#god disney doesn’t let luke do anything fun

[phoenixkaptain]

Okay, okay, okay, looK

Luke definitely choked out those Gamorrean guards. Like, you can try to convince me he didn’t, but we never see them get back up. And the intent was definitely that he Force choked them.

HOWEVER. One thing to remember about the original trilogy is that there were no techniques unique to good or bad, not really. Yes, the Dark Side had Force lightning, but it’s a technnique that’s dangerous moreso than evil, as apparently you can eloctrocute yourself with it if you get distracted. There is not even a hint of what we have today; that being separate fighting styles and fighting styles used only by one side or the other.

So, what differentiates Light and Dark Side? Well, as far as I can tell, it’s the emotion behind what you’re doing.

Luke doesn’t “pull a Dark Side technique” because the point of Return of the Jedi specifically is that Jedi don’t do things out of anger. And Luke didn’t Force choke them out of anger. He was super chill about it, meaning that, according to that movie, he didn’t even touch the Dark Side during his first reappearance, but he didn’t have to to pull off the move.

If you really want to get technical, I suppose you could find fault and say “But they go down so fast, there’s no way he choked them unles Gamorreans take a lot more oxygen then I thought.” That’s a fair argument. I liked to assume that he just accidentally crushed their windpipes, honestly, because how often do you think he got a chance to practice his move? And on what?

Luke Force choking the guards is part of the whole thing, okay? It doesn’t make sense if he doesn’t Force choke them. He’s Vader’s son, goddangit, that’s the POINT. He’s wearing all black and he’s Force choking Gamorreans and that’s because they are trying to use visual shorthand to tell us, the audience “look. Luke may ask later, but he’s really accepted that he’s Vader’s son. The difference between them is that Vader does things while frsutrated or impatient and Luke does things while perfectly calm”

Luke tries to use a mind trick on Jabba, but I’m ninety percent sure that he attempted it knowing that it wouldn’t work. He wants to show everyone in Jabba’s Palace that he’s a Jedi. He’s doing Jedi stuff, he’s pulling out all the stops, he’s trying to intimidate Jabba in hopes that it will make Jabba give up his friends.

And that’s the key thing. Luke is going for intimidation in that scene. Of course he’s going to mimic Darth Vader. He’s trying to be scary. Just because it doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean that’s not what he was going for. He wants to be spooky and mysterious and creepy so Jabba will go “Just take your friends and leave, jeez, stop being like this.” Yeah, he doesn’t really expect that it will work, but what it does do is make the skiff guards hesitant to attack him because he freaks them out.

I’m sorry. I saw a Screen Rant article that said Luke didn’t Force choke the Gamorrean guards. They provided evidence in the form of Legends’ canon and the junior novelization, but I don’t believe them. The scene was shot and directed in a way to make us think that he Force choked the big scary guards. Why would they shoot and direct a scene to misguide us, the audience? Star Wars didn’t do that at any other point in the movies. They misdirected us with dialogue, never with visuals. Why would they suddenly decide to misdirect us at this point? And only the once??? Just accept that Luke Force choked some people because Luke A.) doesn’t know it’s a Dark side technique and B.) doesn’t know that there are Dark side tehniques

[ma1dita]

Duddee, now you gotta write luke proposing to trouble, you simply cannot now IBHBHKK

the perfect weekend

a ‘partners in crime’ alternate universe installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

alternate universe masterpost

words: 1.2k (this was too cute the word count escaped me)

summary: alternate universe - the perfect weekend with your perfect boy, even if he thinks otherwise

a/n: happy luke happy luke happy luke FIANCE LUKE 

(posted 2/4/23 unbetad and written on caffeine)

—

This weekend felt like a dream.

Luke took you to your favorite spots that you’ve both carved memories out of in Westport, buying you and his mom gorgeous fresh flowers from the farmers’ market, and he let you drag him around his hometown, spending hours in tiny antique shops and the record store on Main Street. He couldn’t get over how you always found fun in the simple things— even going to the pharmacy to pick up his mom’s medication felt like going to Disney World with you. He couldn’t be more sure of his decision, it was almost inconceivable to spend another day without you being his fiancee.

But luck wasn’t known to be on his side, after all (yeah, thanks dad). Luke’s always had to work harder to get what he wants, and he’s spent the past few years trying to prove himself to your dad—though deep down, he thinks Mr. D doesn’t mind him as much as he makes it seem. (Asking him for his blessing last week over a bottle of wine and a bone-shaking hug scared the wits out of him. He pretended to not notice the god cry.)

Luke just wants to give you what you deserve. And if he needs to spend the rest of his life working on it to prove it, he ought to do it with you by his side.

But he couldn’t think of how.

He tried proposing over dinner last night, with the smell of burnt cookies in the air, but that wasn’t romantic at all, and his hands were shaking so hard he knocked a glass over, prompting you and his mom to fuss over the mess and giggle over his silliness. You both chatted deep into the night, Luke sitting quietly and nodding at two of his favorite women babbling about who knows what (Sometimes he’s still convinced you like his mom more than him, but the way you both take care of him makes him tear up if he thinks too hard about it).

When you went horseriding this afternoon, he set up a picnic for lunch, which was romantic. Chocolate-covered strawberries and sandwiches made by mom, sparkling cider twinkling in the sun. Luke was sure it was going to be great timing— until he realized the ring box fell out of his pocket again, and he slipped in manure trying to rush you back to the house (The sound of your laughter at clumsiness made his heart warm though, and it almost made up for the three hours he looked for the stupid box in the grass that night when you fell asleep with his tiny Star Wars-themed flashlight).

He woke you up early before the sun rose, carrying you out to the car still bundled up in his old Toy Story throw blanket that you wouldn’t let him toss out when he brought it to college (The faded pictures of Buzz and Woody kept a smile on your face, and the memories it brought make you feel connected to 9-year-old Luke). The drive to the beach was short, a sleepy smile on your face as you felt Luke grab onto your hand, sand getting between your toes before he laid out a blanket and the both of you sat down.

Cracking open a redbull for the both of you to sip on, you leaned against his muscled frame, legs hanging over his lap as he wiped the sand off your feet, holding you close as he smiled.

“Good morning, handsome,” you grinned, leaning up for a kiss. Luke obliged, savoring the taste of you mixed with sleep and artificial peach. Your noses nudge against each other before he mumbles a reply, “Good morning, pretty girl.”

“Y’know? I could die happy just like this. I can’t think of anything else that would make this weekend more perfect.”

Luke hummed in contemplation, “I could think of a few things,” he said, as a laugh bubbled from his lips. A noise of confusion rose from you as you reached up to dust lint off his shirt before your knee nudged something hard in his pocket, and your eyebrow raised in mischief.

“Dirty boy, you get me out of your mom’s house and you’re already excited?”

And he laughed the stress off until it freed itself from his bones, pure elation radiating off of him before Eos even had a chance to spread her first rays of light into the sky. 

He’s never needed perfect.

He just needs you.

His hands dug into his pocket, pulling out the ring box that’s caused him so much trouble this weekend. But a life with you should’ve already prepared him for that—and the shock on your face became funnier when you launched yourself on top of him, kicking up sand and taking the air out of his lungs.

You both hit the ground with a loud thud, your nose buried in his chest as he chuckles at your scream. Why was he even worried to begin with? 

“Wait, wait, I still have something to say trouble, don’t jump ahead of the script!”

His hand rubbed your back in gentle strokes as he popped the box open to reveal a delicate golden band with two diamonds juxtaposed against each other sitting pretty on top.

“It’s always been you and me. And I’ve spent hours thinking of what to say, days trying to figure out when the time would be right, months working for a pretty ring that’s perfect for you, years loving you… and well… I want more. I want this, you and me spending the rest of our lives together because I can’t comprehend a future without you. I’d do anything for you trouble, and I don’t believe in much, but I believe in you. Us.”

You’ve cried so hard by this point that you’re convinced it’s so goddamn ugly but Luke smiles at you like he’s been promised immortality. And perhaps he has, with the future you two will have scrolling through his mind like an old film, a house on a hill, kids, a dog, shit—whatever you want as long as he’s with you it’ll be the closest thing to forever he’d have.

“Are you sure?” you said sniffling, and your boyfriend wiped your tears away like he has countless times before, though happy tears are something he’ll have to get used to.

“I literally ruined your proposal, I just thought you were horny, oh my gods…” Whining loudly and laughing, you held your shaking hand out as he sat up to put the ring on your finger.

“Well, we can fix that later. I still have a question to ask, after all.”

Luke grinned when your head nodded rapidly, finally shutting up so you wouldn’t interrupt him again.

“Will you,” he says so surely now, saying your name before continuing, “let me have the honor of spending the rest of our lives together as your husband?”

“Gods, yes. Fucking hell angelface, did you really think I’d say no?”

The both of you laughed through tears and snot as he placed the ring on your left hand, and still, it couldn’t be more perfect.

“A life with trouble is the life for me,” he mused, laughing as you covered his face in kisses before the both of you fell back into the sand a tangle of lips and lust and love.

You jolted up from your fiance’s embrace just as he thought he was going to get lucky, almost emptying your entire wallet of drachmas into the sand-covered blanket to Iris message your friends.

---

(pics are not representative of reader's appearance or gender just a lil visual for funsies)

ask to be added to general/luke taglists!

luke taglist (struck out won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @b0ok-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen @nininehaaa @bradynoonswife @stevenknightmarc @hoodedhavok @happy-mushrooms @homebyeleven @anotherblackreader @too-deviant @liviessun

[oh-boy-me]

I just read both the australia and museum post and the chaos levels are top tier, but like imagine the chaos that ensues if lord diavolo discovers about amusment parks and immediately just buys tickets to disneyland. Lucifer is basically the dad trying not to loose his children(lord diavolo included). Lord diavolo wanting to ride a loopy rollercoaster and just having the time of his life! (Also I highkey see diavolo ordering lucifer to make a disneyland in devildom tbh) Also mouse ear headbands!

This..... this took forever

Hey there anon!  Sorry it took literally a year to answer this!  If you’re still into Obey Me, I hope this was a pleasant surprise.

Also for the first time ever a scenario post is being put under the cut for length purposes.  This scenario is 2.6k words Jesus

Please note that the last time I went to Disney was in 2015, so anything that’s newer than that is taken from the extensive reading of Disney advice blogs I read in preparation for this post.  Anything older than that is likely from experience.

Also, I tried my best to keep this spoiler free for the attractions that can be affected by it.

--

So the Devildom DOES have the concept of amusement parks.  I slept on this ask for so long that we’ve learned about Devil’s Coast.  It seems to be more akin to a smaller-scale theme park, though.  Small-ish.  I’m used to NYC idk what constitutes as small.

Something like Disney World is on such a larger scale!!  When Diavolo heard about that, he knew they had to go.

They are going to Disney World in Orlando because it’s the only one I’ve been to.

Lucifer is REALLY getting tired of these field trips, but there would be no weird animals, and there would be no sobering lessons on global extinction events at a family-friendly amusement park.  He.  He can handle this.

Solomon has actually been banned from all Walt Disney theme parks.  We’re talking blacklist-level banned.  He’s barred from ever entering any Disney park ever again.  However, this was back in 1976, so this must be, like, his son or something, right?  There’s no way this is the same guy.  Thought the security guard who let him in.

What did Solomon do to get banned?  When asked, he only gave a curious hum.  “Yeah, I wonder.”

The place is split into four parks, so they’ll spend one day in each.

Barbatos continued to flex his power as the only one in the group with a brain cell, being sure to get them all fast passes.  He even set time back just for the passes while they were booking the rides they wanted to cut the lines for, so if they don’t get used he’s going to be very snippy.

Also for convenience sake this is taking place in an AU where everything is the same but COVID doesn’t exist to shut down some rides and attractions.

Day 1: Hollywood Studios

MC and Simeon basically have to coerce Lucifer into letting everyone run free instead of making them all line up with a walking rope all day.  He relents on the condition that everyone checks in periodically so he can at least know they haven’t killed anyone.

Nobody will check in except for maybe Beelzebub and those at Purgatory Hall.

Levi immediately gathered his fellow Star Wars fans (which basically meant calling over Mammon Belphie and Asmo and then pulling in two unsuspecting people suddenly given the title of “Star Wars fan”), and made a beeline for Galaxy’s Edge.  There’s a LOT to do there and damn it if he wasn’t going to hit all of it.

First up for their group is the interactive Millennium Falcon Smuggler’s Run.  They fail the mission.  Levi’s pretty pissed, but everyone agrees that it was fun nonetheless.  They really felt like they were doing a mission in the Falcon!  Plus, the gameplay element was totally up the alley of most of this group.  Simeon does feel a little nauseous from Luke’s jerky steering, though.

Did you know that Diavolo loves Toy Story?  He does.  He’s very much enjoying the Slinky roller coaster with Barbatos.

Barbatos would rather be spending time at the shows and performances, but oh no god forbid we don’t get an autograph from Doc McStuffins.  Lucifer please come find him and save him.

Lucifer somehow wandered into the Frozen Sing-Along Celebration.  He wants out.  Barbatos please come find him and save him.

In general, Lucifer isn’t a fan of these sorts of places, so honestly he’s just hiding from the others and waiting for today to be over.  Barbatos told him that there are parks that don’t revolve around rides and characters, and he’s holding out for those.

Luckily for them Diavolo wants to do LITERALLY everything, and that does include the shows, so Barbatos and Lucifer can have at least some fun today

Levi, Asmo, and Beel are about to start their relay for getting character autographs when Satan shows up out of nowhere and starts dragging everyone over to the Tower of Terror.  Solomon bars all attempts to flee on a certain Avatar of Greed’s side.

The line to the Tower is so long, and honestly?  Satan feels like the ride didn’t live up to the literal hour they waited to get on.  Like yeah it was fun, but way too short.

He voices those thoughts, and Levi, who Satan knows is afraid of heights, is pretty fucking livid and drags him to Rock n Rollercoaster as revenge.  Satan hates roller coasters.

As for the others, Asmo and Luke have a lot of fun on the thrill rides.  Mammon and Simeon do not.  Beel is a little spooked by them but still manages to have fun, while Belphie and Solomon think they’re alright.

Eventually, Simeon gets too sick to move, and they assign him to Luke.  They say it’s because he’s too short to ride some of the rides (even though he’s literally not, screw you guys.)

Barbatos messes with time a lil bit so they can enjoy the Fantasmic Show and Fireworks to wrap the day up.

Levi is very jealous of Diavolo’s Doc McStuffins autograph.  Somehow Asmo has Buzz Lightyear’s number.

Day 2: Animal Kingdom

Satan is vibrating

He literally instantly sprints to the Kilimanjaro Safari.  And good for him; that’s something best done while the sun isn’t high up.  The whole gang actually agrees to check that one out, and while Satan isn’t thrilled to be within 50 feet of Lucifer, he’s glad Simeon is there because he remembers how his presence lured animals out in Australia.

Simeon also finds himself pulled along the trails by Satan and parents watch in horror as a gorilla gives him a friendly pat on the back.

If you didn’t know, Animal Kingdom is divided into the two continents of Asia and Africa, as well as the secret eighth continent Avatar (2009).  Diavolo heard great things about the Flight of Passage ride, but he totally forgot to tell Barbatos about it, so they’re stuck on a three hour wait line now.

Levi takes Luke on the Everest roller coaster because Simeon saw it in the distance and looked like he was about to cry.  Levi wouldn’t shut up about how the yeti effect needs to be fixed and Solomon had to explain that the effect literally couldn’t support itself.

Simeon, having escaped a roller coaster for the first and only time on this trip, grabs lunch with Lucifer and Solomon and they enjoy the Lion King performance together.  Solomon’s the only one of them who’s seen the movie, but the others still found it fun.  Solomon keeps making up random plot points that don’t exist, though.  Remember when Simba was captured by pirates?

Mammon found the Bugs Life show very scary.  Normally Asmo would laugh at him, but he’s afraid of any bug he’s never seen before and at least Mammon was afraid of the things that were supposed to get you.  They agree that bugs are still not their friends.

Satan has many things to say about the Dinosaur ride and most of them aren’t good.  Belphie thought it was pretty ok, though.  Lucifer can’t believe there was a sobering lesson on a global extinction event at this family-friendly amusement park.

Diavolo is still in line.  Barbatos abandons him.  He accompanies Luke to the kiddie fossil thing and actually finds it more tolerable.  Oh yeah that’s the other secret ninth continent, Dinoland.

Beel and Belphie spend most of the day together at the various petting zoos.  Belphie comes back knowing more than he ever wanted to about conservation.  He thought Rafiki’s Planet Watch was going to be about watching other planets, not this one!

Asmo gets very interested in the costumes of the performers, as well as the parrots in the bird show.  He could probably make some really colorful designs with those as inspiration.

Nearby, Mammon runs into Kevin and squawks in surprise.  The zoo staff spend the next two hours trying to find the bird that escaped.

Diavolo says the ride was worth it, don’t worry.

Honestly this park has a lot of stuff that wouldn’t translate well to a funny scenario post so this part might be a little short compared to the others.  I can only talk about a zoo for so long.

Anyone remember the Honey I Shrunk the Kids 4D show?  Apparently it closed in 2016 to make room for more Star Wars stuff.

Anyway, at the center of it all there’s the Tree of Life, which is really pretty all day.  Lucifer is thrilled to have a decently obvious meet-up place, too.  They get to catch the brief awakening show at night.

They’re very bummed to learn the Rivers of Light show isn’t happening anymore, so Levi pulls it up on his phone so they can watch it in spirit.

Then Satan learns about the Wilderness Explorers badges and the others spend the rest of the time preventing too much collateral damage over the fact that nobody told him.

Day 3: Epcot

Finally, Lucifer thinks.  Boo, Luke thinks.

Beel didn’t expect this park to be that interesting to him (he’s much more into the wonder and immersion of Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom), but then he learned about the restaurants.  China, Norway, France, Mexico, Germany, Morocco, Italy, Japan, Canada--Canada?  Huh.  Canada.  There’s so many different restaurants from so many cuisines to try, and yeah he knows that it’s definitely not the same as going to the place and it’s overpriced (sorry Lucifer), but it’s all right there.  He makes certain to take MC on a deluxe Epcot restaurant tour.

Oh yeah MC.  That’s the first time we’ve heard from them in a while.  They’re doing whatever you want them to I guess.

Levi buys so much from the Japanese gift shops that he has to go back to the hotel for a bit to drop his bags off.

Satan and Diavolo aren’t much better, but their stashes are more varied.

Also, Diavolo found Mouse Gear, and bought everyone a pair of ears.  Lucifer says that everyone has to keep them on because it’s what Lord Diavolo wants, but he is by far the most upset about them.  Mammon snaps a picture and Lucifer throws his DDD into the lake.

Asmo and Belphie decide they’re gonna take it easy this day, and they nab Solomon and Barbatos for some exhibition hopping.

Luke finds Mission Space and please father no Simeon thought he was safe he thought he was safe here no please

Aside from that, though, Luke honestly finds this part of the park boring.  He’d have been more interested in these attractions elsewhere, but as a kid he’s in Disney for roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

Simeon is very grateful that Luke doesn’t have much that he wants to do, because it means that he can enjoy the Gran Fiesta and Living with the Land boat rides and have a single moment where he doesn’t feel like he’s about to be sick.  He’s not even afraid of the rides; he just gets motion sick easily.

Asmo makes sure to see the Chinese acrobat show, and Mammon catches that with the show-hopping gang since there isn’t much he wants to do here either.

Epcot has alcohol and Solomon hasn’t been able to drink in ages so he really wants to spend some time doing that with MC.  No demons allowed, thank you very much.  He doesn’t hold his liquor as well as he’d like you to believe, but he just gets really talkative when drunk so it’s ok.

Epcot is a nice day to take a breather and Lucifer and Barbatos definitely needed a breather before tomorrow.

Day 4: Magic Kingdom

This is the day Diavolo has been waiting for.  The crème de la crop, the best park for kids and kids in a future king of the Devildom’s body.

Also I feel like now is a good time to mention that this probably isn’t a reasonable order of events because I don’t remember the map layout of these places idk Disney city planning

This time.  This time, Levi, Asmo and Beel are gonna get those autographs, dammit.  Levi doesn’t even know who half of these characters are but hell if he’s not getting their autograph.

Mammon actually really loves the mascots too, but he’s embarrassed about it so he’ll only try to get one if he can use the guise of MC wanting one.  MC, please help him out

Belphie isn’t big on rides, but he does have a soft spot for the more retro ones like Dumbo and Seven Dwarves.  And like I said before, Beel loves Magic Kingdom for its wonder.  So Belphie is perfectly happy being led (read: piggybacked) around by Beel today, because their favorite attractions match up pretty well here.

Actually, Beel’s favorite Disney movie is Lilo and Stitch, but.  RIP Stitch’s Great Escape ride 2004-2018

Diavolo and Lucifer take a moment to enjoy the Carousel of Progress, and they reflect on how much the Human World is always changing and how much about it they still don’t know.  It really does make them think, like.  Grandma found the VR games at Christmas!  The Devildom doesn’t have grandmas!

Mammon is terrified of the Haunted Mansion ride, and Satan has literally never felt so much schadenfreude in his life.

Mammon’s afraid of most rides to be fair, but he likes water rides, so Levi eventually takes pity on him and they go on Splash Mountain together more than once.

The Peter Pan ride broke down

Luke wanted to go on Space Mountain and Simeon was the only one around, so.  RIP Simeon ????-2021

Diavolo was That Guy.  If you know, you know.

Beel accidentally spun the teacups way too fast.  Not even Solomon got out of that one unscathed.

Following that, Solomon manages to drag Barbatos onto the Jungle Cruise while Lucifer is busy.  What is Lucifer busy with?  Riding the Buzz Lightyear shooting ride over and over until he hits every single target and gets a perfect score at a Disney ride, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.  Anyway, Barbatos finds it really charming and Solomon finds it a nice break that he didn’t know he needed.

While looking for a food place that sells water for a reasonable price, a kid runs up to Asmo asking for a picture and autograph.  He’s kind of confused, but goes along with it to make the kid happy.

Turns out, Asmo’s so naturally charming that they mistook him for a prince.  Other groups see that family and follow suit.  Mammon eventually catches wind of it and shows up to charge a fee.  The parents are pretty sure Disney doesn’t charge fees like that, but their kids really want a pic with Asmo so they hand over the two bucks.  (“Oh it’s so low” come on Mammon’s not a dick to children.)

And that’s the story of how Mammon and Asmo ended up in Disney Jail.  You’re very much not allowed to pretend to be a cast member and then charge money for it.  Lucifer has to bail them out as their “guardian,” and as punishment they aren’t allowed to opt out of It’s a Small World.

Small World isn’t that bad imho, and those like Diavolo, Satan, Simeon, and Levi would like it a lot.  But Lucifer has been playing parent all day, Belphie does not like the noise, and Solomon has literally been on this ride at least fifty times.  Very mixed feelings on this one, but it feels fitting to end with that and a fireworks show.

All in all though this wasn’t the worst trip Lucifer’s been on (cue everyone applauding for some reason).

Barbatos by far had the least fun of them all because for four days he was stuck in a park where the mascot is a fucking rodent and he wasn’t allowed to annihilate Mickey Mouse where he stood

“Disneyland Devildom when” “Lord Diavolo, no”

Masterlist

[purple-phantoms]

Happiest Place on Earth

Modern!Reggie Peters x Gender-Neutral!Reader, Luke Patterson x Alex Mercer

Based off of: #95 from my bucket list, Spend the whole day at Magic Kingdom

A/N: This was requested by @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic ! This is mostly going to be based off of research and memory. I’ve been to Magic Kingdom before, but only when I was 7 so I barely remember anything. In school a couple years ago I used to plan out which hotel I was going to stay in and which rides I wanted to go on lol. It’s such a shame that the pandemic had to hit. Also I’m basing this off of Disney World in Florida because I’m more familiar with that one. This is super long and not great, but hope you like it!

Summary: Y/n, Alex, Luke, and Reggie spend the day at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Y/n and Reggie stay together while Luke and Alex pair up. Both groups try to hide their relationships from the other, until everything magically unfolds.

Masterlist

For reference, if you’ve never been to Disney World and have no idea what the rides are, I’m including links to pictures I used to write this.

For “Peter Pan’s Flight”: Youtube video, Google Images link

For “Be Our Guest”: Disney World website, Pinterest image

For “Pirates of the Caribbean”: Youtube video

For “Splash Mountain”: TikTok from Pinterest, Youtube video

The warm sun rose on the concrete. Thousands of people lined up outside the gates to purchase their tickets for the giant themepark. Them and the boys waited anxiously. They were just about to get to buy their tickets but there was a giant family of 7 in front of them. It felt like years before they called the next people. It felt like centuries before they were allowed to enter the paradise. The four of them split up into pairs; Alex and Luke, and Y/n and Reggie. They wanted to go their separate ways and go on all the rides possible and occasionally meet up to get food and relax.

The first stop for y/n and Reggie was to Cinderella’s castle for pictures. Reggie dragged them by the hand to get as close to the castle, pushing past a lot of people in the process. In their bag was a polaroid camera. It probably wasn’t the best idea to bring something like that to a theme park where it could easily be misplaced or stolen, but memories, right? Y/n took pictures of Reggie first. He did some poses both facing away from the castle and facing the castle. Next was y/n’s turn. Now, y/n was smart. They bought some Disney related things way before the trip. They bought Mickey Mouse earrings and ears for their outfit. Y/n did the same as Reggie and took pictures facing away and towards the castle.

Next stop was to It’s a Small World in Fantasyland. Y/n and Reggie sat in the boat together and swayed to the music as they started moving in the ride. The animatronics were cool but really creepy at the same time. “What if one of those just exploded like in a sci-fi movie,” y/n laughed. Most times y/n was capable of correctly anticipating what would come next in a ride. They could tell that this was just a chill ride, but it’s always fun to imagine the unlikely.

“If that happens, you should just snatch one of them up, and then we just have to run,” Reggie smiled as they laughed. Y/n and Reggie were always the ones in the group who thought that way. Obviously, they wouldn’t actually do that, but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be cool if they did.

Next they went to Peter Pan’s flight. Peter Pan had always been one of Reggie’s favorite characters because of his youth. Obviously before getting in line y/n had to take a picture of Reggie. God, he was gorgeous.

The wait was longer than what they had expected but it was worth it. The scenery was a beautiful sight. When they finally got to the end of the line, they gingerly entered their cart. The ride was chill like the one they had been on before. Reggie kissed y/n on the cheek before laying his head on y/n’s shoulder as they travelled through Neverland. All the animatronics looked so life-like and accurate to the movie. It would be crazy not to take just a few pictures.

The pair got off the ride and went on to the next one, then the next one, until they got hungry. Reggie texted Luke and Alex to find a place to meet up. They decided on the Be Our Guest restaurant. Once they all arrived, they felt underdressed. The restaurant looked exactly how you’d expect it to if you were living in the castle. The walls and tiles were yellow and blue, and the ceiling was painted with a renaissance-like picture. 

“You guys seriously couldn’t have picked a more low-key place to eat?” Luke grumbled. This kind of thing had never been his style. He “hated” talking about the Disney princesses, he said they were too “feminine” for him.

“We came for the vibe, not the reality, loser,” Alex said. Reggie and y/n shook their heads. Sitting down for a little bit was quite refreshing. All 4 of them ate all the food they ordered, and it was a lot. But hey, they need their energy! 

They sat in a little silence as they waited for their bill to arrive. They were all ready to go on more rides, but also ready for a nap. It’s too bad they were only spending the day there. A kick to the foot knocked y/n out of their daydream. “Ow,” they shouted.

“Oh sorry,” Alex said. “Me and Luke are going to be right back.” Y/n and Reggie looked at each other and laughed.

“Reggie, get your friends,” y/n laughed. Alex and Luke had been like this for a while now, and it was a little weird.

“I think they just went to take pictures,” Reggie shrugged. Y/n laughed.

“Yeah, of each other’s lips,” y/n said. Alex and Luke being a couple was always a theory that y/n and Reggie would talk about. After all, most times movie nights are with a group of people, not just with one person. Well it’s not like y/n and Reggie could speak on that either. They didn’t want Alex and Reggie to know about their relationship because they just wanted to keep it to themselves. 

Then the couple pair came back. Alex looked completely normal while Luke’s shirt was super wrinkled.... like as if someone was grabbing at it.

“So where did you two go,” y/n asked with a smirk. Bothering Alex when he’s flustered was always a funny sight. He would never be able to say a single thing without chuckling or running his fingers through his hair.

“We uh-” Luke had to pause to think. “We went to go find a map.” Then he pulled one out of his back pocket, which he totally had way before. Le-let’s go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride,” He stuttered.

“Thought you don’t like that stuff,” Reggie smiled.

“Well now I do,” Luke said as he grabbed his stuff.

The walk to Adventureland was long, but funny. Reggie couldn’t stop talking about that one time he dressed up as Jack Sparrow for y/n’s costume party last year. The same costume party where y/n and Reggie expressed their feelings for each other. The same costume party where they purposely hid in the closet so that nobody would know that they were officially together. The same costume party that nobody knew the full story about. “Guys, it literally was like 7 minutes in heaven,” Reggie beamed. “I felt like I could’ve gotten married right there.”

“Hey Reggie, do you remember how we agreed to not talk about that party,” y/n lied. They never had an actual agreement. Y/n just thought that neither of them would get close to exposing the truth.

“No, y/n,” Alex put his hand up. “I want to hear this one.” Y/n gave Reggie the look, hoping he’d understand and stop talking. He didn’t.

“Are you and this person still together,” Luke asked. Stop egging him on!!

“Obviously,” Reggie smirked as he put his arm around them. 

“WHAT!” Alex and Luke yelled at the same time.

“I knew it, I knew it!” Alex cheered. 

“Can you guys shut up?” Y/n grumbled.

“Yeah, are you guys going to get on the ride,” the operator asked. Woops.

“My bad, y/n,” Reggie whispered. 

“It’s fine,” y/n said.

“It’s not fine,” Luke yelled. “This is huge, why didn’t you tell us?”

“You know what, Luke,” y/n turned around to face him. “In this ride there are probably real skeletons being used as props. If you don’t leave me alone I will donate yours to this ride when you die.” Luke sat back in his seat and fell silent. Saying things like that always worked with the guys. 

When they got to the battle part, Reggie reached to hold y/n’s hand in his. Y/n squeezed his. They weren’t mad at him, they already knew Reggie was an airhead. This would have happened one way or another.

The four of them decided to go on Splash Mountain next. Y/n did this on purpose. They knew none of the boys knew that they’d get splashed on the ride. Perfect payback.

“Luke and Alex, I think you guys should sit in the front for this one,” y/n smiled.

“Why,” Alex asked.

“What, you don’t want to be the first ones to see everything,” y/n said sarcastically. The two boys shrugged in response. 

They got into the raft with Luke and Alex sitting in the front and Reggie and y/n sitting right behind them. “So why are they sitting in the front,” Reggie whispered to them.

“It’s so that they’ll get splashed the most,” y/n laughed. And they did. On the first drop, they were moving their soaking wet hair out of the way of their eyes and screaming profanities. It didn’t help that there were little kids on the raft with parents yelling back at them to stop cursing. Y/n and Reggie sat back and laughed as their friends got soaked.

Luke and Alex were mad when they got off the ride and saw that y/n and Reggie were completely dry. “Y/n you did this on purpose,” Alex shouted.

“Yeah, I did,” y/n laughed. “So when were you guys going to tell us that you were dating?”

Alex and Luke’s jaws looked like they were going to hit the floor. “How did you know?” Alex asked

“You guys literally left us to go make out,” Reggie pointed out.

“Riiiiight,” Luke blushed.

“Yeah, so Reggie and I are going to go do ‘official couple’ things like go find Mickey and Minnie,” y/n smiled. “Let’s go, Reg.” 

Taglist:

@flashoe @carnationcreation @camihoran00 @joyjoyner @prongsy-parker

Add yourself to my taglist!

[denkineptune]

being luke’s parental figure- general hcs

♡ a/n i made this out of pure love for everyones’ collective child, luke. i feel like he doesn’t get love a lot, even in the celestial realm. with how strict he is about rules and morals and such, i feel like lots of other angels wouldn’t like to hang around him. also do not sexualize babey because he is just that- babey

♡ this was very self indulgent and nobody asked for it, so read if you wanna. i was very scared to post this since it’s me first actual post. feel free to give feedback!! 

♡ fic details: gender neutral reader, headcanons, sfw (don’t write luke as anything but), fluff, ~800 words, edited not well 

so you and luke started getting along after the lucifer/beel drama

baby was so grateful that you stepped in to protect him from lucifer

luke would never admit it, but even though he reported directly to archangel michael, he was fucking terrified of basically every demon

for a few days after the griot incident, luke stuck to you like glue

i mean like he literally clung to your RAD jacket and pretty much refused to let go

he’d always have at least one hand in a death grip on your shirt

he would go to all your classes and skip his own because babey was so scared he would be put in danger again

eventually, he loosened up and wouldn’t hold your jacket

he still wanted to be near you, though

he felt comforted around you but couldn’t really explain why?

you felt warm and welcoming in a way that the celestial realm and his fellow angels didn’t

it was something luke had never experienced but he’s beginning to think it’s like how humans have parents or siblings

he is still very confused about why he likes you so much but it makes him happy so he’s not really complaining

he likes to hold your hand a lot

his hand is s o f t 

he is prideful, very similar to lucifer

he is proud of being an angel because of how humans portray them

he’s not above embarrassment, though

he refuses to hold your hand around the brothers or diavolo and barbatos

luke will still lace his pinky with yours or pinch the bottom of your sleeve

this angel loves baking! he’ll want to involve you with baking in some way

whether it’s baking with you, having you taste test, decorating, or just being in the kitchen with you, he wants you there with him

he won’t call you any sort of special name, except maybe a nickname

this is because of, you guessed it, his pride

do not, for the love of god, tease him

he doesn’t take it well

luke does not like when he’s made fun of, so if you do he feels hurt and betrayed

he will still come back to you after a day or so 

please be careful around him

defend him!! don’t let the brothers push him around or mock him

also don’t call him “chihuahua” it makes him pouty :((

honestly sometimes it’s hard to be friends with him

he may be thousands of years old, physically

but his human age equivalent is 10

so please be patient with luke

he still doesn’t really know what he’s doing in the devildom

anyways, boyo is a cuddling legend

if you’re ever in purgatory hall please be prepared to stay for hours

when luke finds you sitting down on, say, a couch

he WILL come and sit next to you

it’ll start out with you two on opposite sides of the couch

then he’ll come closer, gradually

as if in some kind of gravitational pull

he’s comfy and will not move for hours

expect him to fall asleep within like 45 minutes

you may have to carry him to bed

he’s actually really light??? you don’t know if it’s because he’s an angel, or because he’s small, but he’s lighter than the average 10 year old human

luke is brutally honest

i mean he’s always kind of intense for, basically a kid, but if you tell him about your day (bc he’ll always ask)

luke will provide his thoughts whether you want him to or not

sometimes he gives really good advice

other times it’s just “you shouldn’t hang around demons in the first place”

you try to get him to open up to demons

starting with beel

luke already kinda trusts beel so it doesn’t take long for luke to warm up to him

he’s very prejudiced so it will take longer than your stay in the devildom, but he’s a bit less serious around demons thanks to you

he really likes you

considers you his best friend

he thinks you may be an angel in disguise??

like how can a human, of all people, be so kind?

luke is the n i c e s t  he’ll give you candid compliments in an effort to make you feel nice about yourself

completely out of the blue, the literal sweetest things

as in “y/n!! your hair is nice today!” or “you’re so nice to me” and “i like hanging out with you” 

honestly you may have a heart attack being around him he’s so nICE-

he enjoys going to restaurants with you 

you show him movies from the human realm like disney movies

he likes lilo and stitch and he cries every time

please make sure you reassure him because he is very easily anxious and worried about you

but that’s just cuz he loves u

all in all everyone is kinda jealous like who wouldn’t want a friendship like this?

and diavolo is HAPPY AS HELL that his exchange program is working so well

there is harmony between people from two different realms!!!

all in all, you and luke are adorable and everyone should envy your relationship sorry levi 

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

how would you do a percy jackson adaptaion?

okay, so I know this is a controversial opinion right off the bat: I really don’t think it should be an animated series.

A large part of the appeal of the series is that it’s a fantasy series set very very firmly in reality. Literally, apart from the camps, you could go to every location hit in the books. Riordan mentions specific streets, buildings and landmarks, and that was cool when I first read them. I remember being a kid and waiting for him to set a scene in a place near where I lived! I remember trips to New York and being able to envision an epic war happening in the streets. So I think any adaption needs to be live action just to keep that same feeling alive, while I’m not knocking on animation, I just feel like taking the story out of real life would make it loose a little of the charm. Like, the scene where Manhattan is completely frozen in time? It would be haunting to see that in real life, but I feel like it would be less impactful if it didn’t…you know…look real? The series should be done in a way that makes you truly feel like you could just turn a corner and walk straight into a snake woman going about her day. 

Now: another large part of the appeal of the series is how funny it is, but a lot of that…is Percy’s inner monologue. He doesn’t actually voice most of it, there was even a book where Annabeth described him as being quiet. So, I think the best way to work around this: make it Interview With A Demigod. 

Imagine it’s got an interview with a vampire-esque setup- and this even works because within the riordanverse, the books canonically exist because Percy sat down with a ‘camp scribe’ and had his quests recorded. So, like, this isn’t even entirely out of left field. But just imagine, a college-aged, maybe a little older Percy, I can see it so clearly in my head, he’s wearing a sweatshirt that at first glance looks like it says NYU but a trained eye will see it actually says NRU for a camp jupiter easter egg, he’s sitting in some dinky little diner (maybe it can even be a monster donut or something with a clever greek myth related name) with a guy who’s recording the conversation on some old-ass tape recorder that keeps acting up but they can’t record on a phone because of the whole technology thing. Every now and then it’ll cut back to them to get some great Percy thoughts out there. They open with older Percy saying the ‘look, I didn’t wanna be a halfblood’ and then explaining where he was when the whole mess started. Once he get’s to “was I a troubled kid?” the screen fades from older Percy to 12 year old Percy getting in a fight with Nancy and her gang, and the voice over says the ‘Yeah, you could say that’ part as we see him get threatened by the principal to behave on the field trip. Boom, we’ve got an opening. Lowkey….I’m seeing Jordan Fisher as older Percy, but I’m not 100% married to the idea. 

And before anyone tries to argue that showing an older Percy would spoil he’s not gonna die in last olympian- like, reading the books, we all knew he wasn’t going to die. It was a first person narrative and he was consistently speaking in past tense lmao like we Knew he was gonna make it. We still enjoyed the series. It won’t ruin anything.

I want part of the score of the adaptation to be instrumental versions of songs from the musical, I think that could be a sweet nod to that team. 

They really need to nail camp halfblood. I know that goes without saying, but in order to keep the pacing of the story decent we can’t spend as much time falling in love with it like we got to with the book. The book is like, 24 chapters and the quest starts at chapter 12- for a movie or tv show, that’s just gonna feel like it’s dragging. So, the insanity of the camp needs to smack you in the face right away, and then it needs to endear itself to the viewers quickly after that. Don’t try to ease the viewers (or Percy) into the mythology is real thing, rip it off like a bandaid. He’s on his way to meet Chiron and Mr. D for the first time and even if he’s not comprehending what he’s seeing, there’s nature spirits and harpies all around going about their day. Hestia waves at him and then disappears into the flames. Hecate kids can be seen casting a spell on the porch of the Hermes cabin. The Stolls are seen pranking some Aphrodite kids. He sees someone surely die on the climbing wall but then you hear a faint ‘I’m okay!’. The Apollo kids put a rhyming curse on another cabin. Pure chaos all before he gets the ‘so, gods are real’ speech. And then after that…show how warm Luke is to him at the cabin and at dinner. Show the kids all goofing off at the campfire and really make it clear that they’re children. Show the strawberry fields rolling in the wind and Percy sitting on the beach. The whole couple weeks where he’s searching for powers and learning greek and latin with Annabeth can be a montage. Make it clear how hurt and scared he is when he finds out he needs to leave.

It needs to really get you feeling how Percy’s feeling, every laugh, every tear, every moment of fear or confusion needs to shine clear through. Like…think of Spider-Man Homecoming, the Washington monument scene. All things considered, it’s not the most high-stakes scene we’ve ever seen in that franchise, and when it cuts to the kids in the elevator, they’re worried but not quite freaking out, but that scene feels very high stress to watch because the movie is good at getting the viewers to feel what Peter feels. A Percy Jackson adaptation needs a touch like that, because Percy’s a very emotional kid and that’s what a lot of the scenes hinge on.

Lowkey- I’d love it if the casts of both the previous movies and the musical had cameos or bit parts (the movie cast did Nothing Wrong, it was the rest of that team). It’d be hilarious to see, like, Jake Abel as the owner of the poodle, or Logan Lerman as Older Percy and the reporter’s waiter that keeps trying to get in on the conversation, or Brandon T. Jackson as a satyr who’s still stuck grooving out in the Lotus Hotel and Casino. Kristen Stokes as a nature spirit, Chris as one of the ghosts stuck in the waiting room of DOA Records, just like any of those casts having small parts would be fun and sweet. 

There should be a lot of easter eggs for the bigger riordanverse. Promotions in the background for the new Tristan McLean movie. Gabe’s got a true crime documentary about the missing Grace children playing during his poker game. Mr. D is reading a paper about Rachel Dare’s father’s newest project. At some point while they’re still in New York they pass the Kane family’s mansion or whatever it was called. Annabeth keeps a picture of little her and Magnus on her nightstand. The barest of hints about the Triumvirate. Seeing kids in camp jupiter gear in some background shots, just out of notice of our main characters but implying the camps are going through similar problems (BITCH….if we got a titan’s curse adaptation…and we had a shot of Thalia in the foreground….but in the background we saw a blond boy in purple with a golden sword….well I would simply loose my Goddamn mind).

And show us how easily the mist lets things blend in, too- like, everyone thinks ‘Monster Donuts’ is just a normal chain, it’s just on an average street block, but if Percy looks through the window he can see who’s behind the counter. Show someone swindling some guys in a park and you have to look twice to realize he’s a gegeines. Like…how people are still trying to find all the background ghosts in haunting of hill house. I would LOVE to see a bunch of background monsters and mythical beings just going about their day as much as the mortals are while the gang’s questing. 

The effects need to be fun. The whole story needs to be fun, but one weird thing about the past movies are that like…in their attempt to make it gritty, none of the fantastical things happening on screen actually felt that exciting. We need bright colors and interesting choices, consistently cool action shots, a liveliness that makes you feel like you’re in the center of the action. I have absolutely no doubt Disney easily has enough funds to pull off great effects.

The characters need to be….in character lmao. Annabeth needs to be cocky and bratty with the skill set to justify it. Percy needs to be a sweetheart who pretends to be hardened because that’s what people assume he’s like. Grover needs to have dry humor and a Too Old For This Shit attitude whenever percabeth start bickering. Luke needs to be nice and friendly but in a specific way that you can look back after the betrayal and see he was trying to groom everyone. Sally needs to be loving, protective and strong. Chiron needs to feel defeated and determined at the same time. Mr. D needs to….be Stanley Tucci lmao

Also, I’d love if the adaptation could expand more on things that got brushed along in the books- Percy and Beckendorf’s friendship, Silena and Clarisse’s dynamic, make Nico’s crush on Percy a little more obvious, give Rachel some more development. One thing that haunts me about the books is Sally never found out that Gabe hit Percy. Absolutely they don’t need to make the abuse explicit, but I also personally feel like a lot of Percy’s mindsets throughout the series are somewhat a result of Gabe, and I’d like if that got, you know, acknowledged. Maybe in the scene where he figures out Gabe abuses Sally he could say ‘does he hit you too?’ or something to that effect. They could also go more into detail about Annabeth’s family, give Zoe some more depth….like the possibilities I’m screaming.

Okay this is already long and I’m getting tired but I can so clearly see a great adaptation in my mind….Disney please come through….It’s what we deserve…. 

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/4/21

yeah yeah yeah may the fourth be with you whatever this is mostly me rambling disjointedly about the bits and pieces of star wars i crammed into my weekend

i think the star war that is the best-made and most watchable on a technical level (including script) is ESB. however, AOTC is my fuckin favorite bc there’s so much fucking nonsense happening all the the goddamn time. incoherent movie with too many sidequests but it all looks sick as shit

my personal history with star wars is: watched it (like many other movies) juuuuust a little too young with my dad as a Bonding Activity (to the silent fury of my mom) but unfortunately got Really Into It. reading expanded universe novels (nearly all of them, i have almost two hundred of them in boxes in a storage unit) was the thing that kept me alive through high school. never really got into the comics, didn’t pick up any of the post-disney-nuking-the-expanded-universe novels. was horribly disappointed by the sequel trilogy and solo. rogue one is all right. however, the mandalorian (weird and cheesy as it is, also i am not immune to pedro pascal) really got me back into this stupid fucking franchise. so i have been taking a rambling walk through things that i remembered liking. all my fun star wars facts are old and outdated but they sure all do live in my brain

listening ‘General Grievous’ off the ROTS soundtrack. this is i think the beginning of my love for heavy low rumbling undercurrents? would not say this has a ‘groove’ per se but there is definitely a forward momentum. love some ominous brass. love the williams panic-spike strings. LOVE A DANGER WARNING LEITMOTIF

god u listen to the original + prequel soundtracks and then listen to the sequel soundtracks (as i have been doing during working hours for the past week) and i get really sad. should have let him retire in peace. he doesn’t have a ton of gas left.

anyway this is the bit of the movie where obi-wan shows up on utapu (the cool sinkhole planet) with the big lizard bird to fight grievious btw. good fight. why does he flirt with the big robot man when he’s already in a enemies-to-lovers flirtationship with asaaj ventress RIGHT AFTER the duchess of mandalore died in his arms??? who can say. grief makes people do weird things.

undefined

reading rebel heist (2014, kindt & castiello). these are some of the few loose single-issue comics i own bc i love the covers so much. i hate dealing with bagged and boarded comics bc they’re a pain to store and they’re honestly a pain to read. gimme a trade paperback any day please. rereading these, i liked them less than i remembered- it’s a cool conceit of following an ordinary person in the rebellion as they get caught up in luke & leia & han & chewie’s schemes, and things of course do eventually turn out fine but not before all these regular people go UHHHH WHAT THE FUCK? WTF WTF WTF NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR at some classic skywalker nonsense. can i just say how much i love these covers again tho

watching star wars: the clone wars ran from 2008 to 2020. i watched the first six seasons with my siblings on starwars.com for most of its run, bc there was a brief period of time (i forget whether it was two days after or ten days after) when you could watch each episode for free and we didn’t have cable until well after i went to college.

the second season is where it really starts to hit its stride- i haven’t gone back to watch anything as an adult but i remember liking a lot of the episodes from this season. as an adult, it’s pretty horrifying to realize how fucking stupid the clone wars were from a loss of life and material gain standpoint.

there’s a two-episode arc about the zillo beast, a big kaiju critter, and i only had enough time to watch the first one. the have to protect the oil planet (sorry, i’m getting a note in) so sorry the FUEL RESERVES on the oil planet, so they drop a giant EMP two miles from the city center, but this isn’t a planet with people that look like humans so it’s fine! the important thing is that the fuel is okay.

anyway, this episode is lovely and moody- this is such a stiff-looking show and wreathing everything in cool purple mist and making sure the silhouettes look good is really doing a lot of the work here

look i just really like this framing. the jedi on a stage above everyone else, waist-deep in blood already from the months-old war, the hint of an imperial symbol in the cannon dish, anakin & mace separated by an interior wall and separate hatches. i’m reading too much into season fucking two of the clone wars but i just think it’s neat.

yes!!! starship fuel SHOULD be bright radioactive green!!! star wars is mostly about things looking sick as shit and it’s part of why i am the way i am now

ok i fucked up on this last screenshot but look. LOOK. this is some peak nonsense right here love it. mwah. star wars is at its heart a melodramatic pulpy swashbuckling science fiction adventure and it gets weird when it forgets that

playing i own fallen order bc it came for free with my pc but i have not cracked it open bc it seems like an assassains creed, a style of game that fucking infuriates me. also i own no other star wars games so this section left intentionally blank

making i make one of these things a year now i guess. this one is finally for me.

[pixiegrl]

57 from the prompt list? -megs 💕

Hi megs (@igarbagecannoteven) This took me a bit but here is it! some Cake for your lovely prompt!

Heart eyes when the other talks, sings, dances, argues, does literally anything especially things which others make fun of them for or find annoying

This is also a part 5 to the Coffee Shop Soundtrack series

On ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31854391

Calum’s just a little in love. He would venture to say it’s more than a little bit, but he’s worried that it’s too soon really. He’s only been dating Luke for a year now, and he’s already so in love with him. He can picture a whole life with Luke, spending everyday waking up next to Luke, in the kitchen with him, curled up on the couch and pressing kisses to his shoulder. There’s no end to any of their lives together, only endless possibilities and first times and love together. 

He can picture their future, moving out of the little apartment they share now into a home together. Luke’s still not sure what he wants to do after grad school, but Calum can picture him playing in an orchestra. He can see him playing professional for whoever he wants to. Filled to the brim with talent and excitement. Luke insists he’ll probably be a teacher at a university somewhere. Calum can picture that too, Luke coming home with papers to grade and performances to watch, the two of them curled up on the couch together with Petunia between them, commenting on his students. Calum can picture a home with a garden and a big kitchen for both of them to spend time together. He can picture an extra room for Luke’s instruments, for him to have music lessons or to just play in. Calum pictures getting another dog, having their own little family together.

For now though, they’re sitting in their apartment together. Luke’s teaching Calum to play guitar. They’re having a quiet afternoon with Michael and Ashton. Luke had broken out the guitar, offering to teach Calum while Michael and Ashton ended up in the kitchen trying to make snacks. Calum’s sitting in Luke’s lap, hands overlapping with Calum’s on the strings as he guides Calum through the song. It’s just an excuse for them to hold hands really, giggling with each other as they pluck at the cords. Luke’s resting his chin on Calum’s shoulder, laughing whenever he gets the wrong chords and pressing kisses to his cheek in apology. Calum doesn’t mind too much about the teasing, as long as he gets to spend time with Luke, doing something he loves. Luke spends so much time in the kitchen with Calum, watching him cook or bake and asking for Calum to teach him. 

“Okay, okay, we should stop before my fingers start to bleed,” Calum says with a laugh as he plays a sour note. Luke pouts a little, but nods slightly, resting the guitar next to them on the couch and hugging Calum to his chest. Calum sighs happily, burrowing back. He’s smiling, happy and warm in Luke’s arms as he starts to trace little shapes on his tummy. They sit in silence with each other, soft sounds of Petunia snoring and Michael and Ashton arguing in the background. Calum thinks he might doze off for a little bit before Ashton’s heavy foot falls startle him from his light sleep.

“I’m picking the movie. I don’t trust any of you to pick something that isn’t a superhero or a Disney movie,” he says, standing at the edge of the couch. He stares down at the guitar and back up at Luke and Calum expectantly. Luke nudges Calum on the shoulder. Calum turns around, sees the wide eyed pleading look on Luke’s face.

“Oh come on,” Calum whines a little. Luke puts on a mock pout.

“Pretty please?” he whines a little, widening his eyes even more. Calum sighs heavily, detaching himself from Luke’s arms and pushing himself to stand. His knees and back pop a little, sore from the position he’s been curled up in.

“This is only because I love you,” Calum sighs dramatically. Luke beams, tilting his head back and pursing his lips. Calum leans down, pressing a kiss to them. He hears Ashton huff and roll his eyes next to them.

“Stop being so in love and go help Michael. He’s going to burn the popcorn,” Ashton says, sitting down on the couch once Calum takes the guitar. Calum huffs, flipping him off as he takes the guitar to its stand and heading into the kitchen. 

Michael’s standing at the microwave, watching the popcorn going around and around in it, little popping noises from it. Calum comes to stand beside him, glancing over at where Luke is on the couch, trying to snag the remote from Ashton’s hands, whining when he holds it out of reach. Calum smiles, heart melting a little at his laugh.

“You’re doing it again,” Michael says. Calum startles, glancing over at him. Michael’s looking at him intensely, eyebrows raised.

“Doing what?”

“The heart eye thing. Where you stare at Luke like he’s the center of your world,” Michael says. Calum blushes a little, glancing back over to where Luke is sitting.

“He is,” Calum says. It surprises him how honest and real that sentence feels. Luke is the center of Calum’s world, as cheesy as it sounds. He likes to think about Luke throughout the day, text him funny pictures and things, make treats at the bakery that he can bring home to Luke. Calum 

Michael turns to him, a surprised expression on his face. 

“Is he?”

“I think I’m in love with him. Wait...not think. I know. I know I’m in love with him. I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, Michael.”

“God don’t get all sappy. I hate it when you’re sappy,” Michael says. There’s no heat to his words, just a soft smile there. Calum sighs, blushing again and glancing away.

“You’re just as bad,” he mumbles, glancing back at the microwave.

“If it helps, he does it with you,” Michael says after a pause. Calum glances over at him, brows furrowed. 

“Hm?” 

“The heart eyes. When you turn around, he stares at you like you hang the moon in the sky. He used to gaze at you all forlornly in the cafe until you started dating. He looks so happy whenever you’re in the room. You both always look so happy and in love. You guys have created this perfect world here. It’s easy to see how happy you both are,” Michael says. Calum smiles, blushing as he looks away.

Calum glances across the apartment, the photos lining the walls, the bits of their combined lives that are laying around the apartment, cookbooks and musical instruments, gaze landing on where Luke’s sitting on the couch. He’s curled up in the corner, leaning against the armrest. He’s laughing at something Ashton’s said, knees tucked under his chin as he smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners. Calum’s heart swells just looking at him. He can picture this image forever, Luke with grayer hair and laugh lines, curled up on the couch, trying to pick something to watch and demanding Calum come back to the couch to keep him warm. He can picture getting to do this in a house instead of their tiny apartment, Petunia huffing on the other side of the couch when Calum comes over and jostles her. 

“Just propose to him already,” Michael says, pulling Calum from his thoughts and rolling his eyes. Calum smiles.

“I’m trying to find the right moment. I want it to be perfect.”

“You asking will make it perfect. Luke loves you. He’ll be happy just to marry you,” Michael says. Calum hums, glancing from Michael back to Luke.

“I will. I will,” he says. Michael squeezes his arm, smiling before heading off into the living room to add to the discussion about what to watch. Calum follows after him, stopping at the edge of the couch. Luke immediately makes space for Calum on the couch, letting him wedge himself into the corner and letting Luke snuggle up into his chest, sighing happily. Calum taps Luke on the shoulder, pressing a kiss to Luke’s lips when he tilts his head back up. Luke smiles in the kiss, making a happy, surprised noise in the back of his throat.

“What was that for?” Luke asks, giggling. Calum smiles, ducking down to kiss him again. 

“Just cause I love you.” 

“You’re too sweet to me,” Luke says, smiling. He bumps their noses together, rubbing them slightly. Calum pulls back, grabbing onto Luke’s hand and squeezing. Calum can see it on Luke’s face, if he looks close enough. The sparkling in his eyes, dimples indenting his cheeks, the little happy sigh he does when he’s holding Calum’s hand. Calum can see the little heart eyes that he’s making at Luke, the ones that Michael said were easy to spot. They’re there as he snuggles Into Calum’s side, nuzzling his shoulder, and making a happy little noise. Calum leans down to press a kiss to his temple. 

“Never too sweet for the boy I love.”

“I love you too. You know that right?” Luke asks, tilting his head back, concern on his face. Calum presses a soft kiss to his lips. 

“Of course I know that. Besides, who else is going to put up with your cold feet and terrible cooking besides me. You have to keep me around,” Calum says, laughing when Luke smacks him. He’s sure both he and Luke have the sappiest looks on their faces as they snuggle back together, listening to Michael and Ashton argue over what movie to put on, but he doesn’t care. There isn’t anywhere else he would rather be with then here, with the love of his life.

[randomeditscreates]

Ready for a rant on The Rise of Skywalker, because I fucking forget some of the things I want to say, so let's continue

#1. Jar Jar Abrams must've hated Rian Johnson movie, because not only does he fix Anakin Lightsaber, but Kylo's mask, and if you remember it was both destroyed when Holdo does the Holdo's maneuver. So both Kylo and Rey must've really wanted these pieces so bad, they manage to get all the pieces. Oh don't forget when Rey went to 'The most unfindable place'[ actual quotes from TLJ, holy crap!] When Luke Skywalker catches the lightsaber, he says and I'm not shitting you, 'A lightsaber deserves more respect' RIP to TLJ remember when Luke literally chucked the lightsaber, Jar Jar really hated TLJ.

#2. Oh and on the mention of the Holdo's maneuver, because apparently Holdo is a hypocrite. Remember when Holdo kept yelling at Poe for his fuck ups, as it's bad odds, because apparently her move was a one in a million chance! And don't give me the crap that it was only Holdo's chance, because don't you remember the OT [Original Trilogy] where they can just jam their ship into other but I guess lightspeed jumping right at the ships was the best choice!

#3. Rose Tico wasn't in this movie and honestly I was pissed, because as much as I loath the writing in TLJ[The Last Jedi] I found her character interesting and someone they could develop but JJ doesn't even remember this character, she has to scan ship's interior structure. Can you tell why I hate this movie, they don't fucking develop anything, and its the last movie.

#4. Poe Dameron character was also destroyed in this movie, remember the fun loving character from the Force Awakens, well apparently he's always grumpy because that doesn't completely destroy his basic character. Then again, Poe is just another example of a meat puppet, they have no motives or personality, they just have to do what the director wants them to do.

#5. For anyone who is trying to defend this movie or heaven forgive, the characters, can I please ask you to rewatch the OT and then try to make those comments again. I have no qualms of people having opposing views but I will state my views and you can either agree or disagree, it will not affect me in any way. But I will not except people using the Issues of The OT as an excuse for the the New Trilogy, the issue's in the OT are either miniscule or don't ruin the movie going experience, for the New Trilogy it does!

#6. I just had to let that go as I make an amend, The writer of the ROS did state that Ashoka Atonna, was in fact dead but she could appear in other Star War product, I honestly don't care because she's not gong to be the same, but I will admit to my mistakes, that her death allegations are more on the fritzs.

#7. Kylo Ren finds out that Palps is apparently the voice of Darth Vader in his head, and it doesn't completely shatter his world because if you don't remember, Kylo is doing all of this to live up to the legacy of Darth Vader. So Anakin didn't try at all to tell Kylo that it wasn't him, and totally abandoned his family okay. But I will admit I found the scene cool, if only it wasn't in this movie.

#8. I don't remember if I mentioned this but Hux, my God! He was awful in this movie, he's the spy and we don't get any reason besides Hux hates Supreme Leader Kylo. Really I think Jar Jar was just pissed off that his character was turned into a mockery, so he just placed him as a spy to place the hero on their journey and help them when Finn and Poe were about to get executed. It would make sense if Hux tried to destroy the First Order from the Inside, as he would still hold his power, but what do I know

#9. Lando appears, for Fan service because what other type is there for this trilogy. And not only does he kill a random villager, and no gives a fucks about it. But he's also fucking here, he just decided to live here after his and Luke's mission, how many years ago? What about Bespin, the place you literally sacrifice the Rebellion for. We find out that Leia had notified Lando about their arrival, but that brings another question, why didn't Leia told them to meet Lando as he literally the only person who has more information on the Wayfinder. But who cares because his entrance was awesome, and Star Wars were all about the battles, it was definitely not because of the characters and relationship, no it was definitely the pew pew aspect of it.

So I read the Colin Trevenou, or whatever his name is, script and honestly I really enjoyed it, of course it's just the basics, but the concepts seemed interesting and wasn't copying the OT. It was both original and made sense within the expanse of both the SW world building and even the two movies before it and honesty I wished they could make his version into a movie, I think I could at least enjoy it. But hey, that's not how the cookies crumbled.

Now of course Dishonorable mentions!

DO is voiced by Jar Jar Abrams, but also he's just there to give Sith information to the heroes.

An actual Honorable mention- George Lucas appeared in this movie, and one second of him was just a masterpiece, but seriously I just want George Lucas to buy the property of SW again

Back to dishonorable

Kylo chokes slam one of his followers into the ceiling because he questioned the fleet of ships Creamy Sheeve[ Palpatine] is willing to give him, because Kylo can't except anyone challenging him.

The stupid scene of everyone but the characters were supposed to be connected to, mourning Leia death, just cut it out and keep the one with Poe, for God sakes. It so simple.

The plot Armour these walking infections are carrying, literally they cannot die even when one explodes, how is anyone invested in characters who we all know the director won't touch because they're the hero? [Except of Finn, he deserves so much more than this bullshit!, also come on Disney, you can allow a lesbian kiss why can't we pair Finn and Poe?]

How did Palpatine get his resources, as Exegul, is stated to be a desolate place? Did he just steal resources, if so? Why is there no mention anytime of missing people, and resource, I know Jar Jar and Ruin Johnson doesn't like world building but come on how does half of the things you write work! The last time we saw these characters, the heroes won! They shouldn't be the minority or not know anything at all?

But who cares it's just a stupid Star Wars movie, right? I will make one of these for FA and TLJ, just you wait, those two movies are not spared of criticism.

[ghostofbrock]

I’m drunk, remember when you needed me?

never in a million years did mattia think he would have to be the strict parent yet there he was grounding luke for getting into trouble at school. mattia always thought that he was going to be the fun parent, the parent that his kid could tell anything to and bond so easily with.

luke’s school called both of his parents which haven’t spoken or seen each other since the little intervention at the cosentino household. they only talked through text which was mainly about the kids schedules and stuff like that, nothing else.

sara and mattia stood outside of the school with luke, talking about what his punishment should be and what it not should be. as usual mattia wasn’t cooperating with sara’s suggestions and didn’t listen to anything she had to say.

“he can’t control his actions sometimes, mattia! you know that so don’t be so harsh on him.” sara clenched her jaw. “but he knows better! and he’s getting too old for that ADHD excuse, sara. you can’t always blame that for his behavior!” mattia raised his voice at her.

“for fucks sake, mattia, the doctor even said the ADHD is the reason he has bad behavior and can’t control it sometimes!” she reminds him. “we have to be there for him when he struggles with it, mattia. not punish him.” sara adds making mattia roll his at her.

“it doesn’t even matter anymore, sara. you’re leaving in a few days so you won’t even be here most of the time.” mattia scoffed at her and folds his arm over his chest. “you’re right. so tonight i’m taking the kids and i’m not taking them back to your place until the day i leave. so for right now luke is coming with me.” she holds luke’s hand and smirks at mattia who had steam practically coming out of his ears.

“like hell he is!” mattia tries grabbing luke but he moves away from mattia’s grip. “you can’t do this. we had an agreement, sara.” mattia sighs in annoyance. “mattia, calm down you’re acting like it’s the end of the world.” sara rolls her eyes.

it feels like it since we aren’t together anymore.

he thought to himself.

“you sure you want to go with your mom?” mattia asked his son with a stern look. luke looks up at his dad and nods, slowly going behind sara to hide from mattia who was starting to scare him.

“what a momma’s boy.” mattia mumbles to himself.

“fine. you two have fun doing whatever you guys do when i’m not around.” mattia gave them a sarcastic smile before harshly giving luke’s backpack to sara. he walks off, pulling his hair as he does so and walks to his jeep.

sara and luke walk to her car, hand in hand. once they get into the car, the eleven year old breaks down.

“i-i’m sorry, mommy. i didn’t mean to upset you.” he sobs as she wraps her arm around him. “no, baby. you didn’t upset me. your dad did.” sara sighs as she messes with her son’s hair to sooth him. “don’t ever think that i’m upset because of you.” she adds and kisses his little head.

“i don’t like living with him anymore. i feel trapped.” he confesses. “why?” sara asked. “he’s so strict and mean. i don’t like him like this. i miss how things used to be.” his words were breaking sara’s heart.

she had no idea her baby was feeling this way. usually her kids tell her everything, but now it feels like they can’t tell her anything because they’re either scared or just don’t want to worry her.

she also wanted to defend mattia since luke called him mean which wasn’t true at all. mattia is and will never be a “mean dad”. he’s just strict so his kids won’t end up in the streets in the future and wants what’s best for his kids. they’re too young to understand him but eventually will understand him when they have their own kids.

she brushed off what luke said and changed the subject.

“let’s grab some mcdonald’s for lunch and then head to my house, yeah?” she asked making a little smile appear on his face. “as long as i get a happy meal then i’ll be fine.” he remarks making her chuckle before starting her car.

they got their food from mcdonald’s and went to her house after. they ate, watched movies and luke showed sara some dances he learned from dance class.

“not to brag or anything, but i’m learning some of those tik tok dances dad did when he was younger.” luke laughs as he places his hands on his hips. “so you gonna show me or what, lukey?” she asks with a laugh.

the next thing you know he’s doing the renegade and sara’s dying laughing on her couch while her son does the renegade better than mattia, alejandro and kairi did.

“okay, you’ve officially got it in the bag.” she smirks at him while he turns a shade of pink on his checks. “now i think it’s time to pick up your brothers and sister, yeah? maybe we should build a blanket fort and order some pizza and watch some disney movies tonight.” sara suggests with a warm smile.

“you really are the fun parent.” luke comments before putting his shoes and jacket on. it was almost five o’clock when sara arrived at mattia’s house where her kids were waiting for her on the porch with huge smiles on their faces. mattia had a frown whilst leaning against a pillar with his arms folded over his chest. he stood up, telling the kids to go ahead and kissed them each goodbye before they went with their mom and drove off with her.

mattia let out a sigh before turning in his heels and walking back into his house. he went into his kitchen and opened his pantry to see what he would make for himself for dinner. he observed all the food yet he wasn’t one bit the hungriest. he thought to himself for a moment, he reached into the pantry and moved the box of cereals at the top out of the way to show bottles of liquor in the way back that he had hidden there.

for the record, mattia hadn’t had an once of alcohol in his system for almost a year thanks to his sponsor he met at a rehab center once he and sara split. mattia was supposed to throw out every bottle of alcohol he had in his household and he did for a while. then when he’d have little get togethers with his close friends or his parents and younger brother, they’d bring liquor or wine as some sort of offering or gift for the little gathering. mattia kept them out of sight and hid them where his kids or anyone else wouldn’t find them besides himself.

he was pulled out of his thoughts by his phone ringing in the island in the kitchen. he puts the cereals back on the top shelf quickly and closes the pantry before getting his phone and answering it.

“hey bitch ass, me and kairi got permission to go out tonight and we were wondering if you wanted come with us?” alejandro’s voice came from the other side of the phone. “where?” mattia asked with a sigh. “that new bar they opened up like two months ago. robert said that it’s pretty good and they play all of the throw backs. so me and kai wanted to try it out.” alejandro explained.

at the moment, mattia really didn’t want to go out, he wanted to be left alone. that’s how he’s been feeling lately, the need of wanting to feel alone. he feels like he deserves it as a form of punishment to himself for what he did to sara and what he told her. the hate for himself grew ever since the day he kissed her which was something he needed.

“you still there?” alejandro asked when mattia wasn’t responding and got lost in his own thoughts. “uh yeah, sorry i zoned out for a minute. but yeah, i’ll go with you guys. just send me the addy.” mattia said as he cleared his throat after. “great. see you there.” alejandro responded before hanging up.

mattia changed out of his sweats and into some jeans and a polo shirt before leaving his house. he pulled up to the bar and went inside looking for his best friends.

“over here!” kairi’s voice yelled was heard from the other side of the bar where he and alejandro were sitting at. mattia walked over to them with a small grin.

“this place is kind of a vibe.” mattia lightly laughed as he looked around the bar. there was color changing lights on the ceiling, a glass counter at the bar, posters of movies that came out in the early 2010’s and of music artists from 20 years ago. it was definitely something that looked like it came straight out of the 2010’s. either way it was mainly for people from that generation.

“it really is. i feel old.” alejandro laughs. “anyways, let’s get this night started yeah?” alejandro smirks at his best friends. “first round is on me.” he adds.

“dude, you know i don’t drink anymore.” mattia says through gritted teeth. “and i’m not forcing you to. i’ll get you a water if you’d like.” he winks at mattia before walking off to go get some drinks.

“how does it feel to not have one once of jack daniels in your system, tia?” kairi asks as a joke. “oh shut up, kai.” he rolls his eyes playfully in response. as the night went on and the good times occurred, about two or three hours the trio had been at the bar, a familiar face come into the bar looking pretty and lonely.

mattia nor his best friends payed attention to anyone at the bar since they were just there for each other and wanted a good time with the boys, that’s all it was going to be.

so when the boys broke out into laughter at the table they were sitting at, a few people glanced at them but not for long. however, this particular girl stayed staring at the three before she realized who they were. she drowned the shot she just bought minutes prior before walking over to them with a smile filled with confidence.

“oh my god, hey guys.” they all snapped their heads to face her. she wore a yellow tube top with a white mini skirt with her hair curled. “oh hey, kristina.” mattia said slightly awkward. kairi and alejandro immediately felt the tension between kristina and mattia and were going to find out why as soon as she leaves.

“you know her?” alejandro asks. “yeah. she’s ellie’s cheer coach.” matti explained making alejandro and kairi glance at each other. “what are you guys doing here?” she asked with a warm smile.

“it’s boys night.” kairi answers before taking a sip of his beer. “which means it’s just for the boys so... bye.” kairi said rudely which caught mattia off guard.

“bro, don’t be rude. she’s really chill.” mattia defended her which made ale and kairi even more curious in why mattia was defending a girl who wasn’t his wife, mother or daughter.

“pull up a seat. you can sit with us so none of these creeps will think you’re alone and vulnerable.” mattia told kristina with a smile which made her blush. meanwhile alejandro and kairi got even more pissed since it really was boys night and they wanted to spend time with each other. plus, alejandro and kairi are still with their wives and if the paparazzi were to barge in and take photos of them with kristina then their wives would kill them, literally.

“it’s really weird seeing you guys together in person. i remember i used to be obsessed with all of you when i was a teenager.” kristina comments. “really? why?” kairi asked which made mattia shoot him a glare.

“who was your favorite?” alejandro asked out of curiosity and took a sip of his beer. “at first it was you, alejandro. then i lost interest for some reason and went to mattia’s lane.” alejandro chocked on his beer. “wrong pipe.” he managed to say as he coughed.

“well you made the right choice. i am more handsome than these two.” mattia jokes making kristina laugh with a blush on her cheeks. kairi rolled his eyes and alejandro shook his head at how.... flirty the two were being towards each other.

“mattia, can i talk to you for a second?” kairi asked his best friend. “why? if you have to say something then say it out-“ kairi didn’t let mattia finish his sentence and instead he got up from his seat and dragged mattia away and took him outside of the bar.

“what in heaven’s sake wrong with you?” he yelled at mattia which caught him off guard. “chill out. i have no clue what you’re talking about.” mattia laughed but stopped when kairi shoves him.

“yo, what the hell?” mattia asked.

“why are you flirting with her? you two fucking on the low or what?” kairi asked in frustration. “what? hell no.” mattia answers immediately.

“she’s just a friend, kai. you’re being dramatic.” mattia rolled his eyes. “me? dramatic. i’m trying to help you, mattia!” kairi yelled.

“help me? what do you mean, help me!?” mattia raised his voice, panting as well.

“i’m trying to help you save your marriage because apparently you don’t give a shit about it! you walk around here like nothing is wrong, when it is! your family is falling apart and you don’t even know it! i hate to be the one to tell you this, bro, but if you don’t fix things with sara and your kids then you’re going to lose everything that you’ve worked so fucking hard for! and if you keep this shit up with not only kristina but with other women then i don’t want to hang around you anymore. sara’s not only your wife but she also a sister to me and alejandro. she plays a huge part in all of our lives yet you’re willing to let it go for some chick who doesn’t even know your middle name. seeing you with someone else besides sara feels like i’m betraying her. she’s been through so much and the fact that you’re not there anymore to comfort her sucks. and i get it, you guys might not get along anymore but deep down i know you two miss each other so damn much. i can tell you still love her and she loves you too. she’s the only girl who’s given you the chance to have a family of your own and more, why let that all go, mattia?”.

kairi pretty much lashed out at mattia which caught him off guard. reality had just hit mattia once again like a lacrosse stick to the head. mattia grabbed kairi’s arm before speaking.

“mind your own business. the shit that goes on in my life has nothing to do with you so stay out of it.” mattia was being stubborn which made kairi let out an annoyed sigh.

“you know what, bro? i’m done. i’m done trying to be a good friend to you and your family. i’m leaving.” kairi scoffed at his best friend and shrugged him off. he then walked away and got to his car. and if things couldn’t get worse, alejandro barged out of the bar with a stern face. he shot mattia a death glare before walking passed him and to his car.

mattia stood there and watched them drive away before going into the bar again. kristina was still sitting at the table where the boys were sitting at minutes prior. she sat there awkwardly but then it all washed away when mattia sat back down next to her.

“what happened?” kristina asked as she placed her hand on his shoulder. “nothing. it’s not important.” mattia answered lowly. “well in that case, let me buy you a drink?” she smirks at him.

mattia wasn’t thinking anymore at this point. he needed closure and wasn’t getting it so he nodded because he didn’t want to feel things anymore and that’s what the alcohol always provided him.

it always took the pain away.

the two chatted and shared a few beers together until mattia realized how late it was getting. he definitely was drunk but he could care less. he up from his stool but was pushed down by kristina.

“come onnn, just a little longer.” she slurred and licked her lips. “naw, i-i can’t. i have to get home.” mattia rubs his temples and moves away from her grip. “mattia, baby, just one last drink and i’ll take you home.” she got closer to him and whispered in his ear. he got goosebumps down his spine but not the good kind. it felt wrong to him, even though he was drunk he wasn’t wasted enough sleep with her.

besides, he couldn’t do that to his sara.

“no. i appreciate the company but i want to go home.” he forced himself to say and let out a burp right after. she then tried grabbing his hand and placing it on her ass but he immediately moved his hand and pushed her away harshly.

“what the fuck is wrong with you? i have a wife!” he raised his voice at her making a few people turn their direction then looked away. “a wife that doesn’t love you anymore? yeah, she’s a keeper.” kristina laughs at him for being pathetic about sara’s love for him.

“she’s a worthless whore, mattia. when are you going to realize that?” she added with a scoff. mattia apparently become a little bit more sober once he heard what she said about his wife which boiled his blood.

“the only whore i know is you, kristina. sara is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life, she’s more of a woman than you’ll ever be. and if i hear you say another bad thing about her then i won’t hesitate to tell your boss that you tried sleeping with one of your cheerleader’s parent. got it?” he said through gritted teeth and with smoke coming out of his ears because of how mad he was.

there was no way he was going to let anyone talk bad about sara, together or not. he wouldn’t let that slide.

all kristina did was nodded and whimpered when mattia let go of her harshly.

mattia doesn’t know how but somehow he drove safely to sara’s house. the whole way there he couldn’t stop thinking about her. about how much he needed her right now because he had no clue what to do. his best friends are mad at him and are willing to end their friendship if he doesn’t get things together and some girl tried hitting on him. not only that, he touched her which made him feel disgusted with himself.

the kids were in bed, the blanket fort was cleaned up and put away for the next time they built it again, sara was cleaning her dinning room table which had empty boxes of pizza and empty cups that once held juice for her kids during dinner.

she heard a knock at her door which scared her since it was now passed midnight and no one in their right mind would be out this late. she walked towards her front door and checked the peephole to see a drunk mattia at her doorstep. she did a double take and checked again because she thought she was going crazy. once she realized that she wasn’t going crazy and that he was actually waiting for her to open the door she mentally prepared herself for anything that could happen.

she opened the door slowly, he looked up at her and his vision blurred with the tears that were dwelling in his eyes the moment he saw her.

“mattia, what are you doing here?” she asked softly. he didn’t answer her, he simply walked into the house and plopped down on her couch. usually, sara would’ve snapped at him for coming into her house and acting like he owned the place but no, she didn’t snap. instead, she went to sit next to him and observed his drunk state.

“i thought you weren’t drinking anymore.” she said quietly. he took a sip of his beer before speaking to her.

“i wasn’t until i needed something to take the pain away.” he answered but before she could respond he spoke again. “i promise this will be the only time i drink again. i’ve just been having a hard time getting through this.” he gestured is hands between them.

“why’d you come then?” she asked.

“because i needed to see you.” he answered bluntly. “i needed to see you so i could at least feel the tiniest amount of comfort.” his voice cracked slightly. her jaw dropped and she didn’t know what to say. she wasn’t expecting him to say that as all, how was she supposed to respond?

they sat in silence for a moment before drunk mattia spoke again.

“i’m drunk, remember when you needed me?” he turns to face her but she was already staring at him with tears in her eyes. he hated seeing her cry, it hurt him a lot to see her like this.

“don’t cry, baby. you’re too beautiful to be crying.” he leans over and wipes her tears away with his thumb. “too beautiful.” he repeats as he wipes her tears.

“i’m sorry for doing this to us. i promise i’ll fix it.” he adds and looks into her eyes. “we’re gonna get through this.” he moves a strand of her hair behind her ear gently. he looks at her like she’s his entire world and she is. always has been and always will be.

he pulled her into him and held her as she cried into his chest. they didn’t talk at all once she stopped crying. they fell asleep together on the couch, mattia holding her close as if she was going to slip away from him. holding her close as if he was protecting her from the monsters of the world.

for the first time in months, they slept with ease. plus, sara didn’t have a nightmare.

and when she woke up in the morning, he was gone.

[hamliet]

Hello! Have you seen TROS yet? [Spoiler alert] I was really devastated by the ending - coming out the theater feeling upset and disappointed. Do you have any thoughts on it? Or maybe any plan to write fix-it fic? Thank you!

I am seeing it tomorrow. That said, I’ve read the plot summary, and no good execution can save that. So I was planning on posting this after I watched it with amendments made as I hope to enjoy it, but I’ll just post it now and amend this as necessary based on the film as I see it. (I still believe I will enjoy the film, even if I don’t think it’s a good film. I do think that. I really do... I hope.)

BASED ON THE PLOT SUMMARIES ALONE (grains of salt everywhere!): 

I think it’s technically… messy writing at best and downright bad writing in other parts.* 10/10 it’s a blockuster-y, JJ Abrams-esque, (hopefully) fun, messy narrative movie that will be forgotten in 0.3 seconds.

Disclaimer before everyone comes after me: if you like it, AWESOME. If you think it’s good writing, great! Good writing and bad writing are inherently subjective; that said, there are general consensuses among literary studies about what constitutes bad and good writing. Hence, I’m relying on those consensuses when I call it messily written.

Before we get into specifics, I’ll compare it to two other major pop culture endings: Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame.

TROS is similar to the GoT final season in that it attempts to incorporate every aspect of fan speculation ever. However, it’s more like Endgame in that it is still somewhat true to the themes and characters—but unfortunately also like Endgame, it is not transformative or particularly interesting as a story on its own. In fact, it’s rather boring and honestly… bad storytelling. It tries to rehash Return of the Jedi but it doesn’t succeed in any way because the world and the overall story has grown since the early 1980s, and so the same story doesn’t work anymore.

Showing a cyclical story remaining cyclical with no sign of that breaking–instead, the cycles are even reinforced–does not give optimism nor does it give hope.

Redemption=death needs to die already. If we really want to reach people and tell them that the message is that you can always make a better choice (as Daisy Ridley and JJ Abrams have said about Kylo’s arc), maybe don’t send the message in each and every story that you have to die to redeem yourself. Look outside of cultural secular Calvinism, for the love of God and the betterment of the world and stories as a whole.

Now let’s talk Rey’s parentage.

We know Rey Palpatine wasn’t planned from the beginning (Trevorrow, the original write/director of IX, who was thankfully fired, said that he never planned for Palpatine to return), which means Rey’s parentage was most likely retconned from TLJ and there was no real plan for the sequel trilogy’s overall character arcs (save for Kylo’s, according to the actors and writers).

Listen to me. You don’t have to have everything planned when you start a three-film saga, but you gotta know the major beats.

This is like a sad game of movie telephone. 

Yes, I know the OT Star Wars didn’t have a plan either and it’s like one of the only examples I can think of where no plan worked out–albeit not without hiccups (Leia kissing Luke, anyone?) If you expect lightning to strike twice in the same place, I’m sorry, but you are hopelessly naive.

Having Rey decide she wants to carry on the name Skywalker at the end is lame as shit. It’s a way to appease fans while being like nah she still isn’t related. Trying to please every fan is a sure way to guarantee that you will please no one. It might make for a perfectly pleasant film experience (I really hope it does), but not good, lasting storytelling (though not like, horrific either). It’s meh. It’s like… giving someone who is starving oatmeal. It will get the job done but will it satisfy and enthrall people? Not quite.

And let’s switch gears for a minute to Finn and Rose, my first and third favorite characters in this trilogy (Kylo is second, Rey is fourth). The sidelining of Rose is nothing short of a terrible attempt to please the white-supremacist-aligned Fandom Menace. Let’s not pretend it’s anything else. JJ’s lipservice about how wonderful it was that Kelly was cast at SW Celebration is, in hindsight, absolutely nauseating.

Shame on JJ. Shame on Disney.

But the main problem I have with this film is this:

Why did it need to exist?

The answer is money. Obviously. I know, I know stories exist to make money. That doesn’t mean I can’t criticize the fact that the story was sacrificed on the unholy altar of capitalism and Disney’s desire to own our souls. (Disney–the reason I like your movies is that a lot of them are good stories. I’m not interested in pandering soooooo.)

The Rise of Skywalker does not enhance the Star Wars narrative. Nothing about this film satisfies the Skywalker Saga nor the sequel trilogy, and it kind of all comes down to Kylo Ren’s death being the nail that sunk the entire world of Star Wars.

Keep in mind Kylo is not my favorite character when I’m saying this. Finn is. But I never spoke about Finn as much because the story didn’t utilize him properly. I never had concerns about Finn getting a happy ending while I was worried for Rey and Kylo’s arcs. (Finn’s arc, however, did have a ton more potential than was capitalized on; in particular, he would have been better if he was more conflicted over say, shooting other stormtroopers. His whole character humanized the usual red shirts, which when paired with Rose’s everywoman character, had so much potential I could shriek about it all day. That he didn’t lead other brainwashed stormtroopers into rebellion and freedom saddens me. Also, his ending again seems to bring about a good victim/bad victim dichotomy when it is compared with Kylo’s. The reason these two are my faves is that they were brainwashed as kids which, well, I can kinda sorta heavily relate to.)

Kylo Ren and Rey’s relationship doesn’t really get much better than it did in The Last Jedi. It actually rehashes that arc significantly. We already knew Kylo would fight for Rey and the galaxy, so… how was this different? Now, if he had lived, it would have been different, because it was the after the fight that proved that Kylo wasn’t ready to redeem himself in The Last Jedi. It was Kylo’s choice to stay at the expense of Rey and the Resistance that was literally the set up for conflict in the next film. This… turned it into nothing? Their conflict is rehashed and then whoo-hoo! Easy way out! Kill him so that they don’t have to deal with the “after” this time! They never have to deal with the conflict literally set up in The Last Jedi.

That’s bad writing, fam.

Life is infinitely more interesting. Leaving the story open with a living Skywalker instead of killing literally everyone involved with the Skywalkers except Rey who now adopts that name is… so unsatisfying I can’t even. Even if later material shows him showing up as a Force Ghost, like: cool saw that with Vader so this… adds nothing to the existing films. It doesn’t really reconcile anything.

It also… does not help the Rey=Mary Sue argument. She is NOT a Mary Sue, and that is a sexist term itself, but in no way is it a satisfying ending to her arc, because it isn’t a well-written ending which means it isn’t a well-written arc. The problem with Rey’s ending is a mirror of my problem with Kylo’s ending: it’s the very much a combination of her ending in The Last Jedi and her life before The Force Awakens.

She and Kylo are now separated (permanently this time).

She’s has her Resistance friends.

She’s alone on a desert planet.

But wait! Now she’s now happy!

Uh, why? The only reason I can think of is that the narrative demands it. Because honestly, what changes? The family she chose–the Skywalkers–are just as dead as her Palpatine birth family, soooooo. I suppose she reconciled with her heritage and come to peace with it and so that’s why she’s happy now, but… I can’t lie. It’s not hopeful. It’s not optimistic. It’s not Star Wars and it isn’t consistent for the message (especially if this is supposed to be the ending to the saga!) to be both:

life sucks for the Skywalkers and then they die–seriously, look at Shmi, Anakin, Padmé, Leia, Luke, Han, Kylo–it is LITERALLY ALL OF THEM; and

deciding to be a Skywalker means you’re at peace.

I can only assume Rey’s life will suck and then she’ll die, tbh, unless of course she is better off because of her blood… which negates the point of her being a Skywalker and is a really gross idea.

YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH IN YOUR ENDING. PICK ONE.

Rejecting the Skywalkers would be anti-Star Wars, for sure, but marrying into them as a way of bridging the unfinished pain between Anakin and Padmé and Leia and her father? Much better. Or just leave it open. Honestly, leave it open for Kylo and Rey to both be alive and see each other again.

But you’re just upset your ship didn’t get a happy ending!

No, I’m upset about the storytelling, of which shipping is a part. A canonical part just as much as the lightsaber fights are. Anakin and Padmé. Leia and Han. Finn and Rose. Poe and Zorii. Rey and Ben.

The Force created Anakin, remember? All films–even the spin-offs–encourage our heroes to trust the force. “May the force be with us.” But the Force created an ENTIRE FAMILY THAT LIVED LIVES THAT SUCKED AND MADE LIFE SUCK FOR EVERYONE AROUND THEM AND THEN THEY DIED.

May the Force stay far the f*ck away from me, amen.

But seriously I can’t trust the world of a galaxy far far away or its narrative anymore. It’s a contradiction that causes all nine films to unravel. Why?

Again, let’s return to my earlier GoT comparison, because there is one thing TROS does that is more similar to GoT than to Endgame: Endgame drew together a bunch of unique distinctly separate stories into a crossover. TROS, just like GoT, relied on cliffhanger, incomplete endings to its films and therefore the ending matters a hell of a lot more than a stand-alone story.

I’m not dying to rewatch it like I am with stories where I realize I might learn more the second time. And by “rewatch it” I mean the entire nine-film saga. Knowing that canonically Leia, Luke, Han–they all die and their last descendent dies, the last descendent of Padmé and Anakin–for me, it’s personally gonna be hard to watch again. It’s gonna be hard to watch TROS going into it the first time.

And so the saga of bad endings continues.

Game of Thrones remains the worst at a -100 out of 10. It’s followed by Tokyo Ghoul:re which is still 2/10, and Star Wars is, on paper (meaning after I see it I am hoping it rises a few notches) now… 4/10. Endgame is a solid 6.5/10.

Banana Fish, sweetie, I’m sorry you were ranked down there. Your ending is a 7/10 but the rest of your story is like, 10/10 so you are sprung from this list.

Help me, Shingeki no Kyojin. You’re my only hope.

[incorrectquotes-randomthoughts]

(This is so long I’m sorry but I had to rant cause honestly I’m scared )

I literally made a post the other day about how we have to welcome in new fans and treat them equally but truth be told? I’M. NOT. FUCKING. READY

Bitch bitch bitch I mean I’mma have to stand this kids hardcore shipping Luke x Annabeth ???? Or Luke x Thalia ???? SIS they’re SIBLINGS wth Annabeth realized it later on it changed there was an arc.

Like this fandom closed the discussion on Luke’s redemption arc and the way he is and his motives we agree we have opinions but we’re FINE. Are you telling me ma boy is gonna be played by some hot teen (he is older) and 12 y/o’s are gonna be biased and I’m gonna have to yell at them across a screen cause they’re gonna act like Luke is a saint !!!!??

THE SHIPS. FUCKFUCKFUCK. BoTL Percy spent worried about Nico and if it’s done properly we’re gonna have all that worry face first and no one’s gonna be able to ignore it like the AMOUNT OF PEOPLE who are gonna say that’s OTP. I mean SHIT.

I haven’t even been in the [internet] fandom for that long like how I’m I supposed to go against this people who were here before me I mean they LEFT but what arguments do I have !?!?

The amount of people who only read pjo and went BYE like I can’t bring HOO up in discussions wdym????? How I’m I supposed to talk development and change and character arcs and what would they do in certain situations if you’ve never heard of them ????

I’M NOT READY

Y’all wanna know something terrifying? The maze runner fandom. Because there’s so little creators out there who actually love it the way I do and so much of it is obsessed with Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Newt I haven’t been there since I finished the books I couldn’t stand it. And I can’t stand the fact that our Percy actor is gonna be good-looking and I’m TERRIFIED of the amount of people who are gonna be here for what the actors look like you can’t understand this.

I MEAN all them debates are coming back up I can’t do this. This is such a fantastic fandom (and I’m in many, trust me) like we’re all at peace there’s no arguments you can literally come by and just vibe.

OH FUCK ANOTHER THOUGHT. So since we’re getting official characters and stuff I swear if ONE IDIOT hates on viria’s or Livibis’ or Markiehh’s art (they’re the one’s at the top of my head) because it’s “inaccurate” or “far off” from what they look on screen they better watch the fuck out because they have no idea the fandom they’re messing with.

OH AND SHIT I know this has been brought up but the way we treat Nico??? All baby and soft and all that and how our fanon Nico is just so different from the actual canon kick-ass Nico, ya know? But we kinda understand how powerful Nico is but we still love him cause poor kid was 10 and then all of it happened and he was 13/14 (?) during tlo and the PTSD so we’re chill with that BUT. There’s the fact that our son is gay and god the amount of people who are gonna come in (cause there’s obviously gonna be foreshadowing) and be like “ooh gay baby look at him” that’s badly explained but I know you guys understand. And specially if we get to HoO and the horrors getting to ToA would be. Like we already have our fanon Nico but if someone DARES to even IMPLY that Nico can’t kill you with a thought the entire fandom know better and will prove them wrong. But the new fans what would they know.

You know what’s going to be fucking horrible ???? PARENTS. I mean UGHHHHHH. My parents only know I’m reading what I tell them I’m reading (“a book about Greek mythology”). Like I’m terrified of my mom picking up The Burning Maze sitting on my desk or any Cassandra Clare book cause the homophobia in this household is astronomical. (Don’t know how many of you will understand but the PANIC I went through reading the red scrolls of magic? God knows she would check every book I get form the library from the on) Back to the point sorry. But y’all pjo is mostly safe but Rick already talks about how parents complain about adding a Genderfluid character to a Norse mythology book (I mean Ma’am go educate yourself) and how his books “would be more successful without [gay] characters” ???? What if we get Kane Chronicles some asshole is gonna come up about Sadie being polyamorous, Alex and Magnus are gonna be a problem, Will and Nico, House of Hades is gonna make Karens riot because of one scene.

You can see how Disney treats Seblos (hsmtmts) compared to the other couples on the show. You can see how not even half of Andi Mack is actually on Disney+ (after getting brutally canceled) you can see how Diary of a Future President hasn’t been renewed when it’s reviews are 100% for both critics and public. How the Love, Simon series was removed (now on Hulu) because it wasn’t a good mix with “the family-friendly content on Disney+” (underage drinking + s*x are brought up in discussions but the show isn’t out yet and we have no idea). So pardon me for being scared of how this is going to be treated.

Back to the new fans. I’m gonna say the topic that’s the most brought up that causes discussions is Leo (?) Tbh I’m still lost on the Leo x Echo thing that everyone else seems to understand. Plus the hate on Caleo is probably the biggest issue in this fandom. (Which is like saying the biggest problem in a perfectly written essay are some barely noticeable erase-marks, but still). Anyways a fair amount of people dislike Leo for reasons I kinda comprehend. I know a kid and he’s the exact definition of Leo, (I’ll probably talk about this in an individual post) and people don’t like him, I know most of you would avoid him. I know he’s great but people just don’t seem to like him.

(wOw i’M sO gOOd aT sTaYInG oN tOpiC)

I don’t think I’m gonna be able to survive hate on characters that probably WILL come.

Solangelo is called rushed a lot and I would want to see this two fall for each other and Nico let down his walls and talk about his PTSD from Tartarus (which friendly reminder Percy saw for a few minutes the way Nico saw it the whole time and it was the worst part of his entire experience there). But I mean there WERE six months between BoO and ToA, I am pretty sad we didn’t get to see them.

oH JESUS follow-up on Nico earlier; the fetishization, or Apollo, or Will.

Ok... ha, this is fun....

OH WAIT NEW THOUGHT SJDJDJD On the topic of Luke’s redemption arc... BIANCA,, they better do my girl properly who thought she had stayed months at the Lotus Hotel babysitting her lil’ brother and then was put into a school where they were outcasts and she probably knows as much as Nico about mythomagic from his rants and she thought he was gonna be safe and she wanted freedom and be her own person so she joined the hunters. And as a fandom we’ve talked this out but what about the new fans, they better not try to act like she did anything wrong cause that’s just not-

OH AND no one better hate on Clarisse cause yeah she’s the minor antagonist but she’s a very well-written character who doesn’t change the way she is but is kinda less of an ass towards Percy. And she and Silena are good friends and she and Chris are dating and she is a human being with valid feelings. She was terrified for Chris in BoTL and cared for him and nurse him back to sanity and stayed with him. She throws Percy and Annabeth into the lake which so it’s prove she and Percy are more in the friendly banter I-won’t-admit-how-much-I-care-for-you-if-it-meant-my-life relationship. Then this doesn’t happpen until the last two books (seasons?) so we can’t actually go around saying it? In SoM we learn about how Ares treats her which is SO important so I guess S1 comes out and we sit here telling new fans “You’ll know next season” cause we can’t directly spoil it and then we’re like “You gotta wait for seasons 4 and 5” ugghhhhh this is too much.

Ok I’m done for now I’ll reblog this with any new terrifying thoughts when if they come.

[mst3kproject]

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Holidays, MSTies!  Your present is Episodes that Never Were are back!  Remember last year, when I said Elves was so bad I wished I’d watched the Star Wars Holiday Special instead?  Let’s find out what those words taste like.

The galaxy may be in the midst of a rebellion, but Chewbacca promised his family he will be back for Life Day, and god damn it, he’s gonna get there!  He and Han Solo dodge Imperial forces and asteroid fields on the way, but the real danger may be waiting for them at home, as Stormtroopers do a treehouse-to-treehouse search for rebel sympathizers.  It won’t be much of a holiday if Chewie arrives home only to be immediately arrested!

That sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  It even sounds like it could be made to mean something. There is perhaps a point here about inter-ethnic empathy – Life Day may be a Wookiee holiday, but Chewbacca’s alien friends still know how important it is to him and they’re gonna help him keep his promise.  We could also compare it to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.  In that movie, the Martians want to celebrate Christmas but aren’t particularly interested in what it means.  They get all their information about it from pirated television and from children who don’t understand anything much more than ‘free stuff’.  We didn’t give Christmas to them, they literally stole it by kidnapping Santa.  In the Holiday Special, the Wookiees are sharing their cultural traditions with outsiders who have become part of their family – Leia’s speech at the ends notes the humans’ respect for this.

But none of that’s relevant, because this is just a bad 70’s variety hour in a Star Wars costume.  We don’t get to see claustrophobic scenes of our brave heroes hiding from the Storm Troopers.  We don’t get sweeping space battles or bickering robots or weird new planets… we don’t get anything we go to see Star Wars for.  Instead, we mostly watch the Wookiees sitting around their house passing the time as they wait helplessly for Chewbacca to get home.  This could have been neat in itself if Wookiees had an interesting culture, but they live in a Mod 70’s Treehouse and seem to spend most of their time watching television.  The brief opening sequence, in which Solo and Chewie outrun their pursuers in the Millennium Falcon, is just a tantalizing offer of chocolate on the tip of a giant turd.

The actual point of the show, as far as the people who produced it were concerned, was the various little musical numbers and comedy sequences along the way, some of which are more Star Wars-themed than others.  Most of these are presented as one or other of the characters watching them on some form of television, which often doesn’t make any sense.  The sequences themselves are usually not very well-presented and a lot of them are just downright boring, so let’s go through them one by one. Top up your eggnog, folks.  We may be here a while.

Our first setpiece is a holographic circus featuring jugglers and acrobats, which the adults use to distract Lumpy so he’ll stop bothering them – like parents at the mall letting their kids watch Paw Patrol on a tablet while they shop.  When you see televised circus acts, they’re usually filmed up close and at interesting angles, to heighten the sense of danger, and give you a good look at what’s going on.  The Star Wars Holiday Special presents it as tiny figures on a table, always shot from far away and looking down, which removes all the drama from the stunts.  Lumpy enlarges a figure, but it’s only the ringmaster.  The others remain tiny, all while this little Wookiee looms over them like a kaiju that will start stomping if it isn’t entertained.

Then we get Mark Hamill’s cameo (in which he looks weirdly like one of the puppets from Invaders from the Deep), followed by Malla’s attempt to cook Bantha Surprise by following the directions on a tv show.  I’m not very interested in cooking shows anyway, but I have a hard time imagining anybody being interested in a fake cooking show featuring fictional ingredients from other planets.  What we see on Malla’s screen comes across as a sort of parody, but not actually a funny one. I’m tempted to think Harvey Korman must have been making fun of some particular 70’s cooking show maven but I don’t begin to know who that might be.

The ‘humour’ of the sequence is supposed to come from Malla’s attempt to follow the directions even though the cook on the show has four arms and Malla only two.  I could pull some commentary on ableism in cooking and cooking shows out of this, but it would be a stretch, and nobody on the writing end was thinking about it that hard.  It’s just stupid, and so is Korman’s plastic wig.  Malla eventually turns it off in frustration, long after we’re tired of listening to it.

By the way, if you’re wondering whose stupid idea it was to set the whole thing on Kashyyyk (or, as a guy in the Special calls it, Kazook) and not have any subtitles to the Wookiee’s dialogue?  That was apparently 100% George Lucas.  The actual script and everything was in the hands of the television producers, but Lucas would not budge on the premise being Wookiee-centric.  At least he exorcised that particular demon here, instead of subjecting us to it on the big screen.

Anyway, next Art Carney drops by to deliver some Life Day presents, among which is the source of our next setpiece: a VR machine which reads Itchy’s mind to present a personalized fantasy!  This takes the form of Diahann Carroll in a sparkly feather wig, singing a song and saying things like “I am your fantasy, experience me!”  The song is okay, I guess, and Carroll has a lovely voice, but what we’re seeing is basically a boring music video.  She’s just standing there on a glittery black background, and we can’t forget that she’s singing to a geriatric Wookiee who is doing the Wookiee equivalent of jacking off to this (emphasized by the appearance of literal little swimmers in part of the sequence!).  The fact that it’s a personal fantasy plucked from his subconscious makes it feel like this was something we weren’t supposed to be privy to, like we’re looking through somebody else’s computer at his girlfriend’s nudes.

Princess Leia (also looking disturbingly puppet-like… are we sure the actual actors appeared in this, and not look-a-likes in heavy makeup?) and C3P0 get their cameo, and then there’s the single actually effective moment in the Special.  This is when we think Han Solo and Chewie are about to arrive home, ending our torment a full hour early, but no, it’s the Storm Troopers!  This bit isn’t fantastic, but it does work.  Then, sadly, we’re on to the next variety act.

This is a holographic music video which Carney shows to the Imperial troops as a demonstration that the device he has brought Malla for Life Day is harmless.  It’s Jefferson Starship moaning out a rock song, in which I can understand at best one word in three.  The visuals are in intense soft-focus that’s probably supposed to be artsy.  The costumes (what I can see of them) aren’t any more Star-Wars-y than anything else bands wore in the 70’s.  And the song sounds like something you’d find in the ‘easy’ setting on Rock Band.  Why does Black Helmet sit there and watch the whole thing when he’s supposed to be searching every house on Kashyyyk/Kazook for rebel sympathizers?

The version of the Special currently available on YouTube, which tragically lacks the commercials, has a lot of comments along the lines of this is what you hallucinate after buying Death Sticks from that guy on Coruscant.

To drive the point home, the next thing we see is Lumpy watching a cartoon about Han Solo and Chewbacca crash-landing on an ocean planet while searching for a mystical talisman that makes things invisible (I wish they hadn’t actually shown this object – then I could have made jokes about it being the One Ring).  This sequence is generally regarded as the best thing in the Special, and it introduced Boba Fett and provided some characterization for him.  It is definitely true that this is the only segment with a plot, and with its weird aliens and grubby outposts it feels a lot more like Star Wars than anything else going on here.

The main thing that keeps me from enjoying this segment is that it just looks weird.  The animators use exaggerated squash-and-stretch on the droids, even more so than on the living characters, which makes them look like they’re made out of jell-o. Princess Leia looks like something out of a cheap 60’s manga and Luke like he was drawn by a twelve-year-old based on an action figure that wasn’t actually of Luke Skywalker.  Luke has no pupils, which is very distressing, but not as distressing as when C3P0 blinks.  Even worse, as far as I can tell Han Solo has no eyes at all.

The design of the alien planet in this sequence is pretty cool, though.  It appears to be entirely covered in a kind of goopy ocean and the creatures that live in it are neat-looking, even if not terribly plausible.  Animation is really a great medium for fantasy and science fiction, because it levels the playing field: we’re not thinking about the special effects because everything on screen looks equally unreal.  This is something Disney, who used it to such beautiful effect in Lilo and Stitch, totally forgot at just about the same time as they acquired the rights to Star Wars.  Oh, for what could have been.

I want to note here that the average review on this blog is about as long as what you’ve read so far.  We’re only about two thirds of the way through the Special, though, and I can’t really divide a holiday review up into two weeks.  Therefore, consider this your permission to take a break and go snag another latke or whatever you’re snacking on, and then we’ll continue.

There’s one fun bit of background social commentary in the animated sequence, too: the only way for humans to survive the virus is to hang them upside-down so their brains will get enough oxygen despite their weakened hearts.  In the city there’s an advertisement for the cure – and the upside-down human pictured in the ad is, of course, a woman in her underwear.  The image isn’t detailed and it’s not the focus of the shot, so I don’t think it’s an actual piece of gratuitous cheesecake.  Apparently somebody at Nelvana Ltd was just salty about the advertising industry.

The self-contained story in the cartoon makes sense within itself. It justifies Fett’s fearsome reputation far better than anything in The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, and the characters seem to be in-character even when they’re off-model.  The problem is with it as a part of the framing story about the Imperial troops searching Chewbacca’s house!  The Special is very explicit that this is not something that’s actually happening in the real world at the same time as the other events – it is a cartoon Lumpy is watching on TV.  Why, in a galaxy controlled by the Empire, would there be cartoons using the real names of real rebel operatives and presenting them as the heroes?  If nobody’s supposed to know Boba Fett is connected with the Empire, why does the show blow his cover?

More importantly, where can I get one of those awesome giant stuffed Banthas Lumpy has in his room?  I don’t know if that’s a real toy that was available in the late 70’s, but Comic Images does make something similar and you can buy them at Wal-Mart or Toys R Us.

While cleaning up the mess the Stormtroopers made of his room, Lumpy watches an instructional video of how to put together some kind of radio. This features Harvey Korman as an android who keeps getting jammed.  Like cooking shows, instructional videos aren’t very interesting unless you’re trying to follow the directions – since we can’t follow the directions, this one is pointless to begin with.  The ‘joke’ is not funny, and lines like “every one of the ten thousand terminals on your circuit breaker module is a different colour” might be amusing when written down but they just don’t work when somebody says them aloud.  Fortunately, it doesn’t last long.

Then we get on to what’s probably the second-best thing in the Special, the bit where we learn that the Mos Eisley cantina is owned by Bea Arthur.  It would be easily the most expensive thing in the Special were it not made up of b-roll footage and re-used puppets from Episode IV.  It’s also kind of got a plot, in that a guy with a baking soda volcano on top of his head (this is certainly an efficient way to get the alcohol directly to your brain) is trying to confess his love to Bea while she just wants to get on with running her business.  Eventually he gets his heart broken and leaves, and then the Empire shuts the bar down, so Bea throws everybody out with a song.

I have to admit, in The Force Awakens when Han Solo mentioned a female friend who ran a ‘watering hole’… there was a moment there when I was half-expecting it to be Bea Arthur’s character.  I’m relieved that it wasn’t, but also just the slightest bit disappointed.  We had to wait for The Mandalorian to get a proper Holiday Special callback.

This bit almost had a chance to say something with its ‘thwarted romance’ plot.  Usually such a thing in a tv show would get what the male character would consider a happy ending.  He would prove to his love interest that being cared for is important, she would realize that love is better than money, and they would metaphorically ride off into the sunset.  What it looks like we’re going to get here instead is something more like the episode of South Park where Butters fell in love with the Hooters waitress. Harvey Korman’s character (yes, he plays three different characters in this Special and this was apparently supposed to be a selling point) realizes his crush is based on a misunderstanding, and while it makes him sad, he’s not going to be an asshole about it.

Nor is Bea’s character vilified for rejecting him, which she does tactfully but firmly, as if she’s gone through this many times before. He’s just a minor annoyance in her day before she goes on to worry about bigger problems, like getting everybody to obey that Imperial curfew.  Then, however, at the last second he pops up from behind the counter after everybody has left – and that’s where the segment ends.  I think we’re supposed to assume they got together after all, but I kind of hope she just threw him out with the rest of them.  No means no, damn it.

Bea Arthur’s Go Home Song is to the tune the Cantina Band was playing in Episode IV, so it pretty much goes without saying it’s the catchiest piece in the Special.

Then, finally, it’s time to celebrate Life Day!  The Wookiees hold up some glowing Christmas balls, then dress in red robes and walk through outer space into a, uh, wormhole, I guess, that takes them to the base of the giant tree from Avatar.  There it’s time for our final setpiece, the culmination of this whole ninety-minute ordeal… Princess Leia sings!  The Life Day Carol is to the tune of the main Star Wars theme, and the lyrics sound like something from a generic Christmas album you get free if you buy three cards at Hallmark.  Carrie Fisher is a decent singer but she looks like she’s as glad this is over as we are.

Much like Howard the Duck, The Star Wars Holiday Special is a production in which they made all the worst decisions they possibly could.  Focusing on the Wookiees at home rather than following Han Solo and Chewbacca through the action killed the whole thing at the starting gate.  Then that plot is nothing but a frame on which they can hang the various variety acts, and none of those are very good.  It’s only towards the end of the sequence that what we’re seeing even has anything to do with Star Wars.  Watching it is an ordeal on the order of an un-riffed Coleman Francis film.  It’s so bad, it’s not even something people get together and watch like they do Manos or The Room.

So why do we still have it?  The Holiday Special was only broadcast once, and was met by fathomless loathing from critics, Star Wars fans, and ordinary people alike. It has never been released in any other format (Andrew Borntreger of badmovies.org has a story about how Lucas had him thrown out of a Q&A panel for asking if it were getting a DVD release), so the fact that you can find it on YouTube today is down to some nameless hero who recorded it on their newfangled VCR back in 1978.  That person then showed it to friends, apparently on the basis of oh my god, you guys, this is so bad, you have to see it, and then because misery loves company they copied it to show to their friends. What we have today is copies of copies of copies of copies, like fragments of Sappho only with VHS artefacts instead of holes in the papyrus (and without the artistic vision).

Humans like to preserve remarkable things.  Sappho we’ve preserved because it’s remarkably good, but the Star Wars Holiday Special we preserve because it’s remarkably bad.  Lucasfilm has tried very hard to stamp it out.  George Lucas himself has said that if he could he would gather up every copy that exists and smash them with a sledgehammer… but we won’t let him do it. We keep copying the Special and passing it along, in a way that’s very familiar to MSTies in particular.  We’re circulating the tapes!  Why this tape in particular?

I don’t claim to know, but my working theory is that it keeps us humble.  We are a species that can produce great things when we put our minds to it.  We landed on the moon.  We eradicated smallpox.  We built the Taj Mahal and the Sagrada Familia.  We wrote The Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the Einstein Field Equations and the aforementioned works of Sappho.  But for all that, we are also capable of throwing the same kind of effort into creating utter disasters – and the Star Wars Holiday Special is the rare example of an unmitigated disaster that didn’t actually hurt anybody.  It reminds us to take a step back and look at what we’re doing without getting too invested in it, but does so while being harmless and at times humorous.

Would I still rather watch this than Elves?  You bet your shaggy Wookiee ass I would.  The Star Wars Holiday Special may be longer, but it doesn’t leave nearly such a bad taste in my mouth.

I will leave you with this: the Special was, as I mentioned, only broadcast once, in 1978 – that means its signal is now forty-one light years from Earth and still going.  There are several hundred stars within that bubble, around two dozen of which are known to have planets.  Somewhere out there, aliens might be getting their first signal from humanity right now and it’s the Star Wars Holiday Special.

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x18 Review

Something To Talk A-Boot was a pretty good ep that was surprisingly fillery and made apparent the cracks in the show’s writing. Let’s dig in!

We got some great Tyrus scenes that more than made up for the crappy writing we’ve seen the last two Tyrus eps. For once they got to end on a happy note which was much appreciated. We returned to the same fun and flirty dynamic we saw before costume day and it’s like that whole mess never happened (which I’ll discuss more in the negatives). 

We’re back to the confident and flirty TJ we had been seeing up until costume day and it’s good that the show has abandoned it’s incredibly ill advised and poorly done internalized homophobia story line which is necessary because Tyrus can’t canon in the finale if TJ and Cyrus aren’t both comfortable with themselves and with each other. Luckily for the show, most of the audience will never know what the hell was going on with TJ in eps 13 and 15 and will just ignore it as bad writing. 

Lot’s of completely unnecessary touching between Tyrus in this ep like holding on to each others shoulders after the verdict and TJ tapping Cyrus as he was putting his seat belt on. I was pleasantly surprised by the full on hug we got; I didn’t think Terri would get a hug approved in this ep and be able to get hand holding approved in the finale but looks like she pulled it off. It made for a rare rule of three for Cyrus as we saw three increasingly gay hugs between him and TJ this season. I loved the whole you’ll visit me on the inside bit, that’s the kind of thing only couples say. 

Man was that Tyrus golf cart scene ever romantic. Just pure flirty fluff and it was wonderful to see. Really the only reason TJ stole the golf cart again and drove off to find Cyrus was to flirt with him. It’s the closest a show with 14 year olds can get to a classic drive off into the sunset ending. Has there ever been a better nerd/jock ship? The golf cart scene was a perfect encapsulation of their dynamic and showed such growth on Cyrus’ part from the scared kid who couldn’t imagine breaking the rules to the more confident self TJ has helped him become. It’s a bittersweet thought but even though a good chunk if not most of the audience still thinks Tyrus is a friendship or one sided crush, everyone who ever starts the show after the finale will know that Tyrus is a romantic relationship and for them subtext will be text from the very start. 

I think it was very deliberate that all of TJ’s scenes were at the school, we needed to see him interacting like normal with Cyrus at the place they’ll spend most of their time. This ep really was in many ways a glimpse of what canon Tyrus will be like after they get together and come out to the world; supportive, flirty, comfortable.

They really took advantage of Luke being 17 and a good driver. I wonder if ‘leggo’’ was in the script or if that was a Luke ad lib.

This was the last confirmed ep they ever filmed at the school and there’s an extremely good chance that the very wholesome and very gay Tyrus golf cart scene was the last scene we’ll ever see at the school. Which is a hell of a way to say goodbye to the school. 

We got just under 5 minutes of Tyrus screen time and just over 5 and a half minutes of total TJ screen time this ep (excluding TJ cheering in the stands). This is the most he’s had since 3x06 and may actually be the most he’s had or will have all season. And this was more Tyrus screen time than we’ve had in 3x11, 3x13, and 3x15 combined which is a damning indictment of Disney’s censorship. Partly this was likely because the writers were trying to pad his screen time a bit since he was originally supposed to be gone for 3 eps in a row instead of 2. Funnily enough, because his story line was left intact even with the cut ep and re-shoots it now looks as though he may actually get a little more screen time in these final 7 eps than Marty does.

It’s impressive too because all of TJ’s scenes were filmed over two days; it makes such a difference when they’re actually allowed to have him on set for more than one day and that they let Luke and Josh actually have scenes together and took advantage of them being older and able to work longer hours.

This ep really built TJ’s character back up and it’s easy to see that the writers knew they had to get the audience back on TJ’s side and remind them of his and Cyrus’ dynamic especially since he was supposed to have been gone for 3 eps in a row instead of 2. 

Josh did a great job hamming it up at the trial. Loved the ‘’you’re showboating’’ ‘’thank you for noticing your honour’’ bit. And Cyrus adding ‘’sir’’ when he was pretending to respond to himself from the witness box was good too. Love that Cyrus took the time to change back into a suit before hearing the verdict.

It makes such a difference for Cyrus’ character is TJ is in an ep or not and I don’t even mean from a shipping perspective. In non TJ eps Cyrus is almost always reduced to therapist friend or comic relief, when TJ is an ep he usually gets to be an active character and actually get to do things. 

We had Buffy saying he used to be the worst and is now the best and Cyrus taking credit for seeing the good in him which was a nice reminder of the amazing growth TJ has had. And of course, there was no real reason to have TJ be the one to help Buffy get to class except to make him look good in the audience’s eyes.

I know a lot of people wanted to see more of Buffy and TJ’s friendship but I’m fine with their brief interactions. The only reason he had so much time with her in S2 and why the end of S2 set up a friendship between them was because Garren had left and they didn’t know they could get him back.

Such great growth on Buffy’s part from the girl who wouldn’t even pass the baton to her team mates back in S1. The Spikes have largely been treated as a joke but we really saw a great dynamic between them and Buffy tonight; they all felt like a real team for the first time ever. And it was interesting seeing Buffy’s room and seeing her doing normal teen stuff with people outside of the GHC. Glad the Spikes got a win and glad Buffy was able to bounce back from her injury and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. 

Very sweet last scene between Jonah and Amber, it was a nice call back to 2x01 when Amber confided in Jonah about her family’s money problems. It was messy but they did help and support each other. I’m happy that Jonah will now be in a more secure place. 

This was also the last confirmed ep they filmed at the Spoon and Jonah watching Amber get him a milkshake is a sweet way to say goodbye to a location that was almost a character in and of itself. We also got to see one last glimpse of the ginger waitress who we’ve seen in a couple of eps.

I liked that Jonah pointed out how well the GHC know each other; he’s a part of the friend group but he’s always stood apart from the GHC itself. 

I also liked that Jonah didn’t know what an existential crisis was. Always funny when they lean into dumb Jonah. 

Jonah and Andi had a sweet scene; glad he’s self aware enough to know he’s not a good advice giver. Liked the callback to Jonah scaring Andi. 

Bex is doing her best. Andi is definitely reacting like a teen. 

No Kira this ep which was great.

Shout out to the FBI and SLPD for shrinking the gap between TJ’s appearances. As much as cutting Ham has ended up damaging the other story lines it will definitely make Cyrus’ story line age much better. Having TJ be gone for 3 eps in a row only to come back after the wedding and only being able to have this kind of screen time and nice scenes after the wedding is so transparent that even kids would have noticed why that was.

Negatives:

I plan to have a happy finale night so I’m going to get my criticism of Terri’s handling of Tyrus out of the way now. I’ve seen quite a few posts on different social media sites wondering if TJ was in the cut ep and that’s why Kira isn’t mentioned or if there were cut Tyrus scenes but the plain simple truth is that this is just bad writing, some of the worst Terri has done. It’s not a satisfying explanation but it’s reality. 

I’d like to hear Terri one day explain what she thought she was going to accomplish with this internalized homophobia plot line on a show with so many restrictions and with an audience that doesn’t know TJ is gay. I don’t think there is a good explanation but I would like to know what the hell she was thinking. She’s always shown such care with the gay story line and to just drop the ball so badly when the show is almost done is more sad than anything else. Thank god Disney let her have canon Tyrus in the finale.

It’s clear from the writing of S3 that they knew from the very start that Tyrus couldn’t canon until the finale, if at all. It’s been nothing but drama that keeps them apart up until now: Buffy is still kind of mad at TJ, Reed had a gun, Jonah is mad at TJ, Bubbe Rose dies, Kira comes in. TJ isn’t even involved with the Spikes after 3x04 and barely had any scenes with Buffy and he hasn’t had a single scene with Jonah since so it’s not like those plots were meant to have an impact. And Terri would have known that TJ could only be in 9 eps max this season and she was the one who cast a 14 year old to play Kira, knowing that Raquel just wouldn’t be able to be on set nearly as long as Luke which of course she did because she knew it didn’t matter how old she was because Kira and TJ would have limited screen time anyways. And she would have known that the look back had been edited to make it look like TJ was straight and yet she still went ahead. 

Honestly, Terri is lucky that most of the audience will never know that TJ was supposed to be struggling with his sexuality in 3x13-3x15 because if they did this story line would come off as much worse than it does for them. I can buy that she wouldn’t have known how far she could go with canon Tyrus until close to the finale itself but that just makes her decisions even more baffling. If she ends up being able to have a textual ending then she has to have TJ be confident or it just won’t make sense. But if Disney said no to canon Tyrus then there’s no way they would have let her properly explore an internalized homophobia arc anyways which makes it all pointless. 

Now that we’ve seen up until 18 we can see just how defensive Terri’s instagram post back in November about not complaining about Disney censorship or queerbaiting was. At the time all she had actually accomplished was Cyrus saying the word gay which was historic and wonderful but only one ep. There’s obvious censorship by Disney and it would have been even more apparent if it wasn’t for Stoney’s arrest. And up until now there’s really nothing differentiating  Tyrus from queerbaiting as Cyrus hasn’t even been able to say he has a crush on TJ. I know she’ll do a good job with Tyrus in the finale but I really hope she doesn’t do something egregiously bad with Kira’s ‘redemption’

It doesn’t make sense that no one would mention Kira. We had TJ scenes over 4 days in universe and no Kira in sight. So either she’s not clinging to him or he told her off. It’s all just so her appearance at the party can make Cyrus flee to the bench for one last bit of contrived drama. 

We finally ended the very poorly plotted Jamber arc. It’s clear that they first decided to get Jamber back together, likely to keep Jandi apart and as a shocking twist, and then worked backwards from there to figure out how to make it plausible and settled on Jonah also having financial issues. The problem being is that those financial problems were largely ignored and we never got an in depth exploration of Jonah or Amber’s psychology. It’s not like they didn’t have time for it since Amber set a new record for recurring characters, excepting S2 Bowie. It’s hard to say Amber has had a true arc over the series. She definitely got nicer but we’ve only really gotten character development from her these past couple of eps. She’s in the same place she was back in 2x01, newly broken up with Jonah, with parents who fight, and forced to work at the Spoon to help support her family. 

Loved that the Spikes were watching footage of their game with the Spartans, which hadn’t happened yet, at their sleep over. Back in the S2 finale when Buffy announced that she was founding a girls team I never imagined that they would be written as a joke and barely shown. I’d guess that was another casualty of them being able to get Marty back for S3.

Looking Ahead:

I’m a lot more content with the show ending after S3 after seeing these recent eps. There’s been way too much filler and a lot of bizarre decisions. Yes the cut ep and the re-shoots hurt a lot of plots but it doesn’t seem like the originals were all that much better. It’s clear that the Muffy plot in 3x17 ended after the bowling alley and Amber’s plot ended with her leaving Cyrus’ house which means that Marty went with Buffy as her date to the wedding in the original 3x18 only to friendzone her and tell her to get her foot checked. And Amber still went with Jonah even though she knew he had been lying to her and they only broke up at the wedding. I’m sure the Mack family A plot would have been great but the B and C plots look like they would have sucked. 

Terri’s never had a show that went beyond 2 seasons and I think in some ways she struggled with plotting out 21 eps worth of story lines. Better to end now when the show will go down as historic then drag it down in a potential S4. And better for Terri’s reputation as well, she gets to end the show as a visionary whereas if we got a S4 she’d likely end up with more of a Michael Jacob’s type reputation. 

Also this ep shows that any hope for seeing canon Tyrus in S4 was just a dream. Disney is clearly only willing to let things get textual in the finale itself. Even Mack Chat didn’t mention Cyrus once tonight despite him having a big role in the ep. An odd game Disney plays with showing the bench scene in promos but not letting Mack Chat get too gay. 

New finale promo sheds a little more light on things. Two Cyrus waving scenes, probably one is before the bench scene and one is after. Bench scene starts with some extras near the fire and once they leave is when things get textual. TJ and Marty will probably have an interaction after both Tyrus and Muffy canon. Looks like there doing something with Jandi but again I don’t think we get canon Jandi, just something ambiguous. Bowie and Bex dancing in the back ground, Bowie in his dad’s tux and Bex possibly in her wedding dress. Obviously they’re already married but it’s probably them re-creating the wedding they had planned for but didn’t end up having.

Next ep is one with a ton of re-shoots and should feature the new wedding. We’ll see how smooth it is. My one hope is that we get some word that Jonah has told his parents about his panic attacks, even if it’s off screen. 

[peterpumpkinparker]

Disneyland and Lightsabers~ Peter Parker x Reader

Anonymous: Can I have 15 from the prompt list for Peter Parker? But in this one, s/o is trying to hide a surprise present from him?

Of course! I’m in a Disney mood right now so this is gonna be Disney themed-hopefully that’s fine!

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

AU: Disneyland

Word Count: 2000+

15) “You are a terrible liar.”

Even though Peter told you he doesn’t want you to buy him anything at a Disneyland trip, you can’t help get him something he really wants

————————————————————

Everyone had been so excited for the Senior trip to Disneyland-especially you and Peter. You being the mildly obsessed Disney freak that could sing every song without fail and Peter never have gone, you both were psyched to experience the magic of Disney. You spent weeks planning, researching, and discussing what rides to ride on, what group pics to take, and what yummy foods to gorge yourself with. Now you were here, and you couldn’t be more ecstatic.

All morning you were having the best time of your life. Your group, which consisted of Ned, MJ, Peter, and yourself, were having the best time running into rides and taking dumb pictures around the park. But as the midday rush came and the sun was beating down on your group, you all felt like you were living in a sauna.

“No gonna lie,” Ned huffed out under the sheen of sweat trickling down his face, “I don’t think I can do this-how are wearing black MJ?”

MJ shrugged, not a drop of sweat evident on her face as your group walked down the packed lanes of Tomorrowland.

“I’m cold blooded.”

“Wish we were back in Space Mountain,” Peter added tiredly, his hair starting to stick to his forehead, “it was so cold.”

You looked at the tired face of your friends and sighed. You were trying so hard to be the optimistic, happy one of the group that kept everyone on their feet and moving. But you had to admit that you were extremely hot too. You looked around as you dodged strollers full of children, hoping a nice quiet spot to rest in the shade was open-to no avail. It seemed like every family had taken a spot that was out of the hot California sun.

You sighed. “Why don’t we just go into a store? There’ll be some air conditioning in there.”

“Can we please?” Ned begged frantically, his shirt beginning to turn dark around the collar from sweat.

You laughed exhaustedly from Ned’s childish desperation.

“Hey look,” Peter pointed, “that store sells lightsabers!”

Peter and Ned looked at each other, a common love arising on their faces. They both started to fast walk over to the store, leaving you and MJ to watch the two nerds run in like 5 year olds.

MJ looked at you and shook her head as she commented:

“Nerds.”

The store was a noticeable few degrees lower than outside, even with the hoard of families walking inside. You and MJ sighed in relief, allowing the rush of cold air to sweep over your bodies. After that relief, you began to look for your fanboy of a boyfriend.

You walked past bundles of children and Star Wars merchandise, puzzled on how you couldn’t find either boy.

You turned to MJ, confusion plastered on their face.

“Where do you think they-“

“OH MY GOD NED THEY HAVE COUNT DOOKU'S LIGHTSABER?!?” You heard Peter yell a few octaves too high as he pointed frantically at a wall of lightsabers.

You smirked. “Never mind.”

You snuck up on Peter, tapping your finger against his shoulder lightly.

“Having fun over here?” You asked, a smile playing on your lips.

Peter slightly jumped, surprised his Spidey senses didn’t warn him of your movement-he blamed it on the lightsabers.

“Yeah,” Peter sighed, breathless with excitement, “it’s just-these are so cool! I’ve always wanted one of these since I was a kid.”

“Really, Pete? I thought you had a bunch of those things,” you said, remembering the bucket of old toy lightsabers you found at the back of Peter’s closet.

“Yeah I know,” he agreed,” I just-always wanted a real one-one I could build myself, ya know? Be a real Jedi and do what they did.”

“Oh,” you nodded as you agreed, giggling at his adorableness.

“Should I sign you up for the Jedi Training here too?”

Peter’s face light up, grabbing both of your hands and clutching them close to his chest.

“Oh my god could you please?!”

You laughed, brushing your finger on the bridge of Peter’s nose, something you loved to do because it made Peter a blushing mess.

To no surprise, his checks turn a soft shade of red. “Believe me Parker, I could if I would.”

You both look at the lightsaber station and the group of crazy kids becoming their own Jedi as they meticulously built their weapons.

You turned back to Peter, the softness in your eyes making his heart thump. He loved when you looked at him straight on-he could look and appreciate every facial feature that made you you- the color of your eyes, the shape of your nose, the outline of your lips: everything about you he found cute, beautiful, and attractive, and he loved to absorb it all in.

“What color do you think you’ll pick?” You asked.

Peter blinked his eyes a couple time, his daze being broken. “Huh?”

You giggled, making his checks warm. He always felt sheepish when he realized he had been staring at you.

“I said, what color are going to get?” You bopped his nose again, making his checks go redder, making his few freckles stand out.

He fumbled with his hair, staring flustered, “um-uh-probably the blue one.”

“That’s so basic Parker!” You laughed.

“It’s the best color though!” He argued happily. “Obi-Wan used it-well, until Darth Vader killed him-oh and Qui Gon-until Darth Maul killed him too...Anakin- he turned into Darth Vader and got a red one-and Luke...except when Vader cut his hand off he got a green one…”

You looked at him, you eyebrows raised in concern and amusement, a comment on your lips that you were holding back to spill.

“What?” Peter asked, Noticing the look you were giving him

You smiled wide. “Nothing….”

“What?” Peter chuckled, trying to get your thoughts out of you.

He grabbed your hand as you turned away, making you look at him as a laugh escaped out of you.

“No, I’m not gonna tell you!” You shouted, closing your eyes. Peter’s face was right next to yours, your hands on his chest. Being so close to Peter was nerve racking, and the feeling made you feel like being dropped from a 4 story building.

“Come on-please tell me,” He asked as his fingers sat dangerously near your ribs-your tickle spot. His fingers brushed against your skin, sending rivulets of energy up your spine, making your head shoot up.

You looked at him, eyes wide. “Peter I swear to god-“

“Hey love birds!” Ned yelled as MJ raised her chin as a greeting to you two, “come

On! Our Fastpasses to Star Tours are almost up!”

You looked at Peter, an evil grin on your face as you poked his stomach on the side. Peter grabbed his stomach instinctively, even though it didn’t hurt at all.

“You’re mean.” He said with a fake pout.

“And you’re a nerd.”

“But you already knew that about me,” he replied, making you shake your head.

“I guess,” you replied smiling, “Wait-didn’t you want to get a lightsaber?”

“Yeah... Maybe I can-“ Peter began, but the sight of Ned frantically waving him down and pointing to his watch made him think otherwise.”

He sighed. “I guess I can get it later.”

“You sure?” You asked, knowing Peter really wanted to get his toy.

“Yeah, Yeah,” He reassured you, “I can get it later. Besides- we have all day.”

You looked back at the table, trying to make a plan that would satisfy everyone.

“Well what if I stayed back and got you the lightsaber?”

“Wait no y/n I can’t let you do that!” Peter protested. “Please, I don’t need it-lets just go-I’m fine, seriously!”

The more Peter talked, the more desperation played in his voice.

You gave him an unconvinced look. “Are you sure??”

“Yeah, Yeah,” He said ina fake airy manner, “I’ll be fine-I’ll just-get it later.”

He shrugged his shoulders and grabbed your hand, leading you to Ned.

Later never really came. Ride after ride after ride came, and it seemed Peter was never going back to that shop.

Night had fallen, and you felt Peter’s hand fidget in yours.

“Do you think we’ll be able to go back?” He asked, his big puppy dog eyes boating into yours.

You wanted to go back, but your call back time for the adults to drive all the students to the hotel was in 10 minutes, and you were a whole 2 lands away from the designated meet up spot. There was no way you could convince the group to walk more, and now way to expect to buy that lightsaber in time.

“I don’t know…” you said, not wanting to bring his hopes down. You know Peter would try his best to not look disappointed, but he never was very good at covering his emotions up.

As expected, you watched his face fall a little, only to perk up as quickly.

“It’s alright!” He replies in a fake, cheerful voice. “I guess I’ll just have to do it next time…”

Even though you thought it was slightly childish to want a toy so badly, you thought it was cute and adorable, and it broke your heart a little to see the one thing he wanted to go unfulfilled. It was like watching a kid on Christmas not receive the one gift their heart desired so desperately-it was heartbreaking and little guilty.

You grasped his hand, rubbing your finger against his skin, wondering how you could fix the situation. That’s when a light bulb went off.

You turned to Peter, false distress on your face. You let go of his hand, turning to the group as you yelled, “I gotta go to the bathroom-I’ll met with you guys later!” And instantly running off, completely startling Peter and everyone in the group. Everyone was focused on their bloated bellies, tired feet, and sleepiness, so the sound of your voice breaking their quiet self muddling completely startled them shit less. Peter shook his head as he tried to comprehend what happened in his

worn out state,watching your back as you ran off.

MJ walked up between Peter and Ned who had took your place to Peter, pointing at a crowded corner a few feet away from the trio.

MJ cocked her eyes, asking, “She knows the bathrooms there, right?”

You were nowhere to be seen, and Peter looked around confused. “Where did she go?” He asked, completely bewildered by your actions.

After Ned reassured Peter that you would come back after a few minutes of him yelling frantically for you, they rushed back to the assigned meet up spot. The night air drifted coolily through Peter’s hair and clothing, cooling his warm body. The sound of crickets chirping on the ground and the soft blinking of lights in the trees made him feel like he was in a dream like state-until he thought of you. When he finally realized you hadnt made it, his heart rate shot up, his senses going into overdrive. Instinctively, he began to think of every possible bad scenario-you somehow getting so lost you wouldn’t make it time and get in trouble, you getting hurt, someone Kidnaping you… the scenarios went on and on, becoming more ridiculous and more scary nevertheless. He stood there, deciding to call you and ask if you are okay, until he finally saw you running up, a Disneyland bag in your hand as you desperately tries to shove it in your bag with little success.

He jogged up towards you, smiling slightly as he breathed a breath of relief. His face took in a serious note as he asked, “Where did you go?”

You cocked your eyebrow mischievously, giving him a slight grin. “Nowhere-Just the bathroom.” You stated matter of factly, disguising your smile by tying up your hair.

Peter could tell you were lying just by the pitch if your voice-it always went up slightly because you were excited or nervous to tell him something.

He chuckled as he shook his head.

“You are a-terrible liar,” he laughed, emphasizing the word “terrible”.

“Oh don’t act like you're any better Parker,” you smiled as patted his cheek.

“Now come on,” you grabbed his hand tenderly, “we got a bus to catch.”

He didn’t see you the rest of the night after roll call. Peter sat next to Ned the whole ride back due to the gender-with-gender rule they have on school trips, and checked into his hotel room with him. He sat on the bed, sending you a good night text as Ned changed into pajamas and fell asleep in seconds.

Peter stayed up, waiting for your reply. He wasn’t worried that you were taking awhile because he expected you were taking a little more time going to bed. His eyes began to become more droopy, and before he knew it he was fast asleep.

The sound of soft footsteps was picked up by his Spider senses, making him shoot out of a deep sleep. He fumbled loudly in the dark, searching for the alarm clock on his bedside table. He finally turned it, seeing it was 3 o’clock in the morning. He propped his body up, listening to the footsteps. They slowly got louder, stopping at his room for a split second, then slowly going away. Peter stepped out of bed slowly, slightly scared to open the door. He debated to wake up Ned, but he didn’t want to disturb his friend until absolutely necessary. He unlatched the two locks on his door, and looked out at a empty hallway. He then looked down, noticing a Disneyland bag at his feet. He picked it up suspiciously, noticing a white sticky note on the front of the bag. He gingerly pulled it off, reading the words written on it.

He noticed it was your handwriting, immediately recognizing the loops and angle of the words that made it yours.

The note didn’t have much to read. The only words written on it were-“Sorry not sorry ;)”

He smiled, shaking his head, setting the note down as he pulled out a blue lightsaber out of the bag.

Peter already had a feeling what was in the bag you had earlier, and really, he didn’t know why you went through all that trouble for him. His heart swelled with happiness, and he realized then a there he never wanted anyone but you as his girlfriend in his life.

————-

Taggings:

@acciopeter @petersshirts @th3n3rdyon3 @just4muggles @anxieteandbiscuits @fratboievans @grandmascottlang @gayuwuenergy @galaxy-parker @hollandroos @honeymoonparker @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @jupiterparker @naturallytom @revengingbarnes @starksparker @underoosstark @uglypastels @underoos-shield

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I love you all and I hope your day is amazing! I’ll see you in the next fic ❤️

[miraclesnail]

I remember telling you about the mice helper dream & Cinderella Will bit honestly Tangled but with willvis, charming theif Eugene=Travis,and Sunny Rapunzel with magic healing hair given by the sun=Will that is all (this is also my excuse to have Will with long hair)

Yes! Men with long hair are very nice! 

ANd I’m sorry for taking so long to reply, exams and all ^^;

Tangled is actually one of my favorite Disney movies and idk I thought this up while studying for my exams last week. 5k fic under the cut! 

child and animal abuse, anxiety, insecure!Will, animal death, 

Changes: no friend like Pascal for Will, takes place during October and it’s snowing rather than in May, and I feel like Rapunzel and Will have two different mindsets when it comes to rule-breaking and what is acceptable so it won’t be 100% like the movie, sorry if that was what you wanted, Luke-Life ^^;

He’s born into the world, healthy and bright-eyed, snuggled in his mother’s arms and father’s embrace and brothers’ curiosity, all too soon taken away from the palace’s ground to an isolated tower.

He’s one and he’s walking by himself without help, waddling, clinging to his mother’s hands, to the furniture to the walls, walking in loops and loops and loops all over the tower, babbling halted at once under his mother’s annoyed groan. 

He’s two and he can kinda/almost/nearly brush his hair on his own, but his hands are not wide enough to grab the handle and he so sorely wishes they are, just so Mother can stop doing this arduous task for him like she so often reminds him of. 

He’s three and says his first sentence, the sentence his mother always sings while brushing his hair, flowers gleam and glow, let your power shine. It makes his mother particularly happy and he beams, wanting nothing more than his mother’s praises again.

He’s four and enamoured with singing, everything and anything, babbles and mumbles, fake and real words, but especially the song that makes his hair glows a pretty gold that chases away all the darkness. 

He’s five and listens, raptured, as his mother tucks him in. “There are bad people out there, Will. People who will use your powers for evil. Promise me you will stay here. Promise me you won’t ever leave the tower,” she says and he smiles. He nods. He clings to his mother’s hand as she brushes his hair back and says, “I promise.” 

He’s six and learning how to read. It’s really, really hard and mother gets increasingly more frustrated with him and starts calling him stupid, dimwit, slow. That part isn’t so fun, but what he is reading, what he is learning is fun and cool and he wants to read more! He wants to read everything!

He’s seven and learning how to sew, how to crochet, how to knit, how to draw, how to handwrite, how to play chess and checkers and poker and speed, how to make origami paper art, how to dance, how to wrap a bandage, how to write an autobiography, how to everything. He wants to learn how to do everything! 

He’s eight and tries to be a good son, tries to cook dinner for his mother and him because he has nothing better to do and mother already does so much. But it all goes wrong. A fire starts. His mother appears from nowhere and puts it out and now he’s blinking back tears as mother yells at him, about how he nearly killed her, how he nearly burned his hair, how he hurt her and he’s sorry. He’s so sorry. 

He’s nine and shaking as his mother yells at him and he doesn’t understand why she’s yelling, all he wanted was a book about history and no wait, he’s sorry, he didn’t mean to backtalk, don’t burn his books, wait wait wait wait don’t — 

He’s ten and waving goodbye as his mother leaves to get food like she does everyday, leaving him alone with only pencils and brushes as company. He can’t… He doesn’t… No, shut up. You’re being ungrateful. But sometimes… sometimes he wonders if this is all his life will be.   

He’s eleven and lonely. 

He’s twelve and bored.

He’s thirteen and bored.

Fourteen. Bored.

Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Then he’s eighteen and he’s panicking. For the first time ever, he is really, truly panicking. 

It’s October and the first snow is falling. He had kept the window open because he doesn’t like the darkness and to his surprise and now growing horror, at the cave’s entrance is a man. Not well clothed for the winter storm but clothed enough for Will to know that is not his mother. His mother only has black cloaks and this man is wearing a white one. His mother has long, luscious black hair and this man has tufts of brown on his uncovered head. 

Will watches, tucked under the balcony edge, as the man wander around in the snow slowly … slowly … slowly coming closer to his tower. What should he do? What should he do? Oh no, what should he do?

No, no. Calm down. Mother warned him about this. This was always a possibility. She had done her best but she couldn’t wipe the secrets of his hair’s magical powers from all of history. She said people might come for him and spins webs of lies to lure him out. 

Today is that day. 

Think, Will. The man hasn’t noticed you yet. Don’t let yourself be seen. You have time to think of what to do — oh god. The man is coming to the tower. He’s checking out the tower. He’s climbing the tower. 

Oh no. Oh no. oh no oh no oh no ohnoohnoohnoohnonononononononoonnonono. 

What should he do? What is he supposed to do? What did mother told him to do if this ever happened? Hide? Run? Scream? Hide and then escape? Drop an anvil down on the intruder’s head? The man is halfway up now. Make a decision. You’re running out of time. 

Don’t panic, Will. Don’t panic. 

Three fourths of the way up.

Time to panic. It’s time to panic. 

He can hear the man now, his boots scruffing on the icy stone wall. 

He’s out of time. Act now! 

Just as the trespasser’s hand grips the window ledge, Will ducks into his closet… into… his very old… and very creaky closet. Not his brightest moment but there’s no time to find a new hiding spot. Hair bundled in one arm, Will closes the closet door with his free hand just as the man’s head pops up over the ledge. 

There’s a grunt. A yelp as a body hits the floor. And joints cracking like someone is stretching. 

The man is inside.

Oh my god someone is inside his tower.  

He can’t breathe. He doesn’t dare breathe. He doesn’t dare move. Blood drums in his ears. His hands start to shake. Why didn’t he bring a weapon with him in here? His shearing scissors was right there. And so was his knitting sticks. Why didn’t he grab those? Why why why whywhywhyhwhywhywhy—

“Uh, hello?” the man says and Will nearly has a heart attack. He blindly thinks of what he has in his closet he can use as a weapon (hanger, scarves, shoes, a coat, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothingnothingnothing)

“Is anyone here?” 

He hears boots scruff on his tile floor. The man is walking around now. Oh god please don’t check the closet. Please don’t. Please don’t. Please don’t. Please— 

“I thought I saw someone up here. Sorry, I just have to ask a few questions and I’ll be on my way.” 

Will swallows as he hears more boot scruffing. 

“Please, this is kinda important. I’m at my wit’s end and I’m getting pretty desperate.” 

His mind buzzes. The man… the man doesn’t sound like what mother described the outside world, greedy and mean and power hungry. The man almost sounds… scared, human even. No. This is a trick. It has to be a trick. They’re trying to lure him out. Don’t fall for their trick, Will. He’s smarter than that.

“Please is anyone here? Just a few questions, I swear. I’m not here to rob you or anything. I know it looks kinda bad, me entering without permission, but I promise it’s for a very good reason. Oh wow, I am definitely not making myself look any better.”

Will’s could feel his resolve quivering. The man sounds so sincere. He doesn’t sound like a bad person at all. Maybe mother was wrong and 

A plate shatters and Will’s blood freezes over. Dangerous. He’s dangerous. You’re so stupid, Will, what were you about to do? 

“Oh fudgesticks! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see that table there! Uh, um, hhhnn, I-I I’m really sorry. I….I … ”

The words tapered off, and Will presses himself closer to door, ears straining to pick up the words. He’s certain now. There’s pain laced in the man’s voice. Is he hurt? He is a bit too wordy to be hurt, but it could be shock making him act like this. No, Will. Think. This man climbed a 40 feet tower without help. He can’t be hurt. 

“I…I… what am I doing? Look at yourself, Travis. Searching in random forests, breaking into random towers, and destroying private belongings. This is the quickest way to get arrested and hanged. Then who’s going to help Connor, huh? The town? I don’t think so. Mom and Dad? Not likely. You. Need. To. Get. Yourself. Together. And the first step in getting yourself together is self-reflection. And based on my self-reflection, I … I can’t believe I just entered into someone’s home without permission. Oh god, I really am getting desperate. What am I doing?”

Will bites his bottom lip. The man is hurt. Just not physically. 

His hand presses against the door.

Don’t… whatever you’re about to do, don’t. 

But the man is in pain. He can’t ignore someone in pain…

Mother will be furious. 

Mother will understand. She’s always telling him everybody outside is horrible and selfish, but if he doesn’t help then doesn’t that make him a horrible person too? He’s supposed to be different.

He wants to be different. 

What if it’s a trick? What if the man is lying? 

Just a peek then. He’ll take a quick peek to see if the man is acting and Will pushes on the door just a tad. The hinges creak and he winces but there’s no voice, no boots scruffing, no noise and Will shifts to see through the crack. 

The man — no, a boy, a boy around his age? — sits on the floor with his head buried in his hands, hunched over and defeated. 

He doesn’t look dangerous, his mind supplies. He doesn’t seem to have any weapons on him. No knives, no machetes, no bows and arrows, but he does have a satchel and that could have a weapon. Other than that though, he seems safe. So what? You’re going to comfort a complete stranger who may, may not be here to kidnap you for your hair? Are you really that dumb? You’re really going to prove your mother right?

Will chews on his cheeks, stricken with doubt and paralyzed by his fear. Before he can decide on a course of action, the boy stands and Will can see his face for the first time. 

He’s crying. The boy is crying and suddenly there’s fire running through his veins that’s not entirely panic. 

Why are you crying? What’s wrong? I want to help you. Please don’t look so sad. Everything stays locked inside like it should, but Will hates how he couldn’t stop himself from pushing the closet door open more.

The boy runs a hand across his cheeks angrily, wiping away the tear tracks, before about-facing and walking to the open window. 

He’s leaving now…

Why doesn’t that spark relief like it should? 

Will tries to keep his eyes on the boy, but he lost his balance and now he’s falling out of his closet. His hands slap on the tile loudly to catch his fall and the boy definitely hears that. He spins around the same time Will raises his head and they lock eyes. 

Fear, panic, self-hatred at his ineptness all course through him as he scrambles to his feet and backs away, tripping over his hair in the meanwhile. His mind is drawing a blank on what to say. He still doesn’t have a weapon. And when is Mother coming back?!

The boy stares at his face first and his hair second, and shit. Mother was right. The boy is here to steal his power for himself. He’s in trouble. Don’t go down without a fight. This is my hair. No one will use it unless I want them to.

The boy’s eyes widen in awe, but they’re more like those of a child — innocent and curious — with no hint of malice. He could be acting. He could be lying. Don’t be tricked. 

“Woah. That’s… That’s a lot of hair. Way too much hair. How did you manage to fit all that inside that dinky, old closet? No, wait, how much shampoo and conditioner do you go through a month? Which company do you buy from? They probably don’t need any other customers thanks to you.” 

“I don’t wash my hair.” Wow, his voice didn’t come out as shaky as he thought it would and wow, that was not what he meant to say. 

The boy’s mouth turns upwards into an uncertain grin. “Uh, sure? Sorry, I came in uninvited. I did ask, but you didn’t say no.” 

Will’s eyes narrows. “Asked? You didn’t asked. You just started climbing.”

“Well, at the bottom, I shouted if I could come up and you didn’t say no so…”

He did? Will wracks his brain, but he can’t remember much due to his panic. Don’t take his word for it.

Will takes a deep breath and steels himself. Don’t be afraid. “What do you want?”

The boy smiles wider, but still unsure. “Hi, my name is Travis.” And Travis holds out a hand for some reason. 

Will stiffens, but the hand just remains between them, increasingly becoming more and more awkward until the hand drops back down to Travis’s side.

Travis coughs. “Okay, um, well, I was wondering if you have seen this yellow, glowing flower. It’s about yay big and this long and — ah, let me pull up a picture.” Travis is reaching into his satchel and Will’s breathing quickens. Blood roars in his ears. He sidesteps to the stool where he keeps his shearing scissors. When Travis pulls his hand out of his bag, Will pulls his scissors with him too and I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not—

“Have you seen this flower?” 

Travis is holding an unfurled scroll. Will blinks at the item, looking back to Travis, before going to the scroll again. Is he really not here for my hair?

Travis is patient as Will squints at the drawing on the parchment. It’s a flower with a great semblance to lilies, but nothing like the flowers his mother brings back with her. He shakes his head and the way Travis’s face fell hurts him more than he expected. He’s disappointed. You disappointed him. All our fault. All your fault. 

“Oh, I see. I figured. That’s what most people say too. I’ll get out of your home now I guess.” And Travis is turning his back on him, defeated again.

And Will hates that. He can’t stand to see that. 

“Wait.”

Wait? No! Leave! Go! Mother is going to kill him if she comes back to find him here!

Travis pauses and glances over his shoulder with eyes that’s so unfairly sad. Or maybe it’s just you’re so unfathomably weak, Will. 

“My mother…” Will swallows, Stop, you can still stop now, and wets his mouth before proceeding. “My mother travels a lot. She might have seen the flower.” 

It’s like flicking a switch. Travis stops hunching. The smile that follows is enough to blind him. Travis bounds back to him, laughing and smiling so hard it’s enough for Will to smile too. 

“Really? This is incredible! You’re literally the first person I met who helped me! When can I meet her? Is she here right now?” 

He talks fast, Will thinks. Because he has something to hide. Will slowly processes the barrage of questions and formulates the answer in his head. “She’s out right now. She doesn’t really like visitors,” he answers carefully.

Travis nods. “Oh yeah, I totally get it. Stranger danger, you know. All of that.”

“I don’t think you get it. You broke into my home,” Will deadpans and Travis frowns.  

“Correction. Breaking in requires me unlocking a door or window. Your window, however, was wide open. So technically… I wasn’t breaking in.” Travis says with a beaming smile, shrugging. It’s hard to believe just moments ago, this guy was crying. 

Think, Will. This guy can act. He’s tricking you. Push him out of the tower.

Will swallows and slips his scissors into pockets. “You should leave before my mother comes back.”

Again, that crestfallen face. Will fights the urge to change his mind. “I’ll ask her tonight. Let me look at it again and around midnight, you can come—”

“Ohhhhh, Will!”

No. 

“Let down your hair!”

No! It’s too early! Why is she back so early?

“Is that her?” Travis asks excitedly. “I can talk with her now!”

Travis starts to run towards the window and without thinking, Will grabs Travis’s clothed wrist and pulls him back. Travis yelps and loses his balance. Will catches him, but he didn’t let go of the wrist and Travis didn’t pull away. 

Instead Travis turns around slowly, delicately and his face is far too worried for Will’s liking. 

“You can’t talk with her. She… She doesn’t— ” His mother’s enraged face from seven years ago pops into mind, her pulling the cat out of his arms, her hurling the cat out the window, Ms. Fluffy’s screeching ending abruptly, and his mother brushing his tears aside with a thumb and murmuring, I had to do it, Will. That cat could have been a spy. You were in danger, and even though he understands, it hurts all the same. 

Will closes his eyes and shakes his head. Get over it, Will. It’s been years. 

When he opens his eyes again, he finds Travis no longer smiling. 

“I’m fine,” he continues, “My mother really don’t like strangers. Go hide in my room and don’t let her know you’re here. It’s at the very top of the stairs.”

When Travis hesitates, Will pushes him forward and hissing to go. Travis looks back one more time before rushing off and Will can’t help but notice that as he’s running up the wooden staircase, his steps are silent. 

He can’t dwell on that for too long. Mother is probably getting antsy and — his excuse. What is his excuse for taking so long? Come on, Will. Think. Think. Think. Think. 

“Will? Are you alright?” his mother shouts, and the lack of her usual casualness tells him she’s suspicious. He can’t waste any time. Lie on the spot. You can do it, Will.

“Coming,” Will shouts, before running to the window ledge. He tosses his hair over the hook and lets his hair drop to the ground. As soon as mother looped his hair and stepped on, Will pulls slowly, praying Travis has now hidden himself. 

He pulls and pulls and pulls, just like he does everyday. He pulls and pulls and pulls, praying he’s close now just like he does every day. 

A few tugs and this arduous task will finally be over. 

few. More. Tugs. 

A few more. Tugs.

Just. A. Few More. 

Almost there. 

He can see the curly hair of his mother. He can see her forehead now. Her neck. The cloak. 

Almost.

Oh god.

He does this everyday. Why doesn’t it become easier? 

When mother finally stepped onto the balcony, Will lets go of his hair and pants from the exertion. His arms burn, his shoulders ache, and seriously? Why hasn’t he built up muscle mass from this yet? 

“Oh, Will,” mother says, sweeping her arms out of her cloak for a hug, “What took you so long? Your mummy was getting cold.”

“Sorry,” he gasps, stepping forward to hug her back, “I was— I was— I was—” THINK, WILL! “Napping. I was napping.” 

Will winces at his lie, but his mother has already swept past him to hang up her cloak. “No amount of sleep is ever going to get rid of those eyebags, my dear. You look positively horrendous. I’m joking, Will. I ‘wuv you so very much.” 

A hand is pinching his cheeks way too hard and it leaves just as abruptly. Will rubs his cheeks, wincing as he repeats back, “I love you too, mother.”

As per usual, his mother goes straight to the mirror as he takes her picnic basket to the dining table to sort through the groceries. It’s a lot of vegetables, as to be expected. Plus some of the color pencils and paint he asked for. She didn’t have to get you these but she did. Because she loves you and look at you here, disobeying her wishes and lying straight to her face. You’re such a great person.

A hand touches his shoulder and Will jumps, spinning around to find Mother no longer by the mirror but behind him and looking very, very concerned.

“Yes, mother?” he says, cursing the way his voice squeaks. 

His mother’s eyes narrow. “I was calling you, Will.”

“You were? Why? What’s the matter? How can I help you?” shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP. You’re making it so much worse!

“I was going to ask you to sing for me.”

“Sure! I can do that right now!”

And Mother frowns. “But now I think you’re hiding something from me.”

She’s on to him. It’s all over. She’s going to find Travis. She’s going to toss him out the tower. He’s going to die. And it will be because of him.

“Will?” 

Will snaps to attention and smiles wider, brighter, and shakes his head. “Me? Hide something from you? No! Never! I’m always h-honest with you, mother!”

Mother crosses her arms. “Will.”

“Really! I’m telling the tr-truth.”

“Will.” 

And Will’s heart quickens at the rise in her tone. He walks to the other side of the room to put the fruits away. “No, really. I’m not hiding anything.” 

“Will.”

He shoves the apples into the basket with the other apples. “Just go sit down and I’ll be right over.”

“Will.”

He hangs the banana up on the rack, unable to keep his hands from twitching. “Sorry, if my voice is scratchy. I was singing earlier and I may have had a little too much fun.”

“Will.” 

He tries to rearrange the fruits section but just knocks over the landscape portrait he drew last month. “My bad. Sorry. You know how I am. I’m so clumsy and ahahahaha!”

“Will!” 

And WIll freezes. His cheeks flare. He takes a deep breath before turning around to his scowling mother.

“You’re lying to me.”

His head buzzes. 

No, I’m not. 

His head lowers. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry.”

His mother strides forward and Will flinches, wanting nothing more to pull back but you did this. You dug your own grave when you hide the man now lay in it. 

A hand cups his cheek while the other pats his head. When his mother speaks, it’s soft and kind, not brash like he expected it to be. 

“Oh, Will. You can tell me anything. You know that.” 

I do. I do. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t tell you this.

“What are you hiding from me?” 

“I— I — I—” His eyes dart around the room, searching for something, anything, to save him. 

The hand on his cheek tightens. “Will? What are you hiding?” Now that tone isn’t too happy and his mind is blanking. He can’t think of anything to say but the truth. But he can’t just say the truth. There’s no way out. She’ll hurt him. All for the better. Where are the solutions? There’s no solutions. He doesn’t want anyone to be hurt.  Should have thought of that earlier. Think! 

Then out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Travis’s face. He sees Travis’s face. Peeking from his room. And holy shit, why isn’t he HIDING?!

“Will! Stop thinking and tell me!” his mother yells and he points towards his room by mistake. Travis ducks back inside, but it’s too late. The curtains shifts from his actions and mother saw that. Will watches the cogs turn in his mother’s head. He watches her expression turn ice-cold, murderous even. He watches her pull a dagger from her belt. And he watches her climb the stairs. 

He starts to follow, but a hand and a glare stops him. 

‘Stay here,’ she mouths and Will watches helpless as mother tiptoes up the stairs. She isn’t as silent as Travis but still quiet enough. He hopes its enough to warn Travis — wait, Travis is a home intruder. Why is he praying for his safety?

On the last step, it creaks loudly and mother makes a face. She grips her knife tighter and faster then he thinks possible, she darts inside.

He stops breathing, waiting, waiting… waiting for what? A fight? Travis screaming in pain? His mother yelling? Travis running out? Instead all he has is silence and it’s awful, heart-stopping even. Eons must have passed before the curtains is pushed aside and his mother steps out, her knife still glistering white. 

She holds up a … a… a … is that a tortoise? Oh no, is that Travis’s pet? 

Mother puts a hand on her waist. “Will, what is this?” she asks in contempt.

“ A tortoise,” he squeaks, heart pounding.

“Yes I see that. I’m not blind, but how did it got inside the tower?” Mother says, rolling her eyes.

“I saw it in the gr-grass, snow I mean! I was worried it was lost and that it might die so… so I let down my hair. it grabbed on and I… I…” Will trails off, tears filling his eyes as his mother is stepping down the stairs and going to the window. She’s going to toss the tortoise out the window, he realizes. She’s going to kill it. 

“I thought we talked about this, WIll. You can’t bring in stray animals. They could be spies. They could relay information to your enemies. And when they come here, I would have to take care of it and mummy would get hurt, all because you had to be selfish. Do you understand?” 

All your fault… tell her… Travis is still here… but…but Travis haven’t done anything wrong. Travis didn’t hurt him or mother. 

He nods and watches with clenched hands as his mother walks to the window, undo the latches, and hurls the tortoise out. 

The window is pulled shut. 

Mother tries to comfort him, spinning sweet words of how it was all for him (it’s your fault) and how she didn’t want to do this (you force her to) and how she didn’t have a choice (she loves you). 

His mother left for her private quarters, the room under the staircase, leaving him alone. As soon as her door shuts, Will lunges for the balcony and opens the window. He doesn’t know why he checks. Tortoises can’t fly, but maybe… maybe this one can! Maybe… maybe… please, maybe. There’s no bloody splat on the snow. Maybe! Maybe maybe maybe! Maybe this tortoise can—

“Oh boy, was that intense,” a boy’s voice says directly behind him and Will yelps, spinning around to find Travis out in the open and no no no no no. 

“You have to hide!” he hisses, pushing Travis back up the stairs and glancing at his mother’s still closed door. Any moment, she can come back out and then Travis would … would… die? Would his mother kill another human? She killed an animal without remorse. She can kill a human. 

Travis plants his feet. “I have to check on Hermes.” 

Will pauses. “Hermes?”

Travis smiles and, it’s too relaxed, too lax for this situation. “My pet tortoise your dear mother tossed out the window.”

Tears brim in his eyes. If Travis got upset about having to leave and come back later, he can’t imagine what his reaction will be now. You should have stopped mother. You should have tried rather than just stand there and let it happen. There’s no excuses for what just happen. 

“I… I’m sorry.” Why is his voice hiccuping? Stop that. Mother hates it when you do that. Travis will too. Stop, stop, stop, why won’t it stop? “I’m sorry I killed your tortoise. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him. I’m sorry I—” 

“Hey,” Travis says softly and there’s hands on his shoulder — the first person other than mother to ever touch him and it’s gentle, way more gentle than any of mother’s affection and just as comforting. 

“It’s okay. Look at me. You didn’t — your mother didn’t kill him. I made Hermes a little parachute. Here, follow me to the window.” And Travis is holding his hand now, leading him to the balcony and pointing to the ground. “Do you see? The parachute is white so it kinda blends in with the snow, but can you see where the color is offset by a little bit?” 

Will can see it and a modicum of relief fills him. It’s quickly overshadowed though by his littlest knowledge of animal welfare. 

“How long can tortoises stay in the snow? They’re desert creatures, aren’t they” Will whispers, watching the tortoises land safely on the snow. Immediately, the tortoise stands and burrows into the parachute.

Travis shrugs. 

“I don’t know. Probably not that long, but Hermes is a fighter. Did you know this little guy survived a raven trying to eat him? But, yeah, the cold can’t be good for him. I’m going to go fetch him right now. Also I can’t help but notice that you, uh, aren’t very good at lying. Your fumbling back there almost made me weep,” Travis smirks, running a hand through his hair, still looking entirely too much at ease in spite of the situation. 

“I-I-I never had a need to lie!” he hisses, hating how his cheeks flare and his insides burn. 

Travis chuckles and step onto the balcony, pulling out two ice picks from his satchel. Weapons. He had weapons. But he didn’t use them. 

“You should learn how to lie. Lying is very useful. It has gotten me out of many situations before.”

“I don’t need to get out of situations.”

“Then what was that fight just now with your mother?”

“That wasn’t… that isn’t… that’s not our norm,” Will stammers, “Normally I tell her everything. There’s never been any need for me to lie or hide secrets.”

Travis pauses, eyes raised to meet his. “Because… you’re always here?”

“Yes.” 

“She sure… have a tight leash on you,” Travis says with a raised eyebrow. It takes maybe ten seconds for Will to recognize that as worry. Travis is worried for him. They barely know each other and someone is worried for him.

Is this warmth filling his chest normal?

Unconsciously, Will pushes a hand through his hair. “She has reasons to.”

“Right. I bet she does.” Travis doesn’t sound convinced as he digs his ice picks into the stone walls and situates himself against the stone, but he’s not climbing down yet. Instead Travis asks, “When should I come back?”

“You want to come back?” Will says flabbergasted, “Even with what just happened with my mother and your tortoise?”

Travis shrugs, a really unsafe move, and grins. “Well, yeah. I need you to ask about the flower and also you’re really fun to talk too, so when can I come back?” 

Will wracks his brain. His mother’s bedtime varies. Sometimes she’s in bed before midnight. Sometimes she’s in bed by 4 in the morning. And — wait, he said I was fun to talk to? He said I was FUN to talk to?! Fun? FUN!

Travis’s foot slips. Will lunges for him, but Travis didn’t fall any further than a few inches. And remarkably, Travis laughs, quietly, but still a laugh and it’s such a sweet sound, so free-spirited, so carefree, despite being 40 feet above the ground. 

“I’ll come back tomorrow. Does an hour earlier work?”

“Come back two hours earlier, at noon. My mother usually leaves by eleven.” What are you doing?

Travis smiles and winks. “See you then. Learn to lie and live a little until then.”

And Will watches Travis climbs down, slipping sometimes but never stopping to catch his breath. He waves from the bottom and Will waves back. Travis picks up Hermes, tucks the tortoise into his cloak, and at the cave entrance, waved one more time before disappearing.

The snow covers his tracks in minutes and just like that, it’s like nobody was ever there. 

Will giggles. He laughs. He bellows into his empty tower, not believing this just happen, not believing he made contact with the outside world, not believing his mother was wrong about the world, not believing he lied to his mother for the first time ever, not believing this actually slipped past his ever diligent mother, and not believing this is going to happen again.

He’s 18 when he met Travis.

He’s 18 when this all started.

He’s 18 when everything changed. 

This is how his life began.