#gay ass cigarette hold

[overturetotherestofyourlife]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

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[commandertartarsmoocher]

Even more anatomy practise art

You have been blessed with Tartar Da-Foe! 🎉

You are welcome!

[archangeldyke-all]

Do you remember that scene in season one when Sevika dusted off the chair for that guy with the lighter. I feel like it would be really cute if Sevika did that everytime reader sat down. Like readers across the bar and about to sit down Sev just becomes a track star

CUTE okay i'm just gonna do a whole list of cute little gentlewomanly things she does like this hehehe

men and minors dni

sevika prides herself on treating you right and making it obvious to everybody that you're hers.

so she's borderline obsessive about a few things in your relationship.

for one thing. you are not allowed to open doors for yourself-- not if you're with sevika. (not even if you're leaving in the apartment early morning while she's still sleeping-- sevika will bitch at you for not waking her up all night if you don't nudge her awake to make her come get the door for you.)

anytime you go shopping-- whether it's for groceries or new shoes-- sevika tags along just to help you lug home your bags. (she refuses to let you hold even one. u know that tweet that's like i reached out to grab some grocery bags from my gf and she just moved them all to one hand to hold my hand? that's sevika.) this also means that if you wear a purse or carry a tote bag with you-- sevika's carrying this for you too.

she'll also just carry your shit in her pockets. if you have a lipgloss you want to bring but not enough room to carry it, sevika's shoving it in her pants for you. at any given moment, sevika usually has something of yours shoved in her pockets-- your hair ties, your house keys, your meds... anything.

she'll always pull out chairs for you. even if she has to shout 'wait!' and sprint across the bar to pull out a stool for you-- she'll make a fool of herself wearing a goofy little grin doing just that.

she's always sitting facing the exit of whatever building you're in. she sleeps closest to the door too. she's always sure to pull you to the inside of the sidewalk, walking closest to the street.

you never have to light your own joints or cigarettes around her. sevika's always carefully sparking her lighter at the end of your smoke, sparking you up before she lights her own.

you're the only person in the world sevika lets sit next to her while she plays cards.

and she practically forces her poncho on you if she even suspects that you might be cold.

and no matter how drunk she gets with the gang at the last drop, sevika always insists that she walk you home. even if it's more like you're dragging her wobbily ass down the streets, laughing as she tries to flirt with you on your way back to your shared apartment.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @lavandasz

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

[arathejedi394]

that meme of bucky with the twitter post saying "the winter soldier having flashbacks of gay sex and not knowing why"

“I think I’m gay,” Bucky announces abruptly.

Sam chokes on his beer. Bucky claps him on the back, looking pensively into the dark water. Sam gets a breath, then clears his throat several times before licking his lips.

“What makes you say that?” he asks casually.

“I remember having gay sex,” Bucky answers ponderously. “A lot.”

"A lot?" Sam repeats, now bewildered.

Bucky just nods slowly, his gaze distant. Sam blinks several times, wondering what the hell he's imagining.

“With who?” he demands, looking at him with eyebrows high on his forehead.

Bucky just frowns. “I don’t know. A couple of guys. A big one and a little one.”

Sam looks out at the water, too, mouthing under his breath about how fucking stupid this man can get. Then takes Bucky’s cigarette and drags on it. Bucky snatches it back.

“You’re not a super soldier,” he snaps. “No smoking, kid.”

“Sorry,” Sam replies. “I mean, about – About not remembering… Hm… Oof. That’s, uh, that’s rough, buddy.” He claps Bucky on the shoulder, glancing over his shoulder with a grimace for their friend, the one who was little but now is big and is now retired so he can paint large blue watercolors of some vague masculine figure over and over again, that friend. He faces the water again and blows out his breath. Idiots. Jesus Christ man.

Bucky sighs, wistful, then drags on the cigarette himself. The boat rocks behind them.

“Did I hear you say you remember having gay sex?” Steve calls from behind them.

Bucky glances over his shoulder at him. “Yeah,” he says, nodding. “You know anything about that?”

Sam looks at Steve, raising his eyebrows. Steve’s lower lip wobbles for a second and then he just smiles.

“I’m sure you’ll remember,” he then says quietly.

Bucky nods, turning back. Sam drops his jaw at Steve, who just lowers his gaze and sits down on a bench, hands in his lap and head down. Like a kicked puppy. Sam blusters, half gesturing between the two of them, but Steve shoots him a glare and Bucky doesn't notice. Sam looks between the two of them for over a minute, just watching these two idiots standing five feet apart because they’re not gay.

“Okay,” Sam declares, “that’s it! I’ve had it up to HERE with the homoerotic tension on this boat!”

Bucky looks up, frowning. Steve jerks his head up, too, his eyes wide. Sam points with both hands at Steve, but looks at Bucky.

“He knows somethin’ about you being gay for sure!” he snaps. “Frankly, I think he knows more about it than you do! Double frankly! I know that for a mothafuckin' fact!”

Bucky opens his mouth, looking bewildered, then glances between Steve and Sam. “Huh?”

Sam slaps himself in the face with the hand not holding his beer. Bucky frowns at Steve. Steve blushes and looks towards the stern of the boat. Bucky suddenly gasps, jerking a hand up to point.

“I fucked you!” he shouts.

Steve blushes harder, bright red behind his beard, as he look down into his lap, then he nods, seeming speechless.

Sam smacks himself on the forehead again, making a face at their stupidity. Then Bucky shoves his cigarette back into his hand, and he storms right up to Steve and hauls him off the bench by the back of his shirt. Steve squeaks adorably for a man of his large size, but Bucky starts dragging him off the boat.

“Okay?” Sam calls after them as Steve stumbles to keep up with Bucky. “Bye, I guess?”

“Thanks!” Bucky shouts over his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Steve says.

“I’m fucking your face in that alley over there, sweetheart,” Bucky announces. "Then I'm coming all over your beard."

“I did not need to hear that!” Sam shouts back. “Didn’t need to hear that! I expect to be both of y’all’s best man at your wedding! And the officiant! And I’mma give both of y’all away, too!” He turns, then pivots, jabbing his finger in their direction. “And it better be a destination wedding, gay ass dumbasses! I wanna go to Bali!”

Steve waves his middle finger behind him as he skips, eagerly, along behind Bucky down the pier. Sam shakes his head, turns, and puffs on the cigarette again.

“Gay ass dumbasses,” he mutters, “one looks over, the other’s already looking away. My ass.”

[the-music-maniac]

I get a little annoyed when people's complaints about zosan stray into the "Sanji would never fall for Zoro because of personal hygiene issues" territory. Mostly because I feel like it involves a fundamental misunderstanding about their dynamic and also Sanji as a character.

First of all, Sanji smokes cigarettes and cooks seafood and shit. Even if he does shower daily, there is no way he smells like a rose garden. So there's that.

Second of all, Sanji is a COOK. You literally cannot be a cook if you're afraid of getting your hands dirty, if you're afraid of working up a sweat. He knows the value of hard work in that regard. For his craft, Sanji gets all up in some fish guts, he hunts, he cleans, de-feathers, skins, butchers whatever creature they've managed to hunt - come on y'all. That is not a man that would be a germaphobe. He keeps his workspace and himself clean cause that's the mark of a good cook, but the man would have no qualms about getting dirty. He ain't squeamish.

Third, Sanji's entire thing is that he ACTS like a refined gentleman, but he's a little bit batshit crazy in the same way all the strawhats are. He's one of the monster trio for a reason! They're all freaking unhinged, Sanji's first reaction to seeing sea monsters is to yell that he wants to cook it. He's fought so many battles, I've no doubt that there's blood soaked into the soles of his fancy loafers, caked into some of the hems of his suit pants. My point being that while him acting like he's a gentleman with "refined tastes" is no means deception (he probably has excellent taste when it comes to dining) he also doesn't fit that description entirely. He strives for it, in order to maintain an image, and it also plays into his whole "ladies man" thing as well. But he's not actually a refined gentleman in our traditional interpretation of the word. He's down to slum it if needed, and will kick a person's ass for not finishing a soup that has a bug in it because it would mean wasting food. Also the man has worn orange crocs. Refined my ass.

Fourth, you can deny it all you want, but Zoro and Sanji have always been and will likely always be, two people that match each other's freak. And by that I mean that all it takes is Zoro muttering one little disparaging comment, and Sanji is immediately there, ready to throw down, dirt and sweat be damned. If he were to complain about Zoro's supposed bathing habits and shit, while I don't doubt some of it would be genuine complaint, it probably would mostly be because it would annoy Zoro. But when it comes down to stuff Sanji actually gives a shit about, hygiene would probably not be high up on that list. He is 100% that motherfucker that would get heart eyes over Zoro eating sugar onigiri out of the mud to spare a little girl's feelings.

I get annoyed by people using that argument as if it's a legitimate reasoning for why Zoro and Sanji wouldn't get together. Like what impression of Sanji do you have in your head? You think the dude that constantly knocks foreheads with Zoro during their antagonistic (gay) posturing would get squeamish about Zoro being a little sweaty? Sanji can be your babygirl if you want, but we gotta stop acting like he's the type to get squeamish over stuff like that - there's no way that out of ALL the issues Sanji has yet to work through locked up in that pretty noggin of his, that personal hygiene would be the hold up on a relationship between these two. The zosan dynamic is Sanji complains loudly about Zoro being a disgusting brute and then will turn around and roundhouse kick a man's head off. Like yes, Sanji. That's not the pot calling the kettle black at all.

None of this is a complaint btw. That's literally my favourite part about Sanji, and Zosan as a whole. Sanji wouldn't be nearly as interesting if he was just a gentleman. Zosan wouldn't be as compelling if they weren't two lil peas in a pod, equally as unhinged. The only difference is Zoro puts literally no effort into trying to hide his level of derangement. Which is also very in character for him, btw.

[marksbear]

Heyyyy I always love you fics🤭🤭 I would like to request a Lip Gallagher X Top Male Reader. This is just if requests are open and if you have the time🤭

-💋

.Hiii Love! Thank you for loving my fics! I love lip with every single bone in my body let me tell you. Since day one I have loved that man. I'm making sfw and nsfw headcanons!

LIP GALLAGHER X TOP MALE READER

-You are most definitely his bisexual awaking.

-He'll quit smoking and drinking if you just say the word. I mean he'll go completely sober and clean if you'd just ask.

-Meet you in the school bathrooms during randoms times in the days just to kiss/ makeout or just spend time together in there.

-Likes to ramble about you to Ian. He'll talk about you to him for hours on end until he can't even say anything about you anymore.

-Doing reckless shit together most of the time yall hangout.

-Gives you an extra key to the house.

-Likes to sneak inside your house even though he could have just knocked.

-Him not giving a shit about homophobic remarks people make about the two of you.

-Tries to keep you steer clear from Frank. I mean Frank already ruined his whole life he doesn't want him to ruin his love life now.

-Wouldn't mind leaving this place and starting a new one while having a family with you. Its something that he frequently dreams about and hopes to have with you one day.

-He cherishes the days when you two just lay in bed together not even talking or doing anything.

-Making out in the living room inside the Gallagher house while crazy shit just plays in the back. The two of you are just in your own little world while everything outside of it is just hell.

-While Lip was in college you'd two would be in his dorm room studying with each other. And having breaks here and there making out.

-He secretly loves it when you walk him home especially when it's night.

-Loves pda.

-Secretly to be treated like a prince or arm candy. He likes it when you brag and compliment him in front of your friends.

-If you have a job he'll be there waiting for you to be done working. Like he'll just walk around wherever you work or just follow you around as you work like a lost puppy.

-Tries to keep you out of the family Gallagher drama.

NSFW Headcanons!

-After the two of you first fucked he was completely shocked and satisfied in the same time.

-Loves it when you man handle him. It's just something about being thrown around that he loves.

-He absolutely loves sucking your dick. Hes infatuated with it and tries to suck it anytime. And especially during risky times.

-He's into a lot of things. Like degrading, thrill of being caught, size difference, choking and rough. I mean can you blame him.

-Tries to act dominant outside of the relationship. Tries to act like he's the man/ top of the relationship, but in reality he's a slut who likes to be used and treated like trash.

-Rides your cock like there's no tomorrow. He loves holding and grabbing onto your chest as he does it.

-VERY VOCAL.

-When hes with a woman hes mild he can be quiet and loud sometimes, but with you hes LOUD. He's moaning out every cuss word in the book as he screams about how good you make him feel.

-Very much into cigarette after sex or just smoking a blunt during it.

-While he smokes he'll just blow smoke on your dick as he is about to give you head.

-Loves to call you anything you'd like. Just tell him and hours later in bed hes moaning out the name like his life depends on it.

-Likes to say you took his gay virginity.

-He likes to grind his ass down on your cock whenever he can. He'll just do it out of nowhere.

-Likes to jerk you off during the most random and worst times. You two could just be in the train sitting down in the seats he'll randomly just move his hand to your crotch palming you through your pants.

-He loves facials.

-Loves kissing randomly during sex. Something about that just turns him on so much.

-He loves dirty talk. And especially just randomly at times. You just leaning over to him and whispering the most filthy dirtiest things in his ear.

-Loves it when you mark him. It can be bite marks, hickeys hand prints you name it he loves them with all his soul. Likes bragging about it and showing people like its nothing.

THE END

[kallisonyma]

arthur morgan and his fucked up sonic the hedgehog popsicles

arthur morgan fucking hard with an ikea table

rest in peace arthur morgan you would’ve loved those fucked up sonic the hedgehog popsicles

[waitmyturtles]

I LOVE 4 MINUTES.

I love it! GAAAAAHHH, I love it. While Be On Cloud’s KinnPorsche was so BL-referential, I just love this juicy Dr. Sammon-mystery genre that takes us out of trope-land. Queer murder mysteries, my beloved.

I have no theories, per se, about where I think this show is going, but I am going to jot down some observations for my own posterity and memory. After reading some theories on Twitter (including one that Dr. Sammon herself retweeted), I went back and fast-forwarded through all the episodes so far, so here are my notes (and these VERY WELL may have been repeated in the tag, so I apologize if I’m just pooping what we’re already assuming here).

1) This Twitter account noted that Tonkla saw his cat in episode 1, after what-we-assume-to-be present-day boing with Korn. Tonkla sees this AFTER Korn rushed off after getting off the phone. After this week’s episode, we seem to be informed that said cat had died in the past.

We also know that Tonkla has a habit of lighting up after sex and during times of duress.

There might be more than just tobacco in those cigarettes he’s lighting up, I’m not sure, but we also know he hits the shabu, pipe-wise.

Besides Great being in what I assume to be, and what I call, a fever-state, or better phrased, a cardiac episode, I am assuming that Tonkla is transcending his own lines of reality through drug use.

1a) [(A quick aside: I just wanna say that I will be VERY. CURIOUS. as to how Tonkla’s drug use is positioned alongside his predilections for unprotected sex, and if I think there will be public health commentary in this. Drug use is, of course, generally not recommended by medical professionals, and at the same time, it’s a culturally important element of many facets of queer culture that many physicians who work with LGBTQ+ patients are trained to be aware of; for example, using poppers to ease the process of preparing for intercourse. I don’t know if the show means to indicate that Tonkla, vis à vis being on PrEP and meth at the same time, is an automatically unsafe person…but he also might be a murderer… so yeah, I will be curious about this underlying public health messaging.)]

1b) (Speaking of public health, yo, we needed those Durex bottles in episode 4, YOWCH.) (😬) (ANYWAY.)

2) So, speaking of Great and Tonkla living in their own realities, I also want to posit that Tyme has created his own sense of delirium by literally not sleeping.

Homeboy is on his shifts, he’s working out, he’s solving mysteries, he’s kicking literal ass, he’s investigating and courting Great, he’s following Korn. He’s doing a lot! We haven’t caught him sleeping yet, again, literally.

I wonder if this may be Dr. Sammon commenting on the culture of insanely long shifts for doctors, which impacts their mental and physical well-being. We’ve also separately learned that Tyme is driven by revenge, and by a need to support his grandma and save Nan. But how can he do all of that, if he’s physically depriving himself of the ability to rest? I don’t know if this is going to go anywhere, but I do notice the camera work, whenever Tyme is scrubbing out of a shift, re-centering from a tilt, which makes me wonder about what these shots are telling us about his mental state (and we saw comparable camera work when Tonkla thought he saw Dome).

(I’m also not forgetting that the show shows him stabbed at the very start of the series, and I’m constantly wondering about that.)

3) Finally, I want to offer that Korn, Great, and Tyme are not out. At least for Great and Tyme, does that contribute to a delirium mindset (and maybe even Korn, too) by way of the stress of holding in secrets? (Please note that this linked article is from 2004 and does not have fully updated terminology.)

I don’t know if this theory holds for Great, because a popular theory for him at the start of the series was that he may not have realized he was gay until he met Tyme. I don’t know that I saw that in my very-fast rewatch except for his surprised looks during the stitches moment in the hospital. Great’s comfort with Tyme in the car after the claw machines makes me think he knew more about his sexuality, and his physical separation from his family at the dinner table in episode 1 also makes me wonder if he realized his preferences were always going to separate him from his nuclear family. I’m not sure, but I’m chewing on this.

4) So, where I’m gonna go entering into episode 5 is that there isn’t a centered or accurate “present day” for anyone….mayyyybe except for Korn, who is certainly living his own fever dream of being stuck in a reeeeeeally bad job, but maybe isn’t being subjected to mental delirious psychoses (just, you know, the general stress of hating your work thoroughly). But I could be wrong there, too, because we know that Korn is driven by greed, filial piety, and a desire to take over the family business. So maybe that’s creating a delirium of his own, one that takes him away from his boyfriend for weeks at a time.

4a) (By the way, isn’t it interesting that we are not seeing NC scenes with Korn and Fasai? I know, I know, Be On Cloud does queer/BL content, but. I think it’d be interesting if the show ran the gamut of intimacy. Just a thought.)

Anyway! This show is so good, it’s making me babble. I absolutely love it, and it is the comeback that Bible Wichapas deserves.

[trash-gremlin]

VHS Christmas Carols Spoilers

a bunch of my favourite parts and reactions in the VHS Christmas Carols bc i think it needs more love (its incredible btw and definitely worth the money)

i will never get over curts acting choices for this line, the little laugh before saying it and his FACE OH MY GOSH HIS ACTINGGGGGG

maybe the real gift was the love we had for each other and the sacrifices we were willing to make to make the other one happy

these three and their vogue-esque gay ass little song is the only thing that matters to me

it took me forever to turn that into a gif so i hope you enjoy it as much as i do

their reactions to the match girl showing up + brian mouthing "what the"

again laurens reaction to the match girl

ugh ATE

smth i only noticed on like the third rewatch - you can see scrooge holding and inspecting the watch he bought off jim when he bumps into the match girl

this is here bc they all look very good in that lighting especially lauren

embarrassing to admit it took me until here to realise that the match girl died

ajs little smile makes it feel like scrooge is taunting bob here and i love ittttt especially as hes calling him bobby

THIS

the ghost of christmas past jumping rope + scrooge being confused and doing it too

meredith lighting the ghost of christmas past's cigarette

scrooge basically begs his younger self in this scene, i absolutely love ajs choices in this show as scrooge. also i am such a huge fan of this casting not only because they are both phenomenal actors that i will never shut up about but they genuinely look similar and it works very well in this context

scrooge honey you cant fight the christmas electricity

HUGE dad energy

the top of his tiny tim shirt poking out + he looks really good here

funny little thing i noticed - his shirt isnt buttoned, just folded over itself. in the actual show you can see him tuck it under his jacket those quick changes must be killing them

the way he begs them and they dont even react.. paired with the music and this is horror movie level stuff

he got his watch back :,)

no im not crying, i have allergies... yea im allergic to being sad

i went back and made it a gif bc LOOK. LOOK AT HIS ACTING OH MY GOD. IF YOU COULD HEAR THE WAY HE SAID IT YOUD BE JUST AS INSANE AS ME HOLY SHITTTTTTT

this show is incredible go rent it right now if you havnt seen it, go rent it again if you have, and sacrifice all of your money and worldly possessions to starkid thank you and goodnight

[shakesthewizard]

Now I want to know some of your polycule dynamic ideas for the bad kids???

This is a dream come true, okay walk with me

Let's start out with a couple of what I would consider fundamental pairings. In most any configuration of the group you can think of, most if not all of these are gonna be necessary for me to really get invested.

Fabriz. Duh. Need I say more.

Fabadaine. It's my fucking roman empire and I WILL go on about it for another thousand words if you ask

Figadaine. Support women's wrongs! Going shopping! My girlfriend is a rockstar and we make out backstage! My girlfriend is the elven oracle and we make out twice because she has a vision of it happening first!

I've also got some pairings that are nice on their own, but that I don't find like, mandatory if you're gonna sell me on something.

GorgugxFig. She's so loudly angry to hide her fear; he's so quietly scared of his own anger. She made him join her band and he's probably the better musician. They're so nice to each other.

FigxKristen. Fall into temptation. Make out with the devil on your shoulder. She helps you kill your god. She becomes your devoted paladin. The ArchDevil of Rebellion pulls you into a cosmic war against the very divinity you were the Chosen One for.

Now as for larger groupings, things get pretty fun. There are so many to choose from. Like for example:

The Bad Boys. Like as a throuple. Think about it. You're the cool son of a famous pirate; you're already kicking ass at bloodrush; youre hot shit. A metalhead and a briefcase kid latch onto you like barnacles. This is so embarassing. Cut to a month later and you're all on a rooftop sharing a cigarette and looking at the stars. The briefcase kid kisses you, and metalhead is next in line. Briefcase kid is also your best friend, even without the insane new tension and the fact that he can dismantle your coolguy persona with seemingly no effort. He tastes like burnt coffee. Even ignoring how metalhead can crack skulls, but treats you with gentleness and even hesitation, like he's afraid you'll turn him down. As if. His bangs get in the way when he kisses you.

The Bad Girls as a throuple. This one feels almost too obvious for words. Three girls who are all trying so hard and failing to be normal, but from three different directions. Imagine one day seeing the uptight wizard girl with rich parents and girl who tried to convert you to fantasy mormonism on her first day both walk into school one day holding hands with that punk girl who's in a band and who has already turned like six other students gay just by being cool and pretty. Then at lunch, they're all sitting together, and the elf and the cleric both have the bard's lipstick on their lips and cheeks. The cleric looks at you. She winks. You go home confused.

Figaydadaine. Figayda I don't have to sell you on, but you can't tell me Ayda and Adaine aren't so fucking cute together it hurts. They make spells for each other! Adaine has the key to the Wizard's Synod! Adaine killed her dad with Ayda's spell. Come ON, this shit writes itself. Honestly Aydaine is so good by itself

There's also an extended world of qpr among the bad kids - Rizdaine would be a great example of this. I don't think of them as a Couple, but they are SO close and there's so much trust and intimacy there. That's a pair that cuddle while watching movies or doing mystery stuff.

qpr FigGug is another great possibility. Just take all the sweet support and kindness they already have and pry out the romance.

I think if you pitched me another pair/group I could find something interesting about it, but those are my off-the-dome thoughts. Thanks for asking!

[sadhours]

Billy and Steve kinda drunk at Tina’s stupid party, decide to smoke a j together and end up jerking each other off because you know, they’re not gay and anything more would just be too gay 😉

I really fucking love these two, thank you for this request.

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, they uh jerk each other off, it’s not gay I swear, drug and alcohol use

💟💟💟💟💟

“She said I’m bullshit,” Steve mumbles, “That we’re bullshit.”

Why the fuck he’s saying this to the new guy who stalked up to him with his chest puffed as their first interaction, he isn’t sure. But it’s been a few hours since Nancy basically broke up with him and left with Byers. And Steve was just gonna go home. He hadn’t drank before then, planned on staying relatively sober for the night but that went out the window when he passed a bottle of vodka on his way out. Drank about half of it before he stumbled downstairs in the basement and found who other than Billy Hargrove, Hawkins new Keg King as the fucks he used to call his friends gloated about seconds after Hargrove took the record out from under Steve.

Hargrove was by himself. Sat on the couch Tina’s mother decided was out of fashion and retired to the finished basement. Looks like it’s mostly meant for storage. Loads of boxes. Steve was coming down here to be alone. Get a second to breathe. Asked Billy what the hell he was down here for and turns out, for the same thing. Then he held up a rather fat joint and asked King Steve to join him.

Half a joint and the rest of the vodka bottle later, Steve’s venting to the new King Asshole.

“Girls’ are bullshit,” Billy says with a strained voice, holding the skunky weed smoke in his lungs. Exhales. Looks cool and it annoys Steve, cause he used to care about looking cool and he wishes that didn’t change. At least he didn’t hurt inside this much then. Billy passes the joint back, “They’re only good for one thing and honestly, they ain’t that fucking super at that either.”

Steve’s inclined to agree, mostly out of hurt. Maybe shit would’ve been easier for him if he did to Nancy what he’s done to all the other girls he’s been with. Unfortunately, he liked her.

“She wasn’t,” he huffs, “I mean— Nancy’s great.”

Billy snorts, leans back and wraps an arm around Steve’s shoulders. He smells like some musky cologne, beer and cigarettes. But Steve kind of likes looking at him and he’s not sure why.

“Bitch dumped you,” Billy whispers, leaning close to Steve like this is some big secret, “You’re allowed to be mad at her. Granted, I don’t know what the fuck you did but King Steve, you’re a senior in high school. Bitches come and go.”

Steve huffs again and sits back, ‘cause he can’t argue without explaining a whole bunch of weird, confusing shit he doesn’t even completely understand himself to a complete stranger. He rubs his palms against his eyes, wants them to stop stinging. Billy’s being nice now but again, he’s a stranger. And if Tommy’s clinging to him like a stubborn barnacle, he’s probably not all that kind. There was something in his eyes when he stared Steve down earlier that was scary. Because Steve didn’t understand it. If he wanted to kick Steve’s ass, he could’ve but he didn’t. Just stared at him like he wanted something out Steve but Steve still can’t figure out what.

“Sorry— I shouldn’t be whining about this shit to you,” Steve laughs, awkwardly, “I don’t even know you.”

“But I know you,” Billy replies with a smirk.

“Y-you do?” Steve looks back to Billy with hesitation, perhaps even a little fearful.

Billy nods slowly, lips pursed with the joint hanging from them. Plucks the paper from his lips and passes it back to Steve as he says, “You’re all these boring fucks care about. King Steve is the only thing they can talk about. Barely been here but I know all about you.”

Steve likes this fact but he also feels guilty that he likes that, because he isn’t supposed to care about the whole popularity thing anymore. He even blushes hearing it, shakes his head and takes the joint. Takes a small pull and passes it back because he’s already too stoned and school’s gonna be hell tomorrow.

“Yikes,” he says and Billy laughs, cruel and deep in his belly and it makes Steve feel uneasy. But he likes sitting on this couch down here, hidden behind stacks of boxes. Labeled things like XMAS DECORATIONS and TINA’S SUMMER CLOTHES.

“They like you still,” Billy whispers, smoothes his fingers down the back of Steve’s neck. Gives him chills but he doesn’t move.

“Wanna forget about her?” Billy asks then, “Just for right now?”

“Yes,” Steve chokes out in spite of how his brain’s firing off about how this is weird and he should be getting home. But mom and dad are out of town again. And he does wanna forget about Nancy. Wants to get this hurt out of his chest.

Billy’s hand drops to Steve’s lap, he pulls another drag from the joint and exhales the smoke in Steve’s face. His hands barely moving but Steve can feel it. And maybe it’s the smoke making his head feel all fuzzy and his body feel all warm. His dick’s getting hard. Because Billy Hargrove is feeling him up over his Levi’s.

His palm pushes a little harder on Steve’s crotch, his eyes look straight ahead as he finishes off the joint. Pinches the cherry between his fingers before he tosses it to the floor. Steve watches it and then looks straight ahead like Billy does. Next, Billy grabs Steve’s wrist and pulls his hand to Billy’s tight jeans. Drops it in his lap. And Steve’s filled with a curiosity he’s never felt before. He starts rubbing Billy’s crotch. He kind of wants to look at Billy’s face but he’s scared to. Keeps his eyes trained on a rolled up rug in the corner of the room.

The pressure of Billy’s palm on his cock feels nice. It’s easy to focus on it. Weed’s always made Steve a little frisky. Everything just feels hotter. Kissing feels better, eating pussy is funner and it makes his cock like, a million times more sensitive. So he’s fully torqued in his jeans. Feels like Billy is too. Which weirdly enough, turns Steve on even more and his hips kind of roll up into Billy’s touch. And it has to be the weed that makes Steve whine. He’s trying to ignore that it’s Billy’s hand on him but he can’t, really. Gives himself a moment to glance down at his hand on Billy’s lap and finds that Billy has some pretty seriously defined abs. And it’s real weird that he likes them. Definitely the weed.

Soon enough, Billy’s unbuttoning Steve’s jeans and Steve moves to help get them down his thighs, along with his underwear. His cock pops out, bounces and hangs. Billy’s also pulling his pants and underwear down and then he’s spitting on his hand and wrapping his fingers around Steve’s cock.

Steve whimpers from the wet touch, eyes rolling back in his head as his hips stutter up. Billy’s voice is quiet and strained when he asks, “Thinking about her?”

“No,” Steve confesses, looks down at where Billy’s languidly stroking him and it’s odd seeing another man’s hand wrapped around his cock. Not odd enough to stop this, though. He returns the favor, spits a glob of saliva into his palm and smears it over Billy’s thick cock. Squeezes at the base, curls his hand on the upstroke. Billy lets out a sweet, breathy noise that Steve likes a lot. Different than a girls’ moan but just as pretty, he thinks.

Steve gasps when Billy squeezes his cock a little tighter and speeds up his strokes. Quick and firm. Steve mirrors it with his own hand on Billy. Steve stares down at his own crotch, Billy does the same. The pair of ‘em gasping and moaning softly. Steve comes first, a mess on his thighs and Billy’s fist. And the blonde strokes him through it. Steve’s whimpering and it’s pretty damn pathetic the way his hips cant up in the air. Billy’s following suit soon after, jerking his hips up as he fucks Steve’s fist.

The boys sit back, hands loose around softening dicks as they pant. Steve looks down at the mess in his lap, not sure how to clean it. He glances around the room but there’s not much in here. Just the couch and boxes. So Steve leans forward, shucks off his blazer and uses that to soak up the cooling cum on his thighs and hand. Hands to Billy before pulling up his briefs and pants. And this whole interaction has sobered him up. The realization that he and the new guy have just jerked each other off in Tina’s fucking basement hits him hard and Steve needs to leave. So he does. Without a word to the guy.

Worst part, at basketball practice the next day. Both of them wildly hungover. Billy crowds behind Steve and says, “Harrington, right? Heard you used to run this school, that true?” like he didn’t just jerk him off the night before.

[akilikesbread]

quotes from watching trigun stampede with my friends so SPOILERS:

“Bro he even falls zestily” (in reference to wolfwood)

“oh cool flashback” “more like a VASHBACK am i right? ZINGER” “kys.”

“my lawyers have advised me to not discuss what i would do to his stupid fluffy blonde hair”

WW: “the big man upstairs made me strong” “The big man upstairs made me like people with wires and mandibles.”

*vashs arm gets sucked into a blackhole* “bro wtf, hollow purple”

“boy why you so 🪴”

“motherfucker so gay the cigarette bends the second it touches his mouth”

“this is just a documentary of california”

*BadLads gang shows up* “BL? Boys love? They kiss men?”

*Livio standing menacingly* “SANS???”

*in reference to eye of Michael* “Why’s their logo literally new mexico”

*Legato appearance* “blue hair AND PRONOUNS??” “whats with daman mills and voicing gay men”

*Woowoo getting tortured* “theyre injecting 🏳️‍🌈 into his bloodstream”

*First wolfwood appearance* “He better hit people with that fucking cross”

“he looks hot when hes troubled”

*In reference to Rosa* “If pregnant lady dies i’m leaving the call

“OH MY GOD HES REDPILLED.” “Vashed and redpilled”

“Tricum stampede”

*we were watching on an illegal site so it kept opening new tabs* “AHHHH PORN”

*wolfwood gets fucking bent in half by legato* “Bro where can i get a massage like that”

“Roberto looks like. hold on.” The image sent:

“if the animation was a person i’d make out with them sloppy style. with tongue.”

*in Rollo’s old town with the biblical radio shit* “Guys this sounds just like something my bus driver would say”

*zazie turns into a swarm* “would you still love me if i was a worm :(“

“vash’s mom is pretty” “i’m gonna stop you right there.”

*vash.* “LOOK AT HIS SLUTTY WAIST”

“yeah nai just really liked taking out arms this episode”

*knives playing the piano in the distance* “IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER😨😨😨”

EG Bomber: “MASTER KNIVES😈” my friend in the zestiest voice ever: “master😳”

Vash: *reloading* “THATS SO FUCKING HOOOOTTT” “i wish i was that gun.”

*wolfwood gets fucking run over* “i think hes my new favorite character”

*vash getting chased by the residents of jenora rock* “california has never looked livelier”

“Call me Millions Knives.” “edgy ass emo name, he sounds like hes a 13 year old emo who listens to panic at the disco and cries himself to sleep at night.”

“is this prophetic stress dream bothering you queen”

“i wish Californian sand looked as good here, dont eat the californian sand, its chunky”

*conrad appears* “LUIGI???”

“so this is julai…” “its still may dude, idk how to tell you this”

*Julai screenpan.* “THIS IS JUST VEGAS.”

*wolfwood and vash running away* “me when i skeddadle”

*vash gets shot and walks away* “bros like ‘damn i just got shot :(‘“

“Nicholas the Punisher.” “he can punish me if he wants I MEAN WHAAAAAT”

*That Roberto Scene™️* “*through tears* SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE SHOW?”

*Knives dramatically playing piano* “You and that fuckin church organ.”

“5gum stampede”

“Why is nai so jacked???” “theyre both built like brick shithouses”

*Meryl points a gun at conrad* “KILL YOURSELF OLD MAN.”

“WHYS NAI CLENCHING HIS ASS SO HARD…”

“Vash wake up!!” “THIS ISNT LIKE YOU POOKIE”

*Wolfwood steals one last cigarette from Roberto* “Rare cigarette that wasnt fucked up”

“WHO CUT THEIR HAIR.” “Xinqiu.” “Yelan ass haircuts.”

*talking about vash* “hes such a shonen protag. Food friendship and (avoiding) fighting”

“Knives, ur literally gay. i dont wanna hear it.”

“The entrance to the higher plane!” “it looks like a butthole.”

*Knives fucking just floating into the higher dimension* “*cackling*” “WHY HE SLIDE LIKE THAAAT” “stone scraping sound effect”

“Vash shouldve been called damian”

“Prepare mentally for episode twelve, take a deep breath, take a sip of water-“ “KISS A MAN” “DONT KISS A MAN” “KISS A MAN!!!”

*start of episode twelve.* “surely this wont be horrifying”

“I promise to protect you both.” “well you really sucked at that, huh.” “yeah fuck you rem” “HELP???”

*looks at Nai* “Whys he wearing a speedo…”

*Red geranium sprouts in tint Vash’s hand* “NAI LOOK DO YOU WANNA SEE A MAGIC TWICK”

*Running through field of red geraniums* “this reminds me of the angry birds logo”

“metal wing?” “its made of knives, yk, like his name :D” “shut up.” “alright then.”

*chanting* “CUBE!!!!”

“HES GONNA STAMPEDE!!!”

“kiss my vash!!”

[theehorsepusssy]

TheeHorsepussys Portland : Vaseline Alley aka Stark Street aka Harvey Weinstein ( I always get that mixed up) Harvey Milk Blvd

Documenting some gay-ass history for the kids

Red Arrow - 2 blocks to Touche. Not gay but spent most of the 90s in that bar. Fancy looking dining room/pool room but mostly service industry clientele. Hard to find a spot to do drugs discreetly.

Green - Everyday Music. Where to sell vinyl for dope money.

Yellow - Big BIG abandoned, scary building. Looked haunted. Was eventually renovated. But gave you the heebie-jeebies walking past it at night. Gay bashing zone

Green Arrow - The City Nightclub. Underage nightclub. Chicken Hawks(is that Gus Van Sant?), lots of drugs, good DJ downstairs, GREAT DJ upstairs

Red - The Henry Weinhard Brewery (demolished) Made the area smell really, really awful. Gagging thinking of it.

(Stark Street starts to the right here. It looks like they built some weird barrier in the intersection..probably cuz drunk gays in middle of street)

Orange - The Bathhouse. Home away from home. I would sell rip-off size bags of meth to subsidize my habit. Sucked a huge penis here. Gagging thinking of it. Gay bar downstairs was called either Flossies or Silverado or both. Male strippers. Would buy my shitty little bags of dope.

Blue Arrow - at one moment in the 90s, a sex club I think owned by Fantasy Video. Robert would meet his side piece there . The director Todd Haynes, I fuzzily recall reading, was a patron. I went once. Weird vibe. There was a plaque on the wall outside the entrance commemorating the recording of Louie, Louie.

Orange - The Eagle. Bar where it was common to have sex. I saw a guy take a foot up his butt. Cops started randomly coming in to cock block. There is a new bar called the Eagle up in NE Portland up by the Heroin Fred Meyer (I suppose they all are now)

Blue - Transient hotel above the store I hated buying cigarettes from but can't recall why. Maybe it was expensive.

Green - Greasy spoon called Roxys. Horrible breakfast food 24/7. I think it used to be down the street on Everett. Had a tiny basement bar. Moved to Vaseline Alley in 90s. Had ginormous picture of Quentin Tarantino or some shit. Very 90s

Yellow - Three Sisters (Six Titties) dive bar/gay bar. Never really went there. At some point was a male strippers bar. Robert had me escort one of his side pieces there. Kid thought the stripper was really into him. I tried to explain. I won $600 on the poker machine and drove the kid home.

Orange - Django Records. Large amounts of cheap used records. 3 for a dollar bins! I bought Eyehategod In the Name of Suffering here. Also the Cruising soundtrack...33cents!

Red - Fancy, expensive hotel. Yell really loud underneath the windows. They like that. Cops always parked along this stretch. Drunk gays got their first DUIs around here.

Mint- block of amnesia. I don't think it existed

Red - Boxes. Gay bar where you did lines of coke/mda/meth in the bathroom without hassle. TV sets with Oprah or Steel Magnolias, shit like that on. Spartacus Leather fetish store was down a couple doors. Inside Boxes, you could take a wood paneled passage through the fish restaurant kitchen ( I don't think anyone ever ate there) and end up at.....

Green - the Brig. Named because dance floor had bars around it like a jail cell. Imagine the creative dance moves as the queens grappled bars, ass out while Madonna songs played on a loop. Your meth dealer could be found here, doing a fan dance. Don't wear black. Semen stains show up under the blacklights. (or do)

Yellow - the house paint store. Eventually became the Panorama in the age of MDMA. Rave type music. Went there once to meet a dealer. Obnoxious experience.

White - Silverado. Country Western night most nights. My roommate dj'd andtaught line dancing but dance floor was like 10 sq ft so it was just the gays holding hands and boot scootin' in a little circle for eternity. Bar I could get into underage.

Orange - Ben Stark Hotel. Like outta Barton Fink. But really,really seedy. Had some weird sex in there. Now a boutique hotel owned by some Donald Trump guy Gordon Someone who did something once. Probably haunted.

Brown - Scandals. Beer /wine bar. Big windows so you can people-watch and talk shit. Used to go in there underage until I got thrown out snorting a rail of MDA off the tabletop. Had electronic darts and video poker in the 90s. Me and Robert had a domestic dispute there.

Red - row of funky vintage/antique shops. Someone used to broadcast a pirate radio station somewhere around there in the 90s

Blue - Portland Underground. Small venue had some big shows early 90s. Top floor is where I swear I saw Econochrist play. But it's an office building. Maybe confused

Yellow. OBryant Square aka Paranoid Park. Skateboarders and street drugs. I got "chased" by AF Nazis here. Probably more like I ran my fat ass up the street after this girl I knew screamed "run!" And they probably just laughed. I didn't look back. I think it's demolished now.

White arrow- up the block toward the Galleria. Second floor toilet was really cruisy. Careful of cockblocking rent-a-cops. Kiosk by cafe I think was only place downtown to buy pipe to smoke pot

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Metal type; Eddie Munson x reader

*Author's note*

Well this came at a funny moment, plus after seeing some posts of how Eddie Munson and Patrick Verona from 10 things I hate about you are similar, I figured why not do this fic with a fun little twist at the ending. Unlike my Halloween fic there's not much warnings here but I'll still list them as followed:

Warnings: parental death, grief, drugs (not hardcore just cigarettes and joints mentioned), some angst but ends with fluff at the end.

Enjoy the fic my darlings :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

_________________________________________________________

There’s been a lot of rumors going around lately.  Now me I typically stay out of that gossiping chain because it’s just a bunch of hens clucking up the coop where they don’t need to be sticking their beaks into.  But when the rumor’s involve (Y/n), that starts perking up my ears like a deer.

Now lately my girl’s (well at least in my head she’s my girl, I haven’t gotten the balls to ask her out yet but I have my reasons! Like this for example) been going through a rough patch.  Her mom just passed away from breast cancer and it’s been hard on her not only having to go through the whole funeral process and trying to figure out how to keep the house, and trying to deal with all of that whilst still going to school and trying to finish off senior year.

She shouldn’t need all this stress.  She deserves to have fun her last year of school, not be dealing with house mortgage, trying to sell her mom’s stuff or put it in storage, keep paying off the funeral and hospital bills, Jesus Christ she shouldn’t deal with this.  Now I have tried to at least help her but she’s been pushing me away telling me and the guys that she’s fine and that she doesn’t want to burden us with all this family drama.

Now I may have been young when I lost my mom, but I remember the stress that Wayne felt having to go through mom’s stuff since my old man sure as hell wasn’t going to do any of it.  But that’s not even the worst part of the rumors.

Hawkins is a small town where everyone knows everyone blah blah blah blah, but there is a new face that’s been around Hawkins since the start of the new year.  Some guy from Seattle named Patrick Verona.  Now if I’m honest, he seems like a descent guy.  Good taste in music, pretty metal looking, not into sports or anything like most guys are.  But he’s been hanging around (Y/n) far too much and he doesn’t even go to our school and yet people are saying they’re dating.

Again I’ve tried not to believe the rumors but I have seen how Patrick seems to be there whenever (Y/n) is too depressed to be around anyone else.  Always having an arm around her, allowing her a shoulder to cry on, and even kissing her tears away.  I can do all of that, hell we’ve been friends since middle school! Why can’t she allow me to do any of that stuff for her!? I want to be there for her so why isn’t she letting me help her out!?

It was lunchtime and once again (Y/n) hadn’t shown up for lunch.  I silently munched on my pretzels.

“(Y/n) not joining us again?” I heard Henderson say.

“Nope.” Said Jeff.

“I think I heard she went off with that Patrick guy again. Saw his bike coming up during third block just before the lunch bell rang.” Said Gareth.

“And my best guess is she’s gonna miss Hellfire again.” Whined Wheeler.

“Back off Wheeler!” I snapped throwing a pretzel at his head.  “She has a very good excuse to miss so many meetings. Grief isn’t something that can just be put on hold like a stupid laundry basket game or a dentist appointment.”

“Ow! Jesus…..” Wheeler whined.

“He didn’t mean it Eddie.” Henderson tried to lighten up Wheeler’s insensitive comment.

“Really cause I think he was making a statement on how I should run my club. Am I wrong Wheeler?” I sneered lowly.

“No Eddie I swear I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.” Even for his weak-ass apology, I dropped it and went back to my snacked lunch.

“To be fair though Eddie, normally this many missed Hellfire meetings results in automatic banishment from the club. You sure you ain’t just going easy on her because you love her?” Gareth said bluntly.  I smacked him upside the head.

“Continue to say stupid shit like that and I’ll think about the banishment for another member of this group.” I threatened which got him to shut up and look back down at his tray.  When I looked up I soon spotted (Y/n) heading for the back doors.

Quickly I grabbed my lunchbox and chased after her.  I at least wanted to check up on her and see how she’s been doing since last I saw her a week or so ago.

“(N/n) wait! Wait!” I charged out the main doors of the school and she turned to face me.

“Oh Eddie, it’s you.”

“Yeah, sorry bout that didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You didn’t.” she looked extremely exhausted.  Bags upon bags were under her eyes and the poor thing looked exhausted.  The usual bubbly girl that I loved was nothing more than a shell of her former self.  Hell this girl would even sleep in class, the one thing she’s never done for as long as I’ve known her.

“So—so listen I uhh—I know it’s been hard lately for you. But I-uhh…I was wondering if you’d like to uhh…..have a movie night after Hellfire at my place? I’ll let you pick out any of your favorites, even if it’s that cheesy rom-com shit that I don’t like.”

“Eddie, that’s sweet of you but I—”

“Hey girlie, everything alright here?” that Australian accent (which I think is fake) came up and soon Patrick came up wrapping an arm around (Y/n)’s shoulders and in his other hand a bag of McDonalds, all the while holding a toothpick between his teeth.

“Everything’s fine Patrick.” My jaw ticked as (Y/n) introduced us, “I don’t think you both have been properly introduced. Eddie this is Patrick, Pat this is Eddie Munson.”

“Ohh Eddie? The Eddie Munson? Well nice to meet you mate.” Being the gentleman, we both shook hands and I said trying not to sound condescending.

“You too man. Nice ride.”

“What that old thing? A hand me down by my dad. Trying to save up for a real sweet ride. May even take this little lady for a joy ride. God knows she needs it.” He lightly jostled her which made her smile what almost resembled her real, sunshine smile (the smile that I always got out of her, the smile that rivals all the stars in the sky, the smile that I wish I could make her do again, but they all seem to be reserved for Patrick Verona now).

“So uhh about……” I started back up the conversation between (Y/n) and I but she said.

“Eddie I’m sorry but Patrick and I have some plans tonight. Maybe some other time?”

“Yeah, yeah sure no uhh—no problem. Just figure I’d offer.” I said nonchalantly as I stuffed my hands in my pockets and kicked a couple of pebbles at my feet.

“And Eddie, about Hellfire I……”

“No need. Your temporary leave is still accepted. Just come to me whenever you’re ready to return.”

“Thanks for understanding Eddie.”

“C’mon sugar glider, better get going before someone sees us.” Patrick said as he took them over to his bike.

“See yah around Eddie.” She said to me.

“Yeah, yeah see yah.” She got behind Patrick and wrapped her arms around him as he placed a second helmet on her head before revving his bike and pulled on out of the parking lot driving off down the road. “That manipulative son of a bitch.” I walked back inside and prepared for the remaining day of hell.

The day came and went and I found myself over at Family video just to browse but also to return some of the movies that needed to be returned (they may also have been late I honestly can’t remember).

“And he just waltz up and has her pinned up to his side like an ornament.” I ranted.  “And seriously I cannot take that accent seriously, don’t you think it’s fake?”

“Eddie, you’ve gotta stop obsessing over this Patrick guy, it’s not healthy.” Robin told me. 

“I can’t Robin! The guy’s completely taking advantage of her! I can’t just sit idly by anymore as some metal-head biker punk comes into town, and swoops down at her like a hawk.”

“You know it is kinda scary how he almost resembles you. Same wild hair, same eyes, you sure you don’t gotta brother or something?” Steve asked as he was stacking some videos.

“Not helping here Harrington.” I grumbled.

“Eddie, how do you know this is like a romantic thing? I mean, take me and Steve. We hang out all the time and we’re not together.”

“Oh absolutely not. Yet I’ll always have Robin’s back if she needs it.”

“Strictly platonic. With a capital PLAH. Have you seen them kiss on the lips?”

“No. But that doesn’t mean they probably don’t do it behind closed doors. Plus couples don’t always make lip to lip contact in public.”

“You can kiss platonically too. I see the cheerleaders doing it all the time, course it’s that fake Barbie air-cheek kiss but still they do it. You’re letting your imagination run wild, again.”

“Plus man if you had told her how you felt in the first place, maybe this wouldn’t be happening.” Steve added.

“I told you man, I was going to tell her but then she got the call from the hospital about her mom’s diagnosis. It—didn’t feel right to tell her. She needed her best friend, not a confession to think over while her mom’s dealing with sudden stage 4 breast cancer.”

“I agree with him on that Steve.” Robin said.

“Okay, okay but still you just…..gotta relax, okay? Look maybe he’ll move on after a while and forget about (Y/n).”

“It’s impossible to forget about her, that girl can make anyone fall in love with her.” I grumbled.  The bell rang and speak of the devil himself, Patrick came strolling in and he said.

“I’m told this is where you can get some good films.”

“Yeah, yeah what can we help you with?” Steve spoke up.

“Something upbeat and funny. Sugar glider needs it for tonight.” Sugar glider? Wait that’s what he had called (Y/n) yesterday, she isn’t…..after rejecting our daily movie night she goes off and has a movie night with this asshole? I swear if he weren’t so relatable, I’d beat his ass right now.

“Okay well comedies are just over there man.”

“Thanks mate, say you two wouldn’t happen to be Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley would you?”

“We are, how do you know our names?” Robin said.

“(Y/n) has told me a lot about you two. Especially how you two have been helping her out with sorting through her mum’s belongings. My thanks to you both.” So she goes off and tells this guy about all of us but she doesn’t say a word about you?

“Yeah, yeah it was no problem. She’s helped us out so it was only fitting we’d help her out.” Robin said as she was stacking some tapes along the shelf.  As Patrick picked out some of (Y/n)’s favorite comedies like Beverly Hills Cop, Ferris Buller’s Day off, Back to the Future, and the Princess Bride. As Robin rang them up for him, he turned to me and asked, “Now (Y/n) told me you’re the one to go to with some good deals on weed. You got anything in stock?”

Weed? Doesn’t he know that (Y/n) hates the smell of weed? Hell the girl’s allergic to cigarette smoke! Which is why I always make it appoint to never, ever under any circumstances wear the same clothes I smoke in around her let alone smoke around her.  Hell I’ll have the trailer burning multiple scented candles just to rid of the smell, yeah it gives me and Wayne headaches but it’s worth it so that she’s comfortable.

“What’s the occasion?” I demanded.

“Nothing special, just need a refill. Ran out of my own stuff and of course (Y/n) don’t have anything.” Jesus this guy is really gonna smoke around her?

“Regretfully I’m out of stock at the moment.”

“Damn, oh well. Gas station always has some smokes.” Jesus this guy is a grade A asshole.  And not in the popular jock standard, I mean just straight up insensitive asshole.  “Later.” He then walked out after paying for the videos.

“You see what I mean?!” I snapped lowly.

“The guy’s just asking for some smokes Eddie. You do it all the time.” Said Steve.

“Yeah but not around (Y/n)! Jesus I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you guys.” I rubbed my face into my hands in annoyance.

“Eddie, why don’t you just go home? Relax, have a drink, and just get your mind off of Patrick and (Y/n). I’m telling you you’re getting too involved in this and your imagination is running away with you.” Suggested Robin.  I stuffed my hand into the twizzlers jar taking a handful of them, bit into one and stormed out of the store.

As I lay across my bed twirling a twizzler in my hand I couldn’t help but think about (Y/n) and Patrick.  The more I thought about them together, the more my blood boiled and my other hand kept fidgeting with my rings.

“Screw it!” I sneered lowly before getting up, grabbing my keys and racing off toward her house.  I parked a bit off from her house and slowly walked up towards her hedges and hid behind them.  I slowly peeked over her window and saw (Y/n) sitting on the couch talking on the phone with someone while her TV was paused on Beverly Hills Cop.

Patrick soon came in with two beers and plopped down right next to her.  He set the beers down and had an arm wrapped around her and he looked at her concerningly.  His ringed hand stroking the top of her shoulder.  She then hung the phone up and I saw her lower her face into her hands in defeat.  Patrick stroked his hand through her hair and the two of them briefly exchanged words.

I then watched as (Y/n) got up from the couch but Patrick suddenly grabbed her by her waist and pulled her over his lap and he gave her a peck to her forehead.  She gave him a gently slap to the chest before he allowed her to get up off his lap.  But again, just as she walked two steps, he sat up, grabbed her by the waist again and pulled her back across his lap and pecked her twice this time on both her cheeks.  She shoved at his face playfully and told him something that I couldn’t understand but he allowed her to get up a third time.

As she got up, he then grabbed her and they playfully went down to the ground as he wrestled on top of her tickling her, I could hear the faint sounds of her laughter coming out from the window.

So it is true, she really did find someone better than me.  Well if that’s her decision then—I can’t stop her.  But this guy should at least have the decency in knowing of what she likes.  I walked over to the door and knocked on it rapidly.  I heard the laughter stop and footsteps coming to the door and opening it was (Y/n)m her hair a bit disheveled from their wrestling I had just seen.

“Eddie, what are you—”

“I need to talk to Patrick.”

“Uhh okay.” I didn’t wait for her to open the door as I just stormed in.  When I saw him getting up from the floor, he looked up at me and said.

“Well this is a surprise. Did you end up finding some smokes left over?” that smug-eating grin came across his face.

“Even if I did have any smokes or left over joints, I would tell you one thing. Don’t you ever smoke it around (Y/n), okay? She can’t stand the smell of it, not to mention she’s allergic to cigarette smoke. And that’s no joke, okay? Her breathing becomes so tight she can barely breathe, it’s like she’s going into anaphylactic shock if she even smells a whiff of it. So if you’re gonna date her, don’t you ever do that in front of her.”

“What?” he said confused with a head tilt.

“No, no you pay attention because you don’t know just how lucky you are man!” I snapped.  I jostled his shoulders and emphasized each point I made with a firm poke to his chest.  “You better treat this lady like a Queen, okay? Because if I had someone like (Y/n) (L/n) I would bring her her favorite flowers every chance I got. And they aren’t roses because she says roses are too cliché, you understand? Her favorite flowers are blue orchids, you got that blue orchids. Because they bring out her bright, beautiful eyes. And when she’s sick, she gets chicken ramen just like how her mom used to make for her with a side of saltine crackers. I would be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. And I would spend every second of every day trying to get her to smile because she—she has the most beautiful smile that I’ve missed so much. And that I would do anything to see that smile again.”

I turned to look at (Y/n) who was staring at me with this wide-eyed look of awe.  Even though my heart was aching at the fact I had now spilled my feelings for her even though she’d never be mine, I—I had to at least let her know that I’ll always be there for her.

“But she chose you. So……you better do just that. And much more to make her happy, especially now. Because that’s what I would do.” I released Patrick’s shoulders and went to walk out the door but (Y/n) quickly got to the door before me and shut it, staring up at me with soft but sad eyes.

We both stared at each other until she slowly walked towards me.  I looked down shamefully but I soon felt her take my face in between her hands and her lips soon met mine.  Her arms slid around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist bringing her closer to me as I kissed her back.

“See what’d I tell yah? He’s your penguin.” Patrick’s voice said.  We separated and saw he was leaning up against the wall, toothpick in mouth with a wide grin.

“What?”

“Eddie, I’d like for you to formally meet Patrick Verona. My cousin.” She told me.  I looked to Patrick in shock who grinned at us again and gave me a two-finger salute.

“Your—your cousin……”

“Well when we call each other cousins its more loosely. I treat my little sugar glider like she’s my little sister.” Patrick told me. 

“He’s been a real familial support system that I haven’t been getting with the rest of the family ever since mom got sick. After the funeral he just—showed up and he’s been staying here ever since helping me out with all this stuff.”

“Aunt (M/n) was the glue that kept the family together and ever since her death, the family’s been divided and (Y/n) has been stuck in the middle while still trying to finish school. I couldn’t let her go through all that drama and stress alone. One of us has to at least be successful, right sis?” He gave her a wink which made (Y/n) shake her head.

“They were right, I’m a complete dumbass.” I muttered.

“Look mate, any man whose willing to allow me to take this girl as my own, is a real man in my books. Even though if we did hook up we’d have some ugly-ass kids.” The three of us softly laughed.  Patrick came up to me and placed a strong hand to my shoulder softly jostling it around, “You know, I haven’t heard my little sugar glider talk about a boy the way she talks about you Eddie Munson. Now I see that you are truly something special to my little cousin.” I turned over to (Y/n) and said.

“More than anything in this whole world.” (Y/n) softly smiled as she placed her hand over her heart.

“Then you have my permission to date her, but just know this. If you ever break her heart or mistreat her,” the sound of a switchblade came out and I froze as the gleam of the blade came below my chin.

“Patrick!” (Y/n) exclaimed. As quick as he had brought it out, he sheathed it back and put it back into his pocket.

“Just for a word of warning.” He gave me a hard pat on the back and walked out ruffling (Y/n) hair before saying.  “Be back in a few hours, don’t have too much fun you two lovebirds.” Patrick then left the house leaving the two of us alone.

“I am so sorry about that, I swear that man acts like the fucking Joker sometimes.”

“He’s more metal than I ever could be.” (Y/n) came up and wrapped her arms around me.

“I think you are just the right amount of metal for me Eddie.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.” We both smiled and kissed each other again when a bang at the window spooked us apart and there stood Patrick giving us a warning glare (well mainly at me).  (Y/n) flipped him off and tossed a pillow at the window.  He stuck his tongue mockingly before disappearing from the window.

So the rest of the night was spent cuddling up on the couch watching her favorite movies until we both ended up falling asleep together.  By morning I noticed a blanket had been put around us both and I knew I wasn’t the one to have done it and neither had (Y/n).  There I saw a note on the table and it read:

Take care of my little sugar glider. And if you’re ever interested in some embarrassing stories she hasn’t told you from when we were kids, meet me for some smokes later this evening at the Hideout.

Patrick

I smiled and looked down at my best girl and kissed the top of her head.  At least we both had something in common besides physical appearances and our outlook on the world, we both care deeply for this girl that’s in my arms and want nothing but the best for her as she tries to move on from her grief.

[synthized]

since   i   can   remember,   i   have   always   associated   myself   as   being   a   boy.   there   were   plenty   of   moments   in   my   youth,   eight   or   nine   years   old   before   i   met   scratch,   where   i   would   role-play   as   the   son   of   the   man   that   i   would   later   project   onto   being   my   fictional   father.   to   replace   the   one   that   i   didn't   have   in   reality.   i   wished   i   could   have   stubble   on   my   beard   like   all   my   classic   action   heroes,   big   muscles,   deep   gravel   to   my   voice   ached   by   too   many   cigarettes,   the   way   men   hold   onto   a   woman   as   if   they   are   porcelain   to   be   treasured.   to   be   protected. to fantasize about being in gay relationships with male celebrities.   maybe   it   is   because   i   never   grew   up   with   a   father   around.   maybe   this   is   all   a   product   of   mental   illness.   but   i   know   i   have   always   felt   pushed   away   from   anything   ''feminine''   -   traditionally   so,   &   connected   beyond   words   to   those   of   masculine   definition.   even   in   my   later   years,   i   chose   jesse,   for   a   reason   over   the   dead   name   that   my   mother   still   calls   me.   the   masculine   version,   (   yet   the   starbucks   order   will   still   stain   jessie   on   the   side   of   the   coffee   cup, or the worst of them all, jess   -   ) ; i also had major dick envy & breast self-hatred - even when i had no idea what trans truly meant, i know now that it is something i have always carried with me. a   locket   around   my   neck,   where   the   key   has   been   lost   to   social   norms.   or   a   noose.

in   1999,   i   began   to   watch   wrestling   -   although   this   wasn't   religiously   until   ten   years   later   due   to   not   being   able   to   see   it   on   our   regular   TV   channels.   i   was   fascinated.   boys   on   boys   action   ??   that's   what   dreams   are   made   of   !!   not   even   really   considering   that   wrestling   could   have   been   a   career   for   me   if   i   had   pursued   it   younger,   only   being   able   to   roleplay   it   physically   with   scratch   by   my   side.   rough   housing,   throwing   each   other   around,   fights   where   we   can   feel   every   bruise,   every   mark,   every   hit   on   the   canvas   of   my   bedroom   carpet.   it   was   something.   to   imagine   being   in   the   ring   with   the   big   stars.   jericho   as   my   mentor.   it   was   silly,   it   was   stupid,   it   was   sadness   lost   to   real   life   circumstances   that   it   never   even   entered   my   head   to   do   anything   about   it.   to   be   a   man.   to   be   a   fucking   man.   why   was   i   never   given   this   clarity   as   an   option   ??   sexuality   was   barely   even   talked   about   in   my   house,   even   though   i   ''knew''   i   was   bisexual   extremely   young   ;   let   alone   anything   to   do   with   gender. but   i   never   enjoyed   the   dresses,   or   the   fancy   shoes   or   the   girly   pop   aesthetic   of   my   childhood.   no,   i   was   the   toyboy   surrounded   by   pokemon   plushies   &   mortal   kombat   on   the   playstation,   blazing   nine   inch   nails   from   my   bulky-ass   stereo.

in   2013,   when   i   started   bringing   my   original   characters  ( which have, for the most part, always been male -- )  to   a   writing   forum,   dimitri   vladimov,   i   realized   that   my   full-time   original   creation   was   just   a   reflection   of   myself.   the   masculine   version.   wearing   glasses,   curls   in   his   eyes,   chunky   sweaters,   obsessed   with   space   &   cats   &   being   a   great   parent   to   a   lil'   one,   while   living   in   domesticated   bliss   with   his   earthly   husband.   this   is   when   my   gender   dysphoria   really   started   ramping   up.   i   would   look   at   pictures   of   my   dimitri   FC   (   above   )   &   wishing   i   could   look   exactly   like   him.   because   he   was   a   reflection   of   me   in   written   word.   i   had   designed   him,   his   clothes,   his   appearance,   his   everything   in   the   unknowing   that   this   was   just   the   dream   that   i   wanted   for   my   own   self.   i   told   my   mother   that   i   was   feeling   this   way   &   we   went   to   the   doctor,   who   sat   there   expressionless,   no   notes   taken   on   her   little   pad.   just   staring   at   me   as   if   i   had   just   told   her   i   was   a   serial   killer   from   the   planet   zod.

but you are in your twenties now, you have never spoken about this before.

yes, because i didn't realize what i was feeling until now. i couldn't put it into words.

well, there is nothing we can do for you. those who have gender dysphoria feel it from child-hood. there is nothing we can do. there is nothing we can do. nothing at all.

bare   in   mind,   i'm   sitting   in   the   doctor's   office,   tears   streaming   down   my   face   hoping   to   be   heard.   all   i   got   was   a   ten   minute   appointment,   and   the   door   shut   in   my   face.

since   then,   i   buried   it.   i   buried   it   so   deep   that   i   never   mentioned   it   to   my   mother   again.   she   would   bring   it   up   in   conversation,   with   lots   of   laughs:   remember   that   time,   you   wanted   to   be   a   boy   ??   remember   that   phase   you   were   in   ??   yeah   mum,   i   remember,   just   a   phase   [   .   .   .   ]   &   she   would   laugh,   laugh,   laugh   &   i   would   play   along,   not   telling   anyone   except   rebirth   how   much   it   killed   me   inside.   still   kills   me   to   this   day.

with   the   wrestling,   the   role-playing   never   stopped.   not   even   in   my   adult   years.   it's   a   comfort   that   i   have   never   escaped   from. ever   since   the   a-dam   page   &   j-on   moxley   feud,   scratch   has   referred   to   us   as   them   in   terms   of   the   way   we   are   as   a   couple.   feral,   possessive,   beyond   words   in   terms   of   psycho-sexual   energy   &   a   connection   that   cannot   be   severed.   we   shed   blood   because   that   is   our   soul   to   share.   we   leave   marks   because   that   is   our   body   to   own.   but   in   the   last   year,   looking   at   adam   actually   is   starting   to   kill   me.   the   want   to   look   like   him   in   the   mirror.   the   need   to   be   in   that   squared   circle,   as   a   man,   as   a   fucking   man.   with   the   career   i   want,   death   matches   &   a   family   waiting   for   me   at   home   [   .   .   .   ]   instead,   i   sit   here,   a   broken   shell   of   what   i   should   have   been.   the   last   rodeo   is   a   stepping   stone   into   healing   that   grief.   jesse:   the   transmac   cowboy   who   becomes   a   star   in   the   wrestling   circuit   [   .   .   .   ]   with   a   few   added   fictional   extras   like   cybernetic   cosmic   horror   along   the   way   !!   but   i   know   i   will   never   get   the   money   for   surgery.   i   will   always   have   a   big   chest   &   a   reproduction   system.   i   will   always   be   labelled   as   'miss'   when   i   get   the   parcel   from   the   delivery   driver.   my   mother   will   always   see   me   as   her   daughter.

i   want   to   be   proud   of   who   i   am   in   the   mirror.   i   want   to   be   put   on   testosterone.   i   want   to   grow   stubble.   i   want   hair   over   my   chest   and   my   belly.   i   want   someone   to   wrap   me   in   their   arms,   and   call   me   their   good   boy.   i   want   to   call   someone   my   husband,   my   wife   &   be   their   husband   in   return. i want to be a wrestler ; i want to shed my blood on the canvas. i want to go absolutely fucking feral. I WANT TO BE PROUDLY TRANS, TO THE WORLD.   i   want   so   fucking   much   [   .   .   .   ]   but   i   know   i   will   never   get   it   in   this   life-time.

i   will   always   be   a   she.   i   will   always   be   a   woman.   i   will   always   be   something   that   is   going   to   hurt   me   &   haunt   me   &   hinder   me   for   the   rest   of   my   fucking   life.

but i'm good at burying things. my real emotions. even though when they bury me, it will say a very good daughter, a very good wife right on the headstone.

PS : yanno,   i   find   it   funny   that   i   just   remembered   being   in   high-school,   and   for   our   media   production   where   we   had   to   recreate   a   music   video   in   a   group   of   four   ;   i   was   forced   into   the   lead   singer   role   (   placebo   -   nancy   boy   was   the   song   chosen   )   where   the   lead   is   a   guy.   my   boyfriend   at   the   time   was   also   in   this   group.   i   guess   even   my   friends   in   high   school   knew   that   was   who   i   was   before   i   did.