#genuinely it almost killed me
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Man the grief is a hole thing really helps. But unfortunately now I am realizing my own patterns. Fuck.
#i am trying to shove other things into the hole#i am making the hole wider because I'm shoving too many things into the hole#I'm scared everyone else doesn't have a hole and is going to leave me behind because theyre sick of me being like this#and thus making the hole worse by trying to force them to like me#the hole won't get smaller but i cant stop trying to fill it#i just. fuck#i feel so goddamn empty#and I'm making it worse! i know I'm making it worsen#if i stay i rip myself apart if i leave i get replaced#i dont know what to do#and maybe im overdramatic. maybe they actually care and me going would hurt them#but i just#im trying to force them to fill the void in my life and it's going to kill me#it almost killed me actually#genuinely it almost killed me#but if i leave i get a bigger hole#i know I'll grow bigger than it if i stick it out.#but the thing is. i dont know if I can#i don't know if Id live if i lost anyone else#genuinely#so.#candyskiez vent#tw suicide#if you make a sex joke i will eat your organs
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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Let's just say that if I have to live through the same boring ass lecture every wednesday for the next few months I will either go insane or post an insane amount of art
I am singlehandedly rioting against early boring IT lectures with kokichi and kokichi alone
#my art#danganronpa#drv3#monokuma#drv3 killing harmony#drv3 kokichi#kokichi ouma#kokichi oma#act 3 is hilarious to me alright#also about this godforsaken lecture#never in my life before have i genuinely almost fallen asleep during a class#NEVER#never before today#that was one hell of a scam i do not remember like ANY of those 2.5 hours#traditional art
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Lilia reading freshly thirteen year old, completely innocent and oblivious William Kaplan’s future and being like:
Okayyyyy lemme just un-know that real quick so it doesn’t haunt me forever🥲
I can’t properly express how much I love her
#also how we could see how heartbroken she was broke me too#even though she’s a little odd and is often bitter and resentful#her consistent moments of genuine fondness for the other witches in the coven#especially billy#make me love her so much more#like when he was injured and she was like ‘hes young hes strong’#the whole coven had no idea why this child was there with them#but every single one of them almost immediately decided they NEEDED to protect him#jen trying to warn him about agatha and alice being so so kind to him#and of course agatha who is so motherly towards him#even after he kinda tried to kill her#she was still so supportive#because her mother never was#ugh this show i cant say it enough how amazing it is!#marvel#mcu#lilia calderu#patti lupone#billy kaplan#william kaplan#billy maximoff#wiccan#agatha all along#agatha harkness#sasheer zamata#ali ahn#kathryn hahn#joe locke#kate's post
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The Bedside Manner Duo.
Bonus Poppys cause I had to really practice to figure out how to draw her waahah! Conventionally cute designs are hard for me....
#kamen rider exaid#poppy pipopapo#emu hojo#hiiro kagami#kamen rider#fan art#the show is punishing me for putting them into the 'do not separate' category right now.....#they're eachother's only friends lmao#sometimes i feel like i only draw cool stuff... i like to draw cute characters too sometimes aaahaha!#but i had to really work to get poppy right... not my usual wheelhouse#her skirt almost killed me but i survived#worth it. I love her.#give me the strength to not attempt to draw poppy's rider form... I think all the exaid suits would be difficult#I'm having a lot of fun with ExAid#Everybody else is so MEAN but I genuinely like all our heroes and even our villains!
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a short placing heavy emphasis on Hungarian Rhapsody No. II is a rite of passage for golden age cartoons. Bugs Bunny did it! Tom and Jerry did it! Daffy and Donald! but one thing Woody Woodpecker has above the competition is that he is held hostage by a group of gangsters and is forced to entertain, lest he get executed. amazing
#fans of Mickey's Trailer will note the similarities at the beginning of the moving van stretching out the fence--that's because#this was directed by Don Patterson who animated that absolutely BIZARRE cut in Trailer#please look it up if you haven't because it is some of the best animation you will ever see. it is insane#i'm so sad i didn't know this short existed until yesterday because i love it. i love musical cartoons and the story/hook of this one#genuinely made me laugh. and Daws Butler voices the gangsters and cop!#Hungarian Rhapsody No. II... gangster is named Mugsy... it's almost a Friz Freleng short! almost#Hugh Harman did write this one though which is bizarre to me. yes that Hugh Harman who established and ran the first 3 years of the Warner#studio with Rudy Ising#(and Herman Cohen animates on this who of course was a longtime WB animator!)#i love cartoons#ww#convict concerto#patterson#vid#also i am team Rhapsody Rabbit on the RR vs Cat Concerto debate i'm sorry Tom (and Jerry)#but one short has Bugs Bunny killing a man in cold blood and the other doesn't
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This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:
Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.
#'but gaza' trump wants TO OBLITERATE THEM. HE LITERALLY WANTS THERE TO BE NOTHING LEFT OF GAZA AT ALL. WHY DO YOU THINK#I DON'T WANT HIM IN POWER?????#yeah I said I wouldn't election post I lied sorry.#I know most of you don't actually care what happens to american citizens because we're all Violent Hypocrites who should kill ourselves#and somehow every single civilian is responsible for the actions of a military and government that comparatively few of us are actually par#of but FUCKING HELL. You don't care about THE PEOPLE OF GAZA??? Because that's what you're telling me if you're in favor of#doing anything OTHER than the most likely path to get trump out of politics. which is voting for the candidate DIRECTLY OPPOSING HIM.#the thing about america being an empire that needs to die. is that before it dies. it is still affecting the rest of the world.#I can't make you care about me and my loved ones. but I am IMPLORING you to have some fucking compassion for all the people#who are going to be DEEPLY negatively affected elsewhere if trump gets into power.#THEIR HARM. THEIR DEATHS. ARE ON /YOU/ IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO FACILITATE TRUMP'S VICTORY IF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.#I don't believe most of you actually have any amount of the sympathy and compassion for others you claim to have.#I don't think any of the causes you throw yourself behind are actually meaningful to you. I don't think any of this is based on a#genuine desire to build a better world. I think you just want your Internet friends to think you are a Good Person.#if I see anyone. ANYONE. acting like a trump presidency is what we 'deserve'. or that it's necessary to 'teach [xyz] a lesson'#I am NEVER speaking to you again I don't care how long I've known you.#us politics#I am a disabled queer woman. almost everybody I love is also disabled and queer. you think we're acceptable collateral damage fine.#but don't cry that I'm being a bitch if I say that that makes me not trust you and not want to have anything to do with you.
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#turns out coloring hold the line makes me wanna kill people#like this set genuinely almost brought me to tears and I STILL HATE HOW IT LOOKS#911#911edit#911 fox#evan buckley#911verse#evanbuckleydaily#evanbuckleyedit#oliver stark#911 abc#911 lone star#poetindenial#bigassdiaz#tuserjw#tuserrae#alyxmastershipper#my gifs#🪐
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Day 6: Farewell
Imagining it takes Partner a while to feel comfortable letting Hero out of their sight
@heropartnerweek
#Treecko#skitty#pokemon doodles#original art#heropartnerweek#heropartnerweek2024#This prompt wound up giving me the most trouble actually#I can’t for the life of me make a serious piece I’m sorry#Like my original thought was something sad. The actual farewell scene in explorers#But then it’s too sad :(#(and also too much background to draw 😭)#Anyway I don’t think partner would be able to accept hero’s actually BACK quickly#They’re thrilled no doubt#But can totally see them worrying it’s a mistake#Or temporary#checking for signs of that light when hero’s not looking#Going to bed every night praying they’ll still be there in the morning#Trying to live every day like it could be their last together#At least for a while#worst would be if they finally started to relax just before the palkia plot#Like they let their guard down and feel genuinely happy then BAM palkia in your house that night#Telling both of you your existence is destroying the fabric of space#After that can imagine hero really struggling to help partner feel relaxed/happy again#Because LAST time they relaxed they were almost killed#Anyway partner feeling they constantly have to be on guard for the next major catastrophe :(#Lot of pressure for a little pink kitten
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me and like two other sukuna stans making posts about how miserable he is
#I'd say tragic but I wouldn't go that far... YET#even tho he's already a deeply sad character to me#its almost... all I talk abt here lol#he seems kinda depressed to me idk#you cant really see it when he fights someone but the thing is he's only happy and excited WHEN he fights someone#any other time he's bOred#hes looking for pleasure and fighting gives him that pleasure but its all surface lvl cause once there's no one left to challenge#he's left feeling not only bored but empty...#you can even even see it after he kills jogo#his face is devoid of any emotions and his gaze seems soooo....... empty#only after uraume arrives we can see for the first time a genuine joy on his face#its that connection w another person sukuna not only lacks but actively rejects claiming he doesn't need one#but yet here he is being genuinely happy after seeing uraume#this man is not only contradictory but also in deep DEEP denial#ryomen sukuna#god this got longer than I expected lol#anyway#it’s sukuna angst hrs#I ALWAYS reblog an angsty suku post whenever I find one
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just finished yellowjackets and wow misty is the worst
#yellow jackets#not her being responsible for the deaths of both her closest friends#and being the reason the group was stranded for almost 2 years#she genuinely pisses me off#she's literally a walking fuck up#of course her bitchass killed off one of the coolest/hottest characters#justice for nat#yellowjackets spoilers#misty quigley#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#taissa turner#lottie matthews#van palmer
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I haaaaate when ppl treat ford being upset over his identity being taken and his house getting turned into essentially a mockery of his research was completely unreasonable
like, was stan doing his best with a terrible situation? absolutely! would ford kicking him out be an actually fair option? fuck no!
but he's been in this dimension for probably 12 hours. god knows the last time he's slept. he'd been nearly dead prior to going thru the portal and now has to deal with the fact that he's lost everything. he doesn't even have his own identity anymore.
I honestly don't even think half the shit ford says to stan is truly about stanley or ford's opinion of him, so much as it is about his own issues and how weighed down with guilt he is.
I think its worth noting that ford only ever says mean things about stan when he's pissed off- when he's not angry, he's much more willing to actually discuss things and try to find common ground (such as when he invites stan to play d,d&d).
it honestly comes off more as him not knowing how to communicate anger outside of hurting people than it does genuine malice towards stan. and also I don't think ford ever really internalized that stan was homeless in the duration of the show
#☢️.txt#ford pines#gravity falls#like again its an asshole move but the sentiment (im upset that you brought me back to the apocalypse i caused and i cant even have my name#isnt like. abnormal??#ford is really really bad at just fucking telling stan how hes feeling and instead chooses to be vague and then explode#and again its not stans fault! he didnt have a whole lot of choices! and what ford said WAS hurtful#also yeah i genuinely do not think ford has processed like anything stan has said about his past#like hes told about it while having a psychotic breakdown and again after nearly getting killed#and then getting dragged back into his own dimension and realizing that bill is almost certainly going to win#hes not processing 'i was homeless' all hes thinking is how he personally has doomed everyone in this room#he has the realization at 4 am months later and feels Fucking Terrible#90% sure the reason i read his actions this way is my autism tends to make me do this#and having a dad with anger issues teaches you to have worse anger issues so that hes fucking sick of dealing with you
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Since I've shared more of my reading interests on here lately, I thought I'd share my rant about the insanity of the book The Princess Bride by William Goldman. Yes. This is the book that is the same story as the popular older movie The Princess Bride.
I'll start this by saying I've never been so affronted by a book before. The closest would be the ending of the first Mortal Engines books (which if you know you know). That ending actually drove me nuts enough that I recall it quite often when thinking about insane books. However, the Princess Bride blows that chaos out of the water.
Not only is the book halted by a lot of extra nonsense that the author throws in of his own thoughts and opinions because part of the story is that he is retelling a book he read as a child and abridging it. The book in question doesn't exist so this is all made up and fantastical. I'm usually down for the silly and extra from writers. I've read Good Omens and plan to read some of the Discworld series sooner rather than later. I obviously recently finished the Hobbit and LoTR. But that is the fun silly that I love. Whatever the fuck is in the Princess Bride bridges on insanity.
The book is mostly the same as the movie EXCEPT for the ending. In the movie, it ends with Buttercup, Westley, Fezzik and Inigo riding off. In the book, it goes further. In to the most insane shit I've ever read in a published book. It's genuinely insane crack fic level material.
Like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY GET SAVED BY THE PIRATES FROM THE PRINCE'S SOLIDERS BUT HAVE TO LEAVE THE BOAT IN WHICH FEZZIK IS INCHARGE OF ROWING. HE ROWS THEM INTO A WHIRLPOOL WHICH IS WHEN WESTLEY SPEAKS UP AND SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO SWIM THROUGH THE WHIRLPOOL TO GET TO AN INASSECIBLE ISLAND WHERE THE PRINCE CANT FOLLOW. THIS HAPPENS AND THEN BUTTERCUP WHILE THEY ARE CHILLING ESSENTIALLY TURNS TO WESTLEY AND SAYS LETS HAVE SEX FINALLY. THAT SEX GETS BUTTERCUP PREGNANT WHICH ENDS UP LEADING TO A BIRTH WHERE THE BABY IS BACKWARDS AND TANGLED AND POTENTIAL WILL DIE ONLY FOR FEZZIK IS GET FUCKING POSSESSED AND SHOW UP AND DELIVERY THE BABY SAFELY. THEN THERES A TIME JUMP TO WHERE FEZZIK IS SAVING THE BABY AFTER SHE WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE JUMPS OFF A CLIFF TO SAVE HER AND THANKFULLY THEY SURVIVE BUT THATS WHERE THE BOOK FUCKING ENDS.
WHAT THE GENUIENE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS BOOK. WHAT THE FUCK
#ive genuinely never lost my mind this hard over a book#how is this thing real#it gives like 1k words chaos crack fic vibes like the ones that are so silly its almost nonsensical#this is a published book from the 80s or 90s#what the fuck#im#like im absolutely here for silly world building and shit like that but not this#this will haunt me forever#i thought i was going to get a cheezy romantic story and maybe them settling down after the events but NO#I GOT LITERAL INSANITY#WHAT THE GENUINE FUCK#i wanted a quick fun read before jumping into another large fantasy series thats all i wanted#princess bride#the princess bride#the princess bride book#(also if you have read this far and are okay with spoilers mortal engines pissed me off because the author literally kills everyone but the#two main characters in literally the last 10-15 pages. that was a book i threw across the room after finishing)
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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Uh...hey...I know things are really fucking awful with the election and everything but I saw your kms post and i cannot bring myself to just...scroll past that without checking in....'are you okay?' seems like such a silly question to ask right now but....are you okay?
i wont actually kms no. shits about to be really hard and really scary but i cried a bunch and now im putting in job applications so we can try to save up and leave before That Fucking Happens
#which is just. fucking. killing me because we were finally SO CLOSE to doing our name changes#and now its entirely up in the air on if we actually can#and thats killing me. killing me dude i cannot describe how much thats hurting me#ive been waiting 10 years to do this and its still just fucking slipping through my fingers i hate this. i fucking hate this#genuinely genuinely i had a plan to save up but its so out the window i might crowdsource the grand we need to both change our names#its so fucking expensive to do it here but we just. itll take time to get all of our documents reissued#and our passports too#itll be a lot of sitting on our hands before we can leave and i cant make that even longer waiting a couple months to afford our name chang#so like. the kms is real but i wouldnt ever actually do that to my husband#fuck man#weve been trying to immigrate for almost a decade i cant wrap my head around the amount of fighting weve done for like#nothing to show for it#this fucking SUCKS
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hey hi hello i finished the fanart after..... uhhh almost 9 hours?!? so. uh. CHECK OUT @mute-house RAHHHHHHHH
#house md#gregory house#house md au#mute house au#mute house md au#mute house#this took forever#and now i hate it#like genuinely#i want to never look at this again#i almost didnt post it#but sigh#i already showed you guys the wip#and my friends would kill me if i didnt post#so im obligated by law#🧍
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