#funny silmarillion

[melkors-big-tits]

@maironsgreatdepression sent me an ask about the

"COVER THEM UP SLUT" meme

..but Tumblr is being a bitch, so instead of answering normally, I'll do a lil' post about it!

I have actually done this meme before, but that was like a whole Year ago, but I thought that it'd be fun to do again and kinda compare what one year of obsessively drawing the dork lord does to ones skills, so let's jump right in 😘

This is the one year ago one and as you can see Melkors tits ain't as Glorious as they Should be and the hair's a mess, and I'm not yet 100% sure how to draw him so Melkor looks kinda --stiff.😬

But These two! (two so y'all can appreciate the shiny paint that sadly isn't visible in the first picture)

Whoo Boy have I grown as an artist! 🎉🎉

The perspective!👁️👁️

The background!✍️

The face!💖💖

THE TITS!!! 💖💖🍈🍈

Now THAT'S Melkor in his full chested Glory!! 😈😘💖💖💖

[curufiin]

Spin this wheel first to get a Silmarillion character. Yes there are a lot of options.

You don’t get any other choices sorry. No nuance no nothing. Pick one or die (but feel free to elaborate on your choice)

Don’t know who they are? Find them on this list

(Assume there will be no canon consequences, you do not necessarily have to LaCE marry the elf you fuck, and there are no dubious circumstances regarding your choice. inspired by this poll <3)

[talibri]

Turn out if you make enough kids one might turn out looking exactly like their dad

No wonder Sauron had such beef with tyelpe tho

[artist-owl]

oh so when everyone else has a "beach era" it's a fun and funky time but when I, Maglor Fëanorion -

[direful]

been having a normal one lately (revisiting one of my foundational obsessions, you know how it is) so i made a meme about it

[elven-sisters]

I've always wondered if elven children are also annoying? 🤔 Gandalf with little Arwen ✨

[thesummerestsolstice]

Fic Concept: Erestor is Maglor, Lindir is Daeron, and Gildor is Finrod. They all live in Rivendell in the Third Age. They're all using elf magic to try and hide their identities, so they don't recognize each other.

Lindir has heard Galadriel call Gildor kin but assumes that Gildor is like, Finrod's son or something because Finrod would absolutely name a child "Gildor Inglorion."

Erestor has heard Lindir sing some very familiar old Sindarin lays but assumes that he must just know them because of how popuar Daeron's compositions were. Nevermind that many of them are lost to history by the Third Age.

Gildor knows Erestor is Feanorian because he's not as subtle as he thinks but he doesn't really sing around people anymore– because singing the Noldolante for thousands of years straight has made his voice extremely dangerous– so Gildor assumes he's just another old Feanorian follower.

Elrond and Gandalf are making bets about when they'll realize. Elrond bet it would happen before the Fourth Age. It's not looking good for them.

[papita474]

He is talking to himself jajajjs

my contribution to our talk jsjjsj.

@stellavesperis @dfwbwfbbwfbwf The repost were very long so im putting this here lol

[corsairspade]

Halenthir but none of the Finweans believe Haleth is real because they all assume Caranthir made up a spouse so he could leverage his marriage status for tax concessions. Caranthir is extremely mad about this. Haleth thinks it’s hilarious.

[sesamenom]

Gil-galad Variations, featuring all the gil galad theories i've encountered.

[edennill]

people tend to take the curious fact that a lot of the exiles had known morgoth personally in a somewhat humorous way, but that severely undersells the horror of it, and not only in the huge abuse of trust it entailed, imo.

I can't help but imagine how much nervous brain-racking must have followed the revelation of his non-repentance, how many people combing through their every thought and conviction, trying to find any planted by the enemy. and you're not safe even if you didn't have anything to do with him because others had.

just, the knowledge that someone attempted to model you according to his own aims and being unable to tell how far he was successful.

[eglerieth]

Silm!

[bidmoth]

I’ve been debating what the funniest, most fan-fury-inducing thing any hypothetical Silmarillion movie/show could do would be, and I think the answer is to condense the sons of Feanor. There are so many of them! And they aren’t particularly individualized! You could just… cut a few. Who needs seven whole kinslayers? You get get it down to three or four, easy.

[curufiin]

Regarding Feener and the ring:

I believe that Feanor is just such a hater that the Ring, even if it tempts him, ultimately will have zero way of controlling him. Because he thinks he is so much better and smarter than Sauron.

He gets the ring and the moment he learns of its origin he’s like what the fuck is this. This pathetic thing is made by SAURON? Lieutenant of MORGOTH??? Fucking pathetic. Amateur. My SON can do better (background pained Curufin noise). What a shitty excuse of a dark lord.

And then he puts it on and he feels that he is stronger but then his hater grindset immediately takes over because um… an artifact of SAURON? making HIM? FEANARO CURUFINWE, SON OF FINWE AND MIRIEL THERINDE, CROWN PRINCE/KING OF THE NOLDOR, CREATOR OF THE SILMARILS STRONGER? ABSOLUTELY not. he will NEVER EVER EVERRR use ANYTHING from the stink lord. Not when he can do better. Oh yes, he will simply make his own ring. FUCK you Sauron and FUCK your stupid ring and FUCK you earendil.

[quixoticanarchy]

I remember a post pointing out that when ideas in the silmarillion are phrased as “it came into his thought [to do x]” it’s a sign of someone having a very bad idea, as if to distance the foolish actor from the ensuing foolish actions, and amusingly this also holds true vis-à-vis Sauron and Huan - “it came into [sauron’s] thought that he himself would accomplish [huan’s doom]”. villains and others alike all subject to the sudden arrival of really bad ideas in one’s head… truly the text equivalent of a blinking warning sign like “alert alert! bad decision ahead!”

[tommykinard6]

Thinking lately about shipping and fandoms and all that depressing jazz.

And here’s the thing: have we forgotten that shippers regularly take the L? I don’t even know where this belief that we’re being catered to comes from; we regularly and historically wear clown noses.

When did we stop shipping for the sake of shipping and start needing to be correct? Be superior, be the main character?

I feel it’s always been like that a little, but I’ve personally NEVER seen it this bad.

And the sheer entitlement, man.

Listen, I’m not going to disturb my man JRR Tolkien to resurrect him only for the sake of putting Maeglin and Glorfindel together and have him incorporate my headcanons because Maeglin was the king of being misunderstood and really just needs to get dicked down and lovingly held after by Glorfindel, ok??

Cause that’s my headcanon and ship and I have fanfiction for it. Also Tolkien has been dead for 51 slutty slutty years, but that’s beside the point.

I’m not boycotting CoD or throwing a temper tantrum over the fact that Ghost and Soap aren’t having filthy nasty sex and heartbreaking conversations.

I’m not attacking Ewan McGregor and Temuera Morrison for not canonically getting Codywan.

And even in the height of my Buddie days, I never attacked the actors or show runners or female actresses. I’ve certainly had non-gracious thoughts, but I’ve kept it off of social media.

Please hear me out; this is not me saying I’m better than anyone. I’m not. I’m sooooo not. But I’m hoping that others might remember what shipping is about.