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ddoxhan · 8 months ago

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all I wanna do

like a rain shower in midsummer, I need you cuz all I wanna do is be with you

word count : 5.3k words

genre : fluff revolving around two goofballs; scriptwriter! ningning x office worker! reader; experiencing a disastrous date won't stop you from planning the best date for the love of your life

t/w : none :)

a/n : a light-hearted, playful date with ms ning yizhuo! imagine her laughters throughout the entire thing and just seeing how happy she is being with you 🤍 I love this baby so much :') anyways enjoy !!

outfit? check. water bottles? check. portable fan? check. power bank? check. umbrella? check. snacks for your pretty girlfriend? check. after that disastrous date with yizhuo last time, you were traumatized hence the over-the-board preparation for today's date with her. you had planned a lot of events for the day, hoping that she would be surprised with how you made sure things were to go according to plan. her reactions are just the cutest and no one can tell you otherwise.

regardless of whether it was going to rain, or if you lose her in a crowd as her phone dies, or if she gets incredibly hungry that she's in the mood to murder you. yes, that was how the entire date went the last time when you two headed for a mini concert in the outskirts. just thinking about it again sent chills down your spine. never again, you thought.

as you take a step out of your apartment, that annoying ringtone informed you of who the caller was.

"yeah, babe?"

'on the way? or you just woke up and getting ready to throw on just anything?'

"missy, I'm slaying my fit of the year. and yes, I'm on my way. maybe in another thirty minutes?"

'okay, missy. sounds good to me, see you then babe!'

"love you."

'love you too!'

her voice got softer, as usual walking away from her phone to do her own things. she usually lets you end the call, either you'd end it while chuckling at her antics or listening a little longer to hear her humming a song that's on her 36th spotify playlist.

the sun was shining, the clouds were fluffy, and the bus just passed by the stop before heading for yours. was it more than enough time for you to make it? sure, but, that was if you ran for it. you were definitely not waiting for the next one that was going to be in the next 15 minutes.

the run wasn't too bad, giving you a chance to try out your new pair of sneakers. definitely not made for running, but they were sure looking amazing with your outfit. yizhuo had gotten them for you when you had finished that torturing physics paper one semester ago but you couldn't get yourself to wear them. she insisted that you wore it after she saw them in a new display box you got for it when she slept over after spending hours playing animal crossing with you.

'jagi, didn't I get those for you?'

'yep.'

'wear them when we go on a date next week.'

'but-'

'no buts.'

so that was how you were striding in these slides. they made you a little taller, which was the perfect height to pull yizhuo into a hug and rub your head on her hair. she hated those the most, but you love the scent of her vanilla shampoo, calming and soothing. as you stared out the bus window from your seat, your lips naturally curled into a smile as you reminisced those times when you and her took the bus home during your uni days.

when you had shared social law with her, you always took the bus with her after classes at the end of the day. you had known that she lived a little further from campus instead of the dorms and you happened to also take the same bus line as she did. acquaintances bloomed into friends, and you took your friendship with her to the next stage when you confessed that you saw her as more than a friend. you were the happiest girl alive when she said that she felt the same too.

when you had graduated with your psychology degree and her with her communication degree, that was when you found out that yizhuo had not lived three bus stops away from yours. and that was also when she had found out that you lived two bus stops before where she supposedly lived. in summary, you were two idiots thinking that you guys were so smart for trying to fool each other.

she did indeed live in the campus dorm, but just got down the stop where her friend lived at, in a way using her as an excuse to spend more time with you. you on the other hand, did similarly to spend more time with her by pretending that you got off at the next stop after hers. for four months straight, you had took a whole trip around the neighbourhood each time you had social law.

till this day, this was still something that you and her would bring up and laugh about at how stupid you two were. but you didn't complain, you were stupid in love with her.

a ring on yizhuo's doorbell was enough to make her frown from finishing her favourite shampoo to smiling as it indicated that her huggable human was by the door. when she swung the door open, she was surprised to find you with a bouquet of crocheted pink tulips and a puffy tote bag. first, you hated tote bags because you were afraid of forgetting them on your seat. second, what occasion was it for the flowers?

"hello, girlfriend."

"hello to you too. what's with the flowers?"

a toothy grin was all it took to convince that it wasn't a special occasion that she knew, but rather one that you wanted to celebrate because, you just wanted to.

"it's 520 days since we've started dating. so yeah, happy 520!"

"and here I thought that I had forgotten our anniversary or something."

"well, it's still something to celebrate about."

if yizhuo had her clumsy and quirky antics, you had your puppy-like and unpredictable antics. it wasn't once or twice that you had showed up to her front door with tulips or roses, be it real or fake, or crocheted. or that one time you had a spur in the moment and made her beef wellington for lunch. you didn't even like cooking that much.

'I saw this recipe and I thought you would like it a lot!' as she quotes from you.

but none of that can stop her from loving you more as each day went by. the good morning and good night texts were a must and meeting up at least once every day was the base, whether it be face-to-face or through facetime. as much as she could feel her fatigue from her day fade away when she saw that smile of yours, so did you when you heard that laughter of hers when you crack a joke.

"thank you, babe. I like it a lot."

she tiptoed to press a little peck on your cheek, which led to that big ass grin on your face and your tail would have wagged hard like a helicopter, if you had one. seeing your usual reaction, yizhuo went back to her room to proceed getting ready for the day. oh, did you mention that she looks amazing even when she had her hair up in a messy bun, and the most worn out, comfortable home clothes? yeah, now you know.

as you took your spot on the couch, it didn't take her longer than 20 minutes to be in the cutest outfit for your anticipated outing. the opening of her bedroom door prompted you to stand by the shoe rack and put your shoes on.

"ready?"

"mhm."

after you leaving her place, she naturally headed over to the bus stop while you stepped further from it, making her confused at the way you had a mischievous smile on your face. you walked over to her and dragged her along to the nearest car rental shop, rendering her further confusion.

leaving her at the entrance for a bit, you returned while twirling a shiny key with a far too recognizable logo printed on it,

"I knew we were going to the aquarium, but you didn't mention anything about driving there. when did you even have a driver's license?"

"well, surprise."

driving wasn't a practical option since you lived four bus stops away from your now alma mater. public transportation was a pain in the ass during before and after work peak hours but that was more worth than paying for the parking fee. that included having not told yizhuo about your driving capabilities.

your campus was practically in the middle of the city where most necessities were within public transportation reach. it didn't really matter if you had a car or not cause that was how convenient travelling for stuff was. if there was a need for a car, you would just ask minjeong for hers since she drives. even now, you could get to your job without a car, and you only head to office 3 days a week.

"and you rented a BMW?"

"yes?"

the look on her face darkened further as she couldn't comprehend your spending tendencies. you weren't a thrifty douchebag, so this was really a firsthand experience of you being willing to spend so much when there were cheaper options.

"please tell me you're joking. this could easily cost you half of your monthly salary for a day."

"okay okay, yes, I'm joking."

"thank god."

" but I did buy a kawasaki though."

yizhuo's jaw could not drop further as you said those seven words. she couldn't even form words, let alone sentences.

"wha- huh- you- eh?"

"come on, I got a second hand one so it's a lot cheaper. and it was a snatch with its low mileage."

the whole ride to the aquarium was just her bombarding you with questions on why you decided to get a motorcycle, when did you get your driver's license and a whole lot more. the entire ride there. though you weren't annoyed, you found it adorable that she wanted to know more. you being down bad was an understatement, you were just so in love with her that you don't see any chance of you getting back from being down bad.

you sure didn't need a second hand kawasaki to get to work considering the many reasons that would have stopped you from getting it. but there was one extremely big reason to get it that surpass every other. it was yizhuo. at the end of every day where you would drop by her place to spend time together, she would tell you about the things she encountered on the way home on the train, be it good or bad.

you were content with listening to how she would coo at the children and babies she saw, but grimaced at some things she would witness that you don't even want to reiterate. just then you thought, maybe you should get a vehicle to fetch yizhuo after work. as a scriptwriter, the expectation to get things done by her deadlines were brutal, from your nine-to-five job perspective. at times, she would finish past dinner hours and leave the broadcasting station with slumping shoulders while you waited for her at a nearby cafe to have dinner together after she clocks out. it always made a part of your heart ache a little when she drapes her body over you, with her basking in your scent.

she had always reassured you that she would feel her energy pick up when she spots you at your usual spot waiting. and even more so when she hugs you, as if you were her human energizer. but to imagine the days that you wouldn't be there, it was the right decision to get a vehicle for her to relax in after work on the way home. regardless of whether it was this nice BMW or the kawasaki you got, you get to accompany her back home while she talks about her day at the broadcasting station.

to head home together after a long day and lay in her arms on the couch while watching a movie was always your dream. usually her housemates would be around and it wasn't that comfortable to have the whole living room to yourselves. you would either leave after dropping her off or you would spend some time in her room for a while since she would reason that you have work the next day. one day, you would get a house together with her and make that dream a reality. one day.

"for me? this nice ass bike because you wanted me to get home safe?"

"yep."

she looked at you in disbelief, worried that the cost of this damn bike would put a hole in your wallet while you had a sheepish smile knowing exactly what she had in mind.

"I know it sounds crazy but trust me, I've planned this for a long time."

"how long?"

"roughly 5 years."

as yizhuo mentally counted, she figured that that was when you were still freshmen back in university. although she was flattered by the fact that you fell for her since then, she couldn't help but feel bad. and you knew she would from the way her smile fell a little, just enough for you to be able to tell.

"don't feel bad babe. I did say it's for you, but it's also for me, for us. it's a lot better than having to squeeze into the train and having body odour rubbed all over my face."

the joke managed to lift her mood as she giggles at the way she could relate too. well, you could say that this kawasaki was a dream motorcycle that you've had your eye on for some time now too. her hand reached over to yours on the gear stick, her eyes looking into yours, feeling that she was the luckiest girlfriend on earth.

"you're welcome, and let's go see those penguins, shall we?"

"welcome to underwater haven, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! I will be your guide today, so make sure to remember how I look like. you wouldn't wanna get lost and bump into the polar bear."

the crowd laughed at the humor of the male guide, before following to enter into the aquarium for the day.

in one hand, was your professional camera to capture the beauty of the animals (as well as your girlfriend), and yizhuo's hand intertwined with yours in the other. although she was more fond of furry animals in the petting zoos, she absolutely loved the way your eyes would sparkle when you tell her about your favourite aquatic animals that even she had managed to remember by now. you looked like an excited child jumping around and she just wants to give you all the kisses that you deserved for being so cute.

"oh! that's the angelfish. isn't it such a nice shade of pastel blue? and the way they just look so pretty."

"yes yes, very pretty."

and her gaze was just fixated on your smile that hasn't fell ever since you stepped foot in here. she couldn't give a damn about all these fishes that looked the same to her. all it did was make her crave for some good sushi, but she shall not talk about that while you're here. maybe in the next few days, she should bring it up. for now, she would enjoy this aquarium date.

"did you have fun?"

"mhm. did you? weren't you bored a little halfway?"

"I mean yeah but when I look over to you, wow best day ever."

you shot yizhuo a glare before relaxing when you knew that she had eyes only for you.

"I love you too."

that sheepish smile on her face made you chuckle at the way you found it cute, realization for the nth time that you would never be able to win against her. be it her random rendezvous at odd hours or cheeky remarks like this.

"so where would lunch be, ms. 'I have a BMW now so we can go anywhere we want'?"

she's just not gonna let you breathe huh?

"well, it is a thursday today. so you know what that means."

"the bazaar!"

the first time she found out about the bazaar, she had always gone there either alone since her friend had clashing schedules or would resort to the cafeteria food which she disliked a little. after knowing you through social law, she deciced to persuade you to accompany her there.

'you mean be your chaperone?'

'I wouldn't put it that way, think of it that you're there as my food mate.'

it was a weekly food bazaar that happened at the city square, filled with all kinds of food from all around the world. yizhuo was always down to try anything that was edible, while you were just there to be with her as you didn't fancy trying new things.

'come on! try this, the vendor said it's glutinous rice cooked in a bamboo tube.'

'it looks questionable.'

but to be honest, it did taste good. while she had a habit of ordering a variety to try, she wouldn't hesitate to share it with her friends, encouraging them to head to the bazaar to try out too. when you looked back and thought about it, she was also helping out the local businesses that had a hard time. she tried to deny, giving you the reason that they had better food that whatever the cafeteria served. however, you would notice each time you stood by her while she talked to the vendors. the way her eyes fold into crescents, truly grateful that they were doing great.

as you spent more time with her throughout your days, you harbored feelings for her and they just grew out of control when you would malfunction from being around her. you were there once as an acquaintance, now you were back there again, as her girlfriend. wow, thinking about it made you feel overwhelmed.

"are you sure we're able to finish this?"

"if we can't, we could bring it over for minjeong."

"I'm pretty sure she would be too full from lunch with jimin. you know how those two are."

"well, I guess this is all for us!"

just watching yizhuo enjoy the food in front of her made you feel as if you had ate. if your girlfriend was happily full, then so were you. at some point, the vendors didn't change often, and they soon became permanent at the bazaar, being able to find a crowd of customers for themselves. you didn't remember how it happened, but when yizhuo would always recommend it to the people around her, you knew who it was because of.

"what? is there anything on my face?"

your gentle gaze had her rub the sides of her mouth, then her cheeks. full of food while she mumbles, it was just a sight too adorable. you succeeded at holding back your urge to squeeze her cheeks, or you would end up with a flick on your forehead.

"nothing, you just look really pretty."

"thank you, but I can't tell if you're being sarcastic cause I am stuffing my face full of food right now."

"nothing beats a happy girlfriend who loves her food. and it's cute."

extending a hand over to clear that sauce stain on the corner of her mouth, you looked so lovesick, it almost made the people at the table on the right gag. what did single people do to be punished like this?

you would only cut it out with the lovey dovey eyes when yizhuo made sure that you were eating enough unlike when you were in your final year. that final year research paper had you lose 5kg throughout the journey and you wish to not experience that ever again. sleep was an option and so was food. if it wasn't for her threatening to have your meals properly or she would not see you again, you would have probably fainted at least twice that year.

so now, you have a wonderful girlfriend and a stomach full of good food. the day was going spectacularly smooth without any problems. but you spoke too soon when the sun had set and night had came.

after the bazaar lunch, you were to drive to a restaurant by the beach that yizhuo had really wanted to try but didn't insist on going as it was far. since you had rented a car, it was only right to bring her there. before night would fall, it would have been perfect to enjoy the sunset by the time you would have arrived considering the journey.

that was until the car started to smoke on the front all of a sudden. pulling over to the side of the road, you had to call for help from the nearest car repair shop to send a tow truck. you weren't going to risk driving there despite it being a short distance, not with her in the car.

as the tow truck arrived along with another car, you thanked the foreman for offering to drive you two to your destination when he couldn't get you a spare car. nevertheless, you managed to reach just in time to sit by the beach to admire the sunset with yizhuo. that was before it got windy and droplets of rain turned into a downpour.

"why is it always like this whenever we decide to go out for dates?"

she was feeling a little down from the mishaps from the car to the downpour. to be frank, you were too, since you had hoped that the date ended perfectly since she had looked forward to it a lot. although she didn't verbally express her excitement, you could tell from the way she had already put together an outfit for the day a week before and marked the date on her calendar with a big red circle and hearts around it.

"babe, things happen. plus it was my fault that I didn't check the car properly before today."

"it's not your fault, like you said things happen. just why on our dates..."

you were half soaked from the rain even with an umbrella. as you sought shelter at nearby shop, yizhuo wasn't soaked as much because you had wrapped yourself over her to make sure she didn't. that also made her a little more upset as she was scared you would get sick because of her. on the brighter side, you were at a vintage shop where they had quite a collection of film cameras. you had to take the opportunity to get one from here before you left. but first, back to making your girlfriend feel better.

"hey hey, babe. look at me."

you placed your hands on her cheeks and made her face you, squishing them a little. around her colleagues, she was competent and very professional when dealing with the producers and directors at her workplace. but when she comes home and relaxes around you, she would turn into a small little kitten that needed her favourite human pillow. just like how you had her pouting and leaning into your hands.

"things don't have to always go as planned. it's best if it did, but now that it didn't. we're here at this vintage shop and it looks like there's a lot of stuff to explore around here."

"sure we missed the sunset for a little, but we stumbled upon this place."

and with that, your girlfriend was back to her normal self.

"okay, but promise me you're not going to get too many things. nothing else is going to fit that glass case."

"yes, ma'am."

giving her a tiny salute and a cheeky smile, it was another mission success of making the best out of a (sorta) ruined date.

"I did mention not to get too many things, but you did get something that was very expensive."

"but it does take really good film pictures. plus, a good camera to fit the most beautiful model in the world."

yizhuo scoffed at the compliment but couldn't help but blush a little. thankfully, the downpour had come to a stop, only a small drizzle remained.

as you headed towards the restaurant that you had made reservation for, you couldn't help but feel super lucky at that moment as the sky was still lit and the ambience of the waves hitting the shore, as well as the drizzle adding its touch. along with the beautiful sight of her while her hair is blown by the wind, that gorgeous smile making you fall for her all over again.

arriving there, you were brought to your reserved table before ordering whatever she wanted on the menu. the wait wasn't too long, which was good as it was quite eventful before this meal. as you indulged in the local delicacies, you couldn't help asking yizhuo if she was in for some alcohol. and knowing her, she wouldn't pass on the offer.

you only drank a little as you would still need to drive back, as the foreman had mentioned that it wouldn't take till the next day to fix the car. just as you wrapped up your fulfilling meal, your phone rang, indicating the caller to be the foreman.

"yes, mr. lee. is the car done?"

"I'm very sorry miss, but I've called to inform you that we've come across another problem from the engine as we looked into it earlier. we would need another day for it as we are closing soon."

"ohh... umm... alright then. we'll look around for somewhere to stay for the time being. thank you very much."

hearing how you would need to look for somewhere to stay and seeing that apologetic smile plastered on your lips, yizhuo just knew that the plans for the day had changed for third time.

"we need to look for a motel?"

"hey! you don't need to put it that way."

the ends of your ears started burning a little as you hid your face in your hands, trying to lower the rising temperature of your cheeks. her word choice had caught you very off guard while she remained calm.

"it is what it is. plus, we could get separate rooms so why so shy?"

she was definitely having a great time teasing you.

you managed to find a decent place after asking the locals. but being there on the weekends only meant that there was no such things as vacancy. however, you still decided to shoot your shot, praying for two rooms.

"we've got only one room left, with a single bed."

and you definitely didn't expect that shot to miss entirely. it was better than no rooms at all, and it meant using the same room as yizhuo. you had to repeat that to yourself several times to fully register what you had heard. number 1, you had not slept over at her place before as you didn't want her housemates to feel uncomfortable with your unfamiliar presence. number 2, it would only be you and her in a room. nothing would probably happen, given that you would be sleeping on the couch.

"where are you going?"

"to sleep...?"

drying your hair with the provided towel, you glanced over to your girlfriend who already dried her hair and changed into a set of pajamas that you had got from a nearby shop. you were in a similar one with a different color, reminding you too much of what married couples would usually where in dramas. 'enough!', you thought.

as much as you wanted to wake the next morning in your arms, you held yourself back as it might make her uneasy. what if she's not used to sharing the bed with someone? what if she thinks it would be hot? what if you snore? what if―

before you could complete all the possible scenarios from overthinking, yizhuo stretched out her arms, telling you to hug her. and so you did. as you fell for her temptation, she pulled you in closer to make you fall onto the bed. as she leaned over to place her lips on yours, your brain short-circuited with too many things happening at once. pulling away, all she saw was a shocked puppy speechless and thoughtless.

"you good?"

"huh?"

"were you going to sleep on the couch?"

"yeah..."

it was as if you lost your ability to speak because all you could do was nod or give short answers to her questions. well, you were being considerate for your girlfriend in case she didn't want to share the bed with you and you were more than willing to let her have the bed for herself. after all, the bed wasn't the biggest and it was just fitting for two people, no more, no less. but she didn't mind at all.

"why when we could just sleep together?"

you hit her a few times for her choice of words and she just wondered what she said so wrong. 'sleep together', technically you were going to sleep together but not sleep together. there was a difference, but you were just being overly sensitive from the way that your body was in close proximity with yizhuo.

it wasn't like you didn't cuddle with her before in the living room while watching dramas and movies. it wasn't like you didn't hug her every single time you would leave by the end of the day. it wasn't like she wasn't already clingy and always finding an excuse to stick right next to you, be it be holding hands or just pulling you into a bear hug. but why was this time so different just because it was on a bed?

"you could take this as practice before we get married in the future."

right, that was why it made you so fidgety and anxious like a teenage girl who was in love with her first love. true enough, she was your first love, if you were to minus out the short fling back in high school that wasn't even a relationship nor situationship.

your relationship had not even turned 2 years old and yizhuo already had confidence in that you would marry her when the time comes. and she was darn right that you would. that day just sealed the deal where you definitely couldn't see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone else other than her.

the way she would enjoy your rants about sea animals that she couldn't care less, the way she reminds you about spending too much, the way she held your hand throughout the whole date.

although she wasn't interested in the many species of fishes that you knew, she didn't complain about it and just enjoyed how you were ecstatic about them. she would nag you a little about getting too many vintage cameras when you wouldn't even use some of them, but she knew that every single one you've bought had at least taken one picture of her. she knew that physical affection wasn't your way of expression where gift giving and words of affirmation was, she made sure that you felt hers.

just like this very moment, you could feel it through the way her gaze bores into your eyes, letting you know that she loved you as much as you did for her, if not more.

"okay, if you say so, wifey."

"oh? already agreeing to the proposal?"

"no way, I will be the one proposing to you in the best way possible when that day comes."

"but does that mean you want to marry me?"

yizhuo was glad to see how you snapped out of your trance with the playful banter between you and her. not only that, your string of thoughts had brought you to a conclusion that sounded like the best one to your life story.

"yes, ms. ning yizhuo. I would love to marry you."

"cause all I wanna do is be with you."

#ningning #ning yizhuo #aespa #aespa fluff #aespa imagines #aespa scenarios #aespa x reader #ningning x reader #Spotify

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tuliptic · 2 years ago

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Wonderland: On My My Way

To put it simply, pick an Ateez logo and let's see which phase of life you're in right now, are you on your way to where you wanna be. The entire motif behind is me wanting to use Ateez’s song titles as inspiration for my readings, as how they’ve inspired me to be better. So yeah, here’s something (again).

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: “Where am I? Am I on my way to where I wanna be?” Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Piles go from left to right

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1

Overall theme of querent: The Sun

First thing I’m picking up on is that you like bright things? Things that shine, glimmer, bright colours? Maybe not so bright colours but something that’s pretty striking? It’s like you like to stand out? Weirdly I’m picking up on fire (Leo) energy as well. Like, you’re known to be the light of the party, someone who’s always making the office lively, making other people laugh (not in the class clown way). If you aren’t, then it is someone that you’ve wanted to be. It’s just an adorably optimistic energy I’m picking up and making me smile here.

1. Where am I now? Queen of Cups

You're getting more and more in tune with yourself, allowing yourself to take time to meditate and heal yourself from your past traumas. Some of you may be on different stages, but you all know about the importance of healing and have taken action towards it. You’re slowly nurturing yourself. I’m also seeing some that may be healing through artistic means? Drawing? Colouring? You open yourself to inspiration and watch creativity flow through you. It’s a very warm, welcoming and flowy energy here, allowing yourself to adapt to whatever situations life throws at you.

2. Where do I wanna go? Queen of Pentacles

You want to be someone practical yet has a nurturing energy. Not so much of a femme fatale kinda energy, more like a teacher? Or a career counsellor kinda vibe? Where you use whatever you’ve learnt to help the future generation or anyone under you who wants to learn. You also want to achieve financial independence, so that you can help others the way others have helped you. I’m seeing you’ve received help before and hence, there’s this nurturing energy that’s heavy where you return the favour.

3. What should I prepare for this journey? Temperance

You need to learn the importance of balance. To achieve where you want to go, you need to balance your efforts and energy. Rest when you need to rest, move when you need to move. A journey is long, and you need time to let your car and yourself rest, add gas to your car before you embark on a long journey. Gain back the balance that you’ve once lost, or you’ve thought you’ve never needed. Cuz you’ll be needing that balance back.

I’m mainly seeing the balance of what you want and what you can. For example, you want to achieve level 5, but your current best is level 3. You can’t just burn yourself out to achieve level 5 with what you have. You can only accept whatever that’s happening, take your time to build yourself up to level 5 and get that. The balance between your physical wants and your mental wants, the balance between rest and work. You need some form of work-life balance back into your life. Clarify whatever you need to, make a list, see which aspect of life you’re lacking on and work on that.

4. How should I go on my way? Page of Cups

There will be creative opportunities coming your way. Let your curiosity lead you around and about. The Universe is dropping messages, opportunities, and help along your way. It’s up to you to catch them and to work towards it. Your curiosity will become your greatest asset. Use it wisely, make sure to let them guide you. If you have no dreams right now, time to write them down and work towards them. Once you’ve set your mind to do something, the Universe will help you out on your way. Think of yourself as the Universe’s beloved, let things fall in place for you. Things may be difficult right now, but there’s always a tomorrow that brings hope for you. You will not feel you’re alone, and you’ll not let anyone feel like they’re alone.

Overall energy: The Moon, The Fool rx

There’s The Sun earlier, and we have The Moon here. There’s a lot of unknown and uncertainty here. You’ve been charging ahead without thinking much earlier. You’ve realised what you’ve been doing was reckless, and now you gotta realign yourself. Know that you’ll need a lot of structure back in your life, and let your dreams give you inspiration and guidance. This pile may have prominent Saturn or is Saturn dominant (the nurturing yet practical energy).

...

Pile 2

Overall theme of querent: Chariot rx

I have a feeling that life is speeding way too fast for you that you’re now having a hard time to juggle and to gain back the control. And what happens when you lose control? You crash, you get lost. So this is your current state, where you’re trying to pick yourself up and trying to find your way back on your track of life.

1. Where am I now? Knight of Wands

You're somewhere, and you’re on the way. “Where’re we going, no one knows it, we're just going, right? For glory, for victory, we can fight all night.” speaks about you right now. Yes I quoted Ateez again but it makes sense okay, since Knight of Wands talks about action, and you’re in the middle of a journey. I feel that you’re in the middle of a search, and once you’ve found your direction, you’ll charge towards it with strength and faith. You’re working with your dreams and spirit’s energy to reach your highest good, and the journey of searching for it seems fun.

2. Where do I wanna go? Page of Swords rx

You probably have some stubborn personalities in you, where you wanna walk on the road of self expression. I don’t think you have a fixed path, but you do have short goals in life. It’s like… You don’t set a goal like “I wanna be a CEO” kinda goal, but something more like “In five years I wanna reach managerial position, and then in ten years I wanna have my own house.” kinda thing. It’s more visualised, something that can be seen and measurable. You’re also someone who’s driven by your visions. So to have something like a short term goal would be helpful for you to reach where you wanted to go.

3. What should I prepare for this journey? Two of Swords

I’m getting the feeling that knowledge is needed. Not the book kinda knowledge, but knowledge you learn from being an adult, something that will not be taught in schools. It’s like… Learning how to recognise the needs of other people and answering to them, learning how to catch up on other people’s boundaries, learning how to read facial expressions. These will be the one of the two swords you’ll be wielding.

The other sword you’ll be wielding is the interpersonal relationships you’ve built on the way. The people you can trust, the people you can rely on, the people you can confide in. The reason is cuz there will be times that your eyes will be covered by the various promises life can give, but it all may be an illusion, and you’ll be needing these two swords to cut through the mist and to proceed in life. These are the abundance you’ll be bringing with you for this journey.

4. How should I go on my way? Three of Wands rx

First and foremost, you must remember you’re not alone on your journey. You need to stop playing small, start planning out your journey, plan for unexpected delays and what else can you do along the way. There may be side quests around you for you to complete, so do them. You might find some unexpected items that can help you level up or to help you out in your journey. Be aware of whatever that’s happening around you. Do remember to move forward, but don’t forget to enjoy the companionship and sceneries of the journey. Be at peace with yourself, create the peace you’ve wanted. You want something, then reach out to it and get them with your hands. Make your journey a pleasant one, follow your bliss and accept limitless joy.

Overall energy: Judgement, Queen of Swords rx

Overall speaking, I feel that you’ve been pretty harsh with yourself and have been judging yourself from your lack of success. See, you have not failed, you have not fallen. But you see lack of success as failure, which will mess your head up a bit cuz you’ll feel like you’re a disappointment when you’re not. You’re called to nurture yourself first, only then focus on the authoritative side of you and of your career. I’m seeing some of you may have 10H stellium as well, or heavy earth energy. This ended up very career-ish so Cap energy as well.

...

Pile 3

Overall theme of querent: The Hierophant

First thing I’m seeing here is that you’re someone who fights for tradition. Not just uphold, but fight. You have a hard time accepting new things and rather do things in an old fashioned way, in the safest way possible. You rarely take risks unless the success rate is over 95%. Don’t ask me how I came up with that number.

1. Where am I now? Ten of Wands rx

You’re in a stage where you’ve been holding a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders. I’m seeing that you’ve gotten them on you because of a lack of trust? Like you have a problem trusting people to do things your required way, so you took everything up on you and take that extra burden on you. Know that you are capable, but you’re also capable of trusting others, to release and let you team members do the other work. Create your own peace by letting go of what needs to let go.

2. Where do I wanna go? Page of Pentacles

I’m seeing that you want to get better and better with whatever you’re doing, to attain skill development. This may be because you wanna catch whatever financial opportunities that come your way. There’s some sort of ambitious energy I’m also feeling here, where you may have focused too much of your energy in taking up tasks to make yourself better. You’ll want to work with your dreams and your spirit’s energy to reach your highest good, and you want to enjoy your journey in attaining financial independence as well as its opportunities.

3. What should I prepare for this journey? Knight of Pentacles

Hard work and practicality came to me first. You’ll need to put in the effort to improve in the various skills you’ve wanted to develop. But you’ll need to remain practical as well. You can develop the skills you want, but you also need to develop the skills you need. Be practical and balanced. Put yourself through the routine of learning, of practising. Get to know people, talk to them, learn about them. This may sound difficult for some of you as you may not be used to talking to people, listening to them even. But you’re called to do so as you need to learn how to create strong emotional connections with the people in your life, especially the important people.

I’m also seeing that you’ll need to prepare for a loooong journey. It’s gonna be a battle of stamina. You’ll be needing to build yourself up before you can head out, be prepared with your wisdom, with your faith, with whatever connections that you’ve made. Weirdly, the words “to gain something, you’ll need to lose something first” came into my mind. You need to lose the feeling of shame when you change from what you’ve done to something else. Sometimes, you know that being stubborn doesn’t help. But you fear the looks of other people, fear how they’ll sneer at you. Thing is, you won’t get things done if you fear that much. So yeah, lose that sense of shame and gain the success of the things you’re doing. I hope I’m making sense here.

4. How should I go on my way? Eight of Swords

Stop playing the victim, let go of those negative thoughts, let go of those self-imposed restrictions. There’s this ego that you’re holding and you need to open up your eyes to see them before everybody leaves you. You’re called to do some critical thinking and to do some introspection and act on them accordingly.

The energy here is very sharp. Usually people around will help to lead the blind, but people won’t want to help people who are trapping themselves, who don’t wanna leave the prison of swords they’ve built. There’s only so much others can help. It may seem like a painful journey but one day, when you look back, you’ll see how far you’ve journeyed.

Overall energy: Judgement, Ten of Swords

You’re going through some sort of judgement? I’m seeing this comes from outside and there’s some fear in you. As much as you wanna emphasise on loving yourself, that you’re on the right path, you still feel the stabbing pain from the swords that are on you. There’s this painful journey that you’re going through right now, but know that it’s to tell you that the end is here and there will be a new cycle where you can start things anew. Something may be amiss this time, and you can learn about it and to not repeat the same mistakes in the new cycle.

#tuliptic #🌷#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #general tarot reading #anyways i'mma stop tagging much lmAO #me: I'll try to keep my atiny soul in check #also me: no #i'm going through my playlist to see what other titles i wanna do #planning to venture into mamamoo's song titles as well and i already have some ideas in mind #anyways time for me to nap #night night

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danpuff-ao3 · 1 year ago

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This year has had many ups and downs, and as of late it feels as if the whole world is a down. Real life has really smacked me down, and I've felt so isolated from all of the things and people I love. But as ever, the world is looking up, and I can see the light...and looking back brings me so much joy and fulfillment. I've accomplished so much that I don't give myself credit for. More than I'll dare type up here, but let's go through the highlight reel, shall we?

For my dear friend Beth's birthday, I finally posted some of my HP Astro work to AO3! (Speaking of which, I really should work on adding more soon...)

A_Loveunlaced (@a-loveunlaced) is an artist I very much admire, so the start of the year was super cool getting to chat with them, seeing their Snarry art, and writing a ficlet for said art, Again (and Again).

Delved into and fully embraced the controversy by running HP Chan Fest with @cindle-writes, which was such a cool and meaningful experience.

Plus I wrote some fics I'm really proud of for said fest: profane holy, Cruel Summer, The Virgin Bride.

Also my dear friend Viran (@mrviran) drew some fanart for Cruel Summer, I believe while it was still anonymous and everything! But she also totally called that it was me who wrote it, which is always fun for me when people know me in the Anon stages!

I wrote more fics for Kinkuary and Kinktober (which I always love!)

Shared more meta on AO3 with The Half-Blood History (I really do need to import more meta there!)

Finally wrote and posted chapter 3 for smile with sweet surprise (aka Stepdad Snape fic)

Started writing and sharing WIPs I've been long excited for: Wasted for Love (Golden Triad + Snarry) and A Taste for You (Sugar Daddy Harry).

I ran HP Fruit Fest solo! Which was a lot, but I had fun and I was super thrilled to not be the only one super into fruit!

I taught myself how to bind books, and now I have a growing collection of bound fics! Check out #danpuff binds to see some!

More recs, as ever, but especially the ongoing Dead Dove Diaries series of rec lists.

Speaking of recs, I'm helping mod @hprecfest, which is so fun for me! I love seeing people's recs, and I love being part of an event that is spreading so much fun and love around the community!

Also, making my own recs for the event! I've got at least one fic queued up for each day, I think! And some days have even more!

For Snarry-a-Thon I wrote a companion piece to last year's Contempt (aka my heart and soul), called Devotion, which my friend Aristi kindly beta read for me! The whole series is so deeply meaningful to me and it feels so huge to add more to it.

For Snarry Bang, I teamed up with my pal Viran (@mrviran) for The Curse of Anteros. I wiffle-waffled on what to write for the longest time, but my vacation to Orlando unlocked something in me. The whole fic hit me like a hurricane and came out in like a 2 week period. And the art Viran created for it is spectacular (I'm still obsessed). Oh, and it was such a treat having the fabulous @writcraft beta! There's nothing quite like having a creator you admire help your work be its best version!

And, of course, I had another opportunity to chat with my friend Beth for @fanficmaverickpodcast, with the episode: A Very Snarry Christmas.

And lots more, but this is plenty enough to be going with! Not half bad for the year, yeah? 😄

#danpuff stuff #2023 #my year in fandom

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lilly-chou-chou · 2 years ago

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(Tw: s3icide and d3ath mention)

I actually do not know where to begin with this because his passing has impacted so many people around the globe. I hope his family, members and friends take as long time as it takes for them to heal from this. When things like this happen we realize how much we take life for granted, it really does make sense when people say things like "resolve things now, who knows if tomorrow you or them will live to see another day"

There are times when things are really difficult and you don't know what to do or how to reach out to others and I want you all to know that it is not your fault. You did your best.

As the years went by I never liked this saying "d3ad people recive more flowers than living" it really made me angry and infuriated me because it is was so unkind and horrible thing to say. I never saw things like that, I always saw it as "they were truly loved and cherished a lot that is why they're getting a lot of flowers" it doesn't matter how they passed on, I always believed that in after life they will get their desired peace and these flowers will build a path for them to look after their loved ones in a different way.

In the the topic of same light I did come across this tumblr post which said "no ones will care about him after few weeks, it always works like this people don't care" can we stop doing this? Because it's so horirble and absolutely worst thing to do. Fans and sometimes even people close to idols have no idea how they are actually doing, as I said Moonbin's situation was a huge shock to all of us. We will never forget about Moonbin, Junghyun, Sulli and Hara. We always remember him. To this every I can never forget 18th December, 13th October, 24th November and now 19th April. These are the dates that I still remember ever since they passed away.

Every year without fail on these days I always take a moment to remember them, we have never forgotten them, we still talk about them. When we talk about them instead of their passing we choose to talk about their happy moments they spent on earth, we choose to talk and discuss about their iconic jokes inside the fandom, their fashion sense, their amazing talents and how ever so they treated their fans and loved ones so kindly.

Talking about someone who has passed on isn't just limited to talking about their d3ath, their lives spent on this earth is also a topic we should talk about more. I still think about Jonghyun's that one video where his mum was calling him after concert and he ever so sweetly said "please wait mum, I am coming", Sulli's extravagant and beautiful loud laugh, Hara's mesmerizing stage presence and now Moonbin's debut with Astro, it's crazy how young Moonbin looked in Hide&Seek I still remember watching the MV when their debuted getting excited about debut of a new group and I couldn't keep off my eyes off of them, they all shined so well.

I hope now Moobin rests well after becoming a star in the sky, when you feel down just look up in the sky and I hope you know there are 4 stars are are shining bright and beautiful telling you "it's okay, don't worry there is always another day"

#astro #moonbin #jonghyun #sulli #goo hara #hara #kpop

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ravenstargames · 2 years ago

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✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #1 | 01.31.23

Welcome to Ravenstar Games' first devlog! ✨💜 We are so excited to finally share this month's progress with all of you! It has been a surprisingly productive month for the team, and we have not only done everything we scheduled for January, but also some extra work!

I want to first and foremost congratulate my team for their wonderful job this month. We hope February will be another amazing month for us and the game!

We want to thank you all so much for sticking with us, for sending us asks, showering us with love and good vibes, and overall for just being here! Without further ado, let's jump into the devlog, shall we? 💜

One of January's highlights has been, without a doubt, Vycar's debut! He's one of six supporting characters you will meet in the demo, and he is very dear to the team.

Calm, shy and a bit of a workaholic, Vycar is the complete opposite of his Lord and close friend, Amon. The dynamic of these two is extremely fun to write, and you'll be seeing a great deal of it in Amon's route!

We did his concept art around late 2022, but this month we focused on his clothes, the color palette and his sprite.

He's not our first finished supporting character, though: we already did Neela's sprite—a character you'll also meet in the demo, and one of the main supporting characters of Envy's route— a few months ago. We want to do some tweaks as her sprite sadly is a bit outdated now compared to the rest of the cast, but you most likely will be meeting her soon! 💜

Ah, yes, the team's personal nightmare! This month we have made outstanding progress with our backgrounds: as of now, six out of ten backgrounds are ready for rendering, or are already finished!

I may as well point out that Raquel, our lead character artist, is also in charge of rendering the backgrounds, which is a ton of work. As we'll be focusing on the characters next month, it'll be a while until Raquel can keep working on finishing backgrounds, but the wait will be worth it! 💜 In the meantime, Astro and Kayden will keep working on them.

Here you have a WIP of one of the first places you'll visit in the demo: your kitchen! We also wanted to show how the background department works with this little gif. Every member of the team is in charge of a different stage; I, for example, write down a briefing for each background and create a moodboard for Astro, and then we all offer our feedback as he works.

Well, this is your mother's kitchen, but it counts...right?

Astro, our lead background concept artist, has also been working hard on bringing Lost in Limbo's world to life. We don't want to spoil too much, but as the director, I wanted to highlight Astro's work today, so I'm leaving here one of the concept pieces he did for another background, as a treat! 💜

What could possibly be happening here, I wonder...?

As of today, 76% of the demo script is coded! ✨ Courtesy of Seyl (that's me!), who has suddenly become a Ren'Py pro (quotation needed).

Jokes aside, we are slowly but surely getting closer to tie all the knots and solve all the mysteries behind Lost in Limbo's demo programming. The pronoun selection works great, the choices don't make the game explode, and variables change when they have to, which may not sound like a lot, but for us first-timers it is like a dream!

You can punch Amon in Lost in Limbo's demo! Yay!

For me, the most complicated thing has been programming the LIs sprites, as they will change clothes in the future, they blink, etc. A bunch of unexpected problems came out (as they always do) as I got familiar with Ren'Py, but fixing them has been an equally rewarding and maddening experience. There's a lot of work left to do and I'm sure I'll suffer a great deal trying to figure everything out, but isn't that the fun part?! Coping mechanism!

Honestly, as an adult who still has to count with her fingers, finding out that I can program with Ren'Py quite correctly is making me feel kind of smart.

Our UI is still on the making, but we hope we can show y'all some sneak peeks real soon!

Seyl's programming adventure also includes absolutely beautiful placeholders like this one, made by yours truly. We promise your mom looks better than this.

As for the writing department, I keep saying the prologue / demo script is finished, but I find myself going back to it to modify stuff. To this day there's still some changes I think can benefit the narrative—but I have to sit down and think about them thoroughly first. As the story grows and the plot thickens, it is my job to make the demo as engaging as possible, and I'm committed to it.

The first chapter of Amon's route is done, and the second is on the making. My plan is to at least write three chapters of every route before focusing on finishing one, to make sure all of them are coherent and cohesive.

January has been a good month for the team. I'd say that the progress we have made especially in the programming and background department has relieved us from a lot of stress.

Sadly, as you all know, Raquel, Astro and me are full time students, and our master degree is being quite intense. How much time we can dedicate to the game depends on the amount of work the master demands from us, so February could be as good as January for the game, or it could be not as fullfilling. Only time will tell! Know that in any case, we regularly work on the game.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much for your time! 💜 I hope it wasn't too boring, and please forgive my overworked brain if there's a bunch of nasty typos around. I promise I'll check the post (again) soon, just in case.

Sending you all a lot of love from the Ravenstar Team! Have an incredible week, take care, and remember to drink water!💜

#lost in limbo #devlog #indiedev #interactive fiction #otome #dating sim #visual novel

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filmografo · 1 year ago

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series intro - BIRTHPLACE

genre: space opera, sci-fi, litfic (a bit)

status: drafting / “outlining” book 2/3.

pov: third person limited, present tense.

tropes / themes: the unbearable weight of mortality, the terrifying realization of Want, space lesbians, growing up / apart / back, lgbtq+, exes to rivals to whatever it is austrakit are currently, found family, finding oneself, (space) war era, ambiguity, subjectivity, capital p Pining (+ more tba)

summary: After finding out her ex-girlfriend is training a ten men crew for what is essentially a suicide mission to map a planet Earth that’s been left behind, Kit Nikon desperately tries to give her life a new meaning.

tags (more TBA): #: birthplace #[we] have the sun in common

Space station gardens, neon green & blue, roots taking place, the smell of damp earth, bright unflickering lights, starfighters, healing bruises, hands against cold metal, sea water, warm sunshine, home in the valley of someone else’s ribs.

characters:

nalkita “kit” nikon (23 - she/her?) | 🌱

emigrate, novo amor

de selby (part 1), hozier

glossover, afternoon bike ride / lowswimmer

strangers, ethel cain

austra andante (23 - she/her) | 🌊

repeat until death, novo amor

i wouldn’t ask you, clairo

the end of love, florence + the machine

there’s nothing left for you, mitski

excerpt:

To know something is to be in constant battle with it: the plaguing of a garden, trying to disinfect a never-healing wound. Being near Austra, hands dripping with blood that never belonged to either of their bodies, means Nalkita has to fight against her own humanity, fight against desire. Close up her throat so the words I wish you would, Lieutenant don’t come out, raw and real. Kit understands so little about herself and knows Austra so much — the feeling of her expressive eyebrows against a fingertip, the weight of every responsibility she carries. Who is she to add another sandbag to Austra’s already aching shoulders but a soldier, a sinning one, at that? Refusing to give up on something that was never hers to begin with.

rambles / more about the series under the cut! :D

this was born from a fanfic/short story i wrote 2 years ago when i wasn’t ready to face what came after the events of what is now book 1 of the birthplace series. i took inspiration from novo amor’s birthplace album, which re-enlightened me about the meaning of “home”. i still hold it extremely close to my heart and will forever.

for book 1 of this, “astro-garden”, the journey kit goes on is extremely personal, quite lonely, quite difficult. titles never meant something to her until austra got one. there’s not much i can say except kit is a firecracker of a person and she’s going to need a lot of luck (she’s strong, she’ll manage)!

book 2 “roots in infertile soil” is as chaotic as i can possibly make a book. there’s more pining (for reasons...), more action, more drama... the characters are all a joy to write and flesh out, and the mercury ii crew are the type of found family that i’ve always loved to read about <3 i’ll introduce each and every one of them with tags in the near future so stay tuned for that!!! :)

book 3 is still in its early earlyyy development stages but hopefully i’ll have something cool to say about it sooner rather than later !

feel free to ask me about anything birthplace-related seeing as this is the only project i am currently (actively) working on!!! i would love love loooove to chat more about secondary characters, locations (the spaceships are Alive), discuss the plot / themes more in depth, etc!

i will be making a taglist with everyone who wants to get updates from this (i'll post more abt that later!) so send me an ask if you’d like to join it :D !

thank you for reading this (kinda long?) intro post for my silly little still unwritten novels hehe! i hope to hear more from u soon

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kiestrokes · 9 months ago

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Favorite K-Pop Group Tag Game

thank you for the tag sunshine, @minisugakoobies

ngl I have been thinking about this since you tagged me. my current fave group is ATEEZ but I feel like most of the answers are going to just be Hongjoong😶‍🌫️ but talking about my ult group is still kinda sad. fuck it lets do both?

who is your favorite k-pop group?

ASTRO and ATEEZ

which member sparked your interest first?

Cha Eunwoo, technically is the reason I checked the group out. Oreo Joong.

who was your first bias?

Moonbin, always and forever. HJ and it is now MATZ.

what makes them your current bias?

soso much, Bin was a v talented dancer and singer. His bodylines and footwork were always just so fucking good. I also just adore his big puppy Aquarian personality. Always caring for his members and other friends. Perfect mix of serious and playful.

MATZ - everything, how they handle themselves and their interactions with others. they're not as stiff as what I have come to expect idols to be (being heavily immersed in 3rd gen culture). The androgyny, and they're both aces. Even if Hwa can't dance sometimes.

who is your bias wrecker?

MJ, face card all fucking day. but those vocals, omg. and his bright ass personality. Rocky comes in at a close second, the rapping, the vocals, the lead dancer, an ace.

Yunho formally is the wrecker, this man can danceeee and his stage presence 🤯

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

Jinjin always just pulls me right back, his rapping voice, ugh. Plus, he's on Hwaiting this season and I am enamored with his and Eric's banter.

KANG YEOSANG goddamnit he is for the BISEXUALS someone come take Korean Legolas away.

when did you first discover this group?

2020 when they announced that Eunwoo was going to be the lead for True Beauty.

December 2022, oreo Joong just popping up in the gifs was enough for me. (it was actually not, I admired him from afar and @chans-room really put in the work to convince me to listen to them. they were right, they a v much my vibe 🙃)

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

No, they were always in Canada. and idk if I will since Bin's death and Rocky leaving the group.

Not yet! my 30th birthday gift to myself is going to see them with Sunny & @minttangerines if they'd ever drop the damn tour dates.

what are some of your favorite songs by the group?

Crazy Sexy Cool (its a bop for a reason), Gemini, Stardust, Butterfly Effect, All Good, Knock.

My Way, Blue Summer, All About You, Dreamy Day.

Non-Obligatory Tagging: @hwaslayer @hobivore @breakfastanxiety

#tag youre it #the sun to my mars #the lucifer to my lokie #drift compatible #moons of mars #mars.fm #astro #aroha #ateez

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inmynewworld · 2 years ago

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#NotSeventeen.

Thanks to Seungkwan, I met Moonbin; and thanks to Moonbin, Astro. But from day one, that boy with moon eyes and a giant smile took every part of my heart.

His innocence, his joy, his love.

Maybe I didn't enjoy his stay in the world too much, maybe he wasn't part of this world because it's impossible for so much goodness to survive in a world like this, he didn't belong here.

It still feels so unreal, just as unreal as the morning I found out about his departure. I still hope that it's all a bad dream and that that little heart hasn't stopped beating. But he did, even though every part of my soul bleeds as I realize that I am awake and life goes on only with his memory.

Her eyes, her smile, her voice and her shine are a memory that I will never erase. It's a promise, Binnie. Your passage on Earth wasn't in vain because you taught us to love, to love each other and to love you.

I have the belief that life doesn't end, that at some point I will find you again and I will love you again as I did in this life. I have the belief that this line is not the only one, and there is a one where you're with Astro loving Aroha like you did in this one. I have the belief that you will return, and you will make us happy again with each occurrence you have.

Be happy, Moonbin-Ah. Be strong. Be healthy. Be sweet as only you know how. I know you, it was the best you knew how to do. Be a dancer to the stars. Be a singer on the Moon, your place. Never stop being you. And shine, even more powerful than you have shine on stage.

You have done an excellent job and I am so proud of you and to have been a part of your life as a fan.

You were a great son, a great older brother, a great younger brother, a great friend and a great idol. Someone who was impossible not to admire.

If you come back look for us, Aroha will always follow you wherever you go. Make with us that last promise, please. Every time I look at the sky I will look for you, and I know that you have noticed from there.

It's time to let your soul rest in peace even if it's more impossible than I thought. Rest in love, my little star with moon eyes. ♡

Sorry for not being able to let you go, sorry for crying, sorry for not being able to save you like you did. Sorry for not seeing it sooner. Forgive me.

And thank you for having passed through the Earth to expand your essence and leave a piece in each one of us. I will always be grateful to have you as a bias. I love you, please never forget that I won't.

And finally, the Moon returned to the sky and met the stars. ♡ #WeLoveYouMoonbin

#boo seungkwan #seungkwan #moonbin #moon bin

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365sylviaplath · 1 month ago

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went to the intersection of hard work and suffering and they told me it wasn't actually an intersection at all

contemplations throughout the olympic season

astrology blurb: i am thinking simultaneously about 2 things - the influence of saturn in my chart and the astrological breakdown of the signs most likely to medal in the olympics

(Source)

Capricorn

Aquarius

Sagittarius

Pisces

Aries

Virgo

Gemini

Cancer

Libra

Taurus

Scorpio

Leo

i notice how the most likely signs here are all of the "oldest" signs chronologically. leo and scorpio being the lowest is personally devastating but ultimately makes a lot of sense. profound difficulties with ego/pride and letting yourself be bad at something as part of your growth journey. there’s a lot to say here about the medal ranking, but i won’t be saying it at this moment. many other things to talk about for now.

as for the other astro topic i will add on - saturn sits in my 8th house in my natal chart and sextiles or trines a lot of my major/personal chart placements. the planet of restrictions and consequences in the house of death/rebirth sex and taxes - crazy that those are connected! i'll get into the 8th house of it all in a different post, but for now, i want to toss in this little blurb pointing out the influence of saturn on my chart and i’ll talk in plain english for the rest of the post about how i see it has made me appreciate hard work and how it often requires these ego death-like situations

i do not believe this is unique of me whatsoever. but every time the olympics rolls around, every time i tune in, i am in tears. while it's true that they often weave tearjerking tales about familial loss, injury, triumph, almost giving up, and so on, sometimes all it takes to make me cry is just seeing someone be so incredibly good at something for the whole world to see. everyone is just in a league of their own! you don't even need a training montage to know. everyone who's there is there for a reason. you can work and everyone knows it. i always fancied myself a bit more of a jack of all trades than something like the olympics could allow, mildly good at a wider variety of things, but never particularly outstanding. for most of my younger life, i was the most 85% student in the world. i showed up to school, i did enough of the reading, i highlighted enough and sat quietly in class. i was kind of the most forgettable type of student. never doing all that badly, but certainly not top of the class. i think people assume you're smart when you're a quiet brunette who wear glasses, and i think they never notice you're pretty disconnected from the class material when you're not failing. after a few years of coasting, i finally failed.

technically, a D-, on my first ever chemistry exam in my junior year of high school. i still remember holding it in my hands and walking back to my seat in shock. i studied the same way i always do! why did it go so profoundly wrong this time? and why do you get so little credit for getting more than 50% of the questions right? i went through the stages of grief in that classroom. i failed in a way that got me noticed. i had failed tests before, but somehow always in situations where the rest of the class had also done really poorly too, so it never felt like My Fault in this same way. i realized all of my prior experiences of getting an 85% on a test were me just being really good at bullshitting my way through. i was failing in much smaller ways this whole time! i was not learning the material or engaging with it in really any class, but most other classes before this point could be problem solved in a way easily accessible to me. but only at about 85% accuracy. chemistry started me on the tumultuous path of developing a relationship with failure.

once i came to terms with reality and the fact that there was nothing that could change what had already happened, i got to work on my plan for improving my situation. i couldn't undo that first test, but i could really focus on learning the material and practicing with it. i became close with my teacher and went all out. i was really fortunate that i had a teacher who was able to see beyond my initial failure and help invest in my success. i could not be bashful about needing help. i no longer had the ability to skate because i would not get through the class! junior year of high school, the threat of college was loudly looming, and failure was just not an option. after years of being a perfectly average student, i could tell that how i handled chemistry class would decide which college options would be available to me and thus, The Path The Rest Of My Life Would Take (yes i am prone to exaggeration and catastrophizing). passing vs failing chemistry would inform the friends i'd make in college, the programs available to me, the cities i could move to, the internships/future jobs i could have (again, yes, it had to be major drama). laid out in front of me like this, it suddenly was very serious.

i think the craziest thing to me about that moment of panic was how calm i was the rest of the time. once the initial shock wore off, i felt purposeful. i was honestly happy! i had a fear of failing again and what that would mean, but i really left it up to the universe at a certain point. if i gave it my all, what more could i really have done? and if i really learned everything i could, how could i fail? i had no reputation to maintain, as i had been every type of student in the past. i've gotten every possible grade they can give you. i defied categorization in that way. i knew my core self wasn't really too concerned with the grades themselves, but rather about how i engaged with the material. can i power through hardship? can i learn something and deeply understand it to its core? is the investigative mind inherently lost to the brutal nature of failure?

i felt all the noise quiet down at a certain point and i just focused on what i could control - developing thorough mastery of the material, as it was presented to me. i began to learn everything forward, backward, sideways, upside down. i was asking my teacher impossible hypothetical questions, just in case. i imagine if she ever felt particularly sadistic toward a class in the future, she would use my hypothetical questions as gag questions on exams in the future. i loved the gag questions in exams. the question put there to confuse you and make you want to quit. i learned in this journey that i love a challenge. i need a challenge. i cannot be bothered if it's simple. i need that shit that is so needlessly complicated that it pisses you off at first glance. one of my earlier failures, my 8th grade algebra exam (which the entire class failed too), i sat back in disbelief as the teacher went through solving the gag question and i did it flawlessly. one of my only unaffected test questions. i had college professors tell me i was infuriating to grade because i so clearly understood the most complicated thing, but did the tier 1 concepts so badly. i remembered the time in my elementary years when i was handed a Newton's cradle that got so tangled in transit that everyone was preparing to throw it away and i spent the next several hours meticulously untangling it. successfully, i might add. i love that shit that breaks you.

as one could imagine, i got an A in junior year chemistry class. i got myself together soooo profoundly. i was borderline performing at the end. i knew the material so well i could not help myself. i noticed how much i felt a creative energy in the chemistry classroom, even though everyone went on about how science was so rigid and Had Rules and was for Serious People and so on. on a gut level, i really felt the same way i did in my printmaking class that year. i was doing shit the teachers had never even thought of. i felt like i was born for theoretical science. that cutting edge of what is or what might be. it pisses me off that you have to be good at the linear material first before they take you seriously anywhere else. i understand why...... but i hate it still. some of us just know.

after this classroom experience, i went on to do almost this exact thing again a few more times. unexpectedly failing a class with my mediocre approach until i realized i had to get serious and i ended the class correcting the professors. i did this outside of the classroom too! getting into such a dire situation that you genuinely cannot save yourself without bossing up. the risk of collapse is what creates you anew. rebirth at the hands of doom (drama is back) (it never left). sometimes we need to die before we can be born! the old version of you is sometimes no longer supported and that bitch must go!

i'm sure you see where i'm headed here. when you allow yourself to invest in becoming Really Really Good at something (even if it's natural talent!), you will experience every high and low imaginable. and let's face it! a lot of people do not really want you to succeed! a lot of people are not yet ready to see themselves as successful and will not be able to handle your success. putting work in and becoming better/smarter/faster/etc makes people realize they just need to be doing that too to become good at something. rather than lamenting how they're the most 85% student in the world, they are forced to realize that change and doing better is entirely in their hands and not something naturally awarded. you will have to see yourself fail if you want to see yourself really winning.

the unglamorous part of being Really Really Good at something is how many times you had to be awful at it first. and how many days it feels like that may kill you. i'm the kind of guy who cannot bear to repeat myself more than once. if i'm filling out an online form and it deletes my response, i have to take a walk and come back to it. i do not like the feeling of when it seems as though my attempts don't matter. every olympic training montage i am in tears. perhaps deep cut, but i vividly remember the music video back in 2012 for that Gym Class Heroes song "The Fighter" starring 2012 olympic gymnast John Orozco. as soon as anyone calls themselves a "fighter", i fall to pieces. are you able to watch yourself fall 20 times in a row and not call yourself a failure? you can fail every single day for a year and you never have to identify with it. you never have to call yourself anything negative at all! not even once! encouraging yourself to learn more and work harder does not ever have to be "because you were bad".

i think my potentially hot take here is that, as the title of this post suggests, hard work and suffering are not at all the same thing. i'm thinking a lot here about the expression "if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life". it implies that doing something you love will not require "work"..... as though it will just come easily....... and you'll just be doing it???? to me, it's not that the work is easy, it's that you want to do it. you get so much satisfaction out of doing it that you couldn't imagine doing anything else. pursuing knowledge that excites and interests you is still hard work. it's just worthwhile! flexing my chemistry knowledge junior year was fun for me, but boy was i up at all hours. i think i slept maybe 4-5 hours most nights in high school. i knew the nick at nite lineup so well. i was dragging my corpse along, but even through the fatigue, i had contacted my inner genius. i was a fighter! i had more and more to learn and i was not afraid of my past failures. i think chemistry was my highest final grade that year. once the initial shocks of failure had worn off, i just got right to work and i ended up absolutely loving it! learning all the complex hypotheticals was genuinely enjoyable to me and i did not at all retain this feeling of failure i started the journey with. i loved chemistry so much that i took an advanced elective chemistry course my senior year. we made fireworks for our class final!

my high school gave awards to high performing students in the various categories of academics/arts/etc and i won one of the 2 science awards my senior year. i remember going up to accept the award and wondering why i was getting it. in my head, despite the death/rebirth schemes i’d been through, i was still the most 85% student of all time. then, i imagined the science teachers all getting together to decide on the award winners, discussing my class in depth, and arriving to my name. i imagined them thinking about the other high performing science-forward students, in all the highest levels of the STEM classes and thinking - no, there is a more interesting story to tell. one of a girlie who failed so badly in the beginning that somehow she became one of the highest performing and creative thinking science minds in the graduating class (humble, too). it was not easy whatsoever, it obviously did not come to me naturally, but i was there to behold! people do also really love a comeback story, and i think that won me some points as well.

i had a choice in my failures. i could marinate in them and identify with them and let them destroy me. i could suffer, because hadn't i earned the right to suffer? you never have to embody suffering and self pity and all those other fun things in order to be successful. in fact, kind of the only way you become successful is by not letting those things stick to you. people can call you anything they want, but it doesn't necessarily mean those things are true. i know that in many cases, other teachers would’ve seen me fail that first time and not given me so many opportunities to redeem myself. you know who you are and what you're capable of! and you find your joy when you allow yourself to look for it and feel it. an underrated part of self love is simply showing up for yourself. every day, even when you feel so crappy, when you're tired, when you feel like quitting, when you wonder if it's worth it, continuing to show up because you're passionate about what you're doing and you see yourself as a winner! allowing yourself to be surrounded by winners and people who uplift themselves is a huge step in that direction. yet another reason why i love watching the olympics - you know everyone in that room has shown up for themselves repeatedly for years and sees themselves as incredibly gifted at their sport. showing up and claiming your successes is such a triumph! it's so beautiful to get to witness the continued strength and hard work each time around.

#astro #astrology #olympics #saturn #chemistry #science #musings

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ddaeng-angmoh · 2 years ago

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This is going to be a long post where I talk about the struggles of the 20s. The stuggle of mental health and pain. This is brought on by recent events that occured and a beloved celebrity.

I'm not going to explicitly tag this for kpop or astro because I don't want to join that flood. I don't want anyone that is struggling to come to tumblr to relax, and be overwhelmed with the reminders of what happened. I fell apart after Jonghyun died. Irregardless of him being a celeb, I remember how it felt.

TW: talk of death , mental health

If you have been scrolling on tumblr or facebook and heard a lot of this. If this is making you feel uncomfortable and pushing you in any way to an unsafe place, please take the time to find a safe person to reach out to. Remember there are crisis hotlines for this as well. The internet will be flooded for awhile, so please take a step back from the internet if you must.

It took me a long time to come to terms with Jonghyun passing, I couldn't listen to SHINee for years without crying. I still can't sometimes. At the time, my friend told me of how there was some "death club" for celebs that passed at ages 25/26. I thought it was the oddest thing to make a club for. She hinted to it having some supernatural connection and I almost believed it.

I was 21 then, and the next year started the hardest 5 years of my life. I went from passing all my college courses to failing 6 in the span of 3 years. I quit my job, got a new one, then went on a mental health break. This led to me getting fired, and going on disability.

Last year I took a psychology course and as I realised I had entered the age of this nysterious "club" I looked back at my life broken hearted. It had been 4 years since Jonghyun passed, I was finally 25. I had been diagnosed with 2 mood disorders, adhd, 2 sleeping disorders, and been told the only cure for my mood disorders is to grow. I was incredulous when my psychologist said that to me. I got angry with him and with all my hopes and dreams crashing around me I could understand why this was such a dangerous age.

It wasn't until my teacher broached brain growth that something clicked. She told us that our brain didn't actually finish growing till around 26. That not only was the 20's the highest risk age for humans, but it was finally when we start being able to conceptualise the future. We could always dream of it before. We could understand the consequences. But we couldn't fully grasp the magnitude of the future.

We live in a society where we are expected to know what we want at 18. How unrealistic, when we only truly understand life at ~26.

The death club isn't supernatural. It's very psychological. I can't imagine the heartbreak these celebrities felt as the future came crashing in on them. That all their mental health struggles and life closed in on them and they wondered "is this it? Forever?" Because suddenly, forever makes more sense. More than it had.

I think we need to do better. Not just as a society, but as friends and family. The 20s are the age where suddenly we're freefalling, and as we plummet, we realise we can see the ground for the first time. We can finally see the end, and what it means. We imagine how it will feel to crash and break apart. All we feel is alone, and terrified, and wondering what it will sound like when we splatter to our end. How horrifying.

It's a good thing at least, that we can live our life as slowly as we like. If we take care of ourselves, we can slow our descent to the end. Outside of unexpected events of course.

I want to say for everyone younger than me, who hasn't hit this stage yet- you must already feel so overwhelmed. That's okay, because you ought to be. You're finding who you are. Take your time, and don't worry about the future. Don't put this pressure on yourself too early. And remember when you do start to see the ground, that it doesn't mean it's the end. It's still so far away. You'll be okay.

For the people in my age range who have seen it. Well, I'm in stage one of this myself. I'm terrified too. But everyday I'm seeing that it's okay. That all the things I scoffed at are true. I hated people saying to just wait it out. I never understood why they said "it's just a phase" (IT ISN'T TYVM) but now I get why they said that. They might not have experienced the pain I have mentally, but they experienced the fear of falling. The terror of seeing the end, and the peace that comes with knowing that they have a long way yet to go.

We have a long way yet to go.

Please remember that you're not alone in this. That you're not just going through a phase, and your struggles matter. The journey of the 20's is hard enough without mental fatigue and illness. But you can make it. Please don't be hard on yourself, and reach out to others. Take your time, because you need it. Because even after all this happens and your brain is done growing, and you're left with all this realisation- you still need to take the time to come to peace with it. If your mind is a pond and your growth is pebbles dropping in... then in this, you still have to wait for those pebbles to stop falling and their ripples to stop before it comes to peace again.

A bad metaphor, but the only one I can think of.

Waiting it out doesn't have to be torture. I think that's why it's so important we hold tight to the joys in our life. Why we have to cling onto what matters, and focus on the good relationships we have. Even if we have to go out of our comfort zone to make them. Because even reaching out for ourselves, we are still grasping onto someone else who needs help. We all need to support each other in this, I believe that completely. We're all lonely and aching. So why can't we find solace in each other?

I don't want to get into everything that happened today. My heart aches, and I'm not ready to confront it. The fear is coming back. I ache so much. Not just for him, his friends, or his family. But for everyone feeling the same. In this world of emotional fatigue, where we are bombarded with empathy so much that we grow numb- things like this can feel like it's really breaking me.

I don't know the people I pass on the street, or the people I reblog from or read the stories of. Yet my heart still feels for all of you. Because I know how I feel, and I know I'm not alone in it.

Growth is cruel, it hurts. It's life chiselling away at us as if we were unfeeling stone. Hacking out our form with furious cracks. But we're flesh and blood. We feel it all. And I truly hate how this pain is deemed as "necessary" it shouldn't have to be.

So please, please. Hold strong. Please hold onto the people around you. Because it will hurt. It will keep hurting. But It's not forever. We're almost done growing. There will be an end to this pain. This isn't forever. You shouldn't be burdened with getting over it. Don't hold yourself to that. Because you'll only get it over it when you find your own peace. That can't be rushed by expectations and guilt.

Sometimes I read stories and see the Romantic Leads interact. I watch in pain as one of them admits that they can't do it any anymore. They can't live their life alone and in pain. Then I watch in jealousy as their partner holds them and tells them they don't have to. They can let go of all their burdens and pains, because their partner is there for them. They will help them carry it all. And isn't that beautiful?

I feel awful guilt sometimes as a Christian. I've heard some awful things from corrupt churches, and I've had friends saying, "God will heal you if you ask". I wonder sometimes if they realise that I hear, "why are you still sick? What are you doing wrong that God isn't healing you? What's wrong with you."

I wish more churches confronted this. More of them said that it's okay to hurt and struggle. It's okay to not be healed. Because sometimes we're going to be sick. Sometimes we're hurt, and sometimes we don't see the real issue. I have repeated this many times in this post, but I want to reiterate it differently. Especially with this in mind.

We need to stop praying for healing, and looking for miracles to get better. We need to stop thinking that normalcy is the focus.

If you pray for anything, pray for peace. Pray for love. Pray for the confidence to seek someone out and ask for help. Pray for someone to hold you, so you can release your burdens. Pray for them to pick those burdens up with you, because you don't have to do it alone.

That's what will bring you true healing. Of this I know, of this I am certain. Because you don't need a romantic partner to find this. Because you don't need healing to achieve this. You really can get this all right now. But it is something that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and ask.

You don't have to ask God. I know a lot of people here have been hurt by religion and churches. This isn't a post to convert people like google docs and push my beliefs.

But you should ask someone.

Because your soul needs release. No matter who you are, and what you're going through, you need moments where you can trust in others to hold you. People can be trusted. I have no doubt you've been hurt in the past, because I have too. It was probably by someone you trusted most. That happened to me too. But that's not everyone.

If you are having a hard time. I ache for you. I understand. I feel the pain too. If you'll allow me, I'll pray for you. I can't handle life stories right now, or discussions. My own health isn't there. But if anyone wants to know that someone is thinking for them, and their health. Shoot me a dm, ask me to add you to my prayer list. I don't need to know why, so don't feel like you have to say anything specific either.

I'll pray for you day in and day out. Even if it's just one person, you can add me to the list of people that care about you. Even if we never talk again, and you don't want to talk again, I'll happily pray for you. Because I ache for you all, I truly do. I feel like I will fall apart when I hear of all the suffering around me. I so selfishly want to fix it all, and I wish I could. I want to be able to hold everyone who is hurting and tell them that I can carry their burdens for them. I just wish I could take all the pain away.

I know I can't. But I want to. So even if it's just the idea of it. I want to hug your hurts away, soothe your pain, and brush your tears away. Even for a moment. This will end. There will be peace.

With that, I want to say that I hope everyone stays strong. This age range is turbulent for a reason. Remember to hold on.

If you are experiencing any thoughts of harm or other extreme ideations, then please call one of the toll free help lines. They're there for a reason. These people are there to help. They're there for anyone to use. They're perfect if you need to talk instantly. I don't know how to write this without a total tonal shift, but it's important to bring this in.

https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp

This is a link to an engine to find help lines. Please use it if you are having intense feelings or on the precipace of a breakdown. I can't say where that line is for you, but I pray for you to have the wisdom to know if you should call.

You don't need death to find peace. I promise you of that.

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astrofireworks · 7 years ago

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new year’s day

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

(1 Jan 2018)

From where he is on the floor, Jinjin can see dust motes floating on a ray of sunshine. It’s almost peaceful, with MJ’s head pillowed on his chest and Sanha draped a distance away over an armchair, the only interruption being soft snores from Rocky somewhere on the sofa behind him. The curtains are pulled closed, leaving only a crack to allow daylight in.

He isn’t sure at what point last night they all clocked out – the last thing he remembers is MJ deciding to take a nap some time past three in the morning, and him pulling a sleepy MJ into his embrace while the other four, huddled around a Monopoly board with drinks in their hands, laugh at their oldest. He remembers tugging MJ closer to him and burying his nose into MJ’s hair; he remembers telling a drowsy MJ to sleep and pressing a kiss to his forehead and reassuring Eunwoo that no, he’s fine with being on the floor even though Eunwoo’s offering his own bed and even though he knows his back will kill him when he wakes up.

There is a small noise from the kitchen and Jinjin smiles. Trust Eunwoo to be the one to wake up first to clean up the drinks from last night. There are still green and pink pieces of monopoly money scattered around the floor, traces of the kids giving the game up one by one. Jinjin wonders who won.

He sees Eunwoo step out of the kitchen, socked feet quiet against the hardwood floor as he pads into the living room.

“You’re up?” Eunwoo mouths.

Jinjin smiles in response. “Where’s Bin?”

There is a light blush across Eunwoo’s cheeks as he answers, “Our room.” He catches Eunwoo sliding into a smile the moment he says ‘our’, and feels his heart warm in response. He will be forever grateful that Bin finally took his head out of his ass to confess his feelings to Eunwoo – he wasn’t sure how many more secret looks and longing sighs he could have taken.

He watches Eunwoo pick up the stray pieces of Monopoly money, strange as it looks through horizontal mode from his position lying on the floor. “Eunwoo,” he whispers.

Eunwoo pauses in his cleaning and looks up, long fingers still curled around pink papers.

“Where are the polaroids from last night?”

Eunwoo’s eyes curve into a smile, and he reaches over to the coffee table to gather up the photos to hand to Jinjin.

Jinjin grins, the arm not curled around MJ reaching out to receive the polaroids. They’re beautiful, he thinks.

He shuffles through them one-handedly. There’s one of Sanha peeking from behind his hot chocolate mug, and another of him pretending to chug from an unopened soda bottle. There’s one of Rocky trying to bite Bin’s shoulder and Bin leaning away – Jinjin feels like if he focuses hard enough, he might just be able to hear Bin’s laughter.

There’s one of Rocky holding up a thick wad of monopoly money, looking far off into the distance with a haughty expression, and Jinjin can barely hold back a snort. There’s one of Eunwoo doing the exact same thing, haughty expression and all, except with only a singular note between his fingers and Jinjin can’t help but let out a quiet laugh. Now he knows who won.

MJ shifts in his arms, no doubt jostled by the laugh, and Jinjin runs his fingers through MJ’s hair to soothe him before picking up the next polaroids.

There’s one of him trying to stuff an entire sandwich in his mouth, with Sanha cheering on one side and Bin giving him a judgemental look on the other. There’s one of MJ attempting the same thing, with himself and Sanha laughing hard in the far corner. There’s one of Bin, cheeks already stuffed full and another sandwich in his hand, leaning against a slightly perturbed Eunwoo.

There’s one of Bin pressing a kiss to Eunwoo’s cheek, with Eunwoo’s face mid-laugh and dim lighting making it such that their faces are the only two visible things in frame. They are so, so in love it makes Jinjin’s heart swell.

And then there’s one of MJ, with his lovely cheeks crinkled up in his carefree smile and his messy bangs falling over bright eyes. Jinjin stares at it for a while – it isn’t often that you capture something this beautiful and get to keep with you forever.

There is a shift on Jinjin’s chest, and he looks down just in time to see MJ bury his nose into his chest. There is a beat, and MJ looks up, eyes still half-closed.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Jinjin whispers.

MJ smiles blearily, fists coming up to rub the sleep away. “What’re you looking at?”

Jinjin hands him the polaroid he was looking at, and MJ snorts, tossing it a distance away.

Jinjin makes an indignant sound, “What did you do that for? That was my favourite one – “

“There’s no point looking at a photo when you have the real deal right here,” MJ sounds back, smile evident in a voice still slightly gravelly from sleep, and Jinjin can’t stop the laughter bubbling up from his chest.

He’s right though, Jinjin thinks. He brushes MJ’s bangs away from his eyes and presses a good morning kiss to his forehead.

“I love you.”

I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

(1 Jan 2019)

Bin has barely time to wonder why his bed is so cold when there is a dip in the mattress, and an arm snakes around his waist.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” A pair of lips press against the back of his neck.

Bin smiles and turns to face Eunwoo. “You weren’t here when I woke up.”

“I went to clean up the stuff in the living room before everyone else wakes up. Don’t want anyone crashing into bottles.”

Eunwoo’s eyes are sparkling and Bin feels the warmth of the smile in Eunwoo’s voice all the way down to his toes. “Are the two old men in your old room?”

Eunwoo snorts and presses a kiss to Bin’s nose. “Don’t let them hear you call you old men; MJ won’t come over anymore.”

“They always fall asleep before anyone else does, anyway. We can have New Year’s parties over at their place instead then, so they can sleep in their own bed.”

“Sanha lost the bet last night, remember? He’s already hosting 2020’s.”

Bin laughs, and tucks himself into Eunwoo’s arms. There is a sort of comforting thrill in the confidence with which Eunwoo announces the fact, a confidence in their friend group staying best friends and ringing in the next new year together. There is a moment of silence, with Bin’s head on Eunwoo’s heart and Bin feeling Eunwoo’s chest rise and fall with each breath.

Eunwoo tightens his hold on Bin and watches Bin’s eyelashes as he blinks drowsily. He’s beautiful, Eunwoo thinks, with his soft cheeks pressed against Eunwoo’s chest and his lips pushed out in a slight pout. How lucky he is to have this sight to wake up to, every day.

“We never got our midnight kiss this year,” Eunwoo says, instead. “We were too busy playing charades.”

Bin looks up and laughs. He stretches, all languid lines and soft muscles, before flipping over and propping himself up on his forearms. He leans over to press a gentle kiss to Eunwoo’s lips.

Eunwoo savours the soft warmth of Bin’s lips against his own, morning breath and all, before Bin pulls away.

“There’s no point in having kisses at midnight on New Year’s only,” Bin murmurs against his lips, “when we can have kisses all year round.”

Eunwoo laughs, then pulls himself out of bed. “You’re right. Now I gotta go clean up the rest of the room before the old men and the kids wake up.”

Bin’s response of, “Don’t let them hear that!” is met with a soft laugh as Eunwoo pads out of the room.

Bin yawns and appreciates the view of Eunwoo’s back for a moment before hauling his ass out of bed too. If Eunwoo’s set on clearing the apartment before the boys crashed in their living room wake up, he might as well help.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

(1 Jan 2020)

Sanha isn’t sure how they got themselves into this tangle, but he’s learnt to never question his best friends.

Especially when they’re in a literal tangle on the Twister mat. Rocky is trapped somewhere underneath Bin and he’s laughing breathlessly and Jinjin’s yelling about someone’s elbow being in his face. Eunwoo’s face is dangerously close to MJ’s and Sanha can only laugh at how ridiculous this entire situation looks from where he’s perched on the sofa.

He grabs his polaroid camera and calls out to the giggling heap, “Look up, y’all!”

Rocky is the only one vaguely facing in his direction and he gives Sanha a bright smile just as Sanha presses his finger on the shutter. A whir of the camera later, the polaroid has come out perfectly and what used to be five men playing Twister has devolved into a full out tickle fight with Rocky screaming at Sanha for backup.

Their laughs are bright and way too loud for two in the morning, but Sanha can somehow pick out each individual laugh – MJ’s loud cackling, Rocky’s animated yelps, Bin’s breathy laughter, Eunwoo’s squeaky inhales and Jinjin’s low chuckling. Sanha’s heart is warm and full and he’s standing in the middle of his living room with his reindeer onesie with his best friends in a screaming mess on the floor, but honestly? He would give anything to pause time and keep this moment forever.

He snaps another polaroid and Rocky screeches louder for Sanha to come and save him from the rest of the boys.

Sanha sets down his camera, and with a high-pitched war cry, delves into the mess.

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you.

(31 Dec 2020)

Rocky sets down the wine bottle in his hand and lets out a low whistle. MJ and Jinjin have managed to decorate their new apartment pretty well, despite their bickering about the colour scheme. Their living room is painted a homey sunshine yellow and there are photographs of multiple sizes in frames above the sofa, arranged so that they cover nearly the entire wall.

There are throw pillows with covers that have cheesy sayings on them, and one pillow with a badly patterned “Goat!”. Rocky isn’t sure if he wants to know the back story behind it, but knowing MJ, it probably is hilarious.

Bin is already sprawled on the sofa, head hanging off one arm and talking to Sanha upside down. There is some unidentifiable piano music coming from the phone abandoned beside Bin and Sanha’s shuffling through a stack of what seems like playing cards and threatening to throw one at Bin’s head; Rocky has to stifle a laugh.

Eunwoo pops his head out of MJ’s kitchen and asks Rocky for help in carrying the food into the living room. Rocky complies.

A disaster.

There is flour all over the table and the sink is overflowing with soap suds and Rocky’s pretty sure the oven isn’t supposed to be smoking. Jinjin has a streak of chocolate across his cheek and a tray of what looks like charcoal sticks in front of him. The only edible food seems to be the ones in the Tupperware Eunwoo’s brought over from his own apartment.

But Jinjin and MJ are laughing and Eunwoo is shaking his head fondly and Rocky can’t help but smile because this is them, this is the six of them in a nutshell – a mess, but a beautiful and happy mess, and Rocky couldn’t feel more warm.

Jinjin waves him towards the food and turns around to toss the coal bricks into the trash. “Utensils are in the second drawer on the left. Should we forgo plates this year too?”

“We never use plates. Who needs plates when you have your rice bowls?” Eunwoo peels back a Tupperware cover and peers into it. “This one’s curry.”

Rocky clicks open another Tupperware container and wrinkles his nose, “This one’s pickled cucumbers.”

“Just because you don’t like cucumbers doesn’t mean the rest of us won’t eat it,” Jinjin says sensibly, then shoves three more Tupperwares into Rocky’s hands. “Bring these out, will you?”

Rocky heads out to the living room to set down the food, topmost Tupperware nearly tumbling onto the coffee table.

Bin perks up at the sight of food, and swings himself into a sitting position. “Are we eating yet?”

As the other three bring more food to the living room, Rocky watches Sanha clear his playing cards from the table. He squints. Those aren’t playing cards.

He picks one up, and it’s a polaroid of them, four years ago. Eunwoo is holding the camera and the five of them are piled up behind him, Sanha just making it into the top right corner of the polaroid. They are all squinting in the sunlight, and Jinjin’s smile is nearly blinding.

MJ sets down another stack of Tupperwares and picks up a polaroid from the stack in Sanha’s hands. “Oooh, I remember this.” It’s one of the six of them huddling on the beach in their winter coats, with Eunwoo screaming about how cold it was and Jinjin hollering at whoever it was holding the camera to take it quickly, before they all froze to death.

There’s one of Eunwoo in a suit, tossing autumn leaves into the air, laugh nearly audible. There’s one of Rocky in a striped turtle neck and red blazer, standing in front of some random rich man’s house, holding a rose from their rose bush in front of his face. There’s one of Sanha dead asleep on a chair, mouth open, and Bin squatting down next to him and pretending to poke his face.

There’s one of all six of them in suits at Sanha’s brother’s wedding. Sanha’s beaming at the camera like there’s no tomorrow, happiness palpable even two years after the fact and Rocky can’t help but smile.

Eunwoo sits down next to Rocky, setting down all the Tupperwares in his arms. He peers over Rocky’s shoulder at the polaroids in Rocky’s hands. “Why’d you bring these, Sanha?”

“I thought it’d be nice for MJ and Jinjin to string them up on a wall or something. I have so many of them from over the years we might as well start turning them into decoration; I already have about forty of them up on my wall, remember?”

Eunwoo hums in agreement, shuffling through some of the polaroids. He says something about making sure each row has a balance of portrait and landscape polaroids, but his voice fades into the background as Rocky squints hard at Sanha.

Rocky’s pretty sure he’s seen Sanha’s wall before, but Sanha’s honestly been over to his place more than he’s ever been to Sanha’s. In fact, he thinks, all the memories he’s had with Sanha – Sanha screaming over Mario Kart, Sanha finishing all the ice cream in Rocky’s fridge, Sanha doodling whiskers on his face in Sharpie when Rocky fell asleep on the sofa, Sanha rummaging through Rocky’s drawers for something large enough to function as pyjamas, Sanha falling asleep on Rocky’s lap – have all been in his apartment.

He looks back up at Sanha, who’s staring at him expectantly, playful frustration a thin mask over palpable disappointment. “Do you not remember my wall?”

“Um,” Rocky says instead, and pulls out a copy of his apartment key from his pocket, “Move in with me?”

hello happy end-2017, may 2018 be better for the world and for astro and for you!!!

#astro #astro fic #vivi shoots #i just finished streaming mbc drama awards i love when astro performs #seeing astro on stage always makes me so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like !!!!!!!!!!!! yEs #this is where you guys belong shining stars #im weep i love #but yes #myungjin and binu and lowkey socky!!!!!!#even though i don't ship socky #which is why it's lowkey rip #but beep beep i love ot6 i love astro what's new

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 2 years ago

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A guide to Omega X

This is something I should have made way before this situation has gotten out, but it’s better late than never and I’m feeling a lot of things regarding this situation. So I’m making this to help people understand who Omega X is and hoping people find it helpful in supporting them through this hard time.

At the end of this post I will be speaking a little bit about the current situation, but first I want to put these wonderfull boys in the spotlight.

This will be a long post but please bare with me.

This is Omega X

(from left to right, top row: Jaehan, Yechan, Taedong, Hyuk, Hwichan, Xen. Middle row: jehyun, Junghoon, Hangyeom. Bottom row: Sebin, Kevin)

Omega X is a boy group that debuted in 2021 with the song ‘Vamos’ under Spire Entertainment. This group might have a few familiar faces as they have all debuted once before under different groups (which are now inactive or disbanded) this makes Omega X their second chance to debut and be idols.

That being said, they are all incredibly motivated and strong willed. They refused to give up when others told them too. This makes them incredibly special.

Discography

Here are the groups title tracks and mv’s! Please have a listen and enjoy!

Vamos What’s Goin’ On Love Me Like Play Dumb

The members

Jaehan

Jaehan ( July 1, 1995) was recently appointed to be Omega X’s leader during their most recent comeback, which I believe says alot. He’s calm and collected, doesn’t seemingly get angry easily and loves his dongsaengs an immense amount. He has this lovely speaking voice, deep and full that transforms beautifully into a higher pitch when he sings. He also enjoys photography, having an instagram dedicated to taking pictures of his members and the places they travel. You can find that here. He also has the most adorable, charming smile that I absolutely adore. Jaehan also plays the base and was previously a member of the group Spectrum.

You can find Jaehan’s introduction trailer here

Hwichan

Hwichan ( April 18, 1996) is quite possibly one of the strangest members, in the best way. He always makes the members laugh and has such a unique energy. He always needs to get really close to the camera when he spots it which isn’t anything important but it’s a small thing I find endearing. He also seems incredibly sweet often seen taking care of his dongsaengs and making sure they are comfortable. Not to mention his lovely singing voice, he has a very comforting tone to his voice. Here you can listen to his lovely voice. Hwichan is also an incredibly skilled drummer, almost being placed in a band together with N.Flying’s Dongsung. Here you can see him play a cover of (G)i-dle’s Tomboy. Hwichan was previously a member of the group Limitless.

You can find Hwichan’s introduction trailer here

Sebin

Sebin (April 24, 1996) is teddy bear shaped. I’ve never seen someone so cuddly and gentle as him. Have this tiktok of him cuddling Junghoon. He’s big and tall and just loves love. He’s always there to hug people when they need it and smiling. He’s seems to have such a positive mindset. He went from being the maknae in his previous group to being the most doting hyung. On stage however he is so charismatic, whips out that stunning smile and the energy. He’s so hard to ignore on stage and commands such a presence. He sings his lines with amazing energy but really, his dancing is where it’s at. Here is a dance cover he did with member Taedong of Astro’s “Who” This boy is also such a foodie, I adore watching him eat. He just likes snacks okay!! Sebin was previously a member of Snuper.

You can find Sebin’s introduction trailer here

Hangyeom

Hangyeom (July 17, 1996) is so incredibly stunning but that doesn’t diminish how much talent he has. Being an incredibly talented producer and rapper, he often writes Omega X’s lyrics. He has a soundcloud you can check out here Hangyeom is so goofy too, this boy really just talks sometimes. He’s also forever the victim of teasing which is undoubtebly because of the things he says which is really funny. He also has undying love for his dog Chorong and frequently goes live with her. In his vlog here you can see how sweet he is with Chorong. He has big himbo vibes in the best way possible and is so sweet to the fans. He was previously the leader of 7 o’clock.

You can find his introduction trailer here

Taedong

Taedong (November 7, 1997) is definition of looks scary, is a cinnamon roll. His voice when he raps is absolutely amazing, it has so much texture. I can’t quite explain it. However he also has a lovely singing voice, which is much softer. You can hear that here He’s quite a soft person and from what I can tell he takes joy in comforting others and looking after others. Taedong is an absolute phenomonal dancer as well. Being able to freestyle and choreograph very well (he also does a great girl group dance cover) Here you can see a choreography he performed. He adores being surrounded by his members and it’s very clear in the way he acts in their lives and vlogs. Taedong was previously a member of Gidongdae.

You can see Taedong’s introduction teaser here

Xen/Jinwoo:

This is personal but to me, Jinwoo (February 20, 1998) is just so absolutely beautiful. He’s so stunning and has this classic R&B vibe. He seems so relaxed and adds this beautiful sensual energy to the group. He’s very passionate and has such a smooth singing voice, made for slow songs. Here are vlive clips where he serenades us beautifully. He’s also inseperable from Jehyun since they previously came from the same group and they are just adorable together. Here is a vlive of them being cute He also has a few tattoos which isn’t really important but I always find it notable when idols have tattoos, maybe some of you all will feel the same. Jinwoo was previously in the group 1Team.

You can find Xen’s introduction video here

Jehyun

Jehyun (April 20, 1999) is another beautiful man. With stunning sharp eyes and a cat like grin, he has this mysterious beauty to him. He’s quite quiet, yet incredibly mindfull of other. You can tell in videos that he’s observing everyone, he’s also getting ready to tease whoever for whatever reason. He’s quiet yet playfull. He has the most endearing laugh as well. Here is a beautiful compilation of that. Jehyun is another one of those members who looks quite intimidating but the second he laughs it’s over. He really likes fashion and clothing as well, he frequently posts ootd pictures on the groups sns. He was previously member of 1Team.

You can find Jehyun’s introduction teaser here

Kevin/Jinwoo (yes there are 2 Jinwoo’s that’s why they have stage names)

Jinwoo (January 12, 2000) is undoubtedly the cutest member. He constantly has the other’s doting over him and he really seems to glow with the attention. I find it precious. Have this video of him legitimately doing nothing and being cute That being said Jinwoo has a serious side and it definitely comes out on stage, his cute appearance doesn’t stop him from having an impeccable stage presence and amazing deep toned voice. You can see both in this fancam. Jinwoo has such a great presence in the group, always seeming to be there when someone is in need, whether it’s Hangyeom needing someone to laugh or Sebin needing someone to hug. Jinwoo was previously a member of ENOi.

You can see Kevin’s introduction trailer here

Junghoon

Junghoon (February 14th, 2000) is hands down one of the most charismatic idols out there. He has this boy next door energy and is simply just a cool guy while remaining so sweet. He also just loves food, almost every vlive he’s done has involved food. Here you can watch one where he eats Korean corn dogs. Junghoon is also insanely talented at dancing, it’s crazy. In Omega X’s choreographies he moves like water, especially in ‘Love me like’. He’s just so fluid and I find him grabbing my attention alot for the way he moves. Here you can watch him dance He also often goes live with Hangyeom where they do dance covers. He is also basically the owner of the group’s tiktok account. Junghoon was previously in ENOi.

You can find Junghoon’s introduction video here

Hyuk

Hyuk (March 15, 2000) don’t let his sweet looks fool you, this man is an absolute bombshell. Hyuk likes to torture us, posting work out videos and dancing around on stage in mesh shirts etc. But he works incredibly hard for his body and takes great pride in it (as he should) In this vlog you can watch him work out Hyuk is also a very skilled guitar player, often going live to play covers for us. Here he covers IVE’s Love Dive with electric guitar And on top of all that amazing talent he’s crazy sweet and kind. Always showing us a bright smile and being cheerfull for his other members. He’s also recently taken up acting and appears in ‘Bad Girlfriend’. Here is one of the trailers for that. He was previously in the group ENOi.

You can find his introduction trailer here

Yechan

Yechan (May 14, 2001) our sweet maknae who doesn’t act like a maknae at all. He always makes a conscious effort together with Jihoon to communicate with the fans in ENglish so that everybody can understand. He’s incredibly thoughtfull but also quite witty sometimes and isn’t scared to show his hyungs love. He is great at alternating between vocal and rap position. He’s also good at playing guitar. Which you can see in their special ‘Liar’ performance Like Hyuk, Yechan and leader Jaehan recently have been cast in the BL drama ‘A shoulder to cry on’ as the leads. You can find more information on that here. Yechan was previously a member of 1the9.

You can find Yechan’s introduction trailer here

Congratulations! You made it this far

Now it’s time to talk about some less fun business. The current situation with Omega X. (trigger warning: mental and physical abuse) This twitter thread does a good job of explaining the situation. But I will be adding some things.

Yesterday, SBS news released the video of the in twitter thread mentioned audio. Here is the video In which you can see the group’s CEO Kang Seohee, yelling at and eventually shoving group member Jaehan. This is not the first time, as more fans and people who have worked with the group through this tour have come out to tell their stories about what they witnessed.

Here is also the crappy company statement that was released

The group was supposed to fly back to Korea on the 23rd of October, however the company cancelled their flights while all the staff flew back home aside from their manager (i believe this was all the remaining staff with the boys, I’m not sure) Leaving the group essentially stranded in the U.S.

Now today (25 October) it was anounced that the group would be flying back to Korea after contacting their families for funds to do so. Meaning they had to fly back with their own money. Not only is this absurd, the company should never have cancelled the groups flight and they should never have been left in a foreign country like that. Especially given the situation, they should have been at home with their families.

As of today, this is all the updates there are on this situation. We have no idea what will happen to the group, company, ceo, etc however we do know that this is not right. Kpop fan or not, Omega X fan or not, this is not right. So please, continue to spread this information, continue to post about and talk about it because the company and their CEO cannot get away with this.

That aside

Please continue to show these beautiful boys love and support as they will most definitely be needing it the next coming days, weeks, etc for however long this will take. Remember to not only post about the situation but also send positive messages the group’s way, they deserve that.

Have these fun pictures of the boys for a serotonin boost.

Please show love and support to Omega X

#omega x #kpop #bts #txt #enhypen #stray kids #ateez #a.c.e #the boyz #ive #blackpink

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justmochi · 2 years ago

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Toronto

pairing :: rosie

word count :: 0.4k

synopsis :: rosie’s ending ment in toronto.

time :: september 3, 2022

warnings :: rosie cries a bit. nothing too intense

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @ateezjuliet @fromfreesia

a/n :: she wee wee d all the way back to the hotel. the tears didnt even stop there. i also wrote this on the night of the toronto concert and forgot about it so i apologize if its short

“Oh Toronto!” Rosie pointed her mic towards the crowd, taking her earpiece out to hear the screams and cheers. “Did you have fun tonight?” It was so satisfying hearing carats echoing throughout the entire arena in her own hometown. She hasn’t lived here in forever, but she still felt there was a duty to be carried out when performing here.

“Ahh, you guys sound so beautiful.” She knew to leave pauses in between each of her sentences.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been here. We have all matured a lot, especially me. Actually, I wanted to come here for our last tour, but we couldn’t make it happen.”

She pouted her lips, looking around at the members by her side. “I was nervous for tonight. I made sure I slept well but I still feel antsy.” Any fan would be able to tell she was nervous from how much she was shaking.

“I always want to be an idol that you can look up to. I also wanna be remembered when people visit this city. I want people to be reminded of me whenever they come to toronto.”

Rosie squeezed her mic closer to her chest, tapping her feet on the stage as the crowd screamed louder.

“Now that I’m older, I only want to be the best for you. And tonight that responsibility is sitting very heavily.”

Seeing all the carat bongs waving in the crowd and all the loud cheers is what sent her over the edge. She tried hiding her tears with a pout, but eventually she had to turn her face away.

Her members began collectively scooting closer to the middle to where she was sitting, trying to cover her with smiles on their faces. She waved her hand, shaking her head as Seungkwan patted her back.

“She’s fine!” Joshua raised the mic to his mouth, laughing as the entire arena was filled with ‘awe’s.

Hoshi started chanting her name, the audience following soon after. He saw it as an attempt to hype her up and hopefully calm her down, but it only made her sob harder into her beanie that she took off her head.

As she collected herself, the members gave her space as she laughed it off. “I’m sorry.”

“I know my Dad was pretty against me becoming an idol, and it took months to convince you. So I hope tonight gives your mind some rest that your daughter is all taken care of, and that those years of hard work have finally paid off. I love you.” She bowed her head, sniffing and wiping the corners of her eyes once more.

“Most of my family and old friends are here tonight. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. And carats, I love you from the bottom of my heart and I hope you will have us back again. Thank you.”

#justmochi: rosie #rosie.writings #boosie #shusie #soonsie #14th member of seventeen #seventeen 14th member #fake seventeen member #fake seventeen oc #svt oc #fake svt member #fake svt addition #fake kpop addition #fake kpop idol #fake kpop soloist #addition to kpop

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astrobydalia · 4 years ago

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🌸OBSERVATIONS!! (finally lmao)🌱

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

It's been a long time coming! So happy for spring being finally here! Here's the long ass observation post you guys asked for. Since it's quite a big amount of observations, I've decided it'd be a good idea to number them so that it's easier to reference them. As always, enjoy them!

🌸 1. Lilith in the 2nd house can indicate something fishy going on with the relationship between the native’s parents.

🌱 2. Malefic placements such as pluto, chiron, Saturn or Lilith in the 12th indicates a lot of skeletons in the closet when it comes to family and family history

🌸 3. Chiron in Aries/1st house or Leo/5th house is kind of bitch placement. The person basically feels like they can’t be themselves and there’s a lot of self-denial and/or not accepting themselves, how they really are, what they really want, etc. Lots of self-esteem issues

🌱 4. People with sexual placements in the 2nd house (Mars, Venus, Lilith, Eros, ruler of the 8th house) base their self-worth on how sexually attractive they are. If they don't feel sexually desirable to everyone, they feel like they're shit

🌸 5. Lilith is what people think Pluto/Scorpio is!!!! All that stuff about magnetic, sexual and intoxicating but dangerous? Lilith.

🌱 6. Scorpio/Pluto in 4th could mean that the person had to work hard to survive something growing up. It could be poverty, their parents’ expectations, an early trauma, etc. Whatever the situation is, the native felt like they grew up in a high-stress environment where they had to endure and survive

🌸 7. When it comes to degrees, the higher the degree, the bigger or stronger the effect. For example Leo degrees (5º, 17º, 29º) are fame degrees. 5th degree would give small fame, 17th degree would be normal and significant fame or recognition inside the person’s field and 29th degree is moreso widespread or permanent fame

🌱 8. Saturn in the 5th house is a huge indicator of turning your hobby into your job. Also these people can be very awkward in their personality

🌸 9. I’ve noticed people with Neptune in the 6th (maybe 2nd) house may have been hospitalized and if Uranus or Pluto are placed here also indicates getting surgery or operations for health reasons

🌱 10. People with Uranus or Pluto in the 1st, 2nd or conjunct the ASC could get surgery due to aesthetic reason

🌸 11. Mercury dominant people (or strong Gemini energy in the chart) like to have or get things quick and easy. For example they prefer a straight forward summary over an in-depth and elaborated explanation with too many details

🌱 12. Your moon sign shows how you see your past. Your 4th house represent how you see your childhood. But your moon represents under which light you always view your past and everything that has happened in your life in general. It also shows the type of stuff from your past you tend to focus on. Since Cancer and Pisces represent past and remenaicence, that's why Cancer and Pisces moons have trouble getting over the past.

🌸 13. Your 10th house on the other hand is how you see your future. Whenever someone asks you “where you see yourself in 5 years?” your 10th house is the one that’ll be answering that question

🌱 14. Gemini moon/mars are the LEAST likely to hold grudges (unless chart says otherwise)

🌸 15. The house where you have your Neptune indicates the themes you tend to lie about, don’t give much info, say stuff about it that are misleading etc. and in consequence people might not have a clear/correct idea of this part of your life

🌱 16. Virgo risings rarely or basically never pose for pictures. They just look straight forward to the camera, sometimes smile and maybe make a small gesture like putting one hand in their pocket or tilt their head but that’s it. (Virgo = minimalism)

🌸 17. Scorpios really don’t give a single fuck they just DON’T 😭💀 Remember this sign is all or nothing, they either care too or don't care AT ALL

🌱 18. I said it once and I’ll say to a hundred times more: Geminis are not two-faced, it’s LIBRA!! Seriously Libras are the FAKEST people I’ve ever met. Why? Because it's ruled by the planet of love (Venus), which means Libra has a knack for being liked by everyone and making everyone feel liked. HOWEVER Libra is an AIR sign and air represents mind, NOT feelings. In conclusion, Libra can make you feel "loved" (venus) and still not give a damn about you bc its air nature makes them prone to emotional detachment. That's why they are able to roast you and make it look like they're complimenting you, specially when they have Scorpio mercury.

🌸 19. Just like you look at where’s the ruler of your rising sign to get more info on your rising, check the ruler of your Sun sign for more info on your personal identity (check sign and house). For ex. I have Virgo Sun in the 9th. Ruler of Virgo=Mercury. I have mercury in Libra in the 10th house which makes me more serious (10th house) and diplomatic/people pleaser (Libra)

🌱 20. If you found that you “couldn’t” do what’s previously described because you’re a Leo sun, check the degree and decan of your Sun

🌸 21. I’ve noticed mercury retrograde people are the type of individuals who always know exactly the right things to say. You’ll always see them take a couple of seconds before answering but they tend to give very good responses

🌱 22. I’ve noticed many women with Virgo Venus/Sun/MC/Lilith have been slut-shamed at some point of their life or they’ve been seen as promiscuous/sexual/etc.

🌸 23. Capricorn moons are not emotionless machines. The thing with these natives is that their mothers treated them like an adult the second they came out of the womb, so basically they skipped the “love and affection” stage and went straight to the “grow up” stage, but they can love really hard and real deep (Capricorn is deep down a very sentimental sign). They are very ride or die people tbh, they are very patient, accepting and understanding

🌱 24. I've noticed that people at first deny their rising sign in Vedic astrology, but eventually they end up accepting it and they actually end up relating to it a lot. I feel like this is because our rising sign in Vedic astrology is usually the sign of our 12th house in Western astrology, which leads me to believe that our 12th house sign is not our shadow side but more like our deep subcontious personality and that's why we have a hard time accepting it when we see it as our rising sign in Vedic astrology. It's like your rising sign (in western) is the director of the play but your 12th house is the energy that previously wrote the script

🌸 25. So many celebrities have moon in the 11th house. Also this placement indicates that you had a mother that put you out there constantly like posting everything about you on social media, bringing you to big events or your mom was “famous” in some capacity

🌱26. Gemini risings tend to believe everything they are told. More specifically, once they find someone that knows a little bit more than them they’ll believe everything they teach them and will most likely rely on them intellectually, for advice, guidance, etc. This is bc they have DSC in Sagittarius which makes them see the people they associate with as masters and mentors while, as a Gemini rising, they identify as an apprentice.

🌸27. Both 8th house and 12th house have been associated with secrets. The different is that the 8th house represents what you CONTIOUSLY and deliberately hide from others and most likely deny to yourself (or not, depends on the person). 12th house on the other hand represents subconscious, things that are hidden even from you and you didn’t even know were hidden. 4th house is not necessarily secrets, it represents privacy, like when people have a sanctuary to just relax, unwind and feel secure, that’s the 4th house.

🌱28. Sun or Moon in the 4th house will make you a sociable but private person.

🌸29. Sun or moon in the 8th house will make you an intriguing and mysterious person.

🌱30. Sun or moon the 12th house makes you a very elusive or wishy-washy person

🌸31. I’ve seen many Scorpio sun/moon/mars/rising individuals obsessed with the idea of being prepared for a catastrophe. They could be the type to, for example, have some saved cash just in case something bad happens with their bank money, have a backup account just in case their main one gets deleted, could have a “leave before you get left” philosophy, etc.

🌱32. Is it just me or the astro community talks a lot about Aries moons???

🌸33. I’ve noticed people with 4th house in Virgo could have been raised in a very judgemental household where there was lots of taboos and prejudice as to what’s right and what’s not and the family was too preoccupied with a perfect and immaculate reputation. For example could have been raised with values such as “only criminals wear tattoos” or “you should stay celibate till marriage or else you’re a whore”, etc. and if the native broke those rules they could have been very criticized and almost loathed by the family. They native could have been highly criticized in general by their family

🌱34. I’ve noticed women that have their moon harshly aspecting Pluto, Uranus and Mars or overall have a very afflicted moon tend to have very painful period cramps

🌸35. Something I have noticed with Venus or Moon conjunct Saturn people is that the concept of unconditional love sounds like alien language to them. That of course doesn’t mean they can’t love but they have this deep belief that they have to achieve something in order to deserve love and stuff like that

🌱36. Also, I just noticed that people with Saturn conjunct sun/moon/Venus/ASC, Capricorn big 3 or Capricorn degrees in personal placements have gone through IT man, specially on an internal level. I've noticed going through depression is a common theme for people with this Capricorn/Saturn influence

🌸37. Virgo Suns could often struggle to find balance between having healthy ego and being humble.

🌱38. Also people with Virgo+Leo energy are the MOOOOST judgmental people out there. Imagine ego mixed with a sense of knowing what’s correct. They tend to believe they’re morally superior and easily liable people as inferior

🌸39. The underdeveloped energy of a sign asimilates negative traits of its sister sign. For example underdeveloped Virgo is overly perfectionist and judgmental to the point where they have unrealistic expectations (Pisces)

🌱40. On the other hand the developed version of a sign is balanced out by understanding its sister sign. For example Leo knows they are unique and special and deserves recognition but understands everyone is also unique in their own way (Aquarius)

🌸41. I’ve noticed a person can very easily manifest the stereotypical characteristics of the sign that naturally rules the house where their chart ruler is. For example if someone’s chart ruler (ruler of the ASC) is in the 7th house the person can easily manifest stereotypical characteristics of Libra like being a people pleaser

🌱42. Sagittarius ASC/Mars people are all fun, amicable and outgoing.... until they don’t get their way. They will get away from people and situations that won’t give them what they want and they can genuinely dislike people solely because those people don’t let them have their way. They tend to go around life like they have a free pass to get away with everything they want.

🌸43. People with ASC-Neptune aspects don’t have a very reliable vision of reality or themselves to be honest. I don’t know how people with this aspect haven’t lost their mind already. They are prone to subconsciously manipulating or easily getting manipulated. With hard aspects this is a lot more obvious but I’ve noticed with easy aspects this energy tends to go almost unnoticed and they easily get away with stuff

🌱44. Have seen many famous people with North node in the 2nd, 5th, 11th and 12th houses specially

🌸45. Air risings or air dominance with Sagittarius placements/degrees are people who love cartoons/animations/videogames regardless of their age.

🌱46. When I got into astrology I didn’t understand why Sun is in detriment in Libra, but oh man... All Libras I’ve met had HUGE issues with trusting themselves. They doubt themselves 24/7 and that’s not even an exaggeration and I’ve noticed they actually may have grown up doubting themselves for some reason or they had a family (their dad) that caused this feeling in them. Also I’ve seen that those Libras with Scorpio placements feel like they have to hide something about themselves otherwise they’ll be rejected. Yes they are endlessly charming, but that's because they have essentially created their personality around the desire of being liked/accepted. They always need to feel they have SOMEONE. Their sense of self, INDIVIDUALITY, independence and assertiveness is lost in the process. Unless they have fire and specially Aries placements to balance this out they can feel like they have no personality and that’s why they are often perceived as fake or shallow.

🌸47. Literally ALL Virgo placements one way or another will always suggest a way to solve your problems when giving emotional support

🌱48. I have a theory that, since 4th house is how you were raised, your home and your parents, your 10th house is how you’d be as a parent yourself and the type of home you’ll create yourself

🌸49. Contrary to my expectations, I’ve seen priests having a much more prominent 4th house (many times combined with 8th house/Scorpio energy) than 12th house. People with 12th house placements or stellium seem to prefer artistic fields rather than classic spirituality

🌱50. The house where you have your Pluto is a house you just can NOT take lightly EVER. This area of your life feels like a heavy topic to you in some way (you are either obsessed with it, find It traumatic, get extremely defensive over it, find it spiteful, you feel everything goes wrong, etc, etc.) Can also apply to the house where you have the sign of scorpio

🌸51. In synastry, Venus falling in the 12th house creates a healing dynamic in the relationship, the connection can feel cathartic specially for the house person. The house person might tend to always be comforted by the venus person’s support, always feel better (or even energetically “cleansed”) after being with them. The venus person never judges the house person and accepts them and is always willing to be there.

🌱52. I’ve noticed this pattern in people with mutable moons where they have absent mothers in some shape or form. Their mother is very inconsistent, she always comes and goes. Very often the native may have felt like their mother always “left them be” (virgo moon moms put restrictions but eventually are rather flexible)

🌸53. People with cardinal moons have bossy mothers. In many cases they can have the type of mother that is constantly making decisions for them, like their mother decides what/where they’re going to study for example (the house tells what type of things the mother tends to make decisions on).

🌱54. People with fixed moons have possesive and protective moms. While mutable moons have absent mothers, natives with fixed moons have mothers that are ALWAYS there in some shape or form. At the very least the influence of the mother is always there and they always have this sense of “loyalty” towards their mom.

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

That's it for now, next observation post is just as long but much better, stay tuned and safe loves 💕

#astrology #astro #astro notes #astro observations #zodiac

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leolo404 · 4 years ago

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🦊Astrology Observations Pt.2🦊

Hello everyone! Am back with my second astrology observations post. I hope you enjoy it🧡 Also I recommend checking out the blog of @venusfun , her blog is really fun and informative. She's also my mentor in doing these astro notes🧡

⚠️Sidenote⚠️: Please take this with a grain of salt for not all of my personal observations will resonate you entirely.

GIF: NCT 🧡 Taeyong

🦊A well aspected Jupiter/Jupiter dominant can make someone look cute and chubby 💗

🦊While a well aspected Saturn/Saturn dominant tend to look tall and have mature features.

🦊I noticed that most Aquarius moons or risings are INTPs or ISTPs base on personality types (MBTI)

🦊Venus in the 9th House/Venus aspecting Jupiter or Uranus/Venus in Sagittarius/Venus in Aquarius can indicate someone who likes to try listening to other genres of music (Example: You always listen to pop music but you are curious about listening to heavy metal or jazz so you try them out and see if it fits your taste.)

🦊And they tend to enjoy listening to foreign music as well. (I have one of those placements and I love listening to Kpop lol and same goes for my friend who likes listening to Japanese/anime music)

🦊Your midheaven not only shows your public life, social standing, and destined career but also your representation which is why if your ascendant is how you see the world, your midheaven is how the world sees you.

🦊Gemini and Virgo moons are the most argumentive moon signs and they tend to love debating

🦊Speaking of Gemini and Virgo moons, they also are pretty much the most anxious or neurotic moon signs, maybe because of the mercury influence

🦊The degrees really play an important role to your natal charts, they can really influence you and affect your overall personality. (Example: I have my Scorpio sun in 5° and as we all know, Scorpios are known to be reserved, secretive, and mysterious but with that 5°(Leo degree) this makes me more open, sociable, and extraverted)

🦊Scorpio and Pisces risings have the most alluring and magnetic eyes

🦊12th house stellium(especially if it's in personal planets) in a composite chart can show that there are hidden agendas or issues in a relationship. There can be many problems with decision making where one wants something while the other is hiding their feelings of disagreement. This can indicate of having a lack of stating their true feelings because both partners are uncomfortable with it.

🦊Leo/Cancer/Pisces moons can go to the heights of self love to the depths of self hate. It's either they can go from being very confident and optimistic or very insecure and pessimistic. No in between 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️

🦊Aries moons are more sensitive than Cancer moons because cancer moons are more secured and protective with their emotions while Aries moons tend to be very expressive about it.

🦊Base on my experience, the two sister signs that don't always get along are Aquarius x Leo and Virgo x Pisces. Both Aquarius and Leos have very different values, Leo wants authority and rulership but Aquarius is against it due to them being humanistic and have this savior complex? While Virgo is the most human sign and is very down-to-earth which clashes Pisces' tendencies for living in another realm or feeling the outside world, more like fantasy vs reality.

🦊Air placements are so good at technology and networking.

🦊Air Sun/Moon 🤝 spamming in their group chats with random lyrics, foreign languages, or emojis when bored

🦊Geminis and Sagittarius can just be as indecisive as Libras, it's hard for them to choose and prefer to have their options open for more opportunity.

🦊We are under the age of Aquarius and you can really notice that this era consists of progressions, inventions, humanity, technological improvements, science, and rebellion against authority. (This is base on research only)

🦊Taurus/2nd House placements are really great at handling their finances. They are always careful with their money and can be really practical with it so they won't be wasting an amount of money with unecessary things, they have a strategy on how to balance it.

🦊But Neptune in the 2nd house may struggle when it comes to handling their financial terms. Please learn to prioritize your needs and wants so you won't be struggling 😭

🦊Venus in 2nd house do attract money easily and have no problems when it comes to financial issues but they have a tendency to overspend it. This can also resonate to both Libra and Leo Venusians.

🦊People who have their Pluto in the 1st house may experience hopelessness and confusion with themselves. They tend to be struggling with their inner self and personality. I have this placement 😔

🦊Scorpio is probably the only sign who experiences death and rebirth and tends to experience transformation constantly. This is the reason why Scorpio's final stage represents the Phoenix, we self-destruct and destroy ourselves then rise again stronger and better. (Applies to Scorpio Sun, Sun in 8H, Scorpio Moon, Moon in 8H, Scorpio Rising, Pluto in 1H, 8H and Scorpio Stellium)

🦊Having Aquarius in the 4th house can indicate that you are most likely the black sheep in your family.

🦊Virgo and Scorpio mercuries are very observant and speculative, they are like detectives. They know how to pick up clues and are good at researching🕵️‍♀️🕵️

🦊When provoked, Taurus/Capricorn Mars can go physical and it's very hard for them to be angered so when they are infuriated it's very unusual and frightening to see them like that. Virgo Mars are scary as well when they are vexed, but instead of going physical they are more prone to verbal fighting.

Btw my astro notes may include some relations to personality types, random zodiac theories, and some Kpop gifs for promotion and aesthetics lol but not always. This is my way of balancing all my interests out for good💃💃 Also thank you guys so much for the 100 followers, 🧡 I don't even know if I deserve this 😭

#astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology post #zodiac signs #horoscope #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #personal observations and notes

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