#gender therapist online

[hevendor]

Man it creeps me out when 'list of mental illnesses' is part of an introductory prompt

[barbiefaeg]

I think something a lot of cis ppl don’t realize is like. And I’m not saying this applies to all trans ppl but in my experience. I have experienced specific trauma that mainly cis women have experienced and so, when I look for guidance in how to heal from that trauma from generalized sources they will almost entirely only mention “women” having experienced said trauma. And thus two things. 1. It’s not that big of a deal but I feel I constantly have to remind myself I’m allowed to seek this guidance and heal even though the text isn’t technically directed toward me, a trans man. 2. It kinda sucks feeling like you relate to something and then consistently being reminded by the text that it’s directed at a demographic you feel very uncomfortable being grouped into 3. Sometimes the guidance doesn’t help! Some times integral to the guidance is something about celebrating womanhood… like even painful or traumatic experiences I’ve had and need to heal from are identical to many cis women’s experiences. I’m not a woman. And celebrating anything perceived as my “womanhood” would be very painful for me.

[beazt]

something I don’t really see mentioned or acknowledged at all is that “being in the closet” is a spectrum.

some people are only out to themselves.

some people are only out online.

some people are only out on specific websites or accounts.

some people are only out on a specific space on an account, such as a discord server.

some people are only out irl.

some people are only out when they’re in an area they don’t live in (such as the next city over, or on vacation).

some people are only out to their therapist and/or medical team.

some people are only out at school/uni.

some people are only out at work.

some people are only out to their family.

some people are only out to their friends.

some people are only out to their partner(s).

some people are only out to specific family/friends/partners.

some people express a muted or more “palatable” version of their identity in some or all spaces, not necessarily expressing the fullness of their identity anywhere but to themselves.

some people are partially or fully expressing their gender and/or sexuality, but not expressing other identity signifiers such as new pronouns or name.

or the above but express different versions of these signifiers in different circumstances or spaces.

some people express their identity fully, but don’t correct anyone who is “wrong” or tell anyone the full extent of their identity, with some answering when asked and others not.

some people have come out “fully”, and gone back into the closet “fully.”

some people are stealth, and are very cautious about who they allow (if anyone) to know their full identity.

and most queer people are incredibly complex mixtures of all of the above scenarios, and many more. I can’t possibly list them all.

we cannot meaningfully divide experiences between those who are “in/out of the closet” (full stop) because individual experience is way more nuanced than that. and everyone’s definition of either in/out is going to be different, ranging from “if 1 other person knows, you’re out of the closet” to “unless everybody knows the full extent of your identity, you’re not out of the closet.”

[georges-left-ear]

I want to talk about Neil Gaiman from the perspective of a survivor of SA.

I am a trans/ gender fluid person, a survivor of R*pe, and a diehard Good Omens fan. And I have been struggling to cope with and process the horrific things that Neil Gaiman has done. I don’t get a lot of engagement from the Good Omens fandom. I’m mostly a lurker here, TikTok, Twitter, and BlueSky and AO3. But I feel like I need to say something, and Im saying it here so I can share without a character limit. And then I’m going to take a break for a while because my mental health can’t handle the chaos anymore.

I read the Vulture article and I was of course horrified and disgusted and repulsed. The things he did to those women made me absolutely sick. But I’ll tell you what, as a survivor, I have been way more triggered by the online reaction to these allegations than I ever expected to be.

I am struggling, because while I unquestioningly stand with his victims and hope they get the full weight of justice they deserve, I am grieving. I am not reacting the way I would have expected myself to react to this news, and I haven’t since July when the story first broke. I would have expected to react the same way I did when JK Rowling exposed her horrific transphobia. I took a pretty hardline stance that any engagement with Harry Potter, even through fandom and etsy purchases, kept her relevant and sent the message that you too were transphobic. As a gender queer person, I now have an extremely hard time enjoying Harry Potter anymore even thought it was overwhelmingly influential on my life. I would not have met my husband without HP!

So why don’t I feel the same way about Good Omens? I am a victim of R*pe, myself, so why haven’t these allegations made it difficult to enjoy this story? In fact, all I want to do right now is actually watch the show! Or read the book, or fanfiction, or watch my favorite fan edits. I’m actually reaching out to it more. My instinct ever since July has been to clutch the story to my chest, white knuckled, and crying to myself in the shower, “No, no, no, no. Please, please, please. Not this. Not this too. Please don’t go.”

The answer is I don’t know. I… I don’t know why I’m reacting this way. It is something I will have to work through with my therapist for sure. And I feel absolutely horrible for it. But I do know that folks on Twitter and TikTok telling me that nobody cares about my feeling and saying that nothing matters at all except his victims has been extremely triggering - more so than any discussion of his acts. And I know that I will need a long time to work through it, and that I may never get over it.

I also know that two things can be true at once. We can be supportive of his victims and understand that what Neil Gaiman’s fans are going through is ALSO a collective trauma that deserves time and space to process. Because he violated us too. He violated our trust and our perceptions of reality, and that is much more traumatic than people give it credit for. Demanding that his fans just give up the stories and communities that may have been the only thing keeping some of these people alive at one point completely cold turkey is cruel and heartless. Some people may be able to do that. They may be able to not care for a while and may even need that. People deserve time and grace to grieve and come to terms with what is going on in their own ways.

I know that some of these folks mean well, but the argument that nobody cares about fans feelings is not looking at the whole picture and feels like just a way to discredit and belittle fandoms in a new way. Because this is NOT breaking news! This story originally broke back in July, and the fandom rallied behind his victims en mass! They have recently raised thousands of dollars to donate to Take Back The Night, which is amazing! This most recent article and fandom meltdown is just rehashing everything that we said last summer. So my then questions are:

When CAN we grieve? When CAN we talk about how we are feeling? When CAN we reach out to our community and collectively heal from the trauma that we are facing as well? And not fear that some self righteous ass hole on the internet is going to bully them for not being a good enough feminist. And do NOT sit there on your performative high horse and tell us that what we are going through is not as bad as R*pe. We fucking know that. I certainly fucking know that. But it is still bad, and it does deserve recognition too. It is extremely unhealthy to pretend that this news is not also a noteworthy trauma to his fans. And gaslighting them by telling them that their heartbreak and grief is problematic is just fucking mean.

Neil’s fans deserve grace and compassion too.

EDIT: here is the link to the GoFundMe mentioned above! You can still donate!

[st-dionysus]

(The Poem is named) Emetophobia CW

It’s 2024 and I’m in a 20 year old drag bar, watching the very first trans-masculine performer to compete on their stage, he gets second place even though he deserved first.

I show up to the men’s bathhouse on trans night to get free entry and get turned away at the door, and told it’s for transgirls only, bitch you could have put it on the flyer that transmen need not apply.

I’m doing a line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I get banned from the camsite for listing myself as transgender when I don’t have a dick, I complain online and get told that the trans-masculine body is to grotesque to be fetishized and I should be grateful.

I wear a packer and hitch up a skirt, walk the street, get $20, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Cissie puts a TW #body-mutilation tag under my thirst trap. Tranny puts a TW #dysphoria tag under my thirst trap.

T-girl with a callout post pedojackets me, Enby with TME in bio pedojackets me, T-boy with a self-deprecating joke about men in his bio pedojackets me.

I do another line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic wearing a mask – not cause I’m compromised (I am), just to hide my beard – avoiding making everyone uncomfortable.

I am getting re-diagnosed with BPD, which just means I have bitch disorder and no one trusts me.

I take my pills and throw them up. I drink my liquor before the beer and throw them up.

I am just 14 when the picture and videos go up. Remind me that I have it easy, they were only pictures and videos.

I am just 17 when the recording of my proof stops before it happens, my phone memory is full, I’m called a liar and now I can’t see buttered crackers, thanksgiving, or sriracha sauce without wanting to kill myself.

No one gets me therapy, but they still want to convert me, she puts her hands down my pants, at least I’m 19, to remind me I’m a woman – tell me how they love trans men again.

I do a third line of ketamine off the table, realize it doesn’t effect me, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I call myself a dog, I start biting my lovers and I have to hold back from ripping out a chunk of flesh, I don’t think I’d throw it up.

I am reading the statistics, 40% of BPD patients try and kill themselves. 1 in 2 transgender men try and kill themselves. I’m one of them. I’m 12 and I swallowed all the pills. I’m 14 and the gun is empty. I’m 17 and I put the box-opener against my throat. Therapist calls me a liar, there is no scar, and my words don’t count for anything.

I’m using he/him pronouns for Stormé DeLarverie, like the stonewall veteran association said to, and telling you he started the riot, calling it stealing transfem valor from a woman who told you she didn’t fucking do it.

I’m shoving my fingers down my throat in a fit of mania, convinced I can vomit up my uterus. She tells me I should be grateful, she’d do anything to be able to get pregnant.

My brother in the struggle gets bottom surgery without top, calling it stealing transfem valor to feel comfortable in his body.

It’s 2024 and I’m at trans pride, the announcers tells everyone to give a round of applause for trans woman, a round of applause for gender-queers, a round of applause for transfems, a round of applause for the enbies, a round of applause for trans-masculine people. You forgot someone. Did you know a trans man started the first ever transgender pride parade?

A book on queer history talks about gay men and lesbians and trans women and the women who dressed as men for better job opportunities. I’m reminded that my invisibility is a privilege, if you aren’t seen you don’t get bashed.

I’m 13 and they throw me in the girls bathroom, pin me down, beat me, and in black sharpie write “dyke”, write “tranny”, write “lesbo”, and pull my hair out the cap I shoved it in.

I’m 19 with D cups that a binder can’t hide and a beard I refuse to shave less I break the mirror and kill myself with the shards of glass I would swallow.

Man at the bus stop calls me tranny and tells me I’ll never be a woman. I’d laugh if he didn’t have his hand on my throat. Calling it stealing transfem valor.

I’m 21 and have to pull a taser on him, cause from the back, even with short hair and top surgery, I look rape-able.

I’m 23 and in the gay district when they chase me down the street, calling me faggot.

Make another forcemasc post, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Read an article about a trans man prostitute that kills himself and ends up another female statistic.

Read an article about a trans man shooter, they blame the HRT he didn’t have access too.

Going to read a callout about me, five pages on Google Docs, does this post make it on the list?

Do a final line of ketamine, write the final line of a poem that makes me want to die, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I puke and miss the toilet.

[scam-alerts]

🔎Scam Exam(ination)🔍(updated 2/12/25)

Seen as: Selling HRT / Testosterone Scam Type: Fake Product / Fraud

Platform: Tumblr

-----

This scam mostly targets LGBTQ+ individuals, mainly Trans folk who post in such related tags.

Those who do may receive a DM, comment, ask, or any such related contact from another tumblr user who claims to be a certified™ Doctor, Therapist, Pharmacist, ect, who is trying to offer you a 'new and amazing' drug that's not on the market, or a 'cheap alternative medicine' to name brand HRT or Testosterone.

One such account that popped up recently of this is drfelixortega.

Here is what their tumblr page looks like:

And this is the ask that they are sending users:

(Screenshot taken from this post.)

If you visit their page, you will only find six posts.

All very generic in nature.

None of which link to any sort of certification or credentials that prove that this person is a 'real' doctor. They just say they are a totally real (no fake) Doctor and expect people to go with it.

Like most scammers usually to do.

Here's another version of where another HRT scammer leaves comments on peoples posts:

-----

Why this is a scam:

1 - The risk.

Purchasing any sort of drug online from a shady dealer is not only a good way to get scammed, it's a good way to get sick and possibly even die. You have no idea what sort of ingredients are in the pills these supposed Doctors online are trying to sell you.

There was a story that surfaced on my local news station that talked about how in South Korea, capsules were seized that contained the contents of herbs and a mixture of human flesh/DNA.

When tested, the human material was found to belong to infants.

If you wish to read more, you can find the 2015 article here. But be warned, it is very disturbing. (No pictures)

2 - The scam.

I know that getting HRT or even Testosterone can be hard, and I know how the struggle and the desire to truly be yourself can become overwhelming. Your insurance may not pay for it, or you might not even have insurance to begin with, leaving without hope at all in your journey to begin transitioning.

But that still doesn't mean you should believe every offer that seems too good to be true the moment you're offered it online. In more cases than none, you will give these people money, and never receive a product.

Think about these things for a second:

Why would a doctor, surgeon, pharmacist, what have you, be on Tumblr of all places? Why would they browse the trans tag, or other such related tags, to find potential 'clients?' Don't you usually have to make an appointment with a doctor? For your insurance to then pay for to cover your medicine? How can a board certified pharmacist.. be a gender assessment surgeon at the same time? (it's a lie, that's why.)

3 - The truth.

The truth of the matter is, you cannot, unfortunately, get HRT or Testosterone without seeing a doctor for a prescription.

And buying it online from any sort of 3rd party website or manufacturer is simply putting not only your wallet at risk, but your life at risk.

Here is a screenshot taken from this GoodRX article:

Here is an article on the risks and dangers of buying unregulated / unlicensed HRT. One big one being that they can be contaminated.

And a final, general consensus from google:

-----

Final Thoughts:

As I've said in a few of my past scam Exam(inations), if something seems too good to be true, it most likely is. I know how life changing something can be and how desperate wanting it can make you, but please don't risk your wallet, or your life, for it.

Remember: These are just words these people offer you.

Ask for proof. In most cases they will not send you any and will get combative that you asked. If they do send you any kind of images, remember, you can reverse image search them to try and find the source. If you get pushy in asking for their credentials they'll probably end up blocking you and just want you to 'trust them' or send you clearly edited photos made in photoshop.

Never give anyone your personal information such as name, adress, phone number, occupation, birth date, SSN, a photo of yourself or your ID, or any kind of credit card information online who is selling you a product, especially if it's via a DM or chatroom type service or e-mail.

And never go to a strange website you don't know or have never heard of without googling it first.

You can also run it through something like VirusTotal to check if any of the big/main websites like Bitdefender or Kaspersky that detect things like phishing, viruses/trojans/maware, and all that fun stuff, have picked up on it being malicious.

Just... Be safe.

Please make sure you think before you talk to people like this.

Take care everyone. <3

----

Disclaimer: Tags are relevant to the content of this post. This is not 'tag spam' or 'unrelated'. I'm just spreading awareness about this scam targeting people taking hormone drugs like HRT which also includes people other than just trans folk. :)

[so-i-did-this-thing]

im sorry if this is too personal a question.

but how did you manage to transition so well? is there a secret to it? im too scared to take my first step and i don't know where to start.

-a trans guy

I choose my camera angles very carefully.

A glib reply, but it's the truth. What I put out here is a crafted persona to make myself feel better about the shortcomings of my own transition. And myself, really. We all feel scared and insecure, even those of us who transition "well". The first step is still the hardest. Mine was at rock bottom, my depression and hoarding exacerbated to where I was starting to live (just exist, really) in squalor. I had no money for transition, but after selling a few things and finding a new job, found some after all. There's ways to make it work. A local LGBT center who can refer you to a therapist or doctor, some local community. Other online trans folks who can direct you to informed consent clinics, or explain how they got their paperwork done. Facebook groups about top surgery where folks of all genders share their fears and euphoria. There's no one place to start. Maybe it's trying on a new name or pronouns in a safe place for a while. New clothes or a haircut. Or maybe it's leaping into the fire and starting on T as soon as you can. It boils down to what makes you feel safe and what you need to keep going. It'll be tough, to learn that some of the people in your life life have a love that is conditional and you never knew. It's tough being vulnerable and running into people who are repulsed by that. Some folks will set impossible standards, where you can never transition slow enough for them. And it's tough still having to do all the other things you need to in life, like wake up and go to work, feed yourself properly, clean the house. Remember to be kind to yourself. Sometimes that means waiting until morning to wash the dishes, and sometimes that means cleaning them right away because you know your tendency to let things slide. But the good tends to outweigh the bad. You'll find confidence you never knew you had, you will. Don't shut yourself away. You'll find new people who share your morals, and discover that some folks who have always been in your life will always have your back. Some might even surprise you in a good way. You'll find yourself smiling at your reflection more and more. And weirdly, what seemed out of reach will become mundane in an amazing, wonderful way. And you'll find yourself thinking more about the future as something that you can control, rather than something that just happens to you. You'll probably learn new things about yourself along the way, too, be it about your gender, your sexuality, or really anything under the sun.

And you might find yourself writing to help out someone who was where you were nearly 30 years ago.

Take care. You probably know already what you need to do. <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friends I want to use they/them pronouns for a bad reason?

I (19F) am 100% a cis girl, but never really felt like I was "allowed" to be girly or feminine because of a lot of internal and external sexism and misogyny in my house growing up. No one ever really acknowledged the fact that I was a girl, unless it was in a negative sense. I was also homeschooled, so that made things worse because limited social interaction and stuff.

Now that I'm older and have a lot more connection with people through the internet, I'm a lot more comfortable with my identity and genuinely love being perceived as a girl. I understand the gender euphoria trans people feel when someone uses she/her pronouns for me. I also feel a hint of disappointment when people I don't know use they/them for me online (e.g. "prev knows their stuff").

With context out of the way, what actually happened was a few weeks ago. I went through a depressive episode, which came with the usual feelings of not ever deserving good things in life or happiness of any kind, and that no one cared/should care about me. As part of that, I withdrew from my friends for a couple days, leaving our discord server and blocking all of them (I know I shouldn't have done that, we worked it out). When I finally returned, I told them in vague terms that things were rough, I was a mess, and I wanted to start using they/them. I'm the only cis person in the group of 8 people so no one batted an eye about my request and just went along with it.

Here's where I might be the ah: the only reason I asked that is because I thought I didn't deserve to feel good about myself in any way, including my gender. My friends don't know I was asking them for help in basically punishing myself. I know if they'd known they would never go along with it. I also feel like an ah for using my privilege of being cis and having accepting friends to punish myself when there's real people in the world suffering because people refuse to gender them correctly.

Additional details that might be relevant: my friends are great, we met online about two years ago in a bigger server and grew closer and made our own small server not too long after. They know about my mental health issues and have helped me a lot. Almost everyone I know irl is transphobic and homophobic, so my reference for what is offensive and what isn't is kinda off. I still live with my family and they're by no means bad people. I'm also in the process of finding a therapist.

What are these acronyms?

[cleolinda]

Every time I get super positive about how the new herniated disc is gonna be fine and not as bad as last time, I get a phone call that’s like, no, it’s worse than you thought. So I am having to retrench now and actually get hold of the surgeon I was recommended—I was going to anyway—but do it ASAP, and accept that he might say, “You do need surgery. Again. In fact, let’s do a spinal fusion. I feel cute today, let’s send you back to the worst pain of your life.” So I am having a totally normal morning feeling sad and anxious about that and I don’t think anyone around me wants to hear it. Literally anyone, not even my therapist yesterday. I think people want to support me with 100% positivity but I also think the situation scares them. But I’d rather fight off tears deal with the idea now than get slapped in the face with crushing reality again. And I can at least say that here, I guess, because I know you guys (gender neutral) are caring people, but you have enough distance from me that there’s space to talk about it.

Maybe it’s just my perception that people won’t let me be afraid, honestly—maybe we just have a cultural insistence on being positive, being A Fighter when you get the diagnosis, and I’m performing that on my own steam. Even online I keep being like, “listen, it fucking sucks but it’s fine, I don’t want to make this sound like it’s life or death.” I don’t know. I want to give an accurate impression of how serious it is or isn’t separate from my feelings, but also write about physical and emotional experiences other people do go through and might want to hear about. At excruciating length. Welcome to hell, it’s my medical ordeals! I baked cookies, grab one in your way in.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

[leithillustration]

I’ve not done an end of year round up before, but here goes! Thank you @monbons and @iamamythologicalcreature for the tags, and @aristocratic-otter for the encouragement. Seeing everyone’s roundups has been really wholesome and enlightening. 

I often don’t give my successes much space for celebration as they tend to get drowned out by the noise of all my mental health difficulties, so this is an exercise in acknowledging the good things from 2024, as well as allowing space for the things I’ve struggled with (while trying not to sound too jaded and cynical 😅). This is a long one so everything is under the cut.

Landmarks: A few significant things

My border collie Simm turned 10

My godson turned 1

I lived with one of my best friends @hattedhedgehogfor 3 months during a time that otherwise would have been rubbish, but he made the whole summer a fun adventure

Inspired by Harry, I made a hand sewn Georgian shirt with ridiculous billowy sleeves. I’ve yet to find an occasion to wear it, but I hold out hope for 2025.

I played DragonAge for the first time (Inquisition) and was not normal about it. The above banner is my Inquisitor Dadron (named for his dad energy and likeness to Ron Swanson)

I started sharing my creative writing on Ao3 for the first time

Took more control over self care and my mental health

Achievements Unlocked: Heath Stuff

I love that some 2024 reviews share personal experiences living with health problems. It’s really validating to see that. It's so easy to forget other people struggle too, they just might not want to share that online. So before I get to the creative things I've done in 2024… watch me over share my health stuff??

Finished seeing my EMDR therapist First time in 4 years I’ve been without any kind of therapy and it’s terrifying but making me work on myself in a new way. Not sure I’m done with EMDR forever, or talking therapy, but I spent a year with a therapist I didn’t vibe with and it sort of added more issues to the pile, so I’m glad I left them.

Dumped GenderGP They replaced a load of their services (including doctors) with AI. After 2 years of treatment under them, I felt so betrayed and worthless. Thankfully I’ve still got a supply of testosterone for now.

Had a minor breakdown in July Work, house stuff, gender things and mental health all got the better of me in July. Things were incredibly bleak for a while there. Surviving is hard sometimes, but I am still here so taking that as a win.

Switched to a new NHS gender care waitlist Was 3 years into a possible 6-7 year wait for a London clinic. Now I am in year 1 of a possible 2-3 year wait for Nottingham. No idea if moving was a good call or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Got on a private gender care wait list for a top surgery referral Yeah, UK trans private health care also has huge wait lists. No idea how long this one is, but I’ve been on it since August and haven’t heard anything yet

Got an ADHD diagnosis!! I am classic ADD, go figure. Had to go private for this too (who needs savings, right?) but I’m now in my 4th week of ADHD meds. It’s been A Time but it’s giving me hope (a tenuous, vulnerable thing) that maybe things won’t always be this hard.

Self Employment: Life as an illustrator in 2024

Always a mixed bag, made all the more challenging by the above health stuff, AI, and the general state of the economy, but in spite of this I have done the following:

Sold work at 6 events Norwich Queer Fest, Harrogate Airecon, UK Games Expo, Norwich Pride, Birmingham MCM, Norwich QueerFestmas. I was filled with imposter syndrome for most of these events, and I’m always very fatigued after, but I know it is good to push myself out of my comfort zone sometimes and I do enjoy meeting likeminded people and seeing people engage with my work. I had some wonderful interactions and I’m so grateful to everyone who came to say hi.

Did 2 actual IRL paintings I hadn’t painted with acrylics at all since around 2020 when I got an iPad. This year I decided to check I can still paint by hand and turns out I’m still ok at it.

Exhibited at a local gallery I also hadn’t exhibited in galleries since around 2018, so taking part in a group exhibition with my new paintings felt like a fun (and scary) opportunity this year.

Storyboarded ‘Unravelled’ graphic novella Unravelled is a horror story about knitting, written by LP Mills. Storyboarding this was a challenge since it required a level of focus I struggle to maintain, but I’m so pleased I was able to do it.  Sadly the kickstarter (that would have paid myself and Mills to fully illustrate and print it) wasn’t successful this year, but we’re holding out hope for future funding.

Illustrated ‘Football Crumpets’ play Football Crumpets is a queer audio comedy written by Lucie Isle. I made a series of character designs and spot illustrations for to advertise the Kickstarter campaign. This campaign was successful and the comedy is now in the process of being recorded by Lucie and her diverse cast of voice actors.

Experienced the worst client of my life I won’t go into detail as this broke me, I lost someone I thought was a friend, and I’ve struggled to build up confidence since. But discussing the experience with fellow creatives made me realise almost everyone has had a client from hell at one point or another. Lessons learned: Always write up a contract in advance and question anything you’re not sure about. Don’t compromise on your work boundaries for friends.

Had 3 character commissions Dramatically down from last year and I wonder how much is due to AI and no one having any money. Who knows! I love illustrating people’s OCs and Dnd characters, and the commissions I did get have been really fun. Two of them are in the banner above this section 👆

Snowbaz & Fandom Adventures

This is only the second year I’ve engaged with the lovely Snowbaz community and I am so glad I pushed myself to do it. I’ve made some wonderful friends and I’m sharing my writing publicly for the first time in years. I’ve not done much compared to most, but I’m trying to pace myself so I don’t burn out and stop enjoying it. I’m hoping to be healthier this year thanks to new meds, so with any luck I’ll be able to do a bit more than in 2024.

Snow On Ice (writer) (M, 3.8K words, chapter 1/12ish) For CORB 24 with concept and artwork by @iamamythologicalcreature is one of the first two fics I’ve ever shared on Ao3 and I’m loving every second of writing this!!

Boundless (writer) (T, 4.5K words, chapter 1/5) Also for CORB 24, this time with @cattocavo This one has taken a bit of a back seat as I’ve discovered the hard way that I can’t write two large fics at once (curse my limitations!!!) but I’m looking forward to getting back to this when I can, especially since Catto has already produced so much incredible artwork for it and it needs to be shared!!!

On Every Wall (artist) (E, 24K, chapters 2/2)written by @orange-peony for CORB 24. I love drawing these boys so much, dammit. It was so good working with Peony and seeing her story unfold based off my indulgent artwork (an edit of which is in the above banner). I wanted to draw so much more for this fic, but health and work got in the way.

Fics that have brought me comfort and joy:

I get through a lot of Ao3 fics, but wanted to give a shout out to the fics that have stayed with me long after reading them. I cannot get over the healing power of writing and how incredible it is that so many of us can find common ground in this way. 

Someone Wicked The first is @artsyunderstudy’s Someone Wicked (Snowbaz, E, Chapters). It wrecked me and then built me back up again in the best way possible. Seeing their artwork is always an inspiration too, and I have listened to their Something Wicked Playlist about a billion times. Like any well adjusted normal person, right??

Blame it on My Youth (Andreil AFTG, E, 1.5M words, Chapters 136/?) I still owe @yourficstheyglow a lengthy Ao3 comment on how much this fic has changed my life. It’s held my hand and encouraged me to look after myself better over the past 6 months in a way therapy never has. I vibed with their depiction of Neil SO HARD. His reluctance to engage with mediation and journalling is so relatable. Along with his frustration at people forever suggesting it to him, and then his irritation that it actually helps a bit. 😂 Reading about Neil shopping around for therapists, working on his communication and downloading self care apps (even though he hates it all every step of the way) has resulted in me printing out charts to help identify my emotions, making a spreadsheet of potential therapists to approach when I’m ready, journaling for the first time in yeeeears and getting a handle on my mental health in a way I never really have before. I even downloaded the stupid Finch app (after years of people suggesting it to me) because Neil did (I named by bird Neil). When I’ve felt lonely and sad, I’ve found reassurance and safety in Neil and Andrew being soft with each other, exploring their boundaries as Andrew works through his trauma from SA, stepping outside of their comfort zones, trusting each other and respecting each other’s limitations. 

Of Cats and Closed Doors (Fitzloved Rote, E, 785K words, Chapters 77/?) I’ve been dipping in and out of this fic by @tragediegh for a good 18 months now, if not longer. I am full of love for the Farseer Trilogy books and ate them up a few years ago. The Liveship Traders came next but then I got too in my head to ready the Tawny Man trilogy, since Fitz and the Fool are so dear to me I didn’t know how to handle them going through more trauma. I just want them to hug and kiss and be loved so badly!! Ellipsis provided a monumental dose of comfort and healing in this fic. It’s become my personal canon. Last year, thanks to this fic, I finally had the courage to start reading The Tawny Man trilogy. I’m on to book 2 now and although I am terrified, I know I can come back to Of Cats and Closed Doors to remind myself in Ellipsis’ universe everything turns out ok!

I think that'll do for 2024! Tags here are to say I appreciate you and thank you for chilling with me in the tumblrverse.

@youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @alexalexinii @cattocavo @that-disabled-princess

@orange-peony @cutestkilla @rimeswithpurple @larkral @best--dress

@scribble-tier @theimpossibledemon @artsyunderstudy @raenestee @thewholelemon

@nightimedreamersworld @itriednottothinkaboutit @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @angelsfalling16

@the-beard-of-edward-teach @monbons @katatsumuli

@aristocratic-otter @snowbazdaily @argumentativeantitheticalg @lovelyladzzzz @eremeldanin

[maaarine]

The Heteronormativity Theory of Low Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men

"Since the birth of the twins, Denise felt a great sense of loss after leaving her previously rewarding job, James’ work increased in duration to compensate for the shift in income, and Denise’s identity as a mother superseded any sense of herself as a partner or lover.

She lost desire for sex and for James completely and perceived his requests for sex as intrusive; they were yet another demand placed upon her following a full day of devoting herself to her two demanding children who slept no longer than 4-h intervals through the night, even now at 22 months old.

James withdrew from childcare and household chores and activities, in part due to exhaustion following his 14-h work days and in part to “punish” Denise for withholding sex from him.

She resented him for expecting that she would be the sole caretaker for their children, and lost attraction for him as he increasingly retreated to online gaming late at night after the twins were asleep.

(…)

And yet, as they went to leave the end of their first session with the therapist, James turned to the provider and asked, point-blank, whether she thought that “the female Viagra” could help solve their woes.

This case study is one example of the issues plaguing perceptions of low sexual desire in women partnered with men.

That is, while James and Denise’s situation seems an obvious example of contextually-determined low desire, James ascribed the problem to a biological dysfunction in Denise’s body.

The idea that low desire rests in the individual reflects an essentialist view of sexuality that has been advanced by the medical field for decades and cogently critiqued. As such, James’ reaction is not particularly surprising or uncommon.

(…)

But why have essentialist, medicalized views of sexuality come to monopolize how people understand low sexual desire?

One argument is neoliberal—that locating the problem of low desire in individuals’ bodies has high financial stakes.

Naming low desire as an individualized biological dysfunction creates a demand for biological (i.e., medical) solutions; thus, pharmaceutical companies stand to gain by selling a “treatment.”

(…)

It reflects what has become a suspiciously common pattern in women’s relationships with men more broadly, where a woman’s sexual desire disappears and/or becomes “too low” and then is deemed a dysfunction within the woman.

This pattern is suspicious because the numbers of women reporting low desire are so high that they might be modal, if not ordinary; and, they are certainly too high to reflect individual pathologies within individual women’s bodies.

It is also suspicious because many women who report low sexual desire describe considerably similar interpersonal problems with their men partners.

Thus, while low desire is likely not an individual problem within Denise’ body, the issues and inequities it results from are also likely not an individual problem within James or the interpersonal dynamics of James’ and Denise’s specific relationship.

Instead, we turn to a structural level explanation: gender norms, following other foundational work.

(…)

Desire is often situated as low because of its relative status to a partner’s level of desire.

Interestingly, however, this is not a gender-neutral process and the bound is often set with the man partner as reference point.

Accordingly, when a woman experiences lower desire than a man partner, her desire is often labeled low.

In the converse situation, however, men are still the referent: in the case of a man reporting lower desire than a woman partner, the woman’s desire is labeled too high (e.g., they are labeled insatiable or “sluts” in negative ways), rather than the man’s desire being labeled too low.

This highlights the gendered subjectivity inherent to conceptualizations of low desire, where low desire is most often seen as residing not just in bodies, but in women’s bodies relative to men’s desires.

(…)

In Prediction 2.1, heteronormativity’s inequitable casting of women into a caregiver-mother role to men partners contributes to the women’s lower desire.

While heteronormativity slots women into nurturant caregiving roles in general, this caregiving is also directed at men partners specifically.

Nurturance—warm, loving, and caring treatment—is a critical aspect of long-term and/or successful relationships, but one inequitably shared between women and men in relationships with each other.

Heteronormative asymmetries in caregiving can matter not only because they are inequitable, but because they translate into dependencies that contravene contemporary norms of relational interdependence.

Interdependent relationships involve a mutual ethic of care, with partners supporting each other simultaneously or sequentially, akin to a something like a mix of equals, friends, and sexual partners.

The gender inequities inherent to heteronormative framings of complementarity violate norms of relational interdependence, transforming expectations of a partner–partner relationship into something closer to one that is caregiver-dependent or mother–child.

Women end up doing many of the same things for their men partners as mothers do for their children, e.g., reminding them of chores, organizing social events (or playdates), buying clothes, ensuring there is food for snacks and meals and that these are made available.

Additionally, women often take on tasks for their husbands or other men partners that were originally performed by the men’s mothers, perhaps an implicitly-held leftover from more historical understandings of marriage.

(…)

In Prediction 3.1, the heteronormative push for women to focus on their appearance, especially during and in reference to sexual activity, contributes to their low desire.

Heteronormativity focuses on women’s sexual appearance over their pleasure, socializing women to be sexy rather than sexual.

It positions women as sexual objects for men partners, and women’s bodies as offerings gifted to men for sex as part of a relationship contract.

This can result in sexual objectification.

The internalization of this objectification—sexual self-objectification—means that women’s desire is often contingent upon whether they think they are desirable.

(…)

Penetrative intercourse is painted as the only version of “real sex” within heteronormativity, but women have a low likelihood of experiencing orgasm (a highly pleasurable experience) with penetrative intercourse.

Heteronormativity means that, though women may want to be sexual, even with men partners, they are often taught that they can’t be in the ways that are more likely to feel pleasurable for them.

This ongoing separation between experiences of desire and sexual pleasure may dampen desire because it is not reinforced or followed up by sexual activity that actually leads to sexual pleasure.

In Prediction 4.3, seeing sex as a duty to perform with men will contribute to lower desire in women.

Some women have sex they want, and some women have sex that their men partners want and that the women are open to.

But a number of women (and almost no men) have reported in a nationally representative survey that they engaged with sex because it was part of their job, a duty or obligation of being married, which is a heteronormative hallmark.

“Duty sex” is not very sexy, and people—including men—report losing sexual interest in this situation, as occurred in our case study above.

(…)

Moreover, that low desire is seen as a medical and health issue could make for a circular association between it and chronic stress.

Women come to know their desire as “too low” and report feeling like failures as women and partners, making for an iatrogenic source of chronic stress.

Locating the “problem” of low desire in women’s bodies and minds ultimately places the responsibility for it on women, arguably a form of gaslighting when the problem exists outside women and will not be fixed with individual effort.

This can exacerbate women’s stress, by placing yet another responsibility on their shoulders but one that is impossible: to fix their desire problem by fixing themselves, when they are not the problem."

[corinescorner]

Why is fakeclaiming harmful?

First, what is fakeclaiming? It means: accusing someone of faking their experience as a system.

One of the most immediate dangers is psychological harm. Accusations of faking can invalidate a system’s sense of identity and exacerbate struggles with self-doubt or imposter syndrome. For trauma-based systems, fakeclaiming can be particularly damaging, as it may re-trigger feelings of shame or guilt tied to their past experiences. It can also worsen mental health conditions, most likely increasing symptoms like anxiety, dissociation, or depression, and pushing systems further into isolation.

The harm can extend beyond individuals and affects the entire community. Fakeclaing ensures division and gatekeeping. Which creates an atmosphere of distrust and judgement within the plural community.

Systems could feel unsafe about sharing their experiences, which could lead to disconnection and alienation. Furthermore, accusations of faking could reinforce social stigma, adding to skeptism and ridicule that systems already face.

This harm is significant for endogenic systems, self-originating or non-trauma related systems, whose experience are often dismissed due to lack of mainstream understanding.

Fakeclaiming also stems from, and reinforces, ableism. It upholds the idea that people with mental health conditions, neurodivergent experiences, or systems, must constantly "prove" their legitimacy to others. This attitude discourages people with DID/OSDD from seeking diagnosis or therpay from fear of being displeased. Which could delay access to validation and care.

Marginalized groups, such as impacted by race, class, or gender, are even more likely to be fakeclaimed. This ableist mindset oversimplifies the complexity of plurality, and disregards how varied and nuanced system experiences can be.

On a social level; fakeclaiming can isolate people from their support systems. Accusations, especially public ones online, can lead to harassment, ridicule, and bullying, keaving systems without emotional or practical support they need.

The fear of being disbelieved may cause systems to hide their experiences entirely, even from therapists and trusted friends. Which prevents them from receiving validation or accessing professional help. For trauma-based systems, this is extremely damaging, as support and understanding are vital for healing.

All in all, fakeclaiming harms everyone, both endogenic and trauma-based systems, as well as the extended plural community. It invalidates real systems, reinforces harmful stigma, and causes emotional and psychological damage.

Instead of accusing others, we should have open mindnessness and supportive words that create a safer space for systems to exist without fear. If there's ever uncertainty for their system, we should focus on listening and harm reduction. No one can fully know another's reality, and invalidation rarely helps anyone.

A culture of compassion, understanding, and love, benefits everyone involved.

[mattgrayyes]

Representation’s important, esp during times like now where people are marginalised and turned into scapegoats regularly.

So here’s some stuff that, while none of your business, I’ll share in case it helps anyone feeling alone:

I’m non-binary & have gender dysphoria.

I’m prob demisexual & polyamorous.

I’ve got ADHD, ASD, & a history of depression, and panic/anxiety disorder.

I take anti depressants monitored by a psychiatrist, and see a therapist regularly.

Long COVID gave me Chronic Fatigue which I’ve had for two years now.

Being “person off the internet” I’m usually careful not to talk about personal stuff. I’m in the odd position where people have a parasocial relationship with me, and are interested in me and my life.

I enjoy sharing my work, humour, and things I’ve made online. But that doesn’t entitle anyone to know anything about my personal life.

I’ve seen other creators have their life and relationships discussed, and I don’t want that.

I’m sharing personal info despite this, in case it helps someone.

[infwctednyacifier]

🗡️⋆｡ ☄️₊˚🛡️ﾟ. SINGLE, EMILYSDIARYOFFICIAL = MOTHER FIGURE– ALTER PACK

I REALLY like emilysdiaryofficial and their art so here's one of their oc’s (Yam) as a headmate!!!

Names – Estella „ Marionette „ Rosanna „ Yam „ Pamona „ Pearl

Nicknames – Stella „ Marion „ Rose „ Rosa „ Pam „ Mona

Age – ageless / immortal ( presumably early to mid 30’s / possibly hundreds of years old )

Pronouns – she / her „ shy / hyr „ star / star’s „ shine / shine’s „ shield / shield’s „ sword / sword’s „ blade / blade’s „ nurture / nurture’s „ protect / protect’s „ comfort / comfort’s „ 🌱 / 🌱 „ ⚕️ / ⚕️ „ 🗡️ / 🗡️ „ ☄️ / ☄️

Gender – cisgirl „ sleepylix „ dreamcoric „ liminalgender

Terms – feminine

Orientation – heterosexual „ polyamorous

Personality – calm „ stoic „ kind „ caring „ protective „ motherly „ sweet „ easily flustered

Role – emotional caretaker „ physical protector „ therapist „ mother figure „ emotional regulator „ emotional booster

Species – humanoid ( presumed human „ possibly Amazonian )

Source – @emilysdiaryofficial

Emojis – 🗡️ „ 🛡️ „ ☄️ „ 💫 „ 🌱 „ ⚕️

Extra – Around 6’2 ( artist said it themself ) . Has white stars and a purple potato clip in her hair . Very neutral and calm when speaking and even during online interactions but is very passionate when it comes to hyr headmates and their safety and health .

Example message – Hello, I’m Yam. I use she/shy/star/shine/shield/sword/blade/nurture/protect/comfort/🌱/⚕️/🗡️/☄️ and I’m your newest headmate. I focus on keeping the system’s physical, mental, and emotional health at it’s best. I’m essentially the system’s new mother and I enjoy the time I’ll spend with the system.

Likes – combat items ( armor & weapons ) „ studying ancient Greek culture „ eating „ napping „ her partners

Dislikes – jealousy „ bad health „ destruction „ giving up „ aggression

Faceclaims –

[authormars]

I'm so sorry to ask, but what do you think about Luci x extremely Paranoid, depressed, and some kind of "polite but very sarcastic" mc?

And no offense really, i...just...I've been dealing with paranoia and depression for many years, and I really just need a bit comfort. If you don't want to do it, just ignore, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or think I'm some kind of cringe weirdo.

Dude, that MC is basically just me. But of course! I'll take any request, don't worry, you're not a bother

As always, with any of my x MC content, MC is gender neutral!

Lucifer read your file, so he already knew about the depression. He and Diavolo had already agreed upon some accomodations for it. You wouldn't be penalized for missing RAD and all of your work would be online, if you wanted to skip the day or the whole week. They had a therapist on hand, both human and demon, if you wanted someone to talk to, and you were free to ask Satan or Lucifer for help if you were behind on work because you missed an important lecture.

Lucifer kept his distance from you mostly. He was busy man and, outside of your penchant for pacts, really only interacted with you if you came to him or if he needed a report for Diavolo.

That was, until he heard you hadn't come out of your room in days. He had researched depression before signing off on your file for the exchange program, but even this was out of the ordinary. No matter who texted you or knocked on your door, you didn't answer. Eventually, he had to take matters into his own hands.

To say it was terrifying when he busted down your door in demon form is an understatement. You had already been feeling absolutely awful and had barely left your bed outside of grabbing the occasional snack to not die. Thankfully, none of the more high energy (Mammon) brothers were with him.

"MC. Why haven't you been answering your DDD?" Lucifer seemed annoyed to even have to come here, making you feel even worse. You were a burden to him. "I know about your depression, but you must complete at least a little work or at least answer our texts." And now he was scolding you.

"So Pridey McPrideface doesn't ever miss texts on his phone? Or not want to do work?" You snapped at him. You were annoyed and the response slipped out. You immediately regretted it, at the angry expression Lucifer gave you. After a moment, the look softened.

"MC. I understand you don't want to complete your work, but perhaps I can be of service. If you do not understand the material or simply need someone to be with you as you complete it, the door to my office is always open." He seemed to have realized his presence was making you uncomfortable so he retreated to the doorway.

"Just please answer your texts. I haven't heard the end of it from Mammon and you can only string him up for so long before it isn't a real punishment anymore."

After your interaction with him, you slowly became more comfortable with him. He stopped being the scary demon who could and probably would kill you, given the chance, and became something of a friend.

He didn't yell at you when you joined him in his study or office. He didn't get mad when you were failing your classes because you couldn't find the motivation for work. He simply offered to tutor you when he could and he didn't bat an eye when you snapped with a sarcastic comment when you got annoyed.

Lucifer started walking you to class when you felt up to go to RAD. As the walks became more frequent, he started noticing all your fidgets. How you would glance at any demon passing by, as if you were scared one might jump out at you and try and hurt you. He noticed how you would narrow your eyes when he made a statement, as if you didn't trust what he was saying.

Eventually, he worked up the courage to ask you about it. He didn't want to pry, but he wanted to make life in Devildom as good as it could be for you. Your answer was not what he expected.

"Paranoia?"

"Yeah. I mean, I feel like everyone is always watching me. Talking about me. Trying to hurt me. Always plotting against me. Even you. I know it's irrational, but I can't stop it. I'm always on the defensive. No one can be trusted"

"Is there... any way I can help? I want to make your experience as good as it can be here, MC."

"I... I don't know"

"Well, if you think of anything, tell me. I will help in any way I can. I promise you, you can trust me."

Over time, Lucifer slowly learned your triggers. He learned not to assume you knew what he meant or that you trusted him. He made sure never to lie to you. No matter what, he wanted to be someone you can trust.

Wow this was long. Sorry if I strayed off topic or didn't do the request correctly!

If you have any requests for x MC content or Character x Character stuff, feel free to send me an ask. I will write basically anything!