#giving me doomsday feelings ... but I already had doomsday feelings from the war getting worse nearby...
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guys I felt genuine fear in my stomach while reading this tweet...
#this can't be happening... please ...#we really can't have anything good now... huh... everything will be tainted by greed... shit adaptations are incoming#horrid sequels etc... I am so sad that larian doesn't even own the fucking characters they made! fml#I haven't been interested in any of my hobbies in the past decade... bg3 helped me regain some of that joy#but this will be also screwed soon... it's already happening... how great#I understand why they are moving away from bg3... and I didn't expect any new content or dlc or anything like that#but I didn't expect that the characters will be handed over to WOTC ... that is horrible#my post#my posts#bg3 mine#larian studios#current events#giving me doomsday feelings ... but I already had doomsday feelings from the war getting worse nearby...#I guess if russia kills us all I won't have to feel sad about how all my favourite stories are ruined... oh well#apparently my mom is stocking up on food as if a bag of rice could save her if they drop an atomic lol#negativity posting#baldur's gate 3#bg3#wizards of the coast#twitter
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I Hope You Die in a Raging Inferno of Pain
AO3 link
TWs: panic attacks, depicted death
Jack Manifold is ambushed on a Tuesday. Heâs at the hotel, the front desk where he always is, and he barely has time to register whatâs happening before Tubbo is dragging him outside. He sputters, tries to wrench his arm from where Tubboâs holding it, but he wasnât strong even before he died, and heâs got no chance.
âTubbo- what-â Heâs quieted by the otherâs shushing.
âThis is an intervention. Youâre going to therapy.â Tubboâs voice is gleeful, but Jack can parse the underlying serious tones.
He scowls even as he trips over his feet as heâs pulled along. âI donât need therapy.â
Tubbo laughs at that one. âBossman, I think we could all use a little, and Puffyâs offering it, so youâre going.â
âPuffy hates me.â He scoffs.
Tubbo huffs. âGive it a shot, at least?â
And Jack canât refuse him.
.
Jack hates everything about this.
He rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans. He didnât even know he could still sweat.
Puffy sits across from him, tapping her foot in a rhythm that makes him want to pull his hair out. She hasnât said anything yet, seemingly waiting for him to start the conversation, and heâd rather die again than actually talk to her.
He doesnât want therapy. He doesnât need someone else to tell him heâs a horrible person. He can do that himself.
Eventually, after what seems like years, Puffy clears her throat, and his attention snaps to her. She leans forward, slightly, on her chair.
âSo Tubbo brought you in?â She asks. He nods, once. He doesnât look her in the eye. He really wants to leave.
âWell,â she starts with a rueful smile. âI wouldnât usually say itâs good to drag people to therapy against their will, but this is the fucking Dream SMP. Sometimes I think itâd be good if we just had one big group session.â
He grunts something that would be a laugh in more comfortable circumstances. âSomeone would die.â
She chuckles at that. âYouâre probably right. Maybe itâs for the best.â
After a few moments of awkward silence she leans forward again. âSo, tell me about you. Do you think you need therapy?â
He feels very small all of a sudden. He shuffles his feet. His legs ache. Everything aches.
âDunno,â he mutters.
âI need a little more than that, Jack,â she coaxes.
âI⌠guess?â He wants to melt into the floor, maybe fall back into hell again if it means escaping this conversa
(Fuck)
(No)
(No no no no no no no no)
(He canât think that he doesnât want to think about that why did he think that joke was)
âJack?â
Thereâs a bit of pain in his arms and he realizes heâs clutching them, fingernails digging in painfully. He doesnât want to loosen his grasp.
He starts as he notices Puffy next to him. Heâs not sure when she moved. She tugs his hands away gently, and he relaxes reluctantly.
She catches his eye. ���What were you thinking about?â
The question is asked so gently, and he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood, eyes darting to the floor to avoid the way they water just slightly.
âYou know I died?â He asks, and his voice feels raspy like his lungs are still full of fire
(Donât think that)
He tries to draw his arms back in but she holds tight on his wrists.
âWhat life are you on?â
He barks a laugh at that, something pitiful and angry and he tries not to yell.
âFour,â he croaks, and her expression twists.
âThatâs not funny, Jack,â she reprimands, and he pulls himself away, stands to face away from her even as his vision swims.
âWell Iâm not fucking joking, am I?â
(Wilbur told him once when it was still LâManburg that Jack was like a small animal, or some fucking metaphor like that, all puffed up and angry to cover up that he was scared, and Jack told him they were in a fucking war, and he was allowed to be scared, and Wilbur laughed and told him âThere he goes,â and Jack thought it was funny.)
(This was, of course, before Wilbur killed him.)
Puffy seems to have realized he was serious, and he hears her stand behind him. She doesnât ask the normal question, which is good, because he doesnât want to talk about it.
âHow did you lose them?â
He turns to her. She looks so out of her depth he almost wants to laugh.
âWilbur, Tommy, Techno.â
She sucks in a breath. After a moment she chokes out, âTommy?â
He does laugh, then, and then thereâs nothing but fire in his veins, on his skin, and it burns so much. âYeah, your fucking precious kid? The one who can do no wrong?â
Puffy hasnât even said anything, but heâs started, now.
(Tommy once compared him to a firecracker.)
âHe fucking killed me. And no one knows I died to Techno, and no one cares about Wilbur, and no one has even acknowledged or even knows that I fucking went to hell, and no one cares and no oneâs apologized and the only person who even cares about me is apparently fucking Wilbur and I think he was manipulating me anyways and-â
He chokes off in a scream, crumpling to a crouch, and after a second he feels Puffyâs arms around him. His skin still feels like itâs burning and he pushes her away desperately, fighting her the whole way down, but she holds tight.
He gets tired of both trying to push her away and choke in sobs and breathes he doesnât need, eventually, and goes limp, letting her hug him. His breaths still as he calms and he feels her tense before she realizes itâs okay heâs not breathing.
âIâm sorry,â she murmurs, and that almost starts him up again. âIâm sorry I didnât know, and Iâm sorry youâve felt alone, and Iâm sorry that no oneâs been here to help you. But weâll get there.â
He clings to her, then. Some part of him tells him to stop embarrassing himself, to keep the facade, but itâs washed out by the utter relief.
Someone is listening to him. Someone knows what happened to him. Someone is paying attention to him and itâs not to laugh at him or to tell him heâs an asshole or to look down on him.
(Something feels a little bit wrong, in his chest. It feels cold.)
(His fire is flickering.)
.
Therapy isnât fun, he learns quickly. Itâs actually kind of hard.
After the initial âguess what, I diedâ he finds he likes talking about his other issues much less. Puffy encourages him to spill, and she always listens, but after every word he fears sheâll laugh or look at him with disgust or fear.
But she takes everything with stride.
He needs to tell her about his death. His mouth feels dry. He can tell sheâs waiting for him to start.
âSo, um, dying,â he stammers. She nods.
âYou donât need to tell me about it if you donât want to.â
âI do, though,â he snaps before he talks a breath like she taught him to.
(I donât need to breathe, he says, and she balks for a minute before stammering an indignant You should try it anyways.)
âThe final one- The one that killed me for real- Techno took an axe to my head on Doomsday. But I didnât go to hell immediately, I guess? I just came back to life like normal, though things were weird, and it took a day for me to just. Fall through the ground?â He can feel it now, but he pushes it away. He just needs to get the words out.
âAnd I was just falling and falling and I saw Her and all I could think about was how I couldnât die until I got revenge and I was so angry and then I just kept falling and then I was on the Prime Path again.â He twists his fingers in his lap. âAnd then I realized I was dead and I think I might be slowly falling apart like a fucking zombie and everythingâs fucked up and the only thing keeping me alive- literally, Iâm pretty sure- is how angry I am.â
He looks up to Puffy then. She gets this look on her face, sometimes, like sheâs shocked and appalled and sad, which is kinda starting to become a recurrence in their sessions.
âWhat do you mean falling apart? Run me by your symptoms again?â She scribbles a few notes.
âUm.â He suddenly feels very aware of just how unnatural he is. He feels disgusting. âCanât sleep, canât eat. My senses are worse? Itâs harder to hear and to feel and to see and stuff. And my body hurts a lot. Like, a lot.â
She nods. âHave you noticed anything that helps?â
He looks at the floor. He doesnât want to say it.
âJack?â
âUm.â He twists his fingers and they hurt. âWhen Iâm angry?â
He takes a peek at her and she gestures for him to continue.
He had no idea so much therapy is just being encouraged to speak.
It does feel nice to be listened to.
âWhen Iâm angry, it feels like this fire in my chest. It feels like Iâm alive.â He sighs. âI think itâs whatâs keeping me around.â
âYour anger?â
He nods. âWhen I was falling, all I could think about was how much I wanted to get them back. Techno and Tommy and everyone. I just wanted apologies.â
.
Puffy asks him if he wants to talk to Tommy. He really doesnât, but she fixes him with a look and he canât really say no.
Thatâs how he finds himself sitting across from Tommy in her office. Tommy is staring at the ground and Jack pretends to find something interesting in the wall.
âSo, Jack, do you want to start?â Puffy asks. He sighs.
âNo.â
âYou tried to kill me,â Tommy starts, and the fire flares.
âYou did kill me!â Tommy shrinks back, just a bit, but he doesnât stop.
âI came to visit, because I was your fucking friend, and you just kept going on about how no one cared about you when I was right there and you shoved me into lava! Why the fuck do you think I wanted to kill you?â
Heâs seething, but Tommy just looks confused.
âI killed you?â His voice is small. Jack doesnât care.
âDo I actually fucking matter so little to you that you donât even remember killing me?â His voice chokes and he shoots to his feet. He can hear Puffy call his name, but heâs already storming out.
He swipes furiously at his eyes as he crouches outside. He canât cry anymore, which is more cruel than anything, but the sensation is still there.
âJack?â
âShut the fuck up, Tommy,â heâs saying before he even has the time to realize that heâs fucking crying in front of him. He bristles, but Tommy has crouched beside him.
âIâm sorry,â Tommy says, quieter than he should. Jack can barely hear him, and heâs not sure if itâs just his shitty hearing or what.
âIâm so fucking sorry I killed you, and Iâm even more sorry I donât remember. I- I wasnât doing well then. At all. Iâm still not. I did a lot of things I regret.â He sighs. âYou donât have to forgive me. You really donât. But, um. If you ever want to talk to someone about being dead.â
Jack sighs, runs a hand over his head. âYeah, but you came back to life the easy way.â
âPuffy told me youâre, like, actually dead?â
Jack holds out his hand and Tommy presses his fingers to his wrist, murmuring something in awe when he canât find the pulse.
Jack feels something like affection and tries to push it down, but itâs too late.
Tommyâs fingers feel like ice. He gasps when something breaks in his chest, jerking his arm back. Tommy blinks.
He puts a hand to his chest. Something is wrong. Heâs pretty sure Tommy is calling his name but he feels far away.
Everything is so cold. His teeth are chattering, heâs pretty sure. He shivers.
Something is happening, heâs being moved, but he canât tell whatâs happening. He jerks when he feels hands on his arms, on his back, but they hold tight.
Heâs laid on his back. Someone touches his forehead, but he can hear murmuring after a minute. Their hands are like ice.
It takes a long time for him to start to come to. Heâs rolled onto his side at some point. He feels drifty, like when he first came back from hell, and that fear is enough to startle him awake.
Heâs on the couch in Puffyâs office. Sheâs sitting in her usual chair, but she stands when she sees him blinking at her.
âAre you okay?â She asks worriedly, crouching beside him and taking his hands. He jerks back at how cold she is.
âWhat happened?â He croaks.
She shakes her head. âI donât know, Tommy said you just collapsed. We were so worried.â
Tommy was worried for him. He gasps again, clutching his chest. She helps him sit up, rubs his back as he recovers.
He knows what this is. He doesnât want to admit it.
âCan you imagine,â he starts, chuckling bitterly. âCan you imagine therapy fucking killing you?â
His anger is fading, and in some cruel, sick sense of it all, itâs not a good thing, healing isnât a good thing, and itâs so. Fucking. Unfair.
.
He tries to keep on with his life, tries to keep up with therapy, spends time with Tubbo, and Tommy sometimes, and Niki when heâs lucky, but in the back of his mind all he can think is how it will end, and it happens all too soon.
He wakes up one day and he canât get up.
Heâs so tired. He registers, dimly, that itâs not normal, but the fog in his brain leaves him unwilling to explore the idea.
It takes three days and a missed appointment for Puffy to come find him.
She stands over him, arms crossed, and chastises him.
She starts to worry when he doesnât even shift.
Thereâs no pulse, no temperature to check, so all she can do is shake him, and after a few long moments he opens his eyes.
She exhales shakingly, pulls him close to her chest. âOh my god, donât scare me like that.â
He doesnât quite have the energy to refute her, so he lets her hold him. His eyes slip closed again, and she shakes him.
âTell me whatâs going on?â She asks. She sounds so worried.
Heâs not good at talking at the best of times, but heâs got to try. His mouth feels dry. He canât even remember the last time anything passed his lips. He misses eating. Heâs losing consciousness again.
âTired,â is all he manages to murmur. She shifts him in her arms.
âI need a little more than that, Jack.â Thereâs something in her voice. âThis isnât normal for you. You told me you donât sleep.â
âI donât,â he tells her as indignantly as he can muster. He knows itâs not right, how heâs feeling, but heâs so tired that he canât be arsed, and he whines when Puffy shakes him again.
âYou need to stay awake, okay?â
Heâs so cold. It feels like his limbs are frozen.
Puffy keeps murmuring, talking his ear off to try to distract him, try to keep his attention, and he tries to hold onto her words. They just slip through his grasp.
.
Heâs falling.
No. This isnât fair. None of this is fucking fair.
He doesnât want revenge. He doesnât want to hurt anymore. He doesnât want to maim.
He wants to live. All heâs ever wanted is to live. All heâs ever wanted is safety and security and love.
And heâs fucking got it so this isnât fair.
And the fire is lit.
.
Jack Manifold crawls out of hell on a Tuesday. He crawls out of hell because heâs a stubborn motherfucker. He crawls out of hell because he has friends, a therapist, and a way to move forward. He crawls out of hell because he has apologies to make and people to forgive and he canât die before he finishes his argument with Tommy.
He crawls out of hell because life is unfair and terrible and awful, but he will be worse.
And thereâs a hand extended. He grins and takes it. Itâs warm.
#I'M SO PROUD OF THIS ONE PLEASE READ IT#based on the idea that jack's anger is the only thing keeping him alive#personal#jack manifold#jackmanifoldtv#captain puffy#captainpuffy#tubbo#tommyinnit#dream smp#dsmp#mcyt
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Wilbur returning as a writer is good (and why it will be an uphill battle)
I am back I guess. I disappeared for a while, which I tend to do. Anyways, my point today is explaining why Wilbur returning as the writer of the SMP is the best possible thing for the server. Iâve seen a lot of hate towards Wilbur and his writing, people say it was too focused on his own character and leaving everyone else out except for Tommy, to which I say.... Have you seen Season 2? They could have renamed the SMP the âTommy, Techno, and no one else SMPâ
Before showing proof to how Wilbur can improve the storyline let me talk about the Final Disk War Arc for a bit:
- It was very good!.... Until you start thinking about it for a little bit. When everyone showed up to say goodbye to Tommy and Tubbo and the Endgame moment were good, but then you remember half of those character either hate Tommy, barely interacted with him or have nothing to do with the plot of Season 2 (Because everyone who was not called Tommy, Techno and Dream were left out). So yeah, those moments are good on their own
- When Tommy starts listing all the horrible things Dream has done to everyone in the server and canât think of any besides a joke about Quackity not wearing clothes... Even they know no one had any stake in the plot jesus
-Dream ending up in the prison was the perfect ending. Anyone else ending in that prison would not have made sense from a story perspective. Glad they dodged that narrative bullet.Â
Really, the Final Disk War made me realise the biggest problem with season 2. The exile arc is very good... on its own. Doomsday was very g- hahahahaah... Iâm kidding Doomsday is the only bad bad event on the SMP. And the Final Disk War is also very good. But when you put it all together.... it just doesnât fit. This is a classic example of something being worse than the sum of its parts (Not sure if I am using that phrase correctly but you get the point... hopefully). Each arc on its own is fairly competent but how did Technoâs execution affect the rest of the arcs? How was the Final Disk War affected by prior arcs? It lacks cohesiveness and consistent themes. Â
Now I have two more things to say before I give Wilbur his credit:Â
- Iâve mentioned Eret, Fundy and Nicki a lot because I think they were great characters with a lot of potential. But, as we know, the story completely ignored them in favor of Dream, Techno and Tommy (Even Tubbo was sidelined for most of the Story). I am not insinuating anything, but something about one of the few LGBT CC of the server, one of the two women of the server and the only (I think) canonically trans characters being left out of the story they have been a part of since the beginning just... doesnât feel right to me.Â
- I LOVE Ranboo. You can see the passion and dedication he puts in his story and I love it. But, has he really done anything? Like... that affects the plot. He grieffed Georgeâs house with Tommy but you can cut him out of it and nothing changes? Same with blowing up the community house, you can just say it was Dream and cut Ranbooâs character all together. If you can remove a character and the plot does not change then that is a bad character. And this is not Ranbooâs fault, you can tell how passionate he is and he is definitely the best actor of the SMP (Low bar there but whatever), but the Storyline says: No, your character cannot actually do anything. This also fits together with the Eret, Fundy and Nicki situation: A character giving his opinion and feeling over an event is not a character being involved in the plot. That is a reactionary character that never affects anything but is delegated to just reacting to the plot other characters move. Sad.
Now. How can Wilbur fix all of this? The evidence can be seen on his failed resurrection. He went directly to Eret to ask for help. That is the key to everything.Â
Tommy is the main character. There is no changing that this far into the story. But by writing stories that involve other characters you include them. Big shocker there, I know. Season 2 was more character centric (Although not in a good way), the problem is that character centric stories cannot handle that many characters. Wilbur has said that he prefers geopolitical plots and why is that? A country has many people, not only one. if you built and open narrative, it allows for anyone who want to be included in the story to... well, be included. And a story being more geopolitical does not mean it is not character centric, but a character-centric story cannot be geopolitical.Â
Why did I mention him asking Eret for help before Philza joining in? Because it is simple thing like that the way to go to include other characters. If you invite another CC into your lore event, then that CC can develop how his character interacts and grows from that event. You see this with Eret, he shows regret over the betray, he shows his love for Fundy and his respect for Wilbur. It really is not that hard to do, which makes everything season 2 has done way more infuriating. The ONE thing Wilbur decides in season 2 showed more skill that anything in season 1 (Kind of an exaggeration but you get the point).Â
So to summarize, Wilbur will improve season 3 in two ways: Writing a bigger narrative that sustains more character and inviting said left-out characters to help out on events that they may not really have a lot of stake in.Â
Why it will be an uphill battle you ask? Because they got rid of Lâmanberg. The geopolitical stuff is barely present anymore. And season 2 negativeâs will still affect the future of the SMP forever just as the strengthâs of season 1 impacted the mix reception season 2 had.
PS: English. Me make mistakes sometimes. Me sorry. Also sorry if I rambled a bit too much. Head full.Â
PS2: The egg plot is cool and new and refreshing. But I cannot say it is very good until I see what the emotional core of the story is. It is still fairly new so I will give it the benefit of the doubt.Â
PS3: Sorry if I was too negative again, but there are already so many people pointing out the good things about the SMP. This fandom forgets that they are allowed to not like things, and disagree with the CC. I see many post per day saying things like: If CC does this (Insert stupid idea) then we (Their viewers who they have to appease in some way or another) we CANNOT COMPLAIN EVER. Like, no. Have some critical thinking and point out bad when you see it, I know this fandom is capable of it but many suppress critical thinking in this fandom in favor of very weird hive-mind ideas.Â
PS4: Dreamâs song is not it. I am sorry.Â
#dream smp#dream#georgenotfound#SapNap#tommyinnit#tubbo#eret#nihachu#fundy#wilbur#wilbur soot#technoblade#phliza#ranboo#awesamdude#badboyhalo#Skeppy#antfrost
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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)
Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).
There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I donât proofread.
Intro
LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO
Okay, so! I donât want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]
Well, I lied.
[Intro to âLuc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2â]
I swear, Iâm working on other stuff. Itâs just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!
So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr â who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago â but as per usual reality proves me wrong. Iâm also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr â by far! â and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!
Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft â thatâs his full name â for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] â wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isnât a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!
This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event â you can tell by the shared nomenclature â so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you donât want to, which is also perfectly understandable.
DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.
⌠What is that? Youâre wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you donât know, hereâs the cliff notes.
Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg thatâs definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And itâs all done in Minecraft â yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.
And you say the perfect brief doesnât exist!
Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, itâs because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, itâs just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.
And itâs not just amusing, itâs also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!
Now, if you watched that Technoblade video â like I told you to twice now! â you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Donât tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!
Itâs just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All Iâm saying is: I donât have anything to add on that front.
So, instead I want to pursue a different approach â something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And Iâm not just talking narrative analysis â thatâs right, this episode weâre going even more pretentious! â Iâm talking Transtextual Analysis!
Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people â #transrights, just in case that wasnât obvious â but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put â to quote French literary theorist GĂŠrard Genette â âthe text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other textsâ.
Basically, you know how the LâManburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? Thatâs transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, itâs really not something thatâs new to the Dream SMP fandom.
But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.
But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos donât look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I canât. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice â I really need it â and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family â Iâm sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.
And Iâm trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, itâs because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like thereâs a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesnât. Maybe it sounds worse â that would be bad!
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!
 Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?
You know whatâs really interesting about the Dream SMP â aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories â and thatâs pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that â at least for long-form storytelling!
So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, itâs because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert â and I donât mean that in the âThis character is based on meâ-kinda way, but in the âThis character, for all intents and purposes, is me!â-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didnât start off as a continuous drama â it started off as a Letâs Play.
And while we can talk about how someoneâs on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, itâs still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.
This is where Intertextuality comes in.
Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, youâre currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.
So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their characterâs backstory.
You can see it everywhere. Wilburâs and Schlattâs relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example â I think anyway. I havenât watched SMPLive, because ⌠thereâs only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life â which I already donât do, soâŚ
BadBoyHaloâs and Skeppyâs relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that theyâre also very close as streamers and in real life.
Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technobladeâs entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, heâs just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and heâs treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldnât work â at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!
But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!
Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.
SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world andâŚ
It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic â a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, itâs played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up â which we will come back to.
And Iâm not saying that theyâre faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact â if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when theyâre not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.
Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy â so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity â yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.
So, even if we completely disregard SBI â which we shouldnât for reasons Iâll get back to â Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.
All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.
 Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th
Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philzaâs entire deal is that heâs the dad-friend â more specifically that heâs the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.
So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed â and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.
I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. Iâm sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didnât sit there and said: âYes! We will rely entirely on the audienceâs inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!â. Like, obviously that did not happen.
But itâs also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent â and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:
[Wilbur âI miss Philzaâ/Philza about Wilbur]
During Wilburâs villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.
Of course, this still doesnât make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related â but it definitely used the âpaternalâ-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.
And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philzaâs first canonical appearance on the SMP.
Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philzaâs narrative purpose on November 16th?
Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilburâs Villainâs Journey â to appropriate Voglerâs version of the monomyth for a minute here â he is what Vogler calls the âThreshold Guardianâ. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest â in this particular case Wilburâs quest is to blow up LâManberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?
Well, itâs through our intertextual understanding of Wilburâs and Philâs relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian â he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur â Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilburâs superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.
Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilburâs arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.
And, just a quick sidenote, because Iâve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When Iâm referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, Iâm using that in terms of narrative analysis. Iâm mentioning it, because Wilburâs character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have â rightly! â pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is ⌠problematic, to say the least.
So, I just want to make clear, this isnât a character analysis, Iâm being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.
In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his ârewardâ: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil â the dragon of Wilburâs story slays the dragon of LâManburg. Itâs very Shakespearean in its tragedy â but beyond the larger theatrics itâs not really used to further characterize Phil â at least in the context of Season 1. Thereâs not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.
Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilburâs character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of LâManburg.
I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of LâManburg â he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the LâMantree, thus framing him as loyal to the LâManburg administration â even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.
Whatâs also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.
[Youâre my son!]
Wilbur is made Philâs canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur ⌠but what about Philzaâs âotherâ children?
Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:
 Paratextuality: Is Dadza?
These titles are just getting better and better.
The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text â like chapter titles, authorâs notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:
[Examples]
And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling â Iâm looking at you, Ranboo â but thatâs not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.
Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. Thatâs stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowlingâs Twitter Account â you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.
[Wilbur: Transrights]
After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!
You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him ⌠and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!
[Ghostbur explains family]
So, it wasnât paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilburâs and Sally the Salmonâs son. This is as clear as Philzaâs anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his characterâs words even more âcanonicalâ weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character â exposition that we should understand as reliable.
And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people donât archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on charactersâ pages!
Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.
[Philza clips]
But just as often it was just explicitly talked about â both in the text and in the paratext.
[Fundy clip/Wilbur âTwinsâ clip/Tommy clip]
So, I know what youâre thinking: âWhy is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textualâ. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasnât the only one.
[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]
Yeah âŚ
This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another â and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.
Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic â but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasnât it?
What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. Iâll spare you every comment made about this â mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.
In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is ⌠unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that itâs ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son ⌠which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but Iâll come back to that later.
But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy â especially when it comes to Tommyâs character? What makes Tommyâs and Philzaâs relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?
Well ⌠this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.
Interlude II: Tommyâs Exile and Dadza in Season 2
Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny itâs worth!
At the beginning of Season 2, Philzaâs narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in LâManburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nationâs rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.
[clips]
And then came ⌠the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from LâManburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. Itâs a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommyâs character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.
So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And thatâs not a problem specific to him â One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eretâs Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville â anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasnât it? â basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP ⌠in ten years, look forward to it.
In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommyâs dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur ⌠but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament â to put it lightly â he was nowhere to be found.
So why is that?
Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didnât write him into the storyline. Weâve seen that Tommy wasnât particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dreamâs mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesnât mean that they couldnât have done that, itâs just a matter of fact that they didnât.
This also reveals another truth about content creator Philzaâs character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesnât seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.
What Iâm saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philzaâs up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philzaâs here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesnât want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philzaâs character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.
The reason Iâm mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyoneâs favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.
Technoblade and Philza, from everything Iâve seen of them, seem to be very good friends â and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, itâs commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.
A consequence of that, however, is that Philzaâs narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of LâManberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technobladeâs ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext â this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext â but there isnât a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philzaâs character into the larger narrative framing around him.
How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubboâs administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Nikiâs role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.
If youâve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about ⌠just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that Iâm not principally against this development â if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.
The problem I have is that itâs just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather â a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 â and Phil then callously disowns him.
The major problem simply is that we donât see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommyâs exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didnât end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down â but again, Season 2 video.
There is not much to say on Philzaâs narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Technoâs consigliere with his role as Mentor to LâManburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philzaâs inner world. But aside from that, Philzaâs storyline in Season 2 remains ⌠pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.
Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored â whether by chance or choice â and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves âDadzaâ in a very peculiar situation.
 Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?
So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail â I havenât made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldnât tell you.
I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because theyâre not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.
But Iâd be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.
I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-âDadzaâ-relationship has become so controversial. Itâs a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized â something that is very common for the Dream SMP â conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommyâs and Philzaâs relationship â as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking â but also completely changes Philzaâs narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.
That is why I say, that Philzaâs character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.
The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis â and thatâs a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POVâs periphery.
To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure â and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderellaâs Evil Stepmother â but heâs also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his âchildrenâ â least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.
But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.
Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, Iâd like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.
You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of LâManburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and â for me, personally â most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas â and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!
And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. Itâs just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.
But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could â with barely any adjustments â turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!
 Outro
Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I donât record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether youâre a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.
I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related â a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs â simply because I donât want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldnât want to force on myself.
But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me â so I canât guarantee that the next video wonât be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.
Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.
Before that I have a longer video in the works, which Iâve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something ⌠eboys-related? Maybe. Iâm not making any promises!
#dream smp#dsmp#dsmpblr#dreamsmp#dsmp analysis#dream smp analysis#ph1lza#philza#dsmp philza#dsmp ph1lza#dsmp phil#antarctic anarchists#the syndicate#dsmp syndicate#technoblade#dsmp technoblade#dsmp techno#wilbur soot#dsmp wilbur#dsmp wilbur soot#tommyinnit#dsmp tommyinnit#dsmp tommy#tubbo#dsmp tubbo#fundy#dsmp fundy#dream smp season 2#lucem ferto scripts
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Hey!
I read a analysis post not that long ago about the battle of the lake stream. (Rainbow-Kitten-5's analysis)
Along with what you have reblogged about exile (Loyal duo my beloved).
With all that I came to see that c!Tommy has not been fine for sooo long.
Makes me even more happier looking back on all the shit he has gone through and seeing him going to therapy now.
It really is because he needed help for awhile maybe not as much but he did (He most definitely did) but then exile happened then Bedrock Bros which... I loved but Tommy sure didnt get to much help. Doomsday and Disc war happened which Disc war when trying to get Dream into Prison showed he needed help. Hotel did lots of good shit for his metal health that went to die in prison. Now he is going to therapy and god if that isnt a great message.
(Final Control room fucked everyone up. Forgot to say that but it did. I mean Tommy did have a panic attack. Almost forgot the blip that was him visiting places that messed him up so he could go kill Dream.)
Cc!Tommy is such a great writer (and those who helped too!!)
...
This went from me talking about how Tommy needed help for a long time to praising his character...
Well then hope you have a good day!!
(Every person on that server needs therapy)
Yeah, even the therapist needs therapy there...
But yeah, c!Tommy started struggling way WAY before his third exile. As you pointed out, the final control room messed up everyone who was killed there and no doubt Tommy's and Wilbur's exile didn't help either of them. I remember that someone actually pointed out that Tommy used his third life to barter with someone the first time during the scene where he and Quackity were talking Wilbur down from pressing the button and... man... like, I don't think that he was already actively suicidal at the time, but that does show a worryingly low regard for his own safety that I don't see many people talking about.
There are other moments like Tommy flinging himself on the podium after Tubbo's execution that could have very well ended with him losing a life as well. Or the pit scene. Tommy actually started showing some very worrying signs well before people often realize. And, if you think about it, it makes sense. He felt like Wilbur's actions were on his shoulders at the time (meaning that he felt responsible for having to convince Wilbur not to blow his country up) and on top of that he acted as basically the de facto leader of the rebellion and they were in the middle of a war at the time. It's no surprise that all of that combined wouldn't do wonders for anyone.
And things just got progressively worse and worse for him. Because after that he had about 1 or 2 weeks to enjoy New L'Manburg before he was put on trial and exiled over bullshit. And we all know what happened in exile. His stay with Techno also didn't help him, it taught him mostly harmful coping mechanisms where he was rewarded for lashing out violently. That together with Techno being rather manipulative to get Tommy to work with him and reinforcing similar talking points to the ones Dream used just really didn't help. And then it was war again.
He had a bit of a break with the Hotel Arc, but that, once again, came to a halt with his 3 week-long stay in prison with his abuser where he died. I'm honestly so impressed by c!Tommy not giving up after all of that and even learning to actively seek help when he needs it. It's a nice thing to see, it gives us some much-needed hope after everything. And he is healing now. And sure it's not linear, but, well, that's how healing works for you!
And absolutely agreed! It's not a secret that c!Tommy is one of my favourite characters and he is amazingly written! I absolutely adore him and, while a lot of the themes he's covered in his story are dark, I appreciate the constant underlying feeling of hope that has followed him all the way. It's possibly what makes me appreciate his character so much.
#anon ask#dream smp#tommyinnit#tw abuse#long post#looks like we both went on a bit of a rant here#I just really like his character man...
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The Philosophy of Dr. Stone
 My intentions for this essay are not to try and persuade you into thinking Senku is an awful person and whoever thinks like this is selfish and childish. Iâm very sorry if I did come across as that. I do believe Senku is right in some aspects like the whole âleveling the playing fieldâ thing and the curiosity humans naturally have towards science. I just think that everyone should not be unpetrified, that there should be laws in place on science to make sure itâs not unnecessarily cruel or harmful, and that in this situation it would be better to try and rebuild humanity better than in the past. Both Senku and Tukasa are flawed in their way of thinking. Humanity cannot survive with only one in power, shaping the world to what they want.
Now I wanted to say this at the start but I absolutely love Dr. Stone, this essay is not a barrage of the story and how itâs garbage or anything or that anyone is. This is not an attack but an invitation to a discussion. Iâm making this essay because I appreciate the story and think it is so incredibly interesting. This essay is constructive criticism so the story can be better and so people can discuss the topics and the opinions they have of them, basically just an excuse to make people talk about this awesome story. I also have not read the manga, Iâve only watched the anime so if you decide to respond please do it very vaguely. Iâm fine if you talk about the new arguments brought up but not ok if you spoil the show so please be careful.
Iâm going to begin with psychology because thatâs my jam and I obsess over psychological topics and discussions. I am by no means a professional but I havenât heard anyone point out or talk about the ideas and opinions I have, so Iâll just do it. The psychology in Dr. Stone is incredibly thought provoking and makes the audience take a close look at their society and the people around them. What would you do if all of humanity was turned to stone and when you wake up all evidence of humans has corroded away except for the statues of said people scattered everywhere? What would you do if the world was basically reset, including humanity? What would you do?
That in-and-of itself is exiting. It's fun to think of what you would do in such an radial situation. With that the audience can automatically empathies with the cast of characters and their versions of how they decide to handle the situation. Senkuâs choice is to unpetrify everyone and bring humanity back to the modern age. This may be what most people would do, I donât know for sure but I haven't heard a lot of people who actually disagree with his point of view so Iâm just assuming. This is like the textbook, basic ideology a human could have. All humans have that basic instinct to save as many people as possible, it just makes sense. This and the fact that Senku is google reincarnated makes him the perfect protagonist for this story. People may not be able to empathies with a scheming scientific genius but they can empathies with his desire to save everyone just like in any other Shonen anime. Itâs easy to think this way and it's understandable, but that doesn't mean itâs right.
On the other hand we have Tsukasa. He is, to put it simply, the complete opposite to Senku. He is still smart but is not a walking talking Alexa and is incredibly strong. He believes that they shouldn't bring back everyone and instead pick and choose who to unpetrify. He thinks that bringing back humanity to the way it was will only cause destruction, war, power imbalances, and greed. Now you may call this a âhot takeâ but I came across some misunderstandings on Tsukasaâs stand. He does not disagree with science, he disagrees with Senku. He does not think that science itself is the root of all human evil, he thinks humans are. Now you may be asking âHow do you know that for sure?â, well, why would he compliment Senku on his knowledge of science if he hates it? The only time I can remember him saying anything bad about science is when he was talking about guns, bombs, and other weapons of mass destruction. But itâs clear that he only brought that up to persuade Senku in not reviving the greedy and the ones who will use them to oppress and kill others. Again, just like with Senku, the audience can sympathize and understand this character and their actions. No one wants to see another in pain and surely does want anyone to die, they want to save everyone.
Senku and Tsukasa are on the absolute opposite side of each other but are still on the same coin. They both want the best for humanity but have 2 conflicting viewpoints. Now it would be incredibly easy to just pick a side and argue for that side and why itâs right but I donât think people see that both of those are very flawed ideals and although in theory they could work, in practice both of them fall apart. If Senku gets his way and everyone is revived and basically back to the way the world was, humanity will get right back on track to the destruction of the world. We were already on that track before the petrification. Scientists predict that 2050 is basically the doomsday year. In 2050 there will not be enough food to feed us all due to overpopulation and global warming is getting worse and worse by the second. If we donât take drastic steps to stop it then the world is on track towards an early ice age and even the destruction of the entire planet. But in this universe that exact thing happened (the drastic steps not the destruction of the world). With all of humanity frozen in an instant all pollution creation stopped, the furnaces burning coal died out, and over hunting/ over deforestation ceased in an instant. Iâm not a professional scientist so I donât know if 3,000 years is actually enough time for the world to completely reset but I do know that with the sudden halt on human activity could allow the earth to completely heal.
So the issue with Senkuâs viewpoint seems to be that he viewed the modern age as a utopia of sorts which makes sense, itâs the peak of science and he loves science. Senku was born physically weak and preferred to use his brain over his muscles. He viewed science as a way to âlevel the playing fieldâ, and heâs not wrong. It definitely levels the playing field but thatâs only if they have access to it, it does not work if the people who donât need it are the only ones who can have it. In primitive society (Iâm mainly going to focus on Native American culture and history because thatâs the one I know the most) many people were born with deformities or any other phenomenon that now-a-days is seen as a disability, but they were just as important as anyone else in the group. Back then it didnât matter. Yes you were more likely to be killed or die by natural occurrences but not by other people. By eliminating the dangers of nature, people shift their hatred onto other people. This is exactly the reason that in so many stories 2 opposing groups come together to defeat a common enemy. That's where the phrase âthe enemy of my enemy is my friendâ. Now to be fair the show never really touches on the topic of nature being dangerous, it always seems to just be humans. It only ever sturs away from this in situations like the acid lake that gives off toxic fumes, but the show doesn't really want to focus on that aspect, which is fine, if they want to tell a story about the people then they can, I mean that's what Iâm writing about now.
Senku wants to bring back everyone because he knows that that is the fastest way to create all the technology. If you remember from before I touched briefly on how the world was going to shit was in part due to overpopulation. I think you know where Iâm going with this. Even with the earth reset and nature covering all, that is still not going to be enough food for all of them. It has already been proven that there is no way to sustain this large of a human population. The reason we are not all dying of starvation right now is because most of the food produced can barley be considered food at all, the other food is genetically altered, and it all goes to only one group of people. You see, when I asked âwhy are we not starving to deathâ I was technically lying, we are. Not counting the small percentage of the population that can afford all the food, we are starving to death, and it is by our own hands. The world we live in today is not a utopia. Yes we have science that can save lives but those are made by the countless deaths of rats, monkeys, and so many other animals we use as âlab ratsâ.
Iâm not saying all this to make you feel bad, Iâm bringing it up to try and explain why what Senku is doing terrifies me. I couldnât imagine how it would feel to wake up to a fresh new start on life only to find out someone wants to rebuild it all again. He is not learning from history, he is repeating it. That is why Senkuâs idea of what he wants the world to be is great on paper but crumbles apart when put into practice.
 I have also heard that the reason Senku wants to bring back the modern age is because he just wants to go to space, making it a selfish act on his part. I thought this was incredibly interesting and relatable and really made me look at his character differently. This would be another way of thinking about the petrifying if humanity, some would see it as this horrible event that ruined their lives and again, this makes sense. All Senku ever wanted to do was go to space. Thatâs why he learned science in the first place. He spent his entire life working towards that goal and right when he could have had it, it disappeared. I don't blame him for wanting everything to go back to where it was and now I really want to see if this is addressed or challenged in the story. I want to see Senku come to terms with this and finally get closure, not only on the situation but also his dad. Basically I just want him to cry god dammit! Let him cry! Let him be healthy and accept his emotions!
Speaking of emotions, itâs well known that he hides his and if you have been screaming at me about that fact, I know. I understand that until this point I may have been portraying Senku as this selfish greedy and mean person who doesn't care about humanity at all and Iâm sorry if it did. That description does not fit him at all. Itâs subtle but when you see it you canât unsee it. As mentioned before he was born very weak and so couldnât really protect himself from others, this is by no means a disability but close enough to where he can understand the pain and struggles that people who are disabled face. When he made glasses for the 2 villagers he stated that science levels the playing field. That little interaction reveals that he does care about helping other people and hoping to fix their problems with science. He also further elaborated on his idea with Magma when they were mining. He stated that everyone has a job to do and neither job is better than the other. This shows his understanding of everyone's roles and how, as a species, to thrive we must all work together. This further drills home the point to me that itâs not that Senku is stupid or that he doesnât care about humanity but that his still a little kid who never really had to go through or see the awful and corrupt side of the world. I hate using this word because I feel like itâs used too much but by all intents and purposes, Senku is privileged. He only seems to know the science of today as this life saving, world altering and fundamentally good concept, not the steps in which it took to get there, how many lives and dead ecosystems it took to get where we are today, and what we are still doing. Donât forget about the whole global warming thing, mass deforestation, and pollution.
I am going to give 2 examples of how science can be cruel and how it doesn't need to be. Iâm going to get into deep stuff here so itâs ok if you skip it. Iâm talking about slavery and the experimentation of animals. Do you remember when the U.S.A was tearing down statues? One of them (I donât know if it was torn down. I just know that itâs in front of a university and people wanted it gone) was a statue of a man who progressed the field of medicine and healthcare immensely, but did so at the expense of specifically black women. He believed that they were incapable of feeling pain and so performed many horrific surgeries and tests on them with no pain killer. Yes he greatly furthered the field of healthcare, but that doesn't make it right and especially not humane. He should not and did not need to do that. We would figure it out on our own. Sure it would probably take a lot more time but that doesn't justify the actions of that man. The other example is an ongoing process that is still in practice today, the experimentation of animals. If you donât know, before a beauty product or medicine of some sort can enter the market it needs to be checked by the government to see if it is safe for us to use. So companies use monkeys and other animals to test their product on. It is horrific. The scientists treat those animals with no respect or care for the lives of them. It is unnecessary and cruel. We would figure it out on our own. Sure, it probably would take longer, but that doesn't make it right. Itâs an excuse.
Senku doesn't seem to know this seeing as how he basically learned everything from scratch with experiments. Thatâs why Iâm saying Senku is naĂŻve and not a cruel monster who doesn't care who gets hurt, as long as it satisfies his curiosity and expands the field of science. I do hope that later down the line the story confronts that fact and we see first hand that he is not willing to do whatever it takes to go back to modern civilization as much he wants us to believe. I want to see him come to terms with this and decide that, with everything, there are rules and boundaries. This is also why I keep harping back to how I want to see this explored in the story. Senku clearly wants to help humanity and cares for others. He has morals and so has boundaries. I want to see him pushed to the edge, to see just how far he will go in the name of science and for the bettering of humanity. At the end of the day he is still human, everyone is.
Tukasaâs turn! The issue with Tukasaâs view point is simply because he thinks all young people are good people. This is not true. Old people can be good and bad. Adults can be good and bad. Children can be good and bad. It all depends on the person. This is not even mentioning the fact that children can not raise other children. No matter how wise Tukasa is for his age, he can not raise children (and yes teenagers count as children). There's a reason why in every culture all 3 stages of life serve a purpose and depend on each other, one cannot live without the other. He needs good people, not young people to restart humanity.
At first I saw it unfair and one sided how the story constantly depicted Tukasa as an evil person and that he is a tyrant. This was until it was pointed out to me that the reason for that is because Senku is the main character so the audience sees through his perspective, so if he sees Tukasa as evil, the audience will too. Even with that I understand why people will not like Tukasa and so in extension not listen to his argument. I want to give him a chance because he, and by extension the people like him, deserve it. I understand why people donât though. He smashes the statues of people because he genuinely believes that all are bad and so takes action to protect others, just like Senku who seemed ready to kill Tukasa with the crossbow he made and the gun he was going to use on him, they both thought what they were doing was right. This does not excuse either of their actions, no one to be clear can use this as an excuse, I still want to bring up a fact that I personally think people forget (including myself). The show is set in a post-apocalyptic world. Yes, characters can unpetrify other characters but some are too far gone. In the background we see statues missing limbs and body parts. I was actually surprised and skeptical when it was shown that there were so many perfectly intaced statues Tukasa was able to find. They must be made out of harder rock than I thought. Either way, I know people can survive without certain body parts and Iâm not saying they can't. It's just as far as we know, if they attempt to unpetrify someone missing a body part (especially if itâs a leg) they might bleed out instantly and without all the proper equipment needed. Or will the stone heal the stump? If so what if they find the missing part later? Can they reattach it? Can they attach body parts from other people and unpetrify them? What would happen? Would the stone merge the parts together or reject it? The stone is explicitly stated to have healing properties so what would happen? Itâs still too early to know and with knowing that information comes from human experimentation and could lead to many lives lost. It was ok with the birds because they were small and still intaced so there was no danger. The point that Iâm getting to is that the line is incredibly blurred and the drastic life-and-death situation everyone is in, I wouldn't jump to say Tukasa is a monster. He may be killing people or they could have been dead in the first place, not to mention like I said before it would be impractical and deadly to revive every human being on planet Earth.
This is why I think Tukasaâs plan is flawed. He is only one person and so is limited in his ideas. He thinks that only the young are good people and if only the characters would actually TALK to each other then both of them could see the flaws and work together instead of jumping to conclusions. I hope now that Senku and Tukasa are friends of sorts that they finally get to do that but again, I donât know I have not read the manga.
I have also heard (mainly from video essays on YouTube) that, uncoincidentally, people think that Tukasaâs ideals are naĂŻve when I think Senkuâs is. I find it amazing that both of us thought the same thing but of the opposite philosophy. The opinions they expressed made me realize something. Because humanity discovered science, it will do so again and again. While I thought it was naĂŻve to simply return to the way things were and not carry any of the emotional baggage needed to at least try and better humanity and learn from the past, someone else thought that it was futile to hinder the scientific process of humanity and go back to hunter-and-gatherers. I did disagree with some things they said, that is to be expected, but I also realized that that is what we have been doing since as far back as the history books go. It was called different names but the idea is still the same. We try to make sense of the world around us. In cultures across the world gods represented the natural world and phenomenon that occurred, it was just by a different name. Those religions and science try to explain the world around them. Why does corn grow? Quetzalcoatl makes them grow. Chlorophyll provides the nutrients necessary to sustain the plant and make it grow by Photosynthesis. Why does it snow? Frau Hole shakes her sheets and some feathers fall out, causing snow. With the evaporation of water leaves the gaseous form in the sky and if it gets cold enough will freeze and fall. Itâs all the same thing. Humans are curious by nature and will always be.
The things that I disagreed with was that they didnât really seem to think that science can coexist with nature, like itâs either one or the other. They explain that Tukasa believes humanity should be more naturalistic but also calls him stupid. I understand his side in thinking there is no way to revert back to being hunter-gatherers and that no matter what, over time people will rediscover science so the effort is futile. What I donât seem to understand is why we canât have both? It might seem naĂŻve at first considering everyone only knows a society of science that destroys the world for progress but with a world altering event like the one in the story and a good leader to boot, it is absolutely possible. The world has already changed so much so I donât see why people wouldn't (not talking about those greedy people and politicians, Iâm talking about the average human being). It just seems so cynical of humanity as a whole to give up before even trying. I understand we are all depressed but still. Itâs no excuse not to try.
My ideas for what they can do is to live both with nature and science. First set up rules and laws. Everyone can pitch in to create them and vote on which ones should be reinforced so that not one person has too much power and so the people collectively can understand the importance of those laws. Everyone can choose their job to do like black smithing, building, hunting, sewing and other jobs that are needed. With that they can either choose to have a form of currency or not but under no circumstances is anyone allowed to own land. The land is for everyone and the resources are to be shared accordingly. With the issue of the statues, it could be voted on who can be unpetrified. This way we donât raise the issue with Tukasa and Senku. One thought too narrow minded and the other was too broad. With the voting system everyone gets to assess the needs of the society as a whole and if the person unpetrified turns out to be bad, the blame would not fall on one person but everyone. This eliminates one person having too much power and subsequently the people would not revolt and kick them out of power, putting another in their place and the cycle starts anew. There can still be science, there will just be restrictions on what is acceptable to do or not.
I understand the flaws in my ideas. I know that making everyone agree to certain things is incredibly hard especially when there's no way anyone can really stop people from doing what they want. There is no government already put in place. They need to build one from scratch and make it so that everyone is down with it and will follow it. I also understand that people can be lazy and not know what they want. Some people will choose to be lazy and either not do their job or choose a job that is specifically lazy in nature. People also probably donât know what job they want to perform, this is especially prevalent in the young. People could also fight over who will be revived. I know many people, including myself, who have people in their life that they love but are not good people or who will probably not survive in the new world. I mean whoâs going to tell Becky that we all know she loves her grandfather but heâs racist, a known sex offender, and already has a diet of 20 hamburgers and 50 Gatorades, there is no way we can provide that much food, we donât even know if heâll eat it considering heâs use to junk food and we just reinvented bread a week ago. It tastes awful and the bakers are trying their best but no one can make 50 Gatorades . No one sure as hell wants a sex offender or racist around either.
My intentions for this essay are not to try and persuade you into thinking Senku is an awful person and whoever thinks like this is selfish and childish. Iâm very sorry if I did come across as that. I do believe Senku is right in some aspects like the whole âleveling the playing fieldâ thing and the curiosity humans naturally have towards science. I just think that everyone should not be unpetrified, that there should be laws in place on science to make sure itâs not unnecessarily cruel or harmful, and that in this situation it would be better to try and rebuild humanity better than in the past. Both Senku and Tukasa are flawed in their way of thinking. Humanity cannot survive with only one in power, shaping the world to what they want.
If you want to use my essay in a video or something you are welcome to as long as you credit me. If you want to respond or just talk about this topic feel free to, this is a discussion, not an argument.
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i could never look away: 1/2
otp: ten x rose
word count:Â 6229
summary: rose survived doomsday. this close call only brings her and the doctor closer together.
AO3
Rose Tylerâs knuckles grasped desperately to the lever in her hand. Sheâs outsmarted every challenge sheâs ever faced, and this time would be no different, she told herself.
But her mind was filling with an overwhelming sense of dread. Over her shoulder, the Void pulled at her with all its might, a might almost stronger than hers. Every muscle in her body ached. Every fiber of her being was crying out in desperate pain.
She turned back to look at the Doctor. He was so far away, she could barely make him out, but she saw the fear on his face and felt her own fear spill through her veins like poison. She could hardly breathe.
The wind whipped against her, which was not helping. With every passing second she felt more and more dread surrounding her. The white of the walls seemed to be growing dark and closing in.
Her finger slipped.
âDoctor!â she cried out, but her mouth didnât make a sound. She let out a shriek, silent.
Her hands were ripped suddenly from the clamp, the pull of the Void too strong.
âDoctor!â She seemed to fall in slow motion.
Very distantly, she heard, âRose.â
There was a weight on her shoulder. She felt like she couldn't breathe deep enough.
âRose.â Clearer now.
It was like something was pulling her up, upâŚ..
âRose, youâre okay.â
Roseâs eyes flew open. Her heart pounded in her chest like a prisoner trying to break free of its cage. She gasped for air as her eyes flew around the room wildly.
She was in her room, on the TARDIS. She took another deep breath. She had been so scared, of losing the Doctor, and her life among the stars andâŚ..
âYou alright?â
She looked to her right. The Doctor. Thank God. She tackled him in a hug as she willed her heart to stop hammering.
âYeah, jusâ a bad dream.â She let out a low sigh. âIt was about today, anâ.... What else could have happened, ifâŚâ
âI know,â the Doctor said. He really did know -- heâd seen all the timelines twisting in that very moment, and if he wouldnât have thought to tie her to the clampâŚ. He shivered. Looking at the timelines now scared him just as much as it did then, even though the danger had already passed. The thought of losing Rose was sickening, and the idea that it could have become a reality so easily was even worse.
âIâm sorry,â she murmured, âI didnât mean to wake you.â
He pulled away a little to look at her. âI wasnât really sleeping. Itâs okay. Do you want to talk about it?â
She shrugged. Rose had a shy look on her face that the Doctor knew wasnât usual. What had happened today (or rather, what could have happened) had really shaken her. It broke his hearts to see her like this.
âI justâŚâ she paused, âI canât stop thinking âbout it. I close my eyes, and I can't keep my mind from drifting there and worrying, until Iâm all worked up again.â She let out a heavy sigh. âItâs silly, I know, I know that itâs all okay now. But I canât stopâŚâ she shook her head. âI canât get it out of my mind. I canât sleep.â
The Doctor studied her for a moment.
He knew exactly what would help, but he didnât know if Rose would like it.
âI think the emotional centers of your brain need a break, hm? They were pushed to their limits today, and are now working themselves into overdrive trying to process everything, itâs why those memories keep resurfacing no matter how much you try to push them down.â He steeled himself. âI could, uhm, well, I could help, with that, if you wanted? Iâd have to go into your mind of course, and I know how that makes you feel, so if that makes you uncomfortable, thatâs okay.â
âMakes me uncomfortable?â
âWell, on our first adventure, the TARDIS was translating in your head for you and you said you didnât like it,â he said, a bit confused.
Rose let out a small laugh. âI just didnât like that it all happened without my consent, Doctor. Iâm thankful that Iâve got the old girl in my head.â She watched him for a moment. She made sure she locked eyes with him as she said, âI trust you,â and brought his hands up to her temples.
The Doctor knew he would never stop being amazed by Rose, but he still couldnât help beingâŚ. well, amazed. That she trusted him like that was beyond words.
âYouâll feel me at the edge of your mind,â he said. âJust let me in.â
Sure enough, Rose felt a tingle at the edge of her conscience, as if someone were knocking on a door only she knew about. She imagined the Doctor on the other side, and threw it open.
She could tell the moment he stepped into her thoughts.
Is this alright? he asked.
Yeah.
Rose watched (or rather, felt) as he moved through her mind, looking around. The minute he found what he was looking for she knew, because all her unease and anxiety about the past day was suddenly abating behind a wave of reassurance and comfort. It was like crawling into bed and cuddling up beneath fluffy blankets after an exhausting day. She couldnât help but bask for a moment in how good it felt.
Then, she realized something. If the Doctor could do this for her, surely she could do this for him, too.
Rose observed him a bit more, then turned to go the way heâd come from, back to his mind. Since the connection between the two of them was already open, she stepped through, delicately as she could. She didnât know exactly what she was doing, so she moved as lightly as possible.
She looked around just as he had, for anything that seemedâŚ. Hurt. In pain. Todayâs events werenât that hard to spot, because they were at the forefront of his mind. She moved a little closer, and contemplated what to do for a moment before taking action.
Rose focused hard on the pain she felt in him, and the fear, and drew it as close to her as she could. She wasnât exactly sure how this worked, but she projected the same sort of reassurance and comfort that she had felt from him. She imagined that his thoughts were a big group of somethingand she was drawing it in for a hug as tight as she could.
Out of the corner of her eye, something else caught her attention. The fear of loss from today seemed to stem from something else, something bigger, like a weed that had found a place to grow in the crack in the sidewalk. She followed the thread to its source, to a memory she hadnât been a part of.
Suddenly, she was overwhelmed with grief and hurt like nothing she had ever seen. Scenes of people screaming and crying, and flames, and unbelievable pain, like nothing she had ever seen flashed before her. Surrounding it all was shame so powerful Rose felt like she was drowning.
And she knew exactly what this memory must be.
The Time War.
The one thing the Doctor never talked about.
Finally, she really, really understood why. If it was this painful of a memory, she couldnât blame him for pushing it away as far as it would go.
His memories from today lead her here because he had already lost everything, and he couldnât stand to lose her too.
Her heart felt like it was about to shatter in her very chest. If she were still in the physical world, she would have had tears streaming down her face. She couldnât imagine carrying this much sadness. She couldnât believe the Doctor had so much contempt for himself.
Her Doctor, who had saved her life on numerous occasions. Her Doctor, who had given her some of the best days of her life. Who had shown her true joy and complete happiness. Who had given her the stars and the most wonderful things she had ever seen. Who would give everything to keep her safe. Who had accompanied her through some of the lowest and scariest parts of her life like there was no place heâd rather be.
Her favorite person in the universe.
There was the sorrow she felt from his memories, but on top of that there was the pain she felt for him.
With all her might, Rose tried to gather up any pain or sadness or shame and draw it as close to her as possible. She was on her knees, giving as much love as she possibly could. Sheâd do anything to fix this for him.
Rose felt the Doctorâs conscience startle.
Rose? He sounded alarmed almost.
Sheâd been so lost in sympathy for the Doctor, sheâd completely forgotten how far sheâd wandered into his mind. With a hurried final burst of comfort, she retreated as fast as she could out and into the physical world.
When she opened her eyes, she found the Doctor staring at her in disbelief.
âIâm so sorry Doctor, I know I got carried away, I didnât mean to, Iâm sorry.â
âNo, Rose, itâs okay, I was just surprised. What were you up to?â
She bit her lip and looked away. âWell, you were helping me, and it felt so good, and I thought, surely I can do the same for you. So I went back the way you came, and found your memories of today, and I tried to heal it, but then there wasâŚ. Something else, attached to it, and it was so much deeper, and sadder, and IâŚ. I knew what it was, the one thing you never talk about, and I justâŚâ She could feel her throat closing up.
âItâs okay.â The Doctor smiled softly at her. âYou just what?â
She let out a shaky breath. âI just wanted to make it better.â Her voice wavered and cracked on the last syllable, her lip trembling.
âIâm sorry, I know I shouldnât have ventured that deep, I know thatâs private. Iâm so sorry, Doctor. I justâŚâ She remembered the pain and the grief and felt her heart breaking all over again. âI⌠I never knewâŚ. I would do anything to make you feel better, Doctor, thereâs so much you donât know about yourself, about how good you are, I wish I could take some of that sadness from you.â
Finally, she ventured a glance back at him. His eyes were wide. She watched him for a moment, before --
He sat up abruptly, turning and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed so he was facing away from her.
Oh, no , she thought. I should have known not to mention it, itâs his greatest insecurity and Iâve just gone wandering right through it like itâs nothing, dredging it all back up again. She wished she could take it back. She couldnât imagine how hard this was for him.
âDoctor?â she tried softly. Nothing.
Carefully, she sat up and scooted next to him, and waited a moment to see if he would move away. He didnât.
She chanced a look at his face to see, was he angry? Was he scared?
No, he was crying.
Rose had never seen the Doctor cry.
Oh, god, Iâve really mucked it up. He tries to do one nice thing for me, and I go bringing up his trauma. Scenes of the Doctor shying away from Rose amidst anything sensitive came rushing into her mind. Heâs gonna send me away , she thought. Thereâs no way I can come back from this. Â
âDoctor,â she took an uneven breath. âIâm so sorry. If I would have thought better for even a second, I wouldnât have done that. I know how hard it is for you, and I never should have gone just traipsing through your mind. Iâm so sorry.â
The Doctor said nothing for a moment, and scrubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes. Then, ever so subtly, he shook his head.
What?
âThatâs not it,â he said, ever so quietly.
âThen what is?â
The Doctor swallowed thickly. He thought of turning to look at Rose, but he didnât know how he could meet her gaze. She had seen the whole of him, who he really was, and yetâŚ
He felt her place a hand on his back, and his breath shuddered in his lungs in reply. He didnât deserve her.
âIâm here for you, just take your time.â
At that, another cry built up in his chest, and he tried to swallow it back. He could feel his whole body shaking.
How could he tell her? How could he even begin to process that, after seeing his darkest, most terrible moments, she wanted nothing but to help him heal? To draw him closer? He couldnât think of how heâd ever look her in the eyes again. She knew who was, now. Knew that he was a murderer. Knew all his deepest shame, and all the grief that he carried with him like clothes on his back.
She saw him.
And somehow, she didnât want to look away.
The Doctor drew in a shuddering breath. âI neverâŚ. Thought that anyone could see what Iâve doneâŚ. Who I am⌠and want to get closer, not farther away.â
Roseâs mind took a second to catch up.
So, he wasnât mad then.
The air whooshed out of her lungs.
âDoctor, of course I do.â She scooted closer to him. âI made my choice that I am gonna stay with you, and that didnât mean I wanted to spend my forever with someone I was going to get only sort of close with.â
She looked at him again, the man who had seen the rise and fall of civilizations, saved lives, felt the turn of the Earth and made time bend to his will. The man who lived the loneliest life in the universe. The man sheâd do anything for, who she wanted to spend every day for the rest of her life with. The man who sheâŚ.
Rose took a deep breath. She had to tell him. He had to know. After everything they had been through at Canary Wharf, and all they could have lost.
âI⌠I know this isnât really your thing, but⌠I love you, Doctor. And I mean it, because loving someone means loving every part of them, no matter what. How could I ever look at a part of you thatâs wounded and resent you for it?â She took another breath to steady herself. âLoving you means I'm going to always try and help you get better. Always. When... when I said I wanted to stay with you forever, this is what I meant. Iâm not about to let you be stuck with all this sadness if I can help shoulder some of it.â
The weight of her words hit the Doctor like a train and he couldnât help himself from looking up immediately to watch her face.
Shit , Rose thought, that was way too much. Heâs gonna be so overwhelmed, and he doesnât think of me like that, and --
The Doctor tackled her in a hug.
She could tell that he was crying, and he was holding her so, so tight.
Relief bloomed in her chest.
âShh⌠youâre okay, Doctor, itâs okay. Iâm here for you. Itâs all gonna be okay.â
They sat like that for a while, clinging to each other. Rose rubbed the Doctorâs back while he tried to pull himself together, which was admittedly difficult. He was so overwhelmed by everything Rose had said and done in the past few minutes, and he didnât deserve an ounce of it. But that didnât mean that he didnât think she was the best thing that ever happened to him. And that certainly didnât mean he would ever let her go.
Finally, the Doctor pulled away slowly, sitting up and turning his head away to wipe his eyes, more than a little ashamed of what a mess he was. But before he could stay that way for too long, Roseâs hand was on his shoulder, turning him back to face her. He looked at her shyly as she began to speak.
âIf thereâs ever something I can do to help you feel better, I want you to tell me.â Rose took his hand in hers, and he squeezed it. âIf that means going into your mind every night to give you, I don't know, good vibes or whatever, I'll do it. I care about you, Doctor.â Despite her heart pounding a beat like a thunderstorm, she still gave him a gentle, reassuring smile. âWeâre gonna get through this together, you ân me, no matter what.â
For perhaps the thousandth time that evening, the Doctor felt the air leave his lungs. He squeezed her hand again and closed what little space there was between them.
âRose⌠I love you, too. Iâm so sorry you didnât know sooner.â
All she could hear was static.
He loved her.
Their eyes met and they shared watery smiles, looking at each other through their eyelashes and blushing like there was fire in their cheeks.
Rose leaned in, just a little, and wasnât mistaken if she thought the Doctor might have been leaning in too. He stopped just before her lips, as if waiting for a sign.
She squeezed his hands, as if to say, I want this too.
Delicately, with all the reverence of a man about to enter the gates of heaven, he kissed her.
It was unlike any kiss Rose had ever had. Never had she felt so much love radiating off such a small gesture. Never had she wanted so desperately to return that love in full force.
When they pulled away, they were grinning at each other like idiots. The Doctor couldnât keep from looking at Rose in complete awe. She was the answer to all his prayers. He would do anything for her.
They sat for a while, hugging and kissing and smiling before they finally crawled back under the covers. Rose snuggled up right against the Doctorâs chest, wrapping her arms around him and placing a kiss to whatever part of his body was nearest. He drew her as close to him as he could.
âGood night, Doctor. I love you,â she murmured. He could hear the smile in her voice.
âGood night, sweet Rose.â He kissed her on the head. âI love you too.â
#ficandchips#rose tyler#tenth doctor#otp: if i believe in one thing i believe in her#doctor x rose#tenth doctor x rose#my fic
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Chapter 9: A Witness and Witless
Chapter summary: A realisation for Alexis, kindly dished by Captain Price. Meanwhile, danger is the gift that keeps on giving. (3284 words).
Warnings: N/A.Â
29 October 2019, 0500 "Alexis" and "Alex" | Codename Aces CIA with SAS and Urzik militia Sakhra, Urzikstan
  Having her forehead split open had its benefit. Okay, maybe that was arguable, but Alexis was mildly grateful that the unbearable stings stirred her awake. It saved from her reliving a gauche situation: sleeping limbs entangled with her best friend, who she almost kissed, again.
They were practically squashed together, her head pillowed against his firm chest. Seeing how paranoid and sharp to his surroundings Alex was, his iron grips were challenging to snake out of it, good thing she had practice.
Here, at 5 am, while others were desperately chasing some sleep, Alexis was too engrossed in her own thoughts. The past 24 hours happened like a flash, and the Wolf was her highlight, making her fidget uncomfortably just at the thought.
You should have fought harder, been stronger, not falter at his baseless threats. Alexis had no one but herself to blame for allowing the Wolf to escape. The guilt her mistake carried fuelled the fire inside her, with revenge as additional gasoline to the mix.
The Chinese had a saying: "for what you do upon me, I'd unleash it ten times worse." Omar Sulaman would regret ever threatening her.
Seeking refuge under a dying tree at the residence's courtyard, she brooded in reflection. At least she figured out an end goal for the Wolf, but the friendship between Alex and her was shaky, at best. Alexis released an exhale of pent-up frustration, fingers weaving her chocolate locks into a braid. So immersed with overthinking, she almost failed to catch Price's approaching footsteps.
"No rest for the wicked, eh?" He arched a concerned brow at her stitches.
Alexis cracked a smile, "'Course." Patting beside her, she gestured for Price to take a seat with her on the patch of dried grass. "Please, don't be a nanny. Just sit down."
"Fantastic. I'm in no mood for that either," Price replied. His face briefly caught silvers of golden rays, accentuating the eye bags and fine lines that revealed just how much Price had aged since their last encounter. Even without the combat vest, his broad shoulders remained permanently slouched.
Alexis smelled smoke before the wisps floated past her. Witnessing how it relaxed Price, she shuts her mouth. "Something wrong?" she guessed, feeling the passing smoke layer her tongue with a woody fragrance, suddenly feeling the need to spit.
"The Butcher... Bastard didn't even spare a kid." Price took another deep inhale.
Alexis sighed, "We'll make him pay."
"Damn right." The price of war was a hefty one. And Alexis idolised John Price for his unwavering tenacity. By far, he was the most unbreakable person she'd ever met.
"So..." Alexis steered the topic, "What cover story did you tell Maddox and Forbes this time?"
Price scoffed lightly, a light-hearted undertone in his words, "Ah, I didn't bother. Bloody bitch about it, is all they do." Though Price, Maddox and Forbes all knew each other, Alexis always questioned what kind of Doomsday loomed over the world for a SAS Captain, Task Force Black's commander and a CIA handler to cross paths. Candidly, it made her excited to know why.
"Something going on between you and Alex?" Price questioned abruptly.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She confidently lied, ignoring the tingling sensation on her lips.
"For your sake, I hope you lie better when you're on the job," he mocked. Did she develop a tell? How did Price always know?
"Ah, it's just a bunch of gossips, don't feed into it."
"It's a reliable source," that piqued her curiosity.
"Kyle," she deadpanned, twisting her body towards Price. "Call MacTavish, I'm gonna skin Kyle alive."
Price hummed, giving her an amused look, "That'd be a waste of talent. So it's true, you two dating?"
She didn't even know the answer herself, so she replied with something safe, "We're friends, always have been." Her gaze averted to the small wildflowers blossoming under the base of the tree she leaned on. Chrysanthemums, its deep red petals swaying gently against the wind currents, almost like a greeting wave. Alexis scratched her head at the timely symbolism.
"Don't get stupid, you know better than most that nothing lasts forever," Price chided with a distant look in his eyes. "That boy looks at you like there isn't a war waging on."
Alexis sighed, twirling the stalks of red chrysanthemum hesitantly, "That's the problem. Wars are happening, it's selfish."
The Captain huffed almost disappointedly, "There's always a war. You see something you want, you best hold onto it before something blows it up."
"Shouldn't you advise me against fraternisation, Captain?" She smiled.
Staggered smokes escaped when Price let out a short laugh, "Whoever tries to boss you around is an idiot. Do I look like one?"
"No, no you're not," she chuckled, always finding wisdom in Price's words. So when he told her the way Alex looked at her wasn't platonic, she believed him. Not like it was unbelievable or anything. The way he tirelessly searched for her in a crowd every few momentsâthen smile when their gaze meets. With ample practices over the years, she'd successfully ignored how much he burned her insides with a simple look.
Now, maybe she didn't need to.
Alexis was always more of a spy than a soldierâat least, that was what Maddox always said about her. A natural God instinct to read the room, practically able to smell the changes like a bloodhound. Yet she was slow to pick up on the change in their friendship.
Slow, and a little reluctant. Now that she opened the floodgates that she guarded for so long, every possible feeling punched their way to her heart.
She was still in love with Alex. A chilling sensation ran over her spine when she inwardly admitted that. It puzzled her if it was relief or nerves? Either way, it jolted a new kind of excitement in her. Every exhale felt lighter.
"And what about you and Laswell?" Alexis retorted smugly, enjoying the rare stunned expression that slipped onto her mentor's face. "C'mon, give me some credit. The most impressive agent you've ever come across, right? I read your debrief about me from the Caucasus mission."
At his threatening frown, she held up surrendering hands, "Alright, alright! I'm done here."
Price ignored her teases, stubbing out his cigar at the base of the tree. "The Caucasus... That's what, 7 years ago? You just made JSOC back then."
Alexis cackled at the memory, "Back then you didn't have this glorious moustache. Remember when I pulled a knife on Mactavish?"
"Scared the lad shitless. Didn't show it, but sure as well saw it," Price continued, a smirk present on his face.
"I sure as hell felt it. Mactavish's pulse was jumping." Then she paused, realising Price purposely dodged her questions. So she tried again, "Don't avoid my questions, I'm a great matchmaker!"
He shot her a look, "Says the oblivious fool."
"Touche. But still-"
Luckily, Hadir spotted them, sliding open the residence's glass door and jogged up to them. "Oh, Hadir! Thank goodness you're here, Price was about to murder me."
Hadir squinted in confusion. "Ignore her," Price got to his feet and dusted the grass off his camo pants, sending the gleeful agent a hard glare. "Lass hit her head too hard, she's spewing rubbish. Careful, Hadir." He patted Hadir's back and started to head back to the house.
"C'mon mate!" Alexis yelled after him with a butchered English accent. "I said I'm sorry!" She laughed at Price's slightly gapped mouth.
"Did I mention?" His hands steadied against the sliding door, "You're benched!"
With that, Price slid the glass door closed, wearing an amused expression as she yelled pleads after him with no avail. "Petty old fellow."
Hadir sat on Price's previous spot, gracing her with a chocolate bar. Unlike commercial ones, military chocolate hardly tasted edibleâfor somebody who hated chocolates, it was a torture to sink her teeth into the hard cocoa blocks. "Hadir, you couldn't find anything else?"
"It's chocolate!"
"You think."
His enthusiasm didn't die down as he chowed down his own energy bar, but after a few chews, Hadir promptly stuck out his tongue in disgust, earning a burst of hearty laughter from Alexis, "People eat this?"
"Dumb soldiers do. But the smart ones..." Alexis pulled out a packet of biscuits from the side pocket of her pants, wiggling in front of Hadir. She snatched the cup of hot water from him and dunked the biscuits in, much to his protests. Seconds later, the biscuit softened to a texture that resembled a sponge cake. Alexis urged the wide-eyed Hadir to take a bite.
Hadir was sceptical until he tried it, pleasantly surprised. He praised, "Finally, some food fit for humans!"
"Genius, right?" He nodded in agreement, passing her the cup to share. "And I can see that look in your eyes that you want to ask if I'm okay, so answer your question: I'm fine, although I'm sick of people asking me that. Thinking about tattooing the answer across my forehead, wanna help?"
"Horrible idea... Count me in. But no, not your injuries, here," he pointed at his heart. "You feel bad for letting the Wolf go, I know. It's not your fault, Alenaâ Alexis," he corrected. "Your names are confusing."
The smirk on her face faltered slightly. Though it quickly returned, Hadir already saw the cracks in her smile. Then she decided not to bother with the facade. "I should have fought harder. I imagine there are people who should be alive right now if not for me."
"Like I said, not your fault. In all my years, you got my sister and me closer than we've ever been to end this war... We've lost many brothers and sisters to get to this point. Between Barkov and the Wolf, I'm not sure which of these dogs are worse." His words had a certain edge in them, reminding her how much this war changed Hadir. "But they are not careless men. Why did the Wolf keep you alive?"
"Said he wanted to watch me suffer," Alexis answered honestly, hesitantly taking another bite of her dessert. "Jokes on him. I'm gonna crush him. We're gonna fucking crush them."
Hadir pulled his legs closer to his chest, returning a small smile when she rested a comforting hand on his knees, "With a big enough stone, right?"
"Damn right."
ââââââ
Even with the miraculous arrival of a second chance, it doesn't mean Alexis made it easy. Now was the perfect example for his argument.
"Maybe you did hit your head too hardâlook in the mirror and tell me if you see a large cut across your forehead, because I might be seeing things." He pinched his nose bridge in distress. Price had tasked the very injured Alexis to sweep houses with Bravo Team, take it easy and all.
Alexis wore a polite smile and calmly said, "Fuck you."
"How eager," he retorted, knowing just the way to irk her.
She threw up her trusty middle finger, "Hard pass."
Really? She thought, playing hard to get is so 2002, Alexis.
"Really?" He moved closer, and except for a hardened face, Alexis did nothing to stop him. Trapped between Alex and a table, she breathily observed the blue flecks in his irises, avoiding his alluring pink lips that was definitely calling to her. "Trouble breathing?"
Alexis swallowed her nerves, "The only trouble I'm having is my lack of personal space."
"Ouch..." His head fell defeatedly on her shoulder, chuckling. "Lexi, honey..." he gilded, eyes boring into her own. She kept still and bit her tongue at the pet name, watching his gaze travel down her face, maybe her lips.
Alex pressed more of his weight against her, "Be a good girl for me. Consider I said please."
Her heart quickened, sparing a quick glance at the wide-open door full of Marines who stood oblivious to their actions, but if they continued standing in this position, it was just a matter of time. "You're adding to the rumours..."
"So everybody thinks we're dating, big deal." He slammed the door shut to prove a point.
Are we? What is this between us?
She tasted the words on the tip of her tongue. Alex's flirting had become painfully obvious that she wasn't the sole player of this game anymore. And instead of addressing it, her wickedness took overâlightly chewing down her lips just to confirm her suspicions again.
A knowing smile slowly builds when he took the bait.
Alex blinked rapidly, retreating instantly. His attempt to clear his throat was pathetic, voice throaty as he said, "You're going with Bravo, no arguments."
"Like hell. The medic cleared me!"
Alex paused thoughtfully, rolling up his sleeves up his forearm. If this was his sly attempt to distract her, it worked. Reasons beyond her, his tattooed arms were incredibly attractive. "Was that before or after you threaten him?"
He didn't... Alexis recalled the easily convinced medic. Sue her for having a way with words. She smiled sweetly, refocusing on packing her combat bag, "You have no proof."
"Tell that to your face," he rolled his eyes. "Babe, come on, there's not enough time for me to tie you to a bed."
She'd admit to almost choking at his unexpected comment. Like a good spy, she hung a scowl at his charming smirkârefusing to play into his trap. Then, she internalised his appearance, styled hair, in the middle of a war. Still so vain. Probably trying to impress her, cute.
"Number one, you're god damn shamelessâ"
"I call it honesty," he shrugged.
"Outrageous, not to mention scandalous-" she corrected.
Alex huffed, throwing his head back briefly.
"Number two, I'm pretty sure Wade outside there, who was shot in the thigh is still on the mission. Talk about a double standard."
Usually, this danger zone was when Alex would back off. But today, she was convinced he had an intensified case of a stick up his ass. Still, he brazenly took the loaded magazines off her hands. "I'm trying to not treat you any differently from the boys, if that's what you're implying. I just don't want anything else to happen to you, Alexis."
"But I am different, Alex! I'm not the boys," the menace in her voice was hard to miss, a stark juxtaposition to the playfulness, "I don't want to be one of the boys. Read my damn resume, you really think this injury will be the one to do me in?" Her neck craned upwards to meet him, "I'm still standing. I can do this."
Alex finally uncrossed his arms and nodded, "Okay."
She cast a suspicious sideways glance, "That's it?"
Alex hummedâ actually hummed this time. Her eyebrows shot heavenward, which amused him. "You expected a few more rounds, didn't you?" At her nod, "I trust you, that's all."
"Huh... Usually, you'd try harder. Say something melodramatic like: No, Alexis! You'll quite possibly die, bleed out to deathâ"
"Defamatory, I do not sound like that," he insisted upon her dramatic pause and casual dismissal of hands.
Alexis poked accusingly into his chest, "Something's wrong with you." He smirked like he knew something she didn't, and ironically, she did. You're not that slick, Romeo. Two can play this game.
"Funny. Here I thought a master profiler like yourself had better skills."
Part of her questioned if it was a double meaning, but shook it off. Grabbing her stolen magazines from his grasp, "Come on, we have a war to fight."
She wondered if Alex's blood had always run so hot when she reached over to grab his arm, surely she wasn't the only one who felt that. But Alex remained silent and allowed her to push him towards the door. They were about to step out until her satellite phone sounded. The two shared looks of caution at the odd notion, her phone hardly rang. Alex was the designated communication channel, and with Price's arrival, he carried that responsibility.
Unless it was an emergency... She quickly accepted the call. "This is a secured line, identify yourself and how you got this number."
"I have my ways. Good to hear you're still breathing."
Her shoulders relaxed, "Ruddiger. Why wouldn't Iâ Did something happen?"
"Saint, listen carefully, I don't have much time." Â She mumbled a quick apology before kicking him out the room.
"Okay, I'm ready."
"After you left, we got a tip about Valhalla's safe house. It was a scam to draw our attention away from Boucher." Her stomach clenched at the ominous feeling. "He's dead. Someone got to him."
"In the Hostel? That's not possible." The whole point of a Blacksite was that it didn't exist.
"It's true, Saint. I saw his body with my own eyes. We found a trackerâplastic polymer, explains why it didn't show up when we wanded him." He continued when Alexis didn't reply, "This shit gets worse. They got a list... Of everybody who's on the op."
Her heart stopped right then, "No fucking way. Where are you now? And wait, this is high-level intel, how do you-"
"I'm officially CIA, thanks to your glowing recommendation. So technically, I'm also here to say I owe you one. The welcoming committee sucks, they're putting us in safe houses. All except you."
Then Alex burst through the doors, signalling it was time to move, but paused at her ghastly face. She held up a shaky hand, "Well, fuck, mon sauveur, huh? Thanks for the intel, but you do know you just broke protocol?"
From the anxious rubs on her face, Alex knew something was really wrong.
Ruddiger laughed on the other line, "Consider it my gratitude for your olive branch. I gotta go. Stay safe, Saint. You'll never know how far Valhalla can reach."
"I'm in the middle of a war. He'll never find me here," she braved through the unsteadiness in her voice. When the call ended, she remained on the chair, still profoundly dumbstruck. She didn't know which was worse: that someone managed to infiltrate a Level 10 CIA blacksite, spooking Valhalla, or that her name was sitting somewhere on a hit list.
Another question bagged her, was it her real name? A thousand worries crashed down onto her. Why haven't Forbes or Maddox called?
"Hey," Alexis jumped at the touch, instilling more fret in Alex, who kneeled before her chair. "You're shaking. You okay?"
Alexis knew Alex wouldn't stop until he got an answer. Yet she couldn't give it to him, she'd put him in danger.
"Always," she mustered the biggest smile she could. And because of that, Alex saw right through her. But there wasn't time to dig further, they had a war to fight. Besides, for all she knew, she was safe, for now.
If Forbes or Maddox haven't called, it meant she was still safe. She'd focus on that.
When she wordlessly slung her rifle and holstered her guns, there was a heavier feeling bubbling inside her. Alexis didn't have a good omen, but she couldn't pinpoint if her gut was referring to today's war, or the brewing one.
Ah fuck, is there a difference? War is war.
War is war, was her final thought as she got ready to start a day full of tragedies.
Alexis should have listened to her gut.
â§ÍâşË*¡ŕź
a/n: taking a minute to say thank you to all of you!! i never thought Killer Instinct would receive so much love, but here we are, thank you lovers!!
taglist: @flyboidameron @wanderlustgiant @captain-pikas-worldâ (wanna be tagged? lmk!)
#call of duty x oc#call of duty x reader#alex modern warfare#alex cod#echo 3-1#john price#captain price#kyle garrick#farah karim#hadir karim#kate laswell#oc: alexis#ysrwrites: kl#killer instinct#fanfiction#modern warfare
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Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 20
Surprise, this blog series continues! I have no intention of letting it end at episode 19. (I mean, thatâs not even a nice round number!) While these arenât liveblogs any more, they still give me an opportunity to discuss meta.Â
Life lesson learned: once you start a series of anything, do not stop until itâs finished--no matter what other projects come up, no matter how shiny they are, and no matter how much youâre dreading watching episode 23. Since I do my best work when feeling inspired, I hate to wait and let my enthusiasm for the new project cool, but jumping ship only ends in two unfinished projects instead of one.
This is going to be arranged by theme, not so much chronologically. Also, it ended up being more about Wolfwood than originally intended. Including a spoiler, so be careful.
Millieâs Transmitter
Millie reports that the Chief of Bernadelli gave her a transmitter/tracking device, which must be a rare, valuable piece of technology -- to prevent anyone from outwitting her. Meryl replies that this is nothing to brag about. I disagree.
First of all, the chief cares about her enough to entrust her with this bragworthy technology. She must have earned his trust and good opinion, also an achievement. He could easily punish or fire her, but instead gives her a tool to perform better. Countless people with learning disabilities dream of bosses like this.Â
People tend to take a harmful all-or-nothing attitude towards disabilities. Either PWD are incapable of doing things and nothing can be done about it, or they are capable of doing things, and shouldnât need help. Since people with disabilities themselves live in society, they end up indoctrinated and taking the same attitudes towards themselves. Shame and self-hatred often result. People strive for years, often with therapy, to get to the matter of fact acceptance Millie shows here.
***
Vash in Hell
Everything is red, from the beginning. The sand, himself and his clothes, the sky. Knives comes into view, blurry and mostly in shadow, only one eye visible. What looks like meteors, probably chunks from the ships, fall through the sky like rain. Weâre seeing from Vashâs point of view.
When waking Vash, Knivesâ voice is normal, sounding like a real child. It doesnât change to his growly evil voice until Vash accuses him of being a murderer. Then, his eye loses its pupil, and he suddenly appears to have fangs. He looks like heâs become some sort of monster. Not human, as Vash says.
Knives beats him up for even daring to compare him to a human. What hurts the most about this is you know itâll be a long time, and probably many more such beatings, before Vash leaves.
Was it ever possible to take care of Knives? Was Remâs last request reasonable?
Vash announces heâs finally ready to face Knives. What impresses me most: heâs finally making a significant decision for himself.
***
Meet the Folks
How is Vash more attractive in normal clothes than his signature coat, even in scenes showing only his face? Speaking of which, this episode is full of beautiful shots of Vashâs face. Wolfwoodâs, too.Â
How the hell did Wolfwood get here? He said he was concerned about Vash crying then jumping off a cliff, and followed him. However, he seems to have climbed up from below. How would he have found a floating platform? Certainly, none is visible below him. And since he seems to know nothing about the flying ship, he canât have taken Vashâs strategy and jumped onto a platform at just the right time.Â
âCome meet the folks!â Yes, they actually do have a summer cottage in the sky. Ever wonder why Vashâs head is always in the clouds? ;)Â
Wolfwood actually says âIâm getting sick of your lies.â Hypocritical much?
Wolfwood is the first guest Vash has brought âhomeâ in over 20 years (in other words, since he became The Stampede)!Â
Does that mean that the whole time Vash has been on the run, he hasnât visited the SEEDS ship (probably to prevent anyone tracking him from discovering it)? Vash could have simply hid out for the last 20 years in the SEEDS ship; itâs his home, after all. Instead, he chose to go out and protect people from Knives, and each other. (How many of us would have made the same choice?)
***
Inside Legatoâs Lair
What does this informant know about Chapelâs duties? From the way Legato dismisses his concerns, it seems like Knivesâ followers arenât given much information about each other.
Wolfwood is now doomed. âYouâre such a fool. Had you behaved, you might have lived to see Doomsday. But Iâm pleased, for I now have the opportunity to carry out another of my masterâs wishes.âÂ
A surprisingly restrained evil chuckle from Legato. Thank you for sparing us a full-on villain laugh.
How does Legato get shoulder padding that sticks out that far? Each shoulder is almost twice as big as his head.
***
A Series of Awkward Events
The ship has a whole observation team. No one should be able to get up here without the SEEDS leaders knowing, right? Right? ...
The old man tells Brad Vash has changed over the years. How?Â
After all this buildup, Brad opens the door, letting in blinding light, and this is what he sees:
The legend acting like an idiot and getting his butt kicked. Very dignified.Â
This is Bradâs reaction:
âIs that your great legend?! Huh?!â âWhat a relief! He hasnât changed at all.â (A relief? What were they afraid would have happened to him?)
Brad is not amused by Wolfwoodâs touchy-feely ways.
âWhoâs he?â Vash, looking embarrassed:Â âIâm not sure.â Fair enough, but not very helpful, and Wolfwood doesnât elaborate. We already know and love Vashâs embarrassed grin, but I canât get over Wolfwoodâs almost sinister smile in the mirror.Â
A cute moment where Vash looks back like, âisnât my place great?â and Wolfwood just gapes like an idiot. (Close your mouth, my dude. Flies are gonna get in).Â
Vash last visited about 20 years ago, and Jessica was a small child then, so she should be about 23 or 24. However, she looks and acts like a teenager. Vash inadvertently becomes part of an unwanted love triangle.
To his credit, Vash tries to put her off, in a joking way (âI have a reputation for being easy but even I need a bit of advance warningâ). Wolfwood makes the whole situation worse by teasing Vash about his âgirlfriendâ in front of a fuming Brad. Itâs as if he were going out of his way to antagonize the people on the ship.
When Vash actually has a chance to look at Jessicaâs face, he remembers her. Think about that. He may only have met her once, itâs been 20 years, and he still recognizes her and remembers her name. How many other people does he remember from the past ~130 years? This is how he uses his powerful plant brain--Knives would view it as a waste.
Jessica cooks a feast for Vash, which, tragically, he wonât get to enjoy. How did she cook all this food so fast? Itâs enough to feed the whole ship.
***
Wolfwood is mistrusted for the wrong reasons
Wolfwood actually takes off his shades and armor of acting like a jerk while introducing himself to Jessica. This is unusually open and vulnerable of him. He actually is trying to behave. But Brad, worried about âa bunch of outsidersâ bringing war to their flying paradise, hits him where it hurts. Â
...Did I mention Wolfwood has beautiful eyes?
Anyway, everyone gathers around staring at Wolfwood from a distance, while he drops cigarettes on the ground. Thereâs an entire pile lying at his feet. The whole scene is the definition of passive aggressive.Â
What seems to anger Wolfwood is not so much how they treat him personally, but their denial combined with moral superiority. Not to push a metaphor too far, but these folks are able to take the moral high horse because their literal high position keeps them safe. Yet, they use this immense privilege not to help the world below, or to prepare for the shipâs inevitable fall, but to hide in their castle in the sky. It clicks for me that Wolfwood probably feels about running away the way Vash does about suicide (think back to episode 11).Â
The SEEDS dwellers do not seem to understand that Wolfwood is both trying to help them and a little resentful of what they have. To them, he is everything theyâve been taught to fear and hate, up here poisoning Paradise for them with his unpleasant ideas. Of course this sort of dynamic never happens in real life.
Also, keep in mind that none of them know anything about the people below directly, only from hearsay. Theyâre not wrong about Gunsmoke as a whole, but they treat Wolfwood like a monster rather than a person.  That also never happens in real life.
Then he gets to the scene of a crime too late--but just in time to look like the one responsible. Although the ship dwellers would love to see him dead, he leaps to defend them against his own colleague. Knowing, perhaps, that doing this would confirm he switched sides, and his own days might be numbered. He doesnât even pause to think, he just goes, the same way he did when the child went missing in episode 9.
***
Vash Will Save The Day
âLike you care. Five years is probably like a blink of the eye to you anyway.â Vash denies it, but the second part is probably true. He looks so surprised to hear itâs been five years.
It canât be easy for Vash to admit that he was responsible for the âFifth Moon Incident,â and is probably more dangerous than Knives. Once again, his only argument is âplease.â But thereâs no buffoonery or melodrama here. Heâs dead serious, and thatâs more convincing.Â
Wolfwood tries to stop Leonoff from saying his name. No one who would understand the significance or matters to him is present, just Brad and Jessica. Is he merely afraid others will hear? Does he still consider himself to be Chapel?
Even facing Leonoff, Wolfwood still hasnât put his shades back on.
Now imagine if Vash managed to find ways out of no-win situations and save the day without all the whining and crying.
Wolfwood can pause and wait for once, having faith that Vash will show up. He knows thereâs always a third option for Vash. He does not yet see any for himself. Still, progress nonetheless.
***
Unfortunately for me, Vash is back with his red coat in Vash the Stampede mode, yellow glasses hiding his face.
OK, I can see how Leonoffâs puppets get into the ship without being noticed, but how on Earth did the big guy even get here?
#liveblog#liveblogging#trigun anime#trigun#millie thompson#meryl stryfe#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#seeds ship#legato bluesummers#gung ho guns#leonoff the puppet master#character analysis#meta#brad and jessica#love and peace#ethics#faith
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ckerouac replied to your post
âwhat is your favorite episode from your least favorite season of glee?...â
Ok I love this question, but 1, this is cooper Anderson erasure and 2, I think S8 is way less trash than you do lol
I know - I did think about Cooper - and Big Brother is definitely a highlight, but as whole episodes, I like the other two more :(Â
Okay - letâs break down season 8 and see how bad (or alright) it really is! Iâd love to hear your opinions on it, RB! (Clearly this is my life now)Â
The List - Robert splits the staff in half on some random list that he made. I think itâs a pretty decent episode, which reintroduces the characters pretty well. Plus, we get some great Pam stuff, so Iâm okay with that.Â
The Incentive - Andy has to motivate the office. Another episode which isnât that bad, despite being a plot line already done by Michael Scott. Â
Lotto - The warehouse wins the lotto, and Darryl has to rethink his life choices. Thereâs some good Darryl development in here, and Andy isnât that bad as a manager - but heâs not great, and it does feel like they keep trying to give Andy plots originally for Michael Scott, which doesnât help.Â
Garden Party - This is the first episode that starts to bug me. Andyâs obsessive need to impress Robert as well as his parents is incredibly irritating. However, this episode does get a few points for having a fun Dwight/Jim subplot.Â
Spooked - This one is... interesting? Robert asks everyone about their fears and laces it all together for a bizarre scary story. Itâs strange, but definitely watchable.Â
Doomsday - Dwight creates a doomsday device! I really wish they had gone more with the tension of not screwing things up, but itâs more about getting Dwight to turn it off. Not a bad episode despite not being what I initially thought itâd be. And better on rewatch.Â
Pamâs Replacement - Pamâs pregnant and worried about Jim being interested in her replacement. Shenanigans ensue -- favorite one!Â
Gettysburg - I think this episode is boring more than anything. Andy gets half the group to go to Gettysburg for a motivational trip. Not only is a questionable Michael Scott plotline, they already kind of did this during The Incentive. Thereâs a fun side plot involving Schrute Farms, however itâs not balanced out by the stupid side plot of Robert thinking Kevin is the next big genius.  (Also Pam leaves because Jenna Fischer went on maternity leave, and that might be a reason I think these episodes get worse for a while.)Â
Mrs. California - This episode is where I think the season starts to turn really not good. Robertâs wife comes into the office -- he wants Andy to hire here but not hire her. Itâs so dumb - especially when his wife seems totally normal. The mind games seem stupid, and make Robert seem insane instead of mysteriously clever - which seemed to be what they originally going for. Meanwhile, Dwight has the dumbest side plot about starting a gym -- which makes it clear the writers seemed to be running out of ideas.Â
Christmas Wishes - The Christmas episodes arenât usually that bad, and this one isnât. Thereâs a little too much drunk Erin getting weird about Andy and his girlfriend, but itâs watchable. And thereâs some fun Dwight/Jim stuff going on throughout.Â
Trivia - This is an episode Iâm disappointed isnât more interesting than it sounds. The gang goes to Oscarâs gay bar for trivia night. Itâs another watchable one - but thereâs so much more they could have done with it. Â
Pool Party - This episode is fuckinâ weird. Everyone goes to Robertâs weird house for a pool party and everyone is just... weird during it. Except Jim, who just wants to leave. I donât really like it cause it focuses way too hard on Dwight, Erin, and Robert, and itâs not necessarily weird in a good way since half of them donât feel in character. Â
Jury Duty - This one is, fine, I suppose. Jim tries to make it up to the office for being gone for a week, and Dwight deals with Angela having her baby. Iâm kinda annoyed at this point that the writers no longer take Jim very seriously, and heâs consistently written as a dumbass, and the Angela/Senator thing would be better if it didnât drag on and on and on, but at least this one doesnât focus too much on Robert/Andy/Erin shit.Â
Special Project - This one kicks off the Florida arc, which is...idk, maybe a step up from the rest of the season? This episode is pretty good as it sorts out who is going and who is staying, and Pamâs back!Â
Tallahassee - The first episode actually in Florida. Iâm meh about it. Dwight gets really sick, and thereâs some gross stuff going on there. And we get the intro to Nelly, whom I find frustrating during her tenure in season 8 (sheâs fine in season 9), and Todd Packerâs around again, which always annoys me. The Scranton stuff is fine - as Andy is receptionist for a day.Â
After Hours - This one is mostly fine. I love the plot line where Jim has to keep away from Cathy and uses Dwight to help him out. The rest of it is meh as a lot of it is Nelly and Todd Packer being weird together, Ryan hitting on Erin, and a lot of Darryl and Val drama that isnât as interesting as it could be.Â
Test the Store - The Florida story is pretty good where the store down there opens, and thereâs some interesting things going on. But I hate the subplot about Andy and Pam being bullied by 12yo girls. HATE IT
Last Day in Florida - This one is, idk, another meh-ish one? Jim is trying to stop Dwight getting fired, and while I love the dynamic, maybe not one of their better story lines. Meanwhile Toby and Darryl are selling girl scout cookies, and itâs incredibly boring. Also, Erin decides to stay in Florida to help an elderly woman - and this kicks off the WORST run in the show. Iâd rather watch Scottâs Tots again than the next three episodes...Â
Get the Girl - I HATE THIS EPISODE. Andy goes back to get Erin -- and ends up staying with the elderly woman Erinâs with to woo her back. Itâs so cringy, and both Andy and Erin seem like dumber and more annoying than they usually are. Meanwhile - while Andyâs gone, Nellie just comes and takes over Andyâs job. And as much as I hate Andy and Erin at the moment, I hate that his job is just given to Nellie because she decides to sit in the managerâs office. Itâs so dumb. Every part of this episode is dumb and it probably is the worst episode in the series. Â
Welcome Party - Continuing the terrible plot lines of season 8, now that Andy and Erin are back together - they have to go dumb Andyâs not at all developed girlfriend while sheâs at a family gathering. Itâs so, so terrible and awful. And makes Andy and Erin seem like the worst people. This seems far worse than anything Michael Scott ever did. Meanwhile, Dwight and Jim are forced to throw a party for Nellie - which is at least watchable, but Nellie is still fairly annoying at this point, too. Â
Angry Andy - The Andy and Nellie plot lines come to a head, which you know just by the description isnât going to go well. Andy gets angry and terrible, Nellie is still insufferable, and Robert is no longer making any sense at all. The climax of these stupid episodes is just as bad as the rest of it. The only redeeming factor of this episode is the subplot involving Kelly choosing between Ryan and an actual decent guy, and everyone helping Kelly try to move on from Ryan.Â
Fundraiser - While this episode is at least better than the past three, I find it mostly boring. The office goes to a silent auction - yay(?) No, itâs boring. Andy spends the whole time plotting revenge against Robert for firing him. Dwight seems uncharacteristically stupid about the auction. And Darryl teaches Nellie how to eat a taco (yes that is a plot line) and Angelaâs husband hits on Oscar. Â
Turf War - This episode is probably the first fully good episode since Special Project? Robertâs going crazy, and closing down branches, so Dwight and Jim go against other branches to steal clients. Itâs nice to see Dwight and Jim work together. Pam gets to know Nellie - and Nellieâs at least tolerable in the episode?Â
Free Family Portrait Studio - Considering that most of the season is rough, this one isnât bad, though probably one of the weakest season finales. Dwight schemes to figure out if heâs the father of Angelaâs baby - and weâre left on that cliffhanger. Meanwhile, David Wallace is back as CEO, and gives Andy his job back, and while itâs nice that Robert is leaving (and Sabre is going away), the writing for the show is on the wall. Â
So, looking at this list and thinking about it. The biggest issue is that thereâs so much Andy and so much Erin and so much of their terrible romance that it grows tiresome really fast. Meanwhile, Robert California is a bizarre addition that doesnât quite fit. Nor does Nellie, whom itâs obvious the writers like, but arenât sure how to use her well. Meanwhile, Dwight, Jim, and Pam donât feel very present nor do any of them have many memorable plot lines, and it doesnât help that the writers seem to be stuck in dummy-Jim mode, as well as Pam just not being there for half the season. Â
And... there we go, too much time spent on season 8.Â
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Comics I read this week (8/26 - 8/30)
Hey anyone and... anyone I guess. For all those looking to get into comics or who are already comics readers but donât know which books are good, hereâs an opinion on just that!Â
Give it a read, let me know what you think, light some pitchforks, whatever you like:
Justice League #30
I was conflicted reading this weekâs issue of Justice League: while Iâm really liking the direction that Scott Snyder is taking the story, Iâm really getting sick of Jorge Jimenezâs art on the series.Â
While Jimenez was a breath of fresh air on the âSuperman: Rebirthâ series with his CG texturized drawing and smooth surfaces, his ultra-stylized and cartoony figures are starting to look more plastic and stretchy as this series goes on. Heâs got a bad habit of smoothing over his characterâs proportions, which make these heroes that are supposed to be cut and strong look flat and almost doughy. Itâs starting to grind on me more as each new issue comes out, and maybe itâs time for an artistic switch-up on this title.
In terms of the story though, this was a good set-up issue for the Justice/Doom war that Snyder and co. have been building up to on this run. Weâve got all the pieces in place: a gathering of forces by both sides; a romp through time which sees the League meeting with both Kamandi and the classic JSA; and everything going awry right from the get-go!Â
The only thing Iâm slightly concerned about storywise is that Catwoman was in the Doom lineup, and with the rekindling of Bat-Cat in the latest Batman issues, Iâm hoping this isnât a portend for another breakup in Kingâs run. My heart couldnât take another.
Superman #14
Let me be clear on one thing before I start in: Iâm a fan of Brian Michael Bendis. His work on âUltimate Spider-Man,â âDaredevil,â and âAliasâ are some of my favorite comics, and his more recent work with âNaomi,â and âEvent Leviathanâ has been really good. With all that being said... man, this Superman comic has sucked hard since he took over.
Letâs just start at the story:Â
Itâs felt like Bendis has been really looking forward to getting started on his upcoming run with the new âLegion of Superheros,â which is something to potentially get excited about for the near future. Whatâs not exciting at all is the realization that this whole Rogol Zar arc has been a poorly thought out lead-in to the Legionâs return. SPOILER WARNING FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO READ THIS GARBAGE FIRE: the Legion show up at the end of the issue to invite Jon to join, as a commemoration of the day the United Planets was formed. This is fine, and could be an exciting new direction for Jon that harkens back to the classic comics. BUT did we really have to suffer through weeks of nonsensical story just to get this?Â
Just to recap this arc: Rogol Zar appears out of nowhere, looking like Lobo, Doomsday and a garbage disposal with a bland imagination all had an orgy and he was the deformed kid that came out of it. This beefed-up piece of blandness comes out of the sky to fuck up Superman cause he heard there were some Kryptonians still alive in the Universe and apparently heâs a space-racist.Â
Superman struggles against this remnant from the 90s while the worlds shittiest not-dead Grandpa, Jor El, is off in space traumatizing Jon and stressing him out so much he ages up to a teenager.Â
But itâs ok guys! Jor El knows who Rogol Zar is, they have a connection of sorts! And Rogol Zar caused the destruction of Krypton! But now heâs allied with Jax Ur, and also now Zod maybe? And the Thanagarians are involved? So are the Guardians? Wait, now Rogol Zar is also effected by Kryptonite because heâs a Kryptonian? And now heâs just captured like that, but Thanagarâs under attack, oh wait just kidding itâs not?Â
Those last 2 plot points literally happened in 3 pages this issue, right after each other. So this story is confusing and non-sensical and ultimately doesnât mean anything, because the whole point turned out to be that Bendis needed something, some plot device to make it so Superman could say âwe canât have secrets like this tearing apart worlds like Krypton, we need a United Planets.â
None of this crap story is helped by Ivan Reisâ art, which I know some people love, but to me it looks like everything bad with the 90s except with better backgrounds and textures. But even if I didnât hate his art, his page and panel composition is often confusing, especially during fight sequences, which doesnât help when the story is confusing to begin with.
After reading this weekâs issue, I want nothing more than to die in the garbage fire Bendis has lit and take this whole comic with me.Â
The Terrifics #19
Shouts out to DC for finally figuring out how to write a Fantastic 4 comic, maybe they can show Dan Slott how itâs done. But seriously, âThe Terrificsâ has been the exact kind of science-adventure story that needs to be around in comics, as the landscape needs itâs fare share of science-criminals and heroes to balance things out.
First thing to note for this week, the art is great. Max Raynor (first time Iâve seen their work) has a great kind of cartoony playfulness to his characters and line-work, while at the same time keeping the models tight and well detailed.Â
Iâm glad that the writers of the story realized that the Terrifics function best when theyâre dealing with light-hearted cross-dimensional adventures, and this new one seems like itâll be great from the start. In keeping with the âYear of the Villain,â Lex Luthor has made an offer to Bizarro (the one for the HTREA, not the one from the Outlaws), giving him a time-machine device to reek some havoc with.Â
I donât want to spoil the issue too much, as if you havenât read the Terrifics you really should give it a go, but letâs just say that it involves Bizarro at one point destroying Algebra, and a Bizarro Terrifics team known as âThe Terriblesâ breaking through to the main DC dimension to challenge their Terrific rivals.
If youâre looking for something fun, cheesy, but heartwarming and action packed, definitely give the Terrifics a try.
The Flash #77
Look, Iâm still not digging this whole âForce War,â or âWar of the Forces,â or whatever the Flash team is trying to build up with these new force users. It felt like the DC Creative team was trying to retcon Flash to be more mythical with âFlash: Year One,â pitting the Flash against the Turtle and creating this whole mythology around the Forces of the Universe to make it seem like this clash was inevitable.Â
But what this has done for me is just make the Flash feel smaller and less special. These forces and the grander narrative behind them have just diminished the Speed force, which was still shrouded in some mystery after all these years in the DC Universe, to just one force, just A force.Â
There are two silver linings from this weekâs issue, one more bittersweet than the other. First off, the art has gotten ten times better than itâs been in weeks. Rafa Sandovalâs pencils are crisp and clean, and though his action feels static sometimes, heâs miles better than what weâve been seeing for a few months now.
Second, though this Force War already feels like a dud, a cool concept was introduced in a throwaway line. Flash fans, feel free to crucify me, but with the Black Flashâs appearance this week, Commander Cold talked about how he was acting like an anti-body for the Speed Force in trying to eliminate these new force users. If thatâs true, it makes the Speed Force almost like a living creature that feelâs like it is under attack. But this also makes me think that, wouldnât it have been cooler if you had the same motivation for the appearance of the Black Flash, but instead of the Force users, it was Speedsters it was targeting?Â
What if all of the new Speedsters were putting a strain on the Speed Force, hurting it in some way that awoke the Black Flash? Itâd still give Barry a reason to reconcile with Wallace and Avery, but would also replace this Force War with a Speed War? Spitballing here, but that sounds cooler to me.
Ice Cream Man #14
And now we break up the superheroes for something a little more horrific. For anyone who doesnât know what âIce Cream Manâ is, the best way I can categorize it is a horror anthology series.Â
The story, setting and characters change from week-to-week, except for one presence: the Ice Cream Man. Even when heâs not in whatever nightmare is being doled out that week, his fingers can be felt all over the story, and they dig into the fears you try to hide and pry them open.
The theme of this weekâs story was communication, and maaaaaaaaan does this comic have a way of making you feel depressed and scared all at the same time.Â
The two main characters are a husband and wife, the former who is deeply dissatisfied and finds escape in crosswords, the latter who is so starved for communication and intimacy that she makes problems out of nothing just to have something to talk with her husband about.Â
I donât want to spoil too much, as I think everyone should be reading this book, but things take a turn for the hellish when the husband goes out to buy more crosswords and finds himself trapped in one, while his wife finds out that her delusions may have been true, and worse than she thought.Â
For long-time readers, the biggest thing from to take away from this issue is that perhaps the Ice Cream Manâs influence is spilling out into the world more and more, and things will only get worse from here.Â
Spider-Man: Life Story #6
For any fans of Spider-Man, go out and buy this book. Doesnât matter if youâre a new fan or a hardcore fan, this is a story for anyone who has any love for Spider-Man in any shape. This story isnât perfect all the way through, but man is it an incredible ride.
For anyone who hasnât heard of this comic, writer Chip Zdarsky took the gargantuan task of creating one long-form story out of the entire continuity of Spider-Man, from the 1962 till 2019, and showing how this life that weâve seen Spider-Man live would actually play out in real-time.Â
This comic took some of the best and worst arcs, from âKravenâs Last Hunt,â the birth of Venom and âThe Superior Spider-Man,â to âThe Clone Sagaâ and the Inheritors (god those pseudo vampires were dumb), and not only makes them work within this different world that Zdarsky has made, but makes them work as a part of the larger narrative.Â
While itâs not perfect all the way through, seeing the characters we know and love, especially Peter and MJ, live their lives with wrinkles and all feels like something special, and I encourage anyone who is curious to go out and cop this 6 issue series and join the ride.
Runaways #24
For all manga fans out there, Iâm a huge fan of the âslice-of-lifeâ genre. For any non-manga fans, slice-of-life stories are ones that celebrate the everyday little moments that make up most of our lives. Riding bikes with friends, going to the movies, starting a new hobby, or even just going to the store and deciding what to get for dinner, these are all the kind of topics that a slice-of-life narrative covers. With her run on âRunaways,â Rainbow Rowell has essentially made a superhero slice-of-life comic, and Iâm really liking every moment of it.Â
This weekâs issue focuses almost entirely on Karolina and Nico spending a night out âsuperheroing.â Except it becomes apparent pretty early on that neither really knows what theyâre doing, and whatever little problems they run into (fender bender on the 405, potentially lost children, etc.) are better left to themselves, as they either wouldnât be able to help or would actually get in the way. Itâs weird to say that watching superheroes be ineffective is really entertaining, but thatâs exactly what Iâm saying, and I think that is in large part to the good character writing that Rowell has done on her run, and the warm art of this series that helps you feel safe and cozy.
My favorite part of the issue is when Karolina and Nico stop for a bite to eat, and Karolina feels like she has to apologize for wasting Nicoâs time. Nico just laughs it off and tells her that she was just looking to spend time with her partner, so in her eyes tonightâs mission was a success. Itâs cute, it fits with the characters and how weâve seen them grow over the run, and I like it a lot.Â
Thatâs not to say there isnât any action in this issue. By the time the story is done thereâs a super-powered dance fight and a mysterious new superhero debuting on the scene. Iâm excited to see where both of those threads go heading into the next issue.
Justice League Dark #14
Since the Rebirth of this team this has been one of the comics that I look forward to the most each new issue, and this is quickly becoming one of my favorite iterations of the team. While Batmanâs gothic-detective aesthetic fit well with the team, he always felt too based in technology and the modern world to really embrace magic. On the other hand, Wonder Woman is a walking myth, a demi-god on earth, someone who is made of magic. Her role as the leader of this team alongside heavy hitters like Zatanna and Swamp Thing, along with smaller characters like Detective Chimp and Man-Bat, has felt natural and authentic.
Another great part of having Diana on the team rather than Batman is that her personality stands out. Whereas Batman and most of the magical characters in DC are generally tragic, Wonder Woman is a symbol of hope and optimism, someone who fights to see the best in people and bring that best version out of them. This works especially well with her band of misfits, who despite having much more experience than Wonder Woman in the world of magic, have far less experience in being part of a team, let alone in being âsuperheroesâ in the traditional sense of the word.Â
As for this issue, itâs a set-up chapter that ticks all the right boxes. Weâve essentially got the âDarkâ Justice League Dark coming together, led by a newly powered up Circe, who are raring up to wage a Witching War against their good counterparts. While their final players are coming into the fold, the villains have already managed to plant a couple of seeds of doubt into the team which will certainly bloom into dissension. Canât wait to see where this goes next.
Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11
Tom Taylor gets Spider-Man.Â
Itâs a simple statement, but as weâve seen over all of the years with Spidey, not a whole lot of writers have really understood what makes Spider-Man so spectacular, amazing, superior, etc. Itâs a testament to how well Tom Taylor is writing Spider-Man in this series that heâs telling small scale stories without a whole lot of action, death-defying adventure or real conflict, and yet this is some of the best Spider-Man Iâve read in years.Â
The opening pages set the tone for the story right away, with one of the simpler but most honest statements Iâve seen in a Spider-Man book:
âSee, Captain America is Captain America. Thor is Thor. But Spider-Man...
Spider-Man is Peter Parker...
And Peter Parker is my responsibility.â
Thatâs the thesis statement for this story, detailing a day in the life of Mary-Jane Watson, the often under appreciated girlfriend of our titular web-head.Â
The story from then on is pretty much in her hands, with occasional monologuing from a sleeping Peter, as Mary-Jane goes about what we can only assume is a pretty typical day in the life of the girlfriend of one of NYCâs premier heroes.
Small scale stories are essential in superhero comics in order to break up long events and arcs. Theyâre breathing room, time for the readers to catch their breath and assess the new status quo before things get wild again. But theyâre also often the stories which show us the foundations of who these heroes really are. Itâs been said that power doesnât corrupt, it reveals, and when characters with as much power as Spider-Man arenât up against the wall and forced to make a decision, the decisions they do make show us that much more about the person beneath the mask.Â
Tom Taylor has managed to show us just who Spider-Man and the people in his life really are underneath their masks by lowering the stakes. The stories are small and simple, the consequences often equally so, but whatâs been created is true to the characters more than almost any stories Iâve seen before, and itâs lovely. This is one of the best books being written right now, and if youâre not reading it yet, you need to go out and fix that right now.
Detective Comics #1010
It feels like there isnât much to say about this weekâs issue. Weâve still got the stranded billionares on the island, who are now clearly being held hostage by Deadshot. Meanwhile Bruce is rescued and patched up by two WWII fighter pilots who have been stranded on this island since the war, neither knowing which side won.
Iâm a big fan of Deadshot when he leans into his nihilistic killer persona, and this âThe Most Dangerous Gameâ setup with a tech-deprived Bruce and Deadshot duking it out on an island seems interesting. Tomasi has been generally pretty good with his run on Detective Comics, so Iâm excited to see how long he runs with this arc of Bruce and Deadshot trying to outsmart each other in this deadly game of cat and mouse.
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November 8th-9th // Jupiter Enters Sagittarius// âChristmas in Novemberâ
      I've been meaning to write this article, and an article for the New Moon that just occurred in Scorpio all week. Alas, I am surrounded by Scorpio energy where I reside, and there were 2 birthdays of importance the past couple of days.       I'm off the birthday wagon, and am here to let you know, if you don't already...
Jupiter, the planet of good luck, wisdom, and abundance exited Scorpio on the 8th-9th, and is now headed along a new year long journey home with the fiery archer Sagittarius, where it will reside until December 03, 2019.
Jupiter is such a wonderful force among the stars. Jupiter rules the 9th House in astrology related to all things discovery, philosophy, and spirituality. It touches our religions, our beliefs, and our knowledge. At the heart of it, Jupiter is the great teacher. Jupiter puts our beliefs right along our daily paths, so we may see them, understand them, and evolve in which we hold, and let go of. Jupiter is often referred to as the "great benifec" in astrology, meaning Jupiter wants to do the ultimate good for us! We as mortals however, are left with the final decision, and cannot blame Jupiter if we do not take up these "gifts." Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â The "gifts" of the universe are strange packages, covered in translucent ribbons, wrapped in vibrations. You can sense them as they are placed before you, but are told to wait. In some hearts these gifts cause fear, rather than joy. If you have not been putting in the soul work asked of you until this point you will not be able to touch your gifts, only sense that they are there. There at last may come a moment where time ticks you into gear, but only Jupiter may decide if you are worthy to open the gift. Â Jupiter you see works like a coin. Heads is lucky, and tails the most un-lucky. As other planets transit Jupiter, you may have periods of the worst luck you've ever seen in your life, then the coin flips, and other transits make it hard to believe you could be so lucky.Â
    Many people who expedience this transit come to me after it is all said and done, and ask.."Where is my gift?" "Where is all the luck you said would come to me!? Things are worse than before!" "Where's all the money you said I'd get?" "Where's that soulmate that was supposed to come my way?" But ah! Have they learned nothing? Ah. Are they blind?         Jupiter is the planet of wisdom for a reason! Jupiter will give you EVERYTHING you ask for! These gifts sit in wait, right under your very nose! Those who do not embrace wisdom, and growth cannot see. Jupiter is not only known for his luck, but expansion. If you were touched by Jupiter per-say with gifts of physical money, yet you spend every dime on new shoes or clothes...then who are you to ask where your fortune lay? It lay exactly where you placed it...into physical luxuries. If you were expecting Jupiter to bring your soulmate into your sphere...yet you were glutenous with the food of this world to the point you lost confidence in yourself...you probably bumped into that "soulmate" along the way...but due to your excess and current weight gain you lacked the confidence to let that stranger turn into your one and only somebody.     These two examples can be some of the ways Jupiter's excess in gift giving, and perhaps in an individuals gift taking can go off the rails from the desired outcome.         Jupiter is the natural ruler of Sagittarius, so this transit over the course of next year will have those affected feeling a sense of "going home." Weather this home is in your heart, a literal place, or a niche you've carved out for yourself in the world, those touched by this transit will know when they feel it that their journey has been made. Jupiter and Sagittarius are both known for their sense of adventure, and what a journey the next few years will be! Uranus is set to kick it into high gear in Taurus next year. All of these changes will effect everyone in different ways, and the best way to know how this will effect you is by examining your personal natal chart. Look to the house where Sagittarius lay, where your natal Jupiter is stationed, and then to your 9th House for clues on what Jupiter will touch over the next year.       As a general here is my personal interpenetration on what each Sun Sign can expect until December 2nd of 2019 in the area of Jupiter:
Aries - 9th House - The Gift : Spirituality
    Jupiter has spent the last year stationed in your 8th House of death, re-birth, sex, and other people's money. In the Western world, many people view death as a negative. People do not talk about it openly, and it is considered disrespectful if you do. The thing about all of the topics is that they are methods of transformation. Transformation as in turning one thing into a whole new thing, like alchemy. The last year, you may feel as though you yourself have died, and been re-born, completely transformed from the person you were before. If you examine even the not so lucky things that have happened to you in this area since 2017, you may see a connection between them, and your personal inner growth.       Since 2017, you had more luck than anyone when it came to other people's money. You may have received a loan, an inheritance, or settlement. The flip side to that coin, you may have also felt extremely unlucky at times, as people you loved may have died, you may have "killed" relationships, you may have had to watch someone you love unable to change (re-birth), you yourself may have not been able to change, others may have asked you for large sums of money, and you may have had some debts to pay. You may have had a few lucky sexual experiences, where you were able to touch the soul of another through the act of sex. You could have also experienced the downsides contracting STD's, or experiencing your own fears related to all things sexual. These are the two sides of Jupiter.  Now! Jupiter moves into your 9th House of spirituality, wisdom, and philosophy. How perfect considering where you've come from since 2017!          As you try to make sense of the gifts Jupiter gave you in your 8th House you may feel drawn to religion, spirituality, and ritual. You may feel drawn to churches, spiritual gatherings, and catch yourself muttering a prayer or two. You may feel drawn to go back to school, or get another degree. These places may be where you find the lucky gifts, and knowledge of Jupiter. There is nothing that can stop Aries when they are deadest, and determined. They walk into the fire, guns blazing, without fear of failure. This is how you will approach the lessons of Jupiter in the 9th. Jupiter in your 9th house is going to hit heavy. The 9th House is Jupiter's domain, and it also being stationed in it's home sign of Sagittarius is like a double dose of power. What lessons have you learned since 2017 involving death, re-birth, and other people money? Did you find yourself on the un-lucky side of Jupiter, asking a spiritual organization for financial help, only to be turned away? Did you watch a spiritual organization take part in the burial of a loved one in which they did not do justice to the life that person lived? Did you experience excessive money mooching from all those close to you? OR did you feel the almighty luck of Jupiter when you were down and out? Did you receive more help than you ever thought anyone would give to you? Did it touch your heart when you were hungry and the church fed you? Did it come over you to give money away for no reason often? Were you re-born from an act of kindness, or your will and determination? These experiences which you've held since 2017 will aid you in your journey over the next year, as Jupiter lays another gift before you, begging to be opened.    Perhaps you can take these lessons and implement them in more spiritual ways, and with those who reside in the spiritual institutions across our country.  The events which unfolded while Jupiter was in your 8th House may also have you feeling like running far, far away. Jupiter and Sagittarius are the masters of travel, and they rule all things foreign affairs. If someone you loved passed away during the last Jupiter transit, it could have left a raw spot on your heart, the kind that makes your feet move faster than your head.  You may find yourself traveling more, and farther off than you ever have. When astrology speaks of "foreign travel" that doesn't always mean another country!
The road traveled many times leads you to a foreign land, there sits a man with a cane, and a story...he holds your gift in a tattered old bag...
Taurus - 8th House - The Gift: Death, Re-Birth, and The Money of Others
            Jupiter has spent the last year in your 7th house of Partnerships, and Marriage. You were bestowed with more luck than any other sign in the areas of partnership. Partnership to the universe means the act of fully merging with another being. Being able to let go of your self, and move into unity with the "other". You were given lessons, and your patience may have been tested in how you cooperated with the "others" in your life. "Others" could have been your intimate relationships, your business relationships, people whom you made contracts with, or people who you agreed with. You may have found yourself questioning these relationships, and choosing some over others in favor of greater unity within these relationships.       There is the possibility during transits to Jupiter where you may have seen some of the most un-lucky aspects you ever experienced in areas related to partnerships. You may have seen some of your greatest partners turn into some of your worst enemies, you may have put divorce on the table in your marriage, you may have broken agreements, you may have refused to cooperate, or experienced others refusal to cooperate with you. There may have been times where you felt like you were in a literal war zone in your relationships with others, or our society as a whole. This could have had you more interested in "doomsday", or conspiracy theories.        Now Jupiter enters Sagittarius, and your 8th house of Sex, Death, Re-Birth, and Other People's Money. Just as before, and always, Jupiter has two sides, and the expansion of Jupiter can expand in both directions. If you do the soul work which is asked of you by the universe, and on the upswings of transits to Jupiter, you may experience the most mind blowing sex you've had in some time. You may find that in your sexual relations you are able to finally fully merge with your intimate partner right to their soul! You may finally try out all of those things which you've wanted to in bed, but were too afraid to do before. You may find more ways of experiencing sex which are out of your usual sphere, including ways which are above body, or physical touch!              During the upswings of Jupiter in your 8th House you may find it easier to "let go" of things which may metaphorically/literally "die" in your life. Feeling an overwhelming presence of life after death in your waking reality. With Uranus entering Taurus for good next year, you are on the chopping block to let your most authentic self shock the world around you! You will have to "let go" of the things which are changing around you, so that you may have open arms to embrace the most liberating, and genuinely fated period of the life you've lived thus far. The re-birth you may luckily find yourself in has the power to change your entire life in the most unusual, and shocking ways!           You may find yourself drawn to areas labeled "occult" during this period, and it may be there where you find the gifts Jupiter has left for you! There may be interesting, and shocking happenings related to ghosts, inexpiable moving objects, dreams, gurus, shamans, and magick. You will feel drawn to this now, and will find much knowledge and wisdom about the world there. During these periods you may even see a strange lump sum of money appear in your hands from a family inheritance, loan, gift, or happenstance. It might be a shocking amount! Do not let the expansion of Jupiter allude you into over spending it though! You would be wise to balance this luck now, for when the harsh transits strike.              When the harsher transits hit Jupiter along the next year, you may experience the exact opposite of everything mentioned above. Your sex life may halt to a stop, as feelings of disconnected desires emerge. You may find it harder during these times to connect with your intimate partner sexually, and feel frustrated.             There may be a shocking death happen in your sphere, that will hit you right in the soul. You may find it difficult to move past such an unlucky, and unusual event as this. They will hit out of the blue, like the lightening of Uranus. You may find it extremely difficult to be re-born, or change your habits. It will seem during these harsh transits as if there is no life after death, and there is no life during life. You may find that you are being asked for more than you can give during these times. It may seem as if all that anyone wants from you is finical help, or a hand out. You may see the underbelly of your life, as Scorpio rules the 8th house, and all things which reside in the darkness, or our shadow consciousness.             There is a gift to be retrieved from those dark depths. If you should be so brave to believe in the luck the universe has given you, you may retrieve it. Trust must be formed in order to move about the darkness. It may shock you to find the gift inside of the darkness is your own eternal light. Gemini - 7th House - The Gift: Marriage, and Partnerships             Jupiter has spent the last year stationed in your 6th House of Health and Daily Routines. During this time you were blessed with more luck than any other sign in managing your day to day activities, your habits, and your health. Work falls into this house, and it is ruled by the perfectionist Virgo. Over the last year you may have felt drawn to try to perfect your habits, to form more long term healthier behaviors. You may have been drawn to find the perfect place of employment, and may have had a lucky break or two in the job hunting department. That doesn't mean you were lucky financially, just in the work you were able to do. You may have been lucky with finding the right friend to talk to about your own personal mental health, or found a great therapist. The mental habits which you keep can affect your physical health, and you could have felt drawn to try to re-wire your inner workings so that you could approach life with more enthusiasm, and joy. As Gemini is ruled by Mercury, as well as Virgo being ruled by Mercury, you may have seen some changes in the way you communicated with yourself, or others. Watching your words to form better habits about the way you spoke or what was said. After all, your surroundings, and the people you surround yourself with can have an effect on your health as well.          During the harsher transits to Jupiter, this past year could have had your health, and daily routine completely scrambled. The expansion of Jupiter's force could have had you struggling to get your daily tasks accomplished, and you may have let a lot slip in terms of your health. This could have caused you worse health issues out of negligence, or inability to act. You could have suffered a "mental breakdown", or felt like you had no control over your mentality at times. These forces which seemed out of your control could have cause you to loose, or quit your job, and made it complicated to get back into the work force. Through all of these struggles, the positive up-swings of Jupiter could have had you making waves to put those pieces back together.             Now as Jupiter enters your 7th House of Partnerships and Marriage, the ball is in your court to re-established any lost connections, to merge with other people through friendships/agreements, and to finally not feel alone in this big empty. The kind of connections we make in the 7th House are selfless, and focus more on unity, than separate components. Like a friend who knows you so well, they could finish your sentences. You will receive the luck of Jupiter in all areas where your cooperation in required to form harmony. The 7th House is ruled by Libra, and the planet Venus. There is a balance in a partnership, this is how unity can blossom. During this transit you will receive the most luck when you remove yourself from the situation, and think about the group as a whole, and how you can help to balance it. This will bring you the most favorable outcomes in your day to day life. During this time you may receive a literal marriage proposal, be asked to partner with someone in your business, get a new room mate, form a new agreement with someone/society as a whole, sign a new contract which will be favorable, negotiate favorably, and find yourself feeling united rather than alone.            The harsh transits to Jupiter may have you reverting back to working on your daily habits. There may be times where it seems like you cannot connect with anyone in your day to day life, when you are so lonely it hurts, and when you cannot seem to cooperate with or receive cooperation from those in your life. There will be times during these harsh transits when you will feel as if there is no way you could unit with the person in your midst. You will find it hard to put yourself in their mind set, or understand why in the world they've done what they do. There will be tensions in your partnerships during these harsh transits, and partnerships which may bring you feelings of great harmony may wreck havoc on others in your life, creating enemies.           Â
        Jupiter sent your gift through another, and if you can unite, the ribbons will unloosen on their own, unveiling the greatest gift the 7th House can bring...harmony.Â
Cancer - 6th House - The Gift: Routine, and Health
            Jupiter has spent the last year touring your 5th House of Children, Creation, and Pleasure. During this time you were luckier than any other zodiac in anything connected to those areas. You may have literally had a child, or spent more time with your children if you are a parent. You may have had more luck in bringing out your inner child as well, taking more time to enjoy fun, games, or anything which brought you pleasure. Often it's when we connect with our own inner child that we fully are able to immerse ourselves in the little joys of life. Children do not know the more serious sides of life yet, and allow themselves to be fully immersed in anything that heightens their five senses, or brings them happiness. Because the 5th House is ruled by the Sun, and the sign of Leo, the joys found there relate entirely to the self. You may have found yourself drawn to create more around you, not just artistic creation, but anything which might bring you pleasure. The things which were created may not have always served a practical cause, but may have brought you great personal happiness.             The 5th House where Jupiter spent the last year may have drawn you more into gambling, and risk taking as well. During the last year you may have taken a great risk, or two, gambling the outcome of your happiness. Lucky Jupiter may have given you just the break you needed, and you could have won a literal lump sum of cash. You could have won at anything you took a risk with during the upswings of Jupiter.             During the harsh aspects over the last year however, Jupiter's luck could have taken a swing for the worse, leaving you feeling burnt out, joyless, and like destroying everything around you. You may have spent a large sum of money gambling on conceiving an actual child, only to have been unsuccessful. This could have shown itself in the form of a miscarriage, or even something going horribly wrong with the birth. You could have spent lots of money on creative projects only to have felt blocked and unable to use them. There may have been periods where it felt like the world, or your inner self, was in a constant state of destruction, where nothing had the opportunity to grow, or be born. These creative blocks could have had you feeling like pleasure was out of your grasp more than ever before.              Now as Jupiter moves into your house of Health and Daily routines, you may find that the gift Jupiter has to give this time, is your ability to pour yourself into your work, and make sure that the day-to-day tasks which keep your reality running smoothly are taken care of. If you have found yourself stuck in your daily routine, or unhappy with your residence of work, you may over the next year have the luck needed to find the perfect job for you. If you've been struggling with any form of health concern, it may go away unexpectedly, or you may find the medicine you need to cure it. You may start a new daily regimen which has an incredibly positive effect on your health, You may find that along your usual routine, some lucky unusual factor begins to work through you, helping you to find better habits, faster ways of accomplishing your work, and bringing some much needed order into your daily life. Some people travel all over the world in search for peace. They look, and they hunt, and they try on many hats in the search for a lucky break. Then there are those stories about people who just happened to find a 100 dollar bill on their way to work, or who just so happened to bump into a movie producer that made them famous...all on their usual everyday route! This kind of wacky luck is about to stumble into your life over the next year! It may seem at times as if every station on your way to work is playin' your favorite song!            During the harsh transits to Jupiter during this time you will have to watch out for absolute chaos in your every day routine, and health. When harsh aspects transit Jupiter this time around you may find that you cannot seem to get to work on time, or get all the work designated to you accomplished without strain on your physical health. It may seem during these harsh transits like you can't seem to shake a cold, or a mental rut. A mysterious ailment, or disease could show up during those times, which will need to be looked at by someone in the medical profession, or it could have absolute un-lucky and adverse effects. You may see yourself during these harsh transits to Jupiter working harder than you ever have, yet receiving the same pay, or less pay than before Jupiter entered Sagittarius. Not only will it seem like you're working harder, but the work you do will feel like it is killing your body. If the work itself doesn't feel like it's hurting your body, the out-of-routine drinking, drugs, or other escapism behaviors you participate in to ease the pains of your work could have absolutely un-lucky effects on your health.            Â
       Robert Frost said taking the path less traveled made all the difference...but in Cancer's case this Jupiter cycle, taking the well trodden path is the way to the lucky parcel Jupiter seemed to drop along the way for them. Sometimes we don't need a new scenery...but new eyes to see what's been there all along.Â
Leo - 5th House - The Gift: Children, and Creation
         Jupiter has spent the last year touring Leo's 4th House of Home and Family. The Leo was luckier in these areas than any other sign in the zodiac. The 4th House rules all of the foundations on which we build our lives from the very beginning. While often when you hear the word "home" you think of an actual physical place, we all have a home within ourselves. So this time period may have brought about an actual lucky change in physical address, or the universe helped to support you in finding your internal home.This time period could have had you reminiscing on the "good" old days that you remember in your home growing up as a child, spending more time with your living relatives immediate/distant, and learning more about your family history, with all of it's rich traditions. You may have looked for new ways to enact some age old traditions, and made some new ones of your own. You may have felt like pushing your luck with DNA tests (ancestory.com, 23andme, etc.) During this time you may have felt more drawn to your mother, or whichever parent you were more nurtured by from birth. Thoughts about them, and situations involving them could have brought you lucky breaks.
           During the harsher transits to Jupiter during this time, you may have felt like the most unlucky person in the world regarding your home, and family. You may have been kicked out of your apartment, extremely uncomfortable in your living situation, or felt a strained relationship emerge again within your family unit. Memories from your child hood may have brought old wounds back into the forefront for healing, and you may have felt like the people/person who used to nurture you neglected you more than usual. During these harsher transits to Jupiter it may have seemed only lucky that your home didn't crumble around you in the midst of all the chaos. You may have felt like you couldn't find the home within your heart, that maybe you were even growing colder, and perhaps maybe some old traditions should die.        Now as Jupiter stations into Sagittarius your luck will find it's face in the 5th House of Children, Creativity, and Pleasure! How perfect considering Leo spent the last year pressing their luck in the area of "home"! Leo is the natural ruler of the 5th House! The 5th House is Leo's home. In the 5th house a person can re-inact all of those golden years in their day to day! The Leo over the course of the next year will be luckier than ever in areas involving children. This could mean a literal conception/pregnancy, or this could reveal itself in the form of getting closer to your own inner child. Everyone has an "inner child". This is the part of man which still finds beauty in the butterfly, or that still loves building sandcastles. Those things you work all year to do on vacation, are the lusts of the 5th House.          You could find the lucky gift Jupiter has left you when you can tune into your natural ability to create, and enjoy your creations over the next year. Your lucky gift will reveal itself as you allow yourself to have fun, find your personal pleasure, and push your luck! The 5th house also is connected with gambling, gaming, hobbies, and athletic events. You will be luckier during the upswing cycles of Jupiter than any other zodiac when it comes to games of chance! This is the perfect time to invest in lottery tickets, scratch offs, betting, and card games. You will find that luck will be on your side more than most any other sign (along with Aries) due to the fact Jupiter is stationing into a fire sign, just like yours! You will get an extra dose of luck just for the like minded energy. You will feel the drive to create something very special, and powered by luck during this phase, which could be something related to anything in the artistic fields (drawing, sculpting, painting, dancing, acting etc.) You will be luckier than any other zodiac in your endeavors there, and my find your work is more well received than ever before. People will be drawn to your work, and may not even know why it is so interesting to them, just that it brings them the same pleasure it brought you to create!             During the harsher phases of Jupiter in Sagittarius, you may find that all of this luck turns inward for processing, seeming like you are un-lucky in all of the areas mentioned above. Those who do conceive during this time, born under the sign of Leo OR with a Leo Moon, should take extra care during these harsh transits that they do not miscarry, or experience complications. During the harsh transits to Jupiter over the next year, you may feel like you have more trouble connecting with your inner child, and that the world is for suits&ties rather than your carefree approach. You may feel like "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy". It may during these times feel like you are blocked creatively, and that you cannot seem to "birth" what you are trying to create. Like writers block, it can seem like you have all the words, but they make it to the page, and are complete rubbish. You may spend large amounts of cash on pleasurable pursuits that cause you more trouble than joy. During these times you can invest large amounts of money into creative tools, and supplies which lay to waste. During these harsh transits, your patience, and will shall be tested, making the gift which Jupiter has to give Leo all the more pleasurable once it is finally achieved.
     A child reaches out it's hand with your gift, then runs begging you to chase.
Virgo - 4th House - The Gift: Home
       Jupiter has spent the last year transiting your 3rd House of Communication, analytical intelligence, and Travel. You were luckier than any other sign in the zodiac in these areas. During this past year you may have found yourself traveling to nearby destinations, communicating more with those in your community, and visiting/spending more time with your brothers/sisters. The trips you took, though they may have been places you've seen your whole life, may have suddenly been very lucky for you in your times of need. You may have luckily been at the right place, at the right time for some event. You could have been lucky in communicating with your siblings, or surrounding community in ways you hadn't been before, finding it easier to get your point across. Others could have looked to you as a source of intelligence, and your analytical knowledge could have been an advantage in some tough spots. As the 3rd House rules our communications, during the upswing cycles of Jupiter you may have been lucky in receiving a new phone, laptop, or television. The positives of this transit may have gifted you a new mode of travel, or transportation, like a new car, or bike. You could have been lucky enough to enjoy lots of small talk with many different people, finding it easier to talk about the weather, and the like.
          During the harsher transits to Jupiter the past year could have had you tongue tied, stuck in one place, and un-luckily loosing a mode of communication/transportation without anyway of replacing it. The harsher effects of transits to Jupiter may have saw you arguing more with your siblings/local community. There would have been moments where it seemed like everything you said came out wrong, was misinterpreted, or that you could find no way of communicating. You may have chosen to remain silent in some cases, knowing that it would go that way if you spoke anyways. You may have broken, or lost your phone, laptop, or television, or there may have been more technical glitches in these devices than usual. There may have been a repo on your vehicle, you may have been unable to make a payment on it, or your lack of transportation could have had you feeling low. In feeling low, you might have also felt some form of criticism of your analytical intelligence, receiving signals of mistrust, and skepticism from those whom you tried to inform facts to. Now as Jupiter enters Sagittarius, it will move into your 4th House of Home, and Family. This may feel strange to you at first, given that your Jupiter is moving from the natural "Home" of Virgo, your 3rd House. It may somehow feel as if you are repeating parts of your last Jupiter cycle. While you were given gifts that helped you to feel "at home", in your element during the last Jupiter cycle, there are remaining "gifts" still in wait in that area.Â
         This time around it is about more than your own personal idea of "home". While we all have a "home" in our hearts, there is still the physical aspect, of where we've lain our "roots". Our 4th House "home" connects us with all of our personal ancestral memories, and shows us the growth cycle of the seed that was planted there long ago. During the upswings of Jupiter, you may find yourself getting more interested in learning more about the traditions you family has held, and you may have a lot of luck in researching more into your families history, and bloodline. You may want to get a DNA test done at this time, or you may have themes pop up involving cultures which are ironically related to your own. You will be lucky if you should want to dig into old family photos, or relics, and may uncover something which was hidden from your family, but has great traditional significance.
         You will also be lucky during the positive transits to Jupiter in renovating your literal physical home, or in find the home of your dreams to move into. You would be wise to look into what's out there, no matter how many times you may have house hunted before. Something may present itself which was not there before. The improvements you make during the upswings of Jupiter in Sagittarius will stay in tact for quite sometime, and will have the luck of the universe to withstand even expected deterioration. You will be able during these transits, to not only see the best version of your secure self, but to help yourself emotionally lay a foundation which will not waver even in storms.
         During the harsh transits to Jupiter during this cycle, you will have to watch out for all of the unlucky opposites of the above aforementioned. You may during those transits experience negative influence over your home, and places you thought were steady may crumble. You may find you have to do more repairs than you originally planned, and find a flaw in the foundation of the home that's been there since it was built. You may have unexpected issues pop up in your home in more ways than physically, as the dynamic during these transits may go from secure, to absolute chaos. During these times it may feel as though there isn't anywhere you can call "home", like Dorthy ever searching through Oz. During these harsh transits, you may uncover family history which will shock, disturb, and maybe even disgust you. You may find it hard to accept that you were born from the same seed as they, and find it difficult to learn the truth about your linage. There may be a part of you which refuses to integrate your own truth, until it shakes your foundation. There may be a desire to change everything about the way your "home" has been operating, even with traditions which have been put in place before you were born. However, during the harsh transits to Jupiter, these changes will not be well received, and your family may feel as though they must disown you for disrespecting these age old traditions. You may also at times feel as though the foundations in which you built your relationship with your more nurturing parent, are under great strain. Hold tight during these phases, as the tables will turn again, and luck will once more be to your benefit.Â
   In the closet of ancestors old, lay in wait a gift untold, many generations unfold, as Jupiter reminds you your roots must always grow...  Â
Libra - 3rd House - The Gift: Conversation, Communication, and Connection
         Jupiter has spent the last year traveling through your house of Wealth and Finances. During this past year you were luckier than any other sign in the zodiac in these areas. When you hear about the luck bestowed by Jupiter, often money comes into the conversation. People want to know if Jupiter will be hitting their money houses, however those touched in their 2nd house have much different finical luck than those with Jupiter in the 5th, or 10th. The wealth related to the 2nd house is not money you come into by winning the lottery, or receiving an inheritance, but more so the wealth you generate to yourself through hard work, and active manifestation. You may have felt like during this past year you were paid more than ever before for the work you took part in, receiving maybe more internal wealth than physical wealth for the work you had done.Â
        At times on the upswings of Jupiter you may have been able to see how valuable other things than money could be, weather it were a smile you brought to someone who was down, or how your work helped someone who couldn't help them-self. The wealth you saw during this time may have felt like absolute luck, as you happened to get a job you had wanted, or were able to find employment where you had once struggled. You may have felt more lucky than usual in sorting through what was valuable to you, and what wasn't worth it. During the positive upswings of Jupiter you may have had more luck than usual in curving your spending habits, and implementing an actual budget. You may have also been luckier than any other sign in keeping up with/finding your lost possessions.
          However during the harsh transits to Jupiter since 2017, there may have been times where you felt like the most unlucky person in the world with finances. You may have had something come up which cleared out a large portion of your bank account, or you may have spent more than you meant to, leaving you high and dry. There could have been moments where you put in more work than you ever saw payout, and it seemed like everything you did for the people in your life was taken for granted. There may have been moments during the harsh transits to Jupiter where you couldn't find anything inside of yourself which you deemed valuable, and moments when what seemed valuable to you in the past was actually sucking you dry. These phases could have had you towing the line of poverty, while having you ask for more than you were willing to work for. The riches of this world during those phases seemed in the end fools gold.            Now as Jupiter glides into Sagittarius, and your 3rd House of Home, you will being to see more luck in this area, as we move away from your feelings of value, and worth. The gifts Jupiter left you with last cycle may now see you more able to discern what is valuable, or expendable, as you make your path ahead, traveling, and communicating these ideas and more with those around you. Over the next year, someone in your immediate circle, as in a neighbor, community member, cousin, sister, or brother could prove to be very lucky for you! It is recommended that during the positive transits to Jupiter in your 3rd House, you should take every opportunity to make small talk with those around you. Some small detail that comes up in everyday conversation could have major advantages for you. You may during this time grow closer with your sibling, or someone similar to a sibling in the coming year. You will feel drawn to travel often, even if it is just a short distance, and you will want to communicate the things on your mind with those around you as much as possible.Â
       During the positive transits to Jupiter, you could receive a new way of communicating in the form of a new phone, television, or computer. You may even be so lucky to upgrade your mode of transportation, and perhaps may purchase a new vehicle!
         During the harsher transits to Jupiter in your 3rd House, you may find that you are unlucky in all of the areas mentioned above. During transits such as this, your bad luck will befall you in the form of a communication breakdown, a technical glitch, or blockages on your travels. You may find that you are unable to get your point across during this time, and will have trouble conveying your ideas without stepping on the toes of those your speaking with. During harsher transits you may be so unlucky to have a malfunction with your vehicle, or mode of transportation. You may find that you loose your cellphone, it gets broken, or your computer completely craps out on you. These periods will be testing your words, and your actions, as if it were really worth saying, you'd say it regardless, and no matter the cost. If you were meant to get there, you'll find a way, in irony making a new mode of transportation.
Oh the places you'll go, oh the place you've been, but places near and far could never compare...to a good conversation with an old friend. Â
Scorpio - 2nd House - The Gift: Wealth, and Finances
         Jupiter has spent the last year, hoisted up in your 1st house of Self, the Soul, and the Ego. Scorpio has hosted Jupiter in their 1st house since October 10th, 2017. During this period, the Scorpio was crowned the celestial favorite, and had leeway over every house, and every zodiac sign. Luck was granted in every area, and the self was put into the spotlight for a total soul transformation. Jupiter only visits our 1st house, once every 12 years. The gifts that Jupiter can bring while in one's 1st house are enviable, and everyone wishes they could have that kind of special treatment from the universe always. During the year long stay you had with Jupiter, you may have had a lot of luck particularly with finding out who you really are. You could have hapenstancely ended up in places that really spoke to the inner parts of your soul, and awakened parts of you that you may have been hiding for some time. You were put on stage during this time, to really show the world through your astrological mask what you are. You would have had luck in all areas related to your physical appearance. No matter what you showed to the world, you had the luck of Jupiter for it to be more well reviewed than usual. Your ego was unlocked, and unleashed to be integrated into the other parts of you. Something very personal to you could have been achieved with luck. Something you wanted very desperately.
          During the positive transits to Jupiter in your 1st house, you had a window of opportunity to come across your "soul mate". The one you read about in books, or see in movies. This could have happened by a lucky happenstance, or you could have actively been pursing it to a fruitful end. A relationship begun during Jupiter's stay in one's first house has the likelihood of lasting a very long time (given it was not begun under harsh Transits to Jupiter or under Retrograde). Those who were committed may have grown even closer to their "one and only", showing  them soul mate qualities they had not noticed before in their partner.  While the 7th House rules Marriages/Partnerships, the kind of love that comes about with Jupiter in one's first house is above a marriage, or partnership. It happens in unity from the beginning, and harmony doesn't have to be achieved because it was born so. Perhaps if you were already commuted you hadn't received that kind of love yet from your partner, as there is a large difference in a partner, and a soul mate.Â
            However as Jupiter's beams rained down on Scorpio over the last year, you may have finally been able to distinguish the two, and really connected with the one you love. They could have been there for you the way you needed, made your heart reach new heights, really made you feel understood, and un-alone. You may have had to rub your eyes twice to make sure it wasn't all just a dream. If you are a single Sun Sign Scorpio, and you either do not believe in love, or have yet to find your "soul mate", don't fret. Uranus is in way to shake up your house of relationships over the next 7 years! You will find that relationships are on your mind more than usual, and during this phase will have an opportunity to figure out what it really is that you desire! You may have many interactions of the heart during this time, all leading you to a better understanding of who you are, and what you need in union.
          As the first house plays such a large part in what we look like on the inside, it also plays a rather large role in the way we present that inside, to the outer world. During Jupiter's stay in your 1st House, you may have felt lucky in all areas related to physical appearance. You could have lost a large amount of weight, gotten a new hair style, or a change of wardrobe. While some may say such changes lay in the realm of superficiality, these kinds of changes can have a massive effect on the inner workings of an individual in the most lucky ways! When you look good, you feel good, right?
           However as Jupiter was Retrograde March 8th, 2018 until July 10, 2018, along with a nice little Venus Retrograde smack dab in Scorpio, October 5 to November 16, 2018, and Mercury right in line retrograding on July 26 â August 18, 2018... the harsher transits and squares on top of that, may have had many Scorpio's experiencing an absolute identity crisis. During these times it could have felt like you were the most un-lucky individual in all of the areas mentioned above. At times it could have felt like you were experiencing symptoms of schizophrenia, unable to discern where the "real you" existed among the many faces you've worn. At times it may have felt like your self confidence was at an all time low. There could have been bouts of weight gain, or a yo-yo effect on your weight. Jupiter is the planet of expansion, and expands all it touches. It is common that during harsher transits to Jupiter, that included your waistline.         Rather than integrating the ego, and the shadow sides, they could have grown out of proportion, engulfing all of the work you may have put into integration, and throwing you back to square one. During these harsh phases you may have found it incredibly difficult to figure out what your soul truly desired. Desires may have blown out of proportion, asking you to wear your shadow side like a badge of courage to take everything you wanted, rather than manifesting your hearts truest desire.            Rather than finding your soul mate during this time, you could have found more harm than help in the heart. Someone may have made you believe they were that fated soul mate, only to pull back before the last second, leaving you high, and dry. You could have been the one to leave your "soul mate" high, and dry just the same, as Uranus will be sending shock waves over the next 7 years in your house of relationships. There could have been so many suitors (due to Jupiter's expansion) that you were confused about which, if any, could be the one. If you were already in a committed relationship, the good times were good, but the bad times...were terrible. There may have been a lot of deception between your partner, and you at this time. At the core you may have been just as confused as they were when your path suddenly changed, or you had an outburst.            Now Jupiter glides into Sagittarius, and your 2nd house of Wealth, and Finances. Not only will you be luckier than any other sign in this area, but you will be taught new lessons in the areas of wealth, finances, expenses, charity, asking for finical help, material stability, resources, pleasure from oneâs profession, money, where you keep your money, liberty, freedom, productivity, values, self-worth, and your feelings about these matters. The second house asks questions like, "What is mine?" and "What do I value?"             When you hear about the luck bestowed by Jupiter, often money comes into the conversation. People want to know if Jupiter will be hitting their money houses, however those touched in their 2nd house have much different finical luck than those with Jupiter in the 5th, or 10th. The wealth related to the 2nd house is not money you come into by winning the lottery, or receiving an inheritance, but more so the wealth you generate to yourself through hard work, and active manifestation. You may find luck over the next year being paid more than ever before for your work, receiving maybe more internal wealth than physical wealth for the work you do. At times on the upswings of Jupiter you may be able to see how valuable things other than money can be, weather it is a smile you bring to someone who is down, or how your work can help someone who cannot help them-self.  Wealth can be measured in many different ways, and it's the little things in life.               During the positive transits to Jupiter in the 2nd house, you may luck into a new, more pleasurable job. If you've been looking for work you will be luckier than almost any other sign at finding a job which will generate a great deal of wealth for you. This job could even involve handling money regularly. If you work from home, or are looking to begin an at-home business, you will find that you will have all of the resources needed to begin, and expand your work. If you have been struggling with finances, this may be the lucky time to ask the bank, a family member, the church, a friend, or anyone whom you consider a pillar of financial stability for a loan. You may also feel the impulse to give a loan to someone you know who is in financial turmoil. It would be lucky for you to ask if you need to, or give if your asked to, as the principal goes being open to help other people, the blessing will return towards you even stronger, or you get what you give.               You will be lucky in paying all of your bills, and debts, which may liberate you from the chains they held on you in the past. As all of this happens you may have this feeling of financial stability, or security, some of you for the first time in your life. It will feel like freedom. Freedom from worry, strife, and hunger. You will feel like the luckiest person in the world not to have to worry about your finances so much anymore. You may find that as you are able to see more of the wealth around you, you begin to develop more SELF-WORTH as well!         During the harsher transits to Jupiter in Scorpio's 2nd House, you may feel like the most un-lucky person in the world regarding your wealth, and finances. During these phases it can feel as if you can't catch a break, like you're working more than you're being paid, or that there is no work for you to do. You may have trouble during these times finding your footing, and bills may go overdue. There may be periods during these transits where you will loathe your job, you will dread your work, and you may avoid it at all costs. You may have trouble seeing the value of anything, or even in yourself. You may quit, or loose your job unexpectedly.            As Jupiter is the planet of expansion, you may see more money come into your reality than before, but leave just as quickly. You may over spend, and over indulge in anything which brings to pleasure as a substitute for self-worth. This may have your credit cards maxed out, and your hand held out, as it will seem like you need more than you can provide. There may be doors shut in your face when you ask, if it is during the harsher transits to Jupiter. You may find the people in your life asking you for more hand outs, and you will either not be able to oblige, or you will feel taken advantage of.  What do you value and why? Jupiter's gift for you over this next year will evolve as you begin to find the wealth which is all around you, and deep within you, not just silver, and gold. "Silver and gold might buy you a home But things of this world They won't last you long And time has a way of turning us old And time can't be bought back with silver and gold "
Sagittarius - 1st House - The Gift: The Soul, and the Soul Mate
           Jupiter has spent the last year in your 12th house of the unconscious, self undoing, and imprisonment. During this last year you were luckier than any other sign in these areas. During this last year you were given all of the luck, and lessons for going deep within the psyche and re-wiring your thoughts. The 12th House rules our sacrifices, and our own personal Hell. This was a time period to prepare for the entry of Jupiter into your 1st House. Your luck may have shown itself over the last year when you took the initiative to sacrifice aspects of your life which were only harming you. If you had the courage to let go, you will receive twice what you have let go of, and it will begin to fully resonate with you as Jupiter has moved into your 1st House. During the positive aspects to Jupiter over the last year, you may have luckily uncovered a hidden secret. This hidden secret could have been a literal piece of truth that was hidden from you, or a secret strength, courage, or talent you didn't know you had. If you have experienced a lot of stress, and mental turmoil over this past year, it may have felt lucky that you made it through, and were strong in the face of all of your weakness, and doubts. When you find that kind of inner strength, it can be life altering. From that point forward what used to scare you silly, seems like a cake walk.           If you have struggled with mental disease, it may have seemed only lucky that you didn't end up institutionalized or hospitalized during this past year. When you avoided some of these situations by luck, it may have given you more time to sort through your mental workings on your own, and heal. You may have had a lucky encounter or two with all things related to spirituality. Weather you luckily bumped into a spiritual figure, watched God at work, or just had some strange spiritual yearnings come over you, your unconscious mind for the past year has been screaming for awakenings.              Over the past year you may have received luck in helping heal others in your life. During this time you felt drawn to offer your services to another, weather solo, or group. You felt that luck was on your side, and that with your help they could be healed. At times your compassion may have swelled beyond your comprehension, as in why should you care for this, but you did. As the 12th house also rules all of our hidden enemies, no matter who may have made a plan to harm you, during the positive transits to Jupiter, you had the protection of the universe on your side. You may have experienced more paranormal events than usual, at times luckily catching a glimpse of something beyond our conscious view. At times it could seem as if there was a guardian angel with you, watching over you. There may have been out of this world religious awakenings, as your spiritual nature expanded.            However over the past year when there were harsher transits to Jupiter in your 12th house, you may have felt like you were literally living in your own personal hell. The funny thing is that we are often our own worst enemy, and we hide this from ourselves deep within our unconscious. Your self undoings could have had you feeling like the most unlucky person in the world in regards to your own mental state. Everyone's version of Hell is different, but common themes involve:Â
Restriction- Feeling like what you need/want is being kept from you on purpose
Bondage- Feeling trapped, and bound to the things which harm you
Self-Harm - Letting things harm you, knowing they intend to, or harming yourself (physically/mentally) with negative thoughts/talking down to yourself
Negative Entities- Actual occult phenomena of beings/ghosts which you don't understand, and which mean to harm/confuse you
Insanity/Madness- Events, actions, and phenomena which mean to confuse your mental state on purpose. These things have no rhyme, or reason, other than to confuse and weaken your state of being.Â
            During the harsh transits, Jupiter's expansion could have had you telling more lies than you ever have in your life. These lies may have pushed anything which was up for review, farther back into the unconscious mind. You could have been keeping a lot of secrets, which threatened to fly out during these phases. Though regardless, continuing to pile up more secrets, and skeletons in your closet. You could have found yourself becoming someone else's hidden enemy.           There could have been moments where you felt repulsed, or disgusted with all matters related to spirituality, and spiritual figures. You may have felt blocked from receiving the spirit, no matter how prevalent it made itself in your waking reality. During these phases Jupiter's expansion could have had your illusions growing into delusions, and taking over not only your unconscious, but your waking reality. Your weakness, doubt, and fears may have been all around you, and you may have felt bound to them, or imprisoned by them. Some of you who struggle with mental illness may have found yourselves hospitalized, or institutionalized, or other wise imprisoned. The 12th House rules all places where one might feel bound, and it may have felt at times like in prison, or out of prison...there would be no escaping the bondage. The 12th house rules our hidden enemies, and you could have been surrounded by them, but unable to discern them.             Now as you have walked through your own personal Hell, you may begin to rise again, with Jupiter's entrance into your 1st House.  This is your lucky year to shine, be seen, and find out your heart's truest desires. During this period, the Sagittarius is crowned the celestial favorite, and will have leeway over every house, and every zodiac sign. Luck will be granted in every area, and the self will be put into the spotlight for a total soul transformation. Jupiter only visits our 1st house, once every 12 years. The gifts that Jupiter can bring while in one's 1st house are enviable, and everyone wishes they could have that kind of special treatment from the universe always. During this upcoming year long stay you will have with Jupiter, you may have a lot of luck particularly with finding out who you really are. You could hapenstancely end up in places that really speak to the inner parts of your soul, and awaken parts of you that you may have seen a glimpse of while Jupiter was in your 12th House. Jupiter in the 1st is like you're put on stage, to really show the world through your astrological mask what you are.Â
       You may have luck in all areas related to your physical appearance. No matter how you present yourself to the world, you will have the luck of Jupiter for it to be more well reviewed than usual. Your ego may be unlocked, and unleashed to be integrated into the other parts of you. Something very personal to you could have the luck it needs to be achieved. Something you want very desperately. Now is the time to figure out, or start to ponder what that is. It will be something very dear, and near to your heart. Â
             During the positive transits to Jupiter in your 1st house, you will have a window of opportunity to come across your "soul mate". The one you read about in books, or see in movies. This could unfold by a lucky happenstance, or you could be actively pursing it to a fruitful end. A relationship begun during Jupiter's stay in one's first house has the likelihood of lasting a very long time (given it was not begun under harsh transits to Jupiter or under Retrograde). Now is the time to put yourself out there if you are a single Sagittarius! Join those dating websites, go to that party, and don't settle. Those who are already committed may have grow even closer to their "one and only", showing  them soul mate qualities they had not noticed before in their partner.  While the 7th House rules Marriages/Partnerships, the kind of love that comes about with Jupiter in one's first house is above a marriage, or partnership. It happens in unity from the beginning, and harmony doesn't have to be achieved because it was born so.Â
         Perhaps if you are already committed you haven't received this kind of love yet from your partner, as there is a large difference in a partner, and a soul mate. However as Jupiter's beams rain down on your 1st house, you may finally be able to distinguish the two, and really connect with the one you love. They may be there for you the way you've needed, make your heart reach new heights, really make you feel understood, and un-alone. You may have to rub your eyes twice to make sure it wasn't all just a dream.  You will find that relationships are on your mind more than usual, and during this phase will have an opportunity to figure out what it really is that you desire! You may have many interactions of the heart during this time, all leading you to a better understanding of who you are, and what you need in union.
                As the first house plays such a large part in what we look like on the inside, it also plays a rather large role in the way we present that inside, to the outer world. During Jupiter's stay in your 1st House, you may feel lucky in all areas related to physical appearance. You could loose a large amount of weight, get a new hair style, or a change of wardrobe. While some may say such changes lay in the realm of superficiality, these kinds of changes can have a massive effect on the inner workings of an individual in the most lucky ways! When you look good, you feel good, right?           However as harsher transits interact with Jupiter you may experience an absolute identity crisis. During these times it could have feel like you are the most un-lucky individual in all of the areas mentioned above. At times it could feel like you were experiencing symptoms of schizophrenia, unable to discern where the "real you" exists among the many faces you wear. At times it may feel like your self confidence is at an all time low. There could be bouts of weight gain, or a yo-yo effect on your weight. Jupiter is the planet of expansion, and expands all it touches. It is common that during harsher transits to Jupiter, that expansion can include your waistline.            Rather than integrating the ego, and the shadow sides, they could grow out of proportion, engulfing all of the work you may have put into integration, and throwing you back to square one. During these harsh phases you may find it incredibly difficult to figure out what your soul truly desires. Desires may have blow out of proportion, asking you to wear your shadow side like a badge of courage to take everything you want at the time, rather than manifesting your hearts truest desire.            Rather than finding your soul mate during this time, you could find more harm than help in the heart. Someone may make you believe they are that fated soul mate, only to pull back before the last second, leaving you high, and dry. You could also be the one to leave your "soul mate" high, and dry just the same, as Uranus will be sending shock waves over the next 7 years in your 6th house of health, and daily routines. There be so many suitors (due to Jupiter's expansion) that you become confused about which, if any, could be the one. If you are already in a committed relationship, the good times can be grand, but the bad times...may be terrible. There may have be a lot of deception between your partner, and you at this time. At the core you may be just as confused as they are when your path suddenly changes, or you have an outburst.            Â
The gift Jupiter has to give this cycle can be retrieved when you are able to look into the mirror, and actually see yourself. When you can discern your truest self, out of the illusions of Ego, therein lay one of the greatest treasures of all.
In a house of mirrors lay 12 packages, all the same, with different contents...with luck they begin to open them, and throw to wayside those which do not belong to them. Â
Capricorn - 12th House - The Gift: Hidden things, and Secrets
             Jupiter has spent the last year in your 11th House of Friends, Groups, The Collective Organizations, and Networking. You were given luck, and leeway in all areas connected to the 11th House above all other zodiac signs. It was here that your lucky breaks made their way to you over the last year. In the 11th House, you are able to find your niche within a group. This time period had you feeling lucky when you were working in numbers. Your friends, work colleges, and business associates may have helped you greatly in reaching your goals. They may have shown up when you needed help, or you may have been there for them when they were in distress. You may have been lucky to have been invited to more than one social gathering, and if you attended it was sure to have been a wonderful time. There may have been a lot of food, drinking, and laughter during these events. It brought you great happiness, and a sense of belonging to have been able to attend these events.              As the 11th House is naturally ruled by Aquarius, you may have felt drawn over the past year to help out large groups in need. You may have felt lucky, or had lucky occurrences when you allowed your greatest humanitarian nature to shine through. You may over the past year have communicated with, or felt drawn to learn about those who are "foreign" to you. You may have went as far to even begin learning a new language, or have traveled out of state/country. At times during the last year it may have felt like the friends you kept close were some of the most loyal, and faithful friends a person could have. If you were unable before to tell who those people were, this transit could have luckily shown you your true friends. Those who supported you during this time were there when you needed them, and may have shared resources with you which you were in dire need of. You may have been lucky over the last year to be able to spend more time with those who you consider friends, and the battles which you faced, you could find them right by your side, ready to go to battle with you against all odds.                As the harsher transits effected Jupiter in your 11th house, there may have been times when you felt like the most un-lucky person alive in the areas mentioned above. There could have been bouts of loosing your sense of self in the groups, organizations, and networks in which you belonged. You may have felt at times like so many people wanted to be in your group, or wanted you to be a part of their group, that you instead isolated yourself completely. There may have been moments where it seemed like just your luck that you made not an enemy, but a group of enemy's. You could have attend a social function, or two in which you felt like you didn't belong, or shouldn't have went. You may have been scammed in giving charity to an organization, or have been taken advantage of by a group/friend you tried to help. During the harsher transits to Jupiter in your 11th house you may have been in need, and not received the help you asked for from "so called friends". Backstabbing, and deception could be seen in corners of your groups, and at times it might feel like it was all directed at you. Over the past year you may not have had enough time to take care of your friends, or groups, but somehow seemingly ended up with more, and more new friends. As moments came, and went where you felt the need to help them, you may have accidentally forgotten about the ones who mattered the most.              Now Jupiter moves into Sagittarius, and your 12th House of secrets, the unconscious, self undoings, and imprisonment. You will receive more luck, and lessons in this area than any other zodiac sign. During the next year you will be given all of the luck, and lessons for going deep within the psyche and re-wiring your thoughts. The 12th House rules our sacrifices, and our own personal Hell. This will be a time period to prepare for the entry of Jupiter into your 1st House next year, December 3rd, 2019. Your luck may show itself over the next year when you take the initiative to sacrifice aspects of your life which are only harming you. If you have the courage to let go, you will receive twice what you have let go of, and it will begin to fully resonate with you when Jupiter moves into your 1st House next year.Â
       During the positive aspects to Jupiter during the next year, you may luckily uncover a hidden secret. This hidden secret could be a literal piece of truth that is hidden from you, or a secret strength, courage, or talent you don't know you have. If you experience a lot of stress, and mental turmoil over this next year, your luck may be in just making it through, and remaining strong in the face of all of your weakness, and doubts. When you find that kind of inner strength, it can be life altering. From that point forward what used to scare you silly, will seem like a cake walk.
             If you have struggled with mental disease, it may have seem only lucky over the next year that you don't end up institutionalized or hospitalized. If you are able to avoid some of these situations by luck, it may have give you more time to sort through your mental workings on your own, and heal. If you are able to re-wire the way you think, you may finally reach liberation from all of your own mental bondage. You may have a lucky encounter or two with all things related to spirituality. Weather you luckily bumped into a spiritual figure, are able to watch God at work, or just have some strange spiritual yearnings come over you, your unconscious mind for the next year will be screaming for awakenings.             Over the next year you may receive luck in helping heal others in your life. During this time you will feel drawn to offer your services to another, weather solo, or group. You may feel that luck is on your side, and that with your help you could help others heal. At times your compassion may swell beyond your comprehension, as in why should you care for this, but you will. As the 12th house also rules all of our hidden enemies, no matter who may have a plan to harm you, during the positive transits to Jupiter, you have the protection of the universe on your side. You may experience more paranormal events than usual, at times luckily catching a glimpse of something beyond our conscious view. At times it could seem as if there is a guardian angel with you, watching over you. There may be out of this world religious awakenings, as your spiritual nature expands.              However over the next year when there are harsher transits to Jupiter in your 12th house, you may have feel like you are literally living in your own personal hell. The funny thing is that we are often our own worst enemy, and we hide this from ourselves deep within our unconscious. Your self undoings may have you feeling like the most unlucky person in the world in regards to your own mental state. Everyone's version of Hell is different, but common themes involve:Â
Restriction- Feeling like what you need/want is being kept from you on purpose
Bondage- Feeling trapped, and bound to the things which harm you
Self-Harm - Letting things harm you, knowing they intend to, or harming yourself (physically/mentally) with negative thoughts/talking down to yourself
Negative Entities- Actual occult phenomena of beings/ghosts which you don't understand, and which mean to harm/confuse you
Insanity/Madness- Events, actions, and phenomena which mean to confuse your mental state on purpose. These things have no rhyme, or reason, other than to confuse and weaken your state of being.Â
           During the harsh transits, Jupiter's expansion may have you telling more lies than you ever have in your life. These lies may have push anything which is up for review, farther back into the unconscious mind. You may be keeping a lot of secrets, which will find there way into the light during these harsh transits. Though all the while, continuing to pile up more secrets, and skeletons in your closet. You could easily find yourself becoming someone else's hidden enemy.            There may be moments where you feel repulsed, or disgusted with all matters related to spirituality, and spiritual figures. You may struggle during these harsh transits with what spirituality means to you, and what place it has in your life. You may feel blocked from receiving spirit, no matter how prevalent it makes itself in your waking reality. During these phases Jupiter's expansion could have your illusions growing into delusions, and they will threaten to take over not only your unconscious, but your waking reality. Your weakness, doubt, and fears may feel as if they are all around you, and you may have feel bound to them, or imprisoned by them. Some of you who struggle with mental illness may find yourselves hospitalized, or institutionalized, or other wise imprisoned. The 12th House rules all places where one might feel bound, and it may have feel at times like in prison, or out of prison...there is no escaping the bondage. The 12th house rules our hidden enemies, and you may feel  surrounded by enemies, but unable to discern them.          Â
        The gift Jupiter has to give you this cycle is freedom from these chains which you unknowingly carry around your ankles. However first you must be willing to sacrifice what no longer serves you, or Jupiter will do it for you.
       You cannot sacrifice what never belonged to you, and no mirror can see the true face of man. You've held your gift from birth, and it falls between your fingers like sand. A walk through hell...ends in the Stairway to Heaven.  A dark tunnel...ends in the light.  Â
Aquarius - 11th House - The Gift: Friends
               Jupiter has spent the last year touring your 10th House of Career, Honor, Fame, Public Image, and Awards. Over this past year you were granted more luck than any other zodiac in this area. You may have been lucky enough over this past year to catch a few breaks concerning the work you do. At times while working, it may have felt more like play. If you had been stuck in a job you didn't enjoy working, you may have had a lucky change of career during this time, in which you were honored for your hard work. Even if you didn't switch jobs, you may have received more honors for your work than usual, and many people may have tried to pull you into their business. You may have felt very ambitious during this last year, concentrating on your long term goals. Even if it was not publicly stated to you, your co-workers or the people you work with in your life, could have found new respect for you. They may have been looking up to you as an example of success.
           The 10th House speaks of our public image, the person someone else would say you are. During this phase, Jupiter's luck was like a cloak around others perception of you. Showing you in the light as a beacon of inspiration. If you had been planting any metaphorical seeds, setting any goals, or working towards something important to you, this may have been the year when you "reaped what you had sewn". If those seeds were planted with powerful intention, you may have seen your income go up, more demand for your presence at work, more mentions of you in public arenas, your reputation circulating, your status raise, and more power come into your hands.
                As the 10th house also rules our father figure, or more fluidly the parental figure that was more of the provider, and dominant parent, you may have had luck come to you from that source. This person may have made you feel special, and honored. They may have helped you to get a job. You may have luckily recognized a talent they passed onto you from birth that has helped your career tremendously, or that you are honored to receive from them. During this time, if this figure is deceased, you may have heard more talk around your community, or from others about how honored they were to know them. People may reach out to you, to let you know what a positive impact this figure had in their lives, and you will feel they did the same for you.           Â
            As there are two sides to the Jupiter coin, during the harsher transits to Jupiter, you may have felt like one of the most unlucky people in all of the areas above. Over the past year, the harsh transits to Jupiter could have had your public image in the spot light for less than honorable reasons. At times you may have felt like you were the village fool, and that your goals, and aspirations were nothing more than trivial entertainment for the towns people. You could have experienced public scandals, and heard gossip circulating about you from the grapevine. At times it could have felt like no matter how much ambition, and hard work you put into your career, it gave just as much push back.
         At times harsh transits to Jupiter could have had you loathing your work environment, and unable to switch careers. Your co-workers could have shown you new levels of disrespect, and acted completely unprofessional in handling situations involving you. You may have felt like you put all the work in for some honor, fame, or reward, only to be cheated out of it at the last second by a much less worthy candidate.       Going back to the dominant parental figure, or the "father" figure in your life...there could have been periods of un-rest, and disrespectful power plays between the two of you of the past year as harsh transits hit Jupiter. This person could have spread around misinformation about you, which may have tainted your public image. This person could have lead you to believe they could help your career, only to turn around and demean you with lies. During this time, if this figure is deceased, or absent from your life in someway, you may have asked yourself more times than one why they had to go, and why they couldn't be there for you. If not to help you, only to see what you have accomplished.
              Now Jupiter moves into Sagittarius, and your 11th house of  Friends, Groups, The Collective Organizations, and Networking. You will be given luck, and leeway in all areas connected to the 11th House above all other zodiac signs for the next year. It is here that your lucky breaks will make their way to you. In the 11th House, you are able to find your niche within a group. This time period will have you feeling lucky when you are working in numbers. Your friends, work colleges, and business associates may help you greatly in reaching your goals. They may luckily show up when you need help, or you may feel a desire to be  there for them if they are in distress. You may be lucky to be invited to more than one social gathering, and if you attended them, they are sure to be a wonderful and joyous time. There may be a lot of food, drinking, and laughter during these events. You will find you are gifted with great happiness, and a sense of belonging to have been able to attend these events.
     As the 11th House is naturally ruled by Aquarius, your humanitarian side will bring you the most joy, and luck now. You will feel drawn to help out large groups of people even more than usual. You will feel the most lucky, or have lucky occurrences when you allow your greatest humanitarian nature to shine through. You may over the next year want to communicate with, or felt drawn to learn about those who are "foreign" to you. You may be lucky enough to go as far to even begin learning a new language, or travel out of state/country. At times during the next year it may have feel like the friends you keep close are some of the most loyal, and faithful friends a person could have. If you were unable before to tell who those people were, this transit could have luckily shown you your true friends. Those who will support you during this time will be there when you need them, and may willingly share resources with you which you are in dire need of. You may be lucky over the next year to be able to spend more time with those who you consider friends, and the battles which you face, you will find them right by your side, ready to go to battle with you against all odds.Â
            As the harsher transits effected Jupiter in your 11th house, there may be times when you feel like the most un-lucky person alive in the areas mentioned above. There could be bouts of loosing your sense of self in the groups, organizations, and networks in which you belong. You may feel at times like so many people want to be in your group, or want you to be a part of their group, that you instead isolate yourself completely. There may be moments where it seems like just your luck that you made not an enemy, but a group of enemy's. You could attend a social function, or two in which you feel like you don't belong, or shouldn't have went. You may have be scammed in giving charity to an organization, or have be taken advantage of by a group/friend you try to help. During the harsher transits to Jupiter in your 11th house you may be in need, and not receive the help you ask for from "so called friends". Backstabbing, and deception may be seen in corners of your groups, and at times it might feel like it is all directed at you. Over the next year you may not have enough time to take care of your friends, or groups, but somehow seemingly end up with more, and more new friends. As moments come, and go where you feel the need to help them, you may accidentally forget about the ones who matter the most.
       Over the next year Jupiter's gift for you will be finally coming together with a legitimate group of friends, who understand you, respect you, and are there for you when you need them.
       "Good friends are one of life's blessings. Don't give them up without a fight." - Golly (Harriet the Spy)
Pisces  - 10th House - The Gift: Honor, and Fame
                 Over the last year Jupiter has spent some time rearranging your 9th house of spirituality, wisdom, and philosophy. During the past year you had more luck in all 9th house matters than any other zodiac sign. During this time you may have felt drawn to religion, spirituality, and ritual. You may have felt drawn to churches, spiritual gatherings, or caught yourself muttering a prayer or two. You may have felt drawn to go back to school, or get another degree. These places may be where you found the lucky gifts, and knowledge of Jupiter. Over the course of the past year, you may have been lucky enough to find your own version of religion, or spirituality which really spoke to the philosophical parts of your soul.               You may over the past year have come into contact with a "spiritual teacher", or someone who helped you to tap into those parts of yourself more. It may not have even been a literal person, but something that you learned a lot from on a spiritual level. This "teacher" may have given you gifts of higher knowledge, leading you to wonder, or believe even more that there is something bigger than you out there.              You could have been lucky enough to go back to school for another degree, or to finish a degree. There was a possibility you begun to teach yourself more over the past year even, taking up more online courses, or trying to read more often. You may have felt like even when you didn't try you learned something every day.               Jupiter rules the 9th House, and also all foreign matters. You may have been lucky enough to move someplace you consider far away from your home town, or taken an enlightening journey to some place you'd never been. You may have had experienced connecting more with people who were "foreign" to you, maybe learning more about cultures which are different than your own. You could have even been lucky enough to have been the foreign teacher to another curious soul.          During the harsher transits to Jupiter in your 9th house, you may have felt like the most unlucky person in the world regarding the matters above. You may have felt a strain of your relationship to the abstract ideas of spiritualism, or felt like you couldn't connect with anything higher than this physical plane. You may have experienced being turned away by certain religious sects, or felt out of place when you attend spiritual events. You may have felt even as if just your day to day, lacked a sense of meaning.  There may have been moments where you felt like certain religious views were being pushed upon you regardless of your own desires, and this may have made you feel like running far, far away. You may have had unlucky experiences abroad, or been afraid of things which you were not used to, or that were "foreign" to you during the past year. It could have seemed as if you didn't know enough to make informed decisions, or that you had been given false information for fact. You could have been turned down if you re-applied to school, or felt as though you couldn't get over the fact you never finished. You may have felt confused by all of the different philosophies out there, not knowing which one really resonated with you, if any.
          Now Jupiter enters your 10th house of  Career, Honor, Fame, Public Image, and Awards. Over the next year you will be granted more luck than any other zodiac in this area. You may be lucky enough over the year to catch a few breaks concerning the work you do. At times while working, it may even feel more like play. If you have been stuck in a job you don't enjoy working, you may have a lucky change of career during this time, in which you will be honored for your hard work. Even if you don't switch jobs, you may receive more honors for your work than usual, and many people may have try to pull your influence into their business. You may have feel very ambitious during this upcoming year, concentrating on your long term goals. Even if it is not publicly stated to you, your co-workers or the people you work with in your life, may find new respect for you. They may look up to you as an example of success.
            The 10th House speaks of our public image, the person someone else would say you are. During this phase, Jupiter's luck will act like a cloak around others perception of you. Showing you in the light as a beacon of inspiration. If you have been planting any metaphorical seeds, setting any goals, or working towards something important to you, this may be the year when you "reap what you have sewn". If those seeds were planted with powerful intention, you may have see your income go up, more demand for your presence at work, more mentions of you in public arenas, your reputation circulating, your status raise, and more power come into your hands.
            As the 10th house also rules our father figure, or more fluidly the parental figure that was more of the provider, and dominant parent, you may have luck come to you from that source. This person may make you feel special, and honored. They may help you to get a job. You may luckily recognize a talent they passed onto you from birth that has, and will help your career tremendously, or that you are honored to receive from them. During this time, if this figure is deceased, you may have hear more talk around your community, or from others about how honored they were to have known them. People may reach out to you, to let you know what a positive impact this figure had in their lives, and you will feel they did the same for you.
               As there are two sides to the Jupiter coin, during the harsher transits to Jupiter, you may feel like one of the most unlucky people in all of the areas above. Over the next year, the harsh transits to Jupiter could have your public image in the spot light for less than honorable reasons. At times you may feel like you are the village fool, and that your goals, and aspirations are nothing more than trivial entertainment for the towns people. You could experience being the center of a public scandal, and may hear gossip circulating about you from the grapevine. At times it could feel like no matter how much ambition, and hard work you put into your career, it gives just as much push back.
            At times harsh transits to Jupiter may make you loathe your work environment, but you may be unable to switch careers. Your co-workers may show you new levels of disrespect, and act completely unprofessional in handling situations involving you at work. You may have feel like you put all the work in for some honor, fame, or reward, only to be cheated out of it at the last second by a much less worthy candidate.            Going back to the dominant parental figure, or the "father" figure in your life...there may be periods of un-rest, and disrespectful power plays between the two of you when harsh transits hit Jupiter. This person may spread around misinformation about you, which may taint your public image. This person could lead you to believe they can help your career, only to turn around and demean you with lies. During this time, if this figure is deceased, or absent from your life in someway, you may have asked yourself more times than one why they had to go, and why they couldn't be there for you. If not to help you, only to see what you have accomplished.             Â
           Jupiter's displays honor upon you now, and the gift this cycle is drenched in gold. You have earned this, and should be proud, as it will feel like your name is written in lights.
         Two fish attend a party in their honor, surrounded by gifts, and drenched in praise. How could you deny your worth, or loose your faith? A seed grows in the ocean just the same.
Keep in mind this transit will last until December 3rd, 2019, when then Capricorn will be crowned the celestial favorite, and each sign will shift again.
If this hit the nail on the head for you, and you would like to know more, see the shop for a more in depth birth chart analysis!Â
Blessings,
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Big Brother || self para
featuring: @charliewebb
Bucky visits his sister in an assisted living home.Â
Charlie had driven him up to the nursing home, planning to visit her grandmother and his sister. To say that he was nervous was a bit of an understatement. Would she even know him? Recognize him? Would she hate him or even worse⌠be scared of him? They kept the conversation light on the drive up, but he was sure that she felt his nerves as they got off the highway and were just down the street. He looked down at his metal hand, having struggled that morning whether to wear a glove over it or not. Actually, he struggled on what to wear all around. Charlie suggested the leather jacket, but he was also pretty sure sheâd taken a liking to it. But no glove, so just the hand of his metal arm was showing. âThereâs n-no reason to h-hide it,â she told him. He liked to think she was right, but it still made him nervous.
As they pulled into the driveway, Bucky tried to distract himself with how nice the place seemed. At least his sister would be taken care of as she should be. But it did nothing to calm him. He startled when Charlie set her hand on his and he tore his eyes away from the building and flicked them towards her. âYou r-ready?â
He swallowed, taking one more look through the windshield and moved to exit the car. âNo,â he said simply. She took his hand as they walked inside, giving him a reassuring squeeze, which he appreciated. Bucky could hear his heart drumming in his ears. Feel it thumping hard in his chest. He wasnât ready for this. The receptionist at the desk gave him a double take when she took down his name, as people seeing him for the first time often did. She passed him a visitor's badge with a small smile. âMs. Barnes is just down the hall from your grandmother, Charlie,â she said.
The comment took Bucky by surprise. âMs. Barnes?â He asked. âWas she⌠did she never get married?â he questioned, not thinking about whether this woman would know the answer or not.
The receptionist nodded her head. âOh, she was married. Her husband died a few years ago. She just never took his name, as far as Iâm aware.â
Bucky blinked in surprise as Charlie started to led him down the hall. They were both on the first floor. Why would she never take her husbandâs name? It was very odd, he assumed. Especially back in their time. Who knows what the tradition was now. Maybe it wasnât as odd as he thought. The world did seem rather backwards to him in some aspects now. Charlie stopped, pointing to a room ahead of them. âTh-Thatâs her r-room there. Iâll b-be in here. Take y-y our time.â She leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek and let go of his hand. He would have responded to the affection, but he was already too numb, unsure of how his feet carried him to the open door of his sisterâs room.
Bucky released a deep, shaky breath, willing his hands to keep still and looked into the room. For a second, he was sure he would look in and find nothing. That all of this was a mistake. Just a woman with the same name. But as soon as he saw her sitting in a sofa chair by the window, he knew it was her. His heart was drumming in his chest again as he watched as all of her attention was on needlework in her lap. She was always so skilled at it, even when they were younger. Even at her age now, her hands were nimble and precise, having lost none of their skill. He leaned against the doorway and smiled gently, putting both hands in his jacket pocket. Seeing such a familiar sight put him slightly at ease. âHey, punk,â Bucky said gently.
The older woman paused in her work, pushing her glasses up and glancing in his direction. This was the moment of truth. Would she be happy to see him, or turn him away. She set the needlework in her lap aside and said with a stern look. âWhat took you so long?â Her voice was soft, but no less as sharp as he remembered.
He waited in the doorway until she waved him over and he finally felt a small smile curling up onto his lips. He pulled the second sofa chair closer to her own, directly in front of her and sat down, pulling his hands out of his jacket pockets. Bucky hesitated for a moment, then took one of her hands in his flesh one and released another shaky breath. âIâm sorry, Becca,â he said softly, keeping his gaze on their hands.
Her other hand settled on the top of their clasped hands. âFor what?â
The question surprised him and he finally glanced up at her. What didnât he have to be sorry for? Dying in the war when he promised to come home. Keeping Steve out of trouble in all the letters they sent back and forth. Doing terrible things for HYDRA which surely brought shame to their family when everything was revealed after the D.C. incident. For being too scared to find her until now⌠the list goes on. âFor⌠everything,â he said finally. The last word came out with a small tremble, one that even shocked him. If there was one thing that the Winter Soldier was best at it was burying all emotion. But he wasnât the one in control right now.
âYou always did run late. Iâm not surprised in the slightest.â Becca let go on his hand and went back to her needlework like it was any other conversation on any other day. âMother would have never let you get away with that hair cut,â she said simply, not even looking up at him.
Bucky was stunned for a moment, then couldnât stop the gentle laugh that fell from between his lips. It was followed closely by tears and he found himself laying his head in her lap. Not just because of her. But with the release of that laugh the wall came down. Everything that was taken from him came flooding back. Not just Becca, like when he taught her to dance before her first date. But his father and how the man almost refused to let his son go when Bucky reported to Boot Camp. And his mother when she taught him how to tie a windsor knot. He remembered them all. The first time he step up Steve on a date, and even all the names of the girls that he took on dates. And how much he actually loved dancing, and how good he was at it. He also remembered his grandparents. Sitting down at the piano with his grandmother as she taught him how to play.
Becca moved a hand through his hair as Bucky picked up his head and she wiped the tears from his face. âNothing has changed. Youâll always be my big brother.â
Bucky smiled, sitting up, wiping both hands over his face. âAnd youâll always be a punk.â It got the exact reaction that he predicted. Becca rolled her eyes and he laughed. This is everything that Bucky could have hoped for, and not for a second did he think it would become a reality. A weight lifted from his chest Bucky sat with her for an hour, talking about a lot of things. Mostly Becca listened. He told her about how he should have died the first time. Natasha. Remembering Steve. Where he went after D.C. and why he came back. And he told her about Charlie.
âAh, Lydiaâs granddaughter,â Becca said with a chuckle. âWell, you do have a scent for the same genes it seems.â
Bucky rolled his eyes. âOh god, that makes me sound a pedophile or somethingâŚâ He sighed. âYou think this is a bad idea?â
Becca shook her head. âNot at all. But I do think a doomsday is approaching when my brother asks me for relationship advice.â They both laughed.
However, that laughter was interrupted by another man walking into the room. Becca smiled, patting Buckyâs hand. âAh, hello son. Looked who dropped by. Bucky, this is my oldest. Your nephew⌠James.â
His stomach dropped. James. Jesus Christ. He was named after him. Bucky turned to the man in surprise, who seemed to be pretty confounded by his presence as well. Bucky flicked his gaze towards Becca, who was looking at him expectantly. He stood, running a hand through his hair before offering James his flesh hand. âI guess Iâm your uncle.â
Bucky hand stayed between them as James glanced down, and then back at his face. Disgusted. Although it was a reaction heâd been expecting for quite some time, it still took Bucky off guard. âI idolized you, you know. Especially since Iâm named after you. I grew up hearing stories about you every night.â The man shook his head.
âJamesâŚâ Becca said softly.
Bucky swallowed and lowered his hand back to his side as James went on. âYou were a hero. But you ended up being a monster like all the rest of them⌠you traitor.â
âJames,â Becca said again, more sternly this time.
âYou know I canât even go to work now with getting strange looks because everyone knows who Iâm named after. Iâve never been so ashamed in my lifeâŚâ
Bucky turned back to Becca. âIâll come see you in a few days,â he said softly, reaching down and placed a kiss on his sisterâs hand. With that, Bucky swiftly left the room and started down the hall.
âJames!â He heard his sisterâs voice behind him.
James apparently hadnât had enough. âNo! I donât want you coming back here. You and all your friends can stay the hell away! Youâve done enough. Even that traitor Steve Rog-â
It happened quicker than Bucky would like the admit. One second he was leaving, and the next he had James pressed up against a wall with his metal arm. âSteve had nothing to do with what happened to me. So keep your mouth shut! How many times do they have to save sniveling people like you before you understand? Someone has to stand on the front lines to protect this world⌠so who is going to do it. You? And all of you are so ready to line them up one by one and read off their sins. If you want someone to blame⌠blame me. Blame me, James. Iâm your bad guy. But stop putting crimes on Steve, and Tony, and Parker like they are no better than the ones they lock up.â Bucky released him and James scrambled away from him, terrified. He glanced at a couple of the wandering eyes on him and then turned and left the building.
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Soooo...Jason Momoa told a little kid that Superman wasn't in Justice League because he was dead, DC is making a Superman Year One comic with Frank Miller as the author, they're making a two-part animated movie based on "the Death and Return of Superman," and rumors are flying around that Supergirl is going to be in Justice League. Oh, and the Justice League trailer dropped. Your thoughts?
Thatâs a lot to take it. Letâs start with the big one. New Justice League trailer!
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Sorry guys, still donât like it. Granted, it doesnât look as bad as the previous trailer made it look, but it still looks massively underwhelming. Hell, the only character presented I even like is Wonder Woman, because sheâs the only one whoâs been established.
Well, established in a good movie, at least.
The rest consist of a Batman who belongs behind bars just as much as any of his villains and three other characters weâre meeting for the first time fighting a villain that nobody gives a shit about, which could be forgiven if the characters were interesting but again Batmanâs an asshole and we donât know anything about Aquaman, Flash, or Cyborg yet. And am I the only one who cringed at Cyborgâs line? Not the line itself, but the flat, robotic delivery. Good god, they took one of the most expressive and emotional live-wires in comic book history and turned him into Arnold from Terminator 2, but without the charm and charisma.
Iâm also not looking forward the role the Amazons play, which appears to be them being in the movie for the sole purpose of Steppenwolf to kill/mop the floor with them. Yeah, take the place and characters everybody who watched Wonder Woman fell in love with and just wipe them off the face of the Earth in their second appearance. No way thereâs going to be any backlash from that!
Honestly, I could write an essayâs worth of things in the trailer that irked me, but topping that list are these lines from Batman.
âSuperman was a beacon for the world. He didnât just save people, he made them see the best parts of themselves.â

Letâs forget for a moment that Superman has only been in two DCEU movies and you can count on one hand how many times he was shown in a heroic light. Letâs forget for a moment that Man of Steel and especially Batman v Superman spent more time hammering into audiences skulls that more people in this world are afraid of Superman than there are people who see him as a hero. And letâs forget for a moment that this Superman has spent more time feeling sorry for himself than he ever did being the symbol of hope the movies tried and failed miserably building him up to be.
Letâs instead take into account that these lines are coming from Batman. Oh yeah, Superman totally brought out the best in people. Thatâs why after the disaster in Metropolis, you took a deep breath, composed yourself, and reached out to him to see what he was really about before jumping to conclusions and-oh wait, no you didnât, you obsessed over him for over a year and decided to straight-up murder his ass, you fucking hypocrite!
Seriously, what the fuck, WB? You spend two whole movies shitting on Superman, the people who love him, and his legacy, and now youâre trying to save face by saying that he brought out the best in people when youâve only shown the BAD things that happened because he exists? Fuck off. No, seriously, fuck right off. You have to EARN that shit, which you fucking didnât because you killed Superman before anybody could connect with him and threw the entirety of âThe Death and Return of Supermanâ right under the bus in the last 20 minutes of a Batman movie! I honestly donât know whatâs worse. That Batman is being portrayed as a stupid and hypocritical murderous asshole, or that said stupid and hypocritical murderous asshole is leading the team that Superman is supposed to be the leader to!
Ugh, FUCK everything! But letâs move on, shall we? Frank Miller is writing Superman: Year One.
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The very idea of Frank Miller writing any solo-Superman story makes my skin crawl. The fact that the same guy who turned Superman into Ronald Reaganâs personal attack dog who canât read and raped Wonder Woman is retelling Supermanâs origin story? Ugh. Just thinking about that makes me feel like I need to jump into a swimming pool filled with bleach and then get buried up to my neck in rock salt!
Letâs all just put aside that Frank Miller is a racist and misogynist scumbag who hasnât written anything good since Robocop vs the Terminator. Letâs instead take into account that the man has been writing comic books for 40 years now and has written Superman several times, and every time heâs portrayed him as stupid, boorish, and incompetent while going out of his way to have Batman humiliate him in some way, shape, or form. Yes, I know, Miller has said that he actually likes Superman and only wrote him that way because the story was from Batmanâs perspective and that he actually regrets writing him as a government tool, yeah, I donât fucking believe him. Heâs had dozens if not hundreds of opportunities to show Superman in a positive light and heâs never done it. Heâs never done it before, so why would he now? The only time Superman has ever been portrayed with any semblance of who he actually is in a Frank Miller work was in Dark Knight III: the Master RaceâŚyou know, the one book in the series that Frank Miller didnât write! Oh, but he wants to write part IV, so great, heâll get to shit on Superman one more time before he either retires or his diseased liver and STD-ridden body do him in. âOh, but Katie, he has cancer!â So? Heâs still an asshole!
Well, that was grim. Letâs talk a little bit about Jason Mamoa telling a little kid that Superman was dead.
Okay, in the interest of fairness, I donât think Mamoa had any malicious intent. Iâm sure he was just caught up in the moment and wasnât thinking straight, especially when he apologized to the same kid during an autograph signing that followed the panel. It was still a dick move on his part, but whether or not he gave it some thought, his fellow cast members told him âdude, thatâs a little kid,â or his PR guy said âLook Mamoa, Warner has done a fine job of alienating Superman fans all on their own, they donât need you helping. Now if you want to shrug off being typecast as an uncouth barbarian youâd better stop acting like one and say youâre sorry!â Iâm glad he realized it was a dick move and took it back. Iâm sure the fact that WB still wants to convince us that Superman is really dead wasnât helping either. Speaking of whichâŚ

The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen are getting animated adaptations.
I have very mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, this was one of the stories I said deserved a faithful animated adaptation. Yes, some aspects donât hold up anymore, but they can be worked around. This is also not the first time the story was adapted, as âSuperman: Doomsdayâ was what kicked off the string of animated DC movies. But it was also very watered down and may as well have been called âSuperman: the Clone Saga.â So the fact that theyâre making a two-part animated adaptation should be good newsâŚ
Having said that, letâs get real. If they genuinely wanted to make a faithful adaptation of âThe Death of Superman,â they would have already. I canât shake the feeling that the only reason itâs even being made is because Warner and DC realize that shoe-horning Doomsday into the end of BvS only succeeded in alienating Superman fans and they need to save face, not helped by the fact that the last animated solo-Superman movie they made, Superman Unbound, came out in 2013. Everything else since then has been either a Justice League movie or a Batman movie. Oh sure, Superman was in some of them, but the only one where he had anything resembling a leading role was in Justice League: Gods and MonstersâŚthe alternate universe story where Wonder Woman is from space, Batman is a vampire, and Superman is the son of General Zod and his capsule lands on the US/Mexico border right as some refugees are crossing because apparently the writers felt that Superman being an alien just wasnât quite on the nose enough.
Now I know what you might be thinking. âOkay, so maybe they didnât make it as soon as you would have liked, but theyâre making it anyway so whatâs the problem?â The problem is the possibility that theyâre making this not because they want to or feel that itâs a story worth adapting, but again just so they can save face for those of us Superman fans who felt alienated at the conclusion of Batman v Superman where the entirety of the story was boiled down to âLex Zuckerburg creates Nuclear Man 2.0 and Superman gets stabbed to death at the end.â And a movie that nobody wants to make tends to be a movie that nobody wants to see.
Thatâs to say nothing of the fact that DC animated moviesâŚwell, they just havenât been very good lately. Ever since their Flashpoint film, the movies have ranged from okay to outright bad. Justice League: War sucked, Son of Batman was obnoxious, Assault on Arkham was good but not great, Throne of Atlantis was a snooze-fest, Batman vs Robin sucked, Gods and Monsters was okay, Batman: Bad Blood had a good movie in it that was bogged down by the writers putting Batwomanâs story on the back-burner and insisting Dick and Damian arguing had to be on the forefront, Justice League vs Teen Titans could have been good if they didnât put the least-interesting character Damian Wayne center-stage for no goddamn reason, Justice League Dark was hot garbage, Judas Contract was lame, and the less said about The Killing Joke the better.
In shortâŚI hope itâs good, but given previous movies and the circumstance, Iâm not holding my breath.
EDIT: Forgot about Supergirl apparently appearing in Justice League. I hope she kicks Batmanâs ass. Itâs long overdue somebody took Batman down a peg and I can think of worse motivations than âYou got my cousin and only other member of my race killed,â as well as providing catharsis for Superman fans given he landed a grand total of two fucking punches in the title fight of Batman v Superman. Other than that, I donât really care. Her inclusion canât make the movie anymore troubled than it already is.
#Justice League#Superman#Wonder Woman#DC#Batman#Supergirl#DC animated universe#DC extended universe#DCAU#DCEU#Frank Miller#Comicon#movie#rant#please don't suck
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To Make Much of Time chapter 37 and 38 commentary track
Another authorâs choice. To Make Much of Time This was The Scene that made people yell at me.
Timelines shifted, and [the Doctor] knew this had been the endgame all along. âRose, hold on! Hold on!â he shouted, but when she looked at him, he knew sheâd felt the timelines too, and knew what was going to happen next.
One of the fun things I did in TMMOT was really play with the idea of âthereâs a storm coming.â The Doctor started feeling someone messing with their timelines all the way back on Krop Tor, trying to split him and Rose up. So the whole time theyâve been together (because the first I love you came just after Krop Tor), theyâve been fighting this growing sense that disaster is looming.Â
And this--Canary Wharf, Rose trapped in a parallel universe--this was the endgame of all that timeline fiddling.Â
The suction slowly lifted her body until she was stretched parallel to the ground. She screamed against the pressure, and the Doctor winced, knowing how much her hands and shoulders must be hurting for her to cry out like that.
Rose, loveâhold on!
Their eyes met, and she readjusted her grip on the lever. I wonât let go, she promised, just like she had in the dream. I donât want to leave you.
Oh yep! That growing realisation included a prescient dream on Roseâs part. In fact, the next chapter starts with this scene from her POV, and she recognises this room from her dream as soon as she steps into it.Â
I said this morning that I love writing Doomsday related things because of all the emotion involved, and this is a large part of it. I love their growing awareness of exactly what is going to happen in this room. Sometimes they avoid it, but even then, they know how close they came.
But they both knew it was an empty promise. Watching her fingers slip from the lever one at a time was worse than dying a thousand deaths. Rose smiled at him, but the Doctor could only stare in mute horror.
When she finally lost her grip entirely, time slowed, and the Doctor was vaguely aware that he must be slowing it down, trying to give Rose a way, somehow, to save herself.
Rose can promise never to leave him all she wants, but in this particular case, they both felt the timelines slide into place as soon as she let go of her clamp. How awful must it be for the Doctor, to watch her fall and be so close, yet not be able to do a thing about it?
And Rose is trying to be so brave for him, but I hurt for her, too. Especially because in this story, they have a telepathic bond and she knows itâs going to hurt when sheâs gone. Not only that, the Doctor had offered earlier in the day to undo the bond (because remember, this is just the provisional bond, not the permanent one), and she said no because she was so certain they would make it through the day.
Ugh, think of how guilty she must feel, knowing that very soon, they will both feel that bond tear. Itâs not that itâs her fault, but she was the one to make the call of not dissolving it. She decided, and theyâll both pay the price.
âRose!â he yelled, not wanting to see her drawn into the Void, but unable to look away from her.
The second before she reached the wall, Pete Tyler reappeared. Rose landed solidly in his arms and she looked back at the Doctor. I love you.
The Doctor focused on the bond, opening himself up to it so she could feel how much he loved her. Her answering love and sorrow reverberated back to him, then Pete hit the button on his hopper and they disappeared.
Ah, the benefit of writing a couple with a telepathic bond! Because you can say something telepathically much faster than you can using your actual voice, so she had time to tell him she loved him, and he had time to answer.Â
One last chance to tell your beloved how much you care for them...
And now weâre to the heart of the scene, the part that I get yelled at for.
The suction slowly faded, and then for a few seconds he could actually see the breach weave itself back together before closing entirely. His bond with Rose pulled like it had before, but this time it tore completely, and he shuddered at the pain.
The Doctorâs breath came in heaving sobs. When his feet touched the ground again, he stared at the wall for a long moment, as if he could will Rose back into existence by focusing on the point from which she had disappeared. Then he walked toward it in a daze, not stopping until he was pressed against it, his hand splayed out flat.
Oh, this hurts so much. they were so happy just before coming to London, and now... what, three hours later? Heâs left alone, with a ring in his coat pocket that heâll never be able to give Rose and a telepathic bond thatâs left a gaping wound in his mind.
The place in his mind where Rose was supposed to be was empty. His mind tried to reach across the Void to find her, but the breach was well and truly closed. There was nothing there; no answer from her, no brush of her warm, pink-gold mind against his. She was just gone, and the bone deep loss nearly brought him to his knees.
The emptiness in his head after the war had nearly driven him mad. Then heâd met Rose, and even before the Game Station, sheâd filled some of the hollow places left by the loss of his people. Later, their empathic connection and bond had given him the telepathic communion heâd needed.
Losing her ripped open wounds that had barely begun to scab over. He stumbled back a few steps from the wall, his vision clouded. The TARDIS sang to him, and he turned around, letting her call him home.
The hardest part about writing this scene was that I had to make it worse than canon. And the canon Doctor is pretty much catatonic as he walks out of this room.Â
Losing Rose... he was never supposed to lose Rose. She was always supposed to be there with him, in his mind, and now she was gone. The idea that a mind suffering from a broken telepathic bond would constantly try to reach out for its partner is... it hurts. It hurts a lot, partly because it makes sense so you canât really argue that the author is just making things up so the scene will hurt more. When you rip apart two things that have been connected, it hurts.
And losing Rose is so much more than just losing a telepathic partner. Itâs losing his other half, the person who heâd planned to be with for the rest of his life.Â
Oh, because of course, hereâs something I never really touched on but ow.... He knows that Roseâs life has been extended. So part of what heâs thinking here is that sheâs trapped in a parallel universe where she will outlive everyone. That curse of the Time Lords he went on about once? Sheâs going to go through that, alone, without anyone to stay with her. At least when seh was in this universe, they could share their forever.
Chapter 38
Being at all points in time at once, the TARDIS felt everything her Thief had felt, was feeling, and would feel. A moment ago, she had caught a ripple of his horror as he watched Rose lose her grip on the handle.
Have I mentioned how much I love writing from the TARDISâ point of view? The way she relates to Time is so differently from how you or I see it, and that means that even while sheâs parked in one moment in time, she can still look ahead and back and see all the results of this single event.
Then she felt the utter devastation and loss as he stoodâwould stand shortlyâin front of a white wall, with their Wolf trapped on the other side.
His sorrow as he tried to say good-bye to Rose and his guilt when he realised their severed bond was hurting her, too.
But weâre with the Doctor right now. Ugh, it was so hard to write this. Because I didnât just mention these moments, I went and got quotes. Losing Rose devastated the Doctor in a way the TARDIS could only understand because the two of them have a connection of their own.Â
The emptiness as he continued to travel, trying to carry on with a life that was certainly better with two. Always reaching for her hand, always wishing she were there to explain things that he didnât see. Remembering her every day, aching for her every day, until the TARDIS thought the pain would drive them both mad.
Oh, poor Doctor--and poor TARDIS. Because with their connection, his grief is affecting her, too. They both want Rose back. The Doctor needs Rose back.Â
His lonely timeline continued on, but the TARDIS turned to her Wolf, the one who had looked into her heart. In her, she saw someone so determined to never leave the Doctorâs side that she would literally step through universes to get back to him.
This is a personal bit of headcanon. I already mentioned earlier in this story that the TARDIS made the possibility of becoming Bad Wolf available to Rose only because she already knew what option Rose would take. Rose would always choose to do whatever was necessary to keep the Doctor safe.Â
And so here, the TARDIS has seen how much losing Rose will devastate the Doctor, but she also wants to see how Rose will react. They both know the Doctor wonât continue looking for ways to get across the Void, mostly for his own sanity. Will Rose let his âYou canâtâ stop her, or will she fight to prove him wrong?
In the present moment, the TARDIS watched Roseâs fingers slip from the lever and saw the despair on her face. A man appeared and grabbed her Wolf, and then they were gone.
Two timelines diverged thenâthe one she had seen, and the one she would create. The TARDIS reached across the still open Void and grabbed the part of herself sheâd left behind in Rose when they were Bad Wolf, with all of Time at their fingertips, and she pulled.
And this is why I needed Rose to fall. I could have written a fixit where she didnât, but the idea in my head was that her falling would prod the TARDIS into action, so she would reach out and bring Rose home.
Oh! And also, this whole scene was part of the reason I really worked hard at showing that Rose in my series is even closer to the TARDIS than the canon Rose was... well, if the TARDIS could have saved the canon Rose like this, why didnât she? (Shh, donât talk to me about actor contracts.) I wanted there to be an in-universe reason, some way that my Rose was already slightly different. And by heightening her telepathy over the past 8 months or so, which of course brought them even closer, I could do that.
Again, thanks to the way the TARDIS sees time, she could look down both their timelines in less than a second and reach out for Rose just before the Void closed. To the Doctor, it would seem as if Rose were trapped, so we keep the integrity of that gut-wrenching scene at the end of chapter 38. And for Rose... well, read on.
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Rose took in a deep breath and quickly examined her surroundings: a beach, somewhere chilly, on a grey day. There wasnât anyone in sight, but she did see a path leading up to the road. Following it, she found a sign that named the beach, and a shiver ran down her spine.
Bad Wolf Bay.
I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.
So. Rose was in Peteâs World Torchwood for all of maybe... fifteen seconds, and then the TARDIS pulled her home. Only she got the landing a bit off, as she so often does.
I thought about having her pulled into the TARDIS. But thatâs been done, and I really liked the idea of a reunion on Bad Wolf Bay--in this universe. To Rose, those words were always about coming back to the Doctor. Itâs why I think the canon end to Doomsday was such a shock to her. She heard the Doctorâs voice, and it called her to a place named after a force that had brought them together against all odds. Why wouldnât she think the same miracle was about to happen?
It had to be a sign, but of what? Why would she and the TARDIS have decided to put her on this deserted beach in a parallel world?
Something tickled at the back of Roseâs mind, and she looked harder at the sign, trying to figure out what it was. Alongside the name of the beach there was a map, indicating she was fifty miles outside of Bergen. But what⌠And then she realised. Bergen was in Norway. The sign was in Norwegian, but she was seeing English. If Iâm in Peteâs World, how is the TARDIS translating for me?
Having Rose piece this together was fun. Even if you were taken out of your step-fatherâs arms and deposited on a beach, I donât it would automatically occur to you that youâd also crossed the Void.Â
But once she realises the TARDIS is still translating for her... well, that changes things.
As she walked back down to the beach, Rose allowed the possibility that she was still in the same universe as the Doctor to take hold of her mind. She was still here, not trapped on the other side of those white walls.
And then Rose settled in to wait. Wait on a windy beach in Norway until she heard one of her favourite sounds in the universe--the TARDIS materialising as her Doctor came to bring her home.
#Nancy's birthday extravaganza#ten x rose#tmmot#series: being to timelessness#Doomsday Tuesday#bloody doomsday#angst#reunion
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Care, Barr! (With no spoilers, but a couple of oblique references, and no apologies for the dad jokes)
So I finally watched Justice League, and I have to say...Barry Allen gives us a glimpse into a much better movie. Heâs genuinely the best part of the movie, if only because they decided to make the tones of Wonder Woman darker again (because colourful worlds and hope are an alien concept, I guess). In fact....
They should have built the movie more around him.
Barry is sometimes the POV character in the movie, though I would argue he should be more so. Ezra Millerâs Flash does something nobody else in the movie is allowed to do. Two things, actually: be funny, and act human.
Part of what I enjoyed about the movie was that Flash was anxious about being a superhero. Heâs been doing his Flash thing for at least a little while, but heâs not really fought supervillains. Heâs nervous. Heâs afraid. But heâs also the brightest light on the team. Heâs generally chipper, if a bit ff the wall, and in doing so, he becomes likable and relatable.
What I would then argue is that we could have used this to make the other characters more likable.
The biggest examples are Batman and Superman, both controversial characters and both of which had a lot of detractors. From Batman being homicidal and unhinged to Supermanâs neck-snapping debut, there are a lot of issues with the DCEUâs portrayal of the two. Barry, thorgh being a sympathetic and likable character, could have been used to help humanise the other two. In fact, Batman does this for one brief moment: the âsave oneâ moment. Arguably, heâs just being a good tactician and still doesnât care about the anxiety Barryâs having, but he reaches out to a scared kid and gives him a level of reassurance, and Flash pulls himself together.
Instead of starting the movie off with a camera phone shot of Superman, or Batman terrorising criminals, we could have used Barry to establish the impact of the two. Itâs a harder sell with Batman, but since everyone seems to know about the Doomsday fight, I think it wouldnât be too much of a stretch to have that impact.
Barryâs likable. He endears himself to us. We care about him, and if he cares about these people, we are more likely to care. Care, Barr! Wait, no.
This could also dovetail with other elements of the movie. Bruce feeling inadequate as a team leader is already the catalyst for Suprmanâs Return (Iâm not giving anything away thatwasnât advertised, donât @ me), some scenes showing this off instead of one stray scene showing heâs not the badass WW or Fish Whisperer are. We know Bruce is a man among gods as opposed to a god among men. Thatâs a terrible entryway to this plot point.
The biggest flaw in this is it would require writing that actually gave a damn. This is the movie that took Wonder Woman, beacon of hope and made her drab and largely disaffected. And on some level, I get that direction. She suffered a couple of pretty bg losses, but she doesnât seem hurt by them.
Justice League didnât have much in the way of characters. It had brooding automatons who occasionally slipped into âquip modeâ for a scene before going back to brooding. There was almost nothing to connect to. Nothign except Barry.
I donât think this is on the actors. Cavill seems a competent Superman burdened by his one kryptonite: bad writing. Affleck seemed tolerable. Gal Gadot has demonstrated she can be Wonder Woman. And Jason Momoa is not the greatest actor, but heâs so fucking likable and they couldnât even get that down.
Also important, they could have done a darker movie than Marvel and still been entertaining. BvS didnât suck because it was darker, it sucked because it was a joyless singularity from which no good coujld escape. Oh, and because the story was an incomprehensible mashup of scenes with half-baked plots that led nowhere, but Iâm trying to keep this relevant.
This is why Iâm a fan of the other Flash on our screens right now. The Grant Gustin Barry Allen is a tragic figure, and the storylines are often dark and serious. But Barry, Caitlin and Cisco are all likable characters. There is heart and humour and a reason to care about the characters on the screen. Reason enough that Iâve sat through some really stupid plots.
And thatâs the other thing. The end of the world plot in Justice League isnât inherently worse than the bare bones plot of Avengers, or the slightly less bare bones plot of Avengers: Spader Takes Sokovia. The major difference is that the dumb premise is more of an excuse to get these characters to interact. To work together, to come to blows. These movies are more entertaining not because of brilliant plots (world-ending army of identical enemies? No), but because of characters you care about with roles delivered by actors who act in a way that lets you care about them. The same for the dumb superhero punch-up in Avengers 3: Civil War. And would the results of Avengers 4: the real Avengers 3 have the same impact if it was DCâs extended universe in play?
For me, no. There are two exceptions: Wonder Woman as sheâs written in her solo movie? Yes. And if Barry Allen said âMister Wayne, I donât feel so good,â I would probably have a similar reaction.
The Flash solo movie is no longer going to be called âFlashpoint,â and news articles have said itâll be more like Back to the Future than the Flashpoint comic series/animated movie/breakfast cereal, and I hope thatâs true. The future of the DCEU as a whole is up in the air, but if it is to continue, then Barry Allen is both the hero the fans deserve and the one the franchise needs.
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