#god is work asks me to work that day

[bluetorchsky]

Just some down time with the husbands, with Accordion massaging Violin’s headaches away (he gets them from time to time)

*falls back down and tumbled into the void, goofy scream*

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[l3viat8an]

Whatever you do, do not think about having a pretty boy sit in your lap and cupping his face in your hands and giving him kisses all over his cheeks and forehead and on the tip of his nose and lastly on his lips all while he holds onto the front of your shirt and just lets you love him-

[caffeiiine]

kunikidas ideals have the potential to be self destructive and kunikida can be considered passively suicidal, he is also not the polite and respectful man fanon makes him out to be- *gets shot*

[myokk]

the summer before Hogwarts🫶

in my mind, Sebastian is a huge planner & he always insisted on bringing too much along whenever he and Anne went on adventures. It’s always better to be prepared than to realize you forgot something at home😤

the next drawing will be Anne so you can compare the two😂💓

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[findingschmomo]

Dragon quest xi my beloved, one day ill finish you

[incoherentbee]

behold: the knight of doom and the mage of rage

Knight of Doom is one who exploits the sacrifice, death, punishment and pessimism on the session. Mage of Rage is one who knows belief, anger and strength and also knows trough conviction and negative emotions.

[god-syndicate-if]

How jealous are the ROs? And how do they show it?

Oh I love jealousy stuff!!

Riley Crushing: Normal jealous. if they find out you're with someone or see you flirting with someone, anything like that, they wont interfere and will just hope their feelings go away now that they know you're taken. Relationship: Probably wont say anything if someone is flirting with you. They'll act like they don't care but they'll be frustrated or annoyed for a while. If you flirt with someone else then they're just silently freaking out next to you, and will just pull you away.

Franco Crushing: Will joke with you about how he'd be better for you than whoever you're with. But ultimately when he knows you're with someone else he'll move on pretty quick. Relationship: Is going to sit back and let you have fun flirting or being flirted with by someone as long as he gets the same treatment. if it goes past flirting then he'll want an invite.

Verne Crushing: Will silently stew. Outwardly make no changes other than they'll probably go to the gym and work out some frustration. Relationship: Steps in immediately. As soon as someone looks at you they've got their hand on their gun. If you flirt with someone else then they're going to say something, very well could just be an immediate break-up right there.

Mitch Crushing: Not super jealous, wouldn't change his behavior. The way he "flirts" is very subtle anyway, so its likely he'll just keep doing that. Relationship: He'd need to have a talk with you about it but generally is fine with someone flirting with you as long as you're okay with it. He'd be secure enough in the relationship to trust you. It only becomes an issue if you start flirting back, but even then as long as you two talk about it beforehand its alright.

Sigourney Crushing: Would not care and would probably still flirt with you. If you're in a relationship she'd move on but its doubtful her feelings will ever actually go away. Relationship: If someone flirts with you she'd encourage you to flirt back for some fun. She doesn't want it to go past that though.

Dame Crushing: Does not handle jealousy well if they're not secure in the relationship. Will probably blame themself because they didn't act on their feelings quick enough. Relationship: If someone is flirting with you they'll get defensive, get snippy and generally aggressive with the other person. If you're flirting back they'll just act completely emotionless and break up with you. They'll be petty with you for the rest of your lives, might even go past being just petty and make you outright fall in love with a balloon and then pop it.

Rebel Crushing: She is hunting them for sport. Relationship: She is hunting them for sport.

[simandy]

Yesterday: rain clouds and thunders. Only a few drops here. No alert on my climate app. Ridiculous storm going on the next city. We got the gov alert. They didn't.

Today: rain clouds and thunders. Heavy rain here. Orange alert on my climate app. Ridiculous storm going on here right above me. Nobody got the gov alert. Anywhere.

Clown country (sertanejo ver.)

[ley-med]

So I got an unofficial-official job offer from the boss at the children's hospital, and I just politely thanked him (it is indeed flattering!) and told him no. All the while thinking that if I have to spend a few more hours listening to the children scream their lungs out, I'm gonna join them and start screaming too. Hats off to anyone who chooses this willingly, but that's not going to be me

[coconut530]

SPIDER AND STAG

[purgatory-is-life]

Can anyone hear me. Mechs fans can anyone hear me

[chevs-and-spiders]

no siren like the sea

[rowanisawriter]

imagine being pickled lol it would probably not even have any effect on me at all. i might enjoy it tbh . In fact

[cozymochi]

Cozy, plz. You are killing me here. Absolutely floored by the Nyoka voice reveal vid.

I love Tia, I love Nyoka, I love Cecil, I love Emilio. The list is gonna grow as you share more.

Big dopamine rush when I see your work on my dash. It brightens up my day. Always proud of you.

(In reference to this) 💖DsdsfGdgdh

Thanks it was the most accurate depiction of my little vision 😭😭 I’d do more like it, but it’s veering a little too niche to be enjoyed outside of myself. So any future stuff like that is probably better off staying in the drafts, so to speak.

Why do so much when it’s easier to slap a still image over un-transcribed audio and call it a day? Sure would accomplish the same thing. I should be a corporate board member with an inflated salary so I can finally eat something outside of popcorn.

AS FOR OTHER CHARACTERS, aside from the one guy that’s still being revised (despite existing before Nyoka), the list will probably remain small 😩 I only really make characters if there’s a story I really wanna see (I mean no one else except @/oddberryshortcake the lorekeeper will see them, but still.)

still thank u for being proud of me let’s hope i don’t mess it up 💃