#given most are in the states rn but idk

[creekbed-burial]

I am literally so fucking thankful for my parents and friends rn they are truly the only thing keeping me afloat rn

Also thankful for Twin Peaks because watching it on 24+ hours of no sleep is like actually comforting but also probably a torture method

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

[cathymee]

promised myself that i'm gonna fix up my notes from last sy so i can share it with upcoming humss students but i also keep going 'but what's the point'

[hella1975]

why is there a twenty marker analysing empirical evidence of game theory on this saturday exam

[spocksmalewife]

i'm experiencing a dilemma

[sickandtwisted01]

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x AFAB!READER

———————————————————————-

warnings/tags: pre-discussed and consensual somnophilia, no pronouns other than you, slightly unsure Simon, uhhh idk how to spell it but Simon’s being a munch rn

_____________________________________________

Simon was a man of great self restraint– it was something he’d always seemed to pride himself on, even from a young age, he’d always had that sense of being able to stop himself in even the most tempting situations. Self-discipline was one of the top things on his list that kept him from doing anything reckless, stupid or idiotic. However, coming home to find you like this… that was unexpected.

You were sprawled out on the bed, blankets wrapped in your limbs like a ribbon with spots of exposed skin in just the right places, your stomach, your upper body, one long leg. You had on a tank top, a pair of rather skimpy black underwear and nothing else– it was almost like you’d planned on tempting him and of course, this was a conversation you’d had with Simon. He usually came home early in the mornings, around 4:30 or 5:00am, when you were still wrapped up in the loving embrace of sleep. There were other circumstances that’d brought the topic up, though. How Simon’s low sex drive fluctuated and the urge to be buried deep inside of you hit at the most random times, usually just as early as his returns home.

That was how the conversation was brought up and you were the one to mention it. “You know… you could just…” Your voice trailed off, eyes shifting Simon’s face for a moment before darting away.

“Just what?” Simon questioned back, gaze lifting to meet yours. “Oh, don’t be nervous, lovey.” He cooed gently, sensing the anxiety radiating off of your body. He pulled you closer, into his lap. He placed three gentle kisses against your face lovingly, humming as his arms wrapped around your torso, “What could I just do?” He hummed against your ear.

While his loving reassurance was kind, and seemed to ease some of the anxiety in you, it didn’t all leave. “You could just… fuck me while I’m asleep, if you wanted.” You told him softly, not daring to meet his gaze.

At first, the idea was one that Simon just seemed to laugh off. It felt… too close for comfort on the lines of what he thought was right, or wrong. Taking advantage of you– even if you’d given previous consent, in a state where you felt safe, vulnerable and comfortable just wasn’t something he really was interested in doing.

But… now, taking in the frame of your body, the way your face was completely relaxed and as beautiful as ever with the moonlight shining over your body from the window to the right of the bed… he was seemingly rethinking this. The man leaned over, placing his duffle bag down beside the entrance of your room as he came over to the bed.

Gingerly Simon reached out and gripped the edges of the plush blankets that kept him from taking in every inch of you. He hesitated for just a moment before pulling it back, taking a moment to bask in the glory that was you, your body, your presence. It all filled him as soon as he peeled the material back– this was new for him, slightly exciting, a bit nerve-wracking. You’d asked him to do this. That was what he had to keep reminding himself in an attempt to calm the nerves that had now taken place in his stomach and he hadn’t even really done anything yet.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, springs groaning and creaking under his weight. He reached out slowly, brushing hair from your sleeping face. He hummed gently, hand cupping the side of your face for a moment as his thumb ran along the height of your cheekbone. He stayed like this for a second or two, simply watching you and allowing himself to feel comfortable enough to do what he really wanted to.

Dark eyes raked over your body, his hand following the movement until his hand and gaze rested on your abdomen. You didn’t stir– always such a hard sleeper, which, he supposed was working to his favor at this moment. He crept lower, into the waistband of your underwear. The man let out a gentle exhale as his fingers found the heat of your folds, index finger prodding at your entrance while his thumb brushed teasingly at your clit. Testing the waters, seeing how you’d react. Your body twitched, a pleasured sigh escaping your parted lips. This was enough encouragement for a bit of confidence to well in Simon’s chest. He removed himself from the invasion of your underwear, moving to sit between your legs. His fingers hooked into each side of the thin layer of fabric restricting his access to you, slowly pulling them down your legs. Warmed palms followed, tossing the material aimlessly behind him.

He hummed, large palms parting your thighs gently. He took a moment to drink in the beauty of your unclothed frame before his tall frame leaned down, licking a broad stripe along your core. The sound that escaped your still sleeping body was like music to his ears, only more encouragement for him to continue. The second your taste hit his tongue, he was to work. His tongue is latched onto your clit, eye fluttering closed as he allows his instincts to take over.

Simon’s hands stayed rested on either of your thighs, placing a minimal amount of pressure as he held them open to keep his access to your body, despite your beginning stages of movement– which was not something new, you were just as squirmy for him while awake and conscious. He swirled his tongue around your clit, humming gently against the bundle of nerves. A wicked grin spread across his lips as he felt your hips start to roll against his face a bit, small whines and whimpers escaped you.

You were stirring, and by the way you were moving, Simon could only assume you’d be awake sometime soon. The wet muscle that was providing your unaware body with so much pleasure dipped down, finding it’s way into your entrance. The moment it did so, a quickened breath caught in your throat. Your hands reached out, lacing into Simon’s short locks. Your eyes opened to slits, brows furrowing lightly. “Fuck… yes…” You hissed out, back arching lightly as you basically forced poor Simon’s head to stay buried in your sex.

Your head lifted a bit, breathing out heavily as his tongue plunged in and out of your body, hips bucking against his face. “Please, Simon, please– fuck, don’t… don’t stop.” You managed out, voice breathy and still filled with the grips of slumber. Simon was more than happy to oblige, your broken words and hiccuped noises only seemed to encourage his actions.

The familiar heat of orgasm coiled in your abdomen as his tongue pressed into that perfect, sweet spot nestled deep within your body. Your brows furrowed, eyes squeezing closed as you let out a gentle groan, “That’s it, right there…” You spoke, moaning as Simon’s tongue thrust inside of you as deep as he could. Your back arched further, fingers pulling lightly at the strands of hair zipped between your grip. Your orgasm ripped through your body, a harsh breath escaping first and then the reverb of your moans. Simon’s assault on your core stopped, but he stayed between your legs, still suckling at your clit to help ride out the lingering waves of the orgasm crashing over your body.

It was two minutes or so before he stopped, and you’d let your tightened grip on his head go. He hummed gently, fingers stroking along your abdomen as he looked up to you. There was a small smile on his face as he reached out, placing his hand back against your face. He moved so he was atop of you, hovering over your body. His mouth was glistening with your juices but that didn’t seem to phase him, he brought his free hand up to wipe against his mouth, “Sweet as ever.” He spoke softly, leaning up to place gentle kisses against your neck and jaw.

You hummed back, arms wrapping around his shoulders loosely. You basked silently in the kisses, humming as you tilted your head towards him. Your eyes closed slowly, “Missed you so much…” You tell him softly, fingers toying with the back of his hairline.

He leans down, forehead resting against yours. “I missed you, too, lovie.” He whispered back, kissing against your cheek twice before moving to lay next to you. He pulled you against his body, covering you both up. “Get back to sleep, yeah?” He spoke gently, running a hand along your back. “We can continue this in the morning…. let you rest up a bit.”

There’s a small huffed laugh that escapes your throat, but you don’t have much fight. You nodded against Simon’s chest. “Yeah…” You muttered, “That sounds… like a really good idea.” You whispered out softly, eyes closing as you nuzzled your body against his side.

[neyafromfrance95]

I have a feeling is Galadriel is going to go with Sauron at the end the season as well. The scene with Elrond when she has the vision and then she ask him to oppose Sauron above her life and he agrees. I was like, 'Oh Gal is going with Hot Sauron.' I'm not sure for what reason yet, if she's actually going dark or sacrificing herself, but I believe that's where this is heading.

honestly i'm having the most excited + nervous time in all my years of being in the fandom bc i have no idea how the finale will turn out.

on the one hand, i go:

"no way they will actually go there. these shows always end up disappointing and underwhelming when it comes to their handling of romance/ships bc they chicken out."

but in this case, i think it really comes down not to the writers who i'm 100% sure do want to go there and are doing their best to somehow do that, but to the executives who don't give a single fuck about the good storytelling. all they care about is what brings in more money/viewership so they often avoid risky business (this is why tv is in a very bad state rn, btw).

so ofc i know it's wiser to expect them to just resolve galadriel's conflict in an "epic" fight scene, marvel-style, yk 💀

but on the other hand, galadriel "touching the darkness" or ending up with sauron in one way or another is not just one of the scenarios the writers might wish to explore or one of the cool theories that the fans came up with. the given storyline is literally leading to exactly that. that's why i'm saying that they've set themselves up. and the conclusion being a repeat of s1 outcome would simply be an objectively poor storytelling.

so idk folks.

[stardustdiiving]

How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking

As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that

Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.

Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person

My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House

Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:

It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse

Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not

This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person

I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense

If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

i was just scrolling thru tiktok and found this, it's genuinely so triggering to see how little the staff think about the patients and how casually they talk about forcing meds on the patients

it shows so clearly that they don't see the patients as people because if they did they wouldn't be posting this shit talking about it and bosting about forcing unwanted medication on human beings and the fact that in most of these places if you are a patient you are not allowed to have contact with the outside world ""for the sake of your dignity"" supposedly so when u r out then no1 has 2 know what kind of state u were in but then the staff members r allowed 2 post abt u having ur breakdowns is rly telling and they r rly telling on themselves here

it was never abt our dignity

it was abt making sure we couldn't beg friends or family members 2 get us out of there

i hate this so much

sorry if this is more raw than normal im typing while triggered since this is more healthy than hurting my body

please don't try to talk to me directly on this post, i just needed to get my raw feelings out and then after this im probably just gonna cry and have a snack or something

please don't report this post bc of me talking abt my experiences w my own emotions, like i said this is not a threat of self harm, i do this so i don't feel the urge 2 do smth more destructive, sort of like writing in a journal? but this is more acessible 4 me bc it's just a place 4 feelings like this and stuff that triggers me and i can hav ppl online validate my feelings that yeah this stuff isn't okay and it's okay 2 b upset abt it, this is me being responsible and preventing myself from harming myself, bc i hav this blog as a method of getting it all out u guys don't need 2 worry, thought i should clarify given some of the stuff i was talking abt earlier in the post abt having rly raw emotions rn

rn at least? i want this post 2 go fucking viral

i want ppl 2 c how fucked up this is

how medical workers don't c us as ppl

how they think nothing of forcing medicine and "treatments" on us that we don't want

how 2 them we r just an obstacle in their day

just 2 b clear nothing bad is going 2 happen 2 me if this doesn't go viral, like i said, this is just me getting all my feelings out and dumping them onto virtual paper so i don't have them rattling around in my head anymore

whatever happens 2 this post, im just gonna finish this post, hav a good cry or a sad nap and a snack and then a talk with a loved one and im going to then continue my day as normal

this post going viral or not viral would have zero impact on my day, i just right now am having this desperate feeling of wanting to shove this in everyone's face and go "see!? this is how they see us! this isn't okay! can someone do something!? can someone out there force these people to acknowledge the ableism in the medical professionals!? the medical professionals i am sometimes forced to trust with my health as a disabled person! and yet they feel nothing but vile disgust towards me!"

idk, i just feel like this tiktok is a rly good example of the kind of medical ableism and medical abuse me and others like me have been yelling about for ages

okay better now after getting that out, thought i should tell u guys so u don't worry abt me, seen ppl being weird abt ppl emotional posting and now it's made me worried i hav 2 b super careful if u couldn't tell so yeah, better now tho

update: found out how 2 report content so i did that 4 the tiktok, u go 2 the share button and then there's a lil grey looking button w a flag on it 4 any of the rest of u who c this and think it should b reported/taken down

[imaginespazzi]

Alright bestie, second chance bracket now that we’re down to the sweet 16, who you got?

Cos rn i got (and i’m actually mostly using my singular brain cell this time):

Elite 8

SC vs ND (i think Oregon St could upset ND but i hope not)

Texas v Stanford (i could see nc state potentially upsetting stanford but i think stanford holds on)

Colorado vs UCLA (wvu came sooo close to that golden upset, and so in jaylyn i trust to actually get the job done. UCLA and LSU have both seemed a bit shaky to me so this is a toss-up but no way in hell am i gonna choose milky)

USC vs UConn (of course)

Final Four

SC vs Texas (idk, stanford hasn’t given me a lot of confidence lately but i could be wrong!)

UCLA vs UConn (going with ucla marginally since they swept colorado during the regular szn, and huskies restarting that final four streak plus paige reminding everyone that’s still doubting, why she’s the best. Like i love juju but it’s still paige>>>)

National Championship

SC vs UConn

Champion

I want to say UConn, babes, I do but i just cannot see anyone beating SC rn and us even getting to this point with our (lack of) depth would be a heck of an achievement but beating SC is one too many hail marys i think 😭

Ngl though, i kinda don’t wanna see us lose to SC again in the championship game and so a part of me would actually rather us lose in the final 4 if that was the case 😬 (unless we play iowa or lsu then fuck that i’ll take the loss to sc)

I'm scared to predict at this point cause my brackets was in shambles and lowkey you and I are on the same wavelength with most of these but here we go:

Elite 8:

SC vs ND: SC obviously (and I need them to destroy those zionists) and I think Oregon St. could make something happen but I think after the Naismith "snub" (quotes cause I'm 50-50 on this) Hannah is gonna be on one and Oregon St. doesn't have anyone who can stop her.

Texas vs Stanford: Texas because Gonzaga does nothing for me and Stanford v NC-State is gonna be really interesting, but ultimately I don't see how NC-State stops Cam and Kiki.

Iowa vs UCLA: Listen I think Colorado can beat Iowa. I just don't think they can beat the refs+Iowa+the narrative the networks want. The same honestly could be said for LSU-UCLA because the LSU-Iowa rematch is what the NCAA wanted but I think UCLA can overcome that (as opposed to Colorado) because they're a better team and because LSU has been unimpressive to me

UConn vs USC: Baylor does not impress me at all and well the UConn-Duke matchup *pray pray pray* I'mma shut up about it because I'm not in the mood to jinx things

Final 4:

SC vs Stanford: I think the ND vs SC game will be a lot better than the one in Paris but SC is just too much at the end of the day. And again with Stanford-Texas, I could see it go either way but I just don't see Texas stopping Cam-Kiki both

UCLA vs UConn: UCLA is a better team but again there's a narrative and refs and even despite that as we saw last year, it could still be Iowa, but I still think it's gonna be UCLA. USC vs UConn, Juju vs Paige might cancel out but I'd like to think the rest of the UConn team (if they show up) is better than the USC also just who's gonna guard Aaliyah?

National Championship

SC vs UConn: I do actually have Stanford in my bracket but as you said they're kinda not giving me the greatest vibes and well SC is SC. On the other side though, fuck it, in Paige Bueckers we believe. But also, I think this is a much better team than the one that faced UCLA in November. We were figuring things out and the team's morale was really low, I think we'll be much better. Also never underestimate Cori Close's ability to be outcoached especially if it's Geno of all people. A

Champion: I'm not gonna say it but y'all know what I'm thinking. Does it make sense to pick SC? Yes. If you're a betting person, do that. But me I'm here for vibe so once again, fuck it, in Paige Bueckers we believe!

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E45

Rose's Scabbard

Okay so I've learned a lot today.

Also this episode much like the fireworks one made me..

Very uncomfortable. But even more so than that one did.

This episode was just......really fucking sad man.

First off:

None of the gems seemed to like Greg so far (Except Amethyst) but Pearl especially seemed particularly not very fond of him. I kinda didn't think much about that. I just assumed it was because "Greg is a slob & Pearl doesn't like that he's a slob." And honestly given his current state in the show rn, I ain't exactly too fond of the man either. Though the winter episode definitely made me like him more.

But uh....now I'm starting to think Pearl's distaste for him isn't as simple as that. Because Pearl....

This whole episode Pearl was being like....

Okay look we can't word this in any other way: PEARL WAS BEING A MASSIVE HOMO™ THE ENTIRE TIME LIKE GOD DAMN SHE WAS GAY™ AS FUCK ABOUT ROSE THIS EPISODE LIKE WOAH OKAY NOW I GET WHATS GOING ON HERE. PEARL IS A MASSIVE FUCKING LESBIAN™ FOR ROSE & NOW THAT THIS REVEAL HAS HIT. Well to be honest that actually explains a lot. Like, huh, yeah actually this makes sense & explains a lot about why she's like this.

Guys when I called her a Gay™ Disaster™ all the way back in the start I wasn't expecting to actually be correct. I was like half joking when I said that????

I WAS TRYING TO BE FUNNY I WASNT TRYING TO BE A PROPHET HERE WHAT THE FUCK WHY WAS I ACTUALLY CORRECT¿???????¿¿¿¿¿???

I WAS JUST BEING A GOOF WHY DID I END UP HAVING THE GIFT OF PROPHECY???? FUCK OFF APOLLO.

PEARL & ROSE WERE APPARENTLY 'VERY CLOSE FRIENDS'. ROOMMATES OR WHATNOT. SHE EVEN FUCKING BLUSHED & HAD THE QUEER™ EYELASHES. DAMN PEARL I THINK YOU MIGHT BE SUFFERING FROM A CASE OF BEING A FUCKING SIMP, YOU FUCKING LESBIAN™.

MY GAYDAR™ IS OFF THE CHARTS RIGHT NOW. THIS MF IS GAY™ AS FUCK. 💀 THIS IS BEYOND NORMAL GAY™. THIS IS ADVANCED GAY™.

So idk what happened that led to Rose vetting with Greg but yeah, suddenly I'm realizing Pearl disliking Greg is definitely a case of her being....

Well. And excuse me for the vulgar metaphor here but I can't resist.

Pearl is bitter because Greg was the one who got to put the sword in Rose's Scabbard when she wanted to put her sword in there in the first place.

And honestly if I lost out to someone like Greg who....let's face it is kind of a pretty shit dad so far. Yeah I'd be bitter too. It actually makes the fact she's the one trying the hardest to be Steven's mother make more sense & honeslty it makes her even more sympathetic. He's the closest thing she has left of Rose & the fact she's so caring & all just....if Rose had to sacrifice herself for Steven to exist, the fact Pearl isn't resentful towards Steven at all for that is so nice. Because it'd be so easy for the writers to just have her be like that for cheap drama but no, they don't. Thank you for that writers. That's so wise to avoid that bullshit bc I'd hate this episode if they went that direction....look idk how to word this rn but damn Pearl has some serious emotional issues. And Amethyst had some trauma reveal a few episodes ago too....

So if this pattern continues....

Guys I don't even know if I want to find out what fucked up shit Garnet is going through because I feel like hers is probably gonna be the most fucked up of the lot. Like I don't even think I WANT to find out what shit she's carrying in her head. I mean....like, fuck all of these people need therapy & a hug.

Anyways Pearl was definitely being shitty by the halfway mark (I mean what she said to Steven was legit fucked up I ain't gonna lie, like, damn, you said that to a CHILD, Pearl. Holy shit. I get that you're upset about the wife thing but he's literally a child I think he's probably upset about his mom being gone just as much as you are.) but y'know-

Okay quick side note: Amethyst I get that Pearl was being shitty but you have no right to be talking shit about her like you didn't just do some pretty fucked up shit just a couple episodes ago. Neither of y'all are in ANY position to be acting all high & mighty. Pearl just SAID something but you straight up fucking used your transformation magic to torment a man about his dead wife. You don't have any fucking high ground here girl. Garnet is the only one of you that has any room to be acting above it. She hasn't done anything like that so far so she's the only one that gets to talk shit. Sit tf down ma'am.

ahem, anyways Amethyst was being shitty too just a bit ago. And like I said then: when you're that mentally fucked it leads to that kinda behavior. It's not an excuse but it does mean you know there's a legit reason for why they'd act out like this. And it's not entirely their fault that they have a tendency to be that irrational. But Pearl, like Amethyst, you can tell she felt remorse.

Again, the way they resolve it without a drawn out argument...but instead it's just Pearl openly showing her vulnerability & Steven just showing her a sign of affection. No argument. No yelling. Just a genuine moment of sincere emotion. Steven understood. While what she said was horrible, he gets why she said it. They both miss her. But they have eahcother. I am going to fucking sob typing this oh my god.

Yeah this episode made me cry a lot. Absolutely stellar episode. And the ending was just beautiful.

Further cementing the fact that Pearl is my favorite. I can't wait to see how much the show uses her emotional baggage to rip my heart in half & stomp on it mercilessly.

Second best episode of the entire show so far. Only just slightly behind 'On The Run'. (That one just hit me on a more personal level so it still has my heart by the throat.)

[kaylonprimary]

.

thinking in my still half dissociative state about how much i do love the world even though it has given me mostly pain and idk i just hope one day its all going to be worth it and work out. ive been feeling a little better surprisingly lately even with the dissociation so hopefully it sticks.

i keep thinking about how most of my limited memory capacity is used up remembering details about the people i care about. like i could not tell you what happened yesterday but i know what my best friend is doing this week because they told me in a call. i remember all the interests my friends post about and keep them in a brain file for whenever i see anything related. i remember so much about what i love and i wish my brain could store information besides this because it just feels like its pointless when i feel that level of care is rarely reciprocated but id rather be the kind of person who cares too much than the person who is apathetic in friendships. i have had a really hard time lately with my main friend group dissolving and being abandoned by someone i once loved deeply when he got more of an irl life and stopped all attempts at being my friend. i havent heard from him in literal months when we used to talk all day. i still remember everything about him and i cant seem to stop. i used to think i didnt feel much emotion but now i know i feel too much emotion and was just trying to ignore that fact.

im actually not sad rn, i just sound like it, but ive been doing better the past day or so. i just cant stop thinking about how much of my life is dedicated to feeling lonely instead of trying to combat that loneliness, except my version of combatting that will always be “train myself not to be bothered by being alone” rather than actually have hope of fixing it, even though i am still actively trying to fix it and have been for ages, i still dont seem to be making much progress in the interaction department and therefore have little hope of change.

mostly i am just thinking about the loss of that friend and that is what is bothering me so deeply. we once joked about being platonic soulmates but that was the person he used to be. i dont know how to trust people anymore because of this thing, i know that is Dramatic but it really bothers me and hurts. it feels like all love i have is ultimately pointless. it just feels pointless. i have all this adoration and nowhere to put it besides my own stomach. you know. its 7am and i have barely slept.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Just found your tumblr and idk why but I felt like telling you that I'm finishing the second volume of the English edition of svsss and so far I feel that I won't like SJ, I don't get liushen, I don't get LBH's hairdo and too muscular body, I don't get how there are people saying SY doesn't care about LBH... and a lot of popular takes I've seen the fandom having about it.

I think the reason I felt like telling you was actually because you're one of the few people I saw maybe not agreeing with those either? So I confess I feel a little frustrated about the fandom rn, lmao

Welcome anon!

I am... rather picky, to put it mildly about the SVSSS content I consume for its fandom.

I cannot stand many of the popular fanpairs (sorry luishen and cumplane stuff, but get that away from me... or tag it so I can block and remain happy with my day without wishing you can't ever be comfortable in bed again trying to fall asleep because I will curse you myself).

As well as much of the material for fics for Bingqiu and Moshang. It relies on shaving Shen Qingqiu's personality to have undue sympathy and self-esteem issues over "Shen Jiu" and his own existence where he just doesn't CARE if he became Shen Qinqiu because he was determined not to be a vile low empathy person to save his own skin (and Binghe but that OBVIOUSLY doesn't count cause of something something protag halo). Shen Qinghua is just as well made far softer than he actually is... when he is a little scummy rat man in the rain that you don't wanna touch ever. Come ON he made a hetporn harem novel!!! He is incel nerd without thinking he was the incel shut in nerd.

However I suppose my biggest pet-peeve is the way Luo Binghe is treated by fandom itself. I find something distasteful in the way it always makes Luo Binghe either pathetic or annoying to raise up other characters when from Shen Yuan's point of view, he is exasperatingly like a teen girl crying but very endeared to this. He never once hated or felt forced to do anything in regards to his own romance with Luo Binghe as HE was the one to step forward with making what they had no longer platonic as teacher and former student. He has a student kink, Luo Binghe has a teacher kink it is what it is, and they don't exactly care what others may think anymore. Given that Shen Qingqiu states himself if Luo Binghe was really unwelcomed he would follow him wherever. That doesn't sound as anything forced upon him other than anyone that tries to make him choose, at which point his choice is Luo Binghe. Yue Qingyuan at any rate, is the only one he seems to care about that blessing from, and he got it. Luo Binghe is a victim of several abuses over the years, to me, he's all those bits, good and difficult on paper.

Art is subjective and I could care less how it looks normally since I like it or not and can scroll on with my life if I don't or reblog what pretty art I think is pretty. I find the English art inserts endearing as it's very much reminiscent of late 90's and early 00's anime aesthetics. It fits for the world as a whole that PIDW was meant to be.

People will willfully put what is not there for fandom wants, I however, choose to ignore most of it, as I am vastly content with what the author has given me to play with in the playground of canon only.

[forcebookish]

the more i think about how top is treated and how his trauma is completely overlooked the more upset i get. the way they handled the top/boston thing is just kind of gross im sorry. top was literally coerced and assaulted (more than once btw) and no one cares!!!! and they could've done SO MUCH MORE with that storyline. top admitting and realizing what happened to him and mew understanding after his initial anger. that would've been such good character development for both them as a couple and individuals and maybe im giving the viewers too make credit here given their track record but it also would've helped them understand them (especially top) better as well. but instead we get this atom storyline which is just awful and mew's bootleg revenge 2.0. and don't even get me started on how his insomnia is barely touched on. all the other characters even fucking boston get scenes where we are meant to feel bad for them but not top. god maybe im overreacting idk but im just so upset rn.

totally with you, anon. however, i do think that top gets a lot of scenes where the audience is supposed to feel bad for him, tbh those are most of his scenes lol, it's just that the audience is refusing to see it. other than that, yeah it's fucked up how the drama has kind of just... dropped a lot of the stuff that's happened to him. like i defended p'den yesterday when it came to how top was written, but i almost want to take it back now. now i'm thinking maybe i misunderstood the original tweet and if it was really criticizing him or how he's been treated by the narrative. top is a well-rounded, interesting character who has gone through so much and the characters and storyline just keeps kicking him when he's down. i keep thinking that they're building to something, but they just keep leaving stuff out. it's like they've forgotten important beats of his storyline and traded it in for cheap drama. top's gone through fucking harrowing shit and it feels like only his fans give a fuck.

top is assaulted by boston, NO ONE talks about it - he doesn't even BRING IT UP when talking about why he slept with boston. mew clearly regretted burning the drawing (and this is explicitly stated in the book), but that goes nowhere. mew hasn't apologized once for the way that he's treated top since the breakup and doesn't seem to care about his feelings AT ALL he's so preoccupied with his own hurt. everything that top has done for mew hasn't been acknowledged at all. and yet he's the one called selfish? what the fuck?

they better do something new with boeing, because i am TIRED, anon. i'm just as upset as you💔

[sagesskies]

Hii! Been a while!

How has your day been? I hope it's been good so far!

I've been into Angel's recently and in one of the videos I watched about Abaddon the angel of Destruction — it said he is the ruler of the bottomless pit(presumably hell), it made me wonder if Lucifer is just a prince or somehow in someway he's still the king. Abaddon himself is a mystery, since he is never mentioned in the Bible but in another book I completely forgot about, but he used to be described as a place, his name is often used to refer to hell; "The fires of Abaddon"(or something along those lines) being the most popular so far. I like to think Abaddon IS hell, he's both a person and a place - I think his real form is hell itself, and his angel form is just a normal being, but that doesn't explain how he holds the key to hell if he's hell himself, and it's weird to think demons live inside him(creepy way to describe that)

Lucifer on the other hand is well known, fell from grace and all those things I completely forgotten about. But does he really count as the king of hell when Abaddon is the embodiment OF hell and the ruler OF hell, I guess if you put it that way.. he rules over hell but not hell itself?? I don't know how to describe it but, he rules the metaphorical place named hell but not the demon's inside hell???? But if we go with my idea on him being both hell and angel, wouldn't that mean he does both rule hell and hell itself?

I wanted to know your thoughts about this, since we all know Lucifer is the first angel to be thrown out of heaven — but some books did state that Abaddon had been the one to trap Lucifer in hell, and that he owns the key to hell, so wouldn't that count as him being the king of hell?? Idk really, my brain rot rn is just angels! Sorry if this is very long :(

— 🫚 Annon who isn't Christian just fascinated with Demonology and Angels!

🫚 anon, Abaddon is actually referenced in the bible (At least the in the copy that I own: The New American Bible), specifically in Revelations 9:11, as the fifth trumpet, as well as in Job 26:6. What I'd prefer to focus on is the former.

In Revelations, there are 7 trumpets are sounded by 7 angels that are set to cue events that occur during the apocalypse. 7 angels. Based off of this Abaddon is a person. However, that does not mean that Abaddon can't also be a place, just like how Hades can refer to the Greek God, as well the Underworld which he rules over.

Furthermore, he is an angel, not a fallen one, but an angel that continues to serve God, so it would fit what you stated that some book reference that Abaddon has the keys to hell, which would have been presumably given to him by God created to punish demons and fallen angels. (he is also the one to release the scorpions that torture whoever doesn't have the seal of God: keynote: torture not kill. This is important because God forbids murder, thus by abiding by this, Abaddon continues to serve and listen to God.)

Now, think of what hell is. It is the home of demons and sinners. But that is where they are sent as punishment by God. That is where Satan and all the fallen angels are trapped. Satan may rule over Hell, but it is just as much his prison as it is the sinners.

So the way I interpret this is that Abaddon is not so much a ruler over Hell, but something more like a prison warden.

[nixnephili]

Just Fyodor notes:

Fyodor juggles between 2 seemingly conflicting things at the same time.

-he belives all abilities are sin/ he is an ability user himself

-What he loses from psychologically juggling this truth and this belief is his ability to tolerate ambivalence (the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.) and allow himself to sit with a sense of gray.

He doesn't have to either ignore his destructive ability or label said ability as the core problem. His ability isn't always going to be the problem that affects his life, as his ability is indeed a very drastic one. Most of the time we see Fyodor, his actions have nothing to do with his ability (which is supposedly the sin) but it is very much his own fault he behaves and lives the way he does. Of course to the normal person this is a severely problematic life- Fyodor avoids his emotional shortcomings by making a fictional ideal/ role for him to follow or play. This delusion is his own coping mechanism to avoid having to face his repressed thoughts and feelings, his emotions and ability- related trauma.

He copes by distracting himself with made up goals, ambitions, beliefs and motives.

There is maybe a middle ground between hating his ability and carrying himself just as the product of his murderous ability.

Fyodor struggles to reason like that, it's too ambiguous for him. It's easier to think in black and white than it is in shades of gray.

This is made clear quite often, he cannot compromise. He doesn't know how..

Karma is the absolute best example of this, I think.

Fyodor follows his coping mechanism to the point that he ignores what is outside of it. Karma was outside of it.

Karma was neither an ability user nor was he generally guilty, as he was just a child fallen victim to an ability.

This was where Fyodor's mind found no middle ground. No compromise where he spares Karma and takes the boy with him, for example.

Black/ Gray / White = he kills Karma/ he spares Karma BUT takes him in/ he spares Karma and lets him be free.

Unfortunately so Fyodor had to cover up all the information he had just given the boy, so instead of finding the grey space in the middle- he reverted to Black. More often than not it is within our coping mechanism where we feel safe. Even if it is destructive.

So he kills Karma, a testament to his avoidance, noticeable in most killers = in order to avoid responsibility, emotional attachment, consequence, avoid thinking about it.

-Fyodor might also use his religious delusion and God complex in BSD to separate himself from the thing that brought him negative emotions and no doubt a lot of hurt in the past.

It's his unhealthy way of coping with how he is part of the thing that hurt him in the past, he cannot emotionally manage that so he cuts himself off from ability users by claiming himself to be higher - this is where narcissism comes in. A deep need to be above his demons (abilities/ ability users) maybe?

Or maybe he's just insane and I'm giving him too much credit here lol

This is all just me blabbering don't take it too seriously idk-

I'm in a bad mental state rn, that's why I got to writing shit

-Nix🌙

Ps: Day 19 is almost done