#glee fandom rn

[rotisseries]

I'm so unbelievably susceptible to the famous secret relationship trope it's unreal actually

[growbackyoursharpestteeth]

time for a tumblr purge

[fandom-hoarder-official]

Trans girl head canons for fandoms I'm not in

Sonic

TMNT 2012 leo

The girls from h2o just add water

Veronica and Archie

Will Schuster and who ever her ex wife and whoever her next wife is I didn't watch that show

[blaintism]

gifs i posted today getting a lot of nice tags and reblogs in general in a way i haven’t gotten in a while genuinely making me sooo happy

[beastsovrevelation]

One of the best feelings in the fanfiction writing hobby? Taking the ships you hate, then ripping them apart, smashing them with a hammer, and setting them on fire.

Maybe just for those of us with rarepairs for OTPs, and extremely popular NOTPs.

[087710]

the fact that i could have been a pens fan when i was 16 bc i read due south fanfic & the author i read fic from wrote sidgeno and i googled who they were & was enamoured enough to read the fic, but apparently my teenage brain wasn't ready for real person fandoms yet after my stint in the spn fandom like man how crazy would i have been if i grew up with the fandom olds

[wingedshadowfan]

the arcane fandom will hate me for this one but i have to speak my truth !

i don't think vi is the "not jealous type":

i think ppl are just misreading her reactions in two (2) particular scenes and that's why they think so! so i'll talk abt those briefly in a sec

i think ppl have this impression of her having so little self-worth that she wouldn't care if her partned flirted w/ someone or someone flirted w/ them, which i personally hate to see! (and yes, she does have issues w/ putting her own needs first and taking what she needs sometimes, she's been shown to self-destruct in dire situations, and she'd put everything on the line to protect her loved ones but that! does! not! translate! into potentially being okay w/ your partner breaking boundaries)

the scene where she learns caitlyn is into women: first of all, caitlyn and vi are still practically strangers at this point so it's very early to say vi has any feelings for (let alone romantic relationship to) caitlyn that would warrant her feeling jealous!! there's perhaps attraction there ("you're hot, cupcake") but no possessiveness, for reasons other than "vi isn't a jealous partner"! everything in vi's behavior shows this entire sequence is power play to her and she's just toying w/ her food ("the undercity will eat you alive") - she's putting a piltover girl of status, an enforcer, in a situation where she has to do something she deems unbefitting ("i will not!" ) if she wants to achieve her goal, because vi finds it entertaining! piltovians getting their hands dirty, being desparate (think of sevika's glee when she's choking caitlyn in s2 and caitlyn bites her hand, resorting to behavior that's beneath her). vi doesn't expect caitlyn to actually do it - so when she sees her flirting with a girl, this is the first time she's proven wrong abt caitlyn! she thinks, "wow, so she's for real/she's got it in her". not only is caitlyn willing to put her pride aside for more important things, she also seems to be enjoying herself - a contrast to her previous uptight and nervous demeanor, and a sign she's going out of her shell and that this place might grow on her, as well as proof she's into women, which to vi is at least smth they have in common. (and no, i won't get into social psychology and theories of homosociality rn but we are all likely to like ppl similar to us/to what we know, esp when we're unsure of someone's personality, views or values)

the scene where caitlyn pulls away from vi mid-makeout - after vi has forgiven her and decided to ultimately take what she wants for once instead of just running after her loved ones and carrying the responsibility of their safety - to tell her she "saw someone": i wrote a separate post a while ago explaining why to me her simple wording is brilliant in making it very apparent that whatever her fling was, she was not only willing to be upfront abt it but it was also shortlived, she thought of it as a mistake, and it was now over. crucial knowledge, although it can be argued vi didn't process it that extensively at all. which, fair. but it also very much happened when vi was gone and likely hadn't forgiven caitlyn yet (despite having had feelings for caitlyn at the time, and caitlyn for her, which she was obv aware of). so her reaction (cait, i don't fucking care) was completely understandable. they'd only kissed once, before having a huge fight/fallout, and this was before they'd put (at least on screen lol) a label on their relationship - and while we don't see them do that after their sex scene either, we see them basically living together almost domestically after the war and i believe that's confirmation enough. i've also talked before abt how/why caitvi have never doubted their love for each other so i'm willing to bet vi understood the insignificance of caitlyn's relationship in her absence - vi also did some questionable shit in the meantime

so, do i think vi is the jealous type then?

short answer is: yes, at least the normal amount. (so less than caitlyn). because to me, it makes total sense that she would be!

she was so madly in love she was hallucinating caitlyn after their fight, which lead to her descend into alcoholism, pit fighting, style change, madness and anguish. and during that time she'd kept the enforcers badge and used the kiramman house banner as a blanket, like?? do you seriously think she'd let caitlyn flirt w/ others once they're in a relationship (not that caitlyn would) or wouldn't mind someone else trying to flirt w/ caitlyn?? bffr vi is not sharing

idk how relevant this is since it's not exactly jealousy but i thought it's worth mentioning that since vi has been shown physically using her body to defend or shield others (both defensively and offensively): she's definitely the type of gf to tell caitlyn "wear whatever you want babe, i can fight"

[tiredfoxtf]

I think it's time for me to share a big headcanon I have about life series. And also some totally fanmade made up lore. It's mostly for people who are just interested in my vision. My... perspective if you will.

Grian is not a Watcher.

Okay, a big thing to say in this fandom, but bare with me for an explanation.

Watchers are ultimately what is called collective consciousness or the mind hive. Because they meant to represent every viewer and observer behind the fourth wall. They meant to represent the crowd, the people who judge the losers and hail the winners. Within the collective there's no place for individuality and singular voices and ideas, it's the mass, the ones who's louder, who echo through the most hearts are the ones who have a voice. And I generally divided them in great twos: the tragedy and the comedy. Those who look and cry and those who watch and laugh. Those who is connected to suffering, pain and grief and those who connected to thrill and excitement, pure joy. Who I appropriately called "Gloom and Glee" - the two polar opposites of emotion spectrum. The strong emotional extremes.

The very reason I think that Grian is Not a Watcher is because he still he has his individuality. If you haven't noticed that about him, he generally has a disdain for people telling him what to do and think. He has a strong will and strong character, he knows who he is. He is simply isn't compatible with the nature of the Watchers like a collective that would take away his personal freedom. It goes strictly against everything he holds dear and what he always fights for. Remember he was SUPPOSED to watch, but he /doesn't/, something unexpected happened. He refused.

BUT, he has made a contact with them, they attempted to consume him and it changed him. Not really mentally, he still has his individuality and freedom, importantly he has his choice (why I will elaborate later). This contact took away some part of his perfect humanity and borrowed some powers of the Watchers. He cannot live without strong emotions now, be it his or someone else's. He starves without attention, without explosive emotions and drives him up the wall. It gave him new look, which he isn't fond of (besides the wings) and pretends it doesn't exist (not like anyone noticed). He has special vision that lets him see rule breaking, the loopholes through the rules, to spy on people, he doesn't need glasses anymore. But he isn't thrilled about this. And he needs emotions. So many of them. And then. He got an idea. He can create a situation where emotions are at their extremes all the times. That is how the Life Series were made.

Yeah, another important point of my headcanon is that Life Series is a murder game that belongs to Grian, not Watchers.

Remember how it's important that Grian still has his choice? Yes, well, the Watchers do Not have a power of choice. Watchers is a mind hive with only one purpose - to watch. They can never, and I mean Never be the active party, they are a passive observer, it's against their nature. They have their power of suggestion, the power to persuasion (which is what I believe is happening to Martyn, but this is not the point at all rn), the power to watch over the rule breakers. But under no circumstances they can choose the outcome or create a situation. The audience that watchers the actors preform their play cannot impact the actors or the play directly, they are here to witness it happen. It's the People, the PLAYERS, who have an active choice and a voice. Watchers incapable of creating a scenario, a world with it's rules and win condition. Those killing games are made by Grian - a player with a power of active choice.

After the first one - Third Life - was over Grian never felt more alive than ever, even if he himself was overwhelmed with pain and grief of his own. He hoped it would be enough for forever, but it wasn't. He started to get hungry again. He tried great many things to satisfy it in other ways, but nothing hit him, he felt dull, not real. Then he thought of a new spin for the old game and he attempted it again, and it went even better. But the guilt he felt was even worse, feelings of his friends echoed through him, every single one of them and he felt like he was using and betraying them. Which didn't get better when a lot of people didn't show up for Double Life, a season he created in hope it will bring more positive than negative emotions, which didn't worked as well as he hoped it would. And it would happen over and over. He still can't understand why people willingly went to these games if they brought so much agony, that reflected in him. Why are they still with him anyway? What good he is if he just hurts them? But they always come back when he calls.

TL;DR: Grian isn't a Watcher, but connected to them, because of that he needs to consume strong emotions and this is why Life Series exists.

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[aran-morinorea]

WIP WEDNESDAY SUNDAY

Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from @kedreeva (and directly borrowed from @suzukiblu)

It’s WIP Wednesday Sunday! I want to talk about my writing more without posting things that are still Very Subject To Change on ao3, so! Let’s collar sauron like the dogboy he is.

BE THE CHANGE U WANT TO SEE IN THE FANDOM, KIDS

Here’s how it works:

I will post the file names of five WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.

Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

WIP names:

Donating Blood:

Consensually vivisecting your Maia boyfriend

what if you were an eldritch monster hiding beneath a divine veil and some mortal wanted to see all of you. and you wanted him, and you wanted him to see it but you would kill everyone including him and yourself if he rejected you over it. and you were both mad scientists. what then?

Mallachel (Sindarin for “meteoric gold”) - and already five chapters in on ao3:

Accidental time travel causing post-ring-melting Sauron to fall out of the sky in front of Nargothrond-era Celebrimbor

The Ring melts, and the Tower collapses, and the Shadow is dispersed. The Eye is closed forever. But then it keeps falling.

Tar-Telepta, Aran Morinórea (Quenya for “[royal-honorific] Silver, King of Mordor”):

The co-ruling Mordor for fun and aesthetics AU

I'm not committing myself to your weird moral restrictions unless you fucking commit to me. Let me take you home and crown you.

Those are actually all of the “collaring sauron like the dogboy he is” I actually have in progress

But! If there’s someone other than celebrimbor you want to see teaching the lord of werewolves to roll over, please ask and I will Contemplate Them (no promises on this one tho).

Also there’s The Worst Finrod and the thing I haven’t actually started writing down about Nan Elmoth, but those dont actually have any sauron in them. arguably.

Snippet from Aran Morinórea, which something may have told you is my favorite rn:

Apparently clarification was not going to be forthcoming unless I asked directly: “Wait, Celebrimbor is married?”

He said, “Yep!” and literally nothing else, so apparently not even then.

I pressed, “To who?”

This asshole rocked on his heels and literally glowed with glee, saying “Me, actually!” and I’m not actually convinced I have ever hated anyone more.

“Well who the fuck are you then!”

My nephew-in-law the apparent actual Maia leant in very seriously, his smile dimming, and said, “Your nephew’s husband, we’ve just gone over this.”

I almost tried to stab him with the stupid flute.

[autismasgore]

i'm leaving the fandom

so i already posted about this on twitter with a shorter explanation but after a long while of being in the undertale fandom, i've decided to distance myself from it. i'm not sure if i'll ever make a public return on any of these accounts, but for now i've decided that i feel this is what's best for me mentally.

i'm kind of surprised i haven't already, to be honest, but i guess for a good while i was able to focus on the passion and love i had for the game. nowadays, i've been finding it harder and harder to interact with the fandom as a whole - for a multitude of reasons really.

many of you are already aware i went through a stalking incident over asgore discourse, which lasted from late 2019 to 2023. it was the most traumatizing years of my life, and i don't even remember a time where i actually felt at peace with myself during those years. the only time i remember being happy was pouring all of my focus onto undertale even harder, just to try and cope with what was going on. it didn't help that at the time, my abusive family was blaming me for being stalked and telling me i was just doing this all for attention and that i loved the "drama" of it.

i really didn't want to do this, because it feels like such a huge betrayal of everything i've loved for so long (hi, i'm autistic and undertale was my special interest, in case you haven't noticed yet LOL) but at this point i associate too many traumatic memories with undertale, specifically the fandom.

since getting more into steven universe and browsing the fandom casually it made me realise just how toxic the undertale fandom is as a community right now. i mean, let's be real, it's always been this way, but i feel like it's gotten a whole lot more worse lately - more insane.

it honestly felt like such a huge breath of fresh air to go into a fandom tag that Didn't have any toxic sludge or people discoursing about liking certain characters (cough Asgore cough) and whether or not that makes you a bad person. it felt like total whiplash, seeing people discussing a show they liked and sharing fanart instead of seeing constant discourse about it.

i've also been seeing a lot of my friends go through absolute fucking bullshit lately, and it's honestly really stressful because it felt like my stalker incident was becoming a more popularized and public sentiment in the fandom. which... honestly is scary to me. people are becoming more openly hostile, more openly insane with their accusations. i've been trying to remain hopeful and optimistic about the fandom, but the more things that have happened, the less hopeful i feel.

i don't want to be in this sort of community. i don't want to be in a community where people feel glee in hurting others, tearing other people down and slinging around serious accusations because it makes them feel powerful.

i want to be in a community/fandom that makes me feel actual joy, and not a constant source of stress.

there's also another reason why i decided to distance myself online rn as well, and it's not really related, but it was enough that i feel incredibly uncomfortable going by the name "pixie" rn.

last year, a youtuber i knew decided to put me on blast and straight up called me an abuse apologist and that i should be avoided at all costs, all bc i quietly distanced myself from posting publicly about the situation and decided to avoid jumping to conclusions.

i don't entirely blame them, since there's definitely things i feel i could have done better, but a lot of what they said was already privately resolved between us, and they left a lot of that out in order to paint a false narrative about me. i mean they literally had saved hundreds of deleted posts from my deleted old social media accounts. i know this because they've done this before with other people. i also know that this comes from a place of hurt and anger, they're lashing out at a community they felt hurt by, but their way of coping with it isn't healthy.

because they had thousands of followers, i started getting a ton of harassment, from people saying i wasn't trustworthy and calling me an abuse apologist, and even private nasty dms i don't really want to get into.

i didn't say anything at the time bc i was worried i'd come across as attention seeking/manipulative but. i became straight up actively suicidal after this. i was convinced nothing was going to ever get better for me and that i was an active danger to everyone. my mum ended up dragging me all the way to the city literally just to buy me the macbook i wanted in order to try and cheer me up, and even then i felt so depressed that i felt like i didn't have anything to look forward to. honestly the only thing that really kept me going was my friends privately supporting me.

to put it short, it felt like a repeat of my stalker situation and i don't feel comfortable going by pixie anymore because i associate so much trauma with that name right now. i feel like so many people who don't have good faith intentions know me as that name, more than people i'm friends with.

i don't even know if i'll ever post on social media ever again, or at least not in the way i used to. if i do end up making a new social media with a new rebrand, you won't hear from me about it. i want to be more private now.

tl;dr if you're still reading this, thank you for sticking by me for so long. this ended up being a lot longer than i anticipated, but i think i'm done with the name "pixie", and i think i'm done with the undertale fandom for now.

i know i'll be able to move on into a better place once i move forward to this chapter.

thanks for the memories.

[musicalmoritz]

Hello💕

My name is Roxy. This blog is mainly for my rambles and shippy posts (not mutually exclusive). I am a writer on ao3 under the same name as this account. I’m just here to put my thoughts out into the world like an open diary, and to reblog cute shit💞💞💞

Fandom Interests:

• Current Hyperfixation- TBHK, Rent, Wicked, Peanuts

• Other Animes (in no particular order)- Hunter X Hunter, Chainsaw Man, Fruits Basket, Madoka Magica, Kakegurui, Jujutsu Kaisen, Bungou Stray Dogs, My Hero Academia, Cowboy Bebop, Ouran High School Host Club, I’m In Love With The Villainess, Sk8 the Infinity, Adachi and Shimamura, Banana Fish, Demon Slayer, Mob Psycho 100, Spy X Family, Vampires In The Garden, High Rise Invasion, Kyo Kara Maoh, Kase-San and Morning Glories, Haikyuu!!, Death Note, Attack On Titan, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Full Metal Alchemist

• DC Comics, mainly the female characters and anything related to the Teen Titans/Batman. I’ve been in this fandom for years due to adaptations but I’m relatively new to the comics themselves. Currently reading Batwoman's New 52 run and anything Cass Cain related I can get my hands on

• I do like Marvel but like mainly Spider-Man, the X-Men, and Black Widow. I'm refraining from posting about it for the time being due to the boycott

• I'm a big filmbro, my top 3 movies of all time are Dead Poets Society, Pride & Prejudice (2005), and American Psycho

• Classic lit is my favorite thing to read (aside from fan fiction). Currently reading The Idiot by Dostoevsky

• I love listening to musicals, my top 3 being Les Miserables, Falsettos, and Spring Awakening

• Some shows I like are Breaking Bad, Glee, Stranger Things (not posting due to the boycott), Gravity Falls, First Kill, Bly Manor, I Am Not Okay With This, The Middle, Adventure Time, Modern Family, Merlin, Doctor Who, and probably others I can't think of rn

• I'm really into classic fairytales🦋

• As far as music goes I am a critical Swiftie. I also enjoy Fall Out Boy, Marina, early Panic! At The Disco, Megan Thee Stallion, Nirvana, David Bowie, Stevie Nicks, and various other artists

• Some other fandoms I've been involved in include It by Stephen King (all media types), Twilight, Percy Jackson (boycott), The Hunger Games, Marauders, Camp Camp, Archie Comics & Sabrina, Dan & Phil, Hellaverse, Homestuck (save me), aaaaaand I think that's everything??

• My favorite piece of media of all time is Les Miserables, especially the book and the musical. I love it with all of my heart and it truly changed the way I live my life as well as my outlook on the world and religion💕

• My favorite character of all time is Dazai from BSD, I adore his character development and all the subtle details that add to his characterization💕

• I enjoy analyzing and yapping about my interests so expect a lot of that

Other Interests:

• I am a psychology major with an AS degree in psychology

• I practice wing-chun, though I am still somewhat of a beginner (white belt, my si-fu makes his students earn them)

• Writing is my passion and I have been working on my own novel for many years now. It is meant to be a three part series but I don’t want to publish the first book until it’s perfect

• Proud Cat Mom

• Being an older sister is like 50% of my personality

• I am a lesbian and a Christian and both of those identities are very important to me

• Believe it or not I am employed, though I won’t say where for obvious reasons💪🏻

• Raging Feminist

• Antique collector

• Complainer, not a hater

• Optimist

• Lover of all things pink

Again, this blog is really just a side quest, I’m much more active on TikTok so you might want to follow me there (femslash.enthusiast / #1 aoinene lover). I’m just here to yap about my interests and spread good vibes💕

[dnpbeats]

I’m curious to know more about the phandom! parasocial about each other instead of dan and phil time. what are your big media interests outside of dnp?

i... you see well uh... lol. most recently it was glee but that was like... 2020-2022 so it didn't really overlap with me getting back into d&p (though, funnily enough, it led to me getting back into d&p 😭). but then after that I wasn't rly in any fandom until coming back to the phandom :3 d&p are definitely The interest of my life rn. a couple of months ago I was binging suits I flew through the first seasons so I guess that, but I kinda got tired of it and now haven't watched it in weeks 😭

im realizing media isn't just watching stuff, in terms of books uh check back in with me bc I've been absolute shit about reading this year but I have a few things on my read list im hoping to get to soon, in terms of music lowkey highkey im really into the beatles.... unfortunately my life revolves around white british men :( send help

what about you anon what are you into?!

[mdverse]

6 and 16

6: Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

answered that one here!

16: If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

oh there's a bunch of stuff lmaooo i could list quite a few things off the top of my head but then we'd be here forever so i'll stick to one for now unless u want more

beyond my rant about the whole ikag thing, i think the main thing rn is that i would've approached britt as a character differently? obviously i like her a lot, she's one of my faves, but i feel like we don't get to experience her pov that much the way we do with other characters and it feels especially apparent when it comes to brittana compared to other main ships. for the most part i feel like the brittana storyline was more centered around santana and her feelings for britt, whereas with other ships (finchel, klaine, samcedes) we get insight into both povs. and then the one time we really could've benefitted from seeing her side of things it got cut from the episode (i am talking about dancing on my own gcv) (i was literally talking about this earlier with bella bc i was listening to it)

and then that just extends to her as an individual character. during my last rewatch i remember complaining for a while about how she's just shoved into the background in the second half of s3, aside from lil bits and pieces in specific episodes (like one-liners or getting to perform in the whitney ep and stuff) because she's barely on screen at all. out of all the glee kids in the first 3-4 seasons she's one of the characters who really gets the least to do in storylines and it's such a bummer to me. idk i just wish there was more of her that isn't just. britt saying throwaway lines and whimsical stuff that everyone else makes faces at? like i appreciate the comedy and the light-heartedness she brings to the show but it just feels like the writers didn't really try with her

salty ask game

[lusthurts]

writing meme about me!

no official tag but thought maybe time to share more about myself! mostly because I want to know more about you all as well, and @sperrywink extended an invite to seblaine mutuals so I will do the same!

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I discovered it on accident as most of us do - I was on the Glee wiki I think? There was a link to select fanfics on the ship pages at the time, and I started reading one of the Finchel ones, and it was game over for me lol - I started writing my own a while after that, and I participated in a variety of Glee RPGs that inspired me to write other characters. I was in one of those massive Glee RPGs in like 2011 on fanfiction.net, and it was very formative for me in terms of connecting with the rest of the fandom and wanting to do more of that. RPGs are also so great for exposing you to ships you never would've liked or even thought of before, although all my current ships came from elsewhere lol

oh, and there was the whole escapism from family shit that was going down at the time thing - that was a huge factor for sure

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

I've almost exclusively been writing for the Glee fandom since the beginning, although the ships I've written for have changed drastically throughout that time. I've dabbled in some other things as well depending on my special interest at the moment, but I always come back to Glee. Other fandoms I've written for include The Outsiders, Degrassi, How I Met Your Mother, 13 Reasons Why, Girl Meets World, and Skam ! none of these are published anywhere anymore though as far as I know, it's all far too embarrassing (and yes I'm aware that's the most bizarre mix of fandoms ever)

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

at least 12, I wanna say I started around 2012ish?

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I genuinely think it's about equal, but it comes in waves. Sometimes I'm reading more, sometimes I'm writing more. I'm almost always working on something and I'm also almost always in the middle of reading a long fic.

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I think I've gotten a lot better at writing comedy and ensemble dialogue. I like writing the silly goofy scenes with large friend groups a lot, especially when I feel like I've nailed the character's voices enough that I don't even need dialogue tags to know who said each line.

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Ohio geography lmao - I like always have Google Maps pulled up trying to map out different locations and how far drives would be, etc. I also have researched a ton about various colleges (especially for my current WIP since these characters are actively applying for college rn) and France (never been there, constantly have to write stuff that takes place there).

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I genuinely do love all comments! I especially loves one that are specific/mention parts of the chapter or the fic that they enjoyed or thoughts that they had while reading. I also like chatting about the characters and canon and their predictions/hopes for the rest of the fic. The length doesn't really matter so much - I love long comments and short comments, and I try my best to respond to all of them.

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Idk I kinda write a lot of infidelity and toxic relationship stuff. Seblaine is the main ship I write for nowadays, and the nature of their relationship lends itself to a lot of infidelity in their process of getting together. I also just love writing angst, so even when I'm writing established relationships, they end up being sort of toxic throughout especially given the traits of both characters. I just find it more fun and probable to write a slightly toxic relationship than a 100% healthy one.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

PWP - I struggle so much with writing smut, although I like to think I've gotten a bit better at it recently. I'm also trying to get better at writing ensemble fics, but it's definitely a struggle for me to give each ship/character enough attention. And I'm pretty awful at world building, so anything remotely fantasy, sci fi, etc. is a huge struggle for me.

10. What is the easiest type?

slow burns! I've gotten so much better at delaying the characters from getting together for a really long time in fics and it's soooo fun. I prefer a character centric slow burn with lots of sexual tension and an arc that involves characters moving from enemies/friends/strangers to lovers over the course of many months or years.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I like to write outside of my own home - something about physically relocating makes me way more productive. I write a ton on planes (I travel a lot for work). I also love a good coffee shop, Panera, park, library, etc.

I write in Word and publish to AO3 - used to write in Google Docs but it's so slow and laggy so I much prefer Word. Used to publish on fanfiction.net but I will never go anywhere else now that I've transitioned to AO3, the far superior fanfic site lol

I am most productive with writing either during the day if I'm somewhere other than at home or in the middle of the night in bed - my most productive hours at home are between like midnight and 3 am

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I recently got over my fear of PWP and published a one shot that I'm very proud of. I have many ideas for things similar that I'd like to work through in the future!!

Most of this is fandom specific though - I'm super intimidated to write for big fandoms because I've gotten so comfortable in the Glee fandom, especially writing Seblaine which has a relatively small audience in comparison. I'd love to write Marauders, but that fandom is HUGE and very intimidating because there is so much lore and fanon to mess up. I hope to give it a shot one day though!

13. What made you choose your username?

it's a song lyric! lust hurts comes from the song "Barcelona Boots" by Arlie - the lyric goes "Lust hurts, could you bear it for me?" and I thought that was very fitting for someone like me who's obsessed with romance in fiction but can't be bothered with it in my real life

any of my mutuals are welcome to participate! I'll specifically throw in a tag for @daisyishedwig @calsvoid @xonceinadream @andyandersmythe bc these are the ones that come up first when I go to tag haha

[ginevrastilinski-ocs]

random oc question: what has been your favorite fandom to make ocs for so far?

Oh oh oh this is a good question anon! And very much complicated lol

The fandom that has more ocs is for sure Glee, hands down, but I don't think it's actually my favorite. Mostly I go by phases ngl (rn for example the main vibes are Narnia and Titans for sure)

Supernatural and Teen Wolf are very good for creatures and I love it. Descendants also bc I love disney and fairytales (I really would love to start OUAT but I just have so many problems with that bc feels like all the good ideas are already taken lol). Also DC and Marvel are a big mood.

Probably Shadowhunters is one of my favourite because my ocs are all actually just in one big universe and it's so complicated and fucked up and I love it. No okay, Shadowhunters definitely wins.