#fully complete a college education!

[national-hockey-gay]

Congrats on your graduation, bud! I hope you’re proud of yourself (and even if you aren’t, I’m proud of you)

thank you!! i am definitely very happy about it!

[girlivealwaysbean]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[ms-demeanor]

Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.

With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.

But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."

I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.

AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:

Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor

Office Hours

Grading Policy

Assignment schedule.

Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:

December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam

If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.

If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.

If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.

I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.

This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #59

[shamebats]

Romanticizing studying/education

While I am not currently enrolled in college, something I found incredibly helpful when it came to studying and taking notes was fully romanticizing it. And by that I mean going all the way in— I would put on a classical music playlist and set my LEDs to a warm orange tone and pretend I was a young scholar in ye olden days studying by candlelight, and a couple hours later I’d have half a notebook filled with color-coded notes. Another time I put on some film noir jazz and rain ambience and imagined I was a tired, grizzled detective working tirelessly on a cold case that just wasn’t making sense. And sure enough, I would have pages upon pages of notes and work completed by the end of the night. It sounds really silly but I shocked myself with how well it worked, and I wanted to share my experience with it in case it can help anyone else!

[seosracha]

OUR SUMMER- jake sim x reader

SYNOPSIS- after 4 long years, this was the end. This was the last summer before everyone went off to university , and to fully honor it, you all decide to make a bucket list, completing every point through the entirety of summer while also discovering feelings that were hidden for so long.

PAIRING- jake sim x fem!reader

GENRE- teen romance, friends to lovers, summer fling?, fluff, highschool/college au, oneshot

WORDCOUNT- 8k

WARNINGS- sexual jokes, alcohol use, underage drinking, suggestive content (no smut tho)!

PERM TAGLIST (and normal taglist)- @bubblytaetae @qghosty @viagumi @strwberrydinosaur @enhacolor @rendezrei @shinsou-rii @notrosemary @tocupid

You knew this was the last summer. You knew because after 13 hard, long and excruciating years of education, Jake finally got accepted into his dream college, leaving you alone in this sad, miserable town. 

As he was about to move on, live a happy, fresh, new life at university, you were going to be left all alone with your feelings for him. 

It was sad. But while he was here, you tried to enjoy every moment spent together.  It was also extremely hard to not just fly into his arms and tell him how much in love you really are. But your brother was always watching. He was always there. 

Lee Heeseung, your brother who you swore you hated, was the reason you got to meet Jake in the first place. They met in freshman year, when Heeseung decided to take soccer more seriously and actually pursue that career path. He would notoriously make fun of Jake for having pictures of soccer players plastered all over his walls. That's when Heeseung, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon became an inseparable friend group, doing quite literally everything together. 

You remember everything so well. You still laugh about the time when they watched The Conjuring, and got so incredibly scared, they couldn't even go to the toilet alone. Heeseung, being the oldest, would be some sort of watcher, bodyguard, standing still in front of the bathroom doors, as all of them took turns using the toilet. As disgusting as it was, it's a fond memory for both you and them. 

Heeseung used to always complain about you tagging along with them since you were a year younger than all of them, constantly latching onto them, but he got used to it. Jake was the only one who would always invite you in the beginning, and fight with Heeseung whenever complaints started spewing from his mouth. That was probably the first thing that made you fall for him. 

Heeseung chose a college in town, deciding to do pedagogics on the side while he still pursued his soccer career. Jay and Sunghoon also chose a college nearby, only one town away, meaning the three of them would always be here. 

Jake on the other side had some sick ambitions. When he set his mind on UCLA, he did everything in his power to get in. There was nothing wrong in that, but how could he leave them? How could he leave you? 

"Let's make a bucket list" Jay said as all of you, plus your best friend, Yunjin, hogged the living room couch in Jake's house. 

Another reason you didn't want Jake to leave. That damn couch. Everything in the 4 years of your friendship probably happened or started on that couch. 

"We make one every summer" Heeseung said, shoving some popcorn into his mouth "And always end up freestyling it" he added unclearly, hence all the food in his mouth. 

"You're disgusting," Yunjin inquired, pointing out Heeseung's disgusting habit. 

He just mumbled a 'fuck you' in response and shoved another handful into his mouth. 

"But this summers different, '' Jay said, reminding you once again that this was the last truly youthful summer your friend group would share. 

You knew very well that everything would change when they went away to college. Obviously, they could come home for summer, but new friends, a buzzing, new, shiny social life were only a couple of reasons for them to not visit so often when summer comes around next year. The adult life they were about to step into was only gonna allow them to finally party all night long, go on road trips across the country and meet people who they would prefer to spend all their time with. So Jay was right, this summer was different, cause it was the last one. 

"I'm down" Jake said, grabbing a pen and paper from the drawer. He passed it to Jay, who wrote a big, and definitely sloppy, 'OUR SUMMER'. 

"Skydiving" Sunghoon said excitedly, pitching in the first idea. 

"You know damn well" Yunjin said "Let's make it a tiny bit more realistic" Sunghoon just furrowed his eyebrows and continued to put on his thinking face. 

"Let's do a sleepover. You know, like the ones we'd do in our childhood. Blanket fort and all'' you said, turning your face to Jay, as he was the designated leader for this bucket list making. 

"I like that," Jake said, giving you a cheeky smile. 

You'd rather he be rude towards you than give you all these weird signals. None of the guys would  be as nice to you as he was. What man would agree with you on everything, bring you anything you wanted at any time, give you rides at the latest hour, handpick flowers for you on a random Wednesday and buy you things just because they reminded him of you, if he didn't like you like that. Yet still, you were too slow to catch on. 

"Sleepover. Blanket fort and all" Jay mumbled as he wrote down the first point to your list. "How about we drive down to that lake, get some beer, talk and shit?" he asked after he finished writing. 

"With your wackass, dodgy looking fake ID, I'm guessing" Yunjin said, laughing. 

"Give me some credit, it works every fucking time" Jay answered, pulling it out from his pocket. 

"Okay James Blunderbuss, write it down" Heeseung, said examining the ID "Anton really did you wrong with that last name" 

"Blackout drunk at Hanbin's birthday party" Sunghoon pleaded, pushing Jay to quickly write that down. 

"Do you really need an excuse to get drunk that bad?" you asked, and Sunghoon hurriedly nodded his head. You laughed and told Jay to write it down. 

"Kiss at least 20 sexy ladies," Heeseung said, puckering his lips. 

"No way" Jake shaked his head "You can go be a slut on your own" 

"Write down kiss Heeseung’s sister for Jake, cause I know he wants to so bad" Sunghoon laughed, emphasizing the 'so' part. 

Jake playfully pushed him with his elbow, visibly getting red. You tried to laugh it off, but deep down you knew how bad you wanted it, unlike Jake, who took it as a funny joke. 

"Let's do an early Secret Santa" Yunjin said. 

"Yo, that's gonna be dope. I'm gonna get you that pink vibrator we saw at the store yesterday" Sunghoon said, turning to Heeseung. They honestly thought it was so hilarious. 

"Not sure that's how it works, but i'll write Secret Santa down" Jay said

You all brainstormed ideas for the next hour. Some were honestly pretty bad, but the time you spent coming up with the list, will always be a good memory to you. 

*** 

Near the end of May, in a room eloped in extreme heat, covered with sheets that clanged onto your skin, with a faulty air conditioner running that tried to keep up with the temperature, your phone buzzed. 

Pulling you out of a trance, you quickly grabbed it hoping it was your delivery man, yet Jake's name decorated your home screen. It was getting late, the night crawling closer and closer, so the notification surprised you. You unlocked your phone hurriedly, wanting to see his message as fast as possible. 

Jake: You wanna go on a drive in an hour? 

If your brother wasn't home you'd honestly scream. 

What had gotten into him? You've been trying to send him signals for the past four years, and suddenly after all that time he'd picked up on them? Or was he just trying to be friendly, knowing well he wouldn't be here next year. 

You quickly replied with a 'sure' and got up to get yourself looking as pretty for him as possible. Maybe it was a little sad, the fact you were trying so hard for a man who didn't care, but it made you happy. 

"What you getting all dolled up for?" Heeseung laughed as he stood in your doorway. 

"Going out with Yunjin" you mumbled, delicately applying your lip tint. 

"In a miniskirt and full beat on your face? You ain't slick young lady" he pointed out. 

"We're taking photos for Insta. And this really isn't a miniskirt" you came up with yet another lie. 

You honestly had no idea why you were lying to him. He probably wouldn't bat an eye if you just said you're going out with Jake. He's too dumb to even think twice about it. 

"Can you just get out?" you turned to him, motioning for him to leave your room. 

He put his hands up chuckling, and closed your door. 

Your phone buzzed once again, signaling it was time for you to leave. 

He parked his car just around the street. Heeseung called him earlier asking to hangout, but he already had plans. With you. 

Obviously he couldn't tell Heeseung that, afraid your brother would blow up at him. If only he knew how dumb Heeseung really was when it came to stuff like this. He'd probably think you two are getting a surprise gift for him. 

"You look pretty" Jake smiled, as he got out to open the door for you. 

A light rosy tint decorated your cheeks, as you quietly thanked him. 

"Didn't you want to hangout with Hoon and Hee? I saw them playing Fifa when I was leaving" you asked the boy next to you. 

You couldn't help but stare at his face. He was so perfect in every way, so perfect you couldn't even put it into a cohesive sentence if you wanted to. 

"I'd rather hang out with my favorite girl," he smiled, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at you. 

"Woah okay, what about Rei then?" you questioned sarcastically. 

"You will never let that go, will you?" Jake laughed, reminiscing about his freshman year crush. 

"Well you were the one that couldn't stop yapping about her freshman year" you said, and he just put a finger to your lips, begging for you to stop talking about that embarrassing time in his life. 

Rei was a senior, and honestly you envied her so much back then. Even though she was so incredibly nice, you couldn't help but blame her for 'stealing your man'. 

"If you wanna talk so bad, we can talk about Jungwon" he inquired, turning the table on you. 

Jungwon was like your own Rei. Except this time, he was younger than you. 

"We really don't need to though" you pouted playfully. 

"Oh I really think we do though" he did the same "I was so jealous of him back then" he added with a small smile. 

"You were? Why?" you asked curious why The Jake Sim would be jealous of some random guy. 

The street lamps illuminated his face, making him shine brighter than ever. It still didn't feel real to you. Alone in a car with your older brother's best friend turned crush. 

"He was the only thing you talked about. I guess I just didn't really like that" he answered, a fabricated confidence evident in his tone. 

"Did you cry?" you asked with a pout. 

"Obvi" he answered with a wide smile, looking at you. "You're so pretty Y/n, I hope you know that. And Jungwon is an asshole for rejecting such a gorgeous girl" 

You believed he only said that to make you feel better about yourself, but it still made your insides swarm with butterflies. 

He had looked at you differently that day. Not different in a 'you really need to let me go' way, but a 'i wish we were something more' way. His demeanor had changed for everyday going forward, and you would lie if you said you didn't like it. 

***

"Why did Heeseung call me to ask if I'm hanging out with you?" Yunjin asked over the phone. 

She called you just minutes after Jake dropped you off home. 

"He wanted to check if I didn’t go hook up with some random guy probably" you answered, thanking god for such an intelligent best-friend that knew when to cover for you. 

"Well, were you hooking up with some random guy? Oh my god, please tell me it was Ricky, that senior" she asked “Or Song Eunseok! He’s so fucking sexy, to be honest” 

Yunjin had some odd obsession with Shen Ricky and Son Eunseok, seniors at your high-school. She loved finding people that she could treat as celebrities. 

"I wish. Jake just wanted to hang out, and I guess I didn't feel like telling him the truth" you answered, painting your nails a dark red color. 

"Did you two kiss?" Yunjin asked excitedly. 

She was the only one that knew about your feelings for Jake. She was pretty awful at keeping secrets but this is something she swore she'd take to the grave with her, unless you two didn't work out. 

"God no Yunjin, we didn't kiss. We just talked and got some food, nothing special" you answered chuckling. 

If only she knew how much you actually wanted to kiss him. His lips, so plump and soft, begging to be kissed. 

"If you ask me, I'd tell you to make a move on him," Yunjin said, voice calm. 

"I know, you've already told me that a million times. But you know he's going away, and even if somehow he did want me, it wouldn't work out with him being so far away" you honestly didn't believe in long distance relationships. How could one fully trust their significant other knowing he's thousands of miles away from you? 

"If anyone could make it work, it would be you two. But I don't want to pressure you into anything, just saying" she replied and you could feel the honesty in her tone. 

*** 

On the 8th of June, Sunghoon decided that the group needs to start preparing for Hanbin's birthday party and execute the second point of your shared bucket list. He's the only one that didn't mind getting sloshed on a random Thursday. 

"Do I really have to sit in the trunk?" Sunghoon asked, examining Jay's dirty trunk. 

"Count the seats in this car, and you'll have your answer" Jay replied, stuffing the blankets into the trunk "I'm even making it more comfortable for you" 

"Wow, thanks so much" Sunghoon mumbled, and with an angry expression got into the trunk. 

"You look like an idiot in there" Jake said walking out of his house with a various arrangement of everyone's favorite snacks "And I'm pretty sure that's illegal" 

"It's illegal only if they catch you" you said and covered Sunghoon with a thin white blanket. 

"That makes it so much less obvious" Jake laughed and got into the backseat of Jay's car "How's my baby doing in the back there?" he asked, turning around to take a look at Sunghoon. 

"Shut the fuck up" Sunghoon mumbled from under his blanket, and sticked out his middle finger. 

"I'm calling shotgun, Heeseung" Yunjin glared at the purple haired boy, and quickly sat on her reserved seat. 

"Are you really making me sit next to thing one and thing two over there" Heeseung asked his hand resting on the hood of the car in front of Yunjin. 

Yunjin just shrugged and connected her phone to the aux. Thank god she was the dj for this trip cause you wouldn't physically and mentally be able to handle two hours listening to 'Heeseung's handpicked UK drill mix'. 

Unlike others you liked the middle seat. It felt the closest to everyone in the car with great access to the beautiful view in front of the windshield. 

"If only Heeseung wasn't next to you" Jake whispered, as you sat down next to him. You smiled and playfully nudged his shoulder. 

"I can hear you" you heard Sunghoon's annoying voice behind you. You could also hear him playing the watermelon game. Sunghoon's screen time was for the most part that stupid game he wasn't even good at anyway. 

"First we have to hit up my good friend Yeonjun at the gas station. Please call me James Blunderbuss for now, I really need to get in the role" Jay announced as everyone already got comfortable in their designated seats. 

"No ones calling you that," Heeseung declared. 'James Blunderbuss' couldn't even get past your lips if you tried to. "Plus Yeonjun goes to our school you fucking dumbass" 

*** 

The dazzling, hot sun sets on your skin, a soft wind blows in your face as Jay opens up a bottle of beer for everyone. The cold glass cools you down. 

Something about this landscape and the surroundings was so refreshing and inviting. You've been here before, but this felt like a first. 

"Drink up fast Heeseung, we're playing spin the bottle" Sunghoon declares and takes a long sip of his beer. 

"You're a freak if you want me to kiss my own sister," Heeseung said with disgust in his voice. 

"Then you're not playing. More chances for me to kiss the beautiful ladies in front of me" Sunghoon beamed, and chugged down the rest of his bottle. 

"Can you sit or something for like one minute?" Jake asked, glaring at Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon rolled his eyes playfully and turned to Jay next with a pleading look in his eyes. 

"You fucking champ, chugged that bottle down like a pro. Good thing it was your last one for the next hour" Jay pouted, and continued scrolling through his playlist. 

"First y'all make me sit in the trunk, and now I can't even drink some beer in peace" Sunghoon grumbles, and lays down on the soft material of his blanket. 

"You going for a swim?" Jake turns to you, voice low. 

He didn't know what was happening to him. Ever since the realization hit him that this is your last summer together, he wanted to spend everyday with you. Even if you were to sit in complete silence, it's the fact that you're together which made his heart feel fuzzy and warm. 

You smiled and nodded "You want my beer Hoonie?" you asked Sunghoon who had already given up on his alcoholic dreams. His face lit up as he grabbed the bottle from you. 

Jake grabbed your soft hand, and dragged you towards the glistening water.

 You didn't exactly catch the moment when you fell for him. When you first saw a scrawny, Australian boy in your house, you well remember thinking he was just another one of Heeseungs dumb friends. Some things as simple as that made you question everything about your friendship with Jake. 

"Is it cold?" you asked, covering your eyes with the palm of your hand. Jake had already gotten in, and you'd noticed a slight disappointment in his expression. 

"A little. But I'll keep you warm if needed" he smiled and gestured for you to get in. 

You took off your blouse and pants quickly striding towards his toned figure. The water was indeed freezing (which was odd taking in account the warmth of that day), but Jake didn't let you get used to the temperature change, pulling you into his embrace as soon as you got close enough to him. 

"Is it that bad?" he asked with a wide smile. 

"Yeah, it is," you answered, your body trying to adjust to the water's temperature. 

His eyes were shining, tanned skin glowing under the sun's warm embrace. He had the brightest smile plastered on his face, and you just couldn't help but stare. 

"I wish you didn't have to go away," you hummed. 

"You are always welcome to come visit me in LA. Alone, with Yunjin, Heeseung, just hit me up" he replied calmly. 

You wondered how he could be so unbothered by this. He was about to embark on an individual journey, all alone in a big city, yet managed to remain calm. Or did he just not want to ruin it for everyone? 

"If you pay for my transport, sure" you gave him a small smile, and slowly started pulling him towards the land. 

"Anything for you" he replied, and you almost start to descend in the golden hope of his words. 

In a matter of 10 minutes, bottles managed to surround everyone on the sheer blanket. Jay, who was supposed to refrain from drinking, was tipsy beyond repair. Yunjin and Heeseung looked fine, Sunghoon was the problem. His alcohol tolerance was so bad that two beers managed to take him out. You wondered how he was going to survive Hanbin's long awaited birthday party. 

"I guess you'll have to drive tonight my boy" Heeseung beamed, turning his head towards Jake, and patting him on his his shoulder 

Jake just laid down on the blanket letting the hot ground and sun burn into his skin. 

He knew these were the last moments that he'd get to spend with everyone where everything will still be normal. Yes, he'd come back, his whole family is here, but it'd just be awkward and weird next summer. Everyone would have a different life, without one another. Next time, all of you will be different people. 

… 

“Who knew completing this bucket list would be so tiring,” Sunghoon said, throwing himself on the couch. 

It was the 13th of June. Today was the day everyone, especially Sunghoon, has been waiting for. Sung Hanbin’s 18th birthday party. 

So far you’ve completed only one thing, well unless someone has actually kissed ‘20 sexy ladies’, which you highly doubted. 

“Are you taking a piss, we’ve only done one thing” Jay answered angrily, looking Sunghoon up and down “Well unless Jake has finally kissed Y/n” he added with a slight laugh, looking over at you and Jake. 

Jake just rolled his eyes, and stuck his middle finger right into Jay’s face. 

“Can we seriously not talk about them, they’re disgusting,” Heeseung pleaded, hating the sudden romantic interest between you and Jake. He didn’t really take it seriously though. 

It seemed like everyone noticed something you two didn’t. Even though you’ve liked Jake for a while, you were fine with the fact that he would never reciprocate. But maybe you’ve just gotten so used to it, you couldn’t see through his actions. 

“Hanbin asked if we’re pulling up today,” Yunjin announced. 

“Why the fuck is my brother, my boy, my bae texting you and not me” Sunghoon suddenly rose from his comfortable position on the couch. 

“It’s because they’re fucking on the low” Heeseung answered, completely unbothered, scrolling through Youtube shorts on his phone. 

You knew very well that Hanbin and Yunjin have been talking for some time now, and to be completely honest, you thought everyone knew. But at the end of the day, you couldn’t really expect much from Sunghoon. 

“That’s bullshit, he prefers pretty girls” Sunghoon said smiling widely at Yunjin 

“Oh isn’t someone just so jealous I stole their boyfriend?” she answered, frowning sarcastically. 

Sunghoon just rolled his eyes and returned to his previous position. Yunjin laughed and since no one disagreed, she replied to Hanbin with a quick confirmation. 

“I can drive if y'all don't have a ride” Jake said, sitting next to you on the edge of the couch. Deep down he hoped Yunjin hadn’t already offered you a ride. 

“No thanks, I am not sitting in the trunk again” Sunghoon said, reminiscing on the back pain he had to endure after the lake trip. 

“As if I wanted to take you anyway” Jake replied, and turned his head towards you “What about you?” he asked, giving you a small smile. 

“Yunjin is already driving me. But you can come with us if no one needs a ride” you smiled, and he was about to say yes until an annoying voice filled the room. 

“My boy, who’s gonna go with you if not me?” Heeseung said, crushing Jake’s dreams in a second. 

Even though it wouldn’t be the two of you alone, the mere thought of watching you get ready, and walking into Hanbin’s house with you like you're all his, made him excited. His mind was making up the wildest scenarios, and he would lie if he said he didn’t like it. Something inside him has changed, and Jake had a seemingly hard time figuring it out yet. 

“Yeah sure” he nodded towards Heeseung, who was happy to score yet another free ride with Jake. 

….

“So what, are you gonna finally talk to Ricky or Eunseok, or is your precious little crush on Jakey holding you back again?” Yunjin asked, as the two were getting ready in your bathroom. 

You loved the girl but her nagging was like a punishment from the devil himself. She’s been begging you to ask out Shen Ricky or Song Eunseok ever since they just slightly smiled at you, or asked for your help. You never took any of those things seriously, but she seemed to see the situation differently. 

“Yunjin honey, they are not interested in me. Plus, isn’t Eunseok dating Kazuha?” you asked, trying to turn the attention away from you knowing Yunjin loves gossip more than anything else, and she probably knew all about their breakup. 

“They broke up two weeks ago. She cheated on him or something” she answered “So he’s single and ready for you” she added with a cheeky smile. 

‘Yeah sure, sure. Well, I’m still waiting for Jake so it’s going to be a no” you responded, hoping she’d just let go of the whole Ricky Eunseok thing. 

“Y/n you’ve been waiting for him way too long. I think it’s time to move on, literally so many cuter boys have asked you out and you’ve turned them all down. I don’t want to say you’ve been missing out, but you kinda have been.” 

“I know, Yunjin. But something just tells me it’s not over yet. If he doesn’t ask me out this summer I promise I’ll hit up Eunseok, or Ricky, or Anton, whoever you want” you answered, another attempt to just end the topic all together. 

“God, not Anton. Isn’t he like a Con Artist or something?” 

…. 

As the long road came to an end, you had yourself double checking the address, cause no way in hell Sung Hanbin lived in an apartment complex so luxurious. Everything about it, from the bodyguard standing still in front of the large metal gates, or the tall, perfectly clean windows. 

“You sure this it?” you asked Yunjin. It was stupid, she’s probably been here more than anyone else in the past month. 

“Nah, I just drove all the way out here for fun” she chuckled, and unbuckled her seatbelt, stopping the car. 

Another car had just pulled up next to you, the radio turned up to a max, music spilling from it. You shook your head, expecting it to be Jake and the rest of your friends. 

“Wonbinnie!” Yunjin screamed, racing towards the black vehicle. 

Yunjin wasn’t the type of girl to commit to any relationships. She liked a quick hookup, or the feeling of having more than one boy pinning for her. In some way you envied her confidence and mindset. 

“Y/n!” you turned to see Eunseok’s gorgeous face yelling out to you. You smiled and quickly made your way towards him. 

You couldn’t lie and say you didn’t like Eunseok just a little bit. He was such a sweet and caring person. Sometimes you wished he wasn’t so nice and handsome at the same time. He gave you a short side hug, and a pretty smile. 

“How have you been? I heard you and Kazuha are through” you asked, hoping it wasn’t too early for those type of questions. 

You waved at Seunghan and Anton who were stood behind him. 

“Yeah, honestly I don’t really care” he laughed, and you could see it was genuine. You guessed they weren’t that serious after all “I see your date has left you already” he said, looking around the parking lot. 

You turned around to see that Yunjin, along with Wonbin, was completely gone. 

“Yeah, cause your fuckass friend took her. Doesn’t he know her and birthday boy have a thing going on?” you asked, pulling him towards the gates. 

“Everyone knows,” Seunghan inquired, walking right behind you. 

…

To be honest, you didn’t really know Hanbin. He was practically a stranger to you, never getting to really interact with him outside of school. Knowing Sunghoon and Jake, two of his best friends, made you feel at least a little closer to him. 

“Yoo, look who showed up” Hanbin cheered, holding a red solo cup in his hand, greeting Eunseok with the other “I hoped your annoying asses wouldn’t pull up” he laughed, his tone laced with alcohol. 

They just laughed and handed him a bottle of whiskey, you assumed that was their idea of a good gift. 

“Happy to finally meet you, Y/n” Hanbin smiled at you, and put his hands up, signaling you to hug him, since his hands were already full. “I thought you’d come with Jake. Kinda surprised to see you pull up with these weirdos” you two laughed, and you let go of him, handing him yet another gift bag. 

“Aren’t they here already?” you asked, looking around his place. 

“Nah, Sunghoon probably did some stupid shit already, and they’re running late again” you fully believed that was the reason, a flood of odd memories with Sunghoon coming back to you. 

“Yall can help yourself to anything, it’s all in the kitchen” Hanbin motioned all of you to the kitchen, a wide variety of beverages waiting to be digested. 

You decided to text the group chat, a little concerned as to where they all went. All you got in reply was a picture of Sunghoon sitting on the toilet, face red. 

“I’ll go look for Yunjin, see you guys around’ you turned to Eunseok, Seunghan and Anton smiling. 

“Y/n! Before you go, Jay told me you’d be interested in a fake ID, you know, for a pretty girl like you I can make it 30$. Just hit me up” he smiled, pulling out his own counterfeit document. 

‘Nicholas Flubbernoodle’ 

“Mhm, sure. I’ll text you” you smiled and left them in the kitchen. What was wrong with him, seriously. 

The dining room wasn’t so crowded, only a couple people keeping a conversation going while sipping on some liquor. Guess this was their escape from the lively living room. 

“Have you seen Yunjin anywhere?” you questioned the black haired boy who sat opposite from you.

“She was just here, I think,” Gunwook answered, not-so-helpfully “You want some?” he asked, pulling out a half empty bottle of Vodka. 

“Sure” you answered, tired from searching for the only person you fully knew here. 

“You’re with Jake, right? Yall cute or whatever” Gunwook said pouring you a cup of Vodka with cranberry juice. 

“Nah” you said taking a large sip “Not yet though” you added. 

“Damn you like him and shit? He don’t wanna ask you out though, huh?” he questioned. 

You laughed. It was such a simple concept yet Gunwook was finding it so hard to understand. Yet it did make your heart beat faster when he initially thought you and Jake were dating. You looked over at the already empty cup next to you on the wooden table.

“The king is finally here” a faint voice you knew very well screamed into the crowd next door. 

Sunghoon finally beat death in your house's bathroom, it seemed. 

“You finally came!” you beamed as Jake’s pretty face appeared in the door frame.

You pat down the stool next to you, and he happily sat down placing his cup next to yours. 

“I’ll leave you guys at it” Gunwook said, standing up from his seat, pulling the boy next to him with him “Good luck, Y/n” he added and left the room. 

“What the fuck did that mean” Jake asked as his eyes followed the two boys out of the room. 

“He’s drunk, that’s all” you smiled “Half an hour late, not cute Jake” you added quickly. 

He laughed and pulled out his phone. With a few swift clicks he showed you a video of Sunghoon begging for mercy on the toilet. By the way he’s screaming you’d think he was getting brutally tortured. 

“We gave him spicy noodles with a shit ton of lactose,” Jake laughed. 

“Isn’t he like intolerant” you laughed, replaying the video one more time. “He’s never gonna live this down” you added and handed the phone back to Jake. 

You spotted the juice and vodka Gunwook had left behind “You want some” you said pointing your head towards the bottles. 

Jake nodded and chugged down his drink to make space for something else. You reached over for the bottles, and poured it in his empty cup. 

“This is nice,” he said after taking a sip. The alcohol burned his throat a little bit, but he’s gotten used to it by now. 

“Well no duh. Made by a girl like me, so obviously it’s nice” you smiled and poured yourself another cup. 

“A hot girl, right?” he slurred, and looked at you “You look so good in that dress”

“You bought it for me after all” you smiled, trying to contain yourself from doing something you’d regret. 

“And you’re letting other guys see you like this? Should’ve kept it for me and only me” he moved closer to you. 

You knew it wasn't the alcohol making him act like this. He’s only had two drinks after all. 

“And why would I do that, mmh?” you asked, with a sly smile, riling him up just a tiny bit more. 

“Cause you're mine, yeah? All of this is mine” his eyes scanned you. 

You felt his breath down your neck, and that’s when the self restraint you had flew out the window, as you pressed your delicate lips against his plump ones. Your heart heaves uneasily as you give into his soft touch, hands pressed against your hips, as he pulls you closer to his chest. 

The kiss was lustfull, full of built up feelings that’ve been stored up in your hearts for ages. His lips were like a magnet; just when you thought it was over they pulled you back in for more. He tasted like vodka and cherry chapstick, and you just couldn’t resist him. 

“Fuck, no one can make you feel this good. Only me, remember that” he said breathlessly, holding you up against his chest. “Don’t tell anyone about this, yeah? It can be our little secret” he said, planting kisses down your neck. 

“Mmh” you answered out of breath, your nails digging into his back. 

“I guess another point of the bucket list completed for me” Jake muttered. 

“Vivienne Wooblegooble, what do you- What the fuck” Anton beamed, walking into the dining room. 

… 

It’s been two weeks since Hanbin’s birthday party. And you kept your promise. Apart from Anton who desperately wanted to sell you a fake ID, nobody knew. You were good at keeping promises and secrets. 

It didn't quite hit you when it happened. Maybe because some part deep inside you expected it to happen. Or maybe because you subconsciously we're preparing for that moment to finally come. No matter what it was, you didn't care. You could finally enjoy having Jake all to yourself. 

You found it fun, the fact no one knew. Your brother, Lee Heeseung, had a head of bricks, not even budging when he caught Jake leaving your room, alone, in the middle of the night. He just dapped him up, and asked if he wanted to play Fifa. 

But everyday you were getting closer to the start of the school year. That meant that not only everyone would leave, but most importantly, Jake was going to leave. 

“My boys, we gotta go hunting. Twenty sexy ladies won’t kiss themselves” Heeseung announced as all of you, alongside Hanbin and Anton, gathered to watch movies at your house. 

“This is exactly why you have never seen a woman naked” Yunjin commented, and once again averted her attention to the TV. 

“That’s lame as fuck. I’m not doing it” Jake said, focused on the movie playing in front of him. 

“Can someone tell me what’s gotten into him suddenly” Jay asked, a weird look on his face as he turned to Jake. 

Jake tried to laugh it off, hoping he can just make up a stupid excuse to not go ‘hunting’, but Jay persisted. It wasn’t the first time, since Hanbin's party, that Jake has been making up excuses to not go hang out with different girls. 

“I’m just trying to look for something serious. Plus I’m tired of hoeing around, Jay” Jake answered, and to be completely honest, it was the worst excuse you’ve ever heard. 

“Well you’re no fun” Heeseung said, picking up his keys “Boys, we have a mission to complete. Without his horse looking ass” he added, pointing to Jake. 

“Hanbin, you not coming?” Sunghoon asked, but quickly noticed Yunjins grasp on the boy's arm, “Oh, I see, you’ve become a kiss ass just like Jake” he laughed and took a zoned out Anton with him. Hanbin just muttered a quick ‘fuck off’, and continued to entertain your bestfriend. 

You heard the door shut, with that, loud screams coming from outside. 

“We’ll leave you guys alone maybe, no one’s coming anytime soon, so do whatever you want” you smiled at Hanbin and Yunjin, leaving to go upstairs with Jake. 

The staircase creaked under your feet, as you quickly pulled Jake to your room. You knew that your friends downstairs would easily entertain themselves alone. He smiled as you pulled him inside, he drew you closer to his body, heat radiating off him. 

“I’m impressed, they’re gonna flame you later for that, you know?” you said, sitting down on his lap, as he placed himself on the edge of your bed. 

“I really don’t care. All I need is this” he gave you a sly smile, eyeing you down. 

You smiled, and hugged him tightly, enjoying every second you got to spend with Sim Jake. Maybe this was gonna end up just like any other summer fling, but that didn’t matter. You had him now, and you weren’t gonna waste that. 

“God, I wish I told you earlier, maybe we’d have more time together” he said, his hands wandering on your back, as he tried to close any room between your bodies. 

“We don’t have to worry about that now” you said, removing yourself from the crook of his neck to look at him “You just have to promise to call me everyday. And visit whenever you can, okay?” you asked, and he happily nodded his head. 

… 

Keeping secrets from your brother was fun. You’d do it all the time. Seeing his reaction when he did actually find out, was the funniest thing ever. Although real, he'd have the wackiest reaction ever, expression close to the ones in fake 3am youtuber pranks calls. 

But this time it was different. 

Heeseung had come home early from soccer practice, you didn’t even hear him come in. He had wanted to surprise you with some sweet treats, knowing you were sick. But he had been welcomed with an even better surprise. 

Jake wanted to cheer you up knowing you weren’t feeling your best, and since no one was home, you invited him over. Heeseung wasn’t supposed to be home until late. 

So that’s when for the first time in your life, your brother had sat you down to have a serious talk. 

“How long has this been going on? Ever since you met him? How could I be so stupid to not notice? Oh my fucking god Y/n, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked thousands of questions at once, and you didn’t even know which one to answer first. 

“Heeseung stop freaking out. It’s only been a couple of weeks” you said, not even being able to look at him. You didn’t want to see an expression of disappointment on your brother's face, all because of you. 

“And I’m guessing no one knows?” he asked, and to your surprise his tone was calm. 

“Anton does, he caught us while trying to sell me a fake ID” you answered, as stupid as it sounded, you had to keep a serious face on. 

“That fucking wackass scammer. What name did he come up with for you?” Heeseung asked, and that’s when you finally had the confidence to look up at him. 

“Vanessa? Or Vivenne Wooblegooble. Something like that” you laughed slightly, and so did he. 

“God can’t he just come up with something normal for once. Mine was Ethan Flapdoodle, but he wanted me to pay 100$ for that shit” he laughed, and turned his whole body towards you “Look Y/n, I’m not one to decide what you do, you know? But I just hoped you’d tell me about something like this” he added, and gave you a small smile. 

“I know Hee, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you” you said. 

“Don’t be sorry. Jake is like for real, my best friend. Like you know, brother from another mother and shit. So I’m glad it’s him and not that knob Eunseok or something. Seunghan told me ya’ll we’re up to something” he voiced with a chuckle “I’m happy it’s Jake actually, he’s a really good fucking dude. Like for real, and you know that too” 

You smiled at his answer, and for the first time in a while, hugged your brother. He was surprised but hugged you back, tighter than ever. 

“How long have you liked him?” he asked, his voice muffled by the material of your sweatshirt. 

“Like four years” you answered, and he quickly pulled out of the hug, and that idiotic expression decorated his face. 

“Damn you’re loyal as fuck” he said, shocked. 

“Now tell me what’s wrong with Eunseok” you questioned, since all the signs so far pointed to Song Eunseok being a good match for anyone. 

“Yunjin probably told you that Kazuha cheated on him, right? Yeah that’s bullshit, Kazuha called him since he couldn’t find his phone, and saw herself saved as ‘Girl 4’. Turns out he had like 8 of them” he answered “And then that dumb fuck had the audacity to brag about it to us, saying some shit along the lines of ‘Oh I guess I gotta go find a replacement for Girl number 4’” he added, with a horrendous impression of Eunseok. 

You felt bad for believing the fabricated story everyone had passed on about Kazuha, making a mental note to tell Yunjin about the truth later. 

“Anyways, here’s some medicine and your favourite snacks, I hope you feel better so my little sister can smooch Jake again soon” he said, getting up from your bed. “Not thrilled to find out this way, but I’m happy for you two. I’m not gonna tell everyone else though, you should do it yourself” he said with a slight smile, stepping out of the room. 

That’s how your dumb brother found out. And honestly, it couldn’t have gone any better. 

… 

The summer had gone by in a blink of an eye. The memories you made were going to stay with you forever. 

You had eventually told everyone about you and Jake, and it shocked you to see that no one was really that surprised. Well expect Yunjin who stalled you on a phone call for three hours to ask you millions of questions. It was nice to know someone cared. And it was nice to know that people you treated like siblings supported you more than anyone. 

You had finished the bucket list a week before school started again, a week before everyone had to move out. 

Jake had already sent out most of his stuff to his new roommate in Los Angeles, leaving a couple things behind for you. 

Sunghoon and Jay had moved out a little earlier than you thought they would. The first time you had visited them in their new apartment, you were surprised by how ugly it was. But finding out Sunghoon picked it cleared everything up for you. 

Heeseung decided to stay home, since it made no sense for him to move out. You could lie and say you hated it, but in all honesty you were happy. At the end of the day he was your older brother. Your older brother who you loved more than you’d like to admit.  

Yunjin’s idea, Secret Santa, was probably the best thing on that bucket list. 

When you opened the box to find a jar of gherkins and used up lotion, you knew who picked the paper with your name. You had picked Jay, gifting him a Paris Saint-Germain jersey and a gift card. 

The blanket fort sleepover at Yunjin’s house turned out to be a disaster. No one could fall asleep in the neatly built fort, because Sunghoon’s snoring problem had everyone up till 6AM begging for it to stop. 

The bonfire Seunghan had hosted was also a shining memorie that you knew you’d look back on until next summer. You didn’t expect to get close with so many new people this season, but you guess the distance that was about to separate you actually brought all of you closer. 

Anton had begged you then to purchase the fake document since he had already made it, and you didn’t have the heart to say no to him,  the pleading look on his face pulling you into his scam gig. Guess this was his trick to get everyone involved in his illegal business. 

You spent the last week hanging out, having deep talks (which was honestly extremely rare), and looking back at old photos from past summers. It was sweet, seeing everyone so grown up. 

“Look at your uglyass outfit. You loved that shirt so much” you pointed out. 

You played with Jake’s hair as he lied down in between your thighs. It had grown a lot, and you honestly liked it more than you thought you would. 

“There is quite literally nothing wrong with it. All the ladies loved it” he protested, chuckling. 

It was horrendous. 

“Whatever you say. I’m just glad you stopped wearing these tacky tie dye t-shirts” you said, scrolling through the album again. 

“Look at Yunjin! You called me ugly, but she looks like a virgin loser in this one” he called out and you slapped his arm for even having the audacity to offend your best friend like that. 

“At least someone had a glow up” you answered, and scrolled once again. 

“But you liked me. Even with the tie dye minion shirt” he smiled, and turned over to look at you. 

“And I still like you. But a little less without the minion shirts” you replied, a smile on your face. 

“So do you like them or nah? Cause I think I still have them” he questioned with a curious expression on his face. 

“If you like it then I like it too, I guess” you answered, and he moved up a little to be at level with your face. 

“Then I like you. More than anything else in this world. Even more than the minion t-shirt” he said, honesty lacing his tone, a pretty smile decorating his face. 

You grabbed his face, and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead. 

“Remember what you promised me?” you asked, as he lied back down, still facing you. 

“Enlighten me once again, please?” he said, nervous you wouldn’t like the fact that he forgot. But you just laughed. 

“You promised to call me everyday. And visit, anytime you could” you told him once again, and he smiled, the memory coming back to him. 

“You got it baby” 

And so he did. He called every day. He visited anytime he could. He was there every time you needed him. Cause he was yours. He was your Jake Sim, and that summer was yours truly. 

[missmayhemvr]

Like halfway through "how Europe underdeveloped Africa" cause I decided I'd read/listen to it after I had a strong base on knowledge on African history and just holy fuck is he right about nearly everything so far.

Having learned about how extensive African trade was prior to the 18th century and how heavily most African kingdoms shifted in the 16th it's very clear that what he points out in the way the slave trade and the need to aquire firearms grew the European economies while near completely emptying out African economies and how the hard shift to European import goods after Europe had grow through the use of African slave labor and monopoly of trade routes is still a largely still at play in the era of neocolonialism.

The way that Walter Rodney not just points out that this is true, but the depth to which he covers a variety of African kingdoms, their economies, and cultural practices puts even some college level courses to shame while also showcasing the exact ways in which some of these stronger or more expansive kingdoms like the Ashanti, oyo, borno, Kongo, and Benin kingdoms had explicitly tried everything to get guns through any other trade and how the Ashanti, merina, Ethiopian, Burundi Benin kingdoms sought our education and scholars to begin industrialization and the systematic way in which Europeans and Americans prevented that is just, well it's damming.

It's a continuing reminder how from the first stage of European expansion and control they had precisely zero good intentions for the peoples of Africa. That Europe saw Africa as nothing more than a way to grow itself, it's institutions and improve its economies by depriving Africa of labor, materials and freedom which is true to this day, most starkly in the Congo but true across the whole region.

But while the book shows the crimes of Europeans without sugar coating, it also doesn't glorify the African leaders and more importantly those that became collaborative with European despitism. It also does not abide by the word games the European powers like to play and goes in depth to the way Europeans had no actual interest in ending slavery, and that while invading the various kingdoms and communities to "end slavery" the created some of the most brutal slave conditions on this side of the globe, not just in Leopolds Congo but in French forced labor camps and British controlled regions, with the Portuguese being particularly up front about it.

Truly a shame that like most other black radicals Rodney was murdered so young. The rarity to which black radicals even get to 40 shows how desperately capitalist and white supremist try to prevent even the slightest push back from black voices. It also makes clear how much we all need to know this stuff, from debois's black reconstruction to nkrumah's neoimperialism these books give a great understanding of the past and the precise way in which we arrived to the current situation.

I pray that with the new scramble for Africa that is unfolding in front of our very faces, the genocides in the Congo, and Sudan, and the way in which these interlock with the genocide of Palestinians, that we all take the time to properly read and reflect so that we may properly organize and fight back for a fully free and sovereign Africa and Palestine and a world free from white supremacy.

[pascallftv]

Girl Next Door

Next Part Series Masterlist

Dbf!Joel x F!Reader AU

Word count: 5.6k

Summary: You move back into your dad’s farmhouse in the serene countryside after you graduate college. Your dad hires Joel Miller, his best friend and neighbor, to remodel your private bathroom. Your dad is a truck driver and leaves for a work trip for several weeks, leaving Joel in your company to do his renovations and watch over you. Unbeknownst to you, Joel is just as much infatuated with you as you are with him.

Content: This fic will last multiple parts along with plot. It will be slow burn but I promise it’ll be worth it.

Warning: This first part contains mature content but is mostly plot based. (Mentions of masturbation (m and f), dirty thoughts)

This fic will contain a relationship with a 22/48 age gap. Some parts will contain mature content. There is a plot but chapters may be read separately if desired.

“Hi, babygirl.” Your dad said, pulling you in for a tight hug, swinging back and forth in your driveway.

You had just gotten back from your six hour drive home from your university in Chicago. The past four years of your life were stowed away in your little white compact SUV. Your college career had flown by in a blur; it felt like just yesterday you were a mere freshman on campus without a clue in the world as to what you were doing with the rest of your life. Fast forward and you were moving back home to stay with your father as you began your new fully remote digital marketing job. You were lucky enough to land a full-time position with a digital marketing company after completing an internship with them the summer before your senior year of college. Eventually you saw yourself living in a big city like LA, but for the time being, you decided to move back home to your dad’s house to save up some money.

Besides, you hadn’t seen your father in months. He was a full time truck driver, so your schedules clashed terribly. Over your breaks at school, your dad was conveniently scheduled to do month long drives. You missed him terribly, so you moving back home was going to allow you to rebuild your relationship with your father.

“I’m so happy to see you. I’ve got your bedroom all clean and ready to go.” Your father said as you pulled away from your hug. His eyes were beaming with excitement. Growing up, you had always been extremely close. When your mother left him when you were just three years old, he took on the job of raising you as a single father. Eventually when you were old enough to be left home alone, he landed a job with a trucking company to deliver supplies across the country. The decision was tough because the last thing your dad wanted was to leave you for weeks at a time, but the salary was too good to pass up with you eventually wanting to attend a four year university. Your college education was extremely important to your father, so seeing his baby girl all grown up with a degree and a full-time job made him so proud.

“Great!” You said, looking back at your car. “I have so much shit to carry in. Mind giving me a hand?”

“I guess.” Your dad said, his tone laced with mock dread.

You and your dad spent the next hour and a half carrying all of your belongings to your bedroom. You hadn’t realized how much shit you had collected over the past few years. By the time you were finished, you were both exhausted. You both sat in the living room sofa, biting into delivery pizza and sipping on soda. You sat with your legs perched up on the sofa cushion, and you felt so homey and accomplished. You started your first day of work at the start of next week. You were incredibly nervous for your first day, but you decided to shift your focus on spending time with your dad.

“So,” he began, “you remember Joel, right?”

Of course you remembered Joel. Joel Miller moved into the house next door the summer you graduated high school. You’d see him occasionally that summer, typically when you’d go outside to sunbathe and he was working on various chores in his yard. You both lived in farmhouses on expansive land in the middle of the country. He spent his time doing yard work and various home renovations when he wasn’t doing contractor work for his clients. You’d spoken to him on various occasions when your dad would invite him over for cookouts or to watch football games. He was a rather reserved man, something in his past making him an abrasive person. Joel had never been rude to you, but he hadn’t been overly kind either. However, that was his normal to you.

“Of course.” You said, taking another bite of pizza. Your dad sat his plate down on the coffee table, then settled back down into his couch cushion.

“I decided since you’re going to be living here full time again that I’d hire Joel to renovate your bathroom. It’s so outdated and I’d rather you have a space that’s fully functioning for when I’m gone. Besides, I want your space to be the best it can be.” Your dad explained. You smiled at him setting your pizza crust back onto your plate.

“Aw, well thank you, Dad.” You beamed up at him, setting your plate next to his on the table. “So what will the renovations consist of? Will it be functional or is he ripping it out completely?”

“If he’s going to do it, I’d rather him start from scratch and build you the bathroom to your liking. I’ll have you two sit down and discuss what you want done so he can go shop from supplies and get an idea of what you want. He’s going to get started at the beginning of next week.” He explained further. “But— I leave for a work trip on Monday and I won’t be back for at least five weeks. I figured you two can handle it and Joel is my buddy, so I trust him.”

Your dad went on about how if you needed anything while he was gone with work, that Joel had offered to help you out. Whether that was if you had any issues with repairs in the house, errands, or simply just someone to confide in. It was summer, and the weather typically got bad in your area. Tornadoes and severe weather weren’t strangers in your region, and it made you and your dad feel safer that someone like Joel was on standby.

“Already, honey. I’m beat. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” Your dad said, standing up from the couch. You stood up next to him and reached out for another hug.

“Goodnight, Dad. Thank you for helping me today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said, your dad squeezing you tight.

Your dad normally wasn’t an affectionate guy, so you knew he was ecstatic for you to be home. This warmed your heart.

The next day, you spent most of the day unpacking most of your belongings. You started with your clothing, and ended with your toiletries and other essentials. When you were finished, you decided to throw on your bikini to go sunbathe in the backyard. It was a beautiful summer day, and you wanted nothing more than to relax and catch a tan before you spent most of your days inside on your computer. You slipped on your black bikini. It was simple, but it was flattering on your curves and showed off your patchwork tattoos. You threw on your black sunglasses, making sure to grab your headphones, then grabbed a towel from your bathroom. Your dad was right— it was very outdated and your shower and sink were showing signs of age. You were surprised both of them still functioned properly.

When you walked outside, you caught eye of your dad sitting across from someone on the patio. The figure sitting in the chair across from your father’s had ashy brown hair with streaks of gray running through it. He was wearing a washed out denim button up and a pair of dark washed jeans, acccompanied with a worn out pair of work boots. You quickly realized it was Joel.

Your dad’s head turned at the sound of you opening and closing the patio door. He immediately cracked and smile and waved at you.

“Hi sweetie.” He squinted at you, the midday sun bright against his bare eyes. Joel turned his head to to the side, locking eyes on you. He observed you with his dark brown eyes and a knit brow. He ran his calloused fingers over his salt and pepper beard as he took in the sight of you in just your skimpy bikini. Your dad introduced you as you walked towards them, you suddenly feeling insecure under his friend’s gaze. You hadn’t realized Joel was over, otherwise you wouldn’t have stepped out in minimal clothing.

“I’m sure you remember each other.” You dad continued, gesturing between the both if you. Joel nodded, his eyes baring into the dim lenses of your sunglasses.

“I do, you’re much more grown now than the last time I’d seen ya.” Joel said, his voice deep and gruff. Your stomach did a flip at his words. Why were you feeling this way?

Get a grip. You told yourself.

“Yeah.” You breathed out. “18 to 22 is a lifetime within itself.”

Joel nodded then looked back towards your father.

“I told her that you’ll be working on her bathroom for the next several weeks while I’m gone. She might run into a hiccup here and there where she might need to call you over for some help. Shouldn’t give ya too much trouble.” Your dad teased, his eyes dancing between the two of you. Joel nodded and took a sip out of the beer bottle in his hand then dropped it to rest on the arm of his chair.

“I won’t have any other gigs lined up while I’m working here. I should be around if you need me.” Joel spoke, his gaze finding yours once again. You sent him a gracious smile.

“Wonderful, thank you.” You replied. After a moment, you glanced down at your attire and cleared your throat. “I won’t keep you. I came out to get some sun before I’m stuck inside working next week.”

Joel’s eyes were still locked on you, his gaze flickering down your body and back up to eye level. Your skin felt on fire under his stare. There was something about how stern and rigorous his aura was that held your attention captive. The newfound attraction you were suddenly feeling for Joel had you puzzled and almost appalled at yourself. He was definitely a handsome man, but he was over twice you age and he was your father’s best friend. You internally scolded yourself. You weren’t sure why you were suddenly feeling this way towards Joel, but you knew you’d have to shun those thoughts away. It was preposterous.

“There’s a chance for storms next week, get that sun while you can.” Your dad said, your eyes moving from Joel to him. You frowned and adjusted the towel in your arms.

“Great.” You said sarcastically. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”

You sent them both a smile and your father waved you off. You ventured off the patio and onto the trimmed green grass of the backyard. You father and Joel’s properties were gorgeous. The expansive land overlooked a spacious field with a forest in the distance. Just before the unruly tall grass of the field was a large manmade pond with a dock that Joel had built the summer he moved in. The country was serene and beautiful. The only sounds were those of the wind whistling and the occasional airplane flying overhead.

You laid your large beach towel down on the grass. You put on your headphones and carefully laid down on your back. The sun already felt amazing on your skin. During the school year, you hadn’t had much free time to do little self care things like this. You knew the sun wasn’t great for your skin in the long run, but it wasn’t often you got to bask in the sunshine.

As you sunbathed, your dad and Joel engaged in random conversations. They discussed the weather, recent football news, the bathroom remodel, and various other things. Your dad did most of the talking while Joel tried his best to interpret what he was saying. Joel’s gaze was fixated on how perfect your breasts looked as you laid on your back taking in the sunshine. Your nipples were peeking through the thin fabric of your bikini top, not leaving much to his imagination. He adjusted in his chair. He felt his cock hardening inside of his jeans, and mentally he was punching himself. You were way too young for him. Not only was the age gap an issue, but you were his best friend’s daughter. Despite how morally distraught these feelings were making him, Joel couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off of you. He’d avert his gaze to the pasture every so often so your father wouldn’t catch on, but every time he felt his attention reverting right back to your body.

“I hate that I won’t be here when you’re remodeling.” Your father said, rubbing the bottom of his beer bottle in circle on the wooden arm rest of his chair, observing the stains the condensation from the chilled glass left. “But I trust your judgment. And I trust her taste.”

“You know me. I’m a perfectionist.” Joel’s lips twisted into a half smile, lifting his beer to take another sip. Your father smiled back at him, chuckling and shaking his head.

“You’ll probably drive her crazy with how particular you are.” Your dad joked. It went quiet for a second, the both of them sitting in the peaceful quiet in thought.

“You know, I really thought she’d be engaged and off in some big city somewhere by now.” Your dad spoke, his head leaning back and him closing his eyes to feel the sun beating down on his skin. Joel swallowed hard, looking back towards you. You’d flipped on your stomach, your ass on perfect display for him. His cock twitched in his pants, and he quickly adjusted himself before your father reopened his eyes.

“Why’s that?” Joel responded.

“She’s always been such a romantic. Dunno where she got it from, sure as hell wasn’t me. After her mom left, I didn’t even try to date.” He began. “When she was teenager she was obsessed with romance films and novels. She was always crushing on someone.”

Your dad ran a hand through his graying hair and sighed.

“She got her heart broken pretty bad her senior year of high school. She was dating this asshole for two years and then he cheated on her. Since then, I don’t think she’s even tried to date. Makes me sad for her, but then again I guess it let her focus on her school work.” He explained. Joel felt a tightness in his chest at his words. He was almost jealous.

You were one of the most beautiful women Joel had ever laid eyes on. Not only were you pretty, but you were a kind, wise soul. In the times he’d been around you before you left for college, you acted beyond your years. You were intelligent and engaging to speak to. His infatuation with you had started when you were eighteen, but he had always shunned away his attraction for everyone’s sake.

Joel did know one thing for sure. He didn’t know how in the hell he was going to hide his feelings for you for the next several weeks.

Monday came sooner than you had anticipated. You had said goodbye to your father the night before because you knew Monday was going to be chaotic with him loading up his luggage for his trip while you were making sure your setup was flawless for your first day of remote work. You’d spent the rest of the weekend rearranging you bedroom and workspace while also prioritizing spending time with your father. You were used to rarely seeing him while you were away at college, but it still pained you to see him leave for the next several weeks.

You began work at nine in the morning. You were a digital marketing assistant for a company within the entertainment industry, so your daily tasks consisted of editing social media content. As long as you got your tasks done for the day, you could take breaks and technically end your day whenever you wanted. By two in the afternoon you had already finished your first day of work, and you immediately felt a weight lifted off your shoulders. You were worried for no reason. You were more than qualified and you enjoyed your work.

You and Joel planned to sit down and discuss the plans for your bathroom remodel that evening, so you spent a majority of the rest of the afternoon researching renovation inspiration. You saved several pictures of showers, sinks, and layouts that you liked to show Joel. You were nervous to see Joel. You were normally very good with hiding your attraction for people, but something about Joel made you extra nervous. You were terrified you were going to act weird and make it painfully obvious. You sighed and stood up from your desk, deciding to take one last shower in your bathroom before it was out of service for the next couple months.

You grabbed your waterproof speaker and connected your phone to play some music as you showered. You decided to shuffle your classic rock playlist and turned the water as hot as it could go. One of your flaws was needing scorchingly hot shower water. You hummed along to “Beast of Burden” as you brushed through the tangles in your hair. Your thoughts began to run crazy as you disassociated while prepping for your shower. Your mind drifted off to Joel. You couldn’t help but wonder about his personal life. Was he seeing anyone? Has he ever been married? If so, what happened? Your thoughts were running wild as you stepped into the shower, the water almost being too hot to withstand, but it felt perfect on your skin.

The water ran off your skin, your hair soaking as you emulsified shampoo between your palms. A scenario began to play in your head. You imagined it were Joel’s large, coarse hands scrubbing the shampoo into your scalp. You closed your eyes and parted you lips as you imagined him towering over you from behind, his front touching your backside as he massaged the shampoo into your locks. The shea butter scent filled the steamy shower stall, the suds falling down the soft skin of your body. You felt a rush of arousal send a tingle down your abdomen into your core. You felt naughty having such disgusting thoughts about your dad’s best friend, but you hadn’t felt this aroused in months. You hadn’t had sex since your last high school relationship. You’d gone on a few dates in college, but none of them ever led to anything. The furthest you’d gone with anyone was a few steamy make outs at the club on the weekends when you got a little too drunk, but you never ended up taking anyone home.

You nipples began to harden under the flow of water from your shower head. Your eyes flickered up to inspect the shower head. It wasn’t detachable. You groaned in disappointment. You needed friction immediately. Your hand reached up to your breasts, softly toying with the supple flesh of your nipple. You ran gentle circles around the raised skin, pinching the mound between your fingertips. You exhaled deeply, your folds slowly begging to become coated in arousal. You squeezed your thighs together to try and relieve the discomfort. Your clit was throbbing at the crest of your folds. You slowly lowered your hand down your torso to your clitoral hood, lifting it up ever so softly to graze your sensitive bud. Your legs jolted at the sudden wash of pleasure in your lower abdomen. You carefully danced circles around the bundle of nerves. After teasing your clit for a moment, you lowered your fingers to swipe up your vulva, then teasing the soft skin around the opening of your vagina.

You inserted your index finger into your opening, curling it upwards to run over the rough skin of your g spot. You moaned softly as you began to pump your finger in and out of yourself. You added a second finger as your canal adjusted to the girth of your first finger. You couldn’t remember the last time you masturbated, so the intense pleasure was overcoming your senses exceptionally fast. You free hand moved downwards to press against the flesh of your pelvic bone, pushing your g spot further against your fingertips. You gasped as you felt the estranged feeling of your orgasm creeping up on you. The white heat of you climax was in the distance, and you moved your outer hand to run circles around your clit. The added pleasure of the clitoral stimulation sent you into pure euphoria. Your orgasm hit you suddenly, your pussy clenching around your fingers. Your eyes rolled back in your head as your climax hit you like a train, your legs losing their strength beneath you. You moaned audibly, your hand jutting out to stabilize yourself against the wall of your shower.

What you didn’t realize as you were pleasuring yourself in the shower was Joel had entered your house to meet with you about your bathroom. He’d figured you were finishing up your work day, so he took a seat on the sofa downstairs. He had texted you several minutes ago and you weren’t responding. He tapped his finger against his thigh, soon realizing he could hear the shower running upstairs. His mind drifted off to imagine how your naked body would look covered in suds and glistening from the water in the shower. He felt like a horny teenage boy. You had been infiltrating his thoughts like crazy since the day you sunbathed. Embarrassingly enough, Joel had jacked off two nights in a row over the sight of your tits and ass in that tiny bikini. He wanted nothing more than to explore your body without the obstruction of clothing. He felt vile and disgusting thinking so animalistically about you, but the infatuation was overcoming him.

Joel’s ears perked up when he heard your muffled moans coming from upstairs. His brows knitted together as he tried to decipher what he had just heard. You couldn’t be, could you? His suspicions were confirmed when he heard you moan again. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and his mind began racing again. You were masturbating not even twenty feet away from him. He felt his pants begin to tighten, and he let out a breathy moan as he palmed himself over his jeans. He felt so dirty and desperate. He longed to bound up the stairs and join you, fucking you against the wall of your shower, your soapy breasts shoved up against the glass door. He tipped his head back and he squeezed his penis through his jeans, the tent struggling against the tight material. He could feel himself leaking into his boxers. In a quick decision, Joel pushed himself off the couch and made his way to the downstairs bathroom. He wasn’t sure how long you would take to finish your shower, but he knew he’d have to relieve himself to be able to have a normal conversation with you about this remodel.

Joel closed the bathroom door, locking it behind him. He wasted no time unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, letting them fall to his ankles. He gripped the sink with his free hand, reaching into his boxers to pull out his throbbing cock. Just as he thought, his tip was leaky and sensitive. He ran his middle finger and thumb in a tight ring around the ridge between his mushroom tip and shaft, stroking it firmly. He breathily whimpered as he gripped the counter harder, his knuckles turning white. He began to pump himself up and down, picturing your breathtaking body in that god for saken bikini again. He imagined pushing you back onto your bed in that skimpy little suit, the ties around your hips loosened. He visualized untying the strings, slipping the material off to expose your perfect pussy to him. God, and your perky tits were enough to make his length twitch in his hand. He stroked himself faster, feeling himself getting closer to release. He replayed the sweet sound of your moan in his head, the small detail being enough for his release to jump in hot spurts against his hand. He moaned as he came hard, his abdominal muscles clenching as his climax overcame his senses.

Joel took a moment to catch his breath and come down from his high before grabbing a tissue to clean up his hand and tip. He exhaled deeply as he tucked his softened length back into his boxers. He wondered if you had finished as he washed his hands with citrus scented hand soap.

You had come downstairs nearly an hour after Joel had finished. That orgasm was exactly what you needed to relax before facing Joel. Sure, you were consciously fighting the remorse after cumming on your fingers to the thought of your neighbor, but you weren’t nearly as nervous as you had been previously.

You’d gotten Joel’s text, and you internally cringed knowing that he was in the house while you were masturbating to the thought of him. You hurried down to greet him, finding him sitting on the sofa. You noticed his cheeks were more flushed than usual, but you assumed he had just been outside doing chores that day and had gotten a little too much sun.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting. I was in the shower and got carried away.” You apologized, sitting down adjacent to Joel. He glanced up at you with his big brown eyes, an emotion running through them that you couldn’t put a finger on.

“No worries.” Joel responded with his gruff voice. He cleared his throat. He seemed stiff, as though something was bothering him. You kept your suspicions to yourself and opened your laptop to show Joel the inspiration pictures you had saved.

“I have a few inspiration pictures for the bathroom.” You said softly, your finger dragging gently across the touchpad of your laptop to navigate to the file where you compiled several pictures of bathrooms you found online. You wouldn’t be very helpful with the actual construction of the bathroom, let alone the shopping for parts, but you had an aesthetic in mind. You turned your laptop so it would be easier for Joel to see, and scooted closer to him. Your thighs were inches apart, and Joel swallowed when he noticed he could feel the heat radiating off your bare thighs. You smelled lovely, like warm vanilla and cashmere. The smell was intoxicating and Joel longed to reach out and touch the soft skin of your leg, but he knew he couldn’t.

The first picture you showed Joel was of a bathroom with white and black checkered floors with forest green tile walls. Your favorite color had always been green, and you loved the retro feel of the checkered flooring. Joel was a very simple man when it came to designs, but he found himself loving the pictures you’d chosen. They were very much you. You swiped through the pictures, briefly explaining what you loved about each one. Joel observed each photo carefully, taking into account what stood out most to you.

“I love the gold and black accents.” Joel said at one of the pictures you showed him. You glanced up at him with a toothy grin.

“I was worried you’d hate it. But I’m so glad you agree.” You beamed, looking back towards your laptop. Seeing your smile made Joel feel warm inside. Something as simple as seeing you smile really made Joel realize the effect you had on him. His attraction was undeniable, but the realization of the situation sent a pang of disappointment through him. You were so young with so much life ahead of you. You’d never settle down for someone at his age. He couldn’t give you the typical life you deserved; he couldn’t bring you kids, and you were just starting your career. He was nearing the end of his. It would be selfish of him to ever try and hold you back from experiencing life. Joel tried his best to push away those dreadful thoughts for the time being and focus on the present. He enjoyed being around you, and he was going to make the most of it without letting his newfound feelings interfere.

“I’ll have to go to the store and scope out some materials. There’s a chance they won’t have everything we need in store and I might have to order online. If I end up ordering online, it won’t be a big deal considering I’ll have to tear out most of your bathroom first.” Joel explained. You listened attentively as he spoke, you gaze focusing on the way the lines in his face moved as he spoke. You could sit and listen to him speak for hours and not get bored.

“Do you mind if I go take a look at your bathroom and take some pictures?” He asked, leaning back to take his phone out of his front pocket. You swallowed hard as your eyes drifted to the crotch of his jeans, observing the protruding outline. You quickly looked back towards his face, but he had noticed. He decided to not address it, but he couldn’t help but feel the electricity strike through him. Maybe he was overthinking it; you were probably looking innocently to see what he was reaching for.

“Oh, yes of course. Help yourself.” You responded, closing your laptop and placing it on the coffee table in front of you. As you leaned forward, Joel’s gaze fell to watch the way your ass peeked out of the bottom of your shorts. He couldn’t help himself. He averted his eyes as you sat back up. He cursed at himself mentally when he felt his dick begin to harden in his boxers.

“Lead the way.” He said, pushing himself off the couch.

He followed you upstairs, his hand immediately falling to his crotch to adjust himself. The friction only made things worse. It didn’t help that he had a perfect view of your ass as you climbed the stairs. He could only hope you wouldn’t notice the tent in his pants once you got to the bathroom.

You lead him through your bedroom, apologizing quietly at the mess since you were still in the process of unpacking all of your belongings. Your room smelled heavenly. It smelled exactly like you and your delicious vanilla perfume. The smell itself made Joel feel weak. When you made it to the bathroom, you stepped aside to give him room to take pictures and observe what needed to be done. You took a moment to really take in his appearance. His shoulders were wide and his muscles were practically protruding through the short sleeves of his button up shirt. His jeans were tight against his muscular thighs, and even tighter against his crotch. You could’ve sworn the bulge in his pants was even larger than you’d observed downstairs, but you looked away quickly. You felt it deep in your core as you thought about the possibility of him being hard around you. You convinced yourself it was impossible.

Joel began snapping pictures of your bathroom, taking close ups of any details he found important. He opened the stall door to your shower, investigating the impurities in its design. It was definitely aged and needed repairs. It was a good thing he would need to rip out the shower entirely to remodel it to your desired design. This remodel would probably take him a couple months. He knew it would challenge his abilities, but it wasn’t anything impossible for him. He knew it was going to take extra time considering he wanted nothing but perfection for you.

“I’ll probably start tearing out the shower and sink tomorrow. I’ll need to go ahead and replace the toilet too. It’ll take me a few days to tear everything out.” Joel exhaled, taking a step back from the bathroom and peering down at you. “I’ll need to go to the store today and order some materials to make sure they’re here by next week. Would you like to come with me to pick out what you want?”

Your belly fluttered at the idea of running to the store with him. It would feel very domestic spending time with him outside of with your father and this remodel. Although it was still for the remodel, you would be able to spend time with him in public and get to know him better.

“Sure, I would love to.” You said, grinning up at him with your doe eyes.

You were close in proximity, and his musky aftershave was intoxicating. If the circumstances were different, you’d waste no time in pulling him into you and kissing him, but you couldn’t do that. You looked away to locate your purse.

“Do you want to go now? Maybe we can get something to eat on the way back?” You said, wandering over to your desk to grab your purse.

“That works.” Joel said, his voice deep and rich. He ran hand through his hair and put his phone in his pocket, replacing it with his keys in his hand.

Joel was nervous. Nervous to spend time with you outside of this project. You were wonderful and he wanted nothing more than to spend time with you, but he knew how dangerous that was for him. He feared the more time spent with you, the more he was going to become infatuated with you. But nonetheless, he led the way to his truck.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Find Your Way Back Home: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: smut, virgin!reader, oral fem!receiving, age-gap romance, angst

Summary: Dean purposely kept you out of the hunting game so you could focus on school and getting your degree. You still help out wherever you can, and that includes being there for Dean in his personal life as much as you can in his hunting life.

Author’s Note: This is the second part of six parts of the commission for @winchester-sinchester. Dean is twenty-six, the reader is eighteen, and Sam is twenty-four.

x

You stare out your dorm window in thought. You haven’t heard from Sam or Dean in a week. Are they alive? Did some monster finally catch up to them and kill them? Are they purposely ignoring you? You’ve been a steady force in their lives since you took down your first vampire eight years ago even if you weren't hunting with them together.

Whenever they would be in town, they’d hit you up and ask you to come along with them. John was with them for a few years until Dean and Sam got old enough to take care of themselves. Then it became only you three, which you preferred. You never liked how John treated his sons when he was with them.

Every time they packed up to leave for the next town, you begged them to take you with them. Dean didn’t want to deprive you of getting an education since you weren't born into the life like they were, so he convinced you to stay in your group home and in school. You studied hard to pass your classes while studying the monster world. The local library had more books on monsters than you thought, so you spent a lot of your time there. On days you weren't studying, you were in that same park practicing shooting and honing your fighting skills against trees.

Sam became impressed with your progress but it wasn’t his approval you were seeking. It was Dean’s. At fourteen when all your friends were experiencing romantic thoughts for the boys in your grade for the first time, you were experiencing them for Dean. He was twenty-two and so much older than you but you couldn’t help but have a major crush on him. Was it wrong to want his touch at such a young age?

He never did anything with you, of course, and you never pushed the idea. You just settled on fantasizing about him and rejecting any boy that came your way in high school. While all your friends were getting their firsts--kisses, losing their virginities, going on dates--you were at home wishing you were doing that with Dean. 

By the time you were sixteen, you touched yourself to the thought of Dean for the first time. By the time you were eighteen, you were planning on taking those fantasies to the next level. You’re an adult now and fully capable of going after what and who you want.

The birds outside your window chirp happily pulling you from your thoughts. You really need to get your homework done if you want to pass this class. Not only did Dean encourage you to stay in school, he encouraged you to go to college. Fighting and breaking into places was cool for a while until you got a taste of technology. Hacking and making code became a passion of yours so your major is in Computer Science. You’re only a Freshman but you’re passionate enough to complete your degree.

Your phone rings and seeing his name pop up on your phone distracts you from your responsibilities. A blush starts to creep up your neck, your heart flutters, and butterflies erupt in your stomach. He’s twenty-six and you’re eighteen. There is no doubt in your mind that he is going to break your heart, but you’ve always been a live-in-the-moment kind of girl.

“Hi, Dean,” you smile when you pick it up.

“What are you doing?”

His voice sounds rough like he’s trying to suppress his emotions. He’s always been very good at that.

“Homework.”

“Open your window.” There is no screen on your window since your roommate almost fell through it trying to jump on your bed when she got drunk. You haven’t had the heart to tell your RA about it. You open your window and look down at the ground to see Dean standing there looking up at you. Damn, he looks pissed. “Are you gonna let me in, sweetheart?”

Thank God your roommate isn’t home right now. You run down to the first floor to let Dean in. Only residents of the building are accessed to key cards that get inside the building. It helps with random people trying to come in whenever they want. It’s mostly for the creeps trying to follow home a bunch of college girls.

Dean doesn’t say anything to you on the journey back to your dorm. He’s never been here before, and you’re suddenly conscious of the random items everywhere. If you had known he was coming, you’d have cleaned a little bit. Dean walks into your bedroom and chuckles at the splashes of color everywhere. Pillows of different colors, the pink on your walls, a few posters on the wall, and nothing like he’d expect.

“Cute room,” he finally says.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m not doing too well, sweetheart.” You wait for him to continue. “Sam’s going off to college. Stanford.”

“Why is that a bad thing?”

Dean snaps his head to you and glares angrily. You’re not sure if he’s angry at himself, Sam, or you.

“He’s fucking leave the family like I don’t fucking matter.”

He sits on the edge of your bed so you take a seat next to him.

“I’m sure that’s not true at all.” You’ve been with them long enough to know that Sam has always butted heads with John. Dean obeys him without a second though but Sam is the rebellious one. “Maybe he wants more than the life your dad forced him into.”

“It’s always been just me and him. It’s always been about putting Sammy first. Now he wants to leave as if everything I’ve done for him doesn’t matter.”

“You do matter,” you whisper. “He knows what you’ve done for him. Him going away to college doesn’t change that.”

Dean looks at you and you get lost in his green irises.

“Whose side are you on?”

“I’m not on anyone’s side. I can see both points.”

Dean sighs. “Who do I have without him?”

“You have me.” Dean shakes his head but you keep him from going anywhere. “I’m serious. All of my classes are online. I could go with you if you want. I don’t have to live here.”

Dean looks back at you and subconsciously glances down at your lips. You part your lips and lick your lower lip and he follows the movements with his eyes. He remembers a conversation he had with you a year ago when you were venting to him about relationships.

“Still haven’t had your first kiss?” You shake your head. “Do you want to?”

His voice is laced with desire. This is it. This is the moment you’ve been after since you’ve had romantic feelings for Dean. Why are you so fucking scared? You nod twice before you can talk yourself out of it, and he looks back into your eyes. Dean leans into you slowly to give you time to back up if you don’t want this and when you don’t, he presses his lips against yours.

You’re afraid that your heart is going to jump out of your chest from how hard it’s beating. Despite the many, many videos you’ve watched on anything sexual, nothing compares to living in the moment. You barely have a chance to kiss back when Dean pulls away.

“Sorry,” you whisper.

He doesn’t move from you. “What for?”

“I’m not very good at this.”

“I’ll teach you,” he smiles.

With more confidence, Dean leans in again. He presses his lips more firmly to yours and grabs the underside of your jaw. He moves your head to the side to control the kiss, a kiss which you’re melting in. You’ve never felt anything like this so you trust Dean to lead you exactly how he wants you.

He swipes his tongue over your bottom lip which makes you part your own, and he slowly slides his tongue into your mouth. Damn, he is really good at this. He sends butterflies swarming in your stomach and a spark of pleasure straight down to your pussy. Dean shifts on the bed and gently lays you down so he can crawl over you. He presses light kisses down your neck as his hands start to roam your body.

You’re wearing a loose shirt which makes it easier for him to slide his hand underneath your shirt. Your breath hitches at the thought of his hand on your breasts, pulling at your nipples until they are perky and hard.

“Is this okay?” he whispers as his hand ghosts your ribs. 

You’re not wearing a bra so he is just shy of touching your breasts. You’re nervous but you welcome the new feelings.

“Yeah,” you whisper back.

He kisses your neck a bit more and slides his hand over your breast. He takes your nipple between his thumb and index finger and rolls it until it becomes hard. You gasp and throw your head back from the slight pleasure. You’ve played with your boobs before but having someone else do it, someone you have a major crush on is something completely different.

Dean lifts your shirt up and removes it so that the only thing you’re wearing is pajama shorts. You decided against underwear because you had no plans on leaving your dorm room. If you knew Dean was coming over, you’d have put on something sexier. Dean kisses down your chest and stops to pull a hardened nipple in his mouth. Damn, so that’s what that feels like. To have a wet muscle lap at something that’s already sensitive.

He doesn’t stop there. He releases your right nipple with a pop and places open kisses on your stomach. He doesn’t want to do anything you might be uncomfortable with so he stops right above the waistband of your shorts.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” you shake your head.

“No? You want me to eat this pretty pussy?”

“Fuck.” He has such a filthy mouth. “Yes, please, Dean.”

Dean smirks and hooks his fingers into the waistband and pulls your shorts down and off your body. He grabs your thighs and spreads your legs so that your pussy is bare to him. Dean leans in and kisses your inner thigh to tease you. The anticipation is making you wetter than it should. You’ve fucked yourself before with your fingers and toys but never have you had someone so close to your most intimate parts.

Dean closes his mouth over your sensitive clit and sucks. Your hips buck against his mouth as you let out a sinful moan. His tongue hooks around your clit, and your hands grab fistfuls of his hair. He licks down to your slit and slides his tongue through your folds, and you arch your back off the bed.

“Fuck, Dean! Right there!” you gasp and tug on his hair to pull him closer to you.

He slides half his tongue into your aching core only to lick back to your clit. He massages your thighs before his right hand runs over your slit. He pushes a single finger into you and grunts when he feels how tight you are. His cock is straining against his jeans but he ignores that for now.

When he feels you get a bit wetter, he slides in another finger and curls them so the pads of his fingers touch that sensitive spot inside. You can feel yourself getting closer to the edge with each thrust of his fingers and each lick of his tongue.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” you gasp.

“Then come.”

With his permission, you tip over the edge and explode all over his mouth. He removes his fingers and laps up every drop you’re willing to give him.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you taste amazing.” 

He kisses up your body until he reaches your lips. Both of you don’t care that your taste is on his lips. He kisses you feverishly, eager to sink himself inside you.

“Do you have a condom?” you ask.

Dean moves off you and digs one out of his pants pocket. He never leaves the house without one. He’s single and loves to mingle so why not always carry one with him?

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes. Please fuck me.”

Dean sheds every layer until he is as bare as you, and you can’t help but look at the sheer size of him. Is he going to fit? He rolls the condom over his cock and pumps it twice to get himself ready.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

“I won’t.”

Dean lays over you and grabs your left knee. He hikes it up so he has enough room to slide inside you. He rubs the tip of his cock over your throbbing cit and you gasp at the pleasure it sends through your body. He pushes in a few inches and that’s enough to get your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

He goes slow and allows you to adjust to him before sliding in a few more inches. The burn of stretching hurts but you tell yourself it’s only for a few minutes. It only takes one. Once Dean seats himself fully inside you, he gives you time to adjust to him. He’s never felt anyone so tight, so perfect for him. You wrap around him like a warm blanket on a cold day. How is he ever going to be able to leave?

“Okay, you can move,” you nod.

Dean starts slow to get you used to him but when he hears your eager moans, he goes faster. He grips your hips and sets a nice tempo that makes your heart lurch into your throat. This is what you’ve been waiting for your entire life. Dean has been the main subject of your fantasies for years now and it’s finally happening.

“Damn, sweetheart, you feel so perfect around me.”

“You feel so good!” you moan. You’re embarrassed to say that you’re closer to your second orgasm than the first one, but Dean’s okay with it because he’s chasing that same high at the same time. “Shit, I’m gonna come!”

“Yeah? Come for me. Come around my cock.”

Dean reaches down and rubs your clit in hard circles to help you over the edge. White-hot pleasure shoots from your core to the rest of your body as you come around him. He shoots his load into the condom and groans in pleasure. He rides out the high before pulling out, and he flops right next to you on the bed.

To prevent the condom from sticking to his ski, he peels it off and throws it into the small trashcan next to your bed. You roll over to face him and he gives you a lazy smile.

“Damn, you really know your stuff.”

“I’ve had practice,” he chuckles.

You scan the features on his face before snuggling closer to him.

“Will you stay with me? My roommate won’t be home all week.”

“I don’t know,” he whispers.

“Why not? Sam got out. He went to college. This could be your chance to get out of the life. It’s time to start your own.”

Dean has to be honest. He has thought about dropping everything and starting a new life somewhere. He’s seen the desirability of an apple pie life. He looks at you and sees that opportunity in your eyes. It wouldn’t hurt to try, right?

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

“Promise?” you whisper.

“I promise.”

You two go to bed together peacefully. However, when you wake up, he’s not next to you. In fact, he’s not anywhere in your dorm. He left and didn’t leave a note behind explaining why he wanted to break his promise. You curl into a ball in bed, unsure how to feel.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[purpurussy]

hi. once you mentioned your thoughts on the take that phil stayed in the closet for dan. could you share it again with the class again. sorry

⚠️ Dan and Phil DNI⚠️

dsfhjjkl I fear I'm not well-educated enough on the lore to have an accurate take. and it's really the notion that he "went back in the closet" for dan that bothers me. but I'll try to explain how I see it and people can feel free to link me to the vitally important receipts that I'm missing here which change the whole narrative lmao

the thing is I don't think it was 100% because of dan. i do think phil would have come out sooner if dan had been in a better headspace with everything, but imo it's not entirely accurate to say that phil would have been out and proud on youtube the entire time otherwise because as far as I can tell, he wasn't ever in that position 😭 would an out and proud man have made snokoplasm.

I think phil was referring to himself as bi on myspace but so was dan back in the day. and I think id'ing as bi in a setting where you don't expect that many people to see it beyond your personal network is a very different kettle of fish from being completely vulnerable and honest about your identity as a full-on celebrity. Phil has also told anecdotes that make me feel like he had 1 foot in the closet and 1 foot out in some ways (eg auditioning for big brother and then being terrified that they'd post his audition tape bc he said he was gay and then instantly regretted it, getting outed to his family by a friend when he was in college and having an awful time with that whole situation) and I certainly haven't seen anything that would lead me to believe he was ever really out as gay (and proud) on youtube at any point before 2019. Phil has also alluded to experiencing internalized homophobia/feeling like there was something wrong with him for being gay, and I feel like people gloss over that since it wasn't as severe as Dan's experiences.

so I don't think it's entirely accurate to say phil "went back in the closet" for dan firstly because I don't think he was ever fully out of the closet until 2019. he was certainly not out and proud with 0 caveats. like he never said it with his whole chest until coty.

then there's the fact that there can be real-world consequences to coming out which can be hard to predict or manage. things are a little different now but I can imagine it would have been tough trying to do a risk-benefit analysis of coming out when they were working with the BBC, trying to get things like world tours and book deals off the ground, and also I think they were probably not hugely financially secure back then (especially very early on/around the time they moved to London). like this is pure conjecture, but I can imagine it could have been tough to come out as gay, not knowing if you'd be inadvertently tanking a career opportunity because oh never mind we already have an openly gay radio presenter on this show and we don't need 2 more, or oh no don't do that because then we'll have to cancel the shows in Russia and Malaysia or whatever ykwim? (I assumed this was also part of the reason why dan had a breakdown about wanting to come out before II started but again that's based on nothing lmao)

now that I'm thinking about nick grimshaw coming out as gay in 2012 and co-hosting the radio show with them I feel like I'm connecting some dots but again this is just me yapping. I remember finding out he was gay back then and I vaguely remember people posting about feeling "betrayed" or being otherwise homophobic towards him but I can't remember whether the general reaction was positive or negative at the time. I also feel like there's something to be said for the fact that a lot of actors/people in situations like this feel like they're competing against other members of their marginalized community, because they can't both be hired for 2 different important roles because there can only be 1 token gay/poc or whatever. anyway food for thought I guess

I also think it's easy to assume Phil was just chilling the entire time since he plays his cards a lot closer to his chest than Dan. he doesn't like to talk about stuff like this as openly as dan and i think that results in us focusing a lot more on Dan's experiences (which makes sense since that's the information we have to work with, but still). he's hinted that it was rough for him to deal with the speculation about them and their relationship back in the day as well, and while I'm the last person to encourage people to start self-flagellating for the demon era, I do think it's worth considering that it can't have been easy for Phil either (I mean it was his face and words in the v-day video. I would have probably been institutionalized if that happened to me I'm just saying. the factors that led to dans no homo era can't have been easy for Phil to deal with either)

point is I think there were a lot of factors that kept them both in the closet. I do agree of course that Phil would've come out sooner if it weren't for dan needing to work through his issues before he was ready to come out (Phil has certainly said as much) but I don't think it's the only reason. I think it was certainly a show of the trust and respect he has for dan that he waited for Dan to be ready in the end, but I also think it's inaccurate when people talk as though dan singlehandedly kept Phil in no homo jail for 10 years and he would've been out and proud the entire time if Dan hadn't had a mountain of trauma and internalized homophobia to work through before he was ready to come out (which as dan himself has said, may have been a lot sooner than 2019, but there were other factors that kept him from being able to do that first)

[ao3-rex1223]

Twist Me series: part II, part III, part IV

Pairing: Professor!Leon x Fem!Reader

Summary: It's the end of fall semester and you're failing Professor Kennedy's class. You're desperate to save your perfect GPA and the generous educator offers you a deal you can't turn down in exchange for an A in his class.

Warnings: Blow jobs, deep throating, spanking, p in v, creampie, orgasm denial, mean Leon, slight degradation, power imbalance.

Merry Smutmas!

“Failing!?” you cry out, your fingers gripping the sides of your head in a panic. Your eyes drop to the floor out of shock then climb back up to Professor Kennedy’s cold stare.

“That's what I said,” he replies; his elbows plant themselves on the top of his office desk as his fingers clasp together. He studies your reaction to the news carefully.

“But…” you begin as you pant, still fully in panic mode. You haven't struggled at all in college so far, but Professor Kennedy’s advanced criminology class has put you through the ringer. “I've never failed a class before…” you state, as much to yourself as to your unfazed professor.

“Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?” Your Professor replies coldly. “You've hardly grasped any of the material and you've failed most of the exams. I don't know why you're so surprised you're going to fail my class.” He sits back in his chair, crossing his arms in front him and tapping his thick bicep with one finger, a silent expression of his frustration at you for wasting his time.

“Can I do anything for extra credit?” You ask, about ready to get on your knees and beg.

He almost laughs. “No amount of extra credit could save your grade.”

“Please, Professor Kennedy! I'll do anything!”

He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly upward while keeping his eyes fixed on you, gaze briefly traveling the length of your figure. He suppresses a hungry growl but you notice the desire within him. Maybe there is hope. “Anything?” He asks softly. He shifts a bit in his chair. Your lower belly starts to tingle with the way he's looking at you.

“Yes,” you reply. Your eyes stay fixed on his. You have an idea what he's thinking and you'll do it for your grade. Hell, you might even enjoy it, given the slick that’s started leaking into your panties as your clit starts throbbing.

His normally cold, neutral face turns to a heated and mischievous smirk. He loosens his tie and curls a finger at you. “Come here,” he purrs, his voice soft yet commanding.

You rise; your legs feel like jelly, but you manage to obey him and walk around his large, oak desk to stand in front of him. He leans back in his desk chair, hands steepled in front of him. His eyes rake down your body, turning you on even further. 

“Take off your clothes,” he commands and watches every move of your body as you comply with his demand. You take your time, giving him a strip tease and sensually removing your garments until you're completely naked in front of him. He unbuckles his leather belt and undoes his black trousers. He gently fondles his hardening cock through his boxers before finally pulling the waistband down and freeing his fat, long dick from its confines. “Get on your knees.”

You knew what you were getting yourself into and yet it still startles you a bit. “What?” You blurt out accidentally out of nervousness and a bit of confusion from the rush of arousal through your body. Of course you know what he wants and by the way your cunt is getting soaked, you want it, too.

“I said get on your fucking knees,” he repeats while lazily stroking his cock. You let a small whimper escape you, shocked at how turned on you're getting from being ordered around like this. You slowly descend onto your knees in front of him, licking your lips as you draw closer to his thick member. 

He looks at you with dark, hungry eyes and combs his fingers through your hair. “Good girl.” He spreads legs in his chair and tugs your head closer to his dick. “Now suck.”

You hungrily drop your jaw open and allow him to shove your mouth onto his cock. He lets out an erotic groan as your lips surround him, precum dripping onto your tongue. 

Wet sounds fill the office as you bob your head up and down on his cock, trying your best to maintain suction while simultaneously swirling your tongue around the leaky tip. He grips both sides of your head, forcing you down even further, his cock head sliding down the back of your throat. You choke and gag a bit but push yourself through to pleasure him. 

“That's a good girl.” He grunts hard. “Choke on my cock like a - ah - good little slut. You want an A, sweetheart? Better - mf - suck this dick like your grade depends on it…oh wait,” he smirks meanly at you and chuckles. “It does,” he adds as he forces your head all the way down, his cock balls deep in your mouth, and cums, firing bursts of hot white jizz into your throat. “That's right. Swallow every drop. Such a good little slut.” He holds your head in place as wave after wave of cum is fired into your waiting mouth.

You swallow his essence and pull your mouth off his dick with a pop. You take a few deep breaths, trying to refill your oxygen supply. You look up at him through half lidded eyes. “Do I get my A now?” You ask, hopeful.

He smirks wickedly at you and chuckles darkly, his black pupils having gobbled all the blue in his irises. “Not yet. That gets you a C. If you want an A, you're going to need to stick around for a little while longer…” he lets his reply linger in the air, giving you time to process. 

You're cunt still throbs with want, you've always been a 4.0 student, and, fuck it, you've gone this far… You nod up at him. “I want an A.”

His smirk widens. “That's what I thought.” He strokes the side of your flushed face. “What a dedicated student. I need time to recharge so why don't you be a good girl and hop up on my desk and touch yourself till I'm ready to fuck you?” He asks, but you know there's only one answer.

You get up off your knees and sit on his desk, the cold, hard wood pressing against your ass as you do so. You make yourself as comfortable as you can be sitting on a hard surface and bend your knees, keeping them spread wide. You start teasing your clit with your fingers while Leon watches attentively. 

Your legs start to twitch and jerk as your pleasure builds and your cunt becomes more and more sensitive. You slide a few digits inside and finger fuck yourself, stroking your g-spot. Your eyes squeeze shut and your lips frm a taut ‘O’ as you approach your climax. You're so lost in your own lewd act, you don't notice Leon getting hard again already; his hand slowly strokes his thick shaft. 

The sloppy, wet sounds of your palm smacking against your pussy while you thrust your fingers inside yourself fill the room with the erotic sounds of sex. You pant and whimper, getting so, so close. Suddenly, Leon grabs your wrist firmly and yanks it away from your trembling cunt. You whine at the loss. 

“Not yet, sweetheart.” He pulls you off the desk, turns you around and bends you over, pressing your chest to the hard wood, now thankfully warmer from the heat of your ass. “Spread those legs for me.” He strokes your back with his hands as he holds you down. You widen your stance, but he kicks your legs even further open as his hands drag down your back and to your ass. "Been wanting to fuck this perfect body of yours all semester."

He rubs the plump cheeks of your backside for a moment before lifting his hand a bit and bringing it back down swiftly, delivering a slap. You let out a yelp, both from the slight sting and from the sharp surge in your own arousal. You can feel slick dripping down your inner thigh already. He rubs your ass cheek again and delivers another slap with just the right amount of sting to draw a moan from you. 

“You like that, don't you, little slut?” He slaps your ass again. “Haven't even fucked you yet and you're already fucking soaked.” Another delicious smack hits your ass and then you feel his dick tip teasing your clit. 

Your pussy drips onto his cock head as it rubs along your folds. “Fuuuuuck,” you cry out, so hungry for him to fuck you, tears slip out from your eyes. “Please…fuck…please…” you begin to beg. 

“What's that, sweetheart? Need something?” He asks sarcastically with a mean chuckle. He continues to torture you by dragging his cock up and down your slit but not pushing inside.

“Please…please fuck me…” you beg, tears of desperation trickling onto his desk. 

“Such a cock hungry, little slut. Okay, sweetheart, hold on.” With that, he lines up with your hole and thrusts hard inside you.

“Fuck!” You nearly cum from one thrust of his fat dick. You rock your hips backwards in time with his, taking him as deep inside your pussy as you possibly can. 

“Such a tight little cunt. Fucking perfect.” He fucks into you harder and faster, hitting your g-spot in just the right way. “That's it - ng - take my fucking cock.” His hand slides up your back to your shoulder, forcing you down harder against the desk before moving back down and slapping your backside again. Your pussy clamps down as his palm makes contact with your flushed ass cheek. 

He grips your hips hard as he rabbits into your cunt harder and faster. He leans down, pressing his chest against your back. He kisses and bites down on your neck before whispering in your ear, “you get your A when I cum inside this tight little pussy. Do you understand, my good little slut?”

Your walls squeeze his dick even tighter, sucking him inside. “Yes…” you whimper. 

“Good.” He stands back up and reaches a hand around to stroke your clit. “Cum for me, sweetheart. Cream on my cock and I'll fill you up.”

He picks up the speed of his fingers circling your clit. His hips smack against your ass as he pistons into you with reckless abandon. Your breasts rub against his desk with each thrust. 

Finally, you climax hard, your walls collapsing around Leon's cock. He pushes balls deep into you and empties himself, stuffing your eager and hungry pussy full of hot, sticky cum. 

He falls forward, bracing himself on the desk by planting his forearms on either side of you. He nuzzles the back of your head and then whispers, “deal’s a deal, sweetheart. You've got your A.” He runs his hand along your curves, grazing the side of your breast that's exposed on the desk. He plants a surprisingly tender kiss to the back of your neck before pushing himself up and finally pulling his softening cock out of your trembling pussy. 

He straightens his clothes, zipping and buckling his pants. “Better get going, sweetheart. I'm sure you'll want to celebrate your perfect GPA.” He gazes at you with an unreadable expression, decorated with a light smirk. 

You take it as your cue to get the hell out of his office and never speak of this again. You dress quickly, turn, and head for the office door, but not before you feel one more smack to your ass. 

[lucyfloyenworkshop]

Awakening the Dragon : Malleus Draconia Overblot Theme

It's been now one year since Diasomnia Arc, “Ruler of the Abyss“ began...

There so many things, too many topics that I wish to talk and write about. About the tribute to Eyvind Earle's art in the esthetics and ambiance of Briar Valley. About the connections between the Arc narrative and its inspirations. About Night Faeries folk and Silver Owl Knights. About Silver, Malleus, Lilia and all the others characters... For tonight I will write down about Malleus Draconia's Overblot Theme.

When the Diasomnia Arc pre-trailer was released, some notes of Overblot Malleus's theme can be heard. The complet musictrack had been finaly revealed during the first fight against Malleus. Even with the few notes in the pre-trailer, this music really give goosebumps. It is dark, eerie, dangerous and yet graceful and noble.

Diasomnia’s Chapter is an intense turmoil of emotions and, after all that happened in the Main Story so far, I realized that Malleus Overblot's theme not just represent the Arc's climax like it had being the case for the six previous Chapter. Not just only about an epic battle music, but also about a character.

[Beware : the following post content some spoilers for Chapter 7 : Ruler of the Abyss]

Featuring song and music

There is something about Malleus and music.

In his personal data, it's say that his “talent“ is stringed instruments's practice (ref. Twisted Wonderland : Magical Archives and in game data). According to his close relatives, such as Sebek during “Harveston's Kelkkarotu“ event, Malleus appear to be a really talented musician. And yet that aspect of Malleus wasn't fully explored in the Main, Events and Personals Stories. That was just a fun fact about Malleus's hobbies outside school or his daily royal duties.

Then came the performance of Malleus longside Idia and Azul during the Symphorium in the Halloween event Glorious Mascarade : Crimson Flowers and Bell of Salvation.

It's could be logical since Diasomnia Arc and Mascrade's events released their preview trailers around the same time. But nothing could make us suspected how much deep of that aspect of Malleus's character design is important. Not just as for characterization but also a tribute from Sleeping Beauty.

But to go with Chapter 7 and the Overblot's theme, let's return to the Symphorium, during its preparation as presented in Malleus's Mascaquerade Dress Personal Story [link]. Glorious Mascarade's iconic song Let My Wish Resound ( Twst wiki's traduction [link] ), is the gift of Night Raven College's students to the invitation for Night Bell College's Symphonium and its three main singer featuring Azul Ashengrotto, Idia Shroud and of course Malleus Draconia. In Malleus's Personnal Story, the trio are gather in Diasomnia Lounge for practicing. Both Idia and Azul (and even Lilia), are amaze about Malleus's singing skills. Not just because of his tense practicing, even outside his royal education as confirm Lilia to Idia. If Let My Wish Resound had a special signification for Malleus and his character (his desire and fear about connect with the Outside World and meeting other peoples), the fact that such song, and by extension the music, resound deep within Malleus.

In Chapter 7, that particular bond between Malleus and music/song is once again up under the lightspot, and even become an major element of the narrative. Just after he took his Overblot's form and cast [Fea of Maleficent] on everyone, Malleus start to humming a lullaby. The medley is the one of Once upon a Dream, Sleeping Beauty's famous and iconic song. There is many things that need to be discussed about that familiar medley and Malleus's story and personal journey and I will in the futur write a proper and complet review about. For now, we can notice that reference make not only as a tribute to the original animated pictures movie but also to Malleus's paradoxe as a character in that very sequence, and, even if it is more subtle, in the rest of the story. Indeed he is now a Dark Fea Lord, becoming in a way Maleficient just like Riddle with the Queen of Heart or Vil with the Beautiful Queen. And yet there is that lullaby medley, that medley which took after Princess Aurora's song. Malleus is depicted as both Light and Darkness, an impression that can be found in his Overblot theme.

The Choir and the Cello, picturing a story

There is two main musical elements in Overblot Malleus' track. The Choir and the Cello.

If is true that in the previous Overblot’s theme, a kinda choir is used in the medley, but its seems to have for fonction to put some extra more tension in the music like we can see in many soundtrack from cinema or video-game, but in the others Overbolt's theme, the choirs doesn't lead the medley. The instrumental instruments does.

But that was before Vil's Overblot and Mascarade Event’s theme, where the chorus and choir became the main leading of the music. In a kinda latin language with Dies Irea's leitmotif, choir become the medley's core and identity.

In popular culture, the choir is generally used as reference to Medieval Age’s music and its esthetics, real or dreamed . From Historical productions such as in Kingdom of Heaven (a Historical Movie setting during the early years of the Crusades) to Fantasy realms Lord of the Rings’s trilogy, we can tell that kinda of music had a special power to increase emotions and ambiance in a song.

In Overblot Malleus's theme, the choir became an extension of the Dragon-Fea’s power and personality. Giving to his character so much strength and presence, just like with Davy Jones's organ and it make a tribute to Sleeping Beauty’s soundtrack. One of the particularity of this Classic Disney Animation Picture, it's one of the very few movie from Disney's Silver Age, than doesn't have song like we see it in Cinderella or in Alice in Wonderland. As explained by cinema historian, Charles Solomo, in the documentary Picture Perfect: The Making of Sleeping Beauty [link], those kind of “Broadway like song“ doesn't fit to that world made of the gorgeous detailed background designed by Eyvind Earl or the music score inspired by Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty Ballet. Only songs in the movie are Once upon a Dream and choirs. Theses ones can be found in several track in the score. One of them, “Aurora's Return/Maleficent's Evil Spell“, is in my opinion, one of most powerful and representative of that directive for Sleeping Beauty's music. At one point of track a eerie and dark voice can be heard and as its materialize Maleficent's presence when Aurora is hypnotize by the curse.

Those choir segments supporting the narrative and characterizing each protagonists. Just like it's happen with Malleus's Overblot theme !

In Malleus's Overblot theme, alongside the choir, the second main leading instrument is the cello. The using of that particular string instruments in the track make a easter egg to both Malleus’s personal talents as to Diasomnia Dorm's music theme.

Cello, as other stringed instruments, are very often used in movie, video-game or musical composition because of a rich palette of tones and sounds that those musicals instruments can create and so increase emotions. Notes created by cellos are know to be rich and deep, and how depending how it played, it can express joy and light ambiance as epic, nostalgic world, mysteries or tension and terror.

The slight presence electric guitar (recurring in the Overblot music track) give an extra sensation of danger and tension in the medley, but without shadowing the leading of the chorus and the cello. It sound like lightings bolts, and each time the electric guitar is heard it increase choir's powers in the narrative of the medley with attacking notes. Giving the feeling that we are caught into a storm.

Conjuring the Dragon

As we start listening Malleus Overblot's theme, we fall into some dark or gothic fey world, more that Diasomnia Dorm's. Despite the presence of a electric guitar sound, the music had the same feels as Maleficent's themes from Sleeping Beauty. In fact the very first notes are very similars or at least sharing the same tones than some of Maleficent's leitmotif in “Aurora's Return/Maleficent's Evil Spell“ or in her music entrance.

The musictrack is divise in five segments. First, it start with a very aery voice sound, as we can found in mysterious or dark music track and then the storms began, leading by the choir. With the cello and the electric guitar, its give at that moment (and is reinforce in game by the image of Malleus in his Overblot form), that we are facing some kind of powerful Lord or a Dark Dragon. Malleus had a very complex personality and as far we know, at his core, ins't a evil character. But he is a Dragon-Fea and he had dark powers. If someone put in danger the persons he will care about (friends, family...), he will riposte with all his might and once of thoses times where Malleus's powers are show as dangerous and dark because its are beyond mortal understanding and standard, not as evil. It's true that consequences of some Malleus's actions are terrifying because of his non-human nature and can show him as the Dragon, the most dangerous foe of tales and legends, as the storm parts of the Overblot music despict it.

And at the middle of the music track, just between the two storms part, for a brief moment a calm, noble music segment is played. Its the same medley than the rest of the track but the tone is completely different as tone and ambience from what had been previously heard, even if there is still a certain tension in it. In fact Malleus Overblot's theme where there is a such calm. Yes it's true that in Leona Overblot's theme there is a kinda of “pause“ in the music but the same amount of epic tension. It's sound like if the character taking a short break, checking if everyone is is okay before return to battle. In Malleus's if we got same general medley but the music tale an other aspect of that character, of that Dragon, at the opposite of the Dark Dragon previously depicted. In that segment, the cello leading the music instead of the choir which became calm like lamentation, giving a powerful, melancholic and noble ambiance to the music before the storm restart and end once again on the eerie voice and notes.

That melancholic noble music caught in the storm show all the balance between light and dark that Malleus carries with him during his personal journey. Give him an aura of nobility and danger as we can found it in the Malzeno's theme or Elder Dragons ( Amatsu, Alatreon or Shagaru Magala) from Monster Hunter for exemple.

Right at the beginning and at the end of the track we got some slight but clear notes of piano. Like cello, that chordophone instrument (musical instrument that use both stringed and percussion (ref, Britanica)), can create intense and emotional ambience. It's true that I wished to heard some organ note in that music track, which could fit to the medieval gothic leitmotif of Diasmonia Dorm but I think it would change the characterization of Malleus in the music track. Organs are, in popular cultures and soundtracks very very bond to the figure of the Evil Lords such as Ganondorf in Ocarina of Time or Dracula in his many adaptations from movies to video-games or it played by shady antagonists like Davy Jones or Erik, the Phantom of the Opera. Even there it's cannon that Malleus know to play organs (Endless Halloween event), it's a piano. To listen those cold and sad notes, featuring a eerie voice, as opening and ending of Malleus Overblot's music theme, give us the ton of the music but also of the character it depicts. In plus to reinforce the feeling of melancholy, its contrast with the storms that reign in most of the track. Like the calm noble leitmotif, the piano show the “softer“, tragic and lonely side of Malleus beyond his dangerous and scaring first apparence and nature as a Dragon and a Dark Fea.

As I was writing that post, I discover that during the battle between the Knight of Dawn and Maleonora, Malleus's Mother, the Overblot can be heard and that discovery make more deeper to Malleus. Making it more personal to Malleus than it's already etablished in the music itself. Far more than I originally suspected.

During the last showdown between the Knight and Maleonora ant their tragic ending, the use of the Overblot's theme don't make that scene feels like one of Maleficient in the original picture or only reflecting the way the Humans sees Maleonora. As a dark witch, a monster.

The Overblot's theme show her as royal princess, a Crown-Heir and a mother that will do everything in her power to protect her people, the persons she love and her child. Between him and his mother there is big similarities, and not just physical. Malleus had indeed inherited some of Maleonora's traits, but in his heart and his general personality, Malleus is more close to his father Lord Revan, as it's confirmed by Lilia.

"Just like his father, he is a kind person who ins't able to be ruthless“ "(Episode 7 Ruler of the Abbys Part 6, chapter 99)

At the end, that Overblot's theme not just a dungeon's final boss theme or a musical representation of the Arc's aesthetic.

Even more than Diasomnia bgm, this is Malleus Draconia's Theme. Not just his Overblot. His theme, as character, like we discover in both Diasomnia's trailer and Twisted Wonderland's Story. That music score give us more clues about who Malleus really is.

That music can be seen as the refection of Malleus's complex personality. Noble and benevolent, fierce and powerful ..

Both the Greatest Foe than the Devoted Protector.

Thank you for reading this review/analysis about Malleus. I hope you enjoyed it :-)

Lucy Floyen

Musictrack link : [Twisted Wonderland BGM - Overblot Malleus] (Soundcloud)

[moxiebustion]

Anakin Skywalker was a great Jedi.

He was not a good Jedi. Not even remotely.

Same thing you say? No, not really.

It's a bit like the difference between being rich and being wealthy. They sound like they're the same thing, involving the same quantifier (money) but they're not.

Rich is when you have enough. Your job pays well, you own a nice house, a couple of cars, you and your family can save a nest egg and go on some nice holidays and stuff. Your kids have their college tuition paid, you can afford to support an elderly or disabled family member relatively well. Life is good.

But you still have to work. Your partner still has to work. Your kids, while they will be very well educated and have all the advantages, will still need to get a job to survive on their own. You make your money by the sweat of your labours - maybe more than you need, but it's still down to the work of your hands.

Wealthy? Wealthy is where you own such an enormous portfolio of properties, have such a collection of heirloom artefacts, have so many bloated trust funds that you could spend every single one of your living days do nothing and you'd still have enough money to live on and then some. So would your children. And your grandchildren.

The surgeon making six figures a year is rich. They guy that has the entire wing of the hospital the surgeon works in named after him is wealthy.

Which brings us back to Great Jedi versus Good Jedi. They sound the same, with the same quantifier (Jedi), but they're not.

Anakin Skywalker was a Great Jedi in the sense that his deeds would get written about in history books. Helped win a planet's freedom at nine. Mastered a saber at nineteen, in half the time any of his peers took. Apprenticed to the Order's premier negotiator. Was knighted after one-on-one combat with a Sith. Pilot, Warrior, Hero Without Fear - he talked the talk, he walked the walk. He was everything people thought a Jedi should be and was therefore a Great Jedi in the eyes on minds of the galaxy.

He was a complete failure at being a Good Jedi.

The smallest, weakest and most fumble fingered member of the creche was a better Good Jedi than he could even dream of being. The Archivist who had never passed a single saber test ever given to her was a better Good Jedi than him and all his prowess. The elderly old farmer who had spent their entire lives up to their neck in dirt and hadn't been involved in a single galactically vital peace treaty was a better Good Jedi than Anakin Skywalker could even begin to comprehend.

They all wanted it.

They wanted it.

They wanted to be Jedi.

That's not to say they never wanted other things; marriage, or children, or life outside of service. People want things. Even Jedi want things.

But they never wanted anything in the galaxy more than they wanted to be a Jedi. Being a Jedi was the one thing they were willing to give up everything else for. They understood that it was a big commitment, that it would ask a lot of them, and they looked at that choice with their eyes wide open, fully trained and educated onto what it would entail and said yes, this is what I want to be.

(And that's not unhealthy! That's not "repression". Is a priest or a nun repressed? Is an asexual or aromantic repressed? Is anyone who ever got a dream job that took them away from home, kin and country repressed, wrongheaded, brainwashed? Or have they looked at their options, have they been fully informed and educated on what the life they choose will mean for them and everyone around them and decided yes, this lifestyle, which is not like everyone else's, which may even separate me irrevocable from the mainstream, suits me. I don't need or want the rest of it as much as this. This is what I want).

Anakin Skywalker wanted to be a Jedi.

But he didn't want to be a Jedi more than he wanted anything else.

He could swing a lightsaber, he could quote esoteric tenets and philosophies, he could pilot a ship, he could perform a variety of Force techniques, he could more than hold his own in a fight.

None of these make a person a Good Jedi.

You have to want it. You have to want to be a Jedi, above all other things. The talent might make you Great but it's the wanting, the choice, that makes you Good. You have to look at it, all of it, clear eyed, and decide you want it.

And he... didn't.

He just lied and said he did. At first to himself.

And then, knowingly and willfully, to everyone else.

Until he wasn't even a Great Jedi anymore. He wasn't a Jedi at all.

And he still didn't get anything else he wanted either.

[breeding-puppie]

hi ok so. uh let me sum up quickly. Call me S, im f19, i was born female but have an intersex condition causing excess Androgen's and Testosterone and the older i get the more infertile i get. most people with my condition cant have kids after 25. I am STEM major in college in my second year and dont want to drop out but i have the worlds biggest breeding kink and especially a forced breeding kink/cnc/rape/etc. My boyfriend is long distance and ftm and im a virgin.

I want a baby so unbearably badly and im getting more and more horny about it and my kinks are getting more and more focused on someone breeding me and it not being my fault because i just want someone else to make the decision to get me pregnant so i can have a baby now before i cant. My mom (who i live with as i do college) is always talking about how she wants grandkids and would watch my baby if i got pregnant.....

what do i do? im getting progressively more and more horny every day and im growing desperate.......

There's a lot of things to consider because of the situation as a whole. You're in college which is an incredibly demanding task as it is, being pregnant and then having a baby on top of that is going to make it mentally and physically more difficult to focus and complete your classes. If your mom is open to helping with caretaking that's wonderful, but you're still one of the parents and therefore need to make sure you have ample time to care for the baby as well, for a lot of different reasons from bonding to developmental and beyond. If you're in a long term relationship and want to stay with your boyfriend, this is a huge thing to discuss and there's a laundry list of things to begin with. There's also financial situations, childcare situations if/when your mom can't assist, healthcare situations, custody if another person is involved and that's your route, sperm donor research if that's your route, pre-screening for health issues before pregnancy, living situations, etc.

Breeding kinks are so much fun, they're fun to indulge in, but the reality behind them is you're not just doing it for a kink. You're creating another life that will have to navigate through the world like the rest of us and if you want to do so, you need to make sure you have every t crossed and i dotted to give them the best life you can.

Time is obviously a huge factor but what are the alternative options? Can you freeze your eggs at all? What are the recent advancements in medicine? If you're interested more in the pregnancy side of things, is surrogacy an option instead?

Don't rush into things because you're horny, find a safe outlet for your needs and make logical decisions. The smart decision is to keep everyone involved in the decision making process who you want involved in the raising process. Also do research on costs right now. The average cost of daycare in my area is $4000 a month. Imagine how much you'll spend on diapers, clothes, doctors visits, formula if you don't breastfeed, baby food when they're eating solids, etc.

The best advice I can give you is do extensive research first. You're limited on time but you need to be fully educated on the matter before you even begin to make decisions.

[meso-mijali]

USAmericans and Cheap University

Hello fellow Americans, I'm here to talk about college. In 2024 I graduated at the age of 33 years old with my BS in Business Admin from Western Governors University. I had not heard about this school until my boss (who has a masters from there) told me about it.

In total (thanks to Pell Grants, which the majority of you are probably eligible for) I paid 2400 dollars for my degree, spread out during my time there.

WGU is a fully online, at-your-own-pace, accredited university with four schools:

Business

Technology

Education

Health and Nursing

Each of these has degrees under it, like accounting, education administration, data analytics and more.

I transferred in with an associates degree, of which they took 30 credits, and completed my BS in 1 year and 2 months while working full time. If you were unemployed or part time, you could finish much sooner than me. And since it's a flat rate per 6 month term, you can take as many courses as you can finish in that period of time. Some people who are unemployed finish in 6 months, with no transfer credits at all.

I mention this as an option because if I had known about this when I was still trapped in retail, I would have done it in a heart beat and gotten out WAY sooner.

If you think you want to go to school, or go back to school, to get a certificate, bachelors or masters, please consider them. There are alternatives to crippling education debt!

[narizaki]

charm   japan's finest vb players + toru

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tobio kageyama is a first-year student majoring in kinesiology at the university of tokyo. he chose to attend college to ensure he'd have something to fall into in case something went wrong during his professional league. regardless, he fully intends to join a team the second he graduates college. he's currently trying to not die in his general education classes.

kiyoomi sakusa is a second-year college student at the university of tokyo. a biology major, which he picked for the same reason as tobio. kiyoomi chose to live with him after dorming with a random person during his first year, which led to him deciding that he'd rather die than live with a stranger. although he's not close with tobio, he definitely prefers living with someone he's familiar with. he also plays on the university's volleyball team as a starting outside hitter. tetsuro kuroo is a third-year sports marketing major at the university of tokyo. though he doesn't plan on going pro, tetsuro plays on the school's volleyball team as a middle blocker. he's familiar with all of kenmas' roommates except for (name) because he met them in high school, but welcomed them with open arms.

shoyo hinata is an opposite hitter for the msby black jackals. he chose to go professional once he got out of high school, which he was nervous about, seeing as he was the only one on karasuno's volleyball team to immediately go pro. however, he was welcomed by kotaro and atsumu the moment he stepped into the msby gym, and he's grateful to have them as his teammates. kotaro bokuto is an outside hitter for the msby black jackals. he also chose to go straight into the professional league after high school, and he warmly welcomed shoyo when he joined.

toru oikawa is the setter for ca san juan, a volleyball team located in argentina. despite living in a completely different continent, he's been able to keep steady contact with his friends. however, because of the time difference, he's not very active in their group chat. atsumu miya is a setter for the msby black jackals. like the others, he opted to dive into the professional league the second he got out of high school.