#games they’re playing and they come to me and want to chat and joke with me

[koushuwu]

it’s funny how— going away for scouts things, it’s so exhausting, but it’s one of the few places where i feel truly at home somehow.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ Ｓｗｅｅｔｅｓｔ Ｐｉｅ ♡

♡ Pairing: sex worker!mingyu x chubby!fem!sex worker!reader

♡ Genre: smut/fluff

♡ Word Count: 3.2k-ish

♡ Summary: While spending the weekend at a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, a risky late night comment of yours draws the attention of your crush who happens to be in the same city and wants to see if you're all talk or about that action.

♡ Warnings: you're both spicy content creators, drinking, unprotected sex, Gyu's dick is kinda really huge, size kink for sure, stretching, riding, rough sex, doggystyle, clit play, ass slapping, oral sex (m receiving), cum eating/swallowing, dirty talk, switch Gyu/reader

♡ A/N: I usually put a sweet artistic statement in this space but I don't have a sweet artistic statement. I have a hot girl playlist and Mingyu's existence which is exactly how we ended up here. It's Mingyu, for the love of goddess, can you blame me?

This was never where you thought you’d end up. When you joked with your best friend, a successful OnlyFans girl, about starting one if your job kept working your nerves you hadn’t imagined actually doing it. Yet here you are, 8 months after that tipsy girl’s night, with a hefty following on social media and enough subscribers to never have to set foot in that job ever again. 

Like any other job it has its ups and downs but having your best friend there to help you navigate it early on makes it feel like lightwork now. Plus it’s so easy to ignore your haters when your bank account’s as stacked as it is.

For the first time in your life it’s optional to check pricetags, you can literally have whatever you want. Some things you don’t even have to pay for, they’re just dropped in your lap simply because you are who you are. 

That’s precisely how you scored yourself a weekend at this million dollar home in the Hollywood Hills. You’d passively mentioned during a custom video for one of your fans how hot you found it that he owned so much property.

“I’ve never played with my pussy in a mansion before” you pouted cutely, a vibrator whirling away inside you on its lowest setting. It wasn’t hint dropping as much as you wanted to stroke his ego but he took it as a chance to impress you, offering you a getaway at one of his places while he went on vacation for business. 

You’d be doing him a favor, he insisted, because he hated to leave the place empty for so long. The ego boost was more than enough compensation on his part that he didn’t feel like you owed him anything. Good because as a rule you do not fuck customers. You don’t even do content with other people in your industry. Everything’s solo. Always.

“Show us the top but off” you giggle, reading through the comments on your Instagram live. You do a quick spin, showing off your barely there bikini top. “There it is but it’s not coming off. You guys are gonna get me banned.” 

You only arrived a few hours ago and, exhausted from travel, decided that you’d rather spend the night in the jacuzzi out back than venture out to some crowded bar. This weekend is about relaxation after all and what’s more relaxing than sipping champagne in this warm bubbling water under the starry night sky?

It began to feel a little lonely though, you’re so used to having your best friend with you on these trips, so you decided to prop your phone up on the edge of the hottub and go live for a little bit. 

Reading through the comments, you get caught up in conversation about a million random topics. There’s suggestions for the best restaurants in LA, debates over if aliens are real or not, and even a quick KPop Smash or Pass game before someone brings you to a topic that has your heart thumping harder than an EDM festival.

Your rule on sleeping with other creators is a hard “No”, this everyone already knows, but when it comes to one man in particular that rule’s nonexistent. 

100_karat_xo Gyu saw your retweet 👀 youngxkwonskitty He’s coming over here aaaaaah!!!

You nearly choke on your next sip of champagne, watching the chat go wild as the memory of a recent drunken retweet hits you like a wrecking ball.

Your introduction to who Kim Mingyu was had been innocent enough. You were scrolling your feed one night and saw a video of a bunch of guys dancing. They were just fucking around really but they were genuinely talented and hot as hell so you had to do a little independent research to figure out who they were. 

Mingyu was the one who caught your eye the most with his beautifully tanned skin and a face so gorgeous it hurts to look at. It only worsened the situation when you stumbled upon his spicy account and found out he had the deadly combo of a body Greek gods would envy and a cock that’d have you walking funny for days. Who needs to walk straight anyway? You followed him on everything immediately, nearly died when he followed you back, and it’s been non stop flirting since. 

The two of you even ran into each other at a few parties where things would almost get hot and heavy but never ventured beyond a cute little makeout session. It’s painfully obvious both of you want something more though.

The most recent evidence came when Mingyu posted a video of himself seated in a chair facing a mirror wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. No shirt, nothing under the pants, just that muscular sunkissed chest and a mouthwatering dick print. 

You were weak in the knees from the sight of that alone but when his hand started moving in his lap, his palm smoothing over the long, thick print, you went feral. Mingyu’s caption asked, “Who does this belong to?” and the shots of Soju in your system that night had you responding, “Me!” before you could think better of it. That was a week ago and you must’ve pushed it to the back of your mind because you haven’t thought about it since. But Mingyu has. 

“Coming over here? What do you mean?” you ask, slinking down into the water as if it’ll somehow make you invisible. You get your answer immediately when a familiar name appears in the chat. 

dongangu.daddy Hey beautiful

“Mingyu! Stop! What are you doing here?” you squeal, a hand thrown over your mouth to hide the uncontrollable smile his arrival brings to your face. As if there’s a way to conceal how giddy you are over this man. Two words from him and your whole aura changes. You were glowing before but now you’re radioactive.

jeonghanssimp95 my worlds collide omfg _horanghaeheaux_ Can you both marry me?

dongangu.daddy has requested to join

Your eyes widen at Mingyu’s request, not expecting to be put on the spot like this. It’s not that you don’t want to see him. You’d look at that face every day if you could—beside you, on top of you, under you—but you’re mortified of swooning over him in front of this many people. 

Finally deciding that your retweet did all it could do to expose you for being down bad for Mingyu, you dry your hands on a nearby towel and accept his request. Another screen pops up below yours. There’s some darkness at first, a few seconds of shuffling, and then Mingyu’s displayed in all of his bare chested glory. 

“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he teases, shifting to a more comfortable position in bed. Of course he had to be shirtless. Of course he had to be in bed. Fuck your sanity. 

Your brain has to shake off a five second delay before you can answer. “You just got on and already you’re picking on me. I’m about to revoke your privileges, sir.”

Mingyu laughs off your comment, confident that you’re bluffing. You are. “No, don’t do that. I’m sorry” he pouts, raking his fingers through his short dark hair, “I just expected you to be happier to see me.”

“I am happy to see you but you can’t come on my live talking your shit.”

“I thought you liked it when I talk my shit” he smiles, recalling all of the X rated texts you’ve exchanged over the past few months. 

You shrug, mindlessly twirling your hair, “Talking is cute buuut actions are better.” 

The true meaning of “action” is clear for you both. Mingyu’s wanted action with you from day one, spam liking your posts the moment he saw that you followed him. You had the prettiest face, the sweetest smile, and your body was so soft and plush he couldn’t stop fantasizing about getting his hands on you. You were even more irresistible in person and that knowledge has had him on a mission to make you his ever since. A mission he’s not willing to give up on easily.

“Action? I can do that. I heard you’re in LA” he says, the white sheet around him falling away as he sits up in bed, “I am too. If you aren’t busy, maybe we could see each other tonight.”

“Oh, y-you wanna see me? And do what?” you stutter, going in for another nervous sip only to find that the glass is empty. You were not prepared to be this thirsty for a drink or for him. 

Mingyu tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes flicking down to take in what he can of your figure peeking out from the water. His heart begins to race, his cock stiffening at the way your lush breasts bob above the surface, droplets of water decorating your cleavage like diamonds. 

“You tell me, babe. What do you wanna do?” 

His question soaks your bikini bottoms with a new type of moisture, your pulse already racing. What do you wanna do? With Kim Mingyu? What don’t you wanna do? 

“Gyu, aaah, fuck. It’s so…so…mmm” you whine, sinking lower onto Mingyu’s cock.

Your fingers trace his abs, your pink and blue ombre acrylics nicking his skin as your pussy relaxes to take the next inch of his cock. You’d seen it in pictures, even felt his bulge once or twice in person, but having him inside of you? Nothing could’ve prepared you for this stretch or for how full you’d feel after only a few inches. There’s still a couple more to go and you’re already shaking like you’re ready to cum. 

“Keep going, baby. You’re taking it so well” he praises, hands cradling your hips to help you take him at your own pace.

He isn’t in a rush to fuck you. That was never an intention of his. Mingyu’s more than pleased to lay here with you in bed, your fluffy thighs snug around his waist, and enjoy the view from below. And what a view it is. The faces you make are too cute for words. They make him want to hold you close and protect you from the rest of the world. At the same time, they’re the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. And, coupled with those little whines of yours, they give him the ravenous urge to fuck your brains out. Every last cell. 

“Don’t wanna wait anymore” you moan, leaning back with your arms behind you, palms resting on his legs. “I need it all.” 

He smooths his hands down your thighs and back up again, “Anything for you.” 

One thrust of his hips and you’re seeing stars. Mouth wide open. Eyes watering. It’s the fullest you’ve ever felt and you can only piece together a string of broken moans as your body adjusts to the new sensation. 

Mingyu smiles up at you, beaming with pride at what he’s done to you. “Too much for you?” he teases, his thumb stroking a solitary tear away from your cheek. 

You shake your head, never the kind of girl to reject a challenge. Breathing in deep, you steady yourself, raising your hips and slowly lowering them back down in a motion that has his eyes rolling to the back of his head. 

“Oh god, fuck” he groans not just at how perfectly your walls hug him and not just at you being wet enough to make that hottub outside look like the desert. Every move you make hits the perfect spot, your body titled at the exact angle required to make him feel like you’re stealing his soul straight from his body.

Keeping your pace, you lean forward and lick your way up his abs, sprinkling kisses across his chest. Mingyu can pretend that it doesn’t tickle in a way he likes much more than he thought he would but his body’s a dead giveaway. His muscles contract beneath your kisses, his length pulsing against your walls. You can almost hear his heart pounding through his chest. 

“Too much for you?” you taunt, smiling up at him, your walls purposefully clenching even tighter around his cock. 

Mingyu bites his lip, staring down at you like a meal he’s prepared to devour. The fire in his eyes makes your heart jump. Teasing him back has consequences and you can tell you’re about to suffer them. 

“Nah, I want more” he growls and two strong arms close around your body, one at your back and the other at your waist. Keeping you flush against his chest, he spreads his legs and buries himself even deeper into your needy core. If you thought you were seeing stars before, there's galaxies now. 

Mingyu holds you like he loves you, cradling you gently while he fucks you like he hates you, and with your arms pinned to your sides all you can do is take it. Waves of heat wash over your figure, the tingling of your nipples brushing his chest sending sparks through your system. There’s no talking back now, only fragments of his name rolling from your tongue. 

“M-min…” you whine, crumbling as the thick head of his cock bumps your sweet spot. You can feel his warm precum leaking into you, mixing with your arousal to make every movement all the smoother. 

“M-min” he coos, reaching a hand up to brush away the hair sticking to your pretty face, “Having a hard time talking back, sweetheart?”

Your eyes are hypnotizing on a regular day but he must admit that there’s something special about seeing them so dazed and glossed over all for him. He grabs the back of your neck with just the right amount of pressure, lifting you away from him enough that he shifts angles inside of you. It’s such a small change in position but it’s more than enough to have you squirming, mindlessly rocking your hips against his. 

“I didn’t know I had such a greedy girl on my hands” he says, tracing your jaw with feathery kisses. In a split second the room’s spinning on its head and you find yourself face down on the sheets with your arms held behind your back.

Mingyu slaps your ass and the sting gets you up on shaky knees. He doesn’t even need to tell you what he wants because you want it too. Teasing his cock at your entrance, he takes his time savoring the way that your juices drip all over him, your pussy already clenching in anticipation.

He runs the head along your slit, dipping it up to roll across that perky little clit of yours. He keeps you like this so long you’re drooling onto the pillow, clenching and dripping down his length and he isn’t even inside of you yet. 

Not one to be outdone, you drop your hips down, slipping him right up to your entrance. You sink back on him an inch or so, popping his head right inside of you. You hear a sharp inhale and feel his body give out on him for a second. You move your hips in a circular motion, teasing him with the sight of you stretching yourself open with his cock.

“I thought you said you wanted more” you giggle, shaking your ass in the cutest way. 

Mingyu slaps it again, gripping your hips, “So she can still speak. We gotta change that.”

He slams into you and you cry out at the force of his thrust. The aftershock has your body humming but there’s no time to soak it in. Mingyu doesn’t stop, doesn’t let up even a little bit. He’s feral for you. Already addicted to the feeling of you wrapped around him. 

Keeping your wrists pinned, he reaches around to massage your clit, and your knees almost give out. He catches you before you can collapse, keeping you right where he wants you. Gripping the pillow, you bite down hard, screaming as loud as you want into the soft cotton while he deep strokes you to the brink of insanity. 

It’s not long before a familiar feeling’s tugging at your stomach. You’re like a bottle of champagne, all shaken up and ready to pop. Mingyu rubs your bud faster, kissing the small of your back, “You gonna cum for me, baby? Hmm?”

Your body answers before your words can, jiggling in all the right places while you cum harder than you ever have. The clench and release of your walls as you gush down your own thighs drags him closer to his own high but he’s not ready yet. He has to keep thrusting into you, playing with your pussy until your body’s spent. 

For a moment it seems as if he’s achieved his goal. Reeling from your high, your whole body gives into the mattress and you’re stuck there, letting out the sweetest whines with his cock still inside of you. But that moment’s fleeting and in a few seconds you’re back up on your knees, whipping around to take his cock into your mouth. 

You don’t hesitate to take all of it into your mouth, not gagging once as you rub it against the back of your throat. If the gasps and moans coming from overhead are any indication, your tongue wrapped around his cock has him wrapped around your finger. You feel around blindly until you find his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. Your tongue traces the veins of his shaft, feeling the blood rush to the head throbbing at the back of your throat. 

The taste of your mixed arousal floods your senses as it drips from the corners of your perfectly pursed lips. You sneak a peek up at him. That gorgeous face. Those muscles dripping with sweat. His body jerks and you easily pick up on the signs, slipping him out of your mouth at the perfect time for him to cum all over your tongue and those plush, puffy lips. You take him into your hands, stroking him until you’ve gotten every last drop. Licking your lips clean, you kiss the tip and lay back in bed, bringing him down with you.

Mingyu cozies his head up to your belly, his chest heaving for air, “Where’d you learn to do it like that?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just gifted” you sigh, brushing your fingers through his hair. 

“Well, whatever you did, just know it’s yours now” he says, propping his chin up to gaze at you. 

“Mine? What’s mine?”

“I asked who this belonged to.  You said it’s yours. Unless you don’t want it…”

“No! No! No!” you scramble, your cheeks warming up again, “It’s mine! It’s mine! I’ll take it.”

Mingyu raises an eyebrow, using his last bit of energy to crawl on top of you, “You’ll take it again? So soon?”

He spreads your legs, dipping his fingers between your legs and you’re still dripping wet. He presses up against you and you giggle feeling how hard he still is.

“You did say it’s mine” you smile, legs wrapping around his waist, “So give it to me.”

[catiuskaa]

𝐆𝐓𝐊: 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲.

sum. seungmin streams from time to time with the boys, and today, you wanted to join in… kind of. not like he’s going to complain!

wc. 1.0k

cw. fluff! swearing, they’re playing gta (guns and other weapons mentioned) sanrio characters, short references to seungin, minsung and hyunibini, and that’s all!

req! by annonie right here. girl i am so sorry it took me so long, i completely erased this from my mind ㅠㅠ hope you’re still around!

[♦️ ☆ 🎆 ☆ ♦️]

The lights flicker above him, and Seungmin blinks, waiting for something. It’s a pact you two made up for when he was busy gaming and you needed his attention.

“Yeobo?” He’s calling for you, and he moves the headset on his head, freeing one ear so as to hear you better. Weirdly enough, there’s no sound that answers to his voice.

“Seungmin-a, Jeongin-a isn’t going to help you,” Changbin teases through the headset, “you can put the explosives on the vault yourself.” He can hear Felix’s laugh, but there’s something else on his mind.

Well. And on his lap, as of now.

“Bubs, I’m on stream.” He whispers to the top of your head, hiding his smile from the camera behind your silhouette. But you only nod softly, smiling cheekily.

“It’s a pity I don’t care.” You snicker, getting comfortable on your new-found seat. “Tell Changbin I can hear him.” You joke softly.

“Huh? Is noona there?” Felix ponders, and he can notice the smile on the tone of his voice.

“Is she joining in?” Hyunjin asks. “I can add her on the call.”

“Nah, she’s just hanging out,” Seungmin mutters softly after feeling you shake your head against his chest. The sentence comes off almost absentmindedly, as if the action wasn’t mildly weird. You used to be camera shy, especially when he started, never wanting to show up on stream if you weren’t playing too, reason why he came up with the light thing. If you wanted or needed something, you could just turn it on and off, and he’d pause or hide his character in a corner to grant you his attention.

A shy part of him was worried because of all this, and how unusual it was, but as your warmth seeps into his body, he relaxes again, reeling the scent of your shampoo.

“Who are you playing with?” Your voice is soft when you speak, and he forces himself to remember that there’s a camera recording him so as to not coo at you teasingly, calling you adorable to make you blush and giggle like he so often does.

“Just the boys and the chat.” He replies, almost as soft as you, and he can notice the chat going wild in the corner of his eye. “Wanna say hi?” He smiles lightly, ignoring it for now.

Your smile turns cheeky again and you nod, taking his headset and putting it on, turning on his lap to face the camera.

“Heyaa,” you greet sheepishly, your hand fixing the mic to a comfortable distance.

He can hear the boys teasing him, something about you being better than him and how you should join in and team against your boyfriend, but his eyes are still on the chat, watching carefully as he keeps playing.

“What game is this?” You ask, giggling. “Why does Kuromi have a gun?”

“Oh. That’s Minho. Hannie found this mod that lets you use Sanrio skins on GTA.” Chan chimed back before Seungmin could.

“We’re trying to rob a bank,” Felix added with a sneaky laugh.

You snorted, turning back to Seungmin. “What skin are you using, Minnie?”

“Purin, of course.” He chuckles. “Felix and Sung are Kiki and Lala, Changbin is Hello Kitty, Jeongin is Pochacco, Hyunjin is MyMelody, and Chan is Badtemaru.”

“Damn bro, you said all the names right.” Jisung cackled, half surprised.

“Yo, someone in the chat said ‘That’s a weird way to ask for my hand in marriage’.” Jeongin laughed loudly.

“Oh my god,” Seungmin snickers, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“Girl, they’re tryna steal your man,” Hyunjin bickers, knowing you’re still listening.

“Hyunjin, either kiss Changbin or get a girlfriend yourself dude, leave my girl alone.” Seungmin teases back, tenderly taking the headset back as so to not pull on your hair.

You turn back and cuddle into him, giggling as you watch the screen, seeing Hello Kitty chasing MyMelody with a machete, hearing Changbin faintly from the headset, something like ‘kiss me, Hyunjin-a~’ as the rest of the boys laugh.

The gameplay gets a bit boring as you watch them rob the bank, and slowly, your eyes trail toward the chat. It surprises you how most people weren’t talking about the play, but rather you two.

they’re so cute ㅠㅠ

couple goals fr!

así sí que creo en el amor <3

what’s their ship name lmaoo

omg pero si son mis padres!!!

On the other side of the screen, you could notice the number of views increasing by hundreds. You blush, hiding your face in the crook of your boyfriend’s neck.

He passes the controller in front of you, hugging you with his arms in a way that he can still keep playing. Seungmin curses when Minho stabs him and kills him again, watching Kuromi move side to side as the older man teases him meanly.

“Sure, sure, go kiss Ji about it,” He mutes his mic from the Discord group and from the stream, checking it twice before taking the headset off, hanging it on his neck, and turning to you. “You okay there?”

He smiles when he notices your blush, a bit confused. But you nod, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie.

“I can turn off stream if you want to,” he offers.

“It’s okay.” You grin bashfully. “I like watching you play.”

He kisses the top of your forehead, and you cuddle back against him. Seungmin couldn’t care less if the boys are teasing him as soon as he pops his headset back on, turning the mic on again and killing Kiki and Lala in two swift headshots.

“Can we instead talk about how old Chan is?”

[♦️ ☆ 🎆 ☆ ♦️]

kats, who gave y’all a sanrio x straykids x gta collab before gta 6 lololol

catiuskaa, august 2024 ©

PERMANENT TAGLIST! @stayconnecteed @lyramundana

[cailinsblog]

Home for the Holidays |

nico hischier

Nico hischier x reader

Snow was softly falling outside Nico’s window, covering the world in a shimmering blanket of white. Christmas break was here, but despite the festivity, Nico couldn’t help feeling a bit homesick. He missed the snowy Alps, the warmth of his family’s home, and the comforting smell of his mom’s cooking. It was hard not being in Switzerland for the holidays.

But there was one silver lining this season—his next-door neighbor, Y/N. She had become his close friend since he moved into the building. They shared inside jokes, late-night chats, and cups of coffee on cold mornings. He’d developed a soft spot for her, though he tried his best to hide it, not wanting to risk ruining their friendship.

One chilly December morning, Y/N noticed Nico looking especially down. She had picked up on his longing for home, even if he hadn’t explicitly said it. So, determined to bring a bit of comfort his way, she decided to bake him something special. Though Y/N wasn’t Swiss, she loved learning about different cultures, and after some research, she settled on making Lussekatter—Swedish saffron buns. With their golden color and delicate taste, she hoped they might cheer him up.

Later that afternoon, she knocked on his door, a small tray of freshly baked buns in hand. Nico opened the door, surprised to see her standing there with a shy smile and the sweet-smelling treats.

“Hey,” she said softly. “I know you’re missing home, so I made you these. They’re not exactly Swiss, but I thought they might help a little.”

Nico’s eyes softened, touched by her thoughtfulness. He took a bun, tasting the warm, fluffy pastry, savoring the delicate hint of saffron. “Thank you, Y/N. This… means a lot to me,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. He looked at her, feeling his heart swell, but he held back, unsure if she felt the same way.

Y/N, on the other hand, had butterflies in her stomach just being around him. She’d liked Nico for a while now but convinced herself he only saw her as a friend. Seeing him smile, though, made her heart flutter with hope.

The next day, Nico knocked on her door with a surprise of his own. “Hey, so I was thinking—how about I repay you for those amazing buns?” he said, holding out two tickets to a Devils game. “I’d love for you to come.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, Nico, you don’t have to…”

“I insist,” he replied, grinning. “Besides, it wouldn’t be the same without my favorite fan there.”

Blushing, she accepted, and Nico handed her a Devils jersey with his number and name on the back. She slipped it on, and his eyes lit up, seeing her in his colors. “It suits you,” he said softly, and she felt a thrill at the way his gaze lingered on her.

At the game that night, Y/N cheered Nico on, her heart pounding every time he took the ice. It was exhilarating, watching him play with such skill and focus. Late in the third period, the score was tied. Nico skated towards the net, effortlessly maneuvering past the defense and flicked his wrist, sending the puck soaring into the top corner. Goal!

He skated to the boards, looking up to where she was seated, and pointed at her, a bright, triumphant grin lighting up his face. Her breath caught as their eyes met, and her cheeks flushed. She couldn’t believe he’d just done that in front of the entire stadium.

After the game, Nico found her waiting outside the locker room, still buzzing with excitement. “You were amazing, Nico!” she said, pulling him into a hug, her face bright with pride.

He held her close, savoring the warmth of her embrace. “Thanks to you,” he murmured, pulling back slightly to look at her.

Their gazes locked, and for a moment, the world fell away. Nico’s voice was soft as he finally spoke up, gathering the courage he’d been holding back. “Y/N, I… I’ve liked you for a long time. I just didn’t know if you felt the same.”

Y/N’s face lit up, her heart racing as she realized she wasn’t the only one. “I’ve liked you too, Nico,” she admitted, a shy smile spreading across her face. “I just thought you saw me as a friend.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I could never just be friends with you.” Then, as if the universe were giving them permission, he leaned in and kissed her, his lips warm and soft against hers.

They broke apart, grinning at each other, feeling like they were on top of the world. This Christmas break, Nico might have been far from home, but he realized he was exactly where he wanted to be—right there with Y/N.

Reblog and comment💕

[ctrlchar]

Hi Hi! could you please do a really cute Johnnie thing where hes on stream and he gets a bit bored so he texts his gf and she comes in and joins the stream but he's a little touchy and flirty and the chat is going crazy for it? up to you if it goes NSFW or not but this would be cool to read

a/n: thank you for the request! i love this concept sm like I might have to add onto it later

cw:none,a but suggestive but no actual smut

he sound of the mouse on Johnnie’s computer scrolling mindlessly through youtube filled the room as he continued his seemingly endless search for something to do

“there’s nothing to fuckin’ watch” he mutters through his lips as he continues to scroll down the list of videos on youtube.

his eyes glance at the chat from time to time trying to read the suggestions the viewers were giving but to no avail due to how fast the chat was moving.

an idea pops in his head as he grand his phone and begins to text you to come into his room where he had been streaming

he quickly gets a response back from you since you had been sitting in the living room watching a movie since you didn’t want to interrupt his stream. as soon as you see his text asking you to join him you quickly get up off the couch and walk towards his room.

you knock on the door before opening it wearing one of your boyfriends many band shirts and some shorts

you walk over to Johnnie,moving one of his extra chairs into the frame of the camera in the process

you give the camera a small wave as Johnnie introduces you

“since it was getting a little boring i decided to invite my totally real girlfriend to join me” he says with a slight smile before gesturing over to you .

you try to read the chat which is a little difficult but you can see some of the chats, most of which are talking about how cute you and Johnnie look together .

after a minute of thinking, your boyfriend decides to go onto steam instead to play a game rather then watching youtube.

with his free hand Johnnie places his hand on your thigh as he looks for a game. you rest your hand on top of his before eventually taking his hand into your own.

“so what have you been up to?” you ask taking a glance at his computer screen.

“nothing really,just looking for a game or something. we were on youtube but i couldn’t find anything i wanted to watch” he sighs running a hand through his hair.

he turns his head away from his mic, which to the viewers just looks like he’s looking for something,that is until he whispers in your ear “but i can think of a couple things that i would rather be doing with you”

“Johnnie!” you exclaim with a slap to his arm,as well as a faint blush on your cheeks to which he laughed

through the sea of messages you could make out that most if not all of them were asking you what Johnnie had said but in various forms

“they’re right babe,tell the people what they wanna hear” your boyfriend jokes,nudging your shoulder

you raise your hands in defense saying “i plea the fifth” before taking Johnnie’s hand in your own and resting your head on his shoulder.

[yandere-kokeshi]

heyyyy, i saw your werewolf TF 141 posts, and i have some ideas brewing >:) just imagine trying to go to the bathroom in peace or worse trying to leave for work or something else, and if you do escape, if you come home smelling like another person (especially another man 👀) i feel like there would be a lot of chaotic moments happening that household :p

Warnings: yandere behavior, possessiveness, and smut shit, minors DNI!

No, because you’re right. They’re the definition of, ‘If you leave me, we will kill you (softly) >:(!’

They’re always on you the minute you get home, regardless of where or who you went with. The wildest men, Soap and Gaz, are immediately surrounding you at the door, gently nipping your hand to guide you to their nest; before growling out as the disgusting smell of another person waves in like flies.

All of them hate outsiders. The smell of humans — the scent of someone else on you? Yeah, that’s one way to make them lose their goddamn mind. They growl at your skin, furiously licking it away and dragging you back to the den, so they can replace it with theirs. 

Funnily enough, Kyle jokingly brought up a small thought a few weeks ago: what if they pretend to be a service dog? You laughed then, taking it as a joke. However, It’s a thought they hadn’t stopped thinking about since. And it’d be perfect, really. 

They’ll act nice, they’d promise. Taking turns every day. Nudging your legs, pretending to be alerting you, but in reality, annoyed that customers are continually chatting you up at the grocery store; but they won’t blame them. You are pretty. 

Whenever they want attention in public, they’d force you on the ground — laying on top of you, pretending to be doing DPT. And of course, narrowing their eyes at anyone who wants to touch them. 

Though, ignore the top half, once coming home from work, they’re always on you the minute you step through the front door, regardless of where or who you went with. Price is immediately surrounding you at the door, gently nipping your hand to guide you to the nest; before growling out as the disgusting smell of another person waves in like flies.

Next you know, you’ve fallen to the floor, vigorously dragged by your ankle, whom by Johnny — only growls when you resist. Yelling at them only excites them more to show you who you belong too. 

Once you finally get out of the cuddle ball, which you were immediately forced into once you got home from work, one of them will follow you and whine at the door. High chance it’s Johnny, who will scratch at the door, barking at you to come out (and maybe chewing at the fuckin’ door, it ain’t the first time you’ve had to replace the damn thing!). He starts to jump around you when you come out, his tail wagging excitedly. 

In the mornings, they loathe seeing you get ready for work. The changing to appropriate clothes makes them growl, and you leaving the bedroom to grab your keys makes them whine. Johnny likes to purposely play games, especially grabbing your keys and running around the house, which leads to you chasing him and being late.

Most of the time, you’re chewed out by your boss — you being late so many times is a heavy toll on your shoulders. And when you come home, you’re obviously irritated. They can tell and smell it from you. 

They try to make you feel better. They really do! But why can’t you see you only need them? All of them surround you, making you irritable, laugh when they lick you. But only whine, when you tell them to move or get out of the way; ears flat down when you slam the bedroom door to be left alone. 

Either way, if you dare to get ready for work, after purposely ignoring them the night before, they can easily overpower you. Biting at the back of your knees, causing you to quite literally fall face-first and then quickly sitting on top of your back; making you learn that you require them and need to stay home. They need to protect you, so why can’t you understand that?

Punishments are rare. But if you keep pushing their limits, especially when you come back from a friend’s night quite late, they get on all fours. Turning in their full forms and fuck you senseless until you promise you won’t leave without their permission.  

But, once in a while, they’ll let you go without any trouble. They give you a bunch of kisses, growling in promises that you’ll be back before 8pm. And if you decide to push it, even by 10 minutes? They’re angry, and pent-up with annoyance yet again. 

—

Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking, it helps me as a creator!! Stay well!!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[hetaherr]

playing video games with them | anemo boys <3

: kazuha, xiao, venti, wanderer

:mostly crack, a little suggestive but no warnings

well anyway this is another reupload!! added kuni’s part also got lazy to proof read its just a headcanon anyway!!! i play wayy to much video games and id love to share my hobbies with these sweet babies <3

kazuha

i think this baby is a really chill gamer, he enjoys the cozy aspect of video games. thats why i think games like minecraft, stardew valley, animal crossing and the sims!! cozy video game dates are a norm for you guys when its too hot outside or too rainy.

imagine playing stardew valley with him, curled up under the covers with your MATCHING SWITCH CONSOLES. you guys working through the first few years of the game as little farm people doing little farm things. he’d even find some helpful guides online so you guys can maximise your finances in the game. honestly i can see how he gets a little petty at the fact that you MARRIED some npc in the game and he had to watch the whole cutscene while you joked around that he hadn’t given you enough attention and this was all his fault. now kazuha hates that particular npc, and he’s definitely pouting the whole night. give him lots of smooches, tell him that no video game code can replace your pookie wookie baby boy <3

but there, of course are other ways you can make up for it, like asking him to marry you- in animal crossing duh!! he’d take this whole thing very seriously obviously, its a wedding silly. he’d prepare a little wedding venue in his world by the beach, even going as far to design a cute little tux. it’s adorable, also don’t think for a second that he wouldn’t give you a kiss (giggling after) when the wedding officiant says you may now kiss. i also can picture kazuha buying you a promise ring irl , with a maple leaf engraved onto it. yes it was a animal crossing wedding, but it was YOUR WEDDING non the less.

another thing i can imagine is while you were playing the sims kazuha would 100% ask to create a little family with you. he’d even help to go “shopping” online for CC that would fit your characters or homes. kazuha DIES A LITTLE inside as you carefully curate each of the characters, spending hours deciding on the perfect outfits, hairs and personalities. coming up with mini fantasy stories about the mini yous and giggling along with him when they get a little too absurd. your cute family consists of you, kazuha and a little white cat. kazuha likes watching you get a little flustered whenever his character flirts with yours, sending a romantic haiku your way. not to mention the first time your character’s woohoo’ed he teasingly said:

“its honestly a shame that they’re the only ones that get to woohoo you know?”

anyway kazuha is 100% down to try as many games as he can with you, playing games with him is 10 bells out of 10 bells hehe

xiao

gamer xiao… yea he kinda scares me. xiao plays shooter games for sure, like obviously he’s had an eboy valorant phase but lets skip past that for now. its definitely more than normal to hear him grumbling how “dogshit” some of his teammates are. he’s definitely muted from chat on several games, also banned from league most of the time from being toxic in the chats.

playing competitive games with xiao is definitely an experience, and it definitely does not feel like the stereotypical pocket sage and hyper-carry jett. so please proceed with caution. the first time you and him played together, he may have gotten a little TOO HEATED and may have cussed you out on accident forgetting it was his loving, doting and caring partner who just wanted to participate in one of his hobbies. xiao doesn’t mean to get angry at you, please bare with him when the words “how is this person so fucking bad, how are they SO USELESS JUST GET OFF THE GAME DUDE” slip out. and oh boy… xiao immediately regrets his words, he feels so bad. he was actually overjoyed when you asked to play with him, even if he doesn’t actually show it, now he definitely assumes that you won’t ever want to play games with him EVER, hell maybe you want to break up. he’s spiralling. he apologises so much and he’s so awkward and so fidgety. its hard to stay mad at him, when he’s like this you have to admit he’s a little cutie. the next few days he’s definitely cautious and on edge around you, he finds it weird that you let go of the situation so easily and just moved on. he cant believe he let such vulgar words be thrown towards you. so after a conversation about his behaviour, you both decide maybe its best you just be an observer. you’re more than happy to straddle him, chin on his shoulder when he plays at his pc. and xiao LOVES IT, there is honestly nothing more comforting than you give him a little kiss when he starts to get a little too tense. occasionally when you face the screen and watch his games, he gets so nervous to play well. and xiao absolutely DIES when you compliment his abilities. bro needs the praise please, in that moment he thinks you’re so sexy and you have such a caring soul and his ears are tinted so red. don’t tease him though, he won’t be able to play the game properly.

another thing xiao is so weirdly good at is arcade games. i can picture arcade dates and xiao is just godly at them, claw machines, those basketball ones, car racing- you name it sweetheart and he’s earning those tickets like he needs to feed his 20 kids as a single dad. xiao acts so nonchalant about it, shrugging his shoulders as if this talent of his isn’t a big deal, but inside he’s so proud that he’s managed to get you that plushie he knows you’d been eyeing the whole day. he loves the way you grip onto his biceps pulling him to another machine to test his abilities, he may grumble about you overreacting but he’s so happy just to see you smile. and having you cheer him on the side is such an added bonus, you’re such a cute cheerleader. anyway i rate xiao a “please dont scold me baby im trying my best” out of “FUCK YOU FUCKING SUCK”

venti

horror games. literally venti HATES THEM but he cant get enough of it. playing phasmophobia would be so incredibly fun, but also a total shitshow. like im talking him making you do all the work while he intentionally provokes the ghost. at the same time he’s too scared to do anything so, he’s always really close to you. so if anything ever happens, you’d be a total idiot to think he’d try to help you, venti would be the first one out the door and running away. venti is also so horrendously LOUD, literally half the time instead of getting spooked by the game, your having a heart attack inducing jump scare from his random screaming. don’t even get me started on roblox horror games, every week there’s some new game he discovered on tiktok, and you are playing it with him, you have to.

another game venti loves to play is sims, but he’s about 100 times more chaotic compared to kazuha. he loves those ridiculous challenges and he wants to have like 10 babies with you, and then proceeds to cry when they are taken away from the sims version of cps. for some reason he has all the packs and likes to screw around with everything. he makes silly little bets with you in any game, for example in the sims he’d bet with you whether your 23rd child is going to be a boy or girl, most bets are harmless like a kiss or cuddles, unless he’s in the mood.

speaking of intimacy, venti needs to be holding you while playing games. arms linked, lying on your lap or you in his, honestly you just let him because he’s so cheeky about it anyway. venti also loves playing music related games with you, duh!! karaoke, guess the song, finish the lyric. ANYTHING!! whether you can sing or not, he just loves to hear your voice, definitely teases you if you cant though hehe. karaoke is so fun, if your shy he definitely eases you into letting lose and breaking out of your comfort zone, duetting with you is something he loves because music is his passion and honestly it hits so close to home for him. you’d often find him squeezing your hand as a form of encouragement.

im rating venti a solid 8 red bulls out of “i’ve already had 15”.

wanderer

this little emo baby is 100% only ever playing single player games, things that are extremely grindy and super lore heavy (bro is on subreddits looking at game theories and conspiracies, he would love to talk to you about them if you ever asked)!! im talking about bloodborne, doom, assassin’s creed and dark souls. he hates online multiplayer games because he doesn’t want to interact with “idiots” as he’s mentioned numerous times. so unfortunately its not often that you have a chance to play any type of multiplayer games with him.

however when it comes to his gaming sessions, he’d subtly invite you to come watch him because you’re like his own little streaming audience, and he loves it. the way you comment about how cool his character looks, or ask questions about gameplay mechanics. he loves how you involve yourself in his hobbies, it turns him to mush. he also loves how you play with his hair while peeking over his shoulder to look at the tv screen as he taps away at the controller. sometimes when the game gets a little boring he notices how your breath bounces off his neck, needless to say, those nights end up a bit more differently than how you originally imagined.

also if your ever interested in the game, kuni would “hesitantly” offer you to play on a new save file. but he’s actually elated that you’re going to try his FAVOURITE video game ever. you take your place in his lap as he explains to you the basics, not many would notice but you can ever so slightly hear the excitement in his voice. kuni complains about you being so lost but he’s so careful with explaining certain things, he’s also so patient as you take hours designing your character, well he’s okay being patient since its you. kuni absolutely DISSOLVES when facing a difficult boss, puzzle or obstacle, you kinda go into a slump against his chest and beg him to help you get past it. he snickers that your so weak, but somehow he manages to get through so swiftly- i guess he needs to show off a little to you. he also may complain a lot but thats just how this baby boy is, dont get discouraged he actually thinks you’re so cute.

also if you ever find yourself playing overcooked, moving out, gang beasts or any of those party games with kuni… good luck, just because he doesn’t like competitive games like valorant, DOES NOT MEAN HE ISNT COMPETITIVE. he gets so worked up and its honestly a little cute if you can look past the crusty white dog behaviour. if you do end up getting into an argument over these games, dont be surprised. im lazy to give a rating so im giving him 10/10, again minus the crusty white dog.

edit: if you saw “anyway wanderer is a straight” HAHA i apologise maybe thats why i should straight proof reading oops hehe

[thoughtsforsoob]

bf!huening kai (i have been in love with this man since debut. My bestie and I say he’s my little white boy😉)

omg he is such a sweetheart :( he is always gonna make sure that you're doing okay. 

He texts you multiple times a day just to check up on you

Especially if he knows you’re going to have a tough day

This sweet boy goes all out on those days where he knows you’re either going through it or doing to go through it

If even slightly mention that you have a big test at uni or you have an important meeting at work, he is going to pull out all the stops

He’ll start the day by cooking you breakfast of your choice

He then goes onto making your lunch and packing you plenty of snacks

He even writes a little sweet note and put it in a cute little lunch bag he kept for these types of situations

You’ve got this baby! Your Huening believes in you!! Lots of kisses when you get him will be guaranteed if you promise to try your best. - sincerely, the cutest and best boyfriend in the whole world

He calls you down into the kitchen and eats breakfast with you, feeding you a few bites at first since you were still pretty sleepy

He cleans up the table and washes the dishes while you're getting ready for the day. He just doesn't want you to have to worry about cleaning when you’re stressed out

Once you’re ready to go, he makes sure you have everything in your bag and gives you your lunch box and water bottle. He even packs in a sweet drink for you to enjoy with your lunch

He gives you a kiss and a hug on your way out, “have a good day! I'll come home after you tonight but you can tell me all about it as soon as I get home.”

Speaking of hugs…hyuka is the king of hugs

He's big, tall boy and he just looks so cozy to me

He hugs you so close and your face is always squished into his chest but you never mid because you get to inhale his scent that you love so much

When he finds out that you love the way he smells, he always slips his hoodies in your backpack/work bag during the cold seasons and if you mention your work/classroom is cold. 

He loves seeing you in his clothes because they’re usually just long on you since he’s pretty tall

He’s such a nerd omg

When he finds something he really enjoys, he will share it with you

He’ll talk your ear off about some new video game he and beomgyu started playing together and you just sit there, looking at his adorable little face as he talks excitedly.  

He always asks if you wanna try to game too and if you say yes, you better believe he is so happy. Happiest boy in the whole world 

He swear he falls deeper in love with you when you share interests with him and when you listen to him ramble about said interests

All he's ever wanted in a partner was someone to listen to him and here you are!

Your arms of plush animals…

He's got so many of them that at some point, he started to move some of them into your apartment

When he is eventually given clearance to move in with you, the both of you go apartment hunting with a very specific requirement 

One extra room for your plushie family and other collectable items

You two are just little dorks in love at the end of the day

I think i've mentioned this in another work of mine but family is really important to Huening 

He gets together often with his siblings and talks to his parents on the phone almost every single day. If he can't chat on the phone with them, he texts them when he can

He really wants you to get along with his family bt totally understands if you seem nervous

He would never push you to do anything you weren’t ready for so he’ll give you plenty of time to prepare

When you meet his sisters for the first time, it was at a cafe. It turns out that you had pretty much no reason to be nervous because there was an instant connection between the 3 of you

His sisters were made aware by kai that you were nervous so they just went in for it and introduced themselves right away

After that, you 3 were joking around and having fun, not wanting to leave each other so you all went shopping together right after

Kai was so happy to find out you get along with his sister but also nervous…you 3 were going to terrorize him for the rest of his life

He was okay with it because he loves you 3 so much

When it comes to meeting his parents…he waits until you're ready and when you finally are, he has them come to the both of you

Again, there was an instant click, especially with his mom

She brought a baby album full of his pictures and she shows you all of them, giving the back stories

He gets all red and shy when she shows you one of him in the tub, playing with his rubber duck bath toys

“Mom! Not that one!!” he whines and pulls you closer to him, shielding your eyes

You and his mom trade numbers and she sends you a picture of the picture so you’re good on that front

Moving away from meeting his family…this boy is just so attentive

God forbid you get sick or even worse…get your period! 

He is on you, throwing all the blankets you own on top of you, stuffing you full of homemade soup, and asking you if you;re okay every ten minutes

Poor thing is just really worried about you

He knows that he'll never understand how it feels to be on your period but he tries his best to be supportive

The cutest thing he does is his famous tummy rubs to help soothe your cramps and warm you up

He is the best boyfriend ever, me thinks

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

Couch surfer in his 30s. Oscar winner in his 40s. Why the whole world wants Taika

**Notes: This is very long post!**

Good Weekend

In his 30s, he was sleeping on couches. By his 40s, he’d directed a Kiwi classic, taken a Marvel movie to billion-dollar success, and won an Oscar. Meet Taika Waititi, king of the oddball – and one of New Zealand’s most original creative exports.

Taika Waititi: “Be a nice person and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole.”

The good news? Taika Waititi is still alive. I wasn’t sure. The screen we were speaking through jolted savagely a few minutes ago, with a cacophonous bang and a confused yelp, then radio silence. Now the Kiwi ­ filmmaker is back, grinning like a loon: “I just broke the f---ing table, bro!”

Come again? “I just smashed this f---ing table and glass flew everywhere. It’s one of those old annoying colonial tables. It goes like this – see that?” Waititi says, holding up a folding furniture leg. “I hit the mechanism and it wasn’t locked. Anyway …”

I’m glad he’s fine. The stuff he’s been saying from his London hotel room could incur biblical wrath. We’re talking about his latest project, Next Goal Wins, a movie about the American Samoa soccer team’s quest to score a solitary goal, 10 years after suffering the worst loss in the game’s international history – a 31-0 ­ignominy to Australia – but our chat strays into ­spirituality, then faith, then religion.

“I don’t personally believe in a big guy sitting on a cloud judging everyone, but that’s just me,” Waititi says, deadpan. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

This is the way his interview answers often unfold. Waititi addresses your topic – dogma turns good people bad, he says, yet belief itself is worth lauding – but bookends every response with a conspiratorial nudge, wink, joke or poke. “Regardless of whether it’s some guy living on a cloud, or some other deity that you’ve made up – and they’re all made up – the message across the board is the same, and it’s important: Be a nice person, and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole!”

Not being an arsehole seems to have served Waititi, 48, well. Once a national treasure and indie darling (through the quirky tenderness of his breakout New Zealand films Boy in 2010 and Hunt for the Wilderpeople in 2016), Waititi then became a star of both the global box office (through his 2017 entry into the Marvel Universe, Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion worldwide) and then the Academy Awards (winning the 2020 best adapted screenplay Oscar for his subversive Holocaust dramedy JoJo Rabbit, in which he played an imaginary Hitler).

Waititi playing Adolf Hitler in the 2019 movie JoJo Rabbit. (Alamy)

A handsome devil with undeniable roguish charm, Waititi also slid seamlessly into style-icon status (attending this year’s Met Gala shirtless, in a floor-length gunmetal-grey Atelier Prabal Gurung wrap coat, with pendulous pearl necklaces), as well as becoming his own brand (releasing an eponymous line of canned ­coffee drinks) and bona fide Hollywood A-lister (he was introduced to his second wife, British singer Rita Ora, by actor Robert Pattinson at a barbecue).

Putting that platform to use, Waititi is an Indigenous pioneer and mentor, too, co-creating the critically acclaimed TV series Reservation Dogs, while co-founding the Piki Films production company, committed to promoting the next generation of storytellers – a mission that might sound all weighty and worthy, yet Waititi’s new wave of First Nations work is never earnest, always mixing hurt with heart and howling humour.

Waititi with wife Rita Ora at the 2023 Met Gala in May. (Getty Images)

Makes sense. Waititi is a byproduct of “the weirdest coupling ever” – his late Maori father from the Te Whanau-a-Apanui tribe was an artist, farmer and “Satan’s Slaves” bikie gang founder, while his Wellington schoolteacher mum descended from Russian Jews, although he’s not devout about her faith. (“No, I don’t practise,” he confirms. “I’m just good at everything, straight away.”)

He’s remained loyally tethered to his ­origin story, too – and to a cadre of creative Kiwi mates, including actors Jemaine Clement and Rhys Darby – never forgetting that not long before the actor/writer/producer/director was an industry maven, he was a penniless painter/photographer/ musician/comedian.

With no set title and no fixed address, he’s seemingly happy to be everything, everywhere (to everyone) all at once. “‘The universe’ is bandied around a lot these days, but I do believe in the kind of connective tissue of the universe, and the energy that – scientifically – we are made up of a bunch of atoms that are bouncing around off each other, and some of the atoms are just squished together a bit tighter than others,” he says, smiling. “We’re all made of the same stardust, and that’s pretty special.”

-----------------------------------------------

We’ve caught Waititi in a somewhat relaxed moment, right before the screen actors’ and media artists’ strike ends. He’s ­sensitive to the struggle but doesn’t deny enjoying the break. “I spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and not writing, and having a nice ­holiday,” he tells Good Weekend. “Honestly, it was a good chance just to recombobulate.”

Waititi, at right, with Hunt for the Wilderpeople actors, from left, Sam Neill, Rhys Darby and Julian Dennison. (Getty Images)

It’s mid-October, and he’s just headed to Paris to watch his beloved All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup. He’s deeply obsessed with the game, and sport in general. “Humans spend all of our time knowing what’s going to happen with our day. There’s no surprises ­any more. We’ve become quite stagnant. And I think that’s why people love sport, because of the air of unpredictability,” he says. “It’s the last great arena entertainment.”

The main filmic touchstone for Next Goal Wins (which premieres in Australian cinemas on New Year’s Day) would be Cool Runnings (1993), the unlikely true story of a Jamaican bobsled team, but Waititi also draws from genre classics such as Any Given Sunday and Rocky, sampling trusted tropes like the musical training montage. (His best one is set to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears.)

Filming in Hawaii was an uplifting experience for the self-­described Polynesian Jew. “It wasn’t about death, or people being cruel to each other. Thematically, it was this simple idea, of getting a small win, and winning the game wasn’t even their goal – their goal was to get a goal,” he says. “It was a really sweet backbone.”

Waititi understands this because, growing up, he was as much an athlete as a nerd, fooling around with softball and soccer before discovering rugby league, then union. “There’s something about doing exercise when you don’t know you’re doing exercise,” he enthuses. “It’s all about the fun of throwing a ball around and trying to achieve something together.” (Whenever Waititi is in Auckland he joins his mates in a long-running weekend game of touch rugby. “And then throughout the week I work out every day. Obviously. I mean, look at me.”)

Auckland is where his kids live, too, so he spends as much time there as possible. Waititi met his first wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley, on the set of Boy in 2010, and they had two daughters, Matewa Kiritapu, 8, and his firstborn, Te Kainga O’Te Hinekahu, 11. (The latter is a derivative of his grandmother’s name, but he jokes with American friends that it means “Resurrection of Tupac” or “Mazda RX7″) Waititi and Winstanley split in about 2018, and he married the pop star Ora in 2022.

He offers a novel method for balancing work with parenthood … “Look, you just abandon them, and know that the experience will make them harder individuals later on in life. And it’s their problem,” he says. “I’m going to give them all of the things that they need, and I’m going to leave behind a decent bank ­account for their therapy, and they will be just like me, and the cycle will continue.”

Jokes aside – I think he’s joking – school holidays are always his, and he brings the girls onto the set of every movie he makes. “They know enough not to get in the way or touch anything that looks like it could kill you, and they know to be respectful and quiet when they need to. But they’re just very comfortable around filmmakers, which I’m really happy about, because eventually I hope they will get into the ­industry. One more year,” he laughs, “then they can leave school and come work for Dad.”

Theirs is certainly a different childhood than his. Growing up, he was a product of two worlds. His given names, for instance, were based on his appearance at birth: “Taika David” if he looked Maori (after his Maori grandfather) and “David Taika” if he looked Pakeha (after his white grandfather). His parents split when he was five, so he bounced between his dad’s place in Waihau Bay, where he went by the surname Waititi, and his mum, eight hours drive away in Wellington, where he went by Cohen (the last name on his birth ­certificate and passport).

Waititi was precocious, even charismatic. His mother Robin once told Radio New Zealand that people always wanted to know him, even as an infant: “I’d be on a bus with him, and he was that kind of baby who smiled at people, and next thing you know they’re saying, ‘Can I hold your baby?’ He’s always been a charmer to the public eye.”

He describes himself as a cool, sporty, good-looking nerd, raised on whatever pop culture screened on the two TV channels New Zealand offered in the early 1980s, from M*A*S*H and Taxi to Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. He was well-read, too. When punished by his mum, he would likely be forced to analyse a set of William Blake poems.

He puts on a whimpering voice to describe their finances – “We didn’t have much monneeey” – explaining how his mum spent her days in the classroom but also worked in pubs, where he would sit sipping a raspberry lemonade, doodling drawings and writing stories. She took in ­ironing and cleaned houses; he would help out, learning valuable lessons he imparts to his kids. “And to random people who come to my house,” he says. “I’ll say, ‘Here’s a novel idea, wash this dish,’ but people don’t know how to do anything these days.”

“Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met or a story I’ve stolen from someone.” - Taika Waititi

He loved entertaining others, clearly, but also himself, recording little improvised radio plays on a tape deck – his own offbeat versions of ET and Indiana Jones and Star Wars. “Great free stuff where you don’t have any idea what the story is as you’re doing it,” he says. “You’re just sort of making it up and enjoying the ­freedom of playing god in this world where you can make people and characters do whatever you want.”

His other sphere of influence lay in Raukokore, the tiny town where his father lived. Although Boy is not autobiographical, it’s deeply personal insofar as it’s filmed in the house where he grew up, and where he lived a life similar to that portrayed in the story, surrounded by his recurring archetypes: warm grandmothers and worldly kids; staunch, stoic mums; and silly, stunted men. “Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met,” he says, “or a story I’ve stolen from someone.”

He grew to love drawing and painting, obsessed early on with reproducing the Sistine Chapel. During a 2011 TED Talk on creativity, Waititi describes his odd subject matter, from swastikas and fawns to a picture of an old lady going for a walk … upon a sword … with Robocop. “My father was an outsider artist, even though he wouldn’t know what that meant,” Waititi told the audience in Doha. “I love the naive. I love people who can see things through an innocent viewpoint. It’s inspiring.”

After winning Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award for JoJo Rabbit in 2020. (Getty Images)

It was an interesting time in New Zealand, too – a coming-of-age decade in which the Maori were rediscovering their culture. His area was poor, “but only ­financially,” he says. “It’s very rich in terms of the ­people and the culture.” He learned kapa haka – the songs, dances and chants performed by competing tribes at cultural events, or to honour people at funerals and graduations – weddings, parties, ­anything. “Man, any excuse,” he explains. “A big part of doing them is to uplift your spirits.”

Photography was a passion, so I ask what he shot. “Just my penis. I sent them to people, but we didn’t have phones, so I would print them out, post them. One of the first dick pics,” he says. Actually, his lens was trained on regular people. He watches us still – in airports, ­restaurants. “Other times late at night, from a tree. Whatever it takes to get the story. You know that.”

He went to the Wellington state school Onslow College and did plays like Androcles and the Lion, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible. His crew of arty students eventually ended up on stage at Bats Theatre in the city, where they would perform haphazard comedy shows for years.

“Taika was always rebellious and wild in his comedy, which I loved,” says his high school mate Jackie van Beek, who became a longtime collaborator, including working with Waititi on a Tourism New Zealand campaign this year. “I remember he went through a phase of turning up in bars around town wearing wigs, and you’d try and sit down and have a drink with him but he’d be doing some weird character that would invariably turn up in some show down the track.”

He met more like-minded peers at Victoria University, including Jemaine Clement (who’d later become co-creator of Flight of the Conchords). During a 2019 chat with actor Elijah Wood, Waititi ­describes he and Clement clocking one another from opposite sides of the library one day: a pair of Maoris experiencing hate at first sight, based on a mutual suspicion of cultural appropriation. (Clement was wearing a traditional tapa cloth Samoan shirt, and Waititi was like: “This motherf---er’s not Samoan.” Meanwhile, Waititi was wearing a Rastafarian beanie, and Clement was like, “This ­motherf---er’s not Jamaican.”)

With Jemaine Clement in 2014. (Getty Images)

But they eventually bonded over Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, and especially Kenny Everett, and did comedy shows together everywhere from Edinburgh to Melbourne. Waititi was almost itinerant, spending months at a time busking, or living in a commune in Berlin. He acted in a few small films, and then – while playing a stripper on a bad TV show – realised he wanted to try life behind the camera. “I became tired of being told what to do and ordered around,” he told Wellington’s Dominion Post in 2004. “I remember sitting around in the green room in my G-string ­thinking, ‘Why am I doing this? Just helping someone else to realise their dream.’ ”

He did two strong short films, then directed his first feature – Eagle vs Shark (2007) – when he was 32. He brought his mates along (Clement, starring with Waititi’s then-girlfriend Loren Horsley), setting something of a pattern in his career: hiring friends instead of constantly navigating new working relationships. “If you look at things I’m doing,” he tells me, “there’s ­always a few common denominators.”

Sam Neill says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “The basis of it is this: we’re just a little bit crap at things.”

This gang of collaborators shares a common Kiwi vibe, too, which his longtime friend, actor Rhys Darby, once coined “the comedy of the mundane”. Their new TV show, Our Flag Means Death, for example, leans heavily into the mundanity of pirate life – what happens on those long days at sea when the crew aren’t unsheathing swords from scabbards or burying treasure.

Waititi plays pirate captain Blackbeard, centre, in Our Flag Means Death, with Rhys Darby, left, and Rory Kinnear. (Google Images)

Sam Neill, who first met Waititi when starring in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “And I think the basis of it is this,” says Neill. “We’re just a little bit crap at things, and that in itself is funny.” After all, Neill asks, what is What We Do in The Shadows (2014) if not a film (then later a TV show) about a bunch of vampires who are pretty crap at being vampires, ­living in a pretty crappy house, not quite getting busted by crappy local cops? “New Zealand often gets named as the least corrupt country in the world, and I think it’s just that we would be pretty crap at being corrupt,” Neill says. “We don’t have the capacity for it.”

Waititi’s whimsy also spurns the dominant on-screen oeuvre of his homeland – the so-called “cinema of ­unease” exemplified by the brutality of Once Were Warriors (1994) and the emotional peril of The Piano (1993). Waititi still explores pathos and pain, but through laughter and weirdness. “Taika feels to me like an ­antidote to that dark aspect, and a gift somehow,” Neill says. “And I’m grateful for that.”

-----------------------------------------------

Something happened to Taika Waititi when he was about 11 – something he doesn’t go into with Good Weekend, but which he considered a betrayal by the adults in his life. He ­mentioned it only recently – not the ­moment itself, but the lesson he learnt: “That you cannot and must not rely on grown-ups to help you – you’re basically in the world alone, and you’re gonna die alone, and you’ve just gotta make it all for yourself,” he told Irish podcast host James Brown. “I basically never forgave people in positions of responsibility.”

What does that mean in his work? First, his finest films tend to reflect the clarity of mind possessed by children, and the unseen worlds they create – fantasies conjured up as a way to understand or overcome. (His mum once summed up the main ­message of Boy: “The ­unconditional love you get from your children, and how many of us waste that, and don’t know what we’ve got.”)

Second, he’s suited to movie-making – “Russian roulette with art” – because he’s drawn to disruptive force and chaos. And that in turn produces creative defiance: allowing him to reinvigorate the Marvel Universe by making superheroes fallible, or tell a Holocaust story by making fun of Hitler. “Whenever I have to deal with someone who’s a boss, or in charge, I challenge them,” he told Brown, “and I really do take whatever they say with a pinch of salt.”

It’s no surprise then that Waititi was comfortable leaping from independent films to the vast complexity of Hollywood blockbusters. He loves the challenge of coordinating a thousand interlocking parts, requiring an army of experts in vocations as diverse as construction, sound, art, performance and logistics. “I delegate a lot,” he says, “and share the load with a lot of people.”

“This is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.” - Taika Waititi

But the buck stops with him. Time magazine named Waititi one of its Most Influential 100 People of 2022. “You can tell that a film was made by Taika Waititi the same way you can tell a piece was painted by Picasso,” wrote Sacha Baron Cohen. Compassionate but comic. Satirical but watchable. Rockstar but auteur. “Actually, sorry, but this guy’s really starting to piss me off,” Cohen concluded. “Can someone else write this piece?”

Directing Chris Hemsworth in 2017 in Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion at the box office. (Alamy)

I’m curious to know how he stays grounded amid such adulation. Coming into the game late, he says, helped immensely. After all, Waititi was 40 by the time he left New Zealand to do Thor: Ragnarok. “If you let things go to your head, then it means you’ve struggled to find out who you are,” he says. “But I’ve always felt very comfortable with who I am.” Hollywood access and acclaim – and the pay cheques – don’t erase memories of poverty, either. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.’ ” Small towns and strong tribes keep him in check, too. “You know you can’t piss around and be a fool, because you’re going to embarrass your family,” he says. “Hasn’t stopped me, though.”

Sam Neill says there was never any doubt Waititi would be able to steer a major movie with energy and imagination. “It’s no accident that the whole world wants Taika,” he says. “But his seductiveness comes with its own dangers. You can spread yourself a bit thin. The temptation will be to do more, more, more. That’ll be interesting to watch.”

Indeed, I find myself vicariously stressed out over the list of potential projects in Waititi’s future. A Roald Dahl animated series for Netflix. An Apple TV show based on the 1981 film Time Bandits. A sequel to What We Do In The Shadows. A reboot of Flash Gordon. A gonzo horror comedy, The Auteur, starring Jude Law. Adapting a cult graphic novel, The Incal, as a feature. A streaming series based on the novel Interior Chinatown. A film based on a Kazuo Ishiguro bestseller. Plus bringing to life the wildly popular Akira comic books. Oh, and for good measure, a new instalment of Star Wars, which he’s already warned the world will be … different.

“It’s going to change things,” he told Good Morning America. “It’s going to change what you guys know and expect.”

Did I say I was stressed for Waititi? I meant physically sick.

“Well…” he qualifies, “some of those things I’m just producing, so I come up with an idea or someone comes to me with an idea, and I shape how ‘it’s this kind of show’ and ‘here’s how we can get it made.’ It’s easier for me to have a part in those things and feel like I’ve had a meaningful role in the creative process, but also not having to do what I’ve always done, which is trying to control everything.”

In the 2014 mockumentary horror film What We Do in the Shadows, which he co-directed with Jemaine Clement. (Alamy)

What about moving away from the niche New Zealand settings he represented so well in his early work? How does he stay connected to his roots? “I think you just need to know where you’re from,” he says, “and just don’t forget that.”

They certainly haven’t forgotten him.

Jasmin McSweeney sits in her office at the New Zealand Film Commission in Wellington, surrounded by promotional posters Waititi signed for her two decades ago, when she was tasked with promoting his nascent talent. Now the organisation’s marketing chief, she talks to me after visiting the heart of thriving “Wellywood”, overseeing the traditional karakia prayer on the set of a new movie starring Geoffrey Rush.

Waititi isn’t the first great Kiwi filmmaker – dual Oscar-winner Jane Campion and blockbuster king Peter Jackson come to mind – yet his particular ascendance, she says, has spurred unparalleled enthusiasm. “Taika gave everyone here confidence. He always says, ‘Don’t sit around waiting for people to say, you can do this.’ Just do it, because he just did it. That’s the Taika effect.”

-----------------------------------------------

Taika David Waititi is known for wearing everything from technicolour dreamcoats to pineapple print rompers, and today he’s wearing a roomy teal and white Isabel Marant jumper. The mohair garment has the same wispy frizz as his hair, which curls like a wave of grey steel wool, and connects with a shorn salty beard.

A stylish silver fox, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he suddenly announced he was launching a fashion label. He’s definitely a commercial animal, to the point of directing television commercials for Coke and Amazon, along with a fabulous 2023 spot for Belvedere vodka starring Daniel Craig. He also joined forces with a beverage company in Finland (where “taika” means “magic”) to release his coffee drinks. Announcing the partnership on social media, he flagged that he would be doing more of this kind of stuff, too (“Soz not soz”).

Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to spirits.

There’s substance behind the swank. Fashion is a creative outlet but he’s also bought sewing machines in the past with the intention of designing and making clothes, and comes from a family of tailors. “I learnt how to sew a button on when I was very young,” he says. “I learnt how to fix holes or patches in your clothes, and darn things.”

And while he gallivants around the globe watching Wimbledon or modelling for Hermès at New York Fashion Week, all that glamour belies a depth of purpose, particularly when it comes to Indigenous representation.

There’s a moment in his new movie where a Samoan player realises that their Dutch coach, played by Michael Fassbender, is emotionally struggling, and he offers a lament for white people: “They need us.” I can’t help but think Waititi meant something more by that line – maybe that First Nations people have ­wisdom to offer if others will just listen?

“Weeelllll, a little bit …” he says – but from his intonation, and what he says next, I’m dead wrong. Waititi has long been sick of reverent ­portrayals of Indigenous people talking to kehua (spirits), or riding a ghost waka (phantom canoe), or playing a flute on a mountain. “Always the boring characters,” he says. “They’ve got no real contemporary relationship with the world, because they’re always living in the past in their spiritual ways.”

A scene from Next Goal Wins, filmed earlier this year. (Alamy)

He’s part of a vanguard consciously poking fun at those stereotypes. Another is the Navajo writer and director Billy Luther, who met Waititi at Sundance Film Festival back in 2003, along with Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo. “We were this group of outsiders trying to make films, when nobody was really biting,” says Luther. “It was a different time. The really cool thing about it now is we’re all working. We persevered. We didn’t give up. We slept on each other’s couches and hung out. It’s like family.”

Waititi has power now, and is known for using Indigenous interns wherever possible (“because there weren’t those opportunities when I was growing up”), making important introductions, offering feedback on scripts, and lending his name to projects through executive producer credits, too, which he did for Luther’s new feature film, Frybread Face and Me (2023).

He called Luther back from the set of Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) to offer advice on working with child actors – “Don’t box them into the characters you’ve ­created,” he said, “let them naturally figure it out on their own” – but it’s definitely harder to get Waititi on the phone these days. “He’s a little bitch,” Luther says, laughing. “Nah, there’s nothing like him. He’s a genius. You just knew he was going to be something. I just knew it. He’s my brother.“

I’ve been asked to explicitly avoid political questions in this interview, probably because Waititi tends to back so many causes, from child poverty and teenage suicide to a campaign protesting offshore gas and oil exploration near his tribal lands. But it’s hard to ignore his recent Instagram post, sharing a viral video about the Voice to Parliament referendum starring Indigenous Aussie rapper Adam Briggs. After all, we speak only two days after the proposal is defeated. “Yeah, sad to say but, Australia, you really shat the bed on that one,” Waititi says, pausing. “But go see my movie!”

About that movie – the early reviews aren’t great. IndieWire called it a misfire, too wrapped in its quirks to develop its arcs, with Waititi’s directorial voice drowning out his characters, while The Guardian called it “a shoddily made and strikingly unfunny attempt to tell an interesting story in an uninteresting way”. I want to know how he moves past that kind of criticism. “For a start, I never read reviews,” he says, concerned only with the opinion of people who paid for admission, never professional appraisals. “It’s not important to me. I know I’m good at what I do.”

Criticism that Indigenous concepts weren’t sufficiently explained in Next Goal Wins gets his back up a little, though. The film’s protagonist, Jaiyah Saelua, the first transgender football player in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match, is fa’afafine – an American Samoan identifier for someone with fluid genders – but there wasn’t much exposition of this concept in the film. “That’s not my job,” Waititi says. “It’s not a movie where I have to explain every facet of Samoan culture to an audience. Our job is to retain our culture, and present a story that’s inherently Polynesian, and if you don’t like it, you can go and watch any number of those other movies out there, 99 per cent of which are terrible.”

*notes: (there is video clip in the article)

Waititi sounds momentarily cranky, but he’s mostly unflappable and hilarious. He’s the kind of guy who prefers “Correctumundo bro!” to “Yes”. When our video connection is too laggy, he plays up to it by periodically pretending to be frozen, sitting perfectly still, mouth open, his big shifting eyeballs the only giveaway.

He’s at his best on set. Saelua sat next to him in Honolulu while filming the joyous soccer sequences. “He’s so chill. He just let the actors do their thing, giving them creative freedom, barely interjecting unless it was something important. His style matches the vibe of the Pacific people. We’re a very funny people. We like to laugh. He just fit perfectly.”

People do seem to love working alongside him, citing his ability to make productions fresh and unpredictable and funny. Chris Hemsworth once said that Waititi’s favourite gag is to “forget” that his microphone is switched on, so he can go on a pantomime rant for all to hear – usually about his disastrous Australian lead actor – only to “remember” that he’s wired and the whole crew is listening.

“I wouldn’t know about that, because I don’t listen to what other people say about anything – I’ve told you this,” Waititi says. “I just try to have fun when there’s time to have fun. And when you do that, and you bring people together, they’re more willing to go the extra mile for you, and they’re more willing to believe in the thing that you’re trying to do.”

Yes, he plays music between takes, and dances out of his director’s chair, but it’s really all about relaxing amid the immense pressure and intense privilege of making movies. “Do you know how hard it is just to get anything financed or green-lit, then getting a crew, ­getting producers to put all the pieces together, and then making it to set?” Waititi asks. “It’s a real gift, even to be working, and I feel like I have to remind ­people of that: enjoy this moment.”

Source: The Age

By: Konrad Marshall (December 1, 2023)

[modelbus]

I’m obsessed with the way u write Tommy, the witty dialogue is so >>>> lately I’ve been fixated on the drunk MCC video so if you’d like to write a oneshot based on that it would be super appreciated! Reader probably takes beky’s spot so they’re on the same team, and the more drunk they get the more affectionate and distracted they get and the chat is just eating it up teehee

I actually had to hunt down the video because I haven’t seen it… for anyone curious the video is called “Minecraft But I’m Drunk”!

Pairing: Cc!Tommyinnit x Gn!Reader

Flirting Fools

“IM JUST KEN, WHEN I SEE LOVE I SEE YOUR BALLS—“

The cider you were drinking—same one that Tommy had stocked up on—ends up on your monitor rather than down your throat. Whose idea was it to do a drunk MCC again? Oh, yeah, Tommy fucking Innit.

“Why can’t you say hello like a normal person?” You sigh, wondering if Tommy even has his headphones on.

“Y’know, I want to watch the woman movie but my girlfriend insists I see it with her and I haven’t had the chance.” Jack says, speaking up.

“Oh, Jack, you have a girlfriend?” Tommy asks.

“Acting like you aren’t dating someone too.” You say pointedly, giving a deadpan look to your camera.

“Because you’re amazing! The El-Oh-Em-El! Love of my life!”

“Never spell an acronym out loud again.” You plead.

“What’s an acronym?”

Tubbo’s laugh in the background seems more like a cry of help.

-

“We’re dropping like Fortnite!” Jack exclaims just as the floor vanishes from under you and everyone is out into elytra mode.

“Shit wait we’re playing Fortnite? We playing Fortnite?” Tommy immediately hops on the joke, and you mentally tune him out.

“I love Fortnite!” Jack agrees eagerly. Twenty seconds later, he dies. “I fucking hate Fortnite!”

“I died too.” You inform him, picking up the can of alcoholic cider to take a drink.

“WAIT!” Tommy screeches. “Cheers! Cheers with me!”

You raise your drink to your camera, assuming Tommy is doing the same in his office. Afterward, Tommy slurps his drink far too close to his mic.

“I’m gonna vomit.” Tubbo declares.

“Don’t back down and give up, that’s some shit Kenergy.”

-

“Guys, I just bought myself a pack of ‘Colon the Caterpillar’ and if we win MCC I’ll open them.” Tommy’s voice announces during the loading between games. Do you know what that means? No. Do you want some? Fuck yes.

“Share. Share? Share?” You ask, taking another sip of your drink.

“Come over babygirl.” Tommy answers you. For a second, there’s a complete pause in the call. “…I’m going to kill myself.”

“What the FUCK?” Jack shouts.

“Tom, Tom— never say that again.” Tubbo pleads, are you’re inclined to agree.

“Maybe just… keep your mouth shut.” You advise Tommy.

-

“Oh, Jesus, it’s harder to stream when the— when.” Tommy says, quite eloquently.

“Ah, yes, I when the when all the time with you.” You agree.

“We are when the when-ers.”

“Can you two shut up?” Jack asks.

-

You grit your teeth, groaning when a player kills you, picking up your drink again. Slowly but surely, you’re getting drunker and drunker. So much for not having a hangover tomorrow.

“We’ve literally gotta get this dub guys or I don’t get my sweets.” Tommy reminds everyone. “Why is talking like fuckin’ on extreme difficulty?”

“Is it?” You ask idly, taking another drink just for fun.

“Worse than when I’m kissin’ you and shit.” He confirms.

“Stop making Tubbo and I the third wheel.” Jack pleads.

You grin, laughing. “Nah.”

-

“Listen to me now! Look me in the eyes!” Tubbo says, his character moving to stand directly in front of Tommy’s. “You’re my best friend okay and we’ll get you through this.”

“Tom, Tommy, Toms, listen to me.” You giggle, moving to stand next to Tubbo. “You are my boyfriend. And I will not get you through this.”

“Okay, fuck, well I gotta listen to you. Sorry Tubbo.”

“Oh.”

-

“I’m gonna get the coins in the middle!” After his declaration, Tommy sprints to the middle platform and starts mining away at the yellow coin block.

“Jesus fuck, At least wait!” You sigh, shooting a random person.

“Wha— how are you getting them?” Jack agains, laughing wildly. “How is that working?”

“Cause I’ve got backup! My backup’s the best!” Tommy responds, turning in circles.

“You know I’ve always got your back.” You answer.

“Cause you’re cool like that. You got the moves like Jagger.”

“That I do, Tom Simons. That I do.”

-

“Y’know what? It makes me quiet.” Tommy gives no context, leaving you on your own to puzzle out that he’s talking about being drunk.

“Huh? We literally got plastered that one time and you wouldn’t shut up.” You disagree.

“Well, yeah, ‘cause it was you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Means I like talking to you, bitch.”

“And you don’t like talking to me?” Jack asks. “Oh, yeah, I see how it is.”

“I got priorities man!” Tommy defends himself.

“Priorities being…?” You question, giggling.

“You.”

-

“I’ve got to say, I think there’s a huge lack of focus on the team.” Jack says, coughing pointedly.

“I think I’ve got to agree with you Jack.” Tubbo hums.

“Yeah, and it ain’t us Tubbo.”

“The fuck you saying about me and my boyfriend?” You ask, splash potion of harming in your hand. “You wanna fucking repeat that?”

“No no no no— you guys are great! Teen love— TUBBO RUN—“

-

“Tommyinnit meet and greet on the rocks outside the pier in Brighton at 1am?” Tommy asks. “Any muggers don’t go there though.”

“I’ll go with. Mug both of us.” You offer.

“Yeah, we team that shit. Power of love right there.”

“Love lets people get mugged together?” Jack laughs.

“Not all love Jack.” Tommy corrects.

“Just ours.” You agree with Tommy. “Our love is special, Jack.”

“Oh, it’s certainly something.”

-

Sands of Time has you immediately frowning at the screen and taking another drink. It’s such a shit game, it deserves to be drank to.

“I went to the bathroom guys and I was just like oh by the way…”

There’s a second where you, Tubbo, and Jack wait for Tommy to finish his sentence. He doesn’t.

“‘Oh by the way’ what?” Jack finally asks.

“Oh— oh, I just stopped.” Tommy laughs. Cackles, more like.

“Oh by the way I’m coming over to your place after?” You ask him.

“Really? We can watch that new movie you’ve been wanting to see, if you want.” He doesn’t even blink at the subject change.

“Works for me. Might be a bit before I sober enough to not get murdered in the streets though.”

“I’ll just come get you, love.”

“You’re drunker than me.”

“I’ll scare everyone off with my many muscles.”

“Do you even have one?” Tubbo asks. “One muscle?”

“Many manly muscles.” Tommy doubles-down.

“I’ll just walk.” You sigh.

-

“Guys stop calling me ‘daddy Tommy’ I’m clearly a twink.”

“Tom?” You ask.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up, please.”

“Whatever you say!”

-

<Tommyinnit> Tubbo kisses his cousins

“I do not!” Tubbo exclaims, outrage painting his voice.

“I’ve seen Tubbo bare-lipsing his cousins.” Jack argues immediately.

“Have you?” You ask Jack.

“I’d kiss you even if you were my cousin.” Tommy says to you. “That’s how much I love you.”

“You’d what?”

“No, cause it’s my love.”

“Tom, man, I think it’s time for you to be done.” Jack says wisely.

“Well, no, cause what’s wrong with what I said?”

“So many things. So so many things.”

-

When you blink your eyes open the next morning, everything is hazy and painful. A throbbing headache makes you immediately close your eyes against the bright sunlight of morning, only for you to try again a few moments later.

There's a weight thrown across your middle; upon further inspection, it's Tommy's arm. Heavy and warm, and also keeping you trapped next to him.

"Tom." You groan, knowing that you need some water and Aspirin. He probably does too, considering he definitely drank more than you. "Tom, please."

He mumbles something, barely relenting his grip on you. It's just enough so that you can stretch across the bed to grab your phone from the charger. There's a few messages from friends checking up on you and Tommy (including a shit ton from Wilbur that you're just going to... ignore...) but you swipe open social media.

Only to immediately close it when you realize that you and Tommy are trending for what happened during MCC last night. Although it could very well also have been from the photo Tommy posted of you two kissing, to be fair.

"Stop moving." Tommy groans, pressing his face into your shoulder.

"We need Aspirin and water." You tell him. "And we're trending on Twitter."

"No." His hold on you tightens. "Five more minutes."

You know damn well five minutes will be ten, then thirty, then two hours, but you relent either way.

"Five more minutes."

[foundheavenly]

Streamer!Gojo x M!reader where Satoru he's a famous streamer and you're his secret bf, he shows you on screen for the first time because his followers don't believe you're real <3

Thank you !

Disclaimer: English is not my mother tongue so please be nice.

Words: 800

Pairing: gojo x reader

Theme: fluff, comfort, secret partner, streamer

The camera's red light blinked on, and Satoru’s confident grin filled the screen. The chat window beside him exploded with messages as thousands of fans eagerly awaited his next move.

“Hey, guys! How’s it going?” Satoru greeted, his voice smooth and charismatic. The chat responded with an avalanche of excitement, emojis and questions. Today’s stream had a special energy, a buzz of anticipation that was more intense than usual.

“Satoru, is your secret boyfriend real?” one message stood out among the rest, echoed by dozens of others. It was the question that had been plaguing his fanbase for weeks.

Satoru chuckled warmly, leaning closer to the camera. “Alright, alright, I see you guys are still curious as ever. You really don’t believe I could pull someone, huh?” He glanced off-screen, his eyes meeting yours for a brief second, and your heart raced. You were laying on his bed and waited nervously for the big moment.

yourfavoritedilf: i bet you paid him it ain't real

Satoru frowned and recognized the username. "Shut up, Zen'in."

ihatemylifebro: he ditched his own best friend for another man.

Satoru gasped as he saw a message from Suguru. "Hey back me up on this dude!" He shook his head and grinned. “Okay, buckle up, because I have a surprise for you all.” Hesaid, his voice a mix of excitement and nervousness. “Babe, come here.”

You stepped into the frame, and the chat went wild. Hearts, shocked emojis, and disbelieving comments flooded in. Satoru slipped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Everyone, this is Y/N” he announced, looking at you with a proud smile. “My amazing boyfriend.”

yourfavoritedilf: ain't no fucking way this dumbass pulled a guy

“Hi, guys” You managed, waving at the camera. You could feel your face heating up, a blush creeping in as you read the whirlwind of reactions on the screen.

“No way!”

“He’s real!”

“They’re so cute together!”

“Prove it’s not a prank!”

Satoru laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You guys are hilarious. This is not a prank. Y/N has been my rock for a long time now, and I wanted to share a bit of our life with you all.”

He squeezed your hand under the table, a gesture of reassurance. You took a deep breath and smiled. “It’s true. I’ve been supporting Satoru behind the scenes, but now I guess you get to see me too.”

Questions began pouring in, and Satoru picked a few to answer. “How did you two meet?” one fan asked.

Satoru grinned at you, letting you take the lead. It was a pretty fun story. “We met at a gaming convention. I was cosplaying as one of my favorite characters, and Satoru happened to be there doing a meet-and-greet. I had no idea who he was at first. We just clicked, exchanged gamer tags, and the rest is history."

Satoru laughed warmly and kept his blue gaze on you. "Yeah, he totally played it cool. Didn’t even realize I was a streamer until later."

Chat: That’s such a cute story! Cosplay goals! What character were you cosplaying, Y/N?

You blushed and cleared your throat. "Oh, I was dressed as Tracer from 'Overwatch'. Satoru thought it was impressive because I made most of the costume myself."

Satoru leaned in and kissed your jaw. "And it was impressive. He looked amazing." He smiled and added, "he was also the one who beat me at my favorite game. That’s how he caught my attention, beside of being handsome.” He winked, making the chat explode with laughter and “aww”s.

As the stream continued, you both shared more about your relationship, from your favorite games to your inside jokes. The initial shock of your appearance started to fade, replaced by a warm acceptance from Satoru’s followers.

By the end of the stream, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Satoru turned to you as you both signed off, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. “Thanks for doing this, babe” he whispered.

“Of course” You replied, squeezing his hand. “I’m glad we can finally share this part of our lives with everyone.”

The screen faded to black and the chat slowly quieted down. Satoru leaned back in his chair, pulling you into a tight hug. “That went better than I expected.”

You smiled, resting your head on his shoulder. “Yeah, it did. They really love you. And us.”

Satoru kissed your cheek, a content sigh escaping his lips. “And I love you. Thanks for being real with me.”

You looked up at him, your faces inches apart. “Always, Satoru. Always.”

[myslutwritings]

Hi. Idk if you’re taking requests but can you write headcanons for an enemies to lovers style relationship for Enmu x Reader?

yes i am taking requests! thank you for submitting a request<3

Enemies to lovers with Enmu

➤ headcanons

Enmu x GN!Demon!reader

warnings; enmu 💀💀

• So do y’all remember the mugen train arc? (let’s just pretend Enmu won and received a greater amount of Muzans blood)

• With more of Master Muzan’s blood Enmu becomes bold enough to challenge an upper-ranked demon in a duel for their place.

• That is when he encounters you.

• Tried to take your place but rightfully got his ass kicked.

• Boy, losing was an understatement. you fr ended his whole ass career.

• Enmu is usually infatuated with demons who are stronger than him. But you? Nah, bro just gets pissed off.

• This little shit is INCREDIBLY envious of you and your blood demon art! LIKE NO JOKE.

• It comes to a point where he just becomes more and more obsessive with the thought of beating you.

• Doesn’t challenge any of the other uppermoon demons. Just you and you alone. (You’re a victim fr)

• He battles you for your place over and over and over again.

• You grow aggravated with his obnoxious behavior. You do know it’s only normal between demons to act this way but you can’t help but feel annoyed anyway.

• You’ve beat his puny ass every damn time so why does he only continue to attempt and beat you?? Enmu just flat-out embarrasses himself every time.

• The reason why he persistently challenges you to a duel is because you beat him every time. So Enmu’s desperation grows increasingly high and now he’s convinced he has to beat you. This only grows his obsession and desire for your place. No one else fixates him as much as you do. Enmu’s more than determined now.

• These arrogant ongoing battles become more like a game. (At least to you)

• Enmu takes it seriously while you view it all as child’s play.

• Enmu quite literally despises your guts because of your otherworldly powers and the way you get special treatment by the demon king himself.

• Oh, he wants it ALL.

• However, despite his hatred towards you he does get to know you due to you being the only demon he sees every night when the both of you duel..

• Eventually his envious behavior decreases and he notices how beautiful/handsome, cunning, and beyond majestic you are..

• Bro’s jealousy and undying hatred turns to legit WORSHIP

• Then you’re like: ???

• I THOUGHT YOU HATED ME? is what you say in your mind when you notice his sudden change in demeanor.

• The brutal battles die down and you could almost say you two were ‘friendly’

• Enmu still envies you though. Just not as much as he used to. He’s surprised himself when he notices that he’s growing soft towards you.

• Y’all want from enemies to friends. However, slight tension remains.

• Basically frenemies. That’s how to describe the current situation between y’all.

• Eventually Enmu realizes how unique your abilities are and no longer envies you. his jealousy and hatred dies down as the two of you interact more and more.

• Enmu has never been close with anyone before. He barely interacts with the other demons. Others find him eccentric hence why they never put in any effort to chat with him. (They’re demons after all)

• You’re different than the others which is why he chose to battle with you in the first place.

• Usually when he met up with you the two of you would just fight but those fights turned into just plain old insults to wholeheartedly conversations.

• Enmu is aware of what love is. So it’s no lie when he then tells you he has feelings for you.

• You are surprised by this because affection is extremely rare between demons. No one has ever heard of two demons falling in love. Most of them consider relationships to be a waste of time.

• However, You and Enmu are different.

• The both of you end up together. At first you thought this relationship was going to be a complete failure.

• Spoiler alert; it’s not in the SLIGHTEST!

• Enmu falls hard. LIKE REAL HARD.

• Worships you more than he does Muzan

• An ideal date would be to go out hunting with him. The both of you kill those pitiful humans. Enmu is enamored with the way you kill your victims and how elegant you look while doing it.

• He’s jealous of anyone and anything that comes near you but is really good at hiding it.

• You notice every time though. However, you find his jealousy cute. You reassure him that you love him and only him! (Which Enmu really appreciates)

• This zesty demon is crazy for you. I KID YOU NOT HE’S BEYOND CRAZY FOR YOU.

• He didn’t realize he would love you this much. Enmu wants you to be by his side for all eternity!

• Dreads the thought of you leaving him.

• Y’all crack constant jokes about how you guys were hardcore enemies in the past.

• Enmu digs your sense of humor. You have your own personality unlike the other demons he encounters.

• Overall, this man loves you and worships the ground you walk upon. If you asked him to get on his knees for you and bark like a dog he definitely would 💀💀

that’s all! i hope you enjoyed<3 i apologize if there are any typos. this isn’t proof read.

[montimer]

Howdy ! Okay I just read your post about the Three Jokers and gosh how I’m so happy to see that you wrote for them ;-; I feel like they’re quite niche- so- if you ever feel inspired ! I would love more interactions with them-! Either the way each one of them (or in group) acts and develops feelings for the reader or something like that- (maybe some angst to comfort for the Criminal as well-? Nah I’m sorry I have so many ideas about these 3 dorks xd) thank you again for making me happy with your works ! You rock !

AGWHBSZMAjz thank you sm :]

I have so many ideas w em im happy that u like my writing‼️

The three jokers x reader

Gn!reader

I'll try an all in one! This is gonna be a long one. I will do them separately in another one!

The clown >:D The comedian >:} The Criminal >:{

Okay so first things first. How they fell for you.

'The Comedian' was the first one to take a notice in you. You might be a hero, or villain. Even just a random citizen. He will talk to you and annoy you all night. His face is covered with his hat and he deepened his voice incase you are indeed a hero just out of suit. Yes he will know its you, he did all his researched and even followed you home, he calls this "Just happened to walk the same way a bit close behind".

In the night he'll joke and show you tricks. Even a smile can make him a happier men that day. Especially if you talk with him.

'The Clown' will join him soon enough. Saying "Sharing is caring". He absolutely adores you.

'The Comedian' knew about you for a long time. He just wanted you all for himself. But now that the two of them grew interested in you he believes its the best to confront you.

With good old kidnapping of course. They will lead you into an alley way, then gather around you, one of them spraying you with sleeping gas. "Im sorry, its the only way we can do this without trouble. But don't worry you're in good hands" The Criminal says before you fall asleep.

You woke up in a bed. One of your hand chained to it. You obviously panic. After hearing you wake up The Comedian comes in.

"Oh yeah, sorry. We had to make sure you don't run away... But worry not darling, the sooner you realize why you're here the sooner you can walk around freely!" You gave him a confused face and he just giggles seeing your surprised face.

He goes out and soon comes back with the others, now all three in the room as you. And you sit there scared.

Do i own them money? Is the first thought that comes to your mind.

One of them kneels down so his face is directly looking into yours. As that happens you notice something strange. He isn't smiling, he looks moody.

Im really in trouble aren't i?

He starts explaining to you that you don't need to fear and they brought you here because you interest them.

Still confused you just stare into his eyes. Tho you only see two white dots since his hat is covering his eyes with a dark shadow, barely making his green eyes seeable.

He notices that you're not responding so he puts his hand in your hair and ruffles it, in a way trying to calm you.

After that he tries explaining again, this time more forward.

"We have fallen for you."

"Grew an interest in you!"

"We love ya, it's that easy!"

The three of them spoke after each. You tried to gather your thoughts to respond.

"But...why me?"

"How could we not fall for someone like you? So caring,kind and loving. You have great humor and a beautiful smile too!"

You felt...flattered?

Moving on. After that they all try to make you feel home. They show you around, chat with you, eat with you, even buy you games and plays them with you (tho only 'the clown' has the patience for that. The other two suck at games and call them stupid)

They buy you things you like. Bring you whatever you'd like

They also call you different nick names like: Darling, My love, Sweets and many other, its just the main one for them.

They also get very, very jealous. When you seem to enjoy yourself with one, the other feels either left out or the need to barge into the two of you.

For this not to happen, The Criminal as the boss of them succeed to talk it out with them saying they can all spend quality time with you in different times.

When you can finally walk around without one of them following you or without a chain, you want to also go outside.

Not to escape, you just need some air and all, after being locked in for like a month.

You ask The Criminal for permission. He is worried that you will escape but you just have to explain to him that you do love them and won't leave forever. You wouldn't be so comfy and talk to them if you still wanted to run away.

After a good explaining and some nice words he finally let's you go. He worries the whole time but after like a good 20 minute you come back saying there's not much out there (nothing different to see).

He gives you a hug calming down saying he missed you. But now trusting that you come back you can go whenever ya want! Just please tell him

Important thing is, they don't do stuff that will make you upset/cry or atleast try really hard not to. Your first weeks trapped there was a nightmare. You snapped at any noise and was always expecting the worse. It hurt them to see you so sad and scared. They told you many times that they won't hurt you. The Clown and The Comedian thought that hugging you randomly or surprising you would help (it didnt), The Comedian was angry with them a lot and cus of this you saw him as an angry moody guy. In the end he was the one who made you feel the most safe. He usually tried to sneak into your room and calmly have little chats.

It was usually "Do you need anything?" "Are you hungry, thirsty?" "Feeling alright? You can tell me anything you know.."

At first you just shaked or nodded your head but it turned into responding in small words and soon it became actually talking to him.

You also didnt liked to make eye contact at first, just looking up for a second to see which one of them is bothering you this time.

They either talked about plans, jokes, or asked stuff about you

They are very clingy and love when your attention is on them

They will flirt, a lot. Even ask to shower with you to 'save water' (some of them dont even try to hide it with puns)

They can be lustfull and very possessive

They will protect you, always. Someone hurt you/made you feel awful? They get rid of em dw. Feeling sad or depressed? They will cuddle and listen to you, might aswell try to find a solution too

They love you endlessly ;]

For the angst/comfort part with The Criminal heres a little nothing!

THE CRIMINAL X READER

Oneshot, gn!reader, angst/comfort but mostly soft

He walked around the building, trying to find which room you were in. He missed you and wanted to spend some time with you. Only the two of you.

He got his hopes up too high. At one open door he heard laughing and he stopped, he went up to it and saw you and the other two playing games together.

One of them on your lap, the other hugging your neck cheering for you as you hold your controller in ur hand all smiley.

He felt happy to see you but also a strange feeling encountered him.

Jealousy

You were enjoying yourself with the other two so much. Have you forgotten about him? No, surely not. Right?

They all can spend time with you, of course they can. He was the one who even came up with that so why? Why do they have to be with you the same time he wants. It's been some time since he got to spend time with you.

Many feelings crushed trough him. Anger to sadness to agony to confusion.

He didn't wanted to come in, not to crash there 'little party'.

He left and went to his work room. He tried planning, writing, anything to get his mind off the matter. After hours he still hasn't left, still covering over his desk, pencil in hand with a paper full of drawings that are all scribbled over.

He then heard a knock on his door. Was it one of the Jokers? He didnt wanted to bother with them, not right now. He looked back and saw the door creak open, with you standing there.

"Is it okay to come in?" Your voice softened his heart.

"Come in Y/n. You're always welcome to give me a visit."

You smiled at him as you locked the door behind and came up to give him a hug.

"I wanted to see you!" You said still holding him.

At his surprise he couldn't react. Your not here to ask for something, you really didn't forget about him?

He put his arms around you and pulled you into his lap. Still quiet.

You petted his head and asked if theres something bothering him. He responded with a low grunt.

Even if he really wanted to he couldn't tell you that he got jealous over seeing you overjoyed with the other two. He feels a bit embarrassed, he is still unsure how you view him. What is he in your eyes? A leader? An angry man? Or just a criminal?

He hoped you saw some comfort in him, other than him being moody.

"Can we just lay down and cuddle? Like, just the two of us...alone."

He tried to make himself clear hoping you'd agree.

You nodded at him and gave a kiss to his cheeks. That one simple act made him blush a bit with a slight smile.

You guys walked to your own room and layed down to cuddle on the bed. He put his head into your chest, feeling the warm of your body and your hand caressing his back. It made him feel so loved. It filled him with joy. It calmed him down. He felt relief.

You told him yall can stay unbothered since the others are busy. You saw how his mood changed from quiet and grumpy to less quiet and a small smile on his face showing.

"Where you jealous?" You asked and he gave out a 'mmm' sound and you just giggled at it.

"You don't need to be. I'll always have time for you. I love ya!" You kissed his head and he couldn't help but smile at that. His head still in ur chest, he put his arms around you trying to pull you even closer.

He muttered "I love you too"

[cruesuffix]

Mick anon here! I really loved the streamer au, could you do some general hc's and some for that au? I love how you portray Mick (and nikkimick 🤭)

woah I almost totally forgot that au tbh (if I could turn it into a fanfic I would but im not that good at writing lmaoo) i actually have a couple of ideas now thankfully, I hope this turns out good enough

General headcanons:

- first impressions: I think most ppl would be intimidated by mick when they first meet him. He’s all black hair, black clothes and piercing blue eyes so they automatically think he’s going to be mean as hell. unfortunately, because mick can be shy and awkward when meeting people for the first time, he actually lives up to his title. it takes a more understanding and unbiased person to really crack that shell he loves using as a shield. that’s where you’d come in. sure, when you first meet mick, you do feel a bit intimidated. it might be the way he glares at you with those eyes (you later learn that his eyes are just extremely sensitive to light and he wasn’t actually glaring), or his demeanour; quiet and closed off. still, you can’t help but feel drawn to him. you can tell he’s not as serious as he pretends to be. he just has the kind of vibe of a chill person, someone who avoids drama at all costs. you happen to make a joke that he can’t help but laugh at, and that’s where the mask comes off and he slowly starts to warm up to you. he’d like a good humoured person who doesn’t take themselves as seriously. also you soon learn that he’s actually a lot louder than he seems, he’s only real loud and rowdy when with people he’s comfortable with.

-gift giver: a blog I used to be obsessed with used to talk about how they were sure micks love language was gift giving and it made me think about how he’d give you the most beautiful gifts just because they made him think of you when he saw them. like you would never go out of your way to ask him for anything…probably because you don’t want to seem like you’re using him or whatever. doesn’t matter to mick though, because he’ll buy things without you even knowing (like yall could be in the same store and he’ll buy you something behind your back just cause he knows you’ll like it). it might get to the point where you have to tell him to stop giving you things cause you feel bad, but he’d just tell you you deserve it and not to worry about it.

ok now I’ve run out of ideas (I told yall I’m not good at this!!) so let’s just get into my streamer au real quick:

- I like to act like mick would have a set schedule for his streams but another part of me thinks he’d start streaming at like 3 in the morning just to play whatever game he wanted to

- he’s the type to ban someone for simply saying something he doesn’t like (guitxrherx: pineapples on pizza is actually good yall just haters!!! “yeah mods can you ban that guy for ten minutes please?”)

- also, the rotty streams really came out of nowhere. one day he was just hella wasted and for some reason turned on the camera and started streaming him just fucking around on his guitar (sounding real sloppy btw) and everyone was so confused, but also intrigued (“wait is bro wasted?”). he wouldn’t have remembered it if his audience didn’t pester him to do it again, thus starting the tradition. then it just evolved to him doing whatever came to his mind first (one time he sprayed fourteen layers of hairspray into his hair and had to get nikki to help him wash it out)

-nikki is like the first person mick calls in the middle of a stream. sometimes, if they’re both streaming at the same time, mick will call nikki to try to derail his stream. nikki could be doing an impromptu music review and all of a sudden his phones ringing and it’s the old man trying to act all innocent like he’s not trying to ruin nikkis stream. of course nikki would go along with it at first, trying to humour mick but then he’d realize he’s got a whole bunch of ppl in the chat making fun of him for letting the old man get to him for like the fifth time that week.

- also ok this is so silly but im just imagining mick trying to play dress to impress but he like never places on the podium and throws a little fit about it lmaooo. he’d complain that all the winners chose basic outfits (as if his isn’t also a bit basic) and then his chat would just cook him about how terrible he’s doing.

- adding onto the last one: imagine if vince was in the same server as him and kept placing first and mick didn’t know who it was. he keeps insulting him, but he’s under the guise that it’s a 12 year old girl so he can’t be entirely ruthless. somehow (maybe vince is also streaming that day) chat gets ahold that it’s vince and they start spamming mick about it. he takes a second to look at all the messages and starts dying of laughter.

(“are you fucking kidding me?! it’s fucking vince?! that little blonde shit and his trash ass outfits are throwing me in last place?! im going to kill him!”)

it just cuts to vince asking his chat if they also hear the screaming coming from the room next to his.

I think I should stop here…this has become quite the yap session! not the best, especially the general headcanons lmaoo if im being honest those aren’t my strong suit! still, I hope you enjoyed these!!

[msfcatlover]

The Public Personas I think each Wayne Kid would get in the Reverse Robins verse

Duke: The easy-going, down-to-earth, reasonable one. Or, perhaps more accurately, the straightman to Bruce’s comedian. Duke’s fond exasperation & surprisingly grown-up attitude as a child made for an excellent counter to Brucie’s bombastic antics, and had plenty of people joking that Duke was the actual parent between the two of them. Seeing the two of them at work is seeing a decade-perfected comedy tag-team in action, and it is a beautiful thing. As Duke grew up, his reputation shifted to being the Chillest Dude (gender neutral) in any given room, and he mastered the sort of subtle, charismatic warmth that makes everyone feel like they’re your best friend. Duke’s one of those celebrities you just want to crack a beer open with and chat about your day, because they seem like they’d be fun to hang out with, y’know? (Which also helps separate him from his hero identities. Duke Thomas? Dress up like a cross between a motorcycle racer & medieval knight in order to speed around downtown, jump off bridges & skyscrapers, and kick the Joker in the face on a biweekly basis? Are you fucking high?)

Damian: Starts out as the acerbic, hotheaded brat. Grows up into Gotham’s favorite Bad Boy With A Heart Of Gold, thanks to both his maintained public attitude & work with helping animals around the world, even after he mostly moves to Bludhaven. (Yes, he rides a motorcycle, wears mostly leather, and has just so many piercings. Most of the piercings are fake, so that they can’t be grabbed in fights; the real ones he almost exclusively wears small studs in. They all come out in preparation for patrol.)

Cassandra: The Ice Queen, so cool & confident that some people genuinely think the family is lying about her selective mutism and it’s just a front so she has an excuse to ignore people. (She is deeply offended by this.) Zero tolerance for bullshit, cutting edge fashionista, single handedly got ASL added as a language course to every school in Gotham, and got plenty of rich jerks to learn if only to know what she was gossiping about with her siblings when they kept glancing over and laughing at everyone else. Universally assumed to be the one who'll take over WE when Bruce retires, despite her complete lack of interest.

Steph: The Wild Child, the only one to follow in Brucie’s footsteps. This was not the persona she wanted but in her society debut gala, something came up and Duke needed a distraction so he could go deal with it. Steph set her shoulders, grabbed a bottle off the snack table behind them, and said, “You got it.” First impressions are everything, and she never could shake that one… not helped by the fact that sometimes, an empty-headed party girl was exactly what they needed to gather information, and Steph had both the reputation to play the part & clout to get wherever she wanted once Bruce fostered her. (After her death, people call it a “downward spiral.” Others counter this with a clip from an interview she gave earlier that year, where Stephanie Brown talked about her hard work in school & the community, and her frustration over her reputation. “Of course it bothers me,” she said, “It bothers me that what I’m wearing matters more than the causes I promote. It bothers me that a few sips of wine outweigh organizing an entire event. It bothers me that flirting with people my own age upsets people more than a fucking shooting in downtown Gotham!” She laughed bitterly. “Is it the hair? Should I dye it? Would that make people take me more seriously?” She turned to look directly into the camera, tears shining in her eyes. “I’m—I’m sixteen. What do you want from me?”)

Tim: Tim starts out as the resident Cool Nerd. He’s friendly, he’s chill, he likes skateboarding & computer games—and also, he GMs on the weekends, he likes to solve math puzzles & write his own algorithms, he knows more about the history of sci-fi than any human has right to. Tim’s the kind of nerd who makes his nerdy hobbies seem cool by association. (Still figuring the rest out, honestly. Since he’s Oracle in this verse, part of me feels like he’d stay out of the public eye more? But another part of me says Tim would make his public persona as loud as possible, so that people think of him beyond his injury. “Bruce Wayne’s Paraplegic Son” is not an identity Tim would ever be okay letting people define him by, I think. I know he does a lot of charity work, and is more open to talking about his challenges than Cass is, in a very “if I tell you upfront, you can’t use it against me (also, maybe someone else needs to hear this)” kinda way. I know he’s still involved in the business world to some degree. I’m just having trouble pinning down how Tim would characterize Timothy Drake-Wayne [post-injury] to the public.)

Jason: Jason is kinda the inverse of Damian, being soft-spoken & seemingly shy until you bring up a cause he cares passionately about. He's very protective of his siblings, and is responsible for about 80% of the "Wayne Kids Spotted! You Won't Believe These Adorable Pictures!" tabloid headlines (Cass & Damian dote on Jason, those candids being one of the only times people get pictures of their "soft sides." Jason also volunteers to help Duke & Tim out a lot, and is often seen trailing after them trying to look professional.) Every woman over 30 in Gotham just wants to pinch his pudgy little cheeks, at least until Jason hits his last growth spurt and comes back from a year abroad looking like an absolute hunk. But still just as humble, just as polite, and just as passionate about helping others. Isn't he just a Big Ol' Marshmallow? (Jason maintains this reputation mainly by biting his tongue & constantly reminding himself if he can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. After every single interview or public event, you can find him down in the cave, ranting to himself about everything that pissed him off and taking it out on the poor training dummies.)

Dick: Started out very surly & private, but all his siblings defended that the poor boy had gone through so much trauma in under a year (losing his parents, being taken from the family he grew up with, and then losing Bruce just a few months later,) that it was only to be expected. They worked hard to keep him protected from the public eye while he was grieving. When little Richie finally made his public debut, Gotham was delighted to discover an energetic Sunshine Child, who wasn't exactly a great listener & was more than a bit of a showoff, but gosh darn if he wasn't the cutest thing anyone had seen in years. (Dick keeps up the shallow-but-cheerful Sunshine act all the way into his adult life, coming the closest out of any of them to having a true Brucie persona as an adult.)

[asmodeusstahl]

So, I have a lot of problems with the latest (sixth) episode of Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I’m just going to start from the beginning and work my way through the episode to the end.

Firstly, the episode title is “We Take A Zebra to Vegas.” Do we *see* a Zebra? For all of two seconds. That’s it. So much for a plot-relevant episode title. It’s a nitpick, sure, but if you’re going to make something an episode title, it should have SOME relevance to the plot. I understand that that’s the only chapter where we see the Lotus Casino, so it makes sense to use that chapter title as the episode title. But is it *really* that much more effort to add a scene featuring Percy and/or Grover chatting with the Zebra? There’s certainly run time and almost certainly budget for it.

Then we get to the casino itself and, as loathe as I am to admit it, the movie did it better without question. Even the smallest of details — like the look and vibe of the casino are done so much better in the movie. The casino is designed to trap children, so it’s filled with water parks, roller coasters, and all that makes a kid lose their mind. We see that in the movie. In the show, it’s just a regular old casino filled with a bunch of adults of all ages. There’s only like 2 or 3 shots where you really see groups of children. And that’s not even mentioning the exterior architecture of it. It’s a nitpick, but the show version doesn’t even look Greek-inspired. In the movie, it’s basically a knock-off Caesar’s Palace with Greek Columns and everything. It’s great. The giant Lotus Blossom with a roller coaster coming out of the side just… isn’t.

Much like with Medusa, all the suspense was just thrown out the window. Once they enter, Grover does the whole “wait, Percy, did your mom read you the Odyssey?” shtick and the trio figures out it’s the Lotus Eaters that Odysseus faced. Consequently, Percy and Annabeth do not lose themselves in the casino. They stay sane the whole bloody time. What annoys me even more about this is that Percy even says as they enter the casino “what if we just chilled here and played some games for a bit.” It got my hopes up that we’d actually see a competent drug trip scene — I was wrong. Annabeth immediately shuts him down and he’s like “yeah, no, I was joking.”

Anyway, they go to look for Hermes. I’m not sure why the fuck Hermes loves hanging out in this casino. The show’s explanation is that he just likes chilling there and nothing more is said on the matter. It feels weird to be that an Olympian would just be chilling in a casino run by monsters without a care in the world. Whatever.

Once they enter, Annabeth decides Grover should split off so they can cover more ground. Um, hello, if you’re trying to cover more ground why not have EVERYONE split off, not just Grover? So Grover goes off on his own, finds a Satyr that used to know his Uncle Ferdinand and starts talking to him about the Search for Pan. The Satyr is like “oh, yeah, Pan. I think I found him here. Come follow me.” Grover follows and eventually forgets who he is (and ends up playing VR). Sure, great, one of the trio lost it, but that doesn’t account for the other two and we really didn’t need to shoehorn more Pan stuff in just for the sake of getting Grover to split off from Percabeth.

Meanwhile, Percabeth have found Hermes and he takes them aside to chat after they mention they’re friends of Luke’s. There’s a few things here that annoy me. Firstly, Hermes lore dumps all of the trauma that is May Castellan — something which doesn’t appear until the 5th book. We could have — and should have, imo — gotten the backstory behind Luke’s failed quest to the Garden of the Hesperides to steal a Golden Apple. The quest he failed when Landon gave him the scar on his face. The quest *Hermes himself* assigned to him. There’s plenty of resentment for Hermes that comes for that — we didn’t need May Castellan. Not yet.

Turns out, Hermes is just stalling them because he doesn’t want to help. Fucking dick. So, Annabeth goes invisible and steals his car keys — which Hermes absolutely knew about. They rescue Grover after a brief spell of forgetfulness. Annabeth reasons that they didn’t lose it like Grover because they were together and it’s harder to forget when you’re with someone. Sure, great. How do you explain the DiAngelos? I highly doubt that Bianca would willingly let Nico wander off on his own. It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

I really hate that the movie casino somehow managed to include Disco Darrin — the kid from the 70s that triggers Percy realizing something is fucked up — and that the show doesn’t. Darrin really helps reinforce the idea that the casino is full of kids out of time, which helps set up the reveal that the DiAngelos were in the casino for 70ish years and didn’t age at all. I hate that the movie did something better, I really do. But it’s just unavoidable when comparing these two scenes.

The trio then “steal” Hermes’ cab, which just so happens to have a letter addressed to the trio that supposedly tells them a back way into the Underworld. We’ll see how that turns out next episode, but I will be UPSET if we don’t get DOA Recording Studious and all that jazz. As soon as Percy (shoddily) drives the trio out of the parking garage, Hermes’ travel magic transports them to the beach in Santa Monica. That’s the one redeeming thing about this episode for me. That’s actually a really cool application of Hermes’ powers as the God of Travelers.

What I do have a problem with, however, is Percy’s experience in the ocean. Instead of meeting Poseidon, as was promised to us, we meet the Nereid from St. Louis. She tells Percy that “surprise, the summer solstice already happened. Poseidon waited for you as long as you could, but now he has to go marshal his forces for war. Go home now, your quest is done.” Um, what? The summer solstice passing makes no sense to me as a creative decision. The solstice is the reason that all the gods were on Olympus when Percy returned the bolt. You can’t expect the gods to just be chilling on Olympus 24/7 especially when war is about to break out.

Plus, you cannot tell me that Zeus wouldn’t have immediately started fucking shit up. His symbol of power was stolen — allegedly — by Poseidon. He’d want that back ASAP. In the book, it’s stated in no uncertain terms that, if Percy+Co. failed, Zeus and Poseidon would be fucking up the weather. Massive storms and natural disasters everywhere. The sky and the sea would be at war with each other. It would be like Armageddon. There’s 0 sign of that. At all.

Then, before Percy leaves, the Nereid gives him *four* pearls. Not three. Four. This takes away Percy having to sacrifice Sally for the sake of the world (even if she comes back eventually). This change just doesn’t make any sense to me. The explanation in the show is that Poseidon cares about Sally. But that makes 0 sense because there’s been an overarching narrative that All Gods Are Bastards. Additionally, even in this episode, Hermes mentioned that it was Poseidon’s advice to stay away from the lives of demigods/their mortal parents. That it’s awful watching them struggle and feel powerless to stop it. Why does Poseidon suddenly have the power to help Sally now? It just… doesn’t make any sense to me.

Another issue I have with this is that if the Nereid is telling Percy to go back to camp, why is she giving him *four* pearls? Assuming a retcon that the pearls transport the user to CHB, there’s no need for four. If Percy is supposed to return to CHB immediately, he doesn’t go to the Underworld to rescue Sally and therefore does not need a fourth pearl. If that isn’t a plot hole, I don’t know what is.

The episode ends with Percy being like “no, I’m seeing this quest through to the end.” Which is great and all, but the teaser for next episode worries me with how much it includes. We’re going to see Crusty’s Water Bed Palace, the Underworld, AND the fight on the beach with Ares. I don’t know how they’re going to fit that all into like 35 minutes of show time (accounting for the “previously on” segment and credits taking up 5 minutes of the 40 minute runtime). Crusty was the obvious cut from this episode so that it doesn’t feel rushed, but it *wasn’t* cut and that worries me.

And, furthermore, I think Crusty is going to have to be heavily modified for the screen. I see no way Disney allows Percy to go full medieval torture and stretch Crusty to death. Which is disappointing, if I’m being honest. It’s really the first indication of how Percy acts when he’s snapped/in the zone. Stuff like summoning hurricanes while fighting or overwhelming the weather barrier at Camp also falls into this category. That’s a nitpick, sure, but whatever.

Look, I didn’t want to be a hater. And I still don’t. I would love to love this show, but the problem with it is the marketing and the writing. It was marketed by Rick and the critics as a “faithful adaptation.” This is not that. This is a rewrite of the book that’s honestly worse than some fanfics I’ve read. Which says a lot because the PJO fanfic community is not known for having well-written works.

And the trio themselves just aren’t clicking as their book counterparts for the most part. Percy, especially, just doesn’t act like Percy. We’re missing his sarcasm and biting humor. It’s not Walker’s fault — anyone who’s watched The Adam Project” knows he can pull it off. Annabeth has lost most of her character development and had that screen time given to Grover. I was alright with it last episode with Ares, but it just did not work with Augustus this episode. The trio just doesn’t feel like the trio and I don’t think it’s the actors’ faults.

Like I said earlier, Walker can absolutely pull off Persass. The script just isn’t letting him do that and that disappoints me. I watched Leah in Beast and absolutely could see the Annabeth in her, but all of her moments and character traits are either being given to Percy and Grover or cut entirely. Taking away our knowledge from the books, we know the least about Annabeth’s character out of the trio. The script just isn’t making her click in my mind as Annabeth like the script in Beast did. I can’t really say much about Aryan, since I haven’t seen him in other works, but I do like that he’s being elevated above comedic relief. So… that’s a good thing, I guess.

Overall, I have a lot of issues with the show. Especially with this episode. I also have a lot of fears with the direction this show is going for the final two episodes and I’m nervous to see where Rick and the writers take this. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.