#how is this thing real

[rosefires20]

Since I've shared more of my reading interests on here lately, I thought I'd share my rant about the insanity of the book The Princess Bride by William Goldman. Yes. This is the book that is the same story as the popular older movie The Princess Bride.

I'll start this by saying I've never been so affronted by a book before. The closest would be the ending of the first Mortal Engines books (which if you know you know). That ending actually drove me nuts enough that I recall it quite often when thinking about insane books. However, the Princess Bride blows that chaos out of the water.

Not only is the book halted by a lot of extra nonsense that the author throws in of his own thoughts and opinions because part of the story is that he is retelling a book he read as a child and abridging it. The book in question doesn't exist so this is all made up and fantastical. I'm usually down for the silly and extra from writers. I've read Good Omens and plan to read some of the Discworld series sooner rather than later. I obviously recently finished the Hobbit and LoTR. But that is the fun silly that I love. Whatever the fuck is in the Princess Bride bridges on insanity.

The book is mostly the same as the movie EXCEPT for the ending. In the movie, it ends with Buttercup, Westley, Fezzik and Inigo riding off. In the book, it goes further. In to the most insane shit I've ever read in a published book. It's genuinely insane crack fic level material.

Like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY GET SAVED BY THE PIRATES FROM THE PRINCE'S SOLIDERS BUT HAVE TO LEAVE THE BOAT IN WHICH FEZZIK IS INCHARGE OF ROWING. HE ROWS THEM INTO A WHIRLPOOL WHICH IS WHEN WESTLEY SPEAKS UP AND SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO SWIM THROUGH THE WHIRLPOOL TO GET TO AN INASSECIBLE ISLAND WHERE THE PRINCE CANT FOLLOW. THIS HAPPENS AND THEN BUTTERCUP WHILE THEY ARE CHILLING ESSENTIALLY TURNS TO WESTLEY AND SAYS LETS HAVE SEX FINALLY. THAT SEX GETS BUTTERCUP PREGNANT WHICH ENDS UP LEADING TO A BIRTH WHERE THE BABY IS BACKWARDS AND TANGLED AND POTENTIAL WILL DIE ONLY FOR FEZZIK IS GET FUCKING POSSESSED AND SHOW UP AND DELIVERY THE BABY SAFELY. THEN THERES A TIME JUMP TO WHERE FEZZIK IS SAVING THE BABY AFTER SHE WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE JUMPS OFF A CLIFF TO SAVE HER AND THANKFULLY THEY SURVIVE BUT THATS WHERE THE BOOK FUCKING ENDS.

WHAT THE GENUIENE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS BOOK. WHAT THE FUCK

[whoism0]

stupid baby i love you.

no thoughts <3

[hissterical-nyaan]

Guess who just finished Evelyn Hugo and sobbing her heart out rn

[kiwi]

as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[anna-scribbles]

adrien in my outfit from a few days ago✨ feat. my claws out converse

bonus:

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

The stewards of the old world are always keen to give you a glimpse of their might... According to legend, the ancients built specialized chambers to seal away false prophets.

The Arcane is waking up.

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[egophiliac]

still rolling around on the ground over the contrast between Jack and Mal. it's so...🤌🤌🤌

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton’s one joy in life is FNAF Foxy

[hinamie]

oversaturate

[isjasz]

[Day 365 | Ref to Day 1]

And that's a wrap 🪻🥀

===

fhksjdkwjw ITS OVER. ITS OVERRRRR I MADE ITTTTT

Screaming and losing it. It only started to feel real as I'm posting this rn HRKSJAKSJLELH. A year... 365 pieces (probably a bit less bc I did post wips?) of desert duo... I would make a collage maybe but its prob a lot of work HJASKDHAHEHW

🫵 @vesperionnox @cherrysherin without u guys I wouldn't have been here <3 This challenge kinda became its own thing at some point, but I didn't forget where I started :D

💥💥💥 AAA I hope you guys enjoyed this challenge as much as I did!! but also WOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREEDOM. I WILL DEF STILL BE DRAWING DESERTDUO THO LOL BUT LETS FREAKING GO ONE YEARRRR

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[raticalshoez]

Was thinking of my post about dream teams and got really invested in whatever Unrequited Hate has going on

[koneko-chan]

𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 (sound of salt falling weakly to the table) hyah hyah hyah

[dappy-dappernette]

I keep on hearing people go all "The voice of the Smitten is such a creep. All he wants in the princess is someone to control and keep as a pretty object. He'd drop the princess if she wasn't the perfect petite maiden like in the damsel route." and I will not stand for the Smitten slander.

Like- He's been in love with her as a burning corpse ghost lady:

A terrifying ghost woman who wants to bring fear and chaos to the world:

And even a murderous blade monster woman who would kill you and enjoy every second of it:

Like, he ALWAYS loves the princess no matter what she looks like or how she acts, he loves her for being herself no matter what or who she is. That's the point of his character and I'm tired of people slandering my boy.