#but then more things that are super overwhelming keep happening in my life
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seraphim-soulmate · 8 months ago
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so how do I reconcile with just having big baby loser brain that decided I'd be mentally ill and perpetually stuck suffering instead of having just dealt with my shit in a more normal way? or is there some neuroscience that can explains that I don't have a cringefail brain but it's actually something else??
i mean. it's shame. shame I feel for struggling with things i consider i shouldn't struggle with, which i guess is kinda stupid bcs when i take a step back i realize it's understandable that im struggling with certain things ive lived through. being stuck in them doesn't entirely make sense, but I'm willing to accept that my past shaped me. not to mention that I'm also somehow kind of constantly going through really hard situations on top of also dealing with my past? but it also all (mental illness and emotional sensitivity, I mean) started with something, and my early childhood was my parents getting divorced.
but I consider that banal, plenty of parents get divorced and it doesn't mean their kid suffers from treatment-resistant depression and ptsd. I guess divorce is so normalized now that i don't consider it a valid thing to be traumatized over, at least not to the extent to which ive experienced symptoms. but I was separated from one parent, always missing one or the other, without any explanation that could make sense to a child's brain about why any of this happened and why i have to suffer because of it. can I get rid of the shame by validating the struggles I went through? would that make me feel better about having been disabled by my life experiences?
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 7 months ago
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#caint sleep because my brain wont shut off and also because its super hot#i just keep. thinking#a lot of it is fake scenarios of telling people off that i hate#other topics include: mentally applying to jobs. worrying about my financial state. remembering how much i love my animals#fantasy high. my summer camp job (a loooot of that). my friend that i have a crush on. my rats being incredibly loud#and more! and then it is so fucking hot in my room. like its all boiling. i might be dying of heat (not actually)#but it was raining earlier so i couldn't open my window (i just opened it so im dying less) and we dont have the ac on and i dont own a fan#its a difficult life that i lead#but most importantly: im moving in less than a month. back to my hometown. and im truly not prepared#very much not packed. the place is in a state of disrepair. its unclean#very sleepy. tired. overwhelmed. etc#but its okay! its all gonna be okay. there are things to look forward to and things that make it okay#in a few weeks im meeting one of my oldest friends who is also a tumblr mutual. i didnt know that could happen. but its happening!#so theres that. and also i have a friend i havent seen in a year but we're gonna be working together this summer!! i get to spend#the whole summer with her! and i have animals that i love. and birds exist. and i have a lot of cool friends#and i live with my sibling who is also moving so that's someone to share the burden with#so its all gonna be okay. it just never feels like that when its 6am and youve been trying to sleep for two hours but cant#okay have a good night everyone i love you
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dreamiie4her · 2 months ago
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How i mastered the art of persisting & how yall can too
hello my luvs, lemme tell u, its been a rlly eventful last 2 weeks in terms of me undergo a drastic shift in my mindset and WHEWWWWW, i thought it was time to share with yall
storytime
this past year i told myself i would adopt a strict mental diet where i wouldn't let doubts stop me or anything and lemme tell you, it was such a rocky road. There would be periods of me affirming that i was a master shifter, seek validation from the 3D and then start dwelling in my old state again. This cycle of giving up continued until i came across these posts. I then deeped how i've been overcomplicating manifesting & shifting to the point where i would give up so easily on my new states because "persisting was too hard” when it rlly wasn't. Anyways, lemme share my favourite tips & advice i learnt.
THE ADVICE & TIPS
stop associating emotions w/ states
Once i stopped associating me doubting, being frustrated, etc with my state, i found stuff x10000 EASIER!! I be affirming when i'm sad/frustrated because my emotions do NAWT define me. If something happens in my life, i allow myself to acknowledge it then i affirm on loop that "everything gets better" and the very fact i am a master manifestor.
manifesting will exist whether u like it or not
whenever i feel like "giving up", i remember that no matter if i "give up" on my desires or not, the law of assumption will still operate in the same principle of dominant thoughts materialising ur reality. So that really made me think, why would i not take advantage of knowing about the loa and manifesting everything i want? Like once you find out about the law of assumption, there is no turning back so u might aswell utilise it.
you can never lose your "manifestation powers"
Sometimes i be having thoughts "what if i lose my manifestation powers" and its like?? i will always be able to manifest easily & so will you. You can never "lose" the ability to manifest. Its a LAW. Meaning you will always be able to do it
pick a staple affirmation & loop it no matter what
After utilising robotic affirming, i've felt so much more FULFILLED then i ever did. Trust me when i say, pick one affirmation (e.g. "i am a master shifter") and keep affirming through your doubts, random thoughts, etc. Litreally when you deep it, affirming is basically thinking and thinking is super duper easy. So picking one affirmation and continuously repeating it is so easy even when you feel like your having sm doubts (trust me, once u get in the habit of js affirming, things feel sm easier).
you don't need to believe to manifest
Before some of yall come at me, lemme tell yall something. When i got more serious about the loa this year, i overconsumed a sh!t ton of loa content stating in order to manifest your desires and it made me feel so frustrated whenever i felt doubts/overwhelmed when affirming for my desire. The belief bit will follow natrually while persisting, dont focus on beliving in ur manifestation, keep repeating you have it & your belief of it will feel more natrual as you keep repeating it (if that makes sense)
the 3D isn't the end, keep persisting
I made a post about this but to keep it short & simple, your 3D circumstances aren't permanent. Just because you may be experiencing the opposite of what you want in the 3D, doesn't mean it will stay like that forever and your manifestation "won't work". Keep affirming bb <3
okie that's it for the post <3 i'll probs make a pt2 if i got anymore advice?? but hope yall liked it ;3
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productivefairy · 6 months ago
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your guide to build a morning routine:
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So, do u wanna build a morning routine because it can give your day a structure, boost productivity and just makes you feel better? Here is how :-
start your day atleast 2-1.5 hour before your work or school. so u are not in a rush.
your morning routine should be realistic so that u can stick to it. cause' lets not lie the morning routine u see your fav wellness influencer have is hard to do.
Consistency is the key. The more days you follow your routine the more it becomes as habit.
Dont use phone or social media during mornings There are four pillars essential to have a morning routine which is healthy for your body and mind.
1.Things that keeps your body healthy.
2.Things that keeps your mind healthy.
3.Things that keeps your surrounding healthy.
4.Things that you enjoy.
Lets talk about each one, one by one:-
Things that keep you healthy :-
i) Drink water first thing in morning. If you dont like the taste of water. Add lemon or lime in it or maybe citrus infused water. But please drink water it'll help you sm.
ii)Do stretching, yoga, cardio, pilates, hot girl walks. Basically anything that keeps your body moving. It boosts productivity and puts you in good mood.
iii) eat healthy. Well it doesnt mean count all your calories or drink nasty juices NO. This means eating a healthy breakfast that will keep you full.
iv) Do your skincare and take shower in mornings.
v) Brush and floss your teeth. Oral healths are often neglected but hot girl like you shouldnt do that.
2.Things that keep your mind healthy :-
i) Meditating. Meditate for atleast 5-10 mins before starting your work day. It just stops the rush going in your mind. you can do guided meditation.
ii) If you believe in this then you can do affirmations in front of mirror. universalitgirlblog2 has some amazing affirmations you should check it out.
iii) Journal. If you are someone who enjoys journal then do it as it can set the tone of your day.
iv) . Make to do lists in morning it helps you declutter your day.
3.Things that keeps your surrounding healthy.
i)If you happen to have windows in your room then open them up. Lets the wind and sun come through.
ii)Make your bed. Its a kind gesture toward yourself and a less messy bed can fasten up your productivity.
iii) wash your breakfast dishes. or atleast the plate you ate in. It helps you not have a pile of dishes.
iv) optional but take a dusting cloth and play a song as your timer and just clean the surfaces which seems to have dirt. Just 3-4 mins and you'll feel better.
4.Things that you enjoy:-
This part is super important cause' if you follow a morning routine you deserve a reward and if one someday when u are not your best even then you deserve pamper. I dont know you or your intrest but you do so just add what you like in your routine. You wanna read that book go ahead read it, grab a starbucks drink on your way home, cook yourself a beautiful breakfast, get dressed as main character, water your plants or maybe just stare at the sky admiring them.
What do you do when you are not in the mood or you are on your periods or feeling underweather?
i) Make an altearnate easy routine to do which mostly consist of things that you like.
ii)Do only first step of your regular routine like you dont wanna excercise then just play the video of routine that you follow.
Additional tips-
ROMANTICIZE. This is the key. Enjoying and being grateful for most mundane moments of your day. Buy yourself a flowers. Acts as you are on vogue while doing skincare. Blast your fav playlist in morning.
Dont overwhelm yourself. You cant change your life in a day but you can add habits each day one by one.
Remember why you are doing this. You are doing this cause you love yourself thats why you wanna give everything to your body and your mind to make it its best version.
I try my best to make these post as concise as I can but I just feel like everything is necessary and dont wanna miss out on anything. I hope this helps.
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ireneaesthetic · 7 months ago
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Pointing out little moments and details of my fav s3 scene.
choir practice scene • episode 2
this scene caught me so off guard, in the best way possible.
it only took simon's "you should do an activity you actually like" for wilhelm to drop everything and choose getting to spend more time with him!
simon's reaction at wille joining the choir was also mine: he can't believe his eyes and keeps looking back at him with the brightest smile on his face. and simon shifting wille's attention to where the song lyric is bc it's all new to him is adorable.
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wilhelm's little proud smirk between the kisses while simon is so into it: he knew and imagined simon's surprised and happy reaction to all this, but i bet he was thriving to see it up until this very moment. so he might just be thinking that he made the best choice of his life.
having to practice and wait for everyone to leave was probably torture for simon, when all he really wanted to do since wille came in was this (simon's main love language is clearly acts of service btw *cough*). he felt important, cared for, loved - and couldn't wait to reciprocate it.
also, he's holding the key chain and happens to do the middle finger with the same hand. if you look at it as a way of saying 'mind your own business' to us is quite funny.
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simon setting the rhythm and wilhelm fully going along with it. they don't even separate their lips before leaning in for another kiss - melting into it. they literally said 'no need to catch air bc we're already breathing each other in'.
simon not breaking physical contact even once. his hands are the third main character in this scene: they act like a glue for their bodies and carry so much passion. it is peak chemistry.
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going on his tiptoes to push himself as close as possible and clinging to wille for dear life is the most simon thing he's ever done. love really brings out the cuddliest version of him.
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smiling into the kisses and out of the kisses? insane of them if you ask me (i support it) (keep doing it lovers).
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wille smiling and biting his lip bc he's the one overwhelmed by simon's presence now. physical touch is his love language and he's flooded with simon's - he must feel the luckiest boyfriend on earth.
one of their greatest proofs of love has always been to provide each other's comfort by being exactly what they lack receiving from other people or what they need most of the times - it's a constant learning of how to give and take.
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they can't get enough of it: it's not even only about the kissing but more about their need to just keep pulling the other closer, leaning into each other, slowing their movements to not leg go yet but take time to touch and deeply feel instead - wille's face speaks for itself. this hug is so intimate ugh.
it's finally shown a glimpse of wille's hand on simon's back! it was always there obv but it's nice to see it more properly.
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wilhelm obsessing over simon's neck and simon who tilts his head back to make it more accessible. wille could've done it all and trace the path with kisses - simon wished - but the boy knew what he was doing!
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the way simon looks up at him and wille rubs their noses back and forth, keeping his eyes on him, gives me butterflies.
they're super affectionate and it's the easiest thing for them to do. the intimacy that comes with their whispering, their own personal space becoming one for both of them to share bc it's safer, warmer, a lot more comfortable. everything is such a manifesto of how much they genuinely adore each other - it's what makes this the it scene for me.
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their bottom lips touching are sooo *internally screaming*.
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wilhelm stands still to let simon's lips brush past his own and simon's cheek resting against wille's lips to enjoy the feeling a little longer. they look so peaceful.
it happens after wille's "i like listening to you sing": they went from "he likes it when i sing" / "i do too, don't i?" (locker room's fight in s2) to wilhelm actually telling him that listening to his voice is one of the main reasons he joined the choir. it has to be extremely special for simon to finally hear it.
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idk if it's just my mind making this up but let's pretend simon is kissing wille's neck here!
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wilhelm picking simon up by the waist to carry him elsewhere and keep the thing going more privately. that's my wille.
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can you believe this is the face of someone who's saying that he needs to go? to not miss the bus? he just looks crazy in love to me.
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wille's laugh is cute! and simon throwing his stuff on the floor bc the priority was to push his boyfriend against the lockers to make out will never not be funny.
also, @allthefakepeople once said the only thing that could've made this scene even more perfect is if simon paused when walking away and ran back to wille to steal a quick goodbye kiss - ahhh i'd have been so here for it!
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sillyuin · 29 days ago
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if your requests are in, I was wondering who in Svt would give u up for friendship and who would fight for u till the end ( if two of the members were interested in someone). I really like your style of writing and think it’s super super cute so I would love it if you could make this idea come to life: thank you and keep writing xxx🫶🏽
Hi anon! Sorry for keep you waiting but here it is. I struggled a little bc is the first time writing something likes this, but it was also fun, thank you ♥
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Seventeen reactions (ot13) - Fight or Flight?
Yuin's note: barely proofread. I'm still stuck with write's block so I don't know how my attempt at comedy turned out.
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Scoups: He’d be troubled. Seungcheol really, really wants to be with you and thinking about losing you is something that just can’t think of. So, he would just let it flow, no matter how hard it was, and do his best not to lose his mind. (but we all know he already did it and he’d kill to have you just for him).
Jeonghan: He'd be with a "I’ve got this” attitude and like he trust himself, but lowkey, Jeonghan is terrified about what could happen. This is not a Going Seventeen episode (and he hates to admit it) so he just can’t cheat like is a game, but probably will use all the cards he has up his sleeve.
Joshua: Maybe he has too much self-confidence or just don’t want to rush things over, but Joshua would be very chill about it. He will be your friend no matter what happens and will be there whenever you need him, so what happens it’s completely up to you. Good luck!
Jun: That would be a big surprise, not a pleasant one, and saying that he's just distressed is little for how he'd really feels about it. Jun loves you as you are, but he needs some space to collect his thoughts so he might be a distant for a time :(
Hoshi: Okay, this man would do anything for you so he won't give in so easily. Hoshi doesn’t matter anyone but you, so he will exhaust all the resources available to him, but also trying his best not to overwhelm you in the process (and we all know he’s fighting for his life lol).
Wonwoo: He'd prefer staying in his comfort zone and is okay with just a friendship, letting the path clear for the other person but also leaving the door open. (As soon as he's alone he would drown his sorrows by playing animal crossing and dissociating).
Woozi: Just like Wonwoo he'd prefer to keep it as a friendship, a little of you is better than nothing, open to possibilities but also without really looking for them. However, we all know him and would be so blue that will probably write a song about it (the next SOFT if you ask me).
Minghao: Despairing will not help and he knows that, so he'd try to push further than a friendship. Hao is patient but also dedicated, the last thing he wants is to do something that might hurt you, the best option is to walk at a slow and safe pace.
Dokyeom: Ugh, that would break his heart, he can't imagine his world without you but at the same time, Dokyeom knows that he can't tie you. So, whatever makes you happy would make him happy too... At least on the surface (We all know he'd be tossing and turning in bed trying not to think about it).
Mingyu: Sulky Mingyu just entered the chat because yes, a situation like that is very frustrating. But on the top of that is you. So, as long as you follow your heart, he would respect that decision, lowkey crossing his fingers behind his back for you to choose him.
Seungkwan: Probably too much for him to handle. Seungkwan would feel his emotions on the surface, unable to think properly. He'd prefer to step back for a time, maybe some days, at least until he can look at the others without looking like he wants to slap them.
Vernon: He wouldn't flinch we all know that for sure lol. He enjoys spending time with you and your silly jokes always makes his days a little brighter. No matter what happens, Vernon would be there to share more happy memories with you.
Dino: He'd probably freak out and scream on the inside because a love triangle wasn't on his bingo for this year. However, he's not quitting. If you end up just being friends then he will accept it, but no one can say that Chan wouldn't give his best to get you
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uglypastels · 3 months ago
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Hiya! I was wondering if you could do a fic Logan being all stubborn and caring with an introverted/loner type reader? I’d love if if she were sort of like him in terms of aging and had been used as a sort of weapon in her past, now she’s afraid to be with him, thinking she’d hurt him or something? And he just reassures her that even if she did, he wouldn’t leave her alone. If not that’s completely fine but thanks for reading! Loved your last fic btw!! 💚
i did my best with this and i really hope you enjoy it. also it might not be super clear from how i wrote it, but i wasn't too sure on how else to include it, but the reader's mutation is meant to be that she has spikes pull and retract from all over her body, kind of like a porcupine... ? idk i wanted it to be similar to logan's but different.
warnings: trauma/severe ptsd. angst. nightmares. crying. aggression.
~ X-Men requests Open ~ Masterlist ~
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‘Sweetheart, wait,’ Logan called after you.
‘Don’t call me that, Logan!’ You exclaimed as you shut the door, tears ready to burst. You let the weight of your body fall against the door, your arm reaching for the bolt to lock it. You didn’t know what had come over you. Nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. But perhaps that was exactly it. Just one too many times, had Logan come too close. At first, you hadn’t minded it all too much. Actually, you kind of enjoyed it. It was safe when you knew to keep him at a distance. But each time he persisted, you felt your walls tremble beneath his strength, and you wouldn’t be able to keep it up much longer. And then that happened… people would get hurt. As they always did.
‘Please, I just want to talk.’ His voice was muffled through the door. But you could feel him as if he was right next to you. The heat of his body radiating right through everything and onto you. 
‘Just leave.’ You shouted back at him. Eventually, he would have to give up and go. If not for rest, then nutrition; if not food, then he would certainly need a drink. 
‘I’m not leaving you. Not like this.’ He tried the handle, but it just rattled uselessly next to you. ‘C’mon, let me in.’
The tears finally broke through the dam and flooded your cheeks as years of emotions and memories overwhelmed you. It all suddenly flashed before your eyes. Both the things you remembered and those that felt like images from a movie you had never seen before. Puzzle pieces of a life you did not remember and only made your head spin more.
‘It’s happening again, isn’t it?’ He always knew. You weren’t sure how, but Logan could always tell when you were having an episode. Possibly because he was the only other person on earth who understood. Who knew exactly what you had gone through. Perhaps you had known each other before the experiment, but neither of you remembered. All you knew was that you had found eachother, both lost, confused and afraid. You fought for and with eachother, but there would always be one thing that kept you at a distance, no matter how hard Logan would try to get closer to you.
Some minds just weren’t as strong as others, and after everything that had happened, it started to take a toll on you and your powers. The nights where you woke up screaming, bedsheets soaked in cold sweat, had been in the hundreds. And Logan would always be the first one at your side, ignoring the searing pain of the thousand needles that perforated his skin as he held you. 
You couldn’t always control your powers. Not when you were in such a state. You were working on it, but the weekly sessions you had with the professor could only do so much. There was only so much Logan could take, and seeing him get hurt because of you only added to the fuel of the nightmares. You had never told him how the lost dozen times you awoke in terror was because of the image of his dying frame at your mercy. 
But that’s all that it was. Nightmares. And you would never let it become reality. That was a promise you had made yourself a long time ago.
You were pulled back to reality by a loud, hollow thud coming from the other side of the door. Logan punched the wall, nearly cracking the layers, as he called out to you with no response. Your name echoed through the building, the simple word getting filled with more and more worry with each repetition.
‘Why do you care, anyway, Logan?’  
‘Because I love you, damn it!’ He burst out, and it was like the oxygen had been taken from your lungs. Time stood still. You couldn’t move, breathe, speak. Even clear thoughts couldn’t form in your mind. You had no response. None that wouldn’t bring any less hurt than you already had. But the warmth radiating through that door never left your side. For what you didn’t know was that Logan had also made a promise a long time ago, and you’d have to kill him before he’d break it. That much was sure.
the end.
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thank you for reading 💗
if you enjoyed the fic, please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. or send a message via my inbox. requests are also more than welcome. 💗
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babushkatty · 11 months ago
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Tranquil SAGAU - Part 6
-> Part 1
-> Part 5
With Dvalin gone, you were left basically homeless. Not that it was much of an issue, not really. The forests had been very kind to you -- you could easily live the life of a hermit if you so wished, without having to worry about food, water, shelter or animal attacks.
But it would also be horribly lonely. No compassionate silence, no background noise and buzz of other people scurrying around and going about their day without minding you, no one to speak to if you ever felt the need to.
You liked being alone, but you were still human and humans were social animals.
Soooooo, you promptly asked Crepus about working in his Winery in exchange for accommodations, because 'one that asks, does not stray'... or something like that anyways. Your sister always made her life that much harder because she outright refused to ask for help even when hopelessly lost or overwhelmed, so there must be something to the saying at least.
"You don't have to work to earn your keep, (Name). I'd be more than happy to house you as my guest for however long you want!" is what Crepus 'Sunshine Personified' Ragnvindr responded with.
Crepus used Puppy Eyes, it was super effective!
You laid defeated, a puddle of cuteness overload once again wishing for sunglasses to protect yourself from the blinding smiles and imaginary wagging tails.
Crepus was horrible for your heart.
Still, you would go insane if left with nothing to do for days at a time, so you went to turn the Ragnvindr library upside down with Crepus' blessing, a bunch of notebooks, a bunch of pens and a delusion that you'd do any actual studying in there.
This was Teyvat, but this wasn't Genshin Impact -- a library wouldn't have interesting lore, it'd have dry history and even drier geography, accompanied by boring economics and even more boring politics (which was a damn shame too, politics were so interesting when written right).
You never quite had a head for those, prefering subjects with more practical applications that could be practiced instead of having to be beaten into your thick skull until you memorized it just long enough to write the exam.
Though for some ungodly reason you still remembered that onions were actually leaves. It was one of the very few things you remembered from school, actually.
Probably the trauma speaking.
Still, you did find some interesting books - a diary speaking of the Decarabian rule, for example.
Today, I don my very own Windblume.
I can only hope Lord Decarabian never learns of its' significance.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
The winds are particularly harsh today.
I am afraid, but I smile and play my lyre as if nothing were happening at all, like I always do.
Sometimes, I forget if what I do is to reasure the people or to delude myself that everything is as it should be...
Then again, does it matter when the result remains the same?
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The people are growing restless.
Their yearning for freedom gave birth to a small wind spirit that seems fond of my playing. It is an adorable being, even if it has yet to communicate with us.
It remind me of a newborn puppy.
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The people are planning a rebellion.
I want to help, but how can I? I am no soldier, my strength lays with the pen and the lyre, not with the sword.
Ragnvindr told me there was no need for more warriors, that I was doing enough by keeping the morale up with my performances... I am hesistant to believe him.
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The little spirit has spoken for the first time today.
It said that it knew the song I was playing, despite it being a new piece I was in the midst of creating, and sang along to lyrics I had yet to write.
It was strange, but it made me happy nonetheless.
Perhaps I was strange too, for feeling that way.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
You had a suspicion on who the author of the diary was by that point. Maybe Crepus would be open to giving this diary to Venti, instead of it gathering dust on the shelf?
Idly, you wondered how it had survived so long, but figured Ragnvindr and his descendants took good care of it.
I met Ragnvindr today.
Something compelled me to share my worries with him, even though I knew he had enough weight on his shoulders and I ought not to add more.
"If you cannot trust in yourself, then trust in me and my trust in you instead" he told me.
It helped.
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Meetings regarding the rebellion are more and more frequent. Ragnvindr, alongside a man named Amos, have convinced the Gunnhildr clan to participate against all odds.
I can understand their hesitance. Should we fail to kill Lord Decarabian, their legacy would be no more.
I admire their bravery.
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The wind has long since realized change is imminent, even when Lord Decarabian himself has not - the little spirit said so.
King of Gales indeed, even the wind has rebelled against him.
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Ragnvindr speaks of a bad premonition.
In truth, my heart is uneasy as well, but how can I share those feelings with anyone but myself? It is not the time to bother others with my issues -- it is time to reassure everyone, to rouse their spirit and not to let fear take root even as they stand against a God. It is my duty as a bard and as a fellow rebel.
The Windblume feels particularly heavy as I write this.
I fear I will not live to see tomorrow's sunset, but I fear for my dearest friends and for Mondstadt even more.
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My little spirit friend is still without a name.
I know it does not bother them, they are the wind itself after all, but I would still like to give them a name others can remember them by.
A name that they can remember me by once I pass on, selfish as it is to bind an immortal to a memory.
But I am selfish, even if Ragnvindr may see me as a paragon of virtue. I am a human and to be human is to be flawed. I am not ashamed of it, even if I often feel guilty for it.
Perhaps it will be the very last thing I achieve in this life of mine.
It is hard to name them.
I've thought of many names up until now.
Caelus. Liberius. Aella. Calliope. Achill. Carmine. Hilarius. Hanne. Zephyrinus. Dieter. Sascha. Scilla. Paulus. Notus. Veronica. Agna. Vergil.
Those are just a few of the ones I discarded.
None fit.
I can only hope the right name reveals itself when it is time.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
That was the last entry.
You closed the diary and carefully put it aside.
☆(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ* ✨ Author Note✨
It was not supposed to be mostly nameless bard POV via old diary.
It really wasn't.
Mans literally kidnapped the chapter entirely against my will while I was half asleep yesterday and attempting to write at nearly midnight and I was powerless to stop it, on god.
But hey, at least we got potential Venti bonding set up for the future?
I was planning for more fluff, but I also have no outline for this, so my chapters have a chance of getting kidnapped at any time.
✨BY THE WAY!!!!✨
The charm of spontaneous writing, I guess?
If you have something you want to happen - for example we're in the library right now, so maybe you want a book about a specific tidbit to appear - do let me know, maybe I'll write it in!
I had 2 tests and 1 retake yesterday and holy shit i got through all of them and tomorrow is last day of uni then it's ✨HOLIDAYS✨
✨Taglist✨
@game-savvy @chaoticfivesworld @mmeatt @avalordream @ymechi @andromeda-gay @naynayaa @undecidingfate @thedevioussmirk @tumb3ld0wn @balaur-bondoc @yi-chii @yarabutterfly @nervouseaglelover @vexingpraedyth @indelible-colouring-markers @whitefantasy21-blog @kapitankarate
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o-sachi · 4 months ago
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Fell First & Fell Harder Pt. 2 - Blue Lock Chars.
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you fell first, but they definitely fell harder
characters; oliver aiku, bachira meguru, gagamaru gin, shidou ryusei
tags; fluff, gn reader, no y/n
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Oliver Aiku
"It's just you. I promise. No one else is in the picture."
He was faithful... to an extent. The most that he did, after all, was be too friendly with others—which could be mistaken for flirting. But all you could do was sit there and hope that he'd stop it soon.
Although, at some point you reach your breaking point. You bring it up again and it blows up into a huge fight. The conclusion was to have an indefinite break from each other.
In that time you were away from each other, he realizes how big of a fumble that was on his part. Now was the time he'd start missing you SO MUCH. It was so bad that he couldn't think of anyone else but you and he didn't even have the energy to entertain people that weren't you.
One day you two get to talking again and it leads to a mini reconciliation. He promises with his life that he'd take you more seriously and that you'd be the one and only person his attention would be on.
Bachira Meguru
"You're the cure to my boring life."
You quickly realize that he's not the type to be super serious about someone early on. He's not too experienced with dating, so he's complacent in the simple fact that you like him and he likes you.
Nevertheless, you love to indulge him with his whims. You were determined to be his ride-or-die and it showed. You supported him through every step he took, offering gentle pieces of advice every once in a while to keep him grounded.
There were rare occurrences when he'd be self-aware. He'd realize that sometimes he was going too fast without taking into consideration the feelings of other people. Then, he'd be hyper aware of what you felt towards him and your relationship.
Your impact in his life becomes more apparent in these moments. Bachira eventually begins to consider you more in his life—integrating you in everything that he does. In due course, football wasn't just an outlet for him, but also a way to make you proud of him.
Gagamaru Gin
"Love? Huh... I guess that's the word to describe it."
The falling harder part certainly took a while to happen. Similar to Bachira, Gagamaru doesn't have much experience in the world of dating. The idea never intrigued him, so he figured there was no point in entertaining it. But your persistent ass came along.
This would certainly be a first love type of scenario. The newfound feelings and experiences you had to offer him overwhelmed Gagamaru in a good way.
He had nothing else to compare this to; he believes your love is the one of the greatest things in his life (close competition with grilled meat).
Cannot get enough of you now. It's like a drug to him—addicting and it consumes it. Before you know it, he's absolutely worshipping the shit of you—doing everything in his power to make you the happiest human alive.
Shidou Ryusei
"You make it throb... my heart, I mean."
His previous relationships were also short-lived primarily because he was too intense (freaky) for his partners to handle. It was set in stone: starting now, he would never settle for anyone who cannot match his enthusiasm (freak).
Out of all of them, he's probably the one that falls harder the fastest. But it's no easy feat to achieve. You really need to capture his attention—make him fascinated by your very existence. Do those simple things and he's yours in a flash.
But here's the surprise—with him, there's another layer to it. Sure, he could be deeply interested in you. But can he be serious with you? Can he honestly say that he's committed to you? Those are important questions that pop up once you've been together for a while.
You only know that he's 100% serious about you when he can finally sit down and talk to you, heart-to-heart. His vulnerability is something that he would only show to the most special of special people in his life. That happens to be you.
o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms
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shotanzz · 7 months ago
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I wish you would do a full post dedicated to toxicity or angsty shortcomings in relationships with the boys 🫠 I loved reading the toxic head canons ❤️
angst hurts my heart but !!
RIIZE RED FLAGS based on astrology~
hyung line edition ❗️
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reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and I am not a professional astrologer
Shotaro
Vague - not exactly a red flag but he cares a lot about the things going on within his personal life but sometimes he might prefer to keep things to himself due to paranoia of how his s/o will react or if they’d use it against him..he might have a fear of betrayal that can make him be pretty vague and unable to tell his s/o a lot of things in regards to him which can feel secretive to someone who wants a relationship with open info
Intense - His Scorpio moon paired with his Cap venus leads to a need for loyalty as well as his moon/mercury aspect making him very observant of your words and even remembering things you said a longgg time ago which can be overwhelming and feel even persecuting to some. He might also be paranoid in the relationship of cheating or disloyalty.
Coldness- When he's upset he might have a tendency to be cold yet indirect. He has a scorpio mercury and when upset or protecting themselves they can say things that really hurt or could be pretty cutting. He also has a libra mars so he'd be pretty passive aggressive or indirect with his upset.
Eunseok
Nonchalant- (reminder that nonchalant means that a person cares but acts in a way that suggests indifference/disinterest) He can sometimes be too nonchalant and can make someone overall feel as though he has no passion in the relationship when really he does but just doesn't think you have to be lovey dovey 24/7 or he cant express his passion super well as times
Outburst- Eunseok has a cap moon and moon/saturn aspects paired with a mutable mars so he doesn't express his emotions well or bottles them up which can lead to him getting triggered at random and having a spontaneous outburst out of NOWHEREEE due to suppressed feelings which can be super problematic to some
Insensitive- it’s not on purpose or with malicious intent but Eunseok can sometimes not realize that though a situation isn’t a big deal to him to someone else it might be, he also can forget the more subjective side of things which can accidentally hurt peoples feelings
Sungchan
Sensitive - His pride is high and his reaction to things may be 3x more dramatic than the actual event that happened. When he's been hurt emotionally (whether it was intentional or not) he has a hard time letting go of what happened and might even give a silent treatment until he feels you've shown remorse.
Insecure - He cares a lot about what other people think of him and that can bleed into his relationships. He might act one way in public but another way in private which can make his words/actions seem insincere or disingenuous.
Internal struggles- Has a hard time balancing his feminine side and masculine side and what I mean is he is someone super emotional and feels his emotions very deeply but might try to cover that side of him up with a masculine facade which can bring tension.
Wonbin
Avoidance - He might refuse to acknowledge the red flags or obvious shortcomings/problems in the relationship or himself and may take a long time fully accepting or facing these problems as they are or has a weak approach in attempting to fix or acknowledge the problems. Idealizes a lot of aspects and tends to withdrawal when things don’t match his vision.
Procrastination- Once again, has a hard time facing things head on and takes a while to put action into something and avoids the messier more negative emotions that one must face in relationships; he could also take a long time to let the relationship reach the next more serious levels.
Stubborn- It's hard to change his mind about certain things..in arguments he'll try to pull a "lets agree to disagree" but it's a topic where you both need to be on the same page. He might even just straight up go mute in arguments if he doesn't feel like his opinion was valued enough.
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syrupfog · 10 months ago
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AU where Sanji never actually left Germa, and Judge made him a test subject early on, successfully getting rid of his empathy after years of torture.
But like, he has those years of bullying from his brothers first, and his empathy’s gone but his anger’s still there. Also with no Zeff, he fights with his fists and doesn’t treat women Like That. Because Zeff’s the one who instilled in him to never hit a woman (and made it weird but that’s not the point).
He’s out on some mission in the Grand Line when he runs into the Straw Hats and he sees Zoro’s green hair and associates it with Yonji and he just haaaates him on sight.
The fight is super evenly matched and Zoro manages to knock him out eventually but he’s like what’s the guy’s DEAL. Wtf is his problem.
Maybe Law’s with them when it goes down and he recognizes that costume and fanboys…
Oh actually yeah— Law’s with them! And after Zoro knocks him out, Law goes into Creepy Surgeon Mode and is like for the love of god please let me get my fingers in that chest cavity
And everyone else (bar Robin ofc) is like Σ(゚д゚lll)
But Law gets a room going and finds all sort of odd Germa technology literally implanted in him and starts pulling it out and messing with it and suddenly Sanji wakes UP and he’s— he’s scared. And overwhelmed. He’s in real time having to reckon with years of torturing people.
And Law’s like oh the emotional part of this is not in my pay grade this is not my job anymore and dips.
So Sanji’s there in the Sunny’s infirmary like “I’m a monster I need to be put down oh my god” and Luffy shows up like HEY you’re cool as hell join my crew.
Zoro is not a fan of this option and also it turns out neither is Sanji BUT sanji has nowhere to go so he makes a deal to sail with them until the next habitable island. So Zoro watches him like a hawk bc he’s like “you’re definitely faking this and are gonna turn evil and try to kill people again right”
But instead he just keeps finding Sanji being really pathetic and sad and looking longingly at the kitchen (Robin doubles as the cook and her food is damn near inedible but that’s just the life of a pirate innit)
Late one night Zoro comes off watch and he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and he thinks OH he’s going to try to POISON US so he sneaks in after him and confronts him, swords and all. And Sanji, who knows what an awful person he’s been and knows he deserves death, just starts crying and is like “yeah you can kill me just let me cook one thing once I just want to remember what it feels like”
So Zoro lets him cook, and is like yeah I’m killing you after this, and Sanji spends a long time sniffling as he re-familiarizes himself with pots and pans and spices and knives and ends up making something garlic-y and delicious that smells strong enough to wake up the crew, and everyone traipses in enraptured by the smell. So Sanji serves them and Zoro tries it first because if it’s poisoned he’s not letting EVERYONE go down. But it’s not poisoned and it’s really good, and anyway Zoro can’t kill him now in front of everyone.
But three nights later the same thing happens— he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and follows him and Sanji says “I know you should’ve killed me last time but you couldn’t, I get that, but I’m dangerous. So let me cook just one more time and then you can kill me.”
And it doesn’t happen of course. Everyone comes in and everyone eats and Zoro watches Sanji recover a little of himself.
And so it goes. At first every few nights and then every other night, and then every single night.
And whenever Zoro comes in, Sanji says, I know I deserve to die but let me cook just one more thing.
And at some point Zoro stops thinking about killing Sanji. He’s a part of the crew now. He’s proving himself, and anyway Zoro can beat him and hold him down and Law can reverse whatever it is again if needs be.
So it’s just a thing they do. Zoro lightly threatens him and Sanji begs for his life and they move on. It’s routine but it doesn’t actually MEAN anything anymore.
That is, until one really bad night where Sanji doesn’t show up in the kitchen like he always does, and Zoro goes looking and finally finds him deep in the steerage, and Sanji says, “I can’t keep living like this, please just kill me. I can’t keep living knowing I’m going to die the next day.”
And Zoro’s like ???? You’re not gonna die the next day wtf
And Sanji says, please, just get it over with.
Zoro realizes that Sanji has continued all this time assuming Zoro really is coming to kill him every night
But it’s been MONTHS at this point. Surely he wouldn’t still think—
But Sanji’s wracked with more than a decade’s worth of guilt, is so sure he deserves the worst the world possibly has to offer.
Too bad Zoro’s a little in love with him at this point. And says anyone who wants to kill Sanji will have to go through Zoro first.
Which Sanji DOESNT UNDERSTAND and he doesn’t understand the kiss Zoro follows it up with, but he returns it. Greedily.
Because as much as he knows he deserves death, he also relishes every moment of life, every chance to feel the emotions he wasn’t allowed. And Zoro goes from jailer to protector in his mind. Slowly. Hesitantly.
He spends years working through the trauma, decades really, but the simplicity with which Zoro sees the world helps. Zoro doesn’t blame him. Zoro loves him. Sanji doesn’t know much but he knows he’ll defend this ship that saved him with his life.
And he knows Zoro wouldn’t let Sanji defend HIM with his life, because Zoro views his life as precious and important.
Which is something Sanji is still learning.
He’ll get there.
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101maverick · 5 months ago
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Prompt request: Secretly Atlantean gothamite saving Dick Grayson Robin from drowning in the bay. She recognizes his voice as her classmate crush.
They would ideally be 13-14 ish
A/n: okok this is soooo original i’m in loooveee. I did some research to find out where exactly the Gotham bay is in terms of city area and I hope i got it right :)) Also let’s ignore the fact this took me a whole month to finish, okay? Very sorry about the wait, life has been kicking my butt recently😅
Fishy Business
The water in Gotham was shit.
The pollution typical of every big American city was one thing, but whatever the heck Gotham had was ten times worse. Like, Chernobyl level bad.
Whatever filth was thrown in the waters of the Gotham Harbour on the daily definitely saw a lot of local chemical creations, the ones the city’s rogues were so fond of coming up with to terrorise the population.
Needless to say you would not be swimming in open waters any time soon.
You missed the ocean. You missed being in your element.
The fact you weren’t stupid enough to dare a swim in chemically spiked water didn’t negate the fact the Gotham Harbour was the only body of water you had available though, if not only to look at wistfully while mourning what you had before having to come to this forsaken city.
And that’s what you were doing when it happened. You had been stood up by your classmate and crush, Dick Grayson, for your chemistry study session. Neptune only knows how much that boy sucks at the subject, and the fact he skipped out on your study session made your insides flare up in indignation. Coming to the nearest body of water and reminiscing was the best way you knew of for letting go of ugly feelings.
Just letting your hair be lightly whipped around by the wind, staring wistfully into the last blazing scorches of the dying sun, standing on one of the docks and pretending the overwhelming smell of fish came from the dredges of the seaside market you used to camp out near as a kid.
Then, of course, it happened.
A loud crash startled you out of your musings, and you turned around just in time to see a figure splashing in the water a ways away.
Who the hell goes for an evening swim here? You thought to yourself as you made your way closer to the perturbed water, keeping to the elongated shadows born of the fish crates scattered around.
Once you were close enough to distinguish more of the figure, your eyes widened considerably.
The body flailing around in the murky water of the docks was none other than Robin, infamous sidekick to Gotham’s resident bat-themed vigilante.
Gotham’s resident vigilante that was very clear about his stance on super-powered beings in his territory.
You considered your options. If Batman knew his sidekick was saved by someone with very obviously atlantean powers he no doubt would clock you as somebody who wanted to mess with him, who was probably even spying on him due to the conveniency of the coincidence.
You did not want to find out what Batman did to people who not only disregarder his rules by merely existing in the wrong place, let alone what he did to people he thought were meddling in his business.
Plus, surely Robin could swim, right? He would have no problem getting out of the water by himself, so there was no need for your water-manipulation abilities anyway.
Despite your self-reassurances and the fact you should have been hightailing it out of there as fast as possible, uncertainty kept your feet rooted to the rotten wooden panels.
And so you kept watching, growing increasingly worried as Robin failed to keep his head outside of the water for more than a few seconds at a time.
You made it approximately thirteen seconds before saying ‘fuck it’ and stepping in, emerging from the shadows you had found refuge in just enough time get a good stance, planting your feet and raising your arms while letting your abilities reacquaint themselves with the water near you.
It was a fast affair, getting your powers to grasp at the water Robin was perturbing and pulling, violently yanking both the liquid and the boy out of the Harbor and onto the dock.
The vigilante gasped, gripping the material under him while hacking coughs wracked through his chest as he expelled the water from his human lungs.
You remained hovering above him, watching him, immensely glad the visible part of his face was regaining its normal colour instead of the red-purple it had previously been.
You had always looked upon Batman and Robin as pretty unapproachable, two beacons of justice and penance for Gotham’s criminals, who struck fear into even the most hardened thugs this rotten city had to offer.
But- but Robin was light to Batman’s darkness, and he always had a smile on his face in the grainy pictures that sometimes appeared in the newspaper, and if you focused your inhuman hearing on your surroundings late enough at night you could hear laughter mixing with the swoosh of the wind and the rustling of heavy fabric and the rhythmical zapping of a rope through the air.
And plus, Robin looked so human in this moment, so defenceless while he coughed his lungs out, that you just couldn’t reconcile the boy in front of you with the pillar of rambunctious justice fixed in your mind. And above all else, you couldn’t leave a human, one with so many enemies at that, alone while there was still the risk of him not being completely out of danger.
So you stayed.
You stayed, sat on an empty crate beside him, and kept vigilant with your enhanced senses to avoid any unwanted attention. As he calmed down he seemed to slowly gain awareness of his surroundings.
After what seemed like an eternity, he got his arms under him and slowly lifted himself up into a sitting position. That’s when he took notice of you, still watching him intently.
His eyes weren’t visible through the white-out lenses of his mask, but the way his forehead creased and his mouth opened a little more around his still heavy breaths made you able to accurately guess his surprise. “You- you just…what was-“
You interrupted him before he could keep voicing his question. “Look, just don’t tell the Bat about me and we’re good, okay? I really don’t need the trouble, plus you owe me one.”
Robin just kept looking at you, chest rising and falling with each deep breath, tiny shivers coursing through his soaking-wet form.
After a few beats that felt like eons, he nodded. “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” He half-gasped out, voice breathy with exertion. “Won’t tell a soul.”
His voice… it was achingly familiar.
You studied the unmasked portions of his face more closely, more attentively, your superhuman eyesight undisturbed by the darkness.
You were able to make out sun-kissed skin, soaked inky locks you fantasised about running your fingers through every day during chemistry, a defined jaw, high cheekbones and lips that pulled into semi-rare but blinding smiles. Lips you dreamed about kissing at night, while you lay on your bed thinking of your life.
You were sitting face-to-face with Dick Grayson. Robin.
You nodded, looking right into those white lenses. “Good.” At that, you looked around the empty area of the docks, spying the area sounds of fighting were coming from. “Well, I, uh, better go.”
You turned to him. “Try not to drown again, thanks.” And with that you stood.
Before walking away you turned around one last time, unable to stop yourself. “And, by the way, you stood me up for our chemistry study session. We’ll catch it up tomorrow.”
Before he could reply, you ran away from the docks and into Gotham Proper.
Gosh, you really were an idiot, weren’t you?
——————————
A/n: If you like my work, please consider reblogging and checking out my other works through the master list in my pinned post<3
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cornyonmains · 4 months ago
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Just finished episode 2. I've managed to dislodge some thoughts.
I'm really, really liking Tyme. This man is a creature of contrasts. He's got boy next door good looks, but he's feral. He's a doctor, but he's got the bedside manner of a whoopee cushion. He swore to do no harm, but wants to blow Great's back out. He fascinates me and his obliques are fantastic.
I really love Bible's acting choices in this one. Playing another rich mafia son who finds himself lacking control over his own life would have made it so easy for him to just play Vegas with a few tweaks, but he took the time to really put together a much more distinct character. He doesn't play Great like a mafia son, he plays him like an overwhelmed college kid, and that was completely the right choice.
The character writing in this one is phenomenally good, because episode 2 set up a lot of what's going to make Great and Tyme work. We see Tyme going super Saiyan on a punching bag, and Great punching in such a way we were reminded Bible was a STEM major. Tyme struggles with empathy, while Great seems to be very driven by it. These two are a codependent mess waiting to happen and I look forward to it.
I'm sensing an imbalance between Korn and this woman (Fah?). Starting to wonder if Korn's distance from Tonkla is to keep him out of her sights. If not, I'm rooting for Tonkla and the lanky cop if not.
I have theories on how this whole time thing works, but it's going to require a separate post or this will run on too long. I said My Stand In was the BL to beat for me in 2024, but 4 Minutes might push it to second place.
If BOC keeps shipping this top tier smut, I'll give them all my money. If they ship some GL up in this bitch, I'll give them all my money by going to Thailand and just throwing it all down in the middle of their office.
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comicaurora · 1 year ago
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Are you willing to make a long personal post about how Math should be presented in an educational environment or in general conversation trying to convince the other participants about its daily usage. How it can advance a person’s problem-solving skills and approach in life.
I’m really good in Mathematics. I’ve given help for my classmates and friends about Math when they are having trouble or ask for it. But I have never been convinced of its importance outside of the classroom, outside of the test papers that gives me the variables to substitute in the given equation of that test of the day.
How can Math and it’s many properties relate back to everyday life in a casual manner?
Hm. Well, as someone who hasn't had to solve an antiderivative in years, my perspective on this is that the most important and widely-applicable skill math can teach you is the stuff behind the math - mostly the muscle-memory you get from proofs.
Math is, at its core, puzzles and logic and pattern-recognition. You learn a set of tools, you practice those tools on a set of simple problems until you get a feel for them, you are presented with a bigger problem, you recall which tools best applied to problems that are shaped like this, you break the problem down using your tools and eventually reduce it to something you know how to solve.
The fact of the matter is, the tools that are specific to branches of math don't really have much widespread use outside pure mathematics, and unless you go out of your way to keep using them you're likely to lose track of them. Studying math is not going to turn you into a super-calculator-wizard who can bounce stuff off the walls at perfect angles and do six-figure arithmetic in seconds, and I think some people feel overwhelmed at the assumption that that's what's expected of them if they learn math, and some other people feel cheated when they learn that that's absolutely not going to happen, because most writers don't know math and when they tell stories with math in them their best guess is it makes you a wizard.
I think the most advanced math I've used lately was trigonometry, and that was just because I was curious about how fast my plane was traveling relative to the sun's apparent movement at my latitude. We were flying back to the US from Iceland and we'd taken off at sunset, and we had been in that sunset for at least an hour by the time I got curious how the math worked out and started estimating our latitude, the circumference of the slice of the earth at that latitude, and correspondingly how fast we were flying vs how fast it was spinning to complete a full rotation in 24 hours. But even if the math involved didn't tap into any of the higher-level stuff I'd learned post-trig, those years doing proofs and figuring out which tools applied to which geometry meant that I could use the tools and my training applying those tools to calculate what I wanted to know, and confirm that our plane was actually outflying the sun when we were at iceland latitude, but as we curved south the sun's apparent relative movement (aka the rotational speed of that latitude of the earth) slowly accelerated until we were falling behind, landing right as the sun finally set. The math involved was high school level, but if I'd been given that problem in high school it would've taken more work and more stress to figure out how the tools I had needed to be applied to the problem I was facing. The years of practice I had tackling much more complicated proofs made the diagnostic process much faster.
I saw someone once analogize studying math to lifting weights. Where am I going to use this in real life? How often will I really be faced with two dumbbells that need to be lifted in three sets of twenty? Where am I going to apply the skill of holding a heavy thing straight out to one side of my body?
You don't lift weights because lifting weights is such a valuable and widely-applicable skillset, you do it because lifting weights makes you better at lifting everything.
You don't study math because math is going to fill your daily life with concepts that you need to prove true for 1 and for n+1 given true for n, or complex solids that you need to sum an approximate volume for, or a surplus of sunset plane flights that demand you calculate a bunch of cosines. You study math because it is the skillset of making things make sense. It trains you to break a huge, incomprehensible problem down into a series of small problems you already know how to solve. It lets you reach true and correct conclusions by starting from facts and transforming them through operations that preserve truth, and correspondingly that if you reach a false conclusion from these methods, then either the methods are flawed or the initial assumption is not as true as you believed. It teaches you to put two and two together and be confident, once you've double-checked your work, that you can say four.
This is stuff I use all the time in both my video research and my freeform writing. Building out a slow picture of how a story was told or changed over time involves finding the context it was created in, and reverse-engineering what parts of that context could have produced what standout portions of the story - what authorial or cultural bias results in this standout story element. Worldbuilding where I take two wildly disparate parts of the world, put them together and see what web of implications springs out of combining them, following the threads to new and interesting concepts that follow from what I've already established. Building a character arc by breaking down exactly what events are happening to them and what transformation each component will apply to the underlying character. If I want the story to go in a certain direction, what transformations do I need to apply to make that happen while still preserving truth? If I'm faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem, what methods can I use to break it down into bite-sized pieces?
This isn't something I think about most of the time. It's just how my brain works at this point, and I can't promise it'd work for anyone else. But thanks to all my years of hard work and training, my brain has been buff enough to solve every problem I've tangled with since graduation, and that feels pretty good.
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batboyblog · 4 months ago
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Interesting thing to consider regarding our situation from Magdi Jacobs. She’s been fairly levelheaded so far about all this. The Pandemic really did change us all and how we perceive things.
The constant stressful vigilance we all needed during the pandemic is still in effect from that era, and that’s why there’s such a disconnect between what we see and feel as true:
https://x.com/magi_jay/status/1812531377184653581?s=46&t=9ilK5pqP73XDblTtTbb4Qg
I don't disagree with her, and I know for a fact she also agrees with what I have to say here:
Covid is part of it, maybe it is its own thing, maybe it super charged something that had been happening in slow-mo before
but I think algorithmic social media is breaking all our brains and Covid locked SO many of us inside with it for a year and a half or so where our only "human" contact was through social media and that was NOT helpful
There's lots of studies about social media and anxiety and depression, we know algorithms intentionally put stories/posts that upset you into your feed, we know that social media causes negative polarization.
speaking just of my own experience on twitter over the last two weeks it really challenges your sense of reality, twitter very quickly forms a group think about a current event and it becomes overwhelming, also it destroys any sense of time and prospective, so nothing is allowed to just be bad it has to be THE WORST THING EVER! and from the debate and now Trump's fist pump after getting shot at everything is NOW! the election is not 4 months away with all the events that will take over the news, people are voting just this second and only based on this news story rn! AAHHHH!!! !
by its short form nature twitter makes it feel as if people are having a conversation with you, but your ability to reply and question their statements is limited and I think that makes for extreme anxiety if the group think challenges your understanding of events/reality. So Joe Biden had a bad debate night, sounded bad, looked bad, he was a sick, jet lagged, overworked, old man and looked and sounded like all of that. Oh well, but the group think quickly shifted to "this is the worst thing ever, he clearly has dementia!" and you were bombarded by that over and over, in more and more shrill and condescending tones. And it became very stress inducing because people were seeing something you didn't see and insisting "don't believe your eyes and ears! believe my hot takes!" and you felt like you were losing your mind.
This is one current event but this happens on social media all the time, twitter is bad, TikTok is worse.
I also think for "younger" (under 40?) people raised on reality TV, and more so instagram, Facebook, now TikTok picture and video based social media there's a, life as reality TV show quality, an unspoken performance and need to make our lives seem perfect for an unseen (and not real) audience, and also to be seen as having the right views, but living in quick sand where liking or using anything could become a problem at any point and having to keep up endlessly. I also think this is intensely anxiety producing and also just debilitating, I don't think you can DO anything good in the world with that mindset
final thought: I've said for awhile I think why you see so many people declaring the economy is bad, regularly saying its historically, Great Depression levels bad, when it is in fact really good, as near to full employment as we've ever had lots of great economic indicators is left over Covid trauma.
We all went through a scary, sad, upsetting time in our lives. But because we ALL did if nothing happened to you particularly, you didn't get hospitalized, don't have long Covid, no one you're close with died and you couldn't be there for them, it might feel like "nothing" happened. So people are reaching for a "logical" reason for that edgy, sad, nervous, upset, unhappy feeling they can't get rid of. Normally that comes from economic anxiety, fear of not having enough money, or losing a job etc. So many people are reporting that they think the national economy is terrible while saying they think they themselves are doing well, that their local or state economy (that they see an interact with) is doing good, while the nation is doing bad, somehow. People are spending like they're doing well as well, never had it so good, never felt so bad.
I suspect its because we're all still dealing with Covid feelings, and thanks to social media, the death of common spaces, political radicalization, we never really came together and drew a line under Covid, it just kinda sputtered out and we slowly went back to our lives like nothing happened.
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2frosty4you · 6 months ago
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Hi! I wasn't sure if your doing requests right now so I'm so sorry if you aren't, feel free to ignore. I was wondering if you could write a fluffy headcanon list/mini story about how the mercs would react to a teen reader who's super shy and skittish gifting them trinkets they have made out of clay?
Hope this made sense! English is not my native language. Thank you so much.
-🎾
Mercs reacting to skittish teen!reader giving them clay trinkets [PLATONIC]
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| All mercs & Skittish TEEN!reader | 945 words | masterlist | request-box |
AW saw this in my inbox and had to do it cause i also love making things out of clay <3
Ty for the request 🎾anon!!
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Scout:
He's never been close with you, since you're always hanging around engineer and heavy more.
He kinda notices how its like you avoid him, he just wants a friend
But if you were to walk up to him and shakily place a small clay trophy with a baseball bat peaking from inside of it he'd be elated.
I'd say he's jumping for joy, and is probably crying when you hand it to him because he had just lost the team the match few hours before.
Would shove it into the other mercs faces, pointing at it laughing that they're not cool enough to have gotten a trophy.
Keeps it on his window sill next to a photo of him and his ma.
Soldier:
(Skittish kid vs Loud USA citizen who would win)
Jokes, but soldier wouldn't get along too well with you if you're always hiding away from him and keeping lengths away.
But when you and pyro were hanging out, you had found clay heavy had brought you and were just laying on the floor of pyro's room making little clay figures.
And you had made this poor looking eagle, with a misshapen American flag on it.
And when you offered it to soldier he was ecstatic, and by ecstatic I mean holding it up to the sky laughing in pride.
Even if the eagle looks like a fat dove he loves it, (USA! USA! USA!)
Keeps it in one of his pockets
Pyro:
Pyro gets along with you, they're a tad strange but easy to hang around
Since pyro loves to do crafts I expect them to already have made many things for you.
But when you gift them a clay Balloonicorn they cry
cradling it in their hands and sobbing.
They'd place it down carefully and then hug you, like bone crushing type hug.
Would try and make something for you as well
Engineer:
He's like your dad, and through your shyness you've stuck to him.
He's an engineer (duh) so he's probably made some things to just make your life easier
He lets you stay in his workshop if the rest of the team overwhelm you.
One day he came back from a losing battle he looked down at his work desk to see a small shotty looking sentry figure, clearly made out of clay and handpainted. A little poorly, as it looked like it was constantly painted over and fixed up.
But he loves it, keeps it on a newly built shelf so it doesn't get damaged.
He's a proud father
Heavy:
You hand him a small Sasha made out of clay and he doesn't know what to do.
He'll chuckle and pat you on the back, thanking you saying you did a great job.
You already were about to nervously dart away when he didn't respond for a while.
He keeps it safe, making sure no one touches it. Like it was the real Sasha.
Second proud father
Demoman:
Stopped drinking too much when you came to the base, to make you feel a bit more comfortable.
He doesn't let you in his workspace because he doesn't want you to get hurt by any explosives or harsh chemicals. (heavy would kill him if that happened)
You make him this small eyelander out of clay, it wasn't the right colour and its a little misshapen but its the thought that counts.
If the eyelander mentions anything wrong with it, he's locking it away again
Sniper:
He doesn't like kids, doesn't matter if you're a teen, scout is enough to make him feel like he's 30+ (even if sniper is the youngest merc)
You are shy, and like to hang around outside under some trees to get away from scout
And near there is where he likes to practice his aiming, and where his perch is
Few weeks later, he comes up to his perch to go on lookout, and at the bottom of the ladder is an owl figure.
He'd be confused, but could see you peaking from around a tree.
Keeps it in his van, on the dashboard stuck down with superglue.
Medic:
He's a little too unhinged for you
But you like his birds so you hang around just to watch them/hang out with them.
He'd show you each bird, joyful when he can show off his pets and second in command.
Medic would be holding like 3+ small dove clay trinkets which you placed into his hands and skidded off, cooing at them as he would show them all to the actual birds.
Archimedes would try to eat one
Shows them to heavy with pride
Keeps them in his office, constantly batting Archimedes away while he tries to eat them.
Spy:
He doesn't like you
And you never see him so its hard if you're going to make anything for him
He doesn't like teenagers, and with your skittish nature you're always already across the room when someone other than Heavy, Engineer or Demoman is trying to talk with you.
When he notices the other mercs with these clay trinkets he snobbishly dismisses it, saying the maker clearly was a child.
And when he gets into his smoker room there is a little clay trinket on his mantel place, a spy crab.
Wouldn't admit it to anyone but it's stayed there since it was put there and he cannot fathom to remove it.
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ If you see any typos pls tell me! If you wanna be tagged when i post next do tell me!
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Tag List: @therobloxmafia Posted 31.05.2024
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