#genuinely so funny to me

[justablah56]

yesterday I realized that my allo best friend is literally micro dosing on experiencing the thing that most aro and ace people go through since the vast majority of the people she hangs out with are either aro , ace , or both so any time she's talking abt her crush on someone shes like wow im so weird no one else ever talks abt the people they like and I literally looked at her and i was like dude . literally you're the "normal" one here . you just keep surrounding yourself with aro and ace people you are just being allo this is so funny

[sunfl0w3rmoon]

thinking about the ep of dr who when Cassandra brings in a jukebox and says “this is called an iPod, it plays music from earth’s greatest composers” and then it starts playing Tainted Love by Soft Cell

[yuriinadress]

Damn I can't believe they Edward cullened bruce

[merlindotpdf]

this is like the 4th year in a row with being in my chem's top 0.5% something is wrong with me LMAO

[born2b-beheaded]

I drank an energy drink to try to give myself energy to draw but now im on Roblox Courtroom Simulator Voicechat screaming at kids What.

[micechicken]

I just remembered the bowls we have that used to say "House of Ramen" now just say House.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼��" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[mikeluciraphgabe]

I like the use ‘canonically’ like they aren’t real people

I love the fact that Martin is canonically a really talented artist, so him and Chris go out and look for night creatures and document what they see in drawings.

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[wizardnuke]

hozier songs are all "i wouldn't be here without black artists" "you should kill your boss" "i love ireland :(" "DO Y OU NEED A DOG. I CAN BARK"

[katsinspats]

I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes

Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:

[evercelle]

joongdok so far to me. specifically chp 370

[umblrspectrum]

so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground

[vinecovered-mech]

There’s nothing quite like disneyland

on one hand your overhearing a couple that’s about to get a divorce and the other your listening to a parent and child sharing a brain cell while vibrating with excitement over a cookie that looks like chewbacca