#good for her! we love some (marginal) growth!

[cloudprincesslady]

you know at least she finally figured out how to share air time with a female collaborator! and it's really good!

[fanhackers]

I interviewed the organizers of the Media Fandom Oral History Project, and they shared about the project and what makes it important! The project collects oral histories (interviews) from fans about their fannish experiences. Oral histories help fans define for ourselves what it means to a fan, and they help preserve our histories for future generations. 

The project needs volunteers! Email oralhistoryfandom (at) gmail (dot) com if you want to get involved. 

The full interview can be found under the cut. 

-Lianne, Fanhackers volunteer

Q: Can you briefly introduce yourself, the project, and its purpose?

Morgan Dawn: I am Morgan Dawn and have been a slash fanfiction fan since the 1990s. I entered fandom during the last years of paper fanfiction and the beginning era of online fandom. 

The Media Fandom Oral History Project’s goal is to capture our history in our own words and with our own voices. The idea came when I was sitting at our kitchen table with my friend Sandy Herrold. We realized that fans talking to other fans in informal settings was the perfect way to showcase our community and our connections. What could be more fannish than talking about and sharing the things we love? We started interviewing fans at conventions, then moved to phone interviews and have finally switched the project into a Do-It-Yourself Mode with fans taking the lead interviewing their friends and choosing what they want to preserve.

The recordings are submitted to the University of Iowa's oral history collection and are available online. We are hoping to provide transcripts for all of the interviews. The University of Iowa has one of the world's largest fanfiction fanzine collections. You can see the list of interviews at Fanlore, one of the OTW’s projects. 

Franzeska Dickson: I am Franzeska Dickson and have also been a slash fan since the 90s. In my case, I started as a 13-year-old screaming about Scully on alt.tv.x-files during the first season. (I was a NoRomo, as I recall, mostly because I thought Mulder wasn't nearly good enough for her.) I remember being floored when I was told about fanfic. I have no memory of being told that slash existed. I guess it didn't seem like a big deal. I spent the late 90s and early 00s in anime fandom before swinging back to oldschool Media Fandom and later to other Asian fandoms.

I ran into Morgan at a con and informed her that her recording plans were all wrong and she needed the type of voice recorder that linguists use in the field… I ended up with the recorder and the bulk of the early interviewing work.

Q: Speaking as if to someone unfamiliar with oral history and your project, why is the Media Fandom Oral History Project important?

MD: The recordings allow us to speak directly to future generations of fans and control the discussion of what it means to be a ‘fan.’ By having fans talk to other fans we bypass the dominant narrative of how fans interact with the TV, movies, books and comics. It is also an opportunity for marginalized members of our community to talk about their experiences. There has been much scholarship surrounding live action and anime fandoms. Some of it has been done by academics who are fans themselves and it has been wonderful to see the growth of Fandom Studies. But oral history offers every fan the ability to use their own words to talk about the things they remember and what matters to them.

FD: The early zine generation is rapidly dropping dead, and even when they aren't, I'm always running into younger fans trying to do research who have zero clue who's still alive or where to find them. If we wait for people to do their secondary academic research, it will be too late. Primary sources now or we won't have them!

The scope of fans who are interested in fandom history is much wider than the people who can make the right connections to talk to someone older. It's particularly true for early zines, but it's even true for something like Livejournal: I could rustle up thirty people in five minutes who'd be able to speak cogently on that fandom history. A lot of would-be history researchers currently in undergrad would not. For the future academics, the meta writers, or merely our curious fellow fans, it behooves us to record our history in our own words.

Q: What has the Media Fandom Oral History Project accomplished so far?

MD: We have completed 57 interviews. The first few years we went to in-person conventions and used a digital recorder to interview anyone who was interested. In 2017, a graduate student named Megan Genovese obtained funding and did 24 interviews over the phone in a single summer. During the pandemic, we moved into a DIY (do it yourself) phase - instead of a single person doing the interviewing, we now invite fans to contact their friends and spend an hour chatting about their fandom history. They can use their smartphones, Zoom/video conference recording or reserve a time slot on our international audio conference system. 

We have recorded the history of some of the earliest slash writers, publishers and artists. We have preserved the memories of the first fan who created the first fanvid using a slide project and cassette audio tape. We have heard from fans who organized conventions and started letter writing campaigns to save shows. The interviews include filk singers, fans whose passion is meta, and fans who created and ran some of the first fiction archives. These fans are creators, organizers, supporters, and devotees and have so many stories to tell.

Q: In what ways do you hope the project will grow in the coming years? Or, what are your hopes for the project's future?

MD: We’re a small project and it is difficult to scale with our current resources. By shifting to the DIY phase we’re hoping to encourage fans to take the reins of their fandom history and never stop telling their personal fannish stories. The DIY project also allows fandom communities to leverage off our existing “infrastructure” - we can offer permission forms, an international recording platform (if needed), and a place to archive the interviews.

FD: All fandom history resources suffer from a strong predilection for the researcher's friends or their part of fandom to be the main focus. I hope people from very different parts of fandom will interview their friends about areas other people haven't found important or accessible enough to record.

Q: What help is needed, and how can people get involved?

MD: We need 2 intake coordinators to answer questions, e-mail and collect permission forms (Participants must sign a permission form allowing their recordings to be archived at the University of Iowa). We also need help with outreach to communities that may not be aware of the project - anime, BL fans, cosplayers, filkers, fans in other countries. This is not just a historical project looking backwards. We want to capture our community as it is today and hear from fans whose experiences differ. The central focus has not changed - fans participating in transformative fandom - reading, writing, creating fanfiction, fanvids, podfic, art, managing discord communities. But it all starts with intake coordinators who can keep track of participants and follow up to get the recordings. Each oral history also has a written transcription, as we want this project to be as accessible to as many people as possible. We’ve tried some automated transcription services, and the results are very uneven. This means there’s another opportunity for volunteers, people to listen to the recordings and to help transcribe the contents. 

Q: Is there anything else you'd like people to know about the Media Fandom Oral History Project?

MD: It's a way for fans to be heard. They can describe their experiences on their own terms, in their own words, and take back some of the power of storytelling, rather than having others tell their stories for them.

It's a way to help preserve and honor fan experiences and fan history.

Envision you and your friends, talking about the things you love, your community, and what they mean to you, and describing and preserving these things for history. 

Plus, it's really fun!

FD: If you don't want 'fandom history' to mean just one kind of fandom history, speak up while you can, whether that's here or in essays or in your own projects!

[beevean]

I keep thinking of this interpretation of N!Hector (at the bottom). How, essentially, his growth revolved around his conception of love: how he's at his core a broken, love-starved man who had to learn how to let go out of selflessness.

They make some valid points. So I want to put together why the story still wastes a very intriguing concept and its morals are still disgusting.

Let's take N!Hector purely from this angle. His sloppy writing starts to make sense. N!Hector never warms up to Carmilla, because his last memory of Carmilla is her beating him up after she revealed that her apparent respect was a lie. Dracula is on thin ice: he was the first person who was nice to him, but he lied to N!Hector about his real plans, and most importantly, got convinced that he might have died if Dracula actually succeeded. (still doesn't stop him from wanting to resurrect him)

Lenore is "nice" to him. Lenore not only praised his voice, the strength of his character, etc., but she also has shown that she wants to be with him for no ulterior reason, and that she wants to protect him from mean Carmilla.

So N!Hector is totally fine with her. It's okay that she beat him that one time, because it was his fault (granted, an abused person might think like that...). It's okay that she made a sexual game out of taking him out with a leash: that's just how vampires are, right? It's okay that she used sex and took advantage of his feelings to put a trapping ring on him: it was with good intentions. It was for his sake. It was to protect him.

So, N!Hector falls in love with Lenore because she did everything in her power to keep him in a gilded cage, including resorting to rape by deception. Abuse is love. Selfishness is love. He, too, loves like a vampire, shown by the way he surrounded himself with pets magically compelled to be loyal to him, so the two have the same love languages.

This speaks of a profoundly ill mentality, the byproduct of a lifetime of abuse. It's a delicate topic that should be treated with the utmost respect.

exhibit a: respectful writing that truly gives trauma the gravitas it deserves.

After some more bonding over how similar Lenore and N!Hector are because no one loves them and they're just victims, they're so like each other fr fr, we get to S4E6. In a way, we can see N!Hector's actions here as a mirror to what Lenore has done to him: she used treachery to turn him into a tool and so "keeping him safe", and so he used treachery to cage her and protect her from N!Isaac destroying the entire life she built with the others. This is mercy for him. This is an act of love. Protect Lenore and stay close to her, but everyone else can die, even if it hurts her. I see the intention, I really do.

But add to this the fact that N!Hector's whole plan was for the sake of resurrecting Dracula, therefore risking another mass slaughter, for no other reason than to feel better about his mistakes, and we're starting to see a problem.

We're near the end of the show, and N!Hector hasn't grown one bit. Not morally, and not emotionally. He still has no empathy. He still loves like a vampire. He still has no self-respect. He went through unimaginable torture, and he's still the "manchild" we were supposed to laugh at in S2 - except now he's marginally cooler, I guess.

(also, is it really "love" if N!Hector genuinely thought N!Isaac would kill him and he accepted it? He didn't plan to stick around, he didn't plan to "keep" Lenore with him. So the point starts to fall apart.)

But then N!Isaac makes a speech to him about agency and the will to live, and a few episodes later, N!Hector has his "magnificent" growth. His sign of maturity is letting Lenore die. Not keeping her close, despite her being the kindest person to him (although I suppose N!Isaac will quickly replace her lol). Letting this woman, both a victim and an abuser, commit suicide on her own terms, the terms he never had, is N!Hector finally learning how to love.

All very nice and wholesome. On paper.

Lenore is forcibly made to be sympathetic in S4, to the point that it becomes blatant lying. Suddenly she has no sexual interest in N!Hector anymore, after all she did to him (and very interesting, that Lenore was only aroused when he was her prisoner - now that he has more freedom and seems to like her as a person, she doesn't care anymore). Suddenly her smug demeanour has vanished, treating him with almost real respect. Suddenly there's more focus on how alone she is, and how she and N!Hector can relate to each other and only have each other in the world. It's disingenuous, and all so that I could pity her, and believe that these two would care for each other, and be touched that N!Hector's big love gesture is allowing Lenore to find freedom from her unnatural existence, while in reality I'm just frustrated that this rapist got to find freedom from the consequences of her actions - she doesn't even feel bad for what she did, "I'm sorry for everything you went through", so much for growing to love him. It's not even framed as him being free of her, but her being free of herself, fuck that guy I guess. Hell, even her phrasing implies that the main reason she sunned herself was that she wasn't willing to live in a cage, even with Hector, basically throwing a tantrum because she didn't have power anymore. I get reading between the lines and connecting that what triggered her suicide was the realization that as a vampire she's inherently doomed to go insane with craving power, but she really painted herself in the worst light.

I can't even say that the show forgot about her previous behavior: it specifically calls out to Lenore "solving Hector's problem", but makes it a joke that is quickly brushed off. We are meant to be endeared at Lenore using sex as a tool of deception. Yeah, silly Lenore, that was awkward I guess. More seriously, Lenore neither had a solid change of heart/realization that she behaved like a monster in the name of her "good intentions", nor is she tragic enough compared to her actions - at most I can understand where part of her behavior is coming from, like her being happy to show her strength by beating N!Hector into the ground, but I don't feel sorry for her. The story had the chance to emphasize her conflict with her vampiric nature, if I was really meant to pity her hopeless existence, but it doesn't take it. So I have no reason to care about her, or think she's a good person for N!Hector. The fact that she is the kindest anyone has ever been to him doesn't mean that she is kind, just that this poor man has been spit on far too much.

And maybe N!Hector really is too broken to understand that being raped is bad. Maybe his abuser choosing to waste time around him feels like a banquet for someone as love starved as he is. But is that how he ends? Still not getting it? Still not feeling anything about the way he has been treated all this life? Is he really completely not conflicted about the two-faced way Lenore treated him?

And what about his relationship with humanity? Is writing a book about his mistakes really the best he can do? N!Isaac realized off screen that he wants to change the world for the better: what is, effectively, N!Hector's change in this aspect? Sure, maybe he won't keep resurrected pets anymore, but after jotting down how much he has fucked up in life, what does he want to do? What was his journey, made of nothing but suffering and mockery and the lesson "you are stupid for trusting", for?

If I am to read N!Hector as a victim of deep abuse, so damaging that he has lost all sorts of empathy, morals and self-worth... what is, then, the story told through him? He doesn't get better. He doesn't even get worse, in the same way Isaac did, for example - I proposed an ending where he snaps and sets the castle on fire as a bookend with his abusive childhood, which would have been tragic, but ofc it didn't happen. The climax of his journey is that he holds no resentment towards a woman who was both kind and cruel to him, and simply chose to forgive all the bad that was done to him without any struggle. He accepted the crumbs and lapped the plate.

The message: forgive the people who hurt you, if they think they are only helping you - in fact, don't even think about it. Not because it's unhealthy to let yourself be consumed by resentment. Because if they hurt you for your own good, then they are good people deep down.

Steven Universe became the internet's laughing stock for far less.

(it's not even that Lenore was his mother, or his long-time wife, someone that could be genuinely hard to distance yourself from if they abuse you. They knew each other for maybe two months.)

I cannot empathize with N!Hector, and I can't even sympathize with him, because this is not a character arc, this is a slop job. I don't think Lenore is so nice because she deigns to speak to him, and I don't think her wanting to protect N!Hector can make up for her disgusting behavior in S3. I have no reason to be happy that N!Hector is "free", because he's in the same position he started from in S2: cooped up in a castle, uninterested in getting closer with humankind, alone. And I have no reason to be sad that Lenore killed herself, because the story did a poor job of convincing me that she deserved to be happy with the man she treated like a pet before her character was disingenuously defanged.

I can assure you: Ellis did not have any intention of writing a story about how abuse warps your conception of love. He just liked kicking around a ball in the shape of a character, and then gave him a rushed "good" ending (that still feels bittersweet compared to all others) because of backlash. Trying to see a coherent arc here is like trying to squint to see an image on a magic eye poster, and the effort is not worth it. N!Hector deserved better, and abuse survivors deserve to be represented by characters written with love, not spite.

[jods-duplicitous-sluts]

Alecto the Ninth News

Part Two

If you haven't read part one, click here. If you are looking for part three, click here.

Another bunch of screenshots and links after the cut

If you enjoy this post please reblog so more people can see it!

Source: The Portalist Interview

• wonder who all this could reference...let's see: Gideon, Harrow, Ianthe, John, Judith, Coronabeth, Pyrrah, Aiglamene, and Sarpedon are who I can think of that match this in the literal sense of not being dead[well...] at the end of Nona. But if we start including souls we've seen in the river and deaths we've only heard about or were in any way ambiguous....it gets more interesting. I'd imagine the BOE who were on the Ninth will continue to be involved like AIM and Pash. I'd assume Paul will be a major player despite not technically appearing in two books and maybe Juno Zeta and Kiki?

Source: The Library Journal

• this kind of ties into the above but also ties into the harrowing of hell/what's wrong with the river plot line. I'm still saying John did something to damn the river and feeds off the energy of all the ghosts of the past 10,000 years being unable to cross to the beyond. I'd also venture that it has something to do with needing to restore the soulnof Earth as the rightful power/God of their universe. But eh. Maybe that's too simple. Again, all just speculation on my part.

Source: In the Margin

• This whole interview is great but this part about tragic figures in the locked tomb stuck out to me. It definitely seems like the third temptation will be a subject for Alecto and yet again heading into the Catholic allegories. Obviously referencing to the third temptation of Christ.

For the third and final temptation in Matthew (presented as the second temptation of the three in Luke) the devil takes Jesus to a high place, which Matthew explicitly identifies as a very high mountain[or a tower], where all the kingdoms of the world can be seen. The spot pointed out by tradition as the summit from which Satan offered to Jesus dominion over all earthly kingdoms. The temptation to assume leadership over the kingdoms of man. The kingdoms Jesus would inherit through Satan are obtained through love of power and political oppression. Barrett characterizes this "the old but ever new temptation to do evil that good may come; to justify the illegitimacy of the means by the greatness of the end." [From Wikipedia]

Basically the temptation to overthrow God.

Source: In the Margin

• A return to Canaan House and its mysteries. Is this in regards to the devils and the tower, Abigail and her theory about the secret private chambers of the Emperor, Palamades being systematically lied to about the ages and psychometric signatures in Canaan House or Harrow and her secret door theory? Or something else entirely...but I'm glad that we may get another glimpse into Canaan House.

Source: Nerd Daily Aug. 2020 interview

• Now this interview is pre-Nona as its own book, but I can't think of any 2 characters that interact in Harrow that would have had a moment that fits this in Nona. Brutal sincerity? It feels like it has to involve Harrow, John, Ianthe or Gideon in some way.

Source: The Nerd Daily 2020

• Again on the theme of love which relates to Nona, but TazMuir has said in other interviews to expect that theme to continue onto Alecto.

Also don't expect everyone to get what's coming to them which doesn't shock me.

Source: LA Book Review

• Pre-Nona interview. But talking about Gideon and Harrow’s relationship dynamic changing as their standing changes. Obviously we're going to see some fallout/paradigm shifts with Gideon being the heir aparent of God and Harrow basically becoming a heretic of sorts.

Source: The Library Journal

• Broad strokes here about character growth and a painful but begrudging happiness that some characters will find. But there is a chance at happiness. So that's something a lot of haven't been counting on.

Source: Vox Bookclub Podcast transcript

• while this is a reference to Harrow the Ninth it does mention to look out for more biblical allusion in Alecto. Now, I'm pretty sure this is pre-Nona announcement and obviously we got all the John biblical references but from the other interviews we've been talking about we know there is so harrowing of hell and temptation of christ in our future. Maybe someone more upon Bible study can chime in with other Biblical passages or stories that may come into play that fit the same theme?

Source: The Coode Street Podcast

• Paraphrasing but On episode 598 of the Coode Street podcast, Tamsyn Muir said that Alecto the Ninth was completed but hadn't been edited yet and that she doubted it would be out by the end of 2023 as it was a "chonky boy" or a "chungus" (her words). That podcast was released in December, so I'm assuming recorded in November or earlier.

Seems to me like any listed dates right now are probably placeholders until Tor announces an official release date.

PHEW! That was a lot so far. To be honest there are some other podcast interviews I know I've listened to in the past but haven't had time to revisit for this project so I may be missing some things.

We have one more roundup of interview screenshots to go, but it will have to be its own post. And the theme of part 3 of ATN news is: CW: Ianthe Tridentarius. Yep. There are so many mentions referring to Ianthe in Alecto that they will be their own post. [Yikes]

Click here to see part 3 of this post

[mandokero-eboy]

Haven't commented on the election in a while because nothing ever happens and things have been static in the polls for a while, BUT we just got some really good news

The Des Moines register just published a poll for Iowa showing Trump losing the state by 3. You might consider this an outlier but this pollster is actually the most reputable (and historically very accurate) for the state. Given the margin of error the *best case scenario* for him is winning the state by 3.

Iowa is a solid red state. If he can barely hope to win Iowa with <3 then he's gotta be doing really bad in the swings states. Add this on top of the pile of hints we have that polls generally are underestimating Dems and I think Harris is very likely to win a landslide come Tuesday.

None of these news matter if you read this shit and decide not to vote because she has it in the bag though so call to action: vote for her

If you're mixed on voting for her remember:

Hillary Clinton is going to commit seppuku about not being the first woman president

Around 80% of Israelis want Trump to win

Netanyahu literally campaigns on how much Trump loves him

Trump is going to commit seppuku about losing to a black woman

Elon Musk is going to be executed on national TV by the republicans for blowing it like that

So is JD Vance

Even more under the cut

Two supreme court seats, Abortion and trans rights are on the ballot here

This might be the thing that drives your insane republican family member to not show up to Thanksgiving again

Trump is literally trying to destroy the economy here, on purpose. We know literally nothing about his economic plans other than deregulation, tax cuts for the wealthy, getting rid of Obamacare and tariffs here. Inflation is going to skyrocket, you will live in a death trap that collapses 3 months after being built and your grandma is going to get kicked off her insurance for preexisting conditions.

A decisive trump loss will result in the republican party having no figurehead in 2028 meaning they might not be electorally viable anymore, creating an easily exploitable gap in the two party system for the left moving forward

A resounding rejection of Trump might slow down the growth of fascism and conservatism internationally (hi I'm a Canadian immigrant I'd like it if the Tories stopped piggybacking off of Trump's rhetoric and popularity and the electorate stopped moving right on immigration, we have an election in 2025)

So yeah please vote for Harris

[queerpunktomatoes]

This isn't something I really talk about on this blog but as someone who is chronically ill/mad, a lot of y'all stop caring about autonomy and a person's right to choose how to care for themself when it's an 3@t!ng d!s0r3r. (Yes, I'm pissed that I have to censor that, and I'm really sorry to people using screen readers.)

I've had this experience for over ten years now, and while I am so for people "choosing recovery" and sustaining hope, that's also not the only option or the only one that's somehow morally correct. Some of y'all are out here acting like I have absolutely no brain cells when I say that I'm not "in recovery." You act like I'm either "crazy" and therefore unable to rationally make a decision or I just have a d3@th wish. Neither is true.

The system royally screwed me and many other folks over. I was privileged enough to be in specialized treatment as a teenager, and obligatory "this is just my experience," but it was all about refeeding. They didn't care about why I was engaging in these behaviors. They wanted to make sure I was medically stable and then they sent me back to my parents' house with strict instructions to keep an eye on me. In many ways, treatment made it worse.

(I have one specific memory of group therapy, where we were talking about body trends throughout history [presumably to illustrate that the perfect body is a myth]. The therapist said, "How about Marilyn Monroe?" I started, "Well, she was thin, but she wasn't-" and the therapist cut me off to say, "No, she wasn't!" and explain how she was curvy and beautiful and everyone loved her. This was well-intentioned. But to me, the teenager with years of obsessive urges and crippling body dysmorphia, who legitimately was fatter than Marilyn Monroe, this became a core memory. It might seem a small thing, and in the grand scheme of things, it is. But I learned a lot about what was expected of me in treatment at that moment.)

Treatment inadvertently taught me many things. It taught me that recovery needs to be fast, because it's a drain on family members if it's too slow. It taught me that people who looked like me don't need recovery the same way as others, I needed to "eat normally" and leave. It taught me that it didn't matter what I needed, what I was getting from my behaviors, because the behaviors were bad. It taught me that my experience was somehow intrinsically different than others', because maybe I really did need to lose weight. It taught me that if I wanted to be a good person, I needed to "get better."

So when I "failed" at recovery, I felt horrible about myself. When I lapsed and relapsed and struggled to stand up on my own, I felt morally inferior, because recovery is what you do. People who don't recover d!e. Good people try harder.

I've come to realize, now, that I wouldn't use these behaviors if I didn't need them. I don't enjoy them (contrary to popular belief). I've found some alternatives that work sometimes and others that never do. I've been in therapy for years now, and every therapist says the same things about needing self-confidence and healing childhood trauma. But it doesn't matter, and it never has. I have a great relationship with myself. I think I'm wonderful, and I see my weaknesses, and I'm committed to my growth. Yeah, there's some childhood stuff, but I've been working through it for years, and I'm way healthier now than I have been historically.

And I still use these coping mechanisms. And I think I might always, to some degree. Could I "get better"? Maybe. I don't know, honestly. That's a massive amount of time and resources. It's hard work that demands your focus and energy and money. It's even harder work for people who are multiply marginalized to access services. Maybe I will pick "recovery" one day.

Right now I'm committed to harm reduction. I eat when and what I can. I take care of myself when and after I use a behavior. I'm honest with the people I trust. I don't pretend this isn't happening to me and I don't pretend that it doesn't suck. And equally, I let myself have good days. I don't invalidate myself when things are going well. I don't lie to myself.

And I'm not "crazy" for choosing this. "Recovery" as a concept is inaccessible to me right now. I'm Autistic and have yet to find a provider willing to accommodate my sensory issues. I'm a student and unable to pay for better health care. I'm just not ready to recover. (They say you'll never be ready, and I disagree, but that's another post.)

This doesn't mean I'm engaging in everything all the time and spiraling constantly. I do what I can, when I can. But people consistently act like this is not a rational decision. But it's my body. It's my life. It's not the safest way to live, and I know that. But I get to pick anyway.

I know this post is chaotic and I'm not sure if I got across what I'm trying to, but the point is, even if I wasn't picking harm reduction as the current safest, healthiest, reasonably accessible path for me, it would still be my choice. If I decided to engage until I d!ed, that is still my choice. I, and other chronically mad people, should still have autonomy. I'm still a person. I'm doing this for a reason, and calling me "crazy" or "incompetent" only serves to alienate me more from the recovery I might eventually choose.

But I deserve support even if I never, ever, "get better."

[noisytenant]

"hot allostatic load" is very much a work worth reading and discussing, and it's shameful how the harrowing experiences described can be found unchanged these 9 years later. it highlights so many intersecting dynamics and consequences of the transmisogyny, ableism, and racism that are perpetuated within ostensibly "inclusive" spaces.

that being said, i feel like it still kind of reifies the victim/aggressor dichotomy and maintains "abuser" as a meaningful ontological class of malicious actors, and i'm skeptical of that part of the argument.

mostly i feel like messaging is mixed; between nominal challenges to the moral hierarchy and innocence/guilt paradigm, there are a number of lines that assert the innocence and good intent of victims, while taking as fact the malice and wanton destruction of aggressors.

lines like "abusers don't spend years disabled by those thoughts [of being sociopathic, crazy, or abusive] because they don't care if they hurt other people" have me raising my eyebrows. i feel that this line of thinking leaps over all of the little social and mental tricks that enable abuse--the minimization of consequences, the willful and selective ignorance of power dynamics, the magical thinking of intent trumping impact.

it has been my experience that a great deal of abusive individuals think they care deeply about hurting others, and do at times ruminate about the morality of their actions, but inevitably fall back on various justifications to maintain their behavior. i worry that the reassurance, essentially, "an abusive person wouldn't worry about being abusive" can terminate necessary reflection and growth.

it is an important part of the healing process to first realize that it wasn't all your fault, and that you are not uniquely evil or irredeemable. but i think it's an important part of being a political actor to challenge framing issues in terms of blame and ontological badness entirely. sometimes you are the one who fucked up, badly, and the question of handling that situation is fundamental to anticarceral politics.

the essay seems to believe in a type of genuinely "bad person", but it offers little in the way of how to identify them and what to do about them. how does one distinguish confused and righteous people from "pathological liars"? how does one distinguish the airing of personal grievances privately and without a major callout from the weaponization of whisper networks and silent ostracization? what punishments would be appropriate for the "bad people" who avoid them through privilege? if someone fucks up, what does it look like for them to actually atone and change things for the better?

i agree with the concluding sentiment that "there is no kind of justice that resembles hundreds of people ganging up on one person, or tangible lifelong damage being inflicted on someone for failing the rituals of purification that have no connection to real life". we should carefully consider what tools and methods we use in a quest for a more just world, because some of them have grave consequences. but this alone feels imprecise when paired with the whole of the article's wobbly stance on victimhood and abuse, and general lack of suggestions for how marginalized people can be heard and believed.

i guess my feeling is that i'd like to view the piece as a snapshot of this kind of abuse and its effects on all levels, but i personally think many of the core arguments are better discussed elsewhere. it just isn't very precise and honed, and i think a sharp argument is required to cut through the muck of cognitive dissonance and self-justification that perpetuate the abuses we're trying to stop.

anyways, that's just my two cents. hope it resonates with others; if you see the article differently, i'd love to hear a different perspective on it too. i worry if i'm misreading somehow, or overly critical due to unexamined bias. but i can't really know if that's the case if i don't share my thoughts with anyone else. so, here i am with my thoughts. Heart

[darklydeliciousdesires]

The Dark Passenger - Chapter Nineteen.

I’ve decided to nuke the unlock feature on this besties. It was an idea to maybe try and coax those who usually wouldn’t comment or reblog to do just that, but all it did was prompt all you lovely people who are faultless in doing such to participate more, and if shouldn’t be left to you lovely souls, you do enough! :) So yes, I’ll update once weekly going forward. Huge thank you to all of you who have engaged with this story and are still with me enjoying it. You make me smile!

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen

Words - 4,093 

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

“I’ve been looking for you all morning.” The words of her sister-in-law were what roused Amelia Shepherd from her long, complex train of thoughts, looking at the scans that had arrived the evening before, for a patient Doctor Conrad Knight from St Michael’s Hospital in Santo Padre had deemed inoperable. “My god, that mass!” Meredith then continued, coming to her side and squinting a little at the images. “Meningioma?”

“Glioblastoma,” Amelia confirmed, “with a growth period of fourteen months.”

Meredith’s jaw virtually hit the floor. “Fourteen months, and it’s reached those margins? Holy cow.”

She snorted softly. “Holy cow, indeed. The patient has received six weeks of radiotherapy, but it’s done little to shrink it. That beast is aggressive if nothing else.”

“I’ll say! Anyway, I was looking for you to confirm you and Linc will be at Zola’s recital tomorrow. I have to let the school know how many of us are attending and as usual, I’m late in getting back to them.”

“I’ll be there,” she confirmed, her eyes flitting back to the scan images, “but Linc has surgery, so just put me down.”

“Okay. Good luck with that, too.” Nodding in the direction of the scans, she raised her eyebrows. “You think you can do anything?”

Amelia pressed the tip of her pen against her pursed lips, studying it, slowly beginning to nod. “It’s risky, being that this portion here is pressing so heavily against the temporal lobe from its growth through the frontal, but the rest I think should be a clean removal. I’m going to call Koracick for a second opinion, but yes, I think I can get it all. If not, then at least another round of radiotherapy should be able to kill off the remainder of it, should I deem it too risky once I’m in there and can physically see it.”  

Meredith left her to it, impressed as ever by Amelia’s grit, her confidence in herself over what other surgeons would have tiptoed into with much greater caution. She was one of the best in her field for a reason. Zooming in closer, Amelia muttered to herself, beginning to scribble notes, her mind working speedily. “Two millimetres onto the temporal, hmm... could affect his memory... possibly wouldn’t... if I came at it from... hmm, no... wait... yes! If I... yes!”

One phone call to her mentor later, sending the images for him to study, both discussing it from all angles, and Amelia was able to return to her office and make another call before she was due in surgery. “Miss Smith? Hello, this Doctor Amelia Shepherd from Grey Slone Memorial. Okay, so I have some news following our preliminary discussion. Is Mr Reyes with you currently?”

“Hold on one moment, Doctor Shepherd. I’m upstairs and he’s outside.” Camile raced, barefoot and flat out down the stairs, through the clubhouse and into the yard, finding EZ hauling large quantities of metal into a large container, after stating he felt well enough to actually be useful, for once. “Okay, go ahead.” Putting the call on speaker, she walked with him back inside, taking a seat as the doctor began to explain her thoughts.  

“Of course, before we really get into it, I would like for you to fly up here for an appointment, also so I can have you scanned here at the hospital, since we do boast much superior equipment. I will be in a much better position to know how exactly to proceed surgically after that, but at this moment, I am saying yes. I feel confident that I can remove it. If not all, then most of it. The surgery would not be without its risks, however, but we can discuss that in greater detail once we’ve actually met to begin our preliminary discussions. Now, I have free appointments commencing as of August 17th. When is good for you, Mr Reyes?”

He chose as soon as possible, scheduling with her for August 17th at 10am, thanking her for her call and more so, even considering his case viable in the first place. Camille hung up, trying to bite back her grin, not able to read him for a few moments, his face blank, eyes a little wide.  

He cleared his throat a little. “Did she... did she really just say she’s prepared to do the surgery? I’m not imagining it; this isn’t a dream? She really wants to attempt to remove it?”

Reaching for his arm, she pinched him upon his dragon tattoo. “You’d wake up about now if it was, baby.”  

“I feel... I feel like I shouldn’t be happy about this, like I should proceed with caution, not get my hopes up too much, I...”  

She saw it in him, the need for optimism, that he wanted to at least be a little bit relieved that finally, there was good news, and that such should be celebrated. “EZ, this is amazing news, of course you get to be happy about it. That tumour, up until now deemed inoperable? We just found a surgeon who is stating otherwise!”  

Her bright enthusiasm pulled him out of the veil of pessimism he’d partially slid back under, EZ shaking his head as he stood, beginning to laugh as he pulled her into his arms, lifting her from the floor, swinging her around. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel had been turned back on. Finally, there was hope. “I can’t believe she’s willing to try! I mean, I just... fuck. It might all just be okay.”  

She held his face in her hands as he set her back onto her feet, beaming brightly. “It will be okay. She’s in Seattle. It’s a sign, a clear sign right from your mom. She told you in your dream that’s where you’d find your answer. It’s too spooky to be pure coincidence. You’re gonna be fine, I know it. I just know it. You know I’m not wrong about these things.”

It was true, she wasn’t. What Camille felt with her gut instinct was always correct, that sixth sense she seemed to have. After all, she’d been the only person in his life to know that while he was putting her and everyone else close to him through hell in his altered state, he was still in there, buried beneath the duress of the tumour. The tumour Doctor Shepherd was certain she could remove.  

“Morning, guys,” Hank spoke brightly, beginning to smile as he saw the happy faces that greeted him. “Ain’t seen you looking so happy for a while, prez.”  

“Well, I just got some good news,” EZ began, walking to him. “We found a surgeon, well no, Camille did, this is her win, and she’s prepared to operate on me. She thinks she can get the tumour out, if not all of it, then most.”  

Hank shook his head, grabbing EZ’s face and pulling him close, kissing his forehead before bear hugging him tightly. To have him so elated touched EZ to tears, since he knew that he’d been especially cruel to his enforcer in particular during the months where he wasn’t himself.  

“Damn, you’re gonna have one hell of a badass scar,” he rumbled, EZ laughing and hugging him again just as Bishop entered the clubhouse to be told the same thing, he and EZ embracing, the VP absolutely elated for him.  

“We gotta celebrate this, mijo,” he announced. “We gotta do something, get everyone down here. Hey, it’s Bella’s birthday celebrations this weekend, isn’t it? I doubt she’d mind sharing.”

“Yes, this Saturday. I know because I’m on at the club but then coming back here with all of you to party, and she’s already requested I give her a lap dance,” Camille confirmed, suddenly having three very interested pairs of eyes on her.  

“Oh really?” Bishop rumbled, his grin widening. “Can you do that for a small audience?”  

“Single clients only, no audiences,” she confirmed.

“Damn,” he exclaimed with a little nod of his head, suddenly brightening. “Can you do it again when we all get back here?”

“Bishop, is this just a ploy to see my tits?”

He shrugged, his grin widening. “Maybe.”

“Yeah, but if she even so much as flashed you, you wouldn’t know what the hell to do with yourself,” EZ joked, giving Camille a little nudge and an eyebrow raise that said one thing loud and clear. ‘Do it, it’ll be hilarious.’ It wasn’t a secret that Bishop had somewhat of a small crush on her, or as much of one as a happily married man could.  

“I’m going to work now, see you later, love you,” she spoke kissing her boyfriend before going to get her bag from upstairs, coming back down and turning back at the doors. “Hey, Bish?” Grabbing her top, she lifted it, flashing him speedily before turning and heading out, the three guys in hysterics at her antics.  

“Jesus Christ,” Bishop exclaimed, licking his lips, still laughing. “God damn, those are beautiful tits.”

EZ nodded, winding an arm around his shoulders as they began to walk towards the doors. “And guess who had his dick right up between them last night?”

Hank exploded laughing behind them, Bishop throwing a playful glare. “Oh, I hate you.”

“Envy don’t look good on you, carnan.” Going back out to the yard, they continued to work until the others showed up, EZ sharing with them his news, having his brother in tears as he hugged him, Angel overcome with relief.  

“I gotta call B and let her know, she’ll be fuckin’ over the goddamned moon, bro. And yeah, she ain’t gonna have a problem sharing her day.” When the day came, Angel made it so special that Bella had no problem sharing it with anyone, especially not after she saw her gift from her husband.  

“Can I take this thing off yet?” she asked, her vision obscured by the black bandana Angel had tied around her head, leading her across the yard to where her birthday present had been stashed.  

Coming to a stop, he beamed, excited for her reaction. “Okay, now you can look.” Taking off her blindfold, Bella nearly died on the spot to see her dream car, a Range Rover Sport black edition, with a big bow stuck on the roof. Her scream? Deafening.  

“Oh my god! Oh my bloody fucking bloody god! Oh bloody hell, you got me... you... it’s... oh my god, I love you so much! Thank you, big sexy!” she squealed, throwing her arms around Angel, showering his face with kisses.  

“You’re welcome, baby.” Sometimes, it paid well to not be able to put large chunks of cash in the bank, Angel deciding to spend a huge amount on at least half paying off a near brand-new car for his wife in cash, the rest on monthly credit to an amount he could comfortably afford. It was her twenty-first, after all. She deserved something fancy, and it still kept him under the radar. Large, fancy purchases of course were a strict no-no because of the attention they drew from certain governmental department eyes, the greater push of heroin making each of the guy’s very comfortable financially, but also on the radar.  

Camille came down from the front of the clubhouse, presenting Bella with a big bag of gifts and a huge hug and kiss, having no idea what to get her as a big present, so deciding on lots of little ones. Inside resided all her favourite British candies and snacks and a pair of large hoop earrings with little cherry amber gems, and a pendant that matched, Bella excitedly taking out her current pair to put them into her ears along with all the rest.  

She and Angel left shortly after, Bella jumping behind the wheel of her new ride, pulling a wide eyed, wide mouthed face of utter excitement after starting the engine and giving it a few revs, Camille cracking up before waving them off, heading back inside. She’d booked the Saturday off for a change, wanting a little bit of downtime since she’d been busy between the salon and the club, needing nothing but to spend time with her man. When he was awake, that was.

Gone now were the days of nausea and headaches plaguing him now he was managing to keep his medication to combat both down, but the other most prominent after effect of the radiotherapy was still beating his ass, EZ sleeping on average twelve hours a day, sometimes more. When she arrived upstairs, though, she found him awake, looking through his phone as he did upon waking, Sally curled up at his side.  

“Was that engine I heard starting up Bella leaving in her new toy?” he asked, Camille slipping her feet from her dark grey fluffy slides (or the dead muppet slides, as EZ loved to call them in tease) and moving to lie down beside him, Sally thumping her tail happily and moving to lick her arm.  

“It was, and she absolutely loved it. Angel’s taking her for breakfast, and then I think the plan is for you guys to meet here at 7pm before you all head over to the club,” she spoke, EZ nodding, looking down at his stomach as it rumbled loudly. “Want me to sort that out?”  

“What?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “The rumbling stomach, or the morning wood?”  

“Both?” Sally was nudged from the bed, both falling into kisses, a very hot, quick morning session enjoyed before they showered, EZ shaving while Camille went to sort some breakfast. It was while she was scattering granola and a variety of seeds over the banana yogurt and fruit that she turned to see him, leaning against the bathroom doorframe, smiling, but with something there in his eyes that made her question it. “For a man who just blew his load all over his girl’s boobies, you look a little troubled.”

He shook his head, scratching the side of his neck as he laughed softly. Pulling the t shirt he held in his hand on, he approached, taking the coffee cup she handed him with thanks. “It hits me at times, just how lucky I am to have you, after all the shit I put you through. I would have never blamed you for walking away if you had, especially after I hit you.” He dropped his head, staring at his bare feet. “It still haunts me. If Bish hadn’t gotten in the way, I know I’d have kept going, too. I dream of it sometimes, these nightmares that swirl in my head, imagining losing control, bad things happening.”

It was the kind of turn Camille hadn’t expected the morning to take, her boyfriend placing his coffee down and covering his face with his hands for a moment, taking a deep breath, pulling himself together again. How easily she could have been Gaby. How fortunate he was that he’d had people there to halt him before his tumour had dictated she be another body of a beautiful soul he made quietly disappear.  

“Nightmares aren’t real, and I’m not naïve enough to know that it could have gotten much worse, should we have been alone that night, but it isn’t going to happen again. Doctor Shepherd is going to make sure of that.” Handing him his breakfast with a kiss, she squeezed his arm, moving over to the small lounge area and taking a seat. “Come on, this is meant to be a happy day. Bella’s finally at legal drinking age, you’re celebrating the fact we found the aforementioned surgeon, so turn your frown upside down.”  

The sweet simplicity she showed, how she’d taken it all in her stride, it still amazed EZ. For someone who could be so unguarded, soft and trusting, there was a side to Camille that was nothing but raw strength, her faith unshakable. Her faith in him unshakable. Lesser women would have run from much less, and he counted himself so very fortunate to have her there by his side still. “I mean it, you know. No more lamentations. I know you get a little melancholy about it all from time to time, but I don’t want you to be. I just want you to love me.”

He kissed her cheek, nuzzling her softly, licking a little yogurt fleck from her top lip. “There’s no danger of me doing anything less than love you completely.” Such words left her feeling nothing but glowing, kissing him again before they finished eating, spending the rest of the day relaxing, EZ napping too so he’d have enough energy to enjoy what was to follow later that night.

They arrived at the Luna Lounge at just gone 7:15pm, Bella being greeted by a big bouquet of flowers and balloons from Camille, a free drink too since it was her birthday, the bartender also doing some shots with her, which too were on the house. After that, she was swiftly led away for her birthday dance, emerging just under ten minutes later, her face an absolute picture. For Angel, it could have cost him ten times more than it did, and it would have been worth every last cent.

“Are you alright there, B?” he asked, his voice rippling with a current of laughter as he viewed his wife, Bella grinning widely.

She leaned close to him, giggling in a way that had him snort laughing in a second. “I think I’m bi, because bloody hell, the full-on lady boner I have right now.”  

That was it, Angel was gone, completely cracking up in hysterics as he put his arms around her, kissing her hair. “I swear, she amped it up just to be a tease! I mean she... she... I...” she floundered, only reducing him to further hysterics. “Blimey!”

“I can’t... I can’t fucking breathe,” he hissed. “Best sixty bucks I’ve ever spent, shit.”  

Bella then turned to EZ, her face making him crack in a second. “And you get that woman, all over you, on a nightly basis.”

“I do,” he confirmed, swigging his beer.

“I think you’re gonna have to share her with me,” she nodded, sipping her drink. “It’s only fair I get to take her home at least one night a week.”

“Yeah, and let me watch, damn!” Angel exclaimed.

“Oh no, there’ll be no pimping of my lady to you! You keep your pussy to yourself, B.”

“What if I save you a seat next to me for the viewing?” Angel asked, EZ pausing lifting the bottle to his lips, his grin suddenly widening.  

“I’ll give it some thought.” When Camille joined them, she found the whole thing hysterical when it was relayed to her, swiftly being asked for another private dance from the group, Gilly deciding he wanted one. For Amelia. She did wonder why none of the guys asked her for themselves, until it swiftly dawned on her that it was a respect thing, being that she was El Presidente’s girlfriend, of course they wouldn’t. Samuel and Jonah, the two newly patched in members of the MC were taken care of by Tallulah and Raven, though, Nestor finding himself led away by Mai for the same, who excused herself briefly to whisper in Camille’s ear.

“This dude I have here, is he single?”  

Camille nodded. “Oh yeah, and he has a big thing for Japanese chicks.”

Mai straightened, fluffing her hair, her grin suddenly wide. “Ding, ding, ding! Jackpot!” Thanks to the Santo Padre charter of the Mayans, the girls walked away with a very tidy wedge that night, Mai and Tallulah in particular, Bella and Amelia getting them to give their guys a dance each, too. When Angel sat back down beside his wife, it was all she could do not to pee her pants at the look on his face.  

“Happy, are we?” she asked, Angel grabbing her, pulling her onto his lap.

“I got me the hottest woman in here, and she’s cool with buying me a lap dance. Happy don’t quite cut it. Imma show you just how happy you make me as soon as we get back to the yard,” he vouched, Amelia suddenly leaning into their space.  

“Bathroom out for ten minutes again?”

He sneered playfully, prodding the end of her nose. “You’re just salty that it ain’t you I’m giving ten minutes of heaven to, Garcie.” They left at close to 10pm to continue the party back at the clubhouse, Camille able to duck out early since Mai was covering for her by staying on late. Once back, firepits were lit, drinks were poured, and more people piled in, Bella screaming in delight at the surprise that was her old friends from the salon arriving, racing to hug Bridgette, Gloria and Ruby in turn.  

“Shit, who's the tall black chick hugging your wife?" Nestor asked, Angel giving him a double take.  

“That’s Ruby,” he began, his grin widening. “And she’s a drag queen, bro.”

Nestor dropped his head for a second, quickly straightening with a thoughtful face. “Hm. Maybe Bella isn’t the only one wondering how bi she might be tonight.”  

Angel blew out a mouthful of beer with the force of his laughter, doubling over, Nestor in fits at his reaction. “You horny, French braid bitch, shit.” It was a scene EZ witnessed, one that he was glad of, his brother seemingly over his dislike of Nestor enough to actually be welcoming of his place in the club more than he had been before. His attention was then distracted by another arrival, or more precisely, Angel’s loud, drunken reaction to it. “Marge! Marge is here!”

He had a huge soft spot for the diminutive redhead, getting to know her better when she’d called in the previous week after having car trouble, Camille telling her to take it down and get Bishop to look at it for her, who was the resident automotive genius. While waiting, she’d sat talking to the elder of the Reyes brothers, becoming just as fond of him as he was her.  

“Hello honey. Oh, that’s a very big hug,” she laughed as he ran to her and wrapped her in his arms, somewhat smushed against his chest. “Where’s wifey? I have a little gift for her.”  

Angel was touched by that gesture, only ever having met Bella once before, but obviously being told that the celebration she’d been invited to was also for her birthday as well as EZ’s news about the surgery. “Up here, come on.” Taking her hand, he led her back to where their little group was sitting at the front of the clubhouse, throwing himself down on the couch, Marge passing the gift bag to a delighted Bella, kissing her cheek.  

“Marge!” she exclaimed, pulling out a gorgeous, huge jar candle from the bag, opening it up and giving it a sniff. “Oh, that smells beautiful! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, honey,” she nodded, moving to greet EZ.  

“Hey, ma,” he chirped, standing to hug her, Marge touched by his use of the term ma to refer to her as. “No John?”

“No, sweetheart. He has a migraine, but he sends this for you.” Opening her bag, she pulled out a bottle of Casamigos Blanco, EZ’s favourite tequila. “And I am instructed to do shots with you, so go fetch some glasses.”

“No need,” he began, before calling out to Anton, the newest hopeful looking to join the ranks of the MC. “Hey, prospect! Shot glasses!”  

Marge turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “It’s good being king, huh?”  

He grinned, wrapping his arm around her. “It’s never dull, I’ll give you that.” Shortly after, they were joined by Camille and Amelia, who’d been locked in conversation with Gloria, who coincidentally Camille knew from beauty school, Gloria a former part-time tutor there on the hairdressing course, the women often crossing paths while the former was training to be a beautician.  

As he sat back, doing shots with his girlfriend and her mother, the party in full swing, EZ took a moment to pause as he watched it swirl around him. This Doctor Shepherd they’d found, well, she’d better be as good as she seemed, because no matter his past wobbles, his resignment to his fate, this was his life, and he loved it. He didn’t want to check out at thirty-five, no way.  

He had way too much good there to live for. All he needed now was to further cut out the bad.  

[kingofthewilderwest]

I like the new kids! Tom seems a mixture of Hiccup and Astrid, Jun isn’t a copy-paste Astrid and provides knowledge and myths beyond Viking history, Alex is a ray of sunshine who gives me aro/ace vibes, D’Angelo is unfortunately the weakest development wise in my opinion. I thought Eugene was obnoxious, but now he’s grown on me as that annoying, idiotic, comic relief brother carácter. I hate Buzzsaw. His motivations (?) are stupid. I like the parent cast, but I’m not a big fan of the dragon designs.

I also feel like some of the dialogue between the cast is forced and unnecessary, but I don’t mind the plot as much as I thought I would. Oh, also I’m starting to wonder if the realms are entrances to different worlds and not just supposed to be caves deep inside earth because they all have their own atmospheres and ecosystems. Plus doesn’t realms mean worlds? As in dragons are from a different world than humans originally, but the entrances are crossovers?

I enjoyed reading all this and I'm really happy to discuss things like this with other dragon nerds. I'm going to respond to topics with bullet points. Each one of these bullet points could be its own separate conversation. XD If anyone wants to keep babbling!

TNR Character Cast: Kids

The kids are good! I have appreciation for all, especially when considering their personality set-ups beyond the writer's execution. Each kid is built off good concepts.

Plus, the interests and beliefs each character has would allow for fascinating duo and team dynamics (did TNR do a better job handling it). For instance - Tom's impulsiveness contrasted with D'Angelo's rigidity and respect for regulations means the two have opposing values sets, the perfect set-up for interesting interactions.

I find Tom the weakest character concept because they bank too hard on the "Hiccup is Tom's ancestor" concept. Having your protagonist be a character who's conceptually copied off of your last protagonist, and where his main character conflict is a quest to find his ancestry (an external conflict as versus something that promotes internal character growth) is weak.

I love Jun's concept. She has tons of unrealized potential. *SHE* is set up with good character conflict. She has a mother who wants her to live in the practical world and a brother who doesn't share her interests, whereas Jun's greatest dreams and desires lie in mythology and mysticism. The fact that running into the dragons allows her to pursue her desires (against the desires of her mother, who's the head of the research facility) is way cool. And Jun being a voice for dragons in Chinese culture and the broader world of mythology makes great expansion to HTTYD-dom.

D'Angelo is a cinnamon roll, too good, too pure, to darling. The idea of a lawful good character and a character who has veterinarian knowledge is fantastic. I agree with you they haven't developed him as much as they should, especially the last few seasons. This holds true for all TNR characters, but especially D'Angelo.

Alex is a ray of sunshine in our hearts, but let's be clear: her character is one with fantastic darkness, too. That element helps make her refreshing. Like her saying, "Big business would exploit them [dragons], reducing them to a tiny column of profit margins on an ENDLESS SPREADSHEET OF DOOOOOOM."

I love Eugene because he's obnoxious! Give me all your obnoxious children! Give me your team tensions! His portrayal's a bit lame (and they partially intend that), but I can get down with the concept of a reincarnated wet rat pathetic Elvis Presley. I don't like how hard they've had him want to be leader (or the idea of "we need a leader" in this group at all). Also, I never am a fan of making a character be only comic relief. I want them to give Eugene serious and heartfelt moments, too.

The adult cast: Buzzsaw is so annoying he makes me wish Mildew were back. I do not like what they're doing with his character arc. Let's also bring up the angering stupidity of Evil Science Lady. In what world do scientists act like catty ten-year-olds? Please drop her into the abyss and forget she appeared on the show. Lots of the adult cast I have less attachment to, but their concepts are fine, and I like that we're following both a kid group and an adult group.

The dialogue is extremely poor in TNR. Agree with ya. I'm also in the same boat with you about plot: it's not something I care for, but I'm not offended by it as some people are (some things in S4 went over my very lenient allowances, though). I'm fine to chill and let things be as they are. Just sit back and get more Dragons content.

As far as entrances to other worlds: yes, that could be one explanation, especially banking on the underlying Norse concept of nine realms... but one of the things that's a hallmark of HTTYD has been its underlying realism. It's a world where dragons fill ecological roles and you can observe their evolutionary adaptations to survive in the world. HTTYD hasn't been a story of magical portals or other fantasy-driven elements. Ergo, having realms be literal would be stepping outside the worldbuilding boundaries we've had since the first movie, in my opinion. It'd be a way cool concept in a fanfic, but not something that I'd want to see in my official lore. Especially given the heavy focus on environmental adaptations to our world.

[scarr-stuff]

That Didn't Work For Me . . .

This year, I DNF'd more books than previous years. And I'm proud of myself for that! However, based on how many books I finished but didn't enjoy, I would like to see more DNFing in 2023.

As far as books that didn't work for me - some of these are just books I did not like, and some are books I personally think have problematic messaging. If you enjoyed any or all of these books that’s okay! We should have different tastes and preferences. Also, reading journeys (should) change your opinions about books you've previously read. There are many books I read years ago that I loved and raved about but if I were to read them now, I likely would not have the same opinion - for a variety of reasons. And there are books you just like regardless of your growth as a reader, and that is okay, too. By the Hour by Roni Loren - this is by far the biggest offender I read this year and I will never, ever read another book by this author. I disagree with the messages of the book. (context, the MMC worked as an escort for years but no longer is one when the mc's meet. He now works as a sex surrogate for patients). Anyway the FMC did not respect the MMC's surrogacy job until he was physically assaulted during a session with a patient. Another issues is how the book seems to say sex workers are only doing sw until they find something better and we should encourage them to pursue other careers effectively removing their agency. On top of that is the MMC's shitty understanding of consent - which is weird considering he is supposedly used to frequent sex clubs and is "in" the BDSM lifestyle.

This genre is often hostile to sex work/ers and kinksters - dehumanizing these people by using them and their lifestyles as props for "spicy" content. Like, these are real people and in the case of sw'ers, a group so marginalized that, at best, people find them and the work they do distasteful and, at worst, morally reprehensible and unworthy of their humanity. There are authors who can write these experiences really well, and those are the ones I will read. In 2023, I pledge to no longer read books that do not take seriously the rights and humanity of sex workers. Sustained by Emma Chase - this was an example of folks I follow loving something (it has to be nostalgia!) and me hating it lol. From the get-go, I knew this book wasn't for me. The MMC was a douche and all the friends were mean. I should have dnf’d this! Alas I am a coward. Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole - I have read 4 books in this series and none of them worked for me. I read Hunger Like No Other years ago and despised it so much I never went back. And it wasn't just the non-consent for me, it was the bad writing. Last year and this year I decided to give the series another go. Although the books I read were better than HLNO, they weren't good. I think Kresley's writing doesn't work for me as I've tried to read books by her outside of IAD and had a similar experience. I own Dark Desires After Dusk so I'm gonna try it; but if it doesn't work for me, I will abandon this series for good. A Twitter friend said this series is on life support lol and after only 4 books read, I agree.

Rock Hard by Nalini Singh - This was not great eek! The FMC has experienced trauma in her life and the mmc spends the entire book attempting to grift that trauma into getting his dick wet. I’ve read books where one MC has had similar traumatic experiences and the love interest doesn’t attempt to bang the trauma out of the person. So yea this just didn’t work for me.

Portrait of a Scotsman by Evie Dunmore - The MCs did not fit well together and they basically disliked one another so much that I just could not believe their pairing. I will say, the role-playing sex scene was very good.

The Dirty Duet by Laurelin Paige - as I said in my GR review for this duet, "these books were free of charge, but they were not good." Or they were not good for me! Rough sex with a virgin, bullying, rich people being mean, etc.

One Moment Please by Amy Daws - Amy Daws books are anti-abortion. In every book of hers I have read that included a pregnancy (always unplanned) the pregnant character ALWAYS makes a point to stress they would NEVER, EVER have an abortion. I’ve read several of her books and I have no excuse for continuing to read even though I knew better.

Dominic by Elizabeth Amber - The book has two novellas and both were not great. The magical system didn't make sense and the sex throughout was non-consensual. I haven't read any of the other books and have no plan to. Also - the sexual language was laughable but like unintended - the woman in the first story referred to her vagina and butt as her nether throats ☠️☠️☠️

[blujayonthewing]

Previous anon here! I totally understand what you mean i have the same issue with my own ocs. So can I ask who's your oldesr oc (you've had the longest) and who's your favorite and why? :3c I wanna hear about them but it's hard to think of specific questions! Sidenote, you inspired me to start reblogging things as inspo for my own ocs!

OH I feel you, I'm the exact same way about not knowing what to specifically ask about other people's OCs lmao it's so hard to think of good questions!

My oldest (current) OC is my ranger, Elyss!! I've been playing her for coming up on EIGHT YEARS, which is admittedly not actually as much as it sounds because the run schedules for all the campaigns I'm in tend to be pretty sparse, ahaha :') She is also still my favorite, my beloved girl... 🥺💕 That's at least partly because I've been playing her for so long and for awhile she was my only dnd character, so I've had a lot of opportunity to think about her and play her and get to know her as a character.

She's a water genasi who was born and raised in a land where genasi are essentially unheard of, so she's spent most of her life fairly rejected and lonely. She ended up (voluntarily) living alone in the woods for something close to ten years, and she has a very nature-inspired True Neutral philosophy, so when we started the campaign with the premise of 'an established group of adventures trying to stop A Bad Guy from Taking Over The World' I had to figure out why she would care about that, and one of the answers was 'well... she loves her friends,' which has informed SO much about everything about her ever since. On a practical level, it means I get to engage with the game even if Elyss wouldn't necessarily want to (eg if the paladin wants to do a dangerous stupid thing to save some villagers, I want to go with him to help keep him safe), but it's also made her really interesting and really emotionally rewarding to roleplay with. I'm fortunate in that all my fellow players in her campaign are amazing AND Elyss has meaningful relationships with most of their characters, so I've been able to explore her navigating those relationships and her own feelings... at the beginning of the campaign, she felt really strongly that her love for her companions was completely one-sided, so had a lot of Issues about needing to be unambiguously useful and never a liability to avoid rejection and losing her right to be a part of the group. Unfortunately the circumstances of this campaign have given her... really severe trust issues to the point of sometimes paralyzing paranoia, BUT she DOES now believe that (most of) her close friends actually care about her in return, so, that's something :') I guess tl;dr without explaining the entire campaign and her entire personal development, she just has a lot of complex feelings and life circumstances that are not only interesting to play and think about but that also just... make me wish for the best for her. She's had a really hard time, so it fills me with joy whenever she gets a little reprieve, I'm overwhelmed on her behalf when things are inevitably really bad for her again, and I'm deeply invested in her path toward hope and growth and a happier, more stable future 🥺💕

All that said, I've gotten to play her a lot less lately, and while she's still my favorite, the margin isn't as wide as it used to be, lol. But I dunno if I could put a finger on the definitive second favorite? It depends on who I've played and/or have been obsessing over the most recently I think, lol. Right at this second that feels like a tossup between Juniper, my druid, and Melliwyk, my wizard; I'm not gonna do another wall of text for each of them for this ask BUT-- June is basically the character archetype I have the softest spot for (sweetheart, awkward, big ol nerd) and I wanna kiss her and give her soup, and Mel is a DIFFERENT archetype I tend to be drawn to (mad science type friendly little wierdo) but she has also developed depth that I wasn't expecting and now I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about HER as well. Also, June gives me a good outlet for a lot of soft tenderness, Mel is a good outlet for me in real life being a big fuckin nerd, and Elyss is my single best outlet for just. really loving to be really good at DPS when I'm playing a game kjhkdfhjd

[kait16xo]

Dance Moms: A New Era: Thoughts (Episode 9).

Finally got access to my friend’s hulu to watch DMANE bc the other site just WON’T run properly and I’m sick of it. So finally I’ll be able to watch these last 2 eps so I can finally see if I’ll enjoy the nationals dances.

As always, spoilers under the cut! :-)

* As soon as I realized they were doing Heartstopper I was already excited for this ep lol

* Also nationals is near my home turf! I’m a West Palm baby!

* She keeps shitting on Pennsylvania like it’s not right smack dab next to New York…like girl

* Audrey is good too, Glo is just pulling an Abby and blowing smoke up Gina’s butt (I hate saying ass about a child ik that’s not the quote).

* Ashlan reminds me of that one meme with the blue eyed dachshund and the one comment was like “get him some contacts omg” LOL. She’s so pretty but it makes me giggle how much she stands out in a sea of brown eyes

* Mina got top of the pyramid above Gina? Go girl

* I just know as soon as Audrey stepped forward Leilah and Bellatrix were relieved

* “It’s about two girls in love” close enough welcome back Heartstopper

* Lily and Smiley got so excited to be lovers and idk why that made me giggle. But they really deserve something special

* “Ashlan is our best shot at winning (over Lily and Smiley)” girl…I don’t hate Ashlan but this is not it

* Mina losing a tooth during dance rehearsal…real

* I was really thinking explosions in the sky was gonna be a Palestine dance 😶. Then again this show would’ve got pulled in record time for that bc Hollywood sucks

* Gina getting corrections not clickbait??

* Leave it to Roxce and Jing to turn a civil disagreement up to 11 lol

* These episodes go by so fast. I SWEAR rehearsals were longer in the original dance moms (by a small margin but still)

* Ashlan being a swing is a really interesting choice, but given she’s the only other one not in the small group it adds up. It’d be cool if she rose to the occasion technically

* “Ashlan’s only got one shot” that was not the phrase you wanted to say in this room of moms LOL

* Min and Leslie have been MAD quiet this episode. ESPECIALLY MIN (I know she says stuff later but I’m shocked).

* So the ads are running and the first one was a fucking republican ad 💀 this is why I didn’t watch it on hulu

* “Do the best 😁” “yeah 😐 “

* Welcome to the tummy ache game Smiley. We got tums, hot baths, and heating pads. I mean I know she has an anxiety stomach ache but still…shit sucks

* Smiley 🤝 Paige: building “comfortable mansions” on the bottom of the pyramid

* *kiss* “we have a lot of chemistry!” THEY WERE GIRLS TOGETHER 😭

* I feel bad for smiley but Ashlan and Lilly look better together

* “I gotta picture her as my dog bc I love my dog so much” sounds like something my friend would say lol

* It’s so cool to see the plane footage! We never saw OG dance moms do this and it would’ve been so cool

* I love seeing everyone at the beach having fun! I think this is actually the same beach from s2 of dance moms but don’t quote me on it

* LESBIAN TWINS? 😭 insane fucking phrase I’m cackling

* Stop doing this in front of the kids challenge (impossible)

* Roxce being the one to pull Smiley out of the drama is insane. Talk about character growth

* “Ashlan’s gonna walk out of that room too bc she can’t handle it” *cuts to her being unbothered as fuck, drink in hand*

* I think Lilly and Ashlan are really good together. I hope they have a duet soon!

* Maybe it’s because it wasn’t the full dance but where tf was the “bullying” from the non-leads? If anything only Ashlan and Lilly really resonated with me

* Can a dancer explain to me why Glo is harping on Ashlan? She did fine to me

* Gina was very big for vocalizing her feelings to Audrey. She’s a good kid

* I can see why people don’t like Audrey now…there’s just some stuff you don’t say out loud

* That angle…how tf were we supposed to see Leilah messing up??

* Audrey and Gina are both so stunning to watch. Their faces and technique are chef’s kiss. I especially couldn’t take my eyes off of Audrey

* If Heartstopper was one entry number higher that would’ve been so unfortunately orchestrated

* How is Leilah messing up going to hurt Audrey? Girl she was incredible

* 2nd? 😭 well now I wanna see Heavenly Bodies bc damn

* Ohh jeez Leilah was traveling bad. Poor girl

* Audrey let you down? Girl you’re just looking for excuses to be mad Abby Jr.

* “I don’t have a lead for nationals” so let me get this straight DUMBASS-

* Ooh the body bag reveal! I’m so excited I’m sorry

* Actually no Ashlan’s valid as fuck for crying here. Idk what was going through her head but seeing a body bag prop? She’s valid and I better not see people get on her case for that

[dankusner]

SHITTY SAYINGS

At the end of the day

"Well, if that doesn't just put the plastic hip joint in the soup tureen."

Be that as it may

Best practices.

Value-added.

"Stretch goal", also an office expression. It means "something there's no way in hell we think you can do, but we're going to tacitly disapprove of you if you fail, as we know you will.

Reach out

Impactful — the kind of word that makes me lose all respect for the person using it

The “optics"."

“My truth."

• Robust • World Class • Artisan • Farm-to-table

"What kind of protein would you like?"

Plant-based

"Best," — as an email sign-off.

Living my best life

I axxed you a question.

Living the dream

Lots to unpack here

Let me explain without getting into the weeds

Make sense?

I appreciate you.

Lets throw some ideas against the wall and see what sticks.

Unalived — instead of committed suicide.

‘Open Concept’

I haven't got the spoons for things that are not on my docket or in my wheelhouse.

Let's circle back on that later.

Spendy.

I listen to voters on Main Street — not Wall Street

They share three children together

Fur babies

Let’s socialize that with the team.

Granularity

• Let's circle back… • To button this up… • Piggy-backing on what you said earlier…

Fresh, cracked pepper

That said.

"I fonted this"

"That's your opinion." (Inevitably heard from a person who cannot comprehend and does not care in the least about empirical evidence or logical proofs.)

"whatnot."

Bone broth.

Am I right? Or am I wrong?

"Growth mindset"

"hot take"

"Goodbye" rather than "God be with you."

"Welcome in" which is an Americanism of "Wilkommen" in every Starbucks I visit lately. Kind of fake.

“Can I help who’s next?”

I love that for you.

• vicissitudes • supercilious • pusillanimous

"Let's re-visit that at our next meeting…" (meaning: forget about it)

"I say that to say this…"

Narrative

It's what you make of it!

"…and all that good stuff"

'The math ain't mathin'"

Fucked around and found out Play stupid games, win stupid prizes Adulting

Wash that rat's nest you call hair Ratty weave

"Do you have the bandwidth?"

Flustrated like a combo of frustrated and flustered

taters maters sammich meemaw

puppers, doggos

the Squad Got The Memo, SQMBO.

Baby daddy Baby mama

“I was today years old when…”.

"nom noms"

"by the short and curlies"

'Spot on'

Sleeps, as in- Four more sleeps til vaycay!

Black Girl Magic

Moist Panties

Brekkie for breakfast.

"London-based author," "Paris-based architect," "Sydney-based financial advisor," "Beirut-based activist," and so on have always been common ways to describe people in

“Bricked up” for having an erection

“Thinking Outside the box.”

"Breaks his / her silence". Journalists love to use this - pretending something earth-shattering was revealed in the interview but, alas, nothing is.

I know dat's right. You know I'm sayin'?

"Let me speak my truth". pronouncing important as imPORDindt

"Don't take this the wrong way but…"

"With all due respect…"

"It's been a minute."

toxic narcisstic gaslight

"ripped of the Band-aid"

“It’s a bop”.

Referring to a husband as "hubs" or "the hubster."

Husbear

"Criming," "crimed," or "crimer" Make it stop, it's criminal.

Monoculture.

Bricked: why you showing your meat like that, you got me all bricked up

“Dope” - When used as an adjective to mean cool, awesome, great.

I can take her in very small doses. I no longer meet her for dinner or lunch - now it's a quick coffee at Dunkin or Starbucks. After 15 minutes of "like" my head starts spinning.

"Y'know what I'm saying?" after every sentence.

Income inequality Empowerment Center Natural hair Marginalized communities Transphobia Diversity roleplay Sexual surrogate Person of size Dietary preference

I will admit I’ve put the phrase “just so you know” back in rotation. Best said with slightly downcast side eye and a little smirk. Well, that’s when it ends a sentence. When I use it at the beginning, it’s broken up with a questioning sound. (“Just so you know?…. Matt isn’t here tonight?… So, you can slide your syphilitic hose hole back home.”)

Bless you,

Mafuckin slaty

Holding space

res ipsa loquitur means "the thing speaks for itself."

No 'there' there.

It was startling way back when Gertrude Stein wrote it about Oakland, but these days it's way overused (a cliché of travel writing). As well as misunderstood: [quote]Stein's most famous line is always used to say something which she never intended. “There's no there there” meant no insult to the old hometown. It was simply an expression of painful nostalgia. Stein lived in Oakland from age six to 17—crucial years in a child's life. [quote]Ever since Gertrude Stein wrote of Oakland, "there is no there there," people have used this quote to condemn the city. But taking a closer look at the quote and the context in which it was written, we can see it is an expression of "painful nostalgia" and not of disdain or insult to Oakland. Let's take a closer look at this famous quote and how it relates to the artists interviewed in Oakland in Popular Memory putting a new "there" in Oakland.

“Cohort” in a business setting. Suddenly it’s everywhere.

"We're loving the new __"

"We need to be mindful of…." Ugh.

Queen Bey

I feel validated and seen by you,

level-up — 

bespoke

[rawwkfingers]

Planet of the Spiders

Wow, what a way to go. I think, if I hadn't already seen the regeneration scene a few times in various compilations so was already aware of it, this would have been the second time Classic Who made me cry

While I don't think you could say this was the best written of Pertwee's serials, it was a perfect fit for everything that I enjoy in movies and tv from this time period. The show's first serious deep-dive into the New Age movement (elements of which had been touched on in past serials but never to this degree) combined with a pulpy scifi planet and some absolute peak 70s fashion (I never found Yates attractive until this serial showed him in civilian clothes but damn he's hot)

Unfortunately, all that good also comes with some extreme bad; namely the racism and ableism inherent in so much fiction of this time. The yellow-face Choje was a horrific stereotype and the way that they referred to Tommy as being "fixed" once his mental disability was magically erased was so incredibly offensive. Its a shame that Pertwee's final serial ended with so many negative elements because his era was, largely, the most progressive in Classic Who so far

Sarah Jane was in top form though. I love that her job is always relevant whenever we have a story set on Earth. It's one of those little touches of writing that does so much for a story; it's a tool to get her into places she otherwise wouldn't have access to and it's a way to help move the plot forward without needing to come up with a reason why UNIT is involved. I loved Jo but it took awhile for that love to grow; Sarah Jane is truly shining right from the get go and I am loving it

I'm really sad to see Pertwee go. While I'm sure I'll love the future Doctors, there's certainly an energy to his performance that no other actor matches. He reminded me a lot of Capaldi, who is my favorite Doctor as a whole by a HUGE margin, so that's high praise. He was kind and charming when needed but he never took shit from the bureaucratic nonsense he so often had to deal with. I love that his Doctor was the first to really begin selling the pacifist nature of the character. Having his final moments be begging the "Great One" to stop her plan, not because it was evil but because it would result in her death, was the best possible way for his character to go

Ranking his companions is made easy by the fact that I'm not counting Sarah Jane since her story isn't over yet

Jo Grant. As I said before, it took a while for me to love Jo but I really, truly did by the end of her run. Her departure was one of the saddest moments in Classic so far (and from what I've seen online, in general.) To me, she began as another Susan surrogate, written mainly to be a screaming damsel with some hints of a parental nature in her relationship with the Doctor but not given much room to explore. But they actually put the work in to show how she grew in her time with the Doctor, so that when she finally left you really felt like this was where her story would always go. I love her and I'll miss her so much

Liz Shaw. It's a shame that she only got one season because the writing team proved with Jo that they knew what they were doing with long-term character growth. I'd have loved to see where they took the scientist, arguably the first companion the Doctor took seriously and treated as an equal, if she'd been given more time. But, unfortunately, that's not what we got. That isn't to say she was bad though. Liz was fantastic, it's just that she never stood a chance compared to a character who was on the show three times as long as she was

My season 11 ranking:

Invasion of the Dinosaurs. Just, one of the best episodes of Doctor Who ever imo. Unlike Silurians, which I also say is one of the best, I hesitate to say this one is a piece of scifi because its so specifically Doctor Who. Silurians could have come from any scifi mag, but you couldn't get a story like Dinosaurs anywhere else

Planet of the Spiders. A really fantastic sendoff to my favorite Classic Doctor (so far) and also my third favorite of all time (so far.) It really *felt* like a story made in the 70s, both good and bad

The Monster of Peladon. Had lots of things that I loved, but also lots of things that felt cliche and predictable. Perfect for a story in the middle ranking I guess

The Time Warrior. Had some good moments, but the historical writing is just bad in Classic Who and was a huge detriment to what could have been a great introduction to the Sontarans

Death to the Daleks. I just don't like when Daleks are used in comedy, sorry :(

[mr880fan]

A Prayer to Yield to God's Sanctification - Your Daily Prayer - August 10

A Prayer to Yield to God’s Sanctification By Emily Rose Massey “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6, ESV I have always been a list maker fueled by accomplishment. At some point, being successful and driven became the meaning behind every breath I took; I found purpose in my performance and productivity. I loved the high from “the hustle” and having my schedule full to the brim. I spent years upon year upon years crowding the margins of my existence, seeking this feeling of accomplishment. This vicious cycle of constant hustle was all I knew for well over 20 years of my life. I still wrestle with the temptation to find my worth in my productivity and seek my happiness when everything is “perfect.” I am what you may call a recovering “Type A” person. That is an exhausting way to live, and if you are not careful, this mentality will creep into your spiritual life, and soon you will be trying to work to earn God’s favor and love. Have you ever experienced these thoughts regarding your walk with God? I didn’t pray enough today. I haven’t read my Bible in over a week! Man, why can’t I get over this sin?! I am such a failure! Am I even saved? But as Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us, we know that we cannot earn our salvation because it is a gift from God: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.” And just as God is sovereign in salvation, He is also sovereign in our sanctification as we learn to partner with Him in our growth in Christ. He is the one in charge of maturing our walk with Him. The same grace that saved us is the very same grace that keeps us and molds us into the image of Christ each new day. From the moment of conversion, we become God’s work-in-progress, and the greatest news of all is that He doesn’t grow weary, stressed, or exhausted with us. He will complete the work He began in us! That is why I love this encouragement from the Apostle Paul in Philippians 1: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6, ESV Our salvation has been gifted to you for the sake of Christ, for His glory, not ours. The gift of having faith in Jesus? God began that work! And if God starts it, God finishes it. We need to lean on His strength and grace and ask for wisdom to walk in obedience. The Holy Spirit is our Helper and will help you walk in God’s will. We don’t have to muster our faith muscles to see that happen. We need to trust God’s plan will be accomplished, not because there is anything good in us, but because of His goodness and faithfulness! If you struggle to earn God’s love and forgiveness, run to the throne of grace and ask the Lord to remind your heart of His steadfastness and faithfulness in your life. You are safe in His hand and promise never to lose any of His own and sanctify His children until our final day. Let’s pray: Heavenly Father, Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to earth to live the perfect life for me, to fulfill the law completely. I trust that His death on the cross paid for my punishment of the curse of the law that I will never be able to uphold. I come boldly to the throne of grace today and receive new mercies that Christ died for me to have. Help me lean upon Your strength and grace today and see the work that You started in me continue until Your glorious return or when I meet You face to face. I trust that You are working in my heart and life and conforming me into the image of Christ day by day. Help me yield to it to Your sanctification. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/green aperture

Emily Massey began writing short stories and poetry as a little girl, entered the blogging world in her early 20s, and published her first book in 2015. She enjoys being a stay-at-home momma while still being able to pursue her passion as a writer. Believing she has been forgiven much, she loves much and desires to point others to Christ and His redemptive and transforming power, especially by sharing the truth found in God’s written Word. If you would like to connect with Emily, you can visit www.emilyrosemassey.com Teach Us to Pray is a FREE prayer podcast hosted by iBelieve writer Christina Patterson. Each week, she gives you practical, real-life tips on how to grow your faith and relationship with God through the power of prayer. To listen to her episode on What to Pray in the Morning for a Worry-Free Day, click below!

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[heliza24]

Blue is so smart and this is so well crafted that I just needed to pull out some of my favorite parts to talk about them:

I don’t think Lisa is necessarily saying that August shouldn’t be punished or face consequences for his crime. But I do think she’s being very clear that a retributive justice philosophy is going to hit marginalized people without the resources to defend themselves—people like Simon—a lot harder. And that opens up the question of where we’re supposed to find catharsis. Can we really exhale at the image of jail cell doors clanging shut, knowing that this same legal system can come for Simon using the same tools?

I'm so glad that Blue is talking about this. Sometimes the fandom can get so wrapped up in wanting to see August punished that we ignore the realities of what will mean for Simon as a working class Brown kid. I like that the plot at the end of season 2 explicitly linked their fates through the justice system. It means we cannot root for an outcome for one character without considering the other.

After all, we can accept that although Simon loves Wilhelm very much, Simon’s efforts alone weren’t enough to fully dislodge Wilhelm from his place of privilege. Wilhelm needed Boris and therapy, and a mom who made him go to therapy (Kristina often does more harm than good, but her making Wilhelm go to therapy is the broken clock being right twice a day), and Felice as a friend and confidant, and Nils as a different sort of confidant, and a literature teacher like Fröken Ramirez who’s assigning him books with queer representation. Wilhelm’s journey is still ongoing. Romantic love may be transformative, but individuals in love don’t change people on their own. Communities change people. I am an aromantic relationship anarchist and I will die on this hill.

It is SO important to recognize that Simon isn't be responsible for Wilhelm's growth, nor Sara for August's. I love the idea that Wilhelm needs multiple catalysts for growth, and I think it's really revolutionary to see a member of the royal family reaching for community support in this way. The farther away Wilhelm gets away from the values of the Society-- the insular group that protects its members through silence and represents the Swedish upper class system at large-- the healthier he's going to be.

Also I will be dying on that aro hill along with Blue.

all the fancy plaques about responsibility, the students use their privilege and power to avoid doing what’s right and keep the status quo going. This is who they are. This is what they are going to have to overcome to be ethical humans who make their world better.

It is so! important! that we don't excuse the privileged students of Hillerska. They are all a part of this messed up system.

Speaking of the Eriksson siblings, I want Sara and Simon to have a chance to repair their relationship and build it anew. This would be another point of catharsis for me. I’ve seen a lot of people saying “Sara needs to do xyz tasks…” like we’re in a confession booth and a certain number of Hail Marys will save the day, but step one is that Sara and Simon just need to start communicating again, and communicating honestly. I think it’s easy to point to August as being the root of their relationship struggles, but there were a lot of unspoken tensions between the Eriksson siblings long before he entered the chat.

This is my number one wish for Season 3!!

Philosophies of Justice and Narrative Catharsis in Young Royals

Do you ever just have… conversations with yourself at 2 am?

Me: Wow. August did some bad shit. I want him to get therapy and help, but I also want him to face some kinda legal punishment.

Also me: Oh, self. You don’t trust cops or judges or prisons. The legal system would be way harsher on Simon about the drugs. Doesn’t that give you anxiety?

A third me, thousands of words in and possessed by a hyperfocus demon: Well fuck. We might be doing a meta about it. It’s okay, this can just be building blocks for our graduate school thesis on YA literature. Ahaha it’s fine.

The following meta looks at philosophies of justice, both retributive and restorative, as they appear in the worldbuilding Young Royals. This is a monster of a meta, like ~6500 words long, so be aware of that going in. Content note for discussion of all the usual crime topics in YR, as well as the injustices present in real world legal systems.

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