#god i care him so much
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we added a doc q fic to our slate of planned x reader fics!! epic win for disabled top nation 🧡
#squeaks#writing the outline rn and having him need to take a break to catch his breath in the middle. wow hes just like me fr!!!!#god i care him so much#we both actually got weirdly anxious earlier that we would somehow get cancelled for 'fetishising disability' if we wrote doc q fic#i had to like. take a step back and remind myself that im writing from my own experience here. this is my reality and i can write abt it
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
#911#911edit#911 abc#911 show#911 spoilers#911 season 7#tommy kinard#evan buckley#evan 'buck' buckley#kinley#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name#anyway analysis time!#looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud#babygirl was back there getting into narnia#he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins#even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something#but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think#and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself#because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you#then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is#and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough#or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him#rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless#my edits
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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I'm rewatching Arcane, and after my third time seeing season 1 I had a hot new reading on Viktor's scenes in episodes 6, 7, and 8.
Like a lot of other people, I felt it was weird and unsavory that Viktor - very close to death with a disease that affects his lungs - suddenly starts experimenting on his disabled leg. Those two things have nothing in common, save for the fact that the cause of both might have been the toxic fumes of the undercity, which could have resulted in Viktor being born disabled if his parents were also subject to those conditions.
So why does Viktor try to "fix" his leg when his main goal is to utilize the Hexcore to prolong and improve living conditions before he's gone?
Viktor in acts 2 and 3 is motivated to save himself long enough to make a difference in the world. Even though Hextech is revolutionary for Piltover, it hasn't reached who Viktor wanted to help this whole time, the disenfranchised in the undercity. In his mind, he hasn't done enough to change the world for the better, and he will be gone before he has the chance to do so.
After realizing the Hexcore responded to organic matter when it absorbed Viktor's blood, he experiments with plants, only to find that they wither and die soon after the Hexcore makes them grow.
This causes him to visit Singed once again for anything that could help him figure out how to use the Hexcore for magic that could save lives, one last shot at accomplishing his dreams.
Viktor parted ways with with him as a child upon seeing that Singed was willing to hurt Rio, his salamander test subject, in order to prolong her life. Viktor didn't understand that cost before, but he does now, being in the same position as Singed and Rio simultaneously, both the scientist trying to make a breakthrough and the subject he needs to save in order to do so.
Like Rio, Viktor is not his own end goal to his scientific pursuits. Singed is trying to save his daughter, Viktor is trying to help his people. He's his own means to an end, and is now willing to pay the cost of getting there.
Singed gives Viktor a variant of Shimmer to experiment with, the idea being that it will stabilize an organism while the Hexcore's magic affects it, hopefully allowing it to survive through the aggressive and sudden healing process.
Viktor injects the Shimmer into his leg, as well as carving runes into both his brace and thigh to channel the magic towards there before he offers the Hexcore his blood. It does Something to his leg which we don't see till the following episode.
The new reading I have of this scene is that the reason Viktor chose his leg specifically is not because he was trying to "fix" it, but because:
-He's not willing to put others' lives at risk and knows he's not long for this world, so the only test subject he's willing to use is himself
-He knows the organic matter he tests the Hexcore on might die
-Viktor's leg is a part of his body he's willing to lose if things go wrong and it rejects the transmutation (he also knows that he could just fully die then and there too and is willing to take that risk)
Obviously, the scenes involving Viktor's experimentation center his physical disabilities (shots of his back brace, the focus on his leg) and equate them with the disease that is literally killing him. The narrative lens shows us that Viktor "curing" himself begins with his disability, which sucks.
So while the boat scene undoubtedly is written to be "triumphant" because Viktor's leg is no longer disabled (shown by him dropping his crutch, the swelling music, the parallel to the scene where a child Viktor can't keep up with his toy boat), a different reading is that it's another experiment to him.
Viktor is stress testing the organic matter he infused with magic, and the scene is triumphant because he's realized his leg isn't deteriorating or weakening - it holds up. The mutation of the magic in his leg survived. It's a sign that maybe he can use the Hexcore on the rest of his body, keep himself alive long enough to do what he's always wanted to do: leave a legacy that changes the world for the better.
To me that's a much more in-character perspective for Viktor in these scenes than what is being said narratively through directing, framing, music, etc. Previously, Viktor had never expressed distaste for his disability as an adult, only commenting on it as a part of why he was isolated socially from Piltover. To me, him testing the Hexcore on his leg is merely an indifference to its current state, rather than a preference to have it changed. I don't even necessarily think it'd be a bad thing if Viktor did outright say "I would like to not be disabled", because I'm sure many other disabled people feel that way from time to time, but season 1 really does a poor job of pushing that framing of "curing" disability onto a character that did not express those perspectives himself at this point.
It gives off a big ol' "aw, poor Viktor, not only is he dying because of the political landscape that leaves disenfranchised people to suffer preventable diseases, but he's got a disabled leg too!" One of those things is much more problematic than the other lol.
Season 2 definitely hurtles Viktor very quickly into the Machine Herald perspective in which he thinks humans must evolve past ANY limitations of their original bodies, but to me season 1 Viktor just doesn't feel that way about himself. His primary concern has always been rooted in how to improve the lives of his people permanently, and it's only when he's actively dying that his secondary goal is to live long enough to see that happen.
It's something he drops completely after his experimentation results in Sky's death. He's immediately spiteful of the Hexcore and tries to destroy it - and himself.
Viktor now accepts that he will die before he's able to change the world the way he wanted, and hides the fact that he fucked with his body from everyone as he awaits his demise. "Fixing" his leg is not something he celebrates in and of itself, it's now only a reminder that the pursuit of his dream resulted in someone else's death.
The narrative does well in season 2 to frame Viktor's Glorious Evolution as a Bad Thing at least, and Jayce's speech at the end about Viktor never being broken is extremely valuable and important, but it's just weird to see him say this:
Cause to me now, that ain't what Viktor was trying to do at all! The writers may have retconned that to be the case, which is fine, whatever, but season 1 in isolation does not support that idea to me after this rewatch.
Overall, I think Arcane can have confusing directing sometimes that focuses on evoking feelings and themes rather than the richness of its characters, their dynamics, and the world they inhabit - to the detriment of all the above. In season 2, this resulted in a lot of scenes that felt emotionally unearned or muddy to me, like pretty much everything with Jinx, Vi, and Vander together rip.
It's for this same reason that I think it took me so long to really come to this reading of Viktor's season 1 scenes, because the directing bias REALLY wants to make you feel sorrow and hope alongside Viktor, even though it means he'll seem to randomly start equating his disabled leg to his illness. It just felt like a weird disparity to me until I watched these episodes again and was like "wait" lol.
Anyway peace and love on planet Earth I cannot stop thinking about Viktor Arcane
#oogway voice: mmmm...viktor#viktor#arcane#arcane spoilers#analysis#i was watching these episodes last night and i teared up when he came back on screen in one scene. he wasnt even doing anything sad#it was just a shot of his face but i was like. oh my god i love him so much#its bad#long post#text poasted#posting this on my art account so i can lure you into looking at my viktor art (there is more incoming)#i also 100% feel like viktor being the mage that jayce met as a kid was also retconned cause if you think about it for 2 seconds#the logistics get very confusing#but who cares jayvik nation forever#thats beside the point
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#nerik#nicky hemmick#erik klose#all for the game#fanart#one thing i take so seriously is nerik#like damn thats what started everything fr#thats... thats papa and dado...#OUUGHHH GOD I LOVE NICKY SO MUCH LOL I tried to put such care into him i need everyone to know that#thats my favorite ever.#Nicky hemmick you are so special to me. and erik you are too because youre special to nicky#Guys holy crap... i think that means... one couple left... Will andreil be next or will i blue ball you...#other fandoms#other fandoms: all for the game
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never getting over the fact that at the start of "the outsiders" when ponyboy is getting jumped, while the rest of the gang goes after the socs who attacked him, darry is the only one who goes straight to ponyboy to make sure that he's okay, he doesn't even think to go after the socs, his only priority is going to his baby brother and making sure his baby is okay
#and based off of ponyboy's thoughts#it would have made more sense for soda to be the first to check on him#because through pony's eyes soda's the one who really cares#but it's not soda it's darry#ohhhh god curtis brothers i love you so so much#the outsiders#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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aziraphale holding the jar with the 7 year old kid's tumor in it so close to his heart and looking completely destroyed by the fact the boy did not survive... god. baby. angel.
#i love him i cant stay mad at him when he does stuff like this#makes me feel all soft inside. god. he cares so much#good omens
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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was having trans marty thoughts again and i came to a realization about this scene
#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#lorraine baines#lorraine mcfly#kit does an art#drew this one a while back and was hoping to save it until i compiled enough doodles in the same genre#but i like it better as a standalone picture bc it's funny so. here you go#poor marty he had so much going on in this scene alone#and if you think about him being trans it just adds another layer to that#1. just woke up from getting hit by a car#2. realized he wasn't dreaming and he definitely is in the past#3. that's his mom. in the past#4. his mom is HOT in the past. wasn't she born a nun or something this is wrong and terrible and he hates everything about this realization#5. where are his pants. why does he have no pants where are his pants. they're halfway across the room??? why are they over there#6. HIS MOM IS HITTING ON HIM???? his mom who is objectively hot in the past is hitting on him and he's in her bed with no pants on and ohhh#oh god. she took off his pants. to look at his underwear. and guys usually have something noticeably under the wear don't they. oh shit#7. SHE TOTALLY NOTICED. SHE'S GONNA ASK AND HE'S GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT AND IT'S GOING TO BE SO AWKWARD AND BAD#8. there's no way someone in the 50s is gonna get it she's either going to think he's a girl (problem 6 is taken care of but replaced with#perhaps an equally uncomfortable experience) or like. they're going to stone him or something he doesn't know how they react to this stuff#in the 50s#luckily for marty the last 2 problems never happen but that still would've been a very stressful minute just thinking about it#she was so perplexed by the purple underwear ig she just didn't notice haha.#kit yap session#for the tags. as usual
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Watching Loki. I’m on episode 4 and I’m trying to see what the hype was about
#I’m on s1e4 and this shit isn’t gripping my attention at ALL#usually it takes me a season or two to care about a show tho so I’ll be kind to it#is this probably a wild take? eh maybe#some shows I like instantly but this surely ain’t it.#it is a fun concept but man I’m just#they’re not going enough into the absolute batshit shenanigans :(#but that might just me loving comic book camp and it’s far more serious#I’m just so glad they didn’t make both Lokis be a couple thank hood#*god#bro I just need it to get UBER time fuckey and have fourth dimension bullshit involved#update on S1E5 and I’m just waiting for interesting shit to happen#bones speaks#ok it might be getting interesting. they have kinship#Oop and they’re captured. andddd he’s stuck in his own purgatory? oh it’s a time loop. nice.#I like Mobius the best. he’s fun and his charisma is just fantastic. I’m glad they centered his on character a lot and intrigued to see#and where his character goes#GOD NO THEYRE MAKING SYLVIE AND LOKI A THING FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU#god I HATE that shit cmon. make him fall in love with Mobius u dumb fucks it’s so much more of an interesting take
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charles and erik with each other: oh dear, oh dear. gorgeous 🥺👐 charles and erik with the villain of the week/the x-men: K1LL YOURSELF 🔥🔥🔥
X-Men: First Class (2011) | X-Men Apocalypse (2016)
#charles is soo insane for looking at a god in the face and telling him to fuck off bc he was hurting his best friend. most normal guy.#cherik#mine*#x-men#xmenedit#parallelsedit#filmedit#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#otp: i want you by my side#god charles' entire demeanor towards apocalypse in xma has always been SOO funny to me. he literally looks ANNOYED every time#apocalypse speaks in the movie. he doesn't even look intimidated or worried that he's trying to possess CHARLES'S BODY or anything#mind you charles wrote his thesis about mutation and here he has THE FIRST MUTANT ever in front of him. who's also a god threatening#to destroy the world. and charles' only reaction is:#'whatever. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY LOSER i CANNOT see erik from where you are standing and i'm worried about him'#and i do think it's very sweet that after this raven tells erik he has to fight for what he has left - and he thinks about charles#(the man that stood on the balcony all those years ago and that cared enough about him to tell him there is more to him#and the same man that STILL CARES ENOUGH to look at A GOD in the face and telling him to go fuck off and die and stop manipulating erik)#charles loves him so much you don't get it........... i'm foaming at the mouth i'm so normal about them
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Felt a little silly so I drew puppy Cross for the soul <3 Made sure to make his expression extra cute 💞 (I wouldn't be able to resist it either- ahemgfjh 💀)
Cross belongs to jakei Nightmare belongs to jokublog
#undertale au#ut au#utmv#cross sans#nightmare sans#crossmare#Implied I guess lol#God I love puppy Cross so much I wanna hug him and never let go#This might be ooc but I don't care let me indulge kgkffgk#Also quite lazy (I mean- the lineart definitely is)#mmelart
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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