#going partially inactive

[tw1nkee28]

Probably won't be posting much for a little bit, just to let you all know instead of disappearing randomly. I might post every once in a while, but Im not feeling too good rn and motivations running low so there won't be many art pieces for a bit.

Also won't be active much / at all on the tsp creator club server for a little while, gonna be taking a small break for myself. If you need me, feel free to dm me or @ me if you need anything.

Love you all, I'll try to post as soon as possible <3

[iamthescalesofjustice]

an eclectic group of wardens trying to figure out why they arent being swayed by the calling all the other wardens are getting and figuring out they were all joined either with the substitute archdemon blood from soldiers peak or by this one specific guy who apparently may not even be a warden. and then once anders meets up with them he hears this and gets visibly five times more exhausted and then he opens his mouth to finally start laying out the surana deep lore he has pieced together and well, its good news and bad news.

[feydrautha]

Idk how many people still go on unfollowing sprees (as in 'i follow too many blogs, it's driving me nuts and im gonna need to let some people go') but i hope that if they follow me and they see my little icon, my username, and when i last updated, even if they might not recognise me because of my icon or because i had a different URL when they first followed me, even if they dont remember since when they follow me, that they go ":) oh, i like her presence on my dashboard, she can stay" and continue scrolling

[littleogreboii]

i see a lot of people talk about edward being disabled in fma, but it's less often talked about how alphonse is also disabled. i think it's partially because alphonse doesn't experience physical pain like edward so for a majority of the series, he's not having any of those kind of symptoms, but he is still disabled. also because alphonse's experiences are unique. like you don't see ant walking, talking suits of armour in real life (unless they're piloted by a human being physically inside them) and in world, there are about 3 others like alphonse).

alphonse is dependent on edward's survival to function. after fighting scar for the first time, alphonse is literally in pieces. he can't walk or anything until edward is in a position to fix him. similarly his body is dependent on nutrients from edward's body. like there's the point towards the end where edward gets impaled and alphonse collapses. furthermore, these periods where alphonse collapses start to become debilitating towards the end of the series and massively alter his daily living.

also, alphonse constantly talks about how upsetting it is for him to not feel any physical sensations. yeah, he's not feeling physical pain, but he's also not feeling the warmth of a fire, the sun on his face, or the fluffiness of the cats he keeps petting. he talks a lot about not being able to eat or sleep, and how there's a lot of foods he wants to try.

there's another thing that highlighted by edward at one point. alphonse's body doesn't regenerate at all. the parts scar destroys are gone forever; edward stretches out the metal that alphonse has left to repair his body. and obviously human beings don't regrow limbs, but imagine if your skin didn't ever heal over a cut. how long would your body last?

also alphonse gets told several times that his body is great throughout the series, and he literally argues against it every time, because to him it is shit. like he is missing some of his senses just for some supposedly immortal body that isn't even immortal.

even once alphonse gets his own body back, the amount of physical therapy the boy has to go through. his body has essentially been doing nothing and only receiving what nutrients it can get from edward for years. by the end of the series, he's still using a cane as a walking aid. it's unknown whether he requires that cane for the years to come, but for at least a period of time he requires a mobility aid. I don't know enough to say what effect muscle decay from inactivity and severe malnourishment during a major portion of his teenage years would have long term.

[allisonlol]

chuuya dazai and fyodor when reader tries to remove the hickies they gave reader the next day OHKYIGOAHSS

a/n: hiii everyone i have crawled out of my void to offer you this post !! ty to the anon who came up with this wonderful idea. i've missed posting omg and we somehow are so close to 3k despite my inactivity??? slay. shall open reqs again once we get there mwehehe

warnings: slight nsfw

(Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor) When You Try to Remove Hickeys

Chuuya

he's gonna be the most chill about this tbh

it's your body and if you don't want ppl seeing that on you then that's ur choice!!

however

hiding them is one thing, but that doesn't mean he wants to see you removing them

so yknow that hack where you take a whisk and like,,,twist it over the mark to get rid of it?

yeah so you tried that...and it was actually working until chuuya barged into the room and demanded to know what you were doing

bro is not happy to see the hickies he'd proudly left on you last night being somehow removed by a WHISK

grabs that mf thing and throws it across the room

chuuya's not angry at you, more so frustrated and insecure?? cuz like why would u wanna get rid of them

he's lowkey gonna start pouting tbh. won't say anything else but will glare & give u silent treatment

won't stop until you admit the only reason u removed them is because it was too visible with your work uniform and u didn't want everyone staring smh

insist that he should give you more in areas that people won't see and there's no guarantee y'all won't be late to work <3

Dazai

oh lord

so dazai really loves to mark you up

and last night was no different. your neck was black and blue with hickies

deadass to the point where you nearly had a heart attack when you saw it in the morning

"how am i gonna go to work like this?!" you practically sob to him while he LAUGHS

his only advice is "then don't go" as if both of y'all don't need to have ur asses at the agency in 20 minutes

you check ur phone for the time and when u see this you panic and sprint to your shared bedroom

you try everything you can think of to cover them

first you hastily layer concealer on your neck, to no avail as the marks were too dark

then digging through ur closet for clothes with a high enough neckline to hide it, to which you found none

whole time dazai is leaning against the doorframe, watching ur meltdown with an amused expression

he approaches and helps u up from the floor where u had collapsed with all the clothes strewn around you ☹️

"allow me to pick out something for you to wear" ….oh god

u guys are beyond late at this point so you sigh and accept defeat, to which dazai picks a shirt that of course displays all the marks on your neck

you got lots of stares that day to say the least

Fyodor

surprisingly fyodor doesn't usually leave too many marks on you to begin with

he's got that old fashioned take where it's like "other people don't need to see that and be in our business" if u know what i mean

however, he is also a very possessive man

^so when he gets worked up and does leave hickeys on you, the last thing he wants to see is you trying to hide or remove them

which is exactly what he walked in on u doing today

you were trying the good old "rub an ice cube on it" hack before u had to work

now this mf thinks you have some hidden agenda as to why you wanted them gone

"are you seeing someone else" 💀💀

PLS u didn't realize he had been watching from the doorway and this scares u so bad u drop the ice cube down ur shirt

u start frantically trying to get it out of ur shirt while yelling at him like "i have to work, wtf are u talking about???"

u immediately stop tho when he storms up to u and grabs your face to make you look at him

his face is so cold and unreadable omg it's scary

his eyes shift to the marks on your neck as he traces over them with his fingers

"leave these alone" he says lowly, then adjusts the collar of your shirt so they are partially covered

neither of u will say anything more about it after that, but fyodor sends sigma to secretly follow u to work to make sure that's where ur really going 😓

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @mianqo

[guided-by-stars]

One of the aspects of the systems of belief established in ISAT that makes it so fascinating to examine is that they are are centered around praxes that aren’t focused on as much in the major religions in our world.

Much has been said about how the Change belief encourages self-exploration, (transness is seen as holy, exploration of identity is encouraged) and pressures those who don’t want to change who they are (Mirabelle). The underlying core of the Change belief is action. Active Choice is more encouraged than anything else. The choice to change your body, the choice to change yourself, the choice to change your circumstances, the choice to go on a pilgrimage, the choice to learn new skills, etc. Of course passive change is also celebrated- death is seen as just another Change, and I assume that would apply to aging in general (appreciation of elders?), but it’s not as pushed. In this way, the Change belief encourages autonomy, control over your own life, and ownership of your life circumstances.

On the other hand, those who believe in the Universe as a force of power in the world are faced with the opposite pressure. When the King and Siffrin are relating for the first time over their shared culture, they both remember the phrase “The Universe leads, we can only follow.” The underlying core of their belief is that what is fated must happen, it’s inaction. Passivity. Any drastic action that is taken is justified by it being a path the Universe led them on. When the King starts the battle, he says “Let’s see which side the Universe favors!” Whoever ultimately wins at the end was fated to win, and that could never have been changed. It’s about resignation, acceptance.

This ultimately impacts everything about how the story plays out. When Siffrin first realizes he’s in a time loop, he’s excited! The Universe has given him the power to change things! He’s being led on a path where he can protect his friends and make sure everything is alright! They’re fated to win! As the futility of his quest sets in though, he very quickly turns to resignation instead. What’s the point of getting upset over having to die again and again? There’s nothing he can do about it. The Universe leads and he can only follow. If anyone else was the one looping, they would probably react quite differently just due to that.

However, it’s more complex than just that. What about Wish Craft? Isn’t that purely about taking action, making a Change? Well, partially, but because of the culture that everyone who knows about Wish Craft is part of, it’s seen more as appealing to the Universe. Asking, pleading, for the current to bring you down the left stream instead of the right in the fork in the waters. If you gain something from Wish Craft, you were given it, you didn’t take it. Once again, it’s passive. If Wish Craft was a Vaugardian thing, it would certainly be seen differently.

If the Change belief’s focus on action encourages autonomy, control over one’s life, and free will, what does that say about the Universes resignation and acceptance? Once again, I’m reminded of Euphrasie repeating words as if she’s prerecorded, skipping like grooves on a well-worn CD.

There’s also something to be said about how, in the Change religion, they appeal to a deity, one that you can have a personal and positive relationship with, and those who believe in the Universe are believing in an unfeeling force of nature. None of this is to say either is more beneficial than the other, the pressure to always Change can be extremely destructive, and sometimes acceptance is much better than change. It’s just fascinating how much they come into conflict with each other.

[transgendz]

Okay, so I'm not calling out the OP of the post bc I firmly believe in assuming good intentions, but there's a post going around with over 150,000 notes that just. When you know how misinformative it is, it really comes across badly.

Okay, so I went through the notes and check the subs out some and this is a breakdown of every sub on the post, in the originally listed order. Just keep in mind comment farming is widely disallowed and if you're banned you're likely to be sent to the universal scammer sub.

/r/Assistance - requires 60 days of regular activity, 400+ comment karma required, 18+ user age requirement, one account per household

/r/legaladvice - seemingly run by cops who delete actually helpful legal advice

/r/Randomkindness - for gifts only, fundraising explicitly banned

/r/Charity - account must be 30 days old, 300+ comment karma required, primarily for charitable foundations as opposed to personal funding, no personal cashapp, paypool + gfm allowed

/r/care - email must be verified by reddit, account must be 6 months old, 100 karma required, financial and material requests require you to put your "city,state,country" on the post.

/r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza - request pizza every 3 months, account must be 90 days old, 400+ comment karma, 18+ user age restriction

/r/Food_Pantry - requesting food, no takeout or delivery (relavent for food deserts), account must be 180 days old, 500 comment karma required, 90 days of regular activity, explicitly bans fundraising

/r/RandomActsOfPetFood - request pet food once every month, account must be 90 days old, 500+ comment karma, 90 days of regular activity in multiple subreddits required, explicitly bans fundraising

/r/RandomActsOfChristmas - private for most of the year, Christmas gifts for children

/r/almosthomeless - explicitly bans fundraising

/r/homeless - explicitly bans fundraising

/r/freelance - no hiring or soliciting, no self promotion

/r/povertyfinance - explicitly bans fundraising

/r/thrify - advice specific

/r/borrow - PRIMARILY LOANSHARKS, no links/gfm, must post your city,state,country to request, account must be 90 days old, 1,000+ combined karma requirement, one request per household

/r/gofundme - crowdfinding sites only, 250+ comment karma required, account must be 90 days old

/r/depression - advice

/r/familysupport - inactive

/r/transitions - inactive

I've color coded the list, red for no assistance available, green for assistance offered, blue for food assistance, and white for ultra specific assistance. I'm sure this list is partially useful for very active reddit users. But some of these suggestions are just ridiculous.

So yeah, idk like don't be this kind of person, don't reblog this kind of shit without checking it out yourself. It's condescending.

[coffeegnomee]

This conversation with Mane has got me thinking about what it is about Spokeishere that made him such an incredible villain.

And I realized that Spoke never cared about player activity. That wasn't his main goal.

All his plots were around doing the plot with whomever was around, and usually, since it was server ending, he actively didn't want players to be active. (the cleansing is interesting and i'll get to it later)

Like, season 3 Spoke wanted to ban everyone off the server. And here was a PrinceZam actively trying to stop him. Spoke didn't care if everyone else gave up, that was the point. He wanted everyone to give up. But Zam would just NOT give up.

The finale therefore revolved around getting Zam in particular to give up, and trying to ban everyone else off the server.

Spoke needs players to care about his plots, but it's not about generalized player activity.

In s4, over the whole season, but specifically once he got the wormhole barrel on lifesteal, he started doing little stream events with each player that he could get to long on. Individually inviting them to be active.

Vortex and Mapicc hide and seek that won them wormhole items. (bro got vortexdragon to log on I mean come on) Going on Zam's stream and making poopies, bringing poopies to Bacon's streams and Planet's streams and making a playhouse for players to try and survive. Making Peepees the warden during Zam's fight with Mapicc partially on Mapicc's request, then making a maze for players to go through and survive. Joining Zam's stream to splash the po potion on him. Telling Planet to stream and showing off some of the wormhole items. Joining Zam's stream when Branzy logged on and giving Branzy the dolphin potion.

Just so many little events played with the members who already were active, or asking specific members to log on and doing something with them.

And that got a huge roster of members who were mildly aware of what was going on so as things ramped up they understood the context.

But it was never about getting people to care about the server again, he just created an environment where they had fun and therefore did care about the server.

And as the season approached its end, he told Parrot that if he and 3ht could survive the wormhole they would win.

And the people who were inactive who logged onto the event were presented with absolute chaos but it was clear they were opposing spoke so they naturally gravitated to asking Parrot what he needed and that got them involved.

The wormhole was a protect the president event, with clear sides. But if you didn't show up it didn't matter to Spoke. It was on 3ht and Parrot to convince people to help them, they would be hunted down regardless.

And that event showed just how good Spoke is at keeping an eye out on hopelessness and pressing forward or laying off or keeping op items in reserve or asking parrot what items to ban so that there was no way for 3ht to be banned before at minimum the final hour.

He is phenomenal at understanding hope and making sure it stays high.

The Cleansing was a little different, it was started, iiuc, because players weren't active and out of the conclusion that that was because there was a heart discrepancy.

So the end goal was to make it easier for player to be active, but that wasn't the goal of the arc. The goal of the arc was to kill every player once. They didn't have the goal to get everyone to care about lifesteal again, they just killed you once if you logged on, and in one day killed, what, 6 players? By doing such a scandalously brutal first day (and with an exploit) it created an intrigue to everyone else and an opposition formed. And because the cleansers wanted more players to log on to harvest hearts from, they were perfectly happy to oblige the dirties with the fights they wanted in retribution for the hearts they had already taken.

They didn't just want the members active, they needed them to be active so they could engage in a fight and kill them.

And when a member logged on that wasn't normally active, everyone knew they would be targeted by the cleansers and worked to save them. It was clear they were in danger.

And that engagement brought more interest, and that interest created a large group and before you knew it Clown was getting bloodthirsty and created a side team to get all the hearts and now there were three teams and everyone ganged up on decimation and Clown got bed trapped and the cleaners won and the hearts were distributed and it was lifesteal's most highly rated event.

But this event-based plot that will work with just whoever is active, and whoever is active will naturally get whoever is not active to be active, and that will get the whole server active without you trying, is a wholly unique mindset that Spoke has that is different from any member who has tried to be the villain.

The abyss, to their credit, once they became a scavenger hunt event, saw wildly more player activity than when they were just a hole to the void. And Medusa and the s4 prison were both events as well, and they saw a good amount of intrigue.

[stressfulsloth]

I really do think it's interesting that the way DE discusses ableism gets ignored by a lot of the fanbase. Because Harry is undeniably disabled and that's a core conflict of the game. He's living in an impossible situation that so many disabled people get caught in; he's physically disabled, even more so by the end of the game after being shot, but even at the beginning of the game he struggles with nerve damage, post-polio syndrome, partial paralysis in his jaw, withdrawals, and that's not even starting on the mental illness. He is sick and cannot ever properly heal under these circumstances because he cannot stop moving forward or he will start to sink. He's living in poverty. He has no safety net. No way out of the RCM. That night in Martinaise before the beginning of the game, he tries to quit- throw everything away. He tries to end his own life and drive his car into the sea because he cannot fathom a future where he's able to get out of this alive when he's so intrinsically bound to this abusive institution that he can't escape from.

And then comes Jean, deliberately forbidding anyone from jogging Harry's memory out of spite and anger, refusing to allow anyone else to help, calling him a fucking idiot and a psychopath, asking if he can go to the toilet on his own, telling him that he doesn't deserve his disability pension because it should go to cops who gave a shit instead (nevermind that Harry has been working at burnout pace for years, he's an addict so his contributions are essentially worthless, right?). He has a conversation with Judit, right in front of Harry, on whether or not he has learning disabilities.

This guy is a very interesting character! And I'm not denying that he's likely dealt with consequences at work from Harry's illness. But he also fulfils the narrative role of being a mouthpiece for the suspicion and even outright aggression that addicts face even while trying to recover. He fulfils the role of a representative of the RCM, with the ability to approve or deny Harry’s return and in turn essentially sentence him to a slow death in the seaside village. He is not there to help; he is there to judge and observe, and then blame Harry when things go bad even though his inaction is at least in part responsible for the deaths during the tribunal. And this is all very deliberate! The RCM, and by extension the Coalition, as an organisation is failing both its officers and its citizens- Jean, by extension, is one of the officers being failed! They are underfunded, overstretched, overworked, and shouldn't even exist in the first place. The expectation on partnered officers to provide emotional support to each other is ridiculous. But instead of directing his anger upwards towards the Coalition airships or superiors at the RCM, he directs it outwards, towards 'the liberals' or towards Harry, who as a disabled addict is a pretty convenient punching bag.

His vitriol towards Harry is not supposed to be sympathetic! At least the way I read it, you're not meant to look at him and think 'oh wow Harry's struggle has been so hard for him.' You're meant to question his language, to think more deeply about how society treats addicts, how punitive measures are never going to help someone get sober, about the importance of safety nets.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

Marvel

Dumb, Dumber and Dumbass by tempestaurora

As Coach Wilson peered out the window in the living room, May said, very quietly, “You didn’t realise your brother worked at Peter’s school?”

“We all make mistakes!” Sam hissed.

Then Coach Wilson was leaning back and a figure in a hoodie and jeans stepped through the window and into the living room, and Peter’s heart sank into his stomach like a rock. Sam’s brother was, true to story, scarred from head to toe. He could see the puckered skin on his hands, the burns across his bald head. But that wasn’t the shocking part—the shocking part was that he’d already seen it before: he’d seen it when a certain vigilante’s suit had been destroyed three nights before, and Peter had walked with him back to his backpack to loan him some clothes.

“This is Wade,” Sam introduced.

Sam Wilson had two brothers: one was Peter’s gym teacher, and the other was fucking Deadpool.

OR: A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Family Dinner, during which Peter and May meet Sam's family. Meanwhile, Tony sends constant text updates about his search for whoever graffiti-ed Avengers Tower.

Death Before Inaction by hppjmxrgosg

"Fuck off, Nicky.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Hasn’t anyone ever told you spider-napping is illegal?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “You can’t hold me here, I know my spider-rights.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “God, you guys are so old. What are you? Like 27?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Scale of 1 to 10, how upset would you be if I told you I banged your mom?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Or, I got my grubby little hands on the spider-man time line and fucked around a little bit. Not much (everything) changes.

DC / Star Wars (Crossover)

Obi-Wan in Gotham by hoebiwan (+ podfic)

Obi-Wan falls through a hole in the universe and ends up in the Batcave.

Clone Wars

the war has just begun by unintentionalgenius

The first problem was that the Supreme Commander didn’t give them enough warning about what they were stumbling into, when they were ordered out into it. Someone above General Kenobi’s head sent the men planetside in standard-issue gear, without thermal clothing or heat packs or sleeping kit or enough food for more than a single day. They had no extra ammo, no tents, no heavy artillery. They had barely any warning.

The second problem was that Supreme Command underestimated the strength of the enemy; it was supposed to be an easy enough job, holding the planet long enough to route the Seppies and then right back to the ship, leaving a contingent of troopers stationed there to retain what they’d won.

The third problem - the real problem - came when they let themselves become surrounded and the Separatists cut their supply line. Cody’s partially at fault for that one; a better Commander would’ve seen it coming. A better Commander would’ve had more backup plans, been prepared for more contingencies.

Being cut off from re-supply would’ve been a problem before the snow started.

Then the snow started.

I've never made it with moderation by Trixree (+ podfic)

He’d known how some of the men are with younglings—known from Waxer and Boil how sharply those attachments can form with little ones. Hell, the men were raised to be protective, so much so that Obi-Wan has often wondered if their protective drive was not written into their very atoms, some intrinsic part of their DNA.

It wasn’t something Obi-Wan had ever questioned. He’d thought he had understood the scope of it. In reality, he hadn’t understood a thing.

Not until Kamino.

Or: Not all that dive from cliffs make a running head start. Sometimes, the Fall is only a natural progression.

Standards of Professionality by Trixree

"Are we going to pretend I didn’t just find you fucking your General, vod?” Rex hisses over private-comm.

Cody doesn’t even turn his head to look at him. Rex can hear the smile in Cody’s voice when he replies, “No, because I am not fucking my General, Rex’ika. I am fucking Obi-Wan. We are professionals.”

5 times Cody and Obi-Wan struggled to maintain plausible deniability regarding their affections for one another + 1 time they decidedly Did Not.

The Hunger Games

Lover & Loner by amateurwordbender

Haymitch once told him that he’s a survivor. It hadn’t been a compliment; he’d slurred out the words in pity after finding Finnick shaking apart from a panic attack.

Jo’s a survivor, too.

(Finnick and Johanna, from the moment they meet to the bitter end)

Original Works

for the want of a jewel by FormlessVoidbeast

With his country fallen to the unstoppable tide of the Dread Warlord, a terrified king sends a peace offering of his own flesh and blood in the hopes of buying leniency.

When Prince Damian of Miska is accepted as the symbol of his country's surrender and immediately wedded to the Warlord, he expects his fate to be both painful and humiliating, and his death inevitable. To his confusion, the Warlord and his terrible Warlock seem to have no interest in abusing that which they have claimed as their own. As Damian finds his feet and gains friends in a new land, he begins to question everything he once thought was true.

But some jewels were never meant to be sold, and the consequences of Damian's sacrifice are more far-reaching than anyone expected.

[cambrian-creature]

I'm thinking thoughts after 33 and I've had too much coffee so hear me out:

Things we know about Arthur Lester:

1. Everyone important to him dies, always at least partially as a result of his choices, be it action or inaction. This is not limited to people he loves, but also includes people he considers important leads, such as Amanda Cummings and Matthew From The Spooky Dungeon.

2. Arthur is fucking STURDY. Bitch has been shot, stabbed, starved, burned, straight up disemboweled, even slit his own fucking throat. He's died like three times. Other characters die permanently from less, so this is clearly not just Harlan Guthrie severely overestimating the limits of the human body.

3. Arthur is about two degrees away from being genuinely suicidal at times. When he's at his lowest, it feels like he keeps going not so much because he wants to live, but because he doesn't know how to do anything else. He'll go until he drops, but he hopes something drops him fucking soon.

4. According to Kayne, Arthur is special somehow, though he can't figure out how exactly. He mentions Arthur's resilience, how anyone else would've died opening the book.

Theory: this isn't just some sad protagonist shit. I believe Arthur is genuinely cursed by some cosmic fuck to cause everything around him to fall apart and live through it. Cursed to stand by as his world burns, knowing it was done by his own hand. Why this is, I can't fathom, but I do think he's special in the worst way possible. A part of some greater plan, perhaps.

Conclusion: I'm fucking worried about John, y'all.

[artificialchaoscola]

I really want to create my own Anti-Shadow to ship with Scourge (yes Sonadow must take many forms!) because I'm quite silly... But there are so many ways this can go!

Like, the interesting thing about Sonic and Scourge to me was their conversation about what a good or bad "day" meant for the two of them. Backstory-wise, it's a bit... interesting that Scourge is partially the way he is because of negative interactions with his father, but also he lacks the general desire to connect with others like Sonic does. Sonic will fight for everyone's right of choice, will do the right thing simply because he wants to, and he will connect with others positively as a result. Scourge doesn't care for that, instead choosing to get what he wants through intimidation and fear. So Scourge, while in some ways very similar to Sonic, takes aspects of the Hero and twists them into something sadder. It's compelling I think!

So, which aspect of Shadow could be altered? You can choose to alter his upbringing, who Maria was, and how their relationship manifested. Alter the purpose of his creation from the get-go, which alien species Gerald had taken DNA from to create him. Or you could take the whole basis of Shadow's struggle post-SA2 and turn it on its head. He fought so hard for his own identity, to define his own purpose and his own ability to choose what HE wanted... so change that.

There are so many ways you can take this! You can make a Shadow that was created into an environment that abolished his personhood depending on how you depict Maria and Gerald. You could make him simply a weapon, a bloodthirsty gremlin that relishes in destruction with no positive purpose attached, a sword to the hand that wields it. You can make him the kind of character that's essentially a doormat, unable to make proper decisions for himself and acts cowardly. A Shadow that's horribly smug with inflated pride, flashy and gaudy, with no decency or heroism to back it up because he's just that full of himself. Alternatively, you could make it a Shadow that never experienced the trauma aboard the ARK, though as a result he lives attached to Maria's hip, never able to grow into the person he is.

And if you manage to not only make him a corrupt anti-version of Shadow, but you also make him parallel Scourge? Similarly to how Sonic and Shadow parallel one another?? *chef's kiss*... It might be peak fiction... either that or I'm sleep-deprived.

TL;DR: The best thing you can twist about Shadow for his version in Moebius would be to take any hope he represents in the canon and crush it. Where Shadow gives the people of the Earth a chance to be happy, Anti-Shadow does the opposite, either through inaction or through extreme violence.

[gale-force-storm]

Imagine Gale being absolutely Frantic with worry when tav gets knocked out in battle. Sprinting over to them to hold them, pestering the shit out of shadowheart while she works to heal tav. Waiting next to them until they wake up, absolutely feral with worry

Aah, I do enjoy a panicked Gale. I actually see him as usually being pretty good under pressure, cool and efficient, but only when he has something to do. Helplessness and inaction do not sit well with him. Plus, you can bet he'd be kicking himself for "letting" Tav get hurt. Even if there's nothing he reasonably could have done, he'd still feel guilty for not somehow doing more.

One last thunderwave and the last three enemies are down, and he's looking around to check on everyone as he always does and- no.

"Tav!" He rushes over, dropping to his knees by their side. "No, no, no, Tav. You have to wake up, please-" His head whips around again. "Shadowheart!"

"Hold on! I'm coming!" She sprints over from the cover she'd ducked behind, similarly kneeling next to them.

"Please. We're out of potions. They need-"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she snaps, hands starting to glow as she presses them to the nasty gash across Tav's side. "I can stabilize them, but that's all. We'll need to get them back to camp so Halsin can finish the rest."

"But they'll be ok?"

"Yes, if you let me focus."

Gale wishes more than anything that he could carry them back to camp himself once she finishes, but he has to settle for letting Karlach take up the task instead while he walks beside them, never taking his eyes off of Tav. Making sure their breathing is steady, that their wound doesn't reopen, looking for any signs of consciousness. He continues hovering back at camp, though Halsin is more patient about it. Gale could almost cry with relief when their eyes finally flutter open.

"Hhng... Gale?"

"Tav, thank the gods!" He'd been holding one of their hands, and the other immediately went to their cheek. "How are you feeling? Are you alright?"

"Mm... bit sore."

Halsin nods. "You'll need to rest."

"Is there anything I can do?" Gale asks, almost pleading.

"Sit with them. Make sure they drink some water and get plenty of rest tonight."

Gale, of course, takes this a bit overzealously and refuses to leave their side for the rest of the night, helping them to their tent to lay down, fusing over them to make sure they're comfortable, making sure they get plenty of water, and watching them once they fall asleep. He'd claim he's just keeping an eye on their breathing, and that's partially true, but it's more for his own piece of mind than anything.

He tries to stay awake all night, but at some point he does drift off against his best efforts, and when Tav wakes up they're greeted by him lying next to them, arms around them, holding them like he never intends to let go.

[abominable-space-they]

Agatha all Along theory

Spoilers through ep 5

Ok first we need the set up

In this magical retelling of The Wizard of Oz Jennifer is the tin man, bound to inaction, Lilia is thr cowardly lion always afraid of what might come to pass, and Alice is the scarecrow who thinks she has nothing to offer but does.

Agatha is Dorothy

It's heavily implied here that Teen is toto, though I think this is a misdirect.

Rio is the one she's known for ages, Rio protects her, Rio loves her, Rio is fearless, Rio gets her into shenanigans, Rio is pissed off at her mom & company who tried to hurt her, Rio literally licked her hand in the first episode

Rio is Toto

Now Wanda is definitely the wicked witch of the East, that makes Teen, Warlock, either the wicked witch of the West or Glenda the Good witch

And I'd argue for now, it's both. Teen is Glenda the Good Witch and Billy/Warlock is the wicked witch of the West secretly driving a lot of the action because of the death of his mother & family.

Ok so now episode five

This episode is poppy field incident in Wizard of Oz.

I had to go rewatch it, bc I haven't seen it since I was probably 8. So in that trial, The Wicked Witch of the West places a poppy field in their path, which would poison them with good feelings until they faded away.

Dorothy leads them into the field, it's beautiful, they're frolicking. Dorothy passes out, the tin man gets stuck again, the cowardly lion passes out out of fear, they all lay down in the poppies and almost drift away.

They realize something is wrong and scream for help, Glenda is super imposed over the screen casting magic to loosen the hold of the poppies enough that they can wake up and run away.

I think that the theories that this was all or partially a dream are gonna be right.

I also think Teen led them into that place and left the door open for the Salem seven (they're the flying monkeys after all) so he would have a way to coral them to this place

Maybe he originally wanted to punish Dorothy and leave her there, maybe he planned on siphoning his powers back while she was possessed by her mother or sleeping/high

Whatever it was, that didn't go as planned, he blames Agatha for fucking up his plan.

When Agatha says you're just like your mother it does inspire him, not to murder though, to wake them up.

My guess is the mud is a misdirect and he's using it to wake them up, because hell yeah he is just like his mother

But that means something different to him then Agatha. His mother bent the rules of space time to bring his father back to life. His mother went to any lengths to save the people she loved... Including becoming a villain in the eyes of some.

He asked Agatha to save Alice, she can't, he's furious because she was the one who caused all this in the first place, he couldn't be expected to know it would go like that.

Then she reminded him who he is, and even though she meant it meanly, like you're a hypocrite just like your mother, you're delusional just like your mother, you're willing to kill people to get what you want just like your mother, you call me the bad guy while being just like me just like your mother.

But it was still enough to remind him that there is no one better suited to breaking through some sort of pocket dimension unreality then the son of the Scarlet Witch.

So that's what he's doing, I don't think he's taking them off the road, I think he's pushing them down down down, back onto the road.

But really, also... Where is Rio?

Maybe Agatha is actually Rio, maybe the corpse of Alice is really Agatha, still sleeping in the poppies

Whatever it is specifically, none of this is exactly as it seems and I can't wait to see how it plays out

[softestqueeen]

like the movies

pairing: mads mikkelsen x actress!reader

summary: While attending the premiere of your new movie “The Hunt” with your co-worker and good friend Mads Mikkelsen, you get a little bit emotional. After Mads comforts you, he offers to bring you home. Once at your room, things develop quite different than you imagined..

warnings: 18+ MDNI!! smut, unprotected p in v sex (please guys – don’t be silly, wrap your willy), mutual masturbating, fingering (f receiving), handjob (m receiving), cumming in pants, breeding kink (sorry not sorry), mention of pubic hair

wordcount: 3480 words

a/n: I literally promised to write this for my best friend last year in september.💀 but now i finally had the time to write it. i plan on being a lot more active in the future, as I have been quite inactive in the past. now: enjoy <3

disclaimer: there is a link to the dress i image the reader wearing, the person wearing it is like 2000s cocaine thin, so if you don’t want to ruin the fantasy (because truthfully i don’t look like that either) i suggest you don’t open it and just imagine something that really fits your style and body <3

Finally, after more than two years of filming, the premiere of your new movie “The Hunt” is only a few minutes away. After getting ready in your hotel room, you got into a limo with some of the other actresses that starred in the movie. You were so excited, because this was not just any premiere, you new movie would be premiering at the Cannes Film Festival in France.

Looking out the tinted window of the limousine, you could already see the red carpet and the endless paparazzi that were lining it. You took a deep breath as the car came to a halt and the door opened. One after the other your colleagues trickled out and onto the red carpet before it was your turn.

You would never get used to the feeling of standing on a red carpet. The way that the paparazzi and fans were screaming your name, fighting for your attention, wanting the perfect picture of you in your fancy outfit. The different poses, the group pictures, and the interviews along the way to the first ever screening of a new film.

Like every time, this all passed by like a blur. You were glad that it was over, but also a bit sad about it. For now, you would enjoy the film though. After all you worked hard on it, not just as an actress, but for the first time also as a director, which made this premiere even more special – if that was even possible.

Most of your colleagues had finished their walks on the red carpet now as well and were led to their seats. You knew that a lot of people didn’t actually go and watch the movie, but you loved to see the finished product on the big screen.

Getting settled with your popcorn, you suddenly feel someone sitting down next to you. Turning to face them, a smile instantly found it’s way onto your face when you saw that it was your colleague – and good friend – Mads Mikkelsen. Excitement filled you, because you knew that he normally went out to eat before the after- show party, which is why he would have missed the first screening.

The two of you exchanged short small talk about the premiere so far before the lights dimmed and the film started. Of course, you knew what was happening, but seeing the final cut and the whole story pieced together was amazing.

It was over way too soon and at the end you even got a little bit emotional. Partially because of the film – even though a lot of people would say it is ridiculous to shed a tear at this film – and also because it was now over. For such a long time you worked so hard on this film and now it is completed.

Hearing a sniffle next to him, Mads turned around to look at you. He quickly pulled a handkerchief out of his suit jacket before asking you. “Are you alright, darling?”

The pet name made your heart rate pick up as you mutter a quiet ‘thanks’ while accepting the tissue. You leaned your head back and tried to dab the tears away without ruining your make up while Mads was still turned towards you, now with a worried expression on his face.

After collecting yourself for a moment, you turned to look at him again. “I’m all right, just a little emotional that’s all. We’ve worked so hard for this and now it’s over. I will miss the time on set.” You told him, while trying not to cry again, which surprisingly worked. He still didn’t look completely convinced but accepted your answer. For now.

The lights were now turned back on and Mads stood up, holding out his hand to you. You gladly accepted it and the two of you excited the cinema and made your way to the actual highlight of the evening: the after-show party.

“Have I already told you that you are an absolute beauty today?”, he asked while you walked, your arm still linked with his.

You turned your head and tried to hide the blush that was creeping up your cheeks at the actors’ words.

“No, you haven’t. But I also didn’t tell you that you look quite handsome in your suit as well,” you told him cheekily. Now that you were thinking about it, the two of you looked quite well together. Your chestnut brown dress complimented his dark grey suit very nicely. His tie even had a similar colour to your dress.

The two of you smiled at each other and braced yourself for the paparazzi you knew were waiting in front of the club the after-show party would be held at. You didn’t know if you should remove your hand as to not paint the wrong picture for the public but Mads seemed unbothered by the fact that you looked like a couple and you decided that you were too.

So, you entered the club arm in arm, the flashes behind you momentarily lighting up the entrance. After getting drinks the two of you slowly drifted to different corners of the party. You were hanging around with your friends while he was hanging around with his. And still you could often feel a pair of eyes on you and when you turned around it were always Mads eyes that caught yours.

This happened a few times and the longer the party went on – and the more drinks you had – the riskier you got. Sometimes you shot him a wink or held eye contact with him while dancing or whispering into one of your friends’ ears.

It was safe to say that you could now both feel the tension that is starting to form between you.

Throughout the evening this tension developed into something you hadn’t really felt in a long time: comfort.

No matter where you turned you knew he was there with that easy smile on his lips. And in a way his presence calmed your nerves like nothing else. Your earlier disappointment about the film slowly started to transform too.

And so, the only possible thing you could do was talk to him again. For a moment you thought he may have gone without you, as you turned but could not see him.

Thank God, you saw him emerging the bathroom just a moment later. You excused yourself from your current conversation with a director whose name you couldn’t recall anymore and approached Mads before he could slip away again.

Before you could say anything, Mads grabbed your hand and pulled you back into the area of the bathrooms, which was a bit more secluded and quieter. A lot less people were crowding the space, only the occasional person emerging from the bathrooms.

“Are you feeling better now, darling?”, he asks you, leaning closer to you, even though it was not necessary. At the sudden closeness and his repeated use of the pet name, you could feel your heart rate picking up.

“Yes, I am, thanks for asking,” you answered him before adding, “It’s getting kinda late though, so I’ll probably catch a taxi and head home now.”

“I was actually about to head back to the hotel soon, how about we share a taxi? Cheaper you know.” He adds the last sentence with a lazy smirk and a wink.

“Sounds good to me,” you flirted back.

When you went to turn to the entrance you noticed that you were still holding his hand. Tightening your grip on him you now fully turned and started guiding the two of you out of the night club.

Once outside, you could feel a shiver running down your spine at the crisp night air, though it could also be caused by the long skin contact with your quite handsome colleague.

Ever the gentleman, Mads noticed and quickly rid himself of his suit jacket and laid it over your bare shoulders. You thanked him with a slight blush that got even deeper when he put his arm around you and rested his hand respectfully on your waist.

With you in his arm he waved over a taxi, opened the car door for you and helped you inside, as he noticed your trouble from the light intoxication and high heels. He gave the driver the address of your hotel, which thankfully was not too far away from the venue.

Even though the two of you didn’t talk during the drive, you could both feel the sexual tension between you. It genuinely surprised you as you hadn’t thought about Mads this way before. Of course, he’s handsome but to you he was only a good friend.

But now that you were looking at him, his face illuminated only by the warm light of the French streetlamps, you had to admit that he was really good looking.

His face an even mix between sharp edges and soft rounds, his dark chocolate eyes almost black, strands of his salt and pepper hair falling into his forehead, unintentionally though it looks like it had been styled like this for hours. And his body, now that he had shed his jacket you could see the muscle straining his shirt by his arms and chest – those buttons were fighting for their life when he moved his arms – his suit trousers hugging his thighs so well. And those hands, slightly veiny, long fingers, you wondered what he could do with-

Suddenly the car came to a halt, and you stopped your anything but appropriate thoughts. Before you could even reach into your purse, Mads had already paid the driver and opened the door, offering you his hand once more after he climbed out himself.

Gladly you excepted his hand and let him pull you out of the car, after you wished the driver a good night. Mads’ arm found it’s way back around you, this time coming to rest at the small of your back.

The two of you entered the hotel, got your key cards, and then went into an elevator. On the ride up you could feel the heat from his hand – that was still nestled against your lower back – slowly spreading into the rest of your body.

Slowly you could also feel the heat setting root in your core and wetness pooling in your panties.

You were sure that Mads could also feel the tension and hot sparks that were flying between you.

A quiet ding brought you back into reality.

Though your rooms were on the same floor, yours was on the left while his room was to the right. However, you made no move towards it and let Mads hand guide you to his room. Both of you were aware of how this was going to play out.

At the thought of how this night would end you could feel your heartrate picking up again and your anticipation growing.

Mads held the key card against the door before opening it and guiding you inside. He closed it behind him, his hand momentarily leaving its place on your back.

He locked the door before turning to you again, a smile spreading on both of your faces.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” he told you while making a few steps towards you.

“Well, I met this really handsome guy who showed me some kindness and made me feel a lot better,” you answered, deciding to play his game.

“Oh, did you really? And he was handsome, you say? Hmm... who could that have been?” he questioned teasingly, now standing directly in front of you.

Instead of answering him, you leaned forward and connected your lips before wrapping your hand around his neck. He immediately melted into the kiss and rested his hands on your hips.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to get heated, his tongue demanding entrance into your mouth. He swallowed your moans as he started to explore your mouth with his tongue, his hands starting to wander over your body. His hands on your body felt incredible, how they wandered over your hips, to your waist, to your shoulders where you could finally feel his hands against your bare skin and then back downwards again.

Slowly you started to move the two of you closer to the bed. Kicking off your high heels while Mads pushed his jacket from your shoulders, exposing your arms and back to him, you were now only wearing your dress. His lips left yours and started to wander down your throat, his hands now on your waist pulling your body flush to his.

You let your head fall back, giving him more space to kiss. While he was busy with your neck you loosened his tie and started to unbutton his shirt. After opening the first few buttons with slightly shaky hands you let your hand glide over the now exposed skin, Mads hands on your hips tightening at the action.

Opening the button on his trouser, you pulled his shirt free and opened it up completely. As if in a hurry you clumsily pushed it off his shoulders. Mads momentarily broke the kiss to rid himself of his shirt and trousers, only his boxers remaining.

He immediately connected his lips with yours again, his hands wandering to the zip on your back, slowly, almost teasingly, pulling it down and exposing more of your skin inch by inch. His hands left your body, to pull down the straps of your dress.

Now that nothing was holding it up anymore, it fell from your body and pooled around your legs, your body now completely exposed to his eyes.

With still closed eyes he pulled away from your lips, only opening them again to eye your body, his eyes full of lust. The only piece of clothing that remained on your frame was your small slip.

Making eye contact with him, you slowly hooked your fingers into it, slowly pulling down your panties, exposing your glistening cunt to his eyes.

He grabbed a hold of your hips again and pushed you back onto the bed, chasing your body with his, never leaving too much space between you. He laid down on top of you, the only thing that were still separating you were his boxes.

While you start kissing him again, one of your hands starts teasing the waistline of his pants. With an impatient grunt from his side and a chuckle – both muffled by your mouths moving against each other – your hands slides underneath and grabs a hold of his hard cock.

Mads hands – that were resting on either side of your head – almost gave in ant the feeling of you finally stroking his aching dick. His kiss grows more heated as his hand wanders towards your core, returning the favour.

You let out a long moan as you felt his veiny hand making contact with your wet pussy. With ease he slides through your folds, collecting the wetness from your hole and spreading it over your clit, then repeating the process. Speeding up your strokes, he started to exclusively circle your clit, making you writhe beneath him.

He breaks the kiss before pressing his forehead against yours.

“You’re driving me insane. I’m so close from you just touching me.”, he whispers against your lips before moving his face into the crook of your neck. You could feel him starting to thrust into your hand, urging you to stroke him faster.

“I’m close too.”, you pant into his ear that is now directly next to your lips. You turn your head an d start planting light kisses against his temple while speeding up your strokes. Bucking your hips into his hand when he too becomes quicker, you can feel your high being only seconds away.

“I’m gonna cum!”, you say breathlessly before getting lost in your orgasm. You can feel Mads breath against your neck – erratic and heavy – as he releases into your hand, ruining his boxers in the process. The moans of your name while he came were the thing that triggered your own release, your body starting to convulse. Now his name was falling from your lips, your voice shaky from pleasure.

Slowly you both halt your movements and start to catch your breath. You pull your hand from his boxers, pulling the soft fabric down his thighs. He gets the hint and stands up, granting you an incredible view of his toned body as he rids himself of his now stained underwear.

He made eye contact with you while pulling the fabric down his legs, an easy smile appearing on his lips as he saw you pressing your thighs together.

Mads joined you on the bed, his body covering yours again. Instead of staying like this, he leans back to sit on his haunches, his cock now standing tall against his stomach, almost meeting the belly button with his tip. He hooks his fingers into the sides of your underwear, slowly pulling them down your legs, torturing not just you but himself too.  

Throwing the now useless piece of fabric to the side, he used both of his hands to spread your legs, just looking at your glistening cunt. You could see the hunger, the longing in his eyes.

“Fuck, that pussy is so pretty. If I wasn’t so impatient, I’d taste you now. But the nights still young,” he mutters, almost just to himself. You could feel yourself getting impatient, but before you could complain he leans over you again, one hand next to your head, the other one still spreading your legs.

He moves it now to grip his leaking cock, his cum the perfect lube. Gently, he runs the head of his cock through your folds, circling your clit. Once he feels he toyed with you enough, he moves to your entrance, slowly pushing the head of his cock inside of your hole.

Both of you let out a sigh of relief as Mads sinks inside of you. Leaving his cock now, his hand finds a place at your hip, rubbing gentle circles on your skin as he fully sinks inside of you.

Once Mads bottoms out, you feel like he’s in your stomach, his thick length creating a slight bulge at the front of your lower stomach. He leaves you a moment to adjust before he starts to move inside of you.

Slowly, he lets his cock sink inside of your tight hole before pulling out again, setting a slow pace for the both of you.

Not being able to handle his torturous strokes, you wrap your legs around his slim waist, pulling him closer to you, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

With every thrust you could feel him getting closer to your g-spot, his cock so deliciously deep inside you.

Now that you were thinking about it – though you weren’t thinking about much in that moment – he was the biggest (and best) you ever had. The way his veins dragged along your slick walls, his tip now hitting that gummy spot inside of you, the hair atop his cock stimulating your clit with every thrust.

It was truly magical.

“This is so much better than I imagined it, love. Your pussy feels so good wrapped around my cock. Fuck, so tight,” he groans into your ear, his hips speeding up their movements.

Your pulse quickened and you let out a moan at the thought of him imagining this over and over in his head. That thought almost brought you to your second high that night.

Mads was now repeatedly hitting your g-spot, moans now slipping freely from between your lips.

“Fuck Mads, I’m so close,” you pant into his ear, your nails slowly digging into his muscular shoulders.

“Me too, love, me too. Come with me. I want to feel that tight pussy squeezing me, milking me. Cum for me,” he almost demands before starting to relentlessly pound into you, tipping both of you over the edge.

He came with a shout of your name, filling you up with his thick cum while you were pulsing around him, gripping him even tighter. His head went into the crook of your neck as you both calmed down and evened out your breathing.

You unwrapped your legs from his hips, your hands drawing mindless shapes onto his back.

Once you had both calmed down a bit, he pulled out and went to the bathroom to get a towel. He gently cleaned you, before cleaning himself, dressing you in one of his boxers, before laying down next to you.

He engulfed you in his thick arms, your back flush to his chest, his nose burring itself in your hair.

“I think we should do this more often,” you told him before drifting off and his deep chuckle was the last thing you heard.

a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated!

please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueen

taglist: @silvermagnolias @milywatermelon @BigBananaa

[liquidorcard]

Hey fam we're gunna inact in some sinful behavior again and get real for a sec here on the shitposting blog so TW: Discussion of substance abuse, mental health issues, SA, etc.

You may have noticed I took a bit of a break from posting for a bit. It wasn't entirely due to Lily's "junkie" rant here, but it was partially responsible.

A lot about Lily high key cheeses my biscuits, I've made that pretty clear. Lily and I have a . . . Strange amount in common in some regards. I'm a trans person myself, I come from a similar, shall we say, "dysfunctional home environment" Lily does. We're even both Canadian, close enough in age I grew up with a lot of the exact same regional-specific media she did. We've had some other life experiences in common.

With that said, Lily's almost like the evil funhouse mirror version of my life. I was sexually assaulted for the first time at basically the exact same age Courtney was. Lily reminds me very much of my first partner, who physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. Unlike Lily, I am from an actual multi-racial family and have had the somewhat unique experiences and gotten the somewhat unique perspective of being a white person partially influenced and organically adopted into more predominantly POC culture. I've had to come to terms with my own white privilege and the ways Western colonialism has influenced me on a level far more personal than it would be for someone from a more monoracial and monocultural family than mine. While also coming to terms with and accepting the ways my family has been judged and discriminated against for being so blended.

There's also just the fact that Lily seems to (I wonder if, on some level, intentionally) act like the alt-right caricature of a progressive leftist in the most performative way imaginable, while also clearly not actually being left-wing at all. My pet theory is that the only thing stopping Lily from going full Blaire White MAGA butt monkey is that her pride can't take it. Being treated like a useful idiot for the right to "prove" they're not bigots while treating her with open hostility in every other regard. So she's as "leftist" as she needs to be to get the 12 year olds she's trying to court on her side because they don't know any better. While being profoundly anti-labor, pro-capitalist. Even though the only reason why the alt-right hyper focus on identity politic bullshit like that is becayse it's a wedge issue that allows them to skirt around talking about actual policy.

There's also just the fact that someone can be so, confidently, shit-eating levels of wrong and stupid about the most asinine things. I actually work professionally in the fields Lily has decided her opinions are worth vomiting out into the ether. Fields people in general are way too comfortable speaking with authority on shit they know absolutely nothing about-- but Lily is for sure a special case.

Point is: I'm very used to Lily making me go into turbo big upsetti spaghetti mode. I've been aware of her for YEARS. I'm over it . . . Until I'm not.

I've alluded to it a few times already: I'm a recovered drug user, though I've struggled with general substance abuse and impulse control issues for longer. Particularly because of untreated mental health issues like C-PTSD, a dissociative disorder, gender dysphoria and ADHD. Particularly because of untreated physical health issues that just a few years ago almost killed me. Issues that caused me significant pain, mental distress, and slowly worsening disability since I was 11 years old. Went totally untreated until they came close to taking my life. It's no coincidence that I started stealing my parent's booze when I was around 12 or 13 years old.

The worst, ugliest, most humiliating aspects of yourself? Addiction will put them front and center. It will cause you to do things, act in ways, find out things about yourself you're never going to be able to unknow. You have to live with for the rest of your life.

You're aware of it-- the whole time. What a fucking creature you've become. How you are hurting the people closest to you. It's not fun. The whole time, you want to stop. But you can't. You don't know why you just can't control yourself, what you're supposed to do. You're afraid of asking for help out of fear of judgement or punishment. Drugs are mostly decriminalized in Canada and still, if someone just took access away from my poison of choice and sent me on my way with no further help--- I would have just walked into traffic.

The worst of my issues happened due to some absolutely insane levels of medical irresponsibility that I won't fully get into because they're too long to explain. But I will tell you that, already aware I had substance abuse issues, I *explicitly warned* the doctor who prescribed me the medication that I didn't feel I could be responsible to be put on anything addictive. She assured me it was not. Spoiler altert: it was addictive. A lot of addicts descent into rock bottom beginning with something they were prescribed.

Drug companies will put in these "anti-abuse" measures into otherwise addictive substances that it takes half a brain cell to circumvent. Just take my word for it.

I overdosed at least once, maybe twice on the drug I was originally prescribed. Alone. By some insane luck I survived both times without getting further medical treatment. But as I built up a tolerance what I was originally prescribed wasn't the *only thing* I ended up abusing in that period of my life. I was going to die if I didn't do something soon, and I knew it.

I was lucky. My sister drove two cities over after a night shift to my rescue and quite literally set me on the road to saving my life. My doctor was compassionate enough to allow me to get off of what I was originally addicted to at my own pace, and correctly identified I needed a medication overhaul to do so. My older brother made sure I wasn't dying of dehydration or starvation during my detox period and made sure to do the daily tasks I didn't have the mental capacity to do at that time aswell. Without them I wouldn't be here today.

NOT EVERY DRUG USER IS AS FORTUNATE AS ME, HOWEVER. And even then, recovery is not a straight line, or as simple as having certain substances kept away. It's a demon you'll be fighting the rest of your life, in many instances. Mine included. Part of getting off the harmful substances I was was getting a prescription to Adderall, as I was partially self-medicating for. Something my doctor still monitors me with to ensure I'm not falling back into bad habits with. Something Lily is CURRENTLY bitching about not being able to get a prescription for-- I wonder why, Lily.

I have now gone through THREE surgeries without painkillers. And in one particularly awful incident, was treated rather cruelly by the medical staff over refusing to take them. To quote, of all things, fucking Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, "if you live with pain long enough, you learn to enjoy the taste." But nothing is like the nightmare of chemical dependence. Pain is immaterial to that kind of hell.

I know Lily is saying this bullshit just to vaguepost about Courtney, but I don't care. Fuck her. Fuck her for daring to judge me, and those like me. That she was that comfortable being this vile about the matter publically should give you a good indication as to how comfortable even other people are to talking down to addicts.

She wouldn't have survived the shit I went through. I dare her to try. She's way too much of a little piss baby to crawl her way out of that kind of suffering.

I know this is a meme page, but I refuse to be ashamed of talking about it. If anyone would like some more information about my experience or has questions as to why Lily's opinion on the matter is dogshit and vile, feel free to dm me or send me an ask. I'll make it clear why Lily is fucking scum for having the balls to say this publically. I'll make her regret it.