#get blindsided. because it is. OOF.

[terrainofheartfelt]

i 1000% agree with the point you made in the tags (and am now considering checking out my dark vanessa!!) i just also had a quick question about an aside you mentioned - in what ways do you feel prejudice has been woven into the way libraries organize information? i don’t mean to distract from the broader, more important message of the post, i’m just really curious about this as i’ve never really considered how organizational systems could have that kind of impact, and am now wondering how much of an effect it has on the overall institution of the american library system

oooh we love an academia question in this house!

Now, I am about 4 years removed from library school, so I'm going off memory and a quick cursory search, but I think this lithub article is a good jumping off point, but as a librarian I feel duty bound to encourage you to look up the sources they cite (they also misconstrue Thomas Dousa as from the University of Chicago when Dousa is actually from University of Illinois but whatevs)

to give a simple digest of a complicated issue, it comes down to the organizational system that most american libraries use (because it's easier to share resources/find resources if they're findable in the same way) was designed and implemented by cis het white men.

So, libraries of a significant size, like big academic research libraries where I work, use the Library of Congress (LoC) classification system to organize their books. the broad breakdown is that it sorts books into subject & catergory, then sorts them further by genre, author, title, year, volume, etc. the pros of it are that it's expansive, and was built with room to grow to make room for new subject areas, and one can go a granular as necessary to adequately classify and describe a work in the library catalog.

the main con of this system can be best described by the principle taught to me by my mother when she taught me how to use a calculator: Garbage in, garbage out. and that is when this LoC system was designed form only one perspective, that of a cisgendered, heterosexual white man, that point of view obscured other useful, and arguably, essential viewpoints for organizing information. because if only one perspective is sorting the information, their biases---no matter how unconscious---affect their priorities and what they value.

one way this is most obvious is with LoC Subject Headings. in addition to the call number system and everything else used to catalog a work in a library, every work is also ascribed Subject Headings, that, to use a library science term, describe the "aboutness" of the book. like: Literary Fiction, 19th Century; Music Literature, 21st Century. and since many of those subject heading were writeen by straight white men librarians, the language of them can be, well, racist, and homophobic, and transphobic, and sexist. a quote from the post I linked above:

Library of Congress Subject Headings, which are rooted in what Amanda Ros, a cataloger at Texas A&M University calls “the straight white American male assumption.” Research from Ros shows that about one-tenth of Library of Congress Subject Headings contain the word “men” in the title, compared to the number of subject headings that include “women.” Ros finds that without gender, race or geographic qualifications subjects containing the word “astronauts” in Library of Congress Subject Headings can be assumed to mean white American men. As Ros illustrates in a 2019 article for The Conversation, “Women are designated with ‘Women astronauts’ and ‘African American women astronauts,’ but there is no subject heading for male astronauts. A book about astronauts who are men would have the general subject ‘Astronauts,’ unless the racial identity prompted the use of a subject like ‘Hispanic American astronauts’ or ‘Indian astronauts.’ Likewise, a book about Russian astronauts would have a geographic subdivision added: ‘Astronauts – Soviet Union’ instead of ‘Russian astronauts.’

and even if their shortsightedness in designing this system wasn't malicious in intention, it is harmful in practice, especially when marginalized groups are the ones most in need of protection by libraries.

it's not that dissimilar from the conversation around software and artificial intelligence: programs are being taught that cisgender heterosexual white man is the default, and so the machine system adjusts poorly to the innumerable variations on that assumed "default."

so uh just to say, if prejudice informs the design of an organizational system -- even unintentionally -- the system will have ingrained prejudices of its own. but, I think I should note, librarians are aware of this, and are working on adjusting the resource descriptors to be inclusive as well as accurate. I remember reading in grad school about initiatives to change subject headings, and I'm pretty sure that task is a part of my workplaces diversity, equity, and inclusion strategic plan. the problem is being addressed, it's just a big and complicated one.

[ramblingroommate]

Part 3 (part 1 & part 2)

Only his fourth month on the job? Oh he’s new new, that’s interesting! And explains why he’s taking this so bad, poor baby

I have to say this also puts that whole stealing the truck thing in a different context. From the way they were talking I was under the impression he had a long history of doing things like that (like he had been working with them for a year or two), but he just started working there so it probably was the first time he did something so dumb. He fucked up once Bobby let it slide, he did it a second time he fired him. Oh my god he got fired after four months on the job

It was deserved but still. It also makes sense that he was so sorry about everything and said he realized in that moment how much he cared for the job.

Oh baby no don’t say that. Yikes.

He’s taking the guy’s death so hard and it’s clear he’s angry because he wishes he could have saved him, but going to his funeral and telling his sister it’s his own fault he died that’s just… oof

Yeaaah, that’s pretty much what I expected after what Buck said. Still hurts tho

This episode has been brutal on Buck

I LOVE how Bobby handled this. He knew immediately what was off but didn’t address it while on the job and with a person’s life on the line. Too often this kind of shows do exactly that to up the tension, but it always takes me out. This reaction just feels more realistic to me.

And now they address it! Love it.

Also “I know I let you down”? They really want me to feel for Buck, huh? Cause it’s working

LOVE this scene where they communicate without talking. I’m actually really liking this episode in general! It already feels like a step up from the first one.

It probably has to do with the much more realistic calls and discussions they are having, they’re more my cup of tea

Buck tried out for the Navy SEALs, interesting tidbit of backstory. I like when info get sprinkled in like this, instead of being dumped all at the same time when a storyline requires it.

Also really liked the explanation of something as horrifically tough as the navy seals giving him trouble not for the physical torture of it all but because of the emotional repression required

If Buck is one thing it is a caring person who takes things at heart. Makes sense he dropped out because he couldn’t be just a machine

This is Buck’s character in a nutshell. Wanting to be cool and tough yes, but most of all wanting to help.

I have to say it’s interesting to see which characters they are focusing on and developing more in these first two episode. Bobby is probably number one, closely followed by Buck and Abby. Maybe it’s all those Bs in their names lol

Talking about going to therapy after a traumatic event? In a tv drama? IS THIS A FUCKING MIRACLE?

I’m shocked, these shows -almost every show actually- usually pretend they’ve never heard of therapy so they can keep their characters traumatized and the tension high

You and most men, honey. It’s cultural upbringing

Also, that’s an extremely attractive therapist… are they going to get together later down the line? I hope not

Wait what? We just… cut away?

Alright, I get it. They’re going back and forth between Buck’s therapy and Athena and her husband’s.

I got really confused there for a moment lol

So her main grievance is that Michael made her feel like a fool and not that he lied to her for decades.

….

Actually, I love that lol. It makes sense with her character: as a proud black woman on the force, she probably has had to use her confidence as a shield for quite a long time. The last thing she wants is show everyone that she was blindsided and “fooled” by her own husband

Oww that’s actually really sweet. When she’s out of her uniform she shows a much more compassionate side. I like that the show is drawing this difference very clearly

It also makes the whole “I always knew you were gay” trope (which I usually hate) a little bit better in this case

And we’re back with Buck! I have to say I’m not loving this back and forth, I forget what they were talking about by the time we switch back. The talks on their own are really well done which is why I don’t want to lose any pieces

This also makes more sense: they have lost people since Buck joined but it was more along the lines of “we got there and there was nothing we could do”. Now that I think about it didn’t a woman jump in the first episode? But in that case Buck wasn’t directly involved. This was the first time they got there in time, he got involved, did everything right and the guy still died. It probably feels very unfair (like “I did everything right, why didn’t he do his part?”)

Okay Michael has my attention now! I didn’t really care about him in the first episode, I don’t know why. He just felt kinda… off? His behavior just came off as weird to me. Too forcefully happy and positive. It’s okay to be happy because you finally feel comfortable enough coming out, but you’re also an adult and know this change won’t be easy on your children right away and might take some time getting used to. He was acting like he expected everyone to be over the moon for him and celebrate right away (I understand wanting to be accepted but you’re basically telling your children their parents are getting a divorce, pump the brakes).

This conversation makes me like him a lot more tho, peels back that mask of forced optimism and reveals some of his hardships

Also he has a boyfriend!!! Things get spicy

I was wondering when we would get here! Buck definitely blames him which is a natural response/defense mechanism to that kind of traumatic event. It’s also true that there may be a million different reasons why that guy decided to let go and we’ll never truly know. Sometimes not knowing is what makes us get stuck, prevents us from moving on. But we do need to move on anyway. I wonder how they’ll go about this

…

This is not what I was expecting

And now they’re having sex… why do you do this to me? It was going so well, I actually let myself hope they wouldn’t do this. It was an empty dream, if there is a young attractive woman in a show then she’s going to have sex, no matter how unprofessional

“I feel so much better” yeah because you used sex to feel better in the moment and avoid taking a deeper look at the underlying problem.

Is this trying to hint again at Buck being a possible sex addict? I’m still confused about that

Is the rope attached to the guy in the show or is that for the stunt and was left in?

It’s not present in the next scene so definitely a stunt rope that wasn’t hidden! I like when I can catch small mistakes in shows

Also this whole scene was hilarious

I love Bobby’s approach to the whole situation. The first time he noticed Buck’s hesitation he didn’t push, talked to him privately and gently, recommended he talk to a therapist and now he starts to push him (still gently) to get over his fear. Loving Bobby’s character so far

Aaaaand I need to make a part 4 because I reached the pics limit 🥲

Will definitely need to change some things around for next episode so I don’t do so many parts

[im-his-druidess]

Can you write plz headcannons or a story about being Rotti Largo’s secretary in a secret relationship with Luigi?? with smut ofc🖤Thank you so much

Oof. What a predicament that would be 😆

Honestly Rotti would know about the secret relationship early on, but decides to stay quiet. Mostly out of curiosity to see how long the "secret" lasts and if one of you slip up, but also because Luigi's temper has calmed a bit since you two became a thing and is relieved at the lessening bad publicity Luigi would normally bring.

Luigi would shower you with gifts in secret, giving you passing lingering touches when you walk past him, and he would make sure to attend every function his father throws just so he can watch you from afar.

Would definitely visit his father more just so he can see you and possibly talk to you for a few fleeting moments in public.

Expect to be called into Luigi's office for a "meeting" only to be completely railed on his desk with his hand over your mouth. Grunting in your ear how much he misses you and your pussy the entire time. He would randomly pull you into a storage closet to push you down on your knees, hissing at you to be quiet while unbuckling his belt, and would also drag you to his car so he can fuck you there on your lunch break.

Would also sneak into your home or sneak you into his home. All in an effort to be with you without paparazzi or his father finding out about you two. Those times you will not be leaving the bed anytime soon. All his sexual, and regular tbh, frustrations would be released on you and there has been a time or two where you had to call out the following day because you could barely walk.

Luigi is stupidly proud of those days. Completely smug when he calls you to "check on you" and listens with a smile as you yell at him. Blaming him for the frozen ice pack you have in-between your legs to help with the tenderness.

He would cheekily send you "get well" flowers.

Despite him sneaking around both Rotti and Amber know what's going on, but keep their mouth shut because Luigi is stabbing less and his temper is being somewhat controlled.

Pavi is the last to find out and is completely blindsided.

[spindle-girl]

Daybreak 1.4

Fight fight fight fight!

I wanted to see something more than just his feet, but as I started to raise my eyes, looking through the hair that had come loose from my braid, my eyes were forced down, until they were staring at the road.  I heard the scrape of another person’s feet as they climbed down from the truck to the street.

this is going to be a fun power. hello August Prince 2.0

Drive away, I thought, willing Jasper to think the same.  Be okay, drive away.  Leave me.

don't be ridiculous Victoria they're not going to--

I heard the chugging of the bus, the battered engine protesting as the vehicle started to reverse, pulling away.

annnd nevermind. i guess it is five capes they're staring down. i wouldn't be confident in their chances if it was just one, but still. kinda sucks for her to be left behind like that

“Plans change,” Lord of Loss said.  “You’ll learn that sooner or later.  Our clients hired us to capture an ex-villain who made a bystander lose her child.  I don’t think they’d be pleased if we let another bystander get hurt while we carry out the task.”

i thought this was going to turn into a hostage taking. i guess it still might. is the boss Teacher? Rain's cluster?

I made myself be calm.  I exhaled slowly, and the exhalation came out as a shudder.  It wasn’t because I was hurt, but because the memories were close to the surface.

oof

“Yep.  Mostly unharmed.  The woman who lost her kid wants to have words with her.  Shout at her, make her feel bad.  She and some others paid a lot of money to make it happen.  Then we drop her back off somewhere near here and drive off.”

i had something written up for this about how bad the plan was but then three paragraphs later it turns out Blindside is lying here so back to Teacher or Cradle i think his name is

The volume of it was such that I only barely heard Blindside’s exclamation of pain.  My ears rang- but the gun had to have been right next to the villain mercenary’s ear.

cool!

Awe.  Catch them on an emotional level.

pretty sure this would just register as fear from Blindside, right? awe is for allies/friendlies, fear is for enemies

I liked that it was the first thing he’d asked.  Gilpatrick’s five pound of gun speech taken to heart.  Less than five pounds of weaponry, more than fifteen pounds of protection, twenty five pounds of support and problem solving.  Jasper’s first thoughts were on the latter.  Those were supposed to be the priorities, the ratios.

i'm not sure those two things correlate here Victoria. he saw you get thrown out of a moving vehicle then get in a fight with a supervillain, are you okay is the typical response. i also don't like Gilpatrick so that may be coloring things

“I’m a good guy too,” Mar said. “Stay put,” I said, firm.

lol

End Thoughts:

so Blindside wasn't exactly August Prince 2.0, but i liked the gun solution Victoria came up with. a bit confused on how the impromptu flail worked, that still seems like a direct attack, but i'm assuming that's just power specifics

[madrone33]

I finally listened to Hadestown! 🎉

Starting with the Original Cast Recording, ‘cause might as well do it in release order. Loved it! Groovy music. Snickered. Cried. Wrote down my reaction as I went, so if you're chill with rambled thoughts and observations, here you go lol

(Soz for any typos, I was touch typing most of the time, and I've edited it but probs missed stuff)

Road to Hell (Live)

Oh it’s JAZZY. Huh. Didn't expect that, but I am living.

I like how at the start they’re simulating a train’s chugging.

Those call and response harmonies tho *chef's kiss*

Kinda reminds me of Udad.

Oh that’s Hermes!

“It’s a sad song” he says, while singing the boppiest of bops.

I like that “suitcase full of summertime” line.

“About someone... who tries.” Oho, we’re gettin into it now! *rubs hands together*

Also, I completely get now why Jorge said that first draft of EPIC: The Musical Hermes was like Hadestown.

Livin' It Up on Top (Live)

That’s a smooth transition👌

Persephone’s voice is really cool. Kinda rough texture?

Oh I didn’t realise Persephone and Hades would be having a turbulent relationship in this.

Oooh Orpheus’ voice is smooth.

They’re all so happy huh. Welp, you know there’s gonna be a crash in their future.

Orpheus seems really grateful for Persephone’s... graciousness? When he said that she'll always fill their cups and they'll raise them to her and stuff. Theory: either she’ll have a soft spot for him later, or he’ll feel betrayed and blindsided by the more cold side of her later.

All I've Ever Known (Live)

I don’t know anything about Eurydice, but is this her song?

Ah yeah Orpheus is singing, so it must be.

Oop. Foreshadowing.

Way Down Hadestown (Live)

Hermes is back!

“Bored to death” HA

“Graveyard” wow the puns/metaphors are going hard XD

I can’t tell who’s singing lmao. This is like when I listened to Hamilton for the first time. I’ll need lyrics, or familiarity RIP

The coins as the percussion/tambourine is a nice touch.

Hades’ voice is DEEP.

They haven’t mentioned gods yet, I don’t think? Just the Fates, right? It sounds more like a mining operation metaphor for mythos right now, hmm.

Epic II (Live)

King of diamonds and spades - like the playing card suits, but also like the mining operation.

It’s the La la la la thing from Wolfy’s animatic! Almost. A different rendition - I bet I'll hear that later 👀

Why is it called Epic II? Where’s 1? Am I missing something?

Chant (Live)

Oh they’re doing overlapping meodies!!

Ah wait this is Eurydice now, gotta go back a few seconds to catch that. I keep getting her mixed up with Persephone 😅

Oh now we’ve got Eurydice and Orpheus relationship troubles? Huh, I kinda assumed they’d be the perfect couple till her death.

And a semi callback to her song, nice.

Hay Little Songbird (Live)

DAMN his voice is deep!

Is this Eurydice??

Is- Is Hades seducing her? To work for him of smth? Ummm.

Not the canary!

That shaker sounds like a rattlesnake, and it does not bode well for a little bird.

When the Chips are Down (Live)

Oh hey I was right! It is a metaphorical rattlesnake!

Does she choose to go to the Underworld of her own volition? I thought she like- died.

Gone I'm Gone (Live)

She does??

Ouch. She sounds so resigned.

Is this a metaphor for her starving to death? Oof.

The harmonies!!

Wait for Me (Live)

“Six feet under” oh yep.

“Lay low, stay outta sight” - getting Hamilton's Stay Alive vibes.

“Don’t look back” ah. FORESHADOWING.

Ohhh the River Styx being a high wall is so smart!

“And don’t look no one in the eye” I must be too deep in the Odyssey related fandoms, because I'm seeing puns where there are none lmao

The HARMONIES!

Poor Orpheus, but I mean, he was kinda being a bit… naive? If he didn’t prepare for winter and just went off in his own head to make songs?

Why We Build the Wall (Live)

Free from who?

Enemy? 👀

(Yes, I'm aware I'm being led into asking all the questions he wants me to ask, but in my defence, it's very effective.)

Oh huh. Wasn't expecting it to be poverty, tho maybe I should've.

Him calling them “My children” plus the chanting is uh. Why does this sound like cult propaganda?

His voice sounds like the Ozymandias poem guy.

Also giving Frollo “She ran, I pursued” vocal vibes.

“Behind closed doors” - ominous.

Ha! Ok nice subversion.

Our Lady of the Underground (Live)

Persepone is a drug dealer XD

That’s a strange note on “there’s a crack in the wall”

Oh no, am I supposed to remember all these band member names? *crying*

Way Down Hadestown II (Live)

Bringing back motifs I see.

The pickaxes as percussion is cool.

Oop, Eurydice is getting a bit of a wake up call.

Chant II (Live)

Ooooh does the ‘backdoor’ Hermes meant, mean that Orpheus doesn’t have to ‘die’ to get there? ‘Cause he didn’t sign anything, which is a metaphor for him not actually being dead in the myth, so he can still leave.

“Hungry for the underworld” - the pomegranate?

And now Eurydice and Orpheus are singing half the La la la la tune each as if to each other from across the Underworld!

Ooh I LIKE those slant rhymes! "Young man, you can strum your lyre, I have strung the world in wire."

Oh this is where Orpheus sings his plea!! I know this is a thing because of Udad's Underworld Blues lol.

Epic III (Live)

The harmonies 🥺

Oh! It’s that part from Wolfy's animatic :O

I’m tearing up bro.

Just thinking that Eurydice was so upset with Orpheus for focusing on writing his song about Hades and Persephone, but it's that very song that is giving him a chance to sway Hades' mind. But on the other hand, if he'd focused less on the song, he never would've had to use it, y'know?

Word to the Wise (Live)

Ha the Fates(?) doing Hades’ inner monologue like, yeah bro u screwed yourself.

Uh oh this is probs where Hades comes up with the ultimatum. Wait no don't-

His Kiss the Riot (Live)

Those strings are creepy.

Belladonna? Oh the poisonous flower.

Did he call Orpheus the Jack of Hearts?

That acordian is awesome.

Fuck, I knew it.

He sounds like the guy who does the creepily ominous monologue in Micheal Jackson's Thriller.

Promises (Live)

Oh huh. It’s my theory from the 2nd song but it's Eurydice feeling betrayed that the world isn't always plentiful and not Orpheus?

Those strings are gorgeous!

Oh! A duet!

When the couple actually works out their shit:

“I do” omgggg!

KEEP WALKING. DONT LOOK BACK.

Wait for Me II (Live)

Aww that’s nice. Persephone and Hades are gonna try too!

Oh no not the “wait” like in Hurricane-

Doubt Come In (Live)

Oh noooooo

KEEP GOING. JUST KEEP GOING. SHE’S WITH YOU

OH NOOOO DON’T FALTER

LISTEN TO HER! HOLD ON! KEEP GOING!

... Oh god

Road to Hell II (Live)

NO THERE'S A FUCKING AD

Hermes sounds so sad but resigned. Like, 'Oh well. I knew it would turn out like this, but I'd hoped.' Which like. SAME.

The instruments stripped away so it's only silence and one voice is so good.

I can just imagine Orpheus collapsed shell shocked on stage as Hermes not unkindly pushes him to go on.

That reprise and ending is so fucking good AHHH omg no regrets. Some regrets. Whatever, it was good.

... Time to listen to it again with lyrics :D

And then I'm gonna listen to the Original Broadway Cast Recording!

[sugar-omi]

Saw your last ask about the eloping and then was just thinking if the MC left with Mr. Wedding planner considering some of his lines in the DLC and the Taylor Swift song (and I am so sorry Cove I love you too but oof this went straight to my brain from all the angst and wanting on both sides)

ahhhh im,,, assuming youre thinking what im thinking n that is MC leaving cove to be w baxter bc that angsty idea came into my mind in the middle of writing that request and i have some ideas on it :(( listen to this playlist for the full effect 👍👍 ik a lot more songs i could add but i left it w olivia rodrigo n conan gray

tags : Angst (with happy ending for cove lol), (emotional) cheating, breaking up, your family n friends ar upset w you to say the least, your fam and friends goes low/no contact

synopsis : you leave cove to be with baxter, this is how everyone reacts.

[this is based off this post: "eloping with baxter", where alternatively you leave cove for baxter.]

*edited because i forgot to add derek's reaction.

please break it off before the wedding. if you leave him at the alter, cove would be thoroughly destroyed and your immediate family would prbly end up disowning you and/or going very low contact.

breaking off the engagement was and is a really hard thing, but you do it anyway to be with baxter

i wanna touch on how your family n friends reacts to the break up first...

well lets just leave it at cove's parents don't talk to you anymore and you are not welcome even near their house

in fact cliff even moves out of sunset bird because he's so distraught and if cove comes to visit, which he does and even moves in with his dad, he sees how sad cove is and it kills him

he regrets ever moving to sunset bird and asking you to be his friend.

cliff never forgives himself for this, even though it isn't his fault, he feels like it is and even if (and when) cove gets over this betrayal, cliff hates that this happened anyway.

cliff doesn't send you any text, he just blocks you

but if you send a text before he can do so, which is possible since he's busy comforting his son

then he responds like this..

"please don't text this number anymore. and leave my son alone. you've really betrayed him.. me too. i thought you were a good person y/n. i hope you're happy with him"

kyra leaves you a very scornful message and then blocks you

she refuses to waste her breathe or time on someone who hurt her baby

she starts by saying how much she loved you and everything you did for cove, but ends it with how she can never forgive you for leaving cove like this

"don't bother apologizing. everyone had their faith in you to love and take care of cove but you've really blindsided him. you're no longer family to us, leave us alone."

your family is very disappointed

even though they don't cut you off, you're distant and if you marry baxter, they don't come celebrate with you

your mom is surprisingly very tender about it and she is the one who misses you the most

she cries over your pictures when you were growing up, and when everything was perfect

she knows you're an adult and things happen, this is the way the cookie crumbles sometimes but the holden's were like family too and everything is just hard

she can't even look at cove when she sees him

once she even broke down crying in front of him, she could see the dark circles under his eyes and yet he still smiled at her and gave his best "hello"

cove ends up comforting her in the middle of the grocery store parking lot...

she doesn't leave the house for awhile. she's so ashamed and embarrassed because she can hear the whispers of the townsfolk

"i wish they were kids again..."

your ma calls to yell at you.

ma doesn't ever get mad, if anything mom was the "bad cop" growing up and did most the iron fisting

but your ma can't believe you'd do this. she understands that sometimes you fall out of love with someone or have deeper feelings for someone else but.. you knew cove for 15 years and you leave for someone like baxter, who hurt you?

shes just blinded with rage and sadness, even thought she's yelling she ends up crying

she tells you not to come around for awhile, she can't bare to look at you and look at cliff (and cove) the next day

"please don't bother coming home, you're not welcome here for the foreseeable future. i thought we raised you better than this."

your sister doesn't know what to do

she never expected this from you

she hugs you while you cry, you're still her sibling but she also can't forgive you so easily

she and cove weren't close, but definitely closer than baxter and she saw how much he loved you. and she sees how much he's hurting, as he's slowly gathering all his stuff out of your shared house.

she helps him pack his stuff and gives him a hug, lets him cry and tells cove that he's always been like family, and will always be

she watches him cry in his car before finally driving off and suddenly liz is so mad

all this upset and upheaval for what? a traumatized, flirty victorian-emo man who stayed for a summer and told you to fuck off and then came back 5 years later?

she doesn't yell, but between the quiet and half empty house, liz scolds you and flies back home the same night...

"i love you but i can't believe you threw this all away for someone you knew for ONE summer 5 years ago... i'm so disappointed in you."

lee is the one who comforts you the most when you cry

but you can see the disappointment in her eyes

she calls you a lot less, and she doesn't scream in excitement at you anymore. especially if you're with him.

one night, she even whispers into the dark room, having thrown a blanket over you and thinking you are asleep.

"i thought you were better than this..."

your friends are so surprised

they never saw this coming at all

im (not) sorry to say but you are now friendless :)

miranda is the one with the greatest fury

she leaves several voice messages where she is yelling and cussing you out...

"lose my number! i can't believe you'd leave cove for your wedding planner! someone who hurt you 5 fucking years ago!" "you need to get a grip on reality if you think you're gonna live happily ever after. screw you, you-"

terry is with miranda at the time so she cut off the last message before she could share her new nicknames for you

terry's disappointment is immeasurable.

he tries texting you and asking whats going on before he asks you to meet him for coffee

thats the last time you see him before he sends you on last text...

"i hope you're happy y/n... i really cherished our friendship but i can't trust someone who did this to their partner and one of my best buddies... goodbye."

derek is ready to fly over to cove immediately, and he does.

derek helps cliff get cove settled and calmed down, he even makes dinner while cliff helps cove at least get a grip on reality again...

"i'm so surprised you did this y/n... i thought i knew you better but i guess not... listen, i gotta finish dinner, cove hasn't eaten in a couple days. i'm sorry but cove is my best friend, i hope you're happier now.. goodbye."

cove is ruined, to say the least.

somehow he expected it though..

you were dating cove when baxter came that summer, but he saw how you looked at him... it was with a sense of longing. he supposes it was only a matter of time before you decided you wanted a taste of baxter ward, he just hoped it would never come...

you dated baxter that summer, and he saw how distraught you were when he left you so brutually.. cove thought you really loved him, that you finally got over baxter. but apparently he was wrong, you were just patching your wounds until baxter could put you back together...

you never dated baxter, but cove saw how you looked at him with longing and cove always wished you would look at him like that. i guess you just turned your eyes to him until you could finally have the one you wanted...

cove loved you so much, and now that you've broken up he feels like he'll never recover

cove's personality does a whole 180

if he was "warm", he's not anymore. he can't bring himself to smile and laugh and socialize when his chest feels so hollow yet like he's been stabbed with pins and needles...

if he was already "cold", i need you to imagine him being even colder...

he still says his "please and thank you"'s whenever its necessary, but anything other than a hum when affirming to the cashier that he found his groceries okay

or telling the fast food worker what he wants to eat, which he usually orders online in that case, then he doesn't really talk too much

everyone can see how distraught he is even though he tries to distract himself

he cooks meals from scratch, he even learns how to make bread just to keep his mind away from it all

he tries to surf or look for shells but it just ends up hurting more because he as so many memories of those things with you

his whole childhood was with you... you gave him a childhood and you're the reason he enjoyed life so much, you made him so happy...

cove really tries to keep his head above water but even with the love and care from his parents, he's drowning...

its like when he was a little kid all over again but this time he's the one going through the break up

sometimes he snaps at his dad to please leave him alone and he runs off to the guest room crying.

he's so overwhelmed, overstimulated in every way and hurt.

he feels like he'll never recover from this one

when he does "get better", its still a total change from who he used to be

he definitely keeps his friend circle tight and dating isnt even on the table, and wont be for a long time.

fuck it probably takes him another 15 years to get over you.

all he knew for the last 15 years of his life was you, and now he has to do without you so its hard.

some days he falls apart again, because things are so much harder now that he has to take care of himself in every way possible

you reopened his trust and abandonment issues...

he has a date with olivia rodrigo and conan gray (see above for playlist)

when everyone finds out you eloped with baxter they lose their fucking minds

your ma doesn't even text or call you. you can't even hear her in the background when your mom calls because she can't believe you'd elope to him after all this, no matter how much time goes by...

your mom feels hurt again. it just makes everything so real and she feels sick thinking that baxter is now her son-in-law

your sister calls to yell at you. its less than a 5 minute phone call, she just can't believe you married him...

lee doesn't bother sending any congratulations, doesn't even like your pictures on social media. the next time she texts you she blames it on work, and thoroughly avoids talking about baxter

you better hope miranda and derek don't see it.

derek was certainly the most peaceful when the break up happened, but he would definitely unblock you just to tell you how disappointed he is and he definitely cusses at you.

""i can't believe we were ever friends.""

terry is angry too, but he cries more than anything

he misses having all of you together, this just reopens the wound of how things turned out...

if and when cove finally sees or hears the news, if this happened soon after your breakup he would lose his shit.

if you elope soon after breaking up: it takes everything for him not to throw his phone.

he definitely goes to the gym for a bit to work out some energy. he's so sad but most of all he's angry

that should've been you getting married but you're with him instead.

if you elope later after breaking up: it hurts for awhile. but it doesn't tear him up as long as it did when you broke up

but the first night he does look at your smiling face and he misses you.

in the morning he's talking to his dad and he does realize that its better like this

that you just decided that baxter had everything you needed, and its not cove's fault

he hopes you're happy with yourself

unfortunately, this isn't a bad bone in cove's body to wish you ill.

but he does hope you aren't as happy with baxter as you were with him <3

if he runs into you for any reason, maybe because your moms finally let you come over or you happen to be in town or something

cove smiles at you...

it's unsettling

especially since this is the first time you've seen him since the breakup and its been years

you start talking a bit, you with very big eyes and a shaky voice

cove used to be so sensitive but now that he's in front of you again he seems so unaffected...

"y/n." "y-yes?" your heart is jumping in your chest... "i hope you're happy now." you pause, looking down and twisting your wedding band on your finger. "i dont know... some days i'm happy enough, but most days i.. i think about the what if's...." cove nods. somehow he feels satisfied hearing that, but he'd never admit it. "well i hope you can get over it, you made your decision so you need to make it work. goodbye y/n..."

in the end cove is so much stronger, of course he's still vulnerable with people, he's still a crybaby but the walls he's built around himself are high and it took a lot of therapy for him to get over the betrayal

when cove does start dating again and if he gets married especially, your mom's are in the pictures...

he looks so happy, so does cliff and kyra

if your mom's are in the pictures, especially the wedding pictures, it saddens you because you have no pictures of your family with baxter, it doesn't matter how many years go by.

hopefully you're happy with your decision <3

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Joe always make me think of the Kelsea Ballerini lyric: were you blindsided or were you just blind?

Whether it was intentional or just oblivious, he was not picking up what she was putting down but still seems somewhat surprised that she actually walked away.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah Joever immediately made me think of Rolling Up the Welcome Mat and specifically that line.

And also: For a while the shoe fit, but then I outgrew it. (Staying only made me real good at pretend, and I hope I never leave me again… Oof.)

I do agree that he was probably surprised she actually left for good. I get the impression that it was a lobster-boiling-in-a-pot situation (for both of them). Things didn’t go from great to bleak overnight; issues piled up over the years and because like I think most women in heteronormative relationships, Taylor bore the brunt of the emotional labour in it. I think he liked living his London Boy life which was a novelty to Taylor for a time but the further removed she was from the situation that drove her to retreat and the more she wanted to branch out, the more the realities of their personalities began to clash.

And truthfully, I know so many people who have been in similar relationships that it’s why Joever just does not feel at all mysterious to me on a macro scale. (Taps Rae’s “all breakups are the same” sign.) I have a friend who did stick with her flavour of Joe in very similar circumstances (and now has kids with him 🥴) and it’s… not good. Her partner isn’t deliberately awful to her, but he’s a homebody who likes his life the way he likes it and while he doesn’t stop her from doing her own thing, also doesn’t understand why she’d want to go out or do xyz or wants him to do abc. (Do not ask me why they chose to have kids together but anyway.) So while I’m not at all giving Joe grace in this because again, whatever he did or did not intend still hurt her incredibly deeply. But it’s just… I think there’s a certain nuance where you can call his actions terrible without necessarily turning him into a cartoon villain (unless different information comes to light).

[satancopilotsmytardis]

You know, I've gotten so used to how you write things, that I didn't question why the chapter started the way it did. I just thought "oh, Tanco's doing funky writing again, cool" no questions asked. It didn't even occur to me that there might be something missing.

Although the new context is fun. Muscular is a bitch and Shig shoulda killed him. Shig having to warn everyone not to let the doctor take any sort of DNA from them because they absolutely didn't consent to it.

Meat smoothies. Nice. Spinner gets dressed down by Shig before he even met Stain, and then gets one from him too. Poor gecko guy. He's such a an awkward weirdo and I love him for that.

Seeing the small buildup to the porn gave a lot more context, because Dabi realizes that he might be, just the slightest bit, attracted to Shig, only to have that torn away when the rando appears. Oof.

So much was missing! 😭 I'm glad that you went back and read it! Poor Spinner is just a Mess in my fics, but he's gotta grow up too and get over the villain worship and be his own person!

And poor Dabi just thought that it was gonna be a normal night after Shig's meeting only to get blindsided by lust RIP

Thanks for commenting!

[subzeroparade]

Hello! I come bearing a Bloodborne lore ask, as I'm curious to hear your interpretation of how/why the Moon Deal went down - especially since your Laurence strikes me as the sort who doesn't make deals lightly. What spurred him to it? Was his seeking an audience with the Moon Presence a consequence of ambition, or one of desperation (or something else entirely?) Did it go according to plan?

Oof okay. I have Thoughts™, and they are still very scattered, but I’ll have to figure them out eventually because I think it would make a fun short fic (fun as in morbid, bittersweet, nothing ends well and no one is happy). But there are a few sparse details I’ve settled on for my own personal headcanon - 

It happens after the burning of Old Yharnam, and the burning of Old Yharnam doesn’t happen until at least a decade or more into the Healing Church’s existence. I think things went very well for quite a while - little to no adverse side effects from blood ministration, at least. Time enough for the Church to become a powerful and generally well-regarded institution in Yharnam. Time enough for it to accrue some political sway and jurisdiction over the city, as well. 

I think it (Moon Deal) happens as a response, in a sense, to the onset of the beast plague and the burning of Old Yharnam. Almost like an emergency switch, following a we have lost control of the situation realisation. 

There’s a lot I still want to parse out between Gehrman and Laurence if I eventually write this, but I like the idea that neither of them really understands what it means to make a “deal” with a Great One. If the extent of their experience communing with a Great One is mainly with Ebrietas - and Ebrietas seems content to just hang out in the Church basement and not bother anybody and let the Choir pet her? - then I think there’s a level of ignorance to the whole approach. A bit of desperation, sure - the one problem Vicar “fuck around and find out” Laurence can’t solve - but also the assumption that things will turn out fine once the Church figures it out, which won’t take too long, and Gehrman has nothing to worry about - etc etc. Gehrman is still hanging out in the Dream with the expectation that someone is coming to get him, so certainly no one thought about this as an actual death sentence, or even with any finality.

I think Gehrman volunteers. Again, I don’t think anyone really understands what it means to volunteer to “host” a Dream - or submit to one, however you want to define it. I think he offers because he’s long stepped away from official Church business since Maria’s death, and his own survival is a concept that gets a little more nebulous and meaningless each day - and because he can’t refuse Laurence, a man he has a complicated history with going back to Byrgenwerth.

I think the prevalent feeling in the aftermath is very much oh god what have we done. Since we, the Hunter, return to the Dream after each death - I do wonder if the Moon Presence taking Gehrman meant Gehrman’s actual death in the waking world. With no preamble or forewarning. Just the violent, unexpected immediacy of it, the empty space he leaves behind, and Laurence, blindsided. That’s what I’d like to write   ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ

On a lighter note I do like the idea that Laurence doesn’t shut up about the moon potentially solving all their problems for like, years before all this goes down, because he thinks he can figure everything out. Just a lot of “Okay but hear me out, what if the moon -"

[desceros]

SAM. SAM. SAM.

okay, let me be calm. woo-sah. ahem. i don't cry a lot. it's less a factor of "tch, i'm a rough and tough guy, emotions are for losers" and more the fact that i... just don't really cry too much anymore, and i'm not too sure why. in any case, the only things that really get to me nowadays are certain movies, TV shows, and highly stressful situations. i can count on one hand the amount of times something i've read has gotten me to tear up

...and now, the latest chapter has been added to that list. it wasn't even anything sad, not exactly. just... Viola-Chan's talk with Todd and Mikey. as someone who semi-recently went through a break-up (a bit over a year ago; we'd been dating for 5 years), while it was not at all the same situation, iiiiit definitely still stabbed me right through the chest a little too close to my heart. like, the whole thing with Donnie and Vi has been extra "oof, ouch, owie" for me for a while because of that, but now, it's just been emphasized - but i LOVE IT, don't get me wrong! it hurts in a good way! i need a Todd in my life, honestly

and Mikey, omfg - i literally dropped my phone to punch the air with joy when he hugged Vi, i was SO happy for her (us?). all the family talk... good god. she (we) deserve(s) every piece of goodness the world has to offer

now. about that ending. completely blindsided me. blew me onto my ass. tore me asunder. i really... REALLY did NOT see that coming. like, at ALL. i knewwwww Alopex was gonna come back, we all knew it, but i had an entirely different theory that i am now shoving right back down my throat. Vi can never go for too long without suffering, can she? you are a sick and twisted person (and i love it)

side note: fuck yeah, new Stardew update! i'm gonna play it with a couple of my friends tomorrow since they're all busy today, and i'm sooooo excited about everything i'm hearing so far. hope you have fun too! :D

sounds like you had a nice catharsis, which is exactly the mood for this chapter! and yeah, we all need a todd and a mikey. i feel like that lemonade would fix me. and yeah, viola-chan's always got something going on. that's what makes a fic fun! :D

im having a lot of fun on turtle time farm, hehehe. i started with the new farm layout where you get two chickens in the beginning, and i named them donnie and leo. there is currently an intense battle to see who gives me the most gold star large eggs. im screaming

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Do you believe in tarot? And mediums? Someone recommended a psychic medium to me, they say she is absolutely unreal because of how amazing she is. She even helped the FBI.

But I'm not going to lie, I'm really scared. I had terrible experiences with so-called mediums in my childhood, because of my family.

But the way this lady was described to me seems too good to pass up. It might even help me clarify and heal some things from my past. But I'm scared that she's just another scammer or that she's too good and I'm not sure I'm ready to know my future.

Oof that’s a tough one! TBH I have never gone to a psychic because I’m scared. Not because I believe that a psychic can read the future, but because I believe that some people are excellent at reading people. That means that this stranger can get under my skin and possibly influence my thoughts and decisions. I don’t think I’m gullible by any means, but there have been instances in my life where I’ve been completely blindsided by people who are experts at manipulating others. That’s why I aim to protect my psyche at all costs. Some people are more susceptible to persuasion than others. I feel like I’ve never been one of these people but I’ve still been burned. So I am VERY careful about whom I let in. By going to a psychic, you’ll be letting down your guard in a sense, since you’re paying for a service so you’re already more open to their opinion than to a random person’s. This thought absolutely terrifies me.

I work in the mental health field and I will be the first to tell you to vet your therapist/psychologist before setting up a meeting. I think the same should go for a medium. Because you are entering a space in which you will be mentally or spiritually vulnerable, and you need to know that you can trust this individual to guide you in the right direction. That is a lot of faith to put into someone you’ve never met.

I have trust issues, not sure if that’s apparent 😆

[darwinquark]

how much bitter exes / jealousy are we gonna get in the sequel? im like that one spongebob meme after reading the last chapter, I NEED IT!!!

oof, a lot lol

the first chapter is more so a stifling tension-fest because their meeting is unplanned and blindsides them both, and it also happens in a professional context, so in addition to having a shit ton of unresolved emotions they weren't prepared to have to confront that abruptly, there's the added layer of being professional in front of other people

then Veronica does something to piss him off without really meaning to, and then he does something that pisses her off kind of intentionally, and I'd say that's the point where they drop the niceties and we're in full on bitter exes territory for a bit. jealousy also factors into the sequel a lot more than in tkof, since they're both adults free to date whoever they want (and in a fun twist, jughead's debut novel's made him this up-and-coming literary darling, so a combo of that and growing into his looks a little more means he's getting more attention than he used to, which obviously doesn't get under veronica's skin at all). there's also a pretty disastrous double date planned

so to reiterate, a lot!

[inkovert]

*slides in* 8) All of these are for Mira, by the by! 🍀🎓 And also, I kinda know this one (especially the second, unless you changed much from the first draft), but I still am all for angst tonight anyway: ❤️✂️

Hello Jax! lolll always happy to answer questions about Mira - she's great.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Coincidentally just answered this one for Mira here but long story short she was inspired by one of my friends from high school who just was unapologetically all the things that women get condemned for being. Which is Mira in a nutshell. Also a tiny bit of her may have been inspired by Katherine from TVD but we don't need to talk about that.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since the story's inception! which was back when I was like...14? 15? Her name actually was Kathryn in the earliest drafts of this story (because: see above) but when I got a bit older and began the first of numerous rewrites this story would go through, I just shook my head and was like...we need to change this girl what are we doing. (Fun fact: Jeremy's the only other character who's name was also inspired by TVD, it was the name of the main character's brother from the show, but I didn't feel the need to change it because it grew on me...holy hell I am cringing at younger me).

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

*scrolls back to that scene from the first draft where Cami's watching a montage of videos Mira put together for her birthday party* Mmmm probably when she won 2nd place at the talent show for singing Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. Cami was there to root her on which automatically makes it a great memory, but, being an immigrant who didn't get a kind welcome when she first moved to the US, it was one of the first moments where she felt embraced by the community around her and regarded in a positive light for something that she loves to do.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Oof. So as you know Mira was in a toxic relationship in her early teen years so pretty much that entire period of her life. What is new to you in this second draft is that Mira's bisexual and this was her first relationship with a girl, which blindsided and shook her even more because she didn't expect that an abusive relationship could happen with a girl.

Ask me a question about my OCs!

[catwif3]

i have always been the person who was afraid of skincare because, as anyone else with sensitive skin knows, you can't just go TRYING things what if something TERRIBLE happens??? so i've been happy using the same products for decades (until they are suddenly discontinued without your consent, neutrogena)

and when you go to try to look things up i was like. no, this is overwhelming. what does all of that even MEAN. i would need to spend so much time to learn enough to make choices here! no thanks! i'll keep using the old stuff if it's "good enough!"

and i was so right!!!

i basically spent the last month putting myself through a four-week intensive course. i learned a ton of new vocabulary, economic factors, and science. just to be able to accurately judge the products i was thinking about putting on my face. this has literally been HOURS watching videos from beauty bloggers and dermatologists and aestheticians, but also a TON of reading, looking up products as they are mentioned, looking up the explanations on their ingredients, and learning to recognize key ingredients myself (vocabulary!!!!) this is insane

like i have found out why people make this their hobby and it is because there is SO MUCH stuff to learn it's impossible to learn it all without making it a fun hobby focus o_o;;;

luckily the main takeaway i have from it is: do you NEED any of this? ! NO! u can just keep using a cleanser that doesn't dry you out and a moisturizer that doesn't make you greasy. (however if you haven't found those, or you have concerns to address. oh boy. oof. there's so much information ur about to be besieged by. and literally if you just pick up the first week of the course and drop out you can get SO blindsided by side effects. it's rough out here lads.)

[uhohbestie]

read the most recent two chapters of tamn yesterday. after careful consideration im glad bro got cooked because i was so not expecting it and im so excited to see where the story goes from here. so so complicated. absolute power move btw - who needs two main characters anyway?

(i thought that, if anyone was going to die, it would be scar first and i was expecting a "you're gone and i can't ever apologise" but now that GRIAN died(?) it's more "you're gone and i can't ever forgive either of us" and that's AWESOME i love that bad things happen to characters (and i have a feeling that grian isn't gone for good... something nefarious is brewing))

This is such a fun opinion, I love it >:D

It was really fun for us reading our comments, after weeks of "I get why he's acting this way, but I still wanna flambe that man," how quickly the tied turned to "I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK." (the Nobody Knows meme but everyone in the party is saying 'push Grian into the sun' and we're standing in the corner going 'they don't know we're going to push Grian into the sun')

We're so glad it was unexpected, though! We were really hoping it'd come as at least a little bit of a blindside, and we're SO excited to dig into the complicated position it puts Scar in now. Technically what he asked for (a nice big break) but oof....... At What Cost.

[skepticalarrie]

Also I am new to the fandom and i have never seen this much of devotion in any fandom. So I believe they also know that we might be sad and frustrated for some time but eventually understand. Because they are not coming out in near future. So better take decision which helps there career. You guys have been with them for so many years without seeing even a single photo of them together. But you still believe they are together. So I think they have a lot of faith in your guys.

(I got the ask before that one as well, but I don’t want to publish because I don’t see the point of keep discussing it. But for some context, it was about babygate)

I’m not exactly sure how I feel about that, to be honest, anon. Because the thing is, we all react to things differently and personally I’m not here because I’m devoted to them, I’m devoted to myself. And through them, I get something very meaningful from this experience, and honestly that’s the only reason why I’m still here because oof… it hasn’t been easy.

I think they used to rely on us a lot in the past, I think it was really important for them that we were here listening to what they had to say and somehow making it real. But that changed. It’s obvious how their goals changed and that relationship with us changed as well, so sometimes it’s really confusing, we feel blindsided, the cognitive dissonance is fucking real. Personally I’m still adjusting and recalibrating trying to understand how I feel about everything. They really seem to play with both sides and use it to their benefit, so the thought of them thinking we’re going to stick around no matter what bothers the shit out of me. I’m not saying they’re wrong but also I can’t say I agree with their decisions, we’re punching bags and sometimes enough is enough.