#got ptsd from it and everything
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I decided to bounce around between a few episodes to see what you’re talking about and I can not BELIEVE you failed to mention it was a civilization of reverse-mermaids that had the fish princess who wanted to bang Mario
I know we've all been talking about revisiting the Super Mario Brothers Supershow since the release of the movie, but as a Super Mario Brothers 3 cartoon enthusiast, I would like to give you all a compelling list of insane reasons you should go watch this on YouTube right this instant:
The opening theme kind of slaps.
A lot of people get turned into dogs for some reason???
George Bush (Sr) ends up kidnapped by the Koopas and sent to the bottom of the ocean? Which, honestly, may have been the best outcome for 90s American politics.
Peach is into surfing and has an implied fling with some California stereotype surfer dude on Hawaii. Get it, Peach.
You want de-aging tropes? Baby Mario and Luigi? Get 'em here.
Luigi is sent to seduce Wendy Koopa and succeeds. (This is Mario's plan, meaning Mario has utter faith in his brother's natural rizz). You have to watch this for Luigi's voice change, it's incredible.
Speaking of seduction, Luigi is mistaken for a 1,000 year-old mummy's husband. Mario is mistaken for...their son.
Yes, the brothers get into a BLOWOUT fight and it's amazing. Mario ends up brainwashed by Ludwig's mind-control device and the brothers have a very brief altercation.
I don't what the deal is with the Mario franchise and brainwashing/possession/mind control, but in a separate episode, Luigi and Bowser fight over a mind-controlling music box.
Peach is apparently a big Milli Vanili fan (you have to love the 90s) and rope Mario and Luigi into going to a concert in the Real World. Look at these two DORKS compared to Peach, who is effortlessly fashionable. (Granted, Toad gave them bad intel, but I don't think either brother has been "cool" in his entire life).
NERDS.
Mario ends up with a case of PTSD after almost drowning. I wish I was kidding, but this episode goes kind of hard if you think about it. (Not to mention the fish lady who is relentlessly pursuing him for marriage).
The Boys Do Venice.
Bowser takes a "Nice Guy Potion" in order to try to sabotage an election.
Three words: Zombie Trash Koopas
A family from Wichita end up in the the Darklands in their very typical station wagon. Hijinks ensue.
Some of the later episodes kind of turn into awkward Saturday afternoon specials with messages about gossip, racism, recycling, and worker's rights, which isn't exactly what one would expect from a Mario Brothers cartoon, but if you remember the 90s at all, this kind of tracks.
This being said, the episode where the Koopa kids go and try to take over the 7 continents relies on some unbelievably (awful) hilarious stereotypes (again, it was the 90s). But we do get to see Luigi on ice skates, which is a win.
Bowser kidnaps Luigi as bait. It works.
I'm just going to leave you all with this final screenshot.
#smbss#smbss blogging#not technically super mario brothers super show but I'm putting it under that category for organizational reasons#Honestly Holly's pretty hot it's just a shame she laid it on so thick with the romantic obsession#Also you weren't kidding Mario legit almost died in this episode??? He actually drowned#had water in his lungs and needed to be resuscitated#got ptsd from it and everything
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it's so disappointing that we didn't get more of tomura and afo interacting after that huge revelation about afo being involved in his life from the very beginning. he had his dad giggling and kicking his feet. he even encouraged him to have another child. tomura thought afo finding him that day on the street was a coincidence, but it wasn't. none of it was, he was even given the quirk that killed his family then told he wanted every single one of his family members to die and that was born twisted for years after. he even thanked afo for making him for who he is today in previous chapters!
I wanted there to be an actual encounter between them where he is distraught that the man who he thought was his savior has been planning his downfall since before he was even born. I wanted more of afo telling him to his face how he has meant nothing to him and his usefulness begins and ends at him being a possible vessel for himself, and how he's never had any control over his life. then have tenko argue back against his words. to finally stand up to everything afo has tried to ingrain in him. to cast aside the name of tomura shigaraki which was the name he gave him and tell afo how he doesn't need him anymore. that he finally sees him for the pathetic man he truly is. I want to see afo's reaction to losing control over him permanently. izuku would also be helping him through this encounter as well, might write a fic about it tbh.
oh well best I can hope for now is tenko discussing his feelings about what was revealed in 419, that is if he survives. I have a feeling something will happen that will bring him back in some way based on how only the name tomura shigaraki was said but not tenko which is an important distinction to make. a tomura dies, tenko lives situation if you will.
#tomura and a41's dynamic is one of my favorite in the series and I feel disappointed that we didn't get more towards the end#at least he played a part in ending him#idk about ya'll but I always imagine post canon tomura to have complicated feelings towards a41#because he did genuinely care for him at one point and despite everything done to him perhaps a part of him would miss him#even though he did all these horrible things to him that was still the man who he grew attached to and was there for him-#when no one else was#at least that's how I imagine he would explain the feeling...#maybe it's just projection on my end 💀#I also had many thought of toshi taking care of tenko post war and tenko also taking care of toshi because I buy into the toshi is paralyze#from the waist down theory and would need extra help adjusting to a major life change#he helps tenko through his ptsd and talks with him about the things he experienced#I never got my tenko/all might interaction this is how I cope#I never even got a tenko/yoichi interaction *sobs*
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sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately
#i still can't bring myself to make anything art-wise. and it is ripping me to shreds internally#i have no motovation whatsoever and i'm feeling disgusted by my creations. like that's the best you could do huh mixer?#i dunno. trying to keep calm. i'm going to my uncle's tomorrow to puppysit for 3 days#i'm happy that i'll see puppy but being out of my house will be stressful.#plus i've still got work to go to...#and i need to do the laundry and take out the trash and stop buying uber eats and forward my snap benefits email and.#and later today after high school lets out i'm going to talk with an old teacher i had#i need to change my bedding too..#i at least took a shower yesterday#i think my ptsd has been acting up in the background or something#my other uncle tries to tell me to let go of the past. but i don't want to. my past has forever impacted the way i'll be for the rest of-#-my life yk? and my 'past' wasn't even that long ago. it was 2/3 years ago. and my brother's still with that awful man#i can't pull him away from him.#i just wanna sleep. might take a sleep med early just to take a nap#i've been hating everything i make so like. why even try yk.#i drew one thing while i was hospitalized- a tiny sane jack head#i dunno. i dunno. i feel so empty. my depression's been super bad. i don't enjoy things that once made me happy#i feel so aimless. i'm thinking about going to college but i have to see what scholarships would be available because i can't work this job#WHILE in school. it'd wear me to the bone#i don't want to quit my job though. i like my job. i like my boss and my coworkers..#i dunno. idfk what's wrong with me anymore. i just want the pain to stop man.#i dunno what i want to do with myself but i feel like a. fuck it ik it's from firework but i feel like a plastic bag in the wind#i'm so tired. i miss my mom. i miss my sister. i miss my brother.#vent#delete later
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I just can’t find the center of the grief, I can’t find the source. I didn’t like who I was then, I do like who I am now, I wasn’t happy then, I am happy now, why do I want so badly to go back? why do I miss her so much? i’ve done everything right, i’ve built a life I love and am genuinely happy in, I’m doing better than I have in my entire life, why do I feel like I’m making a mistake? why do I feel like I was supposed to be her, not me? why do I feel like i’ve failed?
#like. ok it’s probably growing up in a cult like environment that constantly reaffirmed the idea that if u leave you’ll never be truly happy#or that I got fucking brain damage from ptsd and i’m never going to accomplish what I once thought I would#or that everything I am is a disappointment to my family#and even though I’m happy and I love my life#I can’t escape the feeling that everyone else would’ve loved me more as her#idk. maybe I need a therapist#vent
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sometimes i remember traumatic moments in my life and i’m kind of stunned by how detached i am from them now
#those things used to make me feel so sick and cry for hours and hours#i don’t know if i’ve necessarily healed from them#i’m very big on detaching my emotions from things and every therapist has pointed that out#so i talk about them like they’re just. stories#but they just feel so far away? and i am so different than i was in college that i feel like a different person#i think somewhere along the way i started separating my life by these ‘versions’ of myself#so it feels like i’m not the same person as i was when x happened. and the person who experienced y is different.#my last therapist was adamant that my biggest concern was my ptsd#which makes sense. especially now that i have this detachment from my own memories happening#despite everything i have made so much progress#the person i was 5 years ago scares me#the person i was 3 years ago mortifies me#i never want to return to those low points. i had a therapist tell me that the brain remembers the worst it gets and can remember#how to get back to that low point. and that was why i was hospitalized (cut off the episode with medication so i didn’t kill myself)#but that stuck with me because i’m so afraid of reaching that point again. it’s sick that my ex got me into therapy and on meds before#he did all that though :)#rambling to feel better
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Miss Ninaaaa!!!!
You mentioned having a cat! May we see?
Hope you feel less stressed soon!🫶🏻
AAAAAAAA!!! my favorite conversation topic!!!! yes, absolutely!!! <3 so i actually have an ask i answered over here about her ( smh, i had to send it To My Self because i lost it? fml. but yes, i didn't want to re-type it, it's kind of long, but included lots of cat pictures. <3 )
-uncle nina, cat mom
#oh my god lily is my favorite conversation topic#she is legit my best friend like she is The Homie#she is the fly girl of the ncu she's my problematic fave because she wakes me up at 5am eating plastic#she also likes to step on my laptop and delete everything i write like ik shes reading my soft core smut and is judging me#she fr is reading my shit and is like bestie i'm doing u a favor#but yes everyone say thank you lily yes she is beautiful i am gobsmacked often by her beauty#i can't believe i got her for fifty dollars from a crazed woman in a motel when she acts up i'm like lily chill out ur for the streets#shes she is very spoiled by me she is my baby and my angel#she is also literally A DOG she chases her tail CONSTANTLY its very big and fluffy and i have a big rubber band#and she plays fetch with me all the time but sometimes she cant find it when its 2 ft in front of her...shes not the brightest#she is my princess tho its ok baby shes a sensitive queen#speaking of being sensitive smh everyone say rose we miss you she was perfect and i miss her every fucking day#like literally my first born literally like my first born daughter and i never got closure and never will it sucks#but i'm thankful for the time i had with her she was evil and so smart and very pretty and little w big ass eyes#i write to her every day in my yersey ptsd stan diary#but yes! lily and rose! but no lily is my little lady she is so annoying and shes my super best friend i love her so bad#i hope u also love her she is lovely i promise my sweet girl
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super cute life update: i’ve officially been diagnosed with ptsd from a psychiatrist 😊✌🏻
#kayleigh.txt#only after she asked me a trillion questions about everything ever (ugh) but yay i guess??? 🙃#i mean. yeah. we been already knew but it’s nice to have an official diagnosis re: mental health#i’d like to thank my mother for being the cause of all my ptsd ✨#sure wish cps was a functional system and that they’d taken me away from her the MULTIPLE times they were called#but NOOO i had a big bedroom with lots of toys (that i wasn’t allowed to play with)#and a pantry/fridge full of food (that i wasn’t allowed to eat)#and my mother seemed so nice!!! all those weird bruises must've just been from my tomboyish tendencies 🤷🏼♀️#i played outside all the time and got dirty and scrapes and bruises that is all it must’ve been right??? 🫠#(muffled screaming) aHEM anyways 😅 sorry she basically opened pandora’s box 💀
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#like I’m sorry#I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me#and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard#and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles#but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way#and has never worried about money as a kid#and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course#but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book#like she did everything she can to understand and relate#but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone#because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am#and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping#I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind#but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child#that are impacting by daily life and interactions#and like I feel so fucking alone#and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING#I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops#I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd#especially not therapists of color#I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months#and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me#like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having#flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking#and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me#because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before#like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very#upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis#and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it??#I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary
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Two things that are true at once:
I am not nearly as mentally ill as I’ve convinced myself I am
I am far sicker than I’ve convinced my friends that I am
#:(#my friend and I were talking about post grad plans and we were talking about how our friend is gonna move in w them + their partner#and eventually we got onto how I’m not confident on my ability to pay rent on place by myself#and then they were like omg wait we were actually just looking at a place w 3 bedrooms and thinking about who else we would want to live w#and I literally brushed them off by saying ‘oh no I’m a nightmare to live with’ and they were like no omg it would be so great!!!!!!#it would not be great. and I am hoping whatever these plans are fall through so I don’t have to say anything about it#because I cannot have roommates. my friends have only encountered my ptsd twice and I managed it well enough that I’m pretty sure#no one noticed. but it’s because the vast majority of my triggers are domestic. when I sleep over my moms house I sleep in a bedroom#all the way down the hall away from everything because I cannot hear people’s footsteps by my door or I freak the fuck out#and just the idea of people drinking or doing drugs in a place I live makes me feel like I’m gonna throw up#I’ve tried living in a single dorm before and that was bad enough that I had to move off of campus my sophomore year#I just really really really don’t want to be serious and tell them I can’t#because I know it would be unfair to all of us#I hate that I view myself as a punishment for other people but I know it’s because it is. I would be that crazy roommate that’s brought up#for years afterwards. and it sucks because I like this people even if I know not to trust them#it’s also now a pattern that when I bring something up about me not being normal people think it’s a joke. which maybe it’s my fault#I really need to go back to therapy but do not have the bandwidth to go over the incest thing with a new person right now
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I just wish I knew someone interested in my heavier taste in music. At least I'd have someone to go to shows with AND have someone with me in the pit.
#the only person was my ex best friend who became a piece of shit and got inappropriate with me constantly#especially when it's once in a blue moon concerts within a 2 hour drive radius from here#and it's one of ny favorite bands#I'm still so fucking devastated from having that TBM tour get cancelled bc of COVID#and then when they rescheduled the tour once it was safe it was a different venue the opposite way#and it was on the roommate's bday weekend party where everything went to shit#lmao the fury I have at myself for not having a license and it's directed specifically at my driving anxiety+ptsd#at this point I'd go to shows alone if I had my own car since no one will ever be interested#I just really fucking miss mosh pits and fighting thru a sea of bodies despite being small compared to the usual big metal head dudes#god why did I have to develop a fear of driving orz
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Damn I love my wife so much it might kill me
#dude when i have NOTHING#i never have nothing#because i always have T#she makes my life SO wonderful#and dont get me wrong; my wife is a goblin who i have actively had to teach how to love over the years 🤣#but shes perfect. everything about her i wouldnt change a hair on her head#also turns out i have a body worship kink and thats perfect for a girl who needs SO much love#only took me a decade and a half to figure that out 🤣#bro we've been together ALMOST 12 YEARS NOW#and been friends for 14 🤣❤️❤️❤️#fuck. its so hard to live yunno?#like weve both got ptsd and we've worked our way through so much bullshit#abuse the death of her father being outed at the funeral#running from wv together to start a new life in the city#yunno she wrote her vows months before. i couldnt. i knew no matter what i tried to say it wouldnt be enough#not until i was there. i didnt know i could love her more everyday but i do#yunno as a kid i told myself no one could ever love me#but i ended up marrying my high school sweetheart?#she left a boy for me 🤣#and that doesnt EVEN MATTER ANYMORE ITS BEEN A DECADE#sigh. im in a mood#just dropped her off at work and cuddled in the car shamelessly#its hard to even be away from her for 8 hours#and the craziest thing about it? she feels thw same way about me 🤣#ive been so sick for over a year now#but T's always there. even when she cant be there she is. and i feel that#last night as we were going to bed#i remembered something horrific#she needed to get up early... but she still talked me down for an hour until i fell asleep in her arms#i. am so fucking lucky
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#part two omg <333#u can tell i originally was gonna tweet this and then it spiralled out of control to the point it got too long for tumblr tags. anyway#sometimes i just think about things and i get sooo mad lmao . i knew i was trans probably since i was like 11#meanwhile was so fucked up about this i just ignored it and slowly let it eat me alive for years and years until i hit my brink .#makes me so mad how the few like 'tolerant' and 'accepting' people around here act where theyre like#oh you can be that way but just ignore it <3 dont act on it <3' . you people would rather me go back to#being a suicidal 12 year old instead of actually existing and being happy. you people who know shit all about what i go through#its insanely funny to me too like compared to a large amount of people i am like extremely religious . i have#so much of the quran mf MEMORIZED. A SOLID CHUNK OF THIS ENTIRE BOOK. MEMORIZED#I CAN RECITE THE VERSES FROM IT IN PROPER FORM. i know more than my own dad does and yet.#everyone around me who isnt this at all is like oh yes we know sooo much about everything and this is#soooo gross and disgusting and perverted and sick and evil right maryam. yeah it sure fucking is besties <3#i can be everyones token poster child of having Envious amounts of knowledge and a role model for every future hafidha .#and yet you all only like me because you have to and youd all hate me if you knew anything about me#if you read all this my bad i am just crazy and angry and insane#i will go back to normal later i just need to be insane for a minute lollll#sometimes im like 'why am i so angry. why do i have ptsd' and then i remember how everyone around me is#vent#part two !!!!! wao <333
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((Been the wildest couple of weeks. The animals I mentioned in the last ooc post have all either found forever homes or been taken in by a rescue.))
#(ooc)#There's a load more I could get into but I'll save it for a dif time and keep it brief. Prob on my other blog @Sol-mutaku#I was in charge of caring for all the indoor stuff and that was some two snakes a tort 2birds 26 lizards of various ages#and type. ect yeahhh. Also ahh saved some plants they almost threw out. They're recovering and one even threw out a rad bloom this week!#not my first rodeo. But there were a lot of factors involved. Everything needed food and water ect#I immediately fell in love with the critters nobody wanted to mess with - the has “bites” written twice on the tank kind.#I was questioned multiple times if I really wanted to “open the cages” to care for them and I was like YES that's why I'm here.#Long story short they are my bbys now.#most of my pets at this point are rescues from over the years. my cat is my fav buddy. Left behind for being too “mean” and old.#she's the sweetest and about 18. just insecure and has ptsd. she's really smart too#love animals.#Also been helping the animal health specialist care for a sick calf that almost didn't make it [they rescued] A lot is going into it.#About got stuck on foot in the dark up a hill tonight without a working flashlight. woohoo
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Today I realized I’m now more than twice as old as I was when I got PTSD.
#HATRED HATRED I HATE EVERYTHING#You know the sad thing about getting PTSD at eight years old#Is that when you’re eight years old you’re too young to realize how young eight years old is#EIGHT YEARS#I ONLY GOT EIGHT YEARS OF PEACE#I have this one memory#From when I was eight or nine maybe#I was walking down a street in Toronto with my mother#And I told her that I wished I was six years old again#Because I when I was six years old I had been happy#Ava has thoughts#tw caps#tw ptsd#tw child abuse#vent
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For the most part, my approach to prescribing hormones is “sure,” but I will note that the one thing I lean HARD on patients about is smoking. If you’re transgender, and you’re on hormones, the number one thing we want to protect is your cardiovascular health. That’s frankly the number one thing I want to protect in all my patients, but anyone taking exogenous hormones is at higher baseline risk. And the best thing you can do for your heart is DON’T SMOKE. It’s a bitch to quit, and I didn’t even smoke much or long before I quit in my late teens, and I STILL didn’t enjoy quitting and had smoking dreams for years. It’s harder to quit than just about anything else up to and including crack and heroin, and that’s coming from a patient of mine who recently passed in her early 60s who’d done all of those things—for years and years—but eventually was able to quit everything except smoking. And that killed her. She developed severe COPD and eventually called to say her blood oxygen saturation was dipping into the 70s, which is incompatible with life. She was lucid enough to decline medical care, including refusing to call 911 or go to the ER. A week later, after both I and one of our outreach nurses had contacted her to ask her to please go to the ER, I got a notification that she’d been found dead. She had been so frustrated that she wasn’t a candidate for a lung transplant.
One of my oldest trans patients is in her late 50s. She’s had blood clots that went to the lungs. Repeatedly. Smoking raises that risk. Estrogen raises that risk. She’s a veteran with PTSD; of course she smoked.
These aren’t theoretical. These are humans I’ve cared for over years of their lives. I have been rooting for them—my beloved former addict, who spoke without shame about her years of homelessness and drug use in the city; my queer elders, who are slowly trading in their motorcycles for power scooters. I want everyone to live their fullest, best life.
Smoking doesn’t fit into that. Please don’t smoke. I don’t want you to die like that—not now and not later. I want you to have the future that you may not be able to see yet, but exists.
Since I moved home as an out queer, word got out, and there’s a whole apartment complex of lesbians in their 60s to their 80s who come see me—sitting next to their wives in the office, nagging about blood pressure meds, tattling about not having gotten the shingles shot they said they would. To be clear, when I was growing up in town, I knew no lesbians. Not one. I knew one gay kid in my class, which eventually turned into two. We were it. To see these women living decades with their wives and being able to squabble like any couple in my office over who was supposed to bring their home blood pressure cuff in for us to check it… it means the world to me.
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It feels like im suffocating
#vent#vent post#PTSD attacks keep fucking up my muscles#and how this fucked up state is timed with a fucking annoying family vacation doesn't help AT ALL#im so fucking scared if i lose control and go crazy during the vacation front of relatives#i hope i can control the muscle shaking#i can somehow cover up whenever my body goes stiff#im fucking hoping I don't go crazy and black out during vacation like what happened two days ago#thankfully i got used to the muscle body pain i get from tension#or the pain got a lot less idk. I forget i have pain unlike the two days ago when my body got pain everywhere#most likely i can cover up everything during vacation#but im still anxious#what if i suddenly black out and go crazy???#im sorry i was afraid to post this in my private blog cuz Tumblr kept shadowbanning my private blogs and#i assume it was because of the vent posts i do there#i got afraid if i vent there
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