#god i hate that thing. maybe i should list it for £1 and watch it go

[hoippu]

ZoLu Fanfic Masterlist

(Guide for people who want to avoid anime spoilers)

it's in chronological order of the anime arcs but the first several ones are the AU fics

EDIT: check out the google doc for more updates on the list

Ephemerality by greatduwangs

http://archiveofourown.org/works/37446706

Alternate Universe – Demon AU

Don’t need to be caught up to One Piece tbh but still have a good amount of knowledge on some early introduced characters. If you’ve at least gotten to Baratie I think that’s good enough.

Read Roses Mean Friendship by Aki133

http://archiveofourown.org/works/44277967

Alternate Universe – Flower Shop AU

You don’t have to be caught up to One Piece either.

There’s a few characters here tho that get introduced in the anime in Thriller Bark and in Dressrossa.

Tomatoes, Spanish class and roommates by bunnylover101

http://archiveofourown.org/works/38490631

Alternate Universe – Modern College AU

Unrelated to the main story of One Piece but it contains characters from Dressrossa, post-marineford and I think Water 7.

Eternity would be a Curse (Without You By My Side) by Puppypaws54672

http://archiveofourown.org/works/47262166  

Alternate Universe – Gods & Goddesses

No actual spoilers but theres a lot of characters from like the whole series lol

Splendid fanfic

Part 1 of a series

Eternity Had Cursed Me (To Be Without You By My Side) by Puppypaws54672

Part 2 of Eternity would be a Curse (Without You By My Side)

Alternate Universe – Gods & Goddesses, Reincarnation, Modern

No actual spoilers but theres characters from the whole series

The Story of Us by Mugiwat

http://archiveofourown.org/works/48543286

Alternate Universe – Modern AU

No actual spoilers but theres lots of characters again.

Warning: youre gonna hate Law In this fic lmao

catching butterflies by aquietdin

http://archiveofourown.org/works/48133825

(pre-timeskip) Takes place sometime between Skypiea arc but before Long Island arc.

You should also watch the G-8 filler arc because I think it’s referenced, but it’s okay cuz it is honestly the best and only filler arc worth watching.

Ode to an ocean by novks (thychesters)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/46906945

(pre-timeskip) Takes place right before water 7.

Chimes by drcalvin

http://archiveofourown.org/works/451483

(pre-timeskip) Contains spoilers from Water 7/ Post-Enies Lobby.

Takes place after shortly after marineford I think. Maybe wait until the timeskip begins before reading this one just in case.

Unable Are the Loved to Die by BasicallyACat

http://archiveofourown.org/works/24785554

(pre-timeskip) post Enies Lobby

Is a series

You are all I see by Anonymous

http://archiveofourown.org/works/47441071

Alternate Universe – Modern AU

Do not read until you’ve finished Marineford arc

One of my favorites

The Dawn that Rises Bloody by BasicallyACat

http://archiveofourown.org/works/27556822

a sequel to Unable Are the Loved to Die

(post-timeskip) I don’t recall reading this one yet so I cant really say up until where you should watch the anime. But definitely post timeskip

Feelings, what a mess! by drcalvin

http://archiveofourown.org/works/371473.

(post-timeskip) Very early into the timeskip. I’d say you can read when they’re on the way to fishman island.

Heliotrope by LostInClouds

http://archiveofourown.org/works/44929768

(post-timeskip) As long as you reach the timeskip and have made it more or less to when theyre sailing to Fishman Island, you should be fine.

The Things we do for Love by LostInClouds

http://archiveofourown.org/works/46912906

(post-timeskip) It’s recommended that you reach the timeskip for this one too and probably before fishman island is also good enough.

Of First Mates and Duty by Whatev3rs

http://archiveofourown.org/works/40266276

(post-timeskip) takes place in an indefinite point in the timeskip after return to sabaody arc.

Probably my favorite zolu oneshot fr

His Captain, Captivating by jirachi

http://archiveofourown.org/works/48769138             

(post-timeskip) Try to read after Wholecake arc or at least Punk Hazard. There aren’t any major spoilers for Wholecake but there’s a new crewmate there that doesn’t join until then.

Kizuna by YokoHogawa

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4452800

(post-timeskip) after fishman island

The Five Times Luffy Kissed Zoro, and the One Time Zoro Kissed Luffy by EclecticIsMyMiddleName

http://archiveofourown.org/works/18994144

This one takes place throughout the story up until the end of Wano arc.

It’s preferable that you’re fully caught up because it’s so good you might wanna binge it.

However if you absolutely must here’s the time period for each chapter:

Chapter 1 (pre-timeskip) right after Arlong Park

Chapter 2 (pre-timeskip) takes place in episode 223 (I think that’s a filler arc but its short and not too bad to watch)

Chapter 3 (pre-timeskip) between Enies Lobby arc and post-Enies Lobby arc episodes 312 and 313 (don’t read the chapter summary cuz it has spoilers)

Chapter 4 (pre-timeskip) At the end of thriller bark episodes 377 and 378

Chapter 5 (post-timeskip) from the beginning of timeskip until Wano

Chapter 6 (post-timeskip) end of wano

[bingbongsupremacy]

Lonely Pt. 2

Pairing: Stranger Things x reader Zombie Apocalypse AU

Warnings:

Series Summary: A few days after the zombie apocolypse took over Hawkins you lost everyone. Once you finally run out of supplies, you're forced to venture out into the town, hoping not to run into anyone and make it to safety alive. Unfortunately, life doesn't always go how you want it.

Part Summary: You've arrived in some sort of community. Will the leader let you stay?

*Not Proof Read*

This Fic does not mention body type, weight, race, gender, etc. If I happened to mess up and add a pronoun or anything that could define the readers appearance, please let me know so I can fix it. Ty!

ABC List Stranger Things Master List

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

*****

" Where are we? "

The sun is almost completely gone. What's left of the light faintly lights up the inside of the van from the front windows.

" We're-" Eddie begins before Steve interrupts him.

" We can't tell you that. Not yet. "

I get the feeling he doesn't like me very much.

Eddie looks over at the man, letting out a small sigh in the process. " And I thought I was the dramatic one. What the fuck dude, just tell them. "

Steve lets out an annoyed huff. " Think, dude. What if they've got a group? What if they bring back an army that wipes everyone out at our base? "

" I don't have a group. " I try to reassure the man.

Steve doesn't budge. " I'm sorry, I just don't trust you yet. "

" Don't worry, mister Sunshine isn't always this friendly. " Eddie tries to break the tension with humor. " You should see him on poker night. "

" We're here. Eddie, bring 'em in. " Steve orders while the van pulls to a halt.

A faint buzz of noise fills my ears from outside of the van. Where are we?

Steve gets out of the van, leaving me and Eddie inside. Eddie helps me stand up and we patiently wait by the van doors.

The van doors swing open revealing Steve and an older man.

I think I recognize him...

" Sherriff? "

The man's brows furrow. " Are you from Hawkins? "

I nod. " Y-yeah. "

Sherriff Hopper nods at Eddie who leads me out of the van. " Bring 'em inside. "

We follow the sheriff down the road and I'm finally able to take in my surroundings.

Old businesses and buildings make up a long row eventually stopping at a large wall. People watch us as we pass, muttering amongst themselves curiously. Dogs roam the streets, some with collars and some without. Children run through the streets, loud laughter following behind them.

It's a community. God I missed this. I didn't think I'd ever see this again.

I'm led to a tall building, something I assume is the makeshift town hall. Multiple horses tied to the buildings railings stand around outside.

As we step inside I'm hit with a gust of cold wing. AC.

" Fuck, I missed air conditioning. " I let out a sigh of contentment. I close my eyes in and try to soak in the feeling.

Eddie chuckles. " AC is just the tip of the ice berg. "

What do they have here?

The sheriff leads us to an office. He sits behind a desk, folding his hands while he waits for us to close the door. " Who are you? "

Ouch. I thought he'd remember me. So much for small-town life.

" Y/N L/N. " I reply. I shift my hands slightly, uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze.

" Do you have a group? "

I shake my head. I hope they let me stay here. I fucking hate it out there alone. " No. I've been on my own for years. "

" How are you alive? " Eddie asks curiously. " We thought Hawkins was completely wiped out by the virus. How did you make it? "

" I hid in a house until I ran out of supplies. I went out to look for stuff, maybe make my way out of the state to see if I could find anyone else. I didn't know there were so many hordes on Main Street or I would've never done down there. "

" How many people have you killed? " Steve's voice is cold, distrusting. His gaze is sharp. It sends shivers down my spine.

" W-what? I've never killed anyone. I swear, I don't even know how to use a fucking gun! " I turn back to the sheriff. " Besides, I've been alone. Who the fuck would I kill? "

" Did you search 'em for weapons? " Sherriff Hopper asks Eddie and Steve.

" Just found this. " Steve sets my knife on Sherriff Hoppers' desk. " Otherwise, they're clean. "

" What is this place? " I ask.

" This is our community. It's called The Quarry. " Eddie informs as he takes a seat in one of the chairs across from the Sherriff.

" How do you guys have electricity? I thought everything went down when the virus hit. " I ask, very confused to how everything is working.

" We were able to turn on a power plant nearby thanks to some of the engineers who survived. " Hopper pulls out a knife. He cuts the zip tie around my wrist. " You can stay here on the condition that you pull your weight. We have multiple jobs that need positions filled if you're interested. If not, I'll have my boys here take you out a few miles from here and let you go. Your choice. "

" I want to stay here. " I say immediately. " I'll work. I don't care what I do. I just...I can't be out there alone anymore. " I tenderly touch the red lines that popped up from the zip ties on my wrist.

" Hop, I don't know- " Steve begins.

Sherriff Hopper shakes his head. " Steve, have they done anything to make you suspicious of them? "

Steve doesn't respond.

" We give chances here. You know this. " The sheriff turns to me. " You'll need to be checked for bites before we give you a room. Eddie here will give you a tour tomorrow and we can find you a position to work. "

I smile at the older man. " Thank you so much. "

He nods, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. " Eddie, Take her to Joyce for a check-up and then show her to the boarding house. "

Eddie nods. " You got it, Hop. " He opens the office door and we leave the sheriff and Steve behind. " Let's go find Joyce. "

I wonder why Steve hates me?

++++++++

I'm having a hard time figuring out what ship I want in this. What are you guys thinking? Originally this was going to be an Eddie Munson fic but I think I could turn it into an enemies-to-lovers thing with Steve. Or should I attempt a love triangle situation? What do you guys want?

[blissfullyecho]

Do you have any tips on leveling up after a breakup? I'm heartbroken.... he cheated on me and is now FB/IG official with the girl today (we broke up yesterday) and it's almost like we never even dated for the few years we have. Now I want to level up BIG TIME

leveling up after a breakup where the loser broke your heart:

first and foremost, what a loser. i hate that you’re going through this because i wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy. but God has something better for you and maybe this had to happen so you CAN START your level up and get something much much better down the road. that’s what happened to me at least 🫶🏼

step 1: good riddance to him. it’s okay to cry and be angry, but do not be angry with yourself. don’t second guess what YOU did wrong and if YOU were the issue. he obviously has issues. delete, block, throw away anything and everything— physically and digitally that was his or was from him (unless they were nice gifts like diamonds and bags— you keep those lol). he wants to move on like you never existed? you do the same.

step 2: people either get 40% better or 40% worse after a breakup. don’t eat the tub of ice cream every night on your couch watching romance movies. make healthy decisions. treat yourself to whatever, but don’t go overboard. i did that with my ex and gained 30lbs and it made me feel more insecure.

step 3: indulge in level up content on all platforms. you may need the constant reminder to better yourself and i assume you’re on social media for the most part, so make social media work for you. this might make you feel better being reminded that you can be better than the girl he broke up/cheated on (you).

step 4: DO NOT DATE RIGHT NOW. you might feel lonely, you might want affection, i get it. we’ve all been there. but what’s going to happen is that the guys you date (if you date them too soon), will have you comparing them to the good things your ex once did. no guy is the same and you are going to feel worse because “these guys aren’t like him”. wait out on these guys for now until you are better than where you are now and i’m saying on a mental level.

step 5: re-evaluate your standards. what were the things you accepted from him that you didn’t really like but you let it slide? create a list of your “must haves” and “like to haves” for the guys you date in the future and stick to those standards.

step 6: learn to date yourself. create a list of things you’ve always wanted to do in the relationship but didn’t have the time to do it. maybe there were things you always wanted to do but you didn’t do them because he didn’t want you to. create that list and start getting to work. make yourself happy and SPOIL yourself with saying “yes” to everything you want to do.

step 7: do not stalk him or her. no checking their social media— even if it’s a year down the road. he’s in the trash bin. who cares what he’s doing. who cares what she’s doing. your standards have already increased. if you have to deactivate your socials for right now, do that. that’s what i had to do.

step 8: along with step 7, your TRUE friends and REAL family should not be giving you updates/tea on him or his life/relationship. that’s toxic and an immediate “no”.

step 9: work on yourself. find areas in your life that you want to improve on and start working on them each day. even if they are baby steps. if you continue your baby steps, eventually you’ll reach your goal.

[knee-stockings]

So I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts at work lately to break up the monotony of my office job. Mainly they’re horror, suspense/thriller, drama, that kind of thing. Trying to give ratings without spoilers~

(Check out updated pod recs here)

The Left Right Game (a journalist investigating an urban legend that gets increasingly more dangerous as they go): 5/5, this being one of the first ones I listened to set the bar really high tbh, it was great, immersive sound design, genuinely suspenseful and creepy moments, interesting plot, my only gripe is that I didn’t love the ending but I couldn’t dock a star just for that, highly recommend, maybe I’ll retire to Wintry Bay someday 

Alice Isn’t Dead (delivery trucker goes searching for her believed dead wife, comes across supernatural towns and creatures and a conspiracy that goes way deeper than one missing woman): 5/5, so so good, enjoyed a lot, I loved learning the truth about the Thistle men, still don’t completely understand oracles but that’s okay, some delightfully creepy moments, this will be high on my recommendation list (also it’s by the Welcome to Night Vale people, which I actually haven’t listened to lmao)

Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind (it’s a Harley Quinn origin story basically): 5/5, very enjoyable, sound design great, plot was fun, I don’t know how accurate this story is to the original Harley Quinn origin story but I liked this a lot

The Burned Photo (two women try to fight a familial curse haunting their bloodlines): 4/5, not bad at all, I thought the sound design was great and immersive but I thought the monster’s voice was a bit goofy idk, the plot wasn’t bad though ofc it was pretty bittersweet and sad in the end, tho I think it was never going to be happy for everyone involved

Blackwood (group of teens investigate the town urban legend and uncover more than they bargained for): I can’t decide…3.5 maybe? It was okay. I didn’t love it or hate it, I’m pretty neutral about it. It was interesting enough

Gaslight (girl goes missing and then reappears to her best friend years later with little explanation): 3/5, feels like there should be another season, wasn’t as dramatic/suspenseful as I thought it would be (maybe that’s my own fault tho, from the description and stuff I thought there would be more to it)

Ice-Cream (teens suspect the friendly neighborhood ice cream man of abducting little kids and uncover a dark secret): 4.5/5, interesting and a lil creepy, there’s something oddly funny about hearing someone scream “fuck you Beelzebub” even in context, sound design is pretty good and voice acting is great, finale was also pretty good but I’m docking half a star bc of that very last bit and bc I said so, overall short n’ sweet, no pun intendo (I’m kinda glad that it’s only the one season and not super long, gives the feeling of not overstaying its welcome. Also in awe that they made it within like a month, gonna go listen to their other podcast Cascadia too)

Cascadia (submarine expedition to uncharted waters, gone wrong, we almost died!?): 5/5, by the Ice-Cream people so I expected great sound design and voice acting and said expectations were met tbh, yes god love the drama, ocean depths are inherently scary to me so this is top tier horror, season one was chef’s kiss beautiful and I heard season 2 is coming so I’ll be waiting eagerly for that

Listening now:

Within the Wires (season 1 is relaxation cassette tapes from another world, season 2 is a guided museum tour I think): also by the WTNV people, interesting so far, the plot that unfolded in the first season was cool to watch as it played out, but also I am so sad. I like it so far

Rabbits (girl goes searching for her friend who disappeared because of this mysterious Rabbits game): feels like a really slow start after a few episodes, I kinda wanna get to more action soon please

Wake of Corrosion (apocalypse where characters are trying to find other survivors and also answers): mild shrug, not sure what to make of it just yet. Only like 2 episodes in so I think I need to give it a bit

Ars Paradoxica (scientist accidentally invents time travel and is thrown back to the 1940s): pretty interesting so far, science is fun 

Spoiler comment for Cascadia under the cut bc it's the one I just finished and I have Thoughts

As much as I enjoyed Cascadia, when I think about the expedition for more than 2 seconds I get confused. Not the whole alien thing, that’s fine, it’s Badger and Maria and their ulterior motives. Why in the world did Badger spend millions of dollars to make a submarine that’s faulty on purpose? And there was so much media coverage around it so the second something went wrong reporters were practically beating him over the head with microphones, so why risk so much bad press? Plus sacrificing three other talented divers who trusted him with their lives??? That’s the most confusing to me. There’s no way Badger foresaw them getting attacked underwater and losing Declan alone, so he must have been fully prepared to lose captain AND crew. Holden said that he saw Badger as a father, and yet he chose Holden to die? He said he handpicked them, so what did Holden, Alia, or Iris ever do to him to deserve being sent on a suicide mission? Doing all this just to get rid of Declan and be with Maria doesn’t feel right. Feels like there should be something more there. Tldr: surely Badger had another reason for conducting the suicide mission, right? Also since season 2 starts with Lila all grown up, a diver just like her father, I wanna know her opinions of her mother and of Badger. Did she learn about her mother’s betrayal? Is Badger still involved in funding deep sea diving or did the FBI take him out of that? Omg who’s the father of her little sibling…I’m so curious…

[sofiiel]

Tread on Me Lightly | Ch. 1

Table of Contents | Next ▷

Warnings: none that I am currently aware of.

Your minds turning three miles a minute as you've zoned out in the steam. Murmuring your to-do list quietly.

"Last two classes of the day, you need to give Rochelle her invite to the pool party for Tammy. Remember to turn in that assignment for extra credit. Pick up the make up assignment from Mrs. Sharpton's class."

Lost in thought, you didn't feel the loose clasp of your birthstone necklace give way.

"Ugh, then there are the auditions for drama, my first day down at Claire's." you thought as the soap slipped across your skin.

You'd taken no notice of the quiet figure whose teeth were clamped into her bottom lip, three showers down, as she watched the wall with extreme interest. She was moving like lightning to wash up.

"You released a labored sigh, and then you've got to avoid Andy all week, that'll be fun. At least Tina gave you that heads up." you thought.

Your necklace finally made its escape, with a delay, you scrambled after the runaway trinket. Your fingers frantically tried to catch the chain headed for the busted drain guard.

"No, no, no!" you called, knees hitting the tiles painfully.

A second pair of hands reached out and caught the chain, "I don't think I've ever moved that fast in my life." their owners sighed.

You looked up in surprise, you'd been sure you were alone. But you'd never been so glad not to have the showers to yourself.

"Um...here" She said, holding out your necklace.

You cupped your hands and gratefully accepted it, encasing it inside your palms.

"Thanks, I don't know when you got here, but. I'm glad you are here." you sighed. Struggling to offer a smile, "Buckley, right?" you asked.

Her eyes grew wide as the water continued to rain down on your heads, her hair plastered around her freckles.

Robin gave an absent nod, "yeah." she said, but her eyes said, "Did that just happen?"

It was the look you often got from students who deemed you one of the popular girls. As if talking with them should be a crime. It was hard to fight the urge to cringe. You hated that look.

Getting to your feet, carefully hold your necklace, "I own you one big time." you tell Robin.

She's still knelt on the floor, subtly covering her chest and struggling to keep eye contact.

"Ah, don't worry about it. It's pretty well known you love that necklace...you wear it every day and all." Robin uttered.

The bell rang loudly, and you could have sworn you'd heard Robin whistle in relief.

"Well, I did to be going. But thanks for the save, I still owe you one." You spoke quickly, heading for your towel and out of the showers.

Robin toppled onto the floor and backed up against the wall. Her heart beat violently in her chest as she exhaled every bit of air she could muster out of her lungs.

Her hands grabbed the top of her head and pulled at her soaked hair.

"Holy shit, what kind of fresh sweet hell did today just become?" She thought.

"I mean, how does spilling your milk carton on Carol Perkins and getting a spit wad shot into your trumpet turn into hitting the showers the same time as ____ _____ and - and totally saving her prized necklace?" Robin's mind ranted.

She gulped down a breath of air, "and you saw her as the world first met her." Robin chewed her tongue, the face suddenly feeling hot.

"And she's cute under her clothes too, this isn't fair." Robin glanced down at herself, "Oh god, she saw you too, you just saw each other in the most awkward boob-flopping scramble in the history of ever."

Though, it was enough to make her snort softly with laughter.

Was she mortified? Yes, but the humor of it all would not be lost on her. In fact, maybe it was a good thing. Nothing could be worse than what they each may or may not have seen of each other.

And more than anything, "She seems more human now." Robin murmured.

In the parking lot of the Star Court, you fixed your mascara in the review mirror. You liked working at Claire's it gave you more of a chance to break the weird barriers people at school seemed to force around you.

You loved helping people pick out jewelry and accessories. Sure, you weren't the be-all and end-all of fashion, but you'd learned a thing or two from the circle of friends you'd been shoved into.

It was nice helping others feel better about themselves, even if it was so little of a thing as helping them find those earrings that bring out their eyes.

Or a hair clip that went that shirt they have nothing to match with.

Then you weren't just that popular girl from school.

And if you were lucky, that person might just talk to you the next time they see you. Maybe even without approaching like a chicken into a fox den.

It was a better job than working at Radio Shack, and you were actually quite glad to exit your car and head off to your second week on the job.

Arriving early, you decide to stop into the gap to pick up the Blondie shirt you'd seen last week. Remembering how it was the perfect mix of cute but not too extremely girly. It seemed beachy casual.

And today, there was only one left on the rack.

It was clearly too big for you. But it was the only one left. "And who knows if they'll be getting more in." you thought. Luckily, as part of the drama club, you knew more than enough people who could take it in for you.

Grabbing the shirt from the wrack, you were met with resistance.

"Oh, sorry," Robin said, snapping her hand away from the shirt.

Your eyes wandered to the cute design, and you inwardly groaned.

"You do owe her." you thought.

Reluctantly, you held out the shirt, "no, here it's too big for me anyway." you offered quickly. Stealing a glance over, Robin in her blue and white sailor uniform.

Your eyes took in the details of softly toned legs, and you tried your best not to let them linger there. Tilting your head slightly, you couldn't help but notice, that the shirt wouldn't have fit her, either.

"But maybe she can sew or knows a good seamstress." you thought.

"It wasn't going to fit, I was going to cut the picture off as a patch for a quilt" Robin explained with a shrug.

"You make quilts?" You asked, She didn't look like she would. But a quilt out of band and pop culture bits and pieces...you could see her doing that.

This was in fact the girl that came to school every day in dark nail polish, fairly well-maintained makeup, and always seemed tumbled between punk and something fresh out of Europe. Or at least what you imaged of Europe.

You held the shirt out further, "that actually sounds pretty rad. If you show me what you make with it. You can have the shirt." You state with a smile.

Robin's cheeks flushed subtly, "You...want to see a quilt?" she asked, arching a brow.

You laughed, "It's scandalous, isn't it?" You teased.

"A little, yeah, It's just...surprising. But, yeah - sure, deal," said Robin.

"We're even now," Robin added.

You shook your head, "Hardly. I would be lost without this," you murmured, gingerly touching your fingertips to the dainty necklace.

Robin's gaze fell to your neckline.

"You don't even know." you whispered.

"Where'd you get that neckla-"

Robin's words slipped back into her vocal cords as two hands took your arms.

"There you are!" Tina chimed happily.

"We've been looking all over for you, that hunk who works in the jazzercise classes is stretching," Heather added.

You shuddered inwardly, looking into the distance with a dull gaze.

Robin covered her mouth to hold in a chuckle at your lack of enthusiasm.

At that moment, your eyes met hers, and she flashed you an apologetic smile.

She wished she could help you, however, her shift was about to start.

Your eyes still screamed for help as your two friends hauled you away. Robin getting further away as they did so, seeming at a loss in deep conflict about what to do.

Robin groaned as she slung a scoop of ice cream into a sugar cone and passed it off to the customer.

"I should have done something." she thought.

"But I did have to get to work," Robin answered herself once the customer walked away.

It was a slow day at work, and it was leaving her with plenty of time to regret what had happened.

"Though that guy they hauled her off to looks...unnatural, and now she's probably been traumatized for weeks," Robin muttered to herself.

"You know, they say talking to yourself is a bad sign." someone snarked.

Robin's eyes fell down to the little girl with her hand hovering over the service bell. Her dark brown eyes were impatient.

"Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop?" Robin asked her.

"Don't you know it's against your job description to ignore a customer? I've been hitting this bell for three minutes." the little girl shot back.

Robins lifted her brows high and tossed an unimpressed glance.

"What can I do for you, small child?" she asked dryly.

"I'd like a sample of the new fudge cookie crumble, please."

Robin rolled her eyes, "sure." she muttered, taking up her ice cream scooper from her belt.

"You can make it up to ____ by letting her get an ice cream on you. That should work. You can't burn this new shiny bridge before it even gets built. She knows Tammy, this might be your biggest chance ever. Don't blow it, Robin." Robin's thoughts wandered away as she brought the child her ice cream.

"That took forever," she complained.

Robin's eyes narrowed, "I was spitting in your ice cream." she whispered.

"Ew!" The little girl scowled.

A boy who held a face similar to hers stopped next to her.

"Here, Lucas. Try this one," she said quickly, shoving the ice cream to him and leaving to a pack of girls her age.

The boy, Lucas, seemed confused but shrugged and started to eat it. "This flavor's excellent." he mused. "I'd like to order a double scoop of this."

Robin grinned at Lucas, "coming right up." she sang, proud at her small payback.

[iantimony]

BIG tuesday

i skipped last tuesday because i was working on a take-home exam and simply did not have the time nor the inclination, so: beefy tuesdaypost today!

listening: my brother recommended 'dead magic' by anna von hausswolff and boy what an album. gothic, punchy, very vibey. the kind of album you let wash over you like an ocean wave.

pulled 'mostly kosher' from my to-listen list. fun, funky, very jewish, good vibes. ikh hob dikh tsufil lib

i've continued to mainline borodin symphonies 1 & 2. idk they're just hitting right.

and the new pieces for the orchestra i'm in - very french this time round: debussy's fêtes: kinda spooky and ominous and also fluid in a fun way! lots of buildup that seems to resolve into nothingness. horn parts for this are pretty good, not too difficult but are definitely Heard. chabrier's españa: really bumpin horn parts. fun bouncy motifs. what's not to like.

pocasting-wise, i'm up to partizan 38. 10 episodes left!!! the home stretch!!!!! it's so good but things are definitely amping up in the end-of-fatt-season way.

i've also listened to my friend b's gotham tv show podcast 'jim gordon must die'. very good and funny. i laughed out loud at some of the episode 3 descriptions.

reading: i was stuck in Bad Airport Times this past saturday (flight delayed 3 hours, then sat for an hour on the tarmac, arrived at 10pm when i was originally supposed to arrive at like 630) so i blasted through all ~150k words of 'freefall' by Kunoichi21 and xoTsundoku. bog-standard mafia au, but with a fun little circus arts twist; fun background fengqing; i do not like that they made beefleaf wholesome. give me my toxic beefleaf god damn it. but otherwise it was a fun read, sappy romcom-style. the fic itself isn't quite done but it's in endgame. the author notes have peak fanfic culture energy of "hey guys! sorry i didn't update, i started nursing school and my dad died" bro .... ;___; goddamn. please take care of urselves

watching: we are almost done with kill la kill! last two eps!!! so tonight we're doing that and also watching last week's dunmeshi together.

friend and i finished comrade detective. incredible. no notes. so funny. we started 'endeavour' which is a detective morse prequel thing and goddd the british-isms, and also started serial experiments lain. i don't know what i was expecting but god it was not this. i literally thought this was a cute fun hacker mystery show in the energy of cowboy bebop. it is Not That. not even close. it's good though i'm enjoying it. currently staggering through life going uhhhhh like lain does in the first few eps.

playing: fallow. i am re-installing disco elysium on my computer though. ive been wondering if i should try to keep going on the save file from last year or if i should just start over because i barely got in there at all.

making: many things. pottery!! some good some not as good.

so this design came out SO nice but the underglaze is so gd streaky! i hate it !!! i don't think it's really fixable either, i tried the hairspray trick to put new solid glaze over top the inside so at least that would look less like shit but i could not get it to work. maybe sanding it down? idk. it's ugly. it was supposed to be a bright teal but the woman who runs the studio mixed the batch up wrong so it's like. a really drab gray and not in a fun or intentional way. idk.

some new bisque:

teacups came out! still mismatched but cute nonetheless! gonna do them in a sort of celadon-type color with white flowers to match the teapot that my SO has :)

i don't feel like adding more photos for these lol they're very boring. the pot for my mom came out fine i think. gonna go in with normal white glaze over top to paint in some trees or other botanical designs. i sponged the underglaze on so hopefully the final result won't be streaky. sponged red on my seder plate to hopefully accomplish the same thing. mugs came through the bisque with no issues but i didn't do anything fun with underglaze on one of them so no new pics of that, but the other i did this tree thing again:

i KNOW it'll be streaky as hell. i just know. so i'm considering how i want to do it. perhaps putting some slightly transparent green over the top of it all to meld it together? unsure.

some new stuff: made a citrus juicer, this was attempt number 2 and just barely got it to work, attempt 1 was a total disaster. also made another mug type object, hopefully it'll still be wet enough this weekend to slap a handle on.

two mugs with red clay, i really loved the lascaux mugs that jessica bartram put up for sale last year but i didnt snag one in time so i was like. fuck it. i will make my own. gonna let them dry to leather hard before going in with black underglaze.

i've been trying to draw again but. idk. i just feel very uninspired. i start drawing and it's like :| :| :|

eating: i was on my own food-wise for much of the last week because my roommate was babysitting for the rabbi, so i did not eat nearly as extravagantly as i normally do, LOL. i made a lo mein recipe that was kinda just a stir fry. this could have been my fault because i added a bunch of extra shit like bok choy and mushrooms. i also didn't use the correct type of noodle, and i didnt have oyster sauce so i used worcestershire, etc. many substitutions so it's probably not fair for me to say it was Just Fine. will have to try again at some later date actually following the recipe. herb and radish salad with feta and walnuts: delicious. 10/10. i tossed in some extra arugula and that was also good. and i made the tofu brussel sprouts tahini/hoisin sauce thing again because it's easy and tasty.

misc: visiting my grandma right now ...... entrenched in the ennui .............. spring break ........................

[wonderlandleighleigh]

123 Thoughts while watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 1, episode 3: Because You Left

I l1. God I forgot we start on this flashback.

2. Fuck Joel Maisel, being shitty about Midge’s drink choice. “Yikes. We’ll work on that.” WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY TO ANOTHER PERSON!

3. I have so many thoughts on that one line. That maybe Midge WAS, at one point in her life, just maybe a little sweet, if a little rebellious, and Joel decided he was going to turn her into what he wanted out of a woman.

4. What he thought he wanted out of a woman.

5. And it.

6. Fucking.

7. Backfired.

8. Shoulda married Palmer.

9. He’s so fucking pushy and I hate it.

10. “You belong to Me” is their song. HEY LOOK MORE TERRIBLE CONTROLLING THINGS. Not only is it a little creepy to be like “I don’t know you that well but this is our song now.” But the title alone “You belong To Me” is fucked up.

11. I swear, if they get back together in season 5, I will rip my television off the wall and eat it.

12. “You’re destined for better things than this.” JOEL YOU ARE NOT BETTER THINGS. BETTER THINGS IS NOT YOU.

13. (Better things is Lenny’s dick.)

14. (Sorry, children)

15. I love that Midge helps the other jailbirds with the stains on their shirt. It’s such an unsettling conversation but Midge still wants to help.

16 She’s a naturally helpful person, turns out.

17. LOL Susie talking to Rose and being totally freaked out, and I love it.  Truly. Barely anything scares Susie. But Rose. Rose flips her out. Love it.

18. Rose is a badass and I love it.

19. LENNY BAILED HER OUT LENNY BAILED HER OUT LENNY BAILED HER OUT!

20. “You’re not Susie.”

21. “Nope.”

22. These two idiots. I love them so much I’m gonna cry god dammit.

23. Wearing his jacket. He rushes to open the door for her.

24. Just fucking get married.

25. Susie is having a NIGHT. Between Rose and Lenny. She just. Can’t catch a break tonight.

26. They really did fail at making Lenny look...not hot. Luke Kirby is too handsome.

27. AND THEN HE INVITES HER TO HIS GIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

28. Rose and her grapefruit. Gilmore Girls Richard vibes.

29. “When did Zelda get married?” lol foreshadowing maybe?

30. Oh Rose. Poor Rose. She’s being severe here, but she’s really worried about Midge. As much as she’s failed Midge in other ways (teaching her all of the toxic bod image bullshit forever), she really does try her best to be a good mother. And I think a lot of the time, she does succeed. 

31. TMMM Rose and Lenny scene challenge I WANT IT.

32. I’m not going to get anything on my season 5 bucket list, I’m gonna have to write an entirely alternate season 5.

33. Again.

34. Abe is so clueless in season one. And he cares but he’s so absent. And he pays for it in season 2.

35. Ethan and the staring.

36. Poor Ethan. His dad up and fucks off, his mother is acting like a fucking fruitcake and he’s like four. He has no idea what’s happening. Of course he’s being a weirdo, WE ALL WOULD BE.

37. I do love Imogene, but she is so normcore in season 1.

38. Midge is so short. Imogene is SO SHORT.

39. “I brought it along on our second date. He was surprised.” LOL WE HAVIN BABIES ARCHIE GET USED TO IT.

40. Abe for fuck’s sake.

41. I know Rose and Abe want Midge to be settled and secure. I know. But Joel is not it. He is not it, and at this point even Midge knows that. She loses sight of that a few times, but like. JOEL IS NOT IT.

42. Oh Midge. That is. Too fancy for Kessler’s office.

43. We need more Kessler. GIVE US MORE KESLLER. GIVE US KESSLER DEFENDING LENNY.

44. LOL Susie on Midge’s tits. Just. The best.

45. “If you had just dressed for the meeting.” I love him.

46. Zelda’s notes. “You to be quiet.” I love it. I should start doing that lol.

47. Seconal is a hell of a drug man.

48. And also Rose is so weak-willed in this first season. Like maybe she’s being manipulative here with Abe but. It’s not a good look.

49. Midge is so proper in these early episodes.

50. HORSE FUCKER. lol

51. Midge just. She cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot do it. And you know what? I wouldn’t be able to either. “Little lady.” Fuck that shit.

52. Thank you?

53. This judge is fucking awful.

54. Here we go.

55. Midge. Midge.

56. Aaand arrested again. Girl. Oh girl.

57. Ugh having to go to Joel. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

58. You fucked someone else and left, Dude. She doesn’t fucking trust you enough to tell you. Get used to it.

59. Abe looks...unhappy. To be at Maisel and Roth.

60. The music in this show makes me so happy.

61. Eater Island face lol.

62. One criticism of Moishe I totally agree with is how horrible it was for him to take back the apartment. His grandchildren were growing up in that apartment. Their safety and security should have come first. Not that Midge didn’t have anywhere to take them, Abe and Rose’s place is perfectly fine, and they spend plenty of time in Queens, once the Maisels move, but still. Those kids didn’t desserve to be jerked around that way, no matter how Midge and Joel (mostly Joel) were acting.

63. I never realized even back in the 50′s/60′s you had to pay for temple seats on high holy days. Fuck I’m so glad I never bothered with synagogue as an adult. As if life isn’t expensive enough.

64. Abe’s “My suits are good” shrug makes me happy. I know Tony Shalhoub isn’t Jewish, and as much as I wish they would have found someone who was...he does a good job of playing Abe as a Jewish man.

65. Kevin Pollack is a treasure.

66. THE 13 JEWS.

67. I also love Abe’s tie. It’s nice.

68. “Follow-through has never been in strong suit.” For. Fucking. Real.

69. I mean he came through with the money. That’s. Something.

70. God fuck. Poor Midge eating so much crow. I hate that for her. “After all. I am a woman.” Giiiiirl.

71. Fuck this Judge I hope he steps in dog shit every day forever.

72. UUGUGHGHEUOIERJLEJRLKEJ FUCK

73. Blind leading the blind. “It’s gonna work.”

74. Aw hugs. Gals bein’ pals (or girlfriends.)

75. Look, I can multiship with the best of them.

76. Mrs. Mouskowitz. Love her so much.

77. His plan is moving in with the dumb asshole girl he’s dating.

78. YES THE VANGUARD.

79. Lindsay and the threeeew!

80. AND LENNY! The Jewish and Goyish bit is so good. Listen to the original it’s so good.

81. Instant potatoes: SCARY GOYISH.

82. BOB BYHRE!

83. I love Lenny so much and we didn’t get enough of him in this show. We deserved more Lenny. I deserved more Lenny.

84. The bro vibes between them here are so good. They were always friends first and I just love that.

85. LOL Midge can hang. I love it so much.

86. Lenny is so tickled to be with Midge when she gets high for the first time. It’s adorable.

87. DO WE DO AN ACTIVITY?!

88. I think @theycallme-thejackal once wrote a fic where that activiy was a blowjob.

89. @theycallme-thejackal is the best.

90. Midge doesn’t carry pictures of her kids. I don’t know that my mom ever did either. My dad did I think, in his wallet.

91. AN ACTIVITY.

92. These stoned idiots trying to keep up with Midge good luck.

93. Whoseit’s got a head...the other’s got a...head.

94. Lenny’s genuine laugh there is so good. And he’s laughing at a parenting joke, because he’s probably thinking about Kitty and feeling the EXACT same way. “Are you fucking kidding? I don’t know what I’m doing holy shit!” I love that so much.

95. They’re not gonna get married. But they fucking should. Their connection is so good.

96. And maybe that’s delusional. I just love them.

97. Dear Midge: Some of us are just not moms. Trust me.

98. I want her to find out that Lenny is so boring at home.

99. Are those pretzels??

100. I tried to find the gif of Lenny’s face when she comes over to nom those pretzels and failed. It’s so good though.

101. also the face Lenny gives her when she walks over to sit down? I have been on the receiving end of that face from other people. I know it well. It’s happened.

102.We’re supposed to see the Friar’s Club in season 5. I dunno how that’s gonna go, but. I guess we’ll see.

103. I love Harry Drake. I hope we get a little more of him in season 5.

104. “Just be gentle.” Oh Lenny.

105. INVITED TO THE AFTERHOURS. GO MIDGE.

106. “You need me to be understanding or something?”

107. He’s so nice to her. The real Kitty Bruce has talked about how incredibly sweet her father was, and I love that we see shades of that in the show. He’s got a ton of problems, but there is so much kindness there.

108. And it’s in complete contrast to what we see from Joel in just a minute.

109. He gives her a joint as a lil gift. For later. Shit isn’t cheap. Kindness.

110. “WAIT WAS I SUPPOSED TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU?!” Love it.

111. Good job, Midge. You did good.

112. This flashback was in such a strange place. It felt really disjointed the first time I saw it. But again, it’s an interesting contrast between Lenny doing some light emotional lifting for Midge (The cab, the sympathy over her busted marriage, the joint, the parting joke to make her laugh) and Joel (letting Midge take care of him as usual).

113. Midge rollin’ up in the middle of the night, still a little buzzed. To this asshole.

114. And she liiiieeeesssss yessssss. Lie to him. He doesn’t deserve to know you got high with Lenny Bruce.

115. I’ve said this before. His “I don’t care what you needed the money for” is such crap. You SHOULD care. If you care about her, WHY DON’T YOU CARE?! Is it because you trust her? Or because you only care about yourself? I can’t tell.

116. “I’m thinking of giving it another go.” No sorry. No nothing. Just expecting to be let back into her life. Fuck’s sake.

117. Oh Abe.

118. Good for Midge telling him no. Because he fucked up and he’s not even fucking sorry. HE IS NOT SORRY! And she knows it. And he left.

119. Look at this piece of shit run away. Just. Not even an argument. Not even trying to change her mind. Just shakes his head and walks off like that piece of garbage he truly is.

120. Maybe that’s harsh. But he didn’t even try. Because he’s not sorry. He just wants to live comfortably again. He doesn’t care that he hurt her.

121. HE DOES NOT CARE THAT HE HURT MIDGE. Anyone who actually cared would not act like this.

122. And Abe finally understands just how terribly hurt Midge is. Though I’m not sure if that look on his face is because he’s hurting for her, or because his ploy to get them back together failed. Maybe both.

123. I love this episode. It is an al-time favorite. It establishes Midge and Lenny as friends with a new, but solid bond. It has some great Susie moments, and a great Midge set. Great stuff with Abe and Rose and Abe and Moishe. It’s so solid. I think it might be my favorite season 1 episode. <3

[bi-turtle-enthusiast]

Thanks for answering my ask. Can I ask (again), if you don't mind, your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from TGCF & SVSSS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments each from the series? Thanks if you want to answer....

ough ok this is gonna be hard bc i unironically love every character in tgcf for one reason or another.

top 3 tgcf characters:

3. Shi Qingxuan/Jun Wu I did NOT expect Jun Wu to be on this list but I started writing my fic and I kind of fell in love with his character. He's an awful person who loves causing misery but at the same time there's something so painfully human about wanting so desperately to be understood by someone, anyone. I don't condone his actions but I'm here to watch. I love Shi Qingxuan for being genderfluid, brave and kind, and just so much fun. She brings unmatched energy into every scene she's in and I just love her.

2. Hua Cheng This one should be pretty obvious considering I made him my pfp on my art blog and refuse to stfu about him but god DAMN I just can't stop thinking about him. I love everything about him. His amazing fits. His incredibly powerful imagery. The way he's just so insane. His butterflies. The color red. The gender. Everything.

1. Xie Lian He's the one I draw the most for a reason. I have a thing for characters who choose kindness whenever they can, and I love Xie Lian for being able to ultimately decide that he does in fact want to use his godly powers to protect his believers and not to dominate them. He doesn't make that decision lightly—he knows what it's like to abuse his power for the sake of vengeance and he's seen what it's like when gods abuse their power for greed—he decides that being kind and benevolent is the path he wants to take because ultimately, it's love that keeps the world intact. Xie Lian is love, and I love him.

Honorable mentions: Mu Qing, Shi Wudu, He Xuan, Yushi Huang

top 3 svsss characters (bear with me because I am not super familiar with SVSSS)

3. Shang Qinghua I want to throw him against a wall (affectionate). I hate him. I love him but on a deeper level I hate him but on an even deeper level I love him. Just,, such a little shit

2. Zhuzi Lang He's a pathetic little meow meow with a fucked up sense of morality and objectively too many snakes. Someone get this guy a therapist and maybe a snack

1. Liu Qingge He's a hater through and through. I, too, find Bingqiu irritating. His "no Luo Binghes allowed" rule is perfection imo. And the way Shen Qingqiu can just call out his name and Liu Qingge will come out of literally nowhere with a flying kick?? Love that.

I honestly can't rank my top 3 moments from SVSSS because I don't remember it that well. Here are mine from TGCF though!

3. Jealous Xie Lian during the Blackwater arc Hua Cheng is like "my beloved is a noble, gracious special someone" and Xie Lian is like "ugh i hope they fucking die I MEAN I HOPE YOU THEY MAKE YOU SMILE." We don't really see jealous Xie Lian that often and it was really funny to see just how petty he got. He's usually really calm and collected and neutral about things but he was so intense here. Possibly because he was a bit hangry.

2. The Hualian confession Everything about it is just. hrmnksgnsf. I love it. I love the way they're kinda awkward after it but then they clear the air a bit and continue onwards while holding hands. I love the way Xie Lian confesses with a hug.

1. The bamboo hat/Xie Lian telling Bai Wuxiang to fuck off The moment where Xie Lian's faith in humanity is restored. And then Bai Wuxiang appears and tries to be all evil and Xie Lian just goes "fuck off you ugly mf you're blocking my sun" to the guy who's been haunting him nonstop for months on end. And Bai Wuxiang is so stunned that he gets a little desperate—so desperate that he starts a fight just so he can have an excuse to be "defeated" by Jun Wu. Man, I love that scene.

[madaboutmunson]

Again - Part 15

Part 1 | Part 14 | Part 16 | Full list of Again series links

Steddie fic where Steve and Eddie are in their mid 30's and everyone has sort of drifted apart

Notes: This part was originally twice this size, but I found a good point to split it, so maybe the Easter Bunny will bring you an extra treat tomorrow readers :)

Taglist: @adaed5 @grtwdsmwhr @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mightbeasleep, @jewellthebooknerd, @fentiibratzz

================================================

That night Steve dreams.

 Not nightmares, not something he will forget when he wakes, not a troubling memory. 

He dreams. 

It's weird, vibrant and makes no sense, but when he rouses, he smiles before he even opens his eyes. As suspected, his one arm is in-between numbness and pins and needles, but to his delight, he can still feel Eddie's warmth against it. He can also feel that the covers have been thrown off, probably due to the heat generated between them snuggled up in the heat of a summer night. Though he notes they aren't exactly as they were, Eddie is further away. No longer against Steve's chest but still in his arms. His hands are not in their homes, but he wonders if he can snuggle over there and put them back where they belong. He wishes he could bottle that moment from last night, when things felt right, when everything just fell into place, when a flurry of memories returned to him, and get drunk on it forever. He dares to open one eye to see if a replay is on the cards, but the first thing he sees is Eddie looking right back at him. 

"Mornin' Handsome," Eddie says quietly before brushing some hair from Steve's eyes and tucking it behind his ear. He should feel disappointed, right? Eddie, thwarting his plans like this, but somehow this was even better. It makes Steve feel unusual. Steve should hate this, feeling vulnerable, soft and small. And under any other circumstances, he would, but he relishes it rightly or wrongly under Eddie's hand. "Sleep, ok?" Steve sleepily nods in reply, wondering how long Eddie has been watching him, and sends him a dopey smile before the throbbing in his head starts. He sucks in a breath and raises his hand to his eye in pain, "Ah, there it is, hangover kicking in now? Right?" Eddie chuckles and then raises a hand to his own head, making them both laugh more, pulling pained groans from them.

"Once I regain some feeling in my arm. I can make us some coffee and breakfast. That ok, or do you have plans?" Steve says quietly, trying to flex his fingers to get the feeling flowing to them again.

"No plans, and even if I did have some, I don't have them now. So consider them cancelled" He smirks and then suddenly arches his body away from the mattress, "Hey! Stop that", Eddie giggles. It takes a moment to register what has happened.

"Oh my god! Are you still ticklish?" Steve exclaims, immediately regretting his loudness.

"No!" Eddie defends unconvincingly.

"Oh, so if you aren't ticklish, you won't mind if I do this then?" Steve quickly brushes his fingertips against Eddie's ribs and sides, trying to find where the spot was, and soon Eddie is trying to wriggle away, in-between fits of laughter.

The way Eddie moves under his fingers teamed with how his face is all scrunched up in laughter and annoyance, makes Steve's brain do that channel flip thing, but this time it's a rapid repeated switch back and forth. One channel is now, the other, Eddie has his long hair, and it's dark where they are, but Steve just about makes out the bedding. It's his own old room. The fact that this has happened before urges Steve on, almost like he's trying to draw out more memories through it. With this new revelation, a new set of questions fall into Steve's mind. So far, he'd only really remembered them at Eddie's place or the food truck, and although he doesn't remember heaps, the feelings he gets when his mind sends him back to The Munson's trailer are of belonging and homely. Why would they have been in his shell of a house? Were they just giving Wayne a break? Nothing could have happened before. Eddie had said last night that was their first kiss, but that memory feels…dangerous? Maybe something almost happened? 

"OK, OK! Thats enough! You should stop before I make you stop!" Eddie says, giggling, trying to catch his breath and as his attempt to escape is intercepted, he falls back down onto the bed, and Steve's tickling becomes merciless as he looms over him from the side.  Looking down on Eddie like this, laughter spilling out of him, his dimples deeply puncturing his cheeks as the corners of his eyes crease, Steve feels alive. He hasn't felt this sort of playfulness in such a long time, not since the kids were little, and in response, Steve is laughing back despite the pain. Not in that reserved way he usually does. It's free from any rules or responsibilities. Steve pauses briefly to allow Eddie to catch his breath, but as soon as he does, Steve starts again. If you keep going, maybe something else will come back. But all he can see is the channel flip between two slightly different-looking Eddies reacting nearly the same way.

"Make me," he sasses back at Eddie, who is now gasping for air between laughs and squirms.  For a second, Steve feels like he should relent. He's had his fun, but before he can make that decision, Eddie sits up rapidly and kisses him, causing the tickle machine to completely short-circuit and become a puddle of a person. Ho-ly shit, that felt amazing. He blinks himself back into his body and says with a laugh, "Well, that'll do it". He sits back on his heels, his hands gently rendered still by Eddie's sneak attack. Eddie sits up precisely the same way in his memory, but it results in an accidental head butt, making Steve smile broadly. Thank you, Eddie. He could feel how badly he'd wanted that moment to have been what just happened now. He blinks slowly at Eddie in a haze. Last night was their first kiss, but maybe it wasn't the first attempt at one.

"I guess on the surprise kiss front, that makes us even, Steven," Eddie smirks up at him from his relaxed pose of leaning back on his elbows, looking up at him. His already deeply rich eyes are made darker still by his dilated pupils, and something about his stare and the memory makes Steve want to say something. Something you shouldn't say after one date, or one sleepover or behind a food truck. Something that Steve's brain knows is too much, but his heart screams it over and over. Corey was right. He had lost his mind over someone. To save himself and the fragile new thing they have, he looks away, slides off his side of the bed, and opens the drawer to find a fresh t-shirt to head downstairs in when he feels something hit his back. He turns around and picks up Eddie's t-shirt from last night on the floor.

"The sooner you get a tee on, the sooner I get my coffee and pancakes, right?" Eddie says, his eyes trailing over Steve before he tucks his bottom lip into his mouth. Steve holds up the t-shirt in his hand, and Eddie nods at him. Steve opens up the shirt and takes a look at it. Slayer. He rolls his eyes and puts it on. He already knew it would be a tight fight because of the size difference these days, but his insecurity is short-lived because the way Eddie looks at him when Steve gives him a twirl once it's on makes it worth it. "Mmhmm, you can keep that one, I think. Looks good on you." he roughly rasps.

"Thanks," he replies, maybe a little too quickly, because he needs to focus on breakfast and not swoon over the way he's being observed right now, and his eyes drop to the lower t-shirt hem he's trying to fight to be a little longer but it just springs back up partially exposing the soft, squishy, roundness of his tummy "Anyway I didn't say breakfast was gonna be pancakes," Steve says in a confused realisation.

Eddie cheekily smiles at him, and feline-like stretches fully out on the large bed with a wriggle before putting his hands behind his head, and Steve can't stop his eyes from tracing over his entire form. He was glorious to behold. "But it's gonna be pancakes now, right, babe?" He says with an innocent pout and that all-too-familiar batting of eyelashes. Steve had automatically been trying to recall a recipe for pancakes since Eddie first said the word, but he has to at least pretend to make a stand.

"Ok, pancakes. One time. This," Steve puts one hand on his hip, the other he points a finger and circles over Eddie,” won't work on me forever, you know", and he walks out towards the stairs.

"You keep telling yourself that, sugar!" Eddie shouts after him, immediately followed by a groan of pain, making Steve smile and shake his head.

Sometime later, when the last two pancakes are cooking in the pan, Steve hears the thunder of Eddie rushing down the stairs and into the kitchen before he bumps straight into the back of him, arms shooting around his waist, hands stroking gently at his torso and his chin resting on his shoulder, observing, "Want me to set the table?" Eddie asks, pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek with a loud smacking sound, but it is quickly followed up with a much softer one that attacks Steve’s central system with a roundhouse kick so hard it makes Steve think he might be making pancakes for breakfast for the rest of his life.

"Do you remember where everything is?" Steve says, surprised, once the English language comes back to him.

"Maybe, we'll find out, I guess." Eddie squeezes him and begins opening the cupboards until he finds the plates, cutlery, glasses, cups and painkillers.

"Almost had it", Steve smiles, putting the pancakes between them. A quick glance over, and Steve can see that Eddie has opted for no shirt at the breakfast table, which really should raise a complaint from Steve, but weirdly he can't think of a single good reason why Eddie should be dressed at the table.

"No way, man. These are all the things we used last time. I'm sure it is." Eddie says, his brow slightly creasing in frustration.

"Well, in fairness, I didn't tell you, but when guests aren't here, we don't use these", Steve points at the identical-looking mugs.

"So what do we use?" Eddie asks curiously.

"More personal ones." Steve pulls out his mug with the two little hand prints on. "I hope you don't mind. I got you one for here. It's just a placeholder until you get your own," he says modestly.

"Hmmm, let me see it," Eddie says pleasantly, with a hint of excitement.

Steve pulls out a simple white mug, and the text printed in big block letters says, Don't ask me. I'm new here and hands it over to Eddie. He reads it aloud, smiles hugely, and looks up at him, "Thank you", he says softly. I love you, Steve’s brain replies. The rest of Steve is quickly scanning Eddie’s face to ensure he hasn't spoken it aloud, and luckily it appears it was just a thought. Come on, Steve, just be normal and keep it together.

"I was a bit worried it was too soon, you know, but whatever happens, you aren't just a guest in my home. You're more than that, you know?" Steve tries to explain to remove any pressure that might be implied by the gift. After all, he had purchased it before they had kissed, and Eddie was smart enough to work that out.

"I wish you wouldn't worry so much. It's a mug, babe, and it's a cute gesture." Eddie puts the mug on the table and turns it around so the text faces him. "The things you do for me make me feel good, ok? I don't wanna keep dragging up the past, but I just want you to know I was never scared of you. I was scared of the world outside of us, how they'd see us. How they'd treat us. But that's different now." He smiles and looks reassuringly at Steve, " So, If you feel like doing something for me, do it. If you feel like throwing your arms around me, absolutely do. If I'm bent over, and you wanna give my ass a smack, go for it. If you want me, then pull me to you. If you want to say something to me, say it. If you want to ask me something, ask me." As Eddie lists situations, his hands gesture between the two of them like he's winding an invisible thread, pulling Steve in closer with each one, "I meant what I said last night in the restaurant. I know I'd had a few, but I'm not running this time. I promise." Eddie searches Steve's eyes with a gentle smile, "I know what I did was wrong, but if I hadn't, you wouldn't have your family. We wouldn't be where we are now. What I'm trying to say is none of these things are too soon or scary to me. If anything, they are way overdue, and I gotta tell you the fees are sky high!" he leans over the table and talks behind the back of his hand to Steve, "Nothin' a little negotiation couldn't work around though" He winks at Steve with a big smile, weaving his comforting magic with his humour. How did I get this lucky? Steve muses.

"I'll start the proceedings, shall I?" Eddie says, leaning back in his chair as Steve brings the coffee pot over.

“Proceedings?” Steve laughs, “What do you mean?”

“Well, Steve, if memory serves, unless a lot has changed, I recall that we are both creatures that enjoy words of affirmation. I find that fairly easy, and maybe that’ll get you to loosen up a little, you know, not be so worried about doing nice things?” Eddie says, rocking on the chair's back legs, one hand at the back of his neck, elbow pointed out to the side as his eyes repeatedly move over Steve.

“Look, it’s fine; I’ll get used to it, just you know. I’m a bit rusty and nervous, that's all,” Steve laughs, a little embarrassed that Eddie had to remind him what being in a relationship was like.

“Wrong. The man that shot across that table to kiss me and reassured me in his hands, is not rusty. The man that made me leave my corporeal form, then danced with me and held me close all night, is not nervous.” Eddie says, eyebrows bunched together and raised in compassion, “He just lacks confidence, and he has no business having no confidence. He’s beautiful, charming, intelligent, funny, a full-blown adult who runs his own home and business, he’s a great dad, and did I mention how fuckin’ smokin’ hot he is?” Eddie counts his statements by raising his fingers on his free hand and starting over when he runs out, but his eyes are on Steve the entire time, looking at him, looking in him and through him. Steve looks away bashfully for a second and then focuses back on Eddie.

“Well, thank you. That's very kind of you to say. You are also-” Steve starts to say before Eddie interrupts him.

 "Ah-ah-ah, Steve.” Eddie wags a finger at Steve. “That was not my compliment for you. Generalised ones are for wimps. I was merely laying the groundwork, reminding you of things you've probably been told before that you, from that look, I’m guessing you've talked yourself out of believing already. So this is your compliment” Eddie smiles over at him and takes a deep breath, “You look sexy as hell in my t-shirt. I don't know if it's a territory thing or because your body is outta this world, but it's working for me."

"You think my body I'd outta this world?" Steve says with a laugh.

"Yes! I do! It's yours, and that makes it incredibly spectacular to me. Also, if you insult my boyfriend one more time with your little comments, I'm gonna have to beat your ass, ok? And not in a good way. Also, yes, I've said it, boyfriend. You are my boyfriend unless you have any objections?" Eddie enthuses, making Steve laugh.

"No objections", Steve smiles, pouring Eddie's coffee and then his own. There is a small silence, and Steve thinks about upstairs and everything Eddie has just said. "You know earlier when you kissed me and were laid back on the bed?"

"Uh-huh," Eddie encourages with a smile on his face.

"You looked so, like, happy, and it was beautiful, and I was kinda slowly coming back down to earth, you know, after you mouth ambushed me, and I felt like…" Steve trails off, a little unsure. Eddie stops eating and sends a sultry smile over to Steve.

"...and you felt like what" he purrs softly, and Steve gets pulled into his hypnotic eyes again and reaches across the table to hold Eddie's hands. It feels like time slows down. Steve knows that once he says the next thing, he can't take it back. He's afraid of history repeating itself, but Eddie had just told him it wasn't what Steve said that made him run. However, Steve tries to take in as many small details as possible in case it does. The way Eddie's fingertips are slightly rougher on one hand than the other. This early in the morning, his top lip is fuller than average. That one curl at the side that rebels against the rest. The curve that glides effortlessly from his shoulder up his neck when he tilts his head quizzically like this. Until a squeeze of his hand speeds time back up again. His eyes snap to Eddie's again, and he lets out a slow, quiet breath to calm himself.

"I felt like telling you how much I love you," Steve says with a hard gulp. Eddie's eyebrows push together at the centre of his brow, and Steve feels his hands tremble within his own. Fuck this is clearly not what Eddie was expecting him to say. Goddamn it, Steve, can't you keep your lunacy to yourself?

"You love me?" He repeats back so very quietly in disbelief that if it wasn’t for the deafening silence they were sitting in, Steve might not have even heard it. His eyes move around like they are analysing Steve for lies, or maybe this is a joke.

"I know it sounds dumb, but it's all I wanna tell you over and over, Eddie, and it's stupid because I don't know this new you, and you don't know me totally either, but that's how I feel. That's the truth. It feels like the words are constantly on the tip of my tongue or like they're branded under my skin, trying to burn their way out. I look at you, and that's the first phrase that comes into my head. I don't need you to say it back. I just wanted to be honest," Steve doubles down nervously.

"After what I did?" Eddie asks, his voice cracking a little as he speaks.

"I care about you. I don't care about what you did 15 years ago when you were afraid. But, like outside looking in, with just a list of facts, I know my feelings don't add up. Honestly, I'd be concerned if someone told me they felt like this so quickly." Steve laughs a little, he knows it all must sound so weird, but he is desperate for Eddie to understand. 

Steve realises that if he was a better human being, he might be more cautious. Perhaps he'd think about some of the things Eddie had done and how they affected people like Alice, but honestly, the fate of a stranger did not compare to Eddie. It did not compare to having this colossal love back in his life. It was selfish. He knows that, but he can't help himself. "You left, and yeah, I wallowed, distracted myself, and put my love into something else because it had to go somewhere. I did and do love, Jenny. I'm not negating that in any way. I just don't know how to explain it. This is so different. It's like it's been waiting this whole time, and it feels so urgent." Steve releases Eddie's hands and gestures between them both. Eddie shifts awkwardly in his seat, pushing around the silverware next to his plate.

"Objectively, I would think you're insane. If you told me this about someone you were dating, I'd definitely be telling you to slow down," Eddie quietly and carefully speaks, as Steve smiles back, trying to hide his disappointment. He knew it was too soon to say. He didn't need Eddie to say it back. He just wanted to be able to say it without the worry of it scaring him. Eddie's brow creases in a sort of anguished look, and Steve braces himself for rejection. "But I can't look at this objectively, Steve. I can't do that because even though I tried, even when I was in the rapture of infatuation with other people. I never forgot you. Even though I knew there was no chance of us being together, you're the only person I've ever loved that loved me back. And since the day I found that out, I didn't have a heart to give to anyone else. It's always been yours, Steve. But I don't feel like I deserve to love or be loved by you after what I did to you." Steve just stares at him for a moment, it's not what he had expected Eddie to say in the sobering lights of the morning, but now he has that small hope. Steve is eager to protect it and reassure him.

"I don't have to say it ever again if it makes you uncomfortable. I just want you to know that I do. I don't need to tell you how you went about some things wrong, Eddie. You know that. I don't need to keep reminding you of it. I feel like this, knowing all of that. Christ, I don't know what you'd have to do to make me not feel this way. I don't even want to think about it" He says it as a light-hearted joke, but he had thought about how when that paper mache dragon head was removed, all that pain vanished like he could forgive him almost anything to have him back.

"I just need a little time, that's all. I do feel like that about you, but saying it…I don't want it to be said without sincerity, and right now, I don't think someone like me should be allowed to love someone like you. I've been so twisted, cruel and bitter, and you're so…well…perfect. But I swear, Steve, you don't have to doubt how I feel about you, not for a second, not ever." Eddie says, and Steve can see that he's trying his best.

"Maybe if the words are hard, you can just show me? Like that list you gave earlier," Steve clutches at all the tiny fragments of this thing, trying to piece it together and smiles encouragingly. He knows it all fits perfectly. He just can't figure out how to show Eddie it will work quickly enough. Finally, Eddie's eyes raise to his with a huff of a laugh.

"What anytime I like? Are you sure about that?" A smile starts to form on one side of Eddie's mouth as his eyes glance between the table and Steve.

"Never been more sure about something. Maybe keep it PG in front of the kids, though?" Steve laughs, and it's working. His smile widens. It's not long before Eddie pulls him out of his seat and into his lap. "What are you doing?" Steve chuckles but puts up no resistance.

"Showing you", Eddie smiles, feeding Steve some syrup-soaked pancake with one hand whilst the other is wrapped around him. Steve goes to wipe the bit of syrup that escapes the corner of his mouth, but Eddie is already kissing it off him, making Steve blush, and in turn, Eddie chuckles lowly, "Oh yeah, now this. This I could get used to this"

[watercolor-hearts]

hey v, just wanted to ask if you were ok/better after yesterday bc today i have seen some of the george hate and i have lost braincells 💀

🥺❤ Hi dear, thank you for asking. ❤

I try to be okay because I have a lot of uni homework to do (it's insane that we get like 3-4 drawings to make for next week's lesson or for the one two weeks later... I have almost zero free time and it makes me sad because I want to write and there are prompts and own ideas waiting for me...) and they kinda help me not to think about what happened but yeah, I saw some not so nice comments, even though I try really hard not to open any comment sections or anything.

Sadly Facebookon keeps recommending me F1 groups (I wish I knew how to stop it) and there was a post in one of them about George's post race interview and the poster wrote that it looks like George cried or was about to cry and someone commented that what makes a difference between men and boys is that men don't cry. And it made me fucking angry because 1.) it's a fucking stupid thing to say, 2.) one of the things I really like about George is that how emotional he is. (And then I wanted to cry but it's not new, for some reason I always find a reason to feel like I want to cry... Maybe stress relief or I don't know. 🤦🏻‍♀️ (And maybe the Carlos hate added a bit to it but I don't even want to mention it because I could write a fucking essay on it...))

And also, the usual comments that for George his result is more important than the team result, he's selfish, he's shit etc. etc.

I'm a bit tired because this is/was hell of an emotional rollercoaster. In one minute I'm happy and I'm smiling while watching videos of Carlos (and Lando) and then fucking Facebook or Tumblr recommends me a George (or Carlos) hate post and there goes my mood. It's so difficult to be happy for Carlos (I am!) and sad for George at the same time. They're the two people I can't decide between if there's a question of which one of them I like more, so right now I don't really know what to do with my emotions.

To be honest I just wanna read some good comfort fics, especially with George. 🥺❤ (And I've found one, and it was truly amazing. And there are some Carlando and Charlos ones waiting on my marked for later list as well but I don't know when I'll read them because I should work on my homework for tomorrow...)

Anyway, thank you so much again for checking on me, it means a lot. ❤ It's not easy to be a George fan, especially when something like this happens. But this is racing, this is life, and I should now shut up (because I talk a lot and I don't want to repeat the same things over and over again (I tend to) just because I'm hurt and it's unusual for me to have people care about me enough to ask how I am and make me want to tell everything because what if it's my only chance... 🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh god, this sounds so stupid...).

Have a nice day/night, Nyx. ❤

[omegatheunknown]

Top 10 of 2023 -- Theatrical Releases

Started using letterboxd as a journal two years ago, mostly so I could remember just how recently I'd watched Big Trouble in Little China or Hot Fuzz, but also to hit 'em with of the moment reviews and ratings fresh from the theatre. Which is to say, I'm a little nervous to see what'll come up at the top, but let's take a trip.

10- The Boogeyman (**1/2) - Technically in theatres for a week or two. Buried otherwise, a low stakes King adaptation/remake/reboot that makes the list so I don't have to say anything about AntMan, Elemental, Renfield, or, god forbid, Mario. Effective horror, kind of a neat creature at the center of it, pleasantly surprised that I didn't hate it.

9- Asteroid City (***) - Did lead to a minor personal epiphany, so not all bad. The amount of meta-fictional artifice (lest we for a second want to empathize or consider Wes' paper doll characters in his paper doll theatre as being recognizably human) has gone well-beyond the 'as Royal Tenenbaum' and 'let me tell you about my boat,' past the authorial frame of the Grand Budapest and as of The French Dispatch, Mssr Anderson is now almost entirely preoccupied with stories within stories and it is actually very annoying. (The minor epiphany is that I have also been doing this, as metafiction delights me too, Wes, but why should anyone else care?) Anyway, highlight here is the usual meticulous design, the ridiculous stop-motion sequence, some crackerjack dialogue (muted because now every character has the same blunted affect and without subtitles I sorta glazed over in parts) and these movies remain quite funny.

8- Barbie (***1/2) - Watched a lot of pablum this year, most of it with very naked corporate ambition. Barbie's central trick is to critique itself and the very cynical context in which it critiques itself and hopefully contain within it the entire discourse (good luck to you.) Wish I hadn't had to listen to people earnestly tell me how brilliant and resonant certain 'pause for applause' moments were, but the humour may well stand the test of time, and people were rightly hyped on Ryan Gosling's over-delivery on what once was seen as an unlikely bit of casting.

7- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 (***1/2) - Not too proud to admit I was, in 2023, still kind of excited to see this one (1) marvel movie. Crisp Rat aside, the Guardians deliver best on the comic-to-screen vibe and rarely seem embarrassed with their source, leading to the intense emotional journey of a CGI mutant raccoon bounty hunter reckoning with his maker, no winking involved. Rocket Raccoon is my fucking guy, anyway, no more of these, please and thanks.

6- Dungeons and Dragons, Honor Among Thieves (***1/2) - Yeah, okay, more popcorn flick pablum. Hasbro hoping to further capitalize on the pop culture rise of and monetize and micro-transaction-atize and thereby enshitiffy one of my dearest hobbies (I am diversifying away from D&D TM) looming large in the background here, given the whole OGL blowback it was briefly reasonable large portions of diehards might boycott this thing. Anyway, saw it, liked it, succeeded wildly in the goal of effectively conveying what it's actually like to play a fantasy ttrpg, all the weird in-jokes, wild variations in tone, hand-waving and quirks of 'the rules' there for snorts of recognition. Cannot imagine this was much fun for non-players, but maybe.

5- Across the Spider-Verse (****) - Extremely hyped, but hopefully not the zenith of the trilogy, a lot is riding on part 3, which is thankfully due, uhhh, sometime next year? Dragged out its ending laying more groundwork, but before then, another ceiling breaking exercise in contemporary animation, an almost non-stop kinetic kaleidoscope of visual creativity that augurs well for animation's continued evolution.

4- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in Mutant Mayhem (****) - Speaking of. Now, I've loved the Turtles since I was 4 years old, so my personal belief has always been, even though I love the 1990 rubber-suited cash grab, that the central premise is something that in the right hands can actually be objectively good, as opposed to personally delightful to me. This is that movie, the good Ninja Turtles movie. 'Teenage' -- to the point of being endearingly, obnoxiously immature, 'Mutant' -- to the point that the world around them is just as grody and fucked up looking as they are, 'Ninja' -- with sly handheld camera angles and satisfyingly fluid motion to rival Spiderverse, and uh, 'Turtles' -- they sure fucking are. I loved this. Jackie Chan forever.More, please.

3- Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (****) - Exceedingly Quebecois take on the contemporary hipster vampire movie, Can-con for my list. Canadian Indies in 2023 are strikingly similar to American Indies from 2008, if that at all recommends. Ranks high for efficient self-contained everything, very charming, funny, just bizarre enough.

2- The Boy and the Heron (****1/2) - Easy to feel like this is a Ghibli greatest hits compilation, easier to remember that's what we all kinda want-- cute and unsettling creatures, delicious looking food, spirit worlds, quiet moments of reflection, arcane rules for how any and everything works... yet also maybe the truest return to the titanic achievements of Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away (especially.) Story forms a suitably esoteric thesis about grief and creation and, ultimately, endings. I think Miyazaki might actually be done this time.

1- Godzilla Minus One (*****) - An entirely different movie than Shin Godzilla, very possibly even better. It's tense (Godzilla hasn't felt creepy like this for a while.) It's emotional (rivals Godzilla vs Biollante in its human story.) It's very naked in its message (ah, the guilt.) The action is superb. I do not know where Godzilla goes from here. (Mothra!)

(Haven’t seen: Poor Things, Bottoms, Napoleon, the Killer, a bunch of other crap.)

[astorytotellyourfriends]

annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2022.

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self-evaluation

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

as per usual that list is too long for this post so here's my 2022 fic roundup

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i'm honestly proud of everything i wrote this year so this is fucking impossible!!! i guess if i HAD to pick from jatp, i'd pick coping because it was SUCH a massive project and i'm really, really fucking happy that i a. finished it and b. it was everything i wanted it to be. as for stranger things, if i had to limit myself to picking from my completed works then i'd go with both alike in dignity because idk it felt a little out of the box already even tho it was only my third hellcheer fic!

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

i really hate this question because as i said before I'M PROUD OF EVERYTHING but if i had to go with a "least best" then i guess braiding my boyfriend's hair (boyfriend reveal!) because i definitely struggled with writing this and i think that's why i haven't returned to this verse since. i do want to go back to it bc i do have more ideas, but writing the filming of youtube videos is fucking impossible good lord.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

when i first started writing if we don't leave this town (we might never make it out), i knew i wanted to have a scene where Eddie had his who did this to you moment and oh MAN it turned out even better than i could've hoped:

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

basically every comment on chapter 9 of love is just a currency was in this same vein and i love every single one of them.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

when i got fuckin' covid back in april. just EXISTING was hard then.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

honestly the fact that i fell so goddamn hard for hellcheer really surprised me because i've been watching stranger things since it started and never gave a DAMN about fic until that stupid metalhead was sweet to the cute cheerleader.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i guess maybe somehow figuring out how to balance several wips at once? it surprises me every goddamn day!

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i mean, i said last year that i wanted to try some different genres and i think i sort of did that with just try your best (not to get hurt) but i'd really like to push that boundary a little more!

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i've met so many wonderful people in the hellcheer community who are so loving and supportive and i'm so, so thankful for all of them 💛

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

i mean. most of the time when i'm writing Eddie, i feel like i'm just writing a male version of me, so. yeah..

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i have no new wisdom. only old wisdom: don't compare yourself to other people, it'll only end in pain and frustration. just keep doing what you're doing, try new things, and your writing will grow and improve and you'll be much happier for it.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

GOD I HAVE SO MANY!!! i have SO many ideas that are period pieces and i'm just ITCHING to get to start them!!! but first, i must finish my wips. my poor wips.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

hi if you've made it this far, you're tagged. love you.

[kkoraki]

Top 10+, Bottom 4+, & Wackiest Books of 2022

Out of the 80+ books I read in 2022, the following distinguished themselves in special ways.

I am only including new reads, not rereads. I put the little kneejerk blurb/reaction I wrote immediately after finishing the book below it. If I had extra thoughts on a book while making this list I put that in a second paragraph or in [square brackets].

If you have read any of these I would love to hear your thoughts. If you haven’t read any of these but have questions or opinions, have at it.

Top 10!

I read so many books I liked this year that it was hard narrowing these down. This ended up being more of a top 15+. The top 10 are listed in chronological order of when I read them.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle - Barbara Kingsolver 

I think I want to buy this one! Entertaining, informative, and she’s a great writer (...I need to read some of her actual books). The story of a family only eating local for 1 year while living on an Appalachian farm. Loved it. (02/22)

Soul Lanterns - Shaw Kuzki

Really beautiful children’s chapter book about the lasting effects of the atom bomb in Hiroshima (but not tragedy p/orn). This is a book I want to read to my kids. It made me tear up. (03/22)

Zora Neale Hurston (Tell My Horse; Every Tongue Got To Confess; Their Eyes Were Watching God)

TEWWG: I LOVE the way this woman writes. Wow. (03/22)

TMH: I loved her novel but I almost feel she shines even more when relating anecdotes & folk practices. Beauty incomparable. (03/22)

ETGTC: Hurston is wonderful at capturing the way different people sound. Not because of funetik aksent - it’s the rhythm and word choice. (04/22)

My Favorite Thing is Monsters - Emil Ferris

INTENSE, pretty fucked up graphic novel - all drawn in ballpoint pen! - about a girl in Chicago in the 6s, her Casanova artist brother, her weird neighbors & classmates, & her Holocaust survivor upstairs neighbor with a FUCKED UP backstory who gets murdered. Also the girl loves monsters (obviously). Ends on a total cliffhanger. (04/22)

Stephen Graham Jones (The Only Good Indians; Mongrels; My Heart Is a Chainsaw) 

TOGI: GOOD STUFF. That great Alien-style horror where it starts out with awful scary suspense, people start to die, then it ends all action-movie. I will say the ending was almost too nice and pat but that is such a minor complaint. It’s about 4 Blackfeet men who illegally hunted elk when they were younger, and the repercussions 10 years later. (06/22)

Mongrels: Really baller book about werewolves. Kickass worldbuilding & storytelling. Great stuff. (07/22)

MHIAC: BEST BOOK OF HIS YET. Dude! More people need to be wiling to write feral sad fucked up female protagonists like this one! The ending definitely felt like a slasher homage so it wasn’t as fulfilling as I would’ve wanted, but I think that was a genre constraint. This should get adapted into a movie. (08/22)

CW (character spoiler so rot13): pfn onpxfgbel erirny sbe n znwbe punenpgre

The Tiger & the Wolf - Adrian Tchaikovsky

omg Adrian Tchaikovsky strikes again! This book is a 10/10, what Kiesha’ra would be if it weren’t trash [IYKYK]. I loved both protagonists & the supporting cast development was stellar. It did feel like a parent reveal was being set up for 1 character that didn’t end up playing out but maybe I just read it wrong. Good stuff. (07/22)

Ancillary Justice, Sword, & Mercy - Ann Leckie

Can’t believe I waited so long to read these... they 100% lived up to the hype. Sword + Mercy felt like bonuses/unnecessary but I liked that. This is how to do great SF! (09/22)

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

ANOTHER one that WAY lived up to the hype! The characters were so real in this. Loved the family relationships. Amazing book, in my top 10 for sure. [and it was! lol] (09/22)

Jesse Bullington - (The Folly of the World; A Crown For Cold Silver)

TFOTW: Amazing book, this guy has wack ideas and can really write! Loved how dark and clever it was. (10/22)

I was pressed for time and didn’t do a whole summary in my initial note but the publisher’s summary does TFOTW as much justice as a summary can. It contains vErY interesting canon gay and an incredibly scrungly scrappy female protagonist.

ACFCS (as Marshall): I really liked this because it was a classic adult sprawling fantasy, but with none of the sexual violence or ethnic/gender baggage endemic to that genre. It was bloated as hell but the bloat was thoroughly enjoyable. (11/22)

The only thing I was disappointed in/nervous of in ACFCS, early on, was that the androgynous character described gender neutrally was revealed to be 100% woman in a way that pinged a slight alarm for me because I wasn’t sure where it was going, but then she turned out to be an adorable woman-chasing baby butch with absolutely 0 sexual tension with the older male POV character whose chapters she stars in so I was fine with it again. Also this book had one of the most interesting and tragic evil/morally ambiguous female characters I’ve read about in a WHILE and I’m still thinking about her. Oh lol it also has a 16 year old annoying fantasy pope but to shake things up a bit this one is a girl who wears black and she’s not important. The whole thing is just full of fun obviously. If you love way too long fantasy go read it!

When I’m Gone, Look For Me in the East - Quan Barry

Late fave of the year?? An elegantly written book about twin brothers in modern Mongolia seeking the reincarnation of a Tibetan Buddhist spiritual figure. The narration was entirely in present tense. I didn’t feel the ending had much impact or value but the rest of the book was so artfully done I don’t care. [And it made it to my top 10!] (12/22) 

For the top 15:

Night Theater - Vikram Paralkar

The Fortune Men - Nadifa Mohamed

The Language of the Night - Ursula K. Le Guin essay collection

Patience & Sarah - Isabel Miller

Conversations with Octavia Butler - Octavia Butler interview collection

Bottom 4 Plus 3

Bottom 4, plus 3 I liked overall but had different issues/strong negative discussion points with. I read so many books this year that I wanted to sit back and think about exactly why I disliked some of them or what I disliked about the ones that didn’t work for me.

Revival Season - West

So bad & offensive. (03/22)

This woman grew up in urban Cali and wrote this entire book at a writing seminar in urban Ohio. Enough said. Except no. This book is enragingly bad and offensive on so many levels to every single character depicted in the book but especially the protagonist, her disabled sister, the mom, and even the antagonist preacher dad. I get that statistically not everyone grew up as a fundie PK or whatever but just based on the narrative treatment of the disabled sister, I’m shocked that the Goodreads reviews are so positive. Totally insulting shitty book. And the writing sucks too. That sounds so juvenile but it pretty much does just... suck.

Out of Darkness - Perez

I hated what this book did and how it did it so much that I didn’t even write it down in my book journal after finishing it in June/July, so these notes are current. A ton of gratuitous plot unnecessary/irrelevant CSA of the protagonist and that isn’t even why I hated it. I will only say that as great and interesting as the summary and setting might sound, do not be deceived. This book is the greatest argument in favor of #OwnVoices I’ve ever read due to how awful it is.

The Unbroken - Clark

Should have been better than what it was... great ideas but the plot (+ consistent characterization) was in shambles. (09/22)

OK. So. We’re talking longass ~diverse~ fantasy. Marshall’s A Crown For Cold Silver, on my Top 10 list, is a way too long brick of fantasy and I was delighted by it, but Clark’s The Unbroken is a way too long brick of fantasy that should have been eviscerated by its editor. You absolutely feel the length in both of these but in one of them you’re happy about it like a nine course feast you can savor and in one of them you feel like you’re dragging yourself through the desert waiting to die. The reason for this is that ACFCS coheres beautifully on a plot level and is filled with interesting characters whose actions cohere with who the character is as a person and lead toward an epic conclusion, as well as characters’ relationships being consistent and developing -- positively or negatively -- in ways that make sense. The Unbroken... has none of that. Plot and character development were in shambles and it suffered from similar (though not quite as shocking) moral event horizon problems as Bright Smoke, Cold Fire (further down this list).  Also I fully assumed the author was white because of how sympathetically the white-coded colonist princess girl and her European noble friends were written in comparison to literally everyone else but I guess that’s just how the book was. Anyway, read this book if you want to gain an intimate understanding of Dorothy Jones Heydt’s eight deadly words.

Pet - Emezi

This was unfortunately a mess. Great ideas but a mess. Did not like the writing, plot was boring and the fridge horror of the utopia was hinted at but never explored or engaged with. (10/22)

I may have been too hard on it in my kneejerk reaction but it is not good. It suffered from similar issues to Cloud Cuckoo Land (below) except not only is this author a career modern litfic writer she was also trying to write a kids book for the first time apparently. This explained a lot of the... weirdness about how it was written. On a character and theme level it was a very surface level, slightly confused book, which would be OK if the plot was comprehensible or the world was interesting and well thought out but neither of those things was true.

3 more that I couldn’t call bad but had critical things to say about that I wanted to make sure everyone saw 🤪

Bright Smoke, Cold Fire

Romeo & Juliet retelling that would have been GREAT if the ending hadn’t included 1 protagonist sprinting across the moral event horizon at light speed and the implied gay character having his male love interest turn out to be a crossdressing girl. Literally devastated bc the beginning was SO GOOD (this is the one where Juliet & Paris are baby homeschoolers) (and Juliet swordfights) (04/22)

The other huge criticism I have for this book other than the two things above which were already bizarre and book-ruining is that it wasn’t a self contained story. It feels like it could and should have been, to the point where the last third and even last half of the book felt off in the pacing as the plot was, oddly, stretched artificially out for the purpose of coming to less of a conclusion than it would have if the story were allowed to be fully resolved by the end of the book.

Cloud Cuckoo Land

Oh boy... one of my first encounters with a contemporary Lit Fic (TM) writer in a long time. The parts of the book set in historical Turkey + Constantinope I enjoyed. The rest I liked the idea of but it just felt SO... pure extruded litfic product. [There was a topically relevant school shooter and a topically relevant evil tech company and a topically relevant elderly gay man whose whole life was sad because of homophobia and then he died sacrificing himself. All written in that tasty pure extruded litfic voice. The Turkish boy and Byzantine girl were good but they should’ve been their own book.] (08/22)

Wake of Vultures

Loved the concept and the protagonist, loved the setting, loved the magic/myth system, loved the story. Did not love how the entire thing was written like YA except for the multiple extremely graphic and plot unnecessary sexual assaults on the transmasc protagonist in the last third of the book (while misgendering them because of course). It didn’t make me DNF the book because I was invested and wanted to see how it ended but I won’t be reading more of this series. [...In keeping with the theme introduced by my #2 Worst, this book was not #OwnVoices either. In retrospect, I knew that going in and should have been wary about how many people said it was an OMG Awesome Trans Protagonist Book.] (12/22)

Wackiest because I needed this section

This mostly exists because I’m still not over the funniest, weirdest summary vs. plot bait and switch I’ve ever experienced in a (decently written) book in a long time, but it also exists so I can praise one of my top 10 again.

The Night Tiger - Yangsze Choo

Crouching (were)tiger, hidden sibling incest romance. Yes. That is what it is. You will read the summary and the reviews and come away expecting a dark, adult, slightly creepy Malaysian historical fantasy about weretigers. Do not be misled, as I was. There are no weretigers. There is no fantasy. This book is a 1930s Malaysia period piece framing a lovingly written heterosexual incest romance. For any of you who enjoy this kind of thing... have at it! The book is good and the setting was gorgeous. I was just baffled. I’m still cracking up about the whole experience of reading this book and finally realizing more than 2/3 of the way through that 1) it was romance genre; 2) between the siblings; and 3) there weren’t going to be any weretigers. Tragic!

Anyway, I want to read more books set in 1930s Malaysia/British Malaya so if you have ‘em send recs.

My Favorite Thing Is Monsters - Emil Ferris

OK just read this. CW for everything fucked up though. 

[crazy-hand-official]

omg sorry for being late with these two so im just combining them!! ive been overwhelmed at work it sucks hell no

but anyways i was tagged by the lovely @cherixrosa twice!! :) the first was to shuffle the top songs in your spotify wrapped playlist (or in this case my apple music replay) and list the first ten that come up!

1. Ain’ It Fun (live) - Rocket From the Tombs

2. Swimming Pool - Marie Madeleine

3. Pet Grief - The Radio Dept.

4. Daisy - Ashnikko

5. No Dark Things - Echo and the Bunnymen

6. Bololo Hahaha - MC Bin Laden

7. Get in Line - Barenaked Ladies

8. Feeling Good - Chrissy Zebby Tembo

9. Animal Farm- The Kinks

10. Come Together- Primal Scream

sounds about right for my year! second tag was to answer some fun questions about myself :)

nicknames: casey, kas, crazy hand, tusk doglips, verucca vulgaris, miss catherine / nurse catherine, and i know i have one more but i cant think of it aw man

sign: libra

last thing i googled: toxoplasma gondii...... i usually have more exciting stuff going on in my mind sorry folks

song stuck in my head: since writing that list of 10 songs “get in line” by BNL is playing in a loop. my brother was one of the top barenaked ladies listeners in the united states on spotify. my parents had new wave mix CDs and barenaked ladies playing nonstop when i was little and it’s the soundtrack to my childhood.

number of followers: like 10 mutuals and 54 sexy, sexy porn bots

amount of sleep: it depends. i get between 0-48 depending on what the hell is going on

lucky number: the hackers would love to hack into my bank account now wouldnt they...

dream job: i have my dream job right now which is being a psych nurse :) also does anyone remember that plug and play game from the early aughts ‘dream life?’ lmao

wearing: kuromi pajamas because i am tired from the absolutely draining night of work i just had and should rest but i still want to read and blog and journal and kiss all my pets :(

movies that summarize me: god i hate saying this because of the toxic vibes it gives off but girl interrupted just maybe in a clinical sense. but i dont even like that movie anyway. idk i dont watch movies uh..... crybaby and gummo for my vibe especially when i write. grey gardens is the best fitting movie of all though.

books that summarize me: and i don’t want to live this life, the bell jar, uhh not sure really what else.

favorite song: closing time — hole

favorite instrument: that old grimy keyboard from the 90s that my siblings and i would push the demo button of and pretend to play

aesthetic: cockette, new wave, post punk, trash dirt and grime. sanrio and cigarettes. baker miller pink. punk adjacent.

favorite author: my best friend and i

favorite animal noise: mourning doves. crooOO... hooo...hooo...hooo.......

random: my rats smell like burnt popcorn. many people who own rats claim they smell like popcorn and we dont know why

tagging: anyone who wants to man it’s your life dont you forget caught in the crowd it never ends

[quaelgeist333]

I posted 6,758 times in 2022

That's 5,701 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (1%)

6,701 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pocketspores

@meenah

@sootslash

@pigeocore

@jivs-jam

I tagged 138 of my posts in 2022

#warriors - 37 posts

#warrior cats - 25 posts

#pokemon - 14 posts

#wc - 10 posts

#my art - 8 posts

#sexyman descendants - 8 posts

#tf2 medic kids - 8 posts

#frecklewish - 7 posts

#garry kids - 7 posts

#warrior cats au - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#bob mortimer will always be my vc for him idc if the rest of the cats are american whenever i try to figure out voices he will always

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Decided to give the sexyman descendant sibling groups individual tags for myself and others convenience

They're pretty obvious with being #garry kids and #tf2 medic kids

6 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#4

Be gay do crime is their motto!

Some stuff

Thing on nose is also a piercing!

Less unhinged like their dad(s?), because they actually have friends who they can rely on and good parents.

Will offer to do your top surgery when they finish education

Knows german, english and latin

Has multiple replicas of the cane in case of something happening to it

The e bass idea comes from ludwig being able to play iirc violin, And basses are background, necessary and support but can play on their own

Can't wait to share all stuff that group facts

8 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#3

I need to rant about this because it happens time and time again

Person: able bodied people introducing a disablrd character just to have them to be sad about it and suddenly being cured and being happy is ableist

Other person, umprompted: YEAH WELL I'M DISABLED AND WISH I WAS CURED SO IT'S NOT

OH MY GOD SHUT UP, YOU'RE A PERFECT EXAMPLE WHY IT'S BAD, THAT SHIT TEACHES DISABLED PEOPLE THEY'RE BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD AND HOPE FOR A MAGICAL CURE BECAUSE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN YOU'RE USELESS WHICH IS SHITTY.

Picture a child that's disabled, may it be by birth or by accident, they never see people like them and makes them sad. Then they hear of a show with someone with their disability and they're excited, but when they watch the character is either belittled or is just used as pity that apparently it makes them useless and that they're wrong until they're "fixed" and everything is great. Imagine the sadness of that child, maybe the start of self hate.

Because it's likely they will never ever see a character that isn't that or just toxic positivity, imagine the resentment at themself.

Congratulations, you wanting this stuff to maintain causes this to happen to a lot of kids.

11 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#2

The tf2 comic isn't out yet because one of the bot snipers eats a gun and always crashes the stuff where they save the script

14 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I look at this fucked up character and analyze for a bit before going "oh, they had a hellish childhood with lack of good parental support, having lost much of their autonomy, probably even having people try getting rid of it once and for all by trying to control their emotions making them cling to anything where they can get autonomy, even if it's murder or any other violence because that's the biggest factor of autonomy, being able to decide if someone lives or dies." and adding them to my kin list

16 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lovesthecure]

God, I'm stressed.

The puppy we're trying to get might've been a scam? His mother is the one in touch with them, and she hasn't updated us since last night. They kept piling on more costs, the puppy itself was only supposed to be 600. After promising us he'd be here soon, they keep piling on more...? Feels fishy as shit. I hope it isn't.

My step dad decided to go get laid, and not update me. No "okay, I'm leaving now" or anything. Ghosted me for an entire day, and then told me to somehow cook dinner faster. We had to clear out of the living area by the time he was done showering after he got home. Ignored my messages about needing soap and groceries. Didn't even feed or walk the dog.

I'm having dreams about my egg donor again. They say that when you dream of someone, it means they're thinking about you. I'd rather she didn't.

There's a potential client who just isn't getting back to me. I'm trying to not be pushy, but if I should save a slot for them... I kind of need to know that. Is that 80$ I should budget into things, or not?

I think "the ps5 incident" genuinely left something on top of the Christmas Trauma Pile. I keep sitting here convinced he's going to ignore the list to get something for himself again. My whole childhood I was bad at wanting things, and now that I finally want things: he ignores it for something he wanted. Ignores it for that. Maybe I just have a low opinion of the man, but I don't put it past him to do two years in a row.

His cat allergies didn't react to his crush's longhair cats. I doubt he even has the allergies--he spent a week with my grandparent's shorthairs with no trouble at all. Either way, apparently I can get a kitten now. It just has to be a longhair. He's not that conspiratorial, but I keep wondering if that's somehow a trap. Like he knows the grooming costs would be too high, aside from me grooming the cat myself. He's not that smart though. He just knows he's run out of excuses to say I can't have a cat, and can't be bothered to just say "no."

We can't move out fast enough, it feels. Then it's not his decision.

I have to sit at a table and play DND with him next week. I have to not complain and just keep playing. I'm glad his character is so interested in other characters that aren't mine. It means I can focus elsewhere too.

I hate that I can't complain. I have to sit there, complacent. I'm a doll waiting to have the string pulled, to go "it's fine," and be set back on the shelf. Maybe I'd feel less like that if he even attempted to put time into me. He couldn't even watch episode 1 of a show with me. He doesn't invite me on streams anymore. As much as I wouldn't want to be there anyway, it stings a little. My usefulness has been outlived.

But not really. He can feel like he "provides" for me. My mother-in-law worries all the time that he drinks more out of stress. That maybe he's stressed caring for my husband and I. Maybe if I had the energy I'd tell her how much he actively impedes me making progress as an adult. Either on purpose, accidentally, or sub-consciously. I'm 21. I don't even have an ID to bring to a restaurant to prove it. With no car or stable income of my own... I have to rely on him. What a fucking joke that is.

He's been neglecting me to some level since 16, but hey. At least he doesn't do half the shit my egg donor or grandmother did, huh?

Once the basement is done, my mother-in-law is letting us move in there. It'd be impossible to get a place of our own, even if my husband and I both worked full-time. Manageable rent from her, as she helps us get off our feet. I'm terrified. Almost as scared as I'd been waiting 2 ~ 3 years for my step father to update me on if I was even going to see a doctor or not for numerous health issues plaguing me. Almost.

It's just slightly easier.

At least it means things will go somewhere.

At least there, I will not stagnate the way I've been forced to here.

I feel kind of like a prisoner.