#anyway fuck capitalism and adopt a craft if you can

[uncanny-tranny]

One of the great things about fiber arts (at least to me) is that... you outright own the things you make. It's hard for me to comprehend actually owning something, and that's that. The item you have created doesn't need to come with strings attached (pun intended).

In a world where you are constantly buying things but not owning any of it, truly, it's such an odd experience to actually have ownership of your labour, time, and love like that.

[maisstories]

I Need Your Help

To be more precise, my girlfriend needs your help. The reason I am the one writing this text is because right now she is so depressed and discouraged that she doesn’t have the strength to believe asking for help would make a difference, and that… that terrifies me.

For those who don’t know us, I am Mai, and my girlfriend is Kari. Under different circumstances, we should have our lives all nicely sorted out, but as we are all aware, we live in the kind of dystopian world society at large likes to pretend only happens in fiction. Especially Kari. You see, I’m from Spain, and Kari is from the US. This means an entire ocean separates us (otherwise I would’ve bundled her up and brought her home, believe me).

Kari is a poor wlw who lives in a very conservative area (as in, Bible Belt conservative). She has ADHD, which went untreated most of her life, hampering her at every turn. First, because she grew up in a very conservative Catholic family and most Catholic families just Don’t Believe in Those Things. Now… well, now because she has no medical insurance and can’t afford to pay for medication. Cute, isn’t it? And that’s not even the best part. Kari has depression, that I mentioned, but this whole situation, and the hopelessness it causes her, has brought forth suicidal ideation. I don’t have the words to express just how scared I am by this. It paralyzes me. There is nothing, physically nothing I can do if they ever get the better of her.

To add to this, it has been made abundantly clear to Kari that her parents won’t help her if she becomes homeless. They didn’t want a child to begin with. A gay child? Yeah, no, forget about it.

(On a bit of a bright note, Kari has two adopted cats, which are the cutest fur balls over. They’re her closest emotional support most days, and I am very grateful for them. I can’t cuddle her or be physically there for her at all, but I can at least ask her to go cuddle them. They’re not even on the particularly scratchy side for cats).

Currently, Kari has a job, but despite taking on as many extra hours as possible, she cannot make enough money for rent. In fact, she cannot make many other basic necessities, which I will list here because they’re important, I am worried sick, and we really do need help:

-Work: Kari lost her previous job for one of those completely absurd, US-only reasons back in late October. I say absurd because any company trying to pull that shit here in Spain, and most likely anywhere in the European Union, would’ve been fined out of business. But hey, Country of Freedom and all that, isn’t it? She finally found a new job mid-November. Lower pay, though, which means it doesn’t help her cover full rent.

-Rent: As many people in the US will know, and others not from the US will have heard, rent outside of isolated areas is ridiculously expensive, especially for such a large and unpopulated country. The Wonders of Capitalism. As such, Kari is forced to pay a truly monstrous amount of money for a minuscule space to live in, one that ate up most of her previous salary and that surpasses her current one.

-Bills: Let’s not forget these. She rations. As much as she can. Electricity, water, internet… she goes for cheapest and least use, so far as to monitor her use of water during showers, but this still adds to her expenses.

-Food: Now’s where things get to a truly awful degree. When she moved to the place she lives in now (and if anyone wants the story that led to this move, please ask, because that’s an entirely other level of fucked up), she had to apply for food stamps, because she had barely no money left to feed herself and her two adopted cats after all the mandatory expenses. Food stamps people don’t look at the money you have left after bills, they just look at your income, so she was allotted $16. Useful, right? Anyway, fast forward to late October: Kari loses her job, so, obviously, one of the first things she does is contact the food stamps people to update her situation and have her allotment reevaluated. No response. Contact again. No response. This keeps going on. Mid-November, she gets a new job (still no response from the food stamps people despite the many attempts to contact them). Last Friday, her food supplies consisted of a bit of chicken, two fish fillets, and a couple eggs. I do not kid you. Today, the food stamp people finally answered her call: they won’t look into her case until, at least, December.

That’s it for the basics. As you see, it’s a wonderful situation.

Now, my role in this, as I’m sure some of you are wondering.

Let me start by saying this: I am a heavily disabled woman (nearly blind) living in an isolated area with the worst public transport system this side of the Mediterranean Sea. I am incapable of even getting out of home without assistance and someone to drive me at the moment. This means, having a job where I currently live is out of the question (I’m working on getting a job somewhere else where I’ll be able to live on my own. Sort of). My only source of income right now is my Patreon account, the earnings of which go fully to Kari because my girlfriend’s wellbeing matters to me much more than anything I could ever need for myself. I may say whatever I want about my parents’ belief that my relationship isn’t real because they don’t believe you can forge real connections through the internet (or the fact they want me to have a BOYfriend because they want grandchildren), but at least they’re so terrified I’ll break the moment I step outside on my own that they take good care of me.

Still, unfortunately, I’m only a writer, and a writer’s Patreon doesn’t make enough money to cover for such serious issues.

But Kari is the most important person in my life. I’m not exaggerating. I never thought I’d fall in love. I’ve always been the weird one out, the blind kid teachers coddled too much out of pity so other kids disliked and picked on, the one who was so odd that didn’t even fit with the weird kids in school. That happened everywhere, anywhere I went. Even in some fandom groups. It came to the point I stopped trying. It came to the point I thought once my parents died I wouldn’t have anyone. I’d stopped making plans for the future. There was no future for me.

And then I met Kari. She can make me smile with a silly gif and an obscure quote I thought no one else knew at 3am when I’m on the verge of tears because I feel trapped in my own house; she can get me excited about doing a joint cosplay in the distant future when I’d given up on cosplay years ago because I had no one who wanted to go to cons with me; she listens to my stupid history rants and even shows interest in them, when the most I’m used to getting are eye rolls and a change of topic.

Kari is the best that’s happened to me. Ever. And I want her to be happy. I want her to not have to worry about rent; I want her to be able to buy herself a chocolate bar because she feels like it without having to feel guilty for wasting the money. I want her to be able to live without the fear of being evicted every month, without having to worry about tomorrow’s meals because she ran out of food stamps and the fridge has only a can of soup left for the weekend. I want her to be able to go to the doctor when she’s sick and buy the medication she needs to get better.

But I don’t have the power to do this. Not now, not yet. So I’m asking you, everyone out there, to please help us. Help her.

And, I’m afraid, November is an awful month for Kari. Due to the late date at which she found her new job, she is missing a large chunk of rent. I’m doing everything in my power to gather money, and I ask —no, beg— you to help. Donate something, anything. Even if it is small, many small donations can make a difference.

Originally, we wanted to do a GoFundMe page with a three-month goal of 975 dollars to cover that period’s expenses (yes, guys, we’re missing about 500 this month. It’s that horrible), but every single crowdfunding website we have found works through bank accounts. Banks in the US are sharks; they tax you for not having enough income, for not having enough activity… Basically, if you’re poor in the US, you have to pay to have a bank account that will never have any money in it because the bank will eat it up. So, until we find an alternate crowdfunding site that allows to collect through paypal, we have set us several other safe forms through which you guys can donate to help Kari.

Paypal.Me: https://paypal.me/findyourwaycrafts

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/findyourway

Kari has a crafts store, because she is a fantastic artist (and you should totally check it out), with much stuff already on it and other stuff planned to come:

Store: https://findyourway.storenvy.com/

Store Tumblr: https://findyourwaycrafts.tumblr.com/

However, these things take time to take off, and we are running out of time in November. So please, please, help us cover the remainder of Kari’s rent for this month. Even if it’s just a dollar, three, five, a purchase of a necklace. Anything. Please, help us. Help Kari keep a roof over her head this Winter.

[heartslogos]

the declassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [91]

(919): This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs

-

(469):I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.

-

“Are you sure?”

“That I know everything about farting dogs? Hell yeah I’m sure,” Sera says, looking strangely offended. “You think I’d lie about that? The only reasons someone says they know everything about farting dogs is because it’s true. That’s a stupid thing to lie about. If I was gonna lie something about my general knowledge I’d lie about — knowing everything about the stock market. Which is like. No one knows everything about the stock market.” Sera points a finger at Dorian. “Before you say anything, no one. Know. Everything. About. The. Stock. Market. Period. And anyone who says they do is lying out of their unwashed asshole.”

“You, as always, paint the most color picture. Have you considered writing copy?”

“I didn’t mean that you didn’t know everything about farting dogs,” Malika says before Sera and Dorian can get into the woes of advertising, “I mean are you sure that’s the most redneck thing you’ve ever said?”

Sera falters. “I mean. I don’t think I’ve ever said anything more redneck than that. It’s not possible.”

“Are you sure?” Malika presses. “Like, really sure?”

“Also, how are you saying you’re redneck? Weren’t you raised in the inner city? You went to private school.”

“I was kicked out of private school, Pavus. Because I wasn’t posh enough. And I was adopted into the inner city but like — it’s different. I wasn’t born to it and I pretty much fucked off back to my roots as soon as I could get away.” Sera rolls her eyes. “Besides, you gonna tell me that the entire country of Ferelden doesn’t count as country?”

Dorian opens his mouth to argue and then closes it. “Alright. You have me there. Even Denerim is more suburb than urban. I still can’t believe that their capital city doesn’t even have a railway. And only four bus lines.”

“It does, but it’s a railway that goes to the other side of the country with like, five stops.”

“A point to Denerim’s favor is that they mostly ride bikes and walk everywhere.”

“Because everything worth doing is in walking distance? Yes. Right. Top marks for having things to do. I can knock out touring Denerim in one day, maybe two if I go very slowly.”

“Guys, we’re not here to rag on Ferelden.”

Sera and Dorian pointedly close their mouths but Malika can see them having some kind of mental exchange.

“Anyway Sera, are you sure that’s the most counter thing you’ve ever said? Because sometimes you and Cullen go off and it’s like…really entertaining. Also kind of eerie because sometimes I forget you both are Ferelden stock.”

“Rutherford is way more country than I am. He’s from a hand to god farm.” Sera hesitates. “Shit. Do you remember me saying something more country than knowing everything about dog farts?”

“Not off the top of my head, but if your ceiling or red neck country is knowing everything about dog farts I’m pretty sure that…like. You’ve passed your own limit.”

“Well shit. Alright, fine. I still know everything about dog farts. But maybe it’s not the most red neck country shit I’ve ever said or will say. I guess I’ve got to leave that option open from now on. Fuck. I’m kind of scared to know what my peak is now.” Sera grabs her phone. “I’m gonna ask Rutherford if he thinks he’s peaked. Or what the most country thing he’s ever said is. If I haven’t beat that I’m fine.”

-

“Kaaras. Are you sure Kaaras? Our Kaaras? Six foot four, curly horns, hunched shoulders, soft mid-section, slight stammer, Kaaras?” Evelyn repeats dumbly. “That Kaaras? Started a dumpster fire?”

“Based on the picture I got from Malika, it looks like a pretty tame dumpster fire,” Max says, examining something on his phone. “Yeah. Looks fine. Under control and everything.”

Evelyn looks dumbfounded. “Wait, are you sure it’s our Kaaras though? I can’t — a dumpster fire?”

“A small one.”

“I don’t care how big or small it was. I care that it’s a dumpster fire. I can’t comprehend it.”

“Facts don’t require comprehension from you, Lyn,” Max replies. “I’m so proud of him. All grown up and setting fires. Herah and I have to take him out to celebrate.”

“Arson isn’t something you celebrate.”

“Delinquency is something we do,” Max points out. “Controlled delinquency, of course.”

“You’re just making terms up now,” Evelyn groans. “Why were they starting fires?”

“Presumably to burn stuff,” Max says. “Or stay warm.”

“You don’t even know the context behind it do you? You didn’t even think to ask?”

“Evelyn, why would I ask? You think I ask everyone about the context of everything they tell me? Don’t be ridiculous. It’d be a non-stop series of automated ok but why. I don’t have the time or brain capacity for that. It’s best to just — accept things as is, you know? The why will eventually come to light when necessary on its own terms.”

“Max, that’s a very, very lax way of going about things.”

“And you’ll notice I’m not stressed about anything.”

“Yes you are, you just live your life in constant repression,” Evelyn replies. “It’s not any healthier than having the stress out in the open for everyone to see.”

“Ah, but no one can see it and therefore no one can bother me about it,” Max grins, giving his cousin a cheeky finger gun. “And one day all the stress will give me more internal bleeding than normal and I will die. But that’s a problem for future Maxwell. Current Maxwell is just going to enjoy his friends sending him cool pictures and developing into fire setting adults.”

“Max, you worry me.”

“Chill, cousin. Alright, and look — it was a practice fire! For later.”

“What do you mean for later.”

“I mean for later. I guess they’re burning something bigger tonight.”

Evelyn reaches for her phone even as Max is texting away on his, looking quite cheerful.

“I’m glad they’re taking their jobs seriously,” he says. “Practicing an entire day before hand. That’s dedication to the craft. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.”

[metalandmagi]

December End of the Year Media Madness!

It’s a new month and a new year! And what a crazy month it was what with Tumblr imploding and all. But I’ll still throw this on here just because I’ll be on this site until it literally boots me out. But I do have a twitter now…@metalandmagi where I’m also barely active at all.

Anyway, why make top 10 lists for the entire year when I can just ramble about all the media I consumed this month? There’s only a marginal amount of holiday things on here by my standards!

November media

Movies!

Give me some credit there’s only four Christmas movies on here.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?: A documentary about Mr. Rogers starting with the birth of the television show to his death. This is the fluffiest most heartwarming thing I could have possibly picked to watch on Christmas, and I encourage everyone, even people who hate documentaries and/or never grew up with Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, to watch it. There’s a lot of important messages about acceptance, dealing with tragedy, and mental health that people can learn from and feel good about. Not to mention how he completely revolutionized children’s television. So yeah, he was awesome.10/10

Spider-man Into the Spider-verse: When a rip between dimensions is opened, a bunch of different spider themed superheroes from every comic fan’s wet dreams all get together to close it. Guys I’m not that big of a Spider-man fan, but dang this movie was a ton of fun. I came for the amazing visual effects and stayed for the amazing...everything else. The music, the performances, and the story were all top notch. Also I now have a new favorite Nick Cage role. If you thought the trailer made the animation look interesting, it was just the tip of the iceberg because it is the most visually interesting movie I’ve seen in the last three years. I strongly suggest any fan of animation...or even any fan of great stories and movies in general go see it even if you’re not that big on Spider-Man. Now I’m demanding a Spider-verse Aunt May movie because I have so many questions! And the post credits scene was the best out of any Marvel movie. Period. 10,000/10

The Wiz (2015 musical): I should start making a section for musicals or plays instead of just lumping it in with the movies. It’s the Wizard of Oz...but cool. I’ve never seen any iteration of The Wiz and it seems like I’m constantly hearing about it. So I watched the 2015 version of the 1975 Broadway musical that NBC aired. And yeah it’s good. There were some great performances. But I wasn’t very impressed with the songs themselves, and it’s not really the same without a dog along for the ride, but whatever. 7.5/10

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle: The surprisingly fun reboot/sequel thing of Jumanji where four teenagers get stuck in a video game that follows every “stuck in a video game” trope you can imagine but actually does it well. It’s a sweet, funny romp through the jungle with some great comedic performances. I really don’t have much to say about it except that this movie is better than it has any right to be. 8/10

The Christmas Chronicles: Two children stow away on Kurt Russell’s, I mean Santa’s sleigh and go on a dangerous, balls to the wall adventure throughout Chicago trying to save Christmas or something. After everyone started talking about how crazy this Netflix movie is I had to watch it to verify if it is indeed as wild as they said. And yes...yes it is. It is so laughably ridiculous and questionable that it’s impossible to actually hate. The elves are some unholy mixture of minions and gremlins, one of the children is a literal felon that no one is concerned about, and Kurt Russell is super into the role but has some sort of thing about fat-shaming Santa. I just...have so many questions! But it was certainly a trip, so I’d have to recommend it just so you too can witness the insanity. -10 “savvy, straight-talking St. Nicks”/10

Arthur Christmas: No, it’s not a Christmas special related to the aardvark cartoon! This is the 2011 animated movie that no one remembers exists. Santa’s clumsy but enthusiastic son Arthur must deliver a forgotten present in less than two hours while the rest of his family deals with some Arrested Development style family drama. This is by far the most underrated Christmas movie of all time; even I didn’t realize it was actually good until I watched it for the first time in 2016! The fun road-trip style plot and the entertaining characters were victims of bad marketing. Arthur is hilariously endearing, and there was so much heart and effort put into it that I can find new things to notice every time I watch it. Not to mention the amazingly animated opening spy sequence! And also Mrs. Claus is secretly a total badass and Bryony the elf is the coolest female character in a Christmas movie ever. The movie’s message of old vs new is nothing we haven’t seen before, but I really don’t care because at the heart of it all, it’s about making people happy on Christmas. If you’re like me and just assumed this movie would suck...or didn’t know it exists, please give it a chance. It’s not perfect, but it’s worth seeing. 9/10

Neo Yokio Pink Christmas: Yes, it’s the Christmas special for Neo Yokio. No I cannot accurately describe it with mere words. There’s a rich bachelor gift exchange, demon possession, and pompous French aunts slinging insults at each other. It is unironically my favorite holiday episode of a show ever, and to me it’s the best Christmas special ever made. I thought I was prepared for the absolute bat-shit ride I would go on, but no...I wasn’t even close. At this point I don’t know if it’s written like this on purpose or if some divine twist of fate made the executives believe this is truly brilliant television. Either way, it is a masterpiece in its own right. There’s even a somewhat intriguing plot and a message about gift giving and capitalism under all the crazy! If you haven’t jumped down the rabbit hole yet, I implore you to watch the insanity that is Neo Yokio and follow it up with Pink Christmas because it will truly make your holiday season. 100,000 demon DNA drugs out of 100,000!

Die Hard: Nothing says Christmas like terrorists taking over a skyscraper and Bruce Willis having to take them all down by himself. Yeah...so I’ve never seen Die Hard before, but this is one of those movies that is so famous that I felt like I’d already absorbed everything important through cultural osmosis. And even though it’s pretty good, I would have liked it better if I didn’t know what was going to happen. My only real complaint is that I think it goes on way too long. More than anything it just made me sad to remember that Alan Rickman is gone. And it bothers me so much that John McClane goes through this building that’s under construction WITHOUT SHOES! 8/10

Books!

The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis: The 4th/6th book in the Chronicles of Narnia, in which Eustace Scrubb and his classmate Jill Pole go to the underworld to find King Caspian’s long lost son. Even though my children- the Pevensies aren’t in it, I actually think this book is my favorite of the series so far. Jill and Eustace are both sassy enough to play off each other, Puddleglum absolutely hilarious, and the book actually has a clear cut plot! It reads much more like a Greek myth than a children’s fairy tale since there aren’t nearly as many of Lewis’s trademark author interjections, and you know...it’s a literal journey to the underworld. And can I just say that it’s super refreshing to have an author write two main characters WITH ZERO ROMANTIC INTENTIONS! Especially since they’re freaking children! Now I just wish Disney had continued the movies even more! 9/10

Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare: I’m going to do this with only minor spoilers. It’s the final book in The Dark Artifices trilogy. Will Emma and Julian break the parabatai bond? Will the reflection of the modern day American government- I mean the Cohort/ the Clave fuck up the relationships between Shadowhunters and Downworlders forever? You’ll have to suffer like the rest of us to find out! In my opinion, 99% of this book is amazing, but in the last 50 pages there are some...bullshit ways of solving problems. Like everything that went down with the Cohort in Idris. Not to mention we’ve been so invested in the parabatai curse and how Julian and Emma’s bond would go down and...let’s just say the resolution was way too easy. And if you thought Clare’s other finales were jam packed, you ain't seen nothin’ yet. My copy is 880 pages and there was still more stuff that I wanted to happen...like any sort of scene between Dru and Ash...or an ending between Kit and Ty that doesn’t make me want to cry (the Wicked Powers is going to be brutal). But the rest of that 99% is mind-blowing! There’s so much good I can say that it mostly outranks anything I didn’t like...I mean we finally got a Malec wedding and a proper polyamorous relationship for the Angel’s sake! It may be my least favorite of her finales by default but it was still a fun ride! 9/10

TV shows!

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018): An elite soldier finds a sword that can transform her into a super buff magical girl who helps princesses take down the forces of evil. It’s a reboot of the 1980s cartoon, and holy crap it’s AMAZING! I have a whole new group of children to adopt, each episode is entertaining in its own way, and there’s so...many...good...ships! And it gives Steven Universe a run for its money with the care that went into making every character a different kind of warrior, which I love because the cast is 99% female. My only real complaint is that I never warmed up to Catra because she wasn’t particularly sympathetic to me from the beginning. But I understand why some people love her. If you love well crafted adventurous character driven cartoons and haven’t watched it yet WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?  10/10

Nailed It Holiday: Yes, my favorite baking show (and by that I mean the only baking show I watch) has a holiday season out on Netflix, in which newbie bakers are tasked with making incredibly professional desserts with a very short time limit. And whoever makes the best treat gets 10,000 dollars. I’ve talked about this show before in my June media madness, and I don’t know what it is but I’m so addicted to it. 10/10

Brooklyn nine-nine (season 5): Come on we all know the cop sitcom. It’s the best sitcom. Just in general it’s the best. Great characters that subvert expectations, great humor, and a lot of heart. I’ve known that this show is supposed to be amazing for years, but I only started watching it a few months ago. And since I couldn’t find season 5 anywhere...I got a Hulu subscription just to watch it before season 6 comes out. That’s how good this show is. 10/10

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2): Our favorite underdog comedian is back, and she’s slowly gaining popularity and doing...stuff. Like going on tour. And hanging out with Zachary Levi. Yes, this season is great, but my problem with this series is that every character aside from Midge and Susie are the fucking worst, especially the parents. Midge’s parents suck, Joel’s parents suck, Midge and Joel are appropriately neglectful parents for the time period...I could go on. And it’s not even in a funny way; like it’s just disgusting to watch these power dynamics. Not to mention how old the comedic bits for the parents get (how many times can we hear about Joel needing to date or Midge needing to get married?!) Yes, I realize that we’re supposed to be annoyed AND YES I realize that this is a product of culture and how society was, but none of the parents have any redeeming qualities. In episode one, we’re led to believe that Midge’s parents will grow and change through the season and they never do! At least there are moments where Joel can kind of be redeeming and expand on his actual character before he reverts back to being an asshole. Anyway, my thoughts are pretty much the same as the first season. It’s funny and interesting to watch, but it can be ridiculously frustrating when you hate almost all the characters!  8/10

Fuller House (season 4): Yes I do watch the ridiculous Netflix reboot of Full House. And yes, it is absolutely terrible! I really really hate it! But will I stop watching it? Let’s just say you can pry this pile of garbage from my cold dead hands. I don’t know if I’d call this a guilty pleasure or a hate watch type of show... it’s certainly not so bad it’s good territory like Neo Yokio...but Full House was pretty much my entire childhood. And yes, the original show is also not great. I loved it as a kid, and it was my first real exposure to a non-traditional family in live action, but yeah it doesn’t age well. What I’m trying to say is...I have no good reason for watching this.

I don’t mean to say that there’s nothing good about it, especially this season. They really back off on the more cringe-worthy catch phrases, Stephanie being aware of how stupid the writing is and constantly pointing it out is actually funny, their Christmas episode was surprisingly genuine, and they impressed me by actually make two female characters try and work through their difficulties instead of pitting them against each other for laughs. It has its moments, just like the original but definitely not enough to make up for the worst of it. Maybe this generation of children will like it the way lots of my generation used to like Full House...but yeah it’s awful, I hate it so much. -1 missing Tanner child out of 3

Voltron Legendary Defender (season 8) SPOILERS: It’s the final season of Netflix’s Voltron, and boy it was...something. I didn’t want to make this a big rant/defense of the show...but I feel like I have to highlight some things because this fandom is a shithole that refuses to see the good in anything.

There is so much good and so much...not good I can say about it, so here’s a couple things. I know this show didn’t go the direction anyone wanted, but that doesn’t make it bad. In addition to the stunning fight scenes and music, the performances this season were just amazing! I literally wanted to cry every other episode even though sometimes I didn’t know why the fuck something was happening. I don’t know how I feel about Honerva’s plan. I understand her motivation, but I was constantly questioning how we got from point A to point B... so yeah the plot and writing could be...weird at times. Also everyone seemed to have super pointy chins this season...

Spoiler alert: Not many of us wanted Lance and Allura to happen, but I truly believe it wasn’t done in a half assed way. At the very least, I appreciate that they had a genuine bond that developed over so many seasons. BECAUSE YES IT DID! Anyone who says they had no development or that it felt forced never paid attention. I wanted it to stay platonic; I wanted Klance to happen, but...I can’t be too mad at the writers because they at least tried. I still believe that Klance was endgame and the creators were forced to change the outcome of the show later on. AND YES LANCE DID GET A CHARACTER ARC! It may not have been the one we wanted to see, but I’m baffled that people think Lance living with his family, surrounded by people he loves-which is what he wanted all along- is not a happy ending. I just wish his relationship with Keith wasn’t pretty much ignored all season. But I believe Allura is his past that taught him to genuinely love and Keith is his future who will make Lance his “first choice”. And I’m not even gonna try to explain how I feel about Shiro and Allura’s endings because everything I feel is so complicated and layered. There is good and there is bad.

TLDR: This show teaches us that we’re stronger together, and I think the “fandom” completely missed the point because they do nothing but tear others down and refuse to look at things from other perspectives. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT LIKE IT, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY OTHER PEOPLE’S ENJOYMENT AND BE A DICK ABOUT IT. It may not have been everything I wanted, but I’m glad I went on this ride. Besides, there are canonically infinite realities so there’s got to be a reality where all your dreams for the show come true. As a season, I’d say it’s a 7.5/10.

Honorable Mentions

I watched Avengers: Infinity War again. And yes it’s still great.

I’m watching Superstore because when another sitcom comes on before The Good Place, why not? Also since I finished season 5 of Brooklyn 99 I had to use my Hulu subscription for something.

Camp Camp has a holiday episode...so naturally I watched it...several times. Please watch Camp Camp.

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged finally ended, and I feel obligated to shout this out because, hey when you put out one episode a year it’s a big accomplishment to finish it!

Super Smash Bros Ultimate is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE WINTER ANIME IS ENDING!!! They were all so amazing! So shout out to Iroduku-The world in colors, Bloom into You, Hinomaru Sumo, Dakaichi, Banana Fish, Jingai no Yomen, Golden Kamuy, Skull-faced Bookseller Honda-san, Tsurune, AND RUN WITH THE WIND even though they’re not finished yet.

[skygemspeaks]

Do you have any book recs? (And/or where you suggest buying books?)

Okay okay, sorry friend, I’ve been busy at a con these past few days so I haven’t had the chance to sit down and answer this. Anyways, before I start, there are a couple of book recs in my Book Recs tag that you can check out, and This Post has some of my favourite lgbt+ books you can check out.

As for where I buy books, sorry I don’t think my answer will be helpful outside of Canada. I usually just by from Chapters/Indigo/Coles (there’s this huge one in Eaton Centre that I frequent so often I’m pretty sure all the staff recognizes me by now lmao). Also, I don’t know think they exist outside of Toronto, but BMV books sells new and used books for super super cheap, so I go there a lot too. I deadass bought a Narnia compilation from them even though I already have one because the cover was gorgeous, and they were selling it for $2.

Anyways, my top three books/series that I absolutely want everyone to read:

Earth Girl, Earth Star, Earth Flight by Janet Edwards- One of my favourite series of all time. Set in a future where humanity has discovered portal technology and has colonies on other planets, the main character Jarra is “Handicapped”. She was one of the minority who were born with an immune system that can not survive on other planets, and so she’s stuck on Earth, along with the rest of the “apes/neans/throwbacks.” A feisty history enthusiast who has a lot of internalized bitterness about the ableism she’s faced throughout her life, she decides to infiltrate a one-year university pre-history course of off-world students that is held on Earth. She crafts a new background for herself, tricking them into accepting her as one of their own so that in the end, she can reveal everything and yell out all her anger. But what is she to do when she actually finds herself genuinely liking her new classmates?

This series has so much diversity (2 supporting gay characters, at least 2 bi/pan characters, several poc main characters, an entire culture where polyamory is the norm), and it really takes a deep look into discrimination and how racism can tear civilization apart. It’s about an oppressed people finally being able to speak out and fight for their rights. It’s about Jarra learning to love herself and come to terms with everything she’s been through, and ultimately finding the family she’s always craved

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera - In this world, Death-Cast calls you at midnight on the day you are going to die. When two boys at the peak of their youth end up receiving the call one night, fate brings them together through the Last Friend app. They’re as different as different can be, but somehow they make it work. In the single day they have together, they form a bond that most people can’t achieve in their entire lives.

Absolutely fucking heartbreaking. I cried so much with this book, especially in the last 50 or so pages. You really learn to love not only the two main characters, Rufus and Matteo, but their friends and loved ones as well. You read through so many different perspectives throughout this book, and they all seem so far removed from each other that it’s fascinating seeing how they all slowly tie in together as the story draws to a close.

A few notes on this one - YES the title is 100% true and they do both die at the end, YES Matteo and Rufus are both lgbt+ (Rufus is bi, but Matteo’s sexuality is never labelled, so he could be gay or he could be bi/pan/demi/etc)

The Novice, The Inquisition, The Battlemage by Taran Matharu - Fletcher is an orphan who finds out he has the ability to summon demons from the Ether. Forced to flee his hometown for a crime he didn’t commit, Fletcher and his demon, Ignatius, eventually end up in his country’s capital of Corcillum. In a country at war with the savage orcs they share their southern border with, every summoner is badly needed on the front lines to keep their country safe. So when Fletcher is discovered by an officer of the king’s army, he is offered a place at Vocans Academy, a school where he will trained to harness his powers and become a battlemage.

Love this series to bits and pieces! The characters are lovely, the relationship between Fletcher and his adoptive father makes my heart go all mushy, and the worldbuilding is rich and vibrant!

And now some other books that are all also super fantastic but I don’t have the time to put summaries and thoughts on them I’m so sorry, but I’ve included the goodreads links!

A Court of Thorns and Roses, A Court of Mist and Fury, A Court of Wings and Ruin, A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J Maas

Airman by Eoin Colfer

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

East by Edith Pattou

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Flame in the Mist by Renée Ahdieh

Princess of Thorns by Stacey Jay

Timekeeper by Tara Sim

The Interrogation of Ashala Wolf

This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Wolf Brother, Spirit Walker, Soul Eater, Outcast, Oath Breaker, Ghost Hunter by Michelle Paver

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

If you had an unlimited budget and a guaranteed yes from every director/actor/actress etc, which TV show, episode, or movie would you like to rewrite and how would you do it?

Ok, so. I’ve been thinking about this ask a lot since I got it. It’s a genuinely difficult question, you know? Most of the movies I know well enough to recast and rewrite are ones that I love very deeply and dearly. But there are a couple of things I’d love to get a crack at redoing, and I’ll tell you both of them.

First: The Ninth Gate

The Ninth Gate is one of my favorite goddamn movies, and it’s almost entirely because it’s so cathartic to yell at. It’s got a weak but enjoyable plot, fun visuals, and a laughably bad attitude towards the proper handling of rare books. I have often enjoyed it in the past, but it’s not good--and it’s rather tainted by the presence of Roman Polanski as director and Johnny Depp as star. Knowing what I now know, this makes it very difficult to enjoy.

Thing is, The Ninth Gate is actually based on a book. And it’s a really good book. It’s by Arturo Pérez-Reverte, it’s called The Club Dumas, and the movie’s whole Satanic book focus is actually the B plot, the side story to an excellently weird mystery about a manuscript of The Three Musketeers.

Frankly, I have no idea who I’d pick to act or direct for most of it. I’m not especially good at thinking of directors, and I have neither read the book nor watched the movie recently enough to have a good grip on most of the characters. However, I do know who I’d pick to play the main character. Lucas Corso is a rare book dealer of vaguely criminal leanings, who is described in the book as being sort of handsome in a scruffy stray-dog way, specifically with an “adopt me” look that’s very attractive to motherly types. I think Riz Ahmed and his big ol’ anime eyes would suit the part very nicely.

Anyway, we’ve also been watching Iron Fist.

Before you start sighing at me: I know. I know. Trust me. I’ve been frustrated with the whole thing at every stage. It has been badly cast, badly written, mostly badly directed, and poorly handled on so many levels that I can’t even count them. But we’ve been watching it anyway, because Iron Fist is genuinely Boy’s favorite character of all time and has been since he was nine, and we had to know.

The first change I’d make is directorial. We’re on episode 6, which was directed by the Rza, and it shows, because unlike the incompetent ass who handled all the other episodes, the Rza knows how to craft visually interesting shots and how to film a good martial arts scene. He’s genuinely a brilliant director, he loves and respects the kung fu movies from which Iron Fist originally arose, and he’s a fan of the comics. He knows how this shit is supposed to work.

The second change is obviously the casting of Danny, because Finn Jones is a problem. Not only should a modern Danny Rand be an actual Chinese-American person, Jones has poor delivery, the wrong kind of attitude and miserably bad body control. He’s a horrendous martial artist. He’d maybe make a decent sparring partner for me, but I only ever got to blue belt, and that was fourteen years ago. I don’t know who I would cast in his place, but that’s because I genuinely want to cast someone unknown--someone of actual Chinese descent would be the first requirement, obviously, but the second requirement would be that he have a background in dance, ideally ballet. Trained martial artists are cool, but ballet dancers have the kind of surreal body control that would be appropriate for a man who was given magic kung fu powers by a dragon.

Some of the other casting choices from the show are actually really solid. Jessica Henwick as Colleen Wing is a delight, for example, and David Wenham as Harold Meachum is satisfyingly wavery as he walks the line between villainy and sympathetic dupe-hood. Joy and Ward Meachum, however, are both mind-numbingly dull, and should be recast as younger than Danny--as they are in the comics--and given a lot more energy.

My third major complaint about the show, though, is that it contains approximately twelve percent of the weird magic kung fu shit that makes Iron Fist comics so good. That is not enough weird magic kung fu shit. Jane Kim, for example, is an excellent choice for Bride of Nine Spiders, but she’s way too sexy for someone who is, in the comics, a zombie in wedding finery being piloted by spiders like some kind of flesh mecha. Also, where the fuck are the other Weapons? They have David Sakurai, who would be an excellent Dog Brother #1, and he’s playing Scythe. Scythe. A glorified mook. Why would you do that when you could have Dog Brother #1? And where the fuck is Fat Cobra?

Basically I’d spend less time on the dull-ass “Danny goes to court” plot that bogs down the first half of the show. It can have two-thirds of the first episode. Apparently we’ve gotta have the Hand, they’re already Up To Shit In New York per Daredevil, so we’ll just get into that right away. Bring in all of the other weapons. Do shit with the Seven Capital Cities of Heaven. Let Davos show up in the third goddamn episode, because the Steel Serpent is not endgame, he’s almost as important to the establishment of Danny’s story as the Kingpin is to Matt Murdock’s.

I don’t want an Iron Fist story that’s a legal drama. I want wire-fighting in the streets of Manhattan. What the fuck is the point otherwise?