#fuck me mate
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fiveholesinthefence · 23 days ago
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i gave it my all, they gave me nothing at all AND THEN WONDERED WHY I LEFT
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lxndonorris · 2 years ago
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pear at work
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alex-the-bringer-of-chaos · 2 years ago
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Excuse me, but Melle from tiktok, this beautiful individual
Like, I NEED their hair. Holy fuck, I love it. Give it to me. Like, look at this shit!
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Like, do Ik or think I could take care of this hair? Nope, not really, I'm garbage at taking care of myself. Do I love it, think it's perfect, will give me gender euphoria and could make me wanna take care of it? Yes! So please, how the fuck do we call this haircut? What is the name? Also tips on taking care of it are appreciated.
P.s: Melle is another proof of aesthetic attraction and gender envy being real, and Ik some of y'all will be going insane over them, AS YOU SHOULD! Also, I don't know the pronouns Melle uses, so we're rolling the dice on this one. Focus on the hair and check the sounds they make.
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thecontentsofyourfridge · 8 months ago
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rvbb c hhurch
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name them. now.
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drownmeincolor · 5 days ago
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why am i so nervous to ride the fucking trains?
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mutualcombat · 3 months ago
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*bites ur scruff*
[full on twitter]
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hornyverymuch · 1 month ago
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"we don't need to watch Amok Time, we have pon farr at home"
pon farr at home:
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krysmcscience · 7 months ago
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Narilambs your goat
Get adopted, idiot
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tojisun · 6 months ago
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johnny breaking in your pussy to prepare it for a bigger cock (simon’s) :(
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somerandomdudelmao · 1 year ago
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@tapakah0
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This little bunny means the world to me
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"
sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"
"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it
media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)
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the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet
#matthew tkachuk#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2425#the famous vanha kauppahalli date™#we know how bad he is at pronouncing words not in english he does not want to fuck up his husbands language in front of him#(the nhl stars try to speak german video has entered the chat)#different attitudes here lmao#“he did good” mate he was... eating food... what... what is there to praise here..?#i shivered sweet mary and joseph sasha this is how you praise maffhew? yeah id be an annoying little shit about it too#whatever they have. unexplainable. i wont even bother#im glad to see pie and cake are still very confusing for esol#somehow ive had the conversation with several different people in my lifetime and realised even i dont know what the fuck it is#in the sense that when i translate pastries into english for my american friends i just pause and go#wait... i think this is a pie... but its called a tart in spanish but its also kind of a cake? and- [windows reboot sound]#ive had to do this with pastafrola and im like please just eat it dont make me explain im gonna cry if i do#I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS IN AN ENGLISH CONTEXT BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST IN AN ENGLISH CONTEXT TO ME JUST EAT IT#“so whats the difference between a torta and a tarta and isnt a tarta kinda like a pie-” “stop asking questions you dont want answers to”#you have no idea how upset i get trying to explain#im glad sasha at least protrays a little of that frustration by going “i dont know english word” girl SAME
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vendettasfanfictioning · 1 year ago
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oh my fucking god dean had to carry cas' body to get him onto the pyre he had to carry all of cas' dead weight while the grief still clung to his shoulders he wrapped up cas' body himself and when sam mentions the meadow, he says it's where dean spread the ashes, excluding him and jack because dean wouldn't have let anyone else handle cas so dean had to be the one to carry cas from the house table to the pyre they all lost something in cas, a friend, a protector, a father, but dean lost half of his soul that night oh i am unwell and unstable with these thoughts—
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kairospy · 1 year ago
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James Potter is the kind of guy to lie about his height, just not in the conventional way. Allow me to elaborate:
He’s 6 feet even but tells every other guy he meets he’s 5’10. Why? To see the sheer panic in their eyes
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theconfusedacorn · 3 months ago
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Yall,
Who
THE FUCK
Was going to tell me that:
The guy from The Amazing Devil, is ACTUALLY a guy named Joey Batey, and that this guy, Joey Batey, PLAYS THE BARD GUY IN THE WITCHER!?
AND HE DOES MORE MUSIC FOR THE SERIES BECAUSE HES A BARD!?
HELLO!?
I COULD'VE GOTTEN MORE MUSICAL CONTENT FROM THIS MAN THIS WHOLE TIME!?
WHO THE FUCK WAS GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT "BURN BUTCHER BURN"!?
SERIOUSLY!?
WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME!?
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wow-an-unfunny-joke · 2 months ago
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Dazai leans over the edge, a strong gust of wind is all it would take to push him over, to send him falling to his sweet, ultimate demise.
Chuuya grabs his arm in a strong grip- but he doesn't pull Dazai away from the edge. Chuuya looks Dazai straight in his eyes. Bright blue eyes meet Dazai's and he says in a firm voice,
"If you jump, you'll kill both of us."
And it's clear, right then, how deeply Chuuya trusts Dazai.
And Dazai doesn't jump.
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unamused-kookaburra · 8 months ago
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You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
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