#got everyone a job at Raphael's university | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wheretheharekissesthefox · 3 days ago

Text

The hand that feeds is the hand that's loved

Chapter 6: Dates and Meatings

Astarion's an aspiring lawyer, who's running from his past and suffers from a long list of food allergies. Gale's a former culinary prodigy, who's going through a nasty divorce and suffers from cooking fatigue. They meet in the snack aisle.

Trigger Waring (18+): Alternate Universe: Modern Setting, No Magic, No Vampire, No Wizard, Lawyer Astarion, Cook Gale, Astarion Has Food Allergies, Gale Is Depressed, Astarion Everything Is A Transaction Ancunin, Mystra Is Faerûn's Gordon Ramsay But A Proper Bitch, Unnecessary Cooking And Food Details, This Is Basically A Culinary Show, Author Constantly Thinks About Food, Food As A Love Language, POV Gale, Angst, Emotional Rollercoaster, Feelings, Overthinking, PTSD, Past Domestic Abuse, Past Non-Con/Rape, Unhealthy Coping Mechanism, Blow Job/Fellatio, Hand Job, Frottage

Read on AO3

As usual, Gale had worried unnecessarily. The meeting on Monday went well, and Astarion didn't mention ‘the incident’, so, Gale didn't either. He didn't want to make a mountain out of a molehill. Actually, Astarion was so professional, blunt, and direct that it had the cook fidgeting on the couch in discomfort, while the lawyer tried to hammer the important but uncomfortable reality into his head.

"Bad news, Gale. I found out that Mystra's lawyer's none other than Raphael Deville, who truly does his name justice. He's one of the slimiest, shrewdest douchebags I've ever had the displeasure to meet. He's notorious for representing all the influential, uber-rich assholes of Faerûn. Ketheric Thorm who owns Moonrise Media Inc. which includes ThormTok, Instaglut and Whispers, for example. Those Rashemi guys who own BooTube. Multiple politicians, and, of course, your soon-to-be ex-wife. So, the uncomfortable truth is that we have to fight with all we've got. Do you understand? We need to reveal everything to the jury."

Gale wriggled about on the sofa, kneading his clammy hands. He didn't want the entire world to know about his failed experiment, nor his failed marriage. If he'd understood Astarion correctly, he'd also have to tell everyone – including his mothers – that his relationship with Mystra had started when he'd been sixteen and she'd been thirty-six. Gale realised he was ashamed to admit it. He wasn't even sure why, he'd loved his wife. She'd told him she loved him too, but Gale started to doubt it. He'd thought it was logical to hide their relationship due to their job positions, and he'd been proud to be so grown-up about it, but now, thanks to Astarion, he saw what a flimsy excuse it had been. Mystra had simply wished to keep it a secret to save her own image – or otherwise people would have started to ask questions.

"I understand that this is difficult for you," Astarion continued, "but we must hit them with everything we've got because they will definitely play foul. They'll try to pin everything on you: the accident, the failed marriage, the stolen recipes, even the fact that you were underage when your relationship started."

At that, Gale couldn't help but laugh.

"That's ridiculous! Who would believe this?"

"With the right delivery and PR, everyone will," Astarion replied dryly. Gale snapped his mouth shut, confused and stunned. "Raphael's clever enough to turn everything into something it's not and make it look believable for the public by using manipulation techniques of compassion. He'll spin some kind of tear-jerker story that reverses the roles, presenting Mystra as the victim and you as the perpetrator. Maybe, you forced her into sex because you're stronger than her, or blackmailed her. Maybe, you were abusive and Mystra couldn't escape the relationship because she never lost hope to change you for the better. Maybe, you stole all her recipes because you're just a nepo baby with no talent. Maybe, it wasn't an accident, but you purposefully set the kitchen on fire because you're jealous of her thriving career. Maybe, she finally came forth with the truth because she could no longer sleep next to a monster, who could beat her to death at any moment. Maybe, there were even drugs involved, which surely can be conveniently found in your bedside table. Everything's possible, Gale."

The addressed just sat there, shell-shocked, and stared into space. Was Mystra able to do such awful things? Did she truly hate him so much that she'd come up with lies simply to destroy not just his career but his entire life? Gale didn't know what to think anymore.

"Gale." Astarion had stood up and walked over to him. Now, he sat down next to him and placed a hand on his. "I know this is hard to accept, but the woman you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. The woman that young, bright prodigy loved is dead."

Gale started to cry, hiding his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry, darling. It needed to be said," spoke Astarion softly.

"I know," sobbed the addressed. "I don't even know why I'm crying, I don't love her anymore."

"The mind's a fickle thing and a mystery. Just let it all out, darling. You'll feel better afterwards."

Gale kept wheeping and wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He was so pathetic. Somehow, he ended up with his head on Astarion's shoulder, wrapped up in the latter's arms, calmed by the now familiar scent of bergamot, rosemary, and brandy. It smelled so much better than Mystra's cloying rose perfume.

"I have more uncomfortable news for you," muttered Astarion. "You need to provide me with a list of potential witnesses. Former neighbours who can attest that Mystra locked you out of your shared apartment. Former co-workers who witnessed how you worked on your new recipes and experimented with the Karsite cuisine. Doctors and therapists who can prove that you never had an alcohol or drug problem, and are not prone to violence. Additionally, doctors, nurses, co-workers, friends, and family members who know about your severe injury, which proves that it was an accident and not arson. Friends who know about your affair when you were still underage. Literally anyone who can provide the smallest amount of evidence regarding the case. This is serious, Gale. You can't afford to be ashamed or uncomfortable about the truth because it will cost you your career – and in the worst case, even your life."

Gale nodded tensely. He knew what was at stake.

Gale Dekarios: I balled my eyes out in Astarion's office and made a complete ass of myself. Excuse me while I jump off a bridge.

Karlach Cliffgate: Aww, mate... Wanna talk about it?

Gale Dekarios: Not really, but I think I have to.

Karlach Cliffgate: Good self-reflection! Don't bottle everything up all the time. It's not healthy for your heart. Wanna meet up at BS for a late lunch/too-early dinner?

Gale Dekarios: Okay.

Gale Dekarios: Thank you, Karlach. I appreciate it <3

Karlach Cliffgate: Mama K's here for you <3

Wyll Ravengard: We'll be there in 30 mins.

Gale Dekarios: I love you both <3

Wyll Ravengard: We know ;) Love you too <3

Basket & Shovel, or short BS, was a diner right next to Waterdeep's classification yard. While sitting inside the concrete building with a video arcade vibe, one had a perfect view at the bustling of the trains through the huge windows. Since the location was unpopular, rent was cheap, and because rent was cheap, so was the food. After Elminster Tower, Basket & Shovel was probably the best place to order deep-fried junk food. Their French fries were nice and crispy, and their hot wings to die for. They somehow even made their Caesar salad addictive. The diner was run by little people, who were the feistiest, most quick-witted staff anyone had ever seen. During the less busy hours, they always blasted Menzoberranzan death metal and Grymforge – a music style between screamo and hardcore rap – through the shitty speakers. At the moment, the band DeepGnome was on.

"You thought you were smart,

stealing my credit card,

but, baby, I wish I'd seen your face

when you realised I'm a broke disgrace.

There's zero gold, you wannabe,

I'm fucking broke, not a single gp.

I'm turning into a Bhaal spawn now,

slaughtering you like a fucking cow.

Choke - on - your - spit!

You - are - a - piece - of - shit!

I - will - rip - you - apart!

Won't - stop - once - I - start!

Your - blood - on - my - hands!

You - had - your - fucking - chance!

You - thought - you - were - sly!

Now - you - gonna - fucking - die!

Raaaaah!"

"Aah, I love this place," remarked Karlach as she stuffed her face with fries.

"It has its charms," agreed Wyll, carefully tackling his hot wings. They were piping hot and on the right side of spicy. Gale was already fingers deep in his portion, eating his feelings instead of drowning it in alcohol. The smaller evil, he thought to himself.

"Okay, now, tell us what happened that makes you want to lie down in a puddle of your own tears and drown in it. We're all ears. Shoot," Karlach told him, sucking some ketchup off her thumb. Gale sighed deeply. There was no point in putting it off any longer.

"Well... I was told that Mystra basically hired the devil's advocate, and I realised that she'll do anything to destroy everything I have." Gale's vision blurred as tears were gathering in his eyes. "She... she really hates me... I never knew. And I'm scared. I'm really, really scared."

Gale sniffed, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, while Karlach and Wyll exchanged glances. Then, the bouncer leaned over the table to pat the cook's hand.

"Look, Gale, I get it. It's scary, but you can't let your fear paralyse you, it won't help you. No matter how scared you are, you must move forwards. Doing something while scared, is better than doing nothing at all."

"Are you speaking from experience?" Gale mumbled, drowning his sorrows in hot sauce.

"Yes, actually," Karlach beamed. "After the shitshow with Gortash, I was scared shitless. But, thanks to listening to my therapist's tips, I was able to get my shit together. And it feels great! I mean, I got a dog, a boyfriend with a dog, and a new best friend out of it! – The best friend's you, by the way."

At that, Gale couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Thanks, Karlach, I appreciate it."

With a sigh, he pushed his only half-empty plate away. He'd lost his appetite. The bouncer eyed the food eagerly and asked: "Don’t you want it?"

"Just take it, I'm not hungry," replied Gale and watched, slightly amused, how she dug into his leftovers with gusto. In her excitement, she smeared hot sauce across her cheek. Gale loved her dearly, but he'd never be able to take her to a high-end restaurant without receiving death stares. Wyll had finished his meal much more primly, and was cleaning his hands with the provided wet wipes.

"Was it all bad news, or did Astarion find a silver lining?" he wanted to know.

"Well, he gave me homework," huffed Gale. "Astarion told me to make a list of attestors and witnesses, who can help unearth the truth about the scandal."

"I can help you with that," offered Wyll, and Gale stared at him, dumbfounded. It shouldn't have come as a surprise though. Gale smiled at him, gratefully.

"Thanks, Wyll. I appreciate it a lot."

"What are you waiting for then? Get your nerdy little notebook out," teased the addressed.

"Now?"

"Of course, now, you mooncalf."

Gale poke his tongue out at a chuckling Wyll, pulled his trusty notebook from his bag, and the three of them started brainstorming.

Gale Dekarios: Hello, Astarion, I hope you're well. I already finished the list of witnesses. Should I give it to you on Monday, or send it to you via e-mail? Additionally, I remembered something that might be accepted as evidence: my notebook. See, I have a habit of writing all my recipes into a notebook, a cooking journal if you will. I always add the date of invention, as well as the dates of the added alterations and improvements. During my years at the university and WEAVE, I became quite known for my old-fashioned quirk and got teased for it. Of course, the judges could argue that the notebook's fake and I created it afterwards and specifically to frame Mystra, but it might be worth mentioning it? I'm unsure, you're the lawyer, after all. Anyway, I wish you a wonderful rest of the day. Sincerely, Gale.

Astarion Ancunín: Hello, Gale, thank you very much for acting fast. Please, be a dear and send it to me as soon as possible (aancuní[email protected]). The notebook thing's worth a shot. May I take a look at it next Monday? I can't guarantee for it to be accepted as evidence because of the reasons you mentioned. It heavily depends on the members of the court, but it's worth a try. We'll get through this together. Take care.

Gale Dekarios: Thank you, Astarion, for everything. I really appreciate your efforts, and I trust you.

Astarion Ancunín: You're welcome, darling.

Gale Dekarios: Would you like to accompany me to the farmer's market this Saturday morning? I know you're busy, but I thought you'd like to experience a bit more of Waterdeep's culture.

Astarion Ancunín: Oh? Will I get a history lesson while sightseeing?

Gale Dekarios: That's not what I've envisioned, but that can be arranged. I'm not the best source for history though...

Astarion Ancunín: It was a joke, Gale. But I'd love to meet up at the farmer's market. At 10?

Gale Dekarios: Fantastic! I'm looking forward to see you! How about 9:00 though? This way, we'll be done with shopping before the big rush.

Astarion Ancunín: If I must cut my beauty sleep short, then I at least hope you make it worth my time ;)

Gale Dekarios: I will! You'll be wooed and wowed, I promise!

Astarion Ancunín: I can hardly wait, darling.

Saturday couldn't come fast enough. It turned out to be a foggy day, but, at least, it wasn't raining - yet. With a sigh, Gale gazed at the grey sky while waiting for Astarion. When the bus arrived, he spotted the lawyer's silver curls immediately among the passengers getting off. Gale resisted the urge to hug the other man, instead, he simply smiled.

"Good morning, Astarion, how are you?"

"Morning, Gale. I'd be much better if I'd still be lying in my bed."

The cooked barked a laugh.

"But then, you'd miss the magic of the market! Which's one of a kind, mind you."

"I'm sure it is," teased the lawyer.

Laughing, they made their way to the farmer's market around the corner. The market square was encircled by the fourteenth-century houses of the historic district. Gale was telling anecdotes regarding the area, and narrating all his actions as they sauntered from one stall to another. Once in a while, he anxiously glanced at Astarion to make sure he didn't bore the lawyer, but the latter seemed content with listening to his rambling, a small, soft smile on his face. Gale couldn't help but gasp in excitement when they arrived at Halsin Silverbough's stall.

The hunk of a man was one of those 'pagan Silvanus hippie folks', as Karlach had put it. Together with around forty like-minded people, he lived in an ecovillage – an intentional, anarcho-primitivism, off-the-grid community – on a piece of land outside Waterdeep called Emerald Grove. Once a week, Halsin and other community members drove to the city to sell their excess produce to make some extra money (a necessary evil to survive in this world and pay taxes and bills).

"Good morning, Gale!" beamed Halsin when he spotted him. "How are you, my friend? I haven't seen you in a while. Are you alright?"

"You don't watch TV, do you?" Astarion remarked, unable to hold back a snort. The tall, burly man with a facial scar and a vine tattoo chuckled, good-naturedly.

"You got me there, my friend. I stay away from all that stuff. It's neither good for your eyes nor for your mental health. It's all brain-washing propaganda anyway."

"Oh, I like the way you think," smirked Astarion.

"I'm a bit busy lately," Gale allowed to let slip. "My wife filed for divorce, and I lost my joy for cooking for a while."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Oak Father preserve you, not matter what obstacles you may face at court."

"Thank you, Halsin. I appreciate your words." Gale gave him a smile. "But let's turn to more pleasant things; I see you're offering fresh beetroot today. And the carrots look stunning as always."

"Oh, yes, they're very fresh – and so is the lamb's lettuce!"

Intrigued, Gale bent forward to take a look at the chlorophyll-rich leaf vegetables. They were in peak condition – as always.

"It looks amazing! I'll take a pound of the lamb's lettuce, two pounds of carrots, and four beets," he decided.

"Fantastic choice," smiled Halsin and bagged his order in eco-friendly paper bags. "Anything else? We still have potatoes and apples from the last harvest, pickled pumpkin, some fresh rosemary, and... I think some jars of different berry preserves?"

"We do!" his partner Nettie chimed in. "But only gooseberry and blackberry."

"Can I have a look at them?" Gale asked.

"Of course. Here."

Nettie handed him a jar each, and the cook read the home-made labels. Fruit and preserving sugar. Safe for Astarion to consume. Gale didn't even need to ponder his decision.

"I take a glass each. – Oh, and do I spot your famous olive baguette over there?"

"Indeed," smirked Halsin. "Would you like one?"

"Yes, please!"

Looking at the bread alone had Gale salivating. He stacked all his groceries in his cooling bag, said his goodbye, and then toddled off with Astarion in tow.

"I'm sorry about the bread," the cook apologised. "I'd offer you some if it wouldn't make you ill."

"It's fine, I'm used to it," sighed Astarion. "That's the hardest part actually, you know? The bread." He barked a sharp, humourless laugh. "I stopped eating bread fifteen years ago, but I still crave it, every single day. There's no greater torture than knowing how real food tastes like and not being able to eat it any longer." He shot Gale a small, sad smile. "It gets easier over time, of course, but... I don't know... It's still difficult to accept my fate."

Gale hummed thoughtfully, gnawing on his bottom lip.

"I can't say that I know how it feels, because that would be a lie, but... I understand how difficult this is for you. I can't even imagine not being able to eat anything I want, and creating dishes using all kinds of foods without restriction."

"My condition would probably be the death of most chefs," Astarion retorted, huffing a laugh.

"Well," Gale quipped, "but I'm not most chefs! I'd see it as a challenge."

"Of course, you would," snickered the lawyer amused, and a warm feelings started spreading through Gale's chest.

"Actually, I do see it as a challenge," he added seriously. "I want to create amazing dishes for you that are pleasing for the eye and the palate."

Once more, Astarion had a look of disbelief and bafflement on his face, as if no one had ever cared about his food allergies before. And Gale realised with anguish that this was most likely the case.

"That's... very sweet of you," the lawyer finally got out, and Gale wished he could squeeze Astarion's hand and pull him into a hug.

"I... well..." Gale cleared his throat. "I care about you. A lot, actually. And I want to –"

He was interrupted by a sudden downpour. Astarion let out an undignified squeak, and Gale forgot himself and took him by the hand.

"Come!" shouted the cook, and together, they ran to the parking lot. Gale quickly unlocked his car and they hid inside. Huffing and puffing, both men got rid of their wet jackets, shaking water droplets from their hair and hands. Then, they locked eyes, both of them looking like drowned rats, and burst out into laughter.

"What a day," chuckled Astarion and Gale grinned.

"I actually planned to invite you to a picnic, but the invitation's literally rained off."

"A picnic? That almost sounds like another date," teased Astarion. Gale glanced at him, slightly anxious, before admitting: "I hoped it would be."

Astarion's sharp, grey eyes landed on him, boring themselves straight into Gale's soul, as if trying to pry the truth out of his chest. The cook's heart hammered painfully against his ribcage.

"Mh, I rather like that, you know?" the lawyer mused with a soft smile. "I can't stop thinking about the delicious food you made me."

"That's... that's great! Because I made you more."

Suddenly giddy with excitement, Gale kicked off his shoes, turned around on his seat, and got his knees under him as he leaned towards the backseats to grab a big cooling bag. A bit clumsily, he manoeuvred it to the front and unzipped it.

"I made sushi," Gale explained, "and before you say anything; I know you can't eat fish, seafood, tofu, and sesame. I used fillings that are safe for you." He handed two glass containers to Astarion, who stared at the food. "Additionally, I made an appetiser. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a picnic, would it?" With a bashful chuckle, he offered another container – this time from a hot box – to the lawyer. "I also brought some water and hot tea. I thought the latter would go well with the sushi and warm us up nicely."

Gale placed the cooling bag and hot box in the back and grabbed the beverages instead. Astarion looked surprised, shocked, and overwhelmed in equal measure.

"Is that... is that all for me?" he asked lowly. The lawyer opened the containers and inspected the food with an expression between awe and mistrust. Gale immediately felt the need to explain himself.

"Yes. Of course. It's all safe for you. For the appetiser, I rolled bacon around dates and then fried them until crispy. They're best eaten when hot, so that's why I put them in the hot box. The sushi mostly contains of vegetable fillings: avocado, cooked carrots, cucumber, pickled daikon radish, and pickled pumpkin. I rounded it off with chicken breast and smoked, rolled, cured pork loin. The latter's texture and taste are similar to lox." When Astarion used the provided chopsticks to pick up a nigiri and squinted at the black seeds, Gale added: "Those are poppy seeds not toasted sesame seeds."

"Hmm..." Astarion looked torn, almost afraid, before he took a deep breath and placed the piece of sushi elegantly in his mouth. As he chewed, Gale observed him anxiously. Hopefully, Astarion liked it. The cook sighed in relief when the lawyer's grey eyes sparked with joy and his entire body perked up.

"It's delicious! Thank you, Gale, this is..." He trailed off, waving the chopsticks around, "amazing."

Gale couldn't help but beam at him when he replied: "I'm glad you like it."

They started eating, and Gale described every variation and how he'd prepared it. He couldn't ignore the warm, fuzzy feeling spreading in his belly when he realised how intently Astarion was listening. Mystra had had long lost interest in his ramblings about his favourite topic, always looking bored or scrolling on her phone, meanwhile, his mothers and uncle indulged him good-naturedly, but that didn't really count. It was a novel experience to have someone who seemed to actually enjoy his infodumping instead of getting annoyed by it. It did funny things to Gale's fluttering heart.

As they sat in the car – both cross-legged and in their socks – eating and talking, the rain kept pattering against the windows. Gale's car faced the hedge that surrounded the parking area, giving the illusion of privacy and calmness despite the busy street right behind it. All things considered, it was a cosy picnic – romantic, almost. Gale watched how Astarion ate the last lukewarm, bacon-wrapped date, a content look on his face as he chewed it thoroughly, savouring the taste. Gale's heart fluttered once more, and it made him happy that Astarion enjoyed the food so much. The cook had finally found his passion for his profession again after the five-month-long dry spell that had left him with zero energy and motivation to work his magic in the kitchen. He was grateful for meeting the lawyer. It truly felt like a sign from above. Gale shifted, stretching his left leg out into the footwell, and shoved the third last piece of sushi into his mouth. Cucumber. Crunchy, with a kick of freshness. Lovely.

"Say, did you try any of the experiments I gave you yet? I'm tremendously curious about the outcome."

"Well, I have to confess that I haven't tried much yet. I've planned to do so on the weekends, so, if I get a reaction, I have enough time to get well again. Thankfully, your little 'experiments' will only make me bloated and gassy and nothing worse, but still... I don't want to rock up on Monday, looking like I'm seven months pregnant and gas my colleagues into comas." Gale couldn't help but burst into laughter. "What? It's true! It would be rude to inconvenience them and our clients."

"Okay, okay, I get it," snickered Gale. "But did you try something?"

"You are incorrigible," snorted Astarion. "Yes, I tried the chicken soup because that would have gone bad first. I ate it the day after our last date. It was delicious, and despite the strong, garlicy smell, I had no reaction to it. I guess you were right about the long cooking time."

"So, that means you can eat garlic when it's cooked for at least three hours," Gale pondered. "I take that into consideration when I'll come up with new recipes."

Astarion gave him a consternated look, retorting: "Who cooks it that long anyway? Doesn't make sense..."

"It does, actually," Gale babbled. "In haute cuisine, it's often used to change the garlic's flavour, especially for pre-prepared spreads, or soups."

Astarion didn't look convinced.

"Sounds like you're making it up to salve my conscience."

"I'm not!" squawked the cook, indignantly. Astarion laughed, gently shoving Gale's thigh with his besocked foot.

"Calm down, darling, I'm joking."

The addressed huffed, distinctly aware of the lawyer's cold toes against his leg. Before his confused brain could categorise his feelings, Astarion removed his foot, and rubbed his arms, shuddering.

"Are you cold?" Gale asked.

"A bit," admitted the addressed, and the cook immediately half-crawled between the front seats to grab the blanket from the back.

"Since the weather doesn't cooperate and we couldn't do a proper picnic, the blanket can be useful in a different way," Gale explained, wrapping it around Astarion's shoulders without thinking. It hit him how uncalled-for his action was immediately after. He recoiled in his seat, placing his traitorous hands between his legs to keep them from doing another stupid thing. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Actually –" Smiling softly, Astarion pulled the blanket tighter around his slender frame, " – I rather like it. Knight in shining armour, or what not."

Chuckling, Gale busied himself by packing up the food containers and conjuring forth the dessert. He'd baked apple crumbles in two ramekins and had kept them warm in the hot box, together with the dates. Gale handed one of the desserts and a spoon to Astarion. They started digging in immediately, and Gale preened when Astarion made some delightful noises. Only then, did he took his first bite. The apples were soft, sweet, and cinnamony. The gluten-free crumbles made of grated almonds, corn starch, sugar, and lard had the right texture and flavour (It had taken Gale six attempts to get it right). It was a rather simple dish, but he thought it was fitting for a picnic, plus, Astarion didn't seem to enjoy fancy foods despite being so posh.

"You have outdone yourself again," praised the lawyer, happily spooning the last crumbles from the ramekin and licking them off. "But I must confess, I liked the tiramisu better."

"Noted," chuckled Gale. "It'll go on the 'Astarion's favourites' list."

"You keep a list?" the lawyer asked, dumbstruck.

"Of course!"

Astarion's face went through a handful of complicated expressions before settling on an easy smile.

"Well... thank you, darling. No one had ever done something like this for me. I'm honoured and appreciate it."

"The pleasure's mine."

Smiling back, Gale deposited the ramekins and spoons in the hot box, and placed the latter behind his seat in the footwell. Then, he stretched as well as he could in his seat with a small grunt. His lower back started to hurt.

"Allow me to drive you home," he told Astarion. "It would be ungentlemanly of me to let you get drenched in the rain a second time."

For a moment, Astarion hesitated, then, he nodded.

"Okay. I live in the Sea Ward, near the Heroes' Garden."

Gale whistled. He'd suspected Astarion to do well as a lawyer, but it still came as a surprise that he lived in Waterdeep's wealthiest neighbourhood. It was no wonder, they'd met at the park. Astarion had probably been on his way home from work. Quite a quaint thought though... Despite living in the poshest neighbourhood, the lawyer went to work by foot and to the market by bus, instead of calling a taxi. Astarion was an enigma.

While driving to Astarion's apartment, they kept chatting about food and meal ideas. Gale happily rambled on about his experiences as a head chef, revealing entertaining details about his failures and successes when coming up with new recipes.

When they've almost reached their destination, Gale was told to turn off into a side street to park in the building's open garage area on the ground floor. The cook stopped his car in Astarion's private parking lot and was a tad confused.

"So, you pay for your own parking space despite not having a car?"

"Yes." Astarion chuckled, seemingly a little bit embarrassed. "You see, when I moved to Waterdeep, I planned to buy a car, but, somehow, I never got to it. I didn't find the time to go to a car dealer, and all the second-hand cars I saw online were not what I'm looking for. I have very specific taste."

"I'm not surprised," smirked Gale. "Just one look at you, and everyone can tell that your fashion sense is expensive."

"Well, I have standards," the lawyer quipped cheekily. With an amused laugh, Gale exited the car, quickly moved around it, and opened the door for Astarion. Smiling, the latter took the offered hand and elegantly got onto his feet.

"What a gentleman. Thanks, darling."

"You're welcome. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I'm alright. Thank you for today, Gale. It was a lot of fun and the food was delicious. I really appreciate how much thought you put into cooking for me. And picnicking in your car, accompanied by the sound of the rain, was rather... romantic."

"Oh." The slightest blush spread across Gale's cheeks. "Anything for you."

He immediately bit his lips. That had been a bit too forthcoming, hadn't it? He didn't want to sound demanding, or like he expected something from Astarion. No matter what kind of filthy images his traitorous mind produced, Gale understood Astarion's dilemma and didn't want to make things awkward. On the other hand... he knew he'd fallen fast and hard for his lawyer.

Gale was brought out of his thoughts when Astarion kissed him. With a surprised gasp, his hand slipped to the lawyer's neck and they deepened their kiss. With a breathy, little sound, Astarion pushed Gale against the nearest supporting pillar, the air leaving the latter's lungs in a rush. But the cook melted right back into the lawyer's embrace and kiss as he was trapped against the hard concrete behind him. Gale moaned when Astarion rolled his hips against his, rubbing up on him. What had started as a nudge of arousal, morphed into an all-consuming need, and Gale couldn't help but pull Astarion closer by the waist. In a fevered clash of tongue and teeth, the hand upon Gale's bicep trailed down to his hip before sliding to the front of his trousers and giving his erection a teasing squeeze that made him moan in surprise. Astarion chuckled darkly, his nimble fingers unzipping the cook's pants and freeing his straining dick. For a moment, Gale worried how exposed they were and that someone could walk in on them, but his thoughts got scrambled when Astarion took them both in hand and started stroking.

"Oh, God!" gasped Gale before he got shut up by another messy kiss. He groaned into Astarion's mouth as they thrusted against each other, the lawyer's fingers toying with his foreskin. Gale could barely whisper a warning before coming between them, his release coating their dicks and Astarion's hand. Panting heavily, he slumped against the pillar, grateful for its support, his forehead falling onto the lawyer's shoulder, who purred: "That's it, darling." With that, Astarion resumed his motions along his own cock, picking up a faster rhythm and giving special attention to the tip. Gale watched, dazed, how the lawyer's thumb ran along the slit from which pearlescent beads were streaming down, covering the rest of his dick and fingers. Astarion's movements almost seemed violent with the way he was jerking himself off, breath ragged and shallow, and when Gale lifted his head up, he saw tears gathering on the other man's dark lashes.

"What's wrong? Does it not feel good?" Gale worried.

"No, it's not – ngh – it's not that," panted Astarion. "It's just – Sometimes, I can't –"

His frown deepened as he bit his lip, the tears of frustration finally spilled down his cheeks. Gale felt compassion, kissed the lawyer's temple and murmured: "Don't worry, I've got you."

Without further ado, he dropped to his knees, grabbed both of Astarion's butt cheeks, and swallowed his dick down to the root. Astarion shouted as if he was in pain and tried to draw back, but Gale pulled him closer by the hips, holding him there, flush against his nose. The cook inhaled deeply, utterly turned on by the musky, citrusy smell with a faint hint of clean sweat.

"Ooh!"

The lawyer sounded like he was about to cry, and his hips bucked when Gale swallowed around him and gently kneaded his ass.

"Fuck!"

Astarion shouted and came hard, shooting an impressive load into Gale's throat. The latter drank it all down, humming happily. He'd missed the taste of cum and sucking cock. Astarion held himself up against the pillar with both hands, his shaking legs threatened to give out. Licking his lips, Gale got up and pulled the lawyer into a hug, carrying his weight with ease.

"That... that wicked mouth's wasted on a woman," mumbled Astarion. "God, have you no gag reflex?"

"Not really," admitted Gale bashfully, and the other man huffed an incredulous laugh.

"Everyone who's ever had your mouth on them, should count themselves lucky."

"Ah, well..." The addressed blushed, not knowing how to respond to such a statement. It had been a compliment, right?

Astarion straightened up, pulled his pants up, and smoothed his hair back.

"That was amazing, darling," he drawled. "Thanks for the lovely date. See you soon."

Astarion kissed him before sauntering off towards the building's entrance, leaving a rather dumbstruck Gale behind. The full one-eighty of the lawyer's behaviour left him confused and with a headache. With a deep sigh, Gale shook his head, tucked himself back into his trousers, and drove home. All he could think of for the next forty-four hours was how Astarion had felt against him and how he'd tasted on his tongue.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #fanfic #astarion x gale #bloodweave #astarion #astarion ancunin #gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #halsin #halsin silverbough #karlach #karlach cliffgate #wyll #wyll ravengard #mind the trigger warning #the hand that feeds is the hand that's loved

6 notes · View notes

majachee · 1 year ago

Note

YOU HAVE A TMNT SHATTERED GLASS AU?!?!

I DO, I DO! It's been in development for a WHILE now, and I've offhandedly mentioned it once or twice on here. But I never really delved into it lmao

The premise is that the OG turtles get transported into the SG world as a last ditch effort to defeat SG Splinter and save the SG turtles! >:3c

SG lore copy-and-pasted from discord:

So for those unfamiliar with Transformers: Shattered Glass (source material that directly inspired this au); it's an alternate universe where not only the roles of villains/heroes are swapped, but the main personality traits of the individual characters get flipped as well.

For example: in this AU, Bradford would be a genuinely caring, teacher-esque guy who got famous for teaching kids self defense and responsibility with his martial arts skills. The Rat King would still be passionate about rats, but he'd be a behavioral scientist who studies the behaviors and intelligence of domesticated and wild rats in order to beat the stigma against them. Teehee.

I love using the canonical kraang technology and dimensional travel in the show itself, so the main plot is that the OG turtles get isekai'd into the "shattered glass" universe as a last ditch effort made by Good Dad Oroku Saki and Oroku Miwa to save the "evil" turtles and defeat the EVIL YOSHI.

Karai and the turtles' roles are flipped in the SG universe, yes. Miwa sees the turtles as her brothers and wants to save them from her wacky as hell bio dad.

Shenanigans DO HAPPEN because this is post-season 5 for the og turtles, and the awkwardness of cooperating with alternative, good guy versions of your enemies to fight against emo versions of yourselves is... wild. Lol. Teehee. :^))

The flipped personalities are way more obvious with the turtles lol

Leonardo is aloof and slacks off, purposely shoving missions and chores onto his younger brothers. He's also lacking the enthusiasm and passion OG Leo has for his interests. SG Leonardo wears disinterest like a badge of honor, though he's also severely lacking in that as well.

SG Raphael is quiet, a pushover, and is much more emotional than his counterpart. OG Raph covers up his insecurities with snark and anger, SG Raph's an open book and is very easily worked up to the point of blubbering out all his weaknesses to his enemies. He hides behind his brothers in battle until Leo or Donnie makes him fight. Saki and his team avoid fighting Raph for obvious reasons.

SG Donatello is a genius and he knows it, that is why he sabotages his underlings and his two aforementioned brothers. He does not use his brains to make inventions or plan tactics, instead he uses his brains to bully everyone else around him and purposely cause problems. He dangles his intelligence above others in order to make them feel bad, especially if they ever ask him to do something with said intelligence.

SG Mikey spent several years in Dimension X on a mission for Splinter, he is now several years older than his brothers and is the self-appointed leader. He is deathly serious, ruthless, has no time for pranks or jokes, and ends up carrying the weight of the team for a majority of their missions. (Because Leo and Donnie keep trying to make Raph do their jobs. 👊😔)

The time difference between Earth and Dimension X fascinated me. So yeah, SG turtles saw Mikey go into a pink portal for like 2 minutes and he came back several years older than all of them. And also a foot taller. That was a very "well damn" moment for them. Lol.

SG Mikey is a more central antagonist than SG Splinter/Yoshi. Evil Mikey centric YEAHHH

#maja needs to shut up tag #ask #text #shattered glass tmnt au #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 au #lol imagine fighting an evil version of your dead dad thats so FU

29 notes · View notes

naivesilver · 2 years ago

Text

things that only happen in the 1987 tmnt italian dub for no discernible reason

(with special thanks to retrotaverna for collecting them, as there were many I wouldn't have thought to include - go give them a watch if you know italian!)

they only make references to italian pop culture. this does not mean, and I can't stress it enough, that they're in some parallel universe where the story is set in italy - they go to italy, some seasons down the line. they go to venice, florence and rome, they dress up as catholic friars and splinter gets to geek about art. what it does mean is that these american turtles live in american sewers, pay for pizza with american dollars and still make jokes about pippo franco.

a notable exception is gone with the wind, because apparently, they ALL love gone with the wind. donnie quotes gone with the wind. shredder quotes gone with the wind. everyone quotes gone with the wind. beats me why.

mikey does a passable neapolitan accent constantly and unprompted. he also has the same voice actor as ash ketchum. a man of many talents.

cowabunga got translated as other stuff for like three seasons straight and the first untranslated one was not said by any of the turtles but by shredder.

upon having to take care of an injured alien, donatello's first demand is for someone to bring him boiled water, to which raphael replies "what are you talking about??? it's not like he's about to have a baby!!!"

people keep bursting into songs........except it's never something related to the story, but only a vaguely appropriate pop tune. the kraang leader hums frank sinatra. there is a robot singing a blues brothers song. other notable mentions feature lucio battisti, vasco rossi and the kessler twins.

they also consistently break the fourth wall to acknowledge the fact that kids are watching them and that they should hurry up before the episode ends.

bebop is from the province of milan and he makes it his whole personality. his accent is the most lombard accent you'll ever hear. he allegedly accepted to work for shredder instead of taking a steady job in milan because "he didn't want to commute". rocksteady hijacks a train and he demands to be dropped off at the municipal square (of milan). upon being asked where his boss is, he earnestly says "I don't know, maybe he went to milan". commitment to the bit 101.

they are always a cautionary bleep away from cursing. always. especially april and raph.

shredder can't drive on his own because he only has a learner's permit. he also promises kraang to bring him coffee in bed if he helps with a mission.

usagi shows up and has to disguise himself as a friar. this is, of course, unrelated to the friar disguises the turtles use in vatican city, and they say it makes him look like a character in the name of the rose.

last but not least, vernon enters a pub and asks for hot cocoa to recover from the disappointment of seeing april on live tv. he gets the cocoa, drinks it, complains that it's "sparkling"(?) and leaves.

close-up on the sparkling cocoa.

it's beer.

get 4kids-ed idiot.

#tmnt #tmnt 1987 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #robe italiane #italian #don't ask where casey was in all of this he's barely in the show at all #maybe he's in milan(?)

46 notes · View notes

blu-eh · 1 year ago

Text

rottmnt fic recs

ive been deep into rottmnt fic for the last couple months. its not a super popular fandom for fic-related stuff so i wanted to give a shoutout to some of the fics ive read & enjoyed!

Tomato Maze by Sroloc_Elbisivni

Leo still has no idea what’s going on here, but if they’re not going to hurt him then there’s absolutely nothing to stop him from screwing with these assholes. He can do ‘recalcitrant and obnoxious’ with the best of them, as any member of his family could tell you. At length. He’s not going to cooperate at all.

He leans against the wall and smirks up at the camera with his third-smarmiest smirk. “Aw, do I get a cookie if I help you with your widdle tests?”

“No.” The door on the other side of the room opens. “You get a tomato if you do this maze.”

“Ooh, tomato maze,” Leo says, and walks through the door immediately.

op's mind is incredible. i read this one after reading their series, bunnyguard, which is ALSO another great bunch of fics but: this headcanon. its mine now tyvm

find another guiding light by taizi

If Leo wanted to be the leader, he’d be good at it. As long as he doesn’t want to, he won’t be. So it’s a scheme—Donnie can get behind that. He knows whose side he’s on. It’s the side he’s always been on, since the day he read the definition of “twin” out of a water-logged dictionary. It’s his job to be here. Leo’s kind of an idiot for expecting him to be anywhere else.

anything taizi writes is incredible and i have been following them since era one piece BUT this one in particular. iconic. love it

Write Me Well, My Love, Write Me Weird by Under_the_red_beenie

When stories start popping up on various media outlets of the Turtleman, New York Cities own personal cryptid, most of the world shrugged. To the citizens of New York? fear, excitement, adoration for this odd and lovable creature. Everyone is quick to share stories and memories of their encounters, much to lament of Turtleman's older brother.

Alternatively, Donnie and Leo accidentally become modern folklore and legend to the city of New York.

AHHHHHH yeah. this one i have read so much & inspired my own fic and it is just!!! this entire concept is just so much fun and they do rlly well with balancing the funny with the deeper bits

i waited eight long months (she finally set him free) by stillateenageabomination

“Chasing us down is one thing,” said the red-masked turtle with a vicious smirk. He kept his grip on his sai firm as his brothers circled around him and April. “It’s gutsy enough that I can actually respect it. But threatening our pizza? Now you made it personal. Big mistake.”

April held her breath. She would not do what she wanted to do, she would not, she would not –

April burst out into uproarious laughter, her giggles so uncontrollable that the mutant that could only be Raphael had to ease up his grip on his sai. He just stared at her in confusion, as did the rest of his brothers, as April struggled to quiet her laughter.

“I’m – I’m sorry,” April said between giggles. It was so bad that her glasses started fogging up. “You’re just – really short.”

2012/2018 crossover i was following this fic back when it was still updating and when i got to the last two chapters there were times wher ei just. could not handle it. had to go take a lap around my house. it is THAT good.

i did want to give a shoutout to some of the ones that are actively updating too:

Leo, Leoo & Leon by Superherokid

Leonardo wakes up in an unknown location which is never a good sign! He is very far from home and he doesn’t know how he got here or where here even is!

SUPER good 2003/2012/2018 crossover. i adored the characterization & spent the better part of last night reading the entire thing

Turtle out of Water by Anonymous

Mikey's aim is more than a little off, and Leo is freed from the Prison Dimension only to land in a universe full of superheroes. Which is cool and all, but he's injured, his brothers don't even know the portal saved him, and he has no idea how to get home.

It takes all of two seconds for the Justice League to offer a helping hand. Not long after, the Team gains a new member from across the multiverse.

rise/DC fic that we all need in these trying times tbh. love it so much

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx

The arrival of four great spirits changes everything

alta/rottmnt. i shouldnt even have to say anything abt this one but it DOES live up to the hype. i am hyped.

#there are others too ofc but this post would have gotten too long #SO. maybe another one eventually #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanfic

17 notes · View notes

jblockman1 · 2 years ago

Text

Last Week on Slap her Bald Head Sunday:

We trudge through the disgusting wasp nest and - shockingly - there's wasps in here

Right as the fight begins Jubat (Our Rogue, who was absent last session) bursts in riding a wasp he just killed. Because of course he did.

We all roll really badly, which commences the shakign and crying etc...

Somehow we get through, get to the top, and save Lulu from getting eaten!

We take a moment to rest and recoup in the car (Also we level up so I get my barbarian level yay)

As we start driving, we encounter a giant boat in the middle of the wastes.

We approach, seems to be called the Wondrous Emporium

A guy named Mahadi is here - apparently we already knew about him from the Otter Wizard back before we descended into Avernus.

He offers to hold a feast for us and tells us about all the shops we can find here.

Jubat and Raphael(Fighter/Barbarian) head to a Forge, find a Salamander (The DnD creature not the amphibian) working the forge and talk shop with him.

The Guy mentions the name Olanthius, as one of Zariel's other close generals (We killed Haruman the session prior so it's good to know who else might be coming to kick our asses.)

The rest of the gang follows me (Altiar, the now Blood Hunter/Barbarian) to what is essentially an Infernal Mail Service

They mention they can deliver messages anywhere in Avernus, and even beyond into other planes (Not the Celestial aligned ones, for obvious reasons.)

The owner also mentions there's a job paying soul coins by the Stygian Docks, something about dredging the river (Sounds nasty but also like it could be fun.)

We then head over to a place called "Ichor's Aweigh", which looks and smells nasty but is still intriguing.

We talk to the guy running the place, his name is Elliach and he's got lots of weird mutations. He deals in demon Ichor and apparently it can give you mutations.

He both sells ichor and buys it, since my character is a mutant blood hunter I offer to sell some of my blood to him instead of ichor and he takes it.

We then buy a vial of ichor and in a moment of impulsiveness that only a character who downed dubious substances for the entire first half of the game would have - I down the ichor immediately.

This was a bad idea as there was a large list of things that could've gone wrong: my ears could've flown off, I could've had my voice fucked up.

Of course the Universe (the Dice) rewarded me for this act of foolishness and suddenly I sprouted wings.

Cara (Our Winged Elf feral Warlock who has wanted all of the party members to get wings of their own) was understandably freaking out.

We, the players, were understandably freaking out.

After that we join back up with everyone and decide to go to the barber. Partially for the sake of Faith (Our poor NPC paladin who deserves to have something nice considering it's STILL her birthday.) And partially because yeah it's been a while since we've gotten cleaned up proper.

The barber's name is Burney and she's rather cheerful

She seems immediately distasteful of soul coins and since we have more gold anyways we don't mind.

Everybody gets a nice haircut and styling (except for Altiar, who being a dragonborn gets his scales buffed out nicely. She also helps my fledgling wings to get a bit more into their proper shape.)

Mentions a friend named "Fizban the Fabulous" in the North West part of Avernus, and wants us to find some info about him.

Is very picky about exactly which gold coins she takes from Raphael.

We head out and end the session, leaving the feast until next session.

LIKE TO SLAP HER BALD HEAD REBLOG TO SLAP HER BALD HEAD (You will die)

#descent into avernus spoilers #descent into avernus

1K notes · View notes

melancholysway · 2 years ago

Text

TMNT Headcanons: Japanese

For every installment of TMNT I’m providing why each turtle would speak/practice/appreciate Japanese, enjoy!

TMNT 2003

Leonardo

- speaking in Japanese strictly to speak formally to Splinter

- doesn’t curse

- nothing informal, iykyk

- I honestly think he would be great at writing kanji, I headcanon that Leonardo has the neatest handwriting out of his brothers

Raphael

- definetely uses that shit to degrade EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that pisses him off.

- You know that man gets mad at everything, even BUGS.

-Expect it to be very informal, likes to use it around Casey to confuse him

-can’t write it as good as Leo, but it’s legible & that’s what matters y’all

Donatello

- uses it to curse…but a little for the sake of speaking it just to speak it.

- Still working on informalities and formalities, but whatever

- not the best at writing it

-chicken scratch fr fr

- don’t ask him to write anything for you

-secretly uses duolingo, emotionally attached to the duo bird xoxo

Michelangelo

- uses it to curse

- can translate (when nobody asked,)

- also to joke around, observe:

Raph: *incoherent cursing in Japanese*

Mikey: so what he means to say is-

Leo: I know what he said!

TMNT 2007

Leonardo

-loves to describe different things using Japanese. Like, he'll compliment the weather or the way something looks

-liked to use it in South America to scare people into thinking it was a ghost

- sort of kind of writes it, not all the time, I think 2007!Leo would fuck up some Japanese poetry though <3

Raphael

-you guys remember his police radio right? Sometimes he'll go on there and talk in Japanese just to fuck with them.

-they dont know what he's saying

-observe the phrase Raph loves the most:

"クソ制服��らゼリーを舐め続けろ、ろくでなし！"

-ill let you guys search that.

- uses it around Mikey to confuse him, but only for short phrases

-doesn’t write it as much, I headcanon he has the second best handwriting in this one since he’s canonically left handed, (I’m ambidextrous) but I speak for all left handed people that we dislike the lead stain on the side of our hands A LOT.

Donatello

-like raph, he uses it someitmes to fuck with the customers on the other line of his IT Tech Support job. If they're giving him a hard time, or being plain stupid, he'll start describing what to do to fix their problem in a different language.

-uses it freely, except one time he was helping a guy who was fluent in it.

-all it took was a "yokai" in response and Donnie was bamboozled.

-he doesn't use it as much on there anymore after that.

-definitely had one of those learn kanji books where you trace the symbols so he can better learn the linework

Michelangelo

-i like to think in this universe of tmnt, Mikey and Splinter watch J-dramas together

-its already mentioned that Splinter is into soaps, imagine him and Mikey watching a good old J-Drama from the 90s.

-Without english subtitles

-Splinter likes it that way, it's more dramatic

-has definitely taught some kids from the parties he hosted how to write pizza in Japanese

TMNT 2012

Leonardo

-okay, he definetely has watched Space Heroes in the Japanese Dub

-A1 voice acting, he loves it

-He sometimes like to say the orders in his head he says to his brothers in Japanese, to see if he still got his translating skills yk?

- would try and speak it around Karai to impress her no doubt

- called inanimate objects by their name in Japanese- couch: ソファー table: テーブル mutagen: 変異原, you get the gist yall

-while splinter was teaching them all how to read and write, Leo got his hands on some post-its and stuck them on every piece of furniture and machinery around the lair and wrote their name in kanji

-convinced that it works and don’t tell him otherwise

Donatello

-would 100% teach April a thing or two

-Master Splinter offered to teach April

-cue Donnie coming into the cut saying he could do it instead

-one on one study sessions with him and April, she enjoys it a lot

-donnie is actually a great teacher

-until he gets into the phonetic and semantics- ie; the science on why in the Japanese language they pronounce certain things the way they do

-she doesn't remember much about that part

- talks to himself while he’s working on an invention, sometimes to Timothy

-Timothy definitely doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s saying

Bayverse TMNT

Leonardo

-most likely uses it while on missions and fighting and in stealth mode, but mainly uses sign language during said stealth mode

-he practices his writing all the time, is really into line work and origins of the language/the evolution of it from ancient to modern Japanese

- enjoys reading it in his downtime, that man definitely has a stack of old Japanese literature that he likes to read!

Donatello

-Reddit man for the win

- anything about Japanese culture/aesthetics, he can answer!

-doesn’t speak it much, but he enjoys learning about the culture a lot!

-REALLY loves Japanese City Pop, probably bayverse Donnie’s favorite genre of music no doubt

-Donnie passes notes under the door of his lab to whoever’s passing by when he needs something, not a full sentence at all, just one word notes.

Observe:

After some loud knocking coming from the other side of the lab door, Leonardo comes to it as if it’s a habit at this point. He’s so used to Donnie not coming out his lab for hours, and he’s come accustomed to retrieving any item he needs from the “outside world.”

So when he sees the neatly placed slip of paper of “food!” written in chicken scratch kanji, he’s trudging his feet to the cupboard where Donnie’s secret stash of lab snacks are. Yes, a whole bin that’s labeled “lab snacks.” He reaches for the usual packet of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts, noticing that there’s only one box left. He would have to ask April to get some again soon.

Leonardo wonders if he should attempt to toast them for Donnie, but as he glances at the silver toaster that Donnie fixed (again) a few nights ago, he thinks about how badly it would end and how pissed Donnie would get for having to fix it the 4th time this week. He picks out the aluminum wrapped strawberry Pop Tarts as is, placing the bin back in its secret place to where Mikey can’t see it.

Raphael

-likes the art aspect of Japanese culture, has the kanji for “family” etched on his shell

-since he knits in his past time, he makes small things that reflect the language or art in some way, whether it be making a cherry blossom rug for Splinter’s room, or making Mikey his requested mits for the winter time patrols with his name written in kanji

- like Donnie, he doesn’t verbally speak it, but incorporates it into his life in some way

-will engrave anything if his that he can with kanji

-since he can’t exactly get a tattoo, he reverts to engraving, hence his shell

Michelangelo

- 100% calls the pizza shop and orders in Japanese

-they don’t understand what he’s saying

-when the Hamato family is feeling some Japanese food, he hits them up and orders in Japanese, he gets all giddy when they respond back

Rise!TMNT

Leonardo

-him and Donnie argue in Japanese 110%

-he’s struggling with memorizing certain kanji symbols, so he’s using Rosetta Stone

-doesn’t like the Duo bird

-has a conspiracy theory that the Duo bird tracks his every move???

-will switch the TV to a J-Drama or put Splinter’s TV to the Japanese Dub version of whatever he’s watching just to fuck with him

-secretly enjoys said J-Dramas

-pretends to be leader and barks orders in Japanese

-yeah nobody listens to him

Donatello

-using his “platinum library card,” he loves those Japanese picture books of modern art

-DOES NOT lend them to Mikey, since he’s missing some now

-overdue library books because of this

-really enjoys those learn kanji trace workbooks, will trace the symbols with a purple colored pencil

-also, everything he writes will be in purple

-he doesn’t care what you think about that

Raphael

-calls animals by their name in Japanese

-cats, dogs, whatever! He’s naming them out loud

-had a pet parrot once that he got to speak back to him in Japanese

-he loved that

-until Leo got his parrot to curse in Japanese

-didn’t know how to make him stop, so he had to deal with that for a while

Michelangelo

-participates in changing the TV around to the Japanese Dub with Leo to mess with Splinter

-the cause of Donnie’s overdue books

-he really likes the art! Preferably the modern art

-100% prank calls people with Leo pretending to be foreign realtors & telling people they’re overdue on their car insurance

Masterlist

#tmnt #tmnt 2007 #bayverse tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #raphael #donatello #leonardo #tmnt imagines #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt imagine #tmnt headcanons #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt fandom

449 notes · View notes

ramzawrites · 2 years ago

Text

My knight in shining shell - 2k12!Leonardo x Reader

GEN

Pairings: Leonardo/Reader

Characters included: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael

Warnings: n/a

Series: No

Summary: Leo is stoic and serious. He needed to be for his brothers and the team. This is just how it worked and honestly he has gotten really good at being the serious leader. But then there was Y/N who just tore that right down to pieces. They were a flirt and somehow they managed to affect Leo. So much so that he began having a serious crush on them. Sadly the flirtiness was only with him, no they did the same with everyone. One moment they flirted with him, which gave him hope on to take that hope and destroy it as they began flirting with someone else. It’s only natural that Leo would get to a point where he needs to tell Y/N to stop.

Word count: 4805

Authors Note: The truth come out, Ramza does not know how to flirt but they tried their best here 😤Also just saying, detailed prompts are always good! It gives the author you request to more to work with! Then again this can depend a bit on the author but I think this is true for a lot

Request: Ohhh requests are open??? How about 2012 leo with a flirty reader. He tries his damn hardest to remain composed and all responsable and leader-like but he just goes full on tomato when reader flirts with him.

Thing is... leo actually developsa crush on reader, but they are a bit flirty with everyone and he is not sure if they really like him back, and is a bit insecure about the whole "stoic boring leader" thing and thinks they would not choose him

One time they are alone and teasing as usual, but leo can't take it anymore and says to please stop playing with his heart, he can't take it anymore. And reader is like... dude I mean everything I say to you, why do you think I flirt with you the most out of everyone?

Angst with a cute ending hehe 💓

(Or just flustered leo with a flirty reader, If you don't like detailed prompts?)

(Ps. Could you tag my sideblog @selfship-mishaps if/when you post the request? I would love to see what you write but don't want it to get lost on my dash!)

Being the leader meant for Leo that he needed to be in control. It was his job to ensure that whenever the group was out on missions that everything went along smoothly. He needed to have a plan for every possible situation. Sure, his brothers may joke that he acts way too paranoid or is way too cautious but this way he could ensure that the chances of all four of them returning in one piece was way higher than if they just winged it. Besides he was happy to take on this burden himself. His brothers don’t need to worry about all those things and can instead goof around when the time allows it.

And the older they got the better he has gotten to fall right into his stoic leader persona. Not a single twitch in his facial expression when he dodged the sixth water balloon from Mikey that day.

His brothers have accepted him being the worrywart and stoic brother that he was. After all they grew up with him, they know him better than he might think. They very much realized what kind of burden he laid on himself. In private Leo did enjoy to goof of here and there as well, which especially Mikey took advantage of, though over time even that seemed to lessen.

Raph would sometimes joke that Leo’s face was made out of stone the way he always carried the same expression on his face.

Now for Leo, the chaos of his brothers was a known quantity. At this point he could predict fairly accurately what they were up to and what was going on. It wasn’t hard to steel his emotions and expression when you knew what to expect and after all, he has a ton of training in that regard.

So, when the group got into contact with a new human, Leo was certain he could uphold his typical persona fairly easy. But of course, the universe wouldn’t make it that easy for him, for the universe sent no one else but the agent of chaos right to them.

Y/N was actually quite a normal human. Did alright at school, had a few friends with whom they happily hung out with and loved to read comics in their free time. And yet if you asked the others, they would describe Y/N as someone who believed that life was a game and that they were currently winning it.

It was almost frustrating how easy Y/N managed to befriend everyone.

They were introduced to the group after the turtles saved them and April from some attackers. April has been already good friends with them. The two just randomly met and apparently hit it off immediately. It didn’t take long for Casey to meet them as well and from that on the mention of Y/N became an almost daily occurrence.

April or Casey would stare at their phones, sometimes giggle or roll their eyes only to explain to the turtles that it was “Just Y/N being Y/N”. Of course, the turtles got curious and asked them about this mysterious Y/N who suddenly caught Casey’s and April’s attention so much.

Poor Donnie saw April even less because she met up with Y/N as often as she could. Something about being happy that she had a normal friend as well.

That of course changed when the brothers saved April and Y/N from a Krang attack. April tried to send Y/N away, tell them to flee and that she got it covered but Y/N was stubborn. They tried kicking one of their attackers away only to painfully realize that they were more robust than anticipated.

The turtles dealt with the bots quite easily with the help of April as Y/N just stared mouth agape. As soon as the last one fell to the ground Donnie helped April up on the roof while Mikey grabbed the new human to help them up as well.

There April calmed them down and explained them that friendly turtle mutants exist and that they were good friends of hers. Saying something on the lines of “Remember the friend group I always hang out with and talk about? That’s them.” Which earned herself a bit of a stern stare from Leo.

“Well, what am I supposed to say when I have to randomly run off when I hang out with them. It’s easier to just say that a friend needs my help. Which is usually true, I just omitted some things.”

He couldn’t argue with that. Leo knew that April was in a bit of an annoying position, but she has managed to handle her two different lives as a normal student and as a kunoichi in training surprisingly well, so he felt it was fair to let this go. Besides the cat was definitely out of the bag at this point.

Which reminded him.

Y/N was standing next to April, once they realized that the turtles were friendly and good friends of their friend they definitely relaxed. They even sported a nice and friendly smile as he and his brothers introduced themselves. It spoke volumes about them how they managed to stay calm and even friendly in the night where they suddenly found out that robots with aliens in their bellies existed but also ninja mutant turtles who fought them on the regular.

Mikey was bouncing around, clearly happy since this situation probably meant that they get to have a new human friend. Even Donnie and Raph eyed them curiously.

Leo on the other hand had his typical neutral but stern expression on. He would be more worried about the implications of this situation, but April seemed to trust them with the knowledge of him and his family. But still, he had to ensure his family’s safety.

Taking a few steps closer so he stood right in front of the new human he took a moment to stare blankly into their eyes. Maybe it was a tactic to intimidate them a little, maybe he just wanted to see how they would react. Either way Y/N wasn’t afraid to stare him down right back. The slight grin on their lips didn’t go unnoticed. It made Leo feel like as if they knew exactly what he was doing. As if they could see right through him. He didn’t like that.

“Y/N.” He tried out their name. Even though their eyes were still burning right through him it felt like there was a new glint in their eyes.

“You do not tell anyone about us, if we find out you talked about us to others… I’ll make sure you will regret it.” Okay, sure some might say this was way too aggressive, but this was about the safety of his family. Seeing how his said family didn’t step in, they must have realized his intentions as well.

As a response Y/N laid their hand over their heart “I solemnly swear I will not mention you guys to anyone. I mean who will believe me anyway? Besides you guys saved me, and April seems to like you. Who am I to put my handsome knight in shining shell in more danger.”

That was a… response. It made him stop in his tracks. If he wasn’t already tense this would definitely make him tense.

April couldn’t help herself as she let out a chuckle “You are impossible.” Clearly used to their antics.

Leo just narrowed his eyes “This is serious.”

“And I’m being serious as well! Everything I said I meant wholeheartedly.” Their smile wide accompanied by a wink, clearly referring mostly to the little flirty quip at the end.

Before Leo could retort April just elbowed their side to which Y/N finally relented and sighed.

“I mean it. I won’t tell anyone anything. I don’t want to put you into more danger and from the little bit what April has told me over time I can tell that she trusts you a lot.” Somehow Leo thought it was impossible for them to sound serious but here they were.

Suddenly Leo felt some weight on his shell and Mikey’s face popped up next to him as he was still busy staring down the new human.

“Does that mean they will be a new friend that we can hang out with?”

“I’m not sure. They would be in way more danger if they hung out with us. It would be better if they just continued on and ignored our existence.” Leo replied.

But apparently Y/N had other ideas because they shook their head “Oh no, Blue. You can’t get rid of me that easily now. Any friends of April are my friends.”

Mikey beamed at that, leaning more over his brother as he continued climbing up him. Leo had to move a few steps to the side to keep his balance as Mikey tried to get closer to Y/N yet he still looked at Leo from the side “See! They say we are already friends, Leo!”

“If it helps, Leo, I’ll vouch for them. I honestly believe one of the reasons I wasn’t suspended from school yet for missing classes is because Y/N here managed to come up with excuses for me even without knowing what was going on. I trust them.”

“Only if Sensei is okay with it.” He finally relented.

Y/N and Mikey cheered at that while April happily laid her arm around them. April might have been happy with having a normal friend, but she accepted a long time ago already that her life will never be normal.

Finally, Mikey jumped off his eldest brother to begin talking Y/N’s ears off.

The group led their new friend to the sewers where Y/N met Splinter. Y/N must have noticed how the others held immense respect towards the tall rat mutant since they tried to act as polite as possible. They happily told him who they were and earnestly told him that they will keep their existence a secret. And after April once again vouched for them Splinter happily agreed to let them be apart of the little friend group of his sons.

When he retreated into his quarters Leo’s brothers, mostly Mikey, immediately jumped to get to know the human better. As they begun pulling them along to show off their home, Y/N took a look back towards the leader in blue.

“Seems like we will get to know each other better, Blue.” Another wink and they turned back around to follow Mikey around.

And as Leo felt a tingle in his stomach at their words and behavior, he knew that they would be more trouble than they are worth it.

And trouble they were. Specifically, for him.

The brothers sat around the kitchen table, opening their pizza cartons to finally grab a nice bite to eat after a long training session. Honestly it went better than usual. Even Mikey managed to somewhat focus. Well for a few minutes longer than usual.

It was then that Y/N just waltzed into their lair as if they owned it. They were about to fling themself on the couch but noticed the brothers in the kitchen.

“What’s up, dude! Good timing!” Mikey said, his mouth full with pizza.

Y/N chuckled as they walked into the kitchen, their eyes looking over the pizza boxes “Clearly! Can I get a piece? Pretty please?”

But Mikey put his arm protectively around his box, lightly pushing it away from Y/N a serious frown on his face “Nuh-uh! I worked for this! Should have grabbed some food before coming over.”

Their eyes widened, their mouth playfully turned downwards “Mikey! My pretty best friend! You would starve me?”

“Yep.”

Clearly Y/N couldn’t let this be so their pleading eyes landed on Raph.

“No chance.”

Then on to Donnie.

“Oh no. This is mine. You came in here unannounced that’s what you get.”

And when Y/N’s eyes landed on Leo, he made sure to ignore them. He just kept on eating. It didn’t stop him from feeling warm under their gaze. And while he made a point to not look at them and concentrate on his food, he did notice Y/N stepping closer. From the corner of his eyes, he could see them pout.

As they stood next to him, they leaned closer to him, one hand casually on his shoulder “Come on, Leo. Please?”

“You heard Donnie.” Was all he said.

Now what Leo forgot was that Y/N didn’t know what shame was and honestly, they were way too brave for their own good.

Just as Leo grabbed another pizza piece their own hand landed on his wrist as he was halfway back in the air. Now he couldn’t help but look at Y/N, who had a very smug smile on their face. Not wanting to give them the satisfaction of a reaction, he made sure to steel his expression into his professional neutral one.

As the two stood in this standstill the other three at the table couldn’t help but stare.

Both kept staring at each other. Leo stoically and Y/N smugly.

Once again to Leo it felt like Y/N could see right through him. Through the façade he put on to look stronger more able than he sometimes felt. Though right now he needed it to hide how his mouth suddenly felt dry, how there was an unmistakable heat climbing up his neck as Y/N stood so close to him. He knew they did it on purpose to stand close and press their side against his.

It’s just how they were, he tried to explain to himself. They searched for body contact whenever they could. Grabbing Mikey to dance to the music they randomly put on. Climbing onto Raph’s back as a way to distract him when they played video games. Throwing their arm around Donnie’s shoulders to pull him away from his projects.

He could feel the pull of their fingers against his wrist as they slowly moved his pizza towards them. Taking a huge bite out of it with a grin.

“Thank you, Blue. You’re my favorite for a reason.”

When they suddenly let go of his wrist, he couldn’t help but miss the warmth of their hand. Even while they forcefully had moved his hand so they could take a bite out of his pizza, it was still careful.

“Is… Is Leo blushing? Did Y/N manage to break our fearless leader?” Raph asked. He genuinely sounded impressed.

Leo moved his head away to the side, a frown on his face. He wasn’t blushing! He couldn’t be!

“Wow. Y/N is more powerful than I thought.” Donnie spoke.

Taking in a deep breath Leo tried to calm his heart down, this was horrible. Normally he could hide his emotions well but somehow Y/N really managed to get under his skin.

Speaking of Y/N they placed their hands on his arm, slightly squeezing it “Hey, Leo, come on. Look at me.” Their voice was soft, quiet even as they pleaded to him but even without looking at them Leo could tell that they were still smiling. They were always smiling.

At this point he felt like he had better control of his body, so he turned around, trying to look unamused. Expecting to see Y/N with a Cheshire smile on their face but he instead it was a soft one. There was an emotion hidden there that he couldn’t decipher. Their eyes clearly running over his face, probably trying to find a hint of said blush. Which he of course didn’t have!

“Aw, I wanted to see your blushing face! I bet it looks cute.”

Leo sighed defeated, once again turning away “Just grab a slice already. You won.” The heat exploded on his cheeks at their last comment. He knew it didn’t work like that, but he hoped that his mask would hide his blush.

“I know I just said this but there is a reason you are my favorite. You don’t let me starve.” They made sure to narrow their eyes and look at the other turtles accusingly.

The others didn’t even seem to properly register what Y/N was doing. They were honestly too baffled that this just happened. Getting under the leader’s skin like that so easily was not easy. Actually, they haven’t seen anything like that yet. Not from someone outside the family at least. As his brothers they knew how to push his buttons, but this was new.

Oh, they will be sure to remind him of this until the end of days.

As it turned out though, they didn’t have to do a lot since Y/N had it covered themself.

After the pizza incident they were mostly found around Leo. Throwing themself on his back whining something about wanting to be carried by him. Stealing his food whenever they could. Putting their legs across his lab whenever the group had movie night. And the hugs, there were so many hugs.

And whenever Leo broke out into another blush Y/N would cheer happily and give him compliments about how it apparently suited him.

It didn’t take long for Leo that he had to admit that he developed a bit of a crush on Y/N.

How could he deny that fact for long when there was literally only one thing that managed to break through his leader persona, and he couldn’t help but enjoy it a little bit. At first it was annoying. He needed to be the serious one, he needed to have the control but somehow Y/N just managed to break through that wall so easily again and again.

The problem with admitting that he did indeed have a crush was that he started having hope. Hope was dangerous, especially with Y/N.

Every time they searched for body contact with him, made compliments, flirty quips when they watched him train, he couldn’t help but for the moment think this was something they only did to him. That this meant something more than just to rile him up and see him flustered as his brothers giggled.

But whenever Y/N pulled Mikey along to dance again, interlacing their fingers with his, whenever they asked for a one-on-one training session from Raph with a wink, whenever they told Donnie that they enjoyed listening to his ramblings because they loved his voice, it felt like someone threw ice water onto his head.

A wake-up call from his own rose-tinted dream that he tried to hold on to.

He knew he made it worse for himself as he couldn’t help but enjoy the attention from Y/N and looked for it whenever they came to visit again. At this point he only needed to take one look at them for his heartbeat to pick up. A smile cracking through his façade when his eyes met theirs. His breath hitching when they notice how he looks at them and grace him with that soft smile that he saw so rarely.

And then they turn around and throw a compliment towards one of his brothers which always brought him back down to reality. Reality hurt.

Reality was that Y/N just liked to flirt with everybody. It was just who they were. It was harmless. It meant nothing.

It meant nothing to them. It shouldn’t mean anything to Leo. His mind knew what was going on, but his heart didn’t.

There was no chance that Y/N liked him back anyhow. They were funny, loved to goof off and did everything to liven the place up. He was just the boring leader who looked serious twenty-four-seven and forced everyone else to take everything serious. No, there was no chance that they could feel the same in any way. It was just impossible.

Honestly this was maddening. He tried to work through his frustration with training and meditation, but Y/N invaded his mind even then. Leo had to admit, he was thoroughly screwed.

Leo knew he had to do something about it but what, he didn’t know.

The day came sooner than he anticipated.

He just finished another training session alone when Y/N came into the dojo. Even as brash as they were they knew that the dojo was a bit of a special place. Taking cautious steps towards Leo, searching his eyes for permission.

Leo chuckled “What’s up?” He made a choice to ignore how his heart was thrumming behind his plastron as he saw how Y/N now walked happier over to him. Their hands behind their back as they smiled their soft smile.

Whatever the reason was as to why they came over, he wanted to believe that it was more than boredom that made them choose to look for him specifically. Damn, there he goes again, making life more difficult for himself.

Y/N shrugged but the glint in their eyes told him they had a specific agenda “Oh, I don’t know. Heard that you were training and thought I could maybe watch but apparently you are done already. Bad timing on my part.”

“You know how often you watch us train you might as well join us.”

“Oh, what? Then I have to save my sorry butt myself! Why save myself if I could just wait for my blue knight in shining shell come and sweep me off my feet.” They sighed dramatically, laying the back of their hand on their forehead.

Leo narrowed his eyes at that. Of course, he would come and save them whenever they are in trouble, but he would do this for all his friends. Y/N wasn’t special at all, yep.

Y/N giggled stepping closer, playfully poking him once at the top of his plastron “Don’t look like that, Blue. If I remember correctly when we met it was you who carried me while you all sailed along the roofs to bring me to your lair. What can I say, I got addicted. I mean who wouldn’t be when a guy just casually picks you up and safely carries you like it was nothing.”

“Can you just… stop.” His voice was quiet, yet it made Y/N stop blabbering while he was surprised himself. It just left his mouth, betraying what went through his mind. He needed this to stop, this false hope was painful.

“Not liking compliments today?” Y/N clearly tried to alleviate the awkward air that suddenly surrounded the two. Their eyes looked over him quizzically.

Leo gulped, noticing how his mouth was suddenly dry, something that happened way too often around them “I-“ It was his chance to finally set things right and get rid of this knot in the pit of his stomach.

Y/N cocked their head to the side “I know you are the serious one, but I really don’t like this frown on your face. I prefer a smile on it. Tell me what is going through your mind, Leo.” They rarely called him that, opting to calling him Blue most of the time.

Their hands tentatively traveled to his hand, squeezing it. It was their way to encourage him. After all they were very much the touchy type.

He sighed, trying to breath out the nervousness that encompassed him “I just can’t keep dealing with this. I don’t think you notice the way you are playing with my heart and it’s just-“

This might be the first time Leo saw Y/N almost mirror his serious expression “You need to talk to me otherwise I can’t help you.”

They were right.

This time Leo didn’t mind that he could tell that he was blushing, he needed this to stop. He couldn’t concentrate anymore but he needed to.

“Your compliments… your flirting is what the problem is. I care for you. A lot. And every time you throw these compliments at my head my heart skips a beat! At first, I was just embarrassed but the way- how easily you can just get to me… I fell for you, Y/N and every time you flirt with me only to turn around to do the same with others.” He sighs again “It hurts. I need you to stop playing with my heart like this. I can’t concentrate anymore. Just- Just stop this with me, please. I know this doesn’t mean anything to you but to me you give me hope only to tear it into pieces the next moment. I tried ignoring it, but I can’t anymore.”

Then there was quiet.

Y/N just kept staring into his eyes as he tried to stand his ground.

Leo just told them exactly how he felt but it was needed. He couldn’t do this any longer.

His face was ablaze, and he could tell that he began to sweat due to his nerves. Leo tried to untangle his hand with that of Y/N’s but they just squeezed his hand again, laying their other hand on top of his. The warmth was welcoming but at the same time it felt like it was burning him. He wanted to retreat, just get out of this situation, and forget this has happened but Y/N held him firmly in this place.

But what really made him stop trying to get out of their grasp were their eyes. The soft smile, a crinkle around their eyes as their smile seemingly reached their beautiful eyes. Though what surprised him was the unmistakable blush that was on their cheeks. It positively sucked all the air out of his lungs.

He could cry, he wanted all of this to stop but somehow it just got worse.

“Yeah, you are right. Only partially though. I am a flirt. It’s how I show I care for people, it’s just my go to reaction but the problem with that is when I really mean it… I guess it comes over as my usual self.” They chuckled nervously.

“Y/N?” his voice was wavering.

“It means that when I flirted with you, I actually meant it for once. Maybe I thought you could tell that I was flirting with you more than the others because I care for you. I think, the moment I met you I began having a crush on you. I never wanted you to feel this pain. The first time I saw your blushing face I knew that I had it bad for you.”

To say the least, this was not what he expected.

Leo expected that they might try to talk their way out of this. Say something that he should loosen up but this? Never. Maybe only in his dreams but that was that. Dreams.

“You mean that?” He flinched at the crack of his voice, suddenly feeling more like a child than a ninja that beat up all kinds of foes on the daily.

Y/N let go of his hand, sad at the sudden loss of contact once again. But their hands landed on his shoulders, pulling him closer against them in a hug. It wasn’t the first hug but this time it felt more genuine, more loving, more intimate.

They slowly moved a step back to snake their hands over to grasp his face softly between their soft hands. Leo involuntarily leaned more into their touch.

Seeing this as a good sign, Y/N smile and moved up to meet his lips in a chaste kiss. Their lips soft as they hesitantly brushed against his. It felt like he got electrocuted. Not believing what was happening. His heart felt like it exploded in his chest. The butterflies in his stomach seemed to have multiplied.

“Does this answer your question?” They looked confident but the waver in their voice betrayed their own nerves.

“I- I think so…”

“Okay, then if you can tell what I’m feeling for you now let me just say this. I’m sorry for doing this to you. I never meant to play with your emotions like that. I realize now how this all must have looked towards you and I’m really, really sorry.”

This time it was Leo who softly leaned over to catch Y/N off guard with a kiss. Where this sudden confidence came from, he didn’t know. Maybe it was all the frustration that has build up over the months.

“I think I can forgive you.” He chuckled. Immense relief rushing over him. “But…”

“But?”

“Maybe keep your attention from now on me only?”

This made Y/N laugh, it was a beautiful laugh that seemed to wash away any of the rest of the thick air that was still surrounding them “Oh, happily! How can I not! I have my handsome prince charming right here.”

And this time with this simple flirt, it felt correct. There wasn’t a heaviness, there was just the heat that laid across Leo’s cheeks while his heart tried to jump out of his chest. And dare he, he even allowed a huge smile to crack through on to his face.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #2k12 tmnt #2012 tmnt #tmnt reader insert #2k12 tmnt reader insert #tmnt x reader #2012 tmnt x reader #leonardo x reader #2012 leonardo x reader #2k12 leonardo x reader #2012 leo x reader #2k12 leo x reader #2012!leonardo x reader #2012!leo x reader #ramza writes

477 notes · View notes

redstringraven · 2 years ago

Text

thought i'd participate in tmntvday since i've done some art of these two but haven't properly introduced them yet or whatever. OTP questions/prompts for week 1 under the cut!

[ID: a digital drawing of raph and a taller, purple-haired girl (gwyn, an oc). they're sitting on the ground in 'opposite' directions, raph reclined so his back and head are resting in her lap and he's looking up at her, smiling. she's smiling back down at him, and they both appear relaxed and at ease with each other. /END ID]

1) in which TMNT universe does your pairing exist?

the 2003 iteration because that's the only sandbox i play in.

2) introduce us to your OTP.

the idiot turtle is raphael and the lady-himbo is gwyneth. raph is from 3rd earth, and gwyn is from liáfsini, which is a world of my own making/kind of a world-between-worlds or nexus situation.

3) how did they meet?

in the most blunt, nutshell and to-the-point way possible: gwyn and her twin-sister-trapped-in-a-weapon are on the run from this druid (darach) from liáfsini, and she happened to cross onto earth. one of darach's hench-critters mistook casey for gwyn, the boys got wrapped up in a fight, gwyn intervened because she was like hey i probably shouldn't let these guys get wasted, they beat the hench-critter and got a chance to talk after.

they didn't really get along at first on account of raph being protective of his family and suspicious, so he was asking questions, and gwyn being paranoid about their intentions and not liking that she was being asked so many questions. terrible job everyone. ...again, this is an extremely condensed version of events.

4) how is the relationship now?

again, i feel like i have to give a very condensed version because there are a lot of moving parts, here. but essentially they're doing great. gwyn and raph develop a high level of trust and respect for each other, which then leads into a slow-burn/careful cultivation of more romantic-leaning feelings. they don't have much of a 'pining period', it's much more small 'pebbles' being thrown at each other's windows.

eventually one night at the farmhouse they catch themselves staring at the other a bit too long and both them realize kind of at the same time "...--oh fuck", awkwardly go their separate ways for the evening, but in the morning when neither of them act differently around each other they silently agree "...okay, let's try this" and step into a relationship. how long it takes everyone around them to notice the shift is anyone's guess because neither of them are much for PDA.

5) what is each other's love language?

raph's love languages for 'giving' are acts of service and quality time. gwyn's for 'giving' are physical touch and acts of service.

raph's love languages for 'receiving' are words of affirmation and physical touch. gwyn's are words of affirmation and quality time.

quality time and acts of service are the two that tend to be the most prevalent in their relationship, giving or receiving.

their own, personal, 'love language' is taking naps together. neither of them are people who trust easy or like appearing 'vulnerable’, so the act of sleeping in the same space as one another is a big gesture for both of them. and raph’s snoring doesn’t bother gwyn that much; it actually almost tethers her to the present and makes it harder for her to slip into a night terror or experience sleep paralysis.

6) do they get married or have any kids?

no and no. i don't think the concept of marriage is important to either of them, even if they could probably do it in liáfsini. i can see them doing something to symbolize that they're together--like, the concept of rings but something different and tied to liáfsian culture--but actually going through with legal/official marriage or a ceremony? nah.

as for having kids, they can't biologically have kids of their own, and i don't see them actively looking to adopt, either. best chance of them having a kid is "what's with this sassy, lost child?" and accidentally wind up found-family adopting some snarky orphan on a mission or something idk.

7) what is your favorite thing about this pairing? (gush as much as you want!)

*just kind of stands here with my microphone* ... disaster bis on the ace spectrum. goongala. *the crowd goes wild*

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt raphael #tmnt oc #tmntvday #tmnt 2k3 #;tmnt #;tmnt oc: gwyneth #;raphael #;raphneth #[ they're stupid and i hate them ]

72 notes · View notes

scribe-proxy-and-deadpan-snarker · 1 year ago

Note

I will not be able to give up my position here entirely.

But my universe is certainly more peaceful than yours. We are not planning to destroy earth again, we have an armistice with hell and our mixed-side relationships went off to do their thing together...

So regarding the non-compete clause: from what I can see your place has a very different business strategy at the moment, that I would not want to adapt in my current employment.

I would need to find a way to savely travel between universes if I need to be on site, instead of a discorporeal voice or texts.

There were a lot of conflicts after our armaggedon because the status quo was so shaken up and everyone slowly came into their free will, in addition to seeing other versions of themselves due to influx from other universes. Restlessness and complaints about the system cause conflicts.

Our Archangel Raphael wished to leave for another universe. There was no way to solve this conflict in a way that would have kept him with us. So I set up some stipulations, and he was let go in an amicable termination of his heavenly contract. Which allowed us to replace him. I had personal and professional conflict with that new Raphael, due to them not seeing the reasons behind our established rules system.

We solved that conflict by talking about our points of view regarding what we wanted for the future of our "company" and settling on a review and rework of the system since it was indeed outdated.

Getting feedback from your employees and actually listening to it, and seeing which points are reasonable and feasable is an incredibly valuable skill when working with people who come to realise they are not just mindless automatons doing their job for Her.

In general a lot of conflicts got solved when we implemented more health benefits, off time, vacation days, plans for adjusting the current rule system and child care for our employees.

I highly dislike you Sir.

But have you tried Ice cream, if not why not? Try it. If yes, did you like it.

Why would you dislike me? I'm just a kindly old man who brings coffee! It's strange how this can make me so unpopular with a large portion of the general public.

Nevertheless, I will still answer your question, even though you dislike me.

Yes, I have tried ice cream and I did like it. My favorite brand is Oatly--it's made with oatmilk.

Now, for a word from our sponsors...

36 notes · View notes

fluffytriceratops · 3 years ago

Text

Random Facts About Kristina. <3

Huehue-

Tags: @rheawritesforfun @digitl-art-monstr @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @post-apocalyptic-daydream @leosgirl82 @raphslovemuffin80 @raphielover @drowninghell @mysticboombox

- She has a photographic memory.

- Mother is a police woman. Father is a nurse.

- Her mother offered to help train her with firearms when she was younger, but she was afraid of them so she refused. She eventually does learn in her mid to late teens. She also carries around pepper spray and other self defense tools everywhere she goes. Originally, Kris had very little if any kind of combat abilities, generally relying on her intelligence to get her out of sticky/dangerous situations. However, not long after meeting the turtles, and going on numerous adventures with them, they convince her to learn ninjitsu and she becomes a highly competent fighter, displaying proficiency in martial arts and marksmanship.

- Kristina is an only child, raised by her parents Westly and Lorie who were originally from Denmark. They moved to New York after they got married. Her mother was in an accident and couldn't bear/conceive children, so they used her father's sperm and had a friend be their surrogate.

- Her birth mom, the friend, is a lovely Egyptian woman. She is basically an aunt to Kristina, and even after finding out she is her birth mother, Kris continues to see her as an aunt and nothing else.

- Growing up, Kristina was fascinated by ancient Greek and Egyptian mythology. She studied it in her free time, and wrote, read, and watched things about it. One of her dreams was to become a Egyptologist from a young age. She longed to travel the world, especially go to Egypt and Greece. A few of her biggest role models growing up were Evelyn O'Connell, Indiana Jones, and Lara Croft. She dreamed of being like them one day.

- At age 15, Kris was able to get a part time job at a book store. She worked there till she graduated High School and eventually quit to become a librarian when she was 18/19. She also goes to the New York University (also known as NYU) to study to become an Egyptologist or an Archaeologist. Eventually somewhere along the line she meets the Hamato brothers. And she couldn't be more happy to have them in her life.

- Kristina tends to be a optimistic person and tries to look on the bright side of things. She can be a bit skittish at times, but she's confident in some situations.

- She's relentless in her goals.

- She knows how to write and read ancient texts, and understand ancient tongues. As an adult, Kris retains her passion for knowledge and becomes more mature and less frightened.

- During her teen years, Kristina said that she had no time for romances, despite her later feelings for Raph, and when finally wedded to Raphael Hamato, she became inseparable from him.

- Kristina is incredibly hyperactive, cheerful, intelligent, bubbly, and optimistic. She's kind to everyone she meets, never threatening or harming anyone directly. Despite frequent scientific complications, Kris finds each failure as an opportunity to learn. She also admitted she had poor people skills and thought if she could help people, they would like her.

- She remembers the most random things. And likes to spew little weird facts at people.

- She's obsessed with books. She takes them with her everywhere. Literally everywhere. She always has at least one book on her person at all times. If you can't find her reading, she'll most likely be writing/drawing, practicing calligraphy or researching random facts.

- She tried to teach herself the hula dance from Lilo & Stitch when she was little, this resulted in her taking hula classes. Something she stopped during high school because, and I quote, "I just don't have the time". Though she does love to hula, and is pretty good at it.

- Kris has always been very serious about her grades. She's very smart, a classic nerd. She worked so hard, she never really made friends in school. She was always studying or doing some form of school work. She was constantly invited to things, but after a while of her constantly declining hanging out, people just stopped bothering to ask at all. This made her a bit of a loner in high school. But she had her books and she was mainly content.

- This is one of the main reasons why she cherishes the turtles friendship so much. Because she never really had any real friends before. It's a foreign feeling/experience but she loves it. And she does her best to be a good friend in return, despite her poor people skills.

- "For science!" a classic catchphrase of hers. Kristina will get herself in trouble/mischief sometimes and when lectured by a friend/family member she'll almost always respond with; "I had to do it, for science!" (or something of the sort)

- Curiosity may just be the end of her. (Raph definitely hovers and feels like he has to keep a close eye on her, lest she go off and do something dumb in the name of curiosity/science).

- She's obsessed with Donnie's lab. She thinks it's very cool and could spend hours in there if they let her. Kris and Donnie definitely go into little tangents, they could talk for hours about science and similar topics.

- Kris and Mikey are doodle buddies. I can honestly see them hanging out for hours just drawing with each other. They'd share little tips and tricks and show each other their art work. It'd be really cute and wholesome.

- She likes to read/draw/write/study while Raph works out. If you can't find her with Donnie, you'll most likely find her with Raphael. Sometimes she'll join him, but she'd rather sit on his shell while he's doing push ups, or lay underneath him, or off to the side somewhere and watch him work. She finds it very attractive, and she likes to watch him train. She thinks it/he's cool lol.

- (mainly for RiseLeo) Kris does not understand his jokes/puns a good majority of the time. Humor isn't really her thing, and sometimes she'll just sit there like; O.O. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Do you think you could explain the joke to me?" Leo probably either A) tries even harder to make her laugh/react. Or B) eventually just gives up entirely and tries to avoid telling her jokes. "Why do I even try with you?" (LMAO) I can totally see Leo telling a joke and Kris not understanding it, and immediately following up with the most bizarre fact and then Leo's the one who's confused/disturbed.

Leo: *pulls off some kind of cringey dad joke*

Kristina: "Did you know that a ducks penis is like a corkscrew?" (she'd also say this completely straight faced-)

Leo: O.O "Why- How do you even know this?"

(Either that or he'd be intrigued and want to know more of her weird ass facts.)

- IMAGINE: she's on a date with Raphael and all of a sudden just blurts out the most random/weird thing- he ends up choking on his food and she's patting his back all innocent- maybe even continuing on with her lil story.

Idk- I have more but imma leave it on that note so this isn't too long hehe.

^^ her friends/family every time Kris opens her mouth to tell them the latest fact she's learned. ^^

63 notes · View notes

autisticandroids · 4 years ago

Note

yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

531 notes · View notes