#goat yells about soda?

[huskynotwolf]

Convexian Hitman AU

Part 1 I guess

AU by @tibbycaps/ @tibby-art

Written by @thecrazyhusky

(I mixed in dsmp, it’s more fun with those swearing idiots :D )

Mission: Find and destroy target’s weapon supply (target’s name is Tubbo and Jack Manifold)

Cub’s PoV

“I want you to destroy his weapons.” Doc looked at us, dead serious.

We (me and Scar) were in the NHO’s conference room, listening to Bdubs rant about this new case we had to deal with. Scar had already yawned at least two times and I had grabbed every single one of their cans of carbonated drinks or whatever at the table and shook them so hard they looked like ticking bombs. Etho was also eyeing us with much suspicion, and I suspected he was up to something.

“All of them?” I asked.

“All of them.” The goat-creeper confirmed. “He was some sort of former president of a country. He’s got some ass-load of explosives. Specifically, bombs. Lots of those.”

“Ah.” Scar smiled. “Big boom.”

“Really?” I looked at him.

“And here are the conditions, since you three are definitely gonna loophole out of this.” Doc growled.

“You have to get this done by this week, which is three days. No eating anyone, and I mean anyone. You find those explosives, disable them, then leave. Nothing else. I don’t want those Snowchester people come fighting with nukes.”

I raised an eyebrow. “They got nukes?”

Scar sniggered. I kicked him.

Doc glared at my fellow Vex. “And bring Grian. He’ll be of use.”

“Grian? You sure?” I asked.

“Yes.” Doc grunted. “And you better get the job done. Go. Now.” He said.

I nodded, grabbed Scar’s wrist and dragged him out of the conference room, heading down to Grian’s “office”, while hearing Bdubs and Beef screech loudly along to the sounds of soda exploding. I allowed myself a slight smile.

“Dang it. Should’ve rigged ‘em better.” I said.

Scar gave me a look. “Don’t tell me you shook all of them.”

“I did. But I could’ve just fitted them with grenades instead.” I replied, taking a left turn down the hallway.

We found her studying a file about Tubbo.

“Hey.” She greeted us, not looking up.

“Hiya. You ready?” I asked.

Since Grian has her Watcher powers, she could technically see us coming, so I assumed she was already prepared.

“Let’s just go. Tango yelled at me earlier. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.” She stood up, then walked towards us.

“Tango? Why?” Scar asked.

“None of your concern.” She shrugged.

We headed out the door, taking the lift down, then exiting the building. As soon as we stepped out, Grian winced.

“You okay?” I asked her.

“Y-yeah,” she replied. “It’s just…overwhelming.”

“Hmm.” I shot a glance at Scar. “Scar, you got the map? Coords, at least?”

“Ask the all-seeing.” He pointed at Grian. Grian made a low growling sound.

“Wow, I though you prepped.” She muttered under her breath.

“Yes, I have the map. It’s in my head.” She raised her voice.

“Great!” Scar smiled. “Let’s go, then.”

I leaned closer to Grian. “You okay, dude?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s…” she exhaled. “Alright.”

“Good.” I said, then secretly kicked Scar. The man glared at me but I didn’t reply.

“Let’s go.”

***

“We gonna take a subway. Then a cross-country train. Then another high-speed railroad.” I said, laying down a drawn map.

“Snowchester’s all the way out there, so we probably need to either stop to eat on the way, or we have to bring food.” I rolled up the map and shoved it in my pack.

Scar rolled his eyes. “You’re concerned about eating?”

“Grian needs to eat as well.” I hissed.

I had shoved the three of us into a Seven Eleven’s, where my reason was, “we need substance.”

Grian nudged Scar. “Here’s the thing, bud. We don’t have money. How-“

I waved a five dollar bill I snatched from someone. “Steal.”

“Did you get his whole wallet?” Scar asked, his eyes glinting mischievously.

I gave a low chuckle. “Duh I did.” I held out the stolen wallet. Scar sniggered. “This guy’s got a hundred and fifty.”

Grian gave us a look of annoyance and frustration. “You know it’s illegal to steal, right?”

Scar materialised behind her, making her jump. “Nah. It’s fine.”

Grian narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t snap back a comment.

I handed Scar about thirty dollars worth of bills. “Grian, you can go with Scar to buy food.” She shot me a dirty look, got up and disappeared behind the aisles with the Vex.

I took out twenty and nabbed a sandwich and two bottles of water, in which to avoid getting yelled at by Grian, I payed for it instead of stealing it.

Though I will admit I stole a can of Sprite.

Yeah. Maybe.

Grian bought coffee and milk tea (where did she find that?) and Scar bought a bun and bottled Cola, though I could tell he didn’t intend to drink it, he’s just gonna prank me with it.

As we left that store, I searched for enough money to get us to the subway station. Six dollars to get in, then they needed eighteen. I decided not to give them the coins and bills yet, as Scar had a tendency to lose things.

Very, very often.

We headed to the subway station, while Grian kept cautiously looking around for signs of danger. However, despite this, Scar seemed extremely carefree.

“G, man, there’s nothing to worry ‘bout. It’s not like someone would just suddenly drop down and try and kill us, right?” He said to no one in particular.

“Don’t jinx it.” She huffed. “I see something. Though I can’t pinpoint where it is.”

I approached the subway tunnel, with the two nitwits trailing behind. “Yeah, something’s definitely wrong. I can feel it.”

I stepped down the stair, then halted when something whizzed past me and embedded itself into the wall with a thunk.

“Honestly, Foolish, how bad can your aim be!” I heard a yell. The three of us swivelled our heads towards the noise, and standing on the side of the street, armed with crossbows, were two deranged-looking people. At least that’s what the first word that came to my head when I saw them.

The one who shot the projectile, Foolish, looked suspiciously like a totem of undying, and it made me question whenever he’s an actual totem or not. His friend was a girl who wore dark sunglasses and had long streaks of hair running down both sides of her head. What she wore screamed pirate in every way.

Grian sighed. “Scar, you jinxed it.”

Scar glared at her. “No I didn’t!”

I slapped Scar before he could argue any further and hissed, “don’t make the situation worse, dumbass!” and marched towards the pair with crossbows. Scar gave me an offended look but I knew he was playing around for fun.

“What do you want?” I demanded.

Foolish looked at me. “You don’t have the authority to order me around.” He said.

“You just tried to kill me. Are you hitmen?” I snapped.

His friend glared at me. “You were trying to destroy our military.”

Grian and Scar came up from behind. “What do you know about that?” Grian challenged.

“I know for a fact that you were sent to destroy our nukes. We’re from Snowchester, mind you.” The girl growled.

Grian suddenly looked like he was lost in thought. Scar stared at her, then shook her to try snap her out of her trance, but did nothing except from earning a well-deserved smack in the face by her.

“Well, we don’t really care about who sent you. This is about our country’s safety. You back off, or we’ll make you.” Sunglasses Girl said, raising her crossbow.

I processed her words, then turned to Scar. “Wait, if we die, is our contract technically broken?”

He paused. “Wait…you know what? You’re right! We can just let ‘em kill us!”

“But do we like, reincarnate or something? What do you think we’d be-“

Sunglasses Girl facepalmed. “No-that’s not what I meant! I don’t want anyone dead!”

Foolish nudged her. “Whatever, Puffy. They’re not part of our nation.”

Grian shook her head. “You have your own problems. Deal with whoever the fuck Dream is first, then come back and kill us. Besides, Tubbo is a literal threat to society.” She said. “You shouldn’t be listening to that menace.”

Puffy, aka Sunglasses Girl, looked promptly taken aback by Grian’s comment. “How do you know about Dream?”

“Can we take this conversation somewhere else? We’re attracting quite a lot of unwanted attention.” Grian interrupted. “One dude who passed by thought you were a terrorist.”

Foolish and Puffy took a while to discuss, and as soon as they took their eyes off the us and Grian, I took out the stolen can of Sprite, shook it hard, opened it (but barely) then yeeted it at Foolish. It landed on the ground and the entire can burst like a grenade, spewing soda everywhere.

We bolted for it, making a beeline for the subway station, with Scar mainly being dragged all the way. By the time the pair from Snowchester realised what’s happening, we were already down the subway and had managed to get into the train already.

“Ok, that was…awkward.” Grian panted, slightly out of breath.

I grunted. “Whatever. You shouldn’t have told them about your powers.”

She shook her head. “I…sorry.” She muttered.

“Eh. We could go back and kill them both.” I shrugged.

Scar nodded. “Actually, yeah. I would love to do that.”

Grian paled. “No you don’t!” She cried. “Why must you always kill people left and right?”

Both of us Vexes turned their piercing gaze at her. She immediately shut up and sank into the seat.

“Can I kill Tubbo?” Scar asked.

“No,” Grian and I said almost simultaneously. I gave her a look but she said nothing.

“Aww.” He huffed. “I’m bored.”

“You won’t be when we reach the border.” Grian said.

“What?” I asked. “Are you talking about…the border between the city and Greater Dream SMP or whatever that place is called?”

She nodded. “You know we don’t have our IDs or passports. It’s gonna be a wild chase with the border guards there.”

“Ooo, what do they do?” Scat asked.

Grian groaned. “They would chase you down on horses and they never stop. Literally, they could hunt you continuously for days without stopping.”

“Sounds fun,” Scar said.

Grian bit her lip to prevent herself from snapping back at him.

I looked at her. “Listen, if you know about the border guards, do you think we can get past them?”

She nodded. “You can get past them, but it’s gonna be hard.”

I gave both of them a wide smile. “Alright. We have two hitmen on our trail, we don’t have IDs of any sort and we’re about to be chased down by a few border guards. What’s the worse that could happen?”

To be continued

(I did it on another platform and then tried to paste it on Tumblr but ended up with so much lag I can’t even type properly lol)

[pbandjesse]

I don't know why but I felt absolutely horrible for most of today. It honestly scares me. Like I just want everything to be okay in my body. I want the person I'm growing to be okay. But I feel horrible so I am also just scared. We go to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully they can give me some answers or comfort?

Most of today was still good. I tried to push through how bad I felt to enjoy my day with James.

I didn't sleep good. I almost threw up a few times last night and hurt my throat. When James got back they tried to take care of me but I was just really upset. It wasn't fun.

I woke up a lot. And when I woke up this morning I just did not feel good. I would get up and took a shower and tried to feel better.

I really liked my outfit. James would come lay with me for a little bit. Helped me chose shoes and I chose these orange loafers because I need to break them in and we had a few minutes of laughing and being silly trying to get them on my feet. They actually would be really comfortable but would cause a blister on my left foot. Ouchie.

We decided we would go to breakfast at a pancake house we haven't ever been too. And then we would go to the zoo. Then errands. And even though it was a little rainy and drizzly it would actually be a really nice time.

The pancake house has terrible vibes. It was very classy formerly a club? The layout was very bad. But the food was actually really good. James got a coconut waffle and I got avocado toast. My only bad thing was the soda was a bottle and not a fountain soda but I lived. And I really enjoyed my breakfast.

We were overhearing the conversation next to us. About a tattoo shop and James didn't say anything until we left but one of them was a football player??? Neat!

After brunch we drove over to the zoo. And I'm so glad we went today. We had umbrellas but we barely needed them. The drizzle was pleasent. And we got to see so many amazing behaviors from the animals!

We were mainly there to see the otter, Nora, before she moved to Virginia. But we saw so many other great things.

We started with the penguins. The volunteer over there chatted to us about the BMI and how he wants to donate some neat stuff he has. And then we meet inside the penguin building and one of the penguins was in the water and I was running back and forth with him. It was great.

The flamingos were fighting?? Just yelling at eachother. So many animals were out and about and it was awesome.

At the monkey house we got to see so many chimps up close. And at one point they all yelled and the two babies went to their mom's to breast feed?? It was so special to see that.

We were surprised how many squirrels were in the outside lemer enclosures eating their food and the lemers looked so concerned.

When we did finally make it over to the otters we had to run back and forth to catch them but finally one of them swam up to the tank and twisted around and it was an amazing encounter. Just so wonderful. I felt really lucky. And I was excited that James got to see them. They love the otters.

I was losing a little steam. But I held it together. My stomach was not feeling good but I was still having fun.

I liked seeing the snakes and frogs and bats. We went to look at the goats and pigs and alpacas. And then we decided that we had seen just about everything and headed out.

The walk out was a little hard on me because it is uphill. And the rain had picked up. But James held an umbrella over me and called me a princess. I love them so much.

We got out of there after stopping at the gift shop. Didn't get anything. But we did stop at the big sign outside when another couple asked us to take a picture and they took ours. It was very sweet.

Another couple asked us if it was a good time in the parking lot and we told them to make sure they go see the otters. And then we were off again.

My feet hurt very bad. I kept my shoes off in the car. We had made a pretty solid list for target. And when we got there we did a pretty good job just sticking to that list. Some toiletries. Some food. Some hangers for James's hats. I was starting to not be able to hold it together anymore. My stomach isn't hurt to much. It was time to go home.

When we got back here we brought everything inside and I came upstairs to lay down. James would bring me some candy. But soon I was fast asleep.

I woke up not feeling much better. Eating dinner would help a little. But I was just absolutely feeling bad today. James would hold me and try their best to help. I would get very upset with them later when I was asking for something and they weren't understanding and then I felt really bad for getting so mad.

I would take a bath. And it helped a little bit I still don't feel good. I really hope tomorrow they can give me something or at least reassure me that I just have to power through.

I'm going to go brush my teeth and try and sip water. And hopefully fall asleep easy.

My appointment is first thing in the morning. I am not going to lie. I'm very scared that something is wrong. But I really hope that it's a positive appointment. Send me good thoughts. I love you all. Good night!

[talesofealdancynedom]

Qilin in his fairy robes, and new lab.

Tale 43: The Small Apothecary (chapter 3 - The Fair Lady 3/5 ) part 8. Stories of Dreams

When the school year ended, Qilin came home with his magic license; A full fledged wizard. There was no ceremony, as students who graduated with enough credits for a license, were given their’s directly from the Principal. Qilin cried when he held it. The stiff paper, handwritten and foiled; enchanted with a spell so it may never wither. Qilin’s only regret, was that he didn’t ask the potion’s master for her recipes.

After an exhausting trip home, Qilin walked up to the apartment building with a saigh. Neighbours yelling, a fire alarm, overgrown grass; There’s no place like home. Quilin couldn’t wait to show his license to his mother. If it weren’t for her, he’d never know his dreams. But before he hit the buzzer, another occupant threw an empty soda can at him.

“Your mom left. Looks like all four parents want to stay away from you!” The kid yelled. Qilin pressed the buzzer without acknowledging their existence. The land lord came up quickly.

“Lin, I’m sorry. They left,” He said, cracking the screen door. “But your mother told me to give this to you.” He handing over an envelope. Qilin took it, feeling suddenly weak.

“Thanks.” He responded despondently. The man stood there a minute. He nodded and lingered. Qilin blankly stared at land lord.

“You want me to open it now, because you’re curious what’s inside, aren’t you?” Qilin sighed. The land lord twitched, and gesticulated through the stages of grief.

Qilin went on a boat, then a train, another train, followed by another boat, and one last train to Doi Veng. His mother had left him all the tickets he needed; Even some money for food. She had planned it all. Qilin could barely contain his excitement. Along the way, every person next to him, seat or booth, got to hear his rambling praise of his mother and Doi Veng. Qilin was off to be an Apothecary surrounded by the childlike wonders of this world. His dream completed with his mother and a heroic mage.

Miles of tall chipping red walls, protected Doi Veng; They were intimidating to any who neared them. They stood seven-stories, resistant to time and natures wrath. The very top hosed slanted roves, of black liquored arched tile. The many ornate layers of the massive black entrance, had wavy spires on the eaves; fluid designs, similar to a candle’s flame. The door was as immeasurable as the walls. Before Qilin even knocked, the beast unlatched, and silently opened. Magic never ceased to take his breath.

“You’re the new kid, right?” A young woman groaned. She stood slouching, on the other side of the wall; Wearing plain pants, and a traditional chest wrap. She waved for him to follow, as the door closed behind them. She was paler than the sky, and had an unwelcoming aura, unlike many of the Eastland people. Her lustrous brown hair was done up so intricately, with ornate pins, that only a loved one could have done it for her. She had the step of a wandering goat, and posture of a wet box. Qilin asked for her name, and if she was well; But, she just pointed to the temple. It was of equal disarray and grandeur. The temple stood mostly intact, surrounded by the rice fields; Oranges and incense in tipped bowls, strewn about the eroded stone steps. Trees and vines grew out of, and threw, it’s arches. People wrapped in metal and saffron silks, sat perched like golden hens. Qilin clutched his poetry. He could hardly wait to go there, after hugging his mother.

The sights enthralled Qilin further, as the young lady led him up the butte’s ochre strata. Carpenter nymphs, jade lions, and three-legged crows, perched along the path. Stripes of verdant rice fields were visible below, as they ascended into shimmering blue skies. across the tropical marshy yonder farms, the steaming mist of the tropical air loomed. They crossed several red bridges over soothing falls, that shone bright against the grooves. However, the scrambles made Qilin to wish he hadn’t skipped gym in school.

Qilin got lost in the labyrinth walk, that formed the streets of the village. He kept smiling hello at everyone, and greeted the fey. There were springs for bathing, sights to see, and orchards of blushing legendary fruit trees. The trickle of water, and sound of birds. Scent of burning incense and wet rock. It was dinner, by the time he stopped at an open door; His mother patiently waiting for him.

“My boy! Come here!” She smiled, hugging Qilin. There embrace and breath lasted just long enough. However, when Qilin saw his siblings, they looked angered. Qilin tentatively crawled up and into the house. He showed off his license, and new brewing equipment; He had just seen the perfect place to set up shop; A shack by the orchards. No one but his mother seemed interested.

“Enough about me then; How about you?” Qilin asked his brothers.

“We got jobs instantly. There’s a nice sorceress on the flats I fancy. I bring her the sweets I bake when she goes to the bathing house.” His middle brother said. Qilin nodded.

“Mother, when will he be here?” The eldest brother asked.

“That’s not being very present; Did you not prepare for this sanctuary?” Qilin scoffed. “Wait. He?”

“Aurum is most kindly! He offered to bring us his special-order noodles.”

“That’s nice of him. Wait, the mage!? You mean I get to meet Aurum?!” Qilin gasped. “That’s so nice that he offers food to people, even though that’s not a Witch’s prerogative.”

“No, dear. He can’t cook. Every other evening he brings us food the lady he likes won’t accept. But yes, he is otherwise charitable with honest.”

“Ah. Well, I learned the hard way, that it’s not good to pursue someone that aggressively. He must not be one for accepting things... Who is this girl? This place is small; do we know her?” Qilin said. Still fresh from school, he was not above the gossiping.

“No. We’ve yet to see Kugu. Actually, I’m uncertain if he’s seen her either. Her father is pulling that poor boy’s leg too,” His mother sighed. “But speaking of boys, I haven’t seen a single queer fellow your age here. Given you came alone, I assume you didn’t find love.”

“I don’t feel like I have to.” Qilin affirmed, with youth within him. Aurum was at the door the whole time, with the tins of curry and broken rice; Just as predicted.

“I genuinely bought these for you this time! I sensed Qilin enter the gate.” Aurum said. His soft golden gaze looked right through Qilin. A that is as vacant as he is soothing.

Over the meal, Qilin asked Aurum to take him to the temple; Which he enthusiastically agreed. However, Aurum avoided each question about his fame and family. Qilin received a map from his mom, and he made a list of ingredients. It was time to settle into his new job. What is an apothecary, without a well stocked inventory. Since Aurum was incompetent at preparing anything, Qilin found his services in higher demand then he thought. He began to wonder why his mother told him things might be to good to be true.

After breakfast Aurum decided to visit Qilin again, to make sure the boy was not going to be a bigoted wizard. He brought jade and bronze tools, that were made by an ancient mage of Doi Veng; They did the opposite of what they should. The gong absorbing noise, a singing bowl causing anxiety, and a blade that repaired anything. Wonders that symbolized of the water’s way. Purified prizes of Doi Veng’s very being. Surely a kind wizard, would marvel at such things. However, Qilin’s awe was breif; He had a shop to set up. But the jade collection reminded him of the temple, and thus the odd lady who led him here. Qilin stopped Aurum before he could leave. If Aurum was a witch, that meant he must know everyone here, magic or mundane.

“Who was that girl in simple clothes? She had auburn hair, done up with garnet and silver pins. Any time I asked her something, she pointed to the temple.” Qilin inquired. Aurum inhaled, as his face lit up:

“You saw her! You saw Kugu!” Aurum exclaimed. “I was so worried. I spent the past two day’s looking for her, on behalf of her mother. Kugu had bribed the fey to stay quiet. Thank you, Lin.” Aurum beamed like the rays of dawn.

“For a place so set on the becoming one with serenity, everyone sure seems over the top...” Qilin murmured. Aurum shrunk. He thought he was making progress in calming his mind. First it was anger at his family, and now it was a girl. He went grey.

“Qilin, that’s a bit out of touch. Aurum, don’t take that so hard; It can take a lifetime to accept all things,” Qilin’s mother said, staring down her son. “By the way, Aurum, I was told you hadn’t seen or met Kugu...”

“Her father must have told everyone that. That’s an odd rumour to believe, given i visit everyone who comes here. Not to mention, one doesn’t just fall for someone they’ve never met.” Aurum laughed, hopping out the door.

<--- PREVIOUS

NEXT --->

[mrfandomgage]

Alex: Hey, can I call you Alice instead?

FemGoat: but I already have a nickname

Alex: it's just way easier to say Alice than FemGoat

FemGoat: I don't like it. My friends started calling me "FemGoat" because we were making-

Alex: Fun of cartoons and their naming conventions, yeah, I know.

FemGoat: well, they also avoided saying Ms or Mrs Goat in our jokes cause it didn't appeal to me, and FemGoat just kinda worked.

Alex: Mrs is for married women though

FemGoat: we were twelve, we didn't think about that

Alex: Well, got any plans?

FemGoat: I wanted to watch the boys play Modern Warfare Three. Right now, Goat's currently working, Siff took Lynn to lunch, and Gage.

Alex: and Gage what?

FemGoat: Haven't seen him really.

Alex: They do like their couch gaming. Wish they didn't yell at eachother about who gets the bigger screen though.

FemGoat: I've got a few snacks lined up and sodas, they're much calmer eating.

Alex: heheh

FemGoat: What?

Alex: hm? Oh, sorry. Hey, I've been wondering. When did you start being with Lynn?

FemGoat: Oh. Remember when He and Siff were kicked out of the Party for being nuisances to everyone?

Alex, annoyed: They poured me a glass just to spill it on me, of course I remember.

FemGoat: That was also the first night I ever got buzzed because of you. Anyway that night while a little drunk, I played spin the bottle

Alex: Was he at the other end of the bottle?

FemGoat: no, it was Catharine

Alex: the Vegan Cheetah girl?

FemGoat: Yeah. After kissing her, I left that game. I sobered up and tried processing how I felt about it, and in that time, out of the blue Lynn kissed me and ran off. I was really confused.

Alex: well that's rude. He didn't ask or anything.

FemGoat: Nope. Apparently Siff and Lynn were making dares all night. At that time Lynn dared Siff to cheat at poker, and Siff dared Lynn to kiss his crush without warning. Siff personally apologized to me that he'd also been drinking all night, and thought because Lynn was sober he wouldn't actually do anything while he was distracted with poker

Alex: The boys are pretty apprehensive about things like that, I could see why Siff thought that

FemGoat: Oh, but I figured out what the bet was after Siff apologized, Lynn, he apologized before him. He said it was a bet, and gave me a pretty decent omelet while begging for forgiveness. He was pretty stressed out and did all my chores for me.

Alex: I remember that along with a bad hangover. Lynn got me some water while he cooked your omelet

FemGoat: honestly I just wanted him to calm down, so I had him sit with me and watch a movie. He seemed so nervous just by sitting next to me I didn't know why. After the movie, he fiddled with his phone, and went to bed. Next day, Siff told me he was sorry and told me the bet and his apology. I think after hearing I was his crush, I understood why he was so tense the entire day.

Alex: That, and he told me in the kitchen he felt what he did was unforgivable

FemGoat: Too bad, I forgave him. I guess we just started hanging out more and just like eachother after that.

Alex: That's really cute. A Goat and her Bunny.

FemGoat: How about you and Gage?

Alex: what

FemGoat: When'd you two start liking eachother?

Alex: ... it took a while...

FemGoat: soooooo cryptic

Alex: C'mon, can you blame me? Our first interactions were to kill each other, and sure we had a few one offs, but we didn't actually get to know each other. At that time I think we both just saw each other as toys for the other's amusement, but I really can't tell!

FemGoat: That's concerning...

Alex: I'm a god with a Mortal Body. We both didn't really have any moral views towards each other and each other's humanity, we just saw something that can withstand one another, and did whatever we wanted. I'm not really proud of that.

FemGoat: ... was it fun

Alex: oh hell yeah. I guess we did have a few times to calm down while we were still playing. I think he was more into me than I was into him at the time though...

Alex: I guess I liked him more than I thought I did...

FemGoat: Don't beat yourself up about being an inhuman monster too much. We all go a little crazy

Alex, sarcastic: That really helps, thanks for all the support Babe, it really brightened my mood.

FemGoat: I'm messing with you. You both have a hard time with expressing yourselves properly

Alex: You're right, but that was still rude FemGoat

FemGoat: you're right. You wanna hug? I know you guys like those

Alex, hugging: yes, thank you

FemGoat, hugging back: you're a weirdo

[goat-yells-at-everything]

All this Coke vs Pepsi discourse never made sense to me. Like, each brand is very different and offers different products! So here is my definitive totally objective subjective list of good and bad Pepsi and Coke products. Im not including the long list of extra flavors because I havnt had most of them and many dont have parallels between the two.

OG Pepsi = OG Coke: both are good in different ways

Diet Pep > Diet Coke: Diet Coke has a gross after taste

Coke Zero = Pepsi Zero: while neither one tastes like the original but both are good. HOWEVER Coke changed the recipe of Coke Zero so now Pepsi Zero does taste better but CZ is still pretty ok.

Cherry Coke >>>> Pepsi Wild Cherry: Period. End of. WC Pepsi is DIRT compared to Cherry Coke.

Mt Dew = Mello Yello: not a huge difference between the two

Sprite = Sierra Mist: Ill preface this by saying OG SM is GARBAGE but they changed the recipe and its actually pretty good now. Sprite is still the better soda for when you're sick, tho.

Honorable Mentiones:

Code Red Mt Dew: amazing. Love it. Delicious

Dr Pepper/Mr Pib: dirt. Both are dirt. With ONE exception: DP with Cream Soda is pretty damn good.

Diet everything except OG diets: garbage

Me Dew Lemon Lime: caffinated Sprite. I honestly don't know how to feel about it. I like Sprite but you can FEEL the caffine surge from the LLDew and it just feels weird?

Cherry Coke Zero: fucking PERFECT.

So there. Pepsi isn't better than Coke and Coke isn't better than Pepsi.

[avonne-writes]

Scorpion Grass - Part 2

Pairing: Loki/Mobius, Steve/Thor (background)

Rating, word count (chapter): T, 4.8k

Chapter summary: Loki flirts, Thor gets weirdly close to a friend, and there’s a cute goat.

Link to the AO3 post

After his whirlwind of a day, Loki should fall asleep right away when Thor's apartment plunges into darkness that night, but he finds that he can't. His mind refuses to quiet. He tosses and turns on the stiff couch cushions, huffing in frustration. An electric sensation vibrates in his limbs and turns them into jelly. If he doesn't move, it feels like they'll evaporate - if he does, his heart jumps and his fingers twitch, his blood turning into soda water.

Suffering. Pure suffering.

Loki rubs his hands over his face and groans. His thoughts circle around, and it's not dread, but anticipation that makes his heart ache. He tries to remember what Mom wanted to do this week. Tomorrow's the fourth, they're not going on a hike, are they? It should be another beach day, he thinks, and weaves threads of reality into a senseless daydream of Mobius. He imagines bumping into him on the wharf while he's drinking a cocktail, leaning on the white railing and watching the seagulls. He'd offer Loki a sip, and Loki could use the straw as his chosen weapon of seduction just to elicit a smile. And then they would spend the whole day together. Just the two of them, going to a parade and watching the fireworks at night, and the restless burning in Loki's stomach would dissipate.

Or maybe, Mobius will be there at the beach again and will greet Loki with a wide smile. Or he won't remember him at all.

Loki turns to lie on his stomach and buries his face in his pillow.

Yeah, he's sure that Mobius won't remember him. He was just one of a hundred nameless idiots they had to drag out of the water. Nothing but a job. Once finished, forever forgotten. What is he even hoping for? In two weeks' time, he'll be back in Portland and will never think of that strange lifeguard in Santa Cruz again. That's how life works. Connections are fragile, only proximity matters.

He shifts around once more and grabs his phone, desperate for a distraction. Since music would just prompt him to start fantasizing again, he checks his social media instead. He has two unread messages from Casey, asking him to identify some random frog he found in the park, and Thor seems to be texting him right now.

"You're literally in the next room!" Loki yells and shoots off a quick reply to Casey. It will hopefully convey how done he is with these questions. An A in Biology from two years ago does not make him a zoologist.

His phone pings and a photo of Thor surfing pops up in his inbox, along with the message: do you think this would make a good Fb profile pic?

Loki sighs. Who cares? Hasn't Thor changed his pic just a few months ago? Does he think it's not cool now? He opens Thor's page and sure enough, he uploaded a new one when he broke up with Jane in January. He doesn't look any different, but whatever. Yes, he answers Thor's question curtly and he's about to go back to his feed when he notices something.

Thor has a new friend - some Steve Rogers guy.

"That was fast." He mumbles, clicking on Steve's name before he could think about it. As expected, it's the guy from the beach, although his profile picture looks like it was taken before puberty put a hundred pounds of muscle on him. In one of his other photos, Steve's giving a piggyback ride to the pretty redhead lifeguard - Natasha. Must be his girlfriend, Loki guesses. A dream pair, huh? Why is he even surprised at this point...

He exits the album before it gives him nausea and goes to Steve's modest friend list instead. His finger hovers over the keyboard. Stop right there, his inner voice snaps at him. He knows what's coming. Every time he does this, he swears he won't do it ever again, but the temptation is too hard to resist. There's next to no chance that he'll come out of this stalking with information he'll like. It always turns out that his crush is dull, annoying or taken. If he holds himself back now, he might be able to delay his disappointment by a day or two. All it would take is closing the app.

It's a fight he loses within two minutes.

Mobius is a unique enough name that even without a pic, Loki knows he has found the profile he's been looking for. It's a skeleton account, containing nothing but the bare minimum and a couple group photos where he was tagged. Loki goes through all of these one by one, zooming in and chuckling when he finds a funny one.

"Should've dyed it blond." He smiles, staring at the last one, where Mobius still has his fluffy blond hair, bangs with grey streaks and all. Would it be too early to send him a friend request? Who's he kidding, of course it would be. It would be pathetic. True to form. Loki puts his phone on his chest and stares up at the ceiling. His sigh could upend a mountain.

  The morning shines on him with newfound excitement. So what if nothing comes of this little crush? He doesn't need that to feel happy and fulfilled, does he? No matter what, he'll make the most of this goddamn vacation on his own. The least he can do if he's forced to endure it anyway.

With that in mind, he washes his hair and paints his nails nude - the only color he has in his bag. He tries to cover his ugly bruise with the foundation he had the forethought to bring, but it looks even worse, so he washes it off and gives up on his skin altogether. He dons his Drink up haters tank top and smiles at his reflection. All he needs now is a purple tie in his hair to match the graphic on his clothes.

It's only when he reaches for his comb to do something with his drying locks that he notices that something is amiss.

"Thor!" He calls out, throwing the door open and glaring at his brother through the escaping steam. Across from him, he can see Thor sitting at the small kitchen table, shovelling scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"Wha'?" Through all the food in the way, it comes out like a grunt.

"Did you use my hairbrush?"

There's a suspicious beat of silence. "...No."

Loki holds up the incriminating evidence, a handful of blonde hair, and hisses. "It's mine. Buy your own."

"I don't need one."

"Yeah, clearly." Loki mutters with a dark sneer and returns to the bathroom.

Damn it! Thor's not one to spend a lot of time styling his hair, a bun or a braid and he's good to go, so what's with the extra effort? Is he that desperate to find new friends? Loki can't fathom it. His brother is popular wherever he goes. He's a moron if he thinks he needs to look neater for that. And is he ever going to stop using Loki's things without permission?

  The first hours on Capitola Beach go by like the small puffy clouds drift across the sky above. Nothing happens. The salty air barely moves. Loki's eyes scan the shoreline every other minute, but there are no signs of Mobius and he can't think of an excuse that would justify going up to any of the lifeguard towers. He slouches in his striped blue beach chair and purses his lips. The sand blankets his feet when he digs his toes under a heap of it. His book lies forgotten in his lap, the crocodile sticker marking the page, and a strand of his hair tickles his cheek when the lazy wind pulls it out of his ponytail. He's so lost in his moody, pointless thoughts that he startles when his mom touches his shoulder.

"Darling, why don't you relax, just a little bit?" Her soothing voice curls around him and he can't help but comply as her cool fingers stroke his cheek. "Have some fun with your brother."

"Mom, that's an oxymoron." Loki deadpans and eyes Thor's dripping wet body suspiciously as Thor and their father come back from the water. He knows what happens nine times out of ten when he's dry and Thor's soaked, and he's ready to bolt if that's what it takes to avoid that.

It seems like Thor has something different in mind though, because when Father settles in the second chair under their beach umbrella, he stops in front of Loki and nudges his buried feet.

"Let's play volleyball."

Loki makes a disgruntled noise.

"Come on, it's gonna be fun!"

When Loki makes a show of opening his book again, Thor grabs his right forearm and pulls at him, whining. "Loki."

Loki doesn't look up, but he has to stifle a smile. "You'd have more luck convincing a stranger, brother."

He hears the cooler open, then Father turns to him, a coke in his hand. "Loki, I wanted to discuss your studies. I don't think business administration is the right track for you."

Uh-oh. Nope, Loki's out of here.

"Ah, Thor and I were just about to go play volleyball." He stands, cursing when the first thing Thor does is embracing him with his cold, damp arms. "Maybe later, Father."

Odin nods, smiling to himself, and waves them away. Loki has a feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing by bringing up Loki's university studies. King of manipulation.

  The beach is packed, but in the midday sunshine, the crowd has left most of the volleyball courts free in favor of finding respite in the sea. The nets are right beside one of the lifeguard towers, and when Loki realizes this fact, his steps falter and his body flushes hot and cold. Jesus Christ, what did he sign up for? What if Mobius comes by just as Loki's swimming in his sweat, getting obliterated in volleyball by his brother?

"You get the first serve!" Thor turns to him cheerfully, oblivious, and throws the ball at him.

Loki almost drops it, and he gives his surroundings a nervous glance. Will he ever get a chance to look his best in front of Mobius or is he destined to eternal mortification? Given his general luck in life, he'd bet on the latter.

Thor has already claimed the side furthest from the tower, which doesn't leave Loki any other option but turning his back to the lifeguard station and staring at the colorful Venetian houses instead. Their beauty just irritates him now, because if it wasn't for that, his mom might have decided to spend the day at a different beach and then he wouldn't be in this situation now. He takes a deep breath and lowers his sunglasses from the top of his head. Perhaps it's enough to conceal his identity.

"You're not allowed to smash." He warns Thor.

"Why not?" Thor spreads his arms, the epitome of confidence in his wet boardshorts.

Loki envies him for it. His top is loose, but every scrap of unnecessary clothing feels obstructing and he wants it off. But he's not always comfortable leaving his chest uncovered like that and today is one of those days. He puts the ball in the sand and goes about tying at least the bottom half of it up, to create a makeshift crop top.

"Because it gives you an unfair advantage." He tells Thor and gets an eyeroll in response. Shirt adjusted, he smirks and throws the ball above his head, and the game is on.

The one good thing about playing any sport with Thor is that he always knows how to taunt Loki just right to make him completely invested in winning. It's only a matter of minutes and Loki's mind shuts out all thoughts of lifeguards and appearances, every atom of his body is focused on gaining a point in the next play. He's not half bad at ball games, he just prefers not to exert himself, but for the right cause… Wiping the smug grin off Thor's face is a good enough goal.

He has just delivered a hard-earned equaliser when Thor stops mid-serve and breaks into an ear-splitting smile. The ball falls into the sand at his feet, forgotten.

"Steve!"

Oh, God. Loki blanches, insides twisting into knots, and he turns in place like a robot. There he is, Steve Rogers, in skimpy speedos again, the blocky white 'lifeguard' stamped on his ass. Water trickles down his washboard abs and wets the sand around him as he waves and makes his way to Thor to give him a friendly handshake.

"Still alive, I see." A husky voice pipes up next to Loki and he finds Rogers' girlfriend standing beside him.

He puts his hands on his hips, a bucketful of sweat glistening in tiny pebbles on his arms. "I'm thriving, thank you very much."

She snorts, and they watch as Thor reenacts how he won the previous game in a rather dramatic fashion. It makes Loki bristle. He scoffs.

"Wanna take them down together?" Natasha offers. "It's my lunch break and Steve's got half an hour until his shift."

"You'd turn against your boyfriend?" Loki raises an eyebrow. "I like that."

"Oh, we're not dating." She looks back at Thor and Steve. A smirk lingers around her lips. "I'm not his type."

Before Loki could read anything more into that, she claps her hands and walks up to the net, beckoning Thor and Steve and confiscating the ball. She barely reaches Loki's shoulder, but Loki doesn't have any doubt that she could take him out without breaking a sweat. It's written in her eyes. She's scary.

"Ready to have your asses handed to you?" Loki teases when they've all agreed to play.

Thor chuckles and glances at Steve. "A warm-up round first?"

"I'm plenty warmed-up." Steve smiles. "I've just run the Firecracker 10k."

"Your choice, Stevie." Natasha raises the ball. "We're gonna crush you two."

"All talk, no show!" Steve shoots back, and the first serve flies straight for his chest.

The game is more about Thor and Steve horsing around than anything else. They invent trick shots and keep high-fiving and cheering at each other when a play goes their way. At one point, Thor has a laughing fit and leans his forehead against Steve's shoulder for a few seconds. If Loki wasn't 100% sure that Thor was straight, he would think he was attracted to Steve because that's not how you touch a buddy you've known for a day. But then he reminds himself that this is Thor and brushes it away with a shake of his head. He's probably just happy he found someone who suffers him without resorting to sarcasm.

"I hate to break up the party, guys, but we've got a job to do here."

Loki freezes in place at those words, that voice. He wants to check if he looks okay, but there's no time and no mirror. He pushes his sunglasses into his hair, maybe they'll cover his disheveled locks. Literally everyone in this group has more confidence than he does but he grits his teeth and barrels through his insecurities on sheer willpower alone. As always. He's got words - there's a reason why some of his high school enemies called him silver tongue. He can do this. Flirting is a piece of cake.

But when he turns and his eyes fall on Mobius, what comes out of his mouth is a very articulate "Hi."

Nevertheless, Mobius smiles. Not quite the way Loki dreamed of, but he does. And he remembers. "Hi, Loki."

Loki presses the thumb of his right hand into the center of his left palm to ground himself, a nervous tick. He needs to exhume his goddamn composure right the fuck now. Scrambling to find some topic of conversation, he zeros in on the bottle of water in Mobius' grip. He gestures at it.

"I'm parched, can I have a sip?" He hears Steve, Thor and Natasha banter behind him, but his mind doesn't register a word. What he knows is that Mobius doesn't look away from him either, despite how much of a mess Loki must be right now. "You don't want me to have a heat stroke, do you?"

Mobius ambles closer, looking up into Loki's eyes. "That would be a shame."

"Right?" A grin flashes through Loki's expression. The height difference doesn't bother him, just makes him want to fold into Mobius and be held. He sticks his hands in the pockets of his black shorts to keep from reaching out and touching what he's not supposed to.

They watch each other for a moment, then Mobius raises his drink between their chests. "Okay. Here."

"Thank you."

Loki's getting the flow of this now. He doesn't step away, but presses the bottle to his lips and exposes his neck as he gulps, and he sees Mobius' blink, the interest in his eyes. It's power. Not the brute kind Thor demonstrates all too often, but something more delicate and intangible. Loki's very own brand of magic. A droplet of water escapes and trickles down his chin, and he closes his eyes for a moment of pleasure.

"I need to go back to work." Mobius says quietly.

Loki nods and gives the bottle back to him, wiping his mouth. He has to hold his breath for a second when their fingers touch because he's afraid he'll shake. Mobius pats his elbow and backs away, turning to Natasha and Steve, who are walking towards the tower's steps now.

"Steve." Thor calls out suddenly, a hint of desperation in his voice that gives Loki the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. With a new friend, he's like a puppy who never wants to go home from the park, isn't he? "I think we're going to the Scotts Valley parade this afternoon. We can, uh, meet up there later if you want."

Unfortunately, Steve seems to respond well to whatever Thor's doing, because he breaks into a smile. "Sure. I'll text you when we get there."

Loki perks up at the pronoun. "Are you all coming?"

"Yeah, it's a good team building opportunity." Mobius explains. "We'll watch the fireworks together."

Well, there goes Loki's fantasy of holding hands and kissing while sparkles rain down from the sky, but he can't find it in himself to be disappointed. Mobius will be there!

  Scotts Valley has a fairly standard array of Independence Day programs. A small parade, a vintage car show, live music, food trucks, craft beer, local vendors selling handmade trinkets, and a petting zoo. They've even organized a flyover, which doesn't interest Loki at all, but at least it's something that holds his attention while he's waiting for the lifeguards to show up. It's a pleasant day. The indolent sunshine casts orange hues on the park as afternoon softens into evening. There are kids squealing and dancing along to the jazzy music coming from the stage, and someone brought a giant bubble wand to blow fat, iridescent blobs into the air.

Loki wanders through the market with his mom while Thor and their father queue in front of an artisan beer stand. Among the mass of people clad in vibrant floral shirts and sundresses, he feels like his dark clothes stand out, but the heat and the exhaustion creeping into his limbs make him placid enough not to be bothered.

"What do you think?" He turns to his mom at a jewelry stand, holding up a dark jade bracelet.

It's pretty, and the beads would give him something to fiddle with, he thinks. When his mom assures him it looks good, he buys it without a second thought. He doesn't realize how small its clasp is until he's trying to put it on and it keeps slipping out of his grip. He purses his lips in concentration, standing off to the side while his mom drifts to the lavender-themed stand opposite the crystals.

"Can I help with that?"

Hearing Mobius' voice makes Loki's heart race, but he covers his surprise by holding his wrist out like some spoiled prince to an admirer. Mobius doesn't bat an eye. He steadies Loki's hand and fastens the bracelet, then spins it around Loki's thin wrist until the clasp is in the right place, lying on the pale skin where the veins branch blue.

"Nice top." Mobius comments on Loki's shirt when Loki's hand leaves his. "It suits you."

Loki's so pleased by this reaction that he could sing, but he just tips his chin up and smirks. "'Course it does."

Mobius chuckles and casts his eyes down. He's in a simple blue shirt and beige cargo shorts that do nothing for him, but Loki feels oddly charmed by the overall look. "Wanna grab something to eat?"

"Oh, I'm starving." Loki replies with enthusiasm, and after a quick word with his mom, they take off together towards a barbecue truck.

He can see his brother approaching from the other way, with Natasha, Steve and two other guys who look just as ripped as them. It's strange to see Steve in actual clothes. It seems that the clothes themselves struggle with the idea too, pulling tight across his chest and hugging his waist like a second skin. It's ridiculous.

Their little posse turns heads left and right as they stroll down the path between the stands. When they reach Loki and Mobius, Thor finishes the rest of his beer in one gulp, then slings arm around Steve's shoulder. God, is he tipsy already?

"Brother, this is Sam." He pats the back of the guy standing on his other side. "And that's Bucky."

"Nice to meet you, man." Sam gives Loki a smile and shakes his hand, realizing only a second later that Loki's got a very specific message on his clothes.

An awkward silence follows. Bucky takes his phone out, Natasha pops a bubble with her chewing gum, and Steve looks up at Thor but only gets a raised eyebrow in return. Loki considers telling them that he prefers male pronouns, but he enjoys the tension way too much for that.

Unsurprisingly, it's Mobius who steps in. "Did you guys know that it's Steve's birthday?"

Steve groans, dropping his head back against the arm Thor still has around his shoulders. "Mobius…"

"Really?" Thor lights up like a Christmas tree. "Oh, happy birthday!"

Steve rubs his forehead. His face is on fire. "Thanks."

Thor shakes him. "To celebrate, I'll challenge you to a sumo fight."

At first, Loki thinks his brother is more wasted than he initially assumed, but then, Thor points at something in the distance and when he turns to look, he finds one of those giant sumo suit combat rings set up in the grass.

"How is that a celebration?" Steve laughs.

Thor shrugs. "If you win, I'll buy you a drink."

 Loki declines to participate in any kind of fight that involves inflatable costumes, but he watches from the sidelines, eating his food, as Thor and his new friends make a fool of themselves. When Mobius goes head-to-head against Sam and ends up flopping on the ground like an oversized starfish, he laughs until his cheeks hurt. It hits him then that he's actually enjoying himself. Who would have thought that a near-drowning would change his vacation for the better? It's nothing short of astonishing.

When he's finally alone with Mobius again, the sun has already set and people are settling down in the grass in anticipation of the fireworks. He and Mobius sit side-by-side and watch the crowd. They've spent the whole evening flirting and talking about all sorts of inconsequential things from hot dogs to vintage cars. Everything was going smoothly. And as soon as it's just the two of them, Loki gets tongue-tied. Figures.

He plucks a few blades of grass and knots them together, hating himself.

"Portland, huh?" Mobius says. When Loki just hums in response and doesn't look up, he grabs a blade of grass himself and tickles Loki's knee with it. "I grew up in Astoria."

"Really?" Loki's eyes widen. That's so close, so damn close to PDX… How did he end up here?

Mobius tickles him again to make him smile. "Small world."

"Why did you move?"

"I needed a change of scenery."

Loki knows a diversion when he sees one. It's apparent that there was more to it than that, but Mobius doesn't trust him enough to share it yet. Although it's understandable, Loki's doubts rise from the shadows like hissing serpents. He turns his eyes from Mobius to the nearby petting zoo, where he can just spot the baby goats jumping around. Loki loves goats - he thinks they're cute and underappreciated despite how useful they can be. They're also funny as hell. Especially when they get scared by rustling leaves or something silly like that and pretend to be dead.

"You can go closer, you know." Mobius nudges him, reading his thoughts.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's for children."

"I don't see any age limit." When Loki gives him a look, he tilts his head in invitation. "We can do it together if you want."

"No, thanks."

"Alright." Mobius nods and stands up, brushing the grass off his pants. He walks away.

"Where are you going?" Loki calls after him, and Mobius turns, walking backwards.

"I'm gonna pet the goats!"

Loki watches him go and lean over the fence to stroke a brown baby goat's head. When he glances back at Loki with his eyebrows raised, Loki can't help but break into a laugh.

"I know you're jealous!" Mobius says, and it's loud enough that Loki hears it over the sound of the music played non-stop in the park.

"Can't believe I'm doing this." He mutters and follows Mobius to the animals.

"Hey there." He smiles at the baby goat in unadulterated joy. Its fur is soft under his palm and its little head leans into the touch. It bleats once and flaps its little ears. "Oh, you're adorable."

Loki sees Mobius' hand move on the goat's fur, but it still sends a jolt through his heart when their fingers brush. He doesn't look up. He feels the warmth of Mobius' body as they gravitate ever closer, hears his soft sigh and the shift of his feet on the ground. Their knuckles bump together again. It's longer this time, and they both still, not stroking anymore, but waiting, waiting. Loki takes a deep breath through his nose. Mobius' sunscreen scent breaks through the smell of hay, and he wants to press his face to Mobius' neck, where it must have seeped into the skin, until there's nothing but lethargic summer haze in his mind. He turns his hand over, and Mobius' slips into his palm.

His fingertips trace the lines of Loki's fingers then slide between them. The baby goat runs away.

"There goes our excuse." Mobius whispers, and Loki hangs his head, skin ablaze beyond his painful sunburn.

"Don't acknowledge it." He says, flustered.

"Why not?" Mobius draws their joined hands up to the top of the fence and strokes Loki's thumb with his own. Loki wants to give him a reason - because that's not how it's done, because it makes me feel like I swallowed an effervescent tablet, because I want more - but his phone rings in his pocket and he breaks away from Mobius to pick it up.

"Where are you?" Thor starts without preamble.

"At the petting zoo, why?"

"Come back. Fireworks are starting in five minutes and Mom wants to take a picture of us."

Loki groans. Not another photo with Thor. "Okay. I'll be there in two."

He's still flushed when he hangs up, but it feels a bit more bearable now that he and Mobius are just looking at each other. He offers an apologetic smile.

Mobius returns it and takes a step away. "Well, let's go then."

 They all sit in the grass in one big group as the fireworks go off. Loki poses with Thor for the obligatory photo he'll never ever want to see on any of his social media accounts, and then settles cross-legged beside his mom. She rubs his back in soothing circles while the sky erupts in reds and purples and blues, and so much gold that Loki sees it flash behind his eyelids when he closes his eyes. He plays with one of the beads in his bracelet and takes the sight in with his heart as light as the breeze that ruffles his hair. When he catches Mobius watching him, he winks. It earns him a laugh.

This is going to end in a disaster, but he can't bring himself to care.

[arch-venus25]

The Head and the Heart, Part 4

Hello everyone,

I submitted this for @just-the-hiddles‘s The Damnit Jim, I’m A Vampire, Not A Landlord Fic Frenzy.

This chapter is less action heavy, but just as important. Thanks for hanging in there and reading!

Series Masterlist: The Head and The Heart

Summary: The twins are taking a night off from their graduate studies-- or at least Tessa is; her twin sister, Antha, is just trying to keep her out of trouble. What starts as a night of good old-fashioned fun and flirting quickly changes as they find themselves at the doorstep of the Hollow House Bed and Breakfast.

Characters: OFCs Antha and Tessa King, original characters/vampires

WARNINGS: 18+ for suggestive themes and violence, cursing, implied drug use, implied rape, stressful/scary situations, vampires, and characters with incredible hair-- you’ve been warned. Read at your own discretion.

Word Count: 3812

Part Four: The Aftermath

           The weathered professor seemed very confused but stood her ground and insisted, “Miss King, take the summer off.”

           “I just need a week, that’s all—and then I’ll get the methodology section to you—Dr. Watts I just need another week, please!” Antha pushed back. Dr. Watts set her glasses on her desk and then waved her over to a deep-tufted-leather sofa.

           “Antha,” her voice lowered, “I’ve known you for what—five years? You don’t become a valedictorian because you don’t like to write. You have been moody these past few weeks, you barely passed the final exam, and you’ve pushed back the thesis methodology three times. Last class, you were so distracted I would have rather you skipped. I know you, talk to me, what’s going on?”

           “My sister and I had a Friday night out with some friends and something happened.” Antha murmured, staring down at her feet.

           “Friday nights aren’t what they used be; did you hear about the fight that broke out at that dive bar off of—oh, what’s it called? You know the place—well, it was all over the news,” she paused gravely, “you weren’t there were you?”

           The twin nodded slowly. She felt overwhelmed in front of her advisor. She pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut before replying. “Tessa’s date got into a fight with an old flame, it was a whole thing. But after…” She couldn’t continue. The advisor took her hand gently.

           “Did someone hurt you?”

           Antha’s eyes welled and all she could do was stare. As if she said the words out loud, it would become more true than it already was. The doctor’s forehead wrinkled as her brows gathered together. Having lived through the revolutions of the sixties and the proceeding struggle for equality, Dr. Watts knew the dangers women faced. She didn’t need an answer; she just wanted to offer shelter to a young woman. She knew just from looking at her student that whatever happened, it was beyond words.

           “You’re taking the summer and fall semester off—or at the very least take the summer off and go to a student counselor; its free, it comes with your tuition, so please use it. If you need anything you know you and your sister can come to me.” She wrote down her personal number and one for the counselors’ office. Antha held the little shred of stationary. She promised she would do just that.

        Shortly after, she left her advisor’s office and floated through the campus green and then waited by the bus stop. Her feet told her she was going home, yet her attention was somewhere far away. What can I say to a counselor? Who would understand what we saw at Hollow House? Without realizing, she had retrieved something from her pocket; she stared dumfounded at the pewter-colored iris that gleamed back.

        Antha couldn’t get rid of it. But in a moment of frustration, she chucked the marble-like eye into a nearby drain. She returned to her spot and tried to focus on scheduling a counselor. Moving forward, that’s what I need, she figured.

        A familiar wheezing crawled up the street. The sluggishness of a muffler that had seen better days filled her ears as she dazed at the phone number-laden scrap paper.  “—Antha!” Someone yelled. To her surprise she peered up to see Doug hanging out of his rusty Buick, looking just as timid as ever. He seemed anxious, for what reason she didn’t know. “I’ve been calling your name. You’ve gone deaf ol’ girl—you want a ride?” He asked with forced humor in his voice. She watched him blankly as his expression fell. “You alright?”

        Antha thought about it and suddenly felt stupid. All of her gusto about moving forward had evaporated; she lamely shook her head like a weary child. She felt like a little girl in a world that was too big for her. It all just seemed too much.

        The July swelter didn’t let up even with the windows down. The two didn’t speak as they made their way to their favorite pizza joint. Thrilled to be out of the unairconditioned Buick’s steel embrace, they collapsed into the far back booth of the pizzeria. All the servers knew it was Doug and Antha’s spot; they habitually kept it clean and empty, knowing they would eventually roll in. They made it to the “golden hour”. The sacred three hours between the lunch and dinner rush. It was their favorite time.

        “Whatchas want?” The straggly blue-haired waitress chewed her bubblegum like a goat.

        “The usual—uh hold on—when did you eat last?” Doug asked. Antha shrugged and realized she didn’t know. She couldn’t even think that far back. “Can we get a double order of the usual? But make two of them to-go?” The waitress didn’t even answer as she went to get drinks. “You want to talk about it?”

           “Nope. I said everything already.” Antha wasn’t mad at him, she was just tired. She was more annoyed that he would ask about the matter and then dispute the realism of what she explained. Doug grumbled when the waitress slopped the pitcher and straws down, vanilla coke-a-cola splashing everywhere.

           “—Hey, don’t we get like a punch-card or something? You know, for every hundred pizzas we buy, we get the next one free?” He politely suggested, his way of being confrontational. He was growing exasperated with the women in his life; he didn’t mind taking it from his close friends, Zoey and the twins, but he was having none of this waitress. She paused, chewed her gum, and left again.

           “Whoa, cool off killer,” Antha snarked, her spirits lifting with each sip of her fountain soda. She looked him over and thought on their friendship for a moment as he griped about that one particular server.

        Doug was a shy, lanky, ginger-bearded young man. He was passionate about things and supportive of the people he loved, but didn’t reserve much attention for the people outside of that parameter. He lived in vintage band t-shirts, had friendly light eyes, and a funny smile. No one could resist his unkempt wolfish hair or his corny sense of humor; he had a way of growing on a person. But he always showed up, his guitar in tow. That’s why Antha didn’t fight him when he asked about that night; she knew he actually cared and was trying his best to understand. He couldn’t help her though. No one could help.

        “How about we hang out this weekend, do a barbeque? Nobody grills a burger like you—and Tessa can make her sangria, huh, what do you think?” He tried to turn the conversation to open her up.

        “Uhh… I don’t know. I can’t plan that far ahead, I’m real busy.” She declined. The sausage pizzas arrived faster than expected and Doug dropped slices on their plates.

        “Busy yeah? Mmm-hmmm,” he bit into his slice, cheese tangling in his five o’clock shadow, “busy not writing your thesis, not eating, and not sleeping? Ant, the last time I saw you eat was a few days ago when I brought pizza over. You gonna talk to me?”

        Antha sighed loudly and glared at him. She was worn-through with the people in her life too. I’m too tired for this shit, she thought. She pushed her plate forward and abandoned her half-eaten slice. He saw her mild protest and his cheeks tinged pink. They silently stared each other down, him chewing as loud as he could manage while she obnoxiously slurped her soda in reply.

        Before they could hash out their issues a patron burst through the front entrance. “Hey—hic—you seen Ant? Where she at? The back?” Tessa was hiccupping and talking all sorts of loud, like she was in a club on a Saturday night. “Oh hey girls!” She pointed at the staff and sashayed herself to the booth; her bedazzled sandals slapping the linoleum like a jackhammer in the quiet place. The front door jingled again and in rushed Zoey.

        “I’m sorry,” she apologized to the front of the house and then chased after Tessa. “I picked her up because she was texting me weird messages—I thought I could calm her down with something to eat.” She explained to the table as she took a seat next to Doug.

        “I already ate today.” Tessa insisted, sliding in next to her sister and almost toppling over a pizza.

        “Oh yeah, what did you have for lunch?” Doug asked, his patience wearing thin.

        “GIN and uh—” she had to think about it but excitedly rebounded, “and uh water ice. Breakfast of champions!” Tessa thought she was quite funny, regardless how everyone else disagreed.

        “How about we have a little slice of pi—” Doug pandered but she wasn’t going to hear any of it.

        “Now who would put sausage on a pizza? Oh, no. I have enough meat in my life—you know what I’m sayin’ Zo—you feel me?” She howled.

        “That’s cute.” Doug’s patience officially went on vacation as of that second. He tore the sausage off some of the pie and then thrust the mangled slice in front of the drunk twin. “There ya’ go, just cheese—And you eat your damn slice too! This has gone on long enough—we’re going to have a barbeque and chill like we always do! It’s Fourth of July this weekend, did you know that?” He directed at the other twin.

        “This white boy’s hollering at you, oh lord…” Tessa cackled; her cheese dripped down the side of the table as she reached for some ice chips from an empty cup. Zoey was mortified and motioned to Antha for help, her friend was out of control.

        “Yeah—well this boy’s about tired of this foolishness! I don’t know all of what’s happened that night, but neither one of you will talk to me about it! Ant you’ve been practically dead, a walking zombie for three weeks—and Tessa, it’s three o’clock in the afternoon, what the hell has gotten into you?”

        “Gin.” She giggled.

        “Hey Katy? Can we get all this to go, with some two liters?” He yelled across the full length of the restaurant.

        Zoey handled the food transport as Doug buckled the twins into his car. He mumbled to himself, “…goddamn vampires my ass…” as he cleared his fogging glasses. Tessa began to mildly complain about the heat when the car stopped at a red light. They all noticed a young man struggling to get into a car at the gas station across the way.

        “Is that José?” She whispered. They witnessed his mother trying to steady him, juggling his crutches and searching for a spot on him that wasn’t bandaged. Adorned in a neck brace, shoulder sling, full posterior elbow splint, and full left leg cast. Poor José appeared like he faced-off with a combine. Doug glared at the girls in his rear-view mirror. The light turned green and not another word was said.

        He parked the Buick under the tree closest to the house and got the girls inside. Zoey did the same and brought the provisions to the shaded porch. It was too hot to do anything other than sit around by the fan or stay in the AC. Tessa went to her room when they got in; she felt awful about what she had seen at the gas station.

        They worked together to set up the tall pedestal fan on the porch, because the porch fan just couldn’t combat Mother Nature alone. They were in the midst of dawdling about when Antha accidentally fell asleep on the porch swing while Doug played the guitar. Zoey elicited his help inside to leave Antha to nap. The two were shocked with the state of things.

        Momma’s house was a frightful mess. They never saw it in its condition before: Dishes with dust, articles of clothing haphazardly dropped, laundry either half started or half done, it was difficult to tell. “Momma would roll over, I swear…” Zoey whispered. They agreed to tidy up while the twins rested, lest Momma rise up and haunt them. That woman was meticulous and was not above coming back from the grave to tell everyone what’s-what.

        As if life had been frozen in time from the month prior. The twin’s incident hit like a meteor and their friends now saw the wreckage. While they hadn’t admitted it out loud, they had stopped living too; obsessed with what happened that night at Hollow House. Grasping for a truth that they couldn’t reach.

        The overloaded dishwasher whined as it cycled and it reminded Doug of seeing José, busted up and struggling. That’s what really happens after a bar-brawl. There’s always a winner and always a loser. He half-heartedly swept the floor and thought to himself: these are the parts they edit from movies. The aftermath. The guns, the glory, the blood all made the cut; but the estranged motions we go through to try and find the thread leading back to our lives doesn’t. These are the quiet moments without answers, like loose ends dangling.

        Zoey crept into the kitchen and signaled for him to follow her to the porch. She had just hung the last load of laundry on the line for the afternoon. They were both beat and sweat through from cleaning. They shimmied the big metal ice bucket to the front, fearing they’d disturb Antha. She was so far gone that an earthquake couldn’t wake her. They popped two well-earned beers and exchanged the bits and pieces of what they learned from the twins over the past few weeks.

        “…that’s crazy, right? Like there’s no way what Tessa told me could be real, right? Did someone roofie their drinks?” Zoey asked him as she tied his wavy hair into a top-knot.

        “I’m just worried that something happened they won’t say, like they’re traumatized—I mean, Zo, I was driving to the bar and I seen them covered in blood on the side of the road. Tessa was screaming in the ER that a vampire attacked her sister—and then Antha all of a sudden, calms her down and explains to the doctors that they were lost in the woods, came upon the bed and breakfast for help, and that a strange man assaulted them there. Said they used a fireplace poker in defense, bloodied him up real good, and they escaped to the main road.” Doug took a swig of beer to recuperate.

        He was getting worked up just relaying the story, “But the cops, they investigated that place and found six bodies—slaughtered—in the basement, two of them the owners. The bodies had been sitting there for days before the twins got to ‘em. I’m scared that maniac’s out there. I mean—I’m scared in my own damn apartment when I think about it. What if they were found in that basement? What if we couldn’t find them?” He shook his head.

        “What can we do for them? Are there groups for people like this, who think they’ve seen something supernatural?” Zoey mused aloud as she pinned her jet-black pixie cut hair out of her face. The two pulled fresh beers out of the ice bucket and vowed to do some research after the weekend. They agreed their first goal was to get the twins fed and cared for.

        They watched the sun set into folds of purple, pink, and orange over the high grass. The heat of the day receded with the light, but the humidity persisted only to remind them that it was an intermission; the threat remained that the summer’s full force would return at tomorrow’s dawn.

        The grasshoppers were summoned as Doug strummed his guitar, not truly playing anything particular. Zoey brought out cards to shuffle, waiting on Tessa to play. The evening began to set in peacefully until a rumble cut through the twilight.

        A huge pickup truck barreled down the long drive and parked in front of the house. Out jumped the infamous Flake. His blond hair contrasted against the lavender sky, budding starlight glinting off his aviator sunglasses, and a tooth pick in the corner of his mouth completed his redneck-chic visage. He swaggered up to the porch and was met with a startled Antha; she had jumped up like a viper at the sound of his wheels. He donned a large patch like bandage over half an eye and his hands were wrapped too.

        “Tessa around?” Franco didn’t even offer small talk which had Antha go straight from just waking up to furious.

        “Not for you.”

“Well, I wanted to check in on her—haven’t been able to call on account of that scuffle at the bar. Them boys got my tires and my phone.”

        “Looks like they got your eye too.” She scoffed.

        “Yep,” he laughed and pulled his sunglasses down to reveal those piercing big blues, “you should see the other guy.”

        “We did.” Her disdain seemed to suck the air out of the whole yard. Franco leaned on the porch banister and pulled a smoke from behind his ear. Her eyes burned so hot on him she could have lit his cigarette.

        “I can see you’re not much for visitors, so I’ll just leave this. If you could give it to Tessa, I’d be mighty grateful.” He handed her a number, but she walked away not even considering it. Zoey jumped up and took the note. “Night ya’ll.” Franco flicked his butt into the yard and made his way back to his truck.

        Long after he left and the noise of his truck faded Antha sat, her arms crossed, on the porch swing. Her friends idled by, every so often glancing in her direction waiting for her to speak her mind. The disgruntled twin couldn’t connect the pieces of her dislike for Franco. It wasn’t as simple as his jeans were too torn, his truck too loud, or his gaze too heavy; it was the fact that she knew nothing about him. No one did. Where did he come from—and where was he going? It didn’t add up to Antha that he was the first hillbilly she ever met without a tan. What working man doesn’t have a farmer’s tan? Finally, after a good twenty-five minutes of contemplation Antha announced, “I need a drink.” With a flutter of Zoey’s sundress, she presented a liter of honey whiskey, lemon wedges, and shot glasses.

        A few shots and some pizza in her stomach, Antha started to feel somewhat whole. The four-hour nap revived her a bit, or least lessened the haze she had been wading through. She could finally take in her surroundings: she was lucky to have her friends. When the mosquitos really started to bite they brought their party inside and relished the cool—and now clean—house. “I don’t know what I’d do without you two, I’m sorry I can’t,” she paused, “I just can’t right now.” Before Antha could work out her sentiment the queen bee descended from her room.

        “That’s it! I have decided!” Tessa announced, thumping down the stairs like a sentinel charge. “I’m going to visit José tomorrow—even though it’s not my fault he got his ass beat, I still think it’s only fair to show love.” She waited, her hands on her hips, for their unyielding approval or preferably a round of applause.

        “Look at you growing a conscious,” was the general consensus of the other three. Tessa saucily tossed her braids as she dusted her shoulders. They all scooted into the kitchen table and fed her dinner. Just like a heart, she had a way of pulsing life into a room. Before they knew it, they were swapping stories like always.

        Tessa was laughing and teasing Doug when she took a shot. She threw her empty glass down on the table as was customary, but when the glass met the table it then clinked as if something had been dropped into it. They all sat forward to see a silvery-gray eye in the bottom.

        “Did you just spit that in there?” Doug’s eyes were wide.

        The twins beheld each other knowingly.

        In the beginning, they initially freaked out over the eyes returning. Now it became a sickening fascination of what they could do to them. The eyes always returned. They burned them, they drowned them, and they threw them away; every time the eyes returned to the twins.

        “I tried to tell you, but you’re not listening,” Antha began, “these eyes are following us. Ever since we killed that thing at Hollow House, we’ve had them.” Doug and Zoey’s faces were pained in disbelief.

        “Here.” Tessa got up roughly and held the eye over the sink. She turned on the garbage disposal and dropped it in; it made a grotesque metal sound and then after a few rotations, crunched like glass. Antha showed the eye that was always in her back pocket and explained she threw it away in a drain across town earlier that day. She threw hers in too, directly into the disposal.

        “Well, how long does it take for them to come back?” Zoey asked.

        “They’re not coming back—this is a trick!” Doug looked like an angry leprechaun with his reddened face and stubble. The twins’ faces didn’t even shift with the accusation.

        “Sometimes its seconds, sometimes hours, or a day. It doesn’t matter, they’ll be back.” Antha confirmed and the twins took their seats at the table. The room became solemn as Tessa popped another round of beers and poured a flight of shots for them all, knowing the liquid courage was needed. Doug jumped up from his seat and began checking under cushions, searching cupboards, and drawers. The girls sat back and waited as he processed.

        He huffed, “…you got back-ups, or hiding ‘em somewhere—I don’t know why you’re playing with me right now…it’s not funny…” But then a loud plop sounded on the kitchen table, like a golf ball dropped from the ceiling. He turned to watch a second oversized marble drop seemingly out of thin air. He returned to the table and gawked at the two eyes sitting in front of the twins. “You got to tell us what happened at Hollow House.” Doug’s voice was hushed as he shakily accepted the whiskey shot from Tessa. In unison they saluted and threw back the shots with beer chasers.

        While the four friends went over the sordid events, in gruesome detail, a mysterious figure watched from the unlit porch window. The uninvited guest crept off through the yard, down the dirt-path driveway, and made a phone call:

        “They got them eyes,” it reported, “I reckon there’ll be a war.”

Twinning Taglist: If you want to be added or removed just let me know; please share with anyone that might be interested. I would love any and all feedback so I can learn and become a better writer. Thank you!  I tagged some people that I thought would be interested in this. @myoxisbroken​ @just-the-hiddles​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @nildespirandum​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @latent-thoughts​ @emeraldrosequartz​ @villainousshakespeare​ @hopelessromanticspoonie​ @caffiend-queen​ @poetic-fiasco​ @lokimostly​ @dianamolloy​ @marvelgirlonamarvelworld​ @brightsunanddarkmidnight2-0​ @cateyes315​ @mooncat163​ @nuggsmum​ @myraiswack​​​ @wolfpawn​​ @plastic-heart​​ @confusednerd09​

[eldritchsurveys]

790.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? >> ---

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? >> Yeah, I gave them a lot when I lived in New York.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? >> I don’t drive, so it’s irrelevant. Also, if I need directions somewhere these days I just use Google Maps. (I don’t always use the GPS itself because I enjoy figuring it out on my own as if the app were a paper map.)

How many people do you text daily? >> One at most, but usually zero.

Do you have an iPod or an MP3 player? Which brand? >> No, I use my phone as a music player.

What was your favorite television show as a child? >> I don’t recall having one.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? >> No.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? >> No.

What did you do on your last birthday? >> I don’t remember. I don’t think we went to Chicago on that weekend, mostly because we did two Chicago day-trips last year to get my suit and couldn’t really budget in a third.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? >> Sloth.

Has anyone ever told you that you're incapable of whispering? >> No, but I’ve known a fair few people that fit that description.

What is your least favorite subject in school? >> ---

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? >> No. I was technically the subject of one as a baby, but it really isn’t much of a battle if one party doesn’t even bother showing up to fight...

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other's face? >> That’s... such a disgusting turn of phrase, please spare me.

Who was the best kisser you've ever dated? >> ---

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? >> This morning, with my breakfast. Watched Wisecrack’s new video about comedy news, which got me interested in Patriot Act (which I think is on Netflix?).

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? >> No.

How many times a week do you usually see the person you love? >> I see the important people in my life every day.

When was the last time you held someone's hand? >> ---

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? >> I ate one actual meal. Nothing else I ate today would qualify as a full meal to me.

Do you think it's stupid for people to call others "hot?" >> Uh, no?

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? >> No, it’s a reliable springboard. The sources in the References section, on the other hand, can often be really useful.

Are you someone who listens to more girl or guy bands? >> Most of the artists I listen to are male.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? >> I know I’ve been inside one, back when there was one on Bleecker and Broadway, but I don’t remember if I bought anything.

Do you care about spending money if it's someone else's money? >> Of course I do.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? >> Lilo and Stitch, probably. I want to rewatch that soon, but I’m guessing everything Disney is on Disney+ right now (and streaming from torrents is an incredible pain in the ass in my experience).

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? >> I don’t recall that ever coming up in my daydreams.

What are the color of your walls? Do you want to repaint? >> Off-white. They’re not my walls to paint (it’s an apartment complex).

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? >> Hardwood, absolutely.

Do you have any siblings you neglect you? >> ---

Who would you say is the most selfish person you know? >> I wouldn’t say that about anyone I know.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? >> ---

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? >> Once, to church camp. I’ve gone to camp far more as an adult.

What were the last three movies you watched in theaters? >> Birds of Prey, uhh... fuck. Oh, right, Jojo Rabbit. Don’t remember anything beyond that.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? >> Yeah.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? >> No.

Do you believe in ghosts, spirits or demons? >> I’m open to the experience.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? >> I don’t usually think that about places. I don’t think I have much of a sense for that kind of phenomena.

What is your favorite breakfast meal? >> Veggie burger and chips, apparently, since that’s what I eat every day.

What does the lead singer of your favorite band look like? >> ---

Who was the last person to compliment you? >> I don’t remember the last compliment I got.

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? >> I was eighteen the first time I went on a date.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? >> ---

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? >> No. I also just don’t think I encountered any of those.

What is the best movie you've seen in the last five years? >> I’ve seen at least like 60 movies in the past five years, how could I possibly choose.

Has anyone ever called you a good kisser before? >> Maybe.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? >> ---

Are you the jealous type? >> Not at all.

Does life ever seem overly ironic to you? >> Not... really?

When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? >> I’m not familiar with that feeling.

Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? >> I’m sure I do, somewhere. There are a lot of people in this world that behave in ways that suggest this. I mean, my own mother was one.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? >> I watch them on streaming services, but yeah.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? >> I don’t usually go there. I do sometimes like that caramel empanada thing they sell, though.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? >> No.

What's your favorite hairstyle you've had so far? >> ---

Do you have freckles? >> No.

How many dogs do you have, if any at all? >> Zero.

Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? >> Yep.

Do you think biting is weird or sexy? >> Depends on the context, don’t it? It’d be weird as fuck if a stranger came up and bit me, for example.

Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? >> No.

Have you ever had a pet turtle before? >> Nope.

Do you still sleep with your parents when you're scared sometimes? >> ---

Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? >> No.

Have you ever felt like someone was following you? >> Probably.

How many surveys on average would you say you've done in your lifetime? >> Oh, god. Like... a couple thousand at least.

What color shirt are you wearing at the moment? >> Black.

Do you enjoy going school shopping? >> ---

Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? >> I think they’re a pretty disturbing mutation of dogness, but I wouldn’t treat them poorly because of it. It ain’t their fault humans are weird.

Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? >> No, but I’ve seen listicles like that, lol. They’re always funny.

Has anyone ever knitted you something before? >> No.

What was the worst substance you've spilled on yourself before? >> I don’t recall ever spilling anything heinous on myself. Alcohol can be bad because then you smell like booze and that’s just not a good look.

Have you ever made out with more than one person in one night? >> Yeah.

What three words would describe the person you love? >> ---

Do you think their is a soulmate out there for everyone? >> I don’t find the concept of soulmates useful at all. I guess you could use that word for how I feel about Can Calah, but there are too many awkward (for me) connotations attached to that word by now and I would just rather not.

Do you like short or long surveys the best? >> Longish. This is kind of too long for me, tbh, but I soldier on.

Do you think hairspray is more helpful or annoying? >> I don’t use hairspray.

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? >> No.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? >> ---

How many uncles do you have? >> ---

What would you say is the worst movie you've ever seen? >> All of the movies I really didn’t like, I didn’t finish, so I can’t remember them now.

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? >> I freak out in excitement, lol. I did freak out pretty badly when I was a child, though. And then one day in adolescence the switch flipped. *shrug*

What is something you'd consider yourself obsessed with? >> Mythology.

How often do you shower? >> Every couple of days.

Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? >> No.

What is the absolute worst thing about high school? >> What isn’t.

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? >> Zero.

What kind of cheese do you like the most? >> Pepper jack. Also goat cheese.

Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? >> I wouldn’t describe anyone like that, it doesn’t convey any actual information.

Have you ever met an annorexic pregnant woman? >> What the fuck. What is your favorite lyric of all time? >> ---

Do you know someone who has made their Xbox their best friend basically? >> No???

Do you ever watch any soap operas? >> I mean, I watch Grey’s Anatomy.

Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? >> Sure.

If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be? >> I would love to get another tattoo, but seeing as that’s not going to happen any time soon, I don’t have any ideas firmly in mind right now.

If you have any piercings, who did them? >> I don’t remember where I got my nose piercing. Probably at that one spot on St Marks Place. (My ears were done as a baby.)

Do you usually have a low tolerance for pain or high tolerance? >> I have a pretty decent tolerance for most physical aches, but not any kind of abdominal cramp.

Do you give into peer pressure easily? >> That’s not really an issue for me.

Have you ever simply looked at someone & could tell they were homosexual? >> Not unless they were wearing gay pride attire at the Pride parade, or something. Even then they could just be a really exciteable ally, lol (or an otherwise not-cishet person but not necessarily a gay person).

Do you have the ability to read someone without even knowing them? >> No.

Would you rather eat or sleep? >> Er... whichever one I needed at the time?

Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? >> No.

Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailor? >> Yeah, they do shit with the music that gets to be painfully identifiable after a while but my brain is still a sucker for it.

When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? >> I don’t remember. I’ve been buzzing my head for years.

Do your parents ever force you to talk to your grandparents? >> ---

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? >> Meh.

Do you think long surveys are broing or entertaining? >> Well, most of them are boring because the questions start to flag in quality. Do I still take them? Yeah. You do what you gotta do.

Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? >> Yup.

When was the last time you had a physical injury? >> I don’t remember.

Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? >> Not at all.

Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? >> No. I don’t even have that kind of money.

Is there anyone in your imediate family who was adopted? >> ---

Do you know anyone who doesn't have any common sense? >> I don’t think common sense is a thing. There are people I know who are not experienced in the same ways I’m experienced; when they are clueless about a thing I’m intimately familiar with, then it sometimes strikes me as odd, yeah. But that doesn’t mean my sense is “common” or that they’re stupid, it just means I’m used to knowing what I know and I often assume other people do too (which is what I get for assuming).

When was the last time you bought something? >> Saturday, at the farmers’ market.

Do you think you look anything like your parents? >> ---

Who is the skinniest person you know? Is it because of a disease? >> I don’t know, man, I’m not keeping track.

Do you know someone who is discustingly obese who wears G-strings? >> Wow.

Do you know someone who insults themselves to get attention? >> I know a lot of self-deprecating people, but far be it from me to assume that they’re doing it for attention. Some might be, but that’s not up to me to determine.

Is this year the best one you've had so far? >> LOL

What are your plans for this weekend? >> This coming weekend? I have no idea.

What color is your significant other's hair? >> Sparrow’s hair is currently a burgundy-type red. Can Calah’s hair is white. King Crimson’s hair is kind of the same colour as Sparrow’s, incidentally.

Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? >> Maybe.

Do you know anyone who does drugs currently? >> Sure.

Would you ever become a foster parent? >> No.

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? >> ---

What jobs do your parents have? >> ---

Would rather talk to someone on a landline or a cell phone? >> I’d rather not talk to anyone on a phone, period.

Have you ever had a Tumblr account? Are you devoted to it? >> What’s tumblr? (I don’t know if “devoted” is the word I’d use, but I’m pretty fond of my blogs and the fun I have putting stuff on them.)

Has anyone ever given you a psychiatric assessment? >> Yes.

If you got pregnant right now, would you abort the baby? >> Of course, but see, I avoid that situation entirely by just not doing anything that could possibly get me pregnant.

Speaking of which, are you for or against abortion? >> Take a wild guess.

What is your favorite amusement park? >> I don’t have one. Well, does Luna Park at Coney Island count? Lot of good times there.

What was the best Christmas gift you've ever gotten? >> ---

Has anyone ever called you jealous of them before? >> Sure.

Did you ever have braces? >> Nope.

Who is your favorite actor or actress? >> It varies.

What is the most important date in your life so far? >> ---

How many people your age do you know who are pregnant? >> Zero.

What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? >> ---

Do you believe in evolution or creation? >> I stand pretty firmly on the side of evolution. I do love a good creation myth, though.

Would you rather take a bath or a shower? Why or why not? >> I will never take a bath if I can help it. I just have a strong aversion to them, take it up with my neuroatypical brain matter.

What group would you say you'd normally fit into the most? >> Bold of you to assume etc etc

As a child, what game did you want to play the most? >> ---

Does it bother you when people touch your personal items? >> It really does. Unless I’ve given express permission, of course, but that doesn’t really happen with anyone except Sparrow.

When was the last time you did something sexual? >> Er... about a week ago? Something like that?

Where was the last place you went on vacation? >> Texas. Kind of a vacation. Mostly a day-and-a-half trip for the purpose of attending a wedding.

Do you collect anything? What? >> No.

What kind of Pringles do you like the most? >> I don’t.

Are you better at hand-drawing things or painting? >> I assume I’m slightly better at drawing than at painting, simply because I actually have a background in drawing (although my muscle memory is pretty atrophied).

Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? >> Not in so many words.

What do you think is the grossest taste in the world? >> Oh, I don’t know.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

More Bandily

• Bessie is the oldest, then Maria, then Joan, and then Maggie

• Maria, Joan, and Maggie are referred to as each other’s “sisters”

• Bessie calls them “her girls”

• They sneak out a lot

• Literally broke into a community pool to swim

• They’ve reenacted Lord of the Flies in the middle of the night before because why the hell not

• All four get super competitive in any co-op game they play

• They secretly buy each other pride flags, hang them up in their rooms, and see how long it takes to get noticed

• They’re so close hhhhh

• Sometimes one of them will yell “HALL MEETING!!!” and then they have a meeting in the hallway

• Bessie and Maria are the best at comfort

• Joan and Maggie are not

• Maggie is terrible at verbally comforting someone. If a person is hurt, usually she’ll just hug them from behind, rest her head on their back, and wait until they calm down or stop crying

• Joan just gets protective and is ready to fight

• Bessie will literally use her girl’s middle names when she’s worried about them/scolding them/angry with them

* Oh yeah, middle names! Maggie Elizabeth, Maria Tambores, Joan...Siwa...., Bessie Bernadette

• They’ve learned all of each other’s triggers to avoid making each other uncomfortable

• Like how Bessie hates being called “Lizzie” and also doesn’t like the phrase “Bless’ee Bessie Blount”

• And how Maggie doesn’t like dogs or the dark or tight spaces or being alone

• Maria is super gentle

• Maria took her sisters clubbing before but they all mainly just sat at a booth the whole time playing on their phones

• During this one Thanksgiving, they played kickball against the queens and Maggie ran into a windmill

• They are a very competitive team

• Maggie loves animals and wants to take home every stray she sees. Maria and Joan are so set on this idea

• They compulsively bought a baby goat before

• “Where are my GIRLS!!!!!” -Bessie, 24/7

• Bessie drives them everywhere because Maggie can’t, Maria driving makes her nervous, and Joan just doesn’t like driving

• Maria is actually a really good cook

• Joan is not

• Maggie has a tendency to go nonverbal for some time, usually after a panic attack or episode or meltdown, but the other three are very patient with her

• Maggie sometimes will play a certain song over and over again to relax herself and her family have just gotten used to it

• Maria, Joan, and Maggie play The Floor Is Lava a lot and sometimes they’ll just sit on the coffee table for an hour until someone backs out

• They get Bessie to play sometimes

• When getting groceries, Maria INSISTS on taking all the bags in at once which causes Bessie to scream “MARIA THE EGGS”

• They do this thing where they’ll just...see this place and they’ll be like “yup that’s where I’m going to spend my day”

• For example, Joan walking into the kitchen to get a drink and sees Maggie on top of the fridge drawing and she doesn’t question it at all

• Maria, throwing a water bottle at her sister’s heads: YOU NEED TO STAY HYDRATED CHILDREN

•It’s become an ongoing joke to call Maggie a ferret because she looks like one

• Parr, about Maggie: I don’t think we’ve met.

Maria: Oh sorry this is our pet ferret

• Maggie once fell out of a tree she was climbing and came down so hard branches snapped under her. She had to sleep on her stomach for two weeks because of how badly her back was bruised

• They all went to see Tomb Raider (2018) together and they thought it was amazing

• Joan: Tomb Raider was good. I liked when Lara killed the men

• Maggie definitely has a crush on Lara Croft

• Maggie stress chews and when there’s nothing around for her to gnaw on, she bites the skin off her knuckles

• Bessie, noticing that Maggie is grinding her teeth against her bottom lip: GET THAT LIP OUT OF YOUR MOUTH YOUNG LADY

• They rarely ever fight, but you know it’s bad when they do

• Maggie starts carrying gum around with her everywhere (mainly because of her chewing problem) and Maria asks for some all the time

• She once just threw an entire packet at her head before

• She thanked her

• Joan accidentally poured a can of soda into a bowl of macaroni and cheese while the other three watched without attempting to stop her

• Bessie walked into the kitchen and found a block of cheese in the utensils drawer, which somebody had decided was a knife when they were putting away groceries. Then she tried to look for cream cheese and could not find it for the life of her. It still hasn’t been found

• Maggie wears glasses

• Because her vision is shit for some reaosn

• But this one time she fell asleep with contacts on and woke up thinking she got her proper sight back

• Maggie attempted to cut her hair with a knife and it Did Not End Well

[determinationisnotcrash]

Conspiracy! Search Between the Lines of the Movie Script!

I wrote animated actor skits between the characters as a joke on the RP part of the @gbpack-discord , but then I thought about what kind of studio would allow the use of very real laser-shooting bone beasts in movies, as well as what kind of actors would stay around laser-shooting bone beasts, and this oneshot was born.

Impact and Soichiro belong to me.

Sabre and his brother (tentative name: Tsurugi) belong to @paddie-ut

Rigel and his brother (tentative name: Kaoru) belong to @skellepuns

Sabre helplessly clung for his life to the branch at the top of the prop tree like a stuck cat. “So this is how I die… Mum… Dad… Bro… I’m so sorry… You were right, I should have just stayed home doing Super Robot Wars recordings all along…”

Impact – or rather, the creature playing the role of the beastman’s body – kept trying to leap up at Sans, eying him hungrily like it had just discovered what it would have for its next meal.

From a safe distance (knowing well that trying to interfere himself would lead to being ripped in two), Impact’s voice actor yelled. “Hang in there, Sabre! You’ll be alright! Help is on its way! As long as you sit tight and don’t move-”

CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!

The raptor started munching on the tree, its massive jaws easily slicing through the thick material like butter! The skeletal actor facepalmed, feeling quite foolish for jinxing it.

On the other hand (or rather, paw), another actor decided he’d had enough of seeing his co-worker being chased around by beasts. With several heavy footsteps, Rigel dashed towards the raptor and tackled it, wrestling it to the ground.

In his base humanoid form, it would have been like throwing himself at a brick wall. But in that half-beast shape, not only did he have a lot extra weight to throw around, he had quite the solid constitution. The ravenous animal snapped and struggled like the beast it was, but it was completely pinned.

Just in time, the people Impact’s voice actor called over arrived! Rigel carefully handed it over, not releasing his grip until it was safely in chains.

Rigel turned upwards towards his friend, putting on what he hoped looked like a reassuring smile. “Alright, Sabre! It’s safe to come down now!”

The small half-Blaster slid down to the ground. Without a moment’s hesitation, he sprinted past the others and off the set.

“Sabre…? Wait! We’re not finished with this scene!”

***

Break Room

Sabre huddled in the break room, staring grumpily at nothing in particular. During this time, several staff passed by, such as the ones in charge of props and special effects, but it felt too awkward for them to talk.

This continued for about half an hour… before he was startled out of his sulk by the sound of a coin rolling into a vending machine slot. A claw-tipped hand holding a canned drink entered his field of vision. “Wanna talk about it?” Sabre followed the arm to see…

“You’re Rigel… no, your real name is…”

“My name really is Rigel. Rigel H. Aster. Yours?”

“Rigel H. Aster…?” Sabre’s face lit up at the familiar surname. “I know you! You’re one of the leads of Pink Dark Boy! And the main lead of The Silver Soul! As for my name… it’s also really Sabre. Sabre Midorikawa.”

Rigel’s smile remained on his muzzle, but his eyes slightly narrowed at the last sentence. “Heh, that is what I’m famous for. But Midorikawa…? The actor half the staff- no, half the world is practically in love with? Did you use connections to…? And hold on a sec, how can a blind man watch television?”

A green blush tinted the small Blaster’s cheeks. “O-oh, I’m not actually blind.” He lifted a handpaw and with a cartoonish POP sound, the socket-blackening lenses came out. “And yes, I would like to talk about it. I just can’t stand the Director’s choices anymore! I thought I had the resolve to keep coming here, no matter what, but now…”

The tall, bulky skeleton nodded, taking a sip of his own soda, but his eyes bugged out upon the unfamiliar flavour reaching his tongue. He looked down at the can. Grass Jelly…!? Then Sabre got…

“EUUUUGH!” Several splutters and coughs left the man’s maw, his entire face seemingly scrunching up. “This milk…! It expired years ago!”

“Sorry, I should’ve known not to trust in company import vending machines.” Taking both cans, the blue humanoid dragon poured them down the sink, before chucking the empty cans away. It was for the sewage plants to deal with now. He silently wished them luck. “…Anyway, people drop in and out all the time. I don’t think anyone would blame you for wanting to leave. Just one question I’d like to ask, first…”

Sabre felt uncomfortable, shifting under the dragon man’s gaze. “Depends what it is…”

“Why did you come here in the first place? Everyone around the world is aware of the Director’s extreme methods. His movies have a massive following, but he’s renowned on the streets as a terrible employer.”

The smaller Blaster’s eyes seemed to shift their focus to thin air, recounting a time that had already passed. “Can you keep a secret?”

Rigel nodded solemnly.

Sabre checked the area around him, before ushering Rigel into the restroom and locking the door. He sat down on the toilet, getting ready for a long explanation. “It’s the reason I chose to have my character be a blind man to begin with… And the reason why that ‘Impact’ creature the Director brought along makes me so uncomfortable. I’m not only an actor, you see…

“I do detective work on the side – anything from missing pets, goods, or people… to dangerous cases, involving things like human trafficking and drugs. Mind you, I don’t operate alone. The reason why I’m not beloved as a detective is that my brother Tsurugi is the figurehead of our operations.”

That name was enough to make Rigel’s hair stand on end… is what would have happened if he had any. Instead, his ectobody tensed up, going from the consistency of blueberry jelly to more firm agar jelly. “That Tsurugi… The Early Genius? You’ve gotta be pulling my leg!”

Sabre disproved him, taking out his wallet and revealing a photo of them together. “I’m dead serious.”

“N-no way…”

“Way. Tsurugi’s hailed as a genius and a fighter, but that isn’t entirely correct. He’s the combat expert who handles the battles, whereas I’m the discrete thinker. He shines in the light, whereas I loyally provide him with everything he needs from the shadows.”

Cogs in Rigel’s skull started to turn. “I see… but… wasn’t he recently…?”

A grimace formed on the shorter man’s face as he confirmed. “Yeah. It was a crime in my hometown…”

***

La Gias City, two months ago

“HAAAAAA…! TASTE THIS, MY SIGNATURE TECHNIQUE! HUNDRED STORM FIST!” With strength beyond that of mortal men, the skeleton let out a fist rush, the wind stirred up from each punch being enough to blow away all his opponents!

“Heads up, bro! They’ve got reinforcements coming from below!”

Tsurugi’s confident grin didn’t fade. “Is that so? Then…” He leaped into the air, a powerful aura flowing around him, before doing a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree spin and colliding straight into the wave of mooks coming from downstairs. “LIGHTNING KIIIICK!” The room around him illuminated brilliantly! In one fell swoop, they were all immobilised!

Sabre couldn’t help but grin upon witnessing his brother’s handiwork. He really was amazing…! “Alright, proceed! The ‘boss’ is at the top!”

“Roger that!” Tsurugi sprinted up the stairs, entering a large, grandiose office room. It looked almost like the huge, majestic boss’ offices he saw on television: larger than a personal office had any right to be, elaborate paintings on the wall, and the back wall being a transparent window showcasing the night city skyline. Within it… he came face-to-face with the enemy.

Shouting with bravado, the man pointed a finger at the human woman behind the desk. “Well then, you’re the one behind all this! Kidnapping all those poor schoolboys!”

“Of course~!” The Evil Eleanor giggled. “My desire is nothing more than to dominate the young. So rather than brutes and savages, those boys are used to create fine gentlemen! Gentlemen for me to do whatever I wish with!”

“Such dreadful desires…! Desires befitting of a supervillain! Therefore, you must be punished as one!”

Eleanor cackled like a witch, the laugh of an evil hag erupting from the otherwise beautiful face. “Just try and stop me, Tsurugi! Come, my loyal guard dogs!”

“B-bro…! Be careful! My console is picking up several extremely high energy readings right next to you!”

The paintings to the side opened up, revealing skeletal demonic creatures that looked like they crawled out of hell itself. Curved, goat-like horns. Maws filled with vicious, blade-like teeth. They were completely covered in wicked spikes, to the point where simply approaching one would cause physical harm. And the worst part was…!

Tsurugi had seen his fair share of criminals, but the eyes of these creatures? They were something far worse than even the scummiest of lawbreakers! These beings… they radiated pure evil. An unstoppable force of nature unbound by the laws of society or the modern world! The simple sight of them made the half-beast skeleton break out into a cold sweat.

“Ufufu~ Marvellous, aren’t they? I know you’re world-renowned for your close combat fighting style. These wonderful creatures are the ultimate counter!”

“Indeed…” Tsurugi took out a handkerchief and dabbed at his skull. “You have me beat… I truly have no way of countering with my Dragon Style CQC… However!” Determination ignited in his eyes. With a snap of the fingers, several airborne mechanical drones burst through the roof and from below. “You’re sorely mistaken if you think my hands and feet were my only weapons!”

Eleanor’s face contorting into all sorts of ugly expressions, she screamed, “DO IT! MAUL HIM!”

“FULL BURRRRRRRST!”

The world become awash with light… and when it cleared, there was nothing left of the demons but ash. The skeleton let out the breath he was holding. He didn’t say it out loud for obvious reasons, but those laser drones were experimental. There was an equal chance of them detonating and blowing him up.

Warily, he approached the soot-covered mastermind. “Now tell me, why did you kidnap all those boys? What meaning is there in taking innocent children away from their family and friends? Most importantly… where are they now!?”

The only response he got was a wad of spit in his face. “Fufufu… You foolish skeleton… because you had to play teen detective, you’re marked! ‘They’ will pursue you to the ends of the Earth, until you’re silenced! Guhhh…” The life faded from her eyes. Unfortunately, it seemed that was all the information he would ever be able to receive from her.

***

The next night, Midorikawa Household

Tsurugi shifted in bed uncomfortably, that woman’s words still bouncing around his skull. It was the wee hours of the morning, yet he was unable to sleep. They… they… who were they…?

The sound of the fridge opening and being messily rummaged through, for once, was welcome. Sabre! Someone he could talk to about this!

Tail wagging vigorously, he leaped out of bed and all but sprinted downstairs into the kitchen. The creature he saw there would be the last thing he would see for quite some time. “…Y-you’re-!”

SLASH!

***

Present Day

Sabre finished his tale, a lump in his throat. “He was taken completely off-guard. The fact that he managed to fight it off anyway while blinded, unable to use his equipment, and hurt by physical contact with it is impressive, but just what I’d expect of my bro.

“No damage is permanent… he’ll heal, thanks to the funding and technology we have… but it’ll be a while before he’s able to see or move properly again. For that purpose, he’s in hiding right now while recovering. We took the opportunity to fake his death for now.”

The Blaster shuddered again at the recollection. “I felt crushed by that. If it weren’t for me wanting my brother to have all the glory… He wouldn’t have been targeted. I tried to make up for it by coming here, but… I’m starting to wonder whether it’s even worth it, if simple situations like these nearly kill me. If I’m just causing more problems…”

Rigel attempted a comforting purr, patting his friend on the back. “Sabre… It’s admirable that you’re doing something like this. I… I have a secret to reveal, too.” He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a shiny golden badge. “I’m a member of the International Police. Kit is, as well.”

“What!? I thought that was just a thing in movies!”

Chuckling, the dragon gave a friendly wink. “That’s what they want you to think!” The amiable expression, however, disappeared as he continued his explanation. “There have been a lot of funds diverted to the Director and his projects, some through legal means, others through not-so-legal means. A lot of money laundering’s been going on.

“And additionally, there’s… you know, that… thing. ‘Impact’. I became familiar with creatures like it prior to coming here. I performed an infiltration in one of the Director’s secret labs with my brother. What I found was something terrible…”

***

Lightbringer Labs, one month ago

Rigel had to physically clutch his snout to prevent the vomit from coming out. “T-this is…!” Familiar footsteps quickly approached from behind him, causing his heart to leap into his throat. “Kaoru, don’t look-!”

Too late! His brother had already seen the awful sight. “N-no… No, no, no, no, no, no, no…!” Those children were…!

In contrast to the hi-tech, futuristic outer walls of the institute, this room looked like it belonged to a deranged cult. Strange symbols, coupled with indecipherable writing were drawn in red paint(…?) all over the walls and floor, and beaten, ragged-looking children were placed in the very centre.

Cloaked figures surrounding the circle chanted out harsh, disgusting-sounding words, as a large muscular figure approached the children. It slowly raised its blade, and…! And…!! The two brothers reflexively looked away, but the sound of the splatter and the scent of blood were enough to confirm what had happened.

The room was soon filled with a terrible atmosphere – one that made Rigel even more physically sick than he already was. He had to fight the instinct to just flee that rose within him. The waves of evil aura became stronger and stronger… and a ball of shadow coalesced at the centre of the room. One of the cloaked figures grabbed it before Rigel could get a good look at it… but it was skeletal. And moving.

A smile – not genuine in the slightest and more like the fake one of a dog’s or dolphin’s – spread across the face of the staff member next to them. “Remember, you signed the legally binding contract! If you speak a word of this classified information to the general public… You’ll soon join them.”

A voice in Rigel’s mind screamed at him to tear the man apart. But he knew that wouldn’t get him anywhere, and he had to bear it for now.  

***

“Connections across the world, where they kidnap sacrifices… Labs, where they create hellbeasts… A movie, where they use real live hellbeasts… and, where they aim to portray said hellbeasts in a positive and affable light…

“I don’t know what the Director’s goal is, but it’s something sinister for sure. That’s why Kit and I decided to come here.”

This new information made Sabre’s head spin. Those children Tsurugi couldn’t save… and it was happening all across Earth…? After what felt like hours, though in reality it was a minute at most, the skeleton came to a decision. “…If the incident’s grown this large, then I have no choice but to keep going! My brother would have never turned a blind eye to an injustice like this! For my brother, and those poor children…”

Resolve starting to grow in his voice, Sabre continued, “We’ll beat that bastard at his own game! We’ll make a great movie, and find out what this Director is up to! Red, Doc, Mr Ignis, Magester, Ginger… maybe even that Soichiro guy who does lines for Impact! If we get them in on this as well, and use the creative control we’re allowed, we can foil the Director on all fronts!”

A grin spread across his face as the two of them left the toilet cubicle, heads held higher than anyone who had just taken a dump would look. Several stares went their way, but Sabre didn’t care at all. Just keep waiting, bro… soon, I’ll get to the bottom of this!

[pbandjesse]

I'm back in my hammock. I love my hammock. I miss being next to my James but I am happy right now. For the most part today was really nice. It was a good day.

I slept alright. I remember falling asleep and it was a solid night's rest. I woke up before my alarm. And would get out of bed a few minutes early. James came and made the bed while I got dressed. I really liked my outfit today. I felt pretty. I felt good.

James would walk out with me. And I decided to stop for breakfast even though I really didn't want to eat. I knew I needed too. I decided to get orange juice instead of soda but that was like $3 for some reason. And while it was fine oj, I don't think I'll do that again.

I had a nice drive to camp. I found a new band, called Hot Mulligan, and I've been enjoying them a lot. They have like the perfect 2006 emo sound. It's great. Very nostalgic.

I was a little frustrated when I got to camp. My outlets got overused last night when they tried to play a movie. But they didn't actually fix them. Which is whatever, I was able to fix them. But my issue really was that they unplugged my cord that goes to my fridge!! Rude. Thankfully it was fine but it makes me annoyed when people unplug things and don't put them back.

I went to the office to voice my displeasure. Elizabeth agreed it was very rude and she apologized on behalf of whoever did that. And I decided I would take a walk to calm down.

I went and ate berries. I love wine berries. They are my favorite berry. I enjoyed my walk. And I went to pet Quakers the duck and the goats. Who yelled at me when I walked away. But I was happy to pet them for a while.

I went back to the art building and laid in my outside hammock until Tati got there. I would finish my book today and got started on the new one. Which made me really happy. I had more time to read today and that felt good.

Tati was very helpful today, and she made some fun art with found objects. I have to hold myself back when I was to be weird about supplies. Because she's not wasting things, she's using them and that is fine but I am just feeling possessive for no reason so I am trying to let it go. I'm glad she's making art. That is what I shall focus on even if my brain is like. Fear!! Loss!! Control!! Its unnecessary, everything is fine.

And she was a big help. I was able to just focus on what was happening in the building and did my machine sewing and things were very good. Even if both my morning groups were 15 minutes late, everyone finished their little bad and it made me very happy.

I had my breakfast sandwich for lunch and hung in my hammock. Eventually Trista came to use a hammock. And Ty would join us too. We all chatted for a while. And eventually, sadly, it was time for our groups.

I would have a kid doing tipi wakan today and I felt bad I didn't have as much stuff for him to help with. But the things he helped with were excellent. He did sorting and folding fabric and just those little things that I haven't been doing but needed to be done. And when we had day camp groups he was a big help with the finishing work and putting on buttons and it was nice to have the help. So it wasn't all on Tati.

I would read during my break. And I felt excited to do the metal casting with the boys. I am for sure going to need more metal if I'm gonna do this another week. I am going to go and try to have a conversation about that tomorrow with the office. But once the boys got started they did so good. Like it was so fun. No everyone's worked exactly right, but we are getting the hang of it. Coined shapes work best, and we were able to make some fun little pieces. I love when the boys make things for their girlfriends. It's so cute. But it was just a lot of fun. And everyone did a good job.

After the last day camp group I had my tipi wakan kid work on a shield painting while I went and read my book for a half hour. And then we would finish the day with the horse girls.

I taught a few of them how to widdle and use a knife. So I was able to sign off on their knife skills portion of their tipi wakan paper. And all the girls did really good. Celia would come and join us and we shared photos of the mushroom I found this morning. When I found it it was so round but when she came by later it was all tall and flat!! So strange!

Dinner was pretty good. I was so happy we had vegetable spring rolls and I could have them!! Me and Ty would help with hand out seconds. I had two scoopers for rice and was having fun handing it out.

We got cookies for dessert. I wanted an ice cream but it's fine. I got my cookie and came up here to lay in the dark because my head hurt.

And my eyes still hurts. But it's fine. Ty came up and we talked for a long time and he filled me in on gossip and things going on around camp that I didn't know. He's a sweet boy and I don't like that there has been stuff that's bothered him. He's going to make a proposal to the office about expanding the bird enclosure so that Rocky, the turkey, can be with the other birds. I hope they go for it.

Now I am laying in my hammock. And I am very much ready to sleep. Ty just came by to get his apples he forgot on my table. But now is time for sleep.

I hope tomorrow is good. Maybe I'll get to swim before it starts storming again. It's supposed to start tomorrow night and basically storm all Friday. We'll see what happens. I just hope it's fun.

Sleep well everyone. I hope you are taking care of yourself!!

[underroleau]

underrole chapter 4

Meanwhile...

Alphys woke up at the sound of the alarm clock, and gazed around exhausted, getting up and lazily getting to Wave.

- Mhh… what time is it… Wave…? Are you awake yet? -

She yawned, not hearing answer as she approached the bed. But the kid was still sleeping, breathing heavily.

- ...huh..? -

Seeing that something wasn’t right, Alphys approached the bed slowly, and placed a trembling hand on the kid’s forehead.

- ...oh, no.. he’s hot… -

What could she do? The first thing that came to mind, was to get some ice, dip it in a basin of water, then wet a cloth to put on his forehead. But… after that, she just stood there, hands cupped together, an uneasy expression on her face.

- I… don’t know what to do… I saw this in anime, but now.. -

She started a nervous pacing on the floor, going in circles.

- I don’t know how to heal him!! I craft machines, I am a scientist, I’m not a nurse, or a doctor!! Uhmm… mhh… I have to call Undyne… maybe she’d now what to do… no, wait… maybe Sans is better… -

The lizard rushed to get the phone, dialing his number, and waiting anxiously for the skeleton to pick up.

- C’mon, c’mon.. Answer!! -

(…)

Sans’ phone rang, interrupting him mid-conversation and making him gasp.

- Sorry, lady, brb.. -

As he picked up, Alphy’s voice ran him over.

- Hell… -

- SANS, I HAVE A PROBLEM!! WAVE HAS SOMETHING, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM! I’M NOT A DOCTOR! -

- Alphys, come down… My not-ear!… Wave isn’t feeling good..? What is he feeling? -

- PLEASE, HURRY, I’M NOT A DOCTOR, AND WE CAN’T HAVE SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN TO HIM… -

- Ok, ok!! I’m coming! But chill and stop yelling! -

- Yes… I’ll be waiting here… ok… -

- Breathe, ok? I’m coming. -

clic.

Sans lazily stood up, with a heavy sigh, and a hand brought to the back of his neck.

- Sorry, Lady, an emergency… I have to go. -

He started walking, already thinking of the shortcut to take.

- Sans, wait… -

The door opened with a slam, almost hitting him, and a goat lady in a blue dress, with the royal family crest on her chest, walked forward with a serious expression on her face.

- ...I heard someone is not feeling good.. I can help.. -

Sans just stared back at her for a moment, amazed that she was able to push open such a heavy door with no sweat.

- Alright.. I know a shortcut, old lady. -

- You can call me Toriel.. let’s go. -

(…)

At the lab, Alphys was having a hard time being chill, and frantically retrieved her cellphone from her pocket once more.

- How much does it take… how much… Maybe Undyne would’ve been faster… -

Number dialed, phone brought to her ear, nervous patting of fingers on her shoulder.

- Hello, Alphys? Good morning? - the other side answered.

- IT’S NOT A GOOD MORNING!! Undyne, hi, sorry, Wave is sick and I don’t have anything for him, you know how to cook don’t you?? I need something for him, anything, there’s nothing at the lab! -

- B-WAH.. I get it… Alphys, he can’t die before Asgore can see him, I’ll come over with some food. Maybe some soup… -

- Yes, thank you, see you soon!! -

clic.

- Ok… a soup, a soup… - Undyne looked around, scatching her head, and rushed to grab everything from the cupboard, including soda and vegetables – Doing soup is easy, pour everything in and CRANK THE HEAT UP!!! NGAHAHHA!! -

As Alphys was getting more ice to bring downstairs, she heard the doorbell, and ran to open it finding Sans and Toriel at the door.

- Fast shortcut, huh? - the skeleton said to Toriel – Alphys, what happened? -

- Come in, come in!!! - gestured the lizard, liberating the entrance – Yesterday night something attacked us, I don’t remember what exactly happened afterwards… but Wave is not looking good… -

Toriel made her way inside the lab, stiff and worried.

- Bring me to them. -

Alphys swallowed, and nodded, guiding both in the elevator.

- I need some water, and clothes or blankets to keep them warm.. and food -

- Undyne is coming with some food!! - Alphys informed

- I hope she knows how to cook… very well… -

As the elevator opened, they rushed to the bed.

- He looks so weak… -

- I have clothes at home, wait here. - Sans said, before taking another “short cut” as he stood behind the two females, so he couldn’t be seen.

- A-And I have water!!…. I can’t offer anything else… -

- It’s alright… Alphys start bringing the water. -

Toriel said, sitting next to the bed, as the silence lingered in the room. She looked at the suffering face of Wave as he slept, and sighed.

- Poor child… you went through a lot of trouble, haven’t you… and poor Papyrus as well.. he seemed like a nice monster.. -

As Alphys came with the water, she changed the cloth on Wave’s forehead, making it cool again.

Another ring to the door, and this time, it was Undyne who just toppled in with a pot in her hands, shouting.

- I HAVE THE SOUP FOR THE KID!!! -

- P-Perfect!! Thanks, Undyne! Come with me! -

Toriel was still sitting next to Wave’s bed when she came, and approached her.

- This is for the kid… some soup… -

- Thank you.. he needs it. Alphys, please bring me to the kitchen. - The goat lady got up, making her way following Alphys after getting a look inside the pot.

- Can you get me a pot of water, please? - Toriel asked, once she was there, and took from Undyne’s pot a potato, carrots, a piece of cabbage, everything whole. Undyne didn’t cut nothing, so she had to do it. Alphys shortly after came with the pot, and placed it on the small cucinette, lighting under it, as Toriel added the freshly chopped veggies.

- Why is she doing that anyway? - Undyne scrunched her nose, disapproving.

- I-I think she knows what she’s doing… -

Undyne shrugged, a bit reluctant, and once she saw Toriel turning off the fire, she went to Wave.

- Ok kiddo, it’s time to wake up.. - she called, grabbing his shoulders, and  shaking him fiercely - Ehi, WAKE UP PUNK!! –

- U-UNDYNE!!! - Alphys called, in a panic, as Toriel came in with a dish of steaming soup.

- What? He is up!! - she grinned, as Wave mumbled confused.

- Awake? A-where? -

- There, there… try eating this, ok ? - said Toriel with a kind smile, approaching the bed.

- Oh, ok!! - said Wave, and he started eating.

As soon as he was done, Toriel took the dish away, petting his head gently with a smile.

- You’re still warm, you need to rest. -

- But I’m fine – replied Wave, with an oblivious stare

- No, you have to rest – repeated Toriel, autorithy rising in her tone.

- But... -

- Don’t say but to me. Now, please lay down.. -

Wave shrugged, as he obeyed.

- ..and close your eyes. -

Wave shut them real tight. Toriel smiled, and slowly got away, getting to Alphys and Undyne and gesturing them to go out. As their backs were turned, Sans appeared, placing some blankets on the bed, and spare clothes on a chair.

- Thank you, old lad… Toriel. - said the skeleton, hand in pocket as he approached the small group. She nodded.

- Don’t worry. For a friend like you, this and more. -

- We have to talk about Wave, Asgore has to meet it. - interrupted Undyne

- Asgore is NOT going to see him now. - said Toriel in an angry way.

- Asgore is going to free us, he NEEDS to see it! - Undyne replied, eyebrows furrowed.

- He is going to free us, yes, but at what cost? The life of seven humans? We already have the blood of six children on our hands! -

- The humans caged us down here, it doesn’t matter! - Undyne said, clenching her fists

- It does matter! You think it’s better to start another war? You’d really take the life of this child to free us? And after that, what? We’re going to kill every human we cross path with? We’re going to claim the surface as ours? - Toriel argued, harshly – Where to we draw the line! And why is it so simple for you to acknowledge killing a being who did nothing wrong!! -

- ...!! -

Undyne’s body stiffened, as she lowered her head, darting her eyes straight to the floor. Sans was just listening with a blank expression, as Alphys glanced panicky at the two women.

- Ok, ok… calm down, please… Wave’s soul isn’t human, so it’s useless anyway… Asgore won’t do anything to him.. ok? -

Toriel started to walk towards the elevator, followed by Sans, as Undyne slid down on the floor, back to the wall. Alphys looked at her concerned, kneeling down next to her.

As they were close to the elevator, Sans stopped short.

- Toriel, I have to talk to Wave for a second… -

- He needs to rest, Sans.. - said the goat lady, slightly turning towards him.

- I know, but I can’t wait. -

Toriel simply nodded, and went into the elevator. Sans, instead, returned back to the room, passing in front of Alphys and Undyne, and stopping next to the bed, whispering in a low voice.

- Hey pal.. are you still awake? -

- Yep. - said Wave, still pretending to sleep.

- You can open your eyes… Toriel isn’t here. -

- Yay!! -

- You seem happy… and much better than before. - smirked Sans – Listen we should talk.. -

- Yes we do. - said Wave, as he sat up, with an unexplicable serious expression. Sans stared at him with a weird look.

- What’s up? I’m not going to scold you. -

Wave shook his head.

- No, it’s not that. I don’t know how to explain it, but.. I have the feeling something bad is going to happen. Something real bad… I don’t know how to explain it. - he snapped his attention suddenly to Sans – If someone seems strange, you have to run away. - He said, grabbing Sans by the hoodie – Promise me! -

- I don’t…? - muttered Sans, puzzled.

- Promise me! - repeated Wave, alarmed. Sans rose his hands, nodding.

- OK, I will run away if I see someone acting strange… happy? -

- Yes. Tell the others, too. - nodded Wave, letting go of him.

Sans stared at the kid a bit longer, then let out a sigh.

- Now.. you should rest. You still seem shocked about what happened. Now get back down and close your eyes, Toriel may come to check on you. -

Wave nodded and did as he said, and Sans left the room after a few minutes. Returned upstairs, he saw Toriel, Undyne and Alphys still there, as if waiting for him.

- ….what is going on, now? - he questioned.

- I need to tell you guys what happened last night… - spoke Alphys, troubled

MASTERPOST!. THIS AMAZING SCRIPT IS FIXED FROM @nephdetermined BEST COLLABORATOR EVER UWU draw from @blobtheartist

[yellowninjaleopard]

Glitchhope chapter three: when worlds collide.

Sans eyes shot open with a blue flare and a sharp gasp, sitting up he looked around the small room. "I need some kechup" said sans to himself, getting off the bed and walking up the stairs. As he entered the kitchen he heard frisks voice along with two others, curious he went upstairs to investigate. "Ok, how do we do this?" Said Frisk as he slammed his hands on the small table. Chara snapped his fingers and said "assys our brother! We've just gotta remind him of how much he means to us! We can use the lockets!" Frisk then puts his arms over both heathers and chara's shoulders. "So the plans set! Me and chara go after asriel while heather fights Betty!" Said frisk. "Problem solved. Team determination does it again!!" Said chara raising his fist in the air. Frisk and heather laughed. Heathers soul suddenly turned blue as she was slammed against the wall, frisk and chara looked to see sans with an angry look on his face. "Sans stop!!" "Yeah! let her go you comedian trash!" Sans just growled. "No! She's a fear soul! I'm killing her!" Heather's world came to a stop at that sentence, one she has heard many times before. 'kill her!' [*no...] 'demon!' 'murderer!' [*stop it...Please..] 'freak!' 'monster!' 'fear soul!' [*I'm not her...] 'go die you demon!!' [*I'm sorry....] chara and frisk tackled sans to the floor just as the front door opened. "SANS?!" Said papyrus as he ran up the stairs. "Papyrus?! Dad?!" Sans power dropped heather as he turned around. Frisk and chara ran to heather's aid, Lulu began to fly around and panic. After an explanation and a serious scolding from toriel, sans was told to apologize to heather, he felt very bad about treating her the way he did, when he opened the door to her room, heather was nowhere to be found, sans ran downstairs and told everyone. "We need to find her." Said Gaster. Meanwhile. In a nearby playground, heather was sitting on the swingset, Lulu flew in front of her. "Are you ok? You look like your gonna cry.." said Lulu in a concerned voice. Heather lifted her head up and looked at Lulu before showing her soul, which was now light grey with a dark grey outline, along with a few cracks. Lulu felt a twang of sadness shoot through her blob like form, wrapping her tail around heather's wrist, she nuzzled heather's face. "I'm so sorry chick, i couldn't protect you.." said Lulu, heather smiled at the nickname and closed her eyes. The two sat like that for a moment until a voice could be heard. "Greetings." Heather opened her eyes to see a girl and a goat monster. [*Oh, hello. I'm guessing by those eyes...You're bete nior?] Betty smiled and said "lucky guess" Betty paused when she saw heather's broken soul, knowing she couldn't take it because it would serve of no use to her. Curiousity got the best of her. [*As you can see...My soul is useless, so i don't see why you'd want it but...We could just talk i guess?] Betty thought for a moment before separating from akumu and sitting on the swing next to heather. Akumu flew next to Lulu. "You have one too? What's her name?" Asked Betty. [*Alulia, or Lulu for short.] "Alulia...That is a very pretty name." Lulu blushed at that comment and said. "Quite the charmer aren't you dolly?" Betty yelled at Lulu's voice. "She can talk?! Aww, mine can't!" Said Betty while pouting, kumu looked at Betty angrily. Heather chuckled. [*So...Why are you here? What's your pourpose?] Betty looked at heather before replying. "To make sure humans and monsters never live in peace..Why?" Heather looked at Betty. [*Well, what happens if you succeed, witch you probably will considering the poletics around here, but what'll happen to you then? When your goal is complete? Will you fade? Die? Or just cease to exist? You haven't even thought about it have you?] "Well, I'll just..." 'wait...What would happen to me..?' Betty paused and put her finger under her chin in thought. Akumu gave a thoughtful look as well. Heather reached into her backpack and took out two cans of cream soda, handing one to Betty, who took it hesitantly, heather opened hers with a hiss and drank it, looking over, she noticed Betty was looking at the can confusingly while kumu sniffed it cautiously. Heather sighed and signaled Lulu to open it for her. Lulu floated over to kumu and nuged him away, taking the can with her tail, growing tendrals and then opening it with her said tendrals and then handing it back to Betty. Betty took a small sip before drinking it happily. [*Y'know, your not too bad of a kid Betty. We should hang out more..] Betty thought for a moment, before nodding "i never got your name, what's your name?" Asked Betty. Heather smiled [*it's heather]. Heather then looked to asriel and said [*your family must miss you huh?] Asriel gave a thoughtful said look. Suddenly  voice could be heard, it was frisk, chara, papyrus, toriel and undyne "HEATHER?!" "oh heather please come out my child!" Betty stood up and remerged with kumu. "I'll see you later, heather." Said Betty before she and asriel flew off. Heather noticed some small white fragments on the floor, [*Lulu, reassemble these.] Lulu ate the pieces and opened her mouth again revealing a half empty monster soul. [*Keep healing it, use some hope.] Lulu nodded before closing her mouth again.heather decided to go home, walking towards the voices she stepped into toriels sight. "My child!" Toriel picked heather up and hugged her, heather hugged her back and soon fell asleep in toriels warm embrace. Toriel smiled softly before walking back to the others. "Mom! Is she ok?" Asked chara. Frisk then said. "Is she hurt?" Toriel answered "she is asleep my children, she is perfectly fine, let's go home so she can sleep in a bed.." when they arrive home, toriel placed heather on her bed and tucked her in, kissed her goodnight and walked out of the room. Sans was sitting on the couch when toriel approached him. Sans said "I'm sorry...I almost killed our last hope... Litterally.." toriel sighed. "It's not me you should be apologising to..But you'll have to wait until she wakes up.." sans sighed. "I know...I really need some kechup.." said sans.

To be continued...

{*The feeling of making a new friend with your opposite fills you with HOPE💗}

[sweater--child]

So, I finally read Ship of the Dead...

Now, I know. Its been out for months. Its been sitting on my shelf since it showed up on my doorstep way back in whatever month after waiting forever for it to be released after I preordered it. So trust me I know that I'm behind on the times. But I'm a college student and have the life drained out of me as I sit in my completely overpriced lectures and contemplate archaeological finds and cultural decelopment in western civilization.

And I saw you all attempting to be spoiler-y on my Blitzstone post. For shamed.

Edit: This is getting more attention than I thought it would. Please, add your own favorite moments and stuff! I love reading them and seeing what I missed.

But here are some of my favorite things from this particular book (SPOILERS!):

Fierrochase. Beyond just loving the ship, this is huge in ways of representation. I'm nonbinary myself, and lack of representation makes it so hard to go about my life and be accepted. Also dating is basically impossible? So this was a huge win for me personally. Also I feel like pansexual Magnus has just been accepted by the whole fandom as canon, which makes me little broken heart swell (I'm pansexual as well).

Fierrochase again! I just felt the transition into their romance was much more real than most books and media? Like it wasn't this "I kissed you and know we're going to be together forever and stuff". There was a confession and then honest thought and consideration? Also all the hinting and awkward crush moments were adorable and made the confession less jarring and prevented that awkward "oh no we need a romance lets just shove these 2 characters together with no pretext" that a lot of books and shows seem to fall into.

Magnus can know talk to animals, on top of glowing and healing and being a beautiful soul- confirmed Disney Princess. Now to get him a gown and tiara (men can wear dresses, fuck you).

Muslim representation. I'm not Muslim myself, nor do I know a whole lot of the culture (I'm an ignorant potato, I'm sorry) but from what I've heard Sam's character is pretty spot on and is really great. Specifically, I think the discussion about the treatment of Muslims in America, while short and brief (it is a kids book and Uncle Rick can only put so much in before it causes problems with publishing and stuff), was really important.

Mallory, TJ, and Halfborn's development. Mallory came to terms with her death (sort of) and embraced herself and her parentage. TJ showed all of us what it truly means not to forgive per se, but to move on, that fighting is only worthwhile when its for something bigger than yourself, and that optimism is never wasted. Halfborn coming to terms with the failings of his life (not returning to his life) and turning it into a purpose, a new way to keep going.

Alex. Alex gets her own little segment here because there are so many good moments with Alex. We finally got the source of a lot of Alex's will and independence with her Grandfather, along with Mexican culture representation. The real struggles of being queer. The loss of a friend. Building Pottery Barn (and refusing to designate a gender until they themselves could have a say). There's a lot- but what sticks with the me the most is that moment when he kisses Magnus at the end in the Hotel. The fact that he waited until he was a boy to me shows that Rick was making a point with this- it was one thing for Magnus to say Alex was the best thing that happened to him while she was a girl, but completely when he's a boy. It showed a real fear to Alex that she covers really well, and this moment addressed the very real fear of rejection that gender fluid, nonbinary, and trans* people face when it comes to dating.

Hearthstone. Baby boy breaks my heart. We get a lot of closure that I needed and really gave us a chance to see that Hearth is gonna be okay, that he can move on and be happy. He no longer carries the burden and is free.

Blitzstone? Okay, I know I've talked about this ship in the past, and I do still really love this ship, but I actually like that it was open to interpretation. Honestly, there isn't enough healthy male friendships in media. As long as my 2 boys are happy and healthy and alive, I'm not mad.

The flyting. Theres a trend I've noticed recently that I love and that's the departure from the typical brawny fighting male protagonists to mains who have an empathy and peacefulness about them. Primarily I think of Newt Scamender and Magnus Chase. Neither are fighters, and only do so when necessary. Newt is a caretaker and Magnus is a healer. Looking back on Percy Jackson, nearly everyone of his adventures was solved by fighting, which is not a bad thing and I'm in no way complaining. But I do have to praise uncle Rick for choosing to end this series the way he does- not only does he choose a nonviolent duel of words and wit (rap battle), he also veers Magnus from being insulting and cutting but instead Magnus literally wins by praising his family members. In the end, our hero didn't succeed through fighting ability and bravery, but instead because he realised that he couldn't ever really lose in life when he has these people with him, come Ragnarok or eternal existence as an undead hotel guest.

The Chase Mansion. Nuff said.

Big Banana

Magnus immediately assumes every goat he meets in Otis.

Alex's continual obsession with pink and green.

Expand-o-duck

Mango Cheese is awkward and dorky in every situation and I agree.

Almost freezing to death.

Heavenly dates (I actually hate dates)

Percy praising Annabeth and gushing about his baby sister

Guava juice

Continued love for Falafel (never had it, but seems great)

Cherry Soda insanity resulting in ceramic Voltron versus mud monster showdown

Pop culture references and Magnus fearing his Tardis Banana

Chocolate tug of war

Being prepared for Ragnarok with organized parking and golf carts

Magnus doesn't know how to date and I agree

Amir is constantly astounded by how awesome his Fiancee is

Actual discussion of grief and loss

Dragon Heart grants Disney Princess powers to anyone savage enough to eat it

Hearthstone is a better Thunder God than the Thunder God Thor

Daddy Frey

Butchering all the Norse namesand pretending like I remember who half of them are

Green Hair Meal

Billionare fish

Blood, Spit, and Honey

Blitzen yelling at a dragon because his friend is sad

Walnut

There's more but I'll leave it here for now

[astrofireworks]

new year’s day

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

(1 Jan 2018)

From where he is on the floor, Jinjin can see dust motes floating on a ray of sunshine. It’s almost peaceful, with MJ’s head pillowed on his chest and Sanha draped a distance away over an armchair, the only interruption being soft snores from Rocky somewhere on the sofa behind him. The curtains are pulled closed, leaving only a crack to allow daylight in.

He isn’t sure at what point last night they all clocked out – the last thing he remembers is MJ deciding to take a nap some time past three in the morning, and him pulling a sleepy MJ into his embrace while the other four, huddled around a Monopoly board with drinks in their hands, laugh at their oldest. He remembers tugging MJ closer to him and burying his nose into MJ’s hair; he remembers telling a drowsy MJ to sleep and pressing a kiss to his forehead and reassuring Eunwoo that no, he’s fine with being on the floor even though Eunwoo’s offering his own bed and even though he knows his back will kill him when he wakes up.

There is a small noise from the kitchen and Jinjin smiles. Trust Eunwoo to be the one to wake up first to clean up the drinks from last night. There are still green and pink pieces of monopoly money scattered around the floor, traces of the kids giving the game up one by one. Jinjin wonders who won.

He sees Eunwoo step out of the kitchen, socked feet quiet against the hardwood floor as he pads into the living room.

“You’re up?” Eunwoo mouths.

Jinjin smiles in response. “Where’s Bin?”

There is a light blush across Eunwoo’s cheeks as he answers, “Our room.” He catches Eunwoo sliding into a smile the moment he says ‘our’, and feels his heart warm in response. He will be forever grateful that Bin finally took his head out of his ass to confess his feelings to Eunwoo – he wasn’t sure how many more secret looks and longing sighs he could have taken.

He watches Eunwoo pick up the stray pieces of Monopoly money, strange as it looks through horizontal mode from his position lying on the floor. “Eunwoo,” he whispers.

Eunwoo pauses in his cleaning and looks up, long fingers still curled around pink papers.

“Where are the polaroids from last night?”

Eunwoo’s eyes curve into a smile, and he reaches over to the coffee table to gather up the photos to hand to Jinjin.

Jinjin grins, the arm not curled around MJ reaching out to receive the polaroids. They’re beautiful, he thinks.

He shuffles through them one-handedly. There’s one of Sanha peeking from behind his hot chocolate mug, and another of him pretending to chug from an unopened soda bottle. There’s one of Rocky trying to bite Bin’s shoulder and Bin leaning away – Jinjin feels like if he focuses hard enough, he might just be able to hear Bin’s laughter.

There’s one of Rocky holding up a thick wad of monopoly money, looking far off into the distance with a haughty expression, and Jinjin can barely hold back a snort. There’s one of Eunwoo doing the exact same thing, haughty expression and all, except with only a singular note between his fingers and Jinjin can’t help but let out a quiet laugh. Now he knows who won.

MJ shifts in his arms, no doubt jostled by the laugh, and Jinjin runs his fingers through MJ’s hair to soothe him before picking up the next polaroids.

There’s one of him trying to stuff an entire sandwich in his mouth, with Sanha cheering on one side and Bin giving him a judgemental look on the other. There’s one of MJ attempting the same thing, with himself and Sanha laughing hard in the far corner. There’s one of Bin, cheeks already stuffed full and another sandwich in his hand, leaning against a slightly perturbed Eunwoo.

There’s one of Bin pressing a kiss to Eunwoo’s cheek, with Eunwoo’s face mid-laugh and dim lighting making it such that their faces are the only two visible things in frame. They are so, so in love it makes Jinjin’s heart swell.

And then there’s one of MJ, with his lovely cheeks crinkled up in his carefree smile and his messy bangs falling over bright eyes. Jinjin stares at it for a while – it isn’t often that you capture something this beautiful and get to keep with you forever.

There is a shift on Jinjin’s chest, and he looks down just in time to see MJ bury his nose into his chest. There is a beat, and MJ looks up, eyes still half-closed.  

“Morning, sweetheart,” Jinjin whispers.

MJ smiles blearily, fists coming up to rub the sleep away. “What’re you looking at?”

Jinjin hands him the polaroid he was looking at, and MJ snorts, tossing it a distance away.

Jinjin makes an indignant sound, “What did you do that for? That was my favourite one – “

“There’s no point looking at a photo when you have the real deal right here,” MJ sounds back, smile evident in a voice still slightly gravelly from sleep, and Jinjin can’t stop the laughter bubbling up from his chest.

He’s right though, Jinjin thinks. He brushes MJ’s bangs away from his eyes and presses a good morning kiss to his forehead.

“I love you.”

I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

(1 Jan 2019)

Bin has barely time to wonder why his bed is so cold when there is a dip in the mattress, and an arm snakes around his waist.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” A pair of lips press against the back of his neck.

Bin smiles and turns to face Eunwoo. “You weren’t here when I woke up.”

“I went to clean up the stuff in the living room before everyone else wakes up. Don’t want anyone crashing into bottles.”

Eunwoo’s eyes are sparkling and Bin feels the warmth of the smile in Eunwoo’s voice all the way down to his toes. “Are the two old men in your old room?”

Eunwoo snorts and presses a kiss to Bin’s nose. “Don’t let them hear you call you old men; MJ won’t come over anymore.”

“They always fall asleep before anyone else does, anyway. We can have New Year’s parties over at their place instead then, so they can sleep in their own bed.”

“Sanha lost the bet last night, remember? He’s already hosting 2020’s.”

Bin laughs, and tucks himself into Eunwoo’s arms. There is a sort of comforting thrill in the confidence with which Eunwoo announces the fact, a confidence in their friend group staying best friends and ringing in the next new year together. There is a moment of silence, with Bin’s head on Eunwoo’s heart and Bin feeling Eunwoo’s chest rise and fall with each breath.

Eunwoo tightens his hold on Bin and watches Bin’s eyelashes as he blinks drowsily. He’s beautiful, Eunwoo thinks, with his soft cheeks pressed against Eunwoo’s chest and his lips pushed out in a slight pout. How lucky he is to have this sight to wake up to, every day.

“We never got our midnight kiss this year,” Eunwoo says, instead. “We were too busy playing charades.”

Bin looks up and laughs. He stretches, all languid lines and soft muscles, before flipping over and propping himself up on his forearms. He leans over to press a gentle kiss to Eunwoo’s lips.

Eunwoo savours the soft warmth of Bin’s lips against his own, morning breath and all, before Bin pulls away.

“There’s no point in having kisses at midnight on New Year’s only,” Bin murmurs against his lips, “when we can have kisses all year round.”

Eunwoo laughs, then pulls himself out of bed. “You’re right. Now I gotta go clean up the rest of the room before the old men and the kids wake up.”

Bin’s response of, “Don’t let them hear that!” is met with a soft laugh as Eunwoo pads out of the room.

Bin yawns and appreciates the view of Eunwoo’s back for a moment before hauling his ass out of bed too. If Eunwoo’s set on clearing the apartment before the boys crashed in their living room wake up, he might as well help.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

(1 Jan 2020)

Sanha isn’t sure how they got themselves into this tangle, but he’s learnt to never question his best friends.

Especially when they’re in a literal tangle on the Twister mat. Rocky is trapped somewhere underneath Bin and he’s laughing breathlessly and Jinjin’s yelling about someone’s elbow being in his face. Eunwoo’s face is dangerously close to MJ’s and Sanha can only laugh at how ridiculous this entire situation looks from where he’s perched on the sofa.

He grabs his polaroid camera and calls out to the giggling heap, “Look up, y’all!”

Rocky is the only one vaguely facing in his direction and he gives Sanha a bright smile just as Sanha presses his finger on the shutter. A whir of the camera later, the polaroid has come out perfectly and what used to be five men playing Twister has devolved into a full out tickle fight with Rocky screaming at Sanha for backup.

Their laughs are bright and way too loud for two in the morning, but Sanha can somehow pick out each individual laugh – MJ’s loud cackling, Rocky’s animated yelps, Bin’s breathy laughter, Eunwoo’s squeaky inhales and Jinjin’s low chuckling. Sanha’s heart is warm and full and he’s standing in the middle of his living room with his reindeer onesie with his best friends in a screaming mess on the floor, but honestly? He would give anything to pause time and keep this moment forever.

He snaps another polaroid and Rocky screeches louder for Sanha to come and save him from the rest of the boys.

Sanha sets down his camera, and with a high-pitched war cry, delves into the mess.

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you.

(31 Dec 2020)

Rocky sets down the wine bottle in his hand and lets out a low whistle. MJ and Jinjin have managed to decorate their new apartment pretty well, despite their bickering about the colour scheme. Their living room is painted a homey sunshine yellow and there are photographs of multiple sizes in frames above the sofa, arranged so that they cover nearly the entire wall.

There are throw pillows with covers that have cheesy sayings on them, and one pillow with a badly patterned “Goat!”. Rocky isn’t sure if he wants to know the back story behind it, but knowing MJ, it probably is hilarious.

Bin is already sprawled on the sofa, head hanging off one arm and talking to Sanha upside down. There is some unidentifiable piano music coming from the phone abandoned beside Bin and Sanha’s shuffling through a stack of what seems like playing cards and threatening to throw one at Bin’s head; Rocky has to stifle a laugh.

Eunwoo pops his head out of MJ’s kitchen and asks Rocky for help in carrying the food into the living room. Rocky complies.

A disaster.

There is flour all over the table and the sink is overflowing with soap suds and Rocky’s pretty sure the oven isn’t supposed to be smoking. Jinjin has a streak of chocolate across his cheek and a tray of what looks like charcoal sticks in front of him. The only edible food seems to be the ones in the Tupperware Eunwoo’s brought over from his own apartment.

But Jinjin and MJ are laughing and Eunwoo is shaking his head fondly and Rocky can’t help but smile because this is them, this is the six of them in a nutshell – a mess, but a beautiful and happy mess, and Rocky couldn’t feel more warm.

Jinjin waves him towards the food and turns around to toss the coal bricks into the trash. “Utensils are in the second drawer on the left. Should we forgo plates this year too?”

“We never use plates. Who needs plates when you have your rice bowls?” Eunwoo peels back a Tupperware cover and peers into it. “This one’s curry.”

Rocky clicks open another Tupperware container and wrinkles his nose, “This one’s pickled cucumbers.”

“Just because you don’t like cucumbers doesn’t mean the rest of us won’t eat it,” Jinjin says sensibly, then shoves three more Tupperwares into Rocky’s hands. “Bring these out, will you?”

Rocky heads out to the living room to set down the food, topmost Tupperware nearly tumbling onto the coffee table.

Bin perks up at the sight of food, and swings himself into a sitting position. “Are we eating yet?”

As the other three bring more food to the living room, Rocky watches Sanha clear his playing cards from the table. He squints. Those aren’t playing cards.

He picks one up, and it’s a polaroid of them, four years ago. Eunwoo is holding the camera and the five of them are piled up behind him, Sanha just making it into the top right corner of the polaroid. They are all squinting in the sunlight, and Jinjin’s smile is nearly blinding.

MJ sets down another stack of Tupperwares and picks up a polaroid from the stack in Sanha’s hands. “Oooh, I remember this.” It’s one of the six of them huddling on the beach in their winter coats, with Eunwoo screaming about how cold it was and Jinjin hollering at whoever it was holding the camera to take it quickly, before they all froze to death.

There’s one of Eunwoo in a suit, tossing autumn leaves into the air, laugh nearly audible. There’s one of Rocky in a striped turtle neck and red blazer, standing in front of some random rich man’s house, holding a rose from their rose bush in front of his face. There’s one of Sanha dead asleep on a chair, mouth open, and Bin squatting down next to him and pretending to poke his face.

There’s one of all six of them in suits at Sanha’s brother’s wedding. Sanha’s beaming at the camera like there’s no tomorrow, happiness palpable even two years after the fact and Rocky can’t help but smile.

Eunwoo sits down next to Rocky, setting down all the Tupperwares in his arms. He peers over Rocky’s shoulder at the polaroids in Rocky’s hands. “Why’d you bring these, Sanha?”

“I thought it’d be nice for MJ and Jinjin to string them up on a wall or something. I have so many of them from over the years we might as well start turning them into decoration; I already have about forty of them up on my wall, remember?”

Eunwoo hums in agreement, shuffling through some of the polaroids. He says something about making sure each row has a balance of portrait and landscape polaroids, but his voice fades into the background as Rocky squints hard at Sanha.

Rocky’s pretty sure he’s seen Sanha’s wall before, but Sanha’s honestly been over to his place more than he’s ever been to Sanha’s. In fact, he thinks, all the memories he’s had with Sanha – Sanha screaming over Mario Kart, Sanha finishing all the ice cream in Rocky’s fridge, Sanha doodling whiskers on his face in Sharpie when Rocky fell asleep on the sofa, Sanha rummaging through Rocky’s drawers for something large enough to function as pyjamas, Sanha falling asleep on Rocky’s lap – have all been in his apartment.

He looks back up at Sanha, who’s staring at him expectantly, playful frustration a thin mask over palpable disappointment. “Do you not remember my wall?”

“Um,” Rocky says instead, and pulls out a copy of his apartment key from his pocket, “Move in with me?”

hello happy end-2017, may 2018 be better for the world and for astro and for you!!! 

[jesseneufeld]

Our Top Global Stories Of 2020 Not About The Pandemic

Beyoncé's Africa video, Inuit advice on raising kids without yelling and ... locusts! Here's the surprising mix of stories Goats and Soda readers loved in 2020 that have nothing to do with COVID-19.

(Image credit: George Steinmetz)

Our Top Global Stories Of 2020 Not About The Pandemic published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/