#The Worst Road Trip
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aran-morinorea · 2 months ago
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WIP WEDNESDAY SUNDAY
Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from @kedreeva (and directly borrowed from @suzukiblu)
It’s WIP Wednesday Sunday! I want to talk about my writing more without posting things that are still Very Subject To Change on ao3, so! Let’s collar sauron like the dogboy he is.
BE THE CHANGE U WANT TO SEE IN THE FANDOM, KIDS
Here’s how it works:
I will post the file names of five WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.
Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!
If you’re reading this, you’re invited!
WIP names:
Donating Blood:
Consensually vivisecting your Maia boyfriend
what if you were an eldritch monster hiding beneath a divine veil and some mortal wanted to see all of you. and you wanted him, and you wanted him to see it but you would kill everyone including him and yourself if he rejected you over it. and you were both mad scientists. what then?
Mallachel (Sindarin for “meteoric gold”) - and already five chapters in on ao3:
Accidental time travel causing post-ring-melting Sauron to fall out of the sky in front of Nargothrond-era Celebrimbor
The Ring melts, and the Tower collapses, and the Shadow is dispersed. The Eye is closed forever. But then it keeps falling.
Tar-Telepta, Aran Morinórea (Quenya for “[royal-honorific] Silver, King of Mordor”):
The co-ruling Mordor for fun and aesthetics AU
I'm not committing myself to your weird moral restrictions unless you fucking commit to me. Let me take you home and crown you.
Those are actually all of the “collaring sauron like the dogboy he is” I actually have in progress
But! If there’s someone other than celebrimbor you want to see teaching the lord of werewolves to roll over, please ask and I will Contemplate Them (no promises on this one tho).
Also there’s The Worst Finrod and the thing I haven’t actually started writing down about Nan Elmoth, but those dont actually have any sauron in them. arguably.
Snippet from Aran Morinórea, which something may have told you is my favorite rn:
Apparently clarification was not going to be forthcoming unless I asked directly: “Wait, Celebrimbor is married?”
He said, “Yep!” and literally nothing else, so apparently not even then.
I pressed, “To who?”
This asshole rocked on his heels and literally glowed with glee, saying “Me, actually!” and I’m not actually convinced I have ever hated anyone more.
“Well who the fuck are you then!”
My nephew-in-law the apparent actual Maia leant in very seriously, his smile dimming, and said, “Your nephew’s husband, we’ve just gone over this.”
I almost tried to stab him with the stupid flute.
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rebouks · 9 months ago
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Previous // Next
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Ivan: If y'don't get that thing outta my face I'mma smash the fuck outta yours. Oscar: C'monnn you haven't eaten all day. Ivan: I ain't fuckin' hungry!
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youssefguedira · 7 months ago
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V, JoeNicky & Nile
V. An abandoned or empty place.
When Joe pulls the sheet off the couch it kicks up enough dust that it makes Nile sneeze. The couch underneath is old, wooden frame rotting, fabric stained and full of holes where moths have eaten away at it. 
“Sorry,” Joe says to Nile when she finally manages to get the sneezing under control. “Didn’t realise it was that bad.” He puts his hands on his hips and looks down at the couch. Nile looks it over.
“There’s no saving that,” she says, wiping at her eyes. She can heal from falling over ten stories, but she can’t get away from allergies.
Joe frowns. “I liked that couch.”
The house is older than anywhere else they’ve brought her, and has been abandoned for long enough that it’s falling apart. But through some trick of posing as their own sons, or something, Joe and Nicky still own it, even if there’s a giant hole in the roof and all the windows are broken. Why they’d decided to come back here, Nile doesn’t know, but it’s a nice enough area, and a good distraction from, well. Everything. Growing back a leg, she’s discovered, is not fun. 
From one of the other rooms – she thinks it’s the kitchen, she’s not actually sure where Nicky had wandered to – there’s the sound of something breaking and crashing to the ground, and a muffled curse. 
Joe makes a questioning noise in the vague direction of the kitchen. A few moments later, Nicky appears in the doorway, covered in dust. “I am okay,” he says. “But I think we will need to go out to eat tonight.”
“Nothing?” 
Nicky shakes his head. “Unless you want to start a fire and go hunt some rabbits.”
Joe grins. “Just like old times, right?”
Nile shakes her head firmly, which makes Nicky smile. She loves them, but there’s no way they’re doing that. 
“We can probably clear out enough space in here,” Joe says, gesturing to the floor. “Get the sleeping bags out of the car. Probably have to start a fire anyway, but…”
Nile looks around again while Joe says something to Nicky in Arabic that makes him laugh. The house is falling apart, sure, but it’s structurally stable, and the bones are all there. It could be something. They’ve got time to make it something. 
Nicky is the one who goes for pizza in the end – he doesn’t trust Nile and Joe to order it if left to their own devices – while they try to clear out a space in the living room. Eventually, though, after Nile has another sneezing fit, Joe suggests they just take the sleeping bags outside instead, which works out a lot better. He sets about starting a fire with practiced ease while Nile sets out the sleeping bags around it. They’re far enough away from civilisation that she can’t hear cars passing by, which is kind of surreal, and the stars are brighter than she’s ever seen them. 
When Nicky gets back, two boxes balanced on one arm and a bottle of wine in the other, he looks over their makeshift camp and laughs. “Just like old times, then?” he asks.
Joe grins. “Except we have pizza.”
“And actual sleeping bags,” Nile says.
“Ah, these modern inventions could never quite match the comfort of a pile of furs,” Joe says wistfully. Nile gives him a look. She’s ninety percent sure that one’s bullshit, but she can never quite tell with him. 
Nicky sets down the pizza boxes, and jogs back to the car to grab the pack of plastic wine glasses they’d bought before they got here. 
“We should’ve bought marshmallows,” Nile says. “Could have made s’mores.”
“Well, we’ll have to go to the hardware store tomorrow anyway,” Joe points out. “And I think it’ll be a little while before we can actually sleep in there.”
“Tomorrow, then?”
“Tomorrow,” Nicky agrees.
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thebear-necessities · 11 days ago
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the next four games starting at 9pm or later, stay strong my fellow east coast friends 😭
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wulfhalls · 6 days ago
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anora might be the best movie ever made. and maybe also the funniest. they really put every emotion on the human spectrum in there and some shrimp ones too. just like that.
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vigilskeep · 1 year ago
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I have a sort of joke headcanon that mahariels mother is tabris’ mother adaia. idk how the timeline would work tho it’s just a fun lil idea
adaia tabris dodging both the warden draft and paying child support for her dalish kid
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veone · 1 year ago
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a woman of many wrongs
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lady12maiden · 2 months ago
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Can Monster Prom let Miranda be something other than a political caricature for five minutes
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therealsidewalk09 · 9 months ago
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Small contribution to the Home being homophobic theory
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Frank’s not very happy either
+ Bonus :]
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cranberrymoons · 6 months ago
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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aran-morinorea · 19 days ago
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this is for the user who just went through and liked 49 of my 87 total posts in the last couple hours. no reblogs so idk if you would want me to @ you but im so so so glad you like my nonsense. in return for all that dopamine let us go straight from the most recent post in the Worst Road Trip tag to the end of maglor's pov.
He just kept talking. The only indication he noticed my shock was a near-imperceptible impression of smug satisfaction. “He doesn’t have that much family left, you know!  Elrond had to stand with him at the wedding. Do you realize how angry I am that you didn’t show up to replace him?”
I needed him to back up a bit, because I had not known anything about this. I asked, “Wait, Celebrimbor is married?”
He said, “Yep!” and literally nothing else, because (as I was learning) he's an asshole.
I pressed, “To who?”
The asshole in question rocked on his heels and literally glowed with glee, saying “Me, actually!” and I’m not convinced I have ever hated anyone more.
So I threw my hands up and cried, “Well, who the fuck are you then!”
And the apparent actual fucking Maia leant in close, his smile dimming, and said very seriously: “Your nephew’s husband, we’ve just gone over this.”
I almost tried to stab him with the stupid flute. When I instead just tried to back up, he kept pace with me, and the cliff was behind me. Close behind me, at that point.
And then I had to dance around three more conversational sidesteps before I could get a name out of him. Even then, what he actually said was, “I have several,” which is the most Nessa-coded bullshit I’d heard in literal Ages, but he at least gave me, “Tyelpë prefers to call me Annatar. I like Tar-Glóriel best, though, since it’s very clearly one of a matched set.”
It didn’t make much sense, but it told me he was (cultivating an image of) some kind of royalty. I didn’t actually remember whether Eregion had a monarch, though. I thought I’d heard something about a scandalous new governance type, but it's not as though I'd been keeping up with gossip much. In any case, this bitch’s nonsense wasn’t making me want to follow him anywhere. And it was hard to believe - “Your husband calls you Lord of Gifts?”
““Tar-Glóriel”” explained, “It’s how I introduced myself to him the first time, I suppose it’s nostalgic,” which was on the outer edges of plausibility but life was already so damn weird, so why not. “I’d like to prove it accurate, however - why do you think I came all the way out here?”
Wait. Wait, “Are you trying to take me to Celebrimbor as a centennial present?”
“Yes!” I tell you, this bastard somehow sparkled like it was laughter, and said, “I thought a tearful reunion with a long-lost family member would be a good gift.”
And then his face went suddenly almost-serious again, and he laid a gentle hand on my shoulder - not appearing to notice me trying not to let him - to ask me softly, “Are you going to be a good gift?”
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nachoxpsi · 2 years ago
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Okay I knew it, i knew Mrs McDonald burns his son with a cigarette for being a shit, but Macs traumatized expression was so good hahah i love this charmac road trip
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mrsterlingeverything · 1 year ago
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🙂
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galaxythreads · 1 year ago
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hey!! guess what!! :)
Summary: After Loki goes missing from Asgardian prisons, Thor leaves Asgard to look for him, ignoring Odin’s insistence and threats not to do so. Odin, desperate, decides to resort to drastic measures to force his heir back to Asgard. As in, pulling Hela out of Helheim, turning her mortal, and sending her after Thor drastic. (Gen)
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elephantshoetoo · 4 months ago
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Excerpt from "Road Tripping":
(Chapter 8 of The Byler Files, vol. 3, by ElephantShoe. Now posted on AO3.)
(Mike makes a soft growling sound reminiscent of purring as he rubs his cheek against Will's hair, his breath quickly growing thick and throaty.)
WILL (chuckling): Okay. Let's… maybe not start this again. 
MIKE: Okaaay, then... what can we do that isn't remotely sexy? 
WILL: Um…
(They look around, trying to think of something but coming up blank.)
MIKE (hesitant): Do you, uh… wanna, maybe, um, talk about tomorrow? (wincing) About… seeing your dad? 
WILL (nodding grimly): That'll do it, yup. (pause) I dunno, though. I’ve been trying not to think about him. 
MIKE: Oh. Sorry.
(Will props himself up on one elbow, his other hand still on Mike's stomach.)
WILL: No, it's okay. It's probably better if I have some kind of plan heading in. Once I get there, I'm gonna totally forget everything I've ever wanted to say to him. 
MIKE: Are you going to tell him? About… y’know… you, and… and us? 
WILL: I didn't think I ever would. Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever have to speak to him again. But… I have a feeling he'll know just by looking at me. He's always assumed that about me anyway. Still… I'm not eager to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right.
MIKE: Yeah. 
WILL: I mean, that is the main reason he treated me like crap all those years – he knew before I did, and… he hated me for it. 
MIKE: That is just… (Mike shakes his head, his expression pained.) so fucking horrible. To do that to your own kid…? You deserve way better than him. 
WILL: I know.
(Mike peers deep into his eyes and speaks with the soft, tender voice he uses only for Will.)
MIKE: Whatever he says to you, just remember… you are a good person. Okay? You are kind, and smart, and… brave…
WILL: The way he sees it… being kind is a weakness.
MIKE: Then he's an idiot. Will. You are the strongest person I know. And the kindest. 
(Will sits up, surprised that Mike thinks so.)
WILL: Really…? I'm the strongest person you know? 
(Mike sits up, shocked that Will doesn't know this already.)
MIKE: Yeah! Of course you are. You’ve been through so much. You survived the freaking Upside Down, for fuck’s sake! I doubt he could do that. 
WILL: Probably not…
MIKE (emphatically, taking both of Will's hands in his): You are amazing, Will. And I. Love you. Nothing he says or does will ever change that. Ever. 
WILL (welling up): Okay. 
MIKE (whispering): You deserve good things. Don't forget that, okay? 
WILL: I won't. I can't – you never let me. 
MIKE: And I never will. (with more confidence than earlier) It'll be okay tomorrow, whatever happens. I'm right there with you. 
WILL: I know. (He smiles at Mike.) I brought the Paladin necklace to wear, so I’ll have something of you when I'm in there. 
MIKE: You don't think that'll… make things worse? Him seeing you wearing a necklace?
WILL: I'll wear it under my shirt, against my skin. (Gazing lovingly at Mike, he crosses his arms over his chest like a hug.) Beside my heart, where he can't see. 
(Overcome with affection, Mike gently presses his lips into Will's, wondering how it's possible to love someone this much. Wondering how his heart can hold it all.)
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beepborpdoodledorp · 1 year ago
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anyway last-minute conspiracy theories/absurd wishlist as to what you all want in Help Wanted 2, go
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