gugapuppy

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 5 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

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Well, is cruel to give him false hope?

CW: Implied infertility

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Staring at the setting sun, with the orange light shining in his eyes and the muggy wind passing through the fabric of his clothes, Ghost was quiet.

Since the tests had been carried out, he still hadn't received a reply, that was six days ago. 

And that was probably what terrified him the most, if it's taking so long, what does it mean? But Farah's soldiers get hurt, they're a priority and not a bunch of sperm that may or may not be fertile, and define the relationship between the alpha and his omega!

Ghost didn't notice when he started fiddling with a loose thread of his clothing, but he did notice when light footsteps approached from behind, and with a glance over his shoulder he could see Farah approaching.

"Lieutenant! Your tests are ready, they asked me to warn you." Farah approached with a serious tone, patting Ghost on the shoulder before turning and starting towards the medical wing, with Ghost following in silence.

The walk was quick, and when they arrived, Farah knocked on the door and entered, Ghost right behind her.

A doctor soon came in with a sealed letter with the test results, handing it to Ghost. Farah and he sat down on one of the chairs in a secluded corner of the ward.

Ghost's hands clenched the paper in his hand, doubts, murmurs, all the insecurities flooding into his mind.

And if he's infertile, who did Johnny cheat on him with? He'll be alone again. But what if he isn't? Did he hurt Johnny for nothing? Did he run away and ignore him for nothing? Were the tears he cried in his cold bed alone for nothing?

A firm hand on his shoulder woke Simon from his thoughts, he hadn't realised his breathing was ragged, nor the almost crumpled paper in his hands.

With a deep breath, Simon slowly opened the paper, and with each line read and percentage seen, his heart pounded, until everything stopped for a moment, blood running cold and sweat threatening to fall.

Written in bold letters was, ‘This individual has normal fertility, no abnormalities present’.

Slowly Simon's vision blurred, tear drops falling onto the paper. Farah stood next to him, hugging him and shaking him from side to side calmly.

All the bad things he's done to Johnny, to his baby, he's become his own father, a horrible person. How can he apologise? How can he receive forgiveness? Simon wants to curl up in himself and just wake up to the day that everything has fallen apart.

Out of the blue, the realisation that he's going to be a father hits him hard, bringing more tears, but now of happiness at the knowledge that he'll have a baby to watch grow up.

"I'm going to be a father." He whispered.

Farah gently released him, looking him in the eye. "You will, congratulations Lieutenant."

"What do I do now?" Ghost asked, frustrated and worried.

"First," Farah grabbed Ghost's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You apologise to him, I know it can be difficult, so try writing a letter, sometimes the truest words are the most comforting and helpful."

Ghost then gets up and walks towards his room, saying a final goodbye to Farah.

He needs to be as sincere as possible, and he hopes that maybe Johnny can forgive him, and that they can have this pup.

Simon hopes that he can have a family that loves him and that he can love. Not like his was.

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Naturally, when I was researching fertility test results, I kind of understood that you get a percentage of how your sperm is doing, so I don't know if it says you're infertile or not.

Remember that I'm not a doctor, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

Thank you to the readers, and I'll see you in the next chapter of Soap!

[gugapuppy]

He's protecting his husband!

[gugapuppy]

He is the scary one

[gugapuppy]

<3

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 4 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

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In today chapter we have, Angst and a little bit of Hurt no confort.

CW: Implied abortion

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The thud of Soap's feet against the marble floor echoed through the corridors of the clinic, one of his hands tightly squeezing his thigh and the other squeezing Gaz's hand. The two of them had been waiting for about fifteen minutes, and Soap was afraid that if he waited any longer, breakfast would spill out of his mouth.

Finally, after two minutes, a nurse called out to them, she was similar to Gaz, only with longer hair and a little shorter, she had a sweet smile, and as Soap imagined, Gaz introduced her as his sister, he spoke her name but Soap couldn't pay attention as he was immersed in his nervous thoughts.

However, a sweet scent of grape and dahlia gradually calmed him down, and soon Soap realised that it was Gaz's sister. An omega just like him. She gave him a smile and then went on her way, leading him into the consulting room while Gaz waited outside.

After sitting down in one of the room's cool leather chairs, he looked directly at Gaz's sister, who sat opposite him behind a desk full of papers, pens and a laptop. After opening something on the laptop, she turned to Soap and then asked. "Very well, Mr Mactavish, could you tell me your reasons for seeking my assistance?"

With a deep breath, Soap clasps his hands together and begins to explain. "In my last heat, I shared with my... partner, and I don't remember us using a condom. After a couple of weeks I started to feel sick, but when I noticed some of my symptoms I decided to take my doubts into my own hands, I took three pregnancy tests and they were all positive."

"Hm, I see, and your partner, how did he react to the news?" She made a face as if she already knew the outcome of the question.

Soap swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at the doctor. "He... didn't react well after I told him, he pushed me aside and has been ignoring me and running away from me, and I," he chokes and sobs, remembering the little growls every time he got close to Ghost. "I can't take it anymore."

The doctor looks at him expectantly and sadly. "He said this child wasn't his, and to go back to the guy I slept with behind his back, but I never cheated on him! I love him, and I'm not a cheater! But he wouldn't listen to me!" He sobs harder, fingers trembling and tingling.

She writes something down on her laptop for a moment, letting Soap compose himself before continuing. "I understand how you must be feeling, and I'm sorry about that, I imagine you'd never cheat on him, my little brother says how devoted you are. Really admirable. But why did you decide to come and try to carry out this operation?"

Soap puts his hand over his eyes, squeezing them with his palm, then lowers them to his mouth. "I don't want... this child to grow up in a home where there's only me, my mum went through that with me and I know how hard it was for her to raise a child on her own."

He remembers the nights his mum came home tired and collapsed on the sofa, how as a teenager Soap did everything for her at home to take a burden off her back, hearing her cry and beg relatives to lend her money when the bills got high.

The way she held him back when Soap presented himself as Omega, worrying that he would go through the same thing as her. And damn, she was right about that.

"And besides, I don't want to retire from the army just yet, I don't have any other qualifications to work outside the army, nor one... someone to help with everything." Soap leans back in his chair, sniffling and crossing his arms, trying to hold himself together even though he's slowly falling apart.

"Right, your motives are understandable, thank you for your candour." She searches through the papers on the table until she finds one in particular. "Now, I'm going to need you to listen carefully" She read a few lines before continuing. "There are some post-operative risks that could affect you in the future."

This made Soap's heart squeeze and his hand grip tighter against his shoulder. "Like what, Doc?" Soap asked, breathing shakily.

"Omegas that have an abortion tend to have their fertility lowered by 55%, meaning that you'd have problems getting pregnant in the future, your heats would be unbalanced and you wouldn't have a proper cycle, and since you're not mated to anyone, your glands would be affected, causing your scent to fail."

This could affect Soap greatly if he decides to have a baby in the future, but not removing this... 'thing' will make him connect with Simon forever. Is it worth going through that pain?

After two minutes of silence, Soap finds his voice again. "What are the methods for the operation?"

The doctor doesn't comment at all on the subject of the risks that Soap has ignored or on the smell of stress in the room. "There are two methods, one medical and one surgical. The medical one, we provide pills so that the abortion happens naturally in a few hours, and we also have the surgical one, in which you would be sedated while we surgically remove the foetus."

"By any chance... in the surgical method I would be unconscious while you...?"

The doctor nods. "Usually that's what we do, often the process can be traumatic with the pill." She turns to her laptop and types something in. "We can do an ultrasound to see how many weeks pregnant you are, in case that relieves anything."

Unconsciously Soap nods, he wants to get a glimpse of what his family might have been like.

After they left the room, Soap spotted Gaz waiting outside and asked him to accompany him while he did the ultrasound.

After the machine was set up and the gel applied, the doctor began to search, and in a few minutes Soap finally saw his little pup on the screen, as small as an apple, his hand squeezing Gaz's tightly, making the man tremble, but hold on tightly, showing that he was there for Soap.

Seven weeks. Seven weeks is how long Soap had been connected to this little thing, four of which he had practically been left to fend for himself by the person he loved more than life itself.

In Soap's mind, he begged and pleaded for forgiveness for his little boy who would never see the light of the sun or the blue of the sky, forgiveness for the love Soap couldn't give him, for his shitty father who abandoned him. 

Soap didn't realise when Gaz started hugging him as he shook hard and tears flowed out, choking on sobs and snot, staining his best friend's shoulder.

At the end of the day, Soap left with a signed form and an appointment for the operation.

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I've had to do a lot of research on the subject in order to maintain coherence, I'm not a doctor, so if I've made a mistake feel free to correct me.

One more thing, in situations like these, the doctor who is treating you will recommend a professional psychologist to help you before any decision is made, if the patient wishes. You can also withdraw from the operation if you want to, even if you've signed the papers.

Stay safe, and wait for the next part, which will be about Ghost.

[gugapuppy]

He who believes he’s higher, will fall farther.

Philip graves everybody!! From @reds-skull revenent AU (close ups and my ravings under the cut)

You have no idea how much I like this au, it’s probably one of the main reasons I got interested in COD.

I cheered I bit when they finally took down Graves in the fic, but the guy deserved it and Definitely had is coming. (if not by ghost and soap then definitely from Alejandro and Los Vaqueros)

Also the perspective on this kicked my ass also I’ve never drawn tack gear/vests before, but overall I like how it turned out! I feel like I could’ve done something a little different with the lighting but I wasn’t sure what and I had been goofing around with it for about 2 hours at that point.

In early sketches I was fooling around with the idea of also adding the Reaper of Many cuz I just love the idea of the Reapers, but ultimately I cut that idea cuz I couldn’t figure where I would put them and also had no idea on how I wanted to draw how I picture them (think of the one reborn from bloodborne but less rotting and gross, and more spider like and agile)

Anyways that’s enough of my rambling, go read the Revenent AU cuz it’s very good and I’m very excited to see where Bringer of Demise will go!!

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 3 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

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A little confort today, but the next part one will hurt a little. Be advised.

CW: Implied abortion

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Soap was sitting in a coffee shop sipping an espresso, far from the base and the memories there. Looking out of the window, Soap could see various people passing by and going about their lives, street animals wanting food and affection, and happy children holding hands with their parents. It made Soap's breath shake.

He'd texted Gaz to meet him at the café, he trusted the beta to help him, knowing that Kyle wouldn't abandon him, or at least he hoped he wouldn't abandon him.

After a while of waiting and his espresso running out, Gaz finally arrived to greet him, the two exchanged a few words and random topics such as games he was playing, upcoming missions, series coming out, until finally a small silence hung over them both.

"So, what's been bothering you Tav? Ghost and you..." -Kyle began.

Looking out of the window, observing the scenery, Soap decided to be direct instead of winding things up. "I'm pregnant, Kyle."

Soap notices Gaz opening and closing his mouth out of the corner of his eye. "Oh...congra-"

"I want to abort."

This time, the silence is longer, and Soap comes round after a while to face Kyle, who is wide-eyed and has his hand over his mouth. 

"Oh..." -Gaz says, taking his hand away from his mouth and closing it on the table. "Does Ghost know about this?"

Soap swallows dryly, his eyes starting to water with each blink, but he keeps a straight face. "He knows."

Gaz looks between his hands quickly before getting up from the side of the table he was on and sitting down next to Soap, putting his arms around him as he shakes him slowly from side to side. "That's why you were acting strange..."

Soap nods and leans into Gaz's warm touch, purring his first way through weeks of tears and stress. "I don't want to do this alone, help me, please?"

"I'm not leaving you alone John, does anyone else know about this?"

"No, they can't know." -Soap tightens his grip on Gaz, holding on tight. "Price and Laswell will try to stop me or tell me to wait for Simon to come back... I can't wait for Kyle."

"Okay... let's go to my place, from there I'll call Price to give me and you a week off."

Soap looks at Gaz, a sad smile on his face. "Thanks bro."

The two then leave the café and take a taxi to Kyle's flat. As they go, night falls over them and the city, only streetlamps and buildings with LED signs illuminate the surroundings.

And as Kyle said, Kyle did. Calling Price, he asked for a week off and the captain quickly gave them both three weeks off, probably realising that Soap needed it after the weeks he noticed the sergeant had experienced.

Afterwards, they both ordered pizza for dinner, a purr echoing from Johnny at receiving one of his favourite foods. Gaz always knew how to please him. 

Over dinner, Gaz told him that his sister was a doctor and there had been cases where she'd had to help with abortion operations, so he offered to call her, something that Soap accepted with certainty.

Some time after dinner had finished and Gaz had called his sister, Gaz sat down on the sofa and told Soap that Kyle's sister had made an appointment at the clinic for the following day. 

On hearing this, Soap felt anxious and began to tremble. Gaz hugged him as he stroked the omega's back.

Soap lay on top of Gaz until his panic subsided and the few tears that fell dried up. "Can we watch something?"

"Of course, anything specific?" -Gaz asked as he searched for Netflix.

"The second season of a series I like just came out..." -Soap said as he found a comfortable position for his head on Gaz's chest.

As soon as Gaz put the series on, it wasn't long before they were both asleep before the second episode had even started. 

And for the first time in weeks, Soap felt that someone cared about him.

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Now, the angst begins, and idk how much will hurt...

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 2 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

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I made a second part, receive this! Part 3 will be about soap.

CW: Implied infertility

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A little further down from the UK, in Urzakistan, Ghost sat on a dusty sofa, with only the sounds of crickets and Farah's soldiers chatting in the background. Ever since Soap had told him he was pregnant, Ghost had withdrawn, needing time to concentrate and clear his mind.

Ghost was infertile, he knew he was infertile ever since the torture he suffered in Mexico at the hands of Roba. Every time Ghost disobeyed, the bastard would kick him in the legs or dope him up with drugs, or sometimes make Ghost drinks gallons of alcohol until he vomited. It was all a perfect combination that led to Ghost's infertility.

He missed the Scotsman terribly, only God could know how devastated he was, imagining that Soap was cheating on him behind his back, not just cheating but getting pregnant by some mutt out there.

Ghost had already prepared everything for their next break, he was going to ask the Scotsman to be his mate, he'd even bought a ring, which was now lying under his bed, he just clutched it as he cried in the night thinking about everything he'd lost. All his hopes thrown out of the window, imagining that he could have a life with someone, that he could be a better partner than his father had been.

Finally one day, after seeing Soap's various attempts to talk to him, he just ran away to a mission in Urzakistan.

The next day after the mission he'd come to carry out, after they'd finally had a chance to rest, Farah came up to him and they chatted for a while, asking how Price was, if he hadn't accidentally swallowed a cigarette yet, asking about Laswell and his wife, and about Gaz, asking if he'd won the promotion he always talked about.

Ghost liked the alpha, she was a great leader for the community and its soldiers, and she even had a partner. Everything Ghost wanted.

At some point Farah asked about Soap and whether Ghost had already proposed, and Ghost froze. This didn't go unnoticed by the commander, who immediately looked into the British man's eyes strangely.

"He cheated on me..." Ghost said quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear.

Farah's eyes widened before a look of surprise appeared on her face. "Soap? Cheating? I highly doubt that, Lieutenant."

"Farah, he's pregnant." This makes Farah shut up and widen her eyes again, she stays silent for a few minutes and before she can say anything, Ghost adds. "I'm infertile..."

"Oh..." She replies. "Holy shit."

The two remain silent for a while. "Ghost," Farah says, making him look at her. "Since when did you know you were infertile?" Fuck, that question sends an electric current through Simon's body.

He doesn't want to think about the fact that he'll never be able to have children of his own, or even a family, now that Soap has cheated on him. He sighs heavily, stopping the tears from spilling over.

"I... was a POW in Mexico a few years ago, their torture was... horrible." -He breathes, memories of the scorpions, fights, hooks in his body, revolt through Simon's head.

"Did they cut your balls off?" She asks, making Simon widen his eyes and choke on his own saliva and cough a few times.

"No, no! Bloody hell, Farah." She laughs a little, trying to defuse the situation.

"So let me get this straight, these guys who caught you, they didn't cut your balls off but they hurt you, and you imagine that made you infertile?"

Ghost thinks for a moment and nods, it made sense that everything they did to Ghost's body resulted in him being infertile.

"Have you had any medical checks?" She asked, her voice starting to get thick and serious.

"No, I don't need it rubbed in my face." Simon was already starting to get uncomfortable with this subject.

"Lieutenant, let me tell you something, maybe you want to deny it to yourself, but Soap doesn't seem like a man who would easily cheat on you and get pregnant by someone random, that man looked at you like you were the sun, as much as Garrick told me about how much Soap loved you."

Simon thought so too, but the proof that Soap was just a little shit and a backstabber was in his belly, growing little by little.

"So let me ask you something, we've got some doctors here, let's run some tests." Swallowing dryly, she looks deep into Simon's eyes. "Do you really think Soap would be bad enough to do something like that?"

"Of course not! But fuck! Just looking at his belly and remembering what he said makes me think otherwise." Simon mumbles the last words, putting his hands to his face and closing his eyes, taking a deep breath so as not to break down.

He feels Farah's hand being placed on his shoulder, a strong, deep squeeze. "Let's give it a try Ghost, it's better to do this than to regret making the wrong choice later."

The hand on his shoulder begins to caress him slowly, with one last breath, Simon removes his hands from his face and looks at Farah, nodding. "Okay... what if I really am not infertile?"

With a smile Farah gets up from where they were sitting. "Knowing you the way I do, you probably ignored him, so you'll have to think of a good excuse, and well, congratulations on being a dad, I guess?"

Ghost gets up and starts following Farah to the medical ward.

One part of Simon hopes that he isn't infertile, and that this is all just a mistake that he can fix, that Soap can forgive him and that they can have this family together, retire from the army and live happily. 

But another part of Simon just wants to believe that he really is infertile, so that he doesn't have to feel that weight on his chest that he feels after abandoning his omega, that he doesn't have to regret ignoring that face full of despair and tears.

The only thing Simon knows is that he's afraid of the future.

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Something I want to say is that it makes sense for Ghost to think he's infertile. The reasons, of course, apart from the torture, are the fact that tobacco, illicit drugs, alcohol and some diseases (STIs in particular) can cause infertility if you're highly exposed to them. Which, in this case, happened to Ghost during Roba.

But of course, never assume something you're not sure about, otherwise you'll end up in almost the same situation as Ghost now.

POW = Prisioner of war

[gugapuppy]

sleepy Ghoap part of a page of sketches im doing as a break from uni work. I'll end up posting the rest it just might take a while

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 1

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

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I've been fucking stressed this week, so instead of shouting at the people around me, I've made this anguish here!

CW: Implied abortion

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Okay, but A!Ghost and O!Soap, where Soap accidentally gets pregnant and tells Ghost, thinking that everything will be fine and that the two of them will work things out together, but Ghost, after hearing about the pregnancy, swears and kicks Soap out of his room, calling him a cheater and other things.

Soap tearfully asks in despair what happened, why Simon is acting like this, but Ghost doesn't answer from inside the room. 

Several weeks passed, each time Soap tried to talk to the lieutenant, but each time Ghost ignored him as if Soap didn't exist, Ghost no longer had lunch or dinner with Soap, the two no longer smoked together behind the barracks, even every time Soap entered an environment where Ghost was, the lieutenant always ran away quickly.

The omega needs the minimum of comfort from his alpha, just a piece of clothing with his fragrance, or just a pat on the shoulder, but his alpha doesn't care about him anymore. The two weren't mated either, which made matters worse.

Gaz, Price and Laswell, and a few other soldiers noticed the change between the duo.

Gaz tried to talk to Soap, but Soap, afraid, didn't say anything about the pregnancy and just said that he and Simon had had a bit of a row, but didn't elaborate.

Price tried to talk to Ghost but the man said it was nothing, even though he knew there was something Ghost and Soap weren't telling him.

Laswell also tried to talk to Ghost but it didn't work out, as the man asked to be sent on a mission, and Laswell, unable to do much, allowed it.

After two days without seeing Ghost at the base, Soap decided to ask Price, and Price told him about Ghost's solo mission, that he would be away for at least a week or two.

And at that moment, Soap just bowed his head and thanked him for the information, and then ran to his room, and when he arrived and locked his door, he collapsed, crying gallons of tears inside his nest while hugging an scentless sweatshirt that Simon had forgotten there.

At some point he fell asleep, and hours later he woke up to his mobile phone vibrating under his pillow. When he answered it, Soap heard his mother's voice, and again he burst into tears, remembering that his own mother had been abandoned by Soap's alpha shitty father before he was born.

At that moment he told his mum everything that had happened, about Simon, the pregnancy, everything. The smell of stress and melancholy wafted through the room, anyone in there would throw up or run to give the omega a cuddle.

His mother was very understanding, listening until the end and calming him down as Soap had little anxiety attacks. In the end, Soap asked what he should do, his mother remained silent, debating for a moment what to say to her son.

After a few minutes she said calmly. "If you bring that child into the world, you won't be able to work in the army any more and you'll have to find another job that pays a lot less, plus you'll be forever linked to that alpha who hurt you."

"But he's not bad, Mum." Soap whispered.

And on the other end of the line his mum sighed. "If he was someone good, he wouldn't have treated you like that, darling." A harsh reality that Soap wished were a lie.

She was right, if Simon cared about Soap he would still be here and on his side.

"You should think about what you want to do, you have to think about what's best for you." -She said gently.

They exchanged a few more words before Soap hung up and stayed quietly inside his room and nest, staring at the ceiling and running his hand over his belly.

Gradually, everything about the pregnancy, from the time he found out to the recent weeks he spent alone, sad and abandoned in his nest without his alpha to comfort him, and together with the conversation he had with his mum earlier, Soap made up his mind.

In the gloom of his room, with his hands wrapped around his belly, Soap mumbled with small tears running down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to bring my first son or daughter into a world where he or she will have to be raised by a dysfunctional family..."

Soap was going to look for a clinic this week and someone to accompany him there...

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Idk if there's gonna be a pt 2, I just wanted to take my anger out on something. If u want, say something i guess?

Love u all! 😀

[gugapuppy]

ghost who rejected soap years ago because there’s no way soap loved him. soap, years younger than him with so little experience, couldn’t’ve looked at him with anything more than puppy love. time continues on and things shift. they’re put on different teams and it’s ages before they reunite. they’re both older now, both different. ghost says to hell with it and they hook up. it’s messy, it’s almost everything ghost could’ve wanted. it’s too detached. ghost considers pressing a kiss to soap’s sweaty forehead, staring at the way the hair starts to curl at the root, devoid of gel. soap pulls away before he can. gone is the adoration in soap’s bright eyes, resignation haven taken root.

before soap leaves he stops and turns his head, looking at ghost who’s still on the bed. “I used to really love you, you know.”

and fuck doesn’t ghost know it.

[gugapuppy]

What if Soap didn't die in the tunnels that day? What if the body they had recovered wasn't him?

And almost a year later, Ghost gets his hands on a set of photographs that show that the love of his life is still miraculously alive, living in London.

Now what if when Ghost desperately rushed to find him again and was finally standing in front of him, Soap's eyes showed no recognition of knowing who Ghost was?

Ghost swallows his pain and ignores the feel of the wedding ring he wears next to his dog tags in order to befriend Soap again. Anything to be back in his life.

Well I just posted the first chapter that begins to explore how these two souls come together again in a story about unending and unconditional love till death and beyond 🤗

[gugapuppy]

Tea time!

This is a comm I did for someone

[gugapuppy]

The frames of the video from the comic in the previous post. I experimented a lot with this, it was really fun to work with this chunky brush I found. Also the first time I draw the Reaper of Destruction as it was before Lumity!

More comments under the cut+a frame I ended up scrapping!

I'll go by order of appearance, because it's basically a chronological retelling of the events of part 1.

So the first frame is the least fancy because it was the first and I didn't nail down a style for this yet lol. It shows Ghost and Soap's first true meeting, in chapter 1, where Ghost helps Soap when he gets impaled by a rebar.

The second frame jumps to chapter 8, when Ghost first put Soap in Limbo. The triangle around them was a later addition, taken from the next frame. I love this scene, it's so fun to see it drawn out now :)

The third frame was the most important one to nail the style. I painted a whole frame, only to come back to it the next day and restart from almost 0.

This is the original third frame

They both show the same event - chapter 21, the second time Soap is thrown into Limbo. The difference is, one shows a more literal image of what happened, and the other is more symbolic.

And by now I think you know how much I love symbolism lol

What also bothered me with the scraped painting is that the composition isn't central, and the entire pose, while more dynamic, isn't fitting the mural feel the rest has.

There's an even earlier version of the scrapped painting, with Soap's face, but nowhere else there are faces in these series, so I went wild with it and covered it with flames. He had them behind him already, as the description of this scene in the fic says Soap had a helo of fire behind him.

(also hated how Limbo's victims looked in the scrapped version like... ew lol)

There wasn't a real reason to add the circles around Soap. I just wanted to lean more heavily into the mural style. But I took that circle motif to the end, after that, and added it to Ghost as well, hence the triangle.

Soap has one skeletal hand, and one palm. That one is on purpose, to show he's hanging in between life and death.

The fourth frame is pretty self-explanatory, it shows the part in chapter 21 where Soap gets the dark marks on his forearm. If the colors look weird in that one, it's because I messed with them so much I couldn't tell if they look good anymore on not

The fifth frame shows another favorite moment of mine, the moment Ghost gets his marks, the white tear tracks, when he finally notices Soap fighting in the void.

The sixth frame is my favorite of the bunch. Soap and Ghost, the triangle and circle combined. The moment they killed Graves, Ghost in full control of his subjects, Soap with his sword of white fire and army of burning moths. They look so scary in this one I love them

The seventh frame shows Void and Destruction. Void was straight forward, I've drawn it a few times before, but I had to make a more detailed design for Destruction, and I only had the very first sketches I made for Revenant AU to go off of, as well as Lumity's design. Idk why I designed Lumity before Destruction, but that's how it is. I wanted Destruction melting, like it can't handle its own heat.

The eighth frame is of Void and Destruction combining. In the fic they had in-between states, it didn't look like this, but for the sake of the video I thought it'd be nicer to have a clear frame of them combining.

The ninth and last frame is of our beloved Lumity. Their design is a little more detailed than the drawing I made a while back. This frame is also the only one that interacts with the foreground, aka Makarov. I think he was jump-scared, don't know how much that comes across.

Damn I had a lot to write. Well, when given the opportunity to ramble...

[gugapuppy]

CW FLASHING IN THE VIDEO (3rd from the bottom)

This is it. 3 months in the works, the comic (and video) are finally done.

A little over a year ago, I uploaded the first work in Revenant AU, Ghost's origin comic. I never thought I'd write a whole series for this, but I'm so glad I did. I got a whole new hobby out of it, haha.

I already began working on part 2, but this for me marks the start of it. I'm really excited to get back into this world!

Under the cut there are some comments on the comic I thought some people might be interested in (don't wanna make this post longer than it already is lol). I will upload the frames from the video separately, with comments on it there.

Bottom line is, thank you for letting me just go wild with this :)

Okay, I'm mostly gonna talk about the part where Fate shows Makarov the 141+Farah. Makarov doesn't see the Fate of people as literal images, he often has to interpret odd symbolism in the flashes he gets from the Weave of Fate.

I decided to go for a style I saw in a collection of calling cards in MW3, mainly from this one:

You can really see it in the faces and pitch-black cel shading.

I'll be going in order of appearance, starting with Farah.

Obviously, each of the "flashes" shows the Reaping of each person, Farah being crushed under rubble. Behind her is a helo of green gas, which symbolizes the Russian experimental gas. The motifs around her are more interesting imo - they're taken from the Urzik flag (and yeah apparently it's "Urzik" and not "Urzikstani"... according to the wiki at least). Wings, plants (feels to me like a pomegranate and some sort of crop, but I couldn't find what it is specifically), and a moon, upside down.

I'm skipping ahead a bit, but I've had the idea to make a drawing of Gaz in the Hanged Man pose since I started the AU basically. I tried sketching it once, and it went bad so I gave up lol. But I decided to come back to that here, and add some sort of tarot connection to all of them. I know practically nothing about tarot, googled the meanings of each, they fit well enough, I called it a day lol.

So Farah is the Moon, upside down.

Price is next, showing him taking control of the brain of someone. I didn't use the flag of the UK for the 141 (it'd be kinda boring...), instead I took the Taskforce 141 logo, and broke it down to different elements.

I took the laurels for Price, both framing his illustration and sitting above his head like a crown. I decided he will be the Emperor.

Next up is Gaz, the Hanged Man of course. Gaz gets both the wings and the stars (I changed mine to 4-pointed because... I like them better). Pretty clear why, both symbols relate to the sky. The illustrations kinda follow a rough day cycle, if that makes sense. Farah being night, with the moon. Price with his golden and purple color palette, twilight. Gaz being sunrise, and Ghost and Soap, day. This is why Gaz has a sun behind him.

Ghost was fun because he's the only inhuman one out of the group. I'll let you think what that implies, that even in Fate's Weave, Ghost is an outlier... Ghost gets the skull, and the card "Death". That one was easy, but what I did add is blood flowing down the skulls, like tear tracks...

Soap, the problem child, gave me the most issues as always. For once, it wasn't his fucking face, it was the flames behind him, and overall contrast and readability issues. Soap's illustration is probably packed with the most "hidden" details, though they're obvious if you've read the fic and Konchar's side story. The headless man behind Soap is Konchar himself, holding 4 chains with dog tags on them. The 4 soldiers from Soap's squad, who he killed before Soap was Reaped. Soap's pose is from the moment he came to his senses, after getting shot in the head and destroying a large part of Verdansk. He has 4 swords, pointing at him and downwards, so his card is 4 of Swords, upside down.

Between Soap and Ghost is a circle and a triangle. I'll explain that in the post concerning the video, since that's where I got that from.

If you read all of this, thank you so much! There will be another post for you to read in a moment lol

[gugapuppy]

Nikolai sketch! We love a hard working man 🙏

[gugapuppy]