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#go on girl enjoy those fishies
cheeseproducts · 3 months
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woah...theyre just like me fr
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yongseungkim · 5 months
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#literally such a big part of me wants to go like#okay well if you and xyz are just friends#like truly just friends and you arent in denial/omitting the truth from me#have u considered maybe just maybe that it looks like you could be leading her on#the amount of time they spend together is kinda nuts#and its so funny cuz yesterday she was like talking about how her brain doesnt make those connections like#two other ppl before they started dating were spending copious amts of time together and i was like dont u see that?#and she was like no?? to me its like what if they just enjoy spending time with each other#and honeslty more than her i looked at xyzs reaction#cuz she looked STRAIGHT at her when they were talking about all that time they spent together.#bro idk i know she doesnt like to think but man she kinda should like#sometimes i think im insane but other times im like yeah if this was any other pairing of two people would def think smth fishy is going on#spending this much time with ONE person bruh like im her roommate now and i dont even spend nearly as much time#and she doesnt really invite me to do things when its the two of them which to me feels slightly weird from time to time#cuz im friends w both of em?? so it unintentionally feels exclusatory but thats okay lol im trying to let go#i know i feel hurt because shes choosing to spend time with xyz person too instead of with me#i know they have a different relationship too where its like both are on the more active side of things so maybe for her shes just like#oh this is my workout friend/buddy can do all the phsyical exercise i want#bc this girl can also keep up with her athletic demands but dear lordie#if she is telling me the truth as she believes it shes either in deep deep denial or shes leading this girl on for real like#they are just always attached at the hip and like the amount of physical affection bw the two has like#skyrocketed in the past month or so its nUTS#bro honestly i need to stop thinking about this and move on i cant keep getting pits in my stomach when i know shes out and about#and prob with xyz person lol
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pixlpxie · 2 months
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An Unserious List of Kinks I Believe Yunho Has Based on My Analysis and His Birth Chart
Please do not forget these assumptions are just for fun and are not real
This was literally my first draft ever it took months but here we are
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First of all, I don't get how yall think he is a softy that man is the epitome of hard dom he will make sure you know who is in charge
The only true dom in the group
Obsessive and possessive (duh) literally look at his birth chart
Has insane stamina, will go for rounds fucking you
Starting off strong and sure: This mf definitely has cosplay/dress up kink, there are no doubts. Have you seen the way that man's eyes lit up when a fan said I will dress up for you?? Yeah
So will def go nuts if you cosplay as spider girl or as his fave game characters, he ain't lasting a second
Which is why he probably likes to see you put on a show, with his taurus venus he probably likes looking at pretty things
Also why he enjoys lingerie a lot
Imo hes a huge hedonist and materialist, he has needs and desires that are difficult to satisfy and i don't think he can ever reach that high. So he will use you and your body for his pleasures a lot, that's also why he needs someone that can obey him
Won't keep his hands off of you for sure, the type to grab your ass in public no shame at all
His taurus venus combined with his scorpio placements, his touches and holds will be possessive. He will make sure you know that you are his (But that will only happen if he really wants you otherwise you might feel like you are being used for your body🤡)
The next one I am so fucking sure is his pain kink. Likes both receiving it and giving it. Esp electric shock. Again have you seen him literally reaching cloud 9 when he was hurt? idk man smths fishy here
Which brings me to the next point: He most likely is a sadist 🥰 luvly rly
He can enjoy dacryphilia, with that pisces mercury seeing your tears will get him going in an instant 🫴🏻
Will bite you, wherever he feels like although imo he'd bite your lips and make them bleed
Will not put up with your brat shit
Likes marking you but especially bruising you. Will also adore it when you leave marks on him, again burises. He already seems to bruise so easily (i feel you babe) so I feel like he would adore them post-sex
Size kink for sure, loves seeing you literally vanish beneath his massive figure
Likes when you praise him with dirty talk
Angry sex <3 jealous sex <3
Is quite vocal but he mostly growls and grunts especially when it's a kinkier sex, on the regular his moans are def low pitched
Sex under influence is something he will enjoy, whether it's drunk or high sex he will love it
Food play🏃🏻‍♂️ He will involve food during sex for sure
LMAO FOOT FETISH 😭 WE AINT MISSING ON THAT 🤾🏻‍♂️ (did that one pisces placement he has made him this way?? idk??) Enjoys both recieving and giving but id say giving more so def likes it when your feet is pretty (painting your nails and pedicure is def a turn on)
Like it or not he's a CNC typa man😋 loves forcing you and seeing you so ruined, controling you is important to him
In fact hes probably the only member to be heavily interested in darker and heavier kinks
He will be really sensitive with his 5 senses so he needs someone that can stimulate those senses
He doesn't want to get bored during sex, mental stimulation is important for him
Loves dirty talk
Humiliation and degredation™
Will force you to look into his eyes (But as a punishment he might never let you look at him either)
He is a slapper... He will slap and spank you a lot
Fake sympathy™
To me he's just that type of person to grab you from the chin, look you in the eyes and tell you "You wouldn't want it to be like this, would you princess?" Like he will threaten you subtly without being even mean
I might keep adding to the list so beware
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avoxrising · 10 months
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The Feral One • Chapter 3
Finnick x Reader
Series Masterlist Link
I wrote this on my lunch break to squeeze another chapter out for y’all! Enjoy :)
Content Warnings - panic attacks/breakdowns
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When the parade is about to start, the peacekeepers march you over to your chariot. They go to lift you onto it but you shriek, causing them to back up and aim their guns at you.
“Woah there,” Finnick states, slowly stepping between you and them. “What have I told you guys about touching her?”
“The tribute needs to be in the chariot,” one of the peacekeepers says.
“Can you uncuff her so she can pull herself up?” Finnick asks.
“No,” the peacekeeper grunts. By this point you are curled into a ball, doing your best to take deep breaths. Tears threaten to spill over and ruin your makeup.
“Hey hey hey,” Finnick says in a calm voice, crouching down to you. “I need to lift you into the chariot. It will be quick.”
You give him a slight nod as you stand up. He gets into the chariot, ensuring you can clearly see his hands the entire time. He’s probably flashed his prep team with all his moving but there’s not much he can do about it with the lack of clothes he’s wearing.
Tensing up, you let him gently lift you into the chariot. He’s careful not to touch you more than necessary. Despite basically living at your place, he always gives you plenty of personal space. However, sometimes you find yourself wishing he would stand the tiniest bit closer to you. He is your safe person, until your brain convinces you that he isn’t.
You nearly fall off the chariot as the horses lurch forward. Finnick grabs your arm to keep you upright and you go to punch him with your cuffed hands, only to remember that it’s just Finnick. You don’t want to hurt him.
“I’m sorry but you’re too pretty to be falling out of a chariot,” he whispers. You nod and do your best to wipe your tears with your hands.
The crowd booms as you enter their view with Finnick. Declarations of love for him are screamed while people shout vile words at you. Roses are thrown his direction, while you get hit with some small rocks and other hard objects. Finnick does his best to shield you but it’s no use.
You can feel him tense as the urge to protect you flairs up, but he can’t; not in front of sponsors. It’s bad enough that he’ll lose most of the sponsors once he allies with you in the arena. You both talked prior and reluctantly agreed that the best move was for him not to be overprotective in front of sponsors.
Another rock is thrown your way, this time hitting your cheek near your scar. That’s your breaking point. You can feel the heat rush to your head as your nails dig into the chariot. Finnick is panicking at this point. There’s no calming you down and you aren’t even halfway through the parade. If you make it back to the stables, he’ll have to sedate you.
You don’t remember the rest of the parade, or nearly attacking Linessa, or Finnick sedating you. What you do remember is the conversation you overhear between Gloss and Katniss as Finnick carries you to the elevator.
“So girl on fire,” Gloss says. “Though of any allies yet? Or are you and lover boy going to try to kill us alone?”
Katniss doesn’t reply but something must have tipped Gloss off to her potential allies.
“Those two?” he laughs. “Fishy and Feral? You’re dumber than I thought. Those two are sadists. They love killing people slowly, and watching the life drain from them. You’d be dead within two hours. Who knows, she might even eat you if she’s hungry. There wouldn’t even be a body left to bring back to your family.”
Finnick tenses up, having overheard their conversation as well. He carries you to the elevator and you fully pass out.
He’s sitting in your room when you wake up. His arms are covered in scratches and he looks exhausted.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean to.”
He shakes his head and walks over towards your bed.
“It’s ok,” he sighs. “Everyone is fine.”
“Is Mags fine?” you ask in a panic. “He, he said…”
“What did he say?” Finnick tenses.
“If I do anything crazy he’ll kill her, and you,” you sob. “I’m sorry. I can’t control myself.”
Finnick let’s out a long sigh and rubs his temples.
“Everyone is fine,” he states. “You didn’t break down until we were back in the stables. Barely anyone saw.”
“I don’t think I should go to training,” you state. “I’m not in control.”
“The peacekeepers informed me earlier that you aren’t allowed out of your room, for training or for the interviews. They’ve allowed me in here on the condition that I carry sedative on me in case you need it,” he explains.
“Mags?” you ask and he shakes his head. She isn’t allowed to visit. Finnick goes to get more ice for your bruises and you do your best to enjoy the remaining bit of sanity you have left.
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yopossum · 19 days
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Idk where this came from. Gif inspiration/depravity. Enjoy!
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Main Masterlist
Watching
Frankie Morales x Reader ficlet - M/E - voyeurism
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17:45. He knew your schedule like the back of his hand, and you never strayed from it. 17:00, leave work at the clinic. 17:37, pull into the garage. 17:45, walk into the bedroom and strip off your scrubs before stepping into the shower.
Sure enough, your door opened and you stepped into the room. Next, you’d lean your gorgeous tits against the window and peer out into the yard. Frankie called on his military training, slowing his breaths so he didn’t reveal his location among the foliage with his anticipatory trembling.
The buildup was always delicious.
The faded purple scrub top pulled taut around your chest when you pushed forward on your forearms at the windowsill. Frankie twitched in his cargo pants and his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip.
God, he loved to watch you.
You pulled your top off then, shucked down your pants. It was time. It was Pavlovian, the way Frankie’s cock began to throb and drip before you’d even finished disrobing. He pressed a broad palm over his swelling crotch for minor relief as you unhooked your simple bra, your plush breasts spilling out, heavy and soft. Next, your underwear. One of those little thongs you favored, no seams and silky. He imagined your smell, your taste, the musk in your dark nest of curls after a long day on your feet. Frankie bit back a groan and pressed the heel of his hand harder against his dick.
You were fully nude, now, and you hovered in the frame of the window like a goddamn painting, unhurried and immodest because nobody could see into your window unless they were in the backyard, which is why Frankie was in the backyard. He was salivating. Frankie thought, no, knew, that you were more beautiful than anything hanging in any museum. You were divine.
He watched, aching, as your eyes roamed around the scene below you. You didn’t do this. You should’ve been in the shower now. You were stalling, delaying, looking and he didn’t know why, but he was going to explode if he had to wait a minute longer to touch himself.
His hand edged to his zipper, the pressure becoming unbearable, when your gaze landed on the patch of lush tropical plants Frankie was currently tucked into. He froze, pulse pounding in his chest and between his legs.
Your eyes stayed locked in place as you opened the window. Shit, what was happening? You never opened the window.
“Hey!”
Frankie could hardly hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. He didn’t move an inch.
“I know you’re in the bushes!” You yelled out the window, unashamed of your nakedness as you called him out. “Are you touching yourself?”
Frankie was silent, for the first time in a long time totally unsure of his next move.
“Hope you haven’t yet! Sorry to ruin your game but I had a hell of a day and I need you to fuck it out of me in the shower. I’ll be waiting, Francisco!” You waved flirtatiously in his direction, the evening’s golden light making your ring glitter.
Frankie smirked, twisted his own matching ring around his finger, and shivered with want. It was 17:57 when he climbed out from his hiding place and sprinted up the back steps to join you.
Some Fishy friends ☺️ @jolapeno @jennaispunk @thesluttylittleknee @thelightsandtheroses @perotovar @inept-the-magnificent @bitchesuntitled @artsy-girl-76 @beefrobeefcal @schnarfer @maggiemayhemnj @whocaresstillthelouvre
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sugugasm · 2 years
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ORAL FIXATION - gojo satoru !
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SYNOPSIS : ❝ gojo teaches his bestfriend’s sister some tongue technology. ❞
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FEATURING : bestfriend’s brother! gojo satoru x fem! reader
CONTENT WARNING : minors do not interact, fem! reader, virgin killer! gojo kinda?? age gap ꒰ gojo is 30 reader is 20 ꒱ a little bit of mean dom! gojo [ he loves to tease ] gojo has a tongue piercing and i’m not sorry about it, gojo has tattoos, cunninlingus, squirting, fingering, use of pet names and profanity such as ꒰ sweet girl, angel, slut ꒱ AUTHOR’S NOTE : hiii, this is a re-upload for my friendship is magic series. as always, enjoy and reblogs n interactions are loved and appreciated <33. WORD COUNT : 3.9K!!!
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GOJO SATORU loved the beach.
the sound of the sea singing a song with its waves is one of a kind. it was soothing, delicate, and tranquil, like the sand beneath his toes. it was the ideal location for just about anything, whether it was a party, a get-away, or even a place to clear his mind— he adored it even with all of the drawbacks: the fishy smell, the scorching sun, and the various trash and plastic waste littering the sand—it was worth it. gojo was indeed capable of overlooking minor annoyances. besides, thanks to you, he had grown to appreciate the sticky sunblock covering his porcelain skin.
the pretty woman reclining in a pink beach chair next to him. you were leaned back, your legs crossed with a book in your hands, drowning out the sounds of the world around you. your hair was pulled toward the back, a baby blue swimsuit hugged your curves, and the sun shone brightly on you.
and you looked absolutely gorgeous.
gojo realizes he’s been staring at you for a little too long when he hears your small voice say, "see something you like?" and smirks in return. your teasing tone of voice only prolonged his fixed gaze. you knew what you were doing.
“you really wanna’ flirt with me while your brother is sleeping just inches away?” you stare back at him, looking at yourself through the reflection of those infamous, black sunglasses, “what are you going on about anyway?”
you shrug your shoulders and return to your book. satoru snorts at your carelessness. he didn't think traveling with his best friend on a family vacation would be difficult, but you seemed to have no trouble disproving him. you’d been acting out since the start of your seven-day retreat: flirting nonstop, embracing him a lot more than usual, and strutting around in these tiny skirts and dresses like a devious little minx.
he was well aware of your crush on him; it was obvious. not to mention the numerous times he's overheard you telling your little friends how 'cute' he was. he presumed that as you grew older, it would only be a matter of time before you began to act on your feelings.
“you’re playing a dangerous game here, yn.”
you twirl the gum in your mouth around your finger while lowering your glasses to look at him, “aww, poor satoru. would you like to forfeit?" you taunt while batting your lashes flirtatiously. you interpret his silence as agitation and decide to lay off, despite how it was entertaining it was to mess with him.
he was driven mad by you, despite his playboy persona. in a matter of a wink or two, he was willing to give it all up. sometimes you wondered why he hadn't made a move on you already. regardless of you being ‘off limits’ you would assume he’d catch on to your antics by now.
“why fight it, gojo?” you ask, piqued with curiosity, “is all the frustration worth the effort?” he chuckles lightheartedly in response. this small front you were maintaining could only be kept up for so long. he could tell by the way your body tensed up at the first hint of his attention that you were more bark than bite.
sounds like you both had a little crush— and satoru was determined to get you to admit that.
whether or not this situation was forbidden, he found himself wanting to see you as more than just his bestfriend’s annoying little sister. he’s seen the best of you, and the worst— but he loved every part of it. his attraction to you was becoming harder and harder to balance in secrecy— “you talk a lot of shit for a virgin,” satoru begins suddenly, “you’re a tease too, but i think you like the chase a lot more. you’ve just never been caught before, huh?”
you lie, “i don’t know what you mean,” and he nearly scoffs, “and i’m not a virgin by the way.” your attempt at being naive wasn’t your best performance, he saw right through you.
“oh i think you know. and are you sure? i can recall you leaving someone with blue balls the first time you tried. said he smelled bad, remember?”
yeah, you remember. it was quite literally one of the worst nights of your life.
“i don’t like liars, baby.” he glides his tongue across his top row of teeth, a piece of metal from the middle poking from his lips as he gets closer to your face, “but i’ll tell you what,” he continues, “why don’t you knock on my door later and show me what you’ve got? i know i may be scary, but i don’t bite— most of the time.”
his proposal sounded more like a step by step tutorial on how to embarrass yourself, but you weren’t the type to refuse a challenge. if you had to fake it till you make it, that’s exactly what you’ll do.
“fine. whatever. and handle that little friend of yours in your pants, it’s noticeable.” gojo peers down at the hard cock that poked through his swim trunks, smiling a bit when he catches you staring too.
“‘ little’ is much of an understatement. you’ll figure that out later on though, won’t you sweetheart?” the sound of geto’s heavy footsteps shuffling on the sand stops him from toying with you any further. he moves closer and motions for satoru to join him while holding a football in his hand.
“what are you two talking about?” he asks, juggling the football in his calloused hands. you abruptly shake your head from side to side, “just books,” you utter, smiling innocently up at his tall stance.
“lame. well then, you should be thanking the gods above that i’ve come to your rescue, huh satoru?” he jokes and satoru stays silent, his gaze still fixed on you as the conversation you just had rummages through the tabs in his mind.
“yeah, guess i should..”
geto gives him an odd look, but quickly ignores the awkward tension to begin their game of catch. you watch as the two boys vanish into the distance while wondering how the hell you were going to escape this one.
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evening comes quickly, with only the pale moonlight illuminating the dark night sky, you were finally ready to take on the challenge that was: gojo satoru. as you stood in front of your mirror adjusting your shirt and adding finishing touches to your flawless makeup, you prepare for the night ahead of you— but when it came time to use your room key to lock your beloved humble abode, you couldn’t help but to worry. the chances of getting away with this were slim, but when would you ever get another opportunity like this?
for crying out loud, he was gojo—a person you've been drooling over for years. even if you wanted to express your feelings openly, you weren't in a position to do so. he was your brother’s best friend— practically family to everyone other than you. the desire ran deep, but the last thing you needed was to come out like a desperate fool.
as you approach his room with a full head, anxieties and numerous ‘what if’s’ begin running circles around your mind. you raise your hand to lightly kick against the wood after sending him a quick text telling him that you were there.
a creaking sound of the door opening in front of you drowns out your thoughts as a shirtless satoru stands before you. his chiseled abs did your panties no justice— just like the small cross tattoo carved into his v-line.
when did he get that?
“see something you like?”
you roll your eyes as he mocks your words from earlier, “i guess the tattoo is cool," you shrug. gojo chuckles and moves aside, creating a gap for you to squeeze through. like promised, you discover that your brother is nowhere to be found as you scan the room.
"you look cute. dress up this nice for little ole’ me?” satoru takes a seat for himself on the crimson love seat and motions for you to join him. you do— after neatly putting your shoes by the walkway, you plop down next to him, deliberately making your thigh brush his own.
“don’t get too cocky. you’re not special.” you’re careful to mumble that last part quietly. you didn’t want to get to ahead of yourself— but if we were being honest, you were far past that point by now, because here you were: sitting next to a guy who you’ve wanted to pursue for so long. it was almost surreal, especially since you were about to partake in something so personal, so intimate.
“and what would i be cocky for? i asked you to join me tonight and you did. i must be doing something right, don’t you think, yn?” he tilts his head to the side and quirks a slick smile— it spread across his lips so easily, not even realizing how how much it’s making your stomach churn.
“why would i turn down a good time?”
ah, testing your limits— but still managing to keep it flirty. smart girl.
gojo uses your response as an opportunity to move a little bit closer to you. just enough room is left between your bodies so that his arm doesn't quite touch the back of your neck, yet he’s still so close. you almost believed he could smell your nerves like this— more like predator and prey.
“a good time, huh? think i’m some kind of professional?”
“could be. why else would you invite me here?” you ask. gojo soon detected that each of your inquiries were intended to stall the conversation; as a result, he decides to surprise you by asking, "why are we avoiding our wants?"
“i should be asking you that. i was waiting for you to make a mov—“
you’re taken aback when satoru plants a sweet smooch on your lips. they gently touch, but it’s enough to make you grab him by the necklace and pull him closer. his lips were incredibly soft and smooth, almost like a feather skimming across your mouth with each peck as his hands squeeze and caress your exposed thigh here and there. it was sweet, and everything began slowly, with your lips moving in unison against each other, exchanging a series of moans and groans.
“i’m sorry, but i had to shut you up somehow," he says in between breaths. he guides the pace of the kiss in slow motion, taking his sweet time tasting the mango flavored lip gloss you smeared on them beforehand. “you just looked so fucking pretty," he exhales, his chest heaving up and down with excitement.
“well then, don’t stop.”
you didn't have to tell him twice. this time, he attacks your jaw with pressure, “you feel really good, gojo," you moan, throwing your head back as he begins to bite and bruise your neck.
“yeah? im glad you think so, but i think i can make you feel way better, angel.”
as you feel his hand reaching for your waistband, the butterflies in your stomach flutter faster than before. but it was that exact gesture that jolted you to your senses, “gojo you can't. you know geto would actually kill you—” you object, but a small laugh escapes his lips and silences you.
“baby, i’m thirty, and i make my own damn decisions,” he interjects, “and it seems that you feel the same. you don’t think i can feel how wet that pussy is when it’s rubbing up against my thigh like that?”
he wasn't mistaken. you were certain that there was a damp spot on the inside of your underwear just from kissing. it was almost embarrassing, how quickly he’d gotten you there— but how couldn’t you when he was touching and talking to you like this.
"what if geto comes back before we finish? he’ll tell my parents, and you know how strict they are—" your rambling is interrupted by faint kisses to your cheekbone. gojo presses his knee against your cunt even more firmly and licks a long stripe up your neck—
“well i guess we’ll just have to try our luck, hm? now, what’s with all the running, sweet girl? just let me pet this pretty pussy why don’t ya?”
it only takes a simple ‘yes’ for him to scoop you up and carry you to the larger couch. he wastes no time peeling off your shorts slowly, leaving you in just your underwear. with each exhale, you could feel the air leave his nostrils as his face drew closer to the heat of your pussy. gojo briefly pauses to inhale your scent, the aroma immediately sending a wave of euphoria through his chest. he could feel his cock begin to rise all over again just from the smell of you alone.
“i wonder if you taste as sweet as you smell,” he states, “i think it’s time we find out, yeah?” he runs his thumb across the band of your underwear line, fingertips tickling your hips and eyes sparkling at the sight of you.
“fuck, please—gojo.”
he laughs, “now it’s please? just a moment ago you were chickening out on me. i think you should just come out and tell me what you really want.”
“don’t be a dick.”
as you begin to watch him peel your panties off, your hips wiggle from side to side to help shimmy away the fabric completely, your moans coming out as a light sigh. he maintains eye contact while doing so, making you far more nervous than before. you grab a hold of his wrist to pause his actions, “i’ve never done this!” you exclaim, and gojo gives you that sexy chuckle of his. as he places a gentle kiss on your calf, then toward your inner thighs, your face scrunching in embarrassment.
“you don’t think i knew that already? look at how responsive you are, baby.” he says this as he lightly glides his index finger over your swollen clit, flicking upward at the small bud before casting a bright grin at your whimpers, “i also know that virgins get wet so easily. i could do it again and you’d probably cum all over my hand, but that’s okay. make a mess. i don’t mind getting a little dirty.”
he kisses his way up your thigh, then looks you in the eyes as his mouth reaches your cunt. gojo began with a small peck to your clit, but hearing you wince and lift your shirt to better see him made him want to devour you right then and there.
“what if i touched you right here?” he uses his thumb and index to roll your bud between his fingers, the slight pressure making your body flinch, “would you cum for me?”
“y-yes. feel’s s-so good.”
“or, hm, what if I did this?” he lays his head against your thigh and begins to suck on your clit with sleepy eyes. “gojo, oh my god—” you cry in delight, raking your fingers through his snow-white hair. you didn't expect him to go to such lengths when he said he could make you feel even better. because of your sensitivity, even the smallest action would have pushed you over the edge.
"oh my, look at how you're trembling. that’s how good my tongue feels, huh?” he mocks you by licking a long stripe against your pussy with the flat of his tongue. the cool metal of his tongue jewelry flicked at your clit, making you shiver. he swirled and twisted his tongue around you as if he were licking on a lollipop— just eating you completely up.
“you taste so fucking good.”
gojo closes eyes and the smacking sound of your cunt was followed by grunts and whimpers of contentment coming from his chest. you could almost compare gojo’s audible reactions to those of someone discovering candy for the first time: disoriented and blinded by its sweetness.
truth is, satoru was completely infatuated by you. he was biting, sucking, and slobbering on your inner thighs and folds, leaving love bites and saliva trails in his wake. every moan you let out seemed to humor him, dark chuckles falling from his lips leaving a vibration to rattle through your core. he tried his hardest to keep it under control, but you were just too adorable to ignore.
“gojo—fuck, m-my stomach feels weird.”
you’ve had many orgasms from simply masturbating before, but something about this one seemed overpowering. there was a strong pressure on your lower tummy, almost as if you needed to go to the bathroom.
you begin to worry, hoping that the amount of pleasure to your sensitive pussy wouldn’t cause you to let out the wrong kind of release, but gojo quickly swats your anxiety away when he intertwined his hands with yours, “don’t worry, my love. it’s totally natural. you’re about to squirt for me, baby,” he mumbles it so casually and your eyes widen.
you can briefly remember seeing people do it porn, but you’d never done that before, let alone had someone else drive you to it. as weird as it was, there was something making you want to feel that bubble burst.
“can i take you there? please? i want it so bad, sweetheart— just give it all to me.”
his lovely words paired with his tongue were already plenty, but when gojo’s finger accidently brushes past your hole, the moan from your lips becomes louder than intended. gojo picks up on this, giggling a little as he detects your reaction to his mistake. he takes a break from licking to look up at you. you could clearly see his handsomely sculpted features sitting between your thighs right now.
his blue eyes were so intensely lighted by the fluorescent lighting that they could look right through you. his swelled lips were gushing saliva, and your heated slick was all over his mouth and chin. he looked like something straight out of a dream.
“oh? did you like that? don’t tell me i turned you into a greedy slut.” you were aroused more than you should have been by the degrading name, but you weren't one to complain. you eagerly nod your head up and down, whining a small, “mmmn— yes! i'm all yours,” as you move your hips toward his face, hoping he'll resume eating.
“hah, looks like someone wants to cum.”
you were dazed by this point. you were so eager to cum that you were willing to let anything get you there, and fortunately for you, gojo was more than willing to assist.
despite his desire to savor his meal, he succumbed to greed as well. allowing im to stick his finger in was just going to drive him insane. you could only imagine what he'd do if he was fucking you right now, because the sounds of your breathy moans were nearly enough to get him high.
he asks, “you ready?” as you watch him spit on his fingers before teasing your entry with his middle finger. you whimper, “y-yes,” and tighten your hold on your thighs, raising your legs in an effort to spread them wider for him.
gojo circles your hole before inserting only the tip of his finger. “you’re doing good, baby,” he says slowly, watching your every move and expression, wanting to make this as painless as possible for you. “how does it feel?"
“i-i feel good," you could only flutter your eyelashes as he moved his finger in and out of you, the creamy sounds of your warm slick staining his fingers being the only thing you could hear between you two.
your gaze is drawn to the veins protruding from his arm, which were brightening the inked patchwork he'd gotten all those years ago. when you turn to endure him, his gaze is already fixed on you, a grin on his face that was more determined than deviant, almost as if he was eager to finally make you unravel.
“toruuu! shit! that feels s-so—,” your hoarse voice tries to scream, but when he picks up the pace, you're officially silenced. he observes your eyes rolling to the back of your head as the tip of his finger flicks upward. your heat's squelching wetness easily tells him everything he needs to know, “you want more? it seems like this pussy does,” he chuckles. you were so close. he just needed to find that perfect spot.
he knew one finger would suffice, but he wanted to see you corrupt. he briefly teases his ring finger, which ironically had the mood ring you’d found and given to him a few days ago. you must not have noticed due to the sensations clouding your brain.
you feel this— the second finger, and you whine at it. you wanted more, so much more, “put it in! p-please, please.”you cry. you weren’t even concerned about the burn of the stretch. you just wanted him so badly, your lust was overruling your worry.
“relax for me. it’s just us, okay? it’s only us,” he reassures while slowly entering in that second finger. the words he was mumbling surely did sooth some of the pain, your mind paying more attention to the sound of his voice rather than the burning stretch between your legs.
“look at how easily you take me. wrapping around my fingers like this— you’re so beautiful.”
you were in a frenzy as you watched his fingers tap at the same spot over and over. for reasons you couldn't fathom, he was drawing you in closer and closer.
your stomach bubble reappears, but this time it appears to be about to burst: “toruuu —‘s too much,” as you groan and struggle to get the words out, he sticks his fingers in and out of your pussy. at this point, you begin to try to break free from his grip. maintaining he pressure on your abdomen was becoming increasingly difficult. "t-toru, baby, slow down!” a prickling sensation tapped against your womb, begging you to just let go.
“what was that? this pussy’s talkin’ over you— you have to speak up, love.”
the animalistic groan from your lips propels him to go faster and you cry out, “satoru! f-fuuuck, i’m gonna’ cum!” he seizes the opportunity to hover over you while pressing down on your lower belly, “cum for me, baby,” he groans, and your orgasm becomes more abrupt and violent as you begin to spurt droplets of fluids from your pussy.
gojo continues to finger fuck you until you're wetting up his arm and the couch beneath you, hollering out broken whimpers and releasing crystalline tears from your eyes. to calm you, he immediately takes his fingers and rubs light circles on your clit.
“you did so well,” he mutters as you sway his hand away from your poor, sensitive pussy, using your force to bring his face down for a kiss, your eyes blinking shut as you feel him scoop you into his arms bridal style.
eventually, satoru escorts you back to your room after cleaning you up and allowing you to shower for about thirty or so minutes, that way, you could finally lie down and relax, safe and sound after one hell of a night.
it wasn’t long after before your brother returned from his night out. he enters the room with a confused look on his face as he sees satoru cleaning up what looked like a wet patch on the chic furniture, “why’s the couch wet?” geto asks, sliding his shoes off his feet as he makes his way toward the kitchen.
“i had a girl over.”
satoru’s response sent a shockwave through his chest, “you? a girl? no way. who?” he bites into his sandwich and rushes to a seat near his best friend, excited for the details.
“i don’t kiss and tell.”
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©️ SATORUBI 2023 please do not copy, repost as your own, or translate any of my work without my knowledge &lt;33
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tagging my lovely’s <33 : @spoiledbunny @venusflytrapstar @lemonadebreeze @f4iryvile @neesiewrote
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tcfactory · 10 months
Text
I have Other Projects that need writing first, but I have this mighty need for like. An SVSSS fic with Shen Jiu getting Tianlang-Jun out from under the mountain for whatever reason, consequently gaining just the worst kind of meddling gremlin matchmaker who is now dead set on fixing his life.
Shen Qingqiu is going to get therapy whether he wants it or not!! Tianlang-Jun can't go enacting vengeance on Huan Hua yet and has nothing better to do with his life right now! Zhuzhi-Lang, tell the prickly immortal master that this is for his own good! Attaboy.
Did I write almost 3k words of an outline for a fic I don't currently have the spoons to write and might never get around to? Yes. It was originally a twitter thread here, enjoy the very lightly edited details of this madness under the cut:
Maybe some business takes Shen Qingqiu near the mountain and curiosity bites him to see the sealed demon emperor - to see how good of a job stupid Qi-ge did because his shizun is singing praises about how Yue Qingyuan did the main seal and without him the whole thing would fall apart.
So he hides his presence - can't have the head disciple of Qing Jing Peak snooping around after all - and goes to take a look. It's soon enough that Tianlang-Jun is not completely out of it yet, he's humming and reciting and singing to himself in the dark to stay sane.
It gives Shen Qingqiu pause because he knows that song the demon is singing in a voice that would be surprisingly nice if his throat wasn't halfway crushed probably. One of the jiejies at the Pavilion sang it to him once when they were talking about composing, one music master to another. She composed it before she came to the city, for a likeable if spoiled young master, who then fell in love with an upstanding cultivator and kindly paid her ten times the original commission fee to please don't ever perform it in public because his beau is the jealous type.
So how does Tianlang-Jun know the song, Shen Qingqiu wonders. There's something very fishy about this. The songstress spoke only highly of the 'spoiled young master', but now that he thinks about it the timeline seems to check out... So he sneaks closer to investigate.
Tianlang-Jun hears him approaching and turns towards him. There are talismans over his eyes so he can't see Shen Qingqiu, but he quietly asks "the immortal master" to please don't be loud, his dear nephew have only just now fallen asleep. Poor Zhuzhi is running himself ragged trying to keep his uncle's spirit up and trying to find any crack in the talismans, but he already reverted to his original form and can't do much. He's curled up next to Tianlang-Jun so his uncle can just barely rest a hand on his head and is deep asleep.
Shen Qingqiu can't resist commenting on how hideous Zhuzhi-Lang is and Tianlang-Jun agrees but insists this is his nephew they are talking about so could the immortal master please not pick on his sweet hardworking Zhuzhi-Lang? Ah, master, did you know in some parts of the demon realm this counts as flirting? No?
They talk some more and Shen Qingqiu is mystified by how cordial the demon is - "What point is there in wasting my energy on raging against you, master Shen? You were not one of those who sealed me and my throat hurts so much afterwards you just wouldn't believe. 0/10 would not recommend."
Gets confirmation that yes this is indeed the 'spoiled young master', he does remember the girl he hired to write him a song, he now regrets terribly that he didn't just stick with it instead of running after romance. Was the money enough for the girl to buy her contract? Oh good. He was worried he didn't give enough.
And the more he hears about Tianlang-Jun's shenanigans in the human realm, the more Shen Jiu has Doubts about what went down. A man who fusses over his unfortunate, hideous thing of a nephew like Zhuzhi-Lang is the most precious good boy, who pretends to be drunk and 'accidentally' rents out a whole brothel for a week so a violent young master and his buddies can't hurt the girls while they are visiting the city is about as high up on Shen Qingqiu's 'good person' scale as a man can ever get, regardless of what else he is.
Shen Qingqiu has a good sense for Men That Are Better Avoided and Tianlang-Jun is tripping none of his badtouch feelers - very much unlike the Old Palace Master. Zhuzhi-Lang eventually wakes up and tries to scare Shen Qingqiu off, with mixed results. His unusual loyalty to Tianlang-Jun is noted, however.
So Shen Qingqiu goes back to the sect and hatches a Plan. It involves Mu Qingfang who knows all sorts of truth pollen, Shang Qinghua who can source basically anything they need and Yue Qingyue because stupid soft-hearted Qi-ge would not stand for being complacent in injustice. Plus they can count on his good nature to cover their asses if they are caught. Always good to have a backup plan in case they get in hot water, head disciples of a notable sect sneaking into another sect's territory to tamper with the sealed heavenly demon emperor.
It is fortunate that Tianlang-Jun currently can't see and Zhuzhi-Lang has no words to tell him Yue Qingyuan is there, because all Shen Qingqiu told him was that they are not with Huan Hua and that he wants to get to the bottom of this - preferably so he can dig a hole there and bury the Old Palace Master for good, the wording of which highly amuses the demon. So Tianlang-Jun is very cooperative, for the relief their company brings if nothing else. They hear all about his enthusiasm for the human realm (now a little bit dampened, he admits with a strained laugh) and figure out that he can't keep a serious lie up for more than 5 minutes. He probably could, Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua agree, finding common ground in their mutual bullshit/lie-radar, but it's not in his nature. Shang Qinghua mimes checking with his sources, goes for a good round of complaining to his ice prince, then returns having 'confirmed' Tianlang-Jun's recounting of the events.
So next point on the agenda: fixing this shit. Getting Tianlang-Jun out and finding out what happened to Su Xiyan. After that: finding a pit of demon ants they can shove the Old Palace Master into for a slow death, getting him to confess all his crimes in writing beforehand optional.
Getting Tianlang-Jun out is easier than anticipated because the sect leader was only exaggerating a little when he said the Yue Qingyuan's seal is the thing holding the whole binding together. With it willingly undone Yue Qingyuan can go wreck the other bindings with his cursed sword to weaken it further. Tianlang-Jun has only been under the mountain for a few years so he's not completely depowered, and after Mu Qingfang gives him some very rare demonic boosters ("Shang-shidi, stop shaking, nobody is going to ask where you got them!") he can break out no problem. It comes with a huge earthquake tho, so they must make a run for it. Huan Hua does find out that Tianlang-Jun got out as a result, but they are not suspected of freeing him for now.
They must hide the still recovering Tianlang-Jun and the now conveniently humanoid Zhuzhi-Lang and they need to track down what happened to Su Xiyan - which is probably the easiest, because Zhuzhi-Lang can remember her scent and her qi and he's a demon snake so he can use those to track her path, even years past. They find no Su Xiyan, but they do find baby Luo Binghe and that makes things uuuh. Not really better, honestly. The washerwoman is glad that the father came to track the child down, he looks like a very upstanding young master ("How?! He looks one bad step away from feral!"). Nobody listens to Shang Qinghua and Zhuzhi-Lang when they try to explain that maybe Tianlang-Jun as a single father is not a great idea, but they are kind of short on great or even passable ideas so they will take it.
Mu Qingfang however discovers the seal on Luo Binghe and declares that it shouldn't be carelessly undone. So they can't go and hide in the demon realm with effectively human baby Luo Binghe and while Tianlang-Jun can actually hide his demon nature very convincingly, they can't go around with Zhuzhi-Lang being so clearly recognizable.
Shang Qinghua and his plot devices to the rescue!
It's the flower of a very rare demonic plant with the ability to change half of a mixed-origin demon's nature - was originally meant for a wife plot with a demoness with similarly incompatible heritages who of course turned into a beauty afterwards...
Heavenly demon blood is very resistant to tampering, but nothing stops the flower from changing poor Zhuzhi's snake half - in this case to that of a human, for easier blending in purposes. Zhuzhi-Lang is not happy about this, but he can see the merits in it.
The drawbacks: the flower blooms once every three centuries (Shang Qinghua gets Mobei-Jun to steal a preserved bloom for him from the Northern treasure vault) so if he changes, he can't change again until then, quite a few decades from now. He will be stuck as half-human. He would lose all his snake traits, which he is not happy about.
The pros: easier hiding among humans, if something happens and Tianlang-Jun dies for real he won't turn back into that awkward half-snake form. He would remain humanoid.
The neutral: Mu Qingfang realizes that his mental health is depended on his snake familiars and sets Shang Qinghua to get a bunch of very rare ingredients for a potion of permanent speak-with-sneks. The family resemblance between Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang is more obvious so they can pass him off as Tianlang-Jun's son to make their made-up backstory more coherent. Mobei-Jun is a little suspicious about Shang Qinghua's sudden interest in rare demonic things, but mostly he's happy that his human is asking things of him, and he can start working off the life debt he owes Shang Qinghua. He might teleport into the middle of shenanigans and get drafted into the madness.
Zhuzhi-Lang never looked very old, but he looks maybe 13-14 now. So after overhearing Shang Qinghua's mumblings that they will have to get Luo Binghe into the sect to start cultivating before his seal is broken so he has the basics of cultivation down, Tianlang-Jun gets a wonderful idea. And unfortunately, the person in charge of babysitting 'runaway young master single dad' is Yue Qingyuan who feels too guilty about sealing him under a mountain to oppose him before it's too late. They end up similarly sealing Zhuzhi-Lang so he can 'scout ahead' and as 'the big brother' prepare a spot for Luo Binghe in the sect.
It's bit of a tossup who gets the newly renamed Luo Yuxi shidi, but Shen Qingqiu will probably call dibs, let's be honest. He can't trust Yue Qingyuan not to go along with more madness and Zhuzhi-Lang has no talent for medicine (and he is getting really fond of Mu Qingfang, nope, not under Shen Qingqiu's watch!). And he still doesn't trust Shang Qinghua, period. They are all in this together and yes, they are terribly entangled with demons and schemes now, but he's not letting Shang Qinghua off the hook for already being all that and strangely knowledgeable about things to boot.
Tianlang-Jun moves into the city with Luo Binghe, fully leaning into the whole 'rich widow who ran away from his responsibilities after tragic death of wife' angle, takes on the washerwoman to help with the child rearing and almost accidentally builds a spy network (he calls it 'gossip club'). And what better gossip than what Zhuzhi-Lang brings him from the sect! While Shen Qingqiu and the others work their way up to peak lords, Zhuzhi-Lang makes it to head disciple instead of Ming Fan (he's just barely categorized as next gen compared to the Qin lords, due to how long it takes him to get the hang of human cultivation as opposed to demonic power) and passes all the juicy bits to Tianlang-Jun. And what juicy bits they are! He could write a romantic tragedy about QiJiu from all the details Zhuzhi-Lang overheard and/or strongarmed Shang Qinghua into telling once Mobei-Jun accidentally let it slip that Shang Qinghua might be something of a seer.
Actually, not just could, he does. Names and identifying details are tastefully changed - and he does a somewhat better job of it than Mingyan, so it's not immediately traced back to Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan. Partially because unlike The Regret of Chunshan, Tianlang-Jun's chosen medium is prose, so it doesn't catch on that quickly.
He can't help himself tho, it is still a yellow book, so there is a lot of added spice to that tragedy that decidedly did not happen and Shen Qingqiu will hound him about when he finally hears about it - lucky thing that Shen Qingqiu doesn't find out until after Tianlang-Jun decides he wants a happy end and starts meddling to make them reconcile/get together. Zhuzhi-Lang is happy that his uncle is busy trying to set Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan up because it means Tianlang-Jun doesn't realize that Zhuzhi-Lang started dating Mu Qingfang somewhere along the way. Luo Binghe grows up happy and spoiled rotten by his father, his Zhuzhu gege and several uncles, including Mobei-Jun.
Linguang-Jun eventually notices that his nephew keeps disappearing to the human world (to babysit Luo Binghe, mostly, but he still often sleeps in Shang Qinghua's room) and comes to investigate, only to be fully drawn into all the matchmaking shenanigans and maybe get surprise wifebeamed by Tianlang-Jun. Tianlang-Jun might cause a ceasefire between Linguang-Jun and Mobei-Jun by accident because the relationship between Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang makes Linguang-Jun reconsider his hate towards Mobei-Jun. He still doesn't approve of Mobei-Jun marrying Shang Qinghua though! Seriously Mobei, at least pick a bride who notices when he's being courted!
Liu Qingge shows up at one point, probably, trying to investigate what's going on with those four suddenly becoming like peas in a pod. Idk what he would achieve other than get underfoot, but he tries his best. Tianlang-Jun might dupe him into becoming his sparring partner, by pretending to be "Luo Tianlu, absolutely legit rogue cultivator who retired into a secular life and settled down as a young master with his two sons". Shang Qinghua finds it funny, so he helps Tianlang-Jun forge evidence for his fake identity.
Binge's gay awakening is one day realizing that the annoying shishu who likes sparring shirtless with his dad is really hot actually. He still ends up on Qing Jing Peak because Tianlang-Jun would cry if his son didn't become at least somewhat aware of arts, and he doesn't want to disappoint his dad. But the Endless Abyss arc is basically just a big Training Montage of Luo Binghe trying to become a worthy challenger to court Liu Qingge. When he finds Xin Mo he leaves it the fuck alone because the adults have taught him not to touch obviously evil swords whispering questionable promises. Besides, he can ask Mobei-shushu to teleport him home - or airdrop a very protective and ridiculously overpowered Tianlang-Jun in - any time he's in actual danger. It's a little bit embarrassing, but Shang Qinghua taught him that surviving is worth a little embarrassment, and he should know, right?
Airplane gets to watch the disaster of a setting he wrote spin towards multiple happy endings instead of tragedy, to the tune of a song about a spoiled young lord, because it was Shen Qingqiu and the others who set things in motion and it fried his System.
He likes it better this way.
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goldenpinof · 10 months
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curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)
under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.
no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.
ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.
i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)
i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.
i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)
i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.
is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.
other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:
i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.
i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.
i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).
with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.
i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.
if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.
in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3
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1eonsk · 2 months
Text
I don’t have a cool title for this, but I listened to this playlist on spotify while writing this! I’m also not usually a bottom Leon stan but it just felt right. I’m not confident in my smut writing so fr give me feedback pls. Enjoy!!
(if we want more parts lmk)
((sorry for any typos i wrote this at work))
Leon x Reader x Ada btw
“Am I gonna have to catch you here again yln?” Leon says, annoyance on his boyish face.
Officer Leon Kennedy has been in the force for about six months, you and an ally being his case for about four of those months. He always seemed to be right on your toes. Finding you in robberies, car jacking, unregistered firearms, you name it, he’s caught you.
And somehow, someway, you always found your way out. Leon can never find out why, the sheriff started to get on his ass for just how many times you haven’t been charged. The saw it to be fishy, interrogating Leon more times than you’ve been in cuffs.
You sit in the interrogation room, hair pulled back blowing your baby hairs out of your face. A small smirk on your face, Leon sighs. You know damn well Ada should be here by now, although seeing the blue-eyed police officer was the highlight of your day. His stare meets you head on, face void of emotion, minus a slight pink hue on his cheeks.
“I dunno Mr. Kennedy, don’t you have fun with our little chases? Cat and mouse play is not what I thought you were into.”
His pink cheeks become warmer, a small giggle leaving your lips as he scoffs, “Keep it clean yn.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Ada’s voice rings through the intercom. Your smile turns into a grin, while Leon’s face pales. He quickly turns to see the door opening.
Ada’s black body-con dress hugs her curves, her face softening making eye contact with you. Leon stands quickly, pulling his gun out and aiming directly at Ada. She smiles, placing her hands up in a surrendering motion.
“There’s no need Kennedy, we’ll just be on our way out.”
“Like hell you will!” He says, face hard.
“Oh c’mon Kennedy!” You whine, pouting. “Just let me go this once? I’ll be a good girl from here on out! I swear it!”
Leon’s face darkens with pink yet again, this guy can never catch a break from your flirting can he? Your smile turns into a smirk when he shakes his head, pointing his gun at you next.
“yn, this is the last time you’ll see her outside of prison bars. You’ve done way worse things than robbing a bank, and yet, thats why you’ll finally be put away. For good.”
Suddenly, Ada lunges at Leon. As they fight over the gun you easily make your way out of the cuffs. The bobby-pin in your pocket becoming a normal occurrence. Leon is pinned face down on the table, Ada close to his face. Your stomach warms, seeing him pinned down like this feels way more criminal than anything you’ve ever done.
“Don’t worry Leon, I’ll keep our baby out of trouble. Be a good boy and give us a head start at least, yeah?” Her voice low, making your stomach churn with lust.
“You go first babe!” You say happily, moving to hold Leon down. You press a kiss on Ada’s lips, making sure Leon sees.
His eyes burn with desire, whether or not he says it out loud it’s not hard for everyone to see. He attempts to wiggle out of your grasp.
“See you at home, behave this time. No more stolen cars.” She pushes hair out of your face.
“But-”
“No. Stolen. Cars.” Her voice is firm, eyebrow raised. You nod, pouting.
As she sways out of the room, Leon begins to struggle harder. He grunts as you push down harder. You lean close to his ear, hearing the subtle change in his breathing. Your stomach churns again. Desire fills your every thought.
“Please be good, I swear I can make it worth your while.” Leon stiffens, hitting his forehead against the table.
“My job is to catch criminals, not make deals with them.” He says through gritted teeth.
You smile softly, moving your forehead to rest against his shoulder. He stiffens more (if possible at this point.) Your hand grips his wrists harder, letting out a loud sigh.
“If you would give us one night, all of this could go away.”
You let go quickly, sprinting out of the door. Moving quickly out the door Ada left open, you hear Leon shouting something. He’s too close.
You make it out on the street, navigating quickly and smoothly through the traffic and people walking. You hear Leon shout your name, turning to face him.
His face is overcome with a glare, bright red cheeks. Your smile turning into a grin, pulling your hair down from your pony tail you bow dramatically and begin sprinting. You move through a familiar alley, hearing Leon close by. You hide in a doorway, waiting for his footsteps.
“Shit! What the fuck!” He shouts, covering his face with his hands. He reaches for his radio, but isn’t able to send out his message before you dive at him. Tackling him to the ground.
“Gotcha!” You move to pin his hands behind his back again, sitting on his back.
“See! Isn’t this fun?” You say cheerfully. His grunts become louder, more frustrated. “I’m sorry, for what I’m about to do. This is the only way I can get you to cooperate with me.”
You knock him out, his grunts and curses end abruptly. Ada appears from seemingly no where. Her face grim, she leans down and pushes hair out of Leon’s face. Staring you down with an angry look.
“What? This really is the only way we could do this and you know that.” You frown, she presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Let’s move quickly then yn, get him into the car.” She stands as you move to lift him. “Maybe this time, he’ll listen.
Leon wakes to an unfamiliar room. His hands are cuffed to the bed frame, mouth gagged with a cloth. You sit at the edge of the bed, staring off with tears in your eyes. He grunts as he tries to pull his hands away from the bed frame. Your head snaps to him, tears falling from your eyes. You move quickly to the side of the bed, petting his hair and removing the cloth.
“I’m sorry, please don’t be upset. You wouldn’t listen to us, please just give me a moment.”
He looks down at his chest and his heart drops at the sight of no clothing, just his underwear. He whips his head to you, growling.
“What did you do-?”
“No-no-no! Wait, we didn’t touch you! We don’t have air conditioning and it’s hot so- I took them off- you were sweating a lot!” You say, panicked.
“What am I doing here? Who the fuck is we?” He says, anger on his face. He’s breathing fast, Leon looks around attempting to gather his surroundings.
“It’s just us Leon.” Ada says. You stare at her with more tears falling out of your eyes. “She just thought it would be better for you, after I specifically told her it was a bad idea-”
“I just thought.. it-” you say, more tears welling in your eyes.
“Getting me naked was not the move yn.” Leon says. He doesn’t know why, but he feels inclined to cheer you up. He meets your eyes, his gaze dropping to your lips for a moment before looking into your eyes again. He hates that you’ve engrained a soft spot in his heart, although he’s never going to admit to that. You sniffle, moving to sit in front of Ada, your body facing Leon.
“It’s okay sweetheart,” Ada says, petting your hair. Her fingernails scratch softly at your scalp, you shiver.“Talk to him, this is what he’s here for.”
Leon watches closely and she drags a finger nail down your cheek, to your neck, then to your chest finally meeting your-
“Officer Kennedy,” You say, interrupting his thoughts he definitely shouldn’t be having. “I want you, we both do.”
Silence fills the air, he tilts his head in confusion.
“Uh-Okay? So why am I tied up? I still don’t get why I’m even here. What’s going on?”
Ada’s hand stops groping your breast, you both freeze. A good minute of silence later she snorts pulling her hands to her face. You blink rapidly, shaking your head. No, no way. He has to get it right? Is he fucking with the two of you?
“Kennedy, babe,” Ada speaks, her smile apparent in her voice. “She wants you to join us.”
“I’ll never become a criminal. Especially not at this rate.” He says without missing a beat.
Ada snorts again, your mouth drops open. Leon’s cheeks become a bright red. His head tilting again, still confused. You turn around to Ada, a question in your expression. Leon takes the both of you in as you talk quietly.
You have nothing but a tank top and underwear on, Ada is still fully covered in her dress from earlier. The soft candlelight makes it hard to see the two of you very well, but he can spot makeup on the both of you. There’s faux fur on the cuffs, and a vibrator on the bed-
“Oh.” Leon says suddenly, his face darkening with even more color.
You and Ada turn quickly to face him, a blush on your cheeks as well. Leon looks embarrassed, he feels stupid. His head drops and he sighs. When he regains his composer, he meets your eyes, rolling his in annoyance.
“All you had to do was quit fucking up my city’s crime rate and ask yn.”
Your face morphs to shock, even darker can be seen even in the subtle lighting. His eyes drift to your legs, you shift uncomfortably. Ada places a hand on your shoulder and you stop. His eyes meet Ada’s gaze.
“Are you in charge Ada?” He says, his voice an octave lower. Your stomach churns.
She places her hands on your shoulders. Pushing the thin straps down, slowly. Her hands are soft, she smells like vanilla. You whine when she removes her hands just shy of touching your breasts. She kneels next to your ear and whispers something Leon can’t hear. You begin to crawl towards him, settling on his lap. His breath hitches as you lean forward, pressing your lips to his softly.
This kiss feels too intimate, soft and unsure. He pushes forward, his hands grip the cuffs. You can feel him hardening beneath you. You press harder, and the kiss quickly becomes hungry. You pull back, placing your hands on his chest to keep him still.
“If I take off the cuffs, you won’t run?” You say, your face serious. You still sound unsure, still torn up by having to know the poor kid out to get him here.
He’s taken aback by the question, his hard on should’ve been enough proof he wouldn’t. He looks deep into your eyes. Not able to sense any sort of malice.
I guess they both really do just wanna do this.
He nods, eyes on yours. He shifts, a small noise leaving his lips. You smile happily, going to remove the cuffs. He sees Ada moving quickly behind you. Her hand covers yours, staring directly in Leon’s eyes.
“Not yet, keep going.” She says, her voice firm. Your head whips to her, a pout on your lips. She stares into your eyes, shaking her head. You frown harder and remove your hands.
You both lean towards him, your lips on his while Ada begins to suck on his neck. He lets out a breath. Leon gasps when you push your tongue into his mouth, at the same time Ada uses her teeth on his neck.
Your hands move to his underwear, running a finger down his member. He shivers and you pull away. Moving quickly to remove your shirt, his underwear quickly following. You sit on his thighs, using your hand to stroke him slowly.
“Is this okay Officer?” You say, looking at him through your eyelashes.
He moans softly, nodding quickly and bucking his hips. Just how wrong is this?
He pulls at the handcuffs again. Ada stops covering his neck with hickeys, and moves to slowly remove the cuffs. Leon pulls her into a heated kiss, you moan around his cock and Ada pulls away. Leon whines but moves to grope your breasts, another moan leaving the both of you. Ada hums, moving to sit with Leon between her legs. Her dress is hiked up past her thighs, Leon shivers at her warmth.
“Isn’t she gorgeous?” She says into his ear, a whine leaving your lips. Leon nods quickly. She pulls his hands away, the both of them watching you move quickly around him.
You move faster around his cock, Leon whimpers loudly. As you take him, Ada smiles kissing his neck again, she moves to push his hand into your hair. He grips hard, you move quickly up and down his cock, your head bobbing and tongue moving like clock-work.
“That’s my girl yn, just like that.” She says, both you and Leon whining.
“We practiced this,” she says, her voice level. “We used our toys and all she talked about was how much she wanted you. We loved teasing you Kennedy, it made her so wet.”
Leon gasps loudly, throwing his head back. He moans, before attempting to push you off. Your head rises with a pop.
“Please- I want- can I-”
“You wanna fuck her Kennedy?” Ada interrupts, her nails lightly scratching his stomach. He nods quickly.
“Yes- please? I’ll be so good please!” He begs, he almost sounds like he could cry. You’re breathing quickly, shifting your legs. Leon feels Ada nodding at you, and he moves to push you under him.
“C’mon baby, give him what he wants, you’re both being so good for me.”
You lay down, your head on Ada’s thighs. She runs her fingers through your hair. Leon kneels at your cunt, positioning his cock at your hole. You whine, feeling him press forward.
“I’ll go slow.” He says, eyes staring at himself entering you.
“No, she can take it. The whole thing, now.” Ada says, her voice commanding.
You whine as he presses all of himself into you. You moan and the same time, Leon’s infinitely louder. He’s breathing fast, head bowed, eyes closes. He looks at Ada before thrusting carefully, before speeding up.
“There you go,” She says, “Take him, you’re doing so good. My pretty babies.”
Your gasps, Leon’s moans, the slapping of skin fills the room. It’s music to Ada’s ears, motions for Leon to slow down. As you being to whine she removes herself to sit in the corner of the bed, vibrator in hand. She removes her clothing, you and Leon both watch her intently. His thrusts remain slow, the both of you still breathing erratically.
She places a hand on her breast, toying at her nipple. You whine, looking at her desperately. She nods at you letting out a breath. You follow her movement, moaning at your own hand on your nipple. The vibrator buzzes to life, and she places it on her clit. She nods, not looking away from Leon’s cock in your cunt.
His thrusts grow aggressive quickly, your head falling back on the bed. Ada moans, the buzzing making your whole clench. Leon gasps, his thrusts growing erratic.
“So fucking wet.” He says, voice sounding so whiny. So good.
“So good Leon.” You say, looking into his eyes. “Making me feel so good.”
You pull at your nipple harder, wrapping your legs around Leon’s waist. He moves even faster, crying out when you rub at your clit.
“‘M- I’m gonna-” His voice breaks into a whine, leaning forward to take your other nipple into his mouth. You moan loudly, your other hand moving faster, rubbing at your clit.
“Cum for me, both of you.” Ada says, sounding desperate herself.
“C’mon Leon, fill me up. I want it. Please? I’ve been so good.”
The thrusts grow sloppy, his hands gripping your waist hard enough to bruise. Leon finishes first, shooting himself into your hole. As you feel yourself being filled, you clench around his cock. Ada is the last to finish, moaning loudly, her legs twitching and her head falling back.
Ada is the first to move, cleaning the cum from your cunt. A soft smile on her lips as Leon falls next to you, pulling you into his arms. Ada lays on your other side, wrapping her arms around your waist. She kisses your shoulder, all three of your legs tangled in blankets.
Leon voice breaks the silence, “So… Does this mean you two will stop doing illegal shit?”
“I’ll think about it.” You say, giggling when he groans.
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mamamittens · 6 months
Text
A Lone Melody (Pt. 10)
Main
This chapter was sponsored by @yanderefangirl as part of the "Oh Shit Sale", thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Warnings: Implied but not seen violence against a child. Health/dental issues. Racism.
Word Count: 2,109
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Melody had been crying a lot lately.
To be fair to the young girl, she had a lot of reasons to cry.
Her dah, silly, aggressive fishman that endlessly teased her only to toss her high above his head with a toothy grin, had left.
Uncle Fishy, the sad man who held her so tenderly despite the hurt in his eyes, had died.
Her face hurt from the way her teeth had broken on her pah’s necklace one night. The jagged shards cutting her skin more than her small fangs ever could before. Venom seeping into the wounds providing no relief but heat. The thick liquid thinning out in her mouth as it wept endlessly from her teeth. She kept swallowing it so she wouldn’t just be drooling onto the table but it made her feel worse. Too full to eat or drink anything considerable even if it smelled really good.
Melody felt bad too. On the inside. Where her heart softly stuttered when she sobbed, not just her stomach that wanted something filling besides her own tainted spit.
She knew everyone was worried about her. Pah. Auntie Shar. All the nice ladies at the café. Even the two weird pirates that sat across from her.
But Melody just couldn’t stop crying.
The least she could do, was try and cry quietly. Maybe if she did, it would stop hurting.
Maybe her teeth would get better.
Maybe she wouldn’t swallow so much of her own venom anymore.
Maybe dah would come back…
And then she could eat with Tha-ch and Mar-co with a smile so even they wouldn’t look so worried for her.
Everyone would be happier if she stopped crying…
But Melody just couldn’t stop.
She gave them a hug after wiping off her face—something that they seemed to appreciate given how wet her napkin was.
They smelled… different. Familiar. Like sea salt and sun. The burn of booze and aftershave. Different but familiar. Their skin soft despite the rugged nature of piracy as she rubbed her face on their throat, teeth painfully clenched shut despite the instinctive desire to bite. To see what it felt like to cut into something warm.
Dah taught her better, even if he didn’t like humans compared to fishmen. Though he did emphasize exceptions to the rule.
But Tha-ch and Mar-co weren’t exceptions.
They were friends.
Friends that pah seemed wary of when she told him. Auntie Shar whispering something in his ear too low for Melody to hear. He seemed to relax, swiping his gentle thumb under her eyes.
“I think I may have found a dentist for you, pup. We’ll go to the office tomorrow and see if he’s willing to try and help.” Pah rumbled softly, smiling as she buried her nose into his chest, rubbing her face against his skin.
The promise of relief brought with it a swift collapse into sleep.
Melody will remember this day, though hazy with pain and emotions.
The kindness of her family as they sought to comfort her until a solution could be found.
And the two strange humans that eagerly distracted her and shared a meal despite her state.
The next day, however, Melody would remember far more.
--*--
Hody Jones slinked through an alleyway, nose wrinkled at the foul stench of refuse and humans. Those damn pirates had managed to worm their way into the good graces of his king and saw fit to stick around. Polluting the very air he breathed like they had a right. It sickened him, honestly.
The way they all happily traipsed down the streets, gawking at the land and people.
Obviously, Fishman Island was a beautiful place outside of the slums. The mermaids an obvious attraction to outsiders. But that didn’t mean Hody wanted to see them drool over his people. Even the frail mermaids deserved more respect than that. Though, they at least kept their hands to themselves, unlike many other groups of humans that managed to get in.
That was about the only thing they had going for them though.
Hody wished, not for the first time, that he had the strength to beat them all away. Show them how little they were worth compared to him. But this wasn’t just any group of pirates. These were the Whitebeard Pirates. They swarmed like cockroaches under the banner of Edward Newgate. And as pissed as Hody was, even he knew his limits.
But the sound of soft sniffles over scraping refuse under his feet challenged that notion swiftly.
Enraged, Hody quickly rounded the corner and found the mutt sitting on a bench outside a dentist’s office. It was almost dizzying how rapidly his emotions swirled with the realization.
The tiny half-breed was curled in on itself. Trying to appear smaller, perhaps. Why they were there… well, Hody could guess, but not why they were alone. He’d never seem it alone before. Always being carried and doted on. Spoiled. Hody felt his lips curl into a sneer.
Well… if he can’t do anything about the worthless humans, the least he could do was solve everyone’s problem with the mutt’s teeth.
Sneer twisting into a more approachable look, Hody stepped forward and called out.
“Hey there.” It turned to look at him, bright red eyes locking with his.
…she looked so young.
His hand itched to get it over with already.
--*--
Edward huffed, a smile hidden under his moustache as his sons argued behind him. Thatch whining about his innocence as Marco mercilessly teased him for flirting with a married mermaid.
“I was just speaking facts! She is beautiful! I didn’t know it was a crime to state the obvious!” Thatch complained, to which Marco scoffed.
“Maybe not, but leaning into her space and putting your hand on her tail was probably what offended her husband more than anything else.”
“I didn’t see her tail! I SWEAR!” Thatch screeched, “I meant to rest my hand on the table—how was I supposed to know she was resting her fin there?!”
“By looking?” Marco responded dryly.
Thankfully, Edward was there to scold his son enough to get the incident blown off with no issue, though the mermaid in question seemed deeply amused.
As a favor to his silly boy, Edward was taking the long way to the ship. Allowing the two to tease each other without dragging the rest of the ship into it. The slums weren’t exactly welcoming, but between his size and reputation—as well as the show his sons were putting on without realizing—no one argued about their presence. His boots clicked against the dirty street with a familiar cadence. Slow, steady gait eating the distance just enough to let his sons keep up in their distraction.
The sound of the slums background noise in his ears. An unfortunately familiar one even after all this time.
Hushed arguments. Small, contained violence as street kids shoved each other, daring one to try and pickpocket ‘fresh meat’. Store keeps selling wares at ridiculous prices to whoever was dumb enough to wander so far from the marketplace. It all blended in behind his son’s argument.
Until a sharp sound cut through it all just as they rounded a corner.
A heavy, meaty slap.
And then a high, young wail.
Edward’s eyes snapped to the scene, his sons falling silent instantly.
A tall fishman towered over a toddler. Hand raised over his opposite shoulder. The baby collapsed on the sidewalk, small hand to their face. His eyes narrowed as his strides quickly ate the distance. Curly black hair like his son, Teach, contained under a small white cap. But the resemblance did little to soothe the instant anger Edward felt. His hand curling in the back of the man’s shirt and tossing him into the wall.
“Oh, shit, that’s Melody!” Thatch gasped, scrambling past Edward and falling to his knees to fret over the child. Edward felt pride in how quickly his son acted as he pinned down the offender with his boot. The fishman glaring at him with a sneer as the child cried great, heaving sobs. “H-Hey, baby, it’s alright. The mean, mean man can’t hurt you. Pops got him—lemme see the—oh he got you good, huh?” Thatch cooed in his softest voice.
Marco quickly joined Thatch as the two helped the child up and inspected the damage. Edward was a little surprised Marco hadn’t already tried healing the obvious bruise but trusted his son had good reason.
The door to what appeared to be a doctor’s office slammed open. A man Edward recognized as Jinbe looking around wildly with a fury he felt sharp kinship with.
Clearly, this was ‘Melody’s’ father.
Jinbe seemed to pause at the curious sight before him, glancing between his crying child, Edward’s fussing sons, and himself. Boot digging into the fishman snarling up at him.
“What is going on here?” Jinbe growled with an impressive depth. The fishman under his boot seeming to pale despite his already white skin, expression faltering.
“W-Was just trying to help the mutt!” He defended with a gasp as Edward pressed his boot down a little harder in fury. “C-Clearly someone needed to knock those teeth loose!”
Jinbe sucked in a sharp breath and spun on his heel, gently pushing aside Edward’s sons to scoop up his child, taking in the damage.
Even before the child was in Jinbe’s arms, they were small. Pale gray skin with dark fingers. White hair tipped black and red with the biggest, watery ruby eyes Edward had ever seen. A large mark on her cheek cradled by small hands rapidly growing a dark purple. Blood and some sort of bright blue liquid seeping from her lips as she whimpered. Edward’s heart went out to the poor child.
“Melody, pup, let me see.” Jinbe held his daughter close and gently opened her mouth, eyes narrowed at the jagged, bloody mess of her teeth. The man inhaled sharply with a hiss. “I do not care what your excuse is—you. Struck. My. Daughter?”
Marco, ever brave, stood up and cleared his throat. Jinbe’s eyes were sharp as he looked at Edward’s son. Not faltering in the slightest, Marco gave a thin smile.
“I’m a doctor with the phoenix fruit. If you want, I can see what I can do while you handle… that.” Marco offered, Thatch instantly standing at his side.
“I’ll hold her hand if it helps! Marco’s the best doctor.” Thatch grimaced. “We heard you were… having trouble finding someone to treat her already.”
Jinbe seemed to struggle, body tense as he looked at his crying child and the three humans. Edward felt regret settle in his chest at the obvious distrust.
Still, he understood. Even under better circumstances, Jinbe had little reason to trust human pirates.
“P-Pah-pah?” A soft, hoarse voice whimpered. “H-Hurts, pah…” she spoke with difficulty through tears and her swelling mouth. Broken teeth likely not helping matters any.
Jinbe melted, pressing a kiss to his daughter’s hair.
“Doctor…Marco?” Jinbe partially cooed at his child, glancing at Marco in question. “—He wants to help. Can you be brave for me, pup?”
Melody sniffled but nodded, burying her face into Jinbe’s yukata before turning and reaching out to Marco.
A little surprise, Marco reached out hesitantly, looking to Jinbe for permission.
It was given reverently. Exactly how Edward would if he had to hand one of his children to someone else to take care of them as he could not. Heartbreaking reluctance and resolve to have the best hands sooth his child’s need. And Marco nodded, lifting the toddler to his chest before looking to the office.
“Think they’ll let me use their space?” Marco mused mostly to himself and Thatch.
Jinbe snarled.
“They better.” Jinbe glared pointedly at the window where a fishman in a doctor’s coat flinched away. The door opening seconds later.
“O-Of course! C-Come in—oh, you poor thing I-I—come in, please.” The fishman doctor wilting at the sight of the bruised child still clutching the side of her face.
Marco and Thatch went in.
“…thank you, Captain Whitebeard.” Jinbe huffed, tears in his eyes as he reluctantly looked away from the now closed office door.
“Just Whitebeard will do… father to father.” Edward acquiesced, lifting his boot as Jinbe stalked forward towards the now thoroughly frightened fishman.
Jinbe took in a sharp, steadying breath and bared his teeth at the man who struck his child.
Edward gladly took a step back and smiled.
He couldn’t wait to call this fine young man his son… and gain a granddaughter in the same breath.
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istumpysk · 11 months
Text
OPERATION ICEBERG: THE TIER LIST
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THEORY:
Varys is a merman
TIER:
Joke: These theories are an absolute joke; anyone who believes them is a fool.
[Tier list overview]
EVIDENCE:
What's the theory?
Varys is a merman. He's part human, part fish.
That's it, that's the theory.
Why are we doing this?
Despite this being one of the dumbest theories to ever emerge from this fandom, it has somehow still gained traction.
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Therefore, we find ourselves obligated to address this utter stupidity.
Proof?* (*We'll use this term loosely.)
Merlings may potentially exist.
Mormont was deaf to the edge in his voice. "The fisherfolk near Eastwatch have glimpsed white walkers on the shore." This time Tyrion could not hold his tongue. "The fisherfolk of Lannisport often glimpse merlings." - Tyrion III, AGOT
We also learn about squishers: big-headed, scaly, white aquatic creatures that kidnap children, and that kind of sounds like Varys.
"Squishers?" Brienne gave him a suspicious look. "Monsters," Nimble Dick said, with relish. "They look like men till you get close, but their heads is too big, and they got scales where a proper man's got hair. Fish-belly white they are, with webs between their fingers. They're always damp and fishy-smelling, but behind these blubbery lips they got rows of green teeth sharp as needles. Some say the First Men killed them all, but don't you believe it. They come by night and steal bad little children, padding along on them webbed feet with a little squish-squish sound. The girls they keep to breed with, but the boys they eat, tearing at them with those sharp green teeth." He grinned at Podrick. "They'd eat you, boy. They'd eat you raw." - Brienne IV, AFFC
Varys is a trained mummer. He is a master of disguise who can alter his voice, gait, smell, and overall appearance.
The eunuch looked at him curiously, tilting his head. "When I was a young boy, before I was cut, I traveled with a troupe of mummers through the Free Cities. They taught me that each man has a role to play, in life as well as mummery. So it is at court. The King's Justice must be fearsome, the master of coin must be frugal, the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard must be valiant … and the master of whisperers must be sly and obsequious and without scruple. A courageous informer would be as useless as a cowardly knight." - Eddard XV, AGOT
Varys has a slimy smile, a hairless scalp, smooth skin, and no genitalia.
"Why are you so helpful, my lord Varys?" he asked, studying the man's soft hands, the bald powdered face, the slimy little smile. - Tyion II, ACOK
Varys was portrayed as asexual in the TV show, and there are hints that his character is similar in the books, possibly implying an exclusive interest in other fish people.
When I see what desire does to people, what it's done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it. Besides, the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things. - S04E06
Varys' bedchamber doesn't seem particularly cozy, which might suggest he's actually sleeping in the sea.
"They are humble. Excessively so, in truth." Tyrion had waited until Varys was summoned by his father before slipping in to pay him a visit. The eunuch's apartments were sparse and small, three snug windowless chambers under the north wall. [...] "There was water in your flagon, gods have mercy," he went on, "your sleeping cell is no wider than a coffin, and that bed . . . is it actually made of stone, or does it only feel that way?" Varys closed the door and barred it. "I am plagued with backaches, my lord, and prefer to sleep upon a hard surface." - Tyrion II, ASOS
This exchange.
He pressed his fingers into his temples. "I told them to throw Allar Deem into the sea. I am sorely tempted to do the same with you." "You might be disappointed by the result," Varys replied. "The storms come and go, the waves crash overhead, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling. Might I trouble you for a taste of the wine that Lord Slynt enjoyed so much?" - Tyrion II, ACOK
Whatever argument this individual is attempting to make:
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Other things to consider:
In Sanskrit, "vari" translates to "water."
Varys claims to have become a eunuch in Myr (Get it??).
Littlefinger hires The Merling King, a trading galley, possibly signaling his future victory over Varys.
In the television series, Varys survived a ship sinking while others drowned:
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COUNTER-EVIDENCE:
No, he's not.
STUMPY'S THOUGHTS:
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VOTE:
I welcome discussions. Feel free to reblog, respond, or challenge my perspective—I won't be offended by any of it.
Please note, if "no" is the eventual winner, or if it's competitive, a second poll will be conducted to determine the proper location.
Don't even think about it.
NEXT THEORY:
Cersei is the YMBQ
[Main menu]
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gamchawizzy · 5 months
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Hey, what is the Church AU for your characters? 👀
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OHOH, this is one of my more fav AUs of the fishies!!
In which Neviss is the kind priest in the small Catholic church of Sant-Climent, in a small boring town. Everyone thinks of him a saint and the nicest person ever, helping old ladies cross the streets, feeding the strays, organising so many fundraisers for the community...all that jazz.
Mary, on the other hand, is an atheist and a bit of a rebellious girl! So everyone was pleasantly surprised to see that she's started to go to church - as Father Nev's assistant! She seemed to be on the way to being just a no-good nobody, but it's so nice that Father Nev took her in.
Except she also knows his biggest secret - Father Nev's a vampire 😳
Nev has no qualms about her knowing it. After all, who would believe her? But Mary has other plans, which was to keep asking him to turn her LMAO. She's had enough of being the weak girl that so many guys took advantage of. She wants to be strong, immortal, able to do everything she wanted to do instead of rotting in this small boring town.
Obviously Nev said no, because vampirism is just as much a curse as it had its perks. It was a lonely existence full of unneeded urges and grief. A selfish condition he's had to live with for so many lifetimes, and he wasn't about to inflict that on poor Mary.
So Mary, stubborn girl she is, decides to just become his assistant! The church is very understaffed and Nev is terrible with admin work - which, coincidentally, something Mary was very good at. Sorting things, scheduling, all those papers and meetings and phone calls were something that came naturally to her! She took some sort of business or accounting class back in catholic college but got kicked out for dealing weed LOL
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Her plan really was to become his familiar, and have Nev trust her enough that he'll have to turn her eventually! Which Nev is fully aware of and he's like, "okay sure I'll think about it" (very vague non-promise because he still thinks it's a bad idea)
Life's fairly quiet for a while! Mary finds out why Nev's able to get by without preying on the townies (All those church sponsored blood drives every few months, they donate most of it to the local hospitals and blood banks but a good bit of it is left behind for Nev to get his fix). Their biggest problem is mostly because that town is used as a detour for tourists and truckers, so outsiders tend to pass by regularly! Sometimes if those outsiders are disruptive to the peace of the town, or harmful to the residents...well, Nev doesn't have much of a problem disposing them 😳
Ducek is a supernatural hunter! But his day job is manning the lakeside camping grounds and fishing spot that his grandfather left him. He moved in quite recently and immediately tried to kill Nev LOL
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He's also a werewolf! But that's mostly because of a hunting accident when he was still training. It's no biggie because he takes medicine for it :] His feud with Nev is really more of just because he was trained to end these creatures and not at all related to his own condition.
Mary is very indifferent to their fights and just steps aside because it's pretty stupid. She's on good terms with Ducek and often helps bake the muffins they serve at the Sunday lunch that he likes so much.
Eventually Ducek and Nev become begrudgingly non-hostile towards each other after Mary dragged Ducek to help save Nev from dying from a poisonous assassination attempt by another hunter. Now they just spend their days trying to wrangle the nosy church ladies, hide bodies of horrid people and malicious hunters, writing the homilies, avoiding hellish portals from opening in the town, and organising all sorts of projects and keeping the church strays fed!
Maybe one day Mary might get her wish, but for now, everyone can take their time :) The town and the days are slow, might as well enjoy the work 🙏
A few notes:
Christian things do not affect Nev specifically. Other vampires are, though - just an extra perk of having been ordained before he turned. He'll be affected by other non-Christian ways of warding vampires off though. Any vampires Nev may sire will also be able to resist it but not entirely. (Ex. Holy water won't burn them, but they will get weaker or fatigued) No one really knows what'll happen to him in the afterlife.
Ducek came from a long line of hunters. His grandfather Kain was the last hunter that stayed in the town.
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Mary has a dumb DUMB puppy crush on Nev after a year or two and she refuses to talk about it because who tells their priest they have a crush on them 😭😭😭 Although she and Ducek started dating after that! Nev sort of figured out she was into him because her heartbeat kept pounding impossibly fast every time she was alone with him HJDJKGFHSJDKGHSD
Ducek is constantly nudging his goilfwend to just come clean to Nev about it (and also accidentally exposing his own developing crush on Nev in the process)
So yanno. funny poly couple where the priest is ALSO getting kissed 😏
Also a fun bit about this is that it's called the church au, but only Nev is Catholic 😭 (Mary is atheist/ex-catholic, and Ducek is non practising Jewish)
This was actually very fun to write, I haven't talked abt my OCs in a while! Thank you for asking, Katy <33
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rom-e-o · 7 months
Note
Addie mysteriously disappearing every Wednesday morning. Early.🤔
She leaves and comes back hours later looking exhausted, but happy with endorphins, and her hair is always damp. And she always takes a gym bag.
The girls eventually get curious and ask questions about the gym Addie is going to. After all, it must be a gym right? All the clues are there.
Addie tells them and they ask if they can come see the place. At this point, they're all still looking for a gym. Addie says it's a "plus-size" gym meant to encourage people trying to lose weight to go and make them feel safe and free from judgement as they begin and travel their weight loss journey. It's not necessarily that the girls wouldn't be welcome, it's just that they might make the other patrons of the gym uncomfortable.
"Oh. Well, that makes sense and seems reasonable. Sounds great! Just let us know if you ever need a lift or anything. You seem to be enjoying it."
"I really am! It's so much fun and I've met some amazing people."
But as the weeks go on, the girls catch Addie coming home a few times wearing something completely different than she left in for the gym. They start to smell something fishy. But when they try to question Addie, she always deflects and weasels out of answering. Eventually the girls decide to find out for themselves. The next Wednesday available, they all carefully follow Addie to her "gym".
Actually it is a gym and not a "gym" and the gym is plus-sized. But Addie's not in the gym, even though they saw her walk in the front door. "That cutie always heads upstairs," the front desk manager tells them after they show him a picture of Addie.
Turns out, there's a dance studio above the gym, and Addie has dance classes every Wednesday morning. And she actually really, really good! The girls are amazed when they slip in, in the back and catch her doing an intense duet routine for a cameraman (yes, this studio has a YouTube channel).
When Addie finally notices they're there, she is completely embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm sorry for keeping secrets! I know that's not what a good housemate and friend does. But I was just so scared you'd laugh!"
"Honey, why would you think we'd laugh?"
"Because chunky girls like me can't be real dancers."
"Well, clearly they can be, as you just showcased!"
"She's one of our stars on our channel," the dance instructor praises her with a beaming grin. "Every one of our subscribers loves her. She's an inspiration to a lot of people to follow their dreams."
And that's how Addie ends up also being a YouTube sensation like her cousin. And also how the girls start taking dance classes every Wednesday morning with Addie leading the way.
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OOOOH ADDIEEEEEE.
I love this! Her finding this hobby through fitness that she loves and excels at is so empowering! Then to be good enough to be a dancer showcased on a studio's social media ... GIRL. That's impressive!
I love the girls sleuthing out what's happening - not in an invasive way, but a curious one! They're seeing a close friend/family member obviously spending a large chunk of time somewhere. They're curious, of course!
Not only are they so proud of her, but she inspires them to join her and learn dance skills! That's a big deal. All the ladies are kind of in these liminal transitional periods, trying to find a place, and this is another way for them to come together and support one another. Girls supporting girls.
It becomes a sacred bonding ritual, and you KNOW when those routine videos of hers go online and are uploaded, the girls all sit down with popcorn and wine to watch it. It's like a watch premiere, and they amp her up the whole time.
The bond these ladies have is so pure, sacred and wholesome.
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maguro13-2 · 5 months
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[FARTING+PLOPPING]
Naruto : Yep. Gotta cut back on those meat in the ramen noodles. All of that ninja eating stuff gave me the schlitz. (chuckles) Oh, what's on the news today? (his eyes enlarges that pops through the newspaper) WHAT!?! CAST OF BLACK CLOVER NOW ENJOYS CASINO FOR THE FIRST TIME FROM JUMP GIGA!?! Why would that Devil dude would want to own a casino in the first place!? Wizards don't own a casino! I smell something fishy about the Jumpers owning and gambling at casinos and even waitresses that serves the drinks as bunny girls.
[Phone vibrating]
Naruto : Huh? [answers phone] Asta! What's going on? Why do you look like a playboy or something
Asta : (on facetime) Hey, Naruto! You're just in time for us to have the great opening of-, I mean our first time at the Casino! I'm into gambling that knows how gambling in japanese anime and mangas works!
Naruto : Jump Giga allowed you to have a Casino of your own and we didn't noticed! Why didn't we think of that!?
Asta : Yeah, I know, right!? It's cool that I missed out all the fun that Shounen Jump, but in terms of it, I finally get a chance that I, Asta of Black Clover, have something important for you all, all the girls in the Black Bull guild are dressed as Bunny Girls! Pretty hot, huh, Naruto!!
Naruto : Dude! We've been like this with Shounen Jump for a long time and you just wanted to have a casino, and did you say that the female members of your guild are dressed as bunny girls. You sure that you don't want anything from Shounen Jump, I mean, come on. I've been with shounen jump for years.
Asta : Maybe it's your luck dude, If i opened a casino in your world how does that make you feel, oh wait! You don't have a casino! we're all good with the booze man! Trust me! I know you will! At least Noelle looks in that bunny girl outfit!
Noelle : Hey!
Naruto : [on facetime] Well, yeah, dude! If anyone feels like that! Why didn't ask me sooner before you opened the casino of your first time on Jump Giga. Is it really front page?
Asta : Probably is, man. Probably is.
Naruto : So, I get no extra credit on why gambling your self on casinos.
Asta : Money and fanservice!
Naruto : Oh yeah! If you want fanservice at a casino, then how about fanservice from Bulma Briefs, it just so happened that Naruto doesn't do a lot things to bunny girls and I certainly don't do fast food in America! Hope you like your nuggets gold, because I'm taking the gold here of having all the girls of Shounen Jump to wear a bunny girl costume for free! And we'll see how you like it, Asta! I bet know one thing that does all the bunny girls we needed!
Asta : We'll see about that, hope you might get something prove of what you're capable of having girls in hot bunny girl outfit!
Naruto : And that's why I got someone that is a bunny girl who knows about Bunny Girls and I like it hot. Real...Hot.
"later..."
[The Dreamy Stage - Fumie Kumatani, Kenichi Tokoi]
Asta : Where is Naruto? He should be here any minute now. I hope it's not too late that he'll miss out all the glory of this here casino.
Mimosa : Hey, guys! There's one coming and Naruto sent a bunny girl to the place we have opened for the first time!
Asta : Oh good! This will be a moment to have ourselves a slam dunk...? (sees a group of bunny girls) Oh great. More bunny girls. Hope this isn't the last time that we've seen more bunny girls than that. [To Mai] So, you're that Bunny Girl from Bunny Girl Senpai. What do you Bunny Girls that recquires excellent of service providing us in this establishment.
Mai Sakurajima : [shrugs]
Asta : You don't know? Well now. Let's not be in bit of a rush here, fellas. I know, I know, Jump Giga made establish this place give us glory and money gamblings here at a vegas-style casino where we can have all the money we needed. So what are you here in for, would you recquire excellent services on our gambling.
Mai Sakurajima : Oh, I don't know. We bunny Girls are humbling insterested of your great casino. We understand hardships of gambling in the great world of the many casinos from the cities that never sleeps. I, happened to be a Bunny Girl, but everyone realizes that only one person can see me as a Bunny Girl, your casino good, a fine well establishment, it's very astonishing, I'd like it in any kind of casino that you fine bunny girls are interested free drinks, but we hardly accept that Bunny Girls are the alternative forms of waitresses and waiters that gives free drinks at the casino.
Noelle : So, umm, what are you in here for?
Mai Sakurajima : I believe you forgot one thing for all of us, bunny girls, if you wanted to get into bunny girl action, I mean, Bunny Girl traditions. The only reason that a jumper like you owning casino for the first time, because this is not your casino, buddy.
Asta : Oh yeah? Then who owns this place?
Mai Sakurajima: It's our casino, punk!
[multiple guns cocks]
Asta : Huh? What the hell is going on!?
Ichika : Sorry to bother you, Asta. I forgot that this is their casino and not yours.
Asta : Huh? [To Noelle] Noelle, why didn't tell me this was a bunny girls casino!?
Noelle : Oh yeah, that reminds us, this casino was a fine establishment for bunny girls, I didn't know that it belongs to the greatest of all Bunny Girls, I mean, you bunny girls are great, so pristine, so intelligent, and superb. Yeah, let's all agree that bunny girls are quite the essential to all the casinos that people like to gamble. Let me do all the bunny girl talk for real.
(garbled talking)
Asta : [to Yuno] I have no idea what's she talking about.
Yuno : Me neither, dude.
Charmy : Maybe it's her bunny girl talk. That's what she'll remind us what kind of establishment we owned.
Noelle : I guaranteed that I owe humble gratitude to have a fine establish to the bunny girls of bunny girl history. Everything is great for bunny girls.
Mai Sakurajima : Fair enough.
Asta : So, umm, what did they say?
Noelle : Sorry, Asta. I don't think this isn't the casino we owned by Black Bulls, it belongs to bunny girls. I guess the casino that Jump Giga gave us was rigged, this is their's!
Asta : Does this mean that they'll ever let us go? I-I mean this was some kind of mix up going on here! You've got to be joking, right? This is some kind of weird set up on how did we not know that bunny girls own this establishment!
Bulma : Because the casino is for everyone and for us Bunny Girls, whether, you're a lesbian, straight, or gay, I think that you hardly forgot that we own this establish to bring all the live and fortunate with all biggest fortune, so I have this plaque right here. This plaque is what we owned this establishment and we wouldn't make a share out of our lives. We Bunny Girls are the true gamblers.
Asta : Noelle! Please tell her that having a casino for Black Cover is a stupid idea, you got us all mixed up, right? Uhh, Noelle...?
Yuno : [To Charmy] Uhh, Charmy?
Asta : Girls, what's wrong? Why are you so quiet? Are you all going to surrender like us?
Noelle : Sorry, Bakasta. I just couldn't help it. But being a Bunny Girl makes me a true gambler.
Charmy : Yeah, we all felt like this. We all got ourselves mixed up, we have everything what needed for Bunny Girls heritage, we have fame, fortune, and...(Knocks Yuno out with a Gun) Double Cross, b*tch!
Noelle : I guess that it's a shame that we took all the mistakes here for nothing. So I'm turning the tables now, Asta.
Asta : Like what?
(gun cocks)
Noelle : Like we're with them now. You guys are the wolfs of serving us gamblers. We bunny girls don't take orders from wolves like you.
Asta : Why did I even bother owing to a casino!?[looks up] WHYYYYYYYY!?
*scenario ends to reality*
Asta : And we decided that all of our girls decides to betray us to think that Bunny Girls do own the casinos and we may never know about it, since we had no choice but to surrender as casino wolves of gambling. Plus, including the girls of Black Bull.
Naruto : Yeah, that's a really theory about you going to a casino, but in terms of this case, do you ever heard about owning a highway that goes to play Bingo?
Asta : What?
Noelle : Sorry, Asta. When it comes to Bunny Girls like us, you guys are here to gamble at a casino... with some "Bingo"!
Asta : AW, WHAT!?!
Yami : Hey, this wasn't part of Jump Giga's deal!
Asta : No! You girls tricked us! I didn't sign up for this! Okay! I promise to never own illegal casinos again! I promise! Do whatever you want! Just don't make us die into this abyss falling into a casino-themed city!
Noelle : Sorry, the rules are the rules of what it means to be an Usagi Shoujo in person. Humans don't control bunny girls, Bunny Girls can control you.
Charmy : Here we go!
Yami : Why you little piece of--(Grey hits ball with a hamer) SH******T!!!
Yuno : (in a ball) Sorry, Asta! I love to gamble for some casinos, but I believe that you're on your own to play some Bin-(Charmy hits ball with a hammer) GOOOOOOOO!
Noelle : In you go, Asta! Hope you like a BINGO Highway surprise! Cause I'm winning big here!
Asta : [To the viewers] Well, I guess we all learned a valuable lesson about casinos and bunny girls, those things can come together when it comes to gambling. But just to remind you, gambling doesn't make you greedy, gambling makes you rich and care for others at those who like to gamble. [To Noelle] I'm sorry that Jump Giga tricked me into Gambling and owning a casino, I'd love to gamble with you as a bunny girl, Noelle. But I don't mind that I could go for some Bingo right about--(Noelle hits ball with hammer) NOOOOOOOOW!!!
[Bingo Highway (Dream Spirit Mix) - Keiichi Sugiyama]
Asta : (yelling and grunting) This is not what I planned for!
Yuno : Somebody please! Stop this crazy thing!
Yami : Can't anyone tell me how to control on these balls!? IT'S BUSTING MY BALLS!!!
Asta : This is the most deadliest thing we ever rode on!
Yuno : I can feel my whole body spinning around!
Yami : That is it! We are never owning illegal establishments again!
Ichika : You think them boys had enough fun of being in balls at a highway of BINGO?
Charmy : It's my luck that wearing bunny girl suits are always a tradition for gambling at a casino and of course serving drinks.
Mimosa : Well, this whole gig turned out so well.
Noelle : Do you think the boys we'll learn their lesson?
Grey : You'd tell me, never own a casino with legal rights. Hope Vegas might be a good choice to make Bunny Girls a great place for gamblers and waitresses.
Mereoleona : Like that'll ever happen in a million years.
Asta : Okay, girls! We get it! We get it! (to Yuno and Yami) Guys why are you all going that way? Huh? (sees a spring in the middle of his way, to the viewers) Mommy?
*Sonic SFX : Spring Jump*
Asta : WOAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Noelle : Alright! Aerial Bingo!
Asta : Huh? (looks down and sees a bunch of Bingo) Oh, man.
*Zoom+WHISTLING*
Asta : Not the numbers! Anything but numbers! This is going to get hurt, alot! (gets hit by Bingo numbers)
"BINGO 1!"
Noelle : Bingo!
"BINGO 2!"
Charmy : Bingo!
"Bingo 3!"
Mimosa : Bingo!
Noelle : Last one!
Asta : (sees the number 9 that is coming towards) AWW, CRA-!!
"PERFECT!"
Noelle : Perfect Bingo!
*DBZ SFX : Wall Hit/Crash*
Asta : (moaning in pain) Is someone having Chips today?
Charmy the Bee : You mean potato chips?
Asta : Not those kind of Chips!
(crowd cheering)
(girls cheering)
Noelle : Alright! Alright! We won! This whole Casino thing turned out well! This is way better than gambling in Roppongi, which kinda sucked, Ichika.
Ichika : You know I was out of town for a meeting in Hawaii. Also, this Bingo Highway establishment is actually owned by a mad scientist with an IQ of 3000 and he needed us to pay for our rent.
Yumeko : So, Wizard boy. What did we learn today about owning casinos and gambling addiction at a fair price?
Asta : Never own or establish a casino without asking permission and do not get yourself addicted to gambling.
Yumeko : Very good. As matter of a result, here's your prize money. This is our share from the endless sleeping cities of the many casinos.
Asta : Oh good! I'm getting all the stakes to become a millionaire.
Noelle : I'll be taking that! (takes bag of money and gives it to Kaiji) Here you go sir. It's all yours. I believe I have something for you. (gives Asta a penny) Here, you can keep it. It will give you a luck of stopping your addiction.
Asta : You know what? Screw casinos! Screw my gambling addiction! I AM NEVER EVER GETTING A NEW GIG EVER AGAIN! I'M DONE WITH CASINOS! I'M DONE WITH THEM! I'm going to be a food critic.
Man : And that will show you the means of what future gambling addicts like him will always be a problem and that will be your problem on gambling at casinos!
"DON'T BE ADDICTED TO GAMBLING!"
"Brought to you part by...THE SPACE POPE".
(TV turns off)
Asta : So...Umm...Now that we understand the hardships of Bunny Girls, Gambling at casinos and being addict all the time, who wants to go Nevada?
Noelle : Not on your life, Devil boy. Bunny Girls orders.
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pearblossommina · 1 year
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Last night I finished Kingdom of Ash (🥳)
I had a physical copy, but for a good portion of this read, I was reading an ebook I checked out from the library. Unfortunately, too many people were waiting for this book, and Libby automatically returned it when I only had about 30% left, so I had to lug around my gigantic dictionary-sized copy with me everywhere to finish. (😵‍💫)
I apologize for doing a bad job of taking notes, i literally stopped doing it about 20 chapters before the end, but if you’re interested, here’s some raw thoughts up until that point.
IT WAS QUITE THE JOURNEY.
And what a fulfilling end to an epic series!
ToG Read-A-Long, Kingdom of Ash, Day 11
Ch 79
I think Yrene and Elide are so compatible as friends, I like this combination actually. I definitely want to see Yrene work her miracle magic on Elide’s leg. Yes, girl! Get healed! Form new bonds and friendships!
Ch 80
Lol, Elide’s uncle is such a piece of shit. I love how rutheless Aelin is. She’s the best. And true to her word!
It’s all starting to come together. This fear, this hype, the whole adventure coming to its final conclusion. I’m very excited for when Dorian shows up like a total badass with all three wyrdkeys. I’m very excited for the demolition of Erawan, and maybe Maeve too if Aelin can find it in her.
Let’s go. Let’s win the war against evil, and save the whole world.
Ch 81
The scene with Evangeline and Aedion and Lysandra is so cute. My heart! Aw.
Um, I also really like Darrow; lmao, he’s such a shitty person but he’s not evil, he’s just a jerk.
and hell yeah
Hell yeah, Manon is here, to honor a promise made to a friend
Hell yeah, queen of the Corchan’s
Hell yeah, let’s kick some ass
Ch 82
“Freedom - freedom from the Matrons who had forged them into tools of destruction.”
I would have liked to see Manon take over ALL the witch legions, the crochans and the Ironteeth both, but if they won’t follow her, then they have to die. This is war! And we’re gonna win!
For a better world!
Aedion and Lysandra are finally declaring that they love each other. It’s about time for those two. No one’s ever asked Lysandra permission to kiss her before? Girl, my poor heart. You should let him, Lysandra! Just go for it! Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy something consensual at least once before you die?
Ch 83
Dorian you’re so sweet, aw.
I don’t want anyone to die!
I want to find another way. Why can’t we just be Elena, and seal Erawan away without dying to forge the lock?
I know it supposedly pisses off the gods - but - I can’t stand these gods - I’m pissed off that everyone’s talking about dying all the time
I’m sick of sacrifice
I just want to be happy
And I just want the characters to be happy, too
Ch 84
Building to another battle
Lysandra’s up to something fishy (har har)
Day 12
Ch 85
Right into it
It does make me sorry to see Manon killing Ironteeth witches. But not everyone can be saved. This is war.
Lysandra is a dragon again
Love her
Aedion is fighting the good fight! Love him.
Ch 86
Um!
Is Ren okay!
Aedion got knocked out - by something - but is Ren okay?
I think I said before how much I love Evangeline. It’s good to have diversity of characters, and someone like her, who is a literal child, getting to have perspective on some of these big moments, it makes the world so much richer.
I also like Darrow for part of the same reason - even though he’s extremely unlikeable, personality wise.
The combination of Darrow and Evangeline isn’t something I knew I needed, but I actually like it a lot.
Aedion will be alright, honey. We have to have faith.
Ch 87
Elorcan my whole heart!!!!
Do I hate the fade to black? Yes, actually, how dare you SJM, she worked so hard for this virginity loss moment, how dare you cut away!
I wanna be in there, I want to feel my heart fill up with feelings while Elide gets to experience sex for the first time and learn how good it feels!
Boo
Aelin having nightmares, boo
I love Rowaelin, tattoo me up, baby, let’s be lovers forever.
And yay!!!
Dorian’s finally back!!!!
We’re all together now, the happy ending is at hand, we can get there, I KNOW we can get there, it’s not far now!
Ch 88
I told you Aedion was gonna be alright. 🥰
It’s the kind of fight that just keeps going - but don’t worry friends. Aelin and Dorian are on their way, and it’s gonna be amazing.
Abraxos is gonna be just fine.
Ch 89
Manon bared her teeth. “I am.” She pointed at the shape-shifter. “You can carry me.”
Aedion snarled, “No.”
But Lysandra shook her head, sorrow and despair in her green eyes. “I can’t - the magic is drained. If I had an hour -“
Am I the only one hoping for Dorian-as-a-wyvern to dramatically turn up and give Manon a ride to the witch tower?
Omfg Asterin
All of them?
Ow
No
I want you to live, too.
Don’t do this to me
Ch 90
NO this is the WORST
Manon :(
Ch 91
YAY
DORIAN AND CHAOL, TOGETHER AGAIN AT LAST
That flicker of sorrow in Dorian’s eyes, when Chaol introduced him to his wife, I know it was probably just brotherly sorrow that he couldn’t be there for the wedding day, but I absolutely believe he was sorry that Chaol is off the market and he’ll never get his chance to make out with him now.
(I’m going down with this ship, toot toot, Dorian x Chaol, sinking beneath the surface)
Why! Why do we have to die! It’s so dumb!
I don’t want either of you to do it. I vote, we anger the gods, and do what we want, and live long happy lives and fall deeper and deeper in love. I vote we die of natural causes, at the ripe old age of 200 or whatever.
Ch 92
The issue of dying in place of your friends is so selfish. I especially love Rowan right now for fighting to keep Aelin’s heart beating.
She wouldn’t let him die to save her, so what makes her sacrifice any better?
I like the idea of both Aelin and Dorian giving “half” of themselves. Maybe they’ll only die a little bit. Only mostly dead, like in The Princess Bride. And what could be a better reason for living than true love!
Day 13
Ch 93
Ok you are kidding me
This is nuts
They’re gonna come back, right?
Right?
Ch 94
I’m sorry but I actually laughed out loud when no one knew Dorian’s dad’s name
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spinning-feeling · 7 months
Text
(I suppose since Susie was recently mentioned in a reblog of my sister's art, it's only fair i should make a post talking about the goobers lmfao)
Monster Prom AU; Starring Trifecta and Susie
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Lore under the cut!
Trifecta was once human, ages upon ages ago - he became God thanks to a ritual which ended in suicide, which one could dub a "Hatchet Incident" - Through this ritual, he was an Existential Blasphemy, something that should not be, but is, thus through that paradox, he is both as Old as reality itself, and merely a young adult. For a while, he lived in old ruined buildings before moving in with Kiah (@fishy-moirails's Sona) and becoming roommates, and in time becoming as close as Siblings - said bond also leading to a Pact made with Kiah's Partner, Oz/Calculester, as to make sure she cannot Die; her soul being under the protection from whatever outside forces seek her, be it heaven, hell, other Gods, or even Father Death himself. As time passes, his powers grow, and deeper does the paradox go; now having an entire interdimensional mansion to himself, and being able to summon Eldritch Servants; all these powers serving as proper preparation for that which he'll save all those within his favor from: The End of The World, by the Trumpeteer's clarion call.
Susie Stiles is part of a rich family of, funnily enough, Dollmaking Dolls; each member crafted with the utmost care and attention, given special abbillities and powers exclusive to them, and fit with a pristine little gemstone on their chest, one that best represents them - Susie was created from stretchy fabric and a special plastic, her abillity being to stretch her arms and legs, and her gemstone being a heart-shaped spinel; beautifully crafted by a one of the four matriarchs of the family... who turned out not to care for her at all, despite taking all this effort, time, and care into making her. And despite her pristine form, because of her maker and caretaker, and her dissappearance, she didnt see herself as too good looking - Trauma gave her self and body image issues. And yet, despite all That, she still tried to go her own way, make her own lot in life, and see where it takes her - That, and she really enjoys being a Punk, gives her a sense that she has some control over her life after so many years, not to mention the aesthetic really fit her.
Both end up meeting in Spooky Academy, becoming friends, and in time, even partners - Trifecta helping Susie out through her personal issues, offering her loving solace, and in turn Susie shows him that this "mortal" life isint all that bad, that even as God, he deserves kindness and love.
Not to mention, of course, the fact that just by being with Trifecta, and sharing affection with him, she practically elevated herself to a very high status lmfao - She'll be the very first one saved when the Trumpeteer comes calling, lovingly left in the safety of the interdimensional mansion, while her beloved takes care of the Threat of Heaven, and He-Upon-The-Golden-Throne.
Now, for some Trivia!
Susie and Kiah are very close friends, thanks to Trifecta; so close in fact that they've become an iconic duo in of themselves, "The Godslayer Girls" - they even have matching shirts! As for how they got that name, Kiah once had a playfight with her brother in a parking lot and won, and Susie? Well, let's say she has a certain effect on ol' 'fecta, which causes him to almost literally melt thanks to Susie's flusters lmao
Nenaavi, Trifecta's eldritch "pet" cat, aided as a kind of emotional support when the Eldritch Nerd helped the Punk Doll through her issues - The kitty fed on her emotions, and acted silly as to boost her mood - Funnily enough, Nenaavi's doing the same for Kiah as well
Kiah claims that Trifecta cheekily helping out her relationship with oz/cal is him watching a Soap Opera - Funny then, that kiah as well has a Soap Opera to watch, with Trifecta and Susie, only diffirence is that their's is a hell of a lot more wholesome, and filled with a lot of lovingly teasing flusters lmfao
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