#gods please just stop existing
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fuck fuck fuck you! You stole my friend from me and I can never get her back without seeming like a giant bitch
#mood log#sqeak#gods please just stop existing#still mad you recognized an abuser in my life and then went to HIM after we broke up#did he ever tell you how he pulled the same shit i did#threatening to take his own life#lmao and then when I was moving out his mom told me to kms!#did he tell you about how he managed to get all my friends on his side?#simply because I was manic?#Ugh I should just block your insta so I dont have to think about you anymore#your continued existence actively distresses me#*deep breath* its okay its okay… ultimately it is me who wins bc I could just go to Disneyland rn if I want to#something you will never be a part of 😌💖#I still want my friend back
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When you wanna talk about your fav but he only show himself every two blue moons and when he does he either talks about his ex or tells the realest shit known to man just to then dissapear for another 5 weeks (or month, you never know) again.
#Yes i am infact talking about#nico rosberg#please#FOR THE LOVE OF GODDD#stop acting like you dont exist for 3 weeks straight#I adore you talking about lewis like hes your god but its starting to get annoying#JUST KISS AND MAKE UP FOR FUCKS SAKE#brocedes
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i had time to play a decent amount today and actually further the main quest & companion quests and. i dont have anything eloquent to say this time and im not feeling generous anymore... taash's writing sucks dogshit
#even if i ignore the whole. Solely Existing To Teach The Player What Nonbinary Means#their character is wildly inconsistent#they are constantly picking on other companions to a point that it's literally grating to have them in a party with some of them#namecalling emmrich and getting an entire scene about it and no one seems to realize how silly it looks to have#mx 'you dont get to tell me who i am'#repeatedly calling emmrich by names he doesn't like#same with calling davrin a spirit and saying shit like 'don't be ashamed of who you are' all sarcastic i just know they#felt sooo smug writing that line#also please god stop saying nonbinary it is so immersion breaking it's awful. i hate to say it but it's literally making me cringe#god i want to like them so bad. but i think taash and harding are the worst writing in the game#taash i want to like at least but i straight up hate harding lmao especially playing as an elf. why am i apologizing ?#and you literally cant call her out on any of it. soo frustrating#datv spoilers#datv critical#da posting
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me when all my selfships are very popularly shipped with other characters (I hate canon sharing)
#this is mostly about a certain YELLOW BOT. however its true for all my f/os and i kind of hate it#i feel like crawling into a corner every time i open anybodys tag cause its all CANON SHIP STUFF.#and obv you can ship whatever u wanna. but my god does it make me feel like getting rubbed the wrong way with sandpaper#i just want to see my guy please ffs stop shoving this other guy in the picture with him i hate it here#ik i literally reblogged a post about this this morning but i am not having a good time rn#like y'all I literally cannot even follow jonns tag bc the ship stuff is so fucking bad in there#i cant look at it anymore#and i am REALLY struggling w blitzys tag. i want to see him so bad and im just getting beat to death#sorry chat im miserable and havent had anyone to yap at all day im going insane im afraid#proship selfship#proselfship#ratkingrambles#and like most of my guys im fine. like i ship vox and al hardcore. i love remy and rogue. meg and doom are cute.#like yk i generally am fine but holy fuck its like my two ACTUAL HUSBANDS exist just to be shipped with other characters ??????????#the only two i actively hate sharing and every post about them is ship stuff pls i cant do this anymore#okay im done i just needed to bitch for a minute#i may be pro fiction but my god am i gonna start biting people for these ships anyway back the fuck UP
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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.
Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!
It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.
#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do#she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself#her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be#or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug#and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better#4.2 spoilers#genshin impact#furina
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god what I wouldn’t do for the kids of DC heroes who disappeared in the universe reboots to come back
#personal#dc#Chris Kent#Rani Carter#didn’t know Helen Jordan exists but now I do#please for the love of god#DC just loves to traumatize families huh#stop making more Robins#I love Maps but she really doesn’t need to be Robin#let Damian keep the Robin mantle#please
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Yanno, it’s a little intimidating to see people I follow suddenly liking and rebloging stuff on my blogs. Like. You aren’t supposed to know I exist. What are you doing in my house?
@howlsofbloodhounds and @sirsquidsalot you two in particular Who said that. Def not me. Nope. I didn’t tag you. Tumblr is weird it must have done that itself. Yep. Definitely
#god I am a mess#I mean it’s awesome#but also#what are you doing#you’re cool#im just rambling and being a weird little raccoon over here#stop it#(please don’t omg you’re amazing and acknowledging my existence)#but also wtf are you doing#you know who you are#yeah I’m looking at you
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#no artistry#just victorian river monster Finn pestering a brooding poet Avery until he stops writing... holds him down and tickles him with his quill#Like... his finned ears flapping and wiggling as the feather runs along them#Making him giggle and squeal as Avery traces it along his neck#Causing Avery to finally smile for the first time in days and breaking him out of his writer's block#Okay okay OKAY I'm done I'm off the stuff for good#Please dear god I don't need another AU when I haven't even fleshed out the existing ones or finished my main story AAAAAAUGHHHHHH#brainrot
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if i see one more “el will cease to exist at the end of st5” theory, i’m going to start hunting people for sport
#how do you Not see how it’s 1) misogynistic and gross to make her exist solely for will’s (or byler’s) sake#and 2) just Doesn’t Make Sense within the overall themes and tone of the show and how they treat their characters#‘I do not belong’ means she doesn’t belong and will stop existing? BRRRR EXTREMELY INCORRECT BUZZER SOUND#did we just forget that this show is about outcasts and underdogs having a right to exist in the world as outcasts and underdogs#and that’s not even getting into the extreme case presented to us about henry and his iterations#like. grabbing people by the shoulders. your theories have to SAY SOMETHING about the show AS A WHOLE#it needs to somewhat BLANKET APPLY to the whole thing. for the love of god. THINK of the bigger picture#see the forest through the trees. please.#i say things
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My relationship with Blake as a character:
-I hate yanderes this is going to be awful
-Okay I kinda get him
-I think he's going to be the second yandere character I actually find tolerable wow
-CAN WE PLEASE JUST KILL HIM? I GENUINELY HATE THIS GUY CAN WE PLEASE KILL HIM?
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted blake#redacted balance#yes i'm being genuine#if i wasn't this invested in sunshine and elliott's story i would have stopped listening to his whiney ass already#also just as a disclaimer#hate-able characters are great#i like that they exist#i enjoy bad people that i actually dislike#like katsuki bakugou for example (no i haven't watched mha in years don't tell me he's suddenly a good person)#but god can blake just shut the hell up please
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someone please tell me a remote job that an idiot can do that pays like $100 an hour.
#haha. i wrote up a whole vent post about how much life sucks and i wanna stop existing#but i threw that bad boy away bc y'all don't need to see behind the curtain lol#uh seriously though. if you know anything an idiot with no education or experience could do remotely. please god let me know#i am tired of living like this but looking on those job websites only serves to make me sort of... suicidal. like i can't do that right now#also i'm sorry i have a lot of asks again and i don't have the energy to answer right now.#i honestly would like to just lie down and forget i'm a person. but alas. i can't do that.#sigh#diaerie#dep
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#whew. this sucks#i.... hhh#well. im... sad.#and scared. and painful. and lonely.#just really running the whole gambit of shit right now.#and fuck I'm just so tired.#so so so so so tired.#everything keeps happening. Just. Over and over and over and over#i cannot get a break#i don't feel like I've truly rested in months#im out of my program now. and....#......i dunno. maybe my memory just fucking sucks. but i feel like im worse#i feel like i didn't even go.#three weeks of memory. down the drain.#like it didn't exist.#i cried a lot. I know that. Breakdowns constantly.#it's all gone though. I don't remember it#........gods you have no clue how.....petrifying that is.#........am i even alive?#Did i kill myself weeks ago and i just don't know it yet?#i feel so alone#im so tired.#....I'm so tired......#.............please let me rest...... im so so tired........#........when can i stop...?
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“You know what’s going to be great detective? After I beat Barry in the race and prove that I’m the fastest man alive on any Earth, he’s gonna rot in a cage just like the one Jay’s in now.”
I have not gone a day in my life since hearing this line without thinking about it.
The CW wrote this and expected me to NOT fixate on it till the end of time??
#obligatory trophy tag#introducing you to the line that created my entire fic#obsessed with this fucking line#please say it’s not just me#bad end au’s are my favorite thing in existence#and this line gives that AU SO MUCH POTENTIAL#will forever be obsessing over this#how has no one else written a zoom wins au with this#god I hope I did it justice#I’ll stop now#zoom#hunter zolomon#the flash#the flash 2x23#the race of his life#my posts#lines from the flash that I hyperfixate on so much it takes physical restraint to not start a fic#<- yeah I lost that battle long before this was even posted lmao
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10th circle of hell is being in fandoms where the female character gets in the way of the gay ship. the amount of fucking awful takes i've seen, especially when they have a "not bashing, just airing valid grievances" type of disclaimer and you just know they'd never judge one of the guys in their ship as harshly. let women be annoying. let women have lapses in their judgement. let women be imperfect and stop picking them apart for the heinous crime of being there, for fuck's sake
#prattledisaster#also like. polyamory exists#anyway obviously everyone can interact with fiction and fictional characters how they choose#but you know. sometimes the way people interact with fiction is fucking annoying#please i just want to read a fic that isn't just the author not-so-covertly using their art to express their stupid ass opinions#and the author's notes. god. don't even get me started on those#and like sometimes i don't even give a shit about the woman character myself#sometimes i'm just there for the angst#but it still rankles me so much even then#especially when the author's dislike of her becomes so apparent that it results in a 'he would not fucking say that' type situation#stop using my beloved blorbo as a voice for your bullshit takes#uGH
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POOKIE'S DEAD. :( CRODE.
They went and showed his whole backstory too like?!?! His whole point to live is to die in battle!?! FUCKKK WHAT THE HELL TIT.E KUBO WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO SO HARD ON THIS UGLY SEXIST MOTHERFUCKER
.......can I even finish Bleach with him gone...... I'm much more devastated than I thought I'd be...... They went so hard on his death...... Like oh man you didn't have to rip my heart out......
#that's Precisely why he died and kenpachi lived. Kenpachi didn't like dying. and Nnoitra's whole purpose was to die.#oh okay I'm tearing up again as i write this that's fine.#he's fucking dead. i thought it'd be like the others where it's just like. That's a wrap! NO THEY DOVE INTO HIM.#HIS ONLY GOAL IS TO DIE IN THE BATTLEFIELD. HE SHOWS NO MERCY TO ANYONE.#ALSO THE CUT TO NNOITRA AND NEL MEETING EYES FOR ONE FINAL MOMENT BEFORE HIS DEATH#?#TESSRA CRYING AS NNOITRA DIED?? LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD BUT HE WAS SO :( HE WAS CRYING BEYOND HIS GRAVE????#NNOITRA. NNOITRA YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME NNOITRA.#i cant save him guys his whole life is to die in battle. can i even convince him out of that.#He's doomed himself. Oh My Fucking God. NNOITRAAAAA#FROWNING EMOOOJI. NNOITRA.#i dont know if i can save him guys i think he doomed himself. he's so stubborn. He's the most stubborn motherfucker alive.#Nel and Kenpachi both wanted to stop when he was 'defeated' but he was still breathing. to him a battle isn't over till someone's dead.#he doesn't want to be seen as weak. he hates pity. his inferiority complex goes so fucking hard.??#maybe not inferiority but. Insecurity. he's so. o my Fucking Lord.#head in hands.#can i even watch bleach after this.#THE MOST. FUNNY PART. IS THAT. WITHOUT KNOWING. I'M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THE VOLUME HE DIES.#PAST ME BOUGHT THE VOLUME HE DIES IN. I'M PRETTY SURE. OR AT LEAST.#THE VOLUME RIGHT BEFORE HE DIES.#OKAY I SKIMMED. HE TOTALLY DIES IN THIS ONE#OH MY GOD. PAST ME. PAST ME. FUCK YOU PAST ME. YOU GOT THE VOLUME HE FUCKING DIES IN.#YOU IDIOT. YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW NNOITRA EXISTED AT THAT POINT. YOU GOT THE VOLUME HE FUCKING DIES IN.#FUUUUUUUUCKK#I'm gonna kill him one million times over I fucking hate this guy#writers on ao3 i beg that you made him happy i hope you made him happy please give him joy in his life ao3 writers please i need him happy.#sobbing.#not drinking bleach#spoon cloak
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i wish i had the balls to want to kill myself
#sightings#i know itll get better but when#when am i going to feel like im loved when am i going to feel like people care when am i going to feel like itll work out#i know nobodys a mind reader but i want someone to try#i cant keep doing this im fghting so hard for people to care about me pay attention to me if i just stopped talking nobody would notice#ivw already been talking less. in servers and what have you#i know nobody is picking up on it#and i know im being unfair but so fucking what#everything is unfair and i think i should be able to take a bit of that out everywhere else#god#i just want to be the center of someones world i want to be someones priority#i am nobodys priority. there will be someone who is loved more. i feel like my existence revolves around whether or not im pleasing others#if you read this far fucking hats off to you i guess. im going to bed.
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