#funny horn prank

[prankvids]

Viral Train Horn Prank!! Best of The Train Horn Prank on Public | #shorts

https://PrankVids.com train,horn,viral,train horn prank,the best of train horn prank,loud horn prank,train horn,train horn prank on railway station,shorts fun india,shorts,shorts video,loud train horn prank,prank video,fake train horn prank,updates train horn prank,horn,funny horn prank,update viral train horn prank,viral train horn prank,

[phoenixcatch7]

So there's an actual in game reason you can't get lynel weapons anymore??

So I was looking over the monster statues, just examining the design, when I notice something I'd seen but never really twigged:

Those are nuts and bolts. Huh. That's not natural, that's been added on. In fact, you can still see part of the original scratchy lynel horn from botw underneath, even if it has mutated a bit like all the other horned monsters.

See, lynels, with lizalfos in a lesser way, are the only enemies in the game with the intelligence and cunning to forge weapons. A lizal can only manage one boomerang, shield or bow with varying spikes and occasionally repurpose some hylian armour (and often loot anyway), but lynels are capable of creating their own unique metals and using it to completely outfit themselves. Armour, bows, shields, spears, clubs, and swords, complete with sheaths and harnesses and decoration!

But in totk the particularly pointy ones are missing, leaving only shields, armour, and bows. Their weapons were subject to the Decay as well, but instead of trying to use them anyway, what did they do? They broke down their own weapons and repurposed them as enhancements to their own horns! Extra defence and a new devastating attack!

But... For what reason? They could have kept using those weapons just fine, everyone else is! It probably would have been more practical to start attaching things to the end, like the goblins have all started doing (albeit with mixed results, they seem to inordinately favour mushrooms). Why would the most feared enemy in the game feel the need to put more points into defence and intimidation, even sometimes utilising the rock armour?

What would they be feeling the need to so strongly defend from, even to the point of sacrificing huge attack power over it?

...

Link. It's Link.

The 5 nothing hero of hyrule, who built a whole community of speed running, styling on, brutally murdering lynels almost exclusively again and again and again. Moldugas, hinox, talus, they haven't changed a bit! They weren't at the center of every flashy slow mo clip since the first game came out!

But lynels in totk are running scared, they're building bigger horns to look scarier and armour to hide in, because once they need to get their short range weapons out its already over, or maybe link will just stop farming them for top tear weapons XD.

Tldr: unlike other monsters, which have branched out to kidnapping, riding flying monsters and rolling big spiky balls, lynels have gone entirely the other direction in order to try and scare the hero off after the last round of stylish massacres, and attached their old decayed gear to their horns.

Tldr tldr: botw link is the reason you can't get lynel weapons in totk because he scared them too much.

[therealteslathedog]

Max is planning a very special musical performance for the neighbors tonight

[terminusestfan]

undefined

Funny Air Horn Prank from Espeon and Umbreon.

[cevansbrat0007]

The Slam

Summary: Ari has had a enough of your TikTok foolishness...

Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Bickering, Brat!Reader, Prank Foolishness, References to P in V sex, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Now that you’ve gotten your first TikTok prank under your belt, you found you needed more. It was as if a beast – for lack of better phrasing – had been awoken inside of you. And it demanded that you served the world chaos.

At your man’s expense.

While you’d gone a little bigger the first time around, today you’d decided to dial it back just a touch. Lately you’d been watching videos of women slamming their boyfriend’s and husband’s car door after what seemed to be the most innocent of conversations. 

In retaliation, some of them yelled confused obscenities, or honked horns, others simply appeared content to stew in whatever resentment had already been brewing beneath the surface. 

Regardless, almost all of them were funny. And not only that, but you got the distinct feeling that Ari wouldn’t appreciate it. His truck was precious to him. 

Almost as precious as you. 

This morning you choose to test your luck when Ari is kind enough to drop you by your place so that you can switch out purses and grab your makeup bag before heading out for lunch. You can tell that he doesn’t fully understand the reason you need either of those things. 

In fact, when you told him what you needed, he’d been swift to grunt something to the effect of how you already looked “perfectly good to him as it was”. And although it had made the butterflies in your belly do their special little flutter that was reserved for when you received compliments just from him, you pushed him to make the stop anyway.

In part because you needed those things, but also because you wanted to fuck with him a bit.

“I promise I’ll be super quick.” You tell him, hastily undoing your seatbelt as he pulls up in your driveway. 

“Still don’t get why you needed to come here.” Your bounty hunter was hungry, and therefore also a little grumpy. “You’re already the prettiest little thing I’ve ever set my eyes on without all the extra froufrou shit.”

“You would really have me walk into a restaurant with you with a bare face?”

“Baby, real talk, I’d be proud to have you on my arm if you were wearing nothing but a paper bag.” Comes his quiet, but sincere rebuttal. 

It’s enough to make you melt.

 “You’re sweet.” 

“Uh huh.” He huffs, throwing his truck in park. “And women are weird. Besides, all that makeup looks better on my pillow anyway.”

“Pretty sure you’re not supposed to call us weird. Could’ve sworn you were supposed to be intrigued by the feminine mystique.” You tell him, poking him in the ribs for good measure.

“Weird.” Ari huffs again, clearly not moved by your response.  

“Mystique – you jerk.” Feeling slightly miffed, you decide to steal a sip of his water. 

“Can you please just go get the bag and war paint before I waste away from hunger?” You bat his hand away when he leans forward to open your door and usher you out his vehicle. “My stomach is literally trying to eat itself and you wanna fuckin’ argue.” 

“I am capable of opening it myself, thank you very much.” You hiss without any real heat before grabbing the handle.   

“Then I would very much appreciate it if you did that so we can get this show on the road.”

“Okay, okay.” You finally relent. “I’m sorry. Gimme a kiss and I’ll go–”

Ari’s mouth is on yours so fast it’s almost comical. He cups your face with calloused hands, stroking his thumbs across your temples as he does. But unfortunately, just as you’re about to sink into the kiss, he pulls away.

“Now get.” He growls, before opening the door and effectively shooing you out. 

“Fine.” Climbing out of his truck, you decide that this is your moment. “Be right back.” Closing your eyes, you give it up to the Lord before slamming Ari’s door hard. 

Actually a little harder than you intended. Ah, well. 

Grimacing, you begin to half walk, half run for your front door. After all, there was such a thing as being too brave for this world. And you’d actually felt his vehicle rattle with the force with which you’d put behind it. There was no way this man would not respond. There was no way–

“Aye!” Your shoulders automatically hunch of their own volition when you hear him throw open his own door in protest. You haven’t even made it to the front porch. ”The hell was that about?”

“What?” You try to play dumb.

“Bird. Stop.” 

It’s the calm authority in his voice that has you freezing in your tracks. It’s the same reason your panties are soaked too. Teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you turn around and face Ari.

“What–”

“I’m gonna need you to walk your pretty little ass back over here, baby.” He quirks a tawny brow when your legs don’t immediately start moving. “Now.”    

“Beast, I need to go inside and–”

“Ass. Here. Now. Please.” Ari tacks on the last word when he sees you frown. However, the frown stays in place as you march back over to where he’s standing, or now leaning, against the side of his truck.

“Thank you.” He grunts before cupping your cheek, drawing you forward. “Now, is there a reason you’re out here slammin’ my shit and spikin’ my blood pressure? Does this have somethin’ to do with that whole feminine mystique business again?”

As he talks, you find it hard to resist the urge to run your fingers through his newly shorn beard. You’d hung out in the bathroom with him this morning while he trimmed it, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and one of his shirts. 

“No.” You breathe, your nostrils flaring when that same hand moves, gently lacing itself around your throat.

“You pissed at me for somethin’?” His electric blue eyes search yours for answers.

“Um…nope.” 

“You tryin’ to pick a fight?”

“Also no.” You tell him as your hand comes up to wrap around his thick wrist. “It was a joke I saw on TikTok and–.”

“Christ, I’m gonna stop you.” Ari blinks twice before forcing himself to take a deep breath. “Since you and I don’t have a problem, I’m gonna let you go inside and fetch your things. You have five minutes, or I’m comin’ in after you.”

“To do what?” You can’t help the pout that forms on your lips. Sometimes this man really had no sense of humor. “Because I‘m gonna need more time than that to put on my face.”

The look this man gives you lets you know that you are absolutely trying his patience – every last piece of it. 

“You got five minutes.” Ari repeats, his thumb stroking over your pulse point. “Or I’m gonna come in there and personally take my time making sure all that makeup ends up in its proper place where it belongs.” 

“But that’s not fair!”

“Neither is subjecting me to shit you see on that damned hickory dickory dock crap you watch all the time, and yet here we are.” He leans down to brush his lips against your forehead. “Now go.”

Ari finally releases you before pulling out his phone, and it takes him only a second for him to show it to you, letting you see that he’s started a timer. And it is quickly counting down. 

“You got five minutes, sweetheart.” He winks at you then, before breaking into full blown laughter when you turn to make a break for your front door. “Otherwise I’m comin’ in after you, and it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be.” 

Forget the purse. You decide you’re better off snagging the makeup and beating it back to the truck before the timer strikes zero.   

“Bastard.” You grumble under your breath – which only makes him laugh harder.

“You just lost yourself thirty seconds for that one. Better run, Bird.” 

END

Unofficial Tag List

@katymae12344 @identity2212 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @blackhawkfanatic @jamneuromain @queerqueenlynn @pono-pura-vida @daykrisr999 @jamneuromain @ninacutebee16 @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @emerald-writes @gh0stgurl @blogbog710 @sincerelytlh

[itssliyahhxoxo]

Prank wars

(𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐆𝐄 𝐗 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑)

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: reader does this https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNDEHGrM/ prank on Paige.

You set up your phone on the side of the car door hiding it with some old water bottles, “alright I’ll be back” you gave Paige a kiss before getting out the car and slamming the car door. You laughed to yourself when you got a glimpse of her face as you walked towards the store.

You paused turning around back to the car pretending you forgot what she wanted “what do you want again” you asked opening her door “Doritos and a Gatorade” she replied with a frown “ok” you smiled before slamming the door again you walked back to the door about to open it but turned back around.

And walked back to the car “ which Doritos, the blue bag or the red?” You asked. Paige just looked at you shocked “t-the red bag, are you ok” she asked “yeah, why” you smile trying not to laugh “because you keep slamming the door” she told you “oh I’m sorry, I’ll be back” you gave her a quick kiss and slammed the door even harder behind you.

Before you could even get to the door Paige honked the car horn making you laugh “come here yo”. you fixed your face before turning around and walked back to the car “what’s your problem, you’re gonna break the car bro” she told you her face slightly red.

“I didn’t mean to I’m sorry” you say trying not to laugh “just don’t slam the door again, ok” she asked “ok” you smiled. Yet again you walked away slamming the door laughing to yourself, you let got a yell when you were thrown over someone’s shoulder.

You realized it was Paige and started giggling, she opened the passenger side and sat you down “I’ll go get the stuff, sit here and don’t move” she ordered. Before you could answer she slammed the door and walked into the store you started laughing finally breaking character.

She stomped back to the car and slammed the car door shut, she placed the bag in the back seat and looked back to you to see you laughing “what’s so funny” she asked. You picked up your phone and pointed it at her “it was a prank” you laughed (😐) her face 😭.

“You get on my nerves” she shook her head starting the car “but you love me” you smiled “that I do” she smiled at you pulling you in for a kiss.

Comments

@azzi35: I’ve never seen Paige so confused 😭

@yourfave_kk: damn girl you strong.

^

@paigebueckers: fr bro she almost broke the window 💀

@icecube: now I know not to piss you off, you are to strong 💪🏽.



[pastelalleycat]

"It's-For-You!" Talking Telephone Toy

Ring... ring... ring... it's for you!

Transcripts below!

Eddie

[The phone rings once before it is picked up.]

Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! How can I help you today?

[Silence.]

...Hello? Is anybody there? ...Should I say the jingle again? Okay-

[Eddie clears his throat.]

Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! Do you need stamps? I got ‘em! Envelopes and paper? You bet! Markers, crayons, glue, glitter, tape, staples- [Takes a deep inhale to catch his breath.] I got that too!

[Silence.]

[Mumbling] ...I’m starting to think nobody’s there… Wait… I can’t remember if the phone was ringing… Maybe I was going to make a phone call... But who would I call? Well, if you’re there… Uh… Have a good day!

Barnaby

[The phone rings three times. Then it picks up.]

Hello? Hellooo?

[Silence.]

Is this a prank call, kid? Listen, I got a better joke for you- What did the bee say to the flower? I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there! What do I look like, a BEE’s-dropper?

[Rimshot and horn honk. Barnaby laughs. Silence follows.]

….Not even a chuckle? Boy, tough crowd! Hey, you can’t blame a guy for phoning it in! How about you call me back when you got something funny to say too, little buddy! Buh bye!

Howdy

[The phone is answered in the middle of the first ring.]

You’re calling Howdy’s Place! The home of everything you need and everything you don't! Howdy Pillar at your service!

[Silence.]

...Hello? Hello! Listen, pal, time is jokes and if I’m not laughing then I don’t have time! ...Actually, I do have plenty of time in stock, it’s in aisle two next to the bananas. But …I call ‘em cuckoo clocks!

[Howdy laughs at his own joke, but it becomes softer and more embarrassed as the silence follows.]

...Alright, alright! You’re giving me nothing to work with, buddy! I only deal in funny business and it looks like you’re runnin’ low, pal! So long! You get it? Like a caterpillar! Haha!

Poppy

[The phone rings twice before it is abruptly picked up.]

Hello, this is the Partridge nest- Or I mean, this is Poppy!

[Silence.]

…Hello? Dear? Are you there? I can’t hear you if you’re speaking! Maybe it is my connection- Oh my feathers, a telephone is so difficult to work with- So many buttons!

[The sounds of shuffling, squawks and noises of tutting can be heard.]

Oh my goodness! I- Oh no, I’ve dropped the telephone on the ground I- Gracious me, there’s birdseed everywhere! I- I will call you back, whoever this is! Oh- My feathers are full at the moment! Don’t worry about me! Have a pleasant day deary-

[A panicked squawk is heard followed by a loud thud. The phone call abruptly ends.]

Frank

[The phone rings once before it’s answered.]

Hello, this is Frank Frankly speaking.

[Silence.]

...Hello? … Are you there?

[Silence.]

...Is this Julie? This had better not be another game you’re playing! …Oh no, is this a prank call? Is this Barnaby!? Well, I have a prank for you too, you jokester! A lesson!

[Frank clears his throat.]

Did you know butterflies have their own way of sleeping? It’s not so much sleeping as it is having a rest ! It is always done with their eyes open, too! They also like to rest under leaves as a means of protection from dew or rain drops! Better yet, to hide from larger creatures with an appetite! A bit like you and those horrible hot dogs you love so much.

[Silence. Frank huffs loudly in annoyance.]

Well, whoever this is, I’ll have you know I have better things to do than wait for you to respond! Good bye!

Sally

[The phone barely has a chance to ring once before it is picked up.]

Hellooo! You’re talking to the brightest and most stupendous superstar this side of the neighborhood! Sally Starlet!

[A triumphant 'ta-da!' jingle, followed by silence. Sally whispers her next sentence.]

…I said ‘Hellooo!’ That’s your cue!

[Silence.]

…What’s wrong, do you have stage fright? I know, I know, having a star for a neighbor can be so intimidating! She’s so terrific, you’re probably thinking! Phenomenal, staggering, breathtaking- I’m taking the words right out of your mouth, I bet!

[Silence. Sally sighs softly.]

Well, parting is such sweet sorrows, but I must shine my brilliance elsewhere! Why don’t you call me back when you don’t have such cold feet, hm? Farewell!

Julie

[The phone rings once, but in the middle of its second ring the phone is answered.]

Hello? [LOUDER] Hello!!

[Silence.]

...Hey, are you playing some kind of game? Well- I want to play too! Okay, let’s go on the count of three! One… Two… Three!

[Silence.]

…I don’t know how to play this game. ...Oh, I know what to do! We’ll make a new game! [Frantically spoken] We’ll need a jump rope, some chalk, a dice, a sandwich- I’ll call it… quiet sandwich jump rope! I better get everything ready, Frank’s going to love this game! Okay, bye bye!

Wally

[A long period of silence follows before three rings are heard. A pause follows even as the phone is answered before the sound of a heart beat can be heard below the ambient noise. This audio track constantly raises and lowers as it proceeds.]

Hello? Hello? Helloooo? … Ha Ha Ha...I’m only kidding. I know you’re there.

Did you like my joke? ...I think you were going to say... Yes! …Ha Ha Ha… You know… It is hard to hear you think through this funny phone of mine. It is as though you aren’t speaking at all. Maybe it is just a little fuzzy… Like me. Speaking of…

[The heart beat and ambience stop abruptly.]

...Do you know who I am?

[The heart beat and ambience resume.]

[Gasp.] Oh no. Well that’s not neighborly at all. We’ve never met before. But don’t worry. Even though you and I haven’t spoken before, I’ve seen you... Every time you have looked into my eyes. I want to know… What did you see?

[Silence.]

I hope you saw a friend, but I’m not sure you saw a name... Stand still. Let’s start over. Ring ring ring. Click. Hi, I’m Wally. I’m so happy to finally meet you, I think you’re the absolute most.

[Silence.]

Uh oh, I have to go now. Everyone is probably thinking about that strange phone call. It is funny to think about. …Ha ha ha… Don’t worry though, neighbor, it will be a little joke between you and me. You have to go too. You have work to do. Remember, until you hear me again, keep your smile merry and always know that I love you very much.

Good bye.

[diejager]

Hello hellooooooo

I hope you are doing great !!

(I was waiting patiently for your requests to be open again lmao)

So, my brain was just thinking of something for monster!141 and I just need to share it somewhere 😵‍💫

As you may know, penguins' love language is giving pebbles to their loved ones

Penguin hybrid!Hunter just giving monster!141 pebbles and little rocks to show them that they love them 🥹

Alright, I'll go back to my knitting now BYE

*gets out by the window with a parachute*

Pebbles Cw: weird courting, tell me if I missed any.

You didn’t have any noticeable differences to a human, having the appearance of any human with a some quirky and funny behavioural traits that all of them enjoyed. You had your moments of oddity, but you didn’t seem that far from a human, having no tail, ear or horns, your skin as smooth and soft as any. They dropped their suspicions of you being a hybrid, a monster or even an inter dimensional creature of some unknown source.

And somehow, they find small trinkets - small, round pebbles picked out of a bunch to be perfectly rounded, smooth edges and glistening under the light, and sticks, long and robust, but small enough to sneak into the base without being caught - placed in the areas they often found themselves frequenting.

Price would find a cluster of pebbles on his desk, arranged neatly in a ring, a curious little thing that he shrugged off, putting them away for the time he’d be able to catch the culprit red handed in the act. Price chucked it up to being Soap and Gaz pulling a prank on him, an unsuspecting and benign trick for a little laugh between them, he didn’t bother with it too much.

Ghost found his small collection of sticks and rock on the books he liked to read, placed near the corner of his desk in his office, the arrangement was neither crude nor clean, it was a chaotic abstraction that he didn’t understand.He didn’t know what to make of it, no one would be brave enough - stupid enough - to pull something like this on him and on his stuff without knowing the risks they put themselves in.

Soap and Gaz had a few placed that belonged to them alone, like their rooms or their locker in the armoury, small areas that everyone knew was theirs. Gaz was the first of the two to find flowers and pebbles in the top compartment of his locker, picked with utmost care to keep the petal from bending. Soap found his collection of sticks and flowers stitched in a pretty crown placed around the collar of his vest, a little present full of romance and adoration. Both of them couldn’t help but find this weird act endearing.

Until Price saw you rush out of his office, a sweet, love-filled smile plastered on your face as if you’d been given the miracle of your life. If he pushed the thought farther, he could almost see a little tail wagging behind you, oh so overzealous and overjoyed with something you did. Peaked by it, he looked into his room and caught the bright petals of a daisy gently placed in the middle of a wreath of stick. He looked at it with a renewed aww and curiosity, feeling your affection roll of your intricate design, made and catered to him as if you’d made each and every single one of his boys a little courting gift-

It was an instinctual courting behaviour seen in monsters and hybrids alike. It stopped him in his tracks, causing him to question himself and your file, he’d been sure that you were human through and through, holding not a single ounce of monster blood in your veins, you’d done tests. Tests, he had to remind himself that these tests were - despite being physical and DNA tests - noted down if the recipient had any traits deemed worthwhile, something useful in the minds of a battle or in a dogfight.

That would give reason to some missing holes in your file, the little things that made you so charmingly you in every aspect was missing from your papers, reserved for people who came to know you. It warmed his heart, to see you so comfortable with them that you ended up forging such strong, emotional connections that you started giving them gifts. He’d have to take it up with the other boys, tell them what he just found out: your little, courting gifts, your hybrid roots that they could explore and your lovable smile when you’d successfully given your gift, and see where they would go from there.

Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @yeetusspagheetus @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @angelcakes-22 @cassiecasluciluce @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @ki-cant-spel @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-noora @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @mul-pi @danielle143 @virginalsacrifice @beau-min @makayla-666 @urfavsunkissedleo @mixplara @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @luvecarson @petwifed @aldis-nuts @randominstake @stay-088 @heartelysia @jggykhug09090 @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi

[eyebagshawty]

Did you get a request? It's Headcanons + Blurbs for Being Taken Care of/Washed by Tav for Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor. Thanks!

Headcanons + Blurbs for Being Taken Care of/Washed by Tav (Part 2)

A/N: Every picture is from Pinterest (y’all are artists I swear!), as well as the ones in part one. If you recognize one that is yours, please let me know and I will credit you.

Characters: Dammon, Rolan, Zevlor

Part 1

Dammon

• You and Dammon had been flirty ever since meeting in the grove

• At Last Light, you finally get the courage to offer washing up with him in hopes you might become something more than good friends

• When you ask, he genuinely thinks you’re pranking him

• Like genuinely

• “Very funny, Tav. Now did you need something??”

• “Dammon, I’m serious. You’re telling me a little massage wouldn’t be a great gift for repairing Karlach’s heart?” You motion your fingers in the shape of a heart with a cheeky grin plastered on your face

• When he realizes you aren’t kidding, the wine he’s been sipping spews onto the ground

• His blush is furious, his eyes are like saucers, and his mouth is clamped shut

• “That would…. That would be nice,” he mumbles shyly, “Just tell me when and where and I’ll meet you.” His fingers brush against yours and he’s SO SHY as he walks back to the bar

You draw a bath in the massive tub in the private room Jaheira let you stay in. You hear a curt knock at the door, and tighten your robe. “Astarion I swear if you want food after so clearly declining earlier I swea-“. As you open the door ready to give the vampire spawn a piece of your mind, you’re met face to face with Dammon, who is sporting a very bewildered expression. Your face goes beet red and your mouth promptly closes.

He gives a light chuckle at the embarrassment on your face. “Just finished up work for the day, who knew so many harpers break their weapons so often?” You step to the side and to let him in, and he looks at your surroundings; your laid out armor and evening clothes, your journal that sits on the bedside table, and the long sword he’d gifted you (he really was down bad, he thought to himself) after you’d defeated the goblin camp.

When he looks back over to you, you’re already submerged in the hot water, looking shyly his way. Without a word passing through both of your lips, but an entire conversation being passed through eyes, he slowly undresses as you watch. The tension could be cut with a knife. He slides into the tub, and you take his hand in yours. “I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, Dammon… ever since this tadpole debacle started.”

His tail involuntarily flicks to wrap around your waist, his eyes widening as he tightens his grip on your hand. “I feel the same, I never thought my time in Avernus would lead me to you,” he whispers as he leans closer to you, his lips hovering over yours. Just when they’re about to meet, you smile teasingly and move away, grabbing the provided soap and tenderly scrubbing around his horns. He moans softly as he brings you closer to him, his hands wrapping around your waist. “Darling… is this okay? With you?” His voice is breathy as you continue to wash and work out soap in his hair.

“Of course it is,” you whisper back, and you press a soft peck to his lips. He instantly melts as you continue to scrub soap into his shoulders and back, kissing your arms, your chest, anywhere he can reach.

Rolan

• You and Rolan had already been together at the tiefling party, so his face morphs into a smug smirk when you offer to wash up with him at Last Light

• “Well, future hero of Baldur’s Gate, back for more?” His tail wraps around your calf and you shoot him a playful glare as your cheeks burn and your heart flutters

• Karlach and Shadowheart are just grinning smugly from across the room, and you try to ignore it but his tail yanks your leg a bit, and you stumble into his arms

• “Trip over something, hero?”

• You swat at his chest, “Wouldn’t you like to know wizard boy, go find an orb to ponder,” you huff out

• He squeezes your cheeks together and chuckles, “Give me ten minutes, darling. I’ll be there.” And with that you promptly run away to Shadowheart and Karlach who bombard you with questions

As you wait in your room, the bath filled with hot water and the scent of rose oil lingering in the air, you think about the time you’d spent with Rolan over the course of your journey. Complimenting him on his apprenticeship after convincing him to stay in the grove, having sex at the celebration after defeating the goblins, and how he’d insulted you when Cal and Lia went missing. You’d say your relationship with him was complicated — you didn’t even know if he liked you really.

With a sharp knock on your door you bolted up and answered. “Hello princess, the most talented wizard of this generation is hence at your service.” You chuckled at his cockiness.

“Hello to you too Rolan, come in, please.” As you stepped aside to let him in, he placed his hand on your hip to move by, his lips surprisingly close to yours as his tail swished back and forth. He looked down to your lips, back to your eyes, and kept walking. He immediately stripped down his robes, only to laugh at your beet red face.

“What’s the matter hero? You’ve seen me before,” he laughed. However, you could see an inkling of softness in his eyes and a small blush darkening his cheeks. You roll your eyes and begin to remove your medium armor. Rolan sees you struggling a bit and comes up behind you, pressing your back against him as he undoes the clasps. The room is quiet, but boy oh boy if your heart isn’t SINGING. You both sink into the tub, and you begin to lather soap into his horns. He moans softly as you continue scrubbing into the base of his horns, gathering water into a pitcher and washing soap away. “I’m sorry about everything I said when you first got here, darling.”

Your motions pause but a moment in surprise, but you continue with the performance of nonchalance, rubbing soap across his shoulders and chest. “Oh yeah?” As you reach to scrub at his back, his hand grabs your wrist and he kisses it.

“Yes. I was out of line out of fear and you didn’t deserve it. I… care about you.” You give him a beaming smile and throw your arms around him, the water sloshing around and onto the floor. He kisses the crown of your head, rubbing his hands across your back. “That’s a mess I am not cleaning up, by the way.”

Zevlor

• You offer to wash up with him at the celebration after defeating the goblin camp, and like Dammon, he also thinks you’re messing with him

• “You’re drunk, little one. You did wonderfully and I’m so proud, but you definitely need your rest.” He places his hand on your lower back to steady you, looking anywhere but into your eyes

• You put your hand on his chest and giggle, “Sorry I just… wanted to get to know you better,” you keep drunkenly laughing and like,,, the man thinks he might combust when he realizes you’re dead serious

• Your eyes widen when his tail unconsciously wraps around your thigh, squeezing lightly in eager affection

• IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE THIS MAN HAS FELT WANTED PLEAAASSEEE

• He leans down and whispers softly into your ear, “Meet me at the river once the party has died down, my dear.” And with one last squeeze his tail pulls away and he walks back into the crowd flustered as all hells

When the campfire is snuffed out and most people are off in their own bedrolls or having huddled conversations, you make your way to the shore. You dig your feet into the soft sand and remove your evening clothes, letting your hair fall free from its practical braid. You make your way into the water, submerging your head and sighing with relief. When you look back to the shore you see Zevlor, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging in awe.

You give him a warm smile and beckon him towards you. He grins shyly in return, his tail flicking wildly behind him in excitement that he tries to suppress. He removes his armor and strides into the water towards you. He gathers you so that you’re floating in his lap, and ohmygod he’s nervous. You kiss his cheeks and get to work on his horns and his hair, his tail involuntarily wrapping affectionately and protectively around your waist.

“I can’t tell you how thankful I am darling… not many people are willing to help us infernal creatures,” he whispers, but he spits out the word infernal bitterly. You stroke his cheek tenderly with your thumb.

“Don’t say stuff like that. You deserved our help through and through, and I wanted to help you. Whatever my companions thought be damned,” you whisper back, “How hard is it for you to see that I care for you?” You kiss his temple and hover so that your lips are ghosting over his. He lets out a quiet sob, tears streaming down his face at your kindness. He eagerly presses his lips to yours, his hands grabbing anywhere they can touch. You kneed your fingers into his hair and moan softly. When you pull away he whines, his tail squeezing around your waist.

“Thank you.” You kiss his cheeks once more and continue rubbing soap into his warm skin, brushing away each of his tears as you work.

[kriscommitscrimes]

IN-DEPTH CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF KRIS(MAS) DREEMURR

Hello! I've wanted to make this post for a WHILE now, since Kris is my favourite character ever, and I LOVE analyzing characters!!

Anyway before I start just remember that people consume media differently, and this is just what I've personally picked up on. You may interpret certain points I make differently to me, and that's ok! I'm just sharing MY analysis of Kris, at the end of the day, they're a character who has never spoken any dialogue that's visible to us, so their intentions behind certain things could be interpreted differently depending on who's consuming the media.

Kris will be EXCLUSIVELY referred to by they/them (they/them/themself specifically) pronouns throughout this post. If you refer to them as anything other than they/them while interacting with this post I'm gonna block you on the spot sorry.

ANALYSIS BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S LONG!!! TW there's probably some swearing I can't remember

By the way, I'm not including any screenshots because I. forgot to take them last time I played through Deltarune, but the next time that I do, I'm going to make like a revamped version of this post with screenshots. Sorry about that!!

Kris is their own, separate character from the player. This is a no-brainer if you've actually played through Deltarune and paid the slightest bit of attention to it. Kris is their own, separate character with a VERY distinct, interesting personality, who had a life before the events of Deltarune, and even still has control over some things that they say and do while in our control.

Kris isn't actually a quiet person. Kris, in reality, is an overdramatic, sassy, talkative person who often draws attention to themself by scaring people (especially Noelle), and causing scenes. They CONSTANTLY play mean spirited pranks on Noelle or pressure her into things (I'm NOT talking about Snowgrave, I'll get to thar later), like shaking the ferris wheel carriage despite Noelle being scared of heights, and telling her that ICE-E is real and eats kids. They still do this during the events for Deltarune, like if you go against Noelle's wishes and pet the cheese, Kris strokes it like a cat, and if you give Noelle a healing item called a Choco Diamond, she says something along the lines of 'Umm, it's ok, Kris, I'll share', and both of them get healed. We don't choose for Kris to force Noelle to share, that's a decision they make. As for drawing attention to themself, the first thing that comes to mind is they falling to the ground and sulking when they're too short and weak to play Queen's arcade machine, or them barking at Noelle when she offers them a dog treat. They're loud and impulsive, shown when they eat the pie at the end of chapter one, repeatedly kicking the robot in the basement when nothing happens originally before the Sneo fight, eating all of the chocolate Undyne gives them to give to Alphys if you interact with the box, and screaming that they're normal if you call Toriel after watching her conversation with Alphys at the start of chapter two. Speaking of which...

Kris seems to have identity issues. This is one of the things here that everyone in the fandom is kind of already aware of, but this is a full character analysis, so it's still important to mention. Kris is the only human in Hometown, but desperately wants to be perceived as normal. They scream it at Toriel like I mentioned earlier, they wore a headband with red horns on it when they were little to look more like a boss monster, and they seem actively disgusting or even frightened by other humans. They also seem to be living in their brother's shadow a bit, which may be why they like drawing attention to themself. Everything I've said about their personality seems to be a little on the negative side so far, but everyone in Hometown knows their name, and seems to quite like them, so why is this? Well...

Kris is charming, well-spoken, and funny. They're a prankster known for pulling mean-spirited pranks on people, but even still characters like Noelle look back at those things fondly, and everyone in Hometown seems to like spending time with Kris. Kris' flirting abilities are pretty obvious, and are used to win over loads of Darkners, not to mention their ability to formulate a compelling speech on the spot, as shown during the first Queen battle when toasting to her. They easily win people over, especially if they like a person, I mean, they became best friends with their former bully in a DAY! A DAY!!! People seem to find them just genuinely fun to hang around, probably due to them just being a funny, charming, somewhat balls of the walls kinda person.

Kris is NOT evil or malicious. This is one of the most important points I've wanted to make on this post. I've seen the theory that Kris is evil because they don't actively do anything to prevent Snowgrave from happening tossed around and I'm here to say that that is actually fucking stupid sorry. Normally I HATE being mean about people's theories because, like I said, everyone consumes media differently, but that one is just genuinely terrible. I'd say it's WAY more likely that as Noelle gets strong, out control over Kris becomes stronger. Normally, when we choose an option to make Kris say or do something, they ELABORATE on that, which is confirmed by how characters interact with them. We just can't see them speaking to give the illusion that they're a blank slate, under our full control. But, during Snowgrave, they just say EXACTLY what you tell them to say. If you tell them to say 'We're something else', they just say 'We're something else'. If you tell them to say 'Proceed', they just say 'Proceed'. Sure, you could put this towards them not caring, but after Berdly is frozen and you reunite with Ralsei and Susie, both of them say that Kris looks HURT. And later on, they REFUSE to go and see Noelle in her room. The refuse to THINK about it. They're not happy with what happened. They didn't want to go around freezing people. But the one thing that Really stood out to me, was during the Snowgrave Spamton Neo fight. Near the end, you have the option to call Ralsei and Susie for help, which prompts the flavour text; 'Kris called for Susie and Ralsei... But nobody came'. After that, you have to call Noelle for help to finish the battle, which prompts the dialogue; 'You called for Noelle'. Spamton states that Kris could barely whisper her name. They're trying to stop you from calling for her. Those aren't their words. I think that kind of confirms that they didn't want Snowgrave to happen. Kris is just a funny teenager with identity issues, they're not evil. Sorry evil Kris fans.

Kris probably isn't the Roaring Knight. They're A knight, but not THE knight. So far, they don't REALLY have any motivation for opening the first two fountains that I'm aware of, and I doubt they knew they could open a fountain until Queen's speech at the end of Chapter 2. At the end of Chapter 2, however, they do seem to have a motivation to open a fountain. They (presumably) slash Toriel's tyres to stop her from leaving the house to go and get flour. They want her to see the Dark World. And if you choose the option to talk to Undyne about the Dark World, Kris explains it to her in FULL DETAIL, but she brushes it off as a joke. Toriel finding her tyres slashed leads her to call the guards, and Kris leaves the door of the house wide open. They want Undyne to see the Dark World, I don't know WHY, but they do for some reason. But I REALLY doubt they're the Roaring Knight, they just don't have the motivation, and if it is them, it would be really weird for Toby to reveal that so early. I really doubt that kid wants to bring on the end of the world.

That's all I have for now!! Expect a more fleshed out version of this next time I play Deltarune with screenshots and such, though I may wait until chapter 3 and 4 come out! Thanks for reading!

[prankvids]

Car Horn Pranks || Scare Cam Show #39

https://PrankVids.com car,horn,pranks,puro fail,puro fail show,puro fail scares,scare prank,scare cam,scare cam prank,prank,pranks,funny,pranks to scare,scare cam video,frights,epic scare cam,favorite scare pranks,pranks show,scare cam show,scares show,best pranks to scare,car horn pranks,air horn pranks,funny air horn pranks,funny car horn scares,car horn scare cam,air horn scare cam,funniest…

[dragon-ascent]

The Prank

Rex Lapis thinks he's the subject of a prank. Centuries later, he learns the truth.

★彡use of 'wife' but gn reader, april fool's special except it's more heartwarming than funny

Rex Lapis is taking a stroll through the harbor when it happens.

A cloud of dust followed by a beam of light, and then he sees you running toward him almost at the speed of sound. At first, Rex Lapis is on his guard, but when he sees that you are weaponless and wear a huge grin on your face, his brow furrows.

You are dressed funny, your somewhat tight clothing a stark contrast to the loose hemp outfits the people of Liyue like to dress themselves in. A foreigner, perhaps? You don't look like you are from around here.

Coming to a stop mere inches from him, you gaze at him with the light of a million dancing stars in your eyes. Mirth, pure mirth at the sight of him. "Hi Zhongliiiiii!"

Rex Lapis turns around, assuming you must be talking to someone behind him, but notices how your ecstatic gaze is fixed on him alone. Who..?

"Oh, that's right! Silly me! You're Rex Lapis!"

"That I am," the archon affirms, relieved that he wasn't standing between you and someone he had failed to see. How embarrassing if that were the case. "Is there any way I may help...oh-!"

You're circling him, oohing and ahhing at everything about him - his attire, his horns, his tail, and you make a comment about his hairstyle and face remaining largely unchanged. He doesn't understand it, but this kind of attention on him makes him feel slightly...flustered.

"Oh my gosh, you are so cool!" you exclaim when you're done appraising him, bouncing on your heels excitedly. "I wanna put you in a jar and shake you around!"

Rex Lapis blinks, unsure how to respond. Finally, he says, "While I may be able to change my form at will to be able to fit in a jar, I doubt I would like being shaken around violently."

You giggle, and Rex Lapis feels slightly warm inside. Something tells him you should feel familiar to him, but his photographic memory tells no lies - he has never met you before.

"Well, that aside, do you want to know who I am~?" you ask, leaning close so that your face is a breath away from his. This proximity is ballsy on your part, but the archon, curiously, doesn't mind it one bit.

"I do, please enlighten me."

He didn't think your smile could get any wider, but he was wrong. You beam. "I'm your wife, silly!"

Wife..?

Rex Lapis opens and closes his mouth, wondering how on his green earth this could be. Clearly, you are mad. You are mistaking him for someone else, surely...but how many other Rex Lapises are out there?

He manages to form some words. "I...I am afraid I do not follow."

Laughter erupts from your lips. "It's quite simple really! You and I got married, so we are husband and wife!"

"I am aware that is how marriage functions," Rex Lapis says slowly, "but I do not recall ever binding myself to such an important contract with anyone, mortal or not."

You snort. "Well, like it or not, we do share a bed and live our lives together! And we are suuuuuper in love! You'll see! Bye, I love you!" And with that, you pat his butt and skip away.

He is still processing the fact that you patted his butt to notice that you've disappeared completely. Shaking his head, he assumes this is what mortals must call a 'prank,' one of their many ways of making merriment.

*****

Zhongli awakens from an unexpected nap one afternoon, and calls to memory that incident all those centuries ago... yes, something interesting had happened that day.

He looks down at you, his wife, sleeping so peacefully in his arms.

Smiling, he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead.

[leviathans-watching]

om m.list ━ brothers (part 1)

[back] | [part 2]

➳ edit 7/11/23: i hit 100 links on here, so everything posted on/after this date will be found in part 2!!

cupping their cheeks

awkward/embarrassing situations they've been in

sleeping/waking up with them (includes dateables)

dancing with them (includes dateables)

how they confess to you

"you were mean to me in my dream" (includes diavolo)

choosing the 'parent' tiktok trend (includes diavolo & barbatos)

chill mc (includes barbatos & simeon)

mc's afraid of bugs

mc doesn't celebrate their birthday (includes dateables)

rejecting them

rejecting them alt version

calling them by a pet name

when they hurt your feelings

coming out as nonbinary

mc w/ braces

seeing you in cute pjs

mc's afraid of needles

reactions to teaching diavolo wap

when you have a nightmare

wanting to cuddle you

teen delinquent!mc

holding their hands

reactions to you crying

comforting you when your dreams are insulted

hardworking mc

sharing their birthdate

sharing their birthdate alt version

calling them your whole world

using their shampoo (includes diavolo & simeon)

how they act on vacation

'losing interest' tiktok prank

defending you from a creep

coming out as ace (includes solomon)

when they're jealous

when they see snow

catching you sleeping

when you have art/writers block

"would you still love me if i were a worm"

waking them up to ask if they're asleep

at your wedding

burned-out mc

'the ick' prank

slow dancing with them

comforting a heartbroken mc

their morning routines

going on a boba date with them

seeing mc all bundled up for the cold

using kisses as leverage

picking them up from the airport

them as seasons

how they give you the ick

touching their horns/tails/etc.

slow learner mc

mc w/ glasses

before you

falling asleep in front of them

valentine’s day with the obey me boys

explaining the dentists to them | part 2

mc on their period

mc isn’t playing therapist

"i didn't want to be here"

you're dating someone?!?!?

mc’s brothers

carving pumpkins with them

nowhere to go for the holidays

mc with type 1 diabetes

when they (try to) surprise you

when they turn into toddlers

having a hard time in the human realm

comforting you after a loss

chaotic/feral mc texts (includes dateables)

photo not loading

adult twins are cringe

pride month?

deleting everyone cute

mc craving sweets during that time of the month

obey me boys as funny tweets | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | pt 5 | (includes dateables)

the brothers at university

pet names they call you (includes dateables)

om characters as wikihow memes (includes dateables)

obey me bros + pinterest nails

“he wants to order”

things not to say when someone comes out (includes dateables)

D&D(evildom) Beyond! - 6.5k, oc!mc

“Leviathan, Abel, what were you doing?” Lucifer prompts, and the two share a look.

“We were playing Dungeons and Dragons,” Leviathan begins slowly, “which, now that I’m looking–”

“–Our opening scene was awfully similar to this,” Abel finishes.

“Wait, are you saying you think we’re in your campaign?” Satan asks, eyes wide, and Leviathan nods.

“I mean, it makes total sense,” he says with budding excitement. “Like, I’m obviously supposed to be a ranger, Abel’s definitely an artificer, and Lucifer’s a total paladin. This is so cool, it’s like my dreams are being brought to life right before my eyes!”

my new neighbors are demons *not clickbait* - 1.3k

I love your writing ❤️❤️❤️

Can I request a shot with MC’s neighbor sort of just moving in and seeing the shenanigans of MC’s life that is the three realms.

Chaotic lessons from Solomon.

Accidentally catching MC using magic through a window they forgot to close.

Talking to Dia and Barbatos and Dia missing all social cues and taking everything literally.

Either be MC x Mammon or platonic with all

But also the brothers as they waltz into MC’s home whenever they are or are not in their home.

I can also see luke and mc bringing this guy extra sweets they baked

I’m sorry, I know this is a lot. I just thought your writing would match this perfectly.

come hell or high water - WIP; fem!reader

“Let’s get one thing straight,” he barks. “I don’t like you, nor do I respect you. This whole program is utterly ridiculous and I fear Prince Diavolo is a fool for suggesting such a thing. You’re just a lowly human, got that? You’ll always be nothing, especially to me, The Great Mammon.”

If he was looking for tears or offense, you were afraid that is not what he’d receive. You’d been playing the court since you were young, so these insults were nothing new to you. Actually, it was almost a relief for him to underestimate you because of your status as a human, and not a woman. Men were so dreadfully pigheaded sometimes, and you were sick and tired of having to play the good girl card, only smiling demurely instead of sharing your mind as you wished.

“Not going to say anything?” Lord Mammon snorts, and you cock your head at him.

“My apologies, Lord Mammon,” you say, “for I had not realized you were done speaking. I’m afraid I wasn’t listening all that closely.” Lord Mammon gapes at you, but you’re not finished. “Furthermore, I don’t know what the women down here are like, but I assure you, a few brash curse words and scowls thrown my way is not enough to scare me.”

(A Regency AU. Sort of)

mc on her period - 1.5k; fem!reader

“MC?” he asks, stepping closer to you. You manage a weak smile though you think it may have come across as a painful grimace. “Are you sick? Why are you huddled on the couch with like-” he pauses, eyes flicking over you, “-five blankets?”

You’re still not super used to any of them, what with you only having been in the Devildom for a few weeks, but you figure there’s no need to mince words. Demons could handle a bit of vaginal bleeding, couldn’t they?

“I’m on my period,” you say, and he winces. Maybe they couldn’t.

Sticks & Stones - 13k

“MC seemed off today, right?” Satan asked, looking at his brothers.

“For sure.” Belphie agreed, and it was quiet for a moment.

“I was going to ask why they were wearing your jacket, Mammon, but now I’m more worried about this,” Leviathan remarked, and Mammon smirked a little, but it was overshadowed by concern for his human.

“To be honest,” Asmo dabbed at his mouth daintily with a napkin. “I’ve been noticing it for a little while now, not just today.”

“As have I.” Lucifer seemed more serious than usual. “It is our duty as MC’s hosts to make sure that their time in the Devildom is satisfactory, and if they’re feeling down, it would be a good idea to know why.”

“Because we’re their hosts,” Mammon mocked. “Lucifer, we’re all worried about them, so ya can admit it too.”

* * *

You had been feeling a little low in terms of yourself, and the brothers decide to remind you if your self worth.

Are We Really Sure Crazy Equals Genius? - 2.5k; fem!reader

anon ask: can i request a obey me fic where female mc is super badass but also kinda crazy? like she has a gun or something idrk? thanks xx

[luxthestrange]

Incorrect quotes#778 Corrupted Mc

Sim*Nuzzles into your chest as you lay in his bed*It's funny how we are opposites but we're in love, Huh?

Mc*Smiles and lets out a calming sigh*Yeaaah it is~...tell me thought*Lets go him and sits at the edge of the bed*...Would you like it if I were...Evil?

Sim*Blinks and sits up straight and rubs neck*UH-...I-...uhhh

Mc*Smirking and stands up opening arms*Something more like...*With magic horns appearing on head and nails becoming like talons and legs have turned into classic devil hooves, Devil tail swaying side to side*This~?

Sim*Panics and feels heart go up this throat, cheeks reddening*UM-I-DSJDH-...OH-WOO~*coughs into a fist and backs away as you lean over down on him with a sultry gaze shifting to his lips and shoulders*hehehe~ ah-

Mc: Maybe I'll perform some NECROMANCY~*Grabs his chin making sure sharp nails only graze his cheek ever too gently*Do something REEEEAL BAAAAAD~*Forked tongue tip grazing his lips ever so softly*

Sim*Shivering as his wings pop out his back flapping, with a red face as he pants feeling EXTREMELY hot n bothered*OOOoooo my goodness...

Mc*Returns back to human form and pulls aways wheezing smiling over the prank they pulled*HAHAHA!-oh I could never~

Sim*Feels whole face is on fire as he left dumbfounded*

Remember when Simeon outed Levi's degradation k*nk?... I KNOW DAMN WELL THIS ANGEL BOY HAS A CORRUPTION KINK-I KNOW DAMN WELL HE LOVES THE IDEA OF BEING CORRUPTED BY YOU-

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hii~ as you know its spooky month!! ;)

So i was thinking about a demon reader for the tadc cast

The reader looks like a stereotypical demon( horns ,hooves ,maybe a tail idk) BUT is chaotic good

I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Ty❤️

TADC cast x demon!reader !

gonna knock this request out real fast then go lay down; i feel all uehdoivnffvnelfnfv but i am still on that grind !!!!!!! (please dont be like me please work on trying to create a healthy work/life balance and take care of yourself) short segments for this one sorry anon :(

CAINE:

honestly he would occasionally make himself look like an angel to match with you; give himself a halo and wings and all that! loves your energy, i said it once and ill say it again, i think caine would love a chaotic reader who keeps him guessing! keep this man on his toes, hes into that, keeps things fun!

POMNI:

naturally a little put off at first but warms up to you. does she think you can be a little too much? yeah, sometimes... does she know you mean well? yeah, and she tries not to hold your way of doing things against you! sometimes you let her fidget with your tail if shes feeling nervous about something

RAGATHA:

"you may be a demon but you're the sweetest person i know!", does not miss a day where she says she loves you.. should you ever think badly of yourself and believe there was a reason you were made into a demon in this world, ragatha will immediately dismiss any bad idea you have about yourself

JAX:

SAY IT WITH ME NOW!!! ITS ADMINS FAVORITE JAX HC!!! if you have a tail hes gonna fidget with it!! bonus if it wags around, like in the tail haver reader in a previous post; this dude would find it cute too... thrives in your chaos, you two just bounce off each other... not uncommon for jax to do a little prank and you trying to correct what he messed with in the most.. well chaotic way.. probably ends with more people confused or annoyed, though

KINGER:

probably thinks youre a legitimate demon for a minute before realizing, oh wait no you arent youre just like. funky like that, digital world stuff. please try to tone down any chaotic activities around him, he is already freaking out enough as things are TToTT

ZOOBLE:

i think they would be similar to pomni, kind of put off by your energy but knows youre not a threat. plus they would rather hang out with you than half of the people here so hey, i guess you can say youre winning. thinks your horns are cool, regardless of what shape you as the reader imagine them to be. i think i also mentioned that zooble seems like the type to be into darker stuff and i think that would also tie in with supernatural stuff, and well, demons are supernatural, right? i mean youre not really a demon, but the appreciation is still there

GANGLE:

maybe this is self projection again, or maybe its because i think gangle would be an artist and this is just. a common artist trait, but they would think youre like. really pretty. thinks demons and monsters are cute, has definitely played a monster dating sim at some point before getting stuck in the digital world

not much else to say i just think this idea was a little funny for gangle.. i can kinda see zooble being a monster dating sim fan... maybe i just kin them both

[kiwinatorwaffles]

hermit species headcanons: volume… 2!

i made this post two years ago when i was fresh to the series and was just getting to know the hermits. a lot has changed since then, but a lot has also stayed the same! my headcanons are getting refined every single time i talk about them, so chances are, this list won't even be accurate to my thoughts a year later.

with that being said, let's get started! click the cut to read them all

bdubs: glare! small, hates the dark, is a feral creature, will never let go of the moss. he and pungance were born from the same tree in the same patch of moss so they are brothers LMAO

beef: vampire! but not a full one. he was bitten by a bat and gained two vampiric traits exactly: fangs and sensitive skin. beef thinks his tendency to get sunburnt easily is just something in his code or a genetic condition. he never got it checked.

cub: alien shapeshifter! his original form is this shapeless void blob, and he can only copy how other beings look like. his forms were taken from two astronauts he saw in space, an old man and a young man. his void form can be seen slightly on his inner arm, where there is just a sliver of night sky hanging out

cleo: zombie (duh) cleo was permakilled by a witch's curse but when faced with the pearly gates they were like. nah. i'd rather be down there. and just straight up left and came back as a zombie. that's how she met joe. because he was sitting on top of her tombstone eating a sandwich

doc: originally a fae, but now he's super fucked up? what can i even say. he was a fae who got super interested in the sciences and started experimenting on himself just for the hell of it. there was that whole dinnerbone cyborg arm thing but he also managed to make himself a centaur form that he uses for extra storage and height. nobody knows where the creeper came from. was it from his dad's side? did he give it to himself? not even stress, his cousin, can tell you how he came to be. what the hermits DO know however is that he can steal pronouns by asking for them

etho: redstone deity! etho was an ancient builder who was executed for witchcraft upon his discovery of redstone. he was resurrected by the universe as a second chance and to spread his knowledge to the world. you can read more from my fic here ehehehehe

false: human! yes she is 100% human. i just thought it would be funny if such an awesome and skilled fighter was just some normal ass human with a bit of social anxiety

gem: forest spirit! she has nature powers and can change parts of her body to reflect parts of nature. she's a deer? an elf? nope! only sometimes. she can mix and match whatever traits she wants on any given day. but be careful of those deer legs and horns. they Hurt

grian: red macaw avian! he has bird feathers covering his ears, parrot wings, and bird talons! he is also able to mimic voices perfectly (which he uses to play pranks and swear in other hermits’ voices) and is a Hollow Boned Menace. he carries a lot of bird tendencies, like being a piece of shit or preening his friends’ hair when it’s too messy (which is always). in start of seasons, he has x lock away usage of his wings to keep himself from an unfair advantage. he also has stolen powers from the watchers, which he can use to change his wing colors or view the entire map from afar.

npg: ????????????? he’s supposed to be a robot, but he has wings and flies sideways?????? he’s somehow even more fucked up than robot grian. not even grian is sure of what he created tbh. he just knows he did NOT give npg those conure wings to begin with.

ariana griande: galah avian! she is grian's cousin who is a pop star. she has never actually been on hermitcraft before -- that was grian cosplaying as her.

hypno: human warlock! he accidentally made a pact when he replaced his tooth with a piece of cursed gold. jokes on his patron though, his faulty human memory can't even remember how he got his powers! he has lots of inscriptions as tattoos written in galactic just all over his body that he completely forgot how to read at this point and is immortal. maybe that's a bit bad for his sense of self-preservation

impulse: demon/imp! he used to be a gargoyle that dispensed candy, but a wizard passing by granted him life and well. now he's here! demons are actually underworld spirits that punish permadead players who have been genuinely horrible to the players around them, but impulse wanted to build houses and play with redstone instead of stirring the torture soup. so when he met skizz he decided hanging out with the players was the best thing to do. he also used to have larger horns and wings but his time on the surface has made his wings very tiny and unusable without the help of an elytra. skizz always teases him for this.

iskall: cyborg! the hermits don't know if he was fully human before the cyborgification. me, personally? i think it would be funny if she was actually built to protect a village but had too much of a personality so the villages just let him go have fun with the players. not sure if i want to adhere to that though

jevin: slime! certain slimes have evolved to be more like players. jevin is from the blue variety (that's his gender)

joe hills: ???????? void-born universe being??? joe is actually the oldest living being in the universe. he was just popped out of void (even predating the void gods) and spent all this time just doing whatever fuckall was around to do. he looks like a normal human being but just Slightly to the left, like his a bit-too-many teeth or slight lean when he stands. other than that, he acts like any other human!

joel: human mage! he actually only has powers of illusion that changes only how he looks. he Really wanted to be an orc but the spell couldnt last forever (as his fae wife lizzie found out after marriage). every day he wishes he had as much swag as shrek did. more on the headcanon here

keralis: weird fucking eldritch cryptid being? except he looks exactly like a human. nothing weird about him, nope. just don't look too closely at his eyes. he promises that he blinks like a normal person and not with his pupils.

mumbo: robot! with a core heart and stretchy limbs, he runs mainly on the consumption of redstone and occasionally typical foodstuffs. he had a creator before the days of hermitcraft (who originally built him as a war machine but something went deeply sideways during construction) that taught him all there is to know about redstone and the outside world. he also inherited the british accent and mustache from his creator. his creator did want him to be free and wiped mumbo's memory of his creation before setting him off into the overworld and letting him roam free. now he's just a silly guy!

grumbot: robot! he was first built to give suggestions on what to do with the mayoral elections but then he developed actual attachments to his horribly neglectant dads </3 but it's alright! he now chills with renbob and goatman up in the hermitheus

pearl: moon spirit! she was the moon from a player's hardcore world. the player used to talk to the moon for fun, but suddenly disappeared from the world one day. now feeling lonely, pearl took a humanoid form and descended to find where her player went, but she ended up discovering the joys of being a player herself. contrary to popular belief, she had no influence on the season 8 moon.

ren: weredog! can shapeshift into a dog form, which he usually uses to either run fast or play fetch. he’s also more prone to change when the moon is larger…. except he just becomes a hyperactive dog who chases his tail all night and is deeply embarrassed by it. he also probably has rabies, but everyone whom he has bitten probably already had something deeply wrong with them to begin with anyway

renbob: human...? he's related to ren from the human side, or at least that what he tells people. but he might as well be 50% weed by now

scar: human(?) wizard! he can fly, subtly change his physical appearance, cast spells, and do all sorts of magical shenanigans! he also can read galactic fluently, which is how he learned that hypno enchanted himself with loyalty at some point. jellie is his beloved familiar. also he's a capitalist. nobody knows where that came from

skizz: angel! why are there angels in minecraft, you might ask? some people are satisfied with their lives and let themselves permadie. skizz, after being born randomly from an angel statue (i wonder if it’s related to the other statue guy) was supposed to be one of the angels who helped escort players to the pearly gates, but he met impulse while his demon clan was taking a field trip to heaven. the two immediately became besties and skizz begged the universe to let him join the players. the universe begrudgingly agreed and now he's here! he hides his many other halos as ring tattoos on his arms as well

stress: fae! she's got fairy powers, magical swag, an affinity for flowers, and will beat you up if you assume she's the resident server cleric.

tango: ex-blazeborn! he saw some yummy packed ice and ate it, which extinguished his internal flame. his blazeborn tribe felt bad for him but knew it would be dangerous if he stayed, so tango just left for the overworld instead. he tries to convince people that he is 100% a human and not suspicious at all because he's embarrassed of having to explain that he lost most of his powers due to eating some yummy ice cream. a more detailed post about my headcanon can be found here

tfc: human! the only non-human aspect of him is a prosthetic leg. contrary to popular belief, he did not lose that leg while mining. it was after fighting a horde of skeletons. (he won)

wels: human. he's just a human. nobody believes him when he tells them because they've seen him accidentally level a building while sparring before. but nope. he's just a human. and a very fucked up one at that

hels: ???? techncially has the traits of wels, beef, and etho????? is there a species for evil clones created by copying machines or

xb: guardian! he was a guardian made to guard the magical treasures of ancient builders, but he got bored of staying in the same spot for centuries and his creators never returning. hypno casted a spell of bipedelity on xb, so now he can walk on land! i wrote a fic about it here too

xisuma: voidwalker! created by the young void gods, he was made from a fucking mspaint file where the void gods dicked around with the program and made a deeply fucked up being (him) on accident. he has no mouth, his hands are as black as the void, and his voice is terrifying without a modulator, which is why he wears a helmet. more about it in my fic here

evil x: also a voidwalker, but this time the void gods pressed random on a picrew and sent him out into an alternate dimension. he grew up in super england until x fished him out of the void. this little rascal has red scleras, ram horns, and a devil tail. he doesn't need to sleep, so he gets all his energy from eating, which is convenient because his sharp teeth can crunch anything and he can digest everything. his hair acts like an enderchest with a portal to the void, where he keeps snacks and various trinkets.

zedaph: human, but he’s not sane. i mean look at this guy. look at what he’s doing. nobody knows how he became so deeply fucked up but he's truly just Like That. he gave himself sheep features once on accident though

worm man: surprisingly, human. he's lucky to have stayed human for this long with his brother's insane experiments. accurate to popular belief, he has no superpowers.