#get blindsided. because it is. OOF.

[endlesslyhyperfixating]

This Is What You Wanted, Right? – SydCarmy & Subtext

Every time Carmy says “This is what you wanted, right?” to Sydney, it feels like Storer and Calo are straight-up taunting us. Like, "Yeah, you wanted this dynamic? This push-and-pull? This agonizingly slow burn? Well, buckle up." They know exactly what they’re doing.

LET ME EXPLAIN

Season 1, Episode 3: "Brigade"

This is the first time Carmy drops the phrase, and it sets the tone for their entire relationship. He’s trying to implement the brigade system, but Sydney’s not on board with how rigid and intense it is. Their exchange goes:

Carmy: "You told me that's what you wanted."

Sydney:"No. I-I said I wanted more to do. I didn't say I wanna run a Russian gymnastics program."

Right away, it’s clear—Sydney asked for something, and Carmy, in typical Carmy fashion, took it and ran with it to an extreme. But the way he phrases it? It’s not just about the brigade system. It’s a challenge. You wanted to be here, didn’t you? You wanted to work with me? And that’s something we see again and again: Sydney choosing to be in Carmy’s orbit, even when it’s a lot.

This is a great starting point for their relationship because it shows that in order for them to be on the same page they have to jump through a few hurdles or misunderstanding and miscommunication first. They will have many obstacles to face before really hearing each other, and for things (between them) to work "the way I think we both want it to work."

Hello. So much subtext in almost every line between these two it makes me CRAZY.

Season 1, Episode 7: "Review"

Now, things get even more intense. The kitchen is a disaster, tensions are at an all-time high, and Carmy—who is spiraling under the weight of it all—snaps at Sydney:

Carmy: "This is what you wanted, right?"

It’s not a genuine question. It’s a LOADED one. There’s frustration, maybe even resentment, but beneath that? There’s an understanding. Sydney wanted something—more responsibility, more control, a partnership with Carmy—and now she’s feeling the full weight of it.

He told her that her dish wasn't ready. — he wasn't ready for her. And because she put herself out there, and was enjoyed and appreciated by someone else it stings in a different way for him, hearing the review of her superb risotto dish. Hence his frustration towards the pre-order option being left open over night only being excelled due to this.

And this moment is key because it isn’t just about work and the frustrations there, but It’s about them. Their dynamic. Their push and pull.

Season 2, Episode 8: "Bolognese"

This one right here is such a quietly brutal moment. Sydney’s pissed because Carmy’s been running ideas by Claire—who, at this point, is basically in the periphery of everything going on with the restaurant—and it’s clear Sydney feels totally blindsided. So she says:

Sydney: "–So, I should I also send my revised COGS to your girlfriend?"

Carmy: "You don't need to send anything—she's not my girlfriend."

Sydney: "So she's not even your girlfriend."

Carmy: "Right."

Sydney: "And we're, like, arranging this menu—"

Carmy: "She's not arranging anything and she's not looking at the menu—this is what you wanted originally and that is what I'm giving you–"

That line? Oof. He says it AGAIN. And it hits different this time. There’s this weird bitterness to it, like he’s using her own ambition against her to justify why he’s messing things up. It’s defensive, but it’s also exposing—because if it really was “what she wanted,” why does he sound so wounded? Why is she so hurt? It’s not just about logistics. It's not even about Claire, really. It’s about the rift between them.

It's about Carmy choosing to confide in someone else. It’s about Sydney realizing that the “partnership” she thought they were building isn’t quite what she thought it was. And again, choice comes back—choosing each other, or not.

It's straight up saying all these people want is a bit(or all) of each other. Sydney doesn't want to share his focus, just as Carmen wants all of hers.

This, (as far as I know/remember) is the last time he directly says this exact phrase to her. From season one to two it was a challenge to her. A challenge for their relationship. "This is what you wanted?" Almost always checking in with her, too.

It's like saying, hey, yeah, we know the pressure's a lot, and often you feel like throwing a brick in my face, but it's what you chose. It's what you want.

Storer Knows Exactly What He's Doing

The writers love their little winks at the audience, and this phrase? It’s definitely one of them. Every time Carmy says "This is what you wanted” to Sydney, it’s like the show is turning to us, the SydCarmy truthers, and saying:

"This is what you wanted, right?"

A relationship that’s layered, complicated, built on mutual ambition and unspoken tension? A connection that’s frustratingly slow, where every tiny shift feels monumental? The show is teasing us, making us earn whatever payoff is coming. (And it is.)

And the proof that this is all intentional? Fast-forward to Season 3, Episode 1, when Sydney asks why Carmy is changing everything, and he responds with:

"So I can push you, and you can push me."

It’s all connected. From "You wanted to work here, right?” to “This is what you wanted, right?” to “So I can push you, and you can push me.” It’s all part of the same conversation. A question of choice. Of whether they’ll keep choosing each other, through the chaos, through the pressure, through everything. Despite the obstacles, despite the slow realization, they keep coming back to each other. They're gonna keep coming back to each other.

Because we know that everything in this show is purposeful. It's meaningful. And these significant repeating lines are powerful tools to hint and push us towards what they're working for. It's a question of how long can they keep this up.

And we already know the answer.

So yeah, it’s going to be slow. It’s going to be maddening. But this is what we wanted, right?

[ramblingroommate]

Part 3 (part 1 & part 2)

Only his fourth month on the job? Oh he’s new new, that’s interesting! And explains why he’s taking this so bad, poor baby

I have to say this also puts that whole stealing the truck thing in a different context. From the way they were talking I was under the impression he had a long history of doing things like that (like he had been working with them for a year or two), but he just started working there so it probably was the first time he did something so dumb. He fucked up once Bobby let it slide, he did it a second time he fired him. Oh my god he got fired after four months on the job

It was deserved but still. It also makes sense that he was so sorry about everything and said he realized in that moment how much he cared for the job.

Oh baby no don’t say that. Yikes.

He’s taking the guy’s death so hard and it’s clear he’s angry because he wishes he could have saved him, but going to his funeral and telling his sister it’s his own fault he died that’s just… oof

Yeaaah, that’s pretty much what I expected after what Buck said. Still hurts tho

This episode has been brutal on Buck

I LOVE how Bobby handled this. He knew immediately what was off but didn’t address it while on the job and with a person’s life on the line. Too often this kind of shows do exactly that to up the tension, but it always takes me out. This reaction just feels more realistic to me.

And now they address it! Love it.

Also “I know I let you down”? They really want me to feel for Buck, huh? Cause it’s working

LOVE this scene where they communicate without talking. I’m actually really liking this episode in general! It already feels like a step up from the first one.

It probably has to do with the much more realistic calls and discussions they are having, they’re more my cup of tea

Buck tried out for the Navy SEALs, interesting tidbit of backstory. I like when info get sprinkled in like this, instead of being dumped all at the same time when a storyline requires it.

Also really liked the explanation of something as horrifically tough as the navy seals giving him trouble not for the physical torture of it all but because of the emotional repression required

If Buck is one thing it is a caring person who takes things at heart. Makes sense he dropped out because he couldn’t be just a machine

This is Buck’s character in a nutshell. Wanting to be cool and tough yes, but most of all wanting to help.

I have to say it’s interesting to see which characters they are focusing on and developing more in these first two episode. Bobby is probably number one, closely followed by Buck and Abby. Maybe it’s all those Bs in their names lol

Talking about going to therapy after a traumatic event? In a tv drama? IS THIS A FUCKING MIRACLE?

I’m shocked, these shows -almost every show actually- usually pretend they’ve never heard of therapy so they can keep their characters traumatized and the tension high

You and most men, honey. It’s cultural upbringing

Also, that’s an extremely attractive therapist… are they going to get together later down the line? I hope not

Wait what? We just… cut away?

Alright, I get it. They’re going back and forth between Buck’s therapy and Athena and her husband’s.

I got really confused there for a moment lol

So her main grievance is that Michael made her feel like a fool and not that he lied to her for decades.

….

Actually, I love that lol. It makes sense with her character: as a proud black woman on the force, she probably has had to use her confidence as a shield for quite a long time. The last thing she wants is show everyone that she was blindsided and “fooled” by her own husband

Oww that’s actually really sweet. When she’s out of her uniform she shows a much more compassionate side. I like that the show is drawing this difference very clearly

It also makes the whole “I always knew you were gay” trope (which I usually hate) a little bit better in this case

And we’re back with Buck! I have to say I’m not loving this back and forth, I forget what they were talking about by the time we switch back. The talks on their own are really well done which is why I don’t want to lose any pieces

This also makes more sense: they have lost people since Buck joined but it was more along the lines of “we got there and there was nothing we could do”. Now that I think about it didn’t a woman jump in the first episode? But in that case Buck wasn’t directly involved. This was the first time they got there in time, he got involved, did everything right and the guy still died. It probably feels very unfair (like “I did everything right, why didn’t he do his part?”)

Okay Michael has my attention now! I didn’t really care about him in the first episode, I don’t know why. He just felt kinda… off? His behavior just came off as weird to me. Too forcefully happy and positive. It’s okay to be happy because you finally feel comfortable enough coming out, but you’re also an adult and know this change won’t be easy on your children right away and might take some time getting used to. He was acting like he expected everyone to be over the moon for him and celebrate right away (I understand wanting to be accepted but you’re basically telling your children their parents are getting a divorce, pump the brakes).

This conversation makes me like him a lot more tho, peels back that mask of forced optimism and reveals some of his hardships

Also he has a boyfriend!!! Things get spicy

I was wondering when we would get here! Buck definitely blames him which is a natural response/defense mechanism to that kind of traumatic event. It’s also true that there may be a million different reasons why that guy decided to let go and we’ll never truly know. Sometimes not knowing is what makes us get stuck, prevents us from moving on. But we do need to move on anyway. I wonder how they’ll go about this

…

This is not what I was expecting

And now they’re having sex… why do you do this to me? It was going so well, I actually let myself hope they wouldn’t do this. It was an empty dream, if there is a young attractive woman in a show then she’s going to have sex, no matter how unprofessional

“I feel so much better” yeah because you used sex to feel better in the moment and avoid taking a deeper look at the underlying problem.

Is this trying to hint again at Buck being a possible sex addict? I’m still confused about that

Is the rope attached to the guy in the show or is that for the stunt and was left in?

It’s not present in the next scene so definitely a stunt rope that wasn’t hidden! I like when I can catch small mistakes in shows

Also this whole scene was hilarious

I love Bobby’s approach to the whole situation. The first time he noticed Buck’s hesitation he didn’t push, talked to him privately and gently, recommended he talk to a therapist and now he starts to push him (still gently) to get over his fear. Loving Bobby’s character so far

Aaaaand I need to make a part 4 because I reached the pics limit 🥲

Will definitely need to change some things around for next episode so I don’t do so many parts

[spindle-girl]

Daybreak 1.4

Fight fight fight fight!

I wanted to see something more than just his feet, but as I started to raise my eyes, looking through the hair that had come loose from my braid, my eyes were forced down, until they were staring at the road.  I heard the scrape of another person’s feet as they climbed down from the truck to the street.

this is going to be a fun power. hello August Prince 2.0

Drive away, I thought, willing Jasper to think the same.  Be okay, drive away.  Leave me.

don't be ridiculous Victoria they're not going to--

I heard the chugging of the bus, the battered engine protesting as the vehicle started to reverse, pulling away.

annnd nevermind. i guess it is five capes they're staring down. i wouldn't be confident in their chances if it was just one, but still. kinda sucks for her to be left behind like that

“Plans change,” Lord of Loss said.  “You’ll learn that sooner or later.  Our clients hired us to capture an ex-villain who made a bystander lose her child.  I don’t think they’d be pleased if we let another bystander get hurt while we carry out the task.”

i thought this was going to turn into a hostage taking. i guess it still might. is the boss Teacher? Rain's cluster?

I made myself be calm.  I exhaled slowly, and the exhalation came out as a shudder.  It wasn’t because I was hurt, but because the memories were close to the surface.

oof

“Yep.  Mostly unharmed.  The woman who lost her kid wants to have words with her.  Shout at her, make her feel bad.  She and some others paid a lot of money to make it happen.  Then we drop her back off somewhere near here and drive off.”

i had something written up for this about how bad the plan was but then three paragraphs later it turns out Blindside is lying here so back to Teacher or Cradle i think his name is

The volume of it was such that I only barely heard Blindside’s exclamation of pain.  My ears rang- but the gun had to have been right next to the villain mercenary’s ear.

cool!

Awe.  Catch them on an emotional level.

pretty sure this would just register as fear from Blindside, right? awe is for allies/friendlies, fear is for enemies

I liked that it was the first thing he’d asked.  Gilpatrick’s five pound of gun speech taken to heart.  Less than five pounds of weaponry, more than fifteen pounds of protection, twenty five pounds of support and problem solving.  Jasper’s first thoughts were on the latter.  Those were supposed to be the priorities, the ratios.

i'm not sure those two things correlate here Victoria. he saw you get thrown out of a moving vehicle then get in a fight with a supervillain, are you okay is the typical response. i also don't like Gilpatrick so that may be coloring things

“I’m a good guy too,” Mar said. “Stay put,” I said, firm.

lol

End Thoughts:

so Blindside wasn't exactly August Prince 2.0, but i liked the gun solution Victoria came up with. a bit confused on how the impromptu flail worked, that still seems like a direct attack, but i'm assuming that's just power specifics

[im-his-druidess]

Can you write plz headcannons or a story about being Rotti Largo’s secretary in a secret relationship with Luigi?? with smut ofc🖤Thank you so much

Oof. What a predicament that would be 😆

Honestly Rotti would know about the secret relationship early on, but decides to stay quiet. Mostly out of curiosity to see how long the "secret" lasts and if one of you slip up, but also because Luigi's temper has calmed a bit since you two became a thing and is relieved at the lessening bad publicity Luigi would normally bring.

Luigi would shower you with gifts in secret, giving you passing lingering touches when you walk past him, and he would make sure to attend every function his father throws just so he can watch you from afar.

Would definitely visit his father more just so he can see you and possibly talk to you for a few fleeting moments in public.

Expect to be called into Luigi's office for a "meeting" only to be completely railed on his desk with his hand over your mouth. Grunting in your ear how much he misses you and your pussy the entire time. He would randomly pull you into a storage closet to push you down on your knees, hissing at you to be quiet while unbuckling his belt, and would also drag you to his car so he can fuck you there on your lunch break.

Would also sneak into your home or sneak you into his home. All in an effort to be with you without paparazzi or his father finding out about you two. Those times you will not be leaving the bed anytime soon. All his sexual, and regular tbh, frustrations would be released on you and there has been a time or two where you had to call out the following day because you could barely walk.

Luigi is stupidly proud of those days. Completely smug when he calls you to "check on you" and listens with a smile as you yell at him. Blaming him for the frozen ice pack you have in-between your legs to help with the tenderness.

He would cheekily send you "get well" flowers.

Despite him sneaking around both Rotti and Amber know what's going on, but keep their mouth shut because Luigi is stabbing less and his temper is being somewhat controlled.

Pavi is the last to find out and is completely blindsided.

[madrone33]

I finally listened to Hadestown! 🎉

Starting with the Original Cast Recording, ‘cause might as well do it in release order. Loved it! Groovy music. Snickered. Cried. Wrote down my reaction as I went, so if you're chill with rambled thoughts and observations, here you go lol

(Soz for any typos, I was touch typing most of the time, and I've edited it but probs missed stuff)

Road to Hell (Live)

Oh it’s JAZZY. Huh. Didn't expect that, but I am living.

I like how at the start they’re simulating a train’s chugging.

Those call and response harmonies tho *chef's kiss*

Kinda reminds me of Udad.

Oh that’s Hermes!

“It’s a sad song” he says, while singing the boppiest of bops.

I like that “suitcase full of summertime” line.

“About someone... who tries.” Oho, we’re gettin into it now! *rubs hands together*

Also, I completely get now why Jorge said that first draft of EPIC: The Musical Hermes was like Hadestown.

Livin' It Up on Top (Live)

That’s a smooth transition👌

Persephone’s voice is really cool. Kinda rough texture?

Oh I didn’t realise Persephone and Hades would be having a turbulent relationship in this.

Oooh Orpheus’ voice is smooth.

They’re all so happy huh. Welp, you know there’s gonna be a crash in their future.

Orpheus seems really grateful for Persephone’s... graciousness? When he said that she'll always fill their cups and they'll raise them to her and stuff. Theory: either she’ll have a soft spot for him later, or he’ll feel betrayed and blindsided by the more cold side of her later.

All I've Ever Known (Live)

I don’t know anything about Eurydice, but is this her song?

Ah yeah Orpheus is singing, so it must be.

Oop. Foreshadowing.

Way Down Hadestown (Live)

Hermes is back!

“Bored to death” HA

“Graveyard” wow the puns/metaphors are going hard XD

I can’t tell who’s singing lmao. This is like when I listened to Hamilton for the first time. I’ll need lyrics, or familiarity RIP

The coins as the percussion/tambourine is a nice touch.

Hades’ voice is DEEP.

They haven’t mentioned gods yet, I don’t think? Just the Fates, right? It sounds more like a mining operation metaphor for mythos right now, hmm.

Epic II (Live)

King of diamonds and spades - like the playing card suits, but also like the mining operation.

It’s the La la la la thing from Wolfy’s animatic! Almost. A different rendition - I bet I'll hear that later 👀

Why is it called Epic II? Where’s 1? Am I missing something?

Chant (Live)

Oh they’re doing overlapping meodies!!

Ah wait this is Eurydice now, gotta go back a few seconds to catch that. I keep getting her mixed up with Persephone 😅

Oh now we’ve got Eurydice and Orpheus relationship troubles? Huh, I kinda assumed they’d be the perfect couple till her death.

And a semi callback to her song, nice.

Hay Little Songbird (Live)

DAMN his voice is deep!

Is this Eurydice??

Is- Is Hades seducing her? To work for him of smth? Ummm.

Not the canary!

That shaker sounds like a rattlesnake, and it does not bode well for a little bird.

When the Chips are Down (Live)

Oh hey I was right! It is a metaphorical rattlesnake!

Does she choose to go to the Underworld of her own volition? I thought she like- died.

Gone I'm Gone (Live)

She does??

Ouch. She sounds so resigned.

Is this a metaphor for her starving to death? Oof.

The harmonies!!

Wait for Me (Live)

“Six feet under” oh yep.

“Lay low, stay outta sight” - getting Hamilton's Stay Alive vibes.

“Don’t look back” ah. FORESHADOWING.

Ohhh the River Styx being a high wall is so smart!

“And don’t look no one in the eye” I must be too deep in the Odyssey related fandoms, because I'm seeing puns where there are none lmao

The HARMONIES!

Poor Orpheus, but I mean, he was kinda being a bit… naive? If he didn’t prepare for winter and just went off in his own head to make songs?

Why We Build the Wall (Live)

Free from who?

Enemy? 👀

(Yes, I'm aware I'm being led into asking all the questions he wants me to ask, but in my defence, it's very effective.)

Oh huh. Wasn't expecting it to be poverty, tho maybe I should've.

Him calling them “My children” plus the chanting is uh. Why does this sound like cult propaganda?

His voice sounds like the Ozymandias poem guy.

Also giving Frollo “She ran, I pursued” vocal vibes.

“Behind closed doors” - ominous.

Ha! Ok nice subversion.

Our Lady of the Underground (Live)

Persepone is a drug dealer XD

That’s a strange note on “there’s a crack in the wall”

Oh no, am I supposed to remember all these band member names? *crying*

Way Down Hadestown II (Live)

Bringing back motifs I see.

The pickaxes as percussion is cool.

Oop, Eurydice is getting a bit of a wake up call.

Chant II (Live)

Ooooh does the ‘backdoor’ Hermes meant, mean that Orpheus doesn’t have to ‘die’ to get there? ‘Cause he didn’t sign anything, which is a metaphor for him not actually being dead in the myth, so he can still leave.

“Hungry for the underworld” - the pomegranate?

And now Eurydice and Orpheus are singing half the La la la la tune each as if to each other from across the Underworld!

Ooh I LIKE those slant rhymes! "Young man, you can strum your lyre, I have strung the world in wire."

Oh this is where Orpheus sings his plea!! I know this is a thing because of Udad's Underworld Blues lol.

Epic III (Live)

The harmonies 🥺

Oh! It’s that part from Wolfy's animatic :O

I’m tearing up bro.

Just thinking that Eurydice was so upset with Orpheus for focusing on writing his song about Hades and Persephone, but it's that very song that is giving him a chance to sway Hades' mind. But on the other hand, if he'd focused less on the song, he never would've had to use it, y'know?

Word to the Wise (Live)

Ha the Fates(?) doing Hades’ inner monologue like, yeah bro u screwed yourself.

Uh oh this is probs where Hades comes up with the ultimatum. Wait no don't-

His Kiss the Riot (Live)

Those strings are creepy.

Belladonna? Oh the poisonous flower.

Did he call Orpheus the Jack of Hearts?

That acordian is awesome.

Fuck, I knew it.

He sounds like the guy who does the creepily ominous monologue in Micheal Jackson's Thriller.

Promises (Live)

Oh huh. It’s my theory from the 2nd song but it's Eurydice feeling betrayed that the world isn't always plentiful and not Orpheus?

Those strings are gorgeous!

Oh! A duet!

When the couple actually works out their shit:

“I do” omgggg!

KEEP WALKING. DONT LOOK BACK.

Wait for Me II (Live)

Aww that’s nice. Persephone and Hades are gonna try too!

Oh no not the “wait” like in Hurricane-

Doubt Come In (Live)

Oh noooooo

KEEP GOING. JUST KEEP GOING. SHE’S WITH YOU

OH NOOOO DON’T FALTER

LISTEN TO HER! HOLD ON! KEEP GOING!

... Oh god

Road to Hell II (Live)

NO THERE'S A FUCKING AD

Hermes sounds so sad but resigned. Like, 'Oh well. I knew it would turn out like this, but I'd hoped.' Which like. SAME.

The instruments stripped away so it's only silence and one voice is so good.

I can just imagine Orpheus collapsed shell shocked on stage as Hermes not unkindly pushes him to go on.

That reprise and ending is so fucking good AHHH omg no regrets. Some regrets. Whatever, it was good.

... Time to listen to it again with lyrics :D

And then I'm gonna listen to the Original Broadway Cast Recording!

[sugar-omi]

Saw your last ask about the eloping and then was just thinking if the MC left with Mr. Wedding planner considering some of his lines in the DLC and the Taylor Swift song (and I am so sorry Cove I love you too but oof this went straight to my brain from all the angst and wanting on both sides)

ahhhh im,,, assuming youre thinking what im thinking n that is MC leaving cove to be w baxter bc that angsty idea came into my mind in the middle of writing that request and i have some ideas on it :(( listen to this playlist for the full effect 👍👍 ik a lot more songs i could add but i left it w olivia rodrigo n conan gray

tags : Angst (with happy ending for cove lol), (emotional) cheating, breaking up, your family n friends ar upset w you to say the least, your fam and friends goes low/no contact

synopsis : you leave cove to be with baxter, this is how everyone reacts.

[this is based off this post: "eloping with baxter", where alternatively you leave cove for baxter.]

*edited because i forgot to add derek's reaction.

please break it off before the wedding. if you leave him at the alter, cove would be thoroughly destroyed and your immediate family would prbly end up disowning you and/or going very low contact.

breaking off the engagement was and is a really hard thing, but you do it anyway to be with baxter

i wanna touch on how your family n friends reacts to the break up first...

well lets just leave it at cove's parents don't talk to you anymore and you are not welcome even near their house

in fact cliff even moves out of sunset bird because he's so distraught and if cove comes to visit, which he does and even moves in with his dad, he sees how sad cove is and it kills him

he regrets ever moving to sunset bird and asking you to be his friend.

cliff never forgives himself for this, even though it isn't his fault, he feels like it is and even if (and when) cove gets over this betrayal, cliff hates that this happened anyway.

cliff doesn't send you any text, he just blocks you

but if you send a text before he can do so, which is possible since he's busy comforting his son

then he responds like this..

"please don't text this number anymore. and leave my son alone. you've really betrayed him.. me too. i thought you were a good person y/n. i hope you're happy with him"

kyra leaves you a very scornful message and then blocks you

she refuses to waste her breathe or time on someone who hurt her baby

she starts by saying how much she loved you and everything you did for cove, but ends it with how she can never forgive you for leaving cove like this

"don't bother apologizing. everyone had their faith in you to love and take care of cove but you've really blindsided him. you're no longer family to us, leave us alone."

your family is very disappointed

even though they don't cut you off, you're distant and if you marry baxter, they don't come celebrate with you

your mom is surprisingly very tender about it and she is the one who misses you the most

she cries over your pictures when you were growing up, and when everything was perfect

she knows you're an adult and things happen, this is the way the cookie crumbles sometimes but the holden's were like family too and everything is just hard

she can't even look at cove when she sees him

once she even broke down crying in front of him, she could see the dark circles under his eyes and yet he still smiled at her and gave his best "hello"

cove ends up comforting her in the middle of the grocery store parking lot...

she doesn't leave the house for awhile. she's so ashamed and embarrassed because she can hear the whispers of the townsfolk

"i wish they were kids again..."

your ma calls to yell at you.

ma doesn't ever get mad, if anything mom was the "bad cop" growing up and did most the iron fisting

but your ma can't believe you'd do this. she understands that sometimes you fall out of love with someone or have deeper feelings for someone else but.. you knew cove for 15 years and you leave for someone like baxter, who hurt you?

shes just blinded with rage and sadness, even thought she's yelling she ends up crying

she tells you not to come around for awhile, she can't bare to look at you and look at cliff (and cove) the next day

"please don't bother coming home, you're not welcome here for the foreseeable future. i thought we raised you better than this."

your sister doesn't know what to do

she never expected this from you

she hugs you while you cry, you're still her sibling but she also can't forgive you so easily

she and cove weren't close, but definitely closer than baxter and she saw how much he loved you. and she sees how much he's hurting, as he's slowly gathering all his stuff out of your shared house.

she helps him pack his stuff and gives him a hug, lets him cry and tells cove that he's always been like family, and will always be

she watches him cry in his car before finally driving off and suddenly liz is so mad

all this upset and upheaval for what? a traumatized, flirty victorian-emo man who stayed for a summer and told you to fuck off and then came back 5 years later?

she doesn't yell, but between the quiet and half empty house, liz scolds you and flies back home the same night...

"i love you but i can't believe you threw this all away for someone you knew for ONE summer 5 years ago... i'm so disappointed in you."

lee is the one who comforts you the most when you cry

but you can see the disappointment in her eyes

she calls you a lot less, and she doesn't scream in excitement at you anymore. especially if you're with him.

one night, she even whispers into the dark room, having thrown a blanket over you and thinking you are asleep.

"i thought you were better than this..."

your friends are so surprised

they never saw this coming at all

im (not) sorry to say but you are now friendless :)

miranda is the one with the greatest fury

she leaves several voice messages where she is yelling and cussing you out...

"lose my number! i can't believe you'd leave cove for your wedding planner! someone who hurt you 5 fucking years ago!" "you need to get a grip on reality if you think you're gonna live happily ever after. screw you, you-"

terry is with miranda at the time so she cut off the last message before she could share her new nicknames for you

terry's disappointment is immeasurable.

he tries texting you and asking whats going on before he asks you to meet him for coffee

thats the last time you see him before he sends you on last text...

"i hope you're happy y/n... i really cherished our friendship but i can't trust someone who did this to their partner and one of my best buddies... goodbye."

derek is ready to fly over to cove immediately, and he does.

derek helps cliff get cove settled and calmed down, he even makes dinner while cliff helps cove at least get a grip on reality again...

"i'm so surprised you did this y/n... i thought i knew you better but i guess not... listen, i gotta finish dinner, cove hasn't eaten in a couple days. i'm sorry but cove is my best friend, i hope you're happier now.. goodbye."

cove is ruined, to say the least.

somehow he expected it though..

you were dating cove when baxter came that summer, but he saw how you looked at him... it was with a sense of longing. he supposes it was only a matter of time before you decided you wanted a taste of baxter ward, he just hoped it would never come...

you dated baxter that summer, and he saw how distraught you were when he left you so brutually.. cove thought you really loved him, that you finally got over baxter. but apparently he was wrong, you were just patching your wounds until baxter could put you back together...

you never dated baxter, but cove saw how you looked at him with longing and cove always wished you would look at him like that. i guess you just turned your eyes to him until you could finally have the one you wanted...

cove loved you so much, and now that you've broken up he feels like he'll never recover

cove's personality does a whole 180

if he was "warm", he's not anymore. he can't bring himself to smile and laugh and socialize when his chest feels so hollow yet like he's been stabbed with pins and needles...

if he was already "cold", i need you to imagine him being even colder...

he still says his "please and thank you"'s whenever its necessary, but anything other than a hum when affirming to the cashier that he found his groceries okay

or telling the fast food worker what he wants to eat, which he usually orders online in that case, then he doesn't really talk too much

everyone can see how distraught he is even though he tries to distract himself

he cooks meals from scratch, he even learns how to make bread just to keep his mind away from it all

he tries to surf or look for shells but it just ends up hurting more because he as so many memories of those things with you

his whole childhood was with you... you gave him a childhood and you're the reason he enjoyed life so much, you made him so happy...

cove really tries to keep his head above water but even with the love and care from his parents, he's drowning...

its like when he was a little kid all over again but this time he's the one going through the break up

sometimes he snaps at his dad to please leave him alone and he runs off to the guest room crying.

he's so overwhelmed, overstimulated in every way and hurt.

he feels like he'll never recover from this one

when he does "get better", its still a total change from who he used to be

he definitely keeps his friend circle tight and dating isnt even on the table, and wont be for a long time.

fuck it probably takes him another 15 years to get over you.

all he knew for the last 15 years of his life was you, and now he has to do without you so its hard.

some days he falls apart again, because things are so much harder now that he has to take care of himself in every way possible

you reopened his trust and abandonment issues...

he has a date with olivia rodrigo and conan gray (see above for playlist)

when everyone finds out you eloped with baxter they lose their fucking minds

your ma doesn't even text or call you. you can't even hear her in the background when your mom calls because she can't believe you'd elope to him after all this, no matter how much time goes by...

your mom feels hurt again. it just makes everything so real and she feels sick thinking that baxter is now her son-in-law

your sister calls to yell at you. its less than a 5 minute phone call, she just can't believe you married him...

lee doesn't bother sending any congratulations, doesn't even like your pictures on social media. the next time she texts you she blames it on work, and thoroughly avoids talking about baxter

you better hope miranda and derek don't see it.

derek was certainly the most peaceful when the break up happened, but he would definitely unblock you just to tell you how disappointed he is and he definitely cusses at you.

""i can't believe we were ever friends.""

terry is angry too, but he cries more than anything

he misses having all of you together, this just reopens the wound of how things turned out...

if and when cove finally sees or hears the news, if this happened soon after your breakup he would lose his shit.

if you elope soon after breaking up: it takes everything for him not to throw his phone.

he definitely goes to the gym for a bit to work out some energy. he's so sad but most of all he's angry

that should've been you getting married but you're with him instead.

if you elope later after breaking up: it hurts for awhile. but it doesn't tear him up as long as it did when you broke up

but the first night he does look at your smiling face and he misses you.

in the morning he's talking to his dad and he does realize that its better like this

that you just decided that baxter had everything you needed, and its not cove's fault

he hopes you're happy with yourself

unfortunately, this isn't a bad bone in cove's body to wish you ill.

but he does hope you aren't as happy with baxter as you were with him <3

if he runs into you for any reason, maybe because your moms finally let you come over or you happen to be in town or something

cove smiles at you...

it's unsettling

especially since this is the first time you've seen him since the breakup and its been years

you start talking a bit, you with very big eyes and a shaky voice

cove used to be so sensitive but now that he's in front of you again he seems so unaffected...

"y/n." "y-yes?" your heart is jumping in your chest... "i hope you're happy now." you pause, looking down and twisting your wedding band on your finger. "i dont know... some days i'm happy enough, but most days i.. i think about the what if's...." cove nods. somehow he feels satisfied hearing that, but he'd never admit it. "well i hope you can get over it, you made your decision so you need to make it work. goodbye y/n..."

in the end cove is so much stronger, of course he's still vulnerable with people, he's still a crybaby but the walls he's built around himself are high and it took a lot of therapy for him to get over the betrayal

when cove does start dating again and if he gets married especially, your mom's are in the pictures...

he looks so happy, so does cliff and kyra

if your mom's are in the pictures, especially the wedding pictures, it saddens you because you have no pictures of your family with baxter, it doesn't matter how many years go by.

hopefully you're happy with your decision <3

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Joe always make me think of the Kelsea Ballerini lyric: were you blindsided or were you just blind?

Whether it was intentional or just oblivious, he was not picking up what she was putting down but still seems somewhat surprised that she actually walked away.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah Joever immediately made me think of Rolling Up the Welcome Mat and specifically that line.

And also: For a while the shoe fit, but then I outgrew it. (Staying only made me real good at pretend, and I hope I never leave me again… Oof.)

I do agree that he was probably surprised she actually left for good. I get the impression that it was a lobster-boiling-in-a-pot situation (for both of them). Things didn’t go from great to bleak overnight; issues piled up over the years and because like I think most women in heteronormative relationships, Taylor bore the brunt of the emotional labour in it. I think he liked living his London Boy life which was a novelty to Taylor for a time but the further removed she was from the situation that drove her to retreat and the more she wanted to branch out, the more the realities of their personalities began to clash.

And truthfully, I know so many people who have been in similar relationships that it’s why Joever just does not feel at all mysterious to me on a macro scale. (Taps Rae’s “all breakups are the same” sign.) I have a friend who did stick with her flavour of Joe in very similar circumstances (and now has kids with him 🥴) and it’s… not good. Her partner isn’t deliberately awful to her, but he’s a homebody who likes his life the way he likes it and while he doesn’t stop her from doing her own thing, also doesn’t understand why she’d want to go out or do xyz or wants him to do abc. (Do not ask me why they chose to have kids together but anyway.) So while I’m not at all giving Joe grace in this because again, whatever he did or did not intend still hurt her incredibly deeply. But it’s just… I think there’s a certain nuance where you can call his actions terrible without necessarily turning him into a cartoon villain (unless different information comes to light).

[satancopilotsmytardis]

You know, I've gotten so used to how you write things, that I didn't question why the chapter started the way it did. I just thought "oh, Tanco's doing funky writing again, cool" no questions asked. It didn't even occur to me that there might be something missing.

Although the new context is fun. Muscular is a bitch and Shig shoulda killed him. Shig having to warn everyone not to let the doctor take any sort of DNA from them because they absolutely didn't consent to it.

Meat smoothies. Nice. Spinner gets dressed down by Shig before he even met Stain, and then gets one from him too. Poor gecko guy. He's such a an awkward weirdo and I love him for that.

Seeing the small buildup to the porn gave a lot more context, because Dabi realizes that he might be, just the slightest bit, attracted to Shig, only to have that torn away when the rando appears. Oof.

So much was missing! 😭 I'm glad that you went back and read it! Poor Spinner is just a Mess in my fics, but he's gotta grow up too and get over the villain worship and be his own person!

And poor Dabi just thought that it was gonna be a normal night after Shig's meeting only to get blindsided by lust RIP

Thanks for commenting!

[desceros]

SAM. SAM. SAM.

okay, let me be calm. woo-sah. ahem. i don't cry a lot. it's less a factor of "tch, i'm a rough and tough guy, emotions are for losers" and more the fact that i... just don't really cry too much anymore, and i'm not too sure why. in any case, the only things that really get to me nowadays are certain movies, TV shows, and highly stressful situations. i can count on one hand the amount of times something i've read has gotten me to tear up

...and now, the latest chapter has been added to that list. it wasn't even anything sad, not exactly. just... Viola-Chan's talk with Todd and Mikey. as someone who semi-recently went through a break-up (a bit over a year ago; we'd been dating for 5 years), while it was not at all the same situation, iiiiit definitely still stabbed me right through the chest a little too close to my heart. like, the whole thing with Donnie and Vi has been extra "oof, ouch, owie" for me for a while because of that, but now, it's just been emphasized - but i LOVE IT, don't get me wrong! it hurts in a good way! i need a Todd in my life, honestly

and Mikey, omfg - i literally dropped my phone to punch the air with joy when he hugged Vi, i was SO happy for her (us?). all the family talk... good god. she (we) deserve(s) every piece of goodness the world has to offer

now. about that ending. completely blindsided me. blew me onto my ass. tore me asunder. i really... REALLY did NOT see that coming. like, at ALL. i knewwwww Alopex was gonna come back, we all knew it, but i had an entirely different theory that i am now shoving right back down my throat. Vi can never go for too long without suffering, can she? you are a sick and twisted person (and i love it)

side note: fuck yeah, new Stardew update! i'm gonna play it with a couple of my friends tomorrow since they're all busy today, and i'm sooooo excited about everything i'm hearing so far. hope you have fun too! :D

sounds like you had a nice catharsis, which is exactly the mood for this chapter! and yeah, we all need a todd and a mikey. i feel like that lemonade would fix me. and yeah, viola-chan's always got something going on. that's what makes a fic fun! :D

im having a lot of fun on turtle time farm, hehehe. i started with the new farm layout where you get two chickens in the beginning, and i named them donnie and leo. there is currently an intense battle to see who gives me the most gold star large eggs. im screaming

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Do you believe in tarot? And mediums? Someone recommended a psychic medium to me, they say she is absolutely unreal because of how amazing she is. She even helped the FBI.

But I'm not going to lie, I'm really scared. I had terrible experiences with so-called mediums in my childhood, because of my family.

But the way this lady was described to me seems too good to pass up. It might even help me clarify and heal some things from my past. But I'm scared that she's just another scammer or that she's too good and I'm not sure I'm ready to know my future.

Oof that’s a tough one! TBH I have never gone to a psychic because I’m scared. Not because I believe that a psychic can read the future, but because I believe that some people are excellent at reading people. That means that this stranger can get under my skin and possibly influence my thoughts and decisions. I don’t think I’m gullible by any means, but there have been instances in my life where I’ve been completely blindsided by people who are experts at manipulating others. That’s why I aim to protect my psyche at all costs. Some people are more susceptible to persuasion than others. I feel like I’ve never been one of these people but I’ve still been burned. So I am VERY careful about whom I let in. By going to a psychic, you’ll be letting down your guard in a sense, since you’re paying for a service so you’re already more open to their opinion than to a random person’s. This thought absolutely terrifies me.

I work in the mental health field and I will be the first to tell you to vet your therapist/psychologist before setting up a meeting. I think the same should go for a medium. Because you are entering a space in which you will be mentally or spiritually vulnerable, and you need to know that you can trust this individual to guide you in the right direction. That is a lot of faith to put into someone you’ve never met.

I have trust issues, not sure if that’s apparent 😆

[darwinquark]

how much bitter exes / jealousy are we gonna get in the sequel? im like that one spongebob meme after reading the last chapter, I NEED IT!!!

oof, a lot lol

the first chapter is more so a stifling tension-fest because their meeting is unplanned and blindsides them both, and it also happens in a professional context, so in addition to having a shit ton of unresolved emotions they weren't prepared to have to confront that abruptly, there's the added layer of being professional in front of other people

then Veronica does something to piss him off without really meaning to, and then he does something that pisses her off kind of intentionally, and I'd say that's the point where they drop the niceties and we're in full on bitter exes territory for a bit. jealousy also factors into the sequel a lot more than in tkof, since they're both adults free to date whoever they want (and in a fun twist, jughead's debut novel's made him this up-and-coming literary darling, so a combo of that and growing into his looks a little more means he's getting more attention than he used to, which obviously doesn't get under veronica's skin at all). there's also a pretty disastrous double date planned

so to reiterate, a lot!

[inkovert]

*slides in* 8) All of these are for Mira, by the by! 🍀🎓 And also, I kinda know this one (especially the second, unless you changed much from the first draft), but I still am all for angst tonight anyway: ❤️✂️

Hello Jax! lolll always happy to answer questions about Mira - she's great.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Coincidentally just answered this one for Mira here but long story short she was inspired by one of my friends from high school who just was unapologetically all the things that women get condemned for being. Which is Mira in a nutshell. Also a tiny bit of her may have been inspired by Katherine from TVD but we don't need to talk about that.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since the story's inception! which was back when I was like...14? 15? Her name actually was Kathryn in the earliest drafts of this story (because: see above) but when I got a bit older and began the first of numerous rewrites this story would go through, I just shook my head and was like...we need to change this girl what are we doing. (Fun fact: Jeremy's the only other character who's name was also inspired by TVD, it was the name of the main character's brother from the show, but I didn't feel the need to change it because it grew on me...holy hell I am cringing at younger me).

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

*scrolls back to that scene from the first draft where Cami's watching a montage of videos Mira put together for her birthday party* Mmmm probably when she won 2nd place at the talent show for singing Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. Cami was there to root her on which automatically makes it a great memory, but, being an immigrant who didn't get a kind welcome when she first moved to the US, it was one of the first moments where she felt embraced by the community around her and regarded in a positive light for something that she loves to do.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Oof. So as you know Mira was in a toxic relationship in her early teen years so pretty much that entire period of her life. What is new to you in this second draft is that Mira's bisexual and this was her first relationship with a girl, which blindsided and shook her even more because she didn't expect that an abusive relationship could happen with a girl.

Ask me a question about my OCs!

[uhohbestie]

read the most recent two chapters of tamn yesterday. after careful consideration im glad bro got cooked because i was so not expecting it and im so excited to see where the story goes from here. so so complicated. absolute power move btw - who needs two main characters anyway?

(i thought that, if anyone was going to die, it would be scar first and i was expecting a "you're gone and i can't ever apologise" but now that GRIAN died(?) it's more "you're gone and i can't ever forgive either of us" and that's AWESOME i love that bad things happen to characters (and i have a feeling that grian isn't gone for good... something nefarious is brewing))

This is such a fun opinion, I love it >:D

It was really fun for us reading our comments, after weeks of "I get why he's acting this way, but I still wanna flambe that man," how quickly the tied turned to "I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK." (the Nobody Knows meme but everyone in the party is saying 'push Grian into the sun' and we're standing in the corner going 'they don't know we're going to push Grian into the sun')

We're so glad it was unexpected, though! We were really hoping it'd come as at least a little bit of a blindside, and we're SO excited to dig into the complicated position it puts Scar in now. Technically what he asked for (a nice big break) but oof....... At What Cost.

[deadmandairyland]

Came up with another concept for a possible Super Daryl Deluxe fic in the future if I can come up with more specific details for it:

A somewhat more mundane AU with no world-ending or teenager-murdering plots (man, this seems to crop up a little too often in media I like). It’d have some on-the-nose title, like “The Surprisingly Mundane Adventures of Daryl Whitelaw” or something, but it would still be a bit crazy, kinda like BakaTest (but without the summoned beasts) or maybe even Nichijou if I’m feeling ambitious.

Here are some basic ideas floating around my head:

Daryl has an overactive imagination but almost never speaks (which is pretty much canon already). Basically in this universe, even if it turned out that Daryl actually does believe the events of the game happened, it’s all in his head (which I think could actually be a funny concept, and it’s even touched upon somewhat in the game before eventually blindsiding you with a “Holy shit, this stuff is actually happening” epiphany).

Daryl can speak but is super awkward and doesn’t really know how to speak to people. On the rare occasions that Daryl does speak, he of course sounds like Napoleon Dynamite.

Instead of being an isolated girl living in the vents, Princess is something of a queen bee at the school (with Daryl being completely convinced that she’s literally royalty and an ice queen that’s waiting for a dashing prince to thaw her or whatever). She’d be kind of a Pacifica Northwest kind of character, and her name would literally just be Princess Bavarius because why not.

Eli Bavarius is not an eons-old doomsday supervillain, but something like... idk, a superintendent or some kind of government official? Someone that still has a lot of power over the school and is a bit of a dick. He can still have a skull for a face though, I think that would still fit the story. Maybe a result of the escalator incident? Will the escalator get a Historical Villain Upgrade in this? These are the real questions.

In the same vein of Eli still having the skull for a face, Vice Principal Robatto can still be a robot, again because why not.

Potential Love Interests (TM): So if Daryl is both our Archie and basically our hilariously clueless harem anime protagonist, Princess would obviously be our Veronica. Beyond that, I think Abby and Skill Sorceress (OOF, that’s going to be the hard part, coming up with names for the DnD characters. I don’t want to be calling Skill Sorceress, well, “Skill Sorceress” the entire time, and I don’t want to confuse everyone by calling her “the Homestuck” the whole time either) would make for good Bettys. Plenty of comedic potential there. As for the gay option I’m thinking... Saving Instructor (who I also need to come up with a name for because “Saving Instructor” doesn’t even make sense outside of a video game and I’m not calling him “the Weeb” the whole time either). We never see what’s under the Goku mask either, maybe he removes it at some point and he turns out to be a bishonen all along, complete with sparkles.

No, Paul and Alan will not be love interests for Daryl. I can’t do that to poor Daryl. I can do a lot of things to poor Daryl, but not that.

Possible Side Ships (TM): So right now all I’m thinking is that if I don’t end up pairing Abby with Daryl I’m probably going to pair her with either Monica or Claire, and if I don’t pair her with Claire then I'm probably going to pair Claire with Steve (insert haha funny Resident Evil joke here), but that’s pretty much all I can think of at the moment.

Non-Romantic Character Dynamic of Note (TM): I want Time Knight and his sister to be major characters. I just love their whole dynamic of the sister being like “My brother is the coolest, he’s the best brother ever and roleplaying with him is so much fun!” and meanwhile Time Knight is just the biggest delusional asshole on the planet. I don’t think we ever see them on screen together in the game so just imagining scenarios where they’re interacting is fun.

Anyway, that’s all I got for now. I mean it’s a lot to go off of, but actually coming up with a coherent plot out of this is the hard part. Only time will tell if we will see anything come out of either this or my “Super Abby Advance” idea.

[ohsomightypeaches]

He grins and deposits the key in your waiting palm. ‘You can ask Joel for help, you know. He’s handy with this kind of stuff.’

😏 you don't say...

You blink, blindsided by the seemingly random mention of his brother - but his dimpled smile tells you otherwise.

I SEE WHAT YOURE DOING SIR 🤭

Or does he?

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Tommy graciously lets you off the hook. ‘We’re a bit short on sweets, actually, if you bake.’

LOL

‘Do you make a carrot cake?’

🤨 hold up. I THOUGHT you SAID SWEETS 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 CARROT CAKE?! that's the first go to for SWEETS?!?!??!

Okay but if this is because it's hard for like chocolate to come by because it's apocalypse and you can just ✨️grow✨️ carrots 😔 now I'm sad. Reason 39474662 I will not make it in apocalypse

He flashes you a cheeky grin. ‘What a funny coincidence, it’s Joel’s as well - the only way to get carrots in him.’

SON OF A BITCH OH HES GOOD. he's very good.

Your pulse spikes with adrenaline at the unexpected tidbit Tommy drops in your lap, and you greedily squirrel that little fact away, slowly colouring in the Joel-shaped space in your head.

I love this description. It's adorable and so visual.

Where he is not.

For one day can we not be angsty Joel 😩 PLEASE RELAX FFS UNCLENCH YOUR JAW OLD MAN LET YOUR CREAKY HIPS REST* (*from survival mode)

And then all that noise had blown up, literally, with the State House. With Tess.

OOF. in italics?! Was the italics necessary?! Why does it hit so much harder in italics

‘Watch your language,’ he barks, no real bite behind it.

😭🖤 he's so dad.

There are times when he wonders to which extent all this is a coping mechanism. But well, at least she’s coping.

😭 BBS

They nod at him now as they file into the garden party, still keeping their distance, but not as much as he would’ve liked.

Ah yes I forgot he was a feral cat man

Well, he supposes dinner parties at Bill and Frank’s count, as far and few in between as they were. Not that they ever celebrated anything specific, per se - they didn’t need a reason beyond the fact that they were all still alive and kicking. Bill, bless his soul, did make a mean roast, and Frank used to host with enough flair for forty instead of four. Tess had a black dress she stowed away at the back of her closet for these parties, and a red one that she saved for the really special occasions -

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

‘I was just now,’ he grunts pointedly.

LOL how very older sibling of you

‘Don’t try to butter me up. I ain’t babysittin’ for you.’

Hes old and tired 😔 leave my feral cat mans alone

He can’t help a smile. ‘But for all your devious plans to get into her babysitter’s pants, Sarah did love her Uncle Tommy.’

Oh that hurt

Tommy nudges him on the shoulder. ‘I can only hope my kid will love their Uncle Joel just as much.’

😭 why do you want me to cry today

Eventually, he harrumphs, ‘If they do - I’ll think about the babysittin’.’

😭😭😭😭

You’re wearing the jeans he asked you to.

😏😌🔥

Does he… hug you? He can count on three fingers who he’s hugged for the past twenty years, and he’s sorely out of practice. A kiss is an option, but the way his eyes dart to your mouth, it’s dangerous even entertaining that thought - 

Joel do you even strategize this much in that short amount of time when a bloater is coming at you? Lol

With a shrug, he jokes, ‘It’s ok, I’m a bit broken all over.’

😭💀 JOEL

A smirk on his lips, he steps into your space, the very proximity of him stealing the air from your lungs. ‘I might if you’re not careful.’

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

‘They’re comin’ closer,’ Joel complains, taking a long gulp of his beer.

LOL you scared bro?

‘I guess they figure if I’m talking to you, it means that you don’t actually bite,’ you quip.

💀💀💀 okay but you can't approach a feral cat just because it decided it's okay with one person

‘Will they back off if I make you cry?’

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 they'll back off too if YOU start crying I'm sure lol

Joel splutters, ‘A hot tub?’

Andrew is living like a king in apocalypse.

‘Let’s just say Jackson is a commune with American characteristics,’ you say diplomatically.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

‘I was a contractor in another life.’

Yeah fuck Andrew and his hot tub 🔥

‘Here and there,’ you say with a dismissive wave. ‘It’s not important. It’ll hold up.’

YOU HAD A PERFECT IN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOUR BROKE ASS DOOR NEEDS FIXING WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

Joel gives her a firm shake of the head, to which she responds with a disgruntled I’m watching you gesture.

LOL

‘Why’s she starin’ at me?’ he mutters.

She wants to adopt you obviously feral cat man

His eyebrows shoot up. ‘You made cream cheese? How?’

???????? You what now????

‘It’s not that big a deal. It’s just milk, lemon and salt,’ you say, trying to downplay it. Your arms are definitely not aching from the hours of straining and beating and whipping.

Oh no big. Just ✨️made✨️ cream cheese 😦 I literally just found out what the ingredients to cream cheese is. Who MAKES CREAM CHEESE

Joel hums doubtfully. ‘Ain’t seen any walnut trees in town.’

Why do you know what walnut trees look like? IS IT BECAUSE ITS FORAGEABLE?!?!?! 😭

Lies. You know it. He knows it.

🤭

His lips twitch wryly. ‘What a waste of perfectly good cream cheese.’

ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? HMMMMM?????? 👀👀👀👀

Then, holding your eyes, he sucks the cream cheese off his fingertip, a hum deep in his throat. ‘Delicious, sweetheart.’

It's me I'm a puddle on the floor again

He looms closer, bending at the waist and for one moment of madness, you think he might lean down and lick your neck clean. 

AS HE SHOULD

But he doesn’t.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Not only would you have let him - you would’ve trusted him to do all those things to you.

*high pitched scream only dogs can hear*

‘You can have my shirt,’ he offers.

👀 tumny?!

Your fingers twitch, yearning to reach out and tug him in by the front of his jeans, to untuck that vest and push it up and off. You want to snake your hands around his waist, hold him to you by the small of his back, and starting with his tummy, kiss your way across the soft belly - maybe with a cheeky scrape of teeth - up to his firm chest, his strong neck and to his lips. 

😭😩🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I too just want to squish and nibble. 😔

Your whole body jolts backwards when his voice pierces through your addled haze, low and raspy, snapping out of your sordid stupor almost grumpily - how rude of him to interrupt? - only to find him peering down at you with a lopsided smile. 

😤 won't lick the cream cheese frosting off and now THIS?!?!?? unacceptable. Rude. So rude. How dare.

Joel arches an eyebrow and closes the gap between you with three long, deliberate steps, one finger skimming where his shirt meets the waistband of your jeans. He teases with a smirk, ‘What’s that, sweetheart? This contractor look doin’ somethin’ for you?’

😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤 of course it is.

Running a tired hand down his face, Joel’s sigh sounds a lot like surrender. ‘Ellie, this is Pin. Pin, I’m sorry.’

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

‘Please,’ he interjects.

He's back in tired dad mode I love it

Joel scoffs. ‘Good to know those three weeks fixing that piece of junk for you was time well spent.'

I can just hear the sass 🤣🤣🤣

Stepping back, Ellie winks, ‘So - let’s put a pin in it for now?’

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAA thats my girl 😌

She scampers out of sight, but then reverses into view, sneakers squeaking. ‘ - Are you wearing Joel’s shirt?’

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You don’t even have the presence of mind to be embarrassed when your shins knock into his, breaking the kiss with a laugh as Joel hauls you up into his chest, looking very much pleased that he’s literally made your knees buckle.

😌🔥

‘You’ve made yourself scarce,’ remarks Lucy as she ambles up to you with a glass of wine running low. ‘Where you been, hon?’

Did you get the door fixed? No? Mind your own business Lucy 😤

Your Ellie was great puns and all. 10/10 no notes. 😌🔥

III ║ Edgestitch

Joel Miller x F!Reader

{ Part II: Threads | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }

Rating: M

Summary: You wear those jeans for Joel when you see him again at the baby shower at Tommy and Maria's - like he asked you to.

Warnings: Spicy thoughts but not explicit, sexual tension, sexual innuendos, flirting, mention of food and drink, some language, shy!reader, reader has a nickname related to her job, soft!Joel, no use of Y/N

Word count: 7k

Notes: It's here! This one was a long and winding road as I mentioned in Behind the Seams, I'm so relieved and excited when it all finally clicked and fell into place! I'm absolutely blown away by the love you guys have shown Joel and Pin so far, thank you, there's no greater motivation for a writer ❤️ I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

‘Damnit, Lucy,’ you mutter under your breath, this close to stamping your foot and pouting at the door that refuses to lock up. 

Lucy may be your best friend, but you’re not blind to the fact that she literally cannot be trusted to get anything done around the shop. It’s been two weeks since she promised to get the locksmith to come in, but here you are on Friday evening, wrestling with the key that refuses to turn the last quarter of an inch in the faulty lock.

‘Hey, Pin!’

Glancing over your shoulder, you force a wane smile at Tommy, who has his hands full with a cardboard box at the bottom of the stairs. ‘Need some help?’

‘Yes, please,’ you reply sheepishly.

You nod at the bottles of wine that clink delicately against one another as he sets them down. ‘Getting ready for the party on Sunday?’

Tommy steps up to the door and wriggles the key left and right experimentally. ‘Yeah, you comin’, right?’

‘Yes, with Lucy.’

‘Good, the more the merrier!’ He makes a face at the door lock, which is not cooperating with him either. ‘You should get someone to look at it. Probably time for a new one.’

‘Lucy was supposed to get Andrew to fix it, but you know Luce.’

Tommy yanks the door knob backwards hard as he twists the key. There’s a grunt of metal, and a triumphant aha! when it finally turns, the internal mechanisms of the lock sliding into place with a satisfying click. 

You nearly fall onto your knees in relief. ‘Thank you so much, Tommy. You’re a lifesaver.’

He grins and deposits the key in your waiting palm. ‘You can ask Joel for help, you know. He’s handy with this kind of stuff.’

You blink, blindsided by the seemingly random mention of his brother - but his dimpled smile tells you otherwise.

His brother, who was so solid and broad under you on the studio floor, just a few days ago. His brother, who you can still feel pressed between your thighs, in your bed in the dead of night. His brother, who has taken up residence in your mind, waking or otherwise, since he sauntered out of your shop with that infuriatingly attractive confidence when he asked you to to wear those jeans for him again on Sunday.

Joel has existed solely and safely in the parameters of your workspace for the past fortnight and a half, with only Lucy bearing witness to whatever it is between the two of you. Having to suddenly deal with any mention of him outside of it, especially with that knowing arch of Tommy’s eyebrow, has you completely flustered. It doesn’t help that his eyes are uncannily like Joel’s, a gorgeous deep brown, expressive and sharp, though the mischief sits a lot closer to the surface in the former’s.

Mercifully, your brain unscrambles long enough for you to reach the conclusion that of course, Joel must have told Tommy that he invited you and Lucy. It’s their party, after all. Surely, he doesn’t know anything else -

Or does he?

You’ve been quiet for too long to say anything about it now, so you clumsily change the subject, stumbling over your words. ‘I, uh - I was just wondering what I could bring on Sunday?’

Tommy graciously lets you off the hook. ‘We’re a bit short on sweets, actually, if you bake.’

You latch on to that gratefully. ‘I do - what kind of cake were you thinking?’

‘Do you make a carrot cake?’

You perk up. ‘It’s my favourite!’

He flashes you a cheeky grin. ‘What a funny coincidence, it’s Joel’s as well - the only way to get carrots in him.’

Your pulse spikes with adrenaline at the unexpected tidbit Tommy drops in your lap, and you greedily squirrel that little fact away, slowly colouring in the Joel-shaped space in your head.

With a wink, Tommy bends down to pick up the wine. ‘See you in a couple of days, Pin!’

At least you have the decency to wait until he turns the corner - once he does, you sprint across the road to the Jackson Grocer’s and clear out their stock of carrots for the day.

There are many things about Jackson that throw Joel. 

The plentitude after years of rations. The safety, which comes off more jarring than comforting.

But most of all, it’s the sounds. The kettle on the boil and the pop of the toaster in the morning when Ellie gets ready for school. Friendly chatter on the high street. Laughter. It still makes him jump when he hears playful shrieks in the neighbourhood playground, blood rushing in his ears and sending him halfway across the house for his rifle before he remembers where he is.

Where he is not.

It was always loud in the QZ. Loudspeakers blaring, alarms wailing, the indistinct hum of conversation and radio through paper thin walls in the slums at all hours of the day. And he was always listening - for danger, for trouble, and everything in between.

And then all that noise had blown up, literally, with the State House. With Tess.

Joel finds it hard to remember those first few days after leaving Boston behind. Mostly the raw cuts on his knuckles that wouldn’t heal and the ring in his right ear from the explosion, lingering like a pesky fly. 

But he knows it was Ellie who broke that silence first. And once that door was kicked down - 

‘Fuck no, dude!’

His face snaps up and he scowls across the lawn, the stern reprimand rolling off his tongue like second nature. ‘Ellie!’

She’s sitting with her friends, crowded around her most prized possession of the moment, a boombox she found in the thrift shop a couple of months ago and begged him to buy and fix up for her. 

Not that she needed to do much begging, he caved far too easily. It plays a bit wonky - the bass too heavy - still, it does the trick.

The teenagers around her cower immediately, but she defiantly stands her ground. ‘What?’

‘Watch your language,’ he barks, no real bite behind it.

She rolls her eyes so hard her head falls back, and he has to press his lips together to not smile.

It helps him sleep better at night seeing Ellie fit right in - at least one of them has. She doesn’t hate going to school half as much as she pretends to, the routine of homework and chores anchoring her to small town life. She’s even volunteered to help out at the farm, spending most afternoons in the stables with the horses.

There are times when he wonders to which extent all this is a coping mechanism. But well, at least she’s coping.

And while Joel still hasn’t made up his mind about Jackson, its townsfolk seem to have unilaterally made theirs up about him. The wary whispers and watchful stares have given way to cautious gestures of acknowledgement, some even bold enough to throw a good morning in his general direction as he walks down the street. 

They nod at him now as they file into the garden party, still keeping their distance, but not as much as he would’ve liked.

The expectant parents have gone all out for the occasion. Several tables are lined up end to end in the middle of the garden, filling up with potluck dishes as guests arrive. Tommy lords over the barbeque, the brisket having been smoking since dawn, with chicken, bacon and homemade sausages sizzling on the grill. Maria is in her element, flitting from well wisher to well wisher with a protective hand over her rounded belly, making sure everyone has a drink and a loaded plate in hand.

Joel hovers in no man’s land, dodging the crowds and sipping on beer that has long gone flat, trying to remember the last time he celebrated anything. 

Well, he supposes dinner parties at Bill and Frank’s count, as far and few in between as they were. Not that they ever celebrated anything specific, per se - they didn’t need a reason beyond the fact that they were all still alive and kicking. Bill, bless his soul, did make a mean roast, and Frank used to host with enough flair for forty instead of four. Tess had a black dress she stowed away at the back of her closet for these parties, and a red one that she saved for the really special occasions -

A strong hand on his back jolts him forward and out of his thoughts, spilling lukewarm beer over his fingers.

‘Havin’ a good time, brother?’ asks Tommy jovially, cheeks stretched with joy.

‘I was just now,’ he grunts pointedly.

Tommy grins. ‘Lighten up, man. Get drunk, be merry! You’re gonna be an uncle.’

‘Don’t try to butter me up. I ain’t babysittin’ for you.’

Thumping his chest in mock hurt, he asks, ‘What about all those times I babysat Sarah, man?’

Joel gives him a long-suffering side stare. ‘Please. You used to hire that college chick ‘cross the street to babysit whenever you were supposed to. Then you’d hit on her all night long.’

Tommy chuckles. ‘Damn, your mind’s in better shape than I give you credit for, old man.’

He can’t help a smile. ‘But for all your devious plans to get into her babysitter’s pants, Sarah did love her Uncle Tommy.’

He goes quiet for a beat and takes a sip of his beer, his eyes softening. ‘I think about that girl every single day, y’know.’ 

Joel nods, staring into his own beer, and it suddenly strikes him that he’s missed the shape of her name on his lips. ‘I know.’

Tommy nudges him on the shoulder. ‘I can only hope my kid will love their Uncle Joel just as much.’

Eventually, he harrumphs, ‘If they do - I’ll think about the babysittin’.’

Tommy chortles just as the backdoor to the porch swings open with a loud creak.

Joel spots you easily, trailing one step behind Lucy. You’re holding onto a cake on a round wooden board like a security blanket, shoulders tense and eyes wide at the noise of the festivities. Spotting Maria, Lucy bounds down the stairs, leaving you hesitating at the landing, and -

You’re wearing the jeans he asked you to.

Something primal swells in the cavity of his chest, between his ribs - a pride that is distinctly male.

Tommy shouts, ‘Pin! Over here!’

Joel shifts on his feet, swallowing thickly as you approach. If your shy smile is anything to go by, he’s not the only one feeling the nerves.

His brother gives you a careful hug around the cake and plants a kiss on your cheek. When he steps aside, Joel hesitates, uneasy with having an audience, his palms suddenly clammy with indecision.

Does he… hug you? He can count on three fingers who he’s hugged for the past twenty years, and he’s sorely out of practice. A kiss is an option, but the way his eyes dart to your mouth, it’s dangerous even entertaining that thought - 

Tommy elbows him in the ribs and puts him out of his misery. ‘Why don’t you kids catch up, I think the brisket’s burnin’. Have fun tonight!’

Joel can feel the tip of his ears turning red as he stands there with his drink, one hand shoved in his back pocket, not knowing how to do this. How to entertain. Clearing his throat, he stammers, ‘Uh - can I get you a drink or somethin’?’

You give him a small smile, lips moving in an answer too quiet to reach him over the music. Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, he admits, ‘Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m uh - a bit deaf in my right ear.’

You look apologetic, speaking up, ‘I’m sorry - I didn’t know.’

With a shrug, he jokes, ‘It’s ok, I’m a bit broken all over.’

You pinch your lips, and he recoginses that face - he knows that you want to disagree with him. But you hold your tongue, skirting around him to his good ear, and he stoops to close the distance, even though he doesn’t need to.

Your breath brushes his ear. ‘I’d love a drink, but I want to put this cake away first.’

‘Yes, of course - sorry, don’t know where my manners went.’ He puts his unfinished beer away and takes the cake from you despite your protests. The potluck table is packed to the brim, so he gestures towards the house. ‘It might have to go into the kitchen for now.’

You follow him, side by side with one polite body width between you, past bands of neighbours and friends catching up, the fairy lights catching your eyes and the well-kept lawn crunching beneath your soles. Unsurprisingly, you feel the weight of curious stares on your back as you go - Joel is still very much a novelty around town. Neither of you speak until he holds open the backdoor for you to slip inside.

It’s quiet in the kitchen, the muted conversation outside a low hum through the double-glazed windows. The free-standing island is already chock full of all kinds of baked goods and pudding, and Joel has to move an actual jelly castle (which wriggles precariously) to free up space for your contribution.

Dusting his hands, Joel turns to you. ‘That carrot cake?’

You nod, keeping mum.

‘It’s my favourite.’

‘I know - Tommy told me,’ you confess with a bashful half-shrug.

His warm eyes crinkle at the corners. ‘Talkin’ about me behind my back, sweetheart?’

Your breath quickens at the sweetheart, and you wonder if the thrill of the nickname will ever wear thin. Emboldened, you tilt your head to one side and tease, ‘Why? You like the attention?’

A smirk on his lips, he steps into your space, the very proximity of him stealing the air from your lungs. ‘I might if you’re not careful.’

And there you are again - with nothing more than a dozen words exchanged and even more unsaid - on the brink of something, right where you left off on the workshop floor.

‘Wanna grab a bite to eat?’

Tucked away in an intimate corner of the back porch in a wicker chair, Joel surveys the party with a seriousness that is borderline comical. 

The strategist in him clearly favours the higher ground the porch affords him so he can keep an eye on everyone and spot whoever approaches from a distance. His seat is an easy three steps to the door, an escape plan in his back pocket. For all his stillness, the intensity is unmistakable, if slightly out of place in a baby shower.

Two dirty plates licked clean are stacked on the coffee table between you, piled high with bones and leftover gravy, the delicious food sitting warm in your stomach.

‘They’re comin’ closer,’ Joel complains, taking a long gulp of his beer.

‘I guess they figure if I’m talking to you, it means that you don’t actually bite,’ you quip.

‘Will they back off if I make you cry?’

Your shoulders quake with a chuckle. ‘I think you’re too much of a gentleman to do that, Joel Miller.’

You’re taken aback by the flash of heat in his answering glance, as if there’s something he wants to say. But then, he changes his mind and leans back in his chair, one palm resting on his spread thighs, and he nods towards a couple standing close to the barbeque.

‘Who’s that over there? He lives on my street.’

‘That’s Andrew. He owns the only hot tub in Jackson.’

Joel splutters, ‘A hot tub?’

‘To be fair, it came with his house, but he managed to connect it to the water a few months ago.’

He snorts. ‘Not very communist of him to divert public resources for a private hot tub.’

‘Let’s just say Jackson is a commune with American characteristics,’ you say diplomatically.

He arches an eyebrow at you. ‘A cynic, sweetheart?’

You reply matter-of-factly, ‘We all know how communism ended.’

Fuck. He takes a swig of his beer and swallows hard. A woman after his own heart.

‘You want to keep him on your good side though. He’s really handy with electrics and the like.’

He shrugs. ‘So am I.’

You turn to him, surprised. ‘Oh?’

‘I was a contractor in another life.’

He notices your attention flicker to his hands, before you catch yourself and look away bashfully. ‘That’s good to know.’

‘You need things fixed?’ he asks, and promptly wants to kick himself for sounding so hopeful to be of service.

‘Here and there,’ you say with a dismissive wave. ‘It’s not important. It’ll hold up.’

He runs his tongue over his bottom lip thoughtfully. You have to work on asking for things, but it’s ok - he doesn’t push you. He files that away for later.

Glancing across the yard, he catches Ellie’s eye, who’s arching an inquisitive eyebrow and pointing straight at you with all the subtlety of a flying brick. He knows he should probably introduce you at some point, but he’s not ready to share your attention with someone else just yet, let alone the nosy teenage loudmouth.

Joel gives her a firm shake of the head, to which she responds with a disgruntled I’m watching you gesture.

Ignoring her for now - and knowing that he’ll pay for it later - he asks you, ‘And who’s that in the red dress?’

You crane your neck until you spot her. ‘Ah, that’s Patricia. She’s the dance teacher down at the school.’

‘Why’s she starin’ at me?’ he mutters.

You shoot him an amused grin. ‘Why, it looks like you’ve caught the fancy of our local femme fatale.’

He scoffs. ‘Should I be worried?’

‘Well, she’s been married and divorced three times since she arrived,’ you answer with a straight face. ‘The last one just disappeared. Never found his body.’

Joel stares at you in stunned silence, until you let out a poorly contained giggle. He grumbles, ‘Havin’ fun pullin’ my leg, sweetheart?’

‘Just a bit,’ you tease.

‘I liked you better when you were shy,’ he ribs.

You shrug. ‘Too late. You don’t scare me anymore.’

Glancing the other way, Joel sits up in alarm at the flutter of crimson fabric. ‘Shit, I think she’s comin’ this way.’

‘Time for carrot cake?’ you prompt.

He’s out of his chair quicker than you’d expect his knees would allow him to. ‘Let’s go, sweetheart.’

The state of the kitchen island stops you in your tracks, while Joel lets out a low whistle behind you. ‘Jackson really turned out for this party, huh?’

‘Well, your brother and sister-in-law are pretty popular around town,’ you quip.

You didn’t think it was possible, but every square inch of the kitchen island is now jam-packed with sugary confections, stacked on top of one another.

‘I can’t even find the bloody cake,’ you laugh, literally searching high and low as you skirt the parameter.

On the other side of the island, Joel tosses a dry good luck in your direction and puts the dirty plates and cutlery that he brought in into the sink with a clatter, turning on the hot water. You stutter to a stop opposite him, gawking at how his broad shoulders fill the frame of the window that sits in front of the sink, before your gaze inadvertently trails south - over the nip of his waist and the hem of his shirt skirting the back pockets of his jeans. You find yourself wishing he’d tucked the tails in.

Rooted to the spot, you watch him unbutton the cuffs on his flannel shirt and push up the sleeves to the crease of his elbows, baring his strong forearms. Your mouth goes dry despite the wine you’ve been sipping on all evening, peering at the sinewy muscles flexing and straining as he lathers the plates with an offhand familiarity, his thick fingers dwarfing the sponge in as he works the grease stains. 

Making quick but thorough work of the washing up, Joel dries the plates and then runs the tea towel over his big hands and wrists, catching you staring as he turns around. If he knows you’ve been watching all along, he lets it slide. Tossing the towel to one side, heat prickles under your cheeks when he sidles up to you with the clean plates.

The sight of this man doing something as mundane as dishes really shouldn’t get you this hot and bothered.

‘Is that cream cheese?’ he asks conversationally with a nod at your cake, which you have found sitting on top of a tall plastic caddy, a chocolate cake inside.

Having to consciously unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, you’re surprised your voice doesn’t shake. ‘It’s not carrot cake without it.’

‘Where did you get the cream cheese? Never seen any ‘round town.’

Almost bashful, you admit, ‘I made it.’

His eyebrows shoot up. ‘You made cream cheese? How?’

‘It’s not that big a deal. It’s just milk, lemon and salt,’ you say, trying to downplay it. Your arms are definitely not aching from the hours of straining and beating and whipping.

‘And the walnuts?’ he asks.

‘Someone I know grows it,’ you say vaguely.

Joel hums doubtfully. ‘Ain’t seen any walnut trees in town.’

Biting your bottom lip, you can pinpoint the exact moment he figures it out, brows drawing together in a frown. ‘The only ones I’ve seen are outside the walls, ‘round the north side of the gates.’

Knowing for a fact that you’re a terrible liar, you don’t even try. You choose to ignore him, idly smoothing the frosting on top with a clean knife, trying not to flinch at the weight of his gaze on you.

‘Sweetheart, please tell me you didn’t go outside just to get walnuts for me.’

‘Not for you,’ you shoot back unconvincingly, flustered. ‘I made the cake for Tommy and Maria.’

Lies. You know it. He knows it.

His shoulders stiffen, the fabric of his shirt bunching with the movement. ‘You can’t just go outside like that, y’know, there could be infected ‘round -’

‘Joel, I’ve been living here for years, I know what I’m doing,’ you argue huffily, not expecting a lecture, of all things. ‘I’m not stupid.’

He shakes his head. ‘Ain’t what I’m sayin’, Pin -’

‘Just leave it, ok?’ you reply sharply and, signalling an end to the conversation, you slice into the cake with an aggressive stab - not noticing that it is hanging over the edge of the caddy below. 

You squeak when it flips unceremoniously, and on pure impulse, you pitch forward to stop its upward trajectory, meeting it mid-air with an ominous splat.

‘Fuck!’

To his credit, Joel barely skips a beat, quickly but calmly grabbing hold of the cake board and pulling it off you, setting it down on the counter, while you gape in dismay at the damage done. 

The side of the cake that made contact with you is smushed in, most of the thick frosting now painted all over your front, from your neck down to the lovely, thin cashmere top that Lucy picked out for you for the party.

You really hope there’s a big guy up there watching, because someone might as well enjoy this mortifying brand of comedy you keep dishing out around this man.

Two seconds more, and you’re pretty sure you would’ve burst into tears for lack of knowing what else to do - but without another word, Joel takes the lead, wrapping a firm hand around your wrist and pulling you out of the kitchen. 

You gratefully let him.

It’s none of your business really, but it comforts you that Joel’s obviously here often enough to know his way around the house.

You glance around the dimly lit room where he deposited you on the edge of a neatly made bed, water trickling in the adjoining ensuite. When he returns, he has a small, wet towel in his hands. Towering over you, the low lights don’t quite reach his face, but you can see the way his gaze slips downwards, carefully, as if he’s afraid to startle you.

But he doesn’t - not even when he slides the crook of his fingers under your chin, tilting your face up and opening up your throat.

His lips twitch wryly. ‘What a waste of perfectly good cream cheese.’

Despite yourself, a laugh escapes you at the absurdity of the situation. ‘Must something always go wrong whenever we’re in the same room?’

The corner of his mouth teases a smile. ‘Never a dull moment with you, sweetheart.’

You smile back, but it falters when his eyes burn in a quiet but unmistakable smoulder. 

‘May I?’

You’re not even sure what he’s asking. But he can ask you anything in that raspy, low baritone, and there will always only be one answer.

At your nod, Joel drags the tip of his index finger down the column of your neck, and your lips part when it glides over your windpipe - pressing just hard enough for you to feel the pressure - collecting the velvety frosting as it goes. 

Then, holding your eyes, he sucks the cream cheese off his fingertip, a hum deep in his throat. ‘Delicious, sweetheart.’

You’re sitting down, but somehow, you still feel your knees give way at how he smacks his lips at the sugary aftertaste.

He looms closer, bending at the waist and for one moment of madness, you think he might lean down and lick your neck clean. 

At the prospect of those plush lips and the burn of his silvered, patchy beard on your skin, your head tilts further back invitingly. His pupils dilate and his nostrils flare, like he’s picking up on what you’re thinking, and his eyes dip to your mouth.

But he doesn’t.

You don’t even have time to be disappointed before Joel carefully gets down on one knee in front of you, one palm landing on the mattress next to your hip for balance. Knowing the state of his joints, you want to ask if he needs a pillow, but instead of your mouth, it’s your thighs that part to make room for him. His chest keeps them splayed open, and you can feel the steady rise and fall of his ribcage with each breath through the denim. 

You try to focus on your own breathing as Joel presses the wet towel to your skin and mops up the sticky mess, his face set seriously as he cleans you up inch by inch. But all you can think about is how you can feel the imprint of his fingers through the thin fabric, and how the span of his hand can easily fit over the column of your throat -

You don’t realise you’re leaning into him until he draws back when he’s done, and you tip forward, chasing his touch. His knee groans as he stands up to his full height, and he nods towards the bathroom with a wait here in his eyes.

The water is scalding as Joel washes out the frosting from the towel, but he keeps his hands under the tap, longer than he needs to. Wringing it dry, he takes a moment, wet palms gripping the cold porcelain edge of the bathroom sink, shoulders hunched over as he tells himself to calm the fuck down.

Except, he is calm. He’s held back, even when you looked at him with such straightforward, honest want that has him grinding his teeth.

Thing is, he knows you would’ve let him nudge you backwards into the mattress and crowd you between his arms, switching places the two of you were in under your sewing desk in the workshop.

He knows you would’ve let him wrap your legs around his hips, sliding his palms up the back of your thighs in those skin tight jeans - the sight of which is enough to make his head spin - and he knows you would’ve let him nip, suck, lick the tangy buttercream off your very neck. 

Not only would you have let him - you would’ve trusted him to do all those things to you.

That last realisation awakens something he’s not so sure he has a handle on. But he knows for a fact that with the whole of Jackson milling about downstairs, in the middle of his brother’s baby shower, is neither the place nor the time.

You’re where he left you when he steps back into the bedroom, your palms planted on the bed, your shoulders relaxed. The neckline of your blouse gapes loosely, teasing the soft skin of your cleavage.

Joel breaks the loaded silence with a bit of common sense. ‘You best get that top off and soak it in the bath before the stains really set in, sweetheart.’

You bite your lip hesitantly. ‘I - I don’t have anything to change into.’

‘You can have my shirt,’ he offers.

You sit up, attention piqued, when his hands move to the top of his flannel, thick fingers sliding each button out of the holes one by one. You know he’s just taking off his shirt, but you can’t help the way your jaw goes slack, watching shamelessly, the comforter twisting in your grip as you scrabble for something to hold onto. 

Joel doesn’t understand why you’re looking at him like that, but it’s so flattering to watch you watch him, eyes hooded and your tongue darting out to wet your bottom lip, like he’s giving you a fucking strip tease or something. 

Goddamn if it doesn’t go straight to his head.

A white undervest comes into view, inch by inch, as the shirt falls open, the thin fabric pulled taut at the seams over the broad stretch of his chest. When the last button is undone, he shrugs the shirt off with a smooth roll of his arms, and your jaw drops.

The undervest barely contains the bulk of him, and you’ll be damned if you know where to look first - the lean, solid line of his arms, or the effortless ripple of muscle in his shoulders - but it’s lower where your attention makes landing, and it takes you a second to realise why.

He’s not sucking in his tummy.

The swell of his abdomen sits above the top of his jeans, where the vest is neatly tucked in. You remember too well the brush of that soft strip of skin against the back of your hands when you were on your knees, cutting him out of his jeans; and then beneath you, straddling him under the sewing table. 

While there’s an undercurrent of self-consciousness in the way he holds himself, conspicuously missing is the self-deprecation that drew your ire the day he walked into your shop with a broken zipper. A tentative confidence has taken its place, which is at the same time so endearingly vulnerable, as if your reaction to the little show he gave you just now isn’t enough to assure him of what you’re thinking.

Your fingers twitch, yearning to reach out and tug him in by the front of his jeans, to untuck that vest and push it up and off. You want to snake your hands around his waist, hold him to you by the small of his back, and starting with his tummy, kiss your way across the soft belly - maybe with a cheeky scrape of teeth - up to his firm chest, his strong neck and to his lips. 

Or maybe, the calling southwards will win out. You’ll push him back to make room for yourself at his feet, nudging your way down his front with your nose, breathe him in, your hands finding his belt buckle and tugging it out of the loops instead. Never mind you've lost count of how many years it's been since you've wanted to do that, or if you remember how at all -

‘Pin.’

Your whole body jolts backwards when his voice pierces through your addled haze, low and raspy, snapping out of your sordid stupor almost grumpily - how rude of him to interrupt? - only to find him peering down at you with a lopsided smile. 

‘Get changed, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.’

Leaving your top to soak in the sink, you pad back into the bedroom in just your bra, and you stare down at his shirt laid out neatly on top of the bed.

You press your palm over where his heart would be, the flannel still warm. For one indulgent moment, you pick up the shirt and hug it to you. It smells like him - the outdoors, a crisp spring day, with a whiff of the barbeque smoke from downstairs. You bury your nose into the soft fabric, eyes closed, imagining the weight and shape of him in it. 

Even as you put your arms through the sleeves to button it up, you already know it will be hard giving it back. You leave the last three buttons undone and you’ve just tied up the too-long ends in a double knot when there’s a polite but firm knock on the door. 

‘You decent?’

‘Yes.’

You hope your face doesn’t fall too obviously at the sight of Joel wearing a shirt again, probably one borrowed from Tommy. He leaves it unbuttoned though, which is small consolation. The air hums between you with stolen glances and words unsaid.

‘You wore those jeans for me,’ he says suddenly.

The for me rolls off his tongue coated in his delectable Southern drawl and a heady satisfaction.

You decide to be brave and shrug one shoulder in a show of attitude. ‘It was the only thing I didn’t have in the wash.’

His grin makes your heart swell. Stepping out of the open doorway, his eyes trailing heat where they linger over you, he says, ‘You look good in my shirt, sweetheart. Real good.’

You bite your lower lip at the compliment, replying shyly, ‘I like this look on you too.’

‘Used to be Tommy’s uniform during our contractor days,’ he reminiscences. ‘I’m just missing the utility belt.’

Oh. You actually find it offensive that the fleeting mention of something as banal as a utility belt should get you going like this. You try to palm off a non-committal hum, but your body betrays you with a strangled choking sound that gives you away.

Joel arches an eyebrow and closes the gap between you with three long, deliberate steps, one finger skimming where his shirt meets the waistband of your jeans. He teases with a smirk, ‘What’s that, sweetheart? This contractor look doin’ somethin’ for you?’

Your cheeks grow hot as both his palms latch boldly onto your hips, and you swear you can feel the burn of his fingertips through the denim, a moan gargling in your throat as your ability to form words abandons you.

‘That a yes?’ he prompts, hooking his thumbs through the belt loops in your jeans and tugging your body flush against his, his stubbled chin brushing the sensitive crook of your neck as he speaks into your ear.

‘Joel,’ you whine, which is the best you can do right now, grabbing onto the open flaps of his shirt just to stay upright.

You feel the rumble that goes through his chest under your palms when he purrs, smiling down at you, head cocked to one side with a playful condescension that’s going to be the end of you. ‘Yes, Pin?’

Your mouth opens, but you’ll never get to find out what you intended to say, because you hear it first - his right ear is to the door - the thunder of rubber soles on the stairs, and you're lucky you manage to stumble two steps back before a deafening (no pun intended), drawn-out call of his name follows.

‘JOOOOOOELLLL!’

Ellie crashes into the doorway with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, slightly out of breath like she’s been running all over the place searching for him, already in the middle of a sentence, as usual. 

‘- also Maria says they’re doing a speech now and you’re not getting out of -’ she breaks off abruptly when she spots you, eyes wide and brows - all one and a half of them - reaching for her hairline. ‘Oh shiiiiiit.’

Running a tired hand down his face, Joel’s sigh sounds a lot like surrender. ‘Ellie, this is Pin. Pin, I’m sorry.’

You bite your lip to hold back a laugh at the resignation in his tone as the teenager wrinkles her nose. ‘Pin? That’s a weird name.’

‘Ellie!’

You smile. ‘It’s ok. Pin's just my nickname. I’m a seamstress at the Main Street Outfitters.’

Her face lights up excitedly, an open book if you’ve ever seen one. ‘No shit! I’ve been bugging Joel for a leather jacket for ages. Can I get one?’

‘Please,’ he interjects.

Ellie tucks in her chin and juts out her bottom lip at you. ‘Please?’

You demur. ‘Well, it depends on what you can trade in for it.’

‘My boombox!’ she volunteers without skipping a beat. 

Joel scoffs. ‘Good to know those three weeks fixing that piece of junk for you was time well spent.'

‘Sorry, man, but I can’t wear a boombox can I?’ she argues.

Giving Joel an amused look, you come to his rescue. ‘I’m sorry, Ellie, but we only take clothes in exchange.’ At the way she deflates, you counteroffer, ‘Or, you can come work at the shop on Saturdays for the next couple of months. Lucy always needs help out front, and you get a staff discount.’

He turns to you, protesting, ‘That’s very kind, but it ain’t necessary -’

Ellie cuts in, rushing up to you to shake your hand before you can take it back. ‘Deal! When can I start?’

‘There’s no rush,’ you reply with a chuckle. ‘I’ll get back to you next week.’

Stepping back, Ellie winks, ‘So - let’s put a pin in it for now?’

Joel groans at the terrible pun. ‘Get outta here!’

She cackles, firing triumphant finger guns at you as she retreats. ‘What? Pin liked it, she laughed! You’re no fun old man!’ 

She then pauses by the door, her eyes narrowing as she zeroes in on something smeared on your jeans. ‘Wait - what’s that white stuff on your leg?’

‘It’s cream cheese, you little shit!’ Joel snaps as your ears burn in embarrassment. ‘Out!’

She scampers out of sight, but then reverses into view, sneakers squeaking. ‘ - Are you wearing Joel’s shirt?’

‘ELLIE!’

She throws her hands up. ‘Alright, I’m gone, I’m gone! See ya Pin!’

Joel is the very picture of an embarrassed dad, rubbing the back of his neck with a wince. ‘Sorry, she’s a handful.’

You grin, ‘She’s just a teenager.’

‘You can say that again.’

The quiet seems louder after Ellie, and you restlessly pick at the sleeves. Lifting your eyes shyly, it seems the moment has passed - but Joel has other ideas.

‘C’mere,’ he hums, drawing you close again with one hand on your waist, peering down at you through his lashes. ‘This ok?’

At your nod, he brushes his thumb on your bottom lip, catching the soft plump skin, and your tongue darts out to taste him, his eyes darkening.

‘Can I kiss you, sweetheart?’ he asks, voice hoarse.

It’s been years. Years since anyone has cared enough to kiss you, let alone cared enough to ask if they could. And it’s as if he knows - you don’t know if you’ve somehow given it away, or maybe it’s just him. 

‘Yes, Joel.’

He coaxes you closer so that you’re pressed along the whole length of him. His big palms are warm and solid on the small of your back, holding you to him like he intends for you to have trouble standing after he’s done with you. 

The tip of his nose bumps into your cheek, nudging its way across and down, and your eyes slide shut when his shaky exhale grazes your gently parted mouth. Your breath hitches at the sweet burn of his beard on your jaw, fingers grabbing onto the scruff of his neck when he finally, finally brushes his lips against yours.

For a man as hardened as Joel Miller, he sure kisses soft. He steals a whimper straight from your throat with nothing more than the clever angling of his lips, the slow drag of tongue on tongue, and a growl deep in his windpipe that you answer with your own moan.

You don’t even have the presence of mind to be embarrassed when your shins knock into his, breaking the kiss with a laugh as Joel hauls you up into his chest, looking very much pleased that he’s literally made your knees buckle.

‘Sorry,’ you squeak, beaming despite yourself.

‘You really know how to flatter a guy, sweetheart,’ he answers, his voice warming you like a smokey campfire, steadying by his hands on your hips.

‘We should probably go before Ellie comes back for us,’ you say reluctantly.

Joel huffs, ‘Ain’t gonna hear the end of it if she does.’

‘Something tells me you won’t be hearing the end of it tonight anyway,’ you tease.

He chucks you gently under the chin, his eyes soft. ‘Let’s go, sweetheart.’

‘You’ve made yourself scarce,’ remarks Lucy as she ambles up to you with a glass of wine running low. ‘Where you been, hon?’

‘Had some trouble with the cake,’ you answer vaguely.

‘Sure,’ she winks at you, unconvinced. ‘If we’re calling him that.’

Right on cue, Joel strides across the lawn with three plates to join you. ‘Thought you might want some of Pin’s carrot cake.’

‘Such a gentleman, Joel Miller,’ chirps Lucy, making what can only be described as a 'thirst face' at you when his back is turned to her.

‘Thanks, Joel,’ you smile at him, letting your fingers graze his deliberately when you take the plate from him.

Saluting you with a forkful of cake, he says, ‘Thank you for bakin’, sweetheart.’

You watch as his lips close around the fork, dragging the cake clean off the slots, cream cheese smearing the corner of his mouth. He frowns, as if in deep pain as he chews, Adam’s apple bobbing when he swallows.

‘Okay?’ you ask nervously, your slice still untouched.

‘Perfect,’ he declares, already having a second, bigger bite. Knowing he doesn’t have a superfluous bone in his body, your chest warms at his words.

‘Wait a second,’ Lucy interrupts, bringing up her plate to inspect it closely. ‘Why does the cake look all wonky?’

‘Don’t know what you’re talking about, Luce,’ you answer coolly, taking a bite yourself.

Humming around a mouthful of moist crumb, the sweet carrot balanced out by the tangy frosting, you meet Joel’s eyes in the soft glow of fairy lights, and he flashes you a conspiratorial smile that makes you grin.

More notes: On Ellie - I was so so nervous about writing our resident teenage badass. I hope I've done her justice, I certainly had a lot of fun writing her introduction to Pin! If you're interested in a detailed deep dive into my process writing this chapter, I do recommend you read the Behind the Seams for this part ❤️

I also went back and forth on the tone and style of this chapter a lot. I wasn’t happy with the way it read, probably still not 100% happy. I like the way Seams and Threads were written better, but the fact is that this chapter is a very different setting and narrative compared to the first two, so I’m trying to be too hard on myself.

So, I have some ideas for where the story will go from here, but nothing concrete. As I've mentioned, I see this fic as more of a loose-fit series, so there's no overarching plot per se, but there's definitely a lot of room for future episodes of these two - I mean, they haven't even done the deed yet 😉

Comments, asks and reblogs are greatly appreciated as always! Thank you so much for reading, I'm so excited to hear what you guys thought of this chapter 😘

[woman-respecter]

OOF I will be honest I have ghosted. I had a long time friend that first instance when we were younger, we would make fun of each other, but other people thought it was okay to say those things to me and make them worse. I ended up punching a brick wall and injuring my hand and knew I didn’t want to hit my friend so I stopped talking to her for a few months (I yelled at her basically screaming I was getting bullied cause of her, we were like 10). I started talking to her again due to something happening. We never talked about it (we were 10 we didn’t know great communication so we just never talked about it)

So then later we have different friend groups but still friends. We were both annoying each other, if someone complimented me she would say they’re wrong, and I’d tease her. Anyway, I start going through hard times and one day in person alone I tell her what’s going on and I just need support right now. She says of course I’m here for you. Right after that For a whole year she wouldn’t be in the same room with me alone. If we were together there had to at least be one other person or she wasn’t there. I found out she was talking about me behind my back (honestly I didn’t hella care about that since I took that as venting, but a few other people were telling me it’s fucked up.) I decided to do that thing to see how long it would take her to reach out to me first. 6 months, she wanted to know if I was working at the fast food joint I worked at to see if she could get some free food, I was in the ER. (We probably saw each other twice through mutual friends and we acted fine) but it was clear we weren’t as close as we used to be. To other people I was her best friend, but it seemed like all I ever did was annoy her at this point. I couldn’t handle being called that. So I just stopped talking to her.

Mutuals were telling me that she saw it as “getting ghosted blindsided” but to me it was justified because she couldn’t even act like she wanted to talk/hangout with me. However our mutuals knew what was going on and my side. I never knew if she knew why or ghosted her or not. She never reached out.

I sometimes feel bad about not being the best communicator. We were young and even if I told her the full truth of my hard times what could she have done we were both kids. I don’t feel like I have the right to open that dialogue even tho I cut her off. She doesn’t need someone that dances in and out of her life. This did push to try and be better (moved away, travel, in therapy, and it helped be better outline expectations for relationships, and pushed me to communicate instead of hiding away alone with my anger issues)

I got to the point where there was no way to make relationship better for where it was at. I know I told her I needed help, and she didn’t really (again what could she do but listen). She seemed like she couldn’t be alone with me, and could I have handled hearing that at the time? I was paranoid of it, but if she confirmed it, I don’t know how I would have acted (probably cried a lot). Even if it is true, her knowing I wasn’t doing mentally well didn’t tell me afraid it would make things worse. We’d outgrown each other and we didn’t want to admit it.

All I can say now is I hope she’s doing well and I pray she doesn’t feel guilty how things ended.

yeah ghosting isn’t great but i defo understand why u did what you did. thats a really difficult situation