#god I hate when people infantilize autistic people

[forsoobado137]

are their any disabled nations in your nation reveal AU? I personally headcanon Denmark and Latvia as autistic. what kind of ableism do they face if so? do they have to deal with the R/fakedisordercringe bullshit. I would imagine they get infantilized a lot especially if you add the combination if some are also queer

I think a majority of nations have PTSD. It's something that never truly goes away. They can heal and grow as much as they want, but there will always be an event/news story that will reopen that trauma all over again.

For physical disabilities, I think many nations have a lot of chronic pain due to disasters/economic and political issues happening in their countries (click for post about their symptoms). This is especially true for bigger nations like China and America, who have a lot of population and land area for natural disasters to strike. Most of them have gotten used to it, but there are moments where they're just like "HOLY FUCK I HATE THIS"

Also, many nations have been handicapped due to war and destruction in their countries. Fortunately, these injuries heal as the land and population heals, though they will definitely scar.

I also think Denmark and Latvia are on the spectrum. Latvia definitely gets infantilized due to both his autism and his stunted growth. I think Denmark gets infantilized a lot too because he's excitable and people see that as childish. Sweden also deals with the infantilizing/patronizing bullshit because he doesn't talk a lot, and people assume it's because he doesn't know what's going on.

I think they also have to deal with the frustration of people faking disorders or accusing them of faking. I imagine some nations have had seizures or have been in wheelchairs or have been overstimulated and people post them on reddit to mock them for "faking it". Though I like to imagine that they are the loud and ignorant minority.

[lit3rally-m1ke-whlr]

guys I accidentally deleted the essay I wrote in my drafts bc I’m an idiot (I’m crying) so I’m just gonna summarize in less words bc whatever I’m not typing several more paragraphs on this. Anyway I just had to say that I feel like there’s an ableism problem in the Stranger Things fandom. Either that or this fandom just doesn’t like when characters show obvious neurodivergent traits. We see this with El being either infantilized or deemed annoying by fans when she’s clearly developmentally impaired and autistic because she struggles with understanding social cues and just wants to be normal and fit in like everyone else. She was raised in a lab, obviously she’s going to be immature and not have a strong handle on her emotional responses to things, and you don’t have to like her but it kinda sucks that she’s being hated for these things when I can relate to her so much. We also see this with Mike, and I feel like the people calling him the worst character are forgetting he’s literally just a teenage boy dealing with trauma. Like it’s as if they were never a teenager before because trust me I was just like Mike at that age if not worse. I’ll admit I used to hate him too but maturing is realizing the reasons people dislike Mike can easily be explained by either internalized homophobia or neurodivergence. He’s a bad friend? It’s because he’s trying so hard to appear straight and struggles to balance his relationships in a healthy manner, and he often speaks before thinking about how what he’s saying comes across to others, which is something many autistics/ people with ADHD do, not because we mean to hurt others but we can often be blunt or brutally honest and come across as rude (or even just lash out when we feel attacked or hurt as a way to defend ourselves but it often comes out harsher than we want it to) in my experience. He’s a bad boyfriend? He’s actually not and even then it’s because he’s gay and not in love with El but just doesn’t want to lose her. Besides he doesn’t have a great model for what a loving relationship looks like because of his parents so he may not be able to differentiate between romantic and platonic love and stays in a relationship that he’s clearly not happy in because of societal pressure to appear straight and it would be suspicious (in his mind) if they broke up because a) El literally is the coolest girl on the planet, how could he not love her and b) he loses his cover and people might start to notice and question his lack of attraction to girls. But not only that, he clearly struggles with describing and expressing his emotions or recognizing those of others (aka alexythemia) which is common in autistic people. So if he didn’t notice El’s obvious discomfort at the skating rink that’s probably why, and it’s also why he couldn’t tell her he loved her (bc it was a lie but I digress).

But perhaps the best example and the reason I decided to make this rant post is Robin’s character in s4. I remember seeing so many people saying that once the writers decided to make her lesbian they realized they didn’t know what to do with her character, some even going as far as to say they made her ditzy and stripped her of her coolness, which basically proves my point about y’all (as in the fandom in general) not liking ND people because god forbid we unmask around you, it’s no wonder so many of us feel afraid to be our true selves in front of other people. It’s almost as if she was hiding behind a persona to seem more normal and not draw unwanted attention to herself because she’s a lesbian, and once she came out to Steve and was accepted she… didn’t have to do that anymore? She felt more comfortable and safe around him to show her true personality? I don’t know but there’s something off about the way people are acting like she’s suddenly dumb or just there for comedic effect in s4 when she’s literally been so useful like she’s the one who realized music could save victims from being possessed by vecna. She’s literally the same except now she’s out to someone and she gets nervous when it comes to girls she likes, big fucking deal. Not only is this mischaracterization ludicrous and flat out wrong but it’s quite upsetting to see as someone who can relate to Robin in season 4 and is also autistic. Yes, not everyone with autism is like that but some are and to say she’s no longer cool because of it just enforces the perception of autistics as weird and unlikeable just for simply being themselves and makes us feel like we can only be liked or taken seriously if we keep the mask on.

look at me I said I would keep it brief this time but I still ended up writing an entire wall of text on this anyway lol thanks for coming to my Ted talk ig

[harukapologist]

rambling about Haruka

As an ND person I just hate how Haruka's character is either completely infantilized or reduced to a selfish, evil murderer, when, to me, he is so much more than that.

Especially the latter; I hate when any MILGRAM character is called evil because what's the point of MILGRAM, then? They're all morally grey! That's how they test us. But Haruka in particular because I feel like it comes from a place of ableism, intentional or not.

I'm not sure if I should put TWs, but well I talk about ableism, murder (obviously lol), childhood trauma and well... it's Haruka

Haruka's outburst in the VD and his implication of killing animals (I know it's basically canon but erm... i can explain why I think it's an implication later) (i just finished writing the post and actually i explained why at the bottom of the post but its not a full explanation so lol) are the reasons I see people calling him either evil or childlike, and while I do think that Haruka is stuck in a childlike state in some aspects, this is emotional dysregulation of an ND and/or traumatized person, to me.

The uglier sides of being ND/traumatized, the ones that get heavily stigmatized and seen as intentional or evil; I think this was a display of one of them. And I really wish to see more people focusing on Haruka's disability in the ways it can affect his communication and day-to-day life skills more than "oh, poor baby, he has a disability that makes him feel unwanted" without actually understanding the details of the disability and, well, the reason why it is a disability.

Like, the emotional dysregulation that comes with being autistic, which is my headcanon for him. The hyperempathy and literal thinking that might make him harder to communicate with, and get people frustrated with him more often.

That and being severely neglected; I think neglect is one of the lesser discussed forms of childhood trauma and the fact that Haruka was shown to be neglected as well as abuse really means a lot to me, because I think some people don't quite understand just how much neglect and isolation fucks you up.

All those factors combined are a recipe for an unstable, impulsive, clingy shell of a human, and him getting called evil for that really saddens me. It's important to remember that these MVs are extracted from the prisoners' own memories and thoughts. It comes from their perception of their surroundings, their murders, and their own selves. The manic look that Haruka has on his face for a lot of AKAA, for example. The makeshift shirt he's wearing, as if he's desperately trying to sew himself together into a normal person, the exhausted, frustrated look when he picks up the necklace, it's important to remember that this is how he sees himself. A monster who has lost control of himself. The line "I'll keep killing to be your good boy" was a shock, but the way he meekly apologized to Es at the end of his VD, I really think that shows that he feels guilty, that he wants to convince himself more than anyone that he was a good person, that he was really trying to be one despite how his unlucky life frustrated him to his breaking point.

As for his infantilization, it has already been addressed by many thoughtful members of the fandom and I'm grateful to see that, but I also want to say it myself since god knows I hate being patronized.

It feels very ableist saying he's just "someone stuck in a childlike mindset/age regressor" Yes, and how does age regression as a coping mechanism develop? Usually through prior trauma that makes you "stuck" at said age, and that can present differently. It can be longing and yearning for a simpler time, for an actual happy childhood, or having flashbacks to a traumatic event that happened at a certain age; it is not uncommon for trauma survivors to be "frozen" at the age their trauma took place.

I think both of these are the case for Haruka. Frozen at that moment, but trying to reduce himself to nothing but a little, unaware child to avoid reliving it again, relishing in the innocence and purity of his good younger times (emphasis on purity--Haruka's murder was by strangulation, yet there's a shot in AKAA where he's covered in blood. I know it's after he killed the animals, but he's in the stitched-together outfit here; I think there's more to this MV than just killing the animals. Since this outfit is... not very likely to be worn in reality, did the animal killing happen at all? Even if it did, I think this shot remains an indicator that he sees himself as impure; guilty. I have a LOT to say about the inconsistencies in Haruka's MVs, but I'll save that for later... Anyway, back on topic) It is NOT "having the mental capacity of a child, so being unable to date etc." Haruka has still lived 17 years, maybe even more, since he isn't too interested in remembering his age. How do you treat actual neurodivergent people if this is how you see him?

When I rewatch the MVs, relisten to the VDs, reread the interrogations and timelines, I see no evil, just an incredibly broken, misunderstood person.

[ryuichirou]

RE: Ortho (+Shroudcest) post replies

Phew, alright, I think I didn’t skip anyone. If I did, I’m sorry, I’ll reply to you next time then!

Thank you so much for your wonderful messages of support and for your takes. I really appreciate it! I say it all the time but it saying it again feels appropriate: we had no idea we would ever see so many people who share our point of view despite not shipping Ortho with Idia or any other character. The fact that we can have this conversation really makes me happy.

You are welcome to share more of your thoughts if you want, but unfortunately I might not be able to reply to everyone. I will do my best though.

All of the asks in this blog are related to this post.

Anonymous asked:

Different anon, I think Ortho is in this nebulous situation like superboy in young justice who is physically 16 years old but chronologically 16 weeks old. I genuinely hate the uwu babying of characters. The dwarfs are all second years(so theoretically 17 at the youngest) but no one makes anything with them. Heck the characters I see get lewded the most are the octo trio who are the same age.

Heck, even Grim gets the baby mascot treatment by fans when he's also lumpedwiththefirst years. Like yes, he's a whiny brat but he's also grown up all alone as far as he can remember. I can't help but compare him to Puppycat who acts similarly and is a grown ass man.

Yeah, this probably plays a role too! Ironically, we were just having this conversation about Stitch the other day lol Being new to the world you exist in (and to existing in general) and being a baby aren’t necessarily the same thing.

And even in that case Ortho doesn’t fully fit into the trope because he was created quite a while ago and is already pretty well adjusted. But since he is still learning and doesn’t always understand people + doesn’t always get things like sarcasm, people consider it to be a proof that he is a toddler lol Who am I kidding, their reasoning doesn’t even go that far. They say “he died when he was a baby therefore he is a baby forever” and call it a day.

I feel bad for people who love Grim, I haven’t even thought about it… The Puppycat comparison is so spot-on lol

Grim is inexperienced and doesn’t know much about the world, but yes, he is one of the freshmen + just as he at times acts like a whiny brat, there are also times when he tells Ace that he should be more considerate of Deuce’s feelings, like wtf was that? That was Grim. Because Grim also isn’t a baby, he is a furry gremlin…

Anonymous asked:

As one of the most avid Ortho stans, it really is a pet peeve that people act like he's a little kid

You're so right that it's people that want to write him like Idia's little convenient plot device

I do want to note that it's also sometimes just the infantilization of an autistic coded character

God forbid he be somewhat optimistic, this must mean he's just an innocent baby /s

One small thing that gets me: Ortho can and has made his own gears!! Idia doesn't need to and maybe this is inspired by a post I saw that used the fact that Idia has made his stuff to take away Ortho's agency in what is supposed to be him having a tattoo analog. Not having a character be the architect of their own body mod equivalent is wild and I just.

He's a silly little guy, but he's not a fucking baby!

Indeed, Anon. I feel like people either completely ignore Ortho or see him as Idia’s appendix. I absolutely love them together, and of course I am biased towards scenarios that focus on their deep codependence, but I also really love how they get to have their own adventures, their own relationship, their own experiences separate from each other. Because they are wow, different characters, and Ortho has his own agency. He had it even before ch6, but after that he fully and officially became his own person. Being with Idia is his choice, not his only option. And just like you mentioned, he makes his own gears pretty much all the time now… even though I don’t agree that Idia making his gears has anything to do with Ortho’s agency.

I don’t even think Ortho is that optimistic. He is a little sunshine, but not even close to people like Kalim for example. Ortho even has his own cynical moments and douchy moments that people also tend to ignore. But even if he was 100% optimistic and naïve, it still would not be a valid reason to infantilise him. And you are absolutely right, people do that a lot. With Kalim too, actually, now that I think about it.

Anonymous asked:

Aaaaah, Ryuichi, after reading your post (rant) about Ortho, made me very happy! I'm glad there's someone else who shares the same opinion. The number of fans who infantilizes Ortho is beyond me. I absolutely hate the argument Ortho's mentally "8 years old" it's like they completely forget his storyline.

I'm guessing that the people who genuinely believe the theory that he's "8 years old" are younger fans with no media literacy so no hate towards them but it's frustrating when fans pretend it's Canon when it's not.

Not only that but it’s so sad to see how he's also so mischaracterized by the fandom. He's always seen just as Idia's little brother but never himself despite the fact that Ortho's life doesn't revolve around Idia. He has his own interest and hobbies different from Idia AND he is NOT innocent! Fans tend to forget this is a game about a school full of villains and that includes Ortho too! If I remember correctly Ortho has multiple times tried to blow up the school with his laser! He's violent! He's not a kid.

Unfortunately, I've seen this kind of stuff happening across all fandoms this isn't exclusive to Twisted wonderland. Heck a few months ago I've seen fans in the black butler genuinely believe that Ciel's in fact 9 years old instead of 13 year old!? And then they call us weird? The SebaCiel shippers? Like why do YOU want him to be younger?? I'm getting too old for this.

Thank you so much, Anon! I am happy you also agree.

I don’t hate younger fans, and I know that some people might be genuinely confused; but I also believe that there are a lot of people that simply do not care about Ortho’s actual story and any arguments one could make about this case. The actual issue isn’t Ortho being a certain age, it’s a pretext, an excuse, an invitation to harass. If Ortho didn’t exist, they would still do it with other characters, and even if all the characters were adults, they would still find a reason to do so, like, for example, their appearance. There is no winning in this game, this is why factual arguments won’t work even if Ortho Shroud himself looks in the camera and says “hi, I don’t care if people ship me with my niisan, I am also in fact not 8 years old”.

I am also very glad you mentioned Ortho being his own person! I mentioned it in a previous reply, so I won’t talk about it, but yes, you are absolutely right. Ortho is a menace, and all of his disappointed “come ooon, niisan, don’t do that” moments come from his desire for Idia to have more friends, not because he genuinely cares for other people. He clearly doesn’t – hence his multiple attempts to blow up the school lol

I love it when characters just keep getting younger with every single wave of this shitstorm. Didn’t you know he is 13? How dare you post something like that about a 9 years old! He is a toddler who is only 3 months old! That’s one powerful fountain of youth right there. Antis in Kuroshitsuji fandom do that a lot, just as antis in TWST fandom.

Anonymous asked:

I really feel bad for people who have Ortho as their oshi. It's not like fans of other characters don't get shit on too, apparently pretty much everyone is an immoral heathen these days, but I feel like Ortho gets often excluded in fan content, especially when it features any mature theme.

Also, if you a problem with people liking Ortho in the same way as they do with the rest of the guys, you should take your issues to the creators, since that was definitely their intention when they put him in the pretty boy gacha. Or maybe just play another game.

Anyway Ryu and Katsu, keep doing your thing, cause you guys are awesome!

What I love about it is that Ortho himself would be so pissed if he learned that all the other guys get to do fun mature stuff and he doesn’t lol That’s so not fair, he’s charging his lasers as we speak!

Also yes, it was absolutely the creators’ intention. He is supposed to look like that, just like Lilia is supposed to look like that – both caused confusion in the game story with how young they look, and yet both are a big part of the cast (+ As we know, even Idia was supposed to be younger looking…). Ortho has one of the biggest amounts of cards, he is clearly a popular character, not just a lovely addition or a mascot. 

Thank you so much for your support, Anon <3 It means a lot. This shit might be upsetting, but it will never stop us from creating.

Anonymous asked:

While I am not an Ortho/Idia shipper, I do like your art pieces because your art style is straight-up gorgeous. So when I do see your Shroudcest art Im like: not my cup of tea but I respect the time and effort made into this. (And here is my rant siding with you bc they are fictional characters)

The babyfication of Ortho is something I do not understand. As much as Idia made RoBro in trauma, rn I doubt he wants RoBro to remain stagnant in mind and hardware. With Ortho's ability to learn, he is practically a teenager like the rest. He displays more emotional maturity than most ppl despite his killer laser beam. Kindness, hope, and optimism are traits not limited to children. Shortness is also not limited to children. If we treat other characters by traits often shared by children, then Neige's fellow dwarf classmates are also children. What they don't count bc they are not human? Ortho is not human either. Similarly, Kalim and Silver display positive internal traits of kindness, hope, and optimism. Shortness? Well, we got Grandpa Lilia and the Napoleon complex twins Riddle and Epel. They are all teenagers (minus Lilia) and no one is babying them.

...And are we ignoring all the shit he has seen on the internet. The amount of porn (from adult sites and even the soft-core types you can even find by watching some twitch/yt streamers) that can be seen. Videos of violence, crimes, and ppl doing their best to win the Darwainism Award. Ortho could access and go through like 5 terebytes by the time I reach page two of Google.

As for the Shroudcest, they are fictional characters! You can go straight to phub and have incest type (the sheer amount of the step family porn troupe) porn being acted out by actual breathing people. Do you want to metaphorically die on this hill of ppl shipping fictional 2D characters? Are we just going to ignore you targeting this harmless ship? At least go for a larger target like Game of Thrones or House of Dragons. So much incest in those media that it has it's own fan wiki page, but you don't see ppl go for George R. R. Martin's throat for writing about characters willing or unknowingly committing incest.

It is like people reading/watching media of horror movie killers. It's something you can enjoy or have a preference for because you, as a sane person, will not become a serial killer. AND, as a productive member of society, you condemn actual, real-life serial killers. You read horror stories or watch scary movies for entertainment value not for a guide to be one. Similar logic to furries. Furries consider anthropomorphic creatures as hot, but those same furries are against beastilaity.

TL;DR: While I am not personally a fan of incest or shota type of media, I do not mind they exist (or go after creators who use FICTIONALLY characters to enhance their form of FICTIONAL media), bc they are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS from a FICTIONAL MEDIA. Stop with the performative activism. Use that effort and go after people who do it for real in real life. If you prevent/stop an actual crime from happening, I will applaud and thank you! AND I DOUBT I WILL BE THE ONLY ONE.

Thank you so much, Anon! I am happy that you like my stuff despite not shipping some of our ships. I am very grateful for the respect, and also for your message! I really like your points and I’ll go through them briefly.

The entire part about all those traits not being exclusive to children + about other characters having those traits but still not being babied – YES, thank you so much for that. Like I already mentioned, the game clearly plays with those tropes, and even though the characters are young-looking, they are still of high school age (other than Lilia). Ortho is weird, Ortho is different from some of the other boys, but all of them are weird in their own way, Ortho is just a robot. If we can make “not a human” excuse for the dwarves, why can’t we look at Ortho that way? And yes, Ortho absolutely knows stuff a kid wouldn’t be able to digest lol All of his difficulties come from him being an AI – he doesn’t always get sarcasm, he doesn’t fully understand why people do certain things and doesn’t understand some limitations of human’s body and mind; none of it is tied to him being childish or too innocent.

Incest in media is very popular indeed, and it’s SUPER popular in porn! You are right. If any kind of media ends up “normalising” this kind of relationship, it definitely won’t be shippers of incest. But also that won’t happen because wow, it doesn’t work that way. People love to say that fiction affects reality, and while in a way it does, it’s never a “everyone is going to start shooting people because the videogames brainwashed them” type of deal, and this is exactly what they’re doing with their arguments. It’s fear-mongering, moralism and ignoring the fact that people do in fact know how to separate fiction from reality. And the key to making sure no one is going to jump out the window because their favourite character did so isn’t in censorship, but in people learning this difference and always keeping in it mind. Ironically, that would mean that people who harass others over cartoons can’t make this separation very well because of their lack of critical consumption of media; but then again, they can’t even see (and don’t care, which makes it worse and my point stronger) how their own reckless actions seriously affect real people in real life, and I think this is a more important issue to resolve lol

Unfortunately, people who prefer performative activism very rarely end up becoming real activists, but I do hope that they will at least find some other hobby, something that doesn’t cause so much harm to both innocent people and the cause they claim to be fighting for.

I got a bit carried away there, but yeah, I totally agree with your point, and once again grateful for your understanding. There will always be media that makes you uncomfortable – and that’s the beauty of it. Creativity is a boundless ocean and no amount of bricks can contain it.

Anonymous asked:

I was just scrolling through and saw your explanation of ortho and shroudcest the other day. As tiring as I’m sure it is, it always gives me hope to see people who remember what shipping is really about. I mean problematic content has existed all through human mythos and history, and society still survives! According to the studies the “art morality” argument is roughly the same as “but da violent games!!” Argument, or metal music, or clothes, or any other form of media deemed ‘new’ or ‘too different’.

Anyway, I don’t ship cest stuff myself but your art is lovely and it’s become one of the things I can view without feeling uncomfy despite how my head usually responds to such content (woohoo free therapy??? /j)

I ship ortho with an OC who’s also 16. Said oc’s mother said she would never treat her child differently for who they choose to love, and while she definitely wasn’t expecting a robot, she’s not going back on her word.

Thank you so much, Anon!! YES, this is exactly what shipping is all about! It feels like “umm but they’re not even canon” type of people are suddenly the majority in fandom spaces ahhh lol

As long as art exists, there will always be people who are against it, especially if it’s something niche, and despite how popular fandoms are, all of the fandom activity is a niche, ESPECIALLY shipping, ESPECIALLY this kind of shipping. So unfortunately it’s unavoidable, but it’s so useless and annoying!

I am very happy that you like our stuff. Thank you for enjoying it. Your OC’s mother is amazing and very supportive lol I am sure she and Ortho will get along swimmingly.

[dalishious]

I just wanted to explain something that has been bugging me for a long time.

As an autistic DA fan, sometimes I feel like the Dragon Age fandom has a somewhat negative view of autistic people.

Like when people talk about what they hate about Merrill and Sera, they often cite autisitc traits that I relate to as their reasons for hating them. They just don’t say “I hate her because she’s autistic.”

Sandal and Cole don’t get the same kind of hate because the fandom sees the autistic traits in them as cute. However, the fandom still loves to infantilize them. Sandal especially is just a joke character who “must be a god or something”. Cole is just an innocent baby instead of a well-rounded character.

There’s also David Archer from Mass Effect, whose entire character arc is about his brother’s unethical autism research. When that was revealed in Overlord DLC, it was very upsetting to me for a lot of reasons.

I guess I just feel like there’s ableism in the Bioware fandom from both the in universe writing and from fans.

You are so right

[mackeralsauce]

'kay gonna rant ab some frustrations (very opinionated) with the cuttletavio community and whatnot. don't like it? move on! more down below:

(TW for mentions of heavy topics and similar. I'm tired of people being uncreative and diluting the ship to 'toxic yaoi yay!!!'. Oh, and mentions of NSFW in passing.)

Oh my fucking god. Can we stop with the boring-ass 'Toxic Old Man Yaoi' bullshit already? It's so overplayed and uncreative.

There's gonna be a lot of people who disagree with my takes in this, and frankly, I don't care! I'm shrimply tired of seeing the same old cycle repeat in this fandom of 'cool big artist or writer ends up making something frankly disgusting with cuttletavio'. I block liberally and whatever so there's your forewarning and whatnot.

Another forewarning is that I am very much autistic and so these issues drive me to this point because I see much more potential in the ship! This is one of my special interests.

Part 1: Toxic Tropes, Abuse, and Everything Inbetween.

Every time I hear about something in this fandom, it's someone making content of Octavio and Craig that involves abuse, homewrecking, non-con, racism, fetishization, or anything else under the shit bucket! Yeah, yeah, people on the internet can have their opinions. It's not inherently bad to represent issues like that, but it's the fact that it is ALWAYS portrayed in a romanticized light! Because let me remind you, this community is for the *ship* between these two characters. Representation of such topics need to be done tastefully. Real people are harmed by shit like that, and spoiler alert! I should fucking know.

There's so much "Craig being racist haha!" jokes from certain groups. That's primarily the fault of the NA translation of Splatoon, but it's still quite irritating. There is much more to his character than just that. Really, is that the ONLY fucking joke you idiots have? Damn. Boring as hell! Not to mention we know from interviews that even nowadays he wished for peace and tries to help any Octarian he comes across... Oh, and I won't name names, but some people just straight up BUTCHER his character. Yuck.

Then there's the portrayal of Octavio. Typically, people outside of the cuttletavio community will end up portraying him as a fascist dictator (gross and wrong). We have the opposite problem here. People straight-up infantilize him, make him woobified, etc. which annoys me quite a bit. I think we forget that, y'know... HE IS A SHOGUN? A COMMANDER? Such a government is going to be militaristic. I'm not saying that he's evil, but making him out to be an innocent 'widdol guy' is just. Eugh. Not to mention this is usually done because of headcanons involving him to be trans. I love Trans Octavio headcanons! But I hate the overfeminization and overtwinkification of him. Let him be strong and trans, is that so hard?

And these topics are the small potatas. My biggest gripe is when people make their ship to be just 'toxic yaoi' and bluh bluh boring. Look, I get it, there's people who eat that slop up. Whatever floats your boat. But holy FUCK the amount of straight-up garbage and romanticization and lack of creativity I see...

Part 2: Missed Potential and Lack of Creativity.

Oh my fucking god. We have this one ship between two queer adults who grow to old age, and you guys can't even let it be healthy? Yes, I get there was war, but it doesn't mean they were fucking toxic when they were dating. Whatever your interpretation is, you don't have to make them cruel, horrible people to each other. Even if your interpretation involves them being morally grey or complex characters, you can make them have flaws without making them abusers.

Let me explain this: Romance is very, very complicated. It's not all sex, and it's not all fluff either. Most interpretations I see of cuttletavio are often 'All or Nothing' on certain factors. The three popular topics people put their stocks in are Angst, Sex, and Fluff. This is expected in fandom, but what bothers me is that so few people actually consider the alternatives, and that its usually ALL of one trait without anything else. Angst for the purpose of just angst doesn't hit, it's just edgy and boring. All smut with no love will wear thin. Tooth-rotting fluff has no substance if you don't even show the platonic side of their relationship. A good romance is oft built on a good friendship. Why not delve into those aspects? If you need them to kiss to tell they're in love, then you're doing it wrong.

Of course, that critique is moreso a small one. Beginner writers can easily fall into those and that's alright. Why it bothers me is because there is such a drought of good content- at least from my scope of view thus far- in cuttletavio. There is potential for greatness (and I am not slacking on trying to showcase this; I am working on my own content in the meantime), but hardly anyone delves into it. Why not explore how they got to know each other? The complexities of their characters? Tropes are alright, but get to a deeper level, and find the human within the idea. Not only that, but explore the world they're in! The circumstances of why they're in war! The politics, the governments, and the cultures of the time. These are old men in a fictional post-apocalyptic society devoid of humans. The inkfish could have evolved culturally in completely different ways! Please, just explore SOMETHING!

Y'wanna know why the whole toxic yaoi shit bothers me so much? Because it lacks creativity. It's overdone. Stale bread. It's like the slop they serve in a school cafeteria. You can get toxic yaoi ANYWHERE! It's such a common, overplayed trope for mlm ships, that you'll never go devoid of it. So why make cuttletavio into it? I haven't seen anything creative enough to excuse it. All i've seen is people committing character assassination and stripping them of any of their intrigue or humanity. It's bland. I'm sick of it.

Conclusion.

I'm too exhausted to write any more of this but yeagh. Just sick of this shit. There is potential to these two old men, both in their youthful and elderly years. Let them make love, war, friendship, and peace. Don't reduce them to poor dollar-a-dime toxic yaoi tropes that have become tired and sloppy from years of poorly written BL and similar.

If you can't write/draw/etc. good romance or sex without making them abusive in ANY way (cheating, non-con, physically, emotionally, etc.) then you need to learn how to write complex characters and complex stories. You can have characters argue without it being abuse. You can have complicated dynamics without all that.

[yoinkschief]

I too have that little ‘no one understands them like I do’ thing going on. It is only partially not my fault

Bro help I hate the fandom so much with my little guy specifically. Every time I try to find stuff about them I can never escape just how much people infantalize them. It is an issue

And yes, I would be crucified by many for saying ‘that’s an adult’. And shipping??? Oh yea my head is ending up on a spike for that :)

OH MY GODD NO THAT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE NO IDEA

I mentioned this on the tags of the last post and it's not a huge deal more of an ick cause orgs not canon (yet(?)) but Marvin within the fandom, at least last I checked, is like FAMOUSLY asexual, yet I cannot escape the amount of ns//fw shit with him in it it makes me crazy

Gol-ly man, the infantilization of characters has followed me EVERYWHERE, 2016-2018 Tord specifically, also Edd and SEVERELY Matt, I know everyone talks about Tord because he's like the most jarring to see in that way but MATT WAS DONE SO DIRTY

Bro was treated like Derpy Hooves was by the majority of the fandom, incredibly ableist towards a very autistic coded character and infantalizing

God and pro shippers too, it's like really bad now cause I'm like an adult and it's so hard getting into fandoms that is prominently kids, like Gravity Falls ran in my youth so the people who watched it at the same time are like the same age as me, but The Owl House is ROUGH, and my bestie and I share this sentiment because we both love TOH BUT WE DON'T CARE WHO HUNTER WANTS TO KISS I WANNA KNOW HOW FUCKED UP HIS CHILDHOOD WAS SO I CAN GAUGE HIS TRAUMA METER RAHHH

But like actual proshipping sucks so hard cause even when I was kid I had that shit around me at all times, I WASN'T EVEN ONLINE THEN EITHER, not prominently anyway, I had CLASSES with this chick who OPENLY SHIPPED DIPPER AND MABEL

LIKE BRO ????? YOU'RE GONNA SCREAM "TWINCEST IS BESTCEST" IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAFETERIA LIKE THAT ???? ARE YOU MAD ?????????

[diseaseriddencube]

cutthroat has the 'tism headcanons

"uwu Rae isn't it kinda gross to give the serial killer character autism headcanons like isn't that villainizin-" shut up, i'm autistic, i would kill people too, murder is sexy and autistic and-

he fidgets, like, you can see him playing with his knifeys when he's got nothing else to do, and swinging his leggys when he sits

he's kind of a weirdo, like very much a weirdo, in the sense that he probably thinks he's pretty normal and just doesn't realize he's acting like a bit of a weirdo

special interest: murder, red things (i know he doesn't talk much actually but i'm sure you could get him talking like crazy if you asked him about why he likes red things) (and you know what, this is a more personal hc, but he had a previous SpIn in magic)

weird fucking posture, this is a stage play thing but if he doesn't have to stand, he likes to crouch (L vibes tbh)

actually another stage play thing which is basically fidgeting but i mean just LOOK at this movement, this is such a happy stim

are we even gonna mention that he's probably a picky eater, i understand narratively that their food choices were to show off character traits, but he's presumably been unfed in days and he chooses marshmallows of all things. he mentions liking his marshmallows to look a certain way as well (we're gonna ignore the cannibalism aspect <3)

his emotions seem pretty intense and sensitive, but he actually has a flat affect most of the time

he seems kind of socially inept, i know swindler is a special case but there's almost no consideration to what she says or what his actions/words would invoke in her, and he literally never talks to anyone else

^adding to this, he has no concept of personal space at all (though this may due to him thinking he literally owns her)

not to be infantilizing but I don't think we can ignore the obvious childish traits coded into his character (commonly associated with autism)

he seems to get bored really easily, like he can't stand just sitting around waiting

he seems kinda stupid but he does think outside the box, as seen with him using his knives to break the barrier when 10000 IQ hacker had nothing to offer and swindler was...panicking -_-

he gets hyperfocused on a task and ignores literally any pain in order to continue that task

probably has low interoception??? like he hardly seems to notice pain, and if any character would complain about being hungry, it would be him...but he doesn't, so i get the feeling he may just Not Feel It

also you cannot tell me that a character who dresses like this, doesn't have some sort sensory preference. I assume his clothes are weighted (due to both layers and knives) and the looseness is his specific preference for comfort

^ and he wears fucking leggings under his shorts, which is literally something i do when i hate the feel of the shorts/pants, i put a layer of good texture leggings under

object empathy > human empathy: he's way more visibly distraught over a beloved object (knife) getting damaged than....hundreds of human lives (and yk what, he kinda views Swindler as an object too)

^ but really this is like the most no-empathy having motherfucker i've ever seen

cluelessness about normal social things like not knowing what dating is (....ignoring the actual obvious reason he wouldn't know what it is)

and TW but self harm and suicide are actually somewhat common in autism and i mean-.... kind of-confirmed cutter and manga-confirmed suicidal person

autistic people like stacking things, and well, we all know what he spent ages stacking >:)

inability to lie/extreme honesty: he literally doesn't even hide his desire to kill swindler he just straight up asks for permission, and his attempt at lying is...pathetic to say the least

his vocabulary also seems....limited

unusual sleeping habits: he sleeps in a bathtub for god's sake

echolalia: "red! red! red!"

[ocdhuacheng]

1 and 24 for the ask meme please?

hiiiiiiii im gonna do the same as the last one and answer these for csm mp100 and tgcf, if u want smth else too lmk

the character everyone gets wrong

CSM: there are so many but the takes ive seen about the part 2 trio make my blood boil. no denji and asa are not incels yoshida is not some creepy predator theyre literally just teenagers leave them alone. god.

MP100: idk i feel like in general the mobbles fandom has more media literacy than others from what ive seen... but i dont like it when everyone makes serizawa into some uwu baby who cant do literally anything. yeah he has trauma and anxiety and autism but that doesnt make him like. incompetent. and i remember seeing some infantilization of mob that is pretty distasteful... kind of just the broader trend of people infantilizing autistic characters :/

TGCF: do i even need to say it. literally no one does hualian right except my beloved mutuals. i hate fanon hualian so fucking much its unreal. suave yaoi hands refrigerator hua cheng and uwu uwah cute scared blushy bunny xie lian make me gag

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

CSM: people getting angry at other people calling himeno and makima groomers/pedophiles??? of all the things to be pissed about... also dudebros. just engaging with dudebros in general and people who are like hes just like me fr about denji bc they just think hes only a horny pervert and project their misogyny onto him. also people who hate asa have the worst takes ever. (theyre usually either dudebros or yoshiden shippers either way it sucks).

MP100: uh. i dont know have i ever even seen much discourse in the mob fandom? maybe just like. people trying to justify shipping mob with reigen or ritsu or whatever thats the only thing i can think of right now

TGCF: top bottom discourse. literally the most mind numbing thing ever. also adults who call everyone puriteens or whatever for not being into what theyre into and who think minors are attacking their rights by having opinions and think getting their followers to dogpile/harass kids is an appropriate response to them making fun of you or even just disagreeing with you. youre the adult here so act like it.

i feel like im probably forgetting some for this question maybe bc i just blocked it out idk but yea

anyway.

thanks for the ask :3

[glitchyk]

I fucking hate the stereotype of shit like this.

Yes, I know an AroAce individual who doesn’t know what sex is and he is the innocent kind and I damn well ain’t gonna tell him, but he can also kick you ass and has managed to cut someone when playing with a foam sword, he can fuck you up.

I also have a friend who’s AroAce and makes sex jokes all the time, and he is fucking asexual, which is normal with this kinda shit since it’s a god damn spectrum.

My little brother is autistic and he is a cinnamon roll and I’d fuck you ip if you messed with him.

I have autistic friends that will fuck you up if you mess with them and I know damn well at least one of them is asexual.

Mom gonna lose my shit with the fact that some people don’t fucking understand this.

EVERYTHING IS A SPECTRUM.

Just like there is with color, and light, and all that shit, THERES VARIANTS.

AUTISUM IS A SPECTRUM.

AROMANTISISUM IS A SPECTRUM.

ASEXUALISUM IS A SPECTRUM.

And since EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THOSE HAS ALMOST UNLIMITED VARIANTS FOR HOW A PERSON ACTS, you’re not allowed to judge shit if you think people who are Aro or Ace or autistic are one fucking thing or another— you can just shut the fuck up. Infantilizing someone because of something like this is stupid, character or non, it’s just as much of a problem as trying to change a character’s sexuality in a story since you want them to have romance and/or sex, some people need to stop acting like this is a fucking boundary with both characters and people.

People are all different, fucking accept that. Or you’re no better than the ones trying to take away from the entire community.

I don't think it's infantilizing to headcanon an autistic character as asexual especially since there are many autistic asexuals and a lot of them may see themselves in these characters. What should raise an eyebrow is when they get the "precious innocent baby cinnamon roll who doesn't know what sex is" treatment cause if I'm being completely honest that characterization is offensive to both autistic and asexual people

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer anon]

You know I see people asked why autistic characters are written so poorly in progressive media especially in kids media where it often treated as a superpower….god I hate left leaning Gen x and millennial writers so FUCKING much!

But like I seen people headcanon Batman to be autistic…it more that Bruce is a perfectionist, just I realize why, because you see a autistic mc would be very unconventional like Batman is to the standard hero idea.

Now I’m project myself, if I was to do a fantasy setting with autism protagonist…he would be very pro industrialization. Not to say destroy the environment bad, but proper medicine for better life. Textiles allow more clothing options with ones that fit his sense, and such.

Also the other thing, were my hero uniforms?! As in sophistication?! I don’t give a shit if it “military propaganda” (especially since these fuckers support Hamas) I need my armor back, give me armies again, not rags!

Also another thing…pssst writers! Autism is a PART of most autistic personalities. So we are products of our environments, like how my midwestern and southern roots pop up a lot when writing

And I’m pretty sure many high functioning autistic people can probably agree on. Many high functioning autistics are infantilize as children because it makes life tolerable for the lazy parents. Vs saying giving us good coping strategies as adults.

Just projecting…also characters designers…highly recommended giving a lot of autistic characters face masks or helmets as just like how many of us have it hard to read expressions. It also hard for us to express properly so we might come off as sociopaths!

Also you should make more than one autistic characters in your series to show the differences…wait two autistic characters would try to kill each other if they are in the same room lol!

I’m just one guy…but the issues with autism representation that progressives are trying to overcorrect the demonization organization such as Autism Speaks cause…which treating autistic adults as mentally disabled toddlers with nooo libido.

Seriously how do these people research autism before writing?

I don't know enough about all of the different types and levels to be able to pick out what is and isn't poorly written other than the ones that are so over the top that it's glaringly obvious.

Problem would be we've got writers that want to be inclusive and all that jazz that are in the same boat as me, but unlike me they decide to just plod on forward and keep on writing rather than researching or even speaking to people in the community.

Also the other thing, were my hero uniforms?! As in sophistication?! I don’t give a shit if it “military propaganda” (especially since these fuckers support Hamas) I need my armor back, give me armies again, not rags!

there's a reason for uniforms, it's supposed to make it so innocents don't die because the opposing side can tell who is who and so can your side.

Also you should make more than one autistic characters in your series to show the differences…wait two autistic characters would try to kill each other if they are in the same room lol!

but then they'd need to actually research different ways that different autistic people behave, and that's too much work.

If I were to write something I'd probably avoid most all of that stuff, partly because of the effort involved and partly because people will still complain.

I’m just one guy…but the issues with autism representation that progressives are trying to overcorrect the demonization organization such as Autism Speaks cause…which treating autistic adults as mentally disabled toddlers with nooo libido.

that's one of those things that could be solved with the barest amount of research, which as previously stated they don't seem to do, especially if they contact autism speaks.

That's the way you know to avoid that particular piece of media

Seriously how do these people research autism before writing?

see previous statement

[016s]

I already expressed this sentiment but I think I have to properly express it & get it out completely so my mind can stop looping it but. Really hate the autism diagnosis hitting at age 29 and not as a kid like it seems to have for most other autistic people I interact w/ because now here I am at age 32 going on 33 completely unable to properly form new friendships/relationships or maintain my pre-existing ones because I just cannot emotionally regulate properly or talk properly at all. The way I conversate & word things is somehow always wrong in a million different ways and it's so frustrating I just want to give up on having any human connections in my life at all. Sometimes I genuinely think if loneliness wasn't a problem I'd like to just drop everything & everyone and spend the rest of my life alone because I think I would be so much better off, not in the self-deprecating depression way of "everyone's better without me because I'm so awful," but because I sincerely just cannot handle the amount of maintenance it takes to keep up/form relationships. I hate the stereotype that autism is a kid thing or something to be infantilized but at the same time it feels so fucking humiliating and embarrassing and frustrating to be an adult with it. It feels like every yr when I receive a reminder I am still an autistic adult and still cannot properly talk to people it's just worse and worse. Not fun with depression either though because I keep turning this all inward and it keeps making me think there is something innately wrong with me as a person, unrelated to being autistic. Feels like even if that was taken away I'd still just be god awful at ever connecting with people.

[maladaptvs]

critiques of love on the spectrum that i fucking hate.

the “infantilizing” music - you’ve clearly never watched reality tv before. everyone is made to look stupid. we are stupid. it’s fun. it’s FUN. i know you’re autistic but oh my god if the cast can recognize that it’s a lighthearted REALITY TV SHOW you should be able to as well.

the “autism expert” didn’t visit everyone - i’m sorry, do you think all autistic people have the same support needs ??? that’s terribly problematic. it seems you think some of the cast aren’t doing things “right” and need a “coach” (genuine bullshit i’ve seen regarding james, who is doing JUST FINE??? more respectful and interesting than you are i’m sure.), when it’s simply not up to you to determine that. the families of and the cast themselves whom Jennifer visited are clearly thankful for and accepting of her help. you are not watching the damn show.

the likes/dislikes intro - are you even autistic? of course we don’t all share the same traits and opinions but if you have an ounce of understanding for other autistic people, you should know that this makes it EASIER TO MEET PEOPLE. i wish we all came with a list to compare. ridiculous opinion. it doesn’t “minimize” anyone. it gives you insight to their personality. this is a person. a person who likes frogs. she’s proud of her frog affiliation or she wouldn’t have listed it. take the stick out of your ass. i’m going to start introducing myself in this format to spite you.

“infantilizing” in general - because god forbid an autistic person is immature, right? ffs. the show isn’t making the cast out to be incompetent. we say weird shit. we are blunt. we have stuffed animals. we can’t live on our own. we need a support system, and sometimes that system will speak for/about us. that’s part of their job. we. are. weird. it’s not fucking infantilizing to broadcast our failures. it’s real, and frankly it’s needed. we are autistic adults and our struggles don’t equate us to children. adults struggle!!! YOU are infantilizing them, clearly.

iT’s LiKE a DocUMEntARy - A, what a strange thing for you to say. v insightful. B, YOU’VE NEVER SEEN REALITY TV BEFORE !!!!!!!!! STOP SPEAKING ON REALITY TV ????

[transbee]

yknow some1 once told me they didn't expect me to swear so much because to them i didn't "look like someone who would" and started dressing as punk as possible n have stopped putting on my nice person act since then so i hope they know they were the beginning of my corruption arc

[owlets-outlet]

apparently a kdrama with a female autistic lead came out?? so my autistic ass is gonna watch it and let you know how good it is.

ok so first of all. i feel like this is the first kdrama with an autistic lead ever??? and she´s female too??? LOVE. IT. i am also not expecting perfect rep tho, because its... a kdrama. cmon.

episode 1:

things i disliked:

-first and foremost: the whole “oh no, shes autistic :(( horrible news for me as a dad...” thing is just not the vibe. props to him being a loving father tho

-the whole autistic genius thing is overdone by now

-her geniality somehow “made it better to bear” that shes autistic?? mm

-she´s played by a neurotypical actress. i personally dont care that much, especially considering that SK is a small country and its hard to look for autistic actors, but still

-she´s very much the autistic stereotype that we all know. again, nothing i hate too much, because the fact that theres an autistic female lead in a kdrama is a huge step

-occassionally in the outro graphics and in some of the soundtrack, there are elements of infantilization. guys pls dont play silly music while the mc is forced to relive childhood trauma and her personal space is being violently invaded by an angry, screaming man, thank you.

-this one im conflicted about: ocd like symptoms. yes, autistic people do sometimes who them, but sometimes autistic people have ocd as a separate disorder. also its a stereotypical symptom. but its okay i guess.

things i liked:

-the story is told through her perspective. we also get her narration sometimes, revealing that she is a three dimensional person, just cant express some parts outwardly.

-ramblessssss! theyre p good actually

-she is her own person, capable of making her own decisions and doesnt need saving. she is capable of expressing and communicating her needs. (unless shes having a meltdown, or overstimulated. many people on the spectrum cant, and thats okay, but im glad she has agency, ok,it doesnt happen often in media) only needs support when things get unbearable. very nice.

-law isn´t her special interest, whales are! many shows make the persons special interest their whole personality, glad they branched out lol

-accurate representation of overstimulation and anxiety in public spaces

-connected to the last point, her coping mechanisms and stims are accurate to real life and relatable: noise cancel headphones with white noise, pacing when stressed to ground herself, finger stimming...

-stims actually dont look a caricature!! even though they´re basic and stereotypical, they are real and not overexaggerated

-represents sensory issues well, they arent basic, but personalized to her, which is great! for example: her dad removes all tags from her clothes bcs they bother her, she has a specific safe food (bibimbap)

-lack of empathy is handled well too. she uses logic to determine how others may feel, but it is shown that its something she had to learn! very good

-also!! she. has emotions, just doesnt express them the way other people would!!

-a big one: THE VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF HER INSIDE WORLD ISNT TRIGGERING TO ME. it still may be to some people, but, unlike the music movie (ew), it isnt bright, flashing and fast paced: its flowing, with neutral, soft colors and calm noises

-her and her best friend are the perfect adhd and autism solidarity

-her aversion to touch seems to be handled well so far: she learns to tolerate it, not like it (thank god), for the sake of comforting other people (not to please them, but only when needed)

-its a kdrama. shes getting a love interest. an autistic person being treated as an adult?? with a love interest?? DAMN (the bar is on the floor, huh)

i will update this as i make my way further through the episodes, but im cautiously optimistic so far!

[autisticsociologymajor]

The problem with color coded pumpkins

In case you haven’t seen, it’s a thing that children who go trick or treating might have a colored pumpkin. The point of this is that the color of the pumpkin is supposed to symbolize something about them.

I’m specifically talking about blue pumpkins for autism in this post.

Some online articles will say that blue or teal pumpkins are used to “bring awareness,” or “raise awareness for how Halloween affects ‘children with autism spectrum disorders’” (their words, not mine) or (this was literally one I just read) “a nonverbal way to communicate the child has ‘special needs’.”

The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t bring awareness to anything except the autistic child and the fact that they’re autistic.

Wtf do people think is going to happen??? WHY?? I would be fkn HUMILIATED if my parents made me walk around basically with a huge badge that told the world what I don’t want them to know about me (the fact I’m autistic) Fkn. Humiliated.

People generally DO NOT understand autism enough to give a dam anyways?!?! They will see that pumpkin and MAYBE know what it means. That absolutely does not stop them from being d!cks to the person trick or treating if they display autistic traits & the other person happens to not understand a dam thing about autism.

It puts a target on them. If enough people know what the color of their pumpkin means, it opens them up to a world of hate and discontent. Does nobody understand that?

V!0lence, bullying, exclusion, infantilization (yes, in a way you can infantilize autistic children, sorry not sorry)… how about the “autism isn’t real” people?? The ones who will straight up tell a child to their face that they aren’t autistic because they happen to not “believe in it”?? Or even more sinister, the ones who will try to take advantage, knowing through symbolism that the child may be more prone to gullibility?

Would you make your gay kid walk around with a rainbow pumpkin to tell everyone they’re gay? Your kid with POTS walk around with a turquoise pumpkin? Kid with IBS with a periwinkle pumpkin?

“It brings awareness!” TO WHAT?? If people are not going to research autism on their own, they’re not gonna research it just because they see a fkn blue pumpkin. Where’s the correlation?? Fkn awareness. To your child, yes. To autism, no. Absolutely not. Not in this hateful, disgusting society. Stop underestimating how “stuck in their own ways” and how uneducated non-autistic people are when it comes to their insignificant opinions about autism. They. Don’t. Care.

FOR EXAMPLE

A few kids came to my house today with blue pumpkins. The first was very early in the evening — a little girl who 1) didn’t say trick or treat and 2) didn’t hold out her blue pumpkin for me to put the candy in. She held her pumpkin closely and tightly with two hands in front of her. She just stared at me while her 5 siblings crowded around her. She was clearly visibly overwhelmed. And her parents were nowhere to be seen. Her oldest sibling must have been about 10-12yrs old.

Because I’m autistic & deeply understand what these situations feel like… how did I respond to her?

The first thing I saw was the god forsaken pumpkin. I said trick or treat to her and didn’t get all b!tchy and whiny when she didn’t say it back. I just kept on & asked her if she liked *this candy this candy or this candy*, held them out and let her point/nod at which she liked. I gave her candy first so she could walk to the end of my driveway first, away from her siblings who were clearly overwhelming her by crowding around her so tightly. When she didn’t hold her bucket out for ME, I came to HER. When she loudly shouted some phrase that her sibling immediately felt like telling me means “thank you” to her while she ran to the end of the driveway, I didn’t make it a point to turn it into a fkn issue that she didn’t say the words “thank you.” She said it in her own way.

How would a neurotypical who either knows nothing about autism or has outdated, biased opinions about autism possibly have responded to that girl?

Likely, they would’ve told her she can’t have candy until she says trick or treat or they would’ve somehow made it a point to bring awareness to the fact she didn’t say it. They might have ignored her completely. Or pointed out the fact she appeared as if she was in a “bad mood” in front of everybody. They would’ve responded to her with sourness and discontent. They likely would’ve given her candy last since they probably wouldn’t have liked her perceived “attitude.” Some a$$holes might have even tried to physically pull her pumpkin away from how closely she had it hugged to her body just to drop a piece of candy in it. And they most definitely would’ve made it a big deal that she didn’t say thank you as “thank you.” They most likely would’ve treated her with indifference or some degree of caution, and she likely would’ve noticed.

Imagine this happening to you several times in one night when you’re already overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter that she had a blue pumpkin. People do not understand autism. They do not care. They do not know how to accommodate or treat us with dignity & equity because they know NOTHING about us!! The us that is represented by US… NOT some fkn organization who claims they understand us yet won’t even allow our voices to be louder than theirs for a single fkn second.

Secondly, I live in a small town. There is one elementary school. One middle/high school. Kids she knows now will know her until if or when she or they move out of this town. There’s a very strong chance that kids she goes to school with saw her with her blue pumpkin. There’s a strong chance at least one of their parents recognized and drew ATTENTION to it with their own child/family. Not awareness. Attention. If one child in a small town knows something, so do the rest of them. If they didn’t already know, they do now. And kids can be mean. Especially to autistic kids.

Blue pumpkins don’t bring awareness to a dam thing. They draw attention to autistic children, and that attention often isn’t good attention. Even if it’s well intentioned… people still do not understand enough about us to know how to treat us right now. Even if they know about autism from awareness advertising, they do not understand. Knowing and understanding are completely different. And you never know who will understand and who will not.