#gods i hope no one sees this
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I'm ngl I'm not doing well at all right now and I don't know where else to vent about it without bothering people, but I feel like this account is kinda dead so it'll be like shouting into the void lol.
My anxiety is so bad I'm having trouble functioning. Like my body is just... not having it right now. All I want to do is sleep but sleep makes me feel sick, and my usual distractions aren't working. I feel paranoid that everything good in my life is about to be swept away from me and I'm scared of losing the people I love, and I don't know how to combat those feelings. I probably need to be talking to a professional about this but finding a therapist is so daunting and I'm scared i'll just be judged for not having it bad enough to need therapy.
Idk what the point even is of posting this, I guess just as a record of sorts. Maybe one day I'll be doing better and I can look back on this and think about how far I've come.
11.11.24
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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even if I came to love humanity in the end, there’s no proof I was ever here, right?
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#my art#slow downer lyrics..i am applying them to dokja#please..i cant put the entire song lyrics but my god#'i called out an incoherent name in this new old world'#'i loiter in paradise the hope i was accustomed to blocked off my path of retreat'#literally agonised me#maybe this doesnt even make sense#the yjhs standing on the subway yellow lines overlooking the edge#but i kinda lost the plot here#its ok#havent even finished orv yet but whenever i think about the very concept of dokja i lowkey kms in my head for 80000 years#also 52hz's 'a dreamless sleep'#i guess just the sense of being untethered to the world with just this one thing keeping you still here#hits me hard#wait i linked the original slow downer version but obviously (see username) the niigo one is leagues better
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your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)
#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#coming face to face with the consequences of acting out of love - marcille u will always be famous#dunmeshi is really a series that keeps on moving bc it's about so many different characters and centered on the journey#rather than like... introspectively on one singular individual so i dont think we see marcille dwell on it but we can see her fatigue#her shock and surprise in the recent ep “don't hurt her she's just confused” Gah. desperately trying to grasp everything thats going on and#not to lose hope. bc undoubtedly the remains she put together was falin's - that short moment of reprieve the party had was with falin#she was able to bring her back her magic did it!! but the violence the fatal swings was not falin at all.#just pondering about holding that guilt... it's such a huge responsibility to be in charge of life in the first place and yet it is#a burden she'll keep trudging with. defying the natural orders to keep the people she love alive... i Lauv her...#also shared sentiment with the rest of the fandom but God. Chimera Falin... she is Everything....#ruporas art
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IT'S FALIGON DAY BABYYYYYY I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS DAY SINCE 2018 WE'RE POPPIN MASSIVE BOTTLES 🥳🎉🐉🍾🍻🔥
#these are all meant to be transparent but tumblr isn't allowing that oh well lol#it's yesterday when I'm scheduling this and god I'm so excited for the episode#it's really good right guys I know it will be#man I envy you future people getting to see the episode today#I still got one more sleep till faligon 😩#anyways I'm rly proud of these hope u like 💖#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#oh man I won't have to tag spoilers on faligon anymore after today how exciting#my art#falin touden#falin dungeon meshi#chimera falin#faligon
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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Peri was very upset about a lot of things that happened. Within a span of a week, he felt like his entire life has changed for the worst!! He had a dumb bulb on his wand, Timmy was still moving away, and he had to go to a school far from everyone he knew!!!
Of course, the cause and trigger of those emotions was Timmy. But Peri can’t blame his older brother for any of that. So the next logical conclusion for a small child to reach was to blame his parents instead!!! And boy did he blame a lot on his parents.
Many of Peri’s actions in his childhood stems from misplaced grief and anger. By the time he was old enough to know better, Peri got a mixture of stubbornness and a bruised ego to admit he was wrong for how he reacted.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Instability: [Start] > [Previous] > [END]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop peri#peri#fop irep#irep#asks#itty bitties fop au#one of peri and timmy's many shared promises was that peri ONLY wrote to timmy. CosWan were NOT allowed to see them or call him or talk or-#anyways if ur wondering why timmy was peri's primary guardian this is why#peri /had/ a lot of low contact form his parents. which just made them even MORE clingy when they did get to see him.#timmy worked hard to keep his promises to his little brother#even if it meant letting Peri spend the summers with AC and Irep instead of at CosWan's place#(timmy was the one who urged his parents to go on their honeymoon as a result. to help. yknow. distract them from it all)#also yaaayyy yipiee!!#11 whole parts!!! just for. just for 6 or so asks.#OTL#god i hope i can speed things up now#there shouldnt be any more mini stories until i reach the end of the inbox#so we can finally FINALLY get back to the present with chimmy moving and timmy dealing with HazDev
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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wait wait wait guys have you ever thought about how the Mighty Nein are everything they shouldn’t be upon first glance
no no guys guys listen to me they’re all the antithesis of what they’re meant to be and that’s why they’re such amazing and heartfelt characters
like, Caleb is a wizard who’s afraid of his own fire magic. his own power causes him to falter in battle. his strongest spells are his most dangerous to himself. wizards are supposed to be prideful of their magic, but Caleb’s is the reason he hates himself
Beau is a monk who never wanted to be. her job is one that people normally associate with being calm and collected and Beau was a wild rebellious kid who got dragged into this line of work against her will. she never wanted to be this!! but now she is and she’s gotta deal with it!!
Fjord is a warlock who never wanted power from his pact, which is why you’d think a warlock would make their pact at all. but no. Fjord made his pact because he wanted to live, not because he wanted power. he was a scared orphan who hated his tusks, not a buff, muscled, angry half-orc like people assumed
Nott is NOT, that’s the whole crux of her narrative! she wasn’t pretty, like a halfling girl was supposed to be. she wasn’t a goblin, she was just transformed into one. and not only that, but despite being a three-foot-tall alcoholic kleptomaniac, she’s the mom of the group!
Jester is a Cleric whose god isn’t actually a god and who would much rather bash bad guys over the head with her lollipop than have to stop and heal her friends!! she’s a bubbly, optimistic ray-of-sunshine, but you know when she says she’s gonna change the world with friendship she means it as a threat
Mollymauk is an amnesiac, but he doesn’t want to remember who he was. if you ask him, that wasn’t him! he might be a flirtatious hedonistic carnie, but he’s also single-mindedly devoted to making the world a better and more loved place than it was when he found it. he’s a liar, but he means well. he’s an arrogant fool, yes, but he’s right! he did it! he left it better!
Caduceus seems like he’d be creepy and grim from growing up in a graveyard, but he’s actually the most chill out of the entire Nein by far. he’s calm, he’s sweet, and he’s comforting, more than anything else. you’d think he’d be amazed by seeing the outside world for the first time, but he spends the whole time knowing that one day he’ll return home, that he wasn’t supposed to be the one to leave
Yasha is a barbarian with skeletal wings and a dramatic, monochromatic look, but she’s a complete sweetheart. she’s Molly’s best friend, she was a carnival bouncer, she’s a lesbian disaster who collects pressed flowers in a book out of love for the wife she lost. those black wings were actually hiding soft white feathers
Essek was born straight into the den of politics, he was a spymaster, he literally started a war for his own gain, and yet. he’s sounds irredeemable on paper, but. he’s not!! sure, the Nein kind of have to drag his alignment kicking and screaming into neutral, but they manage it. Essek learns and grows and he overcomes his nature. he becomes good, against all odds
guys guys guys don’t you see it!! look at them!!they’re such compelling characters!! they’re everything they’re not supposed to be!! dude y’all how didn’t I realize this earlier!! they subvert their narratives in the most interesting ways ever and I justhshsbhshshsjnsmshsnhsfn!!
#having very normal thoughts about the hyperfixation before bed as you can see#god I love the Mighty Nein#I swear to god their story is one of the best things I’ve ever discovered#it just#it just screams ‘you can be more than what the world made you to be’#‘you can be more than you once were’#‘you can live and grow and love and it can be so so amazing. just let yourself have it’#the Mighty Nein’s story is one of such overwhelming hope and love for the world and I just#*distant sobbing* /pos#the mighty nein#critical role campaign 2 spoilers#critical role#cr c2#caleb widogast#beauregard lionett#fjord stone#nott the brave#veth brenatto#jester lavorre#mollymauk tealeaf#caduceus clay#yasha nydoorin#essek thelyss#cr meta#resident rambles
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hi! I’m just curious, have you ever read I Am In The Past, Never In The Future?
NO?? OMG????
THERE'S A FULL PAPYRUS WAS GASTER FIC AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT????????????????????????????
WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS IN ALL OF MY YEARS GOING CRAZY ABOUT THE CONCEPT
AND IT'S FROM 2016????????????
I'm gonna go crazy about this for a bit... definitely will give it a read later
#OH MY GOD#WHAT#I SWEAR I *TRIED* LOOKING LOOKING FOR FICS ABOUT IT ON AO3 AND I NEVER FOUND ANYTHING#There were some uncompleted ones#and some that didn't catch my attention or I didn't like how they treated the concept but this one seems good???#I really need to read it before I say anything jhbfdfjd#gonna check that later......#but oh my god.................. woah..................#this is like finding a hidden gem what#answered ask#I'm actually so excited to read but I have drawings to do djekndkjwe#NOT NORMAL#I FREAK OUT WHENEVER I SEE PAPYRUS IS GASTER CONTENT THAT I DIDN'T MAKE MYSELF#WOHOOOO#okay I'll stop getting my hopes up until I actually read it dhflsdkhf#I apologize for my insane behavior but this is exciting to find
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The return of Wei Wuxian after his 3-month disappearance is meant to evoke this terror and sense that something is wrong, and it definitely does, but like…
Do you not see the playfulness in which Wei Wuxian handles the ghoul child mirrored in how he later handles A-Yuan in the Burial Mounds?
A white child squatted by his feet. Like a young, carnivorous beast, it was gnawing on something that Wei WuXian fed it. Wei WuXian took his hand away after patting on the white ghoul child’s sparse-haired head.
—Chapt. 62: Evil, exr
Lan Sizhui replied, "I'm not sure either, just that when I saw Chenqing, I thought that it was extremely familiar......" It was unsurprising that it was Chenqing that made him remember. Wei Wuxian said, "Oh, of course you'd find it familiar, back then eating Chenqing was your favourite habit and you would drool all over it and make me unable to play it."
—Chapt. 111: Wangxian - Everyday Means Everyday, chiaki_himura
Do you not see the gentleness in which Wei Wuxian handles the blue-faced woman mirrored in how he handles Wen Qing when he takes her to the Qiongqi Path labor camp?
When she had been fighting, her face was almost hideous, but now, with her dark face against Wei WuXian’s lap, she somehow seemed to be a charming concubine, obediently pleasing her master. Giggling laughter came from her mouth as well. Wei WuXian sat leaning to one side, his right hand stroking her soft, long hair over and over again.
—Chapt. 62: Evil, exr
The shock that Wen Qing received was too strong. Finally, she couldn’t hang on any longer and passed out. Standing behind her, Wei WuXian caught her without saying anything, letting her lean onto his chest.
—Chapt. 72: Recklessness, exr
And then they both go on to reciprocate that care via over-protectiveness, even when Wei Wuxian isn't actively controlling them:
The curvature of Wei WuXian’s lips dropped slightly as he glanced at him. Jiang Cheng had also heard the dissonant tone, “Second Young Master Lan, what do you mean by this?” Lan WangJi’s eyes were glued to Wei WuXian, “Answer me.” The ghoul child and the blue-faced woman began to stir. Wei WuXian turned around and looked at them. They backed off slowly, reluctant, and sunk into the darkness.
—Chapt. 62: Evil, exr
After reading the entire novel and seeing how he maintains this same level of care towards everyone he has no antagonistic relationship with, alive and dead, how could I not be moved when circling back to reread this moment?
#mdzs#human metas mxtx#yeah it’s meant to be horrible#but also?#after seeing how the *other* cultivators treat the dead#why *should* i feel horrified that wwx treats them so familiarly?#that's a woman and child whose lives were stopped short#and with that fact maybe wwx is the first one to be kind to them even counting the living portion of their life#but even though their dead does that mean they don't deserve care now?#anyways i hope they found peace after this#god i love you nameless dead woman and baby#rereads really be having you look at scenes in a new light
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grandpop wake up! your toaster is on fire
and so there were four once more.
At last, all the gramps are awoken from their nap :D
anyone guess where the weapons in the last page are from?
previous ---- part 9 ---- next
#bad end ninja turtles#B.E.N.T#tmnt au#tmnt fanart#same as it never was#tmnt 2003#2003 raph#tw implied sibling death#really hope you all enjoy!#my god this one was a HARD ONE I think I rewrote and redrew this thrice and I am still tempted to take it down and try again-#its crazy how much my art has changed since I started this comic#cannot believe we are soon gonna see the dudes all together!!!!#(the wheel said yes btw)
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I love how Epic is a story about how sometimes, you change in ways you can't undo. Sometimes it's a choice, and sometimes it's something that happens to you; often, it's both. And in some ways, you may be made worse. You may make mistakes. You may become someone you don't recognize, and you may not like who you now see in the mirror. You might lose your old self in the process of surviving.
But when you do, the people who love you will still be there. Not because of who you used to be, or how you might heal or become better, or out of ignorance of who you now are. Just because they love you, and you do not need to be perfect to be loved. You just need to be there.
And they'll be waiting for you.
#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#meta#epic the ithaca saga spoilers#odysseus#because odysseus is accepted at the end. he is different. he is not the same man penelope fell in love with. he sees himself as a monster.#but she loves the hands she no longer knows#because she knows who they belong to.#and that's what it's all about.#to come home as you are...the prodigal son and the chosen people and the love God has for us. for me. that's what it is.#yes i'm making gospel connections to this greek mythology because it's the One True Myth (per tolkien)!! it just means a lot to me ok :''')#anyways yes this gave me a lot of feelings and i hope it did for you too. would love to talk about it more and probably will lol#send asks if you have them i wanna gush about this musical#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#my meta posts#kay is a musical theater nerd
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Decided to revisit my Minecraft spooky guy designs
Old designs here
#Grim draws stuff#minecraft#herobrine#entity 303#null#minecraft herobrine#minecraft entity 303#minecraft null#creepypasta fanart#creepypasta#herobrine minecraft#minecraft fanart#minecraft art#entity 303 minecraft#null minecraft#alt text#has alt text#I'm especially happy with Entity 303's design#wanted to give him spooky ghost vibes#also a fun lil detail about Null!! I imagine they look flat from any angle despite being 3-dimensional like the other guys#they just /look/ like a flat shadow then you see em turn and you're like ????#I might illustrate what I mean one day but I hope that makes sense qwq#Also Herobrine is meant to look kinda grey like he's dead/a ghost I dunno if I depicted that well#headcanon stuff he's a fallen god in my Minecraft lore#I've been buildin said lore since I was a wee lad (11 years old)#but Herobrine bein a fallen god was a more recent idea pff
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Ничего не останется от нас, Нам останемся, в лучшем случае, мы
hi. hello. listen to this song
i have so many thoughts about these two. oh my god. maybe i will write it out some day, but for now drawing it out will do
translation will be under the cut! knowing the words does add to the work so i do recommend reading it. or just enjoy the art <3
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heres the translation, color coded according to how i broke it up for the art. just in casies
first page:
Love is scarier than war
Love strikes more true than steel
second page:
More true, because of your own volition
third page:
You run towards all the winds
Let there be pain and eternal battle
Not atmospheric, not earthly
fourth page:
But definitely with you
caption:
There will be nothing left of us,
we will be left with, in the best case, ourselves
#kunst huli#legend of zelda#botw link#botw zelda#botw zelink#tloz#zelink#totk#botw#i cannot express how proud i am that i actually managed not only to finish this#BUT. to have it look GOOD#painting stuff n making it messy in an appealing way has always been a fucking STRUGGLE for me#n i do think u can see my over-rendering tendencies rear their head up on the last one#and also i guess i should have made the last two pages connect like i did with the rest of them but i think it still works. thematically#the last one is like. the end. a break. the start of a much needed retirement#a breather u might say!#i also think the devs should have let link hug her at the end#he deserves it he thought hed never see her like this again#oh alsooooo since im on a tangent anyway#like many people i was disappointed by the cop-out of just giving link his arm back at the end of totk#and i still think it would be cool if he didnt#(or if he kept the magic hand. just imagine how thatll help with all the restoration work dlkfgjdfkgjdfkg)#BUT anyway. i thought about it. n i have a theory about what tf did they do at the end to get not only zelda but his arm back#the fucking time powers!!! what if they just reversed time on them...........#much to thunk about. anyway#hope u enjoy <3#now i can go finish phantom hourglass#god i hate having to go back to the temple of the ocean king tho. its like dishonored but u cant go up OR knock those guys out
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the catholic rejection of it all
#one piece#op#trafalgar law#monkey d. luffy#gear 5 luffy#song is big god by florence and the machine#religious symbology? in my shounen anime protagonist? it's more likely than you think#im 24 years old it's the end of 2023 it's MY turn to finally make a cringe amv for christmas#to be clear. i dont think law sees luffy as his god. but i definitely think he's helped law regain some faith#i.e. catholicism (yeah hardy-hah one piece character is an ex-catholic its all very silly but let's take it unironically for a second)#it would've drilled into law as a child to believe in one true cause (that cause being god). and that will supposedly carry him through lif#give hope purpose etc. but a lot of former catholics choose instead to find that in something else. in law’s cause:#the freedom and hope corasan gave him#the freedom that luffy brings. the will of D. the goodness in the people around him#it's a transfer of faith that feels real and tangible#it's a neat concept and I don't see it talked about much#CJ's op watch-through#corasan#donquixote rosinante#sun god nika#CJ's edits#op analysis#amv
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