#genuinely makes me very angry and sad
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omg did you see that our boat show is ending.
literally want to cry and bawl my eyes out. im so saddddd
i can’t believe this my favs are leaving us.
i have seen it. then I spent 20 minutes gaslighting myself into believing it wasn't real. now I'm still working on processing it. like I'm truly cycle through the stages of grief.
sending you a massive hug 🫶🫶🫶
(and i'm taking any and all recommendations for new upcoming hyperfixations)
#outer banks#obx#I knew I would never be ready for this show to leave me but I'm a lot less ready than I thought I would be alksdjfhlkasjdf#I genuinely believed we were locked in for a s6#and I think s6 feels like something I could be okay with you know#liv and I were talking about how we aren't angry at all about the way that its ending#when the writers and the cast know and we can appreciate it#but it still feels just slightly premature and that just makes me very sad#s4 has been locked in in a way that we haven't really seen from the writers room I think#I mean it's still obx but in terms of pacing and character work#I could use 2 more seasons of that#also thank god for brizz and liv they are seeing me at my worst klsjdhflkajshdflkas
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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guess what I finished watching
#genuinely I am bamboozled#I heard it was bad and I knew it was bad but I didnt realize the scene ITSELF was as horrible as that#its just. genuinely how fucking dare you for doing that#I understand the concept okay#the entire season and show has been foreshadowing eve's own death and I Get the concept of twisting that around#in the sense that her death comes from another's undoing and that her death comes from villanelle's protection#but the execution ????? even putting aside that the ending itself is shit and disingenuous for the characters. the EXECUTION OF IT#thats the part that has Genuinely stumped me#even the reveal at the very end with carolyn- at this point that means nothing#there's no leadup to it happening like I thought there would be it just Happens while theyre being happy and it's all over within 30 second#and then the show Ends#what the fuck#knowing it was coming didnt even help it just makes me more angry than sad#in the last two minutes???????????#goddamn#I am so fucking sorry to u all who watched this season as it aired#that is sick#after all the character development????#okay. I promise I'm done now. what the fuck. I went to bed immediately after watching and woke up ANGRY#sorry for the abundance of tags mygod#killing eve#killing eve spoilers#smokey speaks
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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“he roller skates!” “they’re air shoes.” is designed to kill me specifically because firstly that’s so fucking funny and the presentation and the line delivery is fucking amazing and also secondly shadow’s shoes are originally based on inline skates NOT roller skates (well technically inlines are a kind of roller skate but in a broader context “roller skates” are almost exclusively used to refer to quad skates. inlines have their wheels in a line, quads are quadragled) and his animation is 100% based on quad skating in prime BUT SHADOW IS AN INLINE SKATER ORIGINALLY HIS SHOES ARE BASED ON INLINE SKATES SA2 WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT INLINE SKATING I CARE IMMENSELY ABOUT THIS
#NOT EVEN JOKING ABOUT THE LAST BIT#THE GRINDING MECHANIC OF SA2 AND SOAP SHOES ARE BASED ON INLINE SKATES#PLUS THE CULTURAL CONTEXT OF THE TIME OF ITS DEVELOPMENT WOULDVE JUST BEEN CATCHING THE TAIL END OF THE ERA OF AGGRESSIVE INLINE SKATES#skateboarding but inline skating as well are crucial components to what sonic’s very personality and the tone/aesthetic of sonic adventure#also inline skating way way faster than quad skating#genuinely genuinely i’m not mad i’m not mad i’m not mad#prime is great this bit is great the animation of prime and shadow in prime is great shadow is great#i’m not even angry!! it’s such a good bit!!! it’s animated well! roller skates are more well known today!!!#BUT HAVE THEY CONSIDERED THAT I CARE IMMENSELY ABOUT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG AND INLINE SKATES AND SHADOW ON INLINE SKATES?!? NO!!!#his animation in sa2 and heroes and shth is based on inline skating also#his animation in 06 is quad based but it also sucks complete ass so it doesn’t exist to me#most other skating animations of his are mid and i haven’t analyzed them enough to tell#theres a large grace area i give cause i don’t expect animations to be 100% accurate to real movements#plus the air shoes while based on inlines are their own thing and i think it’s nice when they embrace that#BUT FUCK QUAD SKATES#i don’t hate quad skates inlines are just cooler by an order of magnitude to me and them being the default makes me sad :(#rambles#prime#action sport posting#<- yeah. thats a tag. it will be used more in the future
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#okay i need to vent a second#im literally heartbroken rn#this friend of mine just told me that she feels that ‘our friendship is starting to revolve around me’ bcs i asked her to help me once with#wheelchair practice and i was late to a meet up once and i am genuinely without words rn#like she’s been late multiple times and i’ve always let it go bcs i don’t think it’s that big of a deal but im late once and suddenly im an#awful friend#and yeah i need some more accommodations than most people but i feel like it’s obvious why#and to say that it weighs on u is genuinely cruel to me#cause i always try to make myself smaller so i dont bother people and u know that very well so to call me a weight is the cruelest thing#and she said that she feels like our friendship now is just about me discovering the world and her just being there#an insane thing to say when she knows how hellish these past years have been for me and how now im finally able to go out#it’s like am i not allowed to be happy?#i am so sad but also so angry#also the fact that she sent me this when she knows i’ve just started uni and im so stressed and overwhelmed is just beyond me#like does she even like me? does she care about me? she claims she does and then does this like wth#and i dont wanna be a bad friend and maybe she’s right and i am but im trying my best here#and im always there for her when she needs me so i dont get why she’s trying to make it seem like im not#like idek how to answer her#this is really not what i needed rn
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the one thing abt being hyper aware of ur flaws is that u can kinda make it a lil bingo game
#I had to ask my gf how I should like. act to my mom who was dealing w my older bro being arrested and my gma not doing too good#I had to ask lol#like. bro I think I’m the Devil and it scares me#and it’s not like I don’t care#I do. just differently I guess#I try and make sure to remind my ma to eat shower etc the things she struggles with#I usually try and … diffuse her negative sed talk even if I agree with it#I may not feel. what I’m supposed to fee but I act on it#I can’t love her but by god i never want to see her cry#both cause it makes me feel awkward and weirdly angry and also because. don’t be sad wtf :(#but like genuinely. if my mom wants a hug. I may not like it but fuck it#if it helps somehow I’ll be the hugger#I can be very useful and service full at times#idk my emotions are weird. I just don’t know how to interact with Her#none of us do in here
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Someone told me that he 'like hanging around with me' and he 'love my smile' today
#years after my birth im finally finding out the genuine joy of making friends#also relief. ive got so used for my mere existence to be an annoyance to other people as a child so its so important to me when people say#they like to have me around#had to turn down a very big socialization opportunity bc i was hungry and i couldnt come with him - will try to make up for it next time#what he said was totally platonic btw hes gay and im not a man#he also told me 'when i first met you i thought you were trans' and the urge i felt to come out to him and say 'YES ACTUALLY (but also here#the nuances:') but it came out of nowhere and there were bystanders so i didnt want to risk it and just. 'honestly im not sure' was the bes#half-truth half-lie i could muster#but hey he made me comfortable with coming out to him so one day perhaps#gosh i wish im not going to mess up this newly forming friendship (?) with my little to non-existent social skills#man also has the same dumb humor as me. i have to find a way to keep him around#my mom would burst into tears if she knew how much i smile talk and am open around him. not my fault he is a person whom you naturally feel#safe around#normally people ask me if im 'angry/pissed/annoyed/sad' because i have a resting bitch face and dont talk much to anyone#the surprise people must feel once they get to know me better.. granted i cant name any but whatever lol
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starting off your summer break being humiliated by an adult who you thought was kinder than that and having to then not be yourself and become small and quiet and artificially happy when you are aching so badly inside and it breaks down your confidence and patience and launches you back into an extremely insecure state and also you have to walk on eggshells the whole time for two weeks really does something bad to you i think
#i literally feel like i will never recover from that dumbass trip i truly think if i didnt have to be on it#that so very genuinely. i would not be in such an unstable fucked up state. genuinely. i can see how it lead to chain reactions#in this entire last month how it just dominoed into where im at. and jt makes me so angry and sad.#vent.txt
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I am so sad and so tired
#went to an indoor event on Saturday in support of some friends but it really didn’t feel worth the risk in the end#I fully masked but still#it also solidified that my close friends who were still “being Covid safe“#absolutely are not anymore#& that’s their choice but it’s sad & im tired#and if I or my fiancée get sick because I agreed to go to this stupid thing that lasted too long & was only tolerable cause I was drinking#im going to be very very angry#mostly with myself but also with everyone on this whole fucking planet#so many people are dying or becoming permanently disabled by this shit everyday#I want to fucking participate in life but it’s fucking impossible to do safely#I miss my friends I miss not being terrified I miss every semblance of normalcy I no longer have & will likely never have again#I’m so sick of it truly#this was just really the last straw for me seeing people I thought were making safe choices for themselves & others completely or barely#masked in a fucking bar#It’s whatever it’s just that they know where I stand & cant fucking give me a genuine heads up about their fucking actions#I wish we hadn’t gone really#I was too drunk to be upset then but I’m processing now & im just fed up#I have to go to work soon#i slept like shit#cryptid rants
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❛ 𝐎𝐇, 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ❜
SYNOPSIS: you're in a relationship with bakugou katsuki WARNINGS: tooth-rotting fluff 🎵: mr loverman by ricky montgomery
whether you're a stay-at-home mother, wife, or girlfriend-- or working a 9 to 5-- he sends you a text in the middle of his patrol asking if you've eaten anything for lunch yet. if you did, he'll ask what and if it was healthy or not. if you didn't? he's wiring money to your phone in the next 3 seconds even if you say you had it handled
he doesn't really forget his lunch, ever, but on the off chance that you find it still sitting on the kitchen table-- it's on purpose and you find yourself in his office scolding a cheeky katsuki
he often asks you, with a scowl, "are you giving me a kiss before i leave or what?"
if you lose something, he knows where it is. it's like second nature at this point. "babe, have you seen the remote?" he's already lifting the cushions underneath you
you notice the different sighs he lets out. you could already tell if he's genuinely angry, upset, sad, or even adoring you
you litter kisses along his beauty marks, freckles, tiny scars, and even those spots of discoloration
if you listen to sad music one evening and he's present? he's turning that off!! immediately!!
when you call him your "lover man" he gets so unbelievably warm under his clothes to the point where he's able to feel a bead of sweat run down his spine. he's flushed red, hands clammy, and he's throwing affectionate curses at you from the door because he was leaving for his night patrol. once the chilly air hits his cheeks, he lets out a breath he's been holding and doesn't miss the feeling of his lips quirking up. yeah, he's your lover man. kiri will be sending you a text in the next hour asking if you've done something to katsuki because he's been in a weirdly good mood.
your contact name for him as teens was bakublow and now its lover with an orange heart emoji
his contact name for you as teens was simply your last name and now its wife <3 (you did it as a prank, he blew red, and you told him you'd change it back but he was awfully persistent in not letting you touch it anymore)
when shopping for clothes, ingredients, etc. he makes it a rule to pay for everything. he makes a fuss about it, sure, but he'll yank you away from the register if you so much as stare at the cashier for far too long
at night, when his phone dings and he's busy shaving his beard in the bathroom, he calls out for you to see who it is. you have to tease him to say please. it's either work-related, spam, or one (or all) of the bakusquad pestering him to hop online and play a few rounds before it gets too late
he slides into bed with you and always, alwayssss gives you a forehead kiss. he doesn't forget unless he's very sleepy after an all nighter
NOTES: oh how i love him.
#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou x you#bakugou fluff#bakugou x reader fluff#bakugo x reader#my hero academia#boku no hero academia
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HIHII HRUU OMG THIS IS LOWK LIKE MY FIRST TIME LIKE ANONYMOUSLY ASKING SM BUT YEAHHH.... ANYWAYS ILL LITERALLY GIVE U THE SLOPPIEST BACK ARGCHING TOE CURLING EYE ROLLING HEAD IF U MAKE A ANOTHER PART OF THE SUKUNA MINI SERIES 👅👅
a/n: STOP I GENUINELY CACKLED, btw this one is my first attempt at smut sooooo… 🙈🙈🙈 also @17020
pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4
your body is moving before your fully awake, eyes puffy and vision blurred as you tried to come to your senses. a soft moan escapes your lips and your hand instinctively moves in between your thighs, landing on soft pink hair and gripping tightly.
“look who’s finally awake,” sukuna says with an evil grin. his tongue flicking your most sensitive spot. you gasp again and your hips buck into his mouth as he devours you whole.
“oh- oh fuck- ryo,” you whine and sukuna groans against you, your raspy and groggy moans making him harder than he already was.
“couldn’t help myself pretty,” he mumbles against your skin, tattooed hands gripping your plush thighs tightly, “jus’ looked so gorgeous f’me.”
you keen, your eyes squeezing shut, lip tucked into your teeth as your orgasm draws nearer. his hand lands roughly the inside of your thigh making you let out a soft yelp.
“cum for me baby.”
and you do. it’s delicious, the sensation igniting your whole body as you writhe beneath him. even in your cloudy state you can as he shifts, grinding his hard on into the bed and knowing the effect you have on him makes everything all the more pleasurable.
as you slowly come down, whole body flushed and panting softly. sukuna kisses the inside of your thigh before crawling upwards and pulling you into a kiss you. you grin, arms wrapping around his neck as you flip him over so that you’re straddling him.
you pull away, mouth open to speak when suddenly the bedroom door flies open and an angry yuuji is standing in the doorway pouting. before your boyfriend can say a word your tumbling off of him, wrapping a blanket around your bare legs and hurrying over to him.
“yuuji, what’s wrong sweetie?”
the toddler looks up at you with big, sad eyes and lifts his arms, wanting to be held. of course you oblige, scooping him up with one arm, the other hand still holding the blanket.
“did you a nightmare wake up?”
he sniffles and nods, burying his face in your shoulder. sukuna scowls at the two of you.
“damn brat, always stealing your attention away from me, huh?”
you roll your eyes and place yuuji down on the bed before using the blanket to hide you while you discreetly slip your shorts back on. yuuji crawls onto sukuna’s chest, nuzzling his little face into his big brother’s neck.
despite his grumpy face, sukuna’s hand instantly comes to rest on the child’s back, rubbing soothing circles.
now fully dressed, you slip back into bed beside them, cuddling up to your two favorite boys.
“you know very well I love you both equally… except i love yuuji just a little more.”
“wha- hey!” your boyfriend grumbles, flicking your forehead, “there’s no way you love this runt more.”
yuuji sticks his tongue out at his big brother.
“only when you’re being difficult… which is always.”
“take that back!”
#I NEVER KNOW HOW TO END STUFF UGH#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk smut#sukuna#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna smut#big brother!sukuna#straight from the notebook! <3
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I've been receiving a lot of inquiries since sharing my success story, and while I'm not planning to start a blog, I do want to address some common questions here.
Did I manifest everything from the void?
Yes, everything I listed was indeed manifested when I entered the void, as outlined in my story. I've had some successes with various experiments before, but none reached the level of my most recent attempt.
What was the most crucial factor in achieving the final breakthrough?
I wish there was a straightforward answer, but it probably boils down to the realization that no matter how much I complained or cried, I was determined not to give up. I would read success stories and find myself in tears because they mirrored the life I aspired to have. I wanted to shift realities, be wealthy, happy, and beautiful—it might sound vain, but that's what I desired. I longed to feel free, unbound by any world, and to pursue my own path. Who wouldn't want that? At some point, I asked myself, would I still be trying to shift at 30, while struggling with dietary issues caused by gut praxis disorder? If the answer was yes, what did that mean? It meant I wasn't going to give up. So, I kept trying different things, knowing that eventually, something would work. Inner work is essential, but I believe it's inevitable. The longest journey I've seen took seven years. Do I want that for myself? Absolutely not, but what if it happens? The very acceptance of that possibility means you're not giving up, so what does it matter?
What method did you use?
As I've mentioned, I've tried every method. The final one that worked was the morphic field. I don't really care whether it was the morphic fields or something else that clicked within me. As I mentioned earlier, I realized I was sad, but I knew I wasn't going to give up, so I let myself be sad. Who cares? Let me be angry; I'm still not giving up. So, why fight those feelings? I cared and was disappointed and scared, but I just decided to trust in the fields because, in the end, it didn't matter whether they worked or not. I wasn't giving up.
How do you feel now that you've achieved your dream life?
I've managed to transform my life and self-concept, and along with being incredibly happy, I feel a mix of sadness for everything I endured and pride for how I pushed myself before succeeding. Initially, I thought it would be hypocritical to say I love myself after I changed everything about myself, looks and life, but I realized this is my life, and I'm still the same person, just with desires that now align with my reality. Why would I want to be unhappy in a life that makes no sense to be sad in? I don't believe anyone deserves or doesn't deserve anything. Do what you want, pursue inner work if you wish, or just manifest your desires. Personally, I didn't feel the need to do the inner work after manifesting my dream life, but I know some people do, and that's beautiful too. Life is just beautiful.
How to mend your relationship with the void?
The only advice I can offer from my experience is to acknowledge that you're not giving up on it. It reminds me of toxic relationships where despite infidelity, they say, "I know where home is." Unlike those misguided people, the void genuinely serves its purpose and supports you. It already knows its home is with you, whether you realize it or not, and that's all that matters.
How did you exit the void state ?
Exiting the void was a simple experience for me. I simply took a deep, calming breath and set a clear intention to leave. The sensation that followed was like tunnel vision, where everything around me seemed to narrow and focus. This was followed by a profound sense of detachment from any sense of self, almost like becoming weightless or losing a sense of individual identity. When I finally opened my eyes, I found myself in a completely new room, confirming that I had successfully transitioned out of the void and back to reality with everything on my life
Did everything you wanted come true?
Oh, absolutely—and then some! I ended up getting things I didn't even know I wanted. The way I look now is even better than my Pinterest boards ever dreamed of. Like, I had this idea for how I wanted my room to look, trying to mash together different vibes and aesthetics, and it turned out way better than I could have pictured. I was stuck between wanting a curvy figure and that sleek Bella Hadid look, but somehow I got the best of both worlds, which is exactly what I was hoping for.
I wasn’t even thinking about changing my eye color, but it happened, and I absolutely love it. I thought I'd revise old friends, but instead, I found new, amazing people who fit into my life perfectly. Now that I’ve got a better sense of self, I see this is exactly what I really wanted deep down. Everything just fell into place so perfectly, and it feels like I've finally got a handle on what I truly wanted all along.
Can you manifest things for other people?
Well, yeah, but it’s kind of like it's really just about yourself in a way. I mean, there have been times when I managed to manifest things for my brother, but oddly enough, I struggled to do the same for myself. It's weird, right? I don't fully understand how manifestation works in every detail. I just kind of go with the flow and assume it works the way I want it to. If I can pull off all these manifestations, then why not just trust that I can manifest whatever I want, however I want it? That's the mindset I've adopted, and it seems to work for me.
What's it like being a master shifter?
It's like waking up and remembering who you truly are, and almost laughing at all the suffering you experienced. When you think about it, you might have lowkey created that suffering yourself, which is kind of sadistic, but instead of holding onto any negative emotions about the journey, I just appreciate my life more. It’s a mix of joy and bliss. I still remember my old life, sure, but somehow, this new reality feels just right. It's like destiny exists, and I’ve finally found mine.
This concludes everything for me, and I’ve decided I won't be continuing my blog any longer. I've shared a lot of helpful insights in the past, but I won't be actively posting from now on. Thank you all for the love and support. I’ve reached a point where I no longer have a reason to continue here, and soon, you won't either. Goodbye and take care!
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I was angry. I'm still angry. But sadness and exhaustion have overtaken that anger, and I have A LOT to say about this.
Dead Boy Detectives is a very special show to me. It occupies a ridiculously large place in my heart, and it's brought me joy in a way that only a few pieces of media ever have. When I watched it for the first time, Edwin Payne had my heart within minutes. By the end of episode one, Charles Rowland did, too.
It meant a lot to me, seeing such wonderful and nuanced queer characters brought to life in the type of paranormal story I have always loved. In these past months, Edwin and Charles have felt like real friends to me, and to never see them again without a satisfying conclusion to their story is something I have not truly processed. Same for Niko and Crystal and The Cat King - they should be back. But I haven't fully processed it yet, that they're not coming back, and yet I am still aggreived.
@netflix is, at this point, so fucking gagged on capitalism's dick that they're not even pretending to care about art anymore. Dead Boy Detectives is genuinely masterfully made on just about every level. The actors did a phenomenal job and I will be following all their careers heavily. Steve, Beth, and the writing team crafted an incredible tale. The sets, the lighting, the props, the effects were all on point. This was a well-constructed program, and you could tell that everyone involved with the project gave it their all because they cared so deeply.
(Also my heart breaks for the whole cast, but it's hardcore hurting for George since this was not only his first screen role but one he clearly thought he would be keeping as of two weeks ago. He seemed so secure. I hate this for him.)
In addition to being a good show, DBDA had good reception. It's got a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes, was on the Top 10 for several weeks, got 4.7 million views within week one, and was getting daily articles posted on various review sites with NOTHING but praise. The fandom is incredibly active. We trend on Tumblr like five times a week and on Twitter regularly as well.
THE. SCRIPT. FOR. SEASON. 2. WAS. WRITTEN.
What the fuck happened?
Idiot executives at @netflix, choking on the dick of capitalism, probably just thought that they wouldn't get new subscribers for a second season of an existing show that didn't rake in Bridgerton-level cash. That's how they work - people who are interested in it are already subscribers, so who the fuck cares about them? Better to make some other shit, hope new people subscribe, and maybe that'll be a Bridgerton-level hit.
But also, Netflix has fun little trends to look into. And, when you look at the lineup of shows Netflix has canceled, they are overwhelmingly queer. The homophobia of @netflix and their operatives is clearly boundless, and it hits here really badly because this show was clearly made with a queer audience in mind. It was one of the most authentic pieces of queer media I have ever experienced, if not THE most authentic pieces of queer media that I have ever experienced.
It's fucking ridiculous that Netflix canceled a show that they commissioned a completed script of months ago. It sucks that they decided that their existing subscribers, their queer subscribers, did not matter.
Edwin and Charles are ours now. Well, of course, they're George's and Jayden's respectively, but the characters are no longer Netflix's to use and throw out. They're ours now, our fandom's, and we all love them so much.
And we deserved to see more of them, and we deserved to see their love story play out onscreen, but I for one am not going anywhere. Let's give Edwin and Charles - and the rest of the gang - millions of versions of the stories and endings that Netflix deprived them of.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#im literally crying now#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#george rexstrew
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deadbeat - toji fushiguro
synopsis: too stupid and selfish for anything good to happen.
word count: 3.6k
warnings: angst, toji is an ass, marriage problems, arguements, pregnancy, like two paragraphs of smut, rushed relationships, ooc toji (probably), really bad writing, a bunch of timeskips cuz i'm lazy. (18+ mdni!)
notes: yeah this one is ass but i just wanted to make something sad/angry. much love! send me requests i'm begging </3.
edit: you can find pt. 2 here.
masterlist
toji sits on a random bench downtown. he’s thinking. he thinks he’s too self-absorbed. and he’s rude, too rude for anyone to befriend him in a genuine way. he wishes he could change. toji’s left everyone in his life behind at some point. he gets overwhelmed sometimes, seeing all the people around him that more than likely have someone or something that keeps them going.
what does toji have? nothing. and it’s his own fault, too. he only has a stubbornness to him that won’t let him die. his mind is the only thing that keeps him going.
and then he sees you.
you plop down on the same bench, not next to him, but only a few feet away, rummaging through your bag to find something. you’re determined, not focused on the big scary man next to you. but to toji; you’re the first person in years that has sat next to him. he stares at you, as you still search for that something in your bag – your keys, toji sees you grab your keys. you look back up, finding toji staring at you, and he doesn’t break the contact with his eyes, he only continues to stare.
“are…you okay…?” you ask the man, giving him an awkward smile, “i’m sorry if i bothered you.”
once you speak, toji shakes his head, “no, no…you’re fine. i was just thinking,” toji says. you notice his gruff tone, yeah, it fits the way he looks perfectly. he’s muscular, and has dark, dark hair that matches the midnight sky with no stars. there’s also a bored look on his face, his eyes stay half-lidded, and his mouth sits in a natural frown. but he’s handsome, you think. very handsome. but it’s almost in an unconventional way – the scarring on his lips and overall structure of his face is like none other you’ve seen before.
call it love at first sight, call it whatever you want. but you felt a certain need for this man.
“thinking about what?” you ask, in an attempt to talk to him.
toji shakes his head again, “nothing important.”
you think that he probably has no interest in you, maybe you really did catch him off guard when you sat down next to him. but toji is thinking about how he’s never seen anyone like you, too, and he’s never had anyone willingly sit next to him and try to conversate. he thinks he’s too intimidating, and he is, to pretty much anyone else.
but you – you don’t get that from him. all you see is a possibly lonely, pretty man.
“what’s your name?” you question him again, cocking your head to the side.
“mm…toji,” he says, hesitantly.
“toji…” you repeat after him, mentally repeating his name over and over as to not forget it. toji can’t peel his eyes away from your lips as you mouth his name a couple times, the way they perfectly made an “o” shape for the letter in his name.
“uhm,” toji croaks, an unfamiliar feeling of nervousness in his chest, “what’s your name?”
when you tell him your name, toji sighs in relief. he’d always found it hard to have normal conversations, outside of those he had for work purposes, but this…this wasn’t so hard. he hadn’t wished to meet someone again in forever. but he wished now that he would see you again, even if it was passing on the street. toji hangs his head down, not knowing what to say anymore. these are difficult, odd, never-visited-before feelings for him.
maybe it was love at first sight for him, too. he doesn’t really know. not yet, at least.
“toji,” you repeat his name once more, and he lifts his head to look at you, “can i have your number, or something?” if you wanted to catch toji off guard, now, this is the way to do it.
toji’s mouth drops open slightly, “uh- sure,” he mutters, and he’s unable to stare at you anymore. you hand him an old receipt and a pen you kept in your bag, and he tries his hardest to remember the number of his apartment phone.
eventually, he writes it down, and you notice his penmanship definitely needs some work. nonetheless, you smile at toji, this time more genuine rather than awkward, and tell him you have to get going. toji only stares once more as you walk away, disappearing into the crowded sidewalk, his eyes linger on you for as long as possible.
toji was lonely. so, so pathetically lonely until you showed up.
“would you want to, like…see each other again?” you ask a drunk toji over the phone. his phone cord is stretched all the way over the counter in his apartment to the couch, where he lazily laid, buzzed, and talking to you.
silence is heard on the other side of the phone for a couple seconds.
“…sure,” toji replies, and you don’t know, but he feels like he could throw up.
however, with you making all the plans, a “date” is finally planned in a couple of weeks. neither one of you is too sure what to call it. but by normal, societal standards, yes, you and him were going to go on a date.
you have phone conversations every so often as the remaining days pass. usually, it’s you calling him. that’s only because he thinks your life is too busy for someone like him. he doesn’t even know why someone like you is even talking to him.
toji will keep his insecurities under wraps for now, though. only for now.
he’s still very curious about you, though, and he wonders what makes him so curious. he’s still wondering when he walks into a bar – the one you proclaimed as your favorite – to see you on your so-called date. toji’s heart flutters for the first time in his life when he sees you. you’re already sat in one of the barstools, sipping on a mixed drink – and you are jaw-droppingly beautiful. toji doesn’t talk to you when he slides into the stool next to you.
you crane your neck to look at whoever just sat in the reserved seat, and it’s toji, not looking any differently from how you saw him a couple weeks ago. you don’t mind. he’s still attractive. you think he might just be the type that’s “unapologetically themselves.” and he is, but not in a way that makes people attracted to him.
“toji!” his name falls off your tongue so perfectly yet again, and you wrap your arms around his neck. he doesn’t hug you back, he only freezes slightly at your touch. again, you don’t mind. it’s painfully obvious he doesn’t do things like this often. you feel lucky he decided to show up in the first place.
as time ticks away, you begin to find out more about toji. he does have a sense of humor, it only takes some chipping away at his hard exterior and a few drinks for him to laugh along with you. he lives alone, and he’s honest about his job – he kills people for a living. that fact doesn’t intimidate you, it only explains why he is the way he is. he tells you a few minute details about his family life, too, and how he grew up.
nothing that he tells you scares you. it only makes sense to you. the pieces of his personality add up with the information he gives you. and silently, you thank him for explaining more about himself.
he just doesn’t want to be lonely anymore.
toji takes you back to his place that night. even the frugal décor – or lack thereof – makes sense to you. it’s a little humorous how everything fits so perfectly with his personality.
“fuck- toji!” you scream, arms shaking as you hold yourself up as toji pounds you from behind. you know you only met him a few weeks ago, and it’s bad to fuck on the first date, but you feel zero remorse with the current situation. his big, rough hands hold your hips in place, lewd, wet noises fill the air when you aren’t moaning for the man behind you. toji doesn’t pay mind to how loud you’re being – he only likes the fact you’re losing yourself because of him.
toji props his leg up on the bed, giving a new angle, and slams his hips forward to meet yours again. you feel him in the deepest parts of you, and god, he’s so warm, he makes your whole body heat up in a way you’ve never felt before. drool rolls out of your mouth, creating a small damp circle below your head. your eyes flash behind you. you see toji in all his glory – he’s actually got some emotion on his face now.
you fall asleep in toji’s bed that night.
toji prays you won’t just be a one-night stand – no, he won’t let you be a one-night stand. in toji’s mind, you’re his now.
in your mind, you are too.
a few weeks after your date, you call up toji, he notices the nervous tone in your voice, but doesn’t mention anything about it.
“toji…” you say, his name sounding so perfect once again, “toji…i’m pregnant.”
shit.
“what?” he sounds furious, and it makes you cower down, even in the comfort of your own home. you don’t repeat yourself. you know he heard you. “are you sure?” he frantically questions, slapping a hand to his forehead as he begins to sweat.
“i’ve been sick ever since our date…and all the tests i took are positive.” you whimper, not handling the news any better than toji. you want to cry and beg toji not to leave. “i’m sorry, toji,” you whisper.
“it’s…okay.” toji replies. he knows the fault lies with both of you, and the heat of the moment, and the fact that he was just so attracted to you he didn’t have time to control himself.
“i don’t know what to do,” you tell toji, tears rolling down your cheeks as you clench the phone in your hand even tighter.
“me either,” toji admits, “but…i’ll help you.” those are the only words he can think of to calm you down.
it’s going to be a sticky situation, no matter what. but you took a chance on toji, you overlooked everything wrong with him. it was now his time to return the favor.
he got his wish, though. you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere anytime soon.
toji hauls the last of your boxes into his apartment, throwing them down on the floor harder than needed.
“you have a lot of shit, woman,” he groans, wiping his forehead. you only giggle in return from your spot on the couch. he didn’t let you pick up any of the heavy boxes.
you spend the rest of the day unpacking all your clothes, completely overtaking toji’s closet with items of your own. all your things add a splash of color into toji’s space, and god knows he needs it. toji’s surprised someone can have so much stuff.
“what the hell is this?” toji asks, pulling something out of a box.
“it’s a curling iron, toji,” you reply as you roll your eyes.
by the time night comes, you’re successfully moved in with the father of your baby. empty boxes are broken down and laid by the door. you’re curled up next to toji on the couch, his arm is wrapped around you. it’s been around 3 months since your first encounter with toji downtown.
ever since you told him you were pregnant, he’s acted differently. he dotes on you, he makes sure you’re comfortable, he buys you meals because he’s clueless as to what else to buy you. toji didn’t think he had it in him. you still aren’t officially together — yet — but toji shows he has a care for you in small ways.
you’re still getting used to one another, though. you and toji differ from each other tremendously, but you have to find a way to make these things work. you show toji love, and he prefers to keep his feelings inside, showing love through him allowing you to touch him and be around him. he hasn’t allowed anyone to be this way with him before. nothing is ever long term with him.
he no longer has a choice now.
“toji,” you speak, “are we dating? are we together?” you ask.
the inquiry causes toji to furrow his eyebrows.
“why?” toji answers you with another question. you shrug.
“I just want to know,” you reply. toji shrugs.
“do you want to get married?” toji petitions.
you push yourself off toji, sitting up. you look at him, eyebrows knitted together, “what?” you almost sound the same as toji did when you told him you were pregnant. and again, the situation repeats itself. toji’s statement doesn’t recur. he knows you heard him.
toji looks at you, a sly grin on his scarred lips.
“okay,” you finally agree, “i’ll marry you, toji.”
love grows. loving someone can change you, for the better or for worse. love matures someone, it will make someone into something they once weren’t, or something they aren’t meant to be. love is beautiful. intimate, soft feelings swell inside of you in a way you cannot express.
you love toji. he loves you, too, you think.
“toji, let go of me,” you playfully giggle as you try to pry the man’s hands off your waist, “i have to cook!”
toji has his arms wrapped around you from behind, not too hard, of course, to make sure there is no damage done to the human you’re growing inside of you. he has no intentions of letting you go, despite your pleas. toji rests his head on your shoulder, kissing the crook of your neck and breathing your scent in.
“i love you.” toji whispers, a barely audible peep.
you’re taken aback for a moment. you understood long ago those words would probably never come out of his mouth; due to the rushed situation you lived in with him. but he was there with you, saying those three words that mean more than anything in this world.
“i love you too, toji,” you reply, now staying still as opposed to your earlier motions of trying to get away.
the both of you just stand there, so close, enveloped in each other’s presence. you haven’t shared a moment like this with him yet.
you crane your neck to plant a kiss on toji’s cheek, no longer fighting to get out of his grasp. you only turn yourself around and wrap your arms around his neck, encapsulating your husband in a deep hug. a hug that means more than anything that can be put into words.
that was the only time he said those words to you.
you’ve been married to toji for five and a half months. he’s a changed man, despite him still carrying the same cold demeanor as the same day you met. he’s proven to be a fine partner for you. you understand him more now, with the way he continues to keep you at arm’s length while also letting you in to his mind, expressing deep emotions whenever he was under the influence. he makes a promise to you that he won’t do anything to harm you or the baby, including with his job. he no longer wants to be put in danger, because it would put you and his baby in danger.
lonely he was no more. he had you, it was all he needed. toji felt that way for months. he would stay content and happy — although he never showed it — with you.
toji often spent his time thinking about you. he’s never had anyone like you in his life.
sometimes, love cannot change you entirely. the newness of it all wears out over time, that’s inevitable. but, it’s the choices you make along the way that show change.
all the while being a changed man, toji is still self-absorbed. he cannot run away from that fact.
you’re 8 months pregnant. the past few nights, you’ve been alone at toji’s apartment, too pregnant and tired to do anything about it.
just as you’re about to call him up, toji opens the door and stumbles through, drunk as ever. you frown.
“where the hell have you been, toji?” you raise your voice, slowly getting up from the couch.
“why the hell does it matter?” toji retorts, anger in his voice. he wasn’t expecting you to be on his ass as soon as he walked through the door.
“you’ve been gone for three days!” you yell at him, “three whole days. you said you wouldn’t take on any more dangerous jobs!”
toji makes a tch sound with his teeth, “i wasn’t on a job.” he admits.
you look at toji, confused, “where were you?”
toji runs his fingers through his already disheveled hair, “gambling.”
he says it so nonchalantly, like he didn’t just spend half a week away from his pregnant wife gambling. toji had only mentioned gambling as a bad past habit. you didn’t think he did it anymore, but as soon as he admits it, you wonder if he spent all that time gambling instead of working. it would only make sense.
“what…?” you say, voice dropping to nothing more than a whisper. toji only shakes his head and walks off into the bedroom. you stare at him until he disappears.
for weeks after, you and toji continue to argue. your conversations turn into screaming battles until one of you gives up. most nights, toji sleeps on the couch. you slowly begin to realize that everything might have been a mistake.
there’s a reason he’s never had someone like you.
your arguments falter for a while at the arrival of your baby boy. he’s beautiful, a literal bundle of joy. toji takes the role of a father very seriously at first. he makes sure he’s taken care of while you spend a few days bedridden because of the birth. you love to watch toji through your bedroom door, while he holds the baby swaddled up as he cooks for you.
a glimmer of hope remains in your heart for your marriage.
toji joins you in bed that night, the baby safely tucked away in a small bassinet on your side of the bed. you’re wrapped in toji’s arms again. the world is right. you fall asleep to the sounds of your husband’s snores. it’s a feeling you haven’t had in a long time.
selfishness is a cruel disease.
a couple months after having your baby, you’re not so lonely, spending most of your time taking care of him. you become too busy and burnt out from being a parent that you don’t notice toji’s late nights again. he always joins you in bed, at some point, but at the end of the day you’re sleeping too soundly to notice the time.
slowly, the rekindled love begins to fade for toji. he’s never there, except for when the sun is down. once you’re able to stay awake past 9p.m., the nasty monster of arguments comes back at full force.
“shut the hell up, woman! you’re pissing me off!” toji yells. the baby is wailing in your bedroom, but you are too preoccupied with your husband to do anything.
“are you kidding me? you reek of cheap perfume,” you retort, voice matching the loudness of toji’s, “who the fuck were you with?”
“none of your goddamned business!” toji shouts, taking a step closer to tower over you. he does nothing to intimidate you. you were never scared of him, so why would you be now?
“it is my business, i’m your wife!” you reply to his remarks.
toji scoffs. he makes a decision quickly, not thinking about any repercussions. he points a finger towards the door.
“get the hell out.”
your face falls from anger into an expression that can only be described as heartbreak. your husband of almost – almost – a year is kicking you out. toji’s face remains stern and cold, not a pang of regret for doing this to you.
thousands of questions run through your mind, painful silence falls over the room, and you can hear your baby screaming once more. no time is given to ask toji anything. and for once, you’re scared. not exactly scared of toji, but of the fact you don’t know how things are going to end up without him.
your shoulders relax. you look toji in the eyes, unable to hide your heartbreak, but overall, you decide to keep an unbothered façade.
indifference doesn’t matter to toji. neither does sadness, or anger.
it only takes you a few minutes to pack a bag with enough things for you and the baby. you do your best to calm him down before leaving. you walk over to the door, looking toji in the eyes once more, and for the first time, toji can see the rage in them. the rage that he caused.
“i hate you.”
you slam the door on your way out, a bag on one shoulder and the baby on your other side. you think about what toji was doing, but alas, you don’t really care. it only took a few minutes and a couple hundred hurtful words for toji to be dead to you.
toji watches from his window as you walk down the sidewalk, disappearing into the crowd with his son. he thinks about where you’re going, who you’ll stay with, and how his life will end up now that you’re more than likely gone for good.
he’s a lonely man again. he’s leaving behind someone else, yet again.
but, he doesn’t really care.
#jujutsu kaisen#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#jjk toji#jujustsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk#jjk smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji x reader smut#jjk angst
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ooo i saw your pick me girl hcs from awhile back and loved them! can i request something similar for ashido/kirishima/kaminari but with the reader encountering a “nice guy” instead? thank you <33
NICE GUYS DO FINISH LAST
characters . . .
ASHIDO MINA, KIRISHIMA EIJIROU, KAMINARI DENKI, BAKUGOU KATSUKI, TODOROKI SHOUTO
notes . . .
a quick one because i was getting overwhelmed with writing this one request for my comeback 🧍♀️ (a lil sneak peek: it’s todobakudeku as ex husbands)
female! reader
MINA is actually offended that this guy thinks it’s going to work. like.. calling you short (even if you might not be), trying to compare hand sizes with you, the self deprecating humor— she’s actually going to throw up in her mouth… 🤢 though, she already clocked this guy’s tea iykwim… she has interacted with guys like him before, and she knew from the very beginning what he wanted— especially when he tried to replace her. the wicked witch and the audacity of this bitch…
“she’s not gonna pick you… if you’re really that nice, you’d stop being so sad… 😹”
if the advancements didn’t stop, she’d basically do whatever she could to make sure he knew that your ass was a fruitcake and not interested… even if it was laughable on her end.
“let’s go my scissor sister!!”
“girl??”
EIJIROU is an actual nice guy… he doesn’t need to say it for it to be known, so maybe that why he knew exactly what was going on the moment he heard this guy flap his lips… he was ashamed that this guy actually labelled himself as a “nice guy” because honestly it was even starting to confuse him like… what if he’s the one that’s not nice for thinking this way? he’s literally gaslighting himself at this point 😭
but because EIJIROU’s so nice, he’d actually pull the dude aside, speak to him from one man to another man, and tell him that he doesn’t need to do all of this because you’re just not interested (oh, and y’all are dating!!)
“hey man… i’m telling you this because i thought you’d want to know, but she’s not interested. might never be, so like… quit it, dude.”
but when the dude pretends the conversation never happened, that’s when he starts getting visibly angry… he’ll be more firm when it comes to telling him off, and he’ll get in between y’all. if you wanted to tell him off yourself, then he’d be right behind you with his arms crossed.
DENKI laughs because he thinks this isn’t a serious thing at all like… there’s no way somebody actually acts like this, right? this is all fiction. he quickly realizes that this is in fact NOT fiction, and this dude is dead serious— and this is when DENKI starts to panic. he alternates between laughing (because not even mineta is that ridiculous) and being gobsmacked at this behavior. it has him lowkey paranoid, because he wonders if he has ever acted like that towards anyone, even if he meant well.
similar to kiri, DENKI is the type to pull the guy aside and tell him what’s up. except, he’d do it so casually, the guy would probably think he’s joking. now, DENKI’s scared because the guy was trying to rope him in his shenanigans (even though he’d never resort to such tactics!!)
he’ll try to joke that being a “nice guy” is out of style (except he’s not really joking) and because this guy genuinely freaks him out, he’d just focus on creating distance between you and that dude.
“bro was gooning so hard 😭 that was not sigma 😹”
KATSUKI practically implodes, when he first sees it, but it’s such an expected reaction— the nice guy doesn’t even think twice about it. KATSUKI looks annoyed— pissed off, when this rando goes up to you and pats you on the head with his unwashed hand, but after the nice guy momentarily goes away, KATSUKI turns to you and tells you to ignore it. not because he thinks you can’t deal with the problem, nor that it isn’t worth dealing with appropriately, but because he doesn’t want you to worry about someone like him any longer. there are better things for both of y’all to worry about, and this will no longer be your problem.
KATSUKI doesn’t even give the dude the luxury of a warning, the next time he sees him and they’re ALONE?? he’s approaching him with such speed, it has the guy shaking in his boots. the nice guy literally regrets trying to be all nice to you for ulterior motives, and he makes it known— but KATSUKI doesn’t care anymore.
“i was just being nice! can’t a guy be nice anymore??”
“oh so you wanna die—”
“sheesh, okay! fine! i’ll stop. the bitch doesn’t deserve it anyway…”
“… say what.”
KATSUKI did in fact deal with it, and you never had to think twice about him again (excluding the times you laughed about it to him.)
“ngl i can’t believe he thought that’d work.”
“well he’s a fucking dumbass. focus on stretching.”
SHOUTO is so confused, because he can’t understand why anyone would actually act this way, and for ulterior motives too. he can’t understand lying about who you are to get something— especially if that somebody is you, and especially if someone just wants that attention. it’s one thing to have a crush on you, sure (he gets that because he literally does), but it’s another thing to make you uncomfortable in the process of trying to get with you.
SHOUTO looks puzzled— insulted even, when he sees this guy pat you on the head and call you short. not just because he literally touched you and made you uncomfortable, but also because he could’ve been wrong too 😭
SHOUTO wouldn’t try to hide the fact that he’s trying to get in between of you. he’s literally like a sturdy foundation, unable to be moved— even if the guy tried to push him aside (also… that’s certainly a choice..)
SHOUTO is blunt with it. he will try to correct him on your height— even if he doesn’t need to. nice guy probably already knows that you’re not actually that short, but SHOUTO needs to make things known.
“please get it right. she’s not short.” (he’d say, if you’re not)
“you’re quite wrong, she’s not that short.” (he’d say, if you are)
and he’d just watch the color drain off his face with secret satisfaction, and the room atmosphere would go awkward afterwards (but does he GAF, nope…)
“you didn’t have to annihilate him like that,” you’d tease SHOUTO later, and then sarcastically remark, “i thought he was a nice guy”
“they finish last. at least, according to a saying.”
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bnha x y/n#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki x y/n#bakugou headcanons#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#shoto x reader#todoroki x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou katsuki x you#todoroki shouto x reader#shoto headcanons#todoroki headcanons#kaminari denki x you#kaminari x reader#kaminari denki x reader#kaminari headcanons#kirishima imagines#todoroki imagines#bakugou imagines#kirishima eijirou x reader#kirishima x reader#kirishima eijirou x y/n#kirishima headcanons#ashido mina x f!reader#ashido mina x reader#ashido mina x you
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