#god i. i will never get over being cheated on. its horrible. fucking horrible.

[3knecrotic]

I miss hym. I miss those Good memories. I miss it so much right now. God I want to fucking die over it.

[octopiys]

Some incorrect quotes and scenes for the pies

Roach: *Screams*

Ghost: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Capt. MacTavish: Should we do something?

Capt. Price: No, I want to see who wins.

-

Alejandro: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Valeria: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Alejandro: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING RODOLFO WITH ME

Rodolfo, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Price: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife.

Ghost: That's why I carry two knives.

-

Soap: I made tea.

Ghost: I don’t want tea.

Soap: ....I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ghost: Then why are you telling me?

Soap: It is a conversation starter.

Ghost: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Soap: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

-

Gaz: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Price, putting his head in his hands: Does anyone in this goddamn team ever think before they speak-

-

Graves: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Alejandro: I do have a sense of humor you know

Graves: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Alejandro: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Graves:

Graves: fuck you

Alejandro: fuck you

-

Soap, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

Ghost:

Ghost: is it because I said I didn't want your tea-

Soap: YES ITS BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT MY TEA

-

Ghost: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

Gaz, just finding out that Ghost is legally dead:

-

Gaz: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Price: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Soap: Three of us saw it, Cap. How do you explain that?

Price: *points at Soap* Sleep deprivation. *points at König* Paranoia. *points at Ghost* Delusional personality disorder.

Gaz:

Gaz: damn.

-

Roze: What’s something you guys are better than Horangi at?

Hutch: Mario Kart.

O'Conor: Yeah, video games.

König: Emotional vulnerability

-

Graves: *Gets down on one knee*

Alejandro: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.

Graves: *Falls over*

Alejandro: The poison is kicking in.

-

Gaz, after falling out of a heli for the third time: Do you take constructive criticism?

Nikolai: I only take cash or credit.

-

Soap: Can you keep a secret?

Ghost: Do you know anything about my life?

Soap: No I do not. Good point.

-

Gaz: Hey heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this haha-

Roach: What did you-?

Gaz: A MISTAKE WAS MADE

-

-

I just wanna say thank you all sm for 300 followers! You all r loved and I'm not good with responses but I appreciate them all so muck, thank u again :DDDDD

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 2 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

═══════════════════════════

I made a second part, receive this! Part 3 will be about soap.

CW: Implied infertility

═══════════════════════════

A little further down from the UK, in Urzakistan, Ghost sat on a dusty sofa, with only the sounds of crickets and Farah's soldiers chatting in the background. Ever since Soap had told him he was pregnant, Ghost had withdrawn, needing time to concentrate and clear his mind.

Ghost was infertile, he knew he was infertile ever since the torture he suffered in Mexico at the hands of Roba. Every time Ghost disobeyed, the bastard would kick him in the legs or dope him up with drugs, or sometimes make Ghost drinks gallons of alcohol until he vomited. It was all a perfect combination that led to Ghost's infertility.

He missed the Scotsman terribly, only God could know how devastated he was, imagining that Soap was cheating on him behind his back, not just cheating but getting pregnant by some mutt out there.

Ghost had already prepared everything for their next break, he was going to ask the Scotsman to be his mate, he'd even bought a ring, which was now lying under his bed, he just clutched it as he cried in the night thinking about everything he'd lost. All his hopes thrown out of the window, imagining that he could have a life with someone, that he could be a better partner than his father had been.

Finally one day, after seeing Soap's various attempts to talk to him, he just ran away to a mission in Urzakistan.

The next day after the mission he'd come to carry out, after they'd finally had a chance to rest, Farah came up to him and they chatted for a while, asking how Price was, if he hadn't accidentally swallowed a cigarette yet, asking about Laswell and his wife, and about Gaz, asking if he'd won the promotion he always talked about.

Ghost liked the alpha, she was a great leader for the community and its soldiers, and she even had a partner. Everything Ghost wanted.

At some point Farah asked about Soap and whether Ghost had already proposed, and Ghost froze. This didn't go unnoticed by the commander, who immediately looked into the British man's eyes strangely.

"He cheated on me..." Ghost said quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear.

Farah's eyes widened before a look of surprise appeared on her face. "Soap? Cheating? I highly doubt that, Lieutenant."

"Farah, he's pregnant." This makes Farah shut up and widen her eyes again, she stays silent for a few minutes and before she can say anything, Ghost adds. "I'm infertile..."

"Oh..." She replies. "Holy shit."

The two remain silent for a while. "Ghost," Farah says, making him look at her. "Since when did you know you were infertile?" Fuck, that question sends an electric current through Simon's body.

He doesn't want to think about the fact that he'll never be able to have children of his own, or even a family, now that Soap has cheated on him. He sighs heavily, stopping the tears from spilling over.

"I... was a POW in Mexico a few years ago, their torture was... horrible." -He breathes, memories of the scorpions, fights, hooks in his body, revolt through Simon's head.

"Did they cut your balls off?" She asks, making Simon widen his eyes and choke on his own saliva and cough a few times.

"No, no! Bloody hell, Farah." She laughs a little, trying to defuse the situation.

"So let me get this straight, these guys who caught you, they didn't cut your balls off but they hurt you, and you imagine that made you infertile?"

Ghost thinks for a moment and nods, it made sense that everything they did to Ghost's body resulted in him being infertile.

"Have you had any medical checks?" She asked, her voice starting to get thick and serious.

"No, I don't need it rubbed in my face." Simon was already starting to get uncomfortable with this subject.

"Lieutenant, let me tell you something, maybe you want to deny it to yourself, but Soap doesn't seem like a man who would easily cheat on you and get pregnant by someone random, that man looked at you like you were the sun, as much as Garrick told me about how much Soap loved you."

Simon thought so too, but the proof that Soap was just a little shit and a backstabber was in his belly, growing little by little.

"So let me ask you something, we've got some doctors here, let's run some tests." Swallowing dryly, she looks deep into Simon's eyes. "Do you really think Soap would be bad enough to do something like that?"

"Of course not! But fuck! Just looking at his belly and remembering what he said makes me think otherwise." Simon mumbles the last words, putting his hands to his face and closing his eyes, taking a deep breath so as not to break down.

He feels Farah's hand being placed on his shoulder, a strong, deep squeeze. "Let's give it a try Ghost, it's better to do this than to regret making the wrong choice later."

The hand on his shoulder begins to caress him slowly, with one last breath, Simon removes his hands from his face and looks at Farah, nodding. "Okay... what if I really am not infertile?"

With a smile Farah gets up from where they were sitting. "Knowing you the way I do, you probably ignored him, so you'll have to think of a good excuse, and well, congratulations on being a dad, I guess?"

Ghost gets up and starts following Farah to the medical ward.

One part of Simon hopes that he isn't infertile, and that this is all just a mistake that he can fix, that Soap can forgive him and that they can have this family together, retire from the army and live happily. 

But another part of Simon just wants to believe that he really is infertile, so that he doesn't have to feel that weight on his chest that he feels after abandoning his omega, that he doesn't have to regret ignoring that face full of despair and tears.

The only thing Simon knows is that he's afraid of the future.

═══════════════════════════

Something I want to say is that it makes sense for Ghost to think he's infertile. The reasons, of course, apart from the torture, are the fact that tobacco, illicit drugs, alcohol and some diseases (STIs in particular) can cause infertility if you're highly exposed to them. Which, in this case, happened to Ghost during Roba.

But of course, never assume something you're not sure about, otherwise you'll end up in almost the same situation as Ghost now.

POW = Prisioner of war

[evilsniigura]

remembering that adam cheating with eve idea… they get back because adam is ruining reader’s lifw and adam ends up babytrapping reader

reader very much folds when a letter flies in about her scholarship, how she got a strike for some random thing she didn’t even do. it has adam written all over it. he has been getting pretty desperate, everyone can see that

hes so annoying!!!!!! reader unblocks him (well, one of his many numbers. he is nothing if not persistent) and asks him to meet up. he has to audacity to act like he has to think about it. hitting him with a „ok so you do want to leave me alone?“ and suddenly he’s fumbling around spam texting about how actually he misread his calendar and he totally can meet up the next day

brining the later to the cafe has no use. hes denying it but hes smirking in a way u can just tell its his doing. do he really is ready to destroy your whole life because HE decided to cheat?? great. totally a guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. but well, you have no other choice. you’re already on thin ice at your job for constant anonymous complains about you, weird rumours going around and even it going as far as your friends being snippy with you. it feels horribly wrong to ask adam to try again, but if it gets you your stability back you dig your nails into your hand and do it

adam acts like you both never spent any time apart. doesn’t talk about the incident and you don’t want to bring it up. he has to plan every date or hang out, has to text first always to get a slow and short response, has to incite any physical contact because you want him as far away as possible. you know he feels guilty. he’s overcompensating, trying to shower you in gifts and compliments which mean nothing to you anymore.

he tried to incite sex once. it didn’t go well, for either of you.

„god forbid i want to sleep with my fucking girlfriend!“ adam screamed at you, feed up with the lack of affection and intimacy.

you glare at him, „you’re not entitled to my body! leave me be! go get your dick wet somewhere else!“at this point you didn’t care if he slept around, as long as he leaves you alone

that seemed to piss adam off even more, „stupid bitch…you better give me a good time, unless you want more fucking letters to come in!“ he threatened you

you spluttered around, fed up with the guy before you. „adam, let me set one thing straight. you ruin everything for me, i will swallow all my pills and slit my wrist. it’s my life.“ you hissed at adam, who seemed shocked at your words. worst of all, he knew you were being sincere.

storming out of his bed room, you slammed the door shut. you stomped into the guest room and slammed yourself into the bed there. if your bag wasn’t in adam’s room, you would have left. sadly, you can’t get far without your keys and wallet.

you didn’t know for how long you laid in bed, but it was long enough for you to finally calm down. a feeling of emptiness replaced the fire which burned inside of you not that long ago

the door carefully opened, and you made it a point to turn your head away from adam. he slinked in, his steps cautious. the bed dipped from adam’s weight and he laid down besides you. he was on his back, and you on your stomach.

„…i love you.“ adam’s voice was barley a whisper

you scoffed, rolling your eyes. adam’s hand brushed against your own and you immediately pulled it away, pressing yourself closer to the edge of the too small bed

„you can sleep with other girls. i don’t care.“ you finally turn your head towards adam

adam let himself slide down the bed, now he was also laying on his stomach. your head were at the same level, and his eyes were wet

„the thought alone makes me sick to my motherfucking stomach“ he mumbles out

„you’re a bad liar“ he annoys you to no end

adam sniffles, tears brining his eyes. „where are you sleeping tonight baby?“ he changes the topic

„here. get back into your own bed“ your voice was curt

„cant. cant sleep without you.“ he really put on the kicked puppy act

rolling your eyes, you pushed yourself up slightly by your arms. taking both the pillows into your hand, you pressed them between you and adam. building a wall

„don’t cross it!“ you sternly order him. he has no blanket

he nodded at you. letting yourself fall back into bed, you curled up under your thin blanket.

„….can you hold my hand?“ adam’s hand rested on the pillow wall.

you sighed, before wrapping your hand around his middle and ring finger.

it shouldn’t have surprised you so much. your landlord didn’t want to renew your lease, some bullshit excuses. adam had you moved into his apartment before you realised it

his own paranoia peaked through. obsessively checking your phone and randomly visiting you at the places you said you’d be at. he side eyes everyone around you, your friends, his friends, your group project partners who you hated

adam was crazy, as always. lucky for him you don’t have the time or energy to cheat

he always tried to show just how good and loyal he has been. leaving his phone open around you, checking in with you where he’s going to be and with who. as if you cared

you nearly throw up at seeing the positive pregnancy test. you’re still in college!!! well, 3 months are left but still. you want to hide, you really do. but when adam shows you the package (which you put at he bottom of the trash can????) with a grin on his face you realise you’re fucked. when he confronts you he’s happy enough with the excuse that you wanted to make sure by going to your doc. he seems not to surprised by this, but you can’t really find anyways wrong with your pills…. maybe adam’s paranoia is a bad influence on you

[t00thpasteface]

How do you like the mash movie?

I saw the series first, my dad is a fan and we used to watch it together, and was surprised at its more serious tone. Frank Burns also struck me as also a pathetic idiot but in such a different way and also has these evil vibes. Because of you I discovered the books, got them, and im having even more shocks!

i fucking LOVED IT. i was absolutely HOWLING the entire time. my favorite bits were:

the opening where you see the dangling arms of the bodies in the choppers??? oh my god. i was like GASP. the insane blood and gore was awesome and really drove home how petty and wacky everyone's being

hawkeye's stupid tinted glasses and bucket hat <3 sooo 70s.

mulcahy getting immediately ignored the second he's introduced. mulcahy basically acting like a frightened mouse in every scene he has. he is so sad. he's really not cut out for this

frank being introduced as an aggressive bible thumper (very funny contrast to the likeable and shy priest) so him cheating on his wife with margaret, who is also married, is even funnier

radar(!!) being the one who puts the mic under frank and margaret's bed

mulcahy hearing them bang, leaning in bc he thinks it's a radio program he enjoys, and going D: when he Realizes

suicide is painless. holy shit. did you know a 14 y/o wrote the lyrics? his dad said "i needed the lyrics to be extremely stupid, and 14 year old boys are masters of stupidity." mom just learned that and has been telling all her 50-60 y/o friends. also both versions in the movie are sung beautifully (and thus hilariously)

the unbelievable fruitiness of hawkeye and trapper at all points but especially in the golf related scenes

trapper spawning the olives out of nowhere. player.placeatme olivejar 1

bring me the sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes! (dramatic zoom)

RADAR STEALING HENRY'S BLOOD??

hawkeye's entire interaction with painless just SCREAMING "chaotic bisexual who's been out the longest of anyone in the friendgroup and will forcefully yank you out of the closet the second you start questioning"

racists do not get dignified with a response. racists get shoved out of their chair

DON'T LET HIM KISS YOU HAWKEYE!

frank getting carted away in a straitjacket and never seen again

margaret hating the idea of football until the general wants it and suddenly she's a cheerleader with pigtails bc she's completely spineless. god she's so evil in this i LOVE horrible evil women. full agency at being the worst person ever <333 i support women's wrongs and i love watching chicks who are just slow-motion car crashes

"i was thinking we should have some plays, cause yknow, football teams always have plays" "actually i took the liberty of drawing about seven or eight plays for us to try ^_^" "great! ...what do these arrows mean?"

MASH EM! SMASH EM! KILL, KILL, KILL!

OH MY GOD THEY SHOT HIM!!!

hawkeye suddenly not wanting to leave once he's actually able to 🥺

end credits being read over the loudspeaker like the other movie night announcements. so. cute.

okay sorry. good movie. i had fun and cried laughing ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[slashingdisneypasta]

Human!Freddy Krueger x Fem!Cheater!Reader || Drabble [Part 2]

Plot: Do you remember that one I wrote where reader, who had been cheating on her husband (Not with Freddy), was being blackmailed for this by Freddy to try and get rid of Loretta’s body for him before the cops found him?

Well in this one, Freddy inevitably gets caught anyway and just when reader thinks she’s in the clear, he says something in court that turns your whole world upside down and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.

Part One: What The Fuck Now, Freddy!?

Notes:

I’ve been thinking about this since I wrote the last one !! I’m glad to have finally added it ^^ Its shorter, but this is definitely now my favourite thing I have ever written with Freddy so far.

This is a universe I could live in for a while also XD Might make this a series.

Warnings: Its a very overwhelming scene involving lies, cheating, confusion, attention, and hopelessness. If you think that is gonna make you anxious dont read this.

Tags: @gr4veyardg1rl , @kawaistrawberry21 , @lady-love88 , @miss_understood , @spookifi , @thecourtofgraywaves, @yesthetrashbin (Adding these after the fact and hoping no one notices... shh... )

… No. You think, eyes wide, feeling Harrison tense up next to you. He turns his head to look at you and he asks is that true?? a horrible accusatory tone in his voice that you fully deserve - though not for this, - but you can’t respond. You can’t unglue your eyes from Freddy, a million thoughts and feelings flying through you. It feels like your body is shutting down. Like the world just tipped over and everyone but you has glue on their feet.

He just told the whole world, everyone in this courtroom and everyone watching it on TV, that his alibi for all those times that he was ‘supposedly’ killing kids… was his affair with you. That killing Loretta was your idea. So you could be together. That it was premeditated, and you were in on it. And god, you feel sick. You were having an affair after all, not with him but you were, so there’s a lot of time your husband can’t account for… time you were spending with Carter. Time that as far as Harrison is concerned, could have very well been spent with Freddy. So he’s going to believe it. And- Carter- The man you were really with- He’s watching this at home a town over today, and- what is he going to think? That he was one of the many? That you’re some serial cheater? No-

You itch for the phone, to explain to him- what exactly, anyway?? That Freddy made you hide a body with him or he would tell Harrison about him - Carter, - and you?? That you hid a body to hide him away?? That you hid a body???

You can’t possibly explain that. You can’t even stomach it, a week after the fact. The blue and purple marks on Loretta’s neck flash in your mind, and you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment. You swallow down the lump in your throat. You turn to Harrison and put a hand gently on his arm. Parting your lips, you want to explain to him; Tell him that you never touched Freddy, you’re innocent, but- but you’re not… not really. Partly, but… not really.

This is so mixed up.

It wasn’t him, you almost say, but he wrenches himself out of your loose grip- the guilty look on your face enough for him to think that he knows. “Is that why you’re here testifying for him???” He asks, and you want to push forward and explain, make him listen, but you’re starting to become aware of the true state of this courtroom right now. Its loud- people are talking all around you, yelling until your ears turn red and you can clearly hear the blood pumping through your body. They’re all looking at you.

“Is it true???”

“Y/N, how do you respond!?”

“He couldn’t have carried Loretta’s body on his own, oh shit.”

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!”

“Y/- “

Just trying to breath and calm down under this kind of pressure is tricky, and while you’re looking slowly around the room… unable to even speak for yourself from dry mouth… your eyes find Freddy again. He’s the only still thing in the room, like the devil in hell. The only other person who knows the truth about you. Theirs a smirk on his face, eyes deep-set and very steady, like he’s truly enjoying this-- and you want to be sick.

You’re going to want a lawyer, Freddy mouths, a grin on his face and a wink.

You genuinely want to vomit on the floor.

When the cameras start flashing between you and him you have to look away, down at your lap, blinking tears out of your eyes. You’re not sure whether they’re from the bright lights or what’s just been done to you.  

You can imagine the papers tomorrow. ‘Krueger Innocent of Springwood Kids- Crime of Passion Instead!?’ and a big black and white photo of you red faced and shameful in a courtroom pew.

Breathing is becoming hard. You have to get out of here. You need wa-

“Y/N!” Harrison’s voice. That’s Harrisons voice. Your eyes flicker up to him, standing beside you still with a furious and heartbroken look on his face your lips part in a silent cry. You didn’t want to hurt him, this isn’t how it was supposed to go- “Leave! Just- leave!”

Amid all the yelling and the red ears and the flashing and the blurry vision, you don’t have time to consider this, wonder if he still loves you or if he just doesn’t want to look at you, before you’re slipping past him and running out.

[bromcommie]

♥️ 👻 💕 for the wrting ask game? hope you're having a good week!

Hi hi, thank you for the ask! Hope you're having a good week as well :) ❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Oh, god. When I reblogged this game I didn't realize how hard it would be, lol. I don't think I can pick a single line overall, but here's a line(s. Okay, it's a tiny paragraph, sue me) that I like from a chapter about Steve and Bucky in Naples during the war I'm reworking atm:

There has to be a kind of solace in this, he thinks, raw. Some kind of reassurance in the fact that there are things ancient here crumbling away slowly, with a quiet surety; not from senseless violence, just time. That amidst the grief, the stubborn memory of a life lovingly lived prevails.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Aw, fuck, I'm blanking on this. I honestly don't even know what constitutes a wild headcanon, haha. Tbh I feel like there's very little that can surprise me anymore coming from the sprawling tapestry that is the Cap fanon, and my HCs usually fall under the "generally accepted" category so. No clue. The first thing that came to mind in terms of canon fix-its is this vague idea I had about Steve attempting to save Natasha when returning the stones but something going horribly wrong and his body and mind being scattered across space and time like the world's trippiest piñata, and him then having to piece himself together with the eventual help of others. That's not necessarily wild nor a HC though, just an interesting challenge and a way for me to be able to live with canon.

(The second, slightly more amusing thing that came to mind is that at some point in the future Bucky absolutely casually starts ~something~ with Steve at like the Brooklyn Public Library—partly because fine, sue him, he's a sappy bastard and moments of quiet joy together get to him, and partly because he's also an asshole and a riled up embarrassed Steve also gets to him. Which again is not wild at all, just based on the very real life experience of, well. Hearing people fucking at the Brooklyn Public Library, lol.) 💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

My knee-jerk response in terms of prose has to be it's never over (hey, orpheus). Even though I've posted so little of it so far I've been writing it on and off for about 2 years now, it's spawned the two other standalones I've posted, and it's my baby. A baby I am stuck on, constantly banging my head over and changing my mind about every two days as my writing has changed a bit since I started it way back when, but still my baby nonetheless.

But realistically, the work that I actually like the best is the beloved name, exiled. I don't know if that's cheating since it's not exactly prose and has zero functional plot, but it's the only fandom related thing I've ever written so quickly and in such an inspired fury, and I'm actually proud of it still.

[tsuki-sennin]

"ppl who celebrate character birthdays are annoying pass it on"

FUCK this post, and Happy Birthday Neon Kurama~! ...right, so you know it's all gonna go horribly wrong, but she's our friend! We support her!

Spoilers, I guess...

-What a massive L the Jyamato have taken.

-Garden Grandpa has become Construction Grandpa!

-OOOOOOOH

-Oh hey Daichi. Just sorta hangin' around, huh?

-I don't blame you tbh, I'd be sitting on my ass too.

-April 4th! That's two days from now!

-:)

-Happy Basuday~!

-...:(

-They kidnapped the poor girl on her birthday.

-"What do you even get the Celebrity 'It' Girl who has everything? ...aside from loving parents, treatment like a normal human being, a boyfriend who isn't over twice her age, and a break from creepy weirdos on the internet?"

-...three, five, and seven, huh?

-Keiwa's just totally numb to all of Ace's... Ace-iness.

-Toro, toro!

-It's a Toreador! Just like the ones referenced in that indie horror game from 2014! Octodad: Dadliest Catch!

-...is this just the Seito/Touto proxy battle arena from Build? I think it is, at least, I'm probably wrong.

-Beroba continues to Bull-y Michinaga for her entertainment.

-Fight!

-I swear, by my sword and capote, that I will once again prove victorious!

-Bullfight!

-Rook! Bishop! Buffa! All the most powerful chess pieces!

-Shut the fuck up Chirami, you ain't doing shit.

-"Happy Birthday :)"

-Na-Go Stans are wildin'

-We win, we party!

-Hot damn, Keiwa!

-Oooooh, disarming yourself for a shot? Clever.

-Oh, whoops! Bero be cheatin', who coulda guessed!

-"You cheated. You didn't learn, you didn't improve."

-Oh God, Beroba's gonna leak her DMs.

-Gotta win!

-Oh hello, Kyuun.

-"A present! For me~?"

-"No! >:( ...Maybe :("

-You're so full of crap, man.

-Free Boost~!

-Sweet and salty! Just like sea-salt ice cream!

-Word of advice lads, be honest.

-OH FUCK, IT'S DAD

-...I think I forgot his name, I'm just gonna call him Papa Naoto until I remember it.

-You're only like... marginally better a parent than your wife, man. And that's only because you don't hit her or constantly try restraining her.

-...man, I just realized, Neon suffers trauma from being kidnapped at a young age and her mother just... holds her captive. Irony at its most fucked up.

-To be quite honest, I don't think Kyuun'd be much better company than Jeff Pesos or whoever Izumi had in mind.

-Man, these supporter plotlines are so interesting, holy shit.

-Ah, yep. There's Ace. Looking into it.

-"Geats. How unexpected."

-...Waaaait...

-"I've had quite enough of family matters from last season, thank you very much."

-KOUSEI, THAT'S HIS NAME

-Ace, you don't just walk up to a girl and lay her backstory out like that.

-I'll give Kousei credit, he at least seems legitimately worried.

-Doesn't even seem to have a scratch on her. Seems a little at odds with the depiction of the kidnapping itself, huh?

-Man... Can't even cake.

-Time for the mountain lion to descend upon the bull.

-...shit, that was lame. Pretend you never noticed that.

-OH?

-Okay, it's Ace time!

-Beroba's such a scrublord. Or uh... scrublady, as the case may be.

-Ooooooh, boy!

-Set!

-Dual On! Ninja! Magnum!

-Ready, Fight!

-Get splashed, idiot!

-"Two, huh?"

-Set!

-Ooooooh, he's not going into Laser Boost, okay!

-That's neat! They kept that suit around!

-PNGTuber Beroba.

-Ohhhhhh noooo

-You're an absolutely horrendous excuse of human being, Beroba.

-Great job Takahashi, banger villain. Especially you Namika-san, you're putting in a fantastic performance <3

-Ohhh, Ace is MAD mad.

-Everybody loves Na-Go-san!

-...holy shit, that is so cruel. They just

-Instantly went on a targeted harassment campaign.

-AKARI?

-Ohhhh

-...that's

-That's depressing as fuck.

-...that goes a long way to explain why Izumi was so controlling and Kousei dumped all his money into... I'm gonna be completely honest, what's basically a snuff film ring.

-Why would he let Giroli pick Neon to play then?

-"She was lying" SHUT THE FUCK UP

-Completely ruined my homegirl's life.

-Fucking MURDER that thing, Ace.

-Oh shit, Kyuun! My dude!

-Next episode.

-#NaGoSweep!

[bobs-secret-blog]

Lost hope

Giyu x reader

Authores note:first fic on tumblr and its angst. Sorry but im in the mood, hope you enyoy reading tho. Love ya ●>●

A nurses life was at times a stressful one. Patients were at times horrible and sometimes times you had to take care of absolute perverts. But it all paid off at the end of the day. Because you could see your soon to be husband again!

His name was Yuka Imalai, he was a doctor at the small villiage hospital you worked at. He taught you everything you know. You had been dating for 2 years now and you were happy. Everything was going great between you two. Your wedding was in 2 weeks. You had planed everything from the cake to the guest lists. And you were going to have a great honeymoon.

But right now Yuka was having a code red surgery on two patients. One in a critical condition and on the blink of death, the other lost an arm. Yuka was stressed as all hell but adventualy mannaged to pull it off with them.

It was 2 days after the operation.Yuka instructed you to do some minor check ups and blood work while he gets to another surgery.

So with no time to waist you went into the first patients room, his chest was covered in bandages along with his arms and whole neck. You picked up his chart from the table.

Sanemi Shinazugawa.

Huh. Sounded almost familiar. Maybe an ex-patient perhaps? Oh weel. Whatever it was could wait after the whole checkup. So you had begun to take some blood samples, cleaning wounds and changing bandages. Finaly done.

You werw heading to the second patients room just down the hall, suprised to see he was awake. He had short black hair, ocean blue eyes. One arm was missing while the other was bandaged. He just looked at the ground the whole time. Looking so woried and deppressed. How sad. Walking over to the table you picked up a paper.

"Giyu Tomioka?"

He looked at you, eyes widening with shock. Oh man what did you do this time. He slowly says

"(Y/n) ? Is it realy you? Oh god please tell me i finaly found you again!!! Please ill never let you down again! Im sorry about Kocho , i promise"

Oh wow he must have been brain damaged.

"Sir please calm down, your going to hurt yourself again. Plus i realy dont know you sir."

Thats the moment the tears broke down. A anguishing, grief filled scream erupted from him and waterfalls from his eyes. It hurt so bad. Having been scared by his actions you quickly left the room asking a different nurse to help. She had finished up with Giyu an hour later, and let me tell you he was a menace. Franticaly trashing around and asking for only you for him. It was whatever for you, but not for Giyu. Even if you dont remember him, he remembers you.

It was two years back when he was 19, he married you when he was very young at 17. Oh how naive you were to think he could be loyal. But at first everything went great, you were the awesome couple everyone dreamed to be. Everybody was jealous of your love towards each other, even some of the demon slayers. You were as happy as you could be, spending free days with your husband. Going on vacations with him, cooking together, planning your future, talking about children for the future. Everything was perfect....

Until Giyu started acting weird.

He was rarely home for dinners, didnt take the bentos you made him. He didnt even want to sleep with you in your bed anymore. It started to be suspicious towards you, so you came up with a conclusion. He was cheating on you.

You thought you were crazy at frist, a mad woman thinking her husband who kills demons for a job is being unloyay to her? Yeah thats it. You were done with his bullshit after a couple of months. Wanting to just go away from him and be happy again like you were at the start of your marriage. You wanted the divorce. And oh yes,

you fucking got it.

One night at 12pm when you were on the verge of tears, waiting for Giyu to come home. He wasnt even on a mission, so where was he ? Just as you began to lose hope the door to your house had slammed open. Revealing a messy haired Giyu. His cheeks pink and blushy. Buttons of his uniform unbuttoned at the top. "Where were you Giyu?"

"Out on a patrol, saving people (Y/n). Cant you ever get that through your thick skull?"

" Dont lie to me Giyu, you didnt have patrols tonight. You were with someone. Just please. Tell me who it is so i can let it go." He didnt even fucking look at you while you were talking.

"Giyu just fucking tell m-"

"It was Kocho god dammit! It was always her! From the first day that i met her i feel in love! I love her more than i will ever love you, she is more perfect in so many ways! I love HER !"

You knew it. It was always her, how could you be so blind all this time?

With one final look at him, you grabbed your bags and headed ot to live with your family. Only until you got back onto your feet and started working somewhere.

Your mama and papa were super supportive along with ypur brother Eiji and big sisters Fumiko and Rina. You found a job as a nurse in a small hospital. And there you met Yuka, he was everything you had ever wanted from a partner. But the most important thing was that you were happy.

Unlike Giyu. Kocho made his life a living hell. Bullying him to such agony, he was happy she died earlyer than him. He cried his heart out. Hoping that maybe one day he will meet you. Adventualy he did, in the hospital. But to what? You didnt remember him.

He cried all night. Wanting to see you again after a week, only to be told you had gone away.

It has now been 3 yeears since you married Yuka and you were very happy. You had twins now! You decided to name them Hiroki and Tsuneo. Both boys having looks on their mother. Only having their fathers strange orange eyes.

As for Giyu, he was still searching for you. He spent all he had on his travels. Including the once precious sword he fought battles with. After some time he had stoped. Lost all hope. Now laying at the back of his house next to the bedroom window. The same one you used to sing through in the morning. In the house you both used to live in, and the house you left.

And there he laid on the grass, blood preciously pouring out of his body. Ravens pecking his skin here and there, blood starting to dry up. Maybe he didnt feel happy in the real world, but here in the afterlife he is widely smilling. Beacause he is here with you, thats all he had. And thats all he will ever get for now. Still hoping that he will find you in another life. Where you will be happy and free of troubles.

But for now this happiness will have to do, until you come back to him again.

[vi-sigoth]

if its not too personal, related to your rb on that marriage post, how did you get over being used up by your first relationship and eventually remarry? most women in your situation would either become much more feministic or whatever, and completely or mostly relinquish any thought of traditional living or "roles", or they would harden and never marry or enter a serious relationship again.

So, that relationship I was talking about—he was just my long-term boyfriend, we never married (thank fucking god, what a disaster that would have been, I’m so glad I didn’t get what I thought I wanted at the time).

But I’m very sad to say that I unfortunately did become “feministic” and very, very bitter. But I never gave into it entirely, and I never entirely gave up hope. When I was with my ex, we’ll call him “first ex” I started to hate men. I hated men, I didn’t trust them, I thought that all men were stupid and violent, and all men were liars, cheaters, and were not really capable of any form of love that I recognized. And if that sounds like a very sad way to live, it’s because it was. And SO MANY men and women think like this about the opposite sex. It’s just so devastating to me.

My parents are still married, but their relationship is very strange and rocky. I got with another guy shorty after First Ex. Now understand, First Ex, on paper, was actually pretty compatible with me. He was very based and racist, had similar religious views to me, and had similar moral, political and philosophical views. He was a lot older than me, which is what I thought I liked and what I wanted at the time.

But for all his claims about believing this and that, he didn’t live up to any of his views. Women were all untrustworthy whores to him, and he had cheated on every single girlfriend or wife he had ever had in his adult life, and was a porn addict. (Which is why, fellas and girlies, please thoroughly vet that cool “”””based”””” Tumblr trad person you’re thinking about e-dating. There are some people in the world who are very, very good at posturing) Second Ex was an on again off again thing for the next couple of years, and he was a degenerate leftist. Every single cringe leftist view you can name, he believed it. At the time, I lived in a section of a city that was very artsy, so I was surrounded by similar degenerate leftist men who were hitting on me all the time. Some of them were married or had girlfriends.

So given all of this, can you see why I hated men? I mean I hated men so, so, so, much.

But I never stopped believing that I would find a man who would loved me as much as I loved him, who would be my other half, who shared my views and values and who wanted to have me as a wife and mother to his children. I never stopped carrying that hope in my heart, even when I was lonely, single, and surrounded by losers. And that’s the other thing, the really difficult thing. Who dated a guy that pretended to be trad and based but actually wasn’t? Who then bounced almost immediately to a weaselly leftist cuck? Who surrounded themself with leftist urbanite male and female artists and academics?

Me. I did this to myself. I constantly accepted behavior I hated and disagreed with. I constantly bit my tongue while people around me agreed with things and behaved in ways I found disgusting and reprehensible because I was a weak coward that was afraid of making trouble or stirring the pot or standing up for what I believed in. I love my dad. He’s a dick. But do love him, and I owe part of the fact that I knew to eventually accept responsibility for my own behavior because I had a mother and a father that always tried to instill in me to not blame others for my problems and not have a victim mentality in my life. I had to accept that the reason I had this poisonous mindset, and that I was in my late 20s and still unmarried was about 95 percent my own doing.

It doesn’t excuse any of the horrible things my two ex boyfriends did to me, they were both uniquely awful people. But taking responsibility for my fuck ups, which was not an easy thing to do, because I REALLY fucked up my early 20s in so many ways, and recognizing that I needed to surround myself with better people is what led me to having friends that actually enrich my life and make it better, and not hating men so much led me to being open to men hitting on me (obviously, it didn’t mean I had to give them the time of day, just that I didn’t have to be so rude and aggressive like I used to be) and opening up my heart just a little bit is how I met my husband

I think that young people need to do this. You see men and women going the same, but opposite way. “All the women in this club are such whores! 😤” brother, what are you doing looking for a wife in a nightclub? “All men are trash!” Well sis, you aren’t generally going to find a good dude in your OnlyFans DMs. There’s a lot more to say about this, but really—for me, taking responsibility for my own actions and getting away from shit people is how I didn’t fall into the liberal feminist pit of despair.

And another thing? I realized that birth control is poison and I threw it in the trash one beautiful day in the early spring of 2020.

[lovesongrecs]

so, funnily enough, i actually switched over to ao3 really quickly to read some stuff there because nothing in the tumblr tags (speaking of, i giggled a bit too hard at 'not beta read cus im raw as fuck' than i should have) was really appealing to me so seeing the little note at the end made me jump bc!!! obviously... i must return to the motherland and support in any way i can because GOD. this was just too good

i almost never leave reviews anymore, let alone Tag my reblogs, seeing as i am way too out of it because i have the very horrible and cruel and unfortunate habit of reading before bed (they're my bedtime stories!) and into the early hours of the morning where my brain is no longer capable of forming coherent sentences but this... This just has my brain up and running and ready to go like FFFSGHSHDHD

honestly, this did not go the way i had thought it would HOWEVER!!!! 🤓☝🏼 i am not mad at it. I'm not mad at it at all actually in fact i'm GRATEFUL because i was absolutely dreading the part where seonghwa walks in. I was imagining a hundred different ways it could have gone and all i thought was its so over... mc and seonghwa are so over and no one's gonna be happy except maybe yunho and like . The rest of ateez that made an appearance and told mc to dump hwa but i think i would have been absolutely devastated and heartbroken if seonghwa dumped mc like. he's my bias and i would've taken it personally if this took an angsty turn (my heart literally cant take it. I love seonghwa) but luckily it didn't! i was so relieved it didn't — it felt like the weight of the world was magically lifted off my shoulders as if i actually was mc and cheating on my boyfriend with his teammate. i don't agree with cheating at all like not even in the slightest but like, seriously... why just have one when you can have two! the compromise of polyamory is kind of everything like everyone can be happy that way. Why fight and get upset and be sad when you can just get a new boyfriend and also a boyfriend for your boyfriend?

speaking of that actually, omg. i was pleasantly surprised to see mxm because . it's just too good and i wish more self-insert writers jumped at the opportunity when writing anything 3+ because it tickles my brain just the right way!! In my mind i've always just thought like why's it just the reader getting all the attention... guys can suck dick or get fucked as a little treat... stop being shy! Also i heavily misread that part i don't know how because it was as clear as day what was going to happen but still, for some reason my brain also short circuited and i thought seonghwa was gonna get dicked down too 😭 like i would've still read it either way (average fujoshi) but i wasn't expecting it at all and got literal whiplash trying to process what i was reading and then again when it dawned upon me that i couldn't have been more wrong LMFAOO

i dont know how. I think this is like the first time this sentence (compliment, really) has ever come out of me but the way you wrote yunho was just... so sexy???/? so Alluring. like yeah the whole point of smut is for a character to be sexy and have that sexual appeal that makes you want to jump their bones but i guess i just never really felt it as strongly (if at all) as i did when reading this because like holy fuck. I would have folded too? him being yunho was already enough (sorry hwa...) but the way he was written.... 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💥🚑 just too good. amazing even. i'll probably reread this again tomorrow between classes just because it was that good

compromise | j. yh & p. sh

♡ pairing: seonghwa x f!reader x yunho features yunho x seonghwa and minor yungi x reader ♡ chapters: 1 out of 1 ♡ word count: 11k ♡ rating: mature/18+ (minors dni) ♡ genre: university au, soccer!ateez, smut, established relationship, minor angst, polyamory ♡ warnings/tags: infidelity/cheating, mentions of alcohol and marijuana use, yunho has a big dick, switch!seonghwa, dirty talk, size kink if u squint, pet names (babe, baby, princess), degradation (use of nasty, whore, disgusting), oral (female giving), oral (male giving), choking, crying, hair pulling, unprotected sex, creampie, all the usual goodies

��� synopsis: your relationship with seonghwa is crumbling before your very eyes. in a moment of weakness, yunho has you succumbing to your desires but you end up getting more than you bargained for.

♡ author’s note:  howdy everyone !! i present to u ... compromise... >:3 likes, comments or reblogs are all greatly appreciated! if u enjoyed this lil tidbit, then dont be shy and drop a request!! or just giv me some good ole luv in the ask box... ♡

Winter has been cold; the winds unrelenting, the showers heavy, but most notably it was the loneliest of seasons. Months filled with ghostly kisses and slivers of physical intimacy that you could only reminisce of for so long. 

Following the arrival of the lively blooms, you prayed for more opportunity as your newfound faith rose with the sun. Spring marks new beginnings — or so they say.  The warm radiance of clear skies and gentle rains grace your heavy heart with hope. Things will be different this time around. Surely. 

You long for Seonghwa's company, but you could never get more than a moment alone with the man. Maybe it was your fault for dating such a busy body, but you don't think so. The first year was filled with lovely memories and unforgettable dates, yet all too fast everything slipped away before you had any control over it. 

Seonghwa is popular, smart, diligent, and responsible. With his final year at university nearing an end, his days were constantly in motion. Juggling a near perfect GPA whilst doing extracurriculars meant he had little to no time for leisurely activities. Leisurely activities included you, his girlfriend. 

As of last semester Seonghwa's schedule went accordingly: Mondays are spent volunteering at the local nursing home. Tuesday through Thursday he works at the dainty little flower shop by the library and Sundays are reserved for homework and studying. On top of it all, there was mandatory soccer practice every weekday evening. 

One would think that left him the weekend to spend with his lonesome lover, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. That's what you wish to believe, but you know better at this point.

"I'm sorry, babe. Mr. Sung had an emergency at the retirement home, I don't think I can make it tonight." 

"Shit! I have a test on Monday, I have to study... I'm so sorry, love. I'll make it up to you!"

"An important client needs me to stay and arrange twenty bouquets for her. I'm really sorry, baby..." 

His apologies came far too frequent, and you had grown tired of his antics. You understand his priorities, but it was clear you were not at the top of the list. You're not sure if you were even on the list at all. 

Despite his negligence, you still continue to try your best for him in the belief he'll slowly begin to reciprocate attention to you as he used to. No matter how demoralized, you still wished to maintain an image as his perfect girlfriend. Routinely you bring him coffee every morning, pack his lunch, attend his practices and games, yadda yadda… All the good stuff.

All of this is done with uncertain optimism though your insecurities are heavily laced in between each action. All you could really do is stay hopeful at this point. 

Come the first home soccer game of Spring, your ass is presently glued to the metal bleachers as you're seated before the field. The players are hustling along the range, gunning for dominance over the ball. Your best friend Mingi sits beside you, the two of you sharing a large throw that's spread across from shoulder to shoulder. 

Even with the rays of sunlight flickering between wisps of sullen clouds, the air still brings a chill with it. Blankets were a necessity at games like these. Huddling with the larger male proves to bring much needed warmth as you're cozying up to each other between idle chatter. 

Mingi is a defender for KQ University's soccer team, but due to an unforeseen injury he has been forced to the bench until further notice. Thankfully, you have each other for company during his recovery. 

Focusing between your small talk and watching your boyfriend, you're caught off guard by your companion's next words and nearly double take at him. 

"You and Hwa still having troubles?" 

You let out a quiet murmur, akin to denial and watch as the ball is passed to Seonghwa. 

"Uh..." 

The blonde maneuvers skillfully along the field before rounding his leg back and swinging precisely, shooting straight into the opposing team's goal. 

Immediately everyone erupts into cheers and you can't help but to join them, not willing yourself to verbalize your answer at the other man's question. A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth. That's your Seonghwa: striker extraordinaire! Boyfriend? Not as extraordinary. 

"You don't have to beat around the bush. I can see it all over your face. You're like an open book," Mingi points out bluntly as he speaks over the roaring crowd.

If you were such an open book then why couldn't Seonghwa pick up on how distressed you were? 

"Just admit it, you guys haven't been on a date in weeks and god knows how long it’s been since you’ve been laid." Although his words sting, you know what he says is true. You visibly wince and give a sharp nudge to his ribs, earning a pained whine from his end. 

"Shut up, man! There's only so much I can do with a guy that busy." 

Folding your arms over your chest, a frustrated sigh comes from you. Mingi has since begun to belt out suggestions, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he does so.

"Just break up?" 

As if it were that easy.

"I don't know about that one..." 

You're only half listening at this point, your eyes scanning the expanse of the field until they fall upon another player who is currently running up to Seonghwa and high-fiving him. 

The man in question is tall, even taller than the giant beside you. He’s also incredibly handsome. He didn't fit the status of conventionally attractive, yet his presence isn’t one you can dismiss easily. With a towering frame and broad shoulders, it’s hard for you not to notice.

And his uniform? God. His sweat laden jersey sticks to the outline of his chiseled chest, fabric clinging and accentuating his lean form. Even worse, the shorts he wore did nothing to hide his set of long, muscular legs. You can feel yourself warming up considerably as you ogle him shamelessly from head to toe.

After their high-five he’s bouncing along the grass with a newfound spurt of energy and returning to his spot by the goal. When the ball is back in play, he takes on a defensive position, knees bent forward as his gloved hands are held out before him. Can't forget the big hands and nice ass too. 

Your eyes flicker to his backside. Unable to help yourself, your stare is glued to him as you swallow thickly once he bends over, trying to ignore the full display of his butt before you. God, what were you doing? 

"Ok, I know you're lonely and desperate but Yunho is not someone you should be thirsting over." Mingi's deep rumble of warning breaks you from your stupor. You tear your eyes from the goalie and meet your friend's knowing expression, cheeks aflame in embarrassment from having been caught. 

"It doesn't hurt to look..." A guilty whisper comes from you as you return your focus to the goalkeeper, only to have your eyes widening in surprise when you're met by his own heated gaze. 

Despite the distance from the stands, you can see a wicked and knowing smirk forming on his lips. As if he can read your thoughts, he readies himself in position once more but not before shooting a sultry look in your direction. Oh. 

"That's more than just looking, babe. As his best friend and your best friend, trust me when I tell you it's not a good idea to get involved." Your companion can't help but to chastise you, shaking his head. Mingi is probably right though. He usually is.

Jeong Yunho is not someone you should be concerned with, yet there is an allusive and alluring pull to him. Everyone on the team is popular in their own right, but Yunho often has people flocking to him left and right. Amongst the boys, he and Seonghwa were probably the two most sought after men on campus. 

The goalie was known for his exuberance and friendliness, attracting attention from all types of people. In truth, it was hard for many to resist his charms. Not you though. You’d like to think you have a decent reign on your self control especially considering the fact you're not single. 

Even if that wasn’t the truth, the issue with Yunho is that he's a known heartbreaker. It was apparent that he didn't date or hook up often, despite his popularity. Even so, that only seemed to heighten his desirability. And regardless of that fact, word around campus was that he was infamous for having a huge dick.

The rumors stemmed from someone who was supposedly lucky enough to sleep with him, though nobody can confirm or deny. Whether true or false, many still try to gun for his attention in hopes of finding out.

Honestly, you shouldn’t even be interested in entertaining the idea. You barely even know the guy, only having chatted with him during practices and at the occasional party here and there. Not to mention you have your lovely, smart, gorgeous, busy… busy… boyfriend. Damn it, you're a horrible person. 

“Fuck!” With both hands slapping your cheeks, you groan out in frustration while sinking into your palms. 

Mingi raises his eyebrows and peers at you with a questioning look. 

“What?” 

“Dude, why am I thinking about Jeong Yunho's supposedly big dick?!” It's his turn to groan while he's rolling his eyes. 

As if things couldn't get any worse, you suddenly feel a pair of eyes on you again. The heavy stare that bores into you is enough of a tell that you don't dare to look forward, the goalie's shit eating grin taunting you from your peripherals. 

"Seriously? Could you have said that any louder? He's literally staring at you!" 

"Shut up, shut up! I know, dude!" 

"Please just... I don't know. Please, don't." 

After that you both sit in silence for the remainder of the game, left to linger amongst your own regretful thoughts. 

It's not long before the bleachers begin to shake as the crowd excitedly stomps and hollers. A roar of cheering erupts from the stands once the final score reflects 4-1, the timer paused on zero. 

In the rush of commotion you and Mingi forget the previous tension and untangle from the blanket, both of you stumbling slightly down the steps. You're quick to steal the throw, pulling it around yourself as you leave your seats, joining the team on the field. 

"Hey! Get back here!" 

Mingi shouts in complaint but trails after you nonetheless, catching up to you slowly as he rubs his arms and shivers.

You're both merging in the group of people crowding the team as everyone lets out celebratory cheers, animatedly chatting amongst each other. Mingi kisses your cheek and dips from you to join his fellow players. 

You're left to battle the masses, squeezing and weaving between bodies as you try to make your way to Seonghwa quickly. When you reach him, he's surrounded by some of his peers, all of them laughing while exchanging hugs and pats on the back. 

When he finally turns and sees you, his eyes light up. He's quick to wiggle away from everyone and he's pulling you into a bone crushing hug, lifting you off the ground and spinning you. 

The action surprises you but it's not unwelcome as you laugh and clutch onto him tightly, a squeal coming from you.

"Hwa!"

"Did you see me, baby? I can't believe we won!" You smile endearingly, though you can't help but chuckle at his comment. Of course they won. After all, they were one of the top soccer teams in the province.

He plants a single big wet kiss on your lips before he's setting you down, arms still wrapped around you. An adoring look crosses your face as he beams proudly. The familiarity of his hug was something you missed dearly, and you don’t even mind that he’s covered in dirt and grass stains. 

Perhaps corny on your end, but you didn’t want your hug with him to end. You don't remember the last time he held you so joyfully. You knew it was probably from the high of winning the game, but you can pretend just for a little while longer that it was because he missed you. 

"You did amazing, Hwa!" The stars in his eyes expand, twinkling with pride as you compliment him, his smile stretching impossible wide. Your heart stutters at the sight, making you want to melt entirely within his arms. 

You want to shower him with more praise but all too suddenly, he's being pulled away from you. You recognize his reluctance as he apologetically tips his head and mouths 'sorry' when the crowd pulls him away, tossing him up in their arms as they're chanting his name. 

"Party at Wooyoung's!"

"Drinks on Seonghwa!" 

They march further and further away from you, filing into the locker rooms as you watch from afar, standing pathetically by yourself on the field. The crowd has since dissipated and you're all too aware that you're alone now. 

The forgotten blanket is still draped around you, and you clutch it tighter around your frame as the breeze sends a shiver down your spine. 

"You should dump him, you know." 

You jump in shock and spin on your heel, head whipping in the direction of the new voice. You're met with the very same goalie you had been checking out earlier, a sense of guilt creeping over your back. How long was he standing behind you? 

"What?" You manage to say back to him, unsure of how to approach his suggestion. 

"I said you should dump him." 

Yunho stands tall and defiantly before you, arms folded over his chest as he cocks an eyebrow in amusement. You give him a once over before you frown, trying to look anywhere but at him. 

"You don't know anything." 

He doesn't miss your lingering look and the corner of his lips quirk up knowingly as he steps toward you. 

You stumble back, heart catching in your throat when you look up to meet his stare, his eyes swimming dangerously with an unknown emotion.

"I know enough, princess. A good girl like yourself wouldn't be eye fucking me if your boyfriend was taking care of you well enough," he pauses and leans past you, whispering hotly against the shell of your ear, " — or if he was fucking you properly." 

A tremble of desire ripples down your spine but you move back, flabbergasted by his statement. You're no sooner tripping over your own feet and you topple backwards, landing on your ass.

Yunho barks out in laughter, not bothering to offer you any help. The man is hunched over now, chuckling loudly as he stares at your frustrated form below him. He clutches his stomach and figuratively wipes his eye as if he'd just witnessed the funniest thing of his life.

"Fuck you," you spit back to him. 

“Just say when and I’m all yours.” 

You’re shocked by his admission, not daring to meet his eyes as your hand begins swiping the blades of grass under you. Though you're annoyed, you can't ignore the bubble of arousal that has spread through your belly. Yunho wants to fuck you. You rewind his words over and over again in your head, only snapping into focus when you hear Seonghwa’s voice calling out to you from a distance.

"Babe?" From several meters away, you see your boyfriend approaching closer in a light jog. He has since changed out of his uniform, and is now sporting a long sleeve with some form fitting jeans. 

"Are you ok? I didn't know you were friends with Yunho!" Seonghwa reaches you both shortly, oblivious to the situation before him, smiling from ear to ear as he begins to help you up. 

"I’m ok. I just tripped, that's all..." You offer an uncertain smile, standing up and wiping the debris from your pants. 

"Hey, man! I was just asking her if she's coming to the party." Yunho throws his arm over Seonghwa, giving him a side hug before he's veering off toward the locker rooms.

"Gonna go shower. See ya both there!"

You're left with Seonghwa as the goalie's form disappears into the building. You shouldn't be upset now that you have some alone time with your boyfriend, but the encounter leaves you unsettled and questioning yourself. 

You swallow nervously and lace your fingers with the man before you, gently tugging him along toward the parking lot.

"Let's go get ready, yeah?" He nods his head and lets you lead the way, happily swinging your hands.

"I missed you, babe. I can't wait for the party." 

The guilt continues to fester at the back of your mind but you force it away, mustering up a half hearted smile. 

"I missed you too."

The Jung family was known for being wealthy, so securing their beloved son a lavish 3 story building within your college town was no hard feat. Given Wooyoung's spacious living situation he also housed some of his fellow players. One being his closest buddy, Choi San, two being your best friend, Song Mingi and the third roomie was none other than the infamous goalie himself. 

To say you're familiar with the house is an understatement, having stayed over on many occasions whether it be for a soccer function, party or to hang out with Mingi. The building itself is huge, reminiscent of someone's dream home but it was a little closer to a frat house than anything given the current occupants. 

By the time you reach Wooyoung's, the sun is already setting beneath the skyline. In typical party fashion, there are people pouring in and out of the door and you see a few stragglers who are already wasted, strewn about the front yard. 

The music is at full blast, some unfamiliar hip hop beats pumping from the speakers. The noise grows louder as you both near the entrance, the volume of chatter mixing in with the tempo of the current song. 

When you and Seonghwa step through the bustling entryway of the Jung manor, a chorus of drunken cheers are heard amidst the packs of various friend groups. 

"Yo! There's the man of the hour!" Wooyoung is ever the host as he’s quick to greet you two, shoving a can of beer into Seonghwa's hand while he slings an arm around his shoulder.

"M'lady," he playfully curtsies to you, despite the awkward entanglement of he and Seonghwa's limbs, "help yourself to some drinks. The boys want to take some celebratory shots to get things rolling!"

"Thanks, Woo!" You grin back at him and follow along as you're led toward the kitchen. Bottles of hard liquor amass the counter along with littered and forgotten red solo cups, some full and others empty.

The crowd is more dense in this room, all the soccer players packed around the island as they're downing shot after shot. Seonghwa is quick to join them, abandoning your company when he’s encouraged by their enthusiastic hooting. 

The sight brings a smile to your face but your expression morphs into something unpleasant when he hooks his elbow with Yunho, both of them throwing down their beverages in unison. 

You don't miss how Yunho's adam's apple bobs as he tips his glass back or how a dribble of tequila trails down his chin from his lips. When his eyes meet yours, they're narrowed playfully. There's a knowing glint behind his gaze that has you promptly turning on your heel. 

With your back to the crowd, you're squeezing past the lot as you direct yourself elsewhere. You spare Mingi a pat in passing and maneuver toward the opposite side of the kitchen where you reach for a solo cup, opting to fill it from the massive dispenser of jungle juice in the corner. You make a mental note to come back for shots later once it's less crowded.

As you're filling your drink a hand lands on your shoulder, giving you a soft squeeze that makes you jolt in surprise. The liquid sloshes in your cup, narrowly missing your clothes. You turn to the perpetrator and immediately breathe a sigh of relief when you recognize the voice.

"Careful with that. It'll fuck you up good." 

"Hongjoong! You scared the hell out of me!" 

The man in question laughs and bumps his shoulder to yours. He's nursing his own drink which he holds up to you, nodding his head. Hongjoong and you go way back, both having an unspoken mutual respect for each other.

You've known him as long as you've known Seonghwa, but the both of them have been friends for many years prior so you have nothing on that. Even though he's not a part of the main roster, Hongjoong is the manager for the team, which makes him just as important. 

The two of you met through Mingi and you both bonded instantly, enjoying each other's presence. You aren't necessarily close, but you're far from anything unfriendly. You’re also dating his best bud, so it was hard to avoid him if things were any different. 

"Cheers!" 

"Bottoms up, Joong." 

You clink your plastic cup to his and you're both gulping down the booze in one go, a grimace overtaking your features as the concoction of alcohol and juice washes over you. Whatever that was, it was nasty. 

“Dude, who made this? Isn’t jungle juice supposed to NOT taste like alcohol?”

“Probably some dumb ass.”

And that's how the rest of the night proceeds. In between failing to get Seonghwa's attention and socializing with various people (mostly Hongjoong), you're left to your own vices for nearly an hour. Like the others though, Hongjoong soon finds better company amongst his peers. 

It hasn’t been long since your arrival yet you're feeling the effects of the alcohol already. Seonghwa has since been whisked away by his other friends, easily forgetting you in the midst of celebrations. It's nothing new, but the substance does help dull the pain. 

To say you’re upset is an understatement. Does Seonghwa just not care? You even did up your makeup a little cuter today. Forgoing your usual attire, you wear a black strappy and skimpy little number tonight. You weren't one to usually show off your assets but it didn't matter since your efforts went unnoticed, leaving you high and dry. 

Submitting defeat, you make up your mind and decide you would have fun regardless of your relationship. Fuck Seonghwa. You’re at a party, so you might as follow its intended purpose. 

You've already made your rounds within the house several times, chatting amongst your friends only briefly before you wind back up in the kitchen. Although you're not quite drunk yet, you're definitely getting there as you begin to wobble over to the counter of spirits.

You're finishing your second helping of jungle juice once you've arrived at the island. A random liquor bottle is plucked from the selection and with the emptied solo cup in hand, you're quick to pour some expensive looking vodka, filling it halfway before you knock it back hastily. No chaser necessary. The sting is immediate, burning down your throat as you try not to gag down the rest.

Drinking the substance was akin to what you imagine rubbing alcohol tastes like. Disgusting, but it does the job. The cup is tossed aside and you wipe your mouth with your hand before you trudge toward the open doors of the backyard, the last area you've yet to explore for the night. 

The moon now rises within the darkened skies, illuminating the expanse of the yard. From here, the music is a bit more muted and the chatter is quieter. Centered in the middle of the space was a pool, where some people were lounging about. Not a good spot for a tipsy girl like yourself. 

Further to the side, the pungent smell of marijuana wafts from the corner where a large fire pit roars alive. Some familiar faces surround the area and from afar you can see they’re passing around a joint. You're quick to abandon your post by the doors, stumbling toward the lull of the flames. 

"Miiiingi," you call out as you approach closer, slinging your arms around the said man.

Mingi turns slightly at the mention of his name and catches you just in time as you throw yourself into him, a loopy smile on your lips. 

"Damn… You look,” he whistles lowly, “how many drinks have you had?" 

"How do I look? And like... only a few!" 

You drop your hold from him and step away to do a little drunk twirl, stumbling slightly. He raises his eyebrows in amusement but still claps his hands nonetheless.

"You look good enough to eat, babe. And I hope ‘a few’ doesn’t include the pitcher of that god awful jungle juice. I think Wooyoung threw anything and everything in there." 

"Maaaaybe two of those and a shot!" A shot being that half cup of vodka earlier, which was basically two shots if you think about it. Mingi didn’t need to know that though.

He just shrugs his shoulders and smiles lightly. He wasn't one to stop you if you wanted to let loose. You grin and squeeze his hand once, thankful he wasn’t too concerned over your lack of sobriety. As you’re stepping around him and circling the fire pit, you greet the others surrounding you, not wishing to be rude.

To Mingi's left, your friends Yeosang, San and Jongho are in a deep debate as the lingering smoke from the weed and burning wood mixes within the air. They all wave at you and quickly return to their conversation. You think you hear something along the lines of whether or not mint chocolate chip is the superior ice cream flavor, but you don't really know. 

To the opposite side of Mingi, Yunho nods his head to you as he reclines in a woven lawn chair with his legs spread apart. Even in your current state you don’t miss the way his eyes are greedily raking over your exposed form, taking in every inch of skin you’re showing. His actions have you shifting nervously on the balls of your feet and you don���t know how to approach him. 

Regardless of the fact that you are ready or not, you have to face him now. Against your better judgment, you think you should enjoy his attention while you can and at this point, you were getting too drunk to care.

You aren’t sure if it’s the alcohol in your system or your disarray of emotions, but you can hardly ignore how the denim of his jeans hug his muscular thighs or how his white t-shirt rides up a little when he leans back, showing you just a sliver of his skin.

You’re both readily checking each other out and it makes you feel hot with shame. His eyes are hazy from the effects of the cannabis and he's taking a long drag before holding it up in your direction. 

"Hey, princess. You want a hit?" A billow of smoke rolls over his lips as he speaks, voice low and gravelly from the dryness in his throat. You swear you’ve never seen anything sexier than the sight of him before you. 

"Don't call me that," you murmur as you snatch the joint from his hand and inhale from it, sucking in a bit too sharply. The smoke that fills your lungs all too soon comes out in sputters and it has you coughing out several times. 

The sound of Yunho's hearty and familiar laughter joined with Mingi's fills your ears, making your face burn with embarrassment. If you could dig a hole right now and hide in it, you would. You roll your eyes and pass the end of the blunt to Mingi while trying to recompose yourself. 

"What brings you out here, pretty girl?" Yunho questions you, but you both know why. Mingi knows too, yet he chooses to ignore the unspoken tension between you two as he's too preoccupied finishing off the last of the joint.

"You know, the usual," you slur a bit as you speak, noting how the alcohol seems to pump more heavily through your veins, " — Hwa is too busy to pay attention to me so I may as well get as crossed as I can tonight." 

"I told you that you should just break up with him." Mingi crushes the remainder of the joint under his shoe as he speaks, eyeing you warily. 

"Yeah! You're clearly not having fun worrying about him!" Jongho suddenly butts into the conversation, his statement being followed by several nods and a chorus of verbal agreements from the rest of the boys.

"I wasn't aware that my relationship was everyone and their mother's business." You huff in response.

“Just because Hwa is our friend doesn’t mean we don’t know he’s a shitty boyfriend to you,” Yeosang pitches in. 

“He’s not a bad guy. I just don’t know if he deserves that… And you guys make it sound like dumping him is the easiest thing in the world.” 

You groan loudly at their insistent suggestions. All you've heard tonight is people telling you to break it off with him, but he’s still the man you fell in love with. You wish things weren’t so complicated. 

“Him being a good guy is different from him being a good boyfriend. If you’re not happy, you shouldn’t stay with him,” San adds with a firm nod.

"Well whatever you do, they’re still right,” you're about to complain again but Yunho is quick to grab your hand, “Like Jongho said, you're not having fun, so let's go dance."

He’s standing up abruptly as he tugs on your hand, leading you back inside and toward the lively mass of dancing bodies within the house. The boys cheer in unison and follow suit, filing into the packed living room.

Within the dim space the lights are set down low and in the area where the speakers occupy there’s a set of disco lights atop, flickering from corner to corner, the gradient of multiple hues bobbing every which way.  

Your group is weaving through the crowd of bodies until you’re all within the center of the dancing where you’re being sandwiched between both Mingi and Yunho. The room is unbearably hot, yet you’re too intoxicated to care as you lose yourself to the sultry song that plays through the house. 

In front of you Mingi is clutching onto your shoulders as he easily moves himself to the beat of the music, swaying from side to side. From behind Yunho is holding your waist and you feel him bumping against your backside as he dances. You almost feel overwhelmed between the two men, but your arms loop around Mingi’s torso and you close your eyes, allowing yourself to rock against their bodies. 

The boys brought you inside to have fun and you don’t want to waste the rest of the night worrying about your relationship. You’re between two ridiculously handsome men, so you might as well indulge a little. 

Yunho's breath is hot against your neck as you drop your head back on his shoulder, eyes fluttering open to meet his half lidded stare. Beneath his stare is the look of something unidentifiable again, a dangerous and lustful glint. The movements never stop even as his grip tightens around you, his large hands over your hips. 

"You look so fucking sexy tonight," Yunho's whisper is almost lost to the volume of the music but you hear him clearly as he mutters into your ear. You bite your lip at his compliment and feel your body heating up. 

"Want to rip this tiny dress off your body." He continues his onslaught of suggestive words, not faltering even as you press yourself instinctively to his crotch. 

You're not surprised that he's hard against your ass but you are shocked by the sheer feeling of his size outlined beneath the fabric of his denim. Even with the jeans covering him, you can tell that the rumors are definitely true. 

The thought of his dick alone has something stirring within your loins and you can't help but to grind yourself harder against his growing erection as a whine threatens to bubble up from your throat. 

"You like that, princess?" His hold slides down from your waist and he toys with the hem of your dress, fingers dancing along the material teasingly. 

His blatant flirting has you feeling nervous but you can't deny how turned on you are at the way he touches and gropes at you within the public eye. 

Mingi is either too high to care or completely unaware of the situation as his body bumps against yours. His elbows slack on your shoulders but you can tell he's enjoying himself from the dopey grin he has as he's watching the scene unfold before him. So much for heeding his warning about Yunho. He didn't even seem to care anymore. 

If not for your friend dancing alongside you, the sight of you rubbing yourself against Yunho would definitely look suspicious. At this point, you're not sure if being caught in the act bothers you though. You're much too faded and you're reveling in the feeling of both their hands all over you. Any guilt that still threatens to ruin your night is now easily disregarded.

The actions of your bodies gyrating against each other has made your dress ride up, revealing more of your already exposed thighs. With the way your lacy black underwear is just barely beginning to peek out beneath your skimpy dress, it takes Yunho everything in his willpower not to spread your legs right there and fuck you with his fingers. 

You don't notice your indecency, but Yunho certainly does. Luckily he and Mingi are there to block the view from any prying eyes. He wouldn't want to share such a sinful sight with anyone else anyway. 

"Do you want to take this upstairs?" 

You should say no, but you find yourself nodding instead and allowing him to pull you backwards. 

Mingi doesn’t seem to mind the absence of your body and easily bids you both farewell as he drunkenly looks for a new dance partner once you're both stumbling through the mass of moving bodies. 

With his larger hand clasped over yours, Yunho is leading you through the string of scattered party goers until you're both practically tripping up the stairs. 

You know you should acknowledge the feeling of shame that looms over you, but there's a thrum of excitement filling your senses. The thrill of entertaining such a heinous act drives you further into some sick type of high. 

As you and Yunho are both hurrying to his room, you fail to see your boyfriend hovering close by the bottom of the stairwell. The drink he has is downed in one go before he's crushing the cup in his hand and tossing it over his shoulder. There is a surge of alcohol and rage pumping through his blood as he begins to ascend the steps after you.

When you reach Yunho’s room, he leads you inside and kicks the door shut behind him. Although the room is pitch black it doesn’t stop how he clutches onto your waist and pushes you into the door as he begins to kiss you heavily.

There is no hesitance to claim your lips while his large hands are eager to explore the expanse of your scantily clad body. His touch is everywhere at once and you're breathless as he attacks your lips with fervor, drinking in your kisses whilst groaning breathlessly into your mouth. 

It shouldn't feel so good to have him touching you, but each brush of his fingers feels electrifying on your skin, driving you more mad with each passing second. 

All too soon he's pulling away from your mouth and backing up until you hear the click of him switching on the lamp nearby. A dull light floods the space, the interior of his room filling your vision. You’re momentarily distracted and briefly take a minute to examine the minute details of his living arrangements. 

By the corner rests a black recliner and a shelf lined with family photos and awards from the numerous sports he’s played. Miscellaneous equipment and video games are scattered about the room amongst his various clothes. Everything looked pretty standard for a college guy like himself.

When he sees you're preoccupied taking in the sight of your surroundings, he uses the chance to shed his clothes, leaving only his boxer briefs. Once done, he's quick to lay back on his mattress, which rests at the center of his room and he sits up against the pillows while motioning for you to come closer. 

You don't move at first, eyes zeroing in on the man who lays before you. Despite the lamp’s dull luminance you can still make out the toned muscles that sculpt his lean figure. Beneath his abs, a faint trial of his hair disappears beneath the band of his undergarments. The shape of his erection straining against the fabric of his underwear has you squirming in place. 

“Princess, my eyes up here.” Immediately your head snaps up to meet his smug look, grin tugging at his lips. Even with the short garb on your body, you feel suddenly overdressed when you ogle his bare form. 

He’s staring at you beneath his heavy lids, lust evident within his eyes. The effects of the marijuana still clouds his mind but he's never felt better. 

“Strip for me.” The command rings in your ears, a low timber in his voice as his hand creeps over his present bulge. He’s no sooner palming himself, stroking himself through his underwear. 

The sight has your mouth going dry, arousal encouraging your actions when you begin to sway your hips before him. You don't know if it's the intoxication or just the raw desire to fuck him that fuels your next actions. The sight of him spread out before you and stroking his cock certainly contributes to your newfound bravado. 

You’re clumsily dancing and shimmying the dress off, your body rolling as the straps slide off your shoulders and droop down to reveal your bare breasts. When the fabric drops past your waist and to the floor, you clumsily kick the article aside and move toward the edge of the bed.

The lacy black underwear that previously taunted Yunho is now on full display as you begin to make your way onto the bed, both knees sinking into the mattress as you crawl toward him on all fours. He’s groaning as he watches your tantalizing prowl, squeezing himself hard through his delicates. 

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, your figure approaching closer until you hover before him, straddling his thighs. 

Your mouths reconnect when you settle over him, letting your clothed mound rest on his lap before you begin to drag yourself against his length. The friction between your loins draws another noise from him as he's eagerly returning your kiss, tongue and teeth clashing with hunger. 

His hands find purchase on your waist, sliding up your body and cupping your breasts as he begins to roll himself under you. As he carefully tweaks your nipples you whine into his mouth, each kiss growing more messy, your lips swollen as he devours you.

He doesn’t know if he can handle another second of being trapped beneath you as he rubs against you through the flimsy garments separating you. You feel so good and he's not even inside you yet. 

The kiss is broken when he sinks further into his pillows, arching forward impatiently in a struggle to remove his underwear. Not wanting to laugh at his attempts, you lift yourself from him and help slide the offending article down his legs. 

His erection springs free from its confines and your jaw goes slack when you finally take in the size of his cock. Seeing it under his boxers was one thing but this… The rumors definitely didn’t do him justice. Watching him twitch against his stomach with his precum pooling at the tip of his length makes you think you’ve never wanted to taste something as much as his dick. 

When you look up to Yunho, he has his ever present shit eating grin. He knows you’re impressed and he revels in the attention, enjoying how your expression morphs from shock to pure desire. 

Once you've recollected yourself he grasps the sides of your panties and tugs them impatiently. The position has you struggling to remove the lingerie but he opts to rip the fabric instead, tearing down the sides and tossing the remnants elsewhere as you’re left to gape at his hastiness.

“Those were my favori-” You struggle to verbalize your next words as a gasp escapes you when you suddenly feel his hand cupping your exposed sex. 

“I was going to ruin them one way or another,” he says with a roll of his eyes as his fingers delicately run along the arousal that has collected between your folds. He experimentally rubs his thumb against your clit, watching as your body trembles from his featherweight touch. 

“You’re already this wet for me? Naughty girl.” 

“Shut up,” you murmur as you slap his hand away and situate yourself back on his lap, letting him feel your wetness against the length of his erection. 

“Sorry, princess.” He throws his arms up in mock surrender but they're no sooner on your thighs as you both continue to hump against each other, the feeling of skin to skin unbearable as he bites back a moan.

“I told you to stop calling me that!” The tip of his cock brushes past your clit, easily sliding back and forth along your opening once you're rocking yourself faster atop him.

“You seem to like it,” he says with a knowing tone and he squeezes both your thighs, though he sounds just as breathless as he looks beneath you. His eyes are fluttering with each movement, chest rising as he tries to maintain his last ounce of self control. 

He's been patient, allowing you to grind yourself on him, but he wants nothing more than to grab your hips and impale you on his cock, stretching you out so good that you can't think. 

You're both gasping quietly against each other and it's only until you hear the door open that you're both scrambling for the sheets to cover yourselves.

“So, this is where you two went.” Seonghwa’s firm voice fills your ears, making your entire body freeze up as you come to a halt. 

You've never heard him more angry and you're nervous to face him but you find yourself slowly twisting your head over your shoulder as you're met with his enraged glare.

Yunho stiffens beneath you and opens his mouth to speak but the other man holds up his palm to signal his silence. Your boyfriend closes the door behind him, not uttering a word as he takes a seat on the recliner that's situated in the corner. 

The tension is thick but you can’t help the bewilderment showing on your expression as you watch him settle into the leather, spreading his legs wide while he dips his hand into his pants.

“Don’t stop on my account. Carry on.” There is a dangerous hint behind his tone and you can feel his anger radiating off him in waves but the thought of him watching as Yunho fucks you makes you even more turned on.

You’re unsure of what's going on anymore at this point, but even in your confusion you know you don't want to disobey Seonghwa. The guilt that you had been ignoring all night hits you tenfold, sitting present in your consciousness. Despite this, your arousal is obvious as your pussy grows messier, drooling on the cock beneath you. It's apparent to him as he twitches against your sex and he catches on quickly, though initially he seems just as shocked as you by Seonghwa’s admission. 

It doesn't take a second longer for Yunho to recognize the look behind Seonghwa’s eyes and he has a twisted smirk pulling at his lips in realization. Before you can protest, he suddenly takes ahold of your hips and lifts you with ease before he's sliding you down the entirety of his length. Your walls drag past his cock, swallowing him whole as he fills you to the hilt.

The noise of surprise that escapes you rings high when you feel him stretching you apart. He’s much bigger than Seonghwa and you don't think you've ever felt so full in your life. If you weren't already so wet, you knew the stretch would sting much more than it did. You're so clouded with pleasure that the pain is barely present. 

“You like watching your girl get fucked by someone else, Hwa?” He taunts your boyfriend, snide in his tone as he ruts himself up into you. You whine loudly. 

The man in question only responds with a grunt, his eyes trained on the view of your pussy swallowing his huge cock. Seonghwa squeezes himself harder and begins to pump into his hand, gritting his teeth. 

“You're both so fucking nasty. You love this, don’t you?” Even as Yunho sneers, he doesn’t stop rocking his hips. 

“Look how well she takes me, Hwa. You like seeing her little cunt stretched out by another man’s dick?” This time Seonghwa moans in response. His jeans have been kicked aside and he's left in his shirt, jerking himself in his palm as he watches you both through his hazy eyes.

With your head overlooking your shoulder, you still don't entirely know what's happening, but the sight of your boyfriend fucking his hand makes you overwhelmed with the need to press on. Knowing you're both getting off as he watches you get plowed has your stomach churning with some sick sense of pleasure.  

Suddenly you feel Yunho’s hand cupping your chin, forcing your eyes away from Seonghwa. As you both stare at each other, you’re readily bouncing yourself on his lap, sinking deeper onto his cock with your every movement. You’re greedy to have him inside you, enjoying how each thrust has him filling your pussy so well. 

There’s a sound of clattering from the other side of the room and you want to turn your head, but the hand gripping your chin is firm. Seeing his eyes flicker behind you makes your curiosity grow, but when you feel a hot breath against the back of your neck you now know that Seonghwa has joined you on the bed. 

His presence has the man beneath you waning his pace, his hips working in a slow and sensual grind. As he hovers behind you his nose runs along your nape where his lips latch down on your skin. His teeth drag against your shoulder and you're whining quietly when he bites down particularly hard.

“Did you miss me so bad that you had to cheat me on with my own teammate?” Seonghwa is speaking against your skin, but he doesn't stop nipping at you, sucking harshly until you begin to bruise beneath his lips. You don't know how to respond, your body trembling as he continues to press at you. 

“You think you can just fuck Yunho and get away with it?” Shaking your head, you let out a meek ‘no’ as his fingers tangle within your hair.

“Get up.” Seonghwa has never spoken to you with a tone like this before. It fills you with apprehension but your body is still thrumming with arousal and you're quick to follow his instructions, whimpering when you slide off of Yunho’s lap. 

Yunho wishes to pull you back onto him but he hesitates, deciding he wants to watch how the scene unfolds. Even then, his cock continues to throbs as he takes note of how an intensity is overtaking the normally sweet and kind Seonghwa. 

Your boyfriend leads you by your hair, ignoring you as you whimper out in a pained protest. You’re forced onto your hands and knees, your head hovering between the apex of his legs as he presses his hard cock against your mouth.

“You're going to let me use your mouth like the disgusting whore that you are, got it?” You feel yourself clenching at his words, nodding as your tongue darts out to taste the head to his dick. It's been so long since you've had him, you're desperate for his cock. He scoffs at your eagerness.

Seonghwa grasps his length, smearing his precum against your mouth as he uses his free hand to motion the other man forward. Yunho is no sooner scrambling toward you both, pupils blown wide with anticipation as he awaits further instruction. 

“Go ahead.” 

His words are all that Yunho needs to hear. Holding your hips once again he grabs you from behind and he begins to sheath his cock back within the slick warmth of your hole, relishing in how tightly your walls surround him. You both moan loudly. At the same time Seonghwa slides himself past your lips, the hand within your locks tightening their hold when he eases himself into your throat. 

Your eyes flit up to watch him as his lips are pulled back in a displeased scowl. You've never seen him so upset and it makes you remorseful knowing you're the cause of his distress but at the same time he’s never looked so sexy glaring down at you. 

He catches your stare but continues to frown even as his cock twitches in your mouth. His fingers fist at your tresses, guiding you further down his shaft until your nose is flush to his pelvic bone. 

You're breathing heavily through your nostrils as you continue to look at each other, your eyes watering with tears. He doesn't move, but instead allows Yunho to bury into you. The snap of his hips against your backside causes your body to jerk forward, forcing Seonghwa’s tip to hit the back of your throat. He’s groaning when you gag against him, the action clearly catching you in surprise. 

“Such a needy slut. Just one dick wasn't enough for you, huh?” You whine against him, drooling over his length as Yunho sets the tempo for how fast your head is bobbing along his cock. He’s pounding into you harder, enjoying the sight of you struggling to suck the other off while he's working open your tight pussy. 

“You should lighten up, Hwa,” he says between thrusts as he reaches out with one arm to grab the older man.

“Are you serious? What the hell does that mean?” Seonghwa’s fingers slacken as he peers over at the goalie, his dick pulsing in your mouth while he’s watching you get fucked.

You're thankful for the moment of reprise but your eyes go wide as you watch Yunho hover above you, grabbing Seonghwa by his hair and pulling him in for a kiss. 

You gurgle on Seonghwa’s cock at the sight, your pussy clenching down tightly as the two begin to make out before you. To say your boyfriend is shocked is an understatement, but he’s quick to indulge in the kiss, clearly as aroused as you are.

Yunho has some type of unexplainable charm to him. Whatever he's doing, it clearly affects Seonghwa just as much as it does you. 

Their mouths are locked together, wet kisses amidst their tongues intertwining as you feel Yunho begin to rock his hips again. The movement has all three of you moaning and encourages you to begin sucking harder on the cock inside your mouth. 

There is saliva coating your lips as you're bobbing your head down the length of Seonghwa’s erection, more drool dripping down your chin while you're sloppily getting your face fucked. 

When Yunho breaks the kiss there is a line of spit stretching between them as they're both panting heavily, trying to regain their breaths. The taller of the two ushers the hand away from your locks, taking a hold of your hair before he’s tugging your head back as he withdraws slowly, pulling himself completely out of you. 

Seonghwa’s dick pops out from your mouth when you’re yanked back and he’s left staring at your desperate form below him, your body wiggling with need at the loss of Yunho. 

“Take this as a lesson, Hwa. You’re in a win-win situation, no?” Even as Yunho says this, the other’s expression twists between a flurry of emotions. The confusion is written all over his face, but something seems to click in his brain as he watches Yunho slam into your squelching hole with a single powerful motion. 

Seonghwa feels humiliated as he watches his lover enjoy another man’s cock so readily yet his own arousal throbs with need when Yunho continues to coax him. He can’t help the hand that slips between his thighs, palming his aching length again as the goalie continues to ravage your body before him. 

When Yunho’s fingers tangle within your tresses he cannot deny how much he’s enjoying the way your back arches as he begins to pound himself into you relentlessly, his pace steady and calculated. Despite the sting of your scalp and how the position aches on your back, your cries are immediately filling the room, loud and pitchy. 

“You see, Seonghwa. This,” he grunts and thrusts heavily as he’s plowing into your cunt, enjoying how you clench around him so greedily, “— is how you should be fucking her.” 

Your boyfriend is fisting his cock harder, biting his lower lip as he stares down at you. You’re barely meeting his gaze, tears lining your eyes as you whimper and moan. Each movement of the man behind you has you lurching forward, your torso threatening to sink forward if not for the constraint on your hair. 

Looking to Seonghwa seems impossible as your eyes roll back into your head, so consumed with pleasure that you can hardly think properly. The guilt that previously haunted you is already dissipating with every sinful plunge of Yunho’s hips. 

“Does Seonghwa fuck you like this, princess?” He jerks at your hair again, a guttural noise spilling from him when he feels how you constrict around his girth. 

“Answer me, naughty girl. Does his cock feel as good as mine?” He stills his movements and his eyes are lighting with amusement as he watches you twist in place, writhing around for his cock. 

“No, damn it! Fuck me, p-please, Yunho!” You practically shout, overcome with need as you’re whining and clutching at the bedsheets, rutting back against his pelvis. He’s ecstatic to hear your begging and he resumes his pace, watching as you immediately fall into a state of euphoria and begin garbling a string of unintelligible noises. 

“Such a cock hungry girl. Don’t you enjoy seeing her like this?” 

“Y…Yeah,” The older of the two manages to sputter out his reply between his breathy groans, his eyes glazing over. He’s clutching the entirety of his dick, tip leaking at the display of your ruined and blissful state before him. 

“How about I give you a taste?” 

“Huh?” Seonghwa’s brain short circuits at the suggestion and he glimpses up to meet Yunho’s darkening stare. The look the taller man gives him has him swallowing thickly, his eyes flickering down to watch as he slides his cock out of your fluttering hole. 

“A taste,” the goalie repeats as he holds his length up, the dim lighting reflecting the trail of your juices that glisten along his shaft. Seonghwa hesitates at first but finds himself nodding. 

You want to complain when Yunho withdraws from you again, but you have no time to as he's hoisting you up right into a kneeling position. The fogginess of the pleasure begins to clear from your mind though you can still feel yourself clenching around nothing as the heat within you simmers to a pulse between your legs.

Like you, Seonghwa is eagerly anticipating Yunho's next actions, unsure of what to expect. He’s thrilled at the prospect of having his turn with the larger man, his body alight in flames. The anger has seemingly diminished from him, only a hot wave of lust coursing through his veins.

The effects of the alcohol is still present in his body, but he knows he's not delirious when he realizes just how delighted he seems at the idea of tasting Yunho’s big cock. He doesn't know if he can blame you anymore when he seems just as excited to submit to the other.

Yunho is maneuvering off the mattress, walking around to the front until he's facing you both. He motions for you to scoot back and you do so obediently, eyes wide as you await for what's to come. 

“Turn around, Seonghwa.” As swift as he can, he practically gets tangled in the bed sheets when he turns his back to the goalie. The action has him locking eyes with you, face burning up when he suddenly begins to feel shy about the notion of you witnessing his submissiveness. 

“Good boy. Now lay back for me.” Seonghwa shivers at the compliment, his cock twitching against his thigh as he falls back on the bed, his head hanging off the edge. It's in this position that he realizes what's about to happen, though he’s not sure if he's prepared. It didn’t make him any less excited though.

“Think you can take my cock?” Simultaneously the blood rushes to his head and his erection at the question. He nods eagerly and wets his lips, mouth dropping open. He’s never done something like this before yet he’s too thrilled to pass up the opportunity. 

Yunho steps forward and presses the tip of his cock against the man’s lips, humming appreciatively as his tongue darts out to circle around the tip. 

“Your boyfriend is so hungry for my dick. Doesn’t he look cute? So needy.” You squeeze your thighs together and moan, the sight of the two men shooting straight to your core in a rush of wetness. 

“So pretty, Hwa…” You join in the praises as Yunho tenderly strokes along your lover's jaw, thumb grazing his lower lip before he’s sliding the first few inches of his length into Seonghwa's mouth. 

The praise shoots straight to Seonghwa’s loins, his dick pulsing with arousal as he’s taking the cock further down his throat. He’s compliant and docile as Yunho eases deeper, his eyes trained on the sight of his dick bulging from the other’s throat. 

“So good,” Yunho groans quietly and clasps his palm around your lover’s neck, wanting to feel his own outline stretching his throat.  Your mouth waters at the sight, not wanting to be left out while you’re watching Yunho slowly fuck himself into your boyfriend’s mouth. The scene before you has you dripping with desire. 

“C-Can I?” A single nod from Yunho is all you need and you’re no sooner clambering toward Seonghwa. In his position the man doesn’t notice your movement as he’s so focused trying to hollow his cheeks around Yunho’s cock. 

When he feels the familiar weight of your body settling on top of him, he starts to gag when you suddenly sink down on his erection, clearly catching him off guard. Yunho’s length slips from his mouth in the process and he’s sputtering quietly, trying to regain his bearings. 

You’re straddling your boyfriend and dropping onto his lap, his cock getting swallowed by the warmth of your hungry walls. Seeing how he jerks up beneath you it spurs you to bounce harder on his dick, letting him stuff you full.

“Missed your cock, Hwa…” He moans at your words and flutters his eyes, his jaw slack as he feels Yunho sliding himself back into his mouth. Seonghwa is so overcome with pleasure, his body blazing with lust that he can barely process what’s happening to him. He’s never felt bliss like this before — having his lover fuck herself onto him as his mouth is being used. 

Seonghwa looks so fucked out as he’s splayed across the mattress, his hair messy and his body sheen with his sweat while you’re both stimulating him. Yunho welcomes the display wholeheartedly, grinding himself into the other’s face, groaning as saliva and drool coats his cock. 

“Such a good boy, aren’t you, Hwa? You like when I fuck your mouth? You miss her pussy around your cock?” A garbled noise comes from the man, his throat tightening as his hips buck up in response. You feel his cock pulsing within you with each sinful word that leaves Yunho’s mouth. You know he’s close but you’ve yet to scratch the surface of your orgasm as you begin to rock yourself faster on his lap.

Quickening your pace you slip your fingers between your thighs and begin to rub your clit as you’re bouncing yourself on Seonghwa’s cock, each movement dragging him back within your sopping core. The man beneath you is trying to meet your thrusts, his hands falling over your thighs and gripping tight as he begins chasing his climax. 

Seonghwa’s eyes are screwed shut, breathing heavily through his nose and he’s letting out choked and muffled noises of pleasure. The need to cum is urgent and the feeling of your walls squeezing around his length has him realizing just how much he misses your tight little pussy.

He no longer focuses on sucking Yunho’s cock, simply allowing the other to abuse his throat as he fucks himself into your cunt. The drool that dribbles down his face is evidence of Yunho’s own pace growing sloppy, his release not far behind. 

“Come for me, baby,” you gasp to him, your back arching as you feel the heat of your orgasm stirring in your belly. You’re leaning forward against his torso, your chest flush to his as you’re lifting your ass and slamming it back onto his lap repeatedly. The sound of your skin slapping resonates throughout the room, pace increasing with a hurried need as you’re moaning into his neck. 

Feeling a similar air of impatience, Yunho holds Seonghwa by his hair and pulls himself back before he’s thrusting forward powerfully. The single motion of Yunho’s cock hitting the back of his throat causes the male to gurgle in discomfort but the goalie doesn’t pull away and he groans deeply, his cock spasming in the other’s mouth until he’s spurting his thick and milky seeds down Seonghwa’s throat. 

At the same time, your lover feels how your hole clenches and gushes around his cock. The needy pace you’re rocking against him has his length throbbing within you. Your actions combined with the lack of air in his lungs and the impact of Yunho’s thrusts into his mouth has his vision going spotty. His thighs shake and he’s seeing white as he orgasms hard and abruptly, his load filling your cunt with rope after rope of his hot release.

As he’s climaxing, he’s struggling to swallow the cum in his mouth, most of it spilling out past his lips and dripping down his nose and down his cheeks. When Yunho finally pulls away, Seonghwa is coughing and sputtering as he tries to regain his breath. The high of his orgasm is still clouding his mind even as he’s left a panting mess. 

On top of him, you’re still desperately trying to chase your own crescendo as you work yourself feverishly on his lap. Your fingers are slick and slippery with your arousal, gliding over your clit over and over as your cunt begins to convulse around Seonghwa’s cock.

You’re both still moaning and you’re riding out his orgasm, your own looming closely. Yunho is stroking Seonghwa’s cheek, moving away the strands of hair that stick to his sweat laden face. He has already recovered from his own climax and leans down to purr encouragingly into Seonghwa’s ear. 

“Such a good boy. Make our princess cum, hm?” 

Seonghwa keens at the other’s words and snaps his hips upward, driving himself into you with the last semblance of his strength. Your eyes are blearily focusing below you, taking in the view of your sweaty and fucked out boyfriend who’s so determined to make you come. 

Similarly the sight of Yunho hovering before your lover with his cum painted on Seonghwa’s face has you shaking with arousal, your thighs quivering when you feel yourself coming undone on your boyfriend’s cock. With a final slide of your digits past your swollen nub, you peak into your orgasm, his slowed thrusts combined with your sloppy movements sending you over the edge. 

Your hole squeezes around his cock and your juices mix in with his release as you finally climax. He can barely take the overstimulation as you clench around him a final time, your bodies coming to a still. Even after you’re past your high, he can still feel the after effects that are evident from your fluttering walls.

Once you’re finished, you tiredly slump against his torso, your skin sticking together from the perspiration that covers both your bodies. You’re too worn out to move, simply resting against your lover’s chest as you both breathe quietly. The fatigue overtakes you before you know it and your eyes are falling shut before you can stop yourself.

You don’t know how much time passes before you awake but someone has helped you clean up and you now lay cozily beneath Yunho’s blankets. Between a series of blinking and yawning, you groggily note that Seonghwa lays beside you peacefully, his eyes widening with joy as he’s watching you come to. 

“Hey, sleepy girl.” 

There’s a pregnant pause and you try to recollect your thoughts, trying to recall all that has happened up to this moment. Dread and realization falls over you immediately and you’re shooting up, blanket slipping off you. With your back straight, you hastily try to get up from the bed as a feeling of panic floods you.

You fucked up, you fucked up. You royally fucked up! 

“Woah, woah. Slow down, babe.” Your boyfriend coos softly and tries to work you down, pushing you back against the mattress and rubbing your shoulders in slow and soothing motions. 

“How are you being so calm? I literally just cheated on you!” 

Seonghwa scratches the back of his head nervously and looks away for a moment before he grasps both of your hands, squeezing them in his palms.

“Listen, uh… I gave it some thought and I think Yunho is right.” Your jaw drops.

“Huh?”

As if on cue Yunho steps into the bedroom, one towel around his waist while he’s drying his hair with another. He blinks in surprise at you both but smiles nonetheless, taking a seat at the edge of the bed.

“Oh good! You’re awake, princess.” 

“What the hell is going on?” You look between the pair in confusion.

“Long story short, I know I’ve been a bad boyfriend but I think Yunho can help us work through some of that. I mean… if you’re down, of course.”

“I-I… I mean. What? Are you sure? Yeah, I-I think I am down.” They chuckle at your rambling.

Despite all that has happened, you never expected this type of proposal from Seonghwa. You honestly thought you would wake up to the shit show of him dumping you after you all sobered up. 

Yunho somehow worked his magic on the both of you and to your benefit as well. Even with your circumstances, you can’t deny the idea of it all excites you. You just knew that Mingi would have a field day after he found out.

“I’m still mad at you though. You could have just talked to me,” he tuts at you, shaking his head slightly. 

“I tried, Hwa! You were always too busy!”

“You’re right and I’m sorry. That was definitely my bad but it’s alright, babe. I’ll make sure we make it up to each other. Plus we have Yunho now.” A tremble of excitement runs down your spine at the mention of your new partner. 

Seonghwa has an adoring look in his eyes, though there is a dangerous intent behind his smile as he reaches up to gently stroke your cheek.

“I know you won’t betray me again though. We’ll make sure of it.”

His words have you nervous and aroused, rubbing your thighs together as you feel a heat pooling in your lower belly.

Beside you Yunho sports his own wolfish grin when he meets your stare, placing his hand over your thigh and rubbing circles close to your sex.  “Hwa is kind of scary when he’s mad, huh? Don’t worry though, princess. When he’s begging for my cock, you can help me make sure he’s the one being a good boy.”

[kingflups]

🍅 🍦 🔪 🍄 for writers truth or dare pretty please!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

For Leon and Luis (Resident Evil)! Who else is it going to be, I haven't had much else inspiration beside those two lately lol

Luis never got his drivers license. Or rather, not techniquely. Growing up where he did, in rural don't-believe-in-modern-technology Valdelobos, who was going to teach him? Once he got to college, he could either walk or take the bus. Sure, he had friends teach him how to drive, and Sure, him and some other children were taught how to drive farm trucks at maybe too young an age (because prior to the cult taking over, they had to get supplies sometimes) but Luis never learned legally.

When he was on the run, he was very careful to never break any road laws.

In AU's where Luis lives, he moves to the states and when they set up an ID for him, they ask if Luis knows how to drive. He says yes. It's not his fault no one asked any details. So he drives around even though he never actually took a drivers class or passed any test.

And he would never, ever, ever tell Leon. Leon wanted to be a cop. I don't think there are a lot of things Leon would loose his cool over, but this is one of them. Driver's classes are literally there to protect other people from crashing in a metally, horrible death. And Leon, who's primary character trait is literally wanting to protect people, would loose his mind. It doesn't matter Luis is the just the most careful driver that's ever been. Its the principle.

Along the same lines as Leon wanting to be a cop, people head canoning Leon as a stoner makes me laugh. I think it's because they look at older versions of him and assume personality wise he smokes (which is still fun, btw).

But look at this baby. Resident evil 2 Leon has never broken a law in his life. This guy still thinks weed is a hard drug. He would leave a party if people were drinking underage. I don't care if he was only a cop for one day before that illusion got shattered, he doesn't touch a joint until he's at least 25. (You can convince me RE4 Leon smokes though)

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Back when I was actively writing my gravity falls fic monster falls, I had a wonderful idea to have a chapter set in town. I thought it would be cool if I had readers send me their OC's to fill up the background. I will. NEVER. do that again. It was fun, but that fic was so popular I got so many submissions and so many monsters I had to research to describe properly, because god FORBID I not research every monster people sent into me. Werewolves and shark mermaids were easy. But some of you..... some of you beasts (said with love) sent me the most obscure fucking folklore. To this day I know one of them had to be from an anime I still don't know

People who just sent me there fursonas and called them were-whatever animal still make me smile

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

God damn you. Fuck. Okay. I don't usually hate characters (dislike? yes, but they usually fit well in their world so I don't hate them) so I had to dig into the recessive of my brain for this one.

This is Sentinel Prime from transformers Animated. I haven't watched this show in probably... ten years? But I fucking hate him. Seethingly so. I got angry writing this. I hate him.

Great antagonist. Show sets him up as an annoying glory hound and makes the audience believe he will likely be due down the line for a redemption. Instead, his power hunger drives leads him into becoming a literal dictator being puppeted by the actual primary villian of the show. Don't be fooled- Sentinel is just as much a powerful antagonist in his own right. In my opinion, part of the reason Transformers Animated is remembered so fondly is because characters like Sentinel starting as irritating but almost allies. The irritating tendency to lie and cheat is treated as a character flaw and nothing more, and it ends being the very thing that throws their planet back into all out war.

Consistent. In a flash back, Sentinel ditches series protagonist Optimus and charcter Elita in the mines when they get attacked. Upon finding out Elita survived, albeit disfigured, instead of being relieved, Sentinel calls her gross to her face, even though his actions (or disactions, really) are what left her that way. For a second I thought this was going to be his moment of self reflection, but it absolutely was not. He's so buried into believing his own false retelling of the past he doesn't comprehend any of this as his own fault (at least, not out loud). And honestly, it's a great move. The writers really commit to the fact the Sentinel makes up his own truth, and once he does, he does not relent.

A very fitting critique for military nepotism babies? This was something that I didn't fully grasp as a kid, but as an adult looking back, the animated team really did a great job on Sentinel. He rose through the ranks through nepotism, making others take the fall for his mistakes, and funding war criminals to move him ahead; and it worked. The series was sadly cut short before their final season due to licensing issues, I would have loved to see the end of Sentinel's arc.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

To start using an outline and then actually use the outline. But I should be realistic here. I think I would benefit from shorter piece lengths. I feel like I focus so much on the actions I want characters to take that I miss out on the opportunities to really describe feelings, environments.... sometimes, things just feel flat. My personal goal this year is to focus more on descriptive language and not just direction. Maybe now that I wrote that down I'll hold myself to it...?

[pandythoughts]

my relationship with addiction is a rollercoaster that I can't wait to get off of

the worst part about self-destruction is how intimate that relationship with yourself becomes. you become so bonded with your addiction and illness that leaving it behind feels so unfamiliar. you feel lost without that part of you. without that connection to yourself. although, that connection isn't true love. its manipulative, evil, and sucks the life out of you. it's one of the most narcissistic relationships you'll ever experience and what really sucks about it, is that it's with yourself. growing and healing from that relationship with yourself will be one of the most unbearable yet gratifying feelings you will endure on this journey of finding the true love and respect you have for yourself. some days you'll sit pondering the idea of "just one drink won't hurt me." which wouldn't hurt, but you're the kind of person who's an addict, so unfortunately, it will hurt. it will end up hurting you more than you can even anticipate in that moment because that part of you, that you think loves you so deeply, is manipulating you into ruining you, because that part of you feels like you deserve nothing better. that part of you wants to force you to believe that you are so unworthy of truly loving yourself for who you really are. that part of you wants you to think that without substance, you're not funny, you're not clever, beautiful, cool, intelligent, and that part of you will hold such a tight grip on you that you'll actually start to believe it. then there you are. a half gallon of vodka, 2 grams of cocaine, and three days later, feeling like the scum of the earth because eventually you have to snap back to reality. that part of you that you thinks loves you so much, will leave for a while. leave you to deal with the shame, guilt, and pain. all alone. then finally when you've sat there with all the horrible feelings and thoughts you've been dealing with, that really make you want to leave behind the life you think is so fun and cool, that part of you that you think loves you so much, comes back and convinces you that this is as good as it will ever get. the vicious cycle continues, and you keep getting further away from what you deserve. when I tell you that addiction is the most toxic relationship to ever exist, I'm not fucking kidding. I really envy the people who never have gone through this. its excruciating, exhausting, just all-around fucking depressing and takes so much fucking strength to let go of that version of their self. so much god damn will power.

you're ruining your actual meaningful relationships in life. you find yourself fighting with your boyfriend because respectfully he doesn't want a girlfriend who's an addict. so, you tell him you'll stop because you don't want to lose him. you love him and can't imagine being without him, but that super narcissistic relationship with yourself is by far more intimate, well, at least that's what it has convinced you. now you find yourself hiding the truth from him. you're partying several times a week and getting so much more intimate with the shittiest version of yourself. on the verge of losing the relationship with the person who truly loves, respects, and wants the best for you. how fucking tragic right? that's how truly brutal addiction is. after telling my boyfriend I'd stop over and over again, he told me that he felt like i was cheating on him with drugs and alcohol. i absolutely was. the idea of getting fucked up always sounded way cooler than staying in on a Friday night watching movies with him. don't get me wrong, I love him, but just not as much as i love the self-sabotaging side of myself. this side of me is chaotic, impulsive, careless, and free. this side comes and goes though. this part of myself ups and leaves when the party's over. one person who never leaves no matter what, is him. even when I'm giving all my attention to the side of me that doesn't even serve me. so why do I choose this fucked up relationship that i have with the shittiest version of myself? because that's how twisted addiction is. I've been an addict for 14 years. I've been in this horrific relationship with addiction for 14 fucking years and all its done is gotten shittier.

I'm exhausted. it's a roller coaster ride. the emotions i experience as an addict have ripped me to shreds. chewed me up and spit me out. grabbed me by my hair and threw me against a wall. the most abusive and evil relationship I'll ever know. I'm so ready to let go and never look back. finding the strength will be the hardest part. I'm so wrapped around the fingers of the addict side of me, but you eventually have to be so fed up with your own bullshit and you have to let it go. I've been clean for nearly a week now. with the new year approaching I'm not exactly confident I can hold on to my sobriety, but I'm confident that this new year I'll be able to break it off. I'll build a new relationship with the version of myself that has so much unconditional love and respect for me. so much self-work is in the future and I believe in my potential.

[bubsub69]

Entry 2

14/05/2023 22:47

Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.

Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)

I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).

idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.

But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.

But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.

Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario

I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely

Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:

[depresseddepot]

Okay im adding the rest of my glory liveblogging under the cut so i don't have to keep making more posts lol

God everyone in this show is so fucked up. Yeon jin kissing jae jun SECONDS after he strangled her and also jae jun showing up to father day (or whatever its called, idk i never had those) with do yeong RIGHT THERE AUGSHSJJAJA don't listen to them do yeong i would treat you and your money right

do yeong clearly getting pissed abt the way jae jun talks about dong eun IS SO HOT AND STUPID honey you are an old married man with a 1st grader, is now really the time to be getting jealous about your one sided emotional affair. but also its hot. (whats that phrase? hate to see you go but love to watch you walk away? idk i think this is improper usage) this is now the second "hot old sad married business man that was cheated on but also had his own emotional affair BEFORE he realized he was being cheated on" on my list of rotating men

god GOD WAIT the way all of her bullies are swearing "ill do anything you say. i swear ill follow you until you die" THE METAPHORS. THE METAPHORS OUGHGGHHG

DO YEONG PLAYING VERY LOUD CLASSICAL MUSIC IN HIS CAR SO THAT HIS DAUGHTER DOESN'T HERE HIM CONFRONT JAE JUN. HQGSJSJSJJSS ALL OF THE MEN IN THIS SHOW ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF FUCKED UP

soft spoken carefully dressed married businessmen aggressively confronting the people bothering their emotional affair-ees (GOD MY TYPE IS SO WEIRD AND UNOBTAINABLE AHGSHZJAKNAS)

nothing and i mean NOTHING will outweigh the fucking ECSTASY i felt watching park dong hoon beat threaten and beat the shit out of that loan shark in my mister. ive got goosebumps just THINKING ABT IT AAAAAAA

sorry my edible just kicked in

do yeong please. i am begging you. just one chance just ONE

man this show is fucked up. the way jae jun doesn't seem like a terrible awful person at first bc you don't see him physical abuse dong eun but then you watch his character reveal more and more how fucked up he really is and it just shows how men like that never really grow out of it unless they're fucking called out on it

Oh dong eun. honey i am holding you (a woman capable of murder) so gently in my hands. they're all fucked up but jae jun and yeon jin in particular and the way they look at you (the camera) hits a little too close to home

God it is so hard to type under the influence i get so stupidly dizzy

i wonder if do yeong is going to be angrier with dong eun for using him or his wife for lying and cheating? Bc every time I think he's clearly over dong eun he says something that makes me think he intends to defend her or something

noooooo old man stay loyal to your emotional affair 🤡

I CAN BARELY TYPE THIS IK SO EXCITED. YEO JEONG AND DO YEONG IN THE SAME ROOM. EVIL DOCTOR MEETS SAD LONELY BUSINESSMAN

"you need to get up close and personal so you feel it as you go in" i have been so horribly obsessed with love for so long that my taste in men has soured. what is it about these crazy dangerous MANIACS THAT HAS ME SO PUFFED UP. KÖNIG AND GHOST AND NOW YEO JEONG. god the barely contained unhinged violence in his eyes. also is his meeting w do yeong genuinely like an accident??

oh my god. oh my god. YEO JEONG HAS SEEN DONG EUNS ROOM WITH ALL THE PICTYRESWTAPED TO THE WALL AND HE WAS LIKE "yeah okay. secretly i like this and also sure lets have casual domestic hang outs while we talk about damning the people from your past"

THE MEETING WAS ORCHESTRATED. HE'S PLAYING HIS PART AS A PAWN SO EAGERLY "i was annoyed he was cooler than me" sorry. id like to be sandwiched inbetween you two and also dong eun

do yeong is so easily convinced when a pretty slightly dangerous woman looks threateningly in his eyes without wavering AT ALL

yeo jeong, uncomfortable at the sudden mention of illegal violet child abuse: so. uh. how frequently do you wash your sheets

HAGAJJSJABABA ALSO YEO JEONG after being prompted abt his murdery daydreams from a girl planning on being a murderer (i assume): um. can i persuade you to ask me something else?

Also dong eun the whole show is like " 👁👁 "

IM SORRY. THE MAN WHO MURDERED YEO JEONGS DAD WROTE HIM LETTERS DESCRIBING THE MURDER FOR LITERALLY THAT WHOLE TIME

"so your poor son went to hell after all, huh?"

WAIT DONG EUN IS TRIGGERED BY THE SOUND OF SIZZLING AND THAT SOUND RELAXES YEO JEONG. THE METAPHORSSSS

dong eun living literally across the street from yeon jin will also never not be funny

YEON JIN FINDING DONG EUNS ROOM WHILE THE HEAVY METAL PLAYS. YESSSSSS

OH LORD THE HEAVY METAL WHILE YEO JEONG WALKS THREATINGLY INTO A MORGUE. GOD HELP ME. THE GLOVES. also something about a doctor being in the hospital they work at in casual clothes. hot

yeo jeong i would die for you. and i think you would end up being the cause

DO YEONG IN DONG EUNS BEDROOM?????? Oh the parallels

IS THAT THE ENDING

THATS IT????????????????????????????? NO BABY I NEED MORE RIGHT NOW

part 2 coming march 2023. O have to stay alive until march 2023

NOOOOOO IT CAN'T BE OVER I WAS JUST GETTING SO FUCKING EXCITED

noooooo NOOOOO ugh. god damn it how am i supposed to know if do yeong is there to confront his wife or if he's there to protect her!!!!!! NOOO I NEED TO KNOW HOW MURDERY YEO JEONG IS

Edit literally 2 hours later: bro I CANNOT stop thinking about yeo jeong. I have a huge fucking problem. whats that post thats category 5 autism event or something bc i am going through it

I NEED MORE. I NEED MORE RIGHT NOW

something about yeo jeong drives me fucking crazy bro i cant stop thinking about the scene with him gently skimming his fingertips over his scalpels as they slowly get bigger and turn into knives of more and more lethality

The way he described stabbing someone to do yeong. good god these insane men are making ME INSANE TOO

god. christ. i can't handle it. hes so sweet looking but the way the actor immediately shifts into the dead eyed dangerous side of him was so masterfully done

oughghhhh i have to rewatch it RIGHT NOW OR ILL DIE I THINK

[fairykery]

Oh God I forgot how horrible of a ship de-lena was.

-only loving her simply because she is an exact copy of the woman he was looking for for over a hundred years. And only coming back to her because the original wasn't as easy to manipulate.

-only communicating with her through sex and constantly insulting her and her person.(never once liked anything about her true heart and instead always only complimented her looks)

-constantly sexually molesting her when she not a fucking mindless mannequin(not to mention the amount of times he doesn't treat her as a person but a doll he must protect at all cost)

-knowing shes in a relationship with his brother constantly trying to get her to leave him.

-Killing her brother to punish her for for rejecting him, despite how fucking broken she already was for losing people

-Constantly threatening to kill/abuse her friends(and brother)even tho he was already one of the "gOod oNeS"

-killing behind her back and never once mentioning it. (He did this shit WITH his humanity ON, and it wasn't fried/off like Stefan's/other characters so he doesn't get a pass)

-initially not wanting to severe the sire bond because she sees him up this way(intending on making her a mindless sex slave)

-not wanting to rescue the brother that sacrificed so much for him, just cuz he was worried Elena might still love him and they might be each other soulmates.

-not being able to tell when another is pretending to be her(once again proving how he only cares about the physical appearance)

-elena becoming a psychotic lunatic when it came to losing Damon, not caring if she lost her friends

-elena cheating

-elena telling Caroline to stfu about her dating her rapist/abuser (don't even get me started on the fact that the show made her forgive him instead of coming up with some "he had his humanity off" plotline or something)

-elena becoming, a dumber more annoying, and narcissistic version of herself

-damon constantly trying to change Elena into Him and Elena constantly trying to change Damon into her.

-Their off and on relationship

-Elena constantly defending the toxic traits of Damon no matter who gets hurt.

-damon telling Elena that he doesn't like when she defends him because he loses track of what's right or wrong

-them being together despite continuously admitting how wrong they are for each other

-him not wanting to give her the cure for his selfish desires

-ITS ALWAYS ABOUT SEX

-ALL THEIR ROMANTIC SCENES ARE CRINGEY AF. BECAUSE THEY ARE FORCED. IT SO OBVIOUS THEY ARE TRYING TO BE STELENA SO HARD. IT NOT CUTE. ITS JUST VOMIT INDUCING.