#funniest fucking thing ever

[thechaoticcomet]

[Yall ever have a friend tell ya you don't act like you have ADHD but then have to explain it's because of your meds and Then the rest with ADHD tell Said Friend who also has ADHD they have detected definite signs of ADHD coming from ya?]

[horribluh]

sanjis shit game with women while being a dude magnet vs gay zoro constantly attracting the Hottest Women Alive FIGHT

[ldyvdr]

bonus:

imp: my lord, we lost hold of the station on endor

vader: you imbeciles. how????

imp: a bald man with a santa beard and build

vader: oh lmfao that’s my boy

[shitpostingkats]

I've been making a collection of aa4 lines that make me lose my entire mind

[minzart]

People who experience romantic and/or sexual attraction are so funny sometimes

They will ask "who's your crush?" And you will answer "i don't have one" and then it starts

"Why are you liying?", "you can trust me", "don't hide", "i don't belive you", "what?! Everyone has one come on", "hmhu it's [name] isn't it?".

in the extreme cases (mine once) they won't let you even leave the conversation and place it started

And so you lie

And when if "confession" comes from "name" and you reject it every single persson who made you lie will be angry.

Honey. Why the fuck are you angry? You decided a lie is more realistic than reality

[clownwithoutamedicallicense]

GUYS THEY PUT THE MECHANISMS IN MY OFFICIAL AUTISM DIAGNOSIS IM FUCKING CRYING

[ghostlyfirn]

i was laughing so fucking hard i started crying

[bibbsy]

the sillies

[stewykablooey]

UNFUCKABLE

[goldenstorm0]

instant first thought by the end of the chapter. What is she doing, why, has she done this before, what

[mbohjeezart]

[ WIP ]

Bring a goat to a courthouse...

[bacchuschucklefuck]

prayer of the day:

[pusangkambing]

Im so sorry but Wilbur being allowed to leave because lovejoy fucking funds the federation is literally the funniest fucking thing ever like no one can top thia im so sorry thats amazing

[peck2neck]

drawpile doodles

[shanastoryteller]

Happy birthday!!!! More FMA!

He’s fucking tired.

In Xerxes, he’s Van Edris. In Xerxes, he’s the son of a former slave, having narrowly escaped being born into his father’s fate by virtue of him being awarded freedom by the time of his birth. In Xerxes, he’s an uncommon commodity, an alchemist with a skill that hasn’t been seen since his father fucked off to who knows where.

In Amestris, he’s Edward Elric. In Amestris, he’s the son of Trisha Elric who was born free and died free because while there are lots of different forms of freedom, in Amestris there’s one that everyone shares. In Amestris, he’s unknown and unremarkable and no one gives a fuck about what he does.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says flatly.

This is what he gets for visiting his father’s country. It’s just fucking unfortunate that the really good alchemical texts are here.

He should have let Al (Van Altun, as they know him, even though the two of them having been using their Amestrian names almost their whole lives, regardless of what country they were in) do it. They’re not nearly as weird about him.

Pakor is alright, as far as kings go. He’s freed a lot of people, is poking at the laws of ownership that has governed his country for centuries to see if he can do anything about them without getting beheaded for it. He’s also known Ed since he was a barely able to walk, back when his father still made court appearances and brought the family along with him. Former slave against most talented alchemist in the country, and people tended to politely ignore the former. Hell, Ed’s been counting on the same thing since he was twelve.

Of course, now it’s coming back to bite him. People say he’s a genius, but if he was really smart he would have stayed far, far away from court. Like in Amestris, perhaps.

“You’re fluent in both languages,” Pakor says, coaxing.

“So are you,” he says accusingly. “We’re speaking Amestrian right now!”

Pakor sighs and switches to Xerxian. “You also speak Xingese and Drachman. You’re a difficult man to keep secrets from.”

“I’m also Amestrian!” he shouts. “And free, might I add! You can’t sell me off to slavery just to get some intel!”

“It’s not like we’ll brand you,” he says, affronted, and Ed is reminded that alright for a king is still pretty shitty. “We just need someone to do a little – double checking. To ensure the situation in Amestris is as it’s advertised.”

“You want to gift me to the Fuhrer to spy on him and you’re, what, just hoping he doesn’t notice that I understand everything and know everything and am, oh yeah, one of his citizens? I’ve been to Central before! With my luck, I’ll get recognized the first day here and then run out of Amestris! And, again, Amestris doesn’t have slaves! The leader of the country really can’t have one.”

Pakor sighs. “You’re very dramatic, Edris. It won’t be so bad. Here, I’ll say you’re my personal slave and that you’re on loan. It’ll be for cultural exchange purposes. He speaks Xingese, so you can communicate in that language without letting on you know Amestrian.”

Ed pinches the bridge of his nose. “This is a stupid fucking idea.”

“If you do this,” Pakor says, “I’ll give you the key to the royal library.”

Ed slowly lowers his hand, eyes narrowing. “I’ve been asking you to let me in there for years.”

“I figured I’d need to bargain it away eventually,” he says. “I was hoping you’d marry one of my daughters for it.” Having even light court obligations is bad enough, he’s in no way stupid enough to marry in. “You’re very difficult, you know. I’m your king. I shouldn’t have to bargain with you.”

“Tough shit,” Ed says, because Pakor may have known him for nearly twenty years, but that knowing goes both ways. Besides, he can’t piss him off because then he and Al will stop reparing all their shit bridges and infrastructure. “Fine. But if I lose my Amestrian citizenship over this, I’m going to be pissed.”

“Noted,” Pakor says brightly.

Uhg.

It doesn’t help that everything he’s heard about Fuhrer Mustang makes the man sound insufferable.

[detectivejimmykudo]

EEEEÆÆUUEHHH