#the worst road trip
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this is for the user who just went through and liked 49 of my 87 total posts in the last couple hours. no reblogs so idk if you would want me to @ you but im so so so glad you like my nonsense. in return for all that dopamine let us go straight from the most recent post in the Worst Road Trip tag to the end of maglor's pov.
He just kept talking. The only indication he noticed my shock was a near-imperceptible impression of smug satisfaction. âHe doesnât have that much family left, you know! Elrond had to stand with him at the wedding. Do you realize how angry I am that you didnât show up to replace him?â
I needed him to back up a bit, because I had not known anything about this. I asked, âWait, Celebrimbor is married?â
He said, âYep!â and literally nothing else, because (as I was learning) he's an asshole.
I pressed, âTo who?â
The asshole in question rocked on his heels and literally glowed with glee, saying âMe, actually!â and Iâm not convinced I have ever hated anyone more.
So I threw my hands up and cried, âWell, who the fuck are you then!â
And the apparent actual fucking Maia leant in close, his smile dimming, and said very seriously: âYour nephewâs husband, weâve just gone over this.â
I almost tried to stab him with the stupid flute. When I instead just tried to back up, he kept pace with me, and the cliff was behind me. Close behind me, at that point.
And then I had to dance around three more conversational sidesteps before I could get a name out of him. Even then, what he actually said was, âI have several,â which is the most Nessa-coded bullshit Iâd heard in literal Ages, but he at least gave me, âTyelpĂŤ prefers to call me Annatar. I like Tar-GlĂłriel best, though, since itâs very clearly one of a matched set.â
It didnât make much sense, but it told me he was (cultivating an image of) some kind of royalty. I didnât actually remember whether Eregion had a monarch, though. I thought Iâd heard something about a scandalous new governance type, but it's not as though I'd been keeping up with gossip much. In any case, this bitchâs nonsense wasnât making me want to follow him anywhere. And it was hard to believe - âYour husband calls you Lord of Gifts?â
ââTar-GlĂłrielââ explained, âItâs how I introduced myself to him the first time, I suppose itâs nostalgic,â which was on the outer edges of plausibility but life was already so damn weird, so why not. âIâd like to prove it accurate, however - why do you think I came all the way out here?â
Wait. Wait, âAre you trying to take me to Celebrimbor as a centennial present?â
âYes!â I tell you, this bastard somehow sparkled like it was laughter, and said, âI thought a tearful reunion with a long-lost family member would be a good gift.â
And then his face went suddenly almost-serious again, and he laid a gentle hand on my shoulder - not appearing to notice me trying not to let him - to ask me softly, âAre you going to be a good gift?â
#gem writes#silvergifting#the worst road trip#maglor#i was working on some nan elmoth but you did not stray out of the realm of silvergifting so i gave you more of#aran morinorea#if you want to like over half the posts on my main that will be more than 5500 so *good luck*#no but seriously tysm im glad youre having fun
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more of these two
#transformers#rodimus#megatron#art#fanart#maccadam#tf fanart#transformers idw#mtmte#this ship is going down in SECONDS#worst road trip ever#okay well. maybe itâs okay#because my captains are two halves of one whole idiot#but theyâre both soooooooo so sexy
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Previous // Next
Ivan: If y'don't get that thing outta my face I'mma smash the fuck outta yours. Oscar: C'monnn you haven't eaten all day. Ivan: I ain't fuckin' hungry!
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#oscar finch#ivan harper#sdkjdkjs ivan's SO salty atp n oscar's just like..#A DOUGHNUT WILL FIX IT#â¨đŠâ¨#worst road trip partner ever#well.. for some people lmao#i'd personally love to ruin my ears. sleep. eat doughnuts and vape incessantly on a road trip đ¤ˇââď¸#ALSO.. rebouks map lore ig?#but i like to imagine all the bay is spread out along the coast like the bay copperdale evergreen harbor and san sequoia etc#with the city n shit off to the left#n going up into the forests behind the bay like moonwood mill n granite falls etc#then up into the ridges like strangerville/chestnut ridge#n dropping down on the other side into like oasis springs#maybe del sol is kinda off that way too but more to the left#prolly doesn't make much sense without a map tho đ¤#but i'm lazy n don't like shoehorning myself into a corner with that shit cos it usually barely matters n can change with new worlds etc#NEWAY#ted talk over#â
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V, JoeNicky & Nile
V. An abandoned or empty place.
When Joe pulls the sheet off the couch it kicks up enough dust that it makes Nile sneeze. The couch underneath is old, wooden frame rotting, fabric stained and full of holes where moths have eaten away at it.Â
âSorry,â Joe says to Nile when she finally manages to get the sneezing under control. âDidnât realise it was that bad.â He puts his hands on his hips and looks down at the couch. Nile looks it over.
âThereâs no saving that,â she says, wiping at her eyes. She can heal from falling over ten stories, but she canât get away from allergies.
Joe frowns. âI liked that couch.â
The house is older than anywhere else theyâve brought her, and has been abandoned for long enough that itâs falling apart. But through some trick of posing as their own sons, or something, Joe and Nicky still own it, even if thereâs a giant hole in the roof and all the windows are broken. Why theyâd decided to come back here, Nile doesnât know, but itâs a nice enough area, and a good distraction from, well. Everything. Growing back a leg, sheâs discovered, is not fun.Â
From one of the other rooms â she thinks itâs the kitchen, sheâs not actually sure where Nicky had wandered to â thereâs the sound of something breaking and crashing to the ground, and a muffled curse.Â
Joe makes a questioning noise in the vague direction of the kitchen. A few moments later, Nicky appears in the doorway, covered in dust. âI am okay,â he says. âBut I think we will need to go out to eat tonight.â
âNothing?âÂ
Nicky shakes his head. âUnless you want to start a fire and go hunt some rabbits.â
Joe grins. âJust like old times, right?â
Nile shakes her head firmly, which makes Nicky smile. She loves them, but thereâs no way theyâre doing that.Â
âWe can probably clear out enough space in here,â Joe says, gesturing to the floor. âGet the sleeping bags out of the car. Probably have to start a fire anyway, butâŚâ
Nile looks around again while Joe says something to Nicky in Arabic that makes him laugh. The house is falling apart, sure, but itâs structurally stable, and the bones are all there. It could be something. Theyâve got time to make it something.Â
Nicky is the one who goes for pizza in the end â he doesnât trust Nile and Joe to order it if left to their own devices â while they try to clear out a space in the living room. Eventually, though, after Nile has another sneezing fit, Joe suggests they just take the sleeping bags outside instead, which works out a lot better. He sets about starting a fire with practiced ease while Nile sets out the sleeping bags around it. Theyâre far enough away from civilisation that she canât hear cars passing by, which is kind of surreal, and the stars are brighter than sheâs ever seen them.Â
When Nicky gets back, two boxes balanced on one arm and a bottle of wine in the other, he looks over their makeshift camp and laughs. âJust like old times, then?â he asks.
Joe grins. âExcept we have pizza.â
âAnd actual sleeping bags,â Nile says.
âAh, these modern inventions could never quite match the comfort of a pile of furs,â Joe says wistfully. Nile gives him a look. Sheâs ninety percent sure that oneâs bullshit, but she can never quite tell with him.Â
Nicky sets down the pizza boxes, and jogs back to the car to grab the pack of plastic wine glasses theyâd bought before they got here.Â
âWe shouldâve bought marshmallows,â Nile says. âCould have made sâmores.â
âWell, weâll have to go to the hardware store tomorrow anyway,â Joe points out. âAnd I think itâll be a little while before we can actually sleep in there.â
âTomorrow, then?â
âTomorrow,â Nicky agrees.
#neon answers#materassassino#neon writes#kaysanova#nile freeman#what's going on here? who knows. they're renovating an old safehouse in the middle of nowhere#why isnt andy there? off on a solo self discovery road trip she calls em sometimes#i like to think its a really old one and when they were deciding where to go joe was getting super nostalgic about it and talking about it#to nicky like habibi.... do you remember that little house we had a few years ago..... we should go back there.....#(local 900 year old man confused 'a few years' for like 150 and didn't realise until they got there)#(and promptly went hm. i think it may need some work)#(nile. who had been expecting an Actual Functional House. just has to sit there for a moment)#they're having fun though. she and joe are gonna have fun painting on the walls. etc#nicky doesn't trust them with pizza because nile (not picky) and joe (LOVES to annoy nicky) will deliberately order the worst looking optio#like. dominoes had a cheeseburger pizza. that's what they're going for#nicky let this happen two (2) times before just going for pizza himself#when andy's there it's even worse she will get margherita but she'll also 'add her own toppings'#like my parents who put chinese takeout on pizza. it's good i'm sorry i know i'm expecting to be banned from italy soon#ANYWAY#thank you for the prompt!! i had fun <3
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the next four games starting at 9pm or later, stay strong my fellow east coast friends đ
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anora might be the best movie ever made. and maybe also the funniest. they really put every emotion on the human spectrum in there and some shrimp ones too. just like that.
#ending scene was just. crazy#anora#txt.me#worst road trip buddy cop middle segment had probably the most laugh out loud moments of any film ive seen in the last 5 years#never has they should have given her a gun been more applicable in any scenario ever
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I have a sort of joke headcanon that mahariels mother is tabrisâ mother adaia. idk how the timeline would work tho itâs just a fun lil idea
adaia tabris dodging both the warden draft and paying child support for her dalish kid
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Can Monster Prom let Miranda be something other than a political caricature for five minutes
#monster prom#miranda vanderbilt#she has spoken#I feel like the frustrating thing about Miranda is that her character concept is really creative and has a lot of potential#Like âcutesy bubbly princess being a bigoted maniac that is used to critique classism and monarchinismâ is a great idea!#Problem is in the first game at least#that's all there was to her#Now this would be fine if Miri wasn't anything more a funny strawman#but she isn't#instead the player somehow has to get emotionally attached to the genocidal would be tyrant#and like I'm not saying that the devs should've scrubbed Miranda of all her flaws#the tagline of this game is literally âbe your worst selfâ after all#I just think it would be neat if we got more events of her showing different sides of herself would be neat#and the game could STILL show how evil Miranda is even when she's showing her redeeming qualities#for example: why not an event with Miranda ordering her guards to shield her friends#while trying to brutally murder the birds that happen to be flying that day#or have her executing one of her classmates for insulting her sisters#also no Miranda's ending in the second term DLC does not flesh her out better#I do like Miranda's characterization in monster road trip but having her decide to be a better person out of nowhere was disappointing
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a woman of many wrongs
#sunbleached:extras#simblr#sims 4#ts4#nicolas ishida#context sid sells weed laced with some space lsd that gives people the worst trips and lies about it on her many silk road accounts#nick is just no comment he will listen#and judge but he's keeping that to himself atm#sidonie osmaev
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Small contribution to the Home being homophobic theory
Frankâs not very happy either
+ Bonus :]
#ehehehehe#frank is HOMEophobic#Iâm so sorry Iâm terrible- you shouldnât take me seriously :â)#I stand for Freddie fr tho â- PROTECT THE HUSBANDSSS#Julie would be the worst person to take on a road trip- ain't no way sheâ gonna sit still#welcome home#welcome home project#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#welcome home fandom#welcome home art#partycoffin#shitpost#shitposting#this is a joke
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WIP WEDNESDAY SUNDAY
Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from @kedreeva (and directly borrowed from @suzukiblu)
Itâs WIP Wednesday Sunday! I want to talk about my writing more without posting things that are still Very Subject To Change on ao3, so! Letâs collar sauron like the dogboy he is.
BE THE CHANGE U WANT TO SEE IN THE FANDOM, KIDS
Hereâs how it works:
I will post the file names of five WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.
Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!
If youâre reading this, youâre invited!
WIP names:
Donating Blood:
Consensually vivisecting your Maia boyfriend
what if you were an eldritch monster hiding beneath a divine veil and some mortal wanted to see all of you. and you wanted him, and you wanted him to see it but you would kill everyone including him and yourself if he rejected you over it. and you were both mad scientists. what then?
Mallachel (Sindarin for âmeteoric goldâ) - and already five chapters in on ao3:
Accidental time travel causing post-ring-melting Sauron to fall out of the sky in front of Nargothrond-era Celebrimbor
The Ring melts, and the Tower collapses, and the Shadow is dispersed. The Eye is closed forever. But then it keeps falling.
Tar-Telepta, Aran MorinĂłrea (Quenya for â[royal-honorific] Silver, King of Mordorâ):
The co-ruling Mordor for fun and aesthetics AU
I'm not committing myself to your weird moral restrictions unless you fucking commit to me. Let me take you home and crown you.
Those are actually all of the âcollaring sauron like the dogboy he isâ I actually have in progress
But! If thereâs someone other than celebrimbor you want to see teaching the lord of werewolves to roll over, please ask and I will Contemplate Them (no promises on this one tho).
Also thereâs The Worst Finrod and the thing I havenât actually started writing down about Nan Elmoth, but those dont actually have any sauron in them. arguably.
Snippet from Aran MorinĂłrea, which something may have told you is my favorite rn:
Apparently clarification was not going to be forthcoming unless I asked directly: âWait, Celebrimbor is married?â
He said, âYep!â and literally nothing else, so apparently not even then.
I pressed, âTo who?â
This asshole rocked on his heels and literally glowed with glee, saying âMe, actually!â and Iâm not actually convinced I have ever hated anyone more.
âWell who the fuck are you then!â
My nephew-in-law the apparent actual Maia leant in very seriously, his smile dimming, and said, âYour nephewâs husband, weâve just gone over this.â
I almost tried to stab him with the stupid flute.
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was â again â sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#âfollow me to my shop I can do the tires for youâ and I was like okay! đ but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN â I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like âYOU OWE ME $200!!!!â#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number đ#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like âokay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the worldâ#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like âit's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 minâ#and I'm like okay. OKAY. đđŞ I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay â I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says âI'm 20-25 min awayâ at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like âokay let me check on himâ#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says âokay he says 15 minutesâ I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like âoh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.â#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like âyou know what we're just going to let this one slideâ#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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hey!! guess what!! :)
Summary: After Loki goes missing from Asgardian prisons, Thor leaves Asgard to look for him, ignoring Odinâs insistence and threats not to do so. Odin, desperate, decides to resort to drastic measures to force his heir back to Asgard. As in, pulling Hela out of Helheim, turning her mortal, and sending her after Thor drastic. (Gen)
#my writing#f/u#hela and thor#hela and loki#thor and loki#the siblings go through the WORST road trip of their lives#HOW HAVE I NOT UPDATED THIS IN MORE THAN A YEAR???#SORRY
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Okay I knew it, i knew Mrs McDonald burns his son with a cigarette for being a shit, but Macs traumatized expression was so good hahah i love this charmac road trip
#iasip#iasip s16#charmac#charmac road trip#mac mcdonald#charlie kelly#charlie's worst nightmare#heres a lot of psychologic and physical trauma#finally mrs mac shows something#mac is a baby omg#my poor kid
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đ
#on vacation with my family and its like im 16 again in a very bad way im like hooooooooly fucking shit#how the fuck did i put up with this#its like nonstop very negative judgemental comments like racism homophobia etc etc#like you really look at people this way?#and im like how did this affect me?? because i was just feeling it like the not acting any kind of way. and i still feel like i act very :)#around them like not acting any kind of way at all because of the comments. idk i am just seeing something i havent seen.#i was like really wanting to kill myself when i was 16 after we went on a road trip to nyc because of the homophobic comments.#went to a mental hospital immediately after and came out to them. one of the worst parts of my life. its just like they learned nothing
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Excerpt from "Road Tripping":
(Chapter 8 of The Byler Files, vol. 3, by ElephantShoe. Now posted on AO3.)
(Mike makes a soft growling sound reminiscent of purring as he rubs his cheek against Will's hair, his breath quickly growing thick and throaty.)
WILL (chuckling): Okay. Let's⌠maybe not start this again.Â
MIKE: Okaaay, then... what can we do that isn't remotely sexy?Â
WILL: UmâŚ
(They look around, trying to think of something but coming up blank.)
MIKE (hesitant): Do you, uh⌠wanna, maybe, um, talk about tomorrow? (wincing) About⌠seeing your dad?Â
WILL (nodding grimly): That'll do it, yup. (pause) I dunno, though. Iâve been trying not to think about him.Â
MIKE: Oh. Sorry.
(Will props himself up on one elbow, his other hand still on Mike's stomach.)
WILL: No, it's okay. It's probably better if I have some kind of plan heading in. Once I get there, I'm gonna totally forget everything I've ever wanted to say to him.Â
MIKE: Are you going to tell him? About⌠yâknow⌠you, and⌠and us?Â
WILL: I didn't think I ever would. Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever have to speak to him again. But⌠I have a feeling he'll know just by looking at me. He's always assumed that about me anyway. Still⌠I'm not eager to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right.
MIKE: Yeah.Â
WILL: I mean, that is the main reason he treated me like crap all those years â he knew before I did, and⌠he hated me for it.Â
MIKE: That is just⌠(Mike shakes his head, his expression pained.) so fucking horrible. To do that to your own kidâŚ? You deserve way better than him.Â
WILL: I know.
(Mike peers deep into his eyes and speaks with the soft, tender voice he uses only for Will.)
MIKE: Whatever he says to you, just remember⌠you are a good person. Okay? You are kind, and smart, and⌠braveâŚ
WILL: The way he sees it⌠being kind is a weakness.
MIKE: Then he's an idiot. Will. You are the strongest person I know. And the kindest.Â
(Will sits up, surprised that Mike thinks so.)
WILL: ReallyâŚ? I'm the strongest person you know?Â
(Mike sits up, shocked that Will doesn't know this already.)
MIKE: Yeah! Of course you are. Youâve been through so much. You survived the freaking Upside Down, for fuckâs sake! I doubt he could do that.Â
WILL: Probably notâŚ
MIKE (emphatically, taking both of Will's hands in his): You are amazing, Will. And I. Love you. Nothing he says or does will ever change that. Ever.Â
WILL (welling up): Okay.Â
MIKE (whispering): You deserve good things. Don't forget that, okay?Â
WILL: I won't. I can't â you never let me.Â
MIKE: And I never will. (with more confidence than earlier) It'll be okay tomorrow, whatever happens. I'm right there with you.Â
WILL: I know. (He smiles at Mike.) I brought the Paladin necklace to wear, so Iâll have something of you when I'm in there.Â
MIKE: You don't think that'll⌠make things worse? Him seeing you wearing a necklace?
WILL: I'll wear it under my shirt, against my skin. (Gazing lovingly at Mike, he crosses his arms over his chest like a hug.) Beside my heart, where he can't see.Â
(Overcome with affection, Mike gently presses his lips into Will's, wondering how it's possible to love someone this much. Wondering how his heart can hold it all.)
#the byler files#byler files fridays#byler#byler endgame#stranger things#mike wheeler loves will byers#will byers loves mike wheeler#byler is canon#mike wheeler#will byers#byler is endgame#gay mike wheeler#gay will byers#ao3#ao3 fanfic#byler fanfic#god i love them so much#and fuck Lonnie he's the worst#road tripping
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