#i dont know what the point of finding out the answer to this is either. i guess to justify why its okay for me to be like this.

[seraphim-soulmate]

so how do I reconcile with just having big baby loser brain that decided I'd be mentally ill and perpetually stuck suffering instead of having just dealt with my shit in a more normal way? or is there some neuroscience that can explains that I don't have a cringefail brain but it's actually something else??

i mean. it's shame. shame I feel for struggling with things i consider i shouldn't struggle with, which i guess is kinda stupid bcs when i take a step back i realize it's understandable that im struggling with certain things ive lived through. being stuck in them doesn't entirely make sense, but I'm willing to accept that my past shaped me. not to mention that I'm also somehow kind of constantly going through really hard situations on top of also dealing with my past? but it also all (mental illness and emotional sensitivity, I mean) started with something, and my early childhood was my parents getting divorced.

but I consider that banal, plenty of parents get divorced and it doesn't mean their kid suffers from treatment-resistant depression and ptsd. I guess divorce is so normalized now that i don't consider it a valid thing to be traumatized over, at least not to the extent to which ive experienced symptoms. but I was separated from one parent, always missing one or the other, without any explanation that could make sense to a child's brain about why any of this happened and why i have to suffer because of it. can I get rid of the shame by validating the struggles I went through? would that make me feel better about having been disabled by my life experiences?

[seratopia]

vi x reader (fluff) - modern au ; around the house

→ she/her pronouns!

self-indulgent, personal headcannons i have for VI! suggestive and pervy! you've been warned!

an absolute BEAST if she sees you around the house in your loungewear. you won't be able to walk by the kitchen, do laundry, ANYTHING without her hand somewhere on your ass.

she especially loves when you wear just an oversized tee and underwear; goes apeshit if the shirt lifts and she catches a glimpse of your butt while you're doing something mundane like reach for a mug on a shelf.

It's a lazy Sunday at Vi's apartment, meaning that the both of you have most likely haphazardly thrown on each other's clothes as a slim effort at modesty.

Vi has on a raggedy black wifebeater, no bra of course, and some random pair of plaid boxers. You've thrown on a shirt you found on the floor, which you didn't know said, "BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN" until you looked in the mirror. Oh well.

Suspecting that Vi would probably be playing Call of Duty in her room or something, you frolick off to the kitchen, thinking you can just make yourself lunch and binge a Netflix show.

You were very wrong. She already started getting bored as soon as she entered the lobby, thinking too much about how she should be with you since you're at her flat anyway.

Discarding her headset to the side, Vi leaps off of her desk chair, excitedly wandering around the apartment to see if she could find you. And she does, finding you reaching up on a shelf for a bowl.

Her eyes aren't on you though, moreso on the literal SLIVER of ass that shows as the t-shirt lifts. You're standing on your tippy-toes too, since Vi purposefully puts the bowls on the top shelf for this exact reason.

Whilst stirring your ramen, you feel a rough palm slide up against where your thighs and ass meet, giving you a good squeeze. It's almost ignorable at this point, since she does it so often. Vi's all up on you, gently pinching your butt before sliding her palms up onto your waist. She pulls you into her as you stir up your ramen, aligning up her front to your back.

A kiss is pressed to your nape, before she leans her cheek on your shoulder. A whiny groan escapes her lips, where she squeezes your waist tight.

"Mmph, you're so cute... you know that?" She murmurs into your ear, like she can't handle it.

The airy giggle that escapes your lips almost has Vi's head spinning, in which she rests her chin on your shoulder to see what's on the stove.

"What'cha making?" She asks, and you affectionately place your hand on top of hers.

"Shin. You wanna share?" You answer, turning the stove off as steam starts to wafe from the pot.

You feel a nod against your shoulder. "Mhm."

౨ৎ ――

has these strangeeee cravings/struggle meals, mannerisms too. she grew up in prison for most of her teenage-to-adult life, so she had to get creative when it came to food she wanted to eat.

sometimes she'd crush up dry ramen noodles and sprinkle the flavoring packet as a snack, or dip plain bread in applesauce

she will eat ANYTHING, no complaints, she's seen the worst, probably has a stomach of steel

she eats so fast too, so quickly. like those reels about the girl taking her time to eat and the boyfriend finishing his meal in 20 seconds.

i reckon she eats alot too, either fast metabolism, or just that she burns alot of calories in general from being so active.

her body runs warm

DUDE she'll look at people weird too; i feel like she has a staring problem sometimes. if you're at a sephora or something she'll give you some space, but then stare at you from afar like some creep

(i dont know anything about prison)

Over the years of dating Vi, you're noticed the 'prison' behavior that never really washed out of her. She's opened up a lot to you about her experience in jail; what she was in for, how she felt, the types of thing she's had to do to get by. You treat the subject with upmost gentleness, something that Vi's never really used to as someone who's been traumatized her entire life.

You've started to see reoccurring comfort meals that she eats sometimes. Once, you asked Vi if she wanted anything from the supermarket while you out. She texted you; can u get me cheese ritz crackers.

It's almost like you knew Vi was up to something silly; when you came home with the crackers, she did a little, "oooh, yay!" before pressing a wet kiss to your cheek.

"Why'd you want these?" You asked, kicking off your shoes at the door.

She grabbed the packet from your hand, in which you notice a tender, nostalgic expression on her face as she peered at the packaging.

"Mac & cheese." She just said with a cheeky grin, heading over to the kitchen.

You watch as she would scrape the cheese filling off the crackers, put them into a bowl, and melt them down in the microwave with a bit of butter and milk. While that's happening, she'd boil a packet of instant noodles, and then dump the noodles into the 'sauce' and stir it up.

"Y'know, I made this a lot in jail. It's my favorite." She'd explain to you with a full mouth, groaning with every bite she took.

And now, sometimes you make it, just to make Vi happy.

౨ৎ ――

your first christmas with Vi was super cute. though Vi used to celebrate christmas in early childhood, she doesn't really remember it. christmas time during jail was just receiving small goody bags from charities; nothing heartfelt or meaningful.

vi almost doesn't know what to do with herself during christmas, especially when you're feeling all festive and making gentle decorations around the apartment.

she used to not care about holidays, but now she does, because you do <3

Knelt on the soft, carpeted floor of your apartment, you sit across from Vi. She has on these silly Christmas-themed pajama pants on that you gifted her mid-December, along with the hoodie she likes to sleep in the most. You're bundled up in warm pajamas, complete with a silly Santa hat on top of your head.

Reaching underneath the decorated tree, you pull out a wrapped parcel, handing it to your girlfriend with a warm, excited smile. The way she looks at the present is so confused, so awkwardly cute. Hesitantly, she takes it in her hand.

"Is this for me?"

"Duh! Yes, you can open it." You say with a smile.

You watch as Vi peels back the layers of colorful wrapping paper with a tiny smile on her face, fighting the urge to pull your phone out and start recording like a proud parent.

A little gasp escapes your breath when Vi finally reveals the present; a black, cat-eared beanie you crocheted for her in secret weeks prior. The way her face utterly lights up has your heart melting inside. You realize how big this might be for her; one of her first real Christmases, one of her first real handmade gifts.

She peers up at you, with the beanie in her lap. "Did you make this?"

You nod. "Yeah, you wear beanies a lot so, I thought a kitty-cat one would be cute."

You watch as Vi's face starts to twist whilst looking down at the beanie, her eyebrows loosening while her chin starts to wrinkle just a little bit. She quickly sinks her head low, using the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe away at fat tears that dribble down her cheek.

At first you don't know how to handle it, until you shuffle closer to her on your knees, placing your hand on her knee. After sniffling a few times, she looks to you with reddened eyes, a quivering lip.

Setting the beanie aside onto the carpet, Vi hoists you closer to her with two palms by your sides. She wraps you up in a warm, tight bear hug, digging her cheek into the side of your neck with sniffles against your ear. Vi practically rings all the air out of you with her strong arms, but you tolerate it anyway because you know it's all love.

Smiling, you soothe her with a pat on her shoulder, trying your best to match her level of hug-strength. You then feel muffled words against your shoulder, before Vi sits up.

You can barely ask what she said before Vi tenderly pulls you into her with arms around your shoulders, pressing up her soft lips against yours. The tears on her cheek smear onto your face as Vi pokes and prods at your mouth with her lips, kissing you sweetly with the tiniest sobs in between.

When finished, she hugs you tight again, almost knocking you over onto the carpet.

"I love you." *sniffle* "I'll keep it forever."

౨ৎ ――

she's a thighs girl, through and through. you literally have to watch when you wear shorts or a skirt because she'll go apeshit like a pubescent teenaged boy.

does dumb in the head when you sit and your thighs squish up against the chair, ESPECIALLY if you sit on her lap.

likes to grope em up with her hands, or rest her head on them

sucking hickeys on them is fun too ;)))))))

"Vi, you really gotta stop doing this in public."

You say with as much of a serious tone as possible, crossing your arms whilst looking up at her. You're both towards the back of the Sephora, amidst searching for a specific perfume that you wanted to try.

Vi only replies with a cheeky smirk, crossing her own arms before trailing her eyes back down towards your thighs. She's insufferable.

"Doing whaaat?" She slyly asks, shifting her weight onto one side.

"Feeling me up like a perv, that's what!" You exclaim in fake annoyance, walking away from her and quickly busying yourself with one of the isles of lipgloss.

Vi makes light grabby hands as she chases after you, playfully whining while you test out a gloss color on the back of your hand.

"But you're so soffttttt-"

Your glare is enough to silence her, walking away like a kicked puppy to make odd mixtures with the makeup testers.

౨ৎ ――

she's such a goofy goober at heart <333

it's the small silly things that make you giggle the most; putting something odd on her head, staring at you with funny faces, mewing at you, tickling your sides; kid-like stuff.

and when you playfully roll your eyes, she'll just respond with the cheekiest, cat-got-the-cream kind of smile.

she'll go to great, weird lengths to hear you chuckle or laugh.

cackling with her is rare, but literal gold like i'm talking tears coming out the eyes, flip flopping like a fish while laughing, lightly hitting eachother on the arm, scream laughing.

Your girlfriend practically beckons you over to the Spencer's with a spring in her step. Letting her wave you over like an excited puppy, you step into the dark store, whilst Vi eagerly heads over to the t-shirt section. She has a thing for gag-gifts, like odd mugs or silly socks.

You let Vi loose like a child into a park, while you stare at the odd cups and lanyards. Browsing through the very extensive belt collection towards the back of the store, you notice a familiar head of pink hair out the corner of your eye.

"Babes, look!"

If she had a tail it'd be wagging right now, holding a wad of dark grey cloth in between both of her silver-ringed hands. With a sly smile on her face, unraveling the ball of cloth in her hand to put up a large shirt.

It says "two-seater" in the middle, one arrow pointing to the neck of the shirt, while the other points to the bottom of it.

You short, your eyes flickering from the big shirt to Vi's smug face.

"It's perfect for you." You say, and she eagerly nods, folding it over her forearm. She then gives you this silly look, like fluttering her lashes and peering at you with oddly pursed lips. She looks half like a baby that ate a lemon, half like a peasant begging for food.

She steps closer to you, holding the shirt and tugging on your sleeve.

"Can I wear it while you sit on my-"

You harshly hit her on the arm, in which Vi rubs where you hit with fake hurt.

"Shhh, people will hear!"

She stops you before you turn away towards the belts with a hand on your arm, goofily fluttering her eyelashes at you like it's actually going to work. She does that thing you like, ghosting her hand onto your side with a little squeeze.

"...."

The cashier gives you both a look when Vi hands them a few dollar bills, placing the shirt into a paper bag while scroll through your phone.

౨ৎ ――

extras:

knows how to do that thing where she presses her palm onto your lower tummy while finger-fucking you to make you cum faster

i see her at-home outfit as a band/silly tshirt with the sleeves torn off, plaid boxers, and mismatched fandom socks

sends you godawful memes when you text

never learned to spell properly; sometimes gets certain words wrong too and its a little funny

takes up the whole damn bed, snores, it's like she's having a seizure once she shuts eyes

your first impressions of her are flirty, nonchalant-ish???, and overall genuine. once your relationship gets deep, you start seeing how silly she is, her smaller flaws, how she actually acts around people she loves

© 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒊𝒂.

[nothorses]

hi sorry to bother u about this, i searched around transmasc subreddits for an answer to this and while i saw a few people joking about getting dry cramps, nobody seems to know what this is. and i vaguely remember seeing a post by you mentioning "mystery cramps" in a post also about vaginal atrophy, but I didnt pay attention to the post much at the time bc at that point i wasnt experiencing atrophy or mystery cramps.

but now I'm a bit over a year on T, (my periods stopped only about 4 months ago though, because i was on a much lower dose than most for a lot longer time than most. that ~4 months ago time frame lines up with upping my dose from 0.2 to 0.3ml. i'm on 0.4ml tho now as of about 3 weeks ago) and suddenly i'm getting "mystery cramps" sometimes, it seems to happen especially the night before my T-shot day, (but i cant say that with certainty—i know i'm having them right now and my shot day is tomorrow morning, and i think thats been the case, but i dont know for sure) and they feel exactly like period cramps. to the point where i feel super paranoid that maybe i've been injecting improperly and the testosterone isnt absorbing right and my period is actually coming back. (something i often have nightmares about)

i searched your blog again for that post and did find it, (the one about estradiol cream treating it) but the wording of it is a little unclear and i wanted to just clarify that this is the same thing youre talking about? or if what im experiencing is different than the "mystery cramps" you meant and i should see a doctor

I am for sure not a doctor, and I think you should see one either way!

My personal understanding of the "mystery cramps" is that it's a part of "vaginal atrophy" that some, but not all trans folks who go on T experience, and it usually doesn't start until a couple of years on T ( which is also, to my knowledge, based on more standard doses as opposed to "low-dose" T).

Mine started about two years in, and was happening occasionally at first- always at night, and often the day before my T shot- then progressed to several nights a week over time. Nowadays I tend to experience cramping almost every time I so much as miss one dose of estradiol. Ibuprofen and Midol are the only OTC pain relievers that seem to do the trick, and the cramping will keep me up through the entire night untreated. It also tends to come in fairly predictable waves (spaced maybe 15-30 minutes apart) and right before I started estradiol, I remember getting some light spotting as well.

iirc, I talked to my PCP when it was just starting up, and their response was along the lines of "that's weird, let's keep an eye on it". I moved and didn't have a PCP for a while, so when the spotting started, I went to a walk-in urgent care clinic and talked to them. They gave me a referral for an ultrasound, and encouraged me to go to a "women's health" clinic that had long history of specializing in trans care as well. When I talked to the folks at that clinic, they encouraged me to go through with the ultrasound (I didn't), and prescribed estradiol cream because I asked them to and they didn't see a reason not to try it.

If you think it's possible this is what's going on with you, I would really encourage you to talk to a doctor, specifically bring up research around this issue and estradiol cream as a treatment option, and ask them if there's a reason not to try it just to see if it does anything for you. If nothing else, estradiol cream also treats vaginal dryness, tightness, and inflammation (other symptoms of "vaginal atrophy"), so it might be worth a shot for those reasons anyway!

And don't do what I did; if they want you to do an ultrasound or whatever else, go with it, and rule out other possibilities. Listen to medical advice from medical professionals who know your medical history and who you trust are listening to you & know what they're talking about.

[chleem]

Not a big deal pt2

miniseries; basketball player drew x high scl student reader

Summary: You lose your virginity to a random guy at a frat party miles away from your home. A few days later, you find out that he’s your brother’s competitor, for the regional colleges’ basketball tournament. 

Genre: strangers to lovers, smut, angst, fluff

Warnings: cursing, age gap (18 & 24), protected sex, etc.

⋆.˚ please dont copy my work, if inspired please tag me

⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read

♡⸝⸝ p1 | p3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Can I have your number?”

A guy from the WCU team came up to you, while you were waiting for Luke. Your parents left due to a job emergency, and left you with your 'responsible' older brother. But currently, he was taking forever in the men’s locker room, and you were getting hit on by a guy from the WCU basketball team. 

He wasn’t ugly, but not handsome either. He was tall (duh) and…just, not your type. He said his name was Gus, and forced some small talk with you, which resulted in him asking for your number. 

“Um, sure,” you awkwardly smile, even though deep down you didn’t want to give it to him. When you reach for his phone, he purposely makes his hand brush against yours, which just gives you the ick. 

Huh. Let’s give him Luke’s number. That would be funny as fuck. 

You type in Luke’s number, giving him a smile as you hand it back to him. “Thanks,” he smiles, gross, and then texts something. “Did you receive it?”

You pretend to check your phone, and nod. “Yeah.”

“Great, um, then… I’ll text you,” he bites his lip, slipping his phone back in his pocket. Is it the end of this conversation? Please, let this be it. But of course, it isn’t. “We have a party, going on tonight.”

“Really?” You pretend to be intrigued. 

“Yeah, to celebrate the winning team. You should…you should come,” Gus invites. 

Oh shit. You really didn’t want to go, especially if you were going with this guy. Please, make something happen so you can reject this guy. 

And as if God heard your prayers, he sends an angel to your rescue. Just, not the angel you expected. 

The door of the men’s locker room opens, and both of you glance to see who it is. 

Drew. He comes out in a fresh set of clothes, wet hair, towel around his neck, and duffle bag hanging on his shoulders. Fuck. He looked soooo good. 

“So are you up for it?” Gus asks, turning to you. You literally had to force your eyes away from Drew. Plus, Gus says it loud enough for Drew to hear, who’s not even a meter away from you. 

You get ready to reject him, when Drew suddenly joins the conversation, wrapping an arm around Gus. Your eyes widen at his interruption, him smiling as he glances between the two of you. “Gus, who’s this you’ve got here?”

His blue eyes stare into yours; bringing you back to that night. 

His question lingers in the air, and he squeezes Gus’ shoulder to get an answer out of him. “Um, y/n. This is Drew, our captain.”

You didn’t know why, but you hoped that Drew would tell Gus that he knows who you are, and that you’ve met before. He doesn’t; instead, he says, “Nice to meet you,” followed by a wink. A wink that Gus doesn’t notice, too busy staring you down. 

Oh. Oh. You feel yourself get a degree hotter, physically. 

“What were you guys talking about?” Drew asks, glancing at Gus. 

“Um, just the party tonight. I’m asking y/n if she would like to come with me.”

Drew turns back to you, his eyebrows furrowed. Fuck. What did that expression mean? “It sounds very interesting,” you say, faking a smile at Gus. “But uh, I support the ECU,” you joke, pointing to the jersey you were wearing. 

The two guys' eyes scan your body, but only one of them really got to see what was underneath the jersey. “It’s open to the public,” Drew says, his eyes still lingering on your body. 

You bit down on your lip, trying to suppress your smile. Okay, so maybe he would like to see you at the party. “Where is it?”

“The hotel next to ECU, where we’re staying. Room…302, I believe?” Gus turns to Drew for confirmation, who just nods, forcing his eyes back to your face. 

You stare at Drew, who’s got a small smirk on now. “Open to the public,” he murmurs again, the smirk turning into a small smile now. 

God must hate you, because he sends the devil to your side during the crucial moments. The door to the locker room opens yet again, and when you glance at who it was, it was Luke. In fresh clothes, just gotten out the shower, and looking like he wanted to murder someone. 

His expression turns even meaner when he sees you with the WCU team members. He goes and stands closely beside you, his presence very pressuring. “What- what’s going on here?”

Fuck. Luke sounds like he wants to pick up a fight. You glance between Gus and Drew, who looks alarmed but confused at the same time. “Nothing; you took forever,” you tell your brother instead, hoping he can brush it off. “You should go get a cab.”

You push his shoulder to get him moving, but he doesn’t budge. He furrowed his eyebrows at you, before turning to Drew. Your brother wasn’t born yesterday; he knew they were hitting on you. “She’s a minor.”

Your brother always said that, whenever he found guys hitting on you. It scares them away, but you didn’t want Drew to be scared away. 

“I’m not,” you say firmly, trying to meet Drew’s eyes. “I’m 18 already.”

“Shit,” Gus comments, shocked. “I didn’t- I wouldn’t have hit on you if I knew you were so young-"

“So why are you still standing here?” Luke rudely comments. 

You just focused on Drew’s reaction; he’s looking elsewhere now, his other hand now scratching the side of his face. He’s definitely in shock, because you didn’t tell him that you were 18. But, what’s wrong with being 18? You’re a legal person now, so, was it that big of a deal? 

“Yeah, so sorry,” Gus apologizes, which doesn’t make you feel any better. You feel much worse. Wow, thanks a lot, Luke. 

You don’t miss how Drew’s eyes flicker over your body, while shock is still written on his face. 

“You should be. She’s still a kid,” Luke continues to say. “Didn’t know you were jerks off and on court.” Okay. Now your brother was just being petty about losing. 

“Could say the same about you,” Drew suddenly speaks up, his eyes turning to Luke. He stops scratching his face, biting on his lips now. 

Right. You’re suddenly reminded of Luke’s push at Drew towards the end of the game. Fuck. You wanna ask if he’s okay or not. You don’t even glance at Luke; he’s probably even more upset now.

“We gotta get going though, we’ve got stuff to do,” Drew adds, squeezing Gus’ shoulder again. 

“What stuff? Hitting on more minors?” Your brother gives them a nasty smirk, thinking his comment ate. 

“Actually, the local news are interviewing us,” Gus says, which comes out as a flex to your brother. “But, again, so sorry.”

“Yeah, we’ll, see you around,” Drew says, awkwardly glancing between the two of you. His eyes meet yours for a brief moment; and it was filled with shame and guilt. 

It doesn’t take an expert to analyze that look: he regrets sleeping with you. 

They walk outside the building, Drew taking his arm off Gus. Your eyes can’t help but follow them, watching their every move. You see Gus showing Drew something on his phone, and he grabs it out of his hand, examining it. Huh. What did he show Drew?

“They didn’t deserve to win,” your brother’s comment makes you pull your eyes away from them. Right, you’re reminded of this fucker that you’re unfortunately related to.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Is the first thing you say, genuinely pissed. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“What? Sorry for trying to protect you,” Luke says back, the anger in his voice matching yours. “Seriously, I don’t get enough credit for being a loving brother.”

“‘Loving brother’?” You laugh, as you walk towards the door, pushing it open. “No, you were just being a jerk. That was purely for your ego.”

“Ego my ass,” Luke follows behind you, the two of you walking side by side but not looking at each other. “You think I want to spend my time worrying about you?”

“Well, that’s exactly how you spend your time,” you angrily reply. 

“Can’t help it; I’m your brother, y/n. Nothing will change that,” Luke says. You roll your eyes, stopping at the cab sign, hoping a random cab will drive by. “But y/n, can you promise me one thing?”

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows, turning to your brother. 

His expression softens, and he lowers his voice. “Don’t- don’t get involved with the WCU guys, okay? Can you promise me that?”

Too late. “Why?” You ask, curious. 

“Imagine if I became friends with someone you hated a lot,” Luke says, and you imagine him with your classmate that you found annoying as fuck. Yeah, that image pisses you off. “Same goes for WCU. That…if I won, that would’ve been the turning point for me. But I didn’t. And I have every right to be upset.”

You stay silent, biting down on your lip. Shit. “Any guy, y/n. I wouldn’t care. Just, not them. Promise me that.”

How can you promise that when you’ve broken it in the first place?

A cab drives by, saving you from having to answer. “You got money?” You ask instead, holding your hand out to gesture the cab to stop. It stops, and you open the door. 

A small smile appears on his face, shaking his head lightly. “You owe me a lot,” he says, as you get in. 

“And you don’t complain, because you’re my ‘loving brother’,” you throw his words back at him, as he gets in the cab. 

He shakes his head again, before telling the driver the address to home.

Shit. This was awkward, you think. No involvement with WCU guys. Impossible, when you lost your virginity to one of them. And not just any one of them, the captain of their basketball team for god’s sake. 

——

How did you end up alone with Drew, in his hotel room?

Despite what your brother said, you still showed up at the WCU party. A very rude thing to do. But you figured, as long as no one from his team saw you here, it would be safe. For all he knows, you’re at the library studying. 

It went well at first; you showed up at the hotel room Gus told you, wandering around awkwardly. A few minutes and couple of drinks later, you bumped into Gus. He's definitely more flirty and pushy now, under the influence of alcohol.

It was Drew that saved you, butting in and forcing Gus to refill his drink. 

And now, you were in his hotel room, sitting at the foot of his bed. Drew leaned against his small kitchen sink, staring at the floor. This was more awkward than talking to Gus. 

You take the chance to look around; his washed clothes hanging by the window, unmade bed, messy dining table with his textbooks, and his luggage opened, some items just spread onto the floor. 

You play with your fingers, looking everywhere but Drew. Why did you agree to be alone with Drew, in his hotel room? It was weird, and very dangerous. 

It felt like time had stopped, until Drew spoke up. “So…you’re 18?”

“Yeah,” you nod awkwardly, your gaze turning to Drew. He bites down on his lip; looks of guilt written all over his face. You did not like that. “Been 18 for a very long time. So…”

Silence. Again. 

Drew seems to be in a spiral, trying to process everything. 

The silence was nerve-wracking; what was he thinking about? 

“Wait…” he starts, running a hand through his hair. He looks at you with furrowed brows, his eyes squinted slightly. “You…you’re…were you a virgin that night?”

Shit, shit, shit. 

“Tell me the truth, y/n,” he seriously says, scratching the corner of his mouth nervously. 

Something about his blue eyes make you want to surrender everything to him. You look away; focusing on the floor. “Yes,” you breathe out, “that was my first time.”

“Fuck,” Drew curses, and you glance at him. He’s clearly stressed, even starting to walk back and forth in front of you. “Fuck…I asked you that night. Why did you lie?”

“Would you have fucked me still?” You ask, sounding way bolder and rude that you expected. “Even if I told you-“

“I’m 24, y/n,” he interrupts. 

Drew’s 24? That’s…six years older than you. Oh wow.

But for some reason, you just can’t find yourself hating this age gap. It was one night, and both of you consented to it. So, was it that big of a deal?

“Do you wanna…sit?” You start, seeing how stressed Drew was. Drew hesitates; but eventually sits down on the spot you patted. You lick your lips nervously, glancing between his lap and yours. “Do you regret it?”

You ask; only because you need to get it off your chest. It was suffocating you; wondering it he regrets or hates that he slept with you. “No,” he answers almost instantly. You look up at his eyes, behind the stress, was softness and admiration in them. “I don’t. I enjoyed it, I…I enjoyed it.”

That makes you smile, and you shyly look down at your lap again. “Me too,” you whisper. And you can’t believe it, but you admit to him, “you set the standard high for me.”

That actually makes him laugh, and he covers his mouth in attempt to remain serious. You smile even wider, butterflies in your stomach that are proud you made him laugh. He shrugs, “Pretty easy when I have no competitors.”

You poke the side of his ribs, causing him in flinch in pain. You furrow your eyebrows, “are you okay?”

He rubs the part you poked, but shrugs, “just fell on my back today. Wasn’t bad.”

Oh. Luke pushed him. That must’ve hurt like hell, yet he’s acting careless. “You’re lying. Lemme see,” you reach for his shirt, and surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you. Instead, he leans down on the bed, tucking his arms behind his head. 

Woah. This angle of Drew, was crazy. You gulp, trying to ignore how hot he looked in his position and focus on examining his lower chest. You lift his shirt, and see some bruises that you didn’t see the last time, all over the side of his abs. Shit. “I’m gonna kill him,” you threaten, anger building up at Luke.

“Happens all the time,” he says, hooded eyes looking at you. “Really; this isn’t the worst that’s happened to me.”

“Hard to believe,” you look at him, your head slightly tilted. You couldn’t help but trace your hands on the outline of his abs; what a perfect body he has. 

“Broke my arm two years ago,” he says, and you gasp, to which he just nods. “Yeah, and the guy refused to pay for the bills. Really, your brother’s not the worst.”

“Did I tell you he’s my brother yet?” You suddenly rethink, wondering how he knows you’re related to Luke.

“You guys look identical. Almost thought you were twins.”

Very offended, you press on his bruise, causing him to flinch, hard. You giggle, putting your hands back in your lap. “Don’t say that, ever again.”

“Yes ma’am,” his eyes land on your lap. “Keep doing that.”

“Do what? Press on your bruise?”

“No; the thing you did earlier,” his voice suddenly drops lower.

You trace on his abs again, “this?”

“Yeah,” he says.  

The sudden urge to kiss him is strong. And the way Drew looks at you, he wants to kiss you too. 

“I want to kiss you,” he admits as well, a small smile on his lips. 

You kiss him lightly as a response, leaning onto his body. Drew seems to miss you, because he kisses you urgently and hungrily. One of his hand wraps around the back of your neck, flipping you over. Now, you were under him, the feel of his dangling necklace was against your throat.

You kiss him, trying your best to show him how much you’ve missed him as well. But, it seems like Drew was winning, with his boner pressing your lower stomach. You couldn’t help but laugh, and Drew pulls away from you with a confused expression. “What?”

“Awww, does kissing me turn you on?” You tease, feeling bold and confident with Drew on top of you. You run your hands through his hair, feeling how soft it is. 

��Insanely,” he admits, a small smile on his lips now. He returns to kissing you, before moving his lips down your neck. He sucks on the skin there, causing your back to arch in pleasure, your lips moaning his name. 

His hands slip under your dress, playing with the fabric of your underwear. But just as his hands get ready to slip in, he suddenly comes to a stop. He rubs your inner thigh, resting his head against your neck.

Then, he gets off of you, laying on the spot beside you.

What? You’re really confused, and you sit up, looking down at him. He’s covering his face with his hands, and you ask, “Why did you stop?”

“I… I don’t have a condom.”

Fuck.  

“Plus, this isn’t right.”

Excuse me? “What, what are you talking about?” You laugh nervously, wondering where he was going. His hands were still covering his face, so you had no idea if he really means anything he says. 

“You’re 18. This isn’t right.”

“Wow,” you scoff in disbelief.

You thought that when he kissed you again, it meant that he was okay with this. But he isn’t. In fact, he’s nowhere near okay with how young you were. Then why did he kiss you again? Why get hard at the simple act of kissing you? “Unbelievable,” you murmur, looking away from him. 

This age gap is a bigger deal to him than to you, it seems.

“I just…this isn’t right,” he says, coming out unclear since his hands are covering his face. 

You furrow your eyebrows even harder. Why won’t he look at you? Is it that shameful? Having involvement with you? “Why are you covering yourself?”

He doesn’t respond; so you admit, “now you’re making me sad by not even looking at me.” 

That makes him take his hands off his face, and you meet his blue eyes. He’s trying to not express it, but it’s really evident; Guilt. Guilt for wanting to sleep with you. “This isn’t right,” he repeats again, more softer this time.

You look away from him, biting down on your lip, “good to know.”

Drew sits up now, and he wraps his hand around yours. You quickly pull away; you feel disgusting now. Disgusted, by how he’s disgusted by you, by your age. You’re so stupid, thinking that Drew was going to want to sleep with you again.

Silence. Again. 

“I really like you,” he suddenly admits. 

“But you don’t want me,” you say, finding his sudden confession really stupid, not at all flattering to hear. 

“Don’t say that.”

“But that’s how you feel, isn't it?”

"No. Not even close," he murmurs, so low that if the room wasn't dead quiet now, you wouldn't catch it. “Do you like me too?” This question, he asks much louder, and you feel his stare burning down the side of your face.

“Does it matter? ‘This isn’t right’,” you throw his words back at him, which makes him lick his lips awkwardly, looking back down at his lap. Why can't he make up his mind? God knows you have, but what about Drew?

You roll your eyes, standing up.

“Where you going?”

“Leaving. I’m so stupid for even coming here in the first place.”

You look down at him, expecting some kind of reaction at least. But no. His eyes stay glued to his lap. And still no reaction, as you walk out his hotel room. He doesn’t follow you, call your name, nothing. He does nothing, nothing to try to stop you from leaving.

——

“Where’ve you been?”

No answer.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

No answer again.

“Y/n.”

Luke grabs onto your arm, stopping you from escaping to your room. 

You look up at his eyes, seeing the concern in them. 

And you don’t know why, but you cry. You cry, and Luke just brings you into his arms, hugging you. Being in his arms make you cry even harder, the tears flowing out like a waterfall. 

Luke doesn’t question it; simply just hugging you. 

You didn’t know that a boy from West Carolina would effect you this much. Affecting you physically and emotionally. Weird. 

Do you like me too? Yes, you think. I like you, even though I know nothing about you. I like you, even though you’re years older than me. I like you, even though I’ll never see you again. 

I like you, which is not a big deal. Not at all.

-------------------------------

word count: 3.4k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: 😶‍🌫️ y'all prob hate me for this ending... BUT im open to making a third part ! imo, at the end of the day, drew will still feel weird for being with an 18 year old, despite being crazy attracted to her. idk, depends, would you guys want a third part, or is this a good end?

anyways, thanks for reading and enjoying the first part! flashing lights ch5 will be out this week <3

[opiopal]

random mc stuff that I dont want to be their own post so HERE WE GO.(a lot if not most of theses are cracked out lmao)

imagine an Mc who noticed certain dirty things in the HOL and REALLY wanted to something about it but couldn't cause they were still a stranger. so once all the pacts are made Mc immediately goes around the HOL and attacks all the spots that bug them.. and isn't afraid to vocalize their complaints. "lucifer, when was the last time you guys washed these curtains?? you know what, don't answer that, I can already tell that the last time these were washed I hadn't even been born yet." "who is in charge of sweeping?? there is so much dirt under these rugs!! common guys, seriously???" "Mammon, Levi, twins.. I love you guys SO much.. this is commmon knowledge at this point... but cleaning your pillow cases is NOT enough you NEED to also wash the pillow itself. you guys are gross. gather up your pillows we're doing a soak." "beel. come here and lift me up. I'm dusting the chandelier." "Lucifer, I do not CARE if you're working right now your shelves are littered with dust. either ignore me or go take a break because I'm not leaving."

once during breakfast the brothers could hear cerberus growling and grumbling in the basement, it was annoying but they were trying to ignore it until they realized Mc wasn't at the table.... which of course once it was pointed out they all rushed to the basement.. only to find cerberus laying on its back and Mc sitting above it and quickly rubbing and scratching under each heads chins while going "good boys!!!! good puppy!!!!" and cerberus very happily whining and grumbling with their tail thumping on the ground. when they manage to get Mc away from the silly, the only explanation mc gives it "there is a massive three headed dog that lives in the basement and is feared by 6 out of the 7 men who live here, how could I NOT pet them??? clearly no one but lucifer does!!"

imagine an Mc who is a selective mute, and normally communicates through ASL and notes. the first time they talk is after knowing the brothers for a GOOD amount of time, and its not a sweet wholesome moment no no. Mc comes home with Lucifer after they finished running errands, and the HOL had been: flooded by levi summoning lotan, the living room had been torn up by satan, the kitchen was in pieces because beel got hangry, asmo had joined in on the chaos after his bedroom got damaged as well, mammon was struggling to keep everyone together, and belphie was sleeping on a chandelier. of couse it dies down the moment they all see lucifer and mc got home, and before lucifer could say anything Mc threw their ars up and went "guys what the FUCK we've hardly been gone for an hour!!" of course all the chaos is forgotten for a second and replaced by multiple "YOUCANTALK?!"s, which then shock and amazement turned to shame as they realize the first time they were graced by Mc's voice was because they were being idiots and Mc was upset at them.

imagine an Mc who isn't really used to people caring all that much about them, and finds it very odd that the brothers+other characters care so much. so once their birthday comes around its turned into a birthday WEEK because Mc is being gifted things and being taken out everyday until their actual birthday, which BAFFLES them, so when their birthday comes its a huge event, Dia hosts the party at his castle, there are so many presents you'd think it would be for a family of 18 on christmas day. and when Mc is sat infront of their cake they can't help but suddenly start crying, while everyone is panicking the only thing Mc can say is "I-*hic*- love you guys so much!!" once they realized it was happy tears there was much less panic, and it was forgotten about for the rest of the evening.

You guys remember my post about pacts marks and Mc feeling a demons sin really strongly after making a pact with them??? well this relates to that. imagine if mc feels something strongly that sin kind of takes over for a while until mc is satisfied (asmo enjoyers do what you want with that info), so imagine: theres just a day were Mc doesn't get the chance to eat, first they slept in and just had to rush to RAD, then they had to skip lunch because they agreed to help a few clubs with advertising and projects, then they had to stay after for a student council meeting, then, just as they think they can maybe grab a snack they get held up again, by the time everyone is going home all the brothers can sense Mc's aggression, half way to the HOL lucifer says that they should just go eat at hells kitchen. so they're all seated, and the second Mc's food gets out they dont even bother with utensils, they just grab their food with their bare hands and eat like they're a starved dog. of course the brothers are concerned as to why they're acting like this, and mammon reaches to put a hand on Mc's shoulder as he says "hey- are you ok-" but he cant even finish talking before Mc jerks their head and nearly takes a few of his fingers off, though they dont bite him cause he moves away fast enough with a "EEP" and Mc's teeth loudly click together. so from then on the brothers make sure that Mc is able to eat something throughout the day if their schedule is packed to reduce the risk of losing fingers. honorable mention is Mc getting praised to much one day that the amount of pride they feel almost puts lucifer into a coma.(satan and belphie sometimes praise Mc a bunch to distract lucifer while he's working, another cheeky win for the anti lucifer league)

imagine an Mc who gets so over protective of the brothers, like CRAZY protective. there is a point were they hear someone talking SHIT about their found family trope, so ofc the reasonable reaction is to tackle the demon down to the ground and almost bite their ear off like some sort of rabid raccoon. another time Mc squares up with some sort of magical mythical beast in protection of the brothers, almost won and would have if the brothers didn't stop them.

imagine an Mc who is very introverted and is secretly a fanfic writer, so one day levi and Mc are hanging out, he's just rambling about whatever, until he eventually mentions that a fic he was reading hasn't gotten updated in a while and ist just so frustrating to him. when Mc asks which fic he was reading, he pull it up and shows them... which Mc realizes thats THEIR fic... and outloud without thinking they mumble "oohh I forgot about that one..." and levi freaks out and immediately is questioning what they mean by that. which they eventually have to admit it.

Imagine a little kid Mc, I mean like, LITTLE, as in like 7-8 yr. and they are just such a sweeite, and they work so hard. but I can also imagine that when they're first sent there and the introductions are happening, when lucifer introduces himself Mc immediately interupts and goes "lucifer?? like the cat from Cinderella?:0" and then ofc when mammon is assigned to take care of the child he is a lot nicer at first, I wouldn't be surprised if having Mc around reminded him of his younger siblings when they were that small,(yes I am a believer of the brothers being at least little kids at some point in their angel lives) but then eventually gets Mc to go along with a few schemes, which they both have fun cause really it just turns into bonding. then ofc asmo adores this little creature and has little dress up parties and helps Mc get ready for school in the morning so they always look their best!! lucifer gave him permission for this since he agrees that Mc should look put together despite being a child. I still think it takes a while for the brothers to warm up fully to Mc, but it goes by a lot faster since mc quickly becomes their new little sibling. I think it would be cute if what won over lucifer is Mc coming into his office at some point, saying that they have something for him, and gives him a drawing, lucifer ends up scooping them up to sit with him and they explain what they drew, and its mc and all the brothers:( that drawing is almost immediately framed and put up where everyone can see it.

thats all for now, but I have a LOT of Mc what if's and imagines, my fingers hurt from typing now lol.

[atlabeth]

i crumble completely (when you cry)

pairing: sebastian sallow x fem ravenclaw reader

summary: there's only one way to get into salazar slytherin's scriptorium.

a/n: hogwarts legacy was 70% off, i bought it and it's good but not good enough in all the ways that matter so im fixing it for myself. no i dont know why this is where my inspo is when i have so much unfinished stuff but just go with it

wc: 2.1k

warning(s): angst but hurt/comfort angst! a more in depth scriptorium scene so crucio is used but this is from seb's pov so lighter descriptions of all that fun stuff

“Ominis, you have to.”

“I’m not doing it!” he exclaimed. “What do you not get?”

“Would you rather die here?” Sebastian spat. “Because if you don’t, that’s what will happen. And I’ve become rather fond of my life over these past few minutes.” 

“I refuse to use dark magic,” Ominis seethed. “You of all people should understand, Sebastian!” 

“I don’t understand why you’d let us die instead of casting one spell!”

He barked an incredulous laugh. “It is not just one spell! God, you—”

“Can you do it?” 

Sebastian’s anger faltered for a moment when you spoke up, and he frowned when he saw you were looking at him. “What?” 

“Can you do it?” you repeated. “Can you cast the curse?” 

“I—” His mouth fell open and shut as he looked between you and Ominis, before they finally settled on you. “—I think so. Not well, but—”

“Then you can do it,” you said. “Cast it on me, and we’ll be out of this mess.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened as he said your name in disbelief. “You can’t be serious!”

You stared at him. “Do I look like I’m joking?”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Ominis cut in. “I know what it feels like—you’re not putting yourself through that. We’ll find another way.”

“There is no other way.” You gestured at the letters on the ground, his aunt’s last mark on the world. “You’ve got the answer right here, and a willing victim. What are you waiting for?”

Sebastian grimaced. “Calling yourself a victim isn’t helping.”

“The only reason you’re willing is because you don’t know what you’re signing up for.” Ominis’s blank gaze pointed at the ground, but his sharp words hit you all the same. “It’s unimaginable, excruciating pain. Every one of your nerves exploding, your bones being crushed to dust, your blood turning to fire. You will never forget what it feels like.”

You crossed your arms, trying to ignore the chill settling over you. “Well, it’s either that or we sit around here until we die.”

“Even if he wanted to—”

“Which I don’t!” Sebastian cut in. 

“He would have to really mean it,” Ominis finished. 

“Again, which I don’t!” he exclaimed. 

“That just means it won’t hurt as much,” you said. “Should take away some of your reservations.”

Sebastian huffed. “There is something wrong with you.”

“And you were all for this when it would be Ominis casting it on me?” you asked, tilting your head.

“I— I figured he would cast it on me!” His eyes widened. “I— I could teach it to you, and you could cast it on me!”

“Will the two of you stop bickering?” Ominis asked. “It’s not making this any better.” 

“Of course,” you nodded. “Sebastian will cast the Cruciatus Curse on me, and we’ll be out of here. Okay?” 

Sebastian stared at you, your steely gaze having already met his. You’d always been stubborn, unyielding—he’d known it since you bested him in a duel in your first ever meeting. 

Ravenclaw hardheadedness, he figured. Always assuming you knew best (you usually did), that you were right (you usually were), that you could handle whatever ended up in your path (you usually could). 

And here you were, standing right in front of him, those determined eyes unwavering as you practically begged him to cast an Unforgivable Curse on you. 

Did you know that he wasn’t even sure he could cast it on you? Not just because it was near unthinkable, but because he had no idea if he could scrounge up enough ill will towards you to even partially want to hurt you. 

Did you know that you were the reason he’d started doing better in classes? That, no matter how much he complained about your study sessions together, that he could have been doing something much more productive, he treasured every moment with you? 

Did you even know that the mere thought of causing you pain made him want to retch? That, yes, he may very well choose death over imparting the torture curse on you? 

Did you even know how he felt about you? 

Sebastian pulled his wand out his robes, his grip tightening in an effort to stop his hand from shaking. “You’re sure about this.” 

You nodded. “It won’t leave any physical wounds. It’ll be over sooner than you know it.” 

He huffed as he glanced away. “You shouldn’t be the one reassuring me.” 

“I don’t mind,” you shrugged. “Just… buy me a pint of butterbeer when we get out of here. Then we’ll be square.” 

“You’re not exactly aiming high,” Sebastian said wryly. 

You smiled. “My mum always told me it was the simple things. Now, do it before I lose my nerve.” 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, once, twice, three times as he adjusted his hold on his wand. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember the wand movement, but instead, he saw your face. 

The first time he met you, when you embarrassed him in front of the whole class by beating him ina duel. When you asked him to take you to Hogsmeade for the first time, and you ended up taking down a troll—how beautiful you looked with the glow of exertion beneath your skin, when you turned to him with the widest (and maybe first) smile he’d ever seen from you in the wake of your efforts. 

How could he do something like this to you?

He pushed the doubt down. There was no other way. You wanted him to do it—wanted him to save them all from a very boring, very preventable death. 

Something in the scriptorium could save Anne. That was worth anything. 

Sebastian took in a deep breath. He brought forth every negative thought—the goblin that cursed his sister, his housemates that believed in nothing but blood purity, his uncle that refused to believe in him, refused to even try to save Anne. 

None of it to do with you, who had done nothing but support him since you helped him up from the ground after pummeling him into it, but he tried to project it onto you anyways. 

He raised his wand. 

He opened his eyes—your gaze hadn’t moved. They showed no fear, no anger, no emotion at all but steely determination. 

“Crucio!” 

Red light arced from his wand to your body. You crumpled to your knees the instant the spell reached you, skull-splintering screams echoing throughout the small room as the curse wrapped its way around you. 

Your scarf fell from your neck, your robes pooled around you, your knees and palms scraped the stone as you tried to support yourself in any way. Your agonized wails were deafening, and Sebastian nearly lost it right then and there, nausea rising in his throat. Ominis’s blank, widened gaze fell on the wall, his hands clenched into fists as he fought to keep his expression even. 

You were one of the strongest people Sebastian knew. Always infallible, always so smart, so level headed in the face of his impulsivity. Naturally gifted at magic, and somehow willing to tolerate him. And he’d been forced to reduce you to this. 

But it worked. Your screams of pure torment unlocked something in Salazar Slytherin’s sick design, and the door of tortured faces pulsed with red energy before sliding into the stone. 

Sebastian rushed over the moment the door started to open, his wand falling from his grasp in his haste and his eyes wide with fear and concern. He went to touch you, but stopped just before he could—he didn’t want to hurt you more. Your entire body rose and fell with your beleaguered breaths as you rolled on your side, your every movement labored. 

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed. “I— I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

You couldn’t respond, the pain still arcing its way through your body despite the curse being done. You inhaled sharply as your eyes screwed shut, and you nodded. 

“You’re clearly not okay.” The slight waver in Ominis’s voice betrayed his unaffected stature. “That was remarkably stupid.”

“Ominis—” Sebastian started, but you shook your head. 

“It worked,” you interrupted as you lifted a shaky hand to point at the now revealed scriptorium. “Couldn’t… couldn’t be too stupid… could it?”

“There is something wrong with you,” he whispered. You could only manage a pained laugh at his words. 

Sebastian stayed there with you as you fought through the last few convulsions—he said nothing when you grabbed his hand, bit back his wince when you squeezed tighter than a vice. After what you just went through, he could bear something so small. 

Your breathing was still labored when he finally helped you up. Your legs nearly collapsed beneath you, but he kept you upright. 

“You’re okay,” he whispered, desperate to reassure you. “You— you’re okay.”

“I told you I would be,” you said. 

“You did,” he conceded. “I keep forgetting you’re always right.” 

He got the slightest smile from you at that. Sebastian glanced over when he heard footsteps, and he saw Ominis approaching. His whole body still held a tenseness, but he was sure it was for a different reason this time. 

“…You took that well,” he finally said, and he held out your scarf. 

Again, another laugh and another wince. “I really didn’t. But thank you.” 

You reached for the scarf, but Sebastian got to it first. He gently draped it around your neck, taking special care to keep the Ravenclaw emblem in the front. You had a lot of pride in your house. 

“How’s that?” he asked softly. 

“Perfect,” you nodded. “Thank you.” 

He nodded too, and Ominis cleared his throat. Sebastian turned back to him, his cheeks tinted slightly pink. Ominis held his wand, and he took it back before shoving it back into his robes. Casting any sort of spell felt dirtied right now. 

“Thank you,” he said. “I… I’m sorry about all this.” 

“…Thank you,” Ominis echoed. “Let’s just get out of here before any more of Slytherin’s tricks find us.” 

“No arguments here,” you mumbled. 

Ominis walked in, and though your eyes followed him, you lingered back with Sebastian. He still supported you, one of his arms interlocked with yours. A part of him was worried that you would collapse again the second he stepped away. He could feel your chilled skin even through your robes—no wonder you always wore your scarf. You ran colder than a mermaid. 

“I’m so sorry,” Sebastian said quietly. 

“You already said that.” 

“Because it’s true,” he said. “These curses are unforgivable for a reason. You never should have had to go through this.” 

“Well, I forgive you,” you said. “We had no choice, and I asked you to do it. And,” you gave him a wry look, “it didn’t hurt that much, so you clearly didn’t mean it.” 

He couldn’t even laugh at that—he kept hearing your piercing screams, agony beyond all reason. He would surely hear them for weeks to come in his sleep, see your prone form every time he closed his eyes. 

He felt you nudge him in the side. “Hey. Perk up. I’m okay. Besides,” you gave him a sideways smile, “Rowena would be proud. Anything in the name of knowledge, eh?” 

That got the slightest of smiles out of him, and he shook his head. “There’s—” 

“Something wrong with me, I know. That’s the third time today.” You tilted your head towards the scriptorium. “Now, shall we get what we suffered for?” 

Sebastian nodded, and the two of you walked in, him still supporting you. Ominis had already made his way up the stairs—he really did want to get out as soon as possible. You had your wand in your free hand and had already murmured a quick Revelio, eyes darting around in an effort to unearth any secrets. 

“That brain of yours never stops, does it?” 

Your lips quirked. “Never.” 

Another beat of silence as you searched the alcoves together. He couldn’t help but watch you—you were a Ravenclaw in her natural habitat. Your brow creased just so, your pretty features honed to a single point of focus, cycling through all your thoughts at breakneck speed despite what you just went through. It made his heart swell with something he couldn’t quite name, right beside a gnawing hole filled with guilt.  

“I really do owe you a pint,” Sebastian murmured.  

You laughed. Lighter, this time, and with only the slightest grimace. “Make that two.” 

A smile crossed his lips without him even thinking. Sebastian was so glad he had you in his life—he was only sorry he had to wait until fifth year. 

“Deal.”

[somerandomdudelmao]

I think the thing I keep coming back to is not the enormity of their love it's the mmmm. Consistency maybe? I'm not sure that's the right word.

It's the way it manifests, right? Because of course they love each other, they're family, they're each others whole heart. Of course Mikey will sacrifice his youth to burn the kraang out of Casey. Of course Raph would give the generator at his heart to keep Leo and Mikey and Casey safe. Of course Leo would stay behind with Mikey in a ruined world. Of course Donnie would walk onto a battlefield half dead and fight the kraang off for his brothers. Of course Casey would break the laws of the universe to bring the four of them back.

Of course they would. Because they're each other's whole world. There's no ask that's too large. There's no task too impossible. There's no fight that's too dangerous. Of course they'd hand out these actions, these definitive declarations of love.

Because what other choice is there? When the options are do it or let your family suffer the answer is obvious. The answer is easy.

And those are wonderful ploy points, they're wonderful dynamics and moments and declarations. But they're not what I keep coming back to.

I keep coming back to Leo giving Mikey his hoodie when Mikey wants comfort. To Casey wrapping baby Leo in blankets. To April finding the Jupiter Jim movie and bringing it to watch with Donnie. To Donnie making Mikey young again. To Leo giving Casey piggyback rides, and swinging him around for fun. To Mikey letting Leo's scarf and tassels float with magic. To Donnie letting Casey lay on him. To Raph commiserating with Leo that Casey doesn't remember him. To Mikey comforting Raph when he lost his eye.

To Donnie showing Casey the rain.

Because when you love someone it's easy to give everything for them. To sacrifice yourself, your safety, your life. When the problem is "do something or watch them suffer, watch them die" there's no question to be asked. There's no alternative action to be taken.

But it's harder to remember to do the hundreds of insignificant things that are the actually important bits. The things that you dont have to do. Because no one will die if Mikey doesn't get Leo's hoodie. No one will be in danger if Leo's scarf doesn't blow in magical wind. No one would worry if Casey never saw the rain.

But they're love isn't just about saving each other or protecting each other. It's not about the sacrifice, it never has been.

It's about waking up each day, and spending each moment caring for someone so deeply that you take the time to find your old hoodie wherever it thrown last. Trusting someone so wholly that you share the ways you feel, even when you know there's nothing to be done about it.

Because in the end Casey wouldn't have known to miss the rain. He couldn't have cared either way about it. But Donnie wanted Casey to experience what he viewed as a small joy.

And I think that's what I've been circling for the last 500 or so words. The small joy. And the constant, consistent, never ending effort of creating that small joy for the ones you love. For comforting them. For making them smile.

And what I come back to, over and over, is that the huge moments, where it's all or nothing, when it's time to put everything on the line for those you love, means absolutely nothing unless it's backed by hundreds of thousands of moments where you sacrifice nothing more than a bit of time, or a bit of effort, or a bit of convenience. If you haven't spent your whole life doing the things that aren't a given, and aren't necessary.

Ohhh, it does things to my brain.

One thing I keep reminding myself of throughout the creation of a comic is consistency. I often want to twist some situation so that it's something new and surprising for the characters. You know, in terms of emotions and dynamics.

When Raph bot came home alive and Leo cried. A little voice inside me was saying "what if this is the first time Casey sees Leo cry? Show his reaction! Show how surprised he is!"

Or when Mikey levitates someone. "Come on, draw a surprised face. Levitation is surprising!"

All those little family moments. I keep reminding myself that they are not a group of strangers who become family. They are family. The family family. The familiest family ever jfjfbfhdksk

So instead of

"oh wow did he do that??"

it's

"well of course he did that."

It's about caring and giving and loving to the point where it's something naturally subconscious.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

A TRAGEDY THAT'S BUILT ON DESTINY!

I WOULD CHANGE MOST EVERY SINGLE THING. I WOULD LET YOU KISS ME, KILL ME!

synopsis// multiple different universes, but one thing remains the same: geto loves you in each and every one of them.

pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader

word count// 5.8k

contents// different universes, angst, satisfying angst?, hurt/no comfort but also hurt/comfort at the same time, ooc geto?, character death tehe

notes// inspired by everything everywhere all at once and the song kiss me kill me by mest :3 i wrote this SOOOO long ago but u have no idea how much i adore this oneshot. like i think it might be my fav oneshot ive ever written. it is everything to me!! and i did not do the idea justice but u get the point!!

December 24th 

You assume the fight is over because neither you nor Shoko have gotten any more wounded victims. The two of you glance at each other briefly but don’t bother saying anything. What could be said about a full-blown borderline war schemed by your high school best friend and lover? Nothing could possibly be said, so nothing is. The two of you stand there waiting for anything to happen, whether that’s getting called back to Jujutsu High or being brought another victim, and eventually something does happen, and Shoko gets a call. You can’t read her expression for the whole 20 seconds she’s on the phone before she passes it to you. You furrow your eyebrows in question.

“It’s Gojo,” she says blankly before attempting to hand you the phone again.

You hesitate to answer. “Hello?”

“You should get down here,” he says blankly over the phone.

“What? Why? Is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah, just—you know those back alleys by the school?”

“Uh huh?”

“Meet me there.”

“Gojo, you’re kinda scaring me-“

“Y/N, just come; you’ll thank me—I hope.”

You frown and begrudgingly agree, “Okay, fine, yeah, whatever, I'm on my way.”

“Make it quick, alright? I'm serious,” he adds quickly before hanging up.

As you give Shoko her phone back, you roll your eyes at the fact that he didn't even give you a chance to say okay before hanging up.

“What was that about?” she wonders, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

You sigh. “No idea, but he wants me to go meet up with him for some reason.”

Shoko hums curiously. “You should get going then; must be urgent.”

You nod, “Yeah.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

It doesn't take you long to get to the school given how fast you were walking since Gojo told you to hurry it up, the tense anticipation aiding in your speed. It does, however, take you a few moments to find Gojo, but once you do, you find that he's not looking at you, but he’s speaking, and it's not to you either; it's to something—or rather someone—he's blocking with his body.

“Gojo?” you ask once you finally reach him.

Gojo turns to face you, a sorrowful smile on his face, before stepping out of the way to reveal who he was speaking to and the whole reason why he called you here in the first place.

When you see Getou on the ground, your heart sinks into your stomach, and your blood runs cold. You look back at Gojo, who merely shrugs.

“You should say your goodbyes; I already did,” Gojo whispers before leaving you and Getou alone.

Getou lets out a hushed laugh. “That’s a little melodramatic of him, don’t you think?”

The hammering of your heart roaring in your ears makes it difficult to hear what he says. You stand there frozen in what you can only describe as horror as you stare down at Getou, who's missing an arm and is only growing more pale by the second from blood loss.

“Do you plan on ignoring me?” he asks softly, as though he’d understand if that really was your plan.

You blink a few times and shake your head, your tears blurring your vision. “I dont-“ 

Getou hums appreciatively and smiles up at you, which makes you completely break down, a sob racking through your body so violently that the only thing you can do is collapse to your knees. Getou winces as he tries to sit up straighter, as if he’s going to catch you or crawl over to you. You sniffle, your sobbing uncontrollable, as you crawl to him, and once there, you let your head fall upon his blood-stained chest. Getou immediately places his only remaining hand on the back of your head, as if holding it to his chest, and gently pats your head.

“Are you an idiot?” you snap.

“Might be.” 

You sob even harder into his chest. “Why would you do this?”

Your question makes his heart race. “I wanted something better for Jujutsu society.”

You shake your head at him disapprovingly. “Why’d you have to go about it this way?”

“I don’t know Y/N," he sighs. "Does it make a difference?”

You scoff, raising your head to glare at him. “Of course it does, you idiot! You left! and had a hit placed on you! Why couldn’t you have just stayed?” You sob, letting your head fall back onto his chest. “Why couldn’t you have wanted me as much as you wanted this? Why couldn’t... Why couldn’t you have wanted me as much as I wanted you?”

“Y/N,” he coos regretfully, as if he doesn’t know what to say, which he doesn’t. He did want you, and he’d even go as far as saying he wanted a better jujutsu society for you so you wouldn’t have to live your days slaving away for the non-sorcerers. “Y/N, look at me.”

You shake your head and screw your eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. You don’t want to see your first and only love withering away right in front of you.

“Y/N, please look at me.”

“I-I can't."

“Y/N, open your eyes.”

The demandingness dripping from his voice has your head shooting up to look at him and your eyes opening wide, but as you open them, you’re not met with an actively dying Getou; you're met with a sunny and flower-filled meadow? You move to wipe your tears, but your face is dry. You blink a few times, trying to take in your new surroundings, given that a moment ago you were just in a dark alley and now you're sitting on a blanket in a field under a glowing sun.

“Y/N?” Someone speaks from beside you.

Your attention is drawn to the person. “Getou?” 

He smiles at you.

“Getou, where are we?” you ask, now starting to slightly panic.

He looks at you in confusion. “We’re on our date?”

Your chest heaves up and down, and you're more confused than ever. “Huh? But- We-“ 

“We what?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“We were just behind Jujutsu High; you were missing your arm, and-"

Getou scoots in closer to you and cradles your face in his hands. The feeling of a warm, full-of-life Getou touching you brings tears to your eyes all over again.

“Woah, woah, love, calm down. What are you talking about? Jujutsu High? Me missing an arm?”

“You don’t remember?” You croak out, distraught, and slightly convinced that you’re going crazy.

“Remember what, love?” he asks softly.

You stare at him in disbelief. “The fight—you wanted a better jujutsu society, and you tried? You lost your arm! You were dying; I saw you! I was there with you! You were covered in blood and-“ 

Getou gently wipes your tears away. “Love, that didn’t happen. I’m here, yeah? and I have both my arms, and there was no fight for Jujutsu society? Whatever that means..."

You blink at him, dumbfounded. “What?” 

“It was probably just a bad dream, Y/N.” He smiles at you reassuringly.

“You don’t know about jujutsu society?”

“Am I supposed to?”

You stare at him in awe. What’s happening? How could he not know about jujutsu society when it was the very thing he was fighting for? But then again, how could he not be missing an arm? And how could the two of you not be in a dark alleyway right now? How could any of this be happening? Maybe he’s right; maybe it really was a bad dream. A very vivid, detailed, lucid, and lifelike bad dream.

“I guess not,” you respond with a frown.

Getou wipes away your last few tears and smiles at you. “You’re okay; I’m okay. We’re okay. It was just a bad dream, love.”

“Yeah,” you say haltingly, "yeah, I guess it was..."

“Are you okay now?”

You nod as you take one of his hands off your face and into your own. “Yeah, I think so... Um, where are we, Getou?”

“On our weekly date?” He answers curiously as he removes his other hand from your face.

You look around at your surroundings curiously. “In the middle of a forest?”

“This is your favorite place, Y/N,” he says, quizically.

As you take another glance around, you hum, not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing. “I can see why; it’s beautiful here.”

He raises his free hand and grips your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “Y/N, are you okay? How come you don't remember?”

You look into his eyes, and something doesn't feel right—as if you're not meant to be here—but you digress and shrug anyway. “I don't know...”

He frowns briefly before leaning in and giving you a quick peck on the lips, and you practically melt, having not felt his lips on yours for far too long.

“That's alright. We can still make the most of the rest of our day, right?”

You nod, and he smiles at your response, letting go of your face and hand to open his arms to you, inviting you into his embrace. You return the smile before laying yourself in his arms, trying to ignore the rising feeling that something is wrong, but you can't because the minute your head touches his chest, you're thrown into a moment, a memory, a dream? where you're back in the alley with your head on a bleeding-out Getou, and it's just for a split second, a flash in time, but it's enough to make you go stiff and your breath hitch.

Getou rubs his hand down your back soothingly. “Hey, what's wrong?”

You swallow harshly and try to concentrate on the green scenery in front of you rather than whatever you keep seeing. “Nothing, I'm fine. It's fine.”

Getou places his head on top of yours. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I am.”

He hums disapprovingly but doesn't press the issue any further; instead, he just runs his hand up and down your spine in an attempt to calm you down, which works as you begin to relax into his embrace and regain control of your breathing.

“What do we usually do here?” you ask, breaking the silence.

He shrugs. “Usually just talk about our days, our future plans, and stuff like that.”

You hum. “Is it nice?”

“Very nice; I like spending our days together.”

“I do too,” you correct yourself, “or I'm sure I did too.”

Getou doesn't say anything; instead, he lays himself down and, since he's holding you, takes you with him. You sigh contentedly and let your eyes flutter close, the sun and his hold keeping you warm. Suddenly, even with your eyes closed, you can tell it's getting brighter outside, and you groan. You’re about to ask what's up with the sun when a shooting pain in your head causes you to wince. Your heartbeat rings in your ears, and you can feel your hands grow clammy.

You feel unstable, as if you're no longer on the ground being held, as if you're floating through time and space, and the uncertainty forces your eyes open, but you're not met with anything—no, that's not right, you're met with everything, glimpses of time that you can barely make out. One moment you see Getou at an alter, and then you see you and Getou nodding to each other in determination, and the next glimpse is of you, Getou, Gojo, and Shoko laughing about something before you’re hit with another shooting pain in your head. Screwing your eyes shut, you hiss in pain, and all too suddenly, you're back on stable ground, no longer floating, and the brightness you could see through closed eyes a moment ago is gone.

You still hesitate to open your eyes, unsure of what you'll see, but when you can just barely make out that you're not where you were before, your eyes shoot open. You're now standing in the doorway of what appears to be the room of two teen girls, and Getou is sitting at a vanity staring at you; his hair and make-up are done, and he's frowning. Despite your confusion about where you are, you can't help but burst out into a fit of laughter.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Oh haha, yeah, keep laughing.”

You slap your hand over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. “What happened?”

He crosses his arms over his chest and looks away, mumbling, “Our daughters thought I would make a very good model, apparently.”

You go to laugh again, but it hits you, and you look at him like he's crazy. “Sorry, daughters?”

He returns the look. “Yes? Our kids?”

You look away, muttering to yourself, “We have kids...”

You didn't mean for him to hear it, but he does anyway and instantly stands up and makes his way toward you. He grabs your shoulders, drawing your attention to him, and when you look at him, he's staring back at you in concern.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You want to take him seriously, but truthfully, you can't when he’s wearing bright pink lipstick and bright pink eyeshadow. He does look cute, though. You try to bite back a smile.

“I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously when you look like that.”

Getou sighs. “I know I look amazing. Can you try to ignore my beauty for like five seconds and tell me why you’re acting like you don't remember our kids?”

You frown. What are you supposed to tell him? That you're apparently having nightmares upon nightmares about different lives with him? And now you're not sure what's real and what's not? You can't say that, so instead you shrug and merely mutter, “You do look amazing like that, though.”

His head drops to the side at the same moment that his smile fades. “Y/N.”

“I don't know.”

“You don't know?”

“Some really weird shit is going on, Getou,” you breathe out heavily.

He doesn’t say anything, instead grabbing your hand and leading you to one of your apparent kids' beds, where he sits you down.

“What’s going on?”

“I don't know, and you wouldn't know either so,” you explain vaguely in frustration.

He gives your hand a squeeze. “Maybe I would?”

You shake your head. “I don’t wanna waste time on that; I don't know how long I have here.”

“What?” he asks blankly. “What do you mean you ‘don't know how long you have here’?”

“Getou,” you whine, not wanting to think or talk about it because you wouldn't even know where to start; all you want is to learn about this new nightmare and what it holds.

He relents. “Okay, I won't ask.”

You smile at him and let a moment of silence pass before asking, “What are they like?”

“Huh?”

“Our kids—daughters.”

Getou hums. “They’re great; we raised them well.”

“They are especially great at making you a model, huh?” you snicker. 

He laughs and rolls his eyes. “Oh whatever, you're just jealous they never make you model.”

You shrug. “What are their names?”

“Well, we were gonna keep the names they had when we adopted them, but they ended up not having any names at all, so we settled on Nanako and Mimiko.”

You stare at him in awe. “Did you pick the names out?”

“We both did,” he recalls fondly and vividly, as if it were just yesterday that the two of you were picking out names.

“And we are...?”

He kisses your cheek before answering, “Married—we’re married.”

You hum and raise your left hand, your gaze fixed on your ring finger. “I don't see a ring?”

He hums curiously. “You were wearing it this morning? Maybe you dropped it somewhere?”

You nod. “Yeah.. Maybe..”

Getou doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t know what to say. What could he? His partner of multiple years suddenly has some form of amnesia and can't remember that they have kids, let alone that they’re married to him. You turn to face Getou. He looks like Getou—like the Getou you know, who apparently was merely a nightmare. Besides all the makeup and stuff, he looks like Getou. He says he’s Getou, but something just feels off.

“Are you real?”

He nods. “Very real.”

You look around the room, taking in the messy vanities, the messy beds, and the drawers stuffed with clothes. “Are our kids real?”

“Extremely real.”

You study his face for any hint of uncertainty, and when you find none, you ask, “Am I real?”

He narrows his eyes at you and hums curiously. letting go of your hand only to bring both hands up to your face and start smooshing your face together, pushing and pulling at the flesh on your cheeks.

“Getou,” you mumble.

He hums approvingly and nods, letting his hands fall back to his sides. “Yep, you’re real.”

You smile at his idiotic antics but appreciate them nonetheless. And although you can touch him and feel him, and he is real, as are you and your kids, it still doesn't seem real. And then, all too suddenly, your head starts throbbing again.

“Fuck no, not again,“ you panic.

“Y/N? whats wrong-“

You can't hear what he’s saying anymore; it's like you've gone underwater and he's speaking to you from the surface. Another shooting pain in your head has your eyes screwing shut, and you know you're fucked when all you can hear is your heartbeat ringing in your ears and feel your hands grow clammy all over again. You’re back to feeling unstable, drifting between time and space once more, and just like last time, the uncertainty of the feeling forces your eyes open, and you're faced with everything again—more glimpses in time that you can barely make out.

One moment you think you see yourself back at the beginning on Getou’s cold chest, and then you see yourself and Getou covered in blood, and you're not sure if it's yours or someone else's, and the next glimpse you see is of Getou on your cold chest, like your roles had been reversed, before you’re hit with another shooting pain in your head. Screwing your eyes shut, you wince in pain, and finally you're back on solid ground again, no longer floating, and the brightness you could see through closed eyes a moment ago is gone. This time you don't hesitate to open your eyes, and you find yourself in a cemetery.

You look around curiously, trying to assess your surroundings while simultaneously trying to recover from whatever just happened. But you're starting to realize something now. All of this is real. You laying on Getou’s chest was real; having a picnic with a perfectly fine Getou in a world where curses apparently don't exist was real; having kids and marrying Getou was real; and all of those little bits of time in between each new life were real. All of it was real—is real; all of it happened—is happening; it just didn't happen to you specifically. Not this version of you, at least. You’ve realized that you’re experiencing different universes and living alternate lives of your own. You didn’t think alternate universes existed, but it's not too hard to accept when the world you live in—the world you belong to—is riddled with curses and sorcerers. You are not above believing in alternate dimensions.

Finally over your sudden epiphany, you're able to realize that you weren't immediately met with Getou like you had been the past two times you got transported into another dimension. As you put the pieces together, a grave feeling washes over you—no Getou, and you’re in a cemetery. You swallow harshly.

No, no, no.

You start running around the cemetery, inspecting each and every headstone, and praying to the universe(s) that you aren't about to find one that reads his name.

No, no, no.

You keep running, the cemetery seemingly interminable, until you run up behind someone who looks suspiciously a lot like Getou, and when you hear him murmur under his breath, you sigh heavily in relief that it is him, but why is he here? You tilt your head and try to look around him to read the gravestone.

“What the fuck?” you exclaim, stunned.

Getou spins around faster than you can even blink, and he almost chokes on his spit. “Y/N?” His chest heaves up and down as he shifts his gaze between you and the gravestone. “But-but-how-you’re-“

“Dead apparently,” you say, finishing his sentence as you stare at the gravestone that reads, "HERE LIES L/N Y/N."

He stares at you, completely bewildered, and you can see him trembling. “How—how are you here?”

Will something bad happen if you tell him this isn't your universe and there are actually multiple universes out there? Who knows, but you’re about to find out.

“I'm not, well, I'm not supposed to be.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “I'm just hallucinating; you’re not real.”

His reply breaks your heart. “I am real.”

“You’re not.”

You step forward, taking his hand in yours. “I am.”

He finally opens his eyes back up, and he stares at you through tears, completely amazed that you're here, that you're actually touching him, and that you're actually alive and real.

“I don't—I dont understand—you're dead!” He stammers, yanking his hand from yours, and as he breaks out into full-on sobs at this point, he’s reminding you an awful lot of yourself in your own world.

You nod slowly. “In this universe, it seems so... how?”

“What?” he stutters. “This universe?”

You ignore his question. “How did I die, Getou?”

He shakes his head sternly. “No, I'm not saying anything until you explain what you meant. What if you’re a curse? What if I cursed you, holy fuck? Fuck!”

“Okay, curses still exist in this universe; good to know,” you acknowledge with a nod.

Getou snaps, “What are you talking about!?”

You flinch, which only makes him sob harder.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap—I'm just so fucking confused; you're supposed to be dead,” he bawls as he falls to his knees.

You take another step closer and kneel down, drawing him into your embrace and letting him sob into your chest for as long as he needs, ignoring the horrible feeling of deja vu crawling all over you like worms.

“Shh, you're okay,” you whisper, soothingly brushing your fingers through his hair.

He finally starts to calm down after a few more minutes of whispering sweet nothings to him, and once he’s no longer sobbing, he pulls away.

“Answer my question, and I'll answer yours,” he says through sniffles.

You nod. 

“What were you talking about, universes? How are you here, Y/N? You’re dead—or you’re supposed to be...”

“Do you believe in alternate or multiple universes?”

He shrugs and wipes away any remaining tears. “I don't know; I never really thought about it.”

You hum and nod. “Right, so, uh, they exist! There are a lot of universes out there, actually." You let out an uneasy laugh.

He stares at you curiously.

“Obviously, I'm not from this universe.”

He continues staring at you.

“Oh, cmon, curses exist, but you draw the line at alternate dimensions?”

Getou frowns and says, “I guess you’re right... So you’re from a ‘different dimension’?”

You point a finger at him, narrowing your eyes. “Don't air-quote me like you don't believe me; how else would I be here right now if I were supposedly dead?”

“I don't know; that's what I'm trying to figure out!” he exclaims, gesticulating wildly.

“Can you just humor me and hear me out?”

He takes a deep breath before ultimately agreeing, “Okay, fine.”

You clasp your hands together. “Okay, um, in my universe, you’re dead.”

“What?!”

You shake your hands and your head. “Ok, no wait! You’re not dead yet, but, uh, you were like on the verge of death when I got put into another universe.”

He looks at you in disbelief. “And you just left me?!”

“It wasn't on purpose! Why would I want to leave you when you’re dying? I don't know how I ended up here! or in the last two other universes!”

He stops you and asks, "Okay, okay, wait—how am I dying?”

You look away awkwardly. “You wanted to change jujutsu society in… a not-so-friendly way... And, um, you were willing to die for your cause.”

“I'm dying the same way you did?”

You return your attention to him. “What?”

Getou nods. “Yeah.”

You shake your head. “What do you mean you're dying the same way I did?”

“In this universe, you’re the one who wanted to change jujutsu society in a... not-so-friendly way,” he explains sheepishly.

“Holy shit,” you mutter to yourself.

He nods again. “So, in yours, our roles are reversed.”

“And I'm dead already? I didn't even last as long as you?”

“Well, yeah, I guess," he shrugs, "but it worked; there hasn't been a curse, at least not a special-grade one, since you died." His eyes gleam as he looks up at you. “Did I succeed?”

You bite the inside of your cheek anxiously and shake your head.

“I'm dying for nothing, then?”

You look away and mumble, “My Getou is okay with it; he knew he might fail—he knew Gojo was the only one who could probably change anything—but he still wanted to try.”

“Okay, well, this—” he gestures to himself, “Getou isn't okay with it.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, well, you’re also still alive, so it doesn't really affect you that much, now does it?”

“Still! You just told me one version of myself is dead—or dying—and I'm supposed to be chill with that?”

You stare at him blankly. “Your version of me is dead.”

Getou grows quiet, and you can almost physically see how his demeanor wilts away.

“Sorry.”

“It's fine,” he says, shaking his head. “You said you were in two other universes before this one, right?”

You nod. 

“What were they like?”

You smile as you think back on the previous universes: “We were both alive and happy, and we were together in them.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah... and curses didn't exist either.”

“Huh,” he says ambivalently, like he's not sure whether to be happy for his other selves or be bitter that that isn't him. “Tell me more?”

“In the first one, we were actually on a date in some forest that I apparently loved.”

He stares at you wide-eyed, completely engrossed in your retellings.

“In the second one, we were married.”

A smile tugs at his lips. “Really?”

You nod. “We even adopted two daughters.”

“What were they like?” he wonders, enamored by some alternate universe of you two.

“I'm not sure; I didn't get to meet them,” you confess meekly. “But I know their names were Nanako and Mimiko, and they loved doing your hair and makeup. You adored them, and I'm sure I adored them too.”

He nods wistfully. “In your universe, were... were we together?”

“For a bit.” You look away sadly. “We broke up when you, uh, went off and wanted to-“

“Change jujutsu society,” he chimes in.

“Yeah... How'd you-“

“Same thing here, just roles reversed, remember?” He laughs sadly.

You nod. “Did you still love me? even after I'd gone off and did what I did?”

“I did. I do,” he quickly corrects himself. “Did you?”

“I still do.”

The two of you sit looking away from each other in glum silence. It's hard to stay upbeat about your happy alternate selves when your actual selves are currently dying or dead.

“Kinda feels like we got the short end of the stick, don't you think?” Getou mumbles softly.

“Huh?”

“Well, I mean, there are no curses in those universes, and we’re both alive and happy, but in ours we’re dead?” he elaborates.  

You nod reluctantly. “Well yeah, but I don't know; I guess it's kinda nice to know that it worked out in at least one universe.”

“Don't you wish it worked out in ours?”

“Of course I do, Getou; what kind of question is that?" you scoff. "You think I want to go back to my universe just to watch you die?”

“Well,” Getou pauses, turning to face you, “what if you don't go back?”

Your gaze zeroes in on his. “What?”

“What if you stay?…”

You abruptly stand up and chuckle uncomfortably. “Getou-“ your sentence is cut short by an echo of your name that only you seem to hear because you're the only one gazing in the general direction it seemed like it came from.

Getou joins you on your feet and follows your stare, but when he realizes you aren't staring at anything, he returns his sight to you.

“Think about it.”

His voice snaps you out of your trance, and you look back at him with a small frown.

“I'm practically dead in your universe, and you're dead in mine, but we’re together right now!" he says, taking your hand in his. "Maybe the universe put you into mine for a reason— so we don't have to go back to one where we’re not together…”

You struggle to swallow; your mouth suddenly goes dry as Getou stares at you in full, unadulterated hope, and you can't bring yourself to say anything to crush that.

“Y/N, wouldn't that be nice?”

You nod and murmur, “It would.”

“Then?” he asks expectantly.

Someone calling out your name echoes in your head again, and you quickly look down the street to now see a small, bright light in the distance, and you know your time here is soon coming to an end.

“I... I can't stay, Getou.”

His voice cracks as he panickedly asks, “Why?”

"Because,” you explain with a shake of your head, “I'm not your Y/N, and you're not my Getou.”

“I could be,” he says confidently, or he would have if it weren't for the way his voice trembled.

Your vision goes blurry from the tears welling up in your eyes as you shake your head.

“We could try!”

You sniffle and reiterate, “I can't stay.”

“Please,” he begs through his sobs. “Please, we can make it work.”

You look away from him, trying to fight back your tears, but it's futile; you’re a complete mess, just like he is now. “No.”

His hands shake as he grips your face and forces you to look at him. “Y/N, please, I'm begging you.”

“I cant.”

“Don't leave me again.”

The same voice calling out your name echoes in your head again, this time louder, and the bright light is getting bigger and closer.

“I don't want to go back to a universe where you’re just gonna leave me either, but,” you sob, weakly clinging onto the wrists of his hands that are still on your face.

“So stay.”

You shake your head and take his hands off your face. “I won't.”

Getou’s head goes limp and drops as sobs shake his entire body, and you can't help but think that's exactly how you'll look when you return to your universe and have to deal with the death of your Getou.

“Please,” he pleads.

You're both in tears as you lift his head up by his chin to look at you. The voice calling your name echoes even louder, and the bright light is getting closer by the second.

“You’re not my Getou, and I'm not your Y/N.”

He nods reluctantly. “I know, but...“

The bright light is only a few feet away at this point, and the voice echoing in your head is so loud that it's giving you a migraine—you know this is your last few minutes, if that, in this universe, so you lean in and take Getou’s lips into yours—a goodbye kiss for a Getou who you'll never see again, a goodbye kiss for a Getou who desperately needs one when he never got one from his y/n. You pull away and cradle his cheek gently.

“I have to go say goodbye to my Getou now; I think he’s waiting for me.”

He nods. “If he’s anything like me, he’ll want a goodbye kiss too.”

A faint smile tugs at your lips. “I know.”

Getou doesn't get the chance to respond when you're suddenly gone—completely vanished right before his eyes.

You, on the other hand, are back again, feeling unstable as you float through time and space, and again, the uncertainity of the feeling forces your eyes open, but this time you're met with only one thing—the image of you on your Getou’s chest. With every passing second, it grows closer, as does his voice calling out for you, and before you know it, you're back in your body, looking up at him with a gasp.

“Y/N?” he asks weakly.

You're still in tears from the previous universe as you now pull him into your embrace.

He winces, and you quickly let go of him. “Sorry.”

He smiles at you with blood in his mouth and teeth. “It's okay.”

You have to force yourself to look away to try and choke back a sob, but Getou notices immediately and slowly lifts up his remaining hand to cradle your cheek.

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

You nod. “I know.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“I know,” you croak out.

“Kiss me?” He asks out of breath, knowing he doesn't have much longer.

You don't hesitate to lean in and kiss him, ignoring how it tastes like blood and tears as well as how cold his lips feel. You ignore it because he's kissing you back. He’s kissing you with all the power his frail body can muster, and it makes up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, and seconds that your lips haven’t touched. But just as quickly as he kisses you, he stops, but it's gradual; he gradually stops kissing, moving, and breathing. It doesn't take long for it to get to that point, and even when he's not kissing back, you still kiss him with some fairy-tale hope that it will bring him back, that your kiss will somehow save him, like he's Snow White and you're Prince Charming. But it doesn't.

It doesnt.

You pull away to look at Getou, whose eyes are glazed over but not closed. You sob as you reach up to close his eyes, only to let your head fall against his chest. He’s so cold. Too cold. That's why you have to stay there on top of him to keep him warm. You'll stay there all night if you have to. But you don't even get the chance to stay there for longer than a few minutes when someone suddenly pulls you off of him, and you look over your shoulder to see Gojo, who's crying as well.

“He’s gone, Y/N.”

"I know," you sniffle, “I know.”

Gojo helps you up to your feet, his hand on your waist to keep you steady as he leads you away from Getou’s body. The further you get from it, the harder you cry.

But it's okay. It’ll be okay because, even though you lost Getou in this universe, you’ll eventually be able to come to peace with it knowing that in a hundred, a thousand, and even a million other universes, you and Getou are living happily ever after.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[silkythewriter]

Vox and wukong with a cat demon reader!

Warnings: might be a bit OOC! Haven’t written for Hazbin hotel in a while I apologize!

Fandom: Hazbin hotel and LMK

Author note:IM SO SORRY I DONT KNOW WHY TUMBLER GLITCHED OUT ON ME AND DELETED THE WHOLE THING(｡•́︿•̀｡) BUT TYSM FOR YOUR PATIENTS AND THANK YOU FOR THE HAZBIN HOTEL ASK!!!

Summary: Wukong and Vox with a cat demon reader! :D

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! <3.❤️

🝮☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆🝮

🝮☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆🝮

Vox

In all honesty...he finds it adorable, now will he admit that is another question with a different answer..

I'm sure he's seen many upon many of cat demons in his years damned to hell, but you are different in a way he can't pin point. Maybe it's the way your tail flicks when you see him, or how your pupils grow big just at the sight of him. It's honestly a knock out for him

He finds himself curious on how your ears and tail feel. But he would never touch it unless you offer him first which he exeitedly bun-gurglingly agrees.

He's a man that's excellent at words and selling something to you. But when it comes time to actually show Affection it's...a bit rough to say the least.

He buys you special types of conditioner and shampoo for your fur, one of the finest brand might i add, which he hands to you. Simply stating "well if your gonna be seen around me of course you gotta look your best" not that he actually cares for you and wants you happy of course! He's an overlord he has a status to up hold!

Now when it comes to you actually doing cat like things he finds it very interesting and honestly adorable-

I mean look how can he not melt when your purring out words after landing on the soft couch in his office.

One time he petted the top of your head and you let out purr, when I tell you this man’s knees were weak I MEAN IT

he just has a special soft spot for you and the things you do. Like when you were over at his place about to crash on his bed but you just started kneading the soft blanket.

Look he’s a hater on the outside but a lover on the inside he has to keep a rough attitude in a place like hell. But when you guys are alone he’s doting on you more then an actual person with a cat. He just can’t help it

He loves cuddling with you at night, like the warmth you provide him is enough to make him short circuit . Hell is hot enough but your warmth is different kind of warmth, not just the overheating and overwhelming temperature of hell, but the homey feeling you get form a nice hug.

He especially loves when you wrap your tail around him or his like leg i don’t know something about it makes him lose his mind!

Although he dose have to admit finding you asleep in unexpected areas is something he doesn’t hate but doesn’t exactly like either. He quite literally has the best bed and sheets of hell just for you and you still decide to spreed out and take a nap on counter. Now that is something he will never understand

Overall though he loves you to the lower levels of he’ll and back <3

🝮☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆🝮

Wukong

Oh boy… time for our favorite monkey boy phew alright…

First of all get ready for his lil cheeky self to go around and start scaring you

You know that old trend where cat owners would throw cucumbers at their cat? Yea that’s what he dose, not only that but 60% of the time it lands smack dab on your head like it seems intentional from how many times he’s smacked you by accident.

He honestly understands how sensitive ears and tails could be so he would never yank or pull on it as a joke. Trust me he gets and understands your pain very much.

His love language is grooming, so he’s happily sit for a good while just looking through your fur and picking out small particles or maybe small dirt specs. And he loves when you do the same! Honestly a very cute bonding moment he finds it relaxing!

I feel like cat demons are a bit rare to come by, (my guess don’t quote me on this) so he finds your quite cool to look at! Especially if you have some sort of pattern or rare fur color!. He asks you all sorts of questions please don’t mind him he’s honestly curious.

He purrs too so this man dos won’t discriminate when you do it, he honestly finds it adorable just like Vox!, but unlike Vox he doesn’t mind voicing it. Although he dose it too he loves teasing you for it, jokingly of course!

Please send this man your fur care cause lord knows he probably doesn’t own the right things to take care of his fur. He appreciates if you take a day off just to show him, also massaging some of the conditioner/shampoo in his scalp will make him purr and is greatly appreciated.

Honestly I feel like he’d get jealous of those who you also let touch your fur and other stuff. He won’t cop you on it! But he loves when it feels like something only he can do and you trust him with.

As kneading this man has A TONNN of blankets collected through the years of stealing or getting gifted it. So he has tons of blankets on his bed and if he sees you kneading them he’d probably let out a loud “Awe” before tackling you. He finds it adorable! What can he say?

He has good pulse control now then when he did in his younger years but still can you really expect him not to smoother you with affection from how absolutely adorable your being?!?? (≧◡≦) ♡

Please please PLEASE let this man intertwine tails with you or make like a heart shape out of your tail’s. He just finds it so comforting and adorable!

Overall have a cat demon S/O has to be the best for him, he just loves you! And he is very affectionate, it takes him a bit to show it but after a while he’s all over you! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

🝮☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆🝮

AHHHH TYSM FOR THE REQUEST IT WAS SO FUN PLEASE REQUEST AGAIN❤️❤️❤️❤️💘💘💘💘

[horus-unofficial]

hello hello welcome welcome. welcome 2 the HORUS guide 4 HORUS tech aka horus-unofficial.tumblr3.un gives you extremely comprehensive and very useful insight into its "pattern groups" and "licenses". we are your host harold HORUS here today to talk to you about our beautiful darling cunt of a child, the LICH

nobody knows how the lich came 2 be. some buddies of ours say they invented it 9989 years from now which is weird bcos anyone normal would wait another decade before sending that shit back in time to hit that sweet 9999 and keep people guessing as to whether these files actually are from that far in the future, or if the lucky terminal receiving this code just stopped bothering to count the years after 15015u. either way, the lich is here now, and back then, and most certainly at some point in the future, and it kinda looks like we probably did invent it so that means we are in the clear to act like we're the ones who made it!

the lich sucks! its terrible! with glass bones and paper skin and a reactor that overheats at room temperature, a gust of wind could leave a dent in this PG's plating, which is made from samples of styrofoam and bubble wrap warped straight from the insides of pre-Fall packages labeled "FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE" (a perfect bumper sticker for your lich, should you find yourself piloting one sometime within the next -50 to 250 years). you can tell no former members of harrison armory's R&D department were involved in the designing of the lich because the only thing those fuckers know how to do is create industrial microwaves, and the lich's reactor is the most slipshod, poorly-coded shit in the known universe. the only code regulating the lich's reactor is "reactor = cool" and not only are neither "reactor" nor "cool" defined anywhere in the system code, but HOR_OS doesn't even use = signs.

you may ask us, "if the lich is so shit, why do people pilot it?" and we are so glad you asked! generally speaking, answers to this question fall into one of two variations: - "it's a funny mech" - "why is everyone saying i pilot a lich??? i pilot a nelson!!! what do you mean that's my lich frame in the mech bay and i've had it for years, i literally don't have a single HORUS license, @horus-unofficial please advise"

the lich's victorian orphan-esque constitution aside, its biggest strength as a frame is likely its ability to send itself to the seaside for a much needed mental health break should it encounter the slightest hint of adversity on the battlefield. its no wonder the lich is so frail, the entirety of our nonexistent R&D budget went into making this thing the most annoying roleplayer on the playground. "you hit me with your sword? nuh-uh, i dodge. oh you run me through on your spear, killing me instantly? well it turns out that that body wasn't actually me, i've been dramatically looking down upon this duel from up there on those cliffs the whole time!" <- words most commonly spoken by future lich pilots at 11 years old

this allows it to be unexpectedly versatile in combat- with a refundable get out of jail free card and a maximum speed comparable to most of SSC's catalogue, it can weave through dangerous zones in combat with unexpected efficiency, allowing it to support allies from virtually any range, and instigate the occasional skirmish if its pilot is so inclined. we dont necessarily advise that you choose violence as a lich pilot, only that its a more viable choice of function than you might initially think

the lich plays with the timestream with the same enthusiasm as a preschooler in a sandbox, both in regards to itself and anything (un)fortunate enough to be within its sensor range. for every timeline where the lich is playing support for its allies and being so kind and niceys, there's another timeline where it gleefully tears into its adversaries until it overextends and dies respawns in another timeline, and it's through this universal law that an unusually principled lich pilot might find themselves taking a hit for its allies before immediately redeeming that get out of jail free card we mentioned earlier. of course, "principled HORUS pilot" is an oxymoron, so if your squad has a lich pilot what actually happens is more along the lines of being teamed with the biggest fucking nuisance on your planet, who pretends to toodle about the battlefield all combat because the truth is they've been stuck in a time loop for 7 years, and are well beyond the point of caring.

bottom line: if you encounter a lich in combat, dont even bother targeting it. it's unkillable except for when it isn't, and its banned from every omninet roleplay forum in the known universe for a reason

[morgluvsconnie]

BOUND, c.springer

chap.7 | fighting, drinking, arguing, language | chap.6

"these was supposed to be yours yesterday but... you know how that went."

connie said, standing at your door with a bouquet of pink flowers and chocolates. you softly smiled and bit your lip, grabbing the big bouquet and chocolates from him. he then looked at your arm.

"these the same type of roses i tattooed on your arm that night."

you tilted your head. "thank you. really. this the second time you saw me lookin a mess though." you laughed a little.

referring to the bonnet you had on your head and the oversized t-shirt you had on. connie shook his head, "nah, you look good." he laughed. "them was for your birthday though... your third birthday present."

"you funny." you looked at the flowers before looking at him. "you heard from...?"

"he saw my message, he know wassup." connie waved the air before putting his hands back in his pockets. ever since he stayed at your house last night, he never got the feeling to stay away.

you had some kind of hold on him, and it was odd.

"but yeah..." he said after a small silence filled the space between the both of you. "if you feel good enough, eren havin a party at his house tonight. tryna see if you going." he looked at you.

you hummed. "ill let you know." you nodded.

"without my number?" connie frowned playfully. you rolled your eyes with a smile. "i guess you found a way." you mumbled, taking his phone and putting your number in it. "just text me and remind me about it tonight." you said, passing him his phone back.

"i gotchu." connie said, turning to leave. he paused in his steps and turned back around, looking at your lips.

you exhaled, walking closer to him and giving him a peck on the lips. "there." you said, softly pushing him out of your doorway and shutting it behind him.

you walked back towards your stairs and in your room, placing the flowers in an empty vase. "ill put water in you later." you mumbled, sitting on the end of your bed and checking your phone, which you hadn't checked all night.

you had calls and texts from sasha, her asking where you were and if you were getting "fucked."

"what?" you frowned.

"you got fucked last night, i already know. i told mikasa you were either at home slumped or getting fucked. and since you answered, i wanna know who it was, why, and how it was." she said on the other line, making you hum.

"i didnt get fucked by anybody last night." what a liar you are.

"yeah yeah, girl cut the bullshit. i wanna know every detail." she looked at the camera before looking back up and what seemed like her tv.

"okay ill tell you, but sasha dont make a big deal out of it 'cus it was literally nothing." liar.

"i literally wont, just tell me." sasha looked back at the camera.

"so i was with connie-"

"bingo! i just fucking knew it! yknow, i wondered why i couldn't find you and connie after i found ony and i suspected you two were somewhere, and he was beating them doonies down." sasha pointed at the camera, making you roll your eyes.

"alright, whatever. you goin to erens party tonight?" you rubbed your forehead and closed your eyes.

"yeah, and youre going too. you woke up so late, the parties already in three hours." sasha mumbled like it was nothing. "what?" you said in disbelief, looking at the time on your phone.

it was 5 oclock. you really did get put to sleep.

"okay sash, im finna take a shower, dont worry bout picking me up tonight, ill just drive myself. ion plan on gettin wasted no more." you explained, standing up and going towards your bathroom.

"okay girl, love you, bye." she said before quickly hanging up. you put your phone on the bathroom counter before turning your water on and taking a long, steamy, shower.

you really werent in the mood for another party, and you really didnt feel like going out tonight again.

your back was aching, your legs were on the verge of being sore, all because of connie. you didnt even stay out long enough last night to have sore legs from the club, so you knew he was the cause.

but parties were different from clubs. theres was more fighting, drinking, arguing, everything. especially drama.

as you redid your fresh face, applying light makeup, redoing your hair and curling it, and putting your outfit on, you checked the time once again. 7:43pm.

if anything you were gonna be late instead of early due to the sheer amount of people that would crowd the house, even minutes before the official party started.

you grabbed your things, heading out of your house. as you started your car, smacking your lips at the fact that it was cold outside, and you just mindlessly decided to wear a small skirt.

you pulled out of your driveway after starting your music, driving down your neighborhood, pulling your mirror down to make sure your hair looked at least decent after replacing some of the tracks. "damn connie." you shook your head, pushing your mirror back up.

your music got interrupted by a phone call, you glance at your phone, not even looking at the contact before hitting answer. "yeah?" you said, putting your phone in the cup holder.

"wassupppp."

you rolled your eyes, "yes im going connie." you said, taking a turn down erens neighborhood. "well you late." connie said boredly on the other end. "why you wearin that tiny ass skirt?"

you frowned, picking up your phone and looking, not even realizing you were on factime. "why you lookin?" you smiled, sitting your phone in your lap. connie clicked his tongue. "watch yo mouth." he said, walking through the party, at least that's what it looked like.

as you pulled up on the side of the road near erens house, you turned your car off and took your seatbelt off, looking at your phone as you got out of the car. "ima see you in here right?" you walked up to the house, already seeing people on the porch and on the side of the house.

"i hope not." connie mumbled, smiling to see if you found his joke funny.

you hung up.

"not in the mood." you mumbled, opening the door and letting yourself, trying to push past everyone and find where eren and the rest of them were.

"y/nnnn!" sasha jumped up, along with mikasa, hugging you. "i heard about you" mikasa whispered in your ear. you pulled away and frowned at sasha. "dont ask me bout shit else." you pointed at her.

"ight, ight, fuck the kumbaya. wassup y/n." ony dapped you up. "hey ony." you smiled. "damn we cant get no hey?" eren frowned, holding his arms out, referring to him and armin. "can you give me time to speak? hey armin." you waved at armin.

you sat down beside connie, who was looking around the party the whole time. you nudged him a little, the rest of the group babbling about random things.

"you remember what i said right?" you looked at him as he continued looking away.

"bout reiner? yeah, ian worried bout that no mo'." he shrugged, taking a sip from whatever was in his styrofoam cup. your eyes rested on him, you obviously not believing him. connie looked at you and shrugged again. "i swear im not gon touch him." he said, looking you in the eye.

you pursed your lips together before standing up. "sash, mika, come with me, im bouta go get a margarita." you said, making your way to the kitchen and opening the cooler. "girl, why connie lookin so tense?" mikasa frowned, grabbing one after you. you slowly shook your head, finally deciding to tell them about what happened.

"he mad about something that happened between me and reiner. he just got aggressive and grabbed my wrist. connie saw the bruise and i told him not to do nothing 'cus i don't want him to get involved, but he stubborn." you shook your head, taking a sip from your margarita.

mikasa and sasha frowned. "y/n, you wasn't thinking on tellin us about this?" mikasa looked at your wrist. the bruise only faded a little. you looked at the ceiling with a groan. "i don't wanna involve nobody." you mumbled.

you really didn't understand why they wanted to know. yeah, he did put his hands on you, and if anything, you should've told the whole group, knowing they'd jump his ass in a heartbeat.

but you were so damn scared of reiner, you didn't know what he'd do if he caught you by yourself.

"what the fuck he do that for?" sasha squinted. "he thought somethin' was going on between me and connie 'cus hes a fuckin idiot."

"oh yeah, connie needa whoop his ass." mikasa glanced back at where connie and everyone else was. "i know." your lips formed a line, your eyes roaming around the room.

speak of the devil.

they landed right on reiner, who was walking through the crowd. your eyes widened and they went straight to connie. "i know that aint the muh'fucka right there!" sasha pointed. "shit." your eyebrows furrowed.

mikasa looked at you, straight in the eyes.

"y/n. reiner put his hands on you. you don't have a choice but to let connie beat his ass."

you were hesitant.

if you did let that happen, that could mean reiner would target you the most. but if it didnt happen, youd have to hide whatever you and connie had going on.

you didn't wanna hide anything. no, you didn't have to hide anything. you're not a child, you do whatever you wanna do, you fight back whenever you wanna fight.

but seems like before you could even give connie the permission to do anything, he beat you to it. you heard screaming around the spot you'd just left. you, sasha, and mikasa running over and through the crowd to see what was happening.

to your surprise, not only connie was throwing punches, but ony, and eren too. armin recording everything while laughing. with your lips parted and your eyes widened, you walked over to the other side to get a better view of what was happening to reiner and stood there, staring down at him.

his nose leaking, and bruises forming around different parts of his face.

he was trying his best to fight back but getting jumped by three strong guys wasn't the easiest trap to get out of.

"you like puttin yo hands on females? you a bitch." connie said as everyone else got pulled off of him. "dumb ass nigga." ony mumbled, aggressively fixing his clothes as some of his other homeboys pulled him outside to calm down.

"you a whole weirdo ass bitch! jumping one person 'cus you cant fight for yo damn self!" you saw historia run up to reiner, rushing to help him up.

she was always the main problem in your relationship, but just like connie defended you, you were gonna defend him.

"he shoulda never put his damn hands on me, if you got a problem we can take this shit outside too, or nah?" you raised your eyebrows, taking your phone from the side of your skirt to give it to sasha or mikasa, somebody nearby.

you might've been scared of reiner, but you wasn't scared of no little ass girl, or no girl in general.

historia frowned at you before looking at reiner. "whoop her ass." reiner mumbled to historia. that was your cue.

"come on man, ion got no time to waste on yo ass. i can get this over with quick." you shook your head, rushing outside and to your car, grabbing sweatpants from your backseat and throwing them over your skirt.

as everyone had their phones out, you got in the middle of the circle, mikasa and sasha standing behind you to make sure ymir or annie didn't jump in. you pulled your sweatpants up, rolling them up as adrenaline rushed through your body.

as mikasa tied your hair up, she eyed the rest of historias friends. you had no idea where connie was, nor were you worried about it.

"come on y/n." eren mumbled, his hands on his knees as he leaned over, waiting for you and historia to get your round in.

as she stepped in the middle of the circle, her minions screaming for her and most people screaming for you. you posted up, getting your hands ready, as you both went in a circle waiting for someone to swing first, you wasted no time to start throwing straight punches, no hair pulling, no pulling in general.

"whoop her ass y/n, you know what to do! yeah!" sasha cheered you on over the amount of people yelling.

historia was throwing punches, deciding to grab your hair and hold your head down, you, automatically mirroring her actions and pulling her to the side of you, making her trip over her own feet, pulling you down with her.

when you opened your eyes, you saw blood leaking down her face, just like reiner. she tried to kick you off of her, as you felt somebody grab your shoulders, you got more pissed by the seconds.

"let my hair go dumb bitch!" you yelled, whoever was grabbing your shoulders let go and you felt people crowd more around you, the screaming getting louder.

"ight, come on, come on." connie mumbled, grabbing you by your waist, trying to pull you off of historia, someone doing the same to her. but you didn't let go, still swinging hard licks, hitting her in her head and forehead.

"let go, y/n come on." connie frowned, trying his best to pull you away, as he turned his back towards historia, you still had a good grip on her hair. finally deciding to let go, and bring a chunk of her hair with you, you frowned, trying to make your way out of connies arms while yelling violent nothings.

"that bitch know to never fuck wit' me, ion even know why she tried it! she should know bout me!" you yelled, getting dragged away. "shut up bitch, you mad cus reiner finally found the one!" you saw her yelling.

"bitch you wanted beef bout a nigga that be bussin nut and knots in yo mouth, shut up bitch!"

"hush, hush, hush, you drunk. come on." connie mumbled, dragging you towards your car, continuing to hold you. "all three of yall got it out, come on." connie put his hand over your mouth to make you shut up.

you frowned up at him before looking at the ground.

"you good, just calm down. ight? i gotchu." connie mumbled, glancing back at a pissed off eren, storming towards his house.

"he ain't gon hurt you no mo', ight? just get in the car and calm down." connie mumbled. "i wanna go back in the house, ian drunk yet." you muttered, looking back at the house.

"you tryna fight, so no. get in the car bruh." connie looked back again, seeing historias small group leave the house.

"im not gon do nothing to the bitch, ima let her be mad bout a nigga." you mumbled. "i just wanna get drunk." you muttered.

connie looked at you for a few seconds before sighing, slowly nodding. "ima stay for a few mo minutes, but im goin home soon. gotta calm myself down." he muttered, grabbing your hand and leading you back towards the house.

you huffed. "okay."

chap.8

[cookiesandbiscuits]

A Test of Sincerity

Pairing: Lucifer x GN! Reader

Genre: Fluff (I don't really know what genre this is exactly)

Summary: After his failed attempt to test you, Lucifer now finds himself bothered with the silent treatment you're giving him, so he decides to apologize and end it once and for all. They say the way to a man's heart is their stomach; surely the same can be said to you, right?

A/N: I promised to make this so here is my retelling of Lucifer's Devilgram story "Trust and Poison"! (Can you tell how much I adore this story? 😆)

This is basically his side of the story, but with a few add-ons (or cut-offs) since I dont remember the story well despite loving it so much =w=;

I hope you enjoy!

Warning: Spoilers for the Devilgram "Trust and Poison"

MASTERLIST

You weren't someone to be trusted.

That was the sentence Lucifer's mind kept repeating whenever he thought of you.

His brothers might find you endearing, but not him. Not when you were already so familiar of his and his brothers' unique quirks despite just meeting them. Not when you were closely acquainted with the sorcerer Solomon, who is known not only for his incredible power but also for his infamous reputation of making demons submit to his will. Not when you have your way of making him lower his guard, as if he had known you for years.

Surely, you must be hiding something. Something that can affect, or worse, harm his brothers.

He will uncover it, no matter what it takes. And he has a perfect plan for it.

.

.

.

He relishes the way your expression slowly morph into panic as he placed the shiny red apple in front of you.

It was no ordinary apple. It was the Apple of Truth. While it may look like a mouth-watering, juicy apple at first glance, it has the power to kill even a demon if they tell a lie before eating it.

Yes, this was his perfect plan.

If you really were telling the truth, you'd take a bite from the apple and be able to tell the tale. But if not... well, let's just say he'll be glad with the result either way.

A sinister smile formed on Lucifer's lips.

"Well? Answer me. Are you really a demon?"

CREAK

"Lucifer? You're still here?"

Of all the time to– Lucifer clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"What is it, Beel?"

"I'm just here to grab something I forgot... Is that an apple? It looks delicious."

"W-wait...!"

"Beel, no!"

Before the two of you were able to stop him, the sixth-born had already swallowed the apple. And with it, the plan Lucifer had oh-so carefully crafted disappears. It was hard to convince Barbatos to give the apple to him, too.

But what caught the Avatar of Pride off-guard was the panicked look on your face— which was not directed to yourself but to his younger brother.

"Beel, are you okay?! Do you feel weird?! Does your stomach hurt–?!"

"I'm okay... I think. Why? What is it?" Beel tilted his head in confusion.

You let out a sigh of relief before glaring daggers at Lucifer, as if he had done the most horrible thing on the three realms.

"Well, it seems that my job is done for the day, so I'll be taking my leave. I'll be back for tomorrow."

"......."

A loud thud echoed as you closed the door of the assembly hall.

"What?" The eldest said in irritation when he felt the eyes of his brother on him.

.

.

.

He only did what he had to do, Lucifer says in his mind, trying to justify his actions.

Yet why did he still feel so guilty whenever he sees you?

A few days had passed since his failed attempt to uncover your secret, and you have taken it up to yourself to give him the silent treatment.

He doesn't want to admit it, but it has been bothering him ever since. It has gotten to the point that his brothers also go silent when the two of you were in the same room, making the situation more awkward.

Today, however, he decided that enough was enough.

"Is there something you want? I'm planning to buy some snacks in the convenient store."

"I'm actually craving Barbatos's cake today, but I'm fine with anything that's not too spicy. Thanks, Levi."

Another plan forms on Lucifer's mind.

.

.

.

"Are you done for today?"

"......."

His question was met with silence.

"Cancel all your plans this afternoon. You're going to accompany me to the Demon Lord's Castle."

This time, you replied with a glare.

"I won't be taking no as an answer. Now come along."

Lucifer opens the door and beckoned you to go outside first. After a few moments, you complied.

A small smile appeared on Lucifer's face.

.........

You were greeted by the prince and his butler once the two of you arrived on the castle.

"I'm glad you will be joining us for tea today. Come, let us go to the garden!" Diavolo says before leading you and Lucifer deeper into the castle grounds.

.

.

.

"Ahahahaha!"

Lucifer sighed as Diavolo's laugh filled the garden.

"So your plan failed due to Beelzebub's interference, and now they're mad at you. Ahahaha!"

The Avatar of Pride frowned at the crown prince who was clearly amused by the situation.

"It's an awful thing to do! What if something bad happened to Beel?" You ranted.

Diavolo gave you a sympathetic smile in return. "They're right. You shouldn't be testing them, Lucifer."

Lucifer let out another sigh.

"Well, it is perfectly normal to be upset when someone questions your sincerity," Barbatos added. The butler placed a plate of his signature cake in front of you. "Here, have a slice of cake."

"That's why I brought them here as an apology," Lucifer says as he took his teacup from its saucer.

Diavolo looked at him, puzzled. "How is visiting us an apology?"

"They mentioned that they've been wanting to eat Barbatos's cake earlier," Lucifer replied.

This caused you to scoff in offense. "Don't use Barbatos to apologize for your mistake! And stop eavesdropping on other people's conversations!"

"Why, you insolent...!" Lucifer's brow twitched in annoyance as he managed to catch his tongue in the last minute.

He brought you here to resolve the situation, not to make it worse.

"Haha! They might be the only one who could stand up to you like this, Lucifer," Diavolo hummed, definitely enjoying the scene unfolding in front of him.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Lucifer took the fork and stabbed the cake with it.

"The fact of the matter is, I brought you here to make up for my mistake, and you want to eat this cake," he says as he takes a piece of cake with the fork and raised it in front of you. "Here. Open wide."

Now, will you take a bite, and accept his apology? Or will you refuse it and force him to look for another way to apologize?

Well, the rest is up to you to decide.

[b0tster]

As a "not contract bound" dev who works on a project that you are (I assume) completely in control of, how do you choose the release date and why'd you choose one before finishing the project? Asked not in a "why'd you do that to yourself" way but in a "I wanna understand what's the logical process behind it, maybe it is smart to do it and I wanna know why".

I thought that it'd be logical to first have a finished thing and then say that it'll be released at "date_name_wgenever", instead of setting a certain date and then crunching yourself to fit it. But maybe it helps you somehow to not overwork yourself on the project thinking that if you have all the time in the world, why not add a thing or two, which results in project taking forever to be marked complete, or maybe you just have a pet birthday at that date and wanna make it symbolical lol, idk.

let me be clear here

i am not crunching on bbkart, or any of my projects for that matter

---

now, with that out of the way, time to talk about time frames and productivity. our labor doesnt operate on a linear scale. spending a decade on a game compared to a year will not mean that that game will be 10 times bigger. humans just dont work like that.

something ive picked up over the years is that productivity is like a gas: it will expand to fit the box its put in.

if u give urself infinite time, the gas will just dissipate. but of course if u squeeze it into a release thats too tight, u get an explosion (crunch).

now, im more of a 'find the fun' kinda developer. i make my tools and mechanics based on a loose concept and then decide what the game will be after once i have everything in front of me. in that initial period i do not set a release date, its impossible to predict how a games dev cycle will play out, so i dont bother and just focus on finding whats fun.

once the final game actually starts to take shape, i am capable of making an informed decision on how much labor is needed to finish, and i set an internal date that i do not make public. once im a few months out from that date, i will make an adjustment if neccesary (both bbpsx and kart had their internal date pushed back by a month) and then announce it. that sets it in stone and I have a runway to release.

mark darrah (bioware) talks about something he calls the 'hockey stick', which is the idea that once u get to a certain point, completion urgency kicks in and u get the drive to make the decisions neccesary to finish the game. cut this, reroute focus to that, crunch on this (dont do that last one, ever, but its important to bring up where crunch manifests. some advice: you either cut or you crunch. choose cut).

darrah talks about how to trigger completion urgency (one example is making a demo, be it publically released or exclusive to an event) and the fact of the matter is that a deadline will do it. of course, if completion urgency kicks in too close to the deadline, you get crunch, but if it kicks in earlier u will get things done in a way that doesnt leave permanent damage on your body and mind.

i know this is a very long winded answer, but i hope i was thorough enough to explain the benefits of setting a deadline and how that doesnt always have to end in crunch, like the question implied.

[sturniolo04]

Gender Reveal M.S.

Husband!Matt x Wife!Fem!Reader

Summary; Wren and Matt have a gender reveal party.

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

Wren and Matt have been married for little over a year and with being married a year meant trying for the greatest joy you could ask for, a baby. You and Matt desperately wanted to become parents but obviously gave yourself a few months or so to get use to the marriage life you guys had just entered into just getting married in March of last year. So eventually you all began trying for a baby, which was a lot easier than you expected since you and Matt's sex was mind-blowing from the amount of rounds and loads he contributes. He still continues to amaze you.

So here it is you being in your second trimester preparing to find out the gender of you and matt's unborn child.

"hows mama doing"

matt asks coming up to you placing a kiss on you temple.

"im excited honestly"

you state placing a kiss on his lips as he gazes down at you seeing there has always been a height difference between you two.

"i hope its a girl honestly"

nick chimes in appearing from inside the outside

"i want it to be a boy"

chris huffs out plopping down next to Wren.

"what do you want matt"

nick asks his brother

"i dont care as long a she or he is happy and healthy"

he states kissing your tummy.

"oh vomit"

chris gags rolling his eyes.

Everyone eventually joined the party outside and we had finally gotten to the point of the afternoon where we find out the answer to the question everyone was answering for themselves. You and Matt decided that it was best that Madison Beer was the best person to trust with the gender and to plan out all of the revealing accommodations with it.

"are you ready you two"

madison giggles out swiftly making her way to Wren and Matt standing at the huge cream and white decorations she had set up in your guys backyard in her cute baby pink dress repping team baby girl.

"as ready i will ever be"

you sighs out as she links arms with you after she hands you and matt your own individual confetti poppers.

You guys start counting down from three.

"3-"

Everyone in unison screams out

"2-"

you sigh out of complete nervousness

"1!!"

everyone finally screams as Wren and Matt pop their popper launching two colors one of baby blue and baby pink, as everyone screams in shock.

"OH MY GOD"

you scream in tears turning and looking at matt as her grabs the sides of your face bringing you into his lips.

"we are having twins holy shit"

matt shouts in complete disbelief breaking away from the kiss he initiated you rest your head on his shoulder.

"ahh im so happy for you guys"

madison squeals hugging you two

"madison how the hell did you keep this a secret for so long"

chris gasps out

"it was really hard im not going to lie"

she huffs out.

"but we knew you could do it"

matt chuckles out still wrapped in Wren's embrace still savoring the exhilarating moment.

"unbelieveable are yall ready for mini yous to be running around your house'

"oh goodness two of matt you guys are going to have towatch out for I already know he is going to be a player and be sneaking girls in the house"

madison giggles

"oh of course he is i mean-"

matt trails off as wren shift her head to look at matt with a seriously expression expressed on her face.

"matthew no"

you huff out

"no you're right he will not being doing that"

he corrects himself clearing his throat afterwards causing madison to giggle.

Taglist

@mintsturniolo @dirtylittleheart333 @wh0resstuff @spicymuffins03 @stayingstromboli @aaliyahsturn

[hyuuukais]

-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x fem reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> gen, energy is tenseee

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN -> PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE (partially written! wc: 1.4k)

You sigh, placing your phone next to you as you slide down further into your pillows. Time is running out to ask Minho, you know that, and Lily has been pressing too. The deadline for offering interviews lingers sooner than when they start. With a groan, you swing your feet over the edge of your bed and slip them into the bunny slippers previously kicked off at the end of your bedframe, trudging to your door.

Minho is already pouring a cup of coffee into a dark brown mug when you enter the kitchen, wearing his normal work attire; a tight black t-shirt tucked into black jeans and a belt. Sometimes you were jealous of the simplicity. He doesn't notice you lean on the island, back facing you. When he does turn around, he startles, the tiniest drop of hot coffee running down the side of his mug and seeping under his hand. He doesn't hiss at the burn, doesn't even flinch, just puts the mug down and wipes his hand on the cloth hanging off the oven door.

"Dont sneak up on people, it's not nice," he says, replacing the cloth.

You perk up at his voice. "We're talking again, good, that's good. Listen, I deeply apologize for what I said and I don't even believe that, you know? I'm sure your ex loved you a lot. There was definitely a really good reason for her to hide her husband from you. Maybe he sucked! In any case, you're a great guy, so why wouldn't she choose you?"

Taking a deep breath, you refocus yourself. Minho is staring at you from above his mug, blowing gently on the hot liquid. There's still tension between you two, the air thick and hot.

"Was there a point to all that?" He asks bluntly.

"Yes, um. This is bad timing, but have you decided if you're doing Lily's thing or not yet...?" He sets his mug down with a sigh. "Of course, it's okay if you don't want to! Deadlines are coming up though so she needs an answer whether you're doing it or not."

He takes his time answering, sipping his coffee, running a hand through his hair, stretching. Part of you is getting frustrated. How hard is it to say a simple yes or no? Either he's doing it or not, there's not exactly a grey area.

"I'll do it," Minho finally answers, and you barely contain a squeal of excitement.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You run around the island and hug him, nearly knocking over your stool in the process.

It's short-lived, pulling away to see Minho's face painted red, no doubt mimicking your own. Clearing his throat, he nods at you and grabs his coffee, turning away from you. You're about to leave when you remembered what prompted you to seek him out in the first place.

"We're having a game night tonight if you want to join? It's just gonna be the boys, Hyun, NingNing, and I invited Soobin too." You lean against the wall of the hallway leading to your rooms, waiting for a response.

"Ah, I might be working late again, but I'll see what Jeongin is up to. Is it okay if I..." He shakes his head. "Never mind, forget that. I'll either see you or I won't."

"Okaaay," you give him two thumbs up, but immediately put them back down when he gives you a weird look.

-

Game night is in full swing by ten with snacks and drinks taking up the island and bodies filling up the couch. A pile of UNO cards sit messily in the middle of the table, NingNing taking it upon herself to tidy it up every so often, even if it only stays like that for a couple of turns. You're so close to calling UNO, smirking as you place down another pick-up-4 card and watch as Soobin's head slowly turns to look at you with fake disdain. He keeps eye contact as his hand reaches for the deck, barely containing his own smile as he glares at you, and you can't help but giggle.

All night has been like this- teasing Soobin and getting him used to your friends now that you've become a bit more serious. His training under you has finally ended, so you feel less guilty about the whole thing. The only thing is that you still haven't shared it with your boss, but that's a problem for another day. Right now, all you can think of is the way Soobin has his free hand over yours, thumb caressing the back of your hand and only taking it away to place a card down. He fits in nicely with everyone, almost like he's always been there... which makes sense seeing as he was already friends with Beomgyu.

"UN-" you're attention turns to the two bodies walking through the front door, "-oh."

In comes Minho with a girl you don't recognize hanging off his arm, in their own world as they kick their shoes off and laugh at something she whispers in his ear. Neither seem to notice the big group around the table until the girl gives a little, and uncomfortable, wave. Minho has his arm wrapped around her waist tightly, and you follow his gaze to where Han and Beomgyu sit. On their faces are matching angry stares, Han with his mouth open slightly.

"You're kidding," Beomgyu scoffs. "Tell me you're kidding, Min."

"I forgot you were having a game night," Minho shifts.

"Don't ignore the question." You look at Beomgyu, anxiety crawling up your throat. "Why is she here? And why are you acting so... couple-y?"

Han stands, and you can see his hands are shaking. "You got back together?"

"Oh, come on," the girl speaks for the first time, a look of annoyance on her face. "We always get back together."

"I wasn't talking to you-" Han points a finger at her, then directs it to Minho. "You, explain."

"No," Minho sighs. "I don't think I need to. If you're unhappy with your own love lives, you don't need to project onto me. None of you can say shit about relationships here. You're sneaking around because you're ashamed, and Y/n is only with Soobin because she can't get over her ex. Just to name a few."

You avoid eye contact with Soobin, a pang of hurt in your chest, glaring at Minho.

"I'm not unhappy," you say, feeling Soobin squeeze your hand. "You have no right to comment on my relationships because you're jealous."

Hurt flashes over Minho's face for a millisecond, quickly covered by a stoic expression. "Why would I be jealous? People can change-"

"Like hell, they can." Beomgyu stands now, circling around the table and past the couch to get into his personal space. "You said it yourself you don't believe that! And what about your husband?" He looks the girl in the eye and you hear NingNing gasp; you forgot to tell her. "What does he think of all this?"

"We're divorcing," she answers quietly, looking down at the floor. "He wasn't good for me. Not like you'd understand, or even take the time to try and understand."

Her voice turns watery at the end of the sentence, orange hair shielding her face as she curls into Minho's chest. From the shudder of her body, you can tell she's starting to cry. You almost feel bad for her. Taking in her words, you feel there's more to the story than what you know and what the others are willing to listen to, but you're already to upset to care. Han joins Beomgyu, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe we should leave it alone."

"And maybe he should leave, take his princess back to her tower," Beomgyu spits.

Minho's eyes turn dark, jaw clenching. He's holding back hurtful comments, just barely. After another moment of tense staring, Minho breaks eye contact and leads the girl- his ex- back to the front door. Slipping on his shoes, he helps her with her own when her hands prove to be too shaky to tie the laces. When he leaves the room is completely silent, Beomgyu taking a seat next to Hyunjin on the couch and Han walking away down the hall, the sound of a door slamming following his departure.

-

notes -> maybe we were quick to judge his ex...? maybe.......?

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @stayatinykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @multifandomedsimp @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @hyperpixie @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lixie-phoria @aalexyuuuhm @sunflowerbebe07 @st4rhwa @lukeys-giggle @jabmastersupriseee @judeduartewannabe @gaysontheprince @stepout-09-15

^^^ orange means i can't tag you

[luckieduckiie]

im fried | d. dennis

you and your friend are in the club and you spot future… or you think you do.

the lights were dim, a little too dim some may say, but it didnt help that you were drunk either. too drunk, and well maybe a little high too.

“bro, is that future ?” you say to your friend, pulling her close, your eyes wide as you point to the dreaded man standing in the vip section.

“bitch!” she exclaims jumping up and down. “it is oh my god! OH MY GOD!”

a grin finds its way to your face as you look at her.

“im the shit bitch i know.” you say smugly. “ im going to go ask for a picture come one.”

you feel her hand grab your belt loop as she follows you throughout the sea of people, a chorus of excuse me’s and sorry’s stream from your lips as you finally get to the edge of his section. as you are looking up at him you notice the diamond smile he had on his face.

“sir, sir excuse me” you say, well yell. the noise was deafening.

he glances down at you and the smile widens.

“yes gorgeous.” he says, a slight southern drawl playing on his tongue and from the sound of that you should have know that it was indeed not mr hendrix as you had initially anticipated.

“ i love your music!” you say exclaim happily.

“ im sorry, what you say?” he questions leaning down over the edge of the wall that was between you two.

“ i love your music,” you say getting closer to his ear giggling. “ cause i am fried yes fried and very fucked up” you recite the lyrics back to him.

a deep laugh errupts from his as he stands back up causing you to look at him quizzically.

“so, can i get a picture?” you yell, confusion setting in.

“ yeah, yall come on up here sweetheart.” he says the word sending shivers down your spine. he motions for you and your friend to come.

he walks over and meets you at the entrance signaling the man guarding it that you could enter.

you immediately go in for a hug without thinking and your friend who is prepared snaps the picture.

“ oh ok, damn.” he laughs wrapping his arms around you large hands gripping your waist. you cant help but bask in his scent. it exudes sex and masculinity. it smells exactly as he look.

“you smell so good.” you say looking up at him head still resting on his chest.

the look he gives you says it all. “ thank ya.” he says smiling at you then licks his lips.

“ yo friend want one too mama?” he asks lowly eyes still locked on yours.

“oh, shit yeah.” you say pulling away, sighing at the loss of his body against yours.

“here girl.” you say reaching for the phone.

she goes over and just wraps her arm around his waist and his over her shoulder, the other going up into a peace sign. a sense of satisfaction arises in you as you see he didnt embrace her just like he did you but leaves as soon as you see the big smile on her face. she was happy for you and you the same for her, besides he wasnt your man anyway.

you click a few pictures and then she pulls away and thanks him coming back over to you and grabbing the phone to look at them

“yall wanna chill with us for a lil bit?” he asks motioning to the group of guys surrounding him.

“yeah.” you reply without even realizing, looking at your friend and she nods too.

“type shit” he says. you both follow him to the couch and as he sits he leaves room for you both on the side of him.

“so where yall from?” he asks looking between the both of you.

“ texas, but we go to school out here!” your friend answers smiling.

“type shit, what yall studying?” he asks curiosity genuine.

“im working on my masters in business and she is currently working on a phd in biology.” she says motioning to you. “she really smart as hell. tell him bout your research” she says smirking at you and you smile in response, her way of saying he yours girl.

his eyes widens as he look at you and you begin to explain, “ uh yeah my thesis is on the rate of duplication in cancer cells in african americans.”

“oh shit, you gone be a doctor.” he asks.

“thats the goal but i dont know shit is crazy.” you say staring at him. as you look you start to realize he is lacking nose piercings and the signature blond on his dreads.

your eyes widen as you come to the realization. “oh my God youre not future.” you exclaim standing up.

a loud laugh erupts from him and your friend stand up as well when she realizes this and she moves to your side.

“thats who you thought i was?” he is able to say between his laugh.

embarrassment burns through your body at this and you begin slightly angry.

“obviously!” you say irritation heavy in your voice.

as he notices this his laugh stops and smile drops.

“yo calm down.” he says reaching a hand out to grab yours and you pull away disgust on your face.

“dont fucking touch me.” you say grabbing your friend. “come on lets go.” you say grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the exit.

“what the fuck.” you hear him say behind you. you dont care, not only did he laugh at you, he lied to you. or at least in your eyes he did and that alone was enough to piss you off and ruin your night- your high too.

yall im really rusty at writing but i got the idea for this when i was high & i think i wanna do another part or two ! let me know what yall think cause there aint enough on here about dada