#god i miss therapy

[semiotomatics]

realizing as i think abt the concert im going to tomorrow/today that i havent gone outside in almost a month. oops!

[vakariansmonocle]

"i don't understand how they think we're slamming the door" says people who aren't on the other side of the wall when said door gets slammed and I can HEAR it bounce and feel it shake the fucking wall as they slam said door. every. single. day.

[seldompathic]

If bro smiles through tears in episode 1 of S3 I'm gonna fold like a lawn chair

[liahleeh]

Passa tempo, passa tempo... E chegou novamente agosto. O mês difícil. Não, não é nenhum tipo de superstição. É apenas um mês difícil. Triste. É difícil ver a todo momento a palavra pai estampada em cada canto. Em cada comercial, propaganda, anúncios de lojas. É difícil ficar olhando sempre sugestões de presentes. É triste ver este dia chegar, e com ele a saudade. A saudade existe sempre, mas neste mês ela vem com mais intensidade, mais força. Se eu soubesse que aquele seria o último dia que te vi, teria te abraçado com tanta força. Se soubesse que seria a última vez que ouviria sua voz, te pediria para ouvir um último eu te amo. Nenhum abraço, nenhuma palavra de amor jamais terá o mesmo valor. Eu daria tudo para ter seu amor de pai. Para ser amada por um pai. Ter o privilégio deste amor. Você dizia que eu era sua princesinha. E que saudade de me sentir uma princesa, de ser tratada como uma princesa! Nenhum homem no mundo jamais amará uma mulher como um pai ama sua filha. Nenhum é capaz de cuidar, de admirar, de valorizar, como um pai. E é por isso que minha vontade é gritar bem alto para todos que têm a sorte de ter um pai, para que não só neste dia, mas em todos, os valorize, os ame, os abrace, beije, e aproveite cada instante junto deles. Muita saudade. Muita falta!!! ❤️‍🩹🖤💔❤️‍🩹🖤💔

[lloydfrontera]

i don't buy that lloyd would get over his fear of the restoration of fate that quickly. he was doomed by the narrative for years and now he's supposed to shake it off in less than two weeks? absolutely not, he literally tried to kill himself in order to avoid it, ain't no fucking way he just stopped being scared about it in a couple days i don't believe it

anyway. this is my way of saying that lloyd refused to cross dimensions until he made javier swear that he would kill him with his own hands if there was even a hint of the restoration of fate starting up again. he wouldn't consider going back if it meant putting his family and home in danger again even if it meant being left behind in a place he would've rather died than stay at.

and they both know that javier would fall on his own sword before hurting lloyd but they also know lloyd would take his own life before allowing him to do that or to let his existence put his loved ones in danger again. they know lloyd doesn't really need javier to kill himself, not if he's really committed to it. he's done it before it after all.

him asking javier this is. a warning. of what he's planning to do if the restoration of fate starts again. it's his way of telling javier that he cannot promise things will be okay if he comes back. that he must be ready to lose lloyd again if necessary because lloyd won't allow anything else.

it's also maybe... an indulgence on lloyd's part. he's felt himself die so many times now. and so many of his deaths were painful or terrifying or surrounded by his enemies and sometimes all three at once.

but he remembers a sunset, a coat over his shoulders, shaky yet reliable hands holding a sword. a quick, peaceful death on his own terms, done by someone lloyd trusted with something far more important than his life.

and he knows it's selfish, he knows it's cruel, but if he has to die, for real this time, can't it be at the hands of his best friend? if he has to be killed, can't it be done by someone lloyd knows cares for him? if he has to close his eyes and never open them again, can't the last thing he ever sees be the face of the person he loves enough to die for as many times as necessary?

and javier agrees because. what else can he do. he spent so long hoping lloyd would finally trust him enough to tell him what he was planning so javier could help him in anyway he was able to and now. now lloyd is asking this of him.

he desperately doesn't want to say 'yes'. but he cannot say 'no'.

what else can he do.

what's the point of being the most powerful human on the world if he can't even protect the one person he swore to protect above all things. what's the point of him if the only thing he can do is promise to kill his best friend because he has no other way to protect everything they've worked for.

how can he promise lloyd that everything will be okay, that things will work out, that if needed javier will die for him before letting anything happen to him, when he already failed before.

what else can he do

anyway. i don't think any amount of end spoilers and confessions to the jewel of truth are enough to soothe the terrified, paranoid and utterly traumatized part inside lloyd's chest that goes tight any time anything goes even remotely wrong for a good while. it takes a couple months, maybe a few years even, before lloyd stops going cold every time there's even a hint of trouble around him. before he stops reflexively looking to javier's sword to calm himself down whenever things don't go perfectly right in every way.

it takes a while. but it does happen. and things aren't perfect, that's not how life works, but they're good and even when they aren't, lloyd can finally face them and believe they're not his fault. that his existence is not an obstacle for the happiness of the people he loves.

[ranubd]

THIS SONG WAS NOT WELCOME AT THIS TIMEE OMGGGG. Hi. I just had to do this now bcoz ... Just bcoz ok??

This one's honestly my favourite of the bunch. <3 Fighting the urge to make more Desert Duo as Flowerfell.

:( I hate this damn song sm (I love it)

[aq2003]

good lord i rewatched a clip of it and im fully crying over th "donna, is that you?" scene. again . if any of you are wondering where my headspace is at it's jst complete and utter emotional damage over this

[emberdune]

this man has been naming patrons for TEN minutes

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: a sketch page of various drawings of Willow Park from the owl house. From left to right the drawings are: timeskip willow playing flyer derby, Willow in her season 1 casual outfit next to her in her season 3 Halloween costume, Willow as Anne in an amphibia au, young willow doing pottery with her dad Gilbert, young willow and amity holding hands/hugging and smiling, and willow looking at clover, who's perched on her finger and wearing a dress and wig made of yarn so as to resemble Willow. Willow is trying to hold back laughter while clover looks unamused. In the center is a drawing of Willow drawing a large spell circle with her staff, and the title of the sketch page reads "willow week 2023", with each drawing labeled as a specific day/prompt, such as day 3: flyer derby/fav on-screen outfit, day 1: crossover, day 2: childhood/father-daughter, or day 1: palismen bonding. Drawings 2, 6, and 7 are coloured while the rest are uncoloured. The background is a scribbly green. End ID]

hi I’m only a month or so late to it BUT! Nearly out of the mines (finals) and that means i can post the sketch page i worked on for Willow Week! Hosted by @agrebel18

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[txmxkis]

started rewatching haikyuu before going to see the movie next week. first episode tears flowing

[bare1ythere]

One day I will have an average interaction where nothing goes wrong that will be the last drop of mortification I need to finally go into my room and never leave again

[victorianchildwithinternet]

okey, it's very sad that Abed's cool coolcoolcool and his more quirky side left with Troy. But I think we are all forgetting that his last time saying those words or trying to go on a silly adventure werent before Troy left. They werent on Cooperative Poligrafy or Geothermal Escapism. They were in Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality. He tried to be the same Abed as he was before, trying to not let Troy's departure get to him. Convincing himself that yeah, he can simply have the same little adventures but alone now, he can keep using his quirky coolcoolcool thing, just because Troy is not here doenst mean anything has changed. But he couldn't do it. That part of himself was allowed to be thanks to Troy. And the moment in which he looked at his seat wasnt just him missing Troy, but also him realizing that he cant be this part of Abed without him. So he simply stopped. I think that makes it even sadder.

[possiblytracker]

coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up

firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out

fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise

i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..

[liahleeh]

Meu pai, você não está mais entre nós, você partiu faz tempo, mas jamais deixarei passar um aniversário seu sem lembrar o homem e pai maravilhoso que você foi!!! Infelizmente, hoje não podemos celebrar seu aniversário, porque você não está mais aqui. Mas gostaria que você soubesse não haver um único dia em que eu não sinto a sua falta... Mesmo distantes, você sempre será meu pai, meu grande amigo e confidente. O amor que nos une jamais irá desaparecer. Até um dia, meu pai!!!❤️‍🩹💔🖤🥀🤍

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness