#fucking angst out the wazoo

[tickletastic]

Fear Toxin, Love, and Other Sh*tty Drugs

Fandom: DC

Ship: JayRoy

Warnings: canon typical violence, panic attacks (sort of- after effects of fear toxin?)

Summary: Jason and Roy have a rough night out on patrol in Gotham, nothing goes as planned, and an Arkham breakout is just the cherry on top. (not a whole lot of tickling, i got carried away, cross posted to my AO3 bc I planned a second, non-tickly chapter)

The streets of Gotham had not been kind last night.

The previous night started just as expected, a crime syndicate carelessly offloading giant tin shipping containers of the world’s most dangerous weapons, a plan in the works for them to leave them in crime alley, to leave them with the most desperate people in the city and watch Gotham crumble. It was a kid that had tipped Jason off, just some kid with a shitbag dad who thought Jason could save them, thought Jason could save anyone. Jason found out the rest from some of his undercover contacts, who sounded nearly afraid when discussing the kinds of weapons that would soon reach Gotham’s streets. 

Jason was now waiting, impatient and annoyed, on the corner of a tall building, waiting for the right time to jump into action. The building used to have some mom and pop restaurant on the main floor, one that Jason would frequent after long nights of patrol, when he couldn’t drag his body any further. Apartments were above, but they had been condemned at some point after the restaurant closed down. Now, Jason has a safehouse set up in one of the old rooms, and, though he’d never admit it, he uses Wayne funds to stock the old restaurant with frozen pizzas, chips, mac n cheese, and other snacks for the kids that wander by, hoping that they’ll find food somewhere like this. 

Roy is at his back, eating greasy chips from a tupperware container. Jason had insisted that Roy didn’t need a patrol snack, but, after caving in, he made sure, at least, that the snack wouldn’t be so loud. If it weren’t for Roy, Jason would’ve lunged into the action by now, not caring if the syndicate dealt him a broken leg or a dislocated jaw while he took down enough of them to get the weapons somewhere far from here. Roy had always been the patient one, and he manages to keep Jason’s irritability at a low by talking about some book he wanted to read.

The crimes are cresting, the final load now on Gotham’s dock, a sound of trucks in the distance. Now would be the best time, Roy can see every opportunity laid out in front of him, but then Oracle’s voice is ringing out over the comms, panicked and urgent, announcing that tonight, some random fucking night that was just supposed to involve stopping petty robberies and killing a syndicate boss, was the seemingly biannual Arkham breakout. 

Roy and Jason are caught in a heated, whispered debate, Jason thinking they should strike before some goofy D list villain can come interrupt them, but Roy thinks it’s too unpredictable now, that they should return the following week, when Jason knows the syndicate planned to do inventory of their new stash. Jason stands up, Roy grabbing him by the leg of his pants, just as Oracle makes another announcement, the silence between Roy and Jason so tense that it could be broken in half. Roy’s heart started to beat faster, his palms suddenly sweaty where he gripped his bow, the world around them suddenly a cacophony of noise. In spite of the precautions, the two-foot thick concrete walls, and the fucking manual entry external lock system for the cell, he had gotten out too. 

Jason tensed, but otherwise showed no emotion towards the situation– no reaction to the fact that the man who killed him is roaming the same Gotham streets that he is. It was always like this when it came to the Joker, Jason always tensed up and pushed people away, claiming he’s okay until the second he’s not.

Bruce had a protocol for this exact situation– Jason would be moved to Star City, or JL Tower, or Central City, or even the Amazons– just as far as Bruce could get him as quickly as possible. Then, Tim would find Bruce, Duke, or Steph, and stick to them like glue. Damian was expected to find Dick and stick by his side, but that was more of a formality of the plan, since Damian was usually glued to Dick’s side on patrol anyways.

Jason had never been aware of the plan, too stubborn to ever leave in the face of danger, too eager to throw himself back into fear. Sometimes, Wally would come, taking Jason back to Dick’s apartment in Bludhaven despite Jason’s displeasure and squirming. Sometimes, it would be Diana, or “Aunt Di,” as the Robins had always called her, and Jason couldn’t help but agree to whatever she asked, still awestruck by her presence. One, it was even Hal and Barry, Barry gushing about having gone back in time and seeing a Shakespeare play at the Globe. Usually, though, it was Roy calling Jason, coaxing him back to Star City by faking some non-emergent emergency or begging for Jason to help Lian with a spelling test. Usually it was Roy, but Roy was in Gotham tonight. Roy was in Gotham and he would have to physically pry Jason from the roof to get him to give up the sting he had been planning, and there would be nothing that would convince him that his life, his sanity, might be more important for the time being. 

Nothing except for Oracle’s frantic voice, followed by Nightwing’s– Red Robin hasn’t reported, and nobody’s seen him for at least half an hour, caught up in the noise of the Arkham breakout. They have no clue where he is, and, before Oracle can formulate a plan, or even examine the situation with his non-functioning tracker, Jason is hastily grappling from building to building, searching the database in his helmet for a list of every abandoned warehouse in Gotham. 

The communications system is entirely silent, creeping on as each of the bats scramble to understand where Red Robin would have gone, how they had managed to lose track of him for so long. Roy gives panting, out-of-breath updates periodically, telling of the buildings Jason has checked, falling behind as Jason throws himself from rooftop to rooftop. 

Oracle’s gasp rings out over the speakers, hollow and practically shouting, “we have CCTV! The car manufacturing place on the East Side, the corner of 2nd and Church– Hood is the closest!��

“No!” Bruce shouts over the comms, the worried ebb in his voice coming out more like Bruce than Batman, “Signal and I are not much further, we’re on our way.” 

“Absolutely not, 30 minutes is more than enough time for the clown. I’m not letting another fucking Robin die tonight,” Jason grits, hauling ass towards the building as soon as he can see it, the car company’s logo practically decaying, peeling off the building’s facade. 

“Arsenal, do not let Red Hood enter,” Bruce grits over the line, a hardened command, before his voice softens, “please, don’t let him go in.”

Bruce sounds the most scared Roy has ever heard him, and Roy is terrified. He’s desperately trying to keep up with Jason, throwing himself recklessly over the edges of roofs and down rusty fire escapes, but the distance keeps growing. 

“Jay, I can’t keep up,” Roy shouts, a desperate tone, almost a plea, “Jason Peter Todd, you better not go in without me, you better fuckin’ not.”

“It’s him or me,” Jason grunts, “it’s him or me, and I’m not letting him kill another fucking kid.” 

Jason disappears from Roy’s vision, dropping from the sky, and Roy curses, desperately trying to catch up. When he finally drops from the roofs himself, Jason isn’t there, and the door to the warehouse is wide open, dented where a heavy boot kicked it in. Roy rushes in, zeroing in on the direction of the noises he’s hearing– loud clanging and snotty begging– but there’s another door in the way, another door between him, Jason, Tim, and the monster.

“Fuck- fuck! Jason, let me in!” He screams, throwing his body against the door, desperately trying to make a dent as he bangs and kicks and yells. Over the comms, his own voice, shaky and desperate, shouts to the bats, “he’s in there! He’s fucking in there and I can’t get in, I don’t know what’s happening!”

Roy isn’t calm enough to hear any of the responses, breathing heavily, fighting the encroaching panic. He takes one of his explosive arrows, backing up until he thinks he’ll be able to take the door off its hinges with his shot. He lines it up, shaking in spite of all the practice he’s had, all the years he’s spent protecting himself, protecting Jason. There’s a thick thud heard from the other side of the door, and a staticky buzzing playing out in the building, and Roy sees plumes of smoke seep out from the door’s cracks, he hears maniacal laughter announcing itself, the sound of metal dragging on concrete. 

“Jason, if you can hear me, tell me if there’s someone on the other side of this door,” Roy tries to sound commanding, supportive, but his voice is betraying him, hoarse as he shouts, “Jason, I’m going to blow this thing to shreds, I need you to fucking answer me!”

There’s crashing on the other side of the door, noises that sound pained, gasps and shouts and pleas. Roy starts screaming Jason’s name again and again, desperately hoping he has clearance to blow the door to pieces. He finally backs up, aiming again at the rusted, bolted door, when it swings open, Roy hearing the voice over his comms and in person simultaneously. 

“We’ve got them,” Nightwing announces, and he emerges with Tim over his shoulder, gas masks on both of their faces. Despite the masks, Tim looks less than conscious, slack where he hangs over his older brother’s shoulder.

“Where the fuck is Jason?” Roy asks, shaky and scared, caught somewhere between vomiting or hyperventilating, “please, Dick, please don’t tell me-”

Bruce emerges, the sweat on his face visible between the cowl and his own air mask, one arm under Jason’s knees and the other under his back. Unlike Tim, Jason’s eyes are wide open, frantic, while he shakes violently in Bruce’s grip, muttering horrified under his breath. 

“Why isn’t he wearing a mask? Dick, why isn’t Jason wearing a mask?” Roy shouts, hysterical, “Jason, Jace, are you okay? What the fuck happened?”

When Roy approaches, Jason flinches away with a piercing scream, fighting desperately to get out of Bruce’s grip, seemingly terrified. 

“It was fear toxin, Arsenal,” Bruce responds with a grunt, working hard to keep Jason in his grasp, “Jason was given a direct dose, the mask wouldn’t have helped.”

“What the fuck will help? He looks terrified, what is he seeing? What did that fucker do to him? Where the fuck is he?”

Dick takes a second to turn around, having begun making his way to the front door, “Arsenal, the Joker’s dead.”

Roy just gapes, obediently following Bruce and Dick out the door, hoping to god that the bat won’t use this as another opportunity to ice Jason out, hoping the bats have some hidden remedy to Jason’s current paranoia.

The Batmobile awaits them outside when they get out, the Gotham streets feeling quieter than they had when Roy entered, his heart beating in his ears. The Batmobile is small on the best of days, but Roy ends up taking Damian back to the docks and equipping him with enough padding for a skydiving mission, strapping him securely to the back of Jason’s motorcycle before climbing on. Jason would never forgive him if he left the bike in crime alley anyways, knowing a bit too much about crime alley kids and their penchant for stealing expensive tires.

By the time the two are back at the manor, Tim and Jason are in separate medical rooms, Tim out cold, hooked up to machines galore, and Jason fighting with everything left in him to escape the room. He still has the same terrified look in his eyes, and he’s begging, over and over, not to die, crying for help as if he’s back in Ethiopia. 

Roy can hear Bruce trying to shush him, saying comforting, paternal things in Jason’s ear in spite of the physical force he’s using to keep Jason in the room. “You’re not there, Jay. You’re home, you’re with your dad.”

In spite of the comfort, Jason keeps thrashing, tears freely streaming down his face. Roy looks on from outside for a moment, scared that he’ll make it all worse for Jason if he tries to intervene. 

Roy visibly jumps when a voice sounds from next to him, turning to see Dick, discowled but otherwise still in his costume, his brow furrowed, “we gave him the antidote, but it’s going to take a couple hours. The Joker gave him three times what Scarecrow would have, and strapped the mask to his face so he’d have to breathe it all in.”

“Fuck,” Roy sighs, rubbing over his face with one of his hands, “there’s nothing we can do until then? We can’t just let him go through this.”

Dick sighs, mirroring Roy’s tense expression, ���Bruce is trying, I’ve tried, you can give it a shot? Maybe you’ll be able to remind him he’s older than he was back then, that might break the illusion, at least a little bit.”

“Okay, yeah,” Roy says, dropping his hands to his sides, “yeah, I’ll try.”

Dick gives him a reassuring pat on the back before entering the room, dropping his voice to say something hushed to Bruce. Bruce nods, turning to glance at Roy, exhaustion written all over his face. He motions for Roy to enter, and, once he’s sure Roy could hold his own, exits with Dick. 

“Hey, Jay,” Roy says, just above a whisper, “Jay, it’s Roy.” 

Jason is silent now, entire body shaking violently, entire face painted with terror. He’s got a thousand yard stare, seemingly aware that someone is in the room, but looking past Roy. 

“I’m going to come closer, Jason,” Roy announces, stepping towards Jason as if he were some scared animal, because, in some way, he is.

Roy is afraid to touch Jason, afraid that it would trigger him to fight off whatever the hallucinations are making Roy look like. What does he do when Lian’s scared? How does he get her back to sleep when she thinks there’s something lurking in the darkness of the bedroom?

Roy tries to touch Jason as little as possible, maneuvering him so he’s at least close to the edge of the bed. He then rounds the bed to the other side, dropping the weird hospital handle softly so it doesn’t block his way, lying down on one side. He laughs a bit to himself under his breath, trying to shed the shyness from the possibility that one of the other nosy bats could walk in at any time. 

Softly, just loud enough to break the room’s silence, Roy starts to sing Total Eclipse of the Heart, melodic and sweet, like he would sing to Lian when she got scared and crawled between him and Jason in their bed. Roy gets through three quarters of the song before he notices Jason’s shoulders are no longer tensed, that he’s leaning against the bed voluntarily.

Just as Roy is about to start his lullaby rendition of Faithfully, Jason slumps, turning his head. His face is still covered in nervous sweat, and Roy still gets a sense that Jason is not really seeing him, but Jason tries for a hoarse whisper, “R-roy?”

Roy reaches out carefully, easing Jason so his back is on the bed, so he can maneuver them so Roy is holding him, Jason’s head listening to Roy’s heartbeat. “It’s me, Jaybird. Just close your eyes, it’ll all be over soon.” 

Roy feels the spot Jason occupies on his chest getting damp, and starts to run a hand up and down Jason’s back. “I c-can’t stop seeing him. He’s here, he’s g-going to kill me.”

Roy shakes his head, though Jason doesn’t see it, “he can’t hurt you, Jay. He’s gone, and I’d never let him.”

Roy is not entirely sure if Jason believes him, not sure if Jason even knows where he is, but he keeps singing until Jason is shaking a little less, until his breathing has evened out and the spot on his shirt starts to dry. 

When Jason wakes up the next morning, feeling like he has the worst hangover of his life, he coughs hard and long until he’s being manhandled upright, a glass brought to his lips. Dick is helping him drink before passing him a handful of pills. Jason has no clue what any of them are, just that he’ll swallow all of them dry if it means he won’t have to deal with the headache and the nausea anymore. Instead, he feels almost instant drowsiness, and he falls asleep yet again. 

The next time he wakes up, the pain is mostly gone, though there’s something foggy in how he’s perceiving everything around him. He hoists himself up so that he can see the entire room, sitting on the edge of the bed. Sitting with his legs open on the floor, facing the bed, is Roy, reading Jason’s well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice. 

“Didn’t know you knew how to read,” Jason tries to joke, but his voice doesn’t work the way he wanted it to, coming out garbled and hoarse. “What the fuck happened to me?”

Roy looks up, a soft smile on his lips when he sees how different Jason is from last night, “you don’t remember?” 

“Ran into a warehouse,” Jason shrugs.

“And after that?”

“Not a lick.”

To Jason, Roy has a weird glint in his eye, a slight strain in his brow, “I honestly think that’s for the best, Jaybird.” 

Jason rolls his eyes, sore as he picks himself up from the bed. He goes to where Roy is sitting and plops himself in between his boyfriend’s legs, his back to Roy’s chest. “You know, it’s pretty fucked up not to tell me what I experienced first-hand.”

It's Roy’s turn, now, to roll his eyes. He sighs, putting Jason’s book off to the side and hugging Jason tight, his chin on Jason’s shoulder, “it was fear toxin. Fear toxin, you, Tim, and the Joker.”

“Fuck,” Jason sighs, “of fucking course it was.”

“You’re fine, Tim’s fine, everything is alright,” Roy says, running soft fingers through Jason’s hair, curly and unruly from his sleep. 

Jason turns his head to the side, making quick, anxious eye contact with Roy, “I think I’ll take your word for it.” 

“You better.” Roy has a mischievous smile on his face, one that Jason can’t see, but he senses the shift in tone, feels Roy’s fingers migrating down to his tummy. He’d rather huff fear toxin for a second, even third time than admit it, but sometimes, when he feels the fear thrumming in his veins, feels like if he’s not touching Roy then he’ll disappear, that he’ll be underground at 15 again, he yearns for Roy’s soft fingers, his teasing touch that ebbs all the fear from Jason’s system. 

When the fingers start to move, Jason doesn’t even try to hold back, giggling freely into the sleeve of the old Gotham Academy hoodie he’d been put into sometime last night. Roy’s fingers tickle in teasing circles around his belly button, clawing at the skin. 

“C’mon,” Roy says, his voice dripping with the sickeningly sweet softness he always showed Jason at times like this, times when Jason would just accept it rather than prickling away from it, “I want to hear you.”

Jason blushes a light pink, his face heating up, but he moves his hands from his face in favour of lightly grasping Roy’s wrists. “Yohou’re a dick!”

“Oh am I?” Roy’s voice rumbles in Jason’s ear and Jason squeaks, throwing his head back. Roy is grinning so hard it almost hurts, and he kisses the top of Jason’s forehead. Jason scrunches his nose, shaking his head back and forth. 

Roy leaves soft kisses down Jason’s neck, his hands moving up to draw soft shapes over Jason’s sides. Jason’s giggles are bubbly and uninhibited, letting Roy explore. He starts to squirm when Roy’s fingers nearly reach his ribs, scratching just below and eliciting a snort and an embarrassed whine. 

Jason leaves his neck wide open, and Roy takes the opportunity to give him a raspberry, Jason kicking his legs out with a squeal, on the verge of real laughter. Roy makes sure his fingers stay just soft enough, his lips just teasing enough, to have Jason giggling himself silly, happily leaning in to the redhead.  

Roy’s fingers slow a bit, wanting Jason to hear everything he’s about to whisper, “you don’t even know how fuckin’ glad I am that you’re alright.”

Jason’s blush grows hotter, feeling another wave of shyness creeping up. He moves his head to give Roy a kiss on the cheek, his boyfriend’s blush almost matching his, just to even the playing field and all. “I’m soho glad you’re hehere.”

Roy smiles before leaning in for a proper kiss, his fingers just barely grazing over Jason’s sensitive spots. When they both pull away, breathless and awestruck, they’re wearing matching goofy grins, Jason still giggling under his breath. 

Jason spots his book again and uses the very tips of his fingers to pull it close enough for him to pick up. He places it into one of Roy’s hands, smiling mischievously at Roy’s confusion. “Nohow read to mehe, asshole!”

[quitealotofsodapop]

Oooh, The Furnaced!Macaque AU be looking good. So many angst options!

(At least Buddha was nice enough to make the urn with the FFM top)

Spideys Brain: <Ey, let’s make this angstier.>

“What, Mac actually being dead?”

<Nope! Even better!SWK and Mac were reduced to ashes, yeah? What if they were really close in there, so the ash piles were actually one pile?>

“Go on…”

<SWK regenerating from the ashes…he also grabbed onto Mac’s ashes – I mean, it was probs reactionary, like, starting as soon as he dissolved into ash…right on top of Mac’s. Or Mac dissolved into ashes while on top of him, whichever floats the boat…>

“Wait, you mean, like Mac being like an ashy symbiote inside SWKs body that comes out. Would be, him breathing out smoke and, whoa, here’s Macky!”

<Cool idea, not quite. Think Steven Universe Gems.>

“So, they like fused. Can they unfuse?”

<Nope! Loss of self and identity crisis up the wazoo!>

So yeah…Lao Tzu cracking that bad boy open to see what’s up and this unholy combination of both SWK and LEM comes out screaming and hitting – confused, gotta be in a lot of pain, freaking the fuck out in general. Heaven shrieks in terror as this abomination continues the rampage that leaves nearly all of Heaven in shambles – can’t believe they are wishing for SWK to be the one to do it instead.

Dunno what else to say, but I guess there would be a lot of derealizations, disassociations and identity crises down the line. Maybe identity death? Definitely grieving over the loss of self. That Journey is gonna be FUN.

Hmm….Welded Monkey AU? It’s a synonym of fused and, get this, *married*. Guess when they work it out, they might go Garnet on all this, then? Just a Garnet that couldn’t defuse even if they wanted to…okay, bad example…

(Also, imagine the general Wukongverse reaction to this…this fused monkey that still struggles with feeling real and has no actual identity…like, they love their LEMs but that is just the purest of nightmare fuel even for them – who would’ve thought the furnace could bring forth even more fears?)

Ohohoho

"Welded Monkey!au" is delightfully devious.

Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque may have technically "died" to the Furnace...

But the four-armed, firey-eyed, six-eared, and two-tailed Welded Monkey King of the Crucible was born.

And of course this is considering that the being born from the furnace is a grown fusion, and was not compressed into a fresh Diamond Stone Egg from the ashes...

Both two previous minds clashing and marrying and a whole new mind forming all at once. Not even the Buddha is sure what to make of it.

The battle in heaven is legendary, and even the strongest warrior Erlang Shen is left permanently injured - the Welded Monkey being his equal match + 1. But like with the original story, the Monkey proves far too proud to turn down a bet from the Buddha (though the Macaque part of them yells that it's a trick).

Tripitaka finds his bodyguard 500 years later chained under the Mountain, and nearly faints from the sight.

A tall, bronze-furred monkey that looks at the monk with equal fascination and disgust. Molten copper and iron still dripping from their maw. Lets just say Guanyin needs to apply the crown immediately or else the combined anger of SWK and the spite of LEM means one less Journey member.

Many demons run at the sight of them.

The Welded Monkey (aka "Alloy/Héjīn) refers to themselves only in plural pronouns, as to respect their original forms.

They wield a staff and can jump into the shadows of their foes. To the unknowing, it's like seeing an Asura fight on earth.

Their personality is one of opposites; cheeky and demure, boisterous and calculating, honest and scheming, theatric and shy. So many aspects of Sun Wukong and Macaque combined.

It gets a little awkward for them to explain what's exactly going on. Enemies think it's an interesting power-up. Former friends are the most confused.

PIF: "So are you Sun Wukong or are you Macaque?" Hejin: "Yes and no." DBK: "So their child? Being a combination of both?" Hejin: "We have their memories though." DBK: "Hmm... what's it like?" Hejin, thinking for a while: "Noisy. On the inside." PIF: "I always did think Wukong and Macaque would marry. Just not in this way."

I imagine their Journey is more one of finding their own personality and identity after their creation, and them/the world as a whole accepting the loss of who they once were.

The Wukongverse def pities/is terrified of what Hejin respresents. Hejin is not a SWK/LEM child, nor are they just them combined - they are something Else.

The different Lao Tzu/Laozi's make sure to note; "Do Not put more than one monkey in the Furnace at once."

[radiowallet]

Home

Summary: Joel is shocked her words hurt as much as they do. Pairing: Joel Miller x Tess WC: 733 Warnings: 18+MDNI, Grief, child loss, descriptions of blood and wounds. Canonical type violence. A lot of purple prose. Angst. Character introspection out the wazoo. A/N: I don't know guys. I watch the episode. I journal. It's always a mess. I hit post. Honestly, I'm sorry.

~~ Please follow @radiowallet-writes and turn on notifications to be notified of new writing ~~

Gif by @viktorhargreeves

-----

That’s not my fucking home.

Joel is shocked her words hurt as much as they do. How deep they cut. They tear through blood and bone, carving out a space beneath his ribs where his heart still beats despite all efforts. He could have disagreed, denied, refused. But the damage was done. The pain was real.

When had her words become stronger than bullets? Sharper than steel? The horrid crack of fists against flesh? 

Was it before? Before all of this? Before truck batteries and ration cards and fireflies? Lost in the dark of that shitty apartment, cramped bodies and tangled limbs on a mattress not nearly big enough for two? Two people, trying to survive together but somehow apart? Tending wounds and sharing jokes; crapshoot whiskey passed back and forth as battle scars were spared in the smallest of increments. 

Or maybe it had happened in between. Lost in the sparse few moments where hope seemed like a plausible option. Not one he had been ready to entertain just yet, but an idea. One he could ruminate on when everything inevitably went to shit. Something to help sleep come a little easier, when the liquor ran dry and the oxy ran low.

Or had it been quicker than that? A flash and a crack, the site of her molted skin fused into his memory. Putrid shades of ultraviolet red spreading faster than it had any right. A ticking watch, meticulous and cruel, as it steadily took one more thing away from him.

He knows though, that it’s always been there. That potential for crudeness, that risk of pain, the fear of loss. It’s all too tight, a twenty year old memory sinking its teeth in him, blood stuck to his hands, soaked into this shirt, caked beneath his fingernails. He carries it with him, the weight of his daughter painted across his body, his arms so pathetically empty, her blood drying on his skin. 

He can feel it now. He always has and no matter how hard he scrubs, the stain is still there. The weight hangs heavy, too heavy, for something so distant. Yet there are days, more and more and more, he wishes he could look down at his hands, weathered and beaten and so very empty, and still see that sucky shock of black and red. 

He would beg for it if he had the words. 

Tess keeps talking. Of time, of the future, somehow hopeful in the face of her own shortcomings. Death waits at her door as she pushes away the man she refuses to call home, one single request parting her lips. She asks him one thing. This one thing and all he can say is no. 

No. 

He can’t be asked to do this again. To lose someone to this thing, this nightmare. Monsters in the night, shadows of horrors he can’t control. The kind that peel away his flesh and fill him with dread, with only his guilt to keep him company in that shitty apartment, on that tiny bed. 

Joel feels his lip tremble, his hands shake. Does he lean in? Step back? Does he run? Should he stay? 

There’s only one answer. One. 

And it still feels wrong. 

Or is it just that nothing can ever be right? 

There are no goodbyes. No confessions. Later Joel will say there was no time. The lie no worse than the truth; he didn’t have the words. Not then, not now. And as he ran, faster, faster still, Ellie at his heels and smoke in his lungs, he wonders what the price will be this time around. 

There’s no blood dripping down his arms. No marks to wear. No weight to carry. No stains to scrub clean. All he has are her words - cruel in the name of honesty - and in that moment he failed her. He flinched, in the face of her pain, at the beck of her call, refusing to say the thing he knew she could never ask. 

And so he plays them again and again. A staccato in his head, loud and sharp between his eardrums. He flinches every time, his eyes dry and his heart hard, testing the weight of those words on the breadth of his shoulders. Would he carry them for 20 years? One more scar, another stain? Is he strong enough for one more truth? One more failure?

She says it again. 

Home. 

It wasn’t hers. 

Joel wished he had disagreed. 

[22degreehalo]

Aaaaand I finally return with my next update for the Summer Fic Reading Challenge by @ficreadingchallenge!!!

And the end really is coming up, hahah... But I hope I will be able to finish the whole card before then! :)

Reviews/links under the cut~ Ships include Yuki/Kakeru, Aegon/Larys, Dirk/Jake, Archie+Jughead gen, Kirk/Spock, and Aegon/Helaena!

Domestic/Curtain Fic Like Fireworks in the Night Sky by PrincelyHairdos (86k, ongoing, Yuki/Kakeru) Uaaaaghhhhhhhhh OTL I really can’t recommend this fic enough if you want to fuck yourself up!!!!!! Yes, there’s the pining, and the achingly-sweet relationship between the main two boys, but they’re both in relationships at the start of the fic, and the story explores every little beat of the pain and awkwardness and tension of that premise!! None of the characters involved are bad people, and the story is equally sympathetic to all four of them, but Yuki is very much just forcing himself in his relationship with Machi (comphet up the wazoo), and although Kakeru and Komaki sincerely love each other, he and Yuki so obviously have this long-standing unintentional and unaware emotional affair going on that just gets more and more in between them! I chose this theme because so much of the Yuki/Kakeru relationship revolves around how comfortable around one another as uni students living in the same dorms; they’re not actual roommates, but they may as well be with easily they share their space, and it’s that pre-established and on-going easy domesticity that provides all the delicious, awful tension in their actual official relationships!

Rarepair Last Hope by Yarwrit (1.4k, Aegon/Larys) Of course for this theme I had to use a ship that I never possibly would’ve considered prior to that final episode of the show :’D But this fic was exactly what I wanted: Aegon’s despair and Lary’s quiet support; Aegon’s rationally skeptical of his sincerity, but so desperately needs some sort of a real friend, and the commonality between them as two disabled men rings true. Larys might well still just be manipulating him (I mean, that’s certainly at least part of what’s going on), but his attraction, at least, is real, and meaningful <3

Space AU it’s only a canvas sky by Mayleavestars (9.2k, Dirk/Jake) I really struggled with this theme for a while because I’m not much of an AU reader and all the space AUs I could find just felt like normal fics with a hand-waved set dressing. This fic was my saviour: the vaguely Star Trek universe setting relates perfectly to the long-distance communication Dirk and Jake had in canon, allowing for a dynamic that perfectly supports their canon personalities and relationship while giving enough of a twist to the formula to justify the AU. Oh, the pining; the rituals!

Angst love story (but it's platonic) by sharksarewaterdogs (2.8k, Jughead + Archie gen) Another soulmate mark fic, and another fun twist! Jughead's angst is super believable, not just worrying about himself but how Archie would feel to know that his soulmate is an aro/ace guy. But Archie is so sweet, and once the shock wears off, their friendship really does shine through! I always love to see a-spec fics with at least a lil non-fluffiness, and this was nice and cathartic <3

Author’s Oldest Fic The Word Withheld by j_s_cavalcante (12k, Kirk/Spock) Of course for this theme I had to go with one of the chronologically oldest ships I’ve been into, and what a beautiful fic I chose for that!! I have memories of AOS fic about Spock Prime encouraging his younger self tom seize the day and make the most of the time he has with Kirk, but applying that plot to TOS gives it all the more resonance given the way things turn out in the canon timeline. The quiet intimacy between Kirk and Spock is on full display here, and perfectly reminded me why I once read so many fics about these two <3

Bittersweet/Unhappy Ending lost innocence. By ProjectFreelancer (1.4k, Aegon/Helaena) :’( These two deserved so much better… Among all the longfic in this fandom I was soooo happy to see this shorter and more melancholy missing-scenes type fic, elaborating on this relationship we haven’t gotten to see nearly enough of, with a particular focus on the actually pretty damn traumatic circumstances of their marriage!! It ends on a positive note for the whole family… but we already know how this story ends. :(

And that's all so far!!

Of the spaces left, I have a definite fic in mind for 'Enemies to Friends / Lovers' (it's just a matter of finishing it first; could've done that before making this post but I've delayed long enough already :') ), and a potential something for Take Your Fandom To Work and Secret Relationship. I didn't expect that last one to be difficult given how much I love the trope, but maybe I just need to try some other pairings... And I've always figured it wouldn't be too hard to find something for Whump once I get in the mood, heh.

So with all that, it'll just be a matter of which of the random non-recced fics I've read recently I should use for the Free Space!! n.n

(Also ahhhhh I really did expect to ask for another card before this thing ended... but that'd be kinda pointless now, huh :'D)

(Also? Yes, I have indeed managed all different ships for each square so far. :'DDD No idea how it's worked out that way, but I can't bring myself to stop now!!)

[obxfiles]

okay hear me out (season 4 spoilers)

disclaimer: i'm delusional as fuck and i know this will never happen but just let me live in my imagination please lol

jj had to run away after all the disaster he caused back home. he'd have charges raked up out the wazoo. his whole life in jail pretty much. so he had to run away and had to "die" to get a fresh clean start in yucatán or something

it was a plan they'd devised and only kie and john b know that he's okay and safe and where he is

this causes drama in season 5 when the others all find out but eventually they understand after a bit of angst and are just happy jj is okay

season 5 ends with them all joining him in his little island hideout that's like the og pougelandia but he's got a house and a little boat and he's so happy

and it ends with them all running to hug him

him swinging kie around like midsummers

the closing shot is them all gathered around the table for a meal together, the sun setting behind them. the camera pans to the sun and the screen fades out.

the end.

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 KuroEne AU: Ene sets the rules for their game (NSFW) 🖤💙

(CW: Mainly SFW, but some NSFW~ish rambles under the cut)

KagePro Anthology Scans: @/pyralisa

I JUST FOUND THIS SAVED IN MY FILES FROM ONE OF THE KAGEPRO ANTHOLOGIES (FORGOT WHICH ONE) AND ENE 😭😂 ENE MY WIFE I LOVE YOU SO BAD... SHE’S SO FUNNY PLEASEEE

SHINTARO'S DEADPAN BLANK FACED REACTION HELP

JUST IMAGINE KUROHA REACTING TO ENE SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HIM ADSHHSDHDSH

GOD HE WOULD BE SO AMUSED...

Wrote a quick little scenario based on this idea

KuroEne AU: Kuroha entertains Ene's antics

Some notes:

Kuroha’s teasing comment about envying her baseless confidence is sarcasm. And it’s teasing on purpose. It’s basically him saying, “Yes, I want to taste more of that confidence of yours, and the way you show off (put on airs) and try to act tough”

Ene tells him that, as the embodiment of “Knowledge,” then he can afford to have a bit more knowledge stuffed into his brain since he’s basically like a living encyclopedia. And that “knowledge” includes that she’s the one who’s right.

I like writing their teasing banter… It’s fun hehe. I just wrote this quickly for now.

KuroEne AU: Ene sets the rules for their game

(CW: Implied intimacy)

A KuroEne idea I came up with... I'm planning to add to it sometime soon (whenever the inspiration hits)

(CW: NSFW~ISH TEXT)

Ok I'm gonna make a NSFW~ish comment but uh. Y'know with that one MCA scene where Kuroha goes like, "Yes… That expression of yours… It's wonderful! Lovely, indeed, isn't that right?"

With this mf being like THIS? So I was imagining a scenario where KuroEne are being intimate, and during their sex, Ene feels tears pricking her eyes from the pleasure, and Kuroha notices and just leans in and licks up the trail running down her face.

(He does this with drool and with their fluids after they finish, too. This guy is a fucking freak /pos but it's such an easy way to rile up Ene.)

When they finish, Kuroha reaches out and runs his finger through the mixture of their fluids and teasingly brings it up to his mouth to taste, both out of curiosity and also because he wants to see Ene's flustered reactions, and Ene just goes like $!@?(!@%^!&@

Kuroha: (He leans forward and licks up the trail of tears on her cheek.)

Kuroha: Yes, that's it… Show me that face of yours drowning in pleasure.

Kuroha: Hmm~ You taste as sweet as ever. Wouldn't you agree?

Ene: ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? THAT'S DIRTY!!!

Kuroha: Don't be so surprised~ I want to savour this, after all. I could get used to the taste…

KuroEne AU: Kuroha introduces himself to Ene

Also a separate KuroEne one I came up with

Takes place in a different Route than the idea I wrote up top

I didn't really get the time to write much for this one but haha angst (and pending future betrayal) up the wazoo

He's so evil for this lmao

[cielsosinfel]

here are my thoughts on all BG3 companions up through the end of Act 1 and very beginning of Act 2:

Astarion: light of my life, I am actually spoiled for probably 95% of his story, he is such a disgusting and rancid poor little meow meow and I want to see him grievously mutilated and tortured and then gently put back together again (repeat). As a faggy bi man he is the best #representation I have seen yet from mainstream media lmao. If i speak too much about him this whole post will be about him, sorry. Guro noncon yandere kink fanfic material out the wazoo, tho (Also of course I have many many thoughts on his character's narrative around trauma and healing or the lack thereof, but, too many words)

Shadowheart: I LOOOOVE HER I love her. I kind of wish they'd kept her as initially hostile and cruel as in EA after viewing video of it, but I also enjoy how she seems low-key and almost normal, though an asshole, and then BAM suddenly she's waxing poetic about committing terrifying emotional and physical torture in the name of her beloved mommy goddess. She is such an asshole and I feel like she gets soft on the PC weirdly fast, but I also do enjoy how playing Dark Urge informs the relationship dynamic as her backstory and personality unfolds, how the fact she becomes Best Friends with them despite the whole blackout-frenzied-murder and urges to eat corpses plays into her own issues and desire for understanding and connection (the memory loss and disconnect from her previous life and sense of self, the god devotion, wanting to make herself an even worse person in the name of her god, how completely committed she is in the art of torture and causing suffering, how she's simultaneously disgusted by and intrigued by Dark Urge's whole murder cannibalism urges.) Anyway yes she's great, I love her turmoil about not living up to her potential as a Shar-loving religious zealot and expert torturer.

Wyll: Wylllllllllll I feel like he was done so dirty by the writers between Early Release and Release. They should have continued to let him be an asshole warring with living up to heroic ideals, who just made a deal with a demon out of desperation for respect and appreciation. But he's fun in release too, just too low-key for me? With Dark Urge it's interesting because he is truly the most morally Good-Aligned party-member, probably, and I think about how he must grapple his morals with aiding and growing close to a murderous gore-loving freak. He's constantly having to compromise his own deeply-held ideals in the name of getting the tadpole out of his head, and I wonder about that constantly. At the same time, he's so focused on doing good and the cause of justice but is REALLY REALLY DOWN FOR GOBLIN MASS-MURDER... Like OK Wyll!! They kept that from Early Access at least lmao. His relationship with Mizora and the angst and regret he feels at signing a contract with her, for making this one major ill-thought decision while in a high-stress "do or die" situation, gets me, the way he's like, so resigned to it... How he's so resigned to being transformed into the very thing he'd dedicated his life to culling existence of (demons.) (The constant metaphors to being a pampered pet on a leash get to me.) Though you know, it still gets me he's lamenting how ugly he looks with horns, claws and fangs, in the middle of a party full of Tiefling who just faced a lot of life-threatening discrimination for looking like demons... lmao... especially when he's venting these things to a Tiefling Durge lmao... oh wyll...... Anyway I think he's sweet, and I have even more thoughts on him and Astarion being foils who need to fuck. I want to learn more about his daddy issues so I can give him a proper daddy kink. Wow, how is this the longest part of this post.

OK THIS GOT TOO LONG AND ITS ONLY THREE CHARACTERS!!!! I am going to an indie comics and arts festival today, I will come back to do the rest of the characters later.

[arttrampbelle]

One of my big issues in ghost of tsushima is the retcons they did to fit with the iki island expansion. That always bothers me when writers do that in a game.

Im so sick of them retconing things that don't need it.

But i also kinda hate how they are a bit bias to certain characters. Or at least fans are.

There should be no bias in this game. Period.

That's the point of an open world game. With many choices. Otherwise its not really good is it?

I really wish they would actually make consequences feel like consequences in this game.

Being ghost like or samurai. Being honorable or not. And the good,bad and ugly with it. But nope all we get is special dialogue. Thats all i really feel we get.

Where is the actual danger outside of invaders in this game? Where is the threats of former friends? Shimura hunting down jin himself? It would be oof in the feels but plausible. Instead we dont really feel any real looming dangers of the casualties of war.

Iki island seems cool but i feel it doesn't really add anything special. Cept confusion,unnecessary angst,and making his dad and uncle look like dicks and painting him n his mom as helpless. And it irks tf outta me narratively.

Because i never saw jin that way. Ever. Like he was driven to the path of the ghost because of anger and pain and different ways on handling things in war. Thats it. No need for a sob story. No need for any explanations.

I feel adding his mom and dad too much in a story and showing them too much kinda ruins it. It didn't need to explain that part.

What it needed was a proper sequel and TO MOVE ON WITH THE STORY. dwelling too much on what was supposed to be just passing mentions just ruins a story for me.

I would rather see the aftermath of jin being wanted by the shogan(maybe even showing that the shogan aint such a good guy. I mean lets be honest,it kinda hints at that. And shimura even felt that shit too but he had no choice but to follow. Sorry i know a lot of shit about samurai history. I didnt study this shit for years for nothing. There is hella plot holes and historical inaccuracies out the wazoo on this game) Shimura feeling regret(because lets be honest he would. Like maybe a shimura redemption arch? Plz?). Like fr. Like you could take it so much better. But nope they have to go the typical route. As per usual.

Its so predictable.

But it pains me because i felt the expansion pack should have been something else. If they wanted to add more enemies they could do so without meddling with the already good story. Like there was nothing wrong with the main story at all. Like why fuck it up? Like why retcon things that didnt need it? Makes no sense.

The only thing I'd change is taka actually being more than a helpless waif or treated like one. And ryuzo not betraying jin outright but instead how his straw hats betray ryuzo and anger and frustration consumed jin so it looks like ryuzo betrays him but its not. Like you could do so much more with that. And make jin look less like an asshole. And give reason why his anger consumes him?

I just feel like it could be better. Now that i am actually analyzing it better.

Still an amazing game. But yeah. There is some holes i have seen now. Big holes. Like bruh.

Anyways enough venting. Like there is just so many better ideas they could have taken the game and could take it in the future.

[portlandwithyou]

#due south#f/v#benton fraser#due south meta#cotw#i needed more angst and drama re fraser's feelings in cotw please#specially with ray's return#with ray fucking getting shot for him AGAIN#this is a issue they have k#because to me this story that ray left#fraser retreated alot into his mountie persona to be less vunerable#fraser befriended ray k#ray v comes back#frasers dad issues#fraser and thatcher weird romance issues#also about geling on duty versus personal#and then the same time ray gets shot he finds out his mom was killed by the same guy#also because of duty and bob having that as priority#and the mindfuckery of dad lied#old dutiful justice is life and death dad tried to kill and wants revenge and this is what kinda broke him but thanks for not sharing#or caring to pass that on re raising me Bob Fraser#fraser should be having issues up the wazoo

Again I ask!!! Why would you hide the good things in the tag!!!!!!

that fucking insert shot of fraser throwing his hat away while running up the stairs after ray v in the finale is going to haunt me til i die

[spoiledspine]

Fucking angsty AU time

So @k-kaituhi and I came up with a fucking AU that I love and has gots to share.

Ok so the basics is Keith gets taken by the Garrison from Papa Kogane (we call him Shawn, but goes by Tex) when only a few weeks old, like right after Krolia makes it back into space and is basically a test subject cause, you know, part alien.

Tex spends the better part of the next 12 years trying to figure out where his son is being kept and how to get him out?? It rough buddy.

In comes Shiro, aged 19 and absolutely learned how to read, basically being fast tracked to greatness cause 1)damn kid is smart af and his scores are blowing shit out da water and 2)good looking people attract public support for shit and damn Shiro is a very good looking buddy. Somewhere it gets decided to offer him a unique position while the machinery for a test flight for a future mission (that mission is gonna become Kerberos but we ain’t there yet).

And surprise?! That unique position puts Shiro in direct contact with Keith, aged 11, as his “human support enrichment lead” (fancy way of saying handler). Fucking of course Shiro immediates starts planning on how to break this kid out cause 1)this is fucked up as shit 2)shiros a good soul and can’t stand by and watch suffering and 3) THIS IS FUCKED UP AS SHIT.

Over the course of several months, Shiro learns more about keith and they learn to trust each other. Shiro at some point goes to Sam holt (neighbor and vey good friend, the holts were there for him and became his guardians when his parents unexpectedly died when he was 15) about how to even break this kid out.

Sam starts trying to do his own digging and ends up getting contacted by Tex (who is a code writer in this au and is responsible for writing the code the Garisson uses for most of their tech. He’s been making a living as a dark web hacker/coder and is very well known there for covering his tracks very fucking well) who found Sam snooping poorly through Garisson archives or something.

Basically these three end up with a plan to break Keith out and back to his dad. Garisson will be none the wiser to Shiro and sams involvement and shit will be ok.

This plan has to get scrapped suddenly when Shiro overhears that the order has come down to terminate Keith’s life and do a full autopsy at this point as he as a live subject has been exhausted otherwise. Andddd that’s supposed to happen in approximately 25 hours time.

When it’s all said and done, Shiro and Keith end up on a hoverbike on the run and planning to meet Tex somewhere in New Mexico.

They all meet up and basically end up on the run together, Tex and Shiro trying their best to give Keith the support system he needs to heal and trying to make up for the childhood he didn’t have. Sometimes a family is 37 year old deepweb hacker, a 19 year old space program golden boy, and one super traumatized 12 year old.

As expected, shit goes good and shit goes bad:

This includes such heartwarming scenes as Keith getting sick for the first time and almost dying cause he ain’t got an immune system worth shit.

Shiro and Tex celebrating Keith’s first birthday with him.

Keith figuring out his favorite music is bluegrass and Tex’s southern heart rejoicing and Shiros pop loving ass silently groaning.

Shiro still losing his arm by trying to wrangle a gun away from being pointed at Keith by some faceless Garisson baddy and it going off. Subsequent injury becomes infected and arm has to be amputated due to gangreene (reoccuring oc by the name of Larry is a doc for hire on the deep web, basically has to get called in to amputate shiros arm. Eventually gets a prostheic but that’s a good year or so down the line).

Shit like that.

Anyways, six years after breaking free, Keith feels like there is something pulling him back to the desert around the Garisson.

Low and behold, like destiny or some shit, errbody ends up in that blue ass lion and out in space. Shiro gets fitted with a better prosthetic and the three of them keep Keith’s heritage on the downlow, especialllllly once they understand that the galra aren’t exactly Allura’s faves.

Thats about all imma spew about this for now, I’ll tag other shit for this as #ExperimentAU if ya’ll wanna find that shit.

[bangtanintotheroom]

Turbulence (M)

Tell me again, that we’ll be lovers and friends

• Pairing: Rich!Hoseok x (F)Reader

• Genre: Rich!AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers

• Rating: 18+

• Words: 37.1k 

• Summary: The beginning of the trip should have guaranteed that the next seven days would be smooth sailing but maybe the consequences of your actions were too much to handle.

• Warnings/themes: fun times in Hawaii 😎, jealousy up the wazoo, DOLPHIN ENCOUNTER 🐬, reader and Hobi are two stubborn idiots, slight possessiveness on both sides, pining, wisdom from a stranger, swearing, arguing, drinking, dom!Hobi, reverse cowgirl, light bondage, spanking, dirty talk, oral (m. and f. receiving), unprotected sex (BC is not 100% effective, people), ball play, face-fucking, come swallowing, not-so-fun masturbation (f.), confessions, role reversal, bit of shower sex, handjobs, riding, praise, cockwarming, two soft dummies 🥺

• Notes: I never thought I would be writing a sequel to DCiMA but here we are! That story just ended up being one of my favorites I’ve ever written and I couldn’t help but want to do a follow-up for dear reader and Hobi. While this will be just as smutty as its predecessor, there is going to be lots of angst because I love the pain 😬 This is a long one so buckle in your seatbelts! And huge, HUGE shoutout to @jeonjcngkook​ for sitting and betaing this beast of a fic (you’re crazy and ily mwah mwah 🤧💖💖💖) Crossposted to AO3 as well.

• Song Inspo: Lovers and Friends - Lil Jon & the Eastside Boyz (Spotify | Soundcloud); I Wanna Be - Kehlani (Spotify | Soundcloud)

•Taglist: @sugalaritae​ , @starkstyl3s​ , @oxiddd​ , @sexyuntitl3d

Masterlist | DCiMA | Turbulence

Hawaii was nothing like back home. The air smelled divine, the people always had smiles to give you and you only had to worry about getting dressed and getting to your destination on time.

Well, that and making sure that you and Hoseok kept your hands off of each other as long as possible.

Which you were failing miserably at right now as he had you impaled on him, your body facing the foot of the bed while he held your arms behind your back. If it wasn’t for his tight grip, you’d be face first into the mattress right now.

“Shit-!”

You bowed forward at the sudden rush of pleasure before Hoseok pulled at your arms, straightening you up again.

“Sit straight, darling.”

A grumble came out of you. “H-How do you expect me to when you keep moving like that?!”

A swat to your ass was the reward you got for your sassiness, making you squeak. “I expect you to follow directions like a good girl, regardless of what I’m doing to you.”

Your body trembled more at his previous actions and words but your mouth just wouldn’t quit. “You’re so unfair…”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you felt Hoseok sit up, pressing his torso to your back, your arms still held and sandwiched in between. A hand came around to grip your jaw, tilting it back enough for his lips to brush your ear and husk out, “What’s unfair is that you ate my pineapple pork without asking me, Y/N.”

“You said you didn’t want anymore!”

Hoseok scoffed. “I meant for the night, you brat. Maybe if you actually communicated with me, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now, hm?”

His hips had paused while he was scolding you, leaving your core aching for some friction. So you started moving a bit on him, only for him to growl and tighten his grip on your arms.

“Stop that right now or I’ll leave you on this bed alone. You don’t get to come until I say so, understand?”

“Mnh, sir…”

“I said–“ His hand turned your head so you faced him. “Do. You. Understand?”

Your mouth opened automatically to retort but nothing came out as you studied his face. Hoseok had a look that you had grown familiar with these last couple of days, dark eyes narrowed and full of warning, not diminished by the flush of his cheeks and the sweat beading his brow. There was no way you’d win this fight.

“I…I understand, Hoseok.”

His heart-shaped mouth tilted into a smirk, giving your lips a peck. “That’s my girl.”

With that, he let go of your jaw and laid back down, starting to roll his hips up into a pace that he knew made you weak. You quickly began panting, his movements making you bounce on his lap. “A-Ahh…”

“Mm…now are you going to apologize?”

“Y-Yes…oh fuck–“

“What for?”

“F-For—“ A whine interrupted you. “For eating your food…ngh–“

You heard his chuckle from behind. “And it won’t happen again, right?”

“No sir, it won’t–! Oh God, please…”

Hoseok bit back a laugh at how desperate you sounded. “Please?”

“P-Please let me come, Hoseok, I can’t take it anymore–!”

Cock twitching at your begging, he flicked his tongue over his lips before sitting up once more. Creeping his free hand around your torso, he rested two of his fingers on your throbbing clit and began stroking in the way he learned you had liked, forcing a shriek out of you as you threw your head back on his shoulder. 

“Shh, not so loud, sweetheart. As much as I love it, I don’t think our neighbors would take too kindly to all this noise.”

‘How the fuck do you expect me to stay quiet with what you’re doing to me?!’ is what you wanted to say but the way his digits and dick were hitting the right spots rendered you incapable of words. All you could do was sit there and let him bring you closer to your climax.

“H-Hose- oh–“

Hoseok let out a low moan as you started tightening on him more frequently, holding you tight by your arms as he put more force into his thrusts, causing your body to bounce harder. “Shit, baby…I’m close–”

A whimper came out from his words, hoping that he would have mercy and let you finish. After a few more thrusts and stronger flicks of his fingers, you felt the ball of tension getting unbearably tight as your body began shaking. “S-Sir, I-I can’t–!”

A grunt sounded in your ear before Hoseok murmured, “Not until I say so.”

“B-But–“

A nip to your earlobe gave you warning. “I said wait, Y/N. Don’t disobey me.”

Now you whimpered even louder, doing your best to listen and hold off from your orgasm. But you often found yourself on the edge when his cock brushed against certain areas along your walls or his fingers rubbed over your clit just right. Just when you were about to beg for him to let you come again, Hoseok’s hips abruptly stilled and a hitched gasp came out from him.

“Now.”

With just that one word, you fell over the edge, crying out loud enough that he had to clamp the hand that was between your legs over your mouth. Your body jerked on top of his, faintly registering the way he twitched inside and began filling you up with his own release, the warmth pooling inside.

“Shit–” Hoseok held you close to him, managing to keep his eyes open to watch you fall apart. “That’s it, darling…you look so beautiful like this—"

You could register words leaving his mouth but they sounded jumbled in the midst of your ecstasy. All you were able to do was ride out your peak until your body fell slack against his torso, panting hard as your head rolled back onto his shoulder. He responded to this by planting light kisses along your jaw and neck, muttering more words of praise that started sounding clearer now that you were calm.

“Mm…Hobi?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You turned your head to give him an apologetic look, complete with puppy eyes. “Sorry I ate your pork…really, I thought you didn’t want any more of it.”

Hoseok’s eyes softened as he pouted. “You really should have asked me first. I was looking forward to having it as my snack!”

You matched his pout, sticking your lower lip as far out as you could before pressing your nose against his. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking! Hey, tell you what? Why don’t I grab an extra serving at the buffet so you can bring it back and have it later tonight?”

The other’s eyes widened at your offer. “But…you can only get one extra serving and you’re crazy about that fried rice they have…”

“I know.” You pulled back and gave him a soft grin. “But I think I’ll survive one day without extra fried rice, right?”

With that, Hoseok stayed quiet as he looked into your eyes to see if you were joking with him or not. But you stayed steadfast, even tilting your head when he didn’t answer right away. Something in him warmed at your courtesy, causing an unreadable emotion in his gaze. You didn’t have much time to study it before that smile made of sunshine appeared.

“You’re too good to me, sweetheart.”

Your expression sobered a little at the nickname he threw out. You had gotten used to the name the last couple of days but Hoseok had only used it when he was in his dominant role, which he clearly was out of at the moment (even though he was still housed inside you). But you figured it was a slip of the tongue and shrugged it off, returning the bright look he was giving you.

“You’re welcome, Hobi. You know what would be nice though?”

“What?”

Your grin formed into a straight line. “If you let go of my damn arms before I lose any more circulation.”

Hoseok jumped at the reminder, looking down to see that your arms were still behind you and held tight in his grip. “Shit, sorry.”

He loosened his hold and carefully brought them to stretch out in front of you, pulling a sigh of relief as the blood began flowing to your fingertips again. Hoseok aided in it by massaging your arms, starting from the tops of your forearms all the way down to your fingers. His chin rested on your shoulder as he looked down, making sure to be thorough. After a few minutes, he looked up at you with a cheeky smile. “Better?”

“Mhm! Thanks Hobi.”

Hoseok beamed at you, lifting one of your hands to give it a kiss. “Alright, I think we should start getting cleaned up, that show is going to be starting in the next hour.”

Your mouth popped open at the reminder, looking at the clock on the nightstand. “Oh wow, it’s that late already?”

“I mean, time does fly when you’re fucking, no?”

He narrowly missed your hand escaping to swat his cheek, giggling as he ducked his head behind yours.

“Dork.”

“You love it.”

You rolled your eyes, fighting the urge to confirm his statement. “Whatever.”

Hoseok gave the back of your neck a kiss before his hands went to your hips, holding them as he slowly lifted you off of him with a low moan. He placed you on your side on the bed, giving your bottom a pat. “Give me a minute, I’ll be right back.”

You nodded, squeezing your thighs together as he got up and headed into his bathroom. It had become somewhat of a routine after sex with Hoseok to have him go out of his way to clean up whatever mess he had left in or on you, whether it be with a washcloth or a shower. Part of you attributed it to aftercare after being so rough with you while another part thought he was just being a good friend. Or maybe you were so used to taking care of yourself after sleeping with someone that his actions threw you off. Either way, you didn’t mind. A little flutter built in your chest whenever he did it though, leading you to wonder whether he went out of his way to do this with all of his hookups or if you were a special case.

You couldn’t dwell on it anymore as he returned with a damp washcloth in his hand, motioning you to reposition yourself. Without hesitation, you rolled onto your back, spreading your legs as he kneeled between them, eyes lingering on your swollen folds as his come began leaking out. Snapping out of it, Hoseok brought the cloth down and tenderly started cleaning you up. You came to a realization that you liked watching how his face shifted into sheer focus whenever he did this, brows knitting and his tongue occasionally peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Before you knew it, he finished, shooting you a thumbs up.

“All done!”

A giggle left as you reached down and ruffled his messy hair. “Thank you as always, Hobi. What would I do without your cleaning expertise?”

“Probably drip my come all over the floor and sheets.”

“Hoseok!” You scowled and flicked his forehead, receiving an ‘ouch’ paired with a laugh. “Way to ruin the mood, dickhead.”

“You asked and I responded!” He chuckled as you rolled your eyes, standing up once more. “Do you wanna shower here or in your room?”

You were tempted to wash up in his bathroom but he did get you two separate rooms for a reason…

“I’ll just go in mine, don’t worry. Besides, I’m scared we’ll be late if we shower together.”

Hoseok’s face reddened as you gave him a knowing stare. “Hey, I said I was sorry about breaking my promise on the plane! You just looked so good in front of me, wet and soapy with my handprints on your ass…”

His voice had lowered a bit at the end, making the soreness between your legs more apparent as you clenched at the memory. Now was not the time to get horny again, your pussy needed somewhat of a break.

“Hobi, I think it will be best for both of us if we keep our bathing separate, yeah?”

Of course he pouted, looking like a kid who was told they couldn’t sit next to their friend in class. “If you say so.”

You gave Hoseok a thumbs up before getting up from the bed as well, stretching your arms upward with a yawn (you didn’t notice Hoseok’s eyes traveling over your body as your eyes were closed). Lowering them, you gave a pleased sigh and shot the other a smile, patting his toned chest before sauntering to the door going into the living room. You opened it and shut it behind you, leaving Hoseok alone in his bedroom.

His face went into one of discontent as he stared at the door. He really hoped you would say yes to showering with him.

Sighing, he shook his head and ran his hand through his damp strands, clutching the washcloth in his other hand. He should start cleaning up; at least he had four more days to change your mind.

If anyone was looking close at you and Hoseok, they would have thought you were dragging the poor man to his death.

While you were bobbing your head to the music playing on the pier, the taller man had a look of restlessness that showed in the way his head darted at nearly every noise around him.

All because you wanted to visit the goddamn dolphin encounter.

“Ooh, I can’t believe we’re going to swim with the dolphins, I’ve been wanting to do this for so long!” You swung Hoseok’s arm in glee, oblivious to his demeanor. “I wonder what they feel like? They look rubbery but maybe their skin is tough! Oh, and I read that they can kind of understand what you say to them! What should I say?” You hummed in thought before snapping your fingers on your free hand. “Aha! Maybe I can tell them how cute they are and swim over to Korea so we can see them all the time! What do you think, Hobi?”

Hoseok merely swallowed the lump in his throat, croaking out a feeble response, “Sounds great, Y/N…”

Your joy dimmed a bit at his tone, looking up at him with concern. “Hoseok, are you really that scared to do this? They’re harmless creatures!”

“Harmless?!” His head whipped over to look at you with shock. “I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of them hurting humans before!”

“Okay but how often does that happen?”

“Once is all it takes!”

You shook your head, giving his hand a squeeze before rubbing your thumb over the back of it. “Come on Hobi, it’s going to be okay. Look, if you don’t want to come in the water, you don’t have to.”

“Oh no—” Hoseok scowled, adjusting his bucket hat with his other hand. “I paid for two people, I’m getting my money’s worth.”

“Why do you sound like a middle-aged man who squeezes every ounce of toothpaste out of the tube before he throws it away?”

“Aish, be quiet.” He reached up and pinched your nose, prompting you to squeak and bat his hand away with a scowl. “Let’s just get this stupid thing over with.”

Sighing at Hoseok, you continued walking until the two of you reached the dolphin encounter area. Your giddiness increased while Hoseok shrank underneath his hat, fighting the desire to make a 180 and run back towards the resort. You spotted two people standing underneath the arch, an older man and a younger woman dressed in white polos and cargo shorts. They gave you both bright smiles once you arrived.

“Aloha, folks! Welcome to our dolphin encounter! My name is Kealoha—”

“And my name is Momi! Who do we have joining us today?”

You grinned and waved. “Hi, I’m Y/N!”

A nudge to the ribs brought Hoseok back to focus. “I-I’m Hoseok.”

Kealoha chuckled at Hoseok’s behavior. “First time here?”

“For both of us, this guy is a scaredy-cat.”

“Hey!”

Momi giggled at your banter. “Aw, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! You’re not the first one to act like this. I’m sure that by the end of the encounter, you’ll be wishing you had more time with them!”

Hoseok gave a dry laugh. “Yeah, wishful thinking.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Come on yellowbelly, let’s go meet some mammals.”

There wasn’t much of a point in fighting so Hoseok sighed and trailed behind you and the instructors. The four of you walked further into the water park, Kealoha and Momi giving brief explanations of what to expect and backgrounds on the dolphins. There were going to be two of them, a boy and a girl named Kimo and Kaimana, who were siblings. You listened to their words with sparkles in your eyes while Hoseok barely nodded, wanting to get this over with. The group reached a part where there were enclosed pools just off the pier with openings that led out into the ocean before stopping in front of one of them.

“Alright you two, grab a life vest and hop on in!”

You couldn’t help the little clap you gave in excitement, wasting no time in pulling off your cover-up before picking up the flotation device and securing it onto yourself. As soon as Hoseok finished undressing and getting his on, you shot him a double thumbs-up and a reassuring grin. It seemed to ease his nerves a bit as he returned the gesture with a mite of a smile.

The both of you climbed into the water, standing on the shallow steps before looking up at the instructors. Momi beamed at the both of you. “Alright folks, are we ready to meet some new friends?”

A strong ‘yes’ came out of you while a feeble ‘no’ came out of Hoseok.

“Great! Let’s bring them over!”

Momi brought the whistle hanging around her neck up to her lips, cutting the air with the sound of it. Within seconds, two large shapes made their way over to the pool, breaking the surface with excited chirps.

“Ahh, Hobi, look, there they are!”

The other couldn’t help his eyes bugging out at the dolphins, realizing just how big they were compared to him.

“Wow…”

“Good afternoon, Kimo and Kaimana! We brought some new friends for you to play with today so say hi!”

The two dolphins chirped and swam away before going parallel to you and Hoseok, their bellies facing you as their flippers waved enthusiastically. Their movements pulled a sound of endearment out of you, melting at the gestures.

“So cute!”

“Huh…polite, aren’t they?”

Kealoha chuckled. “I would hope so! Have either of you touched a dolphin before?” At the shakes of your heads, the man nodded. “I see, I see. Well, we’ll have to change that today, won’t we? The two of them are going to swim by you again, just reach a hand out and gently touch their skin.”

Picking up his whistle, he blew into it, prompting the mammals to glide past you in the water while your hands went out to touch them, marveling at the firm yet rubbery skin.

“Feels weird…”

Momi grinned at Hoseok’s remark. “It does, doesn’t it? Dolphins have smooth and durable skin to help them glide through the water easier, along with a layer of blubber underneath to help them float and keep them safe from predators.”

Hoseok made a sound of wonder as he took in the info. The other instructor caught both of your attention with a clap.

“Okay, why don’t we take things up a notch? Kimo and Kaimana love affection of all kinds, from kisses to hugs, so how about you show them some love, guys?”

While you beamed and nodded eagerly, Hoseok’s eyes nearly popped out as he shook his head. “Hobi, relax, you’re going to be fine! Quit being such a wimp!”

“Don’t call me a wimp! Why do I have to kiss them?!”

Momi offered, “Hoseok, if you’re not comfortable with lip contact, they can kiss you on the cheek instead.”

You pouted at how he practically jumped at the alternative. “Yes please, that sounds a little more bearable.”

“Not a problem! Kealoha, I think Kimo and Kaimana are ready for some attention.” She pointed to the dolphins, watching the way they practically wiggled in the water. “Are you two ready?”

Your head bobbed in a quick nod. “Ready as ever!”

Hoseok attempted to smile. “I guess so.”

“Good! You know what? Why don’t we let Kimo go first to Y/N so Hoseok can get some reassurance?” You had no objections, looking over at Hoseok to see him expressing the same thing. “Wonderful!”

Kealoha motioned Kimo to swim over to you, the mammal floating in front while staring at you with dark eyes. You couldn’t help the giddiness inside at being up close and personal with such beautiful creatures. It felt like a smile was permanently painted on your face.

“Okay Kimo, give her a big smooch!”

With the blow of the whistle, the male dolphin chirped and leaned forward to press its beak to your puckered lips, making you giggle at the odd sensation. Hoseok watched in mild fascination and horror as the two of you kissed, a bit worried that the animal was going to bite your face out of nowhere. But his worries lessened at seeing the grin that was threatening to break your pucker, a funny feeling forming in his chest at the sight and the corners of his lips quiver slightly as he tried not to smile himself. Once the whistle blew again, Kimo pulled back and chirped, wiggling a bit before swimming back to his sister.

“Great job, you two!”

You giggled again, clapping before turning to Hoseok in delight. “Hobi, I did it! See, nothing to be scared of!”

Hoseok rolled his eyes but smiled at how happy you were. “If you say so, Y/N.”

“Mhm, now you can get a kiss!”

The smile on his face dropped into a look of despair.

With Kealoha’s instructions, Kaimana swam over to Hoseok now, popping up in front to give him a slight startle.

“Come on Hobi, let her give you some love!”

If looks could kill, you would have been on the ocean floor. But you only grinned wider as Hoseok carefully inched towards the mammal, squeezing his eyes shut as he offered it his cheek. Kaimana chirped before pressing her beak to Hoseok’s face, pulling a squeal of delight out of you as you clapped.

“Aww, what a beautiful couple!”

Hoseok’s lips turned down at your cooing, one eye cracking open to give you a glare. As soon as the dolphin removed herself, he let out the breath he had been holding. “Wow, I lived.”

“Ugh, you’re such a drama queen. It’s a freaking dolphin, not a great white.”

He gave you a baffled look. “It’s bigger than me and has teeth, that’s all that matters! Haven’t you heard of those stories where they’ve attacked people?!”

Your face fell into incredulity. “Hoseok, those are once in a lifetime incidents and they usually happen because they got provoked. Kissing them isn’t going to piss them off.”

“Oh sure, you say that now but one wrong move and I’ll-”

Tired of his complaints, you reached a hand into the water and splashed him in the face, cutting him off. He sputtered and spat out what got into his mouth, glaring at you through wet, dark strands. “Hey!”

“Okay you two, enough bickering! Now comes some more fun!” Momi grinned. “I hope the two of you like to dance, they have a lot of energy they want to get rid of today.”

You reached out and smacked Hoseok in the arm. “Hobi, you like to dance, you should be excited for this!”

“I like to dance with humans, not dolphins!”

All you could do was sigh. “Shut up and get ready to dance with her, Hobi.”

His response was to flip you off before turning reluctantly towards the expectant animal. He swallowed hard at the dark eyes staring at him, trying to remain steady even though he wanted to jump out of the water. Kealoha motioned him to get ready, prompting Hoseok to take a deep breath as the dolphin brought its upper body above the surface, its belly facing him while its flippers were held out. He reached out with unsteady hands to hold them, trying not to slip off the rubbery skin.

Kealoha held up his whistle. “Ready?”

Hoseok swallowed once more. “R-Ready.”

“And—“ The whistle blew. “Dance!”

Kaimana began chirping in rhythm with the Momi’s claps, gyrating its body and splashing water around. Hoseok flinched a bit at first but eventually began moving in time with the animal, his face relaxing into curiosity. Shooting you a look, you beamed and gave him a thumbs up in encouragement. He turned his head back to Kaimana, moving a little stronger now with a smile starting to creep onto his lips.

The sight made your heart soar; if there was one thing that could open him up, it was dancing.

Your turn eventually came and went way too fast for your liking, Hoseok teasing that you looked like a jilted lover when Kimo left. You let it slide for now, at least happy to see that Hoseok wasn’t much of a nervous wreck anymore. The encounter continued for a while, from feeding the dolphins to swimming with them and watching them perform flips in the air until all too soon, Kealoha and Momi announced that the four of you would have to part ways.

“I hope the two of you had a great time with Kimo and Kaimana, they really seemed to like you!”

You smiled sweetly, giving the mammals a poignant look. “I did! Kind of sad it’s already over, though.”

Hoseok, to your shock, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, these guys weren’t half bad.”

Momi giggled. “See, I knew you’d come around! Tell you what, why don’t we have them give you both a goodbye hug before parting ways?”

There were stars in your eyes as you nodded quickly, Hoseok having a less enthusiastic yet positive response.

“Okay! Kealoha, do the honors?”

Kealoha nodded and brought his whistle up again. “Alright you two, prepare for some more love!”

With the sharp sound, the dolphins returned to the both of you, Kimo with you and Kaimana with Hoseok. Standing upright in the water, the two held their flippers out towards you and the other, prompting both of you to scoot forward and give them a careful embrace. They rested their heads on your shoulders, making you coo while Hoseok gave a short laugh.

“Aww, thank you guys for hanging out with us!”

“Yeah, you’re not as scary as you look.”

Shaking your head at the other, the dolphins were instructed to part from the two of you but not before Kaimana snuck in a kiss to Hoseok’s cheek, making him sputter in shock. “H-Hey!”

You laughed in delight at his flustered reaction. “Aw Hobi, I think someone has a crush on you!”

Hoseok pouted with pink cheeks. “Well, I don’t think I can do long-distance or interspecies relationships so I’ll have to pass.” Kaimana chirped at him and gave him a little splash in response, swimming over to join her brother. “Hey, don’t be like that!”

Kealoha and Momi laughed along with you before they got themselves under control. “It’s okay, Hoseok, she’ll be on to the next one before the end of the day. Alright, Kimo and Kaimana, say bye to your buddies!”

The duo chirped and repeated the drive-by waving from earlier, letting the both of you wave back until they swam back out into the ocean. You and Hoseok got out of the water, drying off and redressing as you both chatted to the instructors, thanking them for everything before heading back towards the entrance. Your mouth was moving a mile a minute as you gushed about the encounter, hand intertwined with his.

“Did you see how high they jumped?! I knew they could get some air but wow!”

Hoseok chuckled. “Yeah, Y/N, I was there too, remember?”

“Oh shush, don’t make fun of me. Besides, I saw how you smiled a few times, Mr. My Life is in Danger.”

“Hey hey, come on, I came around, didn’t I?” He shook his head. “I did have a few moments of doubt but they were pretty decent, overall.”

You shot him a look of skepticism. “Mhm, decent. Don’t think I didn’t see those pearly whites of yours when you and your girlfriend were dancing.”

“Aish, why are you so mean to me? I did this all for you, you know!”

“I know—” You pulled him closer as you two walked, wrapping your free arm around him while nuzzling into his shoulder. “And for that, I’m super grateful, Hobi.”

Looking down at you, he saw the gracious smile on your face, his heart skipping at the sight for whatever reason. Not like you never expressed your thanks when he did things for you but to see the sheer joy on your face the whole time…he would swim with as many dolphins as it took to keep it on there.

He brought an arm up to wrap around your torso, giving you a gentle squeeze. “You’re always welcome, Y/N. Now come on, we’ve got some pictures to go buy.”

“What about this one, Y/N?”

Your face scrunched up at his words. . “Nah, too kitschy.”

“Kitschy? It’s a classic hula girl!”

“Hobi, I can’t give my dry, 63-year-old boss a bobbling hula girl to put on his desk!”

Hoseok frowned, putting the item back on the shelf. “Just saying, it might get the stick out of his ass if you do.”

You sighed and shook your head. “Believe me, I wish it would.”

The two of you had decided to stop in this gift shop after lunch, hoping to get some souvenirs for friends, family and coworkers. The store had a wide variety of gems, from shirts to posters to magnets and more, meaning that it had been at least half an hour since the both of you stepped foot inside. Hoseok found all but two gifts while you struggled to figure out what to get for someone as strict as your superior.

“Ooh, Y/N, look!” You turned your head to see Hoseok holding up a necklace with a small shark tooth hanging on it. “For Yoongi, you know how he’s always wearing necklaces every day.”

“Oh, that’s perfect, Hobi! I’m sure he doesn’t have anything like that, get it!”

Hoseok grinned at your approval as he put the necklace into his basket, moving on to find something for his sister now. He loved her to death but she was a hassle to buy souvenirs for (she didn’t want magnets on her fancy fridge and didn’t like to have keychains dangling around, eliminating a good chunk of his choices). But he remained optimistic as he went over to the other side of the shop, eyeing some figurines that a woman was studying. Once he got up close, his mouth popped into an ‘O’ shape. The figurines were all made of glass and of various shapes, a slight translucence to the statues as they gleamed in the lighting.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?”

He blinked as the woman next to him spoke, shooting him a smile.

“O-Oh, yes, they are.”

“You know—” She showed him the figurine in her hand, a wave crest with a surfboard sticking out the middle of it, colored with multiple shades of blue and green. “These are all made by a local glassmaking family.”

“Really?”

She nodded, her curls bouncing in time. “Mhm. They’ve been doing this for generations and made a deal with the resort to sell these here for a good profit. Even after the resort takes a cut, the family still gets a solid amount of money for themselves.”

Hoseok’s mouth opened again in wonder at the information. “Wow…that’s nice that a local business is getting support. Especially for a place like this, I’m sure they’re making bank!”

“They are! Especially thanks to people like me—” A giggle left her. “I must have bought about five of these since I started coming here a couple of years ago!”

“Oof, a repeat offender? I’m sure they’ve got you on a watchlist by now.”

The woman laughed at Hoseok’s ribbing, straight teeth peeking behind glossed lips. “I hope not, I’m still putting my collection together!”

The other laughed along with her before holding a hand out. “Sorry, I’m being rude. I’m Hoseok.”

She took his hand in hers before shaking it. “It’s nice to meet you, Hoseok. I’m Gisele.”

Hoseok nodded, letting go of the woman’s soft hand. Gisele was about average height with tanned skin, curly black hair and a dazzling smile. He couldn’t help but admit that she was a gorgeous girl, fighting back the urge to go into flirting mode after remembering that you were on the other side of the shop. What kind of friend would he be if he abandoned you to go chase skirts?

“So you said that you’ve been coming here for a couple of years?”

“Yes, I usually come around this time. Only time I can get vacation, honestly.”

Hoseok shrugged. “I hear that. This was kind of last minute for my friend and I but we really needed to get away for a little while.”

Gisele’s lips quirked. “Of course, you can’t work yourself to the bone. Is your friend here with you?”

“Mhm! She’s over there looking for souvenirs too.”

He pointed over to where you were standing currently, perusing a stand with keychains. Gisele hummed as she studied you. “Ohhh. She’s cute. Just your friend or…?”

Hoseok nearly squeaked at her suggestive tone. Why did his face heat up at her question?

“O-Oh, yes! She’s not my girlfriend or anything, haha…doubt she’d ever let that happen.”

Gisele chuckled at his jumpy response, batting her hand. “Relax, I’m just teasing!”

Hoseok’s nerves eased at her laugh, trying to ignore the odd feeling he had gotten in his chest as she mistook you for his girlfriend. He seriously could not see you considering him as an option, seeing how difficult it was to even get you on board with the current arrangement. Sleeping together did not equal a relationship.

You pulled a keychain off the spinning rack, smiling cheekily at the fire breather and the funny saying on it. This would be perfect for your coworker Adora. Adding it to your basket, you looked up, surprised to see Hoseok nowhere near you. You peeked around to see him on the other side, talking to a woman. They were in front of a wall full of figurines, one of which was sitting in her hand. Maybe she was telling him about the ornament. You shrugged and continued to search for a gift for your boss in the meantime.

A sound of success escaped your mouth when you found a nice paperweight for him, a simple rectangle made of wood with Hawaii’s national flower inlaid in copper. Finished with your shopping, you looked over to Hoseok again, frowning a bit as you saw him still in the same spot as before. He seemed to be pretty engrossed in whatever conversation he was having with that woman, smiling and nodding along frequently. Your grip on your basket handle tightened unconsciously as you stared at the duo for a little longer. You shouldn’t have been watching them like a creep but you couldn’t help but wonder just what Hoseok’s intentions were…

Blinking, you jumped as you realized just what the hell you were doing.

Way to be invasive.

Shaking your head at yourself, you decided to purchase your items while the Hoseok was occupied. Approaching the counter, you gently cleared your throat to catch the attention of the worker whose broad back was turned to you. They quickly spun around, shooting you a pearly grin.

“Sorry about that, miss! Are you ready to check out?”

“Don’t worry about it. I am!”

Placing your basket onto the counter, the worker began taking each item out of it, studying them for damages. “Wow, you made some excellent choices here today.”

Your lips quirked. “Ah, thank you. I would hope I did after I spent nearly an hour going in circles.”

The man laughed heartily, eyes crinkling. “Well, don’t worry, you did great.”

You couldn’t help but let out a dramatic sigh of relief. “Thank God. I just hope the people I got these for will appreciate them.”

“Oh stop, it will be fine.”

Meanwhile, Hoseok was studying a figurine of a beach with a palm tree with Gisele, getting her opinion on it.

“I think it’s a nice choice for your sister! If not that one, then the hibiscus would work too.”

“Hmm…maybe I should just get both. I honestly can’t pick!”

Gisele hummed in thought. “If you’re comfortable with that, then go ahead. Maybe you can give it to someone else back home.”

“Yeah, true.” Hoseok seemed to remember you all of a sudden, head whipping up to look around. Not seeing you in your spot, he frowned. “Where did she—Oh.”

He paused when he saw you at the checkout counter, conversing with the worker while he rang you up.

“I guess I should hurry up and buy my stuff.” Hoseok gave Gisele a grateful smile. “Thank you again, Gisele, I probably would have still been standing here like a dope if it wasn’t for you!”

The woman returned the look, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Not a problem, Hoseok, happy to help! Go join your friend, maybe we’ll run into each other again before we leave.”

“Heh, that would be nice. Have a good one!”

Giving her a wave, Hoseok picked up the two figurines before heading over to the counter, a pep in his step. Just before he approached you, he heard the man speak to you.

“Are any of these for your boyfriend?”

“Oh, no no, I don’t have one. These are for my friends, family and coworkers.”

A look of surprise came onto the worker’s face. “Really? Pretty lady like yourself came here alone?”

Hoseok’s smile couldn’t help but fade at his words..

“No, I’m here with my friend. He actually seemed preoccupied looking for his own souven—” Your head turned, jumping when you saw the person you were about to look for a couple of feet away from you. “Oh, Hobi! All done?”

He did his best not to look like he was eavesdropping, brightening his smile while holding up his basket. “Yup! Sorry I kept you waiting.”

“Pft, don’t worry about it.”

With your reassurance, you looked back at the worker again, continuing to make small talk as he rang up the rest of your purchases. Hoseok was a little on edge though he didn’t know why. It was getting noticeable that the man was flirting with you a bit, often giving lingering gazes into your eyes or complimenting you on the choices you made. Hoseok couldn’t really tell if you were being polite or flirting back; he hoped that it was the former.

“Alright Hobi, you’re up!”

Hoseok was so deep in his thoughts that he nearly missed you calling him, quickly setting his basket down for the man to ring him up. Now he was absolutely sure this guy was hitting on you, his interactions with him just as friendly but with a lack of attention like before. It really shouldn’t have been his business if he was but he couldn’t shake the annoyance in his gut at the thought.

“Okay, you’re all set, sir!”

He did his best to smile at the other, taking his bag with a nod. “Thanks man.”

“Not a problem. The both of you, have a good day and thank you for coming to our shop!”

You gave the worker a wave before walking out with Hoseok, jiggling your own bag with a grin. “We made out pretty well, huh?”

The weight in his chest seemed to alleviate with your expression, leading to his own smile. “We sure did! Wait until I show you what I got Ji-woo.”

The two of you continued talking about what you bought on the way back to the room. Those odd feelings that had come up were pushed to the side, each of you considering that it was a one-time thing that didn’t require further scrutinizing. You weren’t going to let them ruin your vacation.

The sun was shining. The air was clear and refreshing. The sounds of the waves from the nearby beach carried over to your eardrums, providing you with a guaranteed sense of relaxation.

So why were you sitting out on the balcony having an internal crisis?

Just the view alone should have erased your troubles but white sands and blue skies just weren’t enough today.

After breakfast, Hoseok had checked his email, only to groan when he found a message asking him to call his assistant for something important regarding work. Excusing himself with an apologetic smile, he went into his room, leaving you all by your lonesome. You took this as a perfect opportunity to collect your thoughts, moving outside to sit on one of the wicker chairs in hopes that the change in atmosphere would clear your head.

It didn’t change a damn thing, you were still left feeling lost.

Sighing, you leaned back in your seat, crossing your legs and bouncing your slippered foot. Things had felt…weird, to say the least.

It was like your relationship with Hoseok had been sitting in an odd spot ever since the two of you began sleeping together. The first couple of days were fine, the both of you bickering and having a good time like usual, sprinkled in with a few wandering hands and sly smiles that led to a romp in bed. But something seemed to shift in the dynamic by the third day. Hoseok was a little more attentive to you, in and out of sex. It wasn’t even limited to just him cleaning you up or making sure you were taken care of. His hands seemed to hold your own more often and he was often pulling you into embraces that lasted longer than was necessary.

Which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t terrible. It was Hobi, who could say no to affection from the energetic man?

But the issue lied in how well you were reciprocating his actions.

His touches always brightened your day but recently, you’ve been left with an odd feeling in your chest. Your heart would beat a little faster at having his warm body on yours. Hell, the other night, the two of you had been lounging on the couch after dinner when he began massaging the legs that had been lying on his lap, unprovoked. Feeling his lithe fingers run over your exposed skin left goosebumps on it and a familiar sensation between your thighs. You must have shifted around too much as he eventually looked up at you, a knowing smirk on his handsome face. You weren’t too far gone that you let him take you on the couch, asking to move the activity to his bedroom instead. The housekeepers already had enough to deal with.

So now you were left to decide on what to do to keep things from escalating.

After some time, you came to an idea but it wasn’t one you were particularly fond of. Did you really have a choice though?

As soon as you decided, you heard the glass door behind you slide open, turning around to see Hoseok walking through.

“Hey Hobi. How did it go?”

He plopped into the chair next to you, resting his elbows on his knees as he shrugged. “Smooth, surprisingly. Cha-yeong couldn’t find the right files but it was kind of my fault, I forgot to move it back to its proper location after I copied everything to my hard drive. Just gave her directions and it’s smooth sailing now.”

You smiled with a nod. “That’s good!” Now seemed like a better time than ever. “Hey, uh, since you’re here, do you mind if we talk for a bit?”

Hoseok blinked but nodded anyway. “Sure, not like we don’t already talk. What is it?”

Taking in a deep breath, you collected yourself before turning the chair to face Hoseok better. Here it goes.

“Hobi…you know I love you, right?”

Of course he gave you that sunny look. “As much as you can love someone who you call a pain in your ass most of the time, yes.”

His bit of humor eased your nerves (or maybe it made it worse, knowing he wasn’t going to be beaming after this). “Right…well, I’ve been thinking…”

Hoseok leaned forward in his seat. “You’ve been thinking…?”

“I’ve been thinking that—” You swallowed and forced yourself to look into his eyes. “Maybe we should, um, tone it down?”

“…tone it down on what?”

Your foot bounced faster. “On, well…touching?”

It was clear that you didn’t get the message across with how Hoseok gave you a bewildered look. “Y/N…you’re going to have to be more specific because I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“I—” You pointed your hands at him, hoping it would give you some strength. “I think we should tone down the touching outside of the bedroom.”

Hoseok seemed to understand what direction you were going in but his face still seemed to be lost. “Y/N, what is that supposed to mean? Like…you don’t want me to hug you anymore?”

“No, I mean— Hugging is fine, I like your hugs! I just think maybe we should dial it back a bit?”

Your heart twisted at the way Hoseok seemed to deflate a bit. “O-Okay…is that all?”

“Um…” You bit your lip. “No, there’s one more thing.” The way he braced himself made you feel awful but you pushed on. “The hand holding…it needs to ease up.”

“Huh? But we always hold hands!”

“I know but—” You were pulling things out of your ass like crazy. “Don’t you think people will get the wrong idea?”

Hoseok’s brows furrowed. “The wrong idea? What, like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Yes, like that.”

Hoseok became quiet, looking down in thought. Just when the silence was about to become uncomfortable, he redirected his gaze to yours. “Okay, Y/N. If you don’t feel comfortable doing all of that, then I’ll respect your wishes. But now I have to ask something.”

“What’s up, Hobi?”

He looked a bit troubled now, sucking in his lower lip before asking, “Does that mean…you want to stop this whole thing we have going on?”

Your body tensed at the thought. Of course he would think that was the next natural course of action. If you didn’t want somebody to touch you platonically, why on Earth would you want them to touch you sexually?

“Actually…we can keep it going.”

Shock marred Hoseok’s features, blinking rapidly at your words. “R-Really?”

“Mhm. I mean, I did promise you the whole week, didn’t I?”

Your teasing seemed to lighten the mood a bit, the other chuckling. “You did but I won’t pressure you if you don’t want to.”

“Seriously Hobi, it’s fine. Are we cool with the rest of the requests, though?”

Hoseok nodded. “We are.”

You shot him as bright of a smile as you could, even if you were feeling dim on the inside. “Thank you, Hoseok.”

He was about to reach out and take your hand in his, stopping himself at the last second to grip onto the armrest instead. “You’re welcome, Y/N. Oh, I know we just ate but I wanted to go back to that café we went to yesterday, want to join me?”

Your eyes sparkled at the mention of the café, the two of you spending nearly an hour in there tasting different coffees and drinks. “Sure! Think the workers will remember us?”

“I would be surprised if they didn’t, we ordered so many samples! They probably hate us by now.”

You giggled. “I doubt it, they were pretty happy to talk to us about everything and we did leave that big tip behind.”

“True, true.” Hoseok rose from his chair and stretched, elongating his long body further. “If you’re not ready in twenty minutes, I’m leaving you behind.”

“Hey!”

He missed the swat you directed at his thigh, grinning deviously as he disappeared back inside the suite, leaving you alone with the scenery once again. A deep sigh left while you ran a hand through your hair, loosening the messy ponytail in the process. You did it. You told him directly about what you wanted and it blew over well, all things considered. Hoseok seemed to take it in stride, agreeing with minimal hesitation and going about his business like nothing happened.

So why did you feel like an absolute asshole?

Nothing eased your nerves better than letting loose in a room full of gyrating bodies stacked on top of each other.

As soon as you and Hoseok stepped into the club, the pounding of the bass and the incessant chatter started washing away all the worries that had been plaguing you. It seemed to have the same effect on him as well, his face brightening into a blinding grin as his body automatically began moving to the current beat. Part of the reason you had convinced him to come with you was to make it up to him for the conversation you both had earlier that morning.

Although he agreed to your requests, he seemed to have trouble adjusting to them. You caught him reaching for your hand more than once or forcing himself to pull away from the couple of hugs he had given you today. And then he had his hands shoved into the pockets of his vest the entire walk here; maybe you shouldn’t have worn a shirt with such a low back.

The poor man was struggling.

Pulling him down a bit, you spoke in his ear loud enough for him to hear. “You want to get drinks first or head to the floor?”

Hoseok didn’t even have to think about his choice, taking your hand and dragging you towards the dancefloor. You let out a laugh as you let Hoseok lead you to an open spot before turning to face you, starting to move his hips with the music. You joined him quickly, mouthing along to the lyrics while getting in tune with the beat. It was a pretty lighthearted song but of course, there were people who were hearing something else as they were practically dry humping each other.

Hoseok must have caught you staring at them as his lips brushed against your ear, teasing, “Don’t act like you don’t do the same thing sometimes.”

Your cheeks flushed as you pouted up at him. “Yeah, to the appropriate songs, not to a song about getting wasted with your friends because you dumped your shitty ex!”

“Whatever you say, Y/N!”

Giving him a gentle shove, you shook your head at his boisterous laugh and continued dancing, trying to avoid getting elbowed in the face or having your toes stomped on. After a few songs played, you were about to drag Hoseok to the bar for drinks until another familiar song came on, making you freeze in place. It was an old one from your childhood that you had no business listening to back then but it still hit the same from the first note. Looking up at Hoseok, you noticed him looking at you vigilantly.

Tilting your head, you watched as he stepped a bit closer, dark eyes boring into yours.

He held a hand out to you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “One more?”

Swallowing as the mood started shifting thanks to the music, you nodded slowly, placing your hand in his for the first time today. His face lit up before he wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you into his body. Wasting no time, he guided both hands to rest on the small of your back, the heat of his palms like fire on your skin.

Baby, how you doin'? Hope that you're fine

Want to know what you got in mind and I

Got me feenin' like Jodeci, girl I can't leave you alone

The two of you began moving to the beat, hips swaying slowly together. Realizing that your hands were just hanging by your sides, you slid them up to rest on his chest, doing your best to ignore the firmness underneath the cotton of his white tee. How the hell was it that Hoseok looked stunning in a denim vest, plain shirt and jeans to match? If any other man attempted such an outfit, he would look like a tool. Just another reason to add to his allure.

'Cause once you get inside, you can't change your mind

Don't mean to sound impatient but you gotta promise baby, oh

Hoseok was trying his best not to stare at you but even the darkness of the room couldn’t hide how dressed up you were tonight. Your hair fell in loose waves around your made-up face, the gloss you had on making your lips more pronounced. Those didn’t compare to your outfit though, a strappy black top with a low neckline and an even lower back and a sequined skirt that flared out from your thighs a bit. His jaw nearly dropped when you had stepped out of your room earlier and he had to force his hands to stay in his pockets on the way over. It was a struggle to not want to rest one on the curve of your back.

Tell me again (tell me again, my baby)

That we'll be lovers and friends (oh, I gotta know baby, oh yeah)

The lyrics of the song were starting to sink in, leaving you with a feeling of dread in your chest. As much as you loved this track, what were the odds that this would play while you and Hoseok were dancing? God must love to play cruel pranks.

Sometime wanna be your lover, sometime wanna be your friend

Sometime wanna hug you, hold hands slow dance while the record spins

Hoseok wasn’t faring much better, resisting the urge to turn the dancing up a notch like the two of you usually did. After what you asked of him this morning, wouldn’t that be counteractive? But it was a challenge to fight against turning you around and pulling your ass up against his crotch, grinding to the tunes and forgetting about the other bodies moving around you. Before all of this happened, he wouldn’t have to worry about getting aroused (at least, not too much) and wanting to drag you to the bathroom for a quickie. But now, things were different.

Why you, got me so messed up?

I don't know but you gotta stop trippin'

Be a good girl now turn around and get these whippings

Up until now, you had been keeping your eyes locked onto Hoseok’s long neck and the thin chains hanging from it to keep some type of composure. You could practically feel the way he was staring you down though, sure that if you returned the look, you might end up doing something inappropriate to him on this dancefloor. Just the thought of what passed in your mind made your face heat up, your fingers digging into the cotton underneath them.

Thankfully (or all too soon), the song segued into something a little livelier, bursting the bubble of sensuality around you and Hoseok. Blinking as you broke out of your trance, you looked up to see the same expression of awareness on his face. Biting your lip, you stepped back as soon as his hold loosened, sliding a hand down to hold one of his.

You had to clear your throat before speaking. “Are you, um, thirsty?”

Hoseok nodded a little too quickly for his liking. “Y-Yeah, I’m parched. To the bar?”

You nodded and started leading the way to your previous destination, releasing his hand once the two of you found a spot to squeeze into at the counter. “What do you want, Hobi?”

“Get me a daiquiri!”

Giving him a thumbs up, you shouted your order to the bartender once you caught their attention. After a bit of a wait, you received the drinks, handing Hoseok’s glass to him. “Thanks Y/N. Oh look, a couple of seats opened up over there!”

Hoseok pointed to the corner of the counter after he spotted two people leaving the stools. He practically ran over to plop down on one of them, holding his free hand over the other one to save your spot. You laughed once you arrived, climbing onto the seat while balancing your glass.

“Hobi, I don’t think I’ll lose my seat that fast but thanks anyways!”

“You never know, Y/N. Remember that one club in Busan?”

Your face scrunched at the memory. “Ugh, don’t remind me. Can’t believe I almost got socked by a drunk girl for a damn stool.”

Hoseok shrugged. “At least your clothes stayed intact, it took forever for me to get the stains from that Mai Tai out of my shirt! Did that guy really have to throw his drink on me?”

“People are crazy, dude.” You held your glass up towards him, receiving a tap of his own against it.

“Hear hear.”

As the two of you sipped your drinks, you did your best to have some type of conversation, despite the booming music (it was a little quieter over by the bar, at least). In the moments of silence, you and Hoseok looked out over the crowd to people-watch. Between the strangers grinding on each other and the people who were nearly tripping on their own two feet from being under the influence, you were almost content to just do this for a little longer. But then a woman walked by the two of you, your eyes following her for a bit as she seemed to be familiar…

Once she turned around, your grip tightened on your drink.

It was that woman who Hoseok was talking to at the gift shop yesterday.

Glancing from the side at your friend, it seemed like he didn’t notice her yet. A part of you was oddly happy about that.

Your face screwed up in surprise at the thought.

Why should you be glad? Weren’t you the one who told Hoseok to cut back on the affection? Maybe he could direct that energy towards someone else…

It took everything in you to fight that twisting in your stomach at what you were about to do.

Tapping Hoseok’s shoulder, you leaned in and pointed towards the woman. “Hey, isn’t that your friend over there?”

“Friend?” He looked confused until he followed your finger, brows raising in recognition. “Oh, her!”

“Why don’t you go say hi?”

Hoseok’s head whipped around to look at you with surprise. “A-Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you on your own if you’re not comfortable…”

You rolled your eyes a little too hard. “Come on, Hobi, I’m a big girl, I can handle myself. Go.”

With a shoo of your hand, Hoseok shot you a sunny grin, giving your knee a squeeze before hopping down to make a beeline for the woman. “Gisele!”

Gisele frowned, wondering who would be calling her name until she turned around, eyes widening at the tall figure behind her. “Oh, Hoseok! How are you?”

“Can’t complain. It’s nice to see you again!”

“Same to you!” Her head tilted towards the middle of the room, curls bobbing. “Would you like to dance for a bit?”

Hoseok nodded with an eager smile. “Of course!”

“Excelente! I hope you can keep up, my partners tonight have been lacking so far.”

“Hmph, don’t worry, I’ve got fast feet.”

Gisele grinned at his confidence, taking his wrist into her hand before dragging him through the crowd of bodies.

Meanwhile, you continued to sit at the bar, trying not to watch Hoseok and his friend like a hawk. You were the one who encouraged him to talk to her so you had no right to be on his every move. You remedied this for a little while by turning to face the bar, enjoying the rest of your drink while scrolling through your social media. Liking and replying to a few comments on your recent vacation posts, you sipped your drink until there was nothing but ice cubes left in the glass. Pouting, you called the bartender over for a refill, shooting them a smile in gratitude. Putting your phone back in your bag, you figured enough time had passed for you to turn around and see what Hoseok was up to.

Swiveling your chair with your glass in hand, you wished you hadn’t done that when you spotted him.

Hoseok was somewhere in the middle with that woman, dancing energetically with her. They weren’t close enough to count as dirty dancing but it was enough to give you pause, your drink hovering in midair. But he looked like he was having a blast, his perfect teeth on full display as he threw his head back and laughed with the woman.

You couldn’t be mad, the guy loved to dance.

Shaking your head to clear it, you turned back around to mind your own business.

“Goodness, you weren’t joking when you said you have fast feet!”

Hoseok laughed at Gisele as she caught her breath. “Told you! You’re not so bad yourself!”

“Aw, thank you!” She turned her head and spotted an open spot on the wall, motioning to it with her thumb. “Why don’t we go take a break over there?”

“Lead the way.”

Gisele nodded and took his wrist once more to bring him to the spot, leaning against the wall with a sigh of relief. “Much better. So, did you come here with your friend?”

“I did but she spotted you and told me to go talk to you.”

The shorter woman blinked in surprise. “Really? I guess she saw me in the shop yesterday…”

“I guess.” Hoseok gave her a sly grin. “What about you? Found anyone ‘special’ to leave with tonight?”

“Haha, not at all! I just came to have a good time, honestly, not very concerned with hooking up with anybody.”

He nudged her with his elbow playfully. “Hey, nothing wrong with having fun, right?”

Gisele smiled back at him. “Agreed.”

Your eyes had no business searching the crowd of writhing bodies for Hoseok but before you could reign it in, you spotted him along one of the walls, still talking with that woman. The flashing lights reflecting on his face were the only way you could make out his expressions but you often saw flashes of white from his teeth.

A little too often for your liking.

You jolted, realizing that you were holding your drink with a little more force than necessary. 

What was that? Why did you react like that just now? Hoseok beaming at others was just what he did. But if he had it directed towards a beautiful stranger, that usually meant a part of him was interested in getting them in his bed somehow. And she was definitely a beautiful stranger.

The thought made your stomach turn and your grip tighten further. You knocked back too much of your liquor, nearly choking at the amount that went down.

What the fuck was going on with you tonight? It wasn’t like he was your boyfriend, flirting with other women while you were in the same room. What right did you have to be feeling like this? 

Sure, he had volunteered to be your fuck buddy for the week but that didn’t mean he was obligated to be strictly loyal to you. He was a grown man who came to relax from his hectic life; you didn’t need to stress him out because your irritation flared whenever that woman rested a hand on his arm or he threw his head back and laughed. You should just sit back with your drink, avert your eyes from him and go find some girls to talk to or a guy to dance with. 

Yeah, that sounded like a solid plan.

So then why the hell was your hand reaching into your purse and pulling your phone out? 

The reasonable part of your brain was telling you to put the damn device away and go on about your own business but the alcohol making your fingers tingle was also prompting them to unlock the screen and send a text. You should have deleted the words you typed but your thumb pressed ‘send’ before you could change your mind. There was no way you could stay watching him after doing that, lest you look like a possessive freak. So you got up, drink in hand, and walked over towards one of the quilted red seats in the corner to plop down out of view. 

You shot a polite smile to one of the girls sharing the couch, hoping that they were drunk enough to start a conversation and provide distraction but alas, they went off for more drinks after complimenting you on your outfit. Now you were by yourself, sighing in failure. So much for that.

You didn’t expect Hoseok to even notice that you sent a message nor respond so imagine your shock when you felt your phone vibrate after a couple of minutes. Your heart shouldn’t have swelled at the words on the screen but it did.

[Hobi 😆☀️]: where are you? 

Your lips couldn’t help but turn up.

[Y/N 😙🌙]: by the corner on the couches

You received a simple reply before locking your phone again, happy that Hoseok asked for your whereabouts yet also guilty that you were resorting to such measures. But you wanted to have him as far away from that girl as possible, fearing you might end up going back to the room by yourself if you didn’t. After you sipped the last of your drink, you saw Hoseok’s lean form break through the crowd, head whipping around before he spotted you, a look of worry on his handsome face. As soon as he walked up, he crouched down to be eye level with you. “Hey, you alright?”

You swallowed down the urge to be honest, trying to feign being sickly. “Eh…my stomach is a little queasy.”

He frowned further, reaching his hand up to hold yours. “You didn’t throw up, did you?”

“Not yet…I let my drink water down before I kept at it. Maybe that food from earlier didn’t hold me up as well as I thought.”

“Damn…come on.” Hoseok stood and helped you up. “Let’s get out of here and get you something to eat.”

“Huh? What about your friend?”

He looked back in the direction he came from before returning to you, shaking his head with a small grin. “I explained to her, she understood.”

You shouldn’t have smiled as wide as you did but knowing that he went out of his way to make sure you were okay…

It made your heart warm but that shame still lingered behind.

“Okay then.”

Hoseok’s smile grew as he began leading you out of the club, keeping you close to avoid the moving bodies. As soon as the two of you stepped outside, you took the night air into your nostrils, letting it calm your nerves and the faint buzz in your veins. Hoseok gave your hand a squeeze before you both began walking down the road, passing the small groups of people lingering outside, the area getting quieter the further you went down. You couldn’t help but stay near him, your chest brushing against his arm a few times while your fingers played with his own lithe ones. The travel was silent until he broke it, words coming out in a sarcastic tone, “I thought you didn’t want to hold my hand anymore?”

At that, you jolted, eyes widening as your cheeks warmed up. Oh shit. You had completely forgotten that in the haze of everything.

“A-Ah…well, only because I don’t feel good, you know…”

Your companion looked down at you, dark eyes boring into yours with scrutiny. “Only because of that?”

Why was he looking at you like that? Almost like he suspected that you were lying—well, you were, but he didn’t need to know that. So you nodded, teeth catching on your lower lip. “Only because of that.”

“…alright.”

Hoseok didn’t give you one of his sunny smiles or even a devious smirk, simply returning your nod before facing forward again. Now, you felt perplexed at his behavior. Did he expect you to stop in the middle of the road to blab to him how you’ve been in this odd mindset since the encounter on the plane? Did he want you to confess how the excessive amount of touching in the last few days only made you skittish because you enjoyed it? Or did he want to have you admit that you feigned sickness so you could get him away from that woman because your blood burned every time she made any sort of physical contact with him?

Your grip tightened on his hand without thinking.

Maybe you should have stuck with your original plan and found a random guy to sleep with here. Anything to avoid these complicated emotions.

Hoseok brought you to a nearby buffet, the area only housing a handful of people at this time of night. You were pretty pleased to see that it was a no-frills, help yourself kind of place, able to sit wherever you wanted and only having to bother the waiters for drinks. Your appetite wasn’t exactly open so you picked up enough food to not arouse his suspicion but not too much to make you stuffed. You even offered a few bites to Hoseok, your stomach flipping at the bright little grins that came up whenever you fed him. Once you reassured him that you got your fill, the two of you headed back to the hotel room. You had asked him out of guilt if he wanted to go back to the club without you but he insisted that he was fine.

You didn’t deserve to hold his hand anymore.

The two of you got to the room, Hoseok flipping the lights on as you walked in first. As soon as he shut the door, you turned around, fiddling with the straps of your purse. “Hobi, seriously, if you don’t want to be here, you can—”

Two large hands came up to squish your cheeks, effectively shutting you up.

“Y/N, enough, I told you it’s alright.” Your pouty nod erased the miffed look on his face, turning into consolation. “Hey, if anything, we can try again tomorrow night. We can always catch up on some sleep on the flight back!”

You returned his smile as best as you could but your nerves didn’t want to let you relax. The shame was still prevalent at pulling Hoseok away. Maybe it was best if you just let him be for the rest of the night but the need to at least make it worth his while was beginning to overpower your senses.

Swallowing hard, you lifted your hands up to gently remove his own from your face, giving them a squeeze as you lowered them. Hoseok’s face fluttered with confusion, heart-shaped lips forming into a frown. But before he could say anything, you leaned up on your toes, pressing your mouth onto his. A soft noise escaped him at the contact, wasting no time in kissing you back, thumbs rubbing on your hands. The motion shouldn’t have made a pleasant warmth come to your cheeks but you had no control over it.

The kissing remained subdued for a little longer until you felt Hoseok’s tongue creep out and run along your lips, asking for entrance to be granted. You gave it to him with no pause, letting your own sound out as the muscle came in to rub against yours. He took the opportunity to pull at your hands, bringing your body flush against his, a surge of want flooding your veins now. Removing your palms from his, you wrapped your arms around his waist to rest on his back, digging your fingers into the fabric of his shirt. You felt a rumble from his chest before he placed his hands on the small of your back, running the appendages over the curve, making you shiver underneath. Your response was to jut your hips into his, feeling his fingers digging into your exposed skin. Hoseok pulled his head away, his breathing a little ragged while he looked into your eyes.

“Is there something you want from me, Y/N?”

Your tongue slowly ran over your lips, noticing how his eyes followed it. “Yeah…”

Stepping back, you placed your hands on his biceps, slowly walking him back towards the couch. As soon as he sat down, you lowered yourself to your knees, your eyes making contact with his own. Your hands slid up his arms and over to his chest, running down until they reached his pants, resting one on the front of it while the other laid on his thigh. As you expected, his eyelids fluttered ever so slightly at the actions.

“I want your cock in my mouth, sir.”

Hoseok’s eyes burned into yours, shifting into the control that you had become acquainted with. Just what you wanted.

“Do you?”

You kept steady under the weight of his stare, even as his hand came up to hold your chin with his slim fingers. “Yes…”

A corner of his mouth turned up at your breathy reply. “Hmph. Well, go right ahead. Besides—” His thumb came up and ran over your bottom lip. “You need to make it up to me for ending our night out early, sweetheart.”

Swallowing as you tried not to let that guilt come back and ruin your arousal, you nodded and took his thumb into your mouth, giving it a gentle suck. Hoseok let out a small scoff at the motion, pushing the appendage further in. “Is that how you’re going to suck me, baby? That doesn’t seem very impressive…I know you can do better than that.”

Raising a brow in challenge, you turned the suction up a notch, relishing in the louder sound that came from the man in front of you.

“Fuck—" He reached down with his other hand to guide the one resting on his thigh to land on his crotch, pressing it down. “Come on, get it out for me.”

You nodded, keeping up the sucking while both your hands worked on undoing his belt before moving onto his pants, opening the closures up enough for you to reach in and slip his dick out over the waistband of his underwear. He was somewhat limp in your grasp, prompting you to pull off his thumb and lean over the tip, gathering saliva in your mouth and letting it fall onto him, ripping a swear from above.

“So fucking messy…mm—”

You flashed him a smirk before taking his thumb back between your lips, continuing your early ministrations while your hand wrapped around his cock, stroking at a steady pace. Hoseok began panting softly after a minute, eyes torn between your face and your moving hand. “Sweetheart, are you teasing me?”

“Mm mm—”

You shook your head while mumbling your response to avoid confusion. Either way, Hoseok’s eyes narrowed while his other hand came up to wrap around the side of your neck (your breath hitched). “Really? Because I specifically remember you saying that you wanted my cock in your mouth, not that pretty hand of yours.”

Your thighs squeezed together at the look he gave you, not sure if you were trembling from desire or intimidation.

“Mnh—” Your mouth pulled off, leaving a string of spit connecting. “I’m sorry, sir…do you want me to take you in now?”

“What do you think?” Hoseok smirked as he ran his thumb over the pulse thrumming in your neck. “You know I don’t like being teased, Y/N, I suggest you get started soon. Or else—” His tongue ran over his lips. “I’ll have to punish you and you know I don’t like to do that.”

A selfish part of you wanted to defy him and take the punishment, happy to get some sort of attention from him and hoping it would make him forget about that woman he had been with back at the club. But you had to remind yourself that you needed to make it up to him, still feeling bad that your jealousy ruined his night of fun.

So you nodded, breaking the strand with a lick before lowering your head down to his cock, lapping at the tip with fervor.

“Oh shit—” You felt Hoseok’s hand on your neck slide up to the back of your head, tangling his fingers in the strands. “That’s it, baby…”

The recognizable taste of his precum started flowing onto your tongue, the bitterness mixing with the sweetness of your drink from earlier. You swirled the muscle around the head, eventually traveling down to run over the veins on his shaft, pausing to give a light suck every so often (the growl that he let out was rewarding). Your hand came up and hooked into his waistband to inch his briefs down further, letting his balls peek out. He did say he didn’t want to be teased but you just had to try this one thing before you took him in.

Hoseok spotted you eyeing the rest of his exposed skin and was ready to remind you about your promise until your mouth latched onto one of the weights, pulling a choked gasp from him.

“Fuck--!”

You were sure he could feel you smiling against him, his reaction just the kind you were hoping for. This was one move you hadn’t tried with him yet; you wondered whether any woman had ever done this for him before.

…There you went thinking about other women again.

Pushing that to the back of your head, you began sucking gently, reveling in the way his hips bucked a bit and his head tipped back. “Shit, sweetheart…you’re crazy…”

“Hmm—”

His hips jerked again at the vibrations, grip tightening in your hair before he gritted out through clenched teeth, “Fucking hell, stop teasing me and get my cock in your mouth…”

Seeing that he was on the verge of losing it, you pulled off and gave his balls a kiss before moving back up to the top of his length. Waiting for his head to come back up, your eyes connected with his before you started taking him between your lips, receiving a drawn-out moan in response. You heard him mumble praises as you started slowly bobbing your head on him, his hand guiding you.

“Goddamn, you look so good taking me in like this…”

Your eyes fluttered in response, tightening your lips around him as you let your spit start to coat him more, the drops sliding down until it soaked into his underwear. Bringing a hand up underneath your jaw, you gave his balls feather-light strokes with your index finger, clamping your thighs at the hiss Hoseok let out. “Shit…you’re such a dirty girl, playing with me like that—”

A moan vibrated around his cock, the need for more of his words to be spoken growing as each minute passed. Pulling your mouth off, you puffed through swollen lips and gave him a pleading look, hoping to quell the now exasperated face he was making.

“Hoseok…keep talking to me like that—Please—”

His eyes darkened further at your begging, giving your head a light push while nodding. “Get me back in there and I will.”

The dazzling smile you shot him made him break character for a second, eyes softening a mite before he guided you back down, hoping that you wouldn’t catch him slipping like that again. Thankfully, you took his dick in once more, bobbing a little faster now with his help.

“That’s it, baby…never had anyone suck my cock as well as you do…so fucking amazing—” Hoseok huffed out a laugh at the louder moan he felt from you. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you? I bet if I pulled that skirt up, those little panties of yours would be soaked through.”

You trembled at his words, your free hand clutching harder onto his thigh.

“They are, aren’t they? Goddamn, you’re a filthy little minx—” His hold on your hair tightened. “Makes me wanna fuck this pretty face of yours…”

At that, you paused (pulling a groan of disapproval from the other). That last sentence had flipped a switch inside you, picturing Hoseok snapping his hips up into your mouth until he filled it up with his come. It made you tremble in sheer lust.

“Y/N.”

His stern call of your name made you pull off him once more, quickly speaking with swollen lips. “Sir…can you?”

“Can I do what? Use your words.”

You licked off some of the spit dribbling down towards your chin. “Can you fuck my face? Pretty please?”

Now Hoseok’s persona slipped, eyes nearly bugging out as his heart-shaped mouth fell open. This was new territory for the both of you. The sheer thought of you letting him use you like that made his cock twitch visibly and his groin tighten. It seemed like you were eager for an affirmative answer so he collected himself, giving you a heated stare while playing with your hair.

“You’re such a dirty little one, you know that? I wasn’t even asking for it and yet you took it upon yourself to go that far.”

“I know, sir—” Your bottom lip caught in your teeth. “But I’m only like this for you. No other man.”

You didn’t mean to go that far with your honeyed words but the truth had a funny way of slipping out in vulnerable moments. Either way, the man in front of you seemed to enjoy it, chuckling hazily. 

“I feel so special, sweetheart. Fine, I’ll give it to you since you’re practically gagging for it.” 

Try as you might, you couldn’t hold back the beam you gave him. “Thank you, sir.”

“Of course, love. One thing though—” He gave you a stern look. “You remember the hand gestures for the safe words, right?”

It took you a bit to recall them but once you did, you gave him a confident nod.

“Good. Now—” His free hand came down to wrap around his spit-coated dick, leaning it forward before tapping the head on your lips. “Get my cock back in there.”

Giving it a kiss, you wasted no time replacing him in your mouth, stopping halfway down. Looking up at Hoseok, you gave him a thumbs-up. Biting on his bottom lip, he readjusted his grip on the back of your head while pulling his hips back, rolling them forward in order to start a steady rhythm. Your hands went to hold onto his knees in order to balance yourself as he began using your mouth, groans and swears filling the room. 

“Oh shit– Damn, baby, your mouth feels fantastic like this…”

A visible shiver ran through your body but Hoseok was too occupied to notice. Your arousal was climbing and climbing the longer his cock drove in and out of your mouth, your panties flooding with wetness. This wasn’t something you did very often with your previous partners, their movements too harsh and catastrophic for you to get even a smidge of enjoyment from it. But when it came to Hoseok, his hips moved fluidly, almost as if he was focused on making sure that you were as comfortable as possible. 

“Are you having fun down there, sweetheart?”

Your eyes flew up to see Hoseok giving you an almost feral smile, his lifted cheeks tinted with red.

“You must be in heaven right now— ngh — Having your mouth full of my cock, hm?”

The only way you could respond was with a loud moan around him (pulling another swear out of him).

“Was that a ‘yes sir’, baby?”

You shot him a wink while wiggling your bottom, smiling at how a growl escaped through his gritted teeth and his gaze became more heated.

“Fuck–”

Hoseok sped up his hips, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut at the change in pace, his balls now slapping gently against your chin. You were managing with it for a good while until he began going deeper, the tip starting to hit the back of your throat repeatedly. Although you were no stranger to deep throating, having a dick slide into your throat was different than having your gag reflex triggered over and over again. After a couple of thrusts made your eyes water and brought the urge to heave, you instantly brought a hand up to hold two fingers up near Hoseok’s face. With no hesitation, he swore and pulled back, changing the depth to something easier on your throat.

“Sorry, sweetheart…”

You patted his thigh in gratitude, your vision clearing up now. He managed to keep a pace that worked for you until he started going off-beat, panting harder as his climax approached. “Damn, I’m close—“

There were practically stars in your eyes when you looked up at him. Just what you were aiming for.

Making sure that his attention was still on your face, you snuck your hand back up to his balls, pressing two of your fingers this time to give firmer strokes to them. 

“Oh God—!”

Hoseok’s exclamation came with a sharp buck and a stronger hold on your locks, making you wince slightly. You pushed through it to keep up the motions, the desire to make the man in front of you fall apart overpowering the discomfort. After another minute passed by, you felt his body tremble underneath, his voice coming out strained immediately.

“B-Baby, I’m coming– ah– You gonna swallow every drop like a good girl?”

You raised your brows up at him, hoping that got the message across. It must have as Hoseok froze, letting out a choked gasp before his cock twitched strongly in your mouth, followed by his seed filling it up. His eyes were squeezed shut while his lower lip turned white underneath the pressure of his straight teeth, the expression recognizable yet enough to make your heart warm. As soon as his body began relaxing into the couch, you carefully pulled off, keeping your lips tight to keep what was inside from spilling. Once Hoseok’s eyes were open, you caught his attention by staring up at him, receiving a weak tilt of the head.

“Yes, love?”

With a quick smile, you opened your mouth, showing him the pool of come in there. You had to hold yourself back from laughing at the awestruck expression on his face.

“Y/N…”

Letting him take in the sight for a little longer, you closed up and made a show of swallowing audibly, sticking your tongue back out. 

Hoseok broke out of his trance with that, grinning lazily as he reached down to wipe some spit off of your chin. He tapped your puffy lips with his thumb before speaking, “Such a good girl…thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome, sir.”

He beamed at you before a chuckle left him. “Wow…if I knew you were going to do that, I would’ve left the club earlier.”

And just like that, you were reminded of what you had done. You caught yourself from letting your smile falter completely, forcing the muscles to continue working to avoid worrying the other. Hoseok was most likely in the moment when he mentioned you making it up to him for that but deep inside, that was the main reason you had practically put on a show for him before. He was just having a good time and you let your unnecessary jealousy ruin his fun.

Some friend you were.

“Well, wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if I told you, right?”

“Heh, you’ve got me there.” His hand went to cradle your chin now, lids lowering a bit. “You want me to take care of you too, baby?”

You swallowed at the look housed in his eyes, your body reacting to the request with a shiver and a reminder that your underwear was on the verge of dripping. But the guilt prevented you from allowing yourself the pleasure of saying yes. You didn’t deserve his hands on you after all of that.

“No…I’m fine.”

Hoseok gave you a look of skepticism, confident that what you had done left you in need of a release as well. “Y/N, are you sure? Really, I don’t mind, it’s—”

“Hobi.” You brought your hand up to wrap around his wrist, leaning into his hold with a false grin. “It’s okay, don’t worry about me. I’ll deal with it, you’ve already done enough coming back with me.”

You hoped that he would drop it right there but knowing Hoseok, his face morphed into concern. “Y/N…is everything alright?”

You almost cracked. You wanted to drop the smile and tell him no, everything was not alright. These last few days had brought on a slew of emotions that you were finding yourself unable to handle, judging by your prior behavior. You usually weren’t the jealous type but seeing that gorgeous woman even standing nearby brought you with the urge to run over and take him in your arms, giving her a dark scowl that read ‘he’s mine’.

But you had no right to call Hoseok yours, at least not in the way that you may have wanted.

“Yeah Hobi, does it seem like something’s wrong?”

His mouth opened but no words came out, hesitation laid on his face. But he pushed forward, speaking with caution, “I…I don’t know, you just seem like you’ve been off these last couple of days. Is there something that you want to tell me?”

God yes.

“No Hoseok. I just think it might be all the constant fucking and activities getting to me, can’t remember the last time I moved around this much!”

Even you winced internally at how forcefully peppy you sounded at the end. It seemed like Hoseok didn’t want to drop the subject but he gave in to your explanation, nodding slowly while stroking your chin with his thumb. “Maybe we should call it a night. The luau is tomorrow, you’ll need all your energy for it.”

You forgot about the luau in the whirlwind of everything, blinking in surprise. “O-Oh right. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Hoseok made a sound of agreement, letting go of your face to tuck himself back into his underwear, waiting for you to scoot back before standing up. He held his hand out to you, helping you up (you tried not to feel disappointed when he immediately released your hand).

“I’m gonna take a shower before I turn in.”

You were pretty sure he knew why you were going in there so you tried not to look into his eyes too long to see the displeasure in them. All you received was a quiet ‘okay’. The two of you should have parted ways but something was keeping your feet cemented. You looked up at Hoseok to see him staring at you with that same expression he had given on the walk back. It was taking your entire being to not shuffle in place, the dark irises attempting to penetrate your own and decipher the reasoning for your demeanor lately.

But before you broke eye contact, Hoseok gave you a modest smile, bringing a hand up to ruffle your hair. “Sleep tight, Y/N.”

A lump formed in your throat, causing you to croak out, “You too, Hobi.”

Spinning around, you made a beeline for your room, closing the door before ripping off your clothes and heading straight to the shower. You didn’t even wait for the water to warm up, jumping right in in hopes that the chill would lessen your arousal. But even after ten minutes under the cold, your core was still throbbing. Reluctantly, you slid a hand down your body and between your thighs, biting your lip to stifle your moans. The stimulation helped bring you closer and closer to a release but you couldn’t seem to hit that high, even with your usual techniques. Your brain scrambled for a solution but of course, someone up in the sky was punishing you because fucking Hoseok popped into your mind. Before you could push him out, all of the compromising positions the two of you had been in started playing like a movie. It seemed to be just what you (unfortunately) needed as that finish line got closer and closer. And then sparks lit up your entire body, forcing you to stifle your cry as your orgasm left you trembling under the water. But all too soon, it ended and left you feeling even worse than before.

You let your tears of frustration slip out then.

Any normal human being would be well-rested after eight hours of sleep but you were the exception today. You felt like shit, head and eyes heavy with the weight of your emotional issues. It seemed like Hoseok had a rough night as well, circles underneath his eyes as he trudged out of his room, hair sticking up in all directions. You beat down the desire to take his hand and drag him to one of your beds, wanting to get some more rest before facing the world. But it was the last day of your vacation. Despite the unease between the two of you, you were determined to make the most of this paradise before returning to the real world.

And inevitably having to face whatever the hell was happening with you and Hoseok.

The both of you ordered breakfast as usual, conversation kept to a minimum as you struggled to finish your Belgian waffles. It was hard to have an appetite when you could feel the other watching you when you weren’t looking.

You managed to get all but a few bites down eventually, excusing yourself to start getting ready for whatever you were going to do until it was time for the luau. You kept your outfit simple with a t-shirt and shorts, choosing to save the dressing up for later. Walking back out into the living room, you blinked in surprise to not see Hoseok waiting for you. All week he had been the first to finish, usually shaking his head as he jokingly chided you for keeping him waiting. You should have sat and waited for him as well but your feet itched to run out of the suite, wanting to get away from the noticeable tension.

But your cowardice won as you walked off the elevator, shooting Hoseok a text so he wouldn’t worry.

[Y/N 😙🌙]: Went out for a walk, might stop by the gift shop again, forgot to get something for a friend

It was fifteen minutes before he answered.

[Hobi 😆☀️]: ok

You chewed on your lip at the two letters. Short messages were unlike Hoseok, reserved only for colleagues he disliked or times when he was too swamped with work to give longer replies. Shaking off the dread at it, you made your way to the gift shop, skimming through all of the items again before picking up a magnet and keychain (in case you did forget to buy a souvenir for someone). But that didn’t take long, leaving you standing outside the store with a paper bag in hand, tapping your foot as you tried to figure out what to do next. All of a sudden, a group of women passed by, chatting excitedly as they showed each other their painted nails. You heard one of them mention how the spa did an amazing job, prompting you to run up behind them.

“Excuse me!”

They stopped in their tracks, turning around to raise their brows at you. Clearing your throat, you asked, “Where exactly did you get your nails done?”

One of them brightened and pointed behind you. “There’s a spa down the road there, you have to pass the tiki hut and make an immediate right. A path takes you down to the building.”

Looking behind, you spotted the landmark she mentioned, nodding before giving a grateful smile. “Past the hut and down the path. Thank you. All of your nails look great!”

The women giggled and thanked you before heading off towards their own destination, leaving you to go your own way now.

Going to the spa had to be one of the best ideas you’ve ever had. Sitting there and having someone pamper your hands and feet alleviated some of the stress that had accumulated previously. You must have needed the massages on your palms as the technician questioned the last time you had one. You almost answered ‘a few days ago by your friend’ but you hold your tongue, shrugging and saying that you couldn’t remember.

Despite the slip, you walked out of the building with a pep in your step, admiring the color and shine on your nails. The visit helped you kill more meaningless time, allowing you to decide to head back to the room (even though your gut twisted at the thought). On cue, your phone began ringing. You pulled it out, biting your lip as a picture of you and Hoseok on your last birthday came on the screen. Swiping the green button, you held it up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, where the hell are you?”

You were a bit taken aback at his tone. “I just left the spa, what’s wrong?”

A sigh came through. “That’s where you’ve been? You know it’s almost 3 o’clock, right?”

Frowning, you lowered your phone, eyes widening at the time listed. Holy shit.

“Jesus, I didn’t realize how late it was.”

“Mhm.”

Hoseok still sounded irked, leading you to ask, “Is something wrong, Hobi?”

“No…I just—” He paused, speaking softer now. “I got worried. Between you leaving beforehand and not saying anything for hours…I’m just glad you’re safe.”

There went your damn heart again, skipping a beat at his confession. “Oh…I’m sorry, Hoseok. I just needed to get some air and I got distracted, honestly. I was actually about to head back right now, are you still in the room?”

“It’s okay, Y/N. Yeah, I’m still here, got caught up in answering some emails and haven’t left.”

Now your heart sank. Here you were, frolicking around while Hoseok was holed up in there, unable to completely escape from the real world even while on vacation. “Oh…do you want me to bring you anything before I come?”

The line was silent for a few seconds before you got a response. “No, I’m fine, thank you. Just get back soon, yeah?”

“Will do.”

With that, the call ended and your shoulders sagged, the stress slowly creeping its way back onto you. Shaking your head, you began making your way to the suite. Once you reached the door, you slowly opened it up before stepping in, noticing that Hoseok was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, you called out, “Hobi, I’m back!”

“In here, Y/N!”

His voice rang from the ajar door leading into his room, leaving you to follow it. You spotted Hoseok sitting on his bed, cross-legged and still dressed in his pajamas, laptop open in front of his hunched form. His eyes looked up from it when he heard you approaching, shooting you a relieved smile. “Hey.”

You gave your own back, paired with a wave. “Hey. You’re still in your pajamas?”

Hoseok sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. “Yeah, I haven't had a chance to get up and shower. By the time I realized, I figured I might as well wait until we head out.”

Your eyes traveled to his computer, pursing your lips. “They just can’t give you a break, can they?”

“Of course not. But enough about me—” His head tilted as he motioned you to come closer. “What’d you do on your little adventure?”

Walking up to the bed, you pulled out the items you bought from the gift shop and showed him. “Just got these little things.”

“Ah, nice. And how was the spa?”

Your lips quirked. “Pretty nice! I only got my nails done but they included massages for your hands and feet with it.”

Hoseok’s brows raised as his mouth popped open in wonder. “Oh? Let me see!”

You held your hands out to him, wiggling your fingers as he studied them with great interest. “Wow, looks good! I’m surprised you went and got them done, you usually avoid nail salons like the plague.”

“Well, these girls walked by and theirs caught my eye so I asked and they told me they got them done at the spa. And, I mean, I am on vacation.”

The other chuckled at your preen, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, you should treat yourself, you deserve it.”

Smiling wider at his words, you looked over at the clock on the nightstand. “The luau starts at 6, right?”

“Mhm, what are you going to do until then?”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you pondered over his question. Your usual answer would be to hang out with him (he was always the best at killing time) but considering the circumstances, you weren’t sure it was a good idea at the moment. Plus he still seemed to be deep into his work…

“Um…I think I’ll go watch some TV or something, there has to be a good show or a movie playing.”

Hoseok’s smile dimmed a bit at your answer, almost as if he was expecting you to stay with him instead. “O-Oh…I mean, if you want to watch it here, you can, you know noise doesn’t distract me.”

“No Hobi, it’s fine, I’ll get out of your hair.” Picking up your bag, you shot him an expectant look. “See you later?”

Disappointment flickered onto his face for a moment before he became impassive, giving you a short nod. “Yeah…see you later.”

Nodding back, you bit your lip as soon as you turned around and headed out of his room. It was clear he wasn’t too pleased about your decision to turn down his offer but it was for the best. At least that’s what you were telling yourself.

With the help of a couple of subpar movies and marathons, the time flew by before your alarm went off, signaling you to get ready. You got up and picked your outfit, a yellow floral maxi dress, ironing out whatever wrinkles formed during travel. Changing into the dress, you fixed your hair up into a low bun, leaving a couple of strands loose next to your face. You kept your makeup simple yet enough to make your eyes pop, giving yourself a smile in the mirror when you were done. Your emotional state might have been rough but you couldn’t tell with how you looked right now.

Slipping on a pair of sandals, you picked up your purse and took a deep breath, getting ready to face what was out there. Opening the door, you spotted Hoseok standing at the window, gazing out at the sunset with his hands in his pockets. You were going to call out to him but your breath caught at the shades of orange and pink highlighting the angles of his face. Was he always that breathtaking?

Flushing at the thought, you clutched your purse tighter and walked up to him, softly calling his name. “Hobi, I’m ready.”

Hoseok straightened up at the sound of your voice, turning around with a smile only for it to drop, his expression showing astonishment. His eyes trailed over your form, taking in the way your hair was styled, the makeup on your face, the way the dress hugged and flowed in the right places and how your nails stood out. His gaze made your cheeks heat up even more, forcing you to clear your throat to break him out of his stupor.

“All set, Hobi?”

“Y-Yeah…sorry about that, Y/N. It’s just—” Now his cheeks turned red. “You look…beautiful.”

You couldn’t help how your mouth dropped at the compliment, feeling the sincerity with the bashful way it was delivered.

“Th-Thank you, Hobi…you look very handsome, too.”

You weren’t even saying it just to pay the praise back, you truly believed that he looked sharp tonight. His black hair was parted as always, a couple of strands brushing against his forehead. He wore a black, white and beige striped button up, the top two buttons undone to show the thin gold chains below his long neck, the short sleeves showing his toned forearms and the Rolex on his wrist. He paired it with khaki dress pants on his long legs and brown oxfords on his feet.

Either way, Hoseok’s face darkened even more, those pearly whites peeking out. “Thanks, Y/N…”

Trying to calm your pounding heart down, you looked towards the hallway door. “Let’s get going?”

Hoseok nodded and motioned you to start walking first, letting you lead the way. The ride down to the lobby and the walk to the beach was completely silent. You wanted to speak to Hoseok, even if it was something as miniscule as commenting on how pretty the sunset looked or how a stray cat just ran by. But the words just wouldn’t come.

This was going to be a rough night.

Arriving at the beach couldn’t come soon enough. The two of you took in the sights, from the tiki torches engulfed in flames to the long tables covered in white cloths and the amount of people roaming around. Your mouth dropped a bit.

“Wow…”

“Tell me about it.”

Hoseok placed a hand on your back, guiding you first towards one of the tables with an open spot at the end for the both of you to sit. Pulling your chair out, he received a quiet ‘thank you’ as you sat down, taking his own seat next.

Ten minutes later, a rotund man walked onto the wooden stage set up by the water, standing out with his bright blue Hawaiian shirt and equally luminescent smile. He held a mic up to his mouth, booming out, “Aloha everyone! How are we doing tonight?”

A wave of cheers, whoops and whistles answered.

“Beautiful! I’m so happy to see all of your smiling faces at our lovely resort, I cannot express enough how grateful I am that you all chose here as your destination for paradise. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Another round of applause.

“Now, enough of my blabbing, you all came here for a good time, didn’t you? Please welcome our hula dancers!”

Accompanied by the crowd’s clapping, a group of women in grass skirts with leis came onto the stage, bright smiles on their faces. Once the music began, they moved their hips in tune with the beat, quickly enamoring the crowd. Peeking over at Hoseok’s face, you weren’t surprised to see the look of wonder on it, giggling at how his eyes were glued onto the dancers. It was hard to focus on them with the way he started beaming soon after, pearly whites showing while his head bobbed to the music.

Not long after the hula dancers finished, fire breathers took their place. They fascinated yet terrified you with the way they effortlessly shot the flames out and away from their mouths. You clutched onto Hoseok’s arm, peeking over his shoulder just in case something went wrong. He seemed to share the same sentiment, turning his head away at certain points with his eyes squeezed shut.

Thankfully, the rest of the performance went without any errors, receiving a raucous applause as a result. Now the part you were looking forward to the most arrived; the food.

The announcer from earlier invited everyone to head to the buffet, forming a large line that you and Hoseok stood in now. Turning your head, you looked up at him with a playful grin.

“Hobi, you looked like you were this close to joining the girls on stage.”

“I mean—” He puffed his chest out with a proud look. “I’m sure I could have kept up with them! Maybe I could quit and become a hula dancer…”

You laughed, giving his chest a light smack. “Yeah, okay, like you would really do that. Your dad would probably kill you if you tried it! Who’s gonna fill your spot, Ji-woo? She wants nothing to do with the company!”

Hoseok frowned at what you said, deflating. “Aw man, you’re right, I’d never hear the end of his lectures. Oh well, maybe when I retire I can give it a shot.”

“Oh yeah, wear a grass skirt and end up throwing your hip out, sounds like a genius plan.”

“Aish, you’re an ass sometimes, I swear.”

You dodged the knuckle he had aimed for your forehead, giggling. The tension between the two of you seemed to be lighter now, bringing you relief. After that incredibly awkward walk over, you were concerned that the rest of the night would be like this. Thank goodness you seemed to be proving yourself wrong.

Once the two of you got your selection of foods, things seemed to go even better as you discussed what you picked and offered to share. Some dishes brought sounds of delight while others made faces scrunch up in distaste. By the time you and Hoseok finished, your stomach was close to bursting. Sighing as you leaned back into your chair, you watched as many people got up to head to the dancefloor, swaying along to the music filling the air. Peeking over at Hoseok, he was eyeing them, foot tapping along in time. You could tell he was itching to join them but you felt that any movement would make you want to upchuck.

You tapped his shoulder. “You know, you can go up and join them.”

Hoseok turned to you, tilting his head. “You sure? Don’t you want to come along?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind but I don’t think my belly will agree right now. As soon as I’m sure this poi won’t come back up, I’ll dance with you, okay?”

That was enough to satisfy him, receiving a nod and a pat on your shoulder before he got up to walk to the dancefloor.

You watched with amusement as he got roped into dancing with a group of elderly women, nearly putting Hoseok to shame with their moves. A few giggles escaped at how his jaw dropped when one of them did a maneuver that probably should have made her knees pop.

You found yourself getting thirsty after some time, frowning when you saw that your glass was empty. Grabbing it, you got up and walked over to the bar, waiting for a bit until it was your turn. You ordered a mixed drink along with a water, turning and watching the festivities while the bartender got to work.

“Fun times, huh?”

A voice next to you caught your attention, looking over to see a man leaning on the counter next to you, shooting you an amused smile.

“Oh, yeah, this luau is something else!”

He chuckled and nodded. “Trust me, this is tame compared to the usual ones. It’s off season so there is less chaos, y’know?”

“Hmm, I see.”

“I’m guessing you’re not much for dancing?”

You shook your head. “Nah, it’s not that, just too stuffed from the food.”

He raised a brow. “Are you sure it’s not because you have two left feet?” He asks jestfully, voice light and airy.

“I don’t!”

“Really? Then why don’t you show me once you’re ready?”

You stared at the man after hearing his words, blinking as he shot you a wink. Getting a good look at him now, he was rather handsome, in a way that was different from Hoseok (why in the world were you comparing him to this stranger?). It seemed pretty clear that he was flirting with you and although you had promised Hoseok you would wait for him, you weren’t necessarily excited about being a sitting duck. Maybe you could get to know this guy some more in the meantime.

“I mean…you don’t have to leave right now.” The man tilted his head, raising a brow. “You could keep me company until I’m ready, you know.”

His mouth stretched into a smile. “If you don’t mind.”

You returned the gesture, stopping to thank the bartender as they handed the both of you your drinks. Motioning him to follow you, you led him over to your seat, sitting down with the stranger before beginning to talk. His name was Damon and he was visiting from the US by himself, as the new position at his place of work will remove most of his free time from what he had been explaining to you. He was pretty charming and fun to converse with, often asking questions about you and listening to all the activities you did during your stay. The smiles he often shot at you were warm and kind but a part of your brain couldn’t help but lament that they just didn’t hit the same as Hoseok’s did. The passing thought almost ruins your buzz but you shoved it deep into the recesses of your mind, not allowing your feelings to ruin this last night.

Hoseok almost didn’t escape from the gaggle of old women, having to lie and say that he needed to rest his feet now. Of course they didn’t believe him at first, questioning how such a young man like himself could be so tired already. But with a dazzling smile and a few kisses to their hands, he managed to worm his way out after thanking them for their time. He started heading back to his seat, only to pause a few feet away when he saw you sitting in his chair while some stranger sat in yours. Tilting his head, he figured that maybe you made a friend while you were waiting for him.

That is, until he saw the man reach for your hand resting on the table.

Hoseok took in a sharp breath at the sight, trying to hold off the irritation that was starting to creep up. However, he ultimately failed when he didn’t see you even attempt to remove the guy’s hand. His eyes narrowed as he was about to force himself to turn around and go back to the floor to let off some steam but then he saw you throw your head back and laugh loudly. The sound and view brought a wave of frustration, clenching his fists at his sides as he strode over. Your back was facing him, leaving the man to be the one to spot the tall figure walking, his face falling at the irate look on his face.

You didn’t notice Damon’s expression as you looked down to pick a flower off your dress, hearing a familiar voice speak behind you.

“Having fun over here?”

Jumping a bit, you turned and looked up, smiling at Hoseok. “Hey Hobi! All danced out?”

“Mm, kind of. Who’s your friend?”

“Oh! This is Damon. Damon, this is Hoseok, he’s the one I was telling you about.”

Damon did his best not to swallow hard after witnessing the intense gaze earlier, holding his hand out to shake. “Nice to meet you, man.”

It stung Hoseok’s tongue to share the sentiment but he shook the other’s hand. “Likewise.”

You watched the two introduce each other but you couldn’t help but feel something was off by the way Damon was acting. It almost seemed like he was wary of the other. Things got even weirder when he stood up all of a sudden, clearing his throat. “Hey, listen, it was nice hanging out with you but I should head out.”

Your face fell. “O-Oh? But I thought you wanted to dance…”

Damon almost balked at the now outraged look on the other man’s face but he managed to keep it together, shooting you another dazzling smile. “I know but it looks like you’ve got another dance partner right here! Sorry to run out on you like this, Y/N. I hope you enjoy the rest of the night and have a safe flight back.”

You gave him a small smile, nodding. “You too, Damon. Take care!”

With a wave to you and Hoseok, he took off to go back to his own table, presumably. Which left the two of you alone.

“Huh, that was weird…”

“Maybe he ate too much, I don’t know.”

Turning, you looked up at Hoseok, frowning at the nonchalant expression on his face. “Hobi…”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t scare him off or anything, did you?”

At the emphasized words, Hoseok nearly gave in and fessed up but he remained steady and tilted his head while sitting down. “No, why in the world would I do that? You seemed like you were having such a good time with him.”

Just as you were about to let it slide, you picked up on the slight sarcasm at the end, narrowing your eyes a bit. “And what if I was?”

Hoseok was not expecting you to challenge him, raising a brow with a heavier tone of bitterness. “Then good for you, Y/N.”

Now you believed he had something to do with Damon’s sudden departure, scowling a bit before huffing and reaching for your drink, taking a large sip. “Whatever, Hoseok.”

And just like that, the prior tension returned.

It remained prevalent for the rest of the luau in the way you two barely spoke to one another, not even making a move towards the dancefloor like it was promised earlier. You were growing tired of Hoseok’s behavior now, shooing away Damon like he was your damn boyfriend. What right did he have to do that? Just when you thought that you could be distracted for one night from thinking about your feelings for Hoseok, he had to go and ruin it for you.

But Hoseok wasn’t entirely proud of how he acted either. He liked to say he had a level head despite his sunny disposition, needing it to do his job properly, but that wasn’t one of his finest moments. When it came to you, he lost all reason and acted on whatever emotion was strongest at the time. He should have held back; maybe you were actually interested in getting to know the guy and he blew it. No wonder you were pissed at him now.

Once the luau finished, the two of you started heading back to the suite in silence, your stride a little faster than his. You didn’t want to walk next to him right now, making your calf muscles burn to pass his long legs. Hoseok didn’t even try to tell you to slow down, wanting to give you your space. The second the two of you entered the room, you threw your purse down on the couch before turning to face him with your arms crossed.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

Hoseok winced. “Y/N—”

“Hoseok, you scared him off for no reason! Seriously, what’s your problem?”

He had the nerve to give you a nonchalant stare, shrugging. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, all I did was say hi to the guy and then he left.”

“Don’t bullshit me!” You surprised yourself at how you raised your voice, unfolding your arms as you clenched your fists. “I know you did something, I had my back turned when you came up so he had to have seen you first. What. Did. You. Do?”

Hoseok was starting to become unnerved at how you were grilling him, your eyes blazing with displeasure. He had to fess up.

“I…I may have given him a dirty look or two but—”

You threw your hands up. “Jung Hoseok, what the hell?! It’s not like he was bugging me, you didn’t have to do that!”

“Y/N, look, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have done that, you’re right.”

Scoffing in incredulity, you shook your head. “I can’t believe you did that to Damon. What, were you upset that I was talking to someone else other than you? I can meet and become friends with others, you know.”

The use of the word ‘friends’ along with the previous statement made something in Hoseok snap as his eyes narrowed at you. “Talking, huh? That didn’t look like talking when I came over.”

Your head jerked back at the attitude in his voice now. “Excuse me? Then what did it look like to you?”

“Hah, I could have sworn you were flirting with the guy, Y/N.”

“What the—” Your anger grew. “So what if I was flirting with him, huh?”

Hoseok crossed his arms now, shooting you a stern look. “I thought you weren’t going to look for anyone else? What happened to that?”

Your jaw dropped. “I can flirt with whoever the hell I want! I didn’t say a word when that girl was all over you at the club!”

A look of confusion mixed with disbelief came onto his face. “Girl? Who, Gisele?”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “Of course you would remember her name.”

Hoseok’s eyes narrowed, stepping closer to you. “Y/N, what the hell is that supposed to mean? She’s a nice girl, why would I forget her name?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Hoseok—” Your eyes flared with resentment. “Maybe because you want to fuck her?”

This should never have gone this far. The two of you should have sat down and talked this out calmly. You regretted your words when Hoseok’s face morphed into one of pure outrage.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” His fists curled at his sides while his teeth bared at you. “What in the world makes you think I want to fuck Gisele?”

A sarcastic laugh escaped as your ire grew. “You’re kidding, right Hobi? Look at how you’ve been talking to her since that day in the gift shop! She bats her lashes at you and puts her hands on you and you don’t even push her away! How else am I supposed to take that?!”

“Y/N—” Hoseok came closer, gripping your arms as he looked into your eyes. “Listen to yourself. You make it sound like I’m cheating on you or something. We’re friends. We’re just sleeping together. We agreed that this was going to be casual and nothing more so why the hell are you acting this way? Please explain to me because I’m confused.”

Hoseok had a point but you were too blinded by your emotions to be rational, spewing out whatever came to mind.

“I…I just—” You glared up at him. “I just don’t like seeing you be reckless. What if she gives you something? O-Or doesn’t satisfy you properly?”

Something about what you were saying brought a sense of deja vu but you couldn’t put your finger on it until Hoseok’s eyes widened in sheer abashment. Before you could say anything more, he began chuckling, growing into full-blown laughter that was void of humor.

“Are you kidding me, Y/N? You’re going to use what I said to you on the plane against me? Really?”

“But is it not true? Don’t act like I’m not right!”

Hoseok’s slight grin disappeared now, his grasp on your arms tightening. “You sound like a fucking hypocrite right now, you know that? I can’t believe you’re telling me all of this.”

Your chest heaved with anger and anxiety, fearful that you would let the truth slip out to him in your frenzy. Taking in a few deep breaths, you spoke in a lower voice, “Tell me something, Hobi.”

His brow raised. “What?”

“If it’s not such a problem, then why the hell did you get upset when I was talking to that guy at the luau?” You could see his jaw clench at the question. “Huh? Can you answer that for me? Because I’m sure I know the reason why and if I’m correct, then that makes you the fucking hypocrite, not me!”

“Y/N.” His head leaned down to hover directly in front of yours, eyes blazing with a cluster of emotions. “Don’t yell at me.”

“No!” You grit your teeth, the flames of your anger burning higher now. “I’m sick of this! I’m sick of how clingy you’ve gotten and how you think that just because you’ve fucked me a few times that you can tell me what to do or who I can speak with. You’re not my goddamn boyfriend so stop acting like it! You’re my friend, nothing more, so just stop!”

You weren’t thinking properly as your mouth pushed out the first things that came to mind, your self-control slipping further and further from your fingertips the more heated you got. But you started to regret them when Hoseok’s face went from sheer anger to stupefaction and then to something that made your heart twist.

Undisguised hurt.

Fuck.

Your lividity swiftly started cooling down as your face morphed into horror at what you said.

“H-Hobi, I—”

Hoseok’s mouth tightened into a firm line as he straightened his posture but kept his hold on you tight. “So that’s why you’ve been acting weird lately.”

“Hoseok, wait—”

He stopped you with a shake of his head. “No, Y/N, I get it. I’m just a friend. That’s the agreement we made, right?”

Even if you wanted to answer, you couldn’t, the weight of your guilt crashing down on you.

“Well, I can’t stop you from doing what you want. You’re a grown woman. If you want to go fuck some random guy, who am I to stop you?”

The bitterness in his tone couldn’t be masked, leaving your stomach in knots. “Hoseok, come on, I—”

“Stop, Y/N, just stop.” Your breath hitched at the intensity of his words. “Look, you said what you said, right?”

Hoseok let go of you, feigning indifference with a shrug even though you could see the distress in his eyes. “We still have until tomorrow to leave, you know. So go. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Hell, I’m sure that guy is lingering around somewhere, maybe you can find him and let him give you a good time for the rest of the night.”

Your jaw dropped at how Hoseok was talking to you right now. How could he say this so casually? He was talking about this like your only goal on this trip was to find some stranger to sleep with, not to spend time and hang out with the man in front of you. The man who had made an offer on the plane that upturned your entire relationship and dug up feelings that you never thought to act on before that fateful day.

Maybe the two of you should have avoided the temptation.

You whispered bitterly, “We never should have done this…”

Hoseok’s brow raised at your words. “What, started sleeping together?”

When you nodded, Hoseok chuckled humorlessly. “Of course. Would have saved us a lot of trouble, huh?”

You just stared up at him in disgust, feeling the rift between the two of you widening the longer the altercation went on. You had to get out of there.

Steeling your nerves, you began walking past him, only for Hoseok to cut off your path with his body. Your blazing eyes went up to his face. “Get out of my way.”

“Y/N—“

“No!” He jolted at the increase in volume. “Just move, I-I can’t be around you right now…”

As badly as he wanted to stop you from going out in that hall, he could tell by the way your voice sounded and the way you were shaking that you were on the verge of snapping completely. So he stepped to the side, ignoring the way his stomach dropped. All Hoseok could do was watch as you picked up your phone and stormed over to the door, grabbing the knob before looking at him, eyes filled with hurt and ire.

“You’re such an ass, Hoseok.”

Twisting the knob, you flung the door open before walking out and slamming it shut behind you, leaving Hoseok alone in the room. He stared at the wood in shock, trying to figure out what he could do to bring you back. He would have run out into the hall and scooped you up in his arms, begging you to come back so the two of you could talk this out properly.

But after what he said, he wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted nothing to do with him for the rest of the trip. Or even for the rest of your life.

The sobering thought left him with a pit of despair as he cursed out loud before kicking one of the legs on the couch, his hands coming up to grip his hair in distress.

He fucked up so bad.

He walked up and down each floor, through the stairwells and in every recreational room in the building but he still couldn’t find you.

Hoseok was at his wits’ end trying to get a hold of you, his texts getting ignored and his calls going through to voicemail. His anger was pushed to the side as panic started to overtake him, fearing that something happened to you, even if it was more likely that you just didn’t want to talk to him right now. But by the seventh phone call that rang out, his temper was beginning to flare again.

“Hello, this is Y/N, I’m not­—”

“Fuck!”

Hanging up, Hoseok kicked the banister of the stairs before bounding down the rest of them to burst through the door leading out into the lobby. Stopping by the reception desk again, he spotted the older woman with graying hair who he had asked for help earlier. Resting his palms on the counter, he spoke up, “Excuse me, ma’am?”

The woman looked up from her computer, a warm smile coming onto her face. “Hello again, young man.”

“You haven’t seen her yet, have you?”

Now her smile dimmed, shaking her head. “Not yet, dear.”

Hoseok practically deflated at her answer, mumbling in a melancholy tone. “Oh…”

The receptionist gave him a sorry look, reaching a hand up to pat him in comfort. “I’m sorry, young man. I promise that I will contact you if she shows up.”

“Thank you.”

Giving her a nod, Hoseok walked over to one of the couches in the lobby, plopping down on it before holding his head in his hands. Not once while booking his ticket did he think he would be this stressed out on vacation. He prayed that you had some sense and came back sooner rather than later or else he would have to ask security to start looking for you throughout the resort.

“Hoseok?”

A familiar voice called him, making him lift his head up to see Gisele in front of him. He did his best to not look miserable, giving her a paltry smile. “Hey Gisele…how’s it going?”

“Okay…” She frowned. “But I don’t think I can say the same for you. What’s wrong?”

He bit his lip at her question, not expecting the concern on her face. Hoseok really should have told her not to worry about it, feeling that she didn’t deserve to be roped into this drama. But she kept staring him down, feet planted firmly as she waited for an answer.

“I…um—” He cleared his throat. “It’s a long story…”

Gisele frowned further, sitting down next to him. “I’ve got time.”

Now he had no choice.

Taking in a deep breath, Hoseok looked down at the marbled floor. “I…I did something pretty stupid earlier and now I’m paying the price for it.”

“What did you do?”

He shamefully relayed everything he had done, from the beginning with his offer on the flight to the argument up in the room, trying not to look at the other woman to see her reactions. Once he finished, she stayed quiet for a few minutes as she processed the situation.

“…Hoseok. I need to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

 Looking at her with hesitation, he motioned her to go on.

“That girl…she’s not just a friend, is she?”

It was the way that Gisele had said it that made Hoseok tense up. She phrased it as a statement rather than a question…was it that obvious?

To respond, he let out a dry laugh, giving her a defeated smile.

“No, she’s not.”

The woman gave him a sympathetic look, resting a hand on his shoulder. “When did you realize?”

Hoseok had to rack his brain to put a date on it. “I…I can’t say for sure but a switch flipped after we slept together. Since then, it’s like I can’t get enough of her…”

“But it’s not just physical with you…”

“Yeah. Any time she’s happy, I’m happy. If she’s upset, I do my best to make her feel better. Hell, I swam with fucking dolphins for her—” A giggle by Gisele made his lips quirk. “If that doesn’t scream whipped, then I don’t know what does.”

“That does sound like devotion right there. I can’t help but wonder if maybe you’ve always felt this way and it just took that one act for it to come to the surface?”

Hoseok let out an unsteady exhale, running a hand through his tousled hair. “You know what? You’re probably right…but I’m an idiot who was only concerned about work and chasing skirts to even stop and think about seeing Y/N as more than a friend.” His frown deepened now. “Fuck, I don’t even know if I can even still call her a friend…”

“Hoseok…”

“You should have seen the look on her face, Gisele…I really hurt her…”

A lump crawled into his throat, looking back down at the floor again. To his surprise, a warm flush made its way to the surface of his skin. 

“I had no right to say what I said to her…I won’t be surprised if she wants nothing to do with me after this—” His vision began to blur. “I’m such a shitty friend.”

Gisele noticed the way his voice choked up, frowning as she scooted closer and placed a hand on his back, rubbing gently. “Hoseok, you’re not, don’t say that.”

“But I am…” A tear slipped out and Hoseok let it drop onto the marble flooring. “I am…”

She wasted no time in pulling him into her chest, wrapping her arms around his body. With the embrace, Hoseok felt his emotions become too much, crying softly. He didn’t care at this point that he was having a moment in this public lobby, letting this woman who he had only known for a couple of days comfort him with soothing words.

This was definitely not how his vacation was supposed to be going.

The sand covering your feet was the only thing keeping you together right now.

You didn’t plan to go this far from the hotel, your feet carried you anywhere that was away from the hostility. By the time you came to your senses, you were on the edge of the beach. Deciding that this was as good of a place as any, you slipped your sandals off and held them as you walked onto the cool sand. Now you were close to the water; you would have stepped in if it wasn’t for your dress.

The silver moonlight bounced off the gentle waters in front of you and gave the beach a calming effect to help soothe your feelings. The flickering orange and yellow ember glows from the tiki torches helped illuminate the beach beautifully and still there was enough darkness to allow you to hide and not be disturbed by any passers. Regardless, it was futile as it didn’t do much to help settle you.

You never would have thought you would have spent your last night in Hawaii alone on the beach on the verge of tears. Why did you have to say yes to Hoseok’s stupid idea?

You shouldn’t have let yourself get carried away by the way he spoke to you with his velvety voice and conviction of sleeping together being a good idea. You shouldn’t have entertained his offer whatsoever. You shouldn’t have enjoyed sleeping with him to begin with and you certainly shouldn’t have agreed to keep this fiasco going for the rest of the week.

Now you have to deal with these consequences of your actions and just the thought of it made you body tremble with anger and despair

All you could do was let out a scream into the salted air, allowing your lungs to burn with the lack of oxygen.  The second you stopped, you choked on a sob, crumbling down to the sand on your knees. The tears flowed steadily down your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around yourself, rocking yourself as you broke down under the weight of everything.

Why did you have to lose control like that? You let jealousy rear its ugly head yet again and ended up pissing off Hoseok with your words. But it was clear that what you had said at the end was what had hurt him the most. The sheer look of hurt on his face was one you didn’t ever want to see again. Hell, you might have gotten your wish; you were sure he wouldn’t want to even look at you anymore after what happened.

Wonderful.

Sniffling, you came to a decision.

You couldn’t bear being awake and alone with your thoughts for the rest of the night. A stop to the bar is exactly what you needed right now. Nothing like liquor to knock you out into a deep sleep.

Standing up, you walked off the sand onto the pavement, brushing the grains off as best as you could before putting your sandals back on. Heading back towards the hotel building, you entered and made a beeline for the bar opposite the lobby. Walking through the glass doors, you were happy to see that there was only one patron at the counter, hunched over at the far end. You took a seat on the opposite end, looking down at yourself in the stronger lighting to make sure no more sand was left on you.

“What can I get you, miss?”

You looked up to see the bartender, a middle-aged man, smiling. “Ah…um, vodka straight, please.”

Either your scratchy voice or your sullen appearance gave you away as the man’s face softened, nodding before turning around to work on your drink. He took no time before setting the glass down in front of you. “Enjoy.”

You managed a tiny smile. “Thank you.”

He nodded and went back to cleaning his glasses, leaving you to wallow with your drink. Lifting it up, you knocked back a good portion of it, fighting against the burn of the liquor. You set the glass down, staring down at the ice cubes with hollowness.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the door open, the woman entering walking up to the counter with a tired look on her face. Just as she was about to take the stool in the middle, she looked over at you, eyes widening in recognition.

“Is there anything I can get for you, miss?”

She returned the bartender’s bright smile. “Cranberry and vodka, please.”

“Coming right up.”

As he prepared her drink, she walked over and took the seat next to you. You frowned as to why she would choose to sit next to you in an empty establishment..

“Rough night?”

The sudden voice made you jump, looking up and seeing a familiar face smiling at you. “You…You’re Hobi’s friend.”

“And you must be Y/N.”

“Yeah…”

The woman held a manicured hand out to you. “Gisele.”

You looked at it for a second before taking it and shaking gently. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

“Here you go.”

The bartender set Gisele’s drink down, receiving a thank you before returning to his business. She took a light sip, holding her glass as she looked at you once more. “Are you alright?”

“…is it obvious that I’m not?”

Gisele gave you a sympathetic look. “It is. You have sand on your dress and your eyeliner is smudged.”

Looks like you weren’t thorough with cleaning yourself off.

“Dammit. Well, you’re right, I’m not. I’m having a pretty shitty night, to be honest with you.”

You took another swig, setting the glass down.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

At that, your head whipped over to give Gisele a stunned look. “Why?”

“Why not? You look like you need to get some things off your chest—” She grinned. “Why not indulge in some classic girl talk?”

With her words, you studied her for a bit, gauging the sincerity in her offer. A part of you needed someone to vent to, to get some advice on the situation you found yourself in and maybe a stranger who has an outside perspective to the issue wasn’t the worst idea.

“…okay, if you’re really alright with it.”

Gisele nodded and swiveled her stool, facing you a little better now as she clasped her hands on the counter. “Go on.”

Where did you even start?

“Well…it’s about Hoseok.”

Playing dumb, the other woman raised her brows. “Did he do something to you?”

“Yeah…although, it’s kind of my fault too. But he took it too far tonight…”

Gisele motioned you to go on, wanting to hear your side of the story now.

“So, um, I’m sure he’s probably told you I was his friend and, we are but--” Your cheeks heated up. “Something happened earlier this week that kind of, um, changed things…”

She leaned in. “Such as?”

“We…” You averted your gaze. “We’ve been sleeping with each other.”

 Gisele pretended to look scandalized, mouth popping open. “Oh wow…”

“Haha, yeah…”

“I’m guessing that sleeping with him has been causing problems?”

You gave her a blank look. “You don’t know half of it.”

She raised a brow. “Then tell me,” she insisted with a smile.

After taking a long sip of your vodka, you began relaying everything to this friendly stranger, watching and listening as she nodded, oohed and ahhed at your words. By the time you were done, Gisele seemed to have a contemplative expression, silently looking into her glass for a bit.

“So he’s been acting clingy the whole week and pretty much made it worse tonight?”

“Pretty much.”

The curly-haired woman hummed, tapping her nails against her glass. “I see…honestly, it seems like he might be confused too.”

At her words, you laughed humorlessly and shook your head. “Oh yeah, because someone who’s confused would sabotage your one chance at getting to know a new face. He’s a fucking jerk, is what he is.”

You knocked back your drink with more force than necessary, only to set it down and notice Gisele giving you an odd look.

“What?”

“Y/N…do you have any idea just why he might be acting like that?”

You scoffed. “Because he’s gotten too comfortable sleeping with me and now that I want to move on, he thinks he fucking owns me.”

Gisele pursed her lips, looking down at her glass. “…I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

Your head jerked back slightly at what she said, turning your stool so you faced her now. “What do you mean ‘I’ve got it all wrong’? I’ve known the guy for years, how could I not get it right?”

“I…” She looked at you again. “I think it’s something deeper than that, Y/N.”

Now you were starting to become bewildered, wondering just what this woman was seeing that you weren’t. “Can you explain?.”

“Well, aside from his behavior from today, it seems like he’s been treating you rather well, both in and out of the bedroom.” Her lips curled while shrugging. “Sounds like a gentleman to me.”

“That’s what I figured at first but-“ You tapped your nails along your glass. “From what I’ve heard about his past flings, he doesn’t really go the extra mile for things like that, you know?”

“Huh…you know, now that you say that, it’s sounding like he’s making an exception for you. I mean, it could be because you’re good friends but…”

When she trailed off, you leaned in. “But?”

Now Gisele smiled more, her teeth peeking out behind red lips. “But most guys I know wouldn’t go through all that trouble unless they really liked someone.”

“…what are you trying to say, Gisele?”

She sighed and shook her head, taking a sip before turning her body completely towards you. “I’m saying that Hoseok might think of you as more than a friend, Y/N.”

“What?!”

Not only did Gisele jump at the sudden raise in your voice but the bartender and the patron on the other end did as well as they shot you with looks of concern and annoyance. You gave them a sheepish apology before lowering your voice to whisper. “What kind of crackpot theory is that? There’s no way he likes me like that! Not Hobi!”

The other woman shrugged, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t know menina, I’ve seen these things happen before and it’s hitting all the checkmarks on the list. The jealousy, the clinginess, trying to butt in when other guys flirt with you. How could he not have feelings for you?”

“But—“

“Y/N.” Gisele gave you a serious look. “Let me ask you something.”

Something about the way she was staring at you made you wary of what she was about to ask. “Y-Yes?”

“How do you feel about him?”

Her question made your breath hitch. Of course she was going to ask you this.

You opened your mouth but nothing came out, the words stuck in your throat. Gisele leaned her head forward, silently urging you on. Swallowing, you sighed shakily, running a hand through your hair.

“Hobi…Hobi is such a good friend of mine. I’ve known him for years and we come from different backgrounds but he’s never treated me badly. He never acted like I was beneath him because he came from a rich family and I don’t.”

“Mhm. Go on.”

“It’s refreshing, honestly. Some of the people I work with won’t even look at you if you don’t share the same income bracket but that’s not like him at all.” A giggle came out while you smiled. “You know, I remember when I got my first paycheck from this job. It was an alright amount, compared to what my coworkers were making, but I was excited. Until I let it slip how much I got at the office and a few people made snide comments. I was pretty down about it for the rest of the day until we met up and I told him what was bugging me. You know what he said?”

Gisele tilted her head. “What?”

“He said ‘don’t listen to those assholes, they probably only got their jobs because of their parents and sit around doing nothing. You got there because you worked hard and you deserve to celebrate every penny you earned’.”

The woman next to you grinned. “That was nice of him to say!”

“Right?” You looked into your glass, the ice cubes nearly melted. “He didn’t have to but…”

“But he wanted to.”

Your head lifted to give her a nod. “Yeah…I think that’s what I always liked about Hobi. He always goes out of his way to brighten your day, no matter what.”

“I see…but has anything changed about that with everything that happened this last week?”

You had to take another moment to think to yourself before answering. “…no. He’s actually been considerate most of the time to me.” A giggle escaped at what you were about to say. “I don’t know if he told you but we did this dolphin encounter because I mentioned that I really wanted to swim with them. The poor guy could have just let me buy my ticket and go solo but he insisted on coming with me, even though he was practically scared shitless to even stand near them.”

Gisele cooed, eyes crinkling at the recollection. “Aww, that was very sweet of him!”

Your smile grew. “Right? And not to mention all of the other things I’ve told you—"

It took everything in the other woman not to grin in knowing at how you paused out of nowhere. She could practically see the gears turning and the puzzle pieces fitting together on your face. But she remained quiet until you slowly looked her in the eyes, your own swirling with a multitude of emotions.

“…Hoseok does see me as more than a friend.”

Gisele continued to play innocent. “Oh, does he?”

You groaned at how she was practically encouraging you to explain. “Why wouldn’t he? After all that he’s done and the way he was acting after I asked him to cut back on the affection…how could I not have noticed?”

“And how do you feel about that?”

It took some more time before you answered but you were tired of pushing everything down. You had to say what you were feeling out loud, hoping that it would be the motivation you needed to start accepting the cause of what had been troubling you all week.

“I…” Your voice came out so low that Gisele almost didn’t hear. “I don’t mind…I’m actually happy to know that. But all of those things I said to him yesterday and today…” A hand came up as you let out an unsteady sigh, running through your tousled hair. “I’m such an asshole…”

The other woman shook her head and took that hand of yours, bringing it down and giving it a comforting squeeze. “No you’re not, you’re confused, Y/N. Having feelings for a friend is a hard thing to navigate, there’s always hurdles to overcome in order to figure them out. All that matters is what you’re going to do about it now.”

To think that this complete stranger would be giving you solid advice at a bar late at night in Hawaii. This was the kind of stuff that only happened in books or movies. But she had a point; now that you confronted how you felt about Hoseok, you needed to go and make this right.

With a firm nod, you finished off your vodka and stood up from your stool, adjusting your dress. “You’re right. I need to go talk to Hoseok and get everything out in the open. I can’t let us go back home angry at each other.”

Gisele couldn’t help the beam on her face, happy that she was able to help the both of you out tonight. Now all she could hope for was that things worked out. “Good luck, Y/N. I’m sure it will all be okay, I have this feeling in my gut.”

Returning the smile, you paused before stepping up and giving the woman a hug, cheeks warming. “Sorry for this but…thank you so much, Gisele. I guess I really needed to indulge in some girl talk, haha.”

The embrace surprised her but she wasted no time in returning it, giving your back a gentle rub. “Not a problem at all. Now—” She pulled back and gave your shoulders a grip while smirking. “Go get your man, menina.”

Giggling, you patted her hands and turned to leave the bar, a ball of nerves starting to form in your stomach. This wasn’t going to be an easy task at all but you needed to have a long and thorough talk with Hoseok so there was no confusion lingering between the two of you. Unlocking your phone, you bit your lip at the long list of texts and missed calls from him. You tapped on the latest one before starting to type.

[Y/N 😙🌙]: where are you?

It only took a few seconds for the typing bubble to pop up.

[Hobi 😆☀️]: in the room, where are you?

[Y/N 😙🌙]: downstairs, I’m coming up

Another bubble.

[Hobi 😆☀️]: ok

Your heart had been hammering since Hoseok messaged you back, letting you know that he was in the room. If it wasn’t for your dress, you would have skipped the elevator and jetted up the stairs in your haste to get there. You got lucky and didn’t have to wait long for the lift to arrive, shooting up to your floor with no stops.

It was now five minutes since you arrived but you’ve frozen on sight with the knowledge that Hoseok was right behind the closed door.

After what happened downstairs, you trusted that Gisele was correct with her deduction. But it wasn’t the possible rejection that you were fearful of. You worried that if things in your relationship took the next step, it might not work out. With how close you two had become this last week, how could you ever go back to just being friends? The potential for ruin was so high.

But you couldn’t stand here all night, not after the way you two blew up at each other before.

Breathing in for as long as possible, you exhaled shakily. Your hand lifted and gently knocked on the wood. Within a few seconds, the door opened, revealing Hoseok’s tall form, his face a mix of emotions at seeing you.

“Y/N…”

“Hey…” Clearing your throat, you did your best to look into his eyes. “C-Can I come in?”

“O-Of course…”

Stepping aside, Hoseok motioned you to enter. You walked past him into the living room, hearing the door shut softly. Everything was quiet until he spoke, “Why didn’t you respond to any of my calls or texts?”

Biting your lip, you turned around to see him closer to you now, a bothered expression on his face.

“I…I needed some time alone.”

“But you could have told me that, Y/N. Do you know how worried I was? I wandered around the entire hotel looking for you. Hell, I even had to ask the receptionist to look out for you.”

His words brought surprise to your features, taken off-guard by how extensive his search was.

“Y-You did?”

“Yes—“ He sighed and ran a hand through his slightly mussed hair. “I probably looked like a lunatic running around, I’m surprised nobody called security on me.”

Although you felt awful for pushing Hoseok to that limit, you couldn’t deny the way your heart swelled at seeing how far he went to look for you. “Hobi…I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Look, don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re here now.”

Nodding slowly, you frowned as you got a better look at his appearance. His hair was tousled, almost like he was running his hands through it constantly. His shirt was a little rumpled and a couple of buttons had loosened now. And his eyes looked red and bloodshot.

“Y/N—”

“Hoseok—”

Both of your eyes widened as the two of you spoke at the same time.

“Ah…go ahead.”

“Okay…” He cleared his throat and gave you a serious gaze. “Y/N…we need to talk.”

Just because this was what you had planned to do in the first place didn’t mean that your heart jumped at those dreadful words.

“You’re right, we do.”

Hoseok nodded, motioning you to sit on the couch. You obliged, flicking off another grain of sand from your dress as he sat next to you, keeping his distance from you.  There was silence for a minute before he broke it, clearing his throat once more.

“Y/N…shit, where do I even start?” It sounded like he was speaking to himself so you didn’t answer. He turned his head towards you, a deeply apologetic look on his face. “I…I’m sorry about what happened at the luau. I had no right to act like that.”

Your hands tightened on your skirt at the memory. “You went too far, Hoseok. We were just talking, honestly.”

“I know, I should have known better. You’re not that type of person…if you want to talk to other guys, I have no right to stop you. I wouldn’t be a good friend if I kept doing that…”

All you could do was sit still and bite your lip, waiting until he was finished before you said your peace. Hoseok seemed to have more to say, tapping his foot while he gathered his nerve back up.

“Also…what I said in here earlier…” His hand ran through his hair yet again. “I didn’t mean any of it, you know. About you going out to sleep with other guys and saying that we shouldn’t have slept with each other—” He could barely hold your gaze. “The second that left my mouth, I regretted it.”

“…you really hurt me, you know that?” Hoseok remained quiet while you looked at him with sadness. “You made it sound like all I cared about was going on this trip and finding random guys to fuck. I didn’t come for that, I came to spend time with my friend…only to have him tell me these things right to my face?” You looked down at your clenched hands as tears burned behind your eyes. “It fucking hurts.”

Hoseok’s heart twisted at how upset his insensitivity had made you, instinctively doing the one thing he knew comforted you in times like this. His body scooted to close the distance, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his torso, resting his free hand on the ones on your lap. You hated how you immediately melted into the contact.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…I never want to hurt you like that again. If I ever do, then—” He swallowed the lump in his throat at the thought. “Then just drop me. I don’t deserve to be called a friend for doing that to you.”

The thought of something like that ever happening again brought a sudden rush of agitation  to you. Sitting up, you blinked away the couple of tears that formed in your eyes before turning your head to give Hoseok a fierce look.

“Hoseok, I…I’m not much better, honestly.”

Confusion marred his features. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Well…” You pursed your lips, trying to stay steady. “That night at the club, when I said I was sick…” Now you had to look at his mouth, unable to hide the shame on your face. “I-I lied.”

To your surprise, Hoseok didn’t seem that shocked at your confession, only whispering out, “…I knew it.”

Your eyes met his and widened at the confession. “Wh-What? You did?”

Hoseok sighed in mild irritation, frowning at you. “You never get that sick from a drink or two, even when you’ve only eaten a little. But I gave you the benefit of the doubt and figured you had your reasons for wanting to go…”

Cheeks burning in embarrassment at how you were unknowingly caught red-handed, you looked down at your lap. “O-Oh…I’m sorry. Really, I felt so bad the rest of the night for dragging you out like that…I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Y/N.”

A hand came up to hold your chin, gently tipping it up so you had no choice but to look into Hoseok’s dark eyes, a sternness in them that made your breath catch.

“Is that why you wouldn’t let me take care of you that night?”

“…yes.”

Disappointment came over his face at your admission, sighing heavily as he shook his head. “You dummy…I thought I had done something wrong.” He let your chin go only to bop your nose, pulling a mild squeak out of you. “Don’t ever do that to me again, okay? Especially after what you did for me.”

All you could do was apologize meekly. “S-Sorry, Hobi…”

Shaking his head once more, something in his gaze shifted as he remained silent now. There were clearly more questions that he wanted to ask but hesitation kept him from letting them out. You weren’t faring much better. You should have taken advantage of this to ask your own questions but anxiety kept you from opening your mouth.

Things could only get better or worse.

“Y/N, I—”

“Hoseok, I—”

There you two went again.

“Jesus, we need to stop doing that.”

“Seriously…” Shaking his head, Hoseok motioned towards you with his head. “You go first.”

“O-Okay…” You had to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in order to calm yourself. Once you felt that you were somewhat ready, you grabbed his hands and laced his fingers with your own.. Opening your lids, you used all of your willpower to keep your gaze locked with his.

“Hoseok…I think I should tell you why I’ve been acting the way I have.”

His nod of encouragement gave you a smidge of confidence.

“Well…whenever I saw you talking to Gisele, especially at the club, I—” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I thought you were interested in getting to know her as more than a friend and Imean, why wouldn’t you, she’s gorgeous.” A tiny laugh left you at that. “But judging by your reaction earlier, I was wrong, huh?”

He nodded. “You were. I agree, she’s a beautiful woman but I had no intentions in getting to know her. Trust me, she’s very nice, I think you would like her if you two met.”

At that, you pouted, looking off to the side with heated cheeks. “A-Actually, we just did…downstairs.”

Hoseok’s eyes nearly popped out in shock. “Really?! How did that happen?”

“Well…” 

Time to go all out.

“I ended up in the bar and she came by, said I looked like I needed someone to talk to and she offered…” You shrugged. “So, I took up the offer. I figured that since she knew you, I could get some perspective on how to navigate this problem I have.”

Hoseok gave you a wary look. “And what’s this problem that you have, Y/N?”

Taking in another calming breath, you squeezed his hands while softening your eyes. “My problem is…that I didn’t know how to navigate these feelings that have surfaced for you.” You tried not to crack a smile at the dumbfounded look on Hoseok’s face. “Since the first time we slept together, I haven’t been the same, you know? I want to be around you more often, I want to keep doing all of these fun activities with you and I want to have you all to myself. But—” Your lip caught in your teeth. “Then I remembered what we agreed upon. That we would just stay as friends and keep our relationship physical, nothing more, nothing less…”

“Y/N…”

“I didn’t like that idea but a promise is a promise, right? That’s why…” Your eyes started stinging. “That’s why I told you the other day that we should cut back on all of the touching…”

“…because it was just making what you felt worse.” He finished for you.

You nodded, vision starting to blur. “Mhm. But it didn’t feel good to have to tell you that…it wasn’t like we didn’t hold hands or cuddle before this all began. I felt like an asshole saying that, especially with the way you looked at me afterwards…” A sniffle escaped. “It’s been so hard…I hate not being able to touch you, Hobi.”

Hoseok’s face softened in understanding, head leaning in closer to yours. “I know…it has been for me too. But it’s what you asked for, so I respected it.”

“You’re right—” A trembling laugh left you. “Why do you have to be so good to me, Hobi? I don’t deserve you.”

He frowned, bringing his hands up to gently cup your face. “Yes you do, Y/N. We all make mistakes, okay? At least now we’re here trying to fix them.”

Another sniffle left you, his words easing some of the anxiety that had been hounding you. “R-Right. So…now that I’ve said all of that, there’s one last thing you need to hear.”

“What is it, Y/N?”

With his soft voice, you felt encouragement to finally say what you had been meaning to say this whole week.

“Hoseok…I don’t want to just stay as friends. I want you as more than that. There’s no way I can go back home with you and act like these feelings I have are just a fluke. I just want to know now…” You looked directly into his dark irises, watching as they swirled with emotions. “If I’m right about you feeling the same way.”

Your words were left lingering in the tension-filled air, waiting for Hoseok to respond. It took him some time to process everything you had confessed but the longer he thought about it, the more his heart pounded in elation. Soon enough, his lips broke into a pleased smile, hands lowering back down to lace his fingers with yours.

“Y/N…you’re right. I do feel the same. You know, I’ve never felt jealousy like that my entire life.” 

“R-Really?”

“Yeah…” Hoseok bit his lip. “It was kind of scary to deal with, honestly. It just came over me whenever I saw someone else flirt with you or thought about you going off to find someone else to be with…” He shook his head. “I never want to feel like that again.”

“Hobi…”

“So…” He gave your hands a grip. “I think we should do something about that.”

Despite the tears lingering in your eyes, you couldn’t help but grin in anticipation. “Should we?”

“Yes. I don’t want to take this too fast and call you my girlfriend, at least not yet, but—” He moved closer to rest his forehead on yours, his gaze tender. “I think we should go on a few dates and hopefully, everything will work out for us.”

Every part of you was warming up with each word that came out of his mouth. You were completely on board with everything he was saying, despite some circumstances that you knew were going to cause potential issues in this new relationship of yours.

“Hobi…you know it’s not going to be easy, right? Not just because we have to adjust to this but between work and well, our former flings…”

Hoseok let out a short chuckle, rubbing his thumb on your cheek. “I know…but it’ll be worth it. As long as I get to have you with me, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything? Even swim with dolphins again?”

A laugh came out from your teasing tone. “I’ll live with the fuckers if need be.”

With that, you let out a sound of joy, wasting no time in pressing your lips to Hoseok’s, his moving against yours with no inhibitions. It felt like the weight you had been carrying on your shoulders had been shed, leaving your body feeling light and airy. Nearly seven days of confusion and pain had been erased within the last twenty minutes. You could cry with delight right now.

“Mnh—” Hoseok pulled away a bit, grinning in amusement. “You’re crying, Y/N.”

Sniffling, you reached up to brush away one of the tears rolling down his cheek. “So are you, idiot.”

A pout came from him. “So?”

You giggled. “So I guess we’re both idiots?”

“After all the crap we pulled this week? Yeah, we are.”

Now you laughed, giving his lips a peck. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Hoseok beamed, that sunny smile you adored, finally making a comeback. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you to sit between his long legs, holding you in a tight embrace while gently rocking back and forth. Humming softly, you tucked your face into the base of his neck, taking in the scent of him, the familiarity giving you a sense of calm. The two of you sat in silence for a little while, enjoying the feel of each other. That is, until an idea popped into your head.

“Hobi…”

“Yeah?”

You brought your head up to look at him. “Can we…go take a shower?”

Hoseok blinked at your request. “Oh, um, sure. Do I, uh, do I stink?”

“No, you smell fine. I just…” You bit your lip shyly. “I want to, well, make it up to you.”

“By…showering with me?”

“Ugh, yes, no—” You mumbled as your cheeks burned. “I mean, I want to wash you up…you know, take care of you?”

Hoseok’s mouth popped open in understanding but of course, that sly smile of his had to follow. “Is that so? But what about you? Maybe I can wash you up too.”

“Huh? I don’t need a shower!”

“Oh yes—” His brow raised. “The woman who’s been leaving sand all over since she stepped in here doesn’t need a shower.”

You growled and pouted, looking away. “Fine, fine, you can wash me too. Pain in the ass.”

He laughed at your relenting, reaching to muss up your hair while he guided you to stand, following right after. “You’re so cute when you’re like this, you know that?”

“Hush.”

You pouted more but it quickly turned into a smile when he took your hand into his. Lacing his fingers with yours, he started leading you both into the bedroom and to the bathroom. Hoseok shut the door behind him while you walked over to the stall, reaching in to turn on the water. While it heated up, you turned around, motioning him to come closer with a crook of your finger. With a raised brow and an amused smile, he obliged, leaving a few inches of space in between your bodies. “Yes?”

Lips quirking, you began loosening the buttons on his shirt. “Can’t bathe you with clothes on, right?”

Hoseok giggled, eyes watching your hands close. “No, you can’t.”

Flashing a flirtatious smile, you took your time undoing the garment, pushing it off his shoulders once you were done. Your hands then went to his belt, undoing the strap before working on the button and zipper of his pants, opening up the fly. Hooking your fingers into the waistband to catch onto his underwear as well, you got on your knees, slowly sliding the fabrics down to his ankles and allowed him to step out of the material as you stood up. Throughout the week, you were able to take peeks of his body, but it wasn’t until this moment where you finally got the chance to really gawk. His chest was toned and ripped and perfectly matched by defined abs that tightened at the slightest of touches. He seriously gave Adonis a run for his money with how beautifully sculpted he was, making your mouth water.   Of course, you couldn’t help but eye the one part you had become very familiar with, fighting the urge to lick your lips. Thankfully, Hoseok pulled you out of your ogling with a tap to your shoulder.

“Like what you see?” Hoseok raised his brow in a joking fashion.

“Hmm…maybe?”

He chuckled. “Quit eyeballing me and let me undress you, pervert.”

You rolled your eyes before turning around to grant his wish. Hoseok wasted no time in going for the tie on the back of your neck, loosening the strings and lowering the bodice, exposing your bare breasts to the steamy air. Hoseok then turned you back around, gaze focusing on your chest for a few seconds. Just when you were about to tease him, he took the top of the dress into his hands, mirroring the same action you performed with his bottoms. Looking up, he bit his lip at the lacy underwear you had on, sliding his fingers up your legs to hook onto the fabric. Once you spread them a bit, he started working them down until they hit your feet, helping you step out of them before throwing them on top of your dress. Standing up, his dark brown eyes roamed your exposed skin, lingering on each crease and curve that he had explored with his hands or mouth this last week.

Although you weren’t against Hoseok looking at you in that way, you had a feeling that things might go in a less innocent direction if he kept it up. Taking his hand into yours, you laced fingers and gave a gentle squeeze. “Come on.”

Nodding, he gave you a tender smile, letting you lead him into the shower stall. As the warmth from the steam enveloped the both of you, you checked the water to make sure it was a good temperature. Satisfied, you motioned the other to stand under the stream. Hoseok obliged but not without pulling you with him, sputtering as some of the water got in your face.

You pouted up at him through wet lashes. “Hobi!”

“Sorry—” he laughed. “I just like to see you wet.”

If it wasn’t for the wiggle of his brows, you would have taken his statement at face value.

“Like you haven’t seen enough of that already, you lech.”

“But it’s not enough!”

Shaking your head, you stepped back and grabbed the body wash on the shelf. “You can see more of that later, just relax and let me wash you up.”

Hoseok pouted some more but relented with a nod. You uncapped the bottle, squeezing some of the liquid out into your palm before setting it back down. Rubbing your hands together, you began by starting at his shoulders, massaging the soap in small circles. The sigh that he let out made your lips twitch, looking up to see his eyes lidded and mouth curved a bit.

“Feels nice?”

“Mhm…your hands always feel nice, baby.”

Your cheeks warmed at the name, giddy that you didn’t have to be in a certain position anymore to hear it from him.

“Good.”

You started moving down to his torso, rubbing your palms on the firm muscles, biting back giggles whenever you felt Hoseok flinch as your fingertips tickled sensitive areas. Giving his ribs a poke out of jest, you smiled innocently when he gave you a look that screamed ‘stop it’, dropping to your knees to work on the rest of his body. Although you were face to face with his dick, you made a point to avoid it, starting at the tops of his thighs instead. You softly kneaded the muscles there, front and back, before moving on to his knees and calves. Once you were done, you stood back up, trying not to beam in pride at the loving look Hoseok was giving you.

“Turn around.”

Nodding, Hoseok did as you said, facing the tiled wall as you poured more body wash into your hands, working the soap onto his back now. You wanted to take your time with this area, feeling a few knots underneath his soft skin (not surprising considering what he had to deal with in his daily life). It was too late for Hoseok to visit the spa so you aimed to do your best for him. Pressing the heel of your palm in one of the clusters, you applied minimal force to feel it loosen. Hoseok let a profanity slip past his lips in a hushed tone prompting you to look up at his profile.

“You okay, Hobi?”

“Yeah. It hurt a bit but it’s already feeling better. Keep going?”

Giving a sound of affirmation, you continued, working out each knot, pulling various sounds from Hoseok from mild discomfort to relief. Once they were all gone, you returned to massaging the entirety of his back now. As the soap now covered every inch of the skin, you lowered your eyes down, biting your lip as you debated on taking care of that area next.

Hoseok’s eyes flew open when he felt your palms on his ass, head whipping around to give you a startled look.

“Y/N!”

You looked up at him, blinking with wide eyes at his reaction. “What? You don’t want me to wash your ass?”

“Y-You…” Those heart-shaped lips turned down. “Do you have to? Feels kind of weird having you there.”

“I mean, I’m back here already, why not?”

Hoseok groaned at your persistence, giving you a skeptical gaze. “Is that your actual reasoning or do you just want an excuse to touch my butt?”

You stayed silent, pursing your lips in thought. “I was trying to be thorough but I never get t to touch your ass. I mean, look at it!” You emphasized your claim with a faint smack to a cheek, making him jump. “It’s so nice, how can I not?”

Hoseok frowned at you further, the tips of his ears turning red. “…fine, go ahead. But stay on the outside, okay?”

You giggled in success, kissing his shoulder blade as he turned his head back around. “Yes sir.”

You spotted him shaking his head before you started washing some of the soap onto the area, respecting his wishes to stay in his safe zone. It shouldn’t have taken you so long to clean there but you were being a bit self-indulgent, feeling the shape and firmness of his glutes with fascination. He probably noticed but chose not to say anything, standing still as your hands roamed.

Having had your fill, you pulled off to hold his arms, directing him to stand under the water again. You rubbed your hands on him, aiding the stream in washing the soap off of his body. Watching the suds go down the drain, you peeked around to look at his face, seeing his eyes closed once again and a relaxed smile on his lips. You couldn’t fight the one forming on your own lips now.

You were going to finish rinsing him off and just leave it at that but a part of your brain had other ideas. Ever since you had stripped him down, a twinge of desire had sparked in your belly and only increased as you pampered him. Maybe it was the recognition of mutual feelings. Maybe it had something to do with the close proximity to a wet and soapy Hoseok. Or maybe it was the fact that this would be your last night together before having to go back to your hectic lives.

Whatever the reason, you made up your mind within a few seconds.

Hoseok felt your body pressing to his, biting his lip a bit as he could feel your breasts against his back. His self-control dwindled when your arms wrapped around his waist, giving him a squeeze. The smile on his face grew at the motion, enjoying the contact until he felt your hands moving lower.

His eyes flew open when he felt your hands wrapping around his cock, giving a gasp.

“Y-Y/N!”

“Shh.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder blade, feeling him twitch in your hold. “Let me take care of you, baby.”

Biting on his lip, Hoseok nodded languidly, looking down as your hands carefully started stroking him. He had been feeling some excitement at the prospect of showering with you but unlike the first time, he expected nothing sexual to occur. But now it seemed like you were on board for letting it go that direction; who was he to refuse?

“Mnh…damn, Y/N—“

You murmured against his warm skin, “Feel good?”

“Yes—“

You smiled when you saw his head tip back and heard a groan escape from his lips. “That’s it…”

Hoseok’s eyes had fluttered shut as a pleasant warmth began spreading from his groin to the rest of his body. Your hands felt wonderful as always but with the current circumstances, the sensations hit a little harder than usual. When you said you wanted to take care of him, you meant it.

You felt his cock slowly stiffening in your grasp from your motions, licking your lips at the feeling. You were taking your sweet time pleasuring him, only aiming to give him one last bit of relaxation before reality set in in the morning.

“Fuck, baby—“ Hoseok looked down, letting out a strained laugh. “Your hands look so pretty around my cock right now…”

Your cheeks burned as you grinned, pressing one of them to his back, pausing your movements to give him a squeeze before resuming. “Oh yeah? Guess I made a good decision to get my nails done.”

“Ngh— you sure did.”

He really was finding himself transfixed at the sight, the painted nails contrasting with the flushed skin of his length. Just when he thought the view couldn’t get better, you brought one of the hands up to rub a thumb over the tip and Hoseok jerked his hips in reaction to the action. You licked your lips at the stickiness on it now, glad that he was clearly enjoying himself.

Hoseok’s arousal was building quickly, the relaxation flowing through his body aiding in it and within minutes, he was panting softly and occasionally jerking his slender body towards your hands.

“Hobi…you wanna fuck my hands?”

He gave a strong twitch at your question, nodding swiftly. “Y-Yes, please…”

Loosening your hold a bit, you gave his back another kiss. “Go ahead, baby.”

With your encouragement, Hoseok began thrusting into the enclosed grip, groaning lowly at the increase in pleasure. He probably looked needy right now but he didn’t give a shit. For once, he could let someone else take control.

“Goddamn, Y/N…ngh—”

You did your best to ignore your own arousal between your thighs, pushing it aside in favor of hearing more of Hoseok’s lewd moans. They echoed off the walls and paired with the light slapping of skin from his deep thrusts against your hands, you found yourself lost in harmony until his strained voice spoke up. “Sweetheart…”

“Hm? What is it?”

“Can you…” From here, you could see his ears turn redder while he paused. “Um, can you…?”

You tilted your head, trying to figure out what it was he wanted. “Can I?”

He tried to speak again but between his hesitance and the bliss, a groan of frustration came out before he reached down to remove one of your hands. He moved it down to brush your fingertips against his balls, a breath escaping him at the contact. “Touch me there…please.”

Fighting the spark that went down your spine, you nodded against his skin. You pressed a little harder with your digits, causing Hoseok to let out a loud moan as he bent forward, supporting his body on the shower wall with his palms spread out.

“Oh fuck yes…just like that—”

You swallowed the saliva that had gathered in your mouth, keeping your hand moving in time with his hips while the other caressed his balls. Seeing Hoseok in this state was helping you understand why he liked being dominant during sex. Something about seeing a person at your mercy while you controlled their pleasure is thrilling. Pride takes over you at the thought that you’re the one making Hoseok feel this good. Maybe you could convince him to let you take over more often…

“Shit—“ His hands on the wall curled into fists now as his hips bucked once again. “Y/N, ‘m gonna…”

You bit back a moan, knowing what was going to leave his mouth next. “You’re gonna what, baby?”

Hoseok’s teeth gritted at your cooing, thrusting harder into your hand now. “Gonna fucking come…fuck—“

Sucking in a breath at his heated admission, you pressed your body onto his back again before resting your cheek on his wet skin. You murmured, “Come on Hobi, go ahead and let it out for me.”

You felt his body stiffen for a second, thinking he reached his limit, but it began heaving again immediately. He strained out to you after turning his head to the side, “A-Are you— oh God— Are you sure, love?”

He couldn’t really see you from that angle but felt you nod against him, the hand around him squeezing while the other cupped his balls again. “Please Hobi, come for me. I want you to feel good.”

The second he had gotten your assurance, he felt the knot in his groin loosen and spread heat throughout the rest of his body. Hoseok’s head lifted as a strangled moan escaped his lips, continuing to fuck your hand through his climax.

“Oh fuck— Y/N!”

Now your moans came out as you felt and watched him come undone. He shook all over while his cock pulsed strongly in your grasp, leading you to poke your head around and watch as his orgasm released messily as it landed on the tiled walls, some of his come dripping from his cock to the floor. “Shit, Hobi—”

Had he not been in the middle of a strong climax right now, Hoseok would have laughed at how fascinated you were at the sight of him coming (he would figure that you would have gotten used to him doing that by now). However, with his knees on the verge of buckling and spots blurring his vision, he’s more thankful that your body is there to keep him from toppling to the floor through his release.

Your hand kept up the rhythm of moving up and down on his cock, milking him until you were sure there was nothing left. Whimpers slipped from his lips at the overstimulation, a plea for you to slow down and so you do. You gave a few miniscule tugs to his twitching length before you pulled away completely. 

“There you go, Hobi…feel better now?”

Hoseok shivered against you at your words. “Y-Yeah…thank you, Y/N.”

You smiled and removed your hands, giving his stomach a gentle pat before wrapping your arms around his waist. Hoseok let out a weak chuckle, lifting up his hands to rest on top of yours. The two of you stayed like that for a little while, the only noise was the sound of the water still pouring out of the showerhead. But that was soon cut off when you feel Hoseok lifting his arms away from yours in favor of shutting off the water, prompting you to lift your head up and look up to him. 

“Hobi, why’d you turn it off?”

Rather than answer you, he carefully took your arms off of his waist before turning around and facing you. 

His eyes were lowered, a mix of satiation and lust in his irises. His dark, dripping strands were plastered to his face as drops of water slid over the angles of his cheekbones and nose. His heart-shaped lips were currently pressed together, causing you to tilt your head in question.

In a split second, they ended up on yours, giving you a passionate kiss. Hoseok’s hands came up to cup your face, pressing his chest to yours at the same time. By the time he pulled away, you were breathless, rasping out, “Hoseok?”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Judging by the way he was eyeing you, you figured that you knew exactly what he wanted.

“So no shower for me?”

Hoseok scoffed at your teasing tone, pushing a few wet hairs of your own off your forehead. “Fuck the shower. Need you.”

Those few words went straight to your core, leaving you with the inability to do anything but nod. With that, Hoseok led you out of the shower, grabbing a couple of towels to dry yourselves off with. The second you finished, you both dropped the towels to the floor, and Hoseok’s was quick to gather you up in his arms, prompting you to yelp suddenly.

“Hobi!” You quickly latched onto him with your arms and legs, scowling at the amusement on his face. “What is it with you and picking me up unannounced?”

“I like to keep you on your toes, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, I’m not exactly on my toes right now, am I?”

Hoseok gave your lips a peck. “Smartass. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Before you could reply back, he began carrying you into the bedroom. Making a beeline for the bed, he laid you down in the middle of it, eyeing you for a few seconds until he crawled in between your spread legs. A hand came up and ran a finger along the curve of your hip as he husked, “Can I take care of you, darling?”

There was no reluctance in the answer you gave him, prompting a bright smile of his own to find its way onto his face, making your heart skip a beat. With that, Hoseok leaned over your body, pressing his lips to your jawline to trail wet kisses up and down before moving onto your neck, pulling a purr out of you as your eyelids fluttered close at the sensation. He aimed for all of your sensitive spots, making you whimper softly as you rested your hands on his back, digging your nails into the warm skin.

“Mm…”

Your moans encouraged Hoseok to move his lips down to the base of your neck, finding the sensitive area and sucked hard, causing you to arch your body up into his. Releasing the skin, he gave it a tender kiss, eyeing the mark with pride before continuing his trail down to your chest. Landing just between your cleavage, Hoseok brought a hand up to cup one of your breasts and pushed it up for him to latch onto the nipple.

“H-Hobi—”

The call of his name made him moan around your bud as he continued sucking your nipple into his mouth while the tip of his tongue slowly swirled around it. He felt one of your hands slide up to gently grip the strands of hair on the back of his head and gave it a harsh tug, a moan simultaneously released from both of you sent vibrations throughout your body. Pulling his mouth off, it found your second breast, giving it the same attention as the previous while keeping his long fingers on the swollen nipple he started with.

“Mnh, just like that,” you sigh breathlessly.

Smiling against your skin, Hoseok pulled off to flash you a smirk. Pushing your breasts together now, he dipped his head down and moved side to side to bathe both in attention, one after the other. 

“Such perfect tits—” He kissed each one. “So lucky I get to see them like this.”

Your face heated up at the praise, biting back a smile. “I’m lucky to have someone like you giving them so much attention.”

Hoseok’s grin grew even more, cheeks reddening as he pressed more kisses all over the mounds, pulling something close to giggles out of you. “Hey, what’s with the laughing?”

“That tickles!”

Chuckling, he released your breasts and tilted his head while pouting. “Not like I hate your laughs but that’s not the sound I want to hear…”

“Oh?” You mirrored his motions. “What sound do you want to hear, Hobi?”

With your question, his dark eyes narrowed in on you as his face became a little more serious. “I want to hear those gorgeous moans of yours, of course. And maybe, have you screaming my name?”

Your body shivered at the velvety tone laced in his words. “Ah…well, you’ll have to do a little more to get that out of me, baby.”

“Is that so?” He rested a hand on the curve of your waist. “Tell me what to do, sweetheart.”

You licked your lips, not taking long to come to a decision. You slid a hand down your body and moved it underneath Hoseok to rest on your folds. Gathering some of your wetness on two of your fingers, you brought them up to his face to smear on his lips. “I want you to eat me out and get a good taste, Hoseok.”

Your actions made Hoseok’s face morph into something more ferocious, his mouth opening and taking your slick-coated fingers inside, sucking your arousal off before pushing them out with his tongue. A low growl escaped. “Fuck…you don’t have to tell me twice, love.”

Unable to hold back your smile now, you tapped your digits against his lips. Hoseok reattached his mouth to your skin, starting between the valley of your breasts and slowly making his way down to your stomach, pressing on each crease and mark with care. You began squirming after some time, impatient for some attention to a much-needed area. You didn’t have to say anything to him though as he continued his journey, pressing a kiss to your bellybutton before sliding down to the area between your hips, his chin close to your swollen clit.

“Hobi…”

His dark eyes flicked up to yours at your whimper, keeping the gaze locked as he moved further and pressed his lips to your bud, pulling a soft gasp out from you.

“O-Oh—”

The corners of his mouth lifted at the noise, giving it a slow lick, your hips lifting at the touch. He didn’t give you a break as the second your back hit the bed, Hoseok began swirling the tip of his tongue around your clit, watching as your head tilted back now.

“Oh God…mm—”

“You like that, baby?”

“Yes, Hobi…”

He chuckled, his breath fanning out over your sensitive area before he moved lower, sticking his tongue out to run up and down your glistening folds. You let out louder moans at the attention from him, clutching the sheets now to keep yourself somewhat grounded. Your hips struggled to hold back after a while as you began grinding up against his face, the feeling of vibrations from his groan hot against your skin.

“Damn, Y/N…so needy for me…”

“Mnh, only for you, Hobi—”

Your words rushed down to his cock, causing him to shift against the bed for a few seconds before regaining focus. Wanting to take things up a notch, Hoseok dipped his tongue between your lips, aiming to wiggle it over your entrance.  His tongue caused more arousal to drip from your pussy, leaving Hoseok to lap up your sweetness quickly. “How do you always taste so good, darling?”

Hoseok didn’t give you a moment to answer him as he returned to your clit, latching on to give a hard suck between his pillowy lips.

“Fuck—"

Your back arched off the mattress, fingers digging harder into the covers.

“Goddamn…”

Hoseok groaned again, the sound making you tremble for a few seconds in response. He pulled away from you, giving your thigh a tiny slap that caused you to whine. He pressed his tongue to your folds now to give them some needed care, resulting in you rutting against his face once more.

“Hobi…”

He looked up at you, lips glistening. “What is it?”

You swallowed hard, taking a chance with what you were going to do next. Letting go of the sheets, you reached down to gently grip the top of his head, pushing down until his mouth was aligned with your entrance again. “Your tongue…I want it in me.”

Hoseok’s breath hitched at your request, lids lowering in lust. “Oh yeah? You want me to fuck you with my tongue, baby?”

Just the way he husked it out had you shivering, tightening your hold on him. “Yes, please—”

The smirk he shot you had an edge to it. “Then get ready. I’m not stopping until I have you coming on my face.”

Wasting no time, Hoseok brought the tip of his tongue back out, dipping between your folds to tease your quivering hole. Hoseok's hands found your hips and pressed down lightly to aid you in keeping them from rising off the mattress once again. You were rewarded as his wet muscle slowly slid in, opening you up and causing you to gasp. 

“A-Ah—”

Hoseok kept his eyes on you as he pushed forward, lust pooling in his dark brown irises. Once he got in as far as he could go, he got to work, rolling his tongue along your walls with purpose, growling whenever you clenched against his tongue. The lewd sounds of his tongue in your pussy, mixed with the meek moans escaped your lips as the feeling of his tongue heightened both of your arousal. And then he dove straight in and started thrusting relentlessly. 

“Oh God, yes, Hoseok—”

Your keening made his cock harden as he slid his hands up to grip your ass, lifting it up at an angle to push further inside. The change in position made you gasp, looking down to get a full view of his face burying between your legs. The sight alone sent another wave of wetness onto his tongue, pulling yet another growl from Hoseok. You couldn’t move your hips under his grip, so you laid underneath him and vocalized with loud moans and whimpered just how good he was making you feel.

Out of nowhere, the tip of Hoseok’s nose brushed against your already sensitive clit. 

“H-Hobi--!”

The cry you let out was music to his ears, pushing him to work you along further with his tongue. All he was concerned about was giving you the release you deserved, wanting to make it up to you for his behavior this week. He smiled against you as he felt you start to tremble in his grasp. Your voice whimpered out as one of your hands went down to grip his hair, “I’m gonna c-come…don’t stop—”

Hoseok listened to your words, motivating him further as he continued to brush your clit with his nose; he felt you quiver against him more. Your hand suddenly tightens in his hair once again, tugging at the onyx strands as your orgasm tears through you unexpectedly at lightning speed. 

Your toes curled at the cord of pleasure snapping and Hoseok removed his mouth from you, letting you ride out the shocks of your orgasm.

“There you go beautiful, you look so fucking good like this—“ He kneaded his hands into your flesh while praising you. “Came all over my tongue like a good girl, I’m so proud.”

It felt like an eternity to you but to him, it was all too soon when you relaxed in his hold, allowing Hoseok to lower your body back onto the bed. Your eyes slowly opened, taking in the sight of his face. His still damp hair was tousled from your hand, his eyes fluttered with need and his skin was coated in your arousal. 

“Mnh…you’re all messy, Hobi.”

He chuckled at that, sitting up and grinning. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, Y/N.”

You giggled softly, using your arms to lift yourself up in a seated position before motioning him to come closer with a finger. Hoseok leaned down with a curious look, morphing into one of surprise as you wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

After a few minutes, you let him go as you licked your lips purposefully while looking into his eyes, watching as his face darkened.

“You’re a dream come true, you know that?”

The statement made your cheeks warm further, tilting your head. “Me? I think I should be saying that about you, Hobi.”

A short laugh came out of him at that but you could see how his face reddened some more. “You might be laying it on a little thick there, darling.”

“Just saying how I feel, baby.”

“Huh…always love hearing that lovely voice of yours but I’d rather you show me than tell.”

Your tongue flicked out again. “How do you want me to show you, then?”

With that, Hoseok scooted back, leaving you with a full view of his body, breath catching at how his cock was stiff again. He noticed you looking and slid a hand down his stomach to wrap around it, giving it a few, lazy strokes. “I want you to let me inside, sweetheart. I’m not done making it up to you.”

You would have said yes regardless but that view completely solidified your answer. “Hoseok…please, I need you.”

He smiled lovingly at your breathless reply. “How do you want it, Y/N?”

Debating for a few seconds, you sat up and scooted over, patting your previous spot. “Sit here, baby.”

Already figuring out what position you were asking for, his smile grew as he sat up against the pillows and headboard, watching you close as you straddled his lap. Reaching down, you held his cock upright, lifting your hips enough for the head to brush against and part your sensitive folds, resting it against your entrance. Looking up at Hoseok’s face, you caught him staring at you. His lips were plump and swollen from the kiss you just shared and desire pooled in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.  

“Hoseok…”

One of his hands came up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheek. “Y/N…”

You leaned into his touch, shooting him a soft smile; getting one in return, making your heart skip a beat. Honestly, you could have stayed like this if it weren’t for the fire that had built back up in your core. You kept your gazes locked as you lowered yourself onto him, your mouth parting as he stretched you out.

“M-Mnh…”

With your wetness and the spit from him, you slid down easily until your bottom touched his thighs, letting out a light moan as you adjusted. Hoseok had his teeth gritted as you took him in, cursing lowly once you stopped. “Goddamn…can never get used to you around me like this—“

You giggled weakly, reaching your hands up to rest on his shoulders as you pressed your nose to his. “Even after these last few days?”

“Mhm…” He licked his lips before his voice lowered. “But I’m not complaining. Could live forever in this heavenly pussy of yours.”

His words made you shiver, capturing his mouth in a hard kiss. After you parted, you waited until his hands gripped your hips before starting to lift yourself up and down slowly, moaning softly as his tip dragged against the front of your walls.

“Ah…Hobi—“

“Feels good, love?”

“Always…” You moaned as your eyes fell closed. “You always feel so good inside me…”

You felt his dick twitch at your words, his grip tightening on your hips. “Fuck, Y/N—“

Giggling avidly at his reply, you gave his nose a kiss before sitting back all the way and starting to roll your hips with a stuttered gasp. “O-Oh my God…”

Hoseok let a low growl out at the sensations, sliding one of his hands up to grope your breast, loving how your back arched to push the mound further into his palm. “That’s it, baby— You look and sound so fucking hot right now…”

Pants spilled from your mouth as it hung open, your pleasure building higher and higher as time went by. Having Hoseok’s hand play with your tits was helping immensely but you could tell he was starting to get restless, used to moving around somewhat during your usual excursions. You wanted to remedy that.

“Hobi…”

“What is it, sweetheart?”

Stilling your hips, you gazed into his eyes as your hands slid off his shoulders and down his arms. Gripping his hands, you maneuvered them to rest on your ass, squeezing them down on the supple flesh. At his look of questioning, you leaned forward so your mouth was at his ear, whispering silkily, “Mark me up.”

You could see the emotions shifting inside Hoseok, ending on decisiveness as he nodded. Grinning, you removed your hands to go back to its previous place, resuming your pace and moving on his dick again. It only took a few more motions before you felt one of his palms lift up and come down on your skin, the resounding smack echoing in the room along with your cry.

“Ah-! Just like that…”

Hoseok chuckled at your reaction, delivering another swat and matched the rhythm of his hips with yours. “Damn baby, love how tight you get on me when I do this—”

“Mm—Of course, Hobi…feels so nice when you touch me like that…”

You emphasized this with a purposeful clench, grinning at the hiss he let out before digging his fingers into your cheeks. 

“Shit—“

Hoseok gave a few smacks on each side, growling at how you cried out and arched your back. “I’m gonna make this ass all red again…you’re mine now.”

His promise made you quiver above him, digging your nails into his skin. “Fuck, Hoseok— Of course…I’m all yours—!”

The man underneath you froze, eyes boring into yours with shock before he whispered, “Say that again…”

“I-I’m all yours, baby.”

Gratification took over his facial expressions as he processed the words leaving your lips as he delivered a swat on one side. “Again.” He growled possessively.

Your nails dug into his shoulders. “I’m all yours, Hobi— Shit—!”

A harder one on the opposite side. “Again.”

“Oh God— I’m all yours, Hoseok, no one else’s.”

A deep snarl escaped his chest as he took your lips into a rough kiss, his tongue tangling against your own for a bit before he pulled away to rasp, “You’re all mine, Y/N…never want to let you go, sweetheart.”

“Then don’t…ngh—“You slid a hand up his neck to hold his cheek, looking deep into his onyx eyes. “Are you mine, Hobi?”

Hoseok couldn’t help the way he twitched inside at the shift in control, nodding. “Yes, baby…”

Something came over you now as you licked at your bottom lip. You clenched around him again in response. “Say it.”

“Shit…” His hands tightened on you. “I’m all yours, Y/N—“

Another clench. “Again.”

“Fuck, baby—! I’m yours, always, God, all yours—”

A triumphant smirk came onto your face as you bumped your forehead laid against his own. “Then I guess we’re stuck with each other now, hm?”

Hoseok matched your expression. “You’re damn right, sweetheart—“He jiggled one of your ass cheeks. “Don’t you forget it.”

A giggle couldn’t help but break out as your heart swelled at everything happening right now. You kept moving on top of him for a little while longer, reacting loudly every time his hands came down on your skin.

“Y/N…”

The call of your name caught your attention, tilting your head as you saw Hoseok studying you. “Hobi?”

“Not that I don’t enjoy having you on top of me but—“A brow raised. “I never got to see how you would look under me.”

At the realization, your hips stopped moving once more. For a second, you remembered the moments you’ve shared with Hoseok and realized that he was right. The vision of him above you, working his lean body to bring the both of you to a satisfying finish, brought a shiver down your spine.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Hoseok chuckled at your challenging tone, seeing you lean forward so you could wrap your legs around his waist. He hooked an arm around your torso and wasted no time in flipping you onto your back, watching as you fell down onto the plush comforter below. Twisting your head, you couldn’t help but lick your lips at the sight above you. It was better than you ever could have imagined.

He reached down to hold himself before entering you again, the new angle allowing his cock to hit deeper than previously. You gnawed on your lip until he got in as deep as possible, moving your hands to rest on his back. “Come on, Hobi…”

Nodding at your plea, he shifted his hips back before rolling in faster, starting up a quick pace that had the both of you letting loose frequent moans.

“Shit, baby, you look so good like this—”

“Mnh—So do you…” Your eyes went between your bodies, watching how he moved. “Your cock looks so nice sliding in and out of me…”

A grunt fell from his lips as he delivered a harder thrust, making you gasp. “Be careful talking to me like that, sweetheart…I might not be able to keep going easy on you if you do.”

“Then don’t.” You hooked your legs around his waist again, pushing them up as high as possible. “Stop holding back and fuck me like you really want to.”

Between the change in angle, your words and the way you looked up at him with lustful eyes, Hoseok growled audibly, entwining your fingers together and pinning them down next to your head. He only gave you a second before he began pounding into you with renewed fervor, lips twitching at the sharp cry you let out. “Like that, baby?”

“Oh fuck, yes! Just like that—”

A silky laugh left him at your reaction, leaning his head down to press kisses anywhere he could reach. Your face. Your neck. The swell of your breasts. All the while, he murmured words of praises.

“God, you’re so damn beautiful—Can’t believe I get to call you mine now, ngh--! Wish we could stay like this forever, don’t wanna go back home yet…”

Everything Hoseok was saying was everything you always wanted to hear. Your heart leaped in your chest and your pussy fluttered around him in endearment. You shared the same sentiments, knowing that navigating a relationship with Hoseok would not be an easy feat with both of your schedules but you would do whatever it took to make things work out. Now that your feelings were out, there was no way you could go back to just being friends.

Your face was heating up as he continued expressing himself and you felt the telltale signs of an orgasm starting to creep up on you. After a loud whine left your lips, Hoseok brought his head back up to give you a knowing look.

“Almost there?”

“Y-Yeah…you?”

“Yes—” Unlacing one of his hands from yours, he slid it down your body until his thumb rested on your swollen bud, circling it slowly. “Do it with me, baby…”

His ministrations made your hand grip onto his tighter and your free one return to his back as your head tipped back into the pillows at the waves of bliss that started spreading. “Fuck—”

Hoseok decided to speed up a little more, panting harshly as beads of sweat started rolling down his face, the pressure in his groin building up. He could tell he wasn’t going to last much longer but he was doing his best to hold back so you could finish first.

Like you could read his thoughts, your hips would rise from the comforter as you would increase the tightness on his cock from your sensitive pussy as your moans became more frequent. 

“H-Hobi--!”

“Come on, Y/N…come for me, darling—Let me feel it.”

With a few more thrusts and the added pleasure of his thumb rubbing circles on your clit, your eyes snapped shut, resulting in you releasing a sharp scream. The tight coil inside you came undone as your nails dug harder into Hoseok’s back in euphoria.

“H-Hoseok--!”

Hissing at the slight pain from your nails and the way you started clamping down on him, he was only able to keep going for a few more thrusts before he came to a halt, a strangled moan being ripped from his throat.

“Y/N--! Fuck—”

You could feel the throbbing of his cock along your sensitive walls as he started filling you up, the sensations aiding to your euphoria. Somehow you managed to bring a hand up to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling Hoseok down for a sloppy kiss, wanting to feel his lips on yours. He returned the action as his lips pressed against yours, moans vibrating against you until both of your bodies began coming down from your highs. Hoseok pulled his mouth off slowly, gasping for air as he looked you over with lidded eyes.

Your skin shone with sweat and housed a few marks from his lips roaming around earlier and your body trembled slightly at the aftershocks of your orgasm. You looked up at him with an exhausted yet loving gaze, swollen lips curling into a faint smile.

“Hi Hobi…”

He couldn’t help but give his own grin back, just as tired but brimming with adoration. “Hi Y/N…”

The two of you giggled before going in for a few more pecks, Hoseok resting his face in the crook of your neck while you wrapped your arms around him. You turned your head to sigh in his ear, “Do we really have to go home in the morning?”

You felt him hum against your skin. “Sadly, yes. Can’t believe a whole week passed already…”

“Mhm. But I’m glad we got to spend all this time together…thank you for even inviting me.”

“Of course, baby—” He brought his head up to beam at you. “I wouldn’t have dreamed of bringing anyone else.”

There went your heart again.

“Hoseok.”

“Yes?”

“You promise this will all work out?”

Hoseok nodded with confidence. “I promise it will. I’ll let Simone, Ye-jun, all of those girls know that they can’t come around like they used to. And if they don’t listen—”

Your brow raised. “I’ll deal with them personally.”

Hoseok laughed at your thinly veiled threat. “I was going to say that I’ll block them but if you insist!”

“Hobi, I’ve seen these girls show up at your parties too often, what makes you think just blocking them is going to work?”

“Well, maybe they’ll respect my wishes?”

You gave him a deadpan look. “Respect your wishes? Remember that time that one girl kept calling you during office hours after you told her multiple times to stop?”

Hoseok winced playfully. “Ah…on second thought, maybe you should intervene a bit.”

A smile came back onto your face as you giggled, giving his nose a peck. “Of course.”

Chuckling at how pleased you looked now, he realized that he was still inside you, softening ever so slowly. He started to pull out until your hands flew down to grip his ass, causing his head to whip up. “Y/N?”

“Um…” Your cheeks warmed at what you were about to ask him, never having requested anything like this before. “Hobi, can we…can we stay like this?”

Hoseok’s eyes widened at what you said. “Wh-What? You mean…you don’t want me to pull out?”

“N-No…at least not yet.” Your eyes met his, despite your sudden shyness. “I want to stay like this with you for a little longer.”

Now his eyes softened in understanding, nodding. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s get a little more comfortable first.”

With that, Hoseok wrapped his arms around your body, carefully moving the both of you to lie on your sides. You hooked your leg over his, keeping him secure inside you. He chuckled at the move, patting your back gently with his one hand.

“Relax, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, just want you as close as possible.”

Hoseok groaned and pouted. “Stop being so fucking cute.”

You grinned, reaching up and poking his nose. “No.”

Hoseok pouted more before cradling your cheeks and allowing you to rest your head under his chin, sighing softly. With his arms tight around you and exhaustion starting to creep up, you felt that you could go right to sleep like this. But it wouldn’t have been wise to stay this way for the rest of the night, especially as his come is still housed inside you. And judging by Hoseok’s heavy eyes, he wasn’t faring much better in staying awake.

“Hey Hobi…”

“Mm?”

“Mind taking a nap for a bit?”

You didn’t hear anything for a little while until Hoseok spoke reluctantly, “Okay, but just for a few minutes, we really need to clean up and pack.”

You nodded, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “Just for a few minutes.”

It seemed that days of running around, drinking and fucking were catching up to you now.

Your head was tipped back against the headrest of the seat, eyes squeezed shut as you did your best to ignore the pounding behind it. It had started earlier but now that you were on the jet, it grew into a full-blown pain in the ass after you had brunch with Hoseok. Thankfully, he noticed your discomfort and went off to go get you some painkillers.

The lack of sleep didn’t help either.

Your nap turned from a few minutes into a few hours. You opened your eyes to see the clock on the nightstand reading 4 AM, swearing as you shook Hoseok awake. There was still time to get more rest but you feared that the two of you would miss your flight if you did. Reluctantly, Hoseok slid out of you, leaving you to rush to the bathroom to clean yourself off. Within an hour and a half, the both of you were packed and dressed. It was too early for any shops to be open and you didn’t want to get carried away by walking too far from the hotel. So you and him decided to sit out on the balcony, you on his lap as you both watched the sun rise, reminiscing on this past week with whispers and soft laughs.

Just the thought of it made your lips quirk, despite the discomfort in your head.

“Here, Y/N.”

Opening your eyes, you looked up with relief to see Hoseok holding out a pill bottle and a glass of water. You took it with gratitude, quickly swallowing both before handing the empty glass back. “Thank you, baby.”

He gave you a bright smile and nodded, setting it down before kneeling next to your seat. “How are you holding up?”

“Other than a splitting headache, need for sleep and the impending doom of going back to reality, I’m peachy.”

“Wow, don’t kill me with enthusiasm, baby.” 

You raised a brow at him. “I don’t know how you’re still running around with a full battery, Hobi.”

Hoseok shrugged. “Actually, now that I ate, I think I could take a nap.”

“Oh?” Puckering your lips, you turned your head to look back towards the wooden door leading to the bedroom. “I mean…we still have seven hours to go, why not?”

Smirking at your not-so-subtle suggestion, Hoseok stood up and held a hand out to you. “Come on, sleepyhead.”

Beaming up at him, you took his hand and let him pull you up, walking with him towards the back. He opened the door and shut it behind you, motioning for you to lie down and get comfortable on the bed. You kicked off your shoes and took the spot close to the window, glad that you opted for pants on the trip back; you had a feeling that this was going to be a deep sleep.

Hoseok took the space next to you, laying on his side as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, giving your cheek a nuzzle. “Ah, much better.”

“Mhm!”

The two of you closed your eyes as you prepared to drift off into sleep until you giggled at a sudden memory. 

“What’s so funny, sweetheart?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” You trailed off with a smile on your lips. “I was thinking about how it all started in this very room.”

“Ah…yeah, it did, didn’t it?”

Now you opened your eyes, turning your head to see Hoseok doing the same. “Hobi, if you didn’t make that offer to me, do you…do you think we’d be like this right now?”

Hoseok pondered over your question for a few seconds until he nodded. “Honestly, yes…I think with being around you for a whole week like this, I would have slipped at some point or another. What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Would you have said anything if I never did?”

You bit your lip as you contemplated. Seeing as how it took all of this nonsense to even realize how you felt about Hoseok, you couldn’t say yes with confidence. “I don’t know…I don’t think I would have noticed if you didn’t say anything.”

Hoseok gave you an understanding smile, reaching up to brush a hair out of your face. “I guess that Dom Perignon looks like it’s worth all that money now, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. “No, it’s still overpriced as hell, don’t think I’ll ever let you live that down.”

“Oh, come on!”

Giggling at the look of feigned hurt on his face, you pecked his lips. “Tell you what? Why don’t you finally give me that lecture on vintage wine prices after we wake up?”

At your suggestion, Hoseok’s face lit up like he was a kid in a candy store. He gave you a longer kiss, pulling away with a pleased sound. “Sounds like a plan.”

Beaming back at him just as hard, you motioned him to get comfortable once more so the two of you could finally get some rest. Snuggling up to him, the smile on your lips lingered even as your eyes fluttered closed. You allow sleep to finally take over you, leaving all thoughts of reality to cast off into the distance. But deep down in your heart, you knew that everything would work out no matter what.

©bangtanintotheroom, 2022. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.

[strangeswift]

So my sick little brain likes to write Mike resenting Will for making him feel gay feelings, because of his internalized homophobia. But what if we switched those roles for funzies ;) Here's what I'm thinking:

What if: When Mike came to find Will after the rain fight, Mike came alone. And when he found Will, Will was still beating the shit out of Castle Byers. (And the Mindflayer fucks off just for a sec so he doesnt activate Will's spidey sense until after the gay angst because fun fact the Mindflayer loves gay angst.)

Anyway so Mike's like, "Will! What are you doing?! Will!" And Will doesn't turn around to face him, just drops the bat and falls to the ground sobbing. Then Mike rushes to try and help him up, but Will pushes him away and is still sobbing and saying, "Don't touch me. Don't touch me. It is your fault. It is."

Mike's confused, but first and foremost he wants to make sure Will is okay. He kneels down in the mud and the rain and wraps his arms around Will.

Will starts to try to push him away again but quickly gives up, putting his face in his hands and sobbing into them. And while still hiding his face Will says, "I don't want to be like this. I didn't ask for this. I can’t do this anymore, Mike. I can't-- he was right about me. Everyone was right about me, I don't know how they knew. I didn't know. Not until you-- you made me feel-" (dramatic pause and he lifts his head to look at Mike) "It is your fault."

And our poor sweet Mike, he doesn't really get it. He doesn't realize the full extent of what Will is implying. But he starts to apologize, and that's when Will feels his Mindflayer spidey sense and he touches the back of his neck and is all like "He's back." (You know all creepy like he does in the real scene.) So Mike doesn't get to properly apologize cuz they get distracted by that.

And then they never talk about it cuz at first they're too distracted with the Mindflayer and then neither of them wants to bring it back up cuz they both are confused about the others feelings and have internalized homophobia out the wazoo.

[writethelifeyouwant]

Sam Winchester Masterlist

Aversion Therapy

Summary: Y/N has been institutionalised for sex addiction at an experimental facility, run by Dr. Sam Winchester. Pairing: Doctor!Sam x Reader Rating: 18+ Warnings: Sex addiction, addiction therapies, abuse of therapist/patient relationship, noncon roleplay Tags: hair pulling, crotchless panties, degradation (like, a lot), blow job, spitting, pussy spanking, sex on a desk, body writing, p in v, pulling out Word Count: 4.5k (oneshot)

Control

Summary: Sam and Castiel are helping Jack to master his powers, which includes practicing how to control human actions. Pairing: Winklinsitel (Jack x Sam x Cas) Rating: 18+ Tags: mind control (consensual), BDSM relationship, sub!Sam, dom!Cas, dom!Jack, punishment, masochism, self-inflicted sexual torture, CBT (cock and ball torture), light humiliation, edging, orgasm denial Word Count: 3.3k (oneshot)

Dolly

Summary: Idk what to tell you guys, this is basically some degradation pwp, enjoy. Pairing: Sam x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: BDSM relationship, dollification, sub ownership, denial, degradation, kneeling Word Count: 935 (drabble)

Get Down

Summary: Another Winchester x Jody fill for the kink bingo - a follow on from “Thanks for the Pie” but can be read as a standalone. Pairing: Sam x Jody Rating: 18+ Tags: dom!Sam, oral sex (m rec) , fingering (f rec), fuck buddies, neighbors, non hunting AU Word Count: 502 (drabble)

Good Influence (Part 2)

Summary: Jody thinks having Sam and Dean around is a good influence on Claire and Alex. Claire has stopped acting so aggressively and Alex is starting to come out of her shell a little more; if only she knew the real reason why… Pairing: Sam x Alex Jones Tags: teenage angst, loss of virginity, nerves, gentle!Sam, car sex, dry humping, oral (m rec), fingering, p in v, praise kink out the wazoo, size kink WC: 6.3k (mini series part)

Hands Off

Summary: When someone mistakes you and Dean for a couple during a hunt, Dean decides it’s his duty as a friend to find you a man. Little does he know, Sam’s already taking care of that. Pairing: Sam x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: secret dating, angsty, Dean is a moron, Dean is a wingman, Sam gets jealous, pre-smut Word Count: 2.8k (oneshot)

Just Once More

Summary: Sam’s birthday is coming up, and Dean wants to give him something he’s always wanted. Pairing: Sam x Reader | Dean x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: oral fixation, over stimulation, praise kink, dom / sub relationship, sub sharing, oral sex (f rec), squirting Word Count: 2.7k (oneshot)

Pretty Boy 

Summary: When Spencer comes across a viral TedTalk, he’s stunned to see he recognises the speaker. Pairing: Sam Winchester (SPN) x Spencer Reid (CM) Rating: 18+ Tags: implied one night stand, college bar, questionable decision making, flashbacks, Stanford!Sam, virgin!Spencer, making out, grinding, back alley blow jobs Word Count: 2.2k (oneshot)

Show Me

Summary: Jack goes to Sam and Dean for advice about girls and sex, and Sam turns out to be an excellent teacher. Pairing: Sam x Jack x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: Bi!Jack, Bi!Sam, Age Difference, Pseudo-Incest, First Kiss, Mutual Masturbation, Sexting, Phone Sex, Sex Toys, Fleshlight, Sloppy Seconds, Pining!Sam, Eventual Dom/Sub Relationship, Dom!Sam, Switch!Jack, Sub!Reader, Threesome, Instruction Kink, dom!Sam, switch!Jack, sub!Reader, Dom/Sub relationship, polyamorous relationship, threesome, BDSM, rewards, punishments, Daddy kink, Daddy!Sam, first times, p in v, dirty talk, sex toy, doggy style, anal sex, daisy chain, breeding kink Word Count: 21.2k (mini series)

SPN A/B/O Bingo Drabble 1

Summary: Sam and Jess are idiots in love, this is just a cute fluffy drabble, it literally doesn't even have a title. Pairing: Sam x Jess Rating: 13+ (for swearing) Tags: Fluff, Omegaverse, Scent Mixing, Sam is clueless, Brady sorts him out, presentations can be whatever you want them to be Word Count: 1.1k (oneshot)

Stop Apologising

Summary: When a spell goes wrong and puts the Bunker out of action for the night while Rowena reverses the damage done, Y/N and Sam have to crash in a nearby motel. Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: crack, smut, magic is dangerous kiddos, only one bed, oral sex (m rec) Word Count: 1.3k (oneshot)

Told You So

Summary: Jack doesn’t believe that Sam can make him come without touching his dick. Pairing: Sam Winchester x Jack Kline Rating: 18+ Tags: sex toys, dom/sub, wrist restraints, coming untouched, dirty talk, slut shaming, choking, cum eating Word Count: 2.3k (oneshot)

[thegreatobsesso]

The Insuppressible Electra Ray: A duology.

A good villain sees themselves as the hero of their own story. THE INSUPPRESSIBLE ELECTRA RAY, a 240K upmarket duology told from four points of view, features a hero dead convinced that she’s the villain.

Electra enjoys a life of infamy from inside a prison cell, where every day of her silence brings a fresh new hot take.

Like, she’s what happens when power is left unchecked. Having magic turns normal people into maniacs; look how she ripped that poor boy’s magic right out, left him cold and dead on the forest floor. People shouldn’t be allowed to have that kind of power and she’s the perfect example. A cautionary tale.

Wait. Maybe it’s the opposite.

Surely she knows the war against magic is coming and Peter was too lily-livered to use his power against their enemies, but she isn’t. She’s a soldier. A strategist.

Or maybe she’s nothing but an apex predator. The monster under the bed. Pure, simple evil.

It’s all a bunch of bullshit, and when a fellow prisoner whispers of an arcane artifact lying deep in the caves below Delaney School for Magicians, it sounds like it just might be the perfect time to start making some noise.

Breaking out won’t be easy; they’ve stuffed her full of enough magic suppressants to kill an ox. But she also happens to be the only magician alive who can burn that garbage off like carbs. Plus, Delaney was Electra’s childhood home, so she knows every inch of the castle; every flickering enclave, nautilus staircase, and ivory-carved constellation in its soaring ceilings.

And before you go mistaking that for nostalgia or anything so saccharine and unproductive, know that she’d raze it to the ground to get that artifact and the power it holds into her unrepentant hands – the power to reshape reality in her own viciously exquisite image.

Because if Electra Ray is anything, she’s the fucking end.

The Insuppressible Electra Ray mixes parallel redemption and corruption arcs, enemies-to-friends slow burns, twisted queer feelings, cinematic magic fights, and unapologetically bombastic dialogue into a steaming cauldron that’s been stirred long enough to form a thick, spicy two-book series, not for the faint of heart. 

Peter Silver’s best friend, Simon Bell: A magician who grew up with Peter, just as strong, but a telepath. A genuinely decent guy who never thinks he’s trying hard enough. Cinnamon roll. 🗝

Peter Silver’s sister, Eve Silver: A medium. Can speak to the dead but does everything she can to avoid it. Cares deeply for Peter but if you’re not Peter you wouldn’t know it. Geneticist. Stoic as a marble statue but simmering under the surface. 🔬

Peter Silver’s .. ?? .., Electra Ray. Your worst nightmare. The best night of your life. Fireworks on legs; nice legs. Dumpster queen. 👠

magic // castlecore // women with deep, deep issues // queerness // diverse cast // found family // WHY don’t you hate me? // the chaotic one and the stoic one // roaring fires // snow // genetics // deep interpersonal drama without a sniff of romance // begrudging fondness // telepathy // angst and fluff in damn near equal measure // spirituality // childhood trauma can take many forms // I hate you but I’ll work with you for this very specific purpose and I won’t like it // empathy // dialogue out the wazoo // what the fuck does being a good person look like? // enemies-to-besties // slow-burn everything

Finished at ~240K and querying!

@avrablake​ @adie-dee​ @dontjudgemeimawriter​ @ryorine​ @thelaughingstag​ @winterandwords​ @afoolandathief​ @asomeoneperson​ @cedar-west​ @diphthongsfordays​ @lowslore​ @poetinprose​ @cilly-the-writer​​​​​​​​ @harps-for-days​

Comment to be added or removed :)

[toiletwipes]

and i'd give up forever to touch you

the masterlist

COMPLETED!

Summary: Simpbur has done everything he can to get closer to his comfort streamer, from donating large sums of money, to applying and getting accepted to the same college, to even getting a different job just to afford her. And yet, he's been unable to get to touch her, to talk to her.

And then you come in. It's simple, practice and record a cover for your listening experience only, and he can get close to the girl of his dreams. Except things get complicated.

Because for the first time in his life, someone likes him for himself. And it's not the girl he's been chasing for years.

main masterlist

WARNING: this story is rated 18+, minors dni

Fic Playlist &lt;3 (made and curated by michelle/music anon, love them so so much for doing this &lt;333)

Rosie's Playlist &lt;3 (ALSO BY MICHELLE/MUSIC ANON AAAAAAAA)

CHAPTERS

01. the mortifying ordeal of being known (aug. 15, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

02. will's social ineptitude (aug. 16, 2021) ~1.6k words. ao3 link.

03. eyes on fire (aug. 17, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

04. just the two of us (aug. 19, 2021) ~2.4k words. ao3 link.

05. don't vandalize pianos propaganda (aug. 21, 2021) ~2.4k. ao3 link.

06. normalcy (aug. 23, 2021) ~2.2k words. ao3 link.

07. opening up, inside and out (aug. 26, 2021) ~2.1k words. ao3 link.

08. saturday, wait (aug. 31, 2021) ~1.7k words. ao3 link.

09. turning page (sep. 5, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

10. don't wanna talk (sep. 12, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

11. have i found you? (sep. 23, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

12. unspoken, unbroken (oct. 7, 2021) ~1.7k words. ao3 link.

13. you're so golden (oct. 21, 2021) ~2.3k words. ao3 link.

14. tommy eat world (nov. 13, 2021) ~2.5k words. ao3 link.

15. the bill comes due (dec. 5, 2021) ~2.1k words. ao3 link.

16. a haze, a brief moment of clarity (dec. 16, 2021) ~3k words. ao3 link.

17. ah yes, what could go wrong? (dec. 16, 2021) ~3k words. ao3 link.

18. a wreck you cannot look away from (jan. 5, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

19. choking on the toxins (jan. 9, 2022) ~3.3k words. ao3 link.

20. catching up (feb. 2, 2022) ~3.8k words. ao3 link.

21. neon lives (feb. 17, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

22. the party's wake (feb. 21, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

23. from stage left, enters rosie (mar. 7, 2022) ~3.9k words. ao3 link.

24. you're fucked (may 14th, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

25. a little self-indulgence (jul. 21, 2022) ~3k words. ao3 link.

26. tell me we both matter, don't we? (aug. 26, 2022) ~3.4k words. ao3 link.

27. the cruel beast / i am seen (sep. 2, 2022) ~5k words. ao3 link.

28. cirice (sep. 3, 2022) ~5.5k words. ao3 link.

29. epilogue / the start of something new (sep. 6, 2020) ~3k words. ao3 link.

total word count (this is more for me than it is for y'all skdhdhd): ~82.9k words.

With that being said, this will be updated as I go &lt;;33

extra chapters!! strays from the canon timeline!! because I have ideas that don't fit it but still want to share with y'all!!

01. you'd bleed just to know you're alive (sep. 19, 2021) ~800 words.

02. all i can breathe is your life (sep. 30, 2021) ~3.4k words.

03. subdued (apr. 1, 2022) words.

warnings: simpbur being a "bit of a stalker", mhmhm angst tho, then! a tiny amount of comfort, there will be smut eventually I promise, slow burn, college au, band au, x reader type beat, mmm i tag it as simpbur x y/n but I don't always like using y/n so mostly I use the word you or allude to using your name, iris by the goo goo dolls cover, simpbur is tall awkward and social inept to deal with a fan, right person wrong time 💀, i have to say it again: angst out the wazoo, oh yeah there's going to be smut so minors you're not allowed to read this fic even if there's far and few adult scenes, this is a story written about and for adults only.

i tag as i go

tag list: @ruminationnn @ghostburlovebot @waterproofgravy @roygbivvie @boiled-onionrings @mayempress @comonlokbut2 @tiredofsatansbullshit @serendipityryn @facelessmatchstick @dogsandrocketsocks @unhelpfulghosty @struggling-with-time @spilltheearlgrey @dreamwvrld @despicablenotions @jubileelineee @the-icarus-thatneverflew @jessica89diangelo @fischlvonluftschloss @ninkieminjaj @savannahjade1208 @ghostwriteser

The tag list is currently closed!!

(if you do not have an age in your bio/if you're a minor, i will not put you on the tag list)

The Review Column

"... is good soup." - @wolfie-doggo

"mother kay says yes." - @dreamwvrld

[drabbles-mc]

Really That Simple

Horacio Carrillo x Steve Murphy

Gift for thee love of my life @narcolini for the Narcos Fanfiction Exchange 2022

Warnings: 18+, language, mentions of blood/injuries, steamy things/implied smut (it’s hate-fucking hours out here and we love that), angst, repressed feelings out the wazoo

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: I know that this pairing isn’t everyone’s bag and that’s fine. But y’all writing this fic rejuvenated me as a writer in a way that I cannot fully explain. I love these horrid little men. I am still having. So many thoughts about these two.

Narcos Taglist: @garbinge @thesandbeneathmytoes @bruxasolta @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @alm0501 @panagiasikelia @616wilsons @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @nessamc @southotheborder @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @mysun-n-stars @raincoffeeandfandoms @bport76 @marrianena @passionatewrites​ @ashlingnarcos​ (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Carrillo sighed deeply as the two of them left the scene of their botched excursion in the rearview. The fact that this was the case, proved that two miracles had taken place. One, that they didn’t get killed, by anyone else or by each other. Two, that the car still managed to work even after the sides getting riddled with bullets. How neither of them nor the car managed to get hit somewhere vital was beyond all reasoning. Steve didn’t much believe in god these days but someone or something must’ve been looking out for them.

Or maybe whoever, whatever it was, was just dragging it out for the sake of enjoyment. He and the colonel had made it through the thick of it, but with each exasperated sigh and shake of his head, Carrillo seemed like he was getting closer and closer to pulling the car over and putting a bullet in Steve’s back himself. The DEA agent had simply been hoping that the man would cool off, maybe even take a brief second to enjoy the fact that they didn’t fucking die when they probably should have. He should’ve known better.

So, despite the fact that he had one arm limp, sticky with drying blood after a bullet had torn through it, despite the fact that Carrillo was definitely the reason he didn’t catch a second bullet, one to the skull, despite that maybe the mess that they’d gotten into was his fault more than Carrillo’s, Steve still found himself gearing up for an argument. If it was going to be the last thing that he got to say, he might as well go out doing something that he did best—getting under Carrillo’s skin.

“If you got something to say, Colonel,” the use of the title sounded more sarcastic than anything else, “just fucking say it. Before you suck up all the oxygen in here.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” he shot back, “considering we have more holes than doors,” he stopped himself before continuing, the thanks to you was implied clearly enough without him having to say it.

Steve let his head drop back against the headrest, shutting his eyes but still not done with the conversation, “Let’s just get this over with now before we get back to the base. If you’re gonna ream me out, you don’t gotta do it in front of a bunch of officers who hate me almost as much as you do.” Steve heard Carrillo scoff, and mumble something under his breath in Spanish. He sat upright a little more, turning to face the man driving the car, “What was that?”

Carrillo didn’t take his eyes off the road, but his voice was clear, condescendingly so, “Almost.”

Steve rolled his eyes—he was too tired, too angry, too fed up with the constant power struggle that he had been locked in with the man next to him since the day that he set foot in Medellín. “Why?” he asked, studying Carrillo’s face, knowing that his expression would say more than his words ever would.

His brows came together, “Why what, Agent Murphy?”

“Why do you have such a problem with me? I,” he waved his good hand dismissively, “I get you gotta hate all of us gringos a certain amount to keep your credit as a Colombian Colonel or whatever. I know you can’t let me have an easy fuckin’ time of anything. But what the fuck did I do that makes it so impossible for you to work with me?” he almost said to like me, but he felt that would be a step too far. He also didn’t really know if Carrillo particularly liked anyone—perhaps that would be asking a bit too much.

Carrillo was white-knuckling the steering wheel by this point. His jaw was clenched tight as he shook his head, “You think it’s so simple. You always think everything is so fucking simple.”

Steve’s laugh was sarcastic, hollow, “Trust me, I’ve figured out quick since getting down here that nothing we do here is simple.”

“None of it anywhere is simple,” he snapped, “That’s the whole fucking point. Was life simple for you back in Miami? Did it only get complicated when you came down here?” Steve’s silence spoke volumes, and Carrillo scoffed, “Then you weren’t paying attention until you got here.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asked, further proving the other man’s point.

“I’m not going to spell it out for you,” Carrillo was heavily contemplating driving both of them off the road just to save them from having to continue this conversation, or any conversation, really.

Steve took a deep, calculated breath, knowing that his response to that statement was going to make or break what happened for the rest of the drive. The wrong response and he had no doubt that Carrillo would boot him directly out of the moving vehicle, leave him to be Javier’s problem or whoever else was going to get stuck on pick-up duty.

He exhaled sharply through his nose, the wound in his arm cutting down on his ability to talk with his hands the way that he preferred to when he was angry, “You say all that shit about not wanting to spell things out for me. Fine. But you can’t fuckin’ expect people to do what you want them to if you don’t fucking tell them what you want.”

Carrillo rolled to a stop at a red light, glancing over at Steve, frustration still rolling off of him in waves, “You’re saying that if I told you what I wanted you to do you would just do it?” he took one hand off the wheel and Steve could tell that he was fighting the urge to slam it back down onto it, “Is that what that was back there? You doing what you were told?”

Some of Steve’s anger diffused, but only slightly. If they still hadn’t been dealing with the unfortunate fallout of the situation, maybe he would’ve had a better argument for it all. But, as it stood, he was getting blood all over the console and seat of Carrillo’s CNP vehicle so he didn’t have much room to defend himself on this one.

“It doesn’t usually go like that,” Steve half-mumbled.

“It only has to go worse than that once to cost all of us everything.”

He could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t a sentimental statement. Carrillo wasn’t waxing poetic about how losing him would take a large emotional toll. Still, he felt like Carrillo was being a little dramatic about it, which wasn’t quite like him. “The wheels always keep turning. Just a matter of who’s left to turn them.”

Carrillo’s laugh was hollow as the light turned green and the car started moving again, “You think that’s how it would go? If we—if I lost an American DEA agent during all of this?” he shook his head, “No. Search Bloc loses me? They’ll find another colonel to replace me. They’d probably be happy to do it. But if we lose an American? That’s when the wheels would stop.”

“You really think they’d—”

“Yes,” he cut Steve off, “I do.”

Steve thought on it for a moment, and even if he was starting to see the colonel’s point, he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of saying it out loud. “So, what?” he grimaced as another jolt of pain went through his arm, “Gonna put me in some fucking bubble-wrap?”

Carrillo pressed his lips into a thin line, “After today, Murphy? That seems more likely than you actually taking direction. We’ll see.”

There it was. The two of them could never be too honest for too long. Either of them making the effort to be real with each other always had to be quickly coated over with barbs and snide comments. Anything other than that felt like they were getting too close to finding common ground. Getting along too well would rock the boat, and that was the last thing that they needed.

“You say that all the time about me,” Steve shook his head, turning to look out the window, “But it’s not like Javi is any better.”

Carrillo’s voice was perfectly even, “But you’re not Peña.”

“Yea,” Steve scoffed out a laugh, “Thanks for the reminder.”

Part of Carrillo wanted to say, “That wouldn’t be a bad thing if you didn’t make it one,” but he stopped himself. He wasn’t going to give Steve any spare kindness just because he was bleeding on the console. The colonel had never been one to pity anyone and he wasn’t going to start now, especially not with Steve.

“You should keep pressure on your arm.”

Steve rolled his eyes but he did make a little bit more of an effort to pin his arm to his side despite the exhaustion he was feeling, “If I bled out, I wouldn’t be your problem anymore.”

“It won’t kill you,” Carrillo said plainly, “It’ll just make a mess.”

“Yea,” Steve laughed sarcastically, “because this car is in such good shape right now.”

Carrillo almost smiled, almost chuckled, but he stopped himself, “Again—it didn’t have to be like this.”

“How long till we’re back at the base?” Steve asked, changing the subject

“Hospital first,” Carrillo corrected, “Then we’ll go back.”

Steve sighed heavily, “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

“No,” his tone was sharp.

“You just said that it’s not—”

“You’re going,” he wasn’t in the mood for another drawn out argument.

Neither of them said anything more for the rest of the drive. When he parked the car, Carrillo quickly stepped out. He was at least going to do Steve the bare minimum courtesy of opening the car door for him since he was essentially only working with one arm, but Steve kicked the door open before he could.

“Don’t wait for me,” he wanted to wave the colonel off but he couldn’t, “I’ll get a cab back to the base.”

“No,” Carrillo said as he followed him into the hospital.

“Why not?”

He raised his eyebrows slightly, “Because that’s a stupid plan,” he saw Steve open his mouth to argue and cut him off before he could really start, “This isn’t going to take long. I’ll wait. No point in risking riding alone now.”

“Colonel—”

“Just get your fucking arm taken care of, Agent Murphy,” he pointed in the way that he should start heading, “Take the direction for once.”

Steve’s jaw was clenched as he weighed out whether or not he wanted to put up more of a fight about it. He didn’t want to just prove that Carrillo had been right about him all along, but he also didn’t want to just give in to his demands either. This wasn’t a mission—he wasn’t beholden to what the man said.

Carrillo could see that Steve was trying to figure out his play. Despite his exhaustion and his desire to wrap this all up so he could just go the fuck home, he didn’t say anything else. He just stood there, waiting to see if Steve was really going to put up a fight about it. He tried his best to keep a neutral expression, knowing that if he got mad, it would just give Steve more of a reason to push back against him.

Their standoff was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. They both turned to see a young nurse standing there, looking a little nervous knowing that she was probably intruding on something, but also unable to ignore Steve’s arm.

“Have you been seen yet, sir?” the answer was obvious but she figured it would give him the out if he was going to leave.

“No,” Carrillo cut in and answered for him, “He hasn’t.”

Steve shook his head at the man but reined in his frustration, not wanting to take it out on the poor girl who was just trying to do her job. She held her arm out, motioning for him to follow her, “Right this way, then,��� Steve fell into stride beside her and she could feel the irritation he was giving off, “We’ll try to get you in and out as quickly as we can, sir.”

“Steve,” he corrected her gently, sensing her apprehension, and he supposed that he couldn’t blame her, “You can just call me Steve.”

She nodded as she pushed open the door to a small examination room, “Okay. Take a seat, Steve. I’ll be back with some things to help fix up your arm.”

The young nurse was true to her word, making quick work of cleaning and stitching Steve up. She even went and grabbed him a fresh shirt, not wanting to make him put on the polo he’d previously been wearing that was caked in blood. She’d offered to put it in a bag for him if he was really attached to it and wanted to take it home to clean, but he just told her to toss it. The plain white short-sleeve that she’d given him would work just fine until he got back to his apartment, then it would get tossed into the drawer with all the others.

When he walked back out towards the lobby where he’d left Carrillo, it took him a moment to realize that it was Steve waiting for him, the fresh shirt and bandages throwing him off a bit. He looked up at Steve from the chair he was sitting in, immediately making the decision to stand up when he realized how much he didn’t exactly like having to look so far up at him.

“Looks like they got to you too,” Steve gestured to the tiny bandage over the cut on the side of Carrillo’s head.

“Wasn’t worth the argument,” Carrillo’s tone was flat, but his eyes zeroed in on Steve’s freshly bandaged arm.

“Sure,” Steve didn’t give him any cue about leaving other than simply turning and walking towards the door, “with them it’s not worth the argument.”

“They’re a bit more sympathetic,” he said with a shake of his head as he walked past Steve, opening the car door and sliding behind the steering wheel.

They were already on the road again when Steve responded, “I got shot for you,” he said, and it was half a joke, half not, “That doesn’t get your sympathy?”

The tension was instantly back in Carrillo’s shoulders, “You didn’t get shot for me,” he stepped on the gas pedal a little more abruptly than necessary, his turn off of the main street and onto the dirt side road more abrupt than it needed to be just because he could, “You got shot because of you.”

It was far from the worst thing that Carrillo had ever said to him in his time in Colombia, but for some reason it was the last straw. Steve shook his head, “Turn around.”

“What?” it wasn’t often that Carrillo seemed genuinely confused, but the demand definitely caught him off-guard.

“Turn the fucking car around,” Steve said, expanding on his previous instruction, “Drop me back at the hospital. I’ll have Javi or someone come and get me.”

“Don’t—”

“Or pull over,” he pointed to a turnoff on the side of the desolate road, “Just let me out of the fucking car.”

“Murphy—”

“Do it!” it wasn’t the first time Steve had gotten loud with the colonel, but this felt different.

It felt so different, in fact, that Carrillo actually gave in. He didn’t have any intention of actually leaving Steve stranded on the side of the road, but whatever the DEA Agent felt he had to do to get the anger out of his system, Carrillo would give him that. If for no other reason than to know what it was about to turn into.

The car had barely rolled to a stop when Steve flung the door open and stepped out. He still didn’t have full range of motion in his arm, but it didn’t stop him from reaching and raking his hands back through his hair in frustration, chest rising and falling dramatically as his anger continued to bubble over.

Carrillo cut the engine, leaving the keys on the center console that was still smeared with Steve’s blood from the drive over. Shutting the door behind him, he walked around to the other side of the car where Steve was angrily pacing and muttering only god knew what under his breath. All the years of little digs and minor acts of insubordination, and one of them finally cracked. Carrillo wondered if Steve was going to try and swing on him with his good arm or what. He was more curious than anything.

“I’m not just going to leave you stranded here Agent Mur—”

He didn’t get the rest of Steve’s name out, words falling by the wayside as Steve closed the distance between them in two freakishly long strides, proceeding to slam the man up against the side of the car. Steve’s fists were balled tight into Carrillo’s fatigues, tempted to lift him off the ground the way a high school bully would before shoving an underclassman into a locker.

Carrillo couldn’t deny that the action caught him off-guard—it certainly hadn’t been what he was expecting. He could feel Steve’s breath against his skin, their faces closer than they’d ever been before. He could see the anger clear as day in Steve’s eyes, but he still hadn’t said anything. Carrillo kept his mouth shut.

“Why not? Huh?” Steve’s hands were shaking but he refused to loosen his grip, “You don’t want me to be your problem anymore? Fine. Drive the fuck away.”

What Carrillo really wanted to say was that he couldn’t drive away with Steve pinning him to the side of the car. Instead, what came out was, “You’re bleeding again.”

Steve’s eyes flicked to the bandages on his arm, the white gauze slowly turning red, “Fuck,” he cursed, shaking his head but still not letting go.

Carrillo could’ve easily pushed him away, but he didn’t. There were countless opportunities throughout this whole thing for him to get the upper hand and yet he let Steve have the win. It was curious, since he never really let Steve have the win under any other circumstance—hence the argument.

“Let’s say I leave you here,” Carrillo’s tone clearly conveyed how much he was trying to get a rise out of Steve now, “then what, hm? You fucking wait here just to see me again later tonight? Or tomorrow morning? What does it get you?”

The tic in Steve’s jaw was impossible to miss as he tried to string his words together, “What the fuck do you want from me, Carrillo? Honestly, what would get you off my fucking back?”

He shook his head, “Nothing. That’s the whole fucking point, Steve.”

All of his years in Colombia and Steve could confirm with certainty that Carrillo had never used his first name. And vice versa. It was always gringo, or carne fresca, or Agent Murphy, or whatever other insults the man could come up with on the fly. But never Steve.

His grip loosened slightly, the relief instant in his injured arm although the rest of his body, and his entire brain, were on the brink of short-circuiting. Carrillo’s eyes didn’t waver from his. The DEA agent’s chest was still rising and falling with each deep breath, and he felt like his heart was about to burst clean out of his ribcage, from adrenaline or anger he wasn’t quite sure which. On the other hand, Carrillo’s breathing was frighteningly even, arms still hanging limply by his sides like he wasn’t even worried about the possibility of Steve losing his shit and hauling off for real.

“So,” each word Steve spoke felt like a herculean effort, “that’s it, then? Nothing is ever going to be good enough?”

He didn’t respond to the accusation. Instead, he took a beat and said, “Are you ready now, Agent Murphy?” his voice toeing the line between professional and sarcastic.

It was the strangest feeling of disappointment that Steve had ever experienced. The disappointment quickly shifted right back to anger as he pressed his forearm harder against the Carrillo’s chest, “No.”

Carrillo froze for a second, “What?”

“I’m not—I’m not fuckin’ ready.”

He was trying to keep his breathing under control, but Carrillo wondered if Steve could feel the erratic beating of his heart against his arm. Even with guns pointed to his head before, the colonel had never felt quite like this. Life and death scenarios had a simplicity to them that this situation didn’t. The harder that Steve leaned into him, the more weight he pushed onto his chest, the closer the two of them became.

Carrillo was trying to force himself to say something, some sort of scathing comment to get him out of whatever this mess was about to turn into, but he couldn’t. Steve’s eyes had him pinned harder than his arm, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to fucking think.

And Steve could see it. Despite the frustration and the conflicting feelings of inadequacy while also thinking that maybe Carrillo owed him a little bit of a thank you every now and again, Steve knew that in this moment he had the upper hand. And he never had the upper hand with Carrillo. Towering over him had never felt so good.

Steve felt the shift in the man’s breathing, the change in how his chest pressed against his arm. He knew from the look in Carrillo’s eyes that he was gearing up so say something, or to finally, maybe, fight back. Steve didn’t know what was coming next, but the second the colonel’s lips parted to try and speak, Steve robbed him of the opportunity by crashing their lips together.

It was sloppy, tense, awkward, but Carrillo didn’t push him away. It would’ve taken nothing for him to drop Steve to the ground, and even though this was all Steve’s doing, he was a little surprised that the colonel hadn’t done just that.

His arm shifted, fist finally unfurling as he went from pinning Carrillo to the car with his arm, to doing it with his entire body, his hand roughly cupping Carrillo’s jaw, biting at the man’s lip like it was the only way he knew how to get rid of the frustration that had been bubbling up inside of him. His other arm braced against the side of the car beside Carrillo’s head, almost caging the man in but not quite. Carrillo’s one hand gripping tightly onto Steve’s forearm, not pulling him away, not trying to get him to release the harsh grasp on his jaw, just trying to match the energy the only way he could think to.

“Fuck,” the word fell from Steve’s lips, somewhere between a grunt and a whisper as he pulled away.

Before he knew what he was doing, Carrillo tightened his hold on Steve’s arm, twisting his grip slightly to gain a little more control. Steve felt the shift, too, eyes darting back and forth between Carrillo’s eyes and his lips. They were already long past the point of no return. Carrillo knew that. Steve knew that. As they both stood there, bodies pinned against each other on the side of the road in the middle of fucking nowhere, they each wondered if the other knew.

“Fuck,” Steve repeated, his tone different this time, almost like he was admitting defeat.

Carrillo was afraid that that was it. What was more alarming to him was the fact that he didn’t want that to be it. The exasperation in Steve’s voice almost made him protest but at the last second, he realized that Steve’s sense of defeat was because he was giving in. Hardly a second later he was everywhere, lips on his, hands all over, one leg wedging itself between Carrillo’s as he pushed harder against him. There wasn’t an ounce of gentleness.

It wasn’t often that someone bested Carrillo, was able to get any sort of upper hand on him. Even more rare than that were the times that he would ever let someone have any kind of advantage over him. But there he was, allowing himself to be used and bruised by Steve fucking Murphy of all people.

Steve’s lack of grace, lack of finesse, was something that was so constant across all areas of his life. And in every other circumstance, it was one of the things that Carrillo was bothered by the most. But the messy, angry, desperate way that his hands grabbed him and pulled at his clothes had Carrillo thinking that this was the payoff for the rest of it. In the moment, it seemed like more than a fair trade. Steve’s fingers clumsily battled with the belt of Carrillo’s fatigues, and while he could’ve made it a little easier for him, he figured that he’d made things easy enough for Steve so far. A few extra seconds of struggle would be good for him.

Carrillo was about to say something, but whatever it was, Steve didn’t care to hear it. He saw the look on Carrillo’s face and before he could even take a breath to prepare, Steve cut him off, “Don’t.”

Much to both of their surprise, Carrillo listened. It was one of the few times that Steve let his actions do all of the speaking for him. There wasn’t much of a need for either of them to say much—this wasn’t some sweet confession of a moment. This wasn’t the kickoff of some sort of clandestine romance, something that would turn into a, “We’ll see where it goes,” situation behind closed doors. This was months and months of anger and annoyance and frustration coming out in the only way that didn’t involve one of them getting punched in the face. They’d finally reached a breaking point that could’ve gone one of two ways, and the silent agreement to handle it like this meant that they were going to handle the fallout the same way—silently. For all of Carrillo’s talk of everything being complicated, this was one thing that was incredibly simple.

Steve had never successfully made himself an overpowering presence until that moment. The ease with which he was so roughly maneuvering Carrillo’s body was something that he would’ve taken the time to be impressed by if his mind hadn’t zeroed in on the outcome of this so much. If his face hadn’t been so deeply buried into the crook of Carrillo’s neck, he might’ve gone on a bit of a power trip from seeing the expression on the man’s face. Carrillo’s hands were like vices in the way they held onto him so fiercely.

Then, as roughly and abruptly as it had started, it was over. Steve’s body went lax, still keeping Carrillo pinned against the car but in a much gentler manner than before as he tried to catch his breath. As his mind started to slow down, started to clear, that was when he felt Carrillo’s harsh grip still enveloping his arm, somehow narrowly missing the bandages that were much more saturated in blood than they had been a few minutes before. Steve briefly wondered if he had done that intentionally, or if it just happened to be luck. He wasn’t going to ask.

Finally peeling himself away, Steve allowed Carrillo a beat of breathing room. They each set about redressing and adjusting, neither of them saying anything to each other even in the brief moments when their eyes met. Steve’s still slightly-disheveled appearance could at least be blamed on the fact that he got shot. Aside from the mildly confused expression on his face, though, Carrillo had managed to make himself look no worse for wear. The fast rise and fall of his chest the only giveaway that anything had transpired.

When the two of them were as resituated as they were going to be, they lingered in place for a moment. Carrillo leaned back against the car, the placement much more casual than it had been a few minutes before. Folding his arm across his chest, he watched Steve watch him, unable to really read the look in the man’s eyes. Steve reached up and raked his fingers through his hair once more, looking like he was mulling over what exactly he wanted to say. Carrillo was still prepared for the worst, but without any further acknowledgment, Steve sighed, turned around and got back into the car, the door slamming behind him like a punctuation mark for the entire thing.

Carrillo frowned and shook his head before heading back to his side of the car. Steve wasn’t looking at him when he got in, too focused on the blood-soaked bandages wrapped around his arm, knowing he was going to have to switch out his bandages sooner than planned. He was shaking his head but for the first time all afternoon, Carrillo didn’t feel like it was really at him. Neither of them said anything as he put the car in drive and pulled back onto the road.

It was dark when they got back to the base. Most people had gone for the night, cars gone from the parking lot with the exception of the officers who were working overnight. Plus Steve’s and Carrillo’s. Both of them got out of the car, and they fell into stride next to each other. Steve spared a few brief glances at Carrillo, never managing to catch the man when he was looking over at Steve. They filed through the door one right after the other, and while Steve had fully intended to simply swipe his things out of his desk drawer then leave, he found himself collapsing into his chair instead.

It wasn’t until Carrillo walked off and shut his office door behind him that Steve realized how empty the base was. The few officers who were still working were out on the streets for the night, meaning that it was just Steve and Carrillo. Steve couldn’t remember the last time the place had been so quiet. Usually when he was here this late it’s because everyone was there and hustling. The stillness felt strange. As much as he wanted to get home, he couldn’t manage to force himself back up out of his seat.

He reached up to run his hands over his face and back through his hair, stopping as he winced at the pull against the injury on his arm. It was going to be annoying even if it wasn’t debilitating. He propped the elbow of his good arm on top of his desk, dropping his forehead heavily into the heel of his palm.

His eyes were still closed when he heard the sound of boots on the floor behind him. Turning around, he saw Carrillo standing there staring at him. He sighed, “What?”

“You’re still here,” Carrillo’s brows drew together.

Steve’s laugh was sarcastic as he forced himself up from his desk, landing them only inches apart, the energy markedly different now than it had been before, “And you’re still a fucking detective.”

He frowned, “Steve—”

His expression twisted at the sound of Carrillo using his name so easily, like there was real concern existing somewhere in the space between them, “Don’t,” he cut him off, harsh, quiet, “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do wh—”

“Act like,” he gestured vaguely with his good arm, “Act like we’re friends, like you have advice for me, or like you even really give a shit what’s going on with me. You don’t. You made that perfectly fuckin’ clear today,” Steve saw the look on the colonel’s face and scoffed, “I didn’t forget what you said.”

Despite it all, Steve still wasn’t brave enough to say what he really wanted to say, which was something along the lines of, “I know what happened earlier doesn’t mean that you care. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean that we’re good now.” He knew that there was no way that the colonel had gone that soft that quickly. Steve knew that there was no way that he was the first questionable decision that Carrillo had made.

“It doesn’t really matter to you if I care” Carrillo snapped, voice quiet but sharp, “We’re not different in that. So don’t stand here and act like I hurt your feelings, like you’re a victim.”

Steve huffed, shaking his head and fighting the urge to roll his eyes, “I’m not sayin’ I’m a fuckin—” he cut himself off, deciding it wasn’t worth the fight, “Fuck this,” he bypassed Carrillo, brushing harder against the man’s shoulder than necessary, “I’m going home.”

Before Steve got too far, Carrillo reached out and grabbed his arm, this time his fingers wrapped directly around the bloody bandages, “Murphy.”

Steve hissed at the sensation, yanking his arm away to try and alleviate the sting as he whipped around to face Carrillo, “What?”

Carrillo looked at him for a moment, the anger in his eyes looking so familiar but it was missing something that had been there earlier. Maybe the exhaustion finally got the better of him, maybe Carrillo was putting too much thought into all of it because of how the day had unfolded. Steve’s jaw was clenched tight as he waited for the man to say something. It didn’t take much for him to see how Carrillo was overthinking whatever it was that he wanted to say.

After a few more long seconds of silence, Steve scoffed, and shook his head, “Nothing’s changed. Some things really are that simple, Colonel. Hate to break it to you.”

“No, you don’t,” the retort came automatically.

Steve’s lips pulled down into a pensive frown for a moment as he started to turn back around again, “Go home, Carrillo. We’ve got another day of this shit tomorrow.”