#good omens crack

[naegleria-nfowleri]

Picnic gone wrong

(This came to me in a vision)

[nonightingalesinberkelysquare]

HER.

[goodomens-girlie]

I actually need Mrs. Sandwich and Crowley to be besties in s3

[angie-words]

Well I accidentally made an Aziraphale special today! Could this be because I identify so strongly with his autistic-coded (to me) ass? Who can say? Also, fic update: I actually got the first draft of my Human AU fic into beta! Now I just need to write the rest...

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[carrythatwayt]

He's been in love for somewhere between 82-13 billion years.

More Aziraphale: Babygirl / Smitten / Help him

[liliumsdoe]

Fellas, is it homosexual sin if you raise a toast 'to the world' but end up drowning in the eyes of your 6,000-year-old situationship—because, let’s be real, they’re the only world that’s ever mattered?

Just asking for a couple of friends...

[wearecrowley]

good omens crack 2 of ∞

[diavalkitty]

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[avoicebehindthestars]

Okay, but hear me out.

Aziraphale and the Metatron leave the lift, the Metatron leads them to an office, wordlessly and with a tight expression. Only once they are inside, door closed, the Voice of god deflates onto a chair, somewhat relieved. Aziraphale is pointed to another chair, sits at the edge, like a naughty student sent to the headteacher's office. 'Right, now listen carefully,' the Metatron says in a conspiratory voice. 'This room is fully warded, absolutely no one can listen in on our conversations here. Well, apart from the Almighty, of course, but I prefer to believe she's on our side. So! You don't want the world to end,' (Aziraphale stiffens at that), 'I don't want it to end either,' (wait, what?) 'Satan himself doesn't want it to end, what with his own kid still out there.' 'Satan?!' Aziraphale gasps, but his mind is sharp enough to process the implications immediately. 'You're in cahoots with Satan?!' 'Of course I'm in cahoots with Satan!' the Metatron puffs. 'The Supreme Archangel elopes with the Grand Duke of Hell, the chief guardian angel of humanity does what ever it is you've been doing with hell's plenipotentiary since the dawn of creation, the Archangel Michael has Dagon and Ligur on bloody speed-dial… What sort of situation did you think this was?' Aziraphale doesn't know which part of that to address first. 'I, uh…' 'Right,' the Metatron doesn't bother giving him room to speak. 'So! As far as I can tell, it isn't humanity being tested, it's us. Just like you said during Armageddon, it's all about the ineffable plan. The armies and the administrations want this war to happen so badly, they would impeach both me and Satan if we were to simply stop them, convinced that we're rebelling against god's word. But now that you're back in heaven, that miracle aptitude of yours will be just what we need!' 'What miracle aptitude?!' Aziraphale gasps. He's been feeling dizzy for a while now. 'Don't play coy with me,' the Voice rolls his eyes. 'Twenty five lazarii? If I were to perform a miracle of this magnitude, it would put me out of commission for half a millennium at least! And you, there you were prancing about your little street the very same day like it was nothing!' 'But it wasn't my miracle!' Aziraphale protests and his subconscious is already working out just how terribly things have gone wrong. 'It was mine and Crowley's! It was joint!' The Metatron freezes. Blinks several times while facts slot themselves into place and conclusions formulate. Finally, he groans and slams his forehead into his desk.

And the rest of the story is the Metatron playing the most awkward Cupid for Aziraphale to win Crowley back while they both try their best to delay Heaven and Hell's endevours to launch the Second Coming.

[katt1e]

"AZIRAPHALE, LOOOOOOK!!"

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Muriel: Maybe you shouldn't use pick-up lines for Mr Crowley.

Aziraphale *stops highlighting 101 Pick-Up Lines*: I beg your pardon, my dear?

Muriel: I've been reading more about humans, they usually advise a 'more personalised approach'.

Aziraphale:

[later that day]

Crowley: Hey angel could you hand me the wine bo--

Aziraphale: I may not have Azira-fallen from heaven...

Crowley:

Aziraphale: ...but I sure Azira-fell for you.

[mrclairdycat]

FUCK YOUR ANGSTY GOOD OMENS HEADCANONS!!

This is supposed to be a comedy series so consider this: Crowley has sleep walking problems and has an incredibly stretchy body since he's a snake and shit. This culminates in the fact you'll always find him sleeping the weirdest positions and places.

Ladies, gentlemen and gentlepeople, here's a compilation of positions I think Aziraphale has found Crowley sleeping in:

[goodomensafterdark]

WingZ Magazine - Issue 02 (SwimZ!) has arrived!

It's finally here! Just in time for the end of Summer! (shhh...)

We did it again, folks! We produced an absolute banger of a magazine!

Read here:

WingZ Magazine Issue 02 - SwimZ!

Links to the previous issue:

Moblie Friendly WingZ - 01 | Print Quality WingZ - 01

Please follow and support these amazing creators - there were so many wonderful goblins who helped put this extraordinary effort together! Congratulations and thanks to everyone!

Credits below the cut:

Art from @ineffablecrankshaft @and-his-hands-were-24-crows @afterdarkchef @trebol-negro @isiaiowin

@theonewiththeshippinggoogles @the-comfy-witch @theonevoice @orangejuiceinmyshoe @c0smicdisaster

@onedappercat @commentdismal @kiripin-art @christophjpg @bilaudad

@daneecastle @vavoom-sorted-art @thescholarlystrumpet as well as u/Blue_McFly, u/BJs4Bildad and u/catartkd from the GoodOmensAfterDark subreddit!

Writing from @theravenmuse @tipofthehat665 @sixbynine-da @kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon @onedappercat

@bentley-after-dark @floscrap-blog @doonarose @whatareyou42 @its-unapologetic-apathy

@fuzzygoblin @ineffablyruined @depressedpenguin2 @featheredboaconstrictor @thenerdalert

@lemon-tart-221 as well as u/NegotiationReal6508 and u/Busy24-7 from the GoodOmensAfterDark subreddit!

Final layout, wrangling, and recruiting by the editorial staff @saucysmutpigeon @nosferatini and u/soggyfritter from the GoodOmensAfterDark subreddit!

If you'd like a chance to participate in future issues of WingZ Magazine, come join the fun on at GoodOmensAfterDark on Reddit!

[angie-words]

Happy Monday! And a reminder: it's always a good day to make your existence everyone's problem

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[carrythatwayt]

Muriel: sweetest angel in the garrison.

Pt. 2