#gods please just stop existing
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fuck fuck fuck you! You stole my friend from me and I can never get her back without seeming like a giant bitch
#mood log#sqeak#gods please just stop existing#still mad you recognized an abuser in my life and then went to HIM after we broke up#did he ever tell you how he pulled the same shit i did#threatening to take his own life#lmao and then when I was moving out his mom told me to kms!#did he tell you about how he managed to get all my friends on his side?#simply because I was manic?#Ugh I should just block your insta so I dont have to think about you anymore#your continued existence actively distresses me#*deep breath* its okay its okay… ultimately it is me who wins bc I could just go to Disneyland rn if I want to#something you will never be a part of 😌💖#I still want my friend back
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Damian, still fresh to the family, but actually starting to warm up to the idea of them actually being his family, looks up online 'how to be a good little brother.'
He finds all sorts of things like, "using cuteness to get what you want from your elder siblings" (lame, no way that works) "fake extra tears when they punch you so your parents buy you icecream and whatever else you want" (why on EARTH would he want anyone think he could be so weak?) etc, but he also sees stuff about Pranks, sibling fights (in the sense of "you know they're real siblings because they'll throw hands one minute, then 5 minutes later be laughing watching tv together like nothing happened"), and concepts like Sibling Code (like, absolute secrecy between siblings toward their parents, threatening potential heartbreakers, etc).
Cue him pulling pranks, like leaving lego everywhere and waiting for his shoeless family to step on them, hiding things that the others need (like, right now), sneaking things into the batcave that shouldn't be in the batcave, throwing himself at his siblings to brawl without any reason and then promptly stopping also with no reason (and wondering why they won't spend time with him to bond afterward), planning out how to threaten a literal magic space princess (Kori, who would probably find it very cute if he actually made it that far), hiding Literally Very Important information about his siblings from Bruce and Alfred because he's not a snitch, and he is a great little brother. (he's going to get an A in Little Brother which is something totally normal to want and achieve)
He eventually gets BIG scolded for his constant misbehaviour, though. Bruce and Dick are asking why he's going off the rails so much when he doesn't even seem particularly angry anymore - in fact, sometimes he even seems fairly content! Is there an issue they're unaware of? Something he's not expressing to the family? They're not mad if there's a problem, they just want to help!
So, of course, he then has to embarrassingly explain that he was just following little brother protocol, according to.. the internet. He gets bullied about it for weeks by his elders (to different degrees), since the internet is not going to help anyone be a better sibling, but they also each try to explain (in their own ways) (their own waynes) why he was so, so very wrong about the way he approached being a good sibling, so he can hopefully improve at it (and stop terrorising the household).
(I saw a meme post about Damian putting legos all over the floor + hiding Tim's shoes to harm him and it made me think of the concept)
(Also once he learns that acting extra cute really can get him what he wants, he tries to use it now and then to his advantage, but is hilariously bad at doing it, since he doesn't really have a grasp on what makes a younger sibling cute (which is.... literally just existing,, according to me, a middle child). Lucky for him the others eat up every attempt because it's so obvious what he's doing that it becomes cute to them, so he doesn't need to get real practice with it until he tries to use it on a non-bat who laughs at him for far too long about it and thusly brews fire in him to go back to the pranks he tried at the start of the little brother training montage and show them real sibling pain for making a fool of him.)
#me on this account: 'batfam time' me on the art account : 'batfam time'#you can say what you want about me but you CANNOT say I'm neurotypical#the strength it took to type neurotypical on my keyboard.... you have no idea.... for someone who literally had to attend touch type class.#I cannote type#I'd like to think Jason and Cass would hit him with the 'a good little brother would go get me a soda right now' concepts to#assert the older sibling dominance that CAUSES the sibling fights (it works)#Duke Steph and Dick are just like 'when you are just yourself that's when you're being a good little brother' and Tim#is like (throwing up noises) about it#Tim is the guy that secretly wishes he was the family baby but sadly he is not and so he's gotta act that way to hide it (poorly)#he is baby to me though sorry baby#barbara sends him memes about sibling life to prove that since he can relate to them he in fact HAS been a good little brother all along#or at least a fairly normal one#batman#batfam#damian wayne#sorry for this everyone I can't stop thinking about these bats#I wrote this in a haze forgive grammar spelling thinking everything just god please forgive me let me go I hate hyperfixating#I'm sure this concept already exists btw but I'm not sorry for also thinking about it I am simply high fiving the other believers
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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.
Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!
It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.
#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do#she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself#her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be#or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug#and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better#4.2 spoilers#genshin impact#furina
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god what I wouldn’t do for the kids of DC heroes who disappeared in the universe reboots to come back
#personal#dc#Chris Kent#Rani Carter#didn’t know Helen Jordan exists but now I do#please for the love of god#DC just loves to traumatize families huh#stop making more Robins#I love Maps but she really doesn’t need to be Robin#let Damian keep the Robin mantle#please
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#no artistry#just victorian river monster Finn pestering a brooding poet Avery until he stops writing... holds him down and tickles him with his quill#Like... his finned ears flapping and wiggling as the feather runs along them#Making him giggle and squeal as Avery traces it along his neck#Causing Avery to finally smile for the first time in days and breaking him out of his writer's block#Okay okay OKAY I'm done I'm off the stuff for good#Please dear god I don't need another AU when I haven't even fleshed out the existing ones or finished my main story AAAAAAUGHHHHHH#brainrot
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My relationship with Blake as a character:
-I hate yanderes this is going to be awful
-Okay I kinda get him
-I think he's going to be the second yandere character I actually find tolerable wow
-CAN WE PLEASE JUST KILL HIM? I GENUINELY HATE THIS GUY CAN WE PLEASE KILL HIM?
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted blake#redacted balance#yes i'm being genuine#if i wasn't this invested in sunshine and elliott's story i would have stopped listening to his whiney ass already#also just as a disclaimer#hate-able characters are great#i like that they exist#i enjoy bad people that i actually dislike#like katsuki bakugou for example (no i haven't watched mha in years don't tell me he's suddenly a good person)#but god can blake just shut the hell up please
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someone please tell me a remote job that an idiot can do that pays like $100 an hour.
#haha. i wrote up a whole vent post about how much life sucks and i wanna stop existing#but i threw that bad boy away bc y'all don't need to see behind the curtain lol#uh seriously though. if you know anything an idiot with no education or experience could do remotely. please god let me know#i am tired of living like this but looking on those job websites only serves to make me sort of... suicidal. like i can't do that right now#also i'm sorry i have a lot of asks again and i don't have the energy to answer right now.#i honestly would like to just lie down and forget i'm a person. but alas. i can't do that.#sigh#diaerie#dep
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#whew. this sucks#i.... hhh#well. im... sad.#and scared. and painful. and lonely.#just really running the whole gambit of shit right now.#and fuck I'm just so tired.#so so so so so tired.#everything keeps happening. Just. Over and over and over and over#i cannot get a break#i don't feel like I've truly rested in months#im out of my program now. and....#......i dunno. maybe my memory just fucking sucks. but i feel like im worse#i feel like i didn't even go.#three weeks of memory. down the drain.#like it didn't exist.#i cried a lot. I know that. Breakdowns constantly.#it's all gone though. I don't remember it#........gods you have no clue how.....petrifying that is.#........am i even alive?#Did i kill myself weeks ago and i just don't know it yet?#i feel so alone#im so tired.#....I'm so tired......#.............please let me rest...... im so so tired........#........when can i stop...?
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“You know what’s going to be great detective? After I beat Barry in the race and prove that I’m the fastest man alive on any Earth, he’s gonna rot in a cage just like the one Jay’s in now.”
I have not gone a day in my life since hearing this line without thinking about it.
The CW wrote this and expected me to NOT fixate on it till the end of time??
#obligatory trophy tag#introducing you to the line that created my entire fic#obsessed with this fucking line#please say it’s not just me#bad end au’s are my favorite thing in existence#and this line gives that AU SO MUCH POTENTIAL#will forever be obsessing over this#how has no one else written a zoom wins au with this#god I hope I did it justice#I’ll stop now#zoom#hunter zolomon#the flash#the flash 2x23#the race of his life#my posts#lines from the flash that I hyperfixate on so much it takes physical restraint to not start a fic#<- yeah I lost that battle long before this was even posted lmao
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10th circle of hell is being in fandoms where the female character gets in the way of the gay ship. the amount of fucking awful takes i've seen, especially when they have a "not bashing, just airing valid grievances" type of disclaimer and you just know they'd never judge one of the guys in their ship as harshly. let women be annoying. let women have lapses in their judgement. let women be imperfect and stop picking them apart for the heinous crime of being there, for fuck's sake
#prattledisaster#also like. polyamory exists#anyway obviously everyone can interact with fiction and fictional characters how they choose#but you know. sometimes the way people interact with fiction is fucking annoying#please i just want to read a fic that isn't just the author not-so-covertly using their art to express their stupid ass opinions#and the author's notes. god. don't even get me started on those#and like sometimes i don't even give a shit about the woman character myself#sometimes i'm just there for the angst#but it still rankles me so much even then#especially when the author's dislike of her becomes so apparent that it results in a 'he would not fucking say that' type situation#stop using my beloved blorbo as a voice for your bullshit takes#uGH
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a fanfic pet peeve of mine are people who tag ocxcanon fiction as an x reader/self-insert fic... those are not x readers I'm afraid...
#how the hell am i supposed to idk SELF INSERT#x reader#self insert#fanfiction#fanfic#fanfic pet peeves#please for the love of god the /original character tag exists... stop tagging it as /reader#ive seen numerous fics with good premises in character/reader tags just to end up being an ocxcanon#i have no problem w oc x canon#i used to be an oc x canon shipper but please i hate this behaviour sm
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i wish i had the balls to want to kill myself
#sightings#i know itll get better but when#when am i going to feel like im loved when am i going to feel like people care when am i going to feel like itll work out#i know nobodys a mind reader but i want someone to try#i cant keep doing this im fghting so hard for people to care about me pay attention to me if i just stopped talking nobody would notice#ivw already been talking less. in servers and what have you#i know nobody is picking up on it#and i know im being unfair but so fucking what#everything is unfair and i think i should be able to take a bit of that out everywhere else#god#i just want to be the center of someones world i want to be someones priority#i am nobodys priority. there will be someone who is loved more. i feel like my existence revolves around whether or not im pleasing others#if you read this far fucking hats off to you i guess. im going to bed.
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"why are people mad about AI being pushed on them when they SHOULD be mad about all the privacy erosion??"
1) plenty of us bitches are mad and annoyed about both, actually.
2) the privacy erosion has become the normalized state of existence for the average person for the last 10 fucking years at least, its snuck in, they disguise it as Convenient Features to Help You Shop Better, and thats IF they bother telling you theyre doing it, instead of just opting all your shit in without asking, its so fucking normalized that yeah, a lot of people do not bother to question it, they just sigh in resignation and go, yeah, i guess, do i even have other options? and they do, but theyre an investment of learning and time you dont have capacity for at the moment, or maybe you do but you feel like you dont bc it feels like a bigger hurdle than it is, and computer stuff is already kind of intimidating, cos man, what if you hit the wrong thing and brick your expensive ass machine? easier to just let it data harvest, you guess, it cant be THAT bad, can it? plenty of people live like this, put up with this, seek this out, its easier not to resist the privacy erosion. fucking whatever, i guess. yeah, i guess twitter i mean X, or walmart, or facebook, can just have all of my contact info and my phone number and my birthday and phone contacts and bank information and fuck it, give them my ssn while im at it. less effort later. this is just how tech has been for the last 10 yrs. no one can effectively get rage clicks on this topic anymore bc we all fucking know. it sucks and we know. what do you want me to fucking do about it? i have other shit to deal with more urgently. etc
3)
you cant turn anything on or log onto anything or go anywhere without hearing about whatever new shit theyre throwing AI at for no real reason, no one will fucking Shut Up about AI, and its Annoying, man
#toy txt post#toy pic post#image id in alt text#im so fucking Tired of hearing about it and in applications that make no sense cos they made the thing and are now trying to justify its#existence and cost instead of like. creating it to actually meet a need.#im annoyed at both of these things everytime i turn on the god damn computer#i keep getting texts about upgrading my phone to get one of the new AI models. man. i dont want that#i dont want it bc theyre as invasive as ever and the ai shit is stupid and i dont want it#AND YES. THERE ARE GOOD AND USEFUL AND DECENT APPLICATIONS AND USES FOR AI. I KNOW. ITS NOT ALL BAD#BUT MOST OF THE FUCKING CHATTER ABOUT IT IS ANNOYING AND THE INTERNET IS AS FILLED AS EVER WITH MEANINGLESS BULLSHIT#WHETHER IT BE AI GENERATED OR JUST TALKING ABOUT THEIR NEW BULLSHIT GENERATOR 3000. PLEASE DOWNLOAD#TO JUSTIFY THE VENTURE CAPITAL#man ppl are tired of it all. we want to opt out of it all#and some dont even want to bother.#and then theres ppl like my mom who no. i cant convince her the privacy erosion is a problem bc on an individual level she doesnt care#but i could convince her hopefully to be wary of 'answers' from ai and that they generate slop and if anyone asks you for money for ai shit#lmao Dont. okay#and at this point ill take that as a wij#win#and honestly the privacy erosion at this point. needs. legislative shit. legislative shit that isnt just 'oh the companies were data#harvesting teens? well if the companies stop giving that info to advertisers and instead give it to Their Parents. and also give them full#control of their accounts and everything the kids see. well that fixes it. no. god#its a big stupid messy problem that is gonna suck to fix and so far anyone who talks about fixing it on a mass scale is a fucking hack#who is fear mongering to exert more control over kids man it all sucks so bad. and it sucks more cos it doesnt Have To#it Could be good! computers could be good again. the answer is not necessarily everyone download linux bc thats not going to happen#maybe more ppl should and that would be good for us. yes. like idk teach it in school or some shit. but that cant be the only thing you do#windows and Microsoft and apple should not be retroactively fucking up the products they have monopolized into everyones homes & businesses#they should not be ABLE to do this. idkeverything sucks and is stupid and that sucks and is stupid and you all are complaining about dumb#rubes getting mad at the wrong thing and falling for ai fear mongering instead of being like. why are the bitches who are turning every god#damn computer into inherent spyware also shotgunning money into ai amd articles hyping up about ai
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nah but why tf they bringing mama to la?
#like i WISH they would stop trying to make kpop something western#not in that i don’t wish these artists to share their art globally#but rather stop holding them to the standard that international (which i mean AMERICAN) recognition is some true tell of artistry or w/e#like fuckkkkkkkk let the korean idols speak and sing in korean#hold asian music award shows in ASIA!!!!!!!!!!!#like this is honestly not being anti bringing kpop and asian culture to the US and more of#oh my fucking god the US does not decide who good artists are!! like fuck the capitalism in it all and fuck the push to westernize kpop#these artists deserve so much ducking better than being held to the standard that US recognition is the Goal#fuck a grammy fuck a lolapaloozachella#NO SERIOUSLY like good for them for performing on those stages but also FUCK EM???#and this isn’t even TOUCHING the fact that asian artists exist outside of KPOP#but anyways#why the fuck#i mean i kind of ~know why~#but yeah idk how to explain………………………… beyond capitalism sucks and this is the inverse of them promoting korean culture through#the global reach of kpop and sort of just……… whitewashing it#not the exact word but yeah#and blah blah blah no i’m not trying to be exclusionary about it#like even without all of the previous tags please tell me!!!! why would they host an asian music award show in not asia?!??!!?!??!!#like it makes NO SENSE#like what they’re gonna host the american music awards in australia?????#alison speaks?#to delete
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I bring to you, actual art but it’s me trying to replicate my friend @spaceshmuck’s art style
✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽
#whimsy whispers#crystalart.png#others ocs#strand von zarovich#curse of strand#space tag#GOD this was so difficult and I don’t even feel like I did that good a job but it was also fun#also hi I’m not gonna shut up about my art program crashing and this corrupting right as I was almost finished with it I need people to know#that the universe tried to stop this from existing >:| I did not spend hours going ‘is this how it would draw hands’ and cursing myself for#the damn art to not see the light of day#anyways please look at my friends art it’s SO good like god I’m jealous of its art style and character designs >:’)#like literally such lovely art y’all will check it out because I said so and my word is like law or whatever#I’m like writing these at 4:25zm on a Monday and like this won’t even be posted for another week or so but like#sorry if I’m especially stupid rn I didn’t wanna go to sleep yet so I’m saving drafts and listening to off the wall magical! on loop#y’all should also check out junie & thehutfriends because I find their music fun#just listen to me when I tell you to look at ppls art because I have good taste okay? you can trust me I’m holding your hand and we’re going#to have fun I prommy#also please do not talk about the background it was one of the things I was gonna work on when the art program crashed#the only thing I fixed after that was minor mistakes like not colouring in buttons#anyways ily pretty vampire man and ily my dear friend who’s art style vexes me 💖
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Man I just give up.
#dora daily#if only there was a way to just stop everything#idk if I want to die but I want everything to stop#like so many times I go out or smth and something bad happens#or I get triggered in public and I try so hard not to lose myself and start drama in public but I just can’t#every time I show any emotion people start laughing#I can’t even try to stop myself from bawling in the middle of the store without someone#just being so insensitive and rude and diminishing how I feel#you know I say I’m never mad and that is true bc I may seem mad a lot online but I’m not like this irl#but for the first time I actually got mad at someone irl and I was literally gonna beat him#I was genuinely seething so bad it’s not fair and things keep getting worse and worse#I was so close to just throwing this stupid phone and shattering it and ripping up those dumbass#birthday cards they sell in the store#and that stupid bitch of a sister I have is so fucking stupid#she sees someone anxious and incredibly upset and she acts like that ? fuck her#like bro idek how I have lived for this long and idek why I don’t go and just overdose on SOMETHING right now because#logically speaking I should just give up#but I don’t know why I can’t#like please my life is literal shit okay is replying on time so hard for you to fucking do so I don’t go even more insane fuck all of youuuu#UGHHHDJSOS#I SWEAR TO GOD I am so sick of this just you all wait#none of you deserve normal treatment all you deserve is something even worse than ghosting#just you wait let this stupid semester end and I’ll deactivate my socials go speak to the fucking wall you morons#you think I’m gonna wait around what are you paying me to be here ? if anything IM paying with my sanity#like if this was related to a spouse who was a billionaire but he was treating me as shittily as you guys treat me then I’ll say fine#at least I’m getting something out of this transaction who gives a fuck#but im not getting paid#im not receiving support#I’m getting laughed at and ignored#and used only at YOUR CONVENIENCE !!! what the FUCK ! I don’t exist for anyone and certainly not yall even if I did.
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