#going crazy over them. oh my god
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MY rbg trio
thinking So Hard about flower symbolism .
#going crazy over them. oh my god#tiff and reed..... siblings..... claire their doting knight....#LOOK AT THEIR OUTFITS!!!>!.1#mhdmhmmham. reed getting angier. claire becoming more stern. tiff got high#reed waterlilies. claire bluebells. tiff sunflowers. hheheheheh#also hey. reed being water lilies. i need to talk about reed in analytical way so bad#gacha world#lunime#Avenger Reed#Blooming Tiff#Grandmaster Claire#OH MY GOD. THEIR EXPRESSIONS . FLIPPED
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i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes
all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.
i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)
#THAT FIRST ONE TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE TO MAKE. i have never been more careful with a trackpad. imgflip doesnt have an undo button#i think its fucking hilarious#its a batdad au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#dc x dp#mmm i need to come up with a name for this au#found family ftw WHOOOO. i could just do a generic 'blood blossom au' tag but i want a specific one because i like being unique#eldest batkid danny au#chronically ill danny au#danny: im grateful he's helping me but im still kinda apprehensive...#battinson: vaults over a car to escape reporters. likes rock music. isn't fucking evil. punched a cop. actively looking for a cure#danny: ...huh. okay.#furiously pushing the batdad agenda for my own gain. just look at them guys. they're funny little guys.#unofficial witness protection to adoption pipeline.#bruce wayne accidental teen acquisition. save a teenager gain a son#its about the adventure of them going from strangers to friends to family :)#im bored of the bruce slander guys in the words of hermes from hadestown:#“[its] about someone who *tries”*#danny saw a funny man in a funny costume eat the side of a dumpster and has never related more with someone on a spiritual level#“brother eugh i feel that. oh heY WAIT HERO BUDDY?? SAME HAT??? SAME HAT?”#danny's been the only hero he's known since he was 13. on god he is leaping at this opportunity. like YES. PLEASE BE ANOTHER HERO#HELP ME GET AWAY FROM CERTIFIED CRAZY MAN. HELP. YOU'RE SCARY AND HIDING IN THE DARK. EVEN BETTER. HELP A BROTHER OUT HERE#blood blossom au#for the time being thats the name
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i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#nenekasa#<- i like them.#sorry i like mygo + avemuji but cant make fanart of anything im not Fucking Crazy about normally#had to touch it up digitally because i tried coloring a Pen Drawing in with Watercolor. in earnest.#Everything think the announcements gonna be a new unit. I think that would be hilarious and the worst possible timing#Given where everyone else's arcs are but the miku design looked cute so if its jsut a new game that would cheese me#My tag blabbering... what else ... im artfight slacking. my wrist hurts. course selection is next week. SCREAMS#please pray to God i do not have any 8am classes. PLEASE. my college commute takes over an hour. If i have to wake up at 6am i will k#Oh my God i have to go to the dentist tomorrow too please fucking helpme THEYRE GONAN FIDN AMILLION CAVITIES AND KILL ME. AAAAAHG.#Every time theres another proseka broadcast announced i get scared cause i have so many song covers i want in the game but.#I want to draw them first. So that if they Do get added to the game i cna go HEH... >:)....#Thats whyi did skeleton orchestra emnn and scissorhands rks. I want scissorhands in the game reallybad i love that song#3DMV EVEN PLEEEASE but also nothing can too miumes choreography from like a decade ago i wanna do a cosplay performanc eof it someday...#i ❤️ waacking.#actually the one i Really want to draw is ALSO nenekasa. record red save me. ILL DRAW IT OK
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Sam and Matt
#daredevil#daredevil fanart#matt murdock#blindspot#sam chung#samuel chung#marvel#blindspot and daredevil#my art#I’ve been going crazy over them.#like holy shit father and son ever it’s actually insane like oh my god
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HENRI TOIVONEN, JUHA KANKKUNEN, CHRISTIAN GEISTDÖRFER, TIMO SALONEN & MARKKU ALÉN in a lift while waiting for WALTER RÖHRL during the 1986 RALLYE DE PORTUGAL
#FNBEWJOPIVOEFWOFIOEJWROWJPGIBPOEIPJGIRGI0DEFWOHIIJOHUEOIJVOEJFIGROEWIROJWGFBOIEFOWFJEGOIPIWJFKOEIJKRORIJKNRGEFWOKJFNEWDKFJNFKEOBJNRGEONJGOIJ#OK HELLO ?? HI ???????????????????#THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR THREE PEOPLE [ME. MYSELF & I]#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#this is like the lift ride of my dreams#this sprung up on me just like that. and i am going fucking crazy over it.#henri & juha i have been waiting fucking MONTHS to get ONE FUCKING PHOTO of these two together#because they were besties...............................................#AND NOW I HAVE ONE BETTER WITH ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF THEM !! THEY ARE MOVING !!!! JUHA IS USING HIS HEIGHT TO HELP HENRI FIND WALTER :')#and then fucking CHRISTIAN !!!#CHRISTIAN FUCKING GEISTDÖRFER !!! THE FUCKING MAN HIMSELF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#look at him in that bigass sweater i am weakkkkkkkk#sir u have no right looking that good while searching for your driver like PLEASE#and then there's timo & markku in the back as well#like seriously the gang is all here#i think we should thank the cameraman for filming this moment but also not filming ilkka#because that would hve been it for me. i would not be able to recover from that. like seriously. that would be too much.#but oh my god imagine he was in there as well with christian & juha & henri eeekekekekekkek oh my god that would have been the dream for me#i should have been in the lift !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i have a lot of thoughts of this six second of footage and i will not stop thinking abt it#1980s#wrc#motorsport#world rally championship#group b#rally#henri toivonen#juha kankkunen#christian geistdörfer#timo salonen
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I have a vision:
Bonus:
#going insane over this rn#i used to be so obsessed with rwby#specifically with qrow#oooh now i'm thinking about like star wars tcw/tbb rwby au#brb going crazy over this#DO YOU SEE MY VISION#ugh i love them so much#crosshair and qrow would get along so well oh my god#and ruby and omega too#losing my mind over this#ok that's it#thanks for coming to my tag talk#tbb#the bad batch#rwby#tbb crosshair#crosshair bad batch#tbb omega#omega bad batch#qrow branwen#ruby rose
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Jujutsu Kaisen (2020)
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#geto suguru#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nanami kento#nobara kugisaki#maki zenin#mai zenin#panda jjk#inumaki toge#kokichi muta#kasumi miwa#mahito#i regret touching jjk#i'm going crazy over satosugu - they consume my every thought#wdym 'my soul knows otherwise'#wdym the way they say each others names so softly can never be replicated???#i'm out here crying over 2d characters and their relationships#this is legitimate#the parallels between itafushi and satosugu 😭😭#the parallels between the old gen trio and the new gen trio 😭😭😭#for the sake of persevering my mental health i truly believe that itafushi will break the generational curse#for similar reasons i will not be reading the manga#oh god what have i done#im acc sobbing over them#anime#geto defender
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Katsuki would absolutely make those thirst trap cooking TikToks
#yknow the ones where they wayyy over sexualize what they’re doing#yeah he’s got an entire series of them for PR#everyone in the comments is like ‘oh my god his partner is so lucky’#and you’re just clowning him the whole time he films just out of sight#he tries to tease you and be all sexy and you’re just laughing and telling him to get his lame ass away from you#you finally chime in one time on the comments and say the only perk of these videos is that you’re eating what he cooks after#he stops letting you watch him film because you make him laugh#so you start duetting reaction videos that people go crazy for#Bakugou imagine#bakugou headcanons#Bakugou Katsuki
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im not sorry for the kind of person i will become when wriothesley gets released
#wriolette#neuvithesley#ngl kinda hate that tag. ugh. pain in the ass to spell scrambles my brain#genshin#crow.txt#snippets#not sfw#uhhh i think thats all the relevant tags. sorry it will happen again oh my god i love them listen....#i have many thoughts. so many#yeah yeah i cant get an accurate read on wrios personality yet bc hes not REAL yet. but im so impatient i love him so bad#playstyle design presuned lore everything im going to EAT him.#neuvi too but im way less insane about him. hes definitely good but not as Crow Bait. wrio is literally just. so much shit i go crazy over#also would love to know how to pronounce That bc. boy howdy huh.#also how is bottom wrio already so hardcore underrated. pleaseplease please youte nothing. both ways are good. take my hand.
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heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )
but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,
( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )
and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;
The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx
( helpsksdj )
so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )
so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )
buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )
had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...
PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )
-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )
and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )
...hE GOT KYLE
FUCKING
BROFLOVSKI
and had to place him at /TEN/.
-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...
...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!
...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.
And....
*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*
Scene. <3
#nina speaks#sorry that ravenheadstannon makes me cry laughing everytime and i needed a distraction; he needs to go to jail#like he needs tall white boy behavioral therapy for his BAD BEHAVIOR he is down astronomically bad...i'm...SMHHHH#I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FUNNY PUTTING SCARY SWOLE AF TOPDOM STREET FIGHTER JERSEY KYLE ON BOTTOM IS#LIKE THAT IS SACRIFUKINGLIGIOUS THAT IS WRONG#all to put mgg on top SORRY SPENCER REID HE REALLY DID SPECIFY IT TOO EVEN WHEN JK ASKED IM CRYINGGG nOO#HE WAS LIKE ACTUALLY HIS NAME IS dR. SpENcER rEid!!!#like are u kidding...are you JOKING SUPER BEST FRIEND???#SAY!!! SIIIIKE!!!! and jk thought this was cute bc aw u know his name thats so dorky awh--oH IMMM SORRY!!!! *sarcasm vc*#i dIDNT KNOW HE WAS A DOOOOOOCTA MY BAAAD DOES DOOOOCTAH SPENCA REAAAAAD WANT SOME PASTA?!?!#SHOULD I LEEEEEEEAVE YOU TWOOOOOO TO GO ON YOUR DAAAATE?!?! YOU AN yAAAAAA bOOOOYFRIEND?!?!?#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM SOOOOORRY FOR THIRDWHEELiN! ITS NAUGHT LIKE THIS IS MY HOUSE OR MY SB BOYFRIEND OR ANYtHIN!! >>>:/#help oh my god ATE THE FIRST BITE OF PASTA IN FRONT OF HIM EVERYONE WAS LIKE OH MY GOD MY PARENTS#ARE BREAKING UP NOOO RAVESEY NATION WE ARE SO DOWN OH MY GOD THE OTHER HALF WAS SHIPPING#REIDVEN#ravenstan tried to explain....He COULD NOT dkhflshfl so bad so funny RIP he was like wow i came home from a long day#of my internship i made you diNNAh and you put me aT tEN???!! ohhh it was so over oh my god rs was like mI AMOR BESITO BESITO BESITOoOOoOo#YOU ARE SO HANDSOME I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND SMART AND FUNNY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS ( has a shrine )#WOWZA THATS SO CRAZY BABY PLEASE DONT BE MAD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT TE AMOOO PLEASE HAVE I TOLD U HOW HANDSOME U ARE ;-;;;;#insane...he still got his pasta too...jail for life...he did redo the filter and did it until he got jk first put him at one and closed it#i cannot believe it also i love cute domestic apartment husband jk he is the best he really is ravenstan Count Your Days#people joking about them breaking up and foreshadowing it...BRUTAAAAAAL! please note mgg sided w rs in the divorce#and made a video saying i love u to him <3 as a joke <3 bUT I KNOOOOOOW JK WAS PUNCHIN DRYWALL AND SCREAMIN#I KNOW THAT PISSED HIM AWHFF SOOOOO BAD OH MY GOD HE MADE SEVERAL MGG HATE ACCOUNTS#AND TURNED HIS STOMACH WATCHING CM EVEN THO HE HATES THAT SHIT JUST TO COMMENT#ON TIMES SPENCER REID WAS FACTUALLY INACCURATE#my chest hurts but i cant tell if its bc of the bacteria or bc i'm laughing too hard so i won help i love my criminal mind <3
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Still fascinated that the m9 TV shows current official description talks about the beacons + the way they keep bringing up how excited they are to show offscreen political stuff when they're still working on s1. Is the plan to show the assembly (and possibly the dynasty) having political discussions seasons before the nein know or care?? Ik people have been talking about this for essek reasons but im much more interested in the narrative implications of that choice. Early c2 would have a much different feel to it! I'm not sure I'm fully on board with it but it's a very bold choice and I'm really curious how things will work out if they do go down that path
#ofc i know the description could be a temporary one from before they knew the s1 plot outline and they could just be excited for the future#but im just thinking about it because its fun and we dont have much yet#can you imagine knowing the nein could get killed over the beacon and watching them fuck around with it for 2-3 seasons with no consequence#and just seeing crazy stuff go on in the background for that long without the plot focusing on it must be really tense#people have also talked about knowing essek is the traitor from the start which would give new fans a whole different perspective on him#actually you know who would be really to introduce early?? have yeza show up but dont tell us hes notts husband#ik the fact that hes also an alchemist would probably make it kinda obvious#(especially if we see hes got a kid and no partner in sight)#but its still really really funny to think about#again idk if im actually on board with any of this but my point is just how crazy this would be#post not going in the maintag because i feel its very disorderly and i just looked at the tag length and went oh god
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🦴
#blackened bones au just got so wild y'all#mr 'whats a king to a god whats a god to a nonbeliever' jaehaerys targaryen over there who is not king btw#and is instead like a 12 year old hand of the king (sorry tywin) because his oldest brother has a huge case of 'weird flex but okay'#and his extra early elopement and subsequent earlt creation of the doctrine for Reasons#made aegon go you have been promoted u are now one of my elite employees!! took him from cupbearer to hand. as one does#but anyway aegon mr black maegor black magic baby electric boogaloo was unable to produce more than one pregnancy in his wife lol#because the black magic is FUCKED for REASONS (maegor skewed it gay. also for reasons. namely fucking aenys reasons)#and now he has no (male) heir and HE wants to make aerea his heir bc aegon is the chad of this family. also visenya got to him young#rhaena the lesbian is on board for obvious reasons but alyssa is decidedly Not & either is the council bc like. the targs have been wilding#in one decade they balerioned the starry sept and vhagared the sept of remembrance killing like. most of the high ranking sevenists lmao.#lol even. plus jae and aly also eloped cause ofc they did the council was trying to marry her to a hightower. oh and also the doctrine#been a bit of a decade and all that happened in just 9 years. also viserys and lysarra (oc first maegor/aenys daughter) got married#which was the first post doctrine marriage. they're the two crazies. she has a mini balerion. went wonderfully as im sure you can imagine#anyway the targs need to CHILL. give the realm a breather. NOT CHANGE THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF INHERITANCE PRECEDENT.#aegon the chad is not helping them do that. so alyssa uses her big brain. & she's like well aegon is a black magic baby (thnx maegor)#and he's king. so why not get him a Surrogate and make him an heir. for Reasons it can't be any of his fellow maegor black magic babies#(black magic babies can't have kids with each other bc they're barely fertile on their own lol) and his remaining options are aly & vaella#both of whom are out bc they're a) 14 and 11 respectively and also b) married and a future nun. shit happens.#viserys is a no cuz lysarra is Crazy and aegon knows it and respects it. that leaves jaehaerys 😁 the good dutiful fourth son 😁#the og machiavellian propaganda maker 😁 who will do Anything to get what he wants 😁 esp for the good of his house and the Realm 😁#long story short jaehaerys the nonbeliever to hardcore sevenist loser gets valyrian magic gender fuckery & gives birth to the heir <3#a delight to negotiate with alysanne as im sure you understand. truly didn't almost end the marriage he rewrote the law and religion for#shit happens <3 long live the third prince of dragonstone aerys targaryen who is the second shipname baby future king#(the first was aenys. aegon = ae rhaenys = nys. now aegon the uncrowned that WAS crowned named his heir aegon = ae and jaehaerys = rys)#(bc naming his first daughter after aerea and his second after rhaena wasn't enough evidently. he is a crazy person)#(he names the twin [they're twins it is the worst year of jaehaerys's LIFE think renesmee & bella] alystair. for alysanne.)#(he is a crazy person x2.)#and that's on today's episode of:#blackened bones au
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So that apple music top 100 albums list huh
#this is the most blatantly biased list of albums I have ever seen IN MY LIFE#THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL RANKED 74. OUT OF 100. SEVENTY FUCKING FOUR#YOURE RANKING TAKE CARE BY /DRAKE/ IN THE TOP 50 BUT DOWNWARD SPIRAL AT 74. PUTTING KANYE AT 26 ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING#ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME KANYE IS A BETTER PRODUCER THAN TRENT REZNOR???? TRENT FUCKING REZNOR????????????#TRENT REZNOR WHO HAS PRODUCED SOUNDTRACKS FOR MULTIPLE FEATURE FILMS. WHO HAS WON AWARDS FOR HIS PRODUCTION WORK#its so over oh my god we're never coming back#look I know downward spiral gets straight up unpalatable at times but ITS ART. ITS RAW AND ITS VISCERAL AND ITS HIGH ART IM GOING TO BLOW UP#im also a little radiohead HATER so Im already >:/ about them having two albums on here. but people dickride them like crazy so I can see it#not to say that like. they didnt redefine alt rock as a genre like I will admit that they did. i just think theyre overrated#also yeah ofc the beatles have two albums on here because everyone loves mid apparently#anyway Ive been making myself mad about this so time will pass at work so once the clock strikes 4pm est I no longer give a shit#cal.txt
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extremely fucked up realizing joe and dara literally met before what i call their first meeting. they technically didnt talk to each other or otherwise interact much at all but they WERE both at lily and april's wedding
#i dont think either of them would recognize each other when they officially met so this doesnt change anything#but its fucking me up anyways#like oh shit. oh my god they were both there huh#im sure april and lily introduced dara to him then but they were like. rapid fire introducing her to Everyone#so saying 'hi nice to meet you' was probably as far as that went SFGSFHFHSDGHDGJ#they didnt knowwww. they didnt know they'd be falling head over heels for each other a year later#crazy how that works#text#the deathspeaker#joe#dara#april and lily probably invited her as a joke (they'd both been working there for about 2 months)#but then she actually showed up. she wasn't sure if it'd be too rude to say no#she literally was just going 🧍♂️ the whole time she barely even knew the couple getting married AGFSFVDGBN#it was good for her tho cause april and lily decided she was now bonded with them for life. bffs forever
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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love being crazy. never a dull moment
#its ridiculous how i present myself and my symptoms so neatly sorted VERSUS how i actually experience that shit first-hand#we were doing some grounding safe-space exercise with my doc today n i was you know. imagining the places#n then out of nowhere i saw -her- there. i dont know why it felt so surprising but... she came for me and i was so... touched#like i... think i just... i didnt know she was real? i thought. god this sounds so miserable but i really thought i was making her do this#even though weve been talking for years and shes been my comfort. but i think its cuz she came when i didnt expect her and she just took my#hand and i. i did feel safe#it did feel like a safe space. but then i was so shocked by this whole thing that i forgot why we were even doing this exercise in the firs#place n my doc was like so! what did you see : ) n i know i could. have been quiet but i guess we were trying to mask less and i was still#so shocked that i really just told her. yes doc i... saw a... a friend. shes been with me for a while now but i was still thinking shes jus#a character or something. but she came to me and she told me she cared and im just so happy that shes real bcs i love her#ive loved her and i thought i was making her stay but she wanted to stay with me! bcs she loved me too!!#and i was like trying not to spontaneously cry bcs i legit was NOT expecting any of that. and i was also ... actually i dont think i though#abt it feeling cringe. even tho it. is a little difficult... but i DID think about how strange it felt to be honest abt it with a doctor#bcs its like... with the docs ive had and life in general its always...not about being honest but abt HOW WILL SAYING THIS HELP ME GET X#and yeah i dont trust them. even tho i... trust these doctors i guess. theyve been handling it well for years. they admit the system#still it feels so damn unsafe to mention anything cuz how crazy is TOO crazy for a person with power over you... anyway i do trust the doc#n she knew. but its still weirdddd to mention shit abt it that is not life or death. but it was so out of nowhere and i was so happy like#KATRIN!!! KATRIN SHES REAL!! SHES REAL OH GOD SHES ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME IM GOING TO CRY!!!! WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABT
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