#fully losing my mind at this point

[heartstopperthoughts]

[fishslappping]

the boy is back in town!!!!

[puppyeared]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[hella1975]

Hellstie wtf is tsp

gripping the table nails digging in the wood blood everywhere. im so glad u asked :)

the second perspective is a bsd fic for both skk and sskk (both with about equal screentime for anyone with favourites) and it’s an insanely well-written murder mystery by @wildflowerteas. like genuinely @tallysescape has an actual physical conspiracy wall and @rotisseries has made a map of all the relevant locations. it updates every sunday and finally I’ve caught up so we all go insane about it on a gc bc like I said ITS SO INSANELY WELL WRITTEN AND THE TWISTS ARE INSANE THE PACING IS INSANE THE CHARACTERISATION IS INSANE I GENUINELY CANNOT FAULT THIS FIC WHICH IS CRAZY TO SAY OF ANY FIC BUT IN THE BSD FANDOM IS DOWNRIGHT REVOLUTIONARY

[lanternlightss]

HELLO fish doodle again :] they is getting hair ruffles

!!!!! HAIR RUFFLESS

did you get a peek into my docs /j NO BUT OH MY GOD !!!!!!!! this is So So incredibly cute i am !!!!! yelling !!!!! love how absolutely content and blissed out venti looks, they are living the dream. right here is the best place, thank you very much, i will Not be moving <3

also love how excited bard looks to be doing this too aAAAAaaaAA oh my goodness. bard voice their hair is somft i must ruffle ,,, my gosh i can’t get over how he just looks happy seeing venti happy !!!! oaghhhh they are the darlings of all timeeee

[stormyrainyday]

this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy

[daz4i]

going through my writing is either "oh. ew. cringe. this is the most embarrassing thing ever" or "YOOOOOOOO I'M A GENIUS? I'M A FUCKING GENIUS? i deserve a grammy for this lyric writing already"

[astranauticus]

post mortem for my orv animatic bc i have lots of thoughts and yall are gonna hear all of them (that is a threat)

first is the obligatory special thanks/plagiarism declaration section but a lot of the shots in this are inspired by the original changgwi lyric video which like. please watch it there's a reason this song is a classic animatic song on bilibili like the music is good but the video definitely helped. also speaking of bilibili, special shoutout to this arknights chongyue animatic that introduced me to the song that will haunt the next 8 months of my life!

the original inspiration was the thought that the verse of the spirit telling the story of its own death felt very yjh coded but it took like another week of stewing on it to have the idea of using the final chorus for the dkos arc which was the moment i decided i have to actually make this thing

going strictly by when i started putting pen to paper (pencil to ipad screen? whatever) this took almost exactly 5 months since i created the first drafts in february but the first 3 months ish from february until may were also my school semester so. most of the progress (id say about >60%) was done in the last two months of me working on this every moment i wasnt at work (or playing project sekai, for some reason)

also! funny little detail but counting the drafts and some discarded frames my procreate stack for this thing has exactly 49 artworks in it! neat little easter egg i guess (yeah 51 wouldve been more fitting but whatever)

this fully slipped by both me (at 2am) and my friend whom i sent the finished version to (fighting the flu) but in the final edit i didn't actually include the second half of the last lyric?? it's 'i will take you to the mountain god' i apparently just wrote 'i will take you' and never finished the rest LMAO

speaking of the lyrics i dont speak korean and im not a huge fan of most english translations of this song that exists so on multiple occasions i was so tempted to just use the chinese cover someone on bilibili did because then i'd at least be confident i know where the fucking line breaks were (there's one line at the end where im pretty sure i didn't edit on the line breaks correctly but that was more of an intentional compromise because the timings would've been off otherwise. anyway) tbh the only reason i didnt do that is the atmosphere and delivery of the original song is. really unbeatable like the cover's also pretty good but it doesn't quite achieve the same effect

also speaking of things i fucked up im aware i drew sys in the wrong outfit for the dkos fight but like. ok full disclosure my orv reference folder is a complete mess (theres like 400+ images in there. for some reason) so on net ive gotten character outfits wrong while working on this thing like at least 3 times bc id just grab a random webtoon screenshot from my folder and go w it. it's just that by the time i realised i fucked up i'd already finished drawing all of sys's frames and i was too lazy to go back and change all of them LMAO

anyway yeah some other random things i wanted to whinge about:

there's a lot of effects i wanted to do that didn't quite come across due to. lack of skill/time/patience/all of the above but the one im really annoyed about is the yhk postchorus bit with the 3 circles bc. first off i think i drew those while halfway dozing off on the train to school once because uh. yeah

anyway poor drawing aside id really wanted to recreate the sort of. drawn-in effect on the circles and lines that the original lyric video had but i could NOT for the life of me figure out a way to execute that in capcut so. here we are (also you cant put transitions on overlays in capcut so that's why those also looked so bad. youre welcome)

honestly my timeline for this in capcut looks pretty ridiculous bc if you want to do word by word animations/effects you need to pay for the pro version so my workaround was just to have like five thousand text layers with 1-2 words on it each (do not recommend btw)

speaking of the text im a moron so i kinda forgot to account for the text when drawing frames and wow you can tell. yeah next time im just hand writing the text fuck this

and i have some more thoughts that are. mild to moderate webtoon spoilers so past this will be the spoiler warning line

__________________________________________________________

actually my original plan was to upload this the day dkos dies in the webtoon but a. i genuinely did think it was gonna be yesterday like i dont pay for the early access episodes so i was just kinda going off orvtwt LMAO b. i could feel myself burning out on this like the last few frames i drew for this were fucking dogshit so i figured either i finish it soon or i wont finish it at all

i will probably still draw something for dkos' death day though for those who celebrate (basically when i was thumbnailing for one of the frames in this i ended up with one that didnt fit the video aspect ratio at all but still looks pretty good so im promoting it to a full drawing. so look forward to that)

like for an idea of how fucking sick of this shit i was by like. last week pretty much like for the last few frames of the dkos fight i straight up forgot to draw dkos' wings and had to add them in halfway through editing last night. like that's how fucking out of it i was by then lmaoo

looking back its actually kinda funny cuz the whole put this up when dkos dies thing was my plan since february but i had literally no way of knowing when that would be especially since the webtoon stopped going with the novel chapter numbers exactly (i could.. guesstimate but my original estimation was in june so yknow. real useful) but like i can find evidence of me panicking about that deadline since may. why did i do that

given that deadline i knew i cant really include stuff from the novel past the dkos arc but man. the amount of times i wanted to use something from later (ESPECIALLY 1863 arc). i actually have another idea i want to test out thats like full epilogue spoilers partially because working on this for so long made me realise i really want to make more epilogue content <- what

yknow how i mentioned discarded frames yeah i had to draw dkos' death 3 times because the first two compositions just never quite panned out. i mean the current one is also pretty unreadable with the colour scheme but trust me the previous ones were way worse christ alive

[feathered-serpents]

I'm terrible at keeping things I'm excited about close to my chest until they're ready so here's some of the completed linework I have for Angrboda's Egypt look

And here's the very very very rough concept I have for a potential new ability for her

It's making me go insane

[catvids]

they gave my favorite character a closed arc and wrote her out of the story 👍

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[seraphim-soulmate]

so how do I reconcile with just having big baby loser brain that decided I'd be mentally ill and perpetually stuck suffering instead of having just dealt with my shit in a more normal way? or is there some neuroscience that can explains that I don't have a cringefail brain but it's actually something else??

i mean. it's shame. shame I feel for struggling with things i consider i shouldn't struggle with, which i guess is kinda stupid bcs when i take a step back i realize it's understandable that im struggling with certain things ive lived through. being stuck in them doesn't entirely make sense, but I'm willing to accept that my past shaped me. not to mention that I'm also somehow kind of constantly going through really hard situations on top of also dealing with my past? but it also all (mental illness and emotional sensitivity, I mean) started with something, and my early childhood was my parents getting divorced.

but I consider that banal, plenty of parents get divorced and it doesn't mean their kid suffers from treatment-resistant depression and ptsd. I guess divorce is so normalized now that i don't consider it a valid thing to be traumatized over, at least not to the extent to which ive experienced symptoms. but I was separated from one parent, always missing one or the other, without any explanation that could make sense to a child's brain about why any of this happened and why i have to suffer because of it. can I get rid of the shame by validating the struggles I went through? would that make me feel better about having been disabled by my life experiences?

[euclydya]

shit we did not have time for in The Past:

having pets

eating candy and other snacks but primarily Candy

Sleeping In

lotcherslly just chilling

shit we Routinely Do now in This Life:

All Of The Above And Then Some !!!!

[byanyan]

byan on an average day: glitter. very cute but too many hairclips. makeup done and usually quite vibrant. fitted clothes (oftentimes showing a little extra skin) involving a lot of bright pink. colourful platform boots. more glitter.

byan on a bad day: makeup smudged or non-existent. hair a mess, either falling out of a ponytail or not even pulled back. oversized hoodies and baggy pants. more black than usual. simple combat boots. no glitter.

and they're really out here with the gall to say that they're good at hiding it when they're having a rough time... smh my head

[dbphantom]

Do you think these 4 people know that at this point I've pack bonded with them and would kill and die for them if they asked

[alebrijediscordico]

im losing my mind, why does this keep happening...

like. ive already talked about this, mostly in tags but i keep noticing it and i feel like if i dont talk about it more im gonna explode. so

artists and wings-

for some reason, since my mind decided to grab onto wings as a special interest (like, properly. it has always been there but dormant in the back of my mind) i can kinda see when wings are anatomically correct or not more easily

and that, of course, lead to me suffering in silence as legit 85% of the internet (AND EVEN PROFESSIONAL ARTISTS) has wings either too thin, with way less feathers than it should have* or atrocious anatomy (triangle wings /beloathed). which is why i treasure the very few times i find decent, or even Good wings in the wild

but because my head is like. stupidly aware of patterns all the time, i realized... a thing:

every artist that had a very specific kind of artstyle that i liked had a Insanely high chance of being that 15% of people who had good wings

so trying to find out Why, i tried analyzing why i gravitated to those artstyles like a moth to a lamp

and instead of helping me figure out why, it just send me down a rabbit hole. but i did had some interesting findings in my way there

the first one is volume. of course, to know exactly how and in which ways a wing moves, you need to know A Lot of how to make 2d look 3d, and also how much space things take and how that interacts with everything else. and if the artist knows how to do that with Wings, which have many layers and move in Very specific ways, that knowledge is probably gonna go used in human or general anatomy of things

the second one is details. wings have A lot of that because of the feathers, and if you, in some way or another, master that, means you probably have fun with it and also do many other detailed things (and adding to that, having a good eye on details sometimes means the artist Will also try to be as accurate with things as possible. ive actually noticed this with A Lot of old ancient artists, which have some very beautiful wings)

and the last one is color. wings pigmentation is very tricky to get right as first, but ive seen people who do crazy wings also know how to balance color and make colors that usually crash work!

and of course all of this isnt always the case, but... im yet to find an artist with good wings who doesnt have all these three things at least partially mastered

....and dont get me started on artists who animate And have great wings

those dudes are insane /beloved