#fulfilling life experience

[babydollxxblood]

I feel so incredibly stuck

[ghost-bxrd]

((I caved and maybe-kinda-sorta started a liiiiittle bit on Jujutsu Kaisen and—- wtf do you mean a fifteen year old is totally a-okay with being executed eventually because it serves the greater good????? And everybody is just like “cool,” like it’s totally normal????? WTF??? Like, sir, ARE YOU AWARE YOU ARE LITERAL SUNSHINE INCARNATE———))

[pennumbra]

[uncanny-tranny]

One of the great things about fiber arts (at least to me) is that... you outright own the things you make. It's hard for me to comprehend actually owning something, and that's that. The item you have created doesn't need to come with strings attached (pun intended).

In a world where you are constantly buying things but not owning any of it, truly, it's such an odd experience to actually have ownership of your labour, time, and love like that.

[jazze-bee]

guys i just finished reading handplates and i feel so empty it was so good but also everything hurts. god its worse than when i finished act-to-flirt why are these undertale fan series just ripping my beating heart out and shoving it down my throat i cant take this i seriously cant take this theyre finally happy despite everything guys i seriously cant i

[tea-and-secrets]

would it be ok to ask that this one is posted soon? i could use reassurance about it if thats alright? things are just... really hard.

im trying to come to terms with the fact that im going to be disabled for the rest of my life. i accept that im disabled *now,* but i have a degenerative disease, its not going to just stop being there. its going to keep getting worse slowly over time.

its especially hard because... even now i cant do my favorite hobby, rockhounding, because i cant bend without risking falling, i cant get on the ground to pick things up and/or dig because i wouldnt be able to get up on my own, and i cant navigate most off-road areas where the rocks im interested in are most often found.

i also desperately want to be a geologist. but i wanted more than anything to be doing fieldwork, like going out and taking samples from various areas, making maps of what could be found where based on my samples... that sort of thing. but ill never be able to do it and i have to come to terms with that.

it will get bad enough that i will need a wheelchair at some point in my life too. like, at some point within the next five to ten years.

ill also never be able to pick people up again. my whole life ive prided myself in picking people i love up during hugs, spinning them around, that sort of thing. i especially loved picking up my best friend.

they understand that i cant do that anymore and theyve never expressed sadness over it, but i cant help but think about how delighted theyve always been about me picking them up and spinning or wiggling them during hugs, and how they used to ask multiple times each hangout to be picked up and hugged.

and even if they arent upset about it, *i* am. i want to be able to do what i used to be able to. but i cant. and i never will again.

its just hard, knowing ill never be able to reach my dream career, continue my favorite outdoor hobby, continue giving love to my friends in the ways i like to... theres so much i can no longer do, and so much ill never be able to do again.

its just really hard. i dont want to be this way. but i am and i always will be, and it will get worse even if i do things like meds and physical therapy. those would just delay the collapse of my disease.

im just sad. i dont want to have to come to terms with it. but i have to or else im setting myself up for even more grief.

and its all because my mom wouldnt get me treated when i was injured in my teenage years. that injury going untreated for so long is what caused my degenerative disease to start so early. my mom has it too but she didnt start developing it until her fourties.

and then for years after my injury when talking about my back pain she just kept saying it was because im fat and that it would stop hurting if i lost weight.

which of course sparked the eating disorder i had previously recovered from.

which ive been struggling with now again for years because of that. but i was getting better again.

until now. because my body hurts too bad to get out of bed often enough to eat a healthy amount so im rapidly losing weight and my brain is saying i have to keep going and going.

and, the wheelchair thing... all my friends live and are going to live places with a lot of stairs. and *i* live somewhere with a lot of stairs too. and the doorframes in all these places arent wide enough for a wheelchair, nor are the bathrooms large enough.

its just all so hard to think about. i hate it. i want to get better and heal like a normal person would, not be in pain constantly and get worse like my body is going to.

thank you for listening. sorry for how long this is.

if i could get reassurance in tags or replies that would be really nice. this is all just so hard and i only have a few people i can confide in about it.

<3

[safety-pin-punk]

yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.

[quotelr]

Our goal in life is to carry with us the wisdom of experience, yet treat each new day as its own unique reality, rather than comparing what currently is to what has been in the past. When we compare, we plant expectations that then become self-fulfilling prophesies through the Law of Attraction.

Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace

[ali3nboyfriend]

you're the only good fucking blog on this godforsaken website. would you like me to kill in your name

ngl to you anon this message is making me feel like this

[creepyjirachi]

okay hear me out. i know i love science and i’m very good at chemistry and physics. but what if i became a fucking accountant

[sodrippy]

wrote a big birthday reflection post a la my icon hero saviour bestie ellianpendraegon but decided lets not do all that.

basically, this past yr has sucked major ass. but ive grown SO much as a person, as a friend (as a writer also! which was a huge fuckin surprise!) and ive met so many wonderful new people mutuals friends for whom im so glad.

i love you guys so much and so sincerely, and im so lucky to be here!

<- guy who never imagined life past the mythical far off idealised future of 24 (never imagined life past the realistic future of 17) is still fawkin kickin baby! yay!

[random-xpressions]

Sometimes you must sit on the floor, just to humble yourself...

Random Xpressions

[sadtimesnorhymes]

I hope no one ever has to feel the feeling of longing for something for 15+ years. To crave a type of love for 15+ years and be denied it at every turn. To put yourself out there time and time again only to be rejected and told you’re not good enough. To be made to feel wrong for existing. For being told that you have no place in a scene because of your body. To be made to feel inferior because you don’t meet the cookie cutter. To have the constant feeling of rejection and disillusionment crush your soul day after day for over 15 years. To take the desperate scraps of what you are given and say thank you for tolerating my disgusting body enough. To be made to apologize for being yourself and it not being good enough.

[unopenablebox]

ok yeah now that im not mad anymore i should probably clarify that i don't actually hold the position that people who have emotional identification issues or emotional regulation issues are like. just intrinsically worse than me. especially now that we are all adults who can be friends with the power to leave situations if someone is having a hard time communicating

i am actually just really annoyed at various family members and teachers ive had in the past who had cultivated None of the skills in that post & decided it was fine to pursue lives where they exposed children to their random punitive yelling anyway, such that now i am terrified by any expression of anger towards me more intense than a completely neutral and pleasant verbal statement that someone is upset about something.

[autos-ismos]

i keep anxiously swallowing air and hurting my stomach

[todayinmagicalgirlhistory]

hii, i saw you post on floral demons and tried to research further but found it hard to get anything thats not fandom/video game related... do you have any good sources i could look at? maybe on connecting with them, the different types of floral demons, etc- floral demons seem pretty good for what im looking for in a spirit companion, but id like to look into it more before i just jump into it. absolutely no pressure ofc, but id really appreciate it!!

Floral demons are a species I organically ran into in the astral so the only resources I have for you is the post I made. I only used that gif from Hell's Paradise because the Tensen had a similar vibe to those spirits. I only ever add any additional resources like mythology and shows/books when they are available here in the physical like in my selkies, kitsune and banshee posts.

Sorry OTL that's why I put the disclaimer at the beginning of the floral demon post that said "Unlike my previous posts, this is all based on my own UPG and not a post that’s divided into known lore surrounding the species and then my personal experience working with them."

If you're newer to spirit work and companionship, I suggest starting with dandelion and daisy demons and I think crocus demons as well, but I really lean towards dandelion and daisy demons. They're very chill and don't have as much of a negative reputation as the floral demons that garnered their negative reputation to start with. I would put clover demons under this category as well.

Cherry blossom demons are also good but I will also say that they can be a bit private so they can be a bit hard to run into. I only met some cherry blossom demons after a crocus demon friend I made introduced me to some.

Rose demons are a bit in the middle - you'll find it hard running into black rose demons organically, I have only ever met 3 (and that's because of their social status as being more delegated to body guards and such) so giving the heads up there as well!

Again like I said in my info post, I would stay completely clear of lotuses, camellias and irises until you're very experienced with interacting with floral demons and used to their energy.

And if you go to areas with a high populaion of floral demons, I would stay in public locations. Think the library (really beautiful btw) or the schools, which are open to the public for tours.

I hope this additional info can help you out, anon!