#fuck jurgen leitner

[slightlybritish]

apparently hilltop road the entire fucking time

[jajabenedykta]

Enjoy my shitty little cake for the shitty old man death anniversary

[aroace-and-has-a-mace]

statement: has good reasoning behind it, proof, and somewhat makes sense

s1 jon: utter bullshit, must’ve been drugs

statement: features one (1) book from mr. weird guy’s library

s1 jon: i believe every word of this. it is undeniably true.

[gerry-keays-blog]

Hey, I'm Gerard (but you can call me Gerry) Keay, nice to meet you.

I couldn't think of any cool, edgy usernames or whatever that weren't cringe, but I suppose I can get away with it by saying I'm edgy for putting my full legal name on the internet.

I don't take myself seriously and neither should you. We're all going to die anyway, so why not be ourselves while we attempt to live?

Also, I drew my pfp. It's very colorful and cute so I might have to change it, but that's what I have for now.

I'm an archival assistant (ish) over at the Magnus Institute, which puts me in London. It's kind of a boring gig sometimes, but you get used to it.

Hashtag FUCK JURGEN LEITNER. I hate that guy.

Speaking of boring, that's why I made this blog. For you weirdos on the internet to ask me any invasive questions you desire to distract me from my work. 🎉

Blinkies:

{OOC: GUYS I CAVED...

Hi, I'm Orion. This is Gerry in his alive era (if you couldn't tell) and he's working at the Magnus Institute with Gertrude, it can either be a Gerry Lives AU or a different time period; whatever floats your boat, friend.

I'll accept most asks, but if it's blatantly obvious hate/overly NSFW/something I don't feel comfortable answering, I will delete it.

Also you can TOTALLY rp with me. Everything is cool all the time.

Anyway, yeah. I don't really have much going on about it. Have fun and go wild!

My rather obvious tags:

#gerry answers

#not an ask

#rp chain

#gerry rambles

the rest are probably extras/ooc moments}

[theaethernetconnection]

I really need one of the patreon subs who get their donation read at the beginning of the Magnus protocol episode to give Alexander j newall the entire jurgen leitner rant. Like this is a desperate need I would loveee to hear it read in monotone like that one AAAAA I'm trapped one was that was so funny pls whoever has money plssss

[thegaynessarchives]

Fun fact I have the I hate Jurgen Leitner rant both pinned to my clipboard and saved in my notepad for easy access

[corruptedterrarium]

Everytime I re-listen to tma and get to “the librarian” episode I scream “OH BROTHER THIS GUY STINKS”

[leafyboneking]

HAPY BRUTAL PIPE MURDER DAY YALL

[caffeinated-mistake]

The Tunnels beneath the Archives:

[violently murdering Jurgen Leitner:]

[m3ntal-hiatus]

- an ancient book on darwinism, of animals eating others then themselves, till not even bones are left over. it will eat itself raw and until there’s nothing. leaves the reader with an animalistic urge to purge themselves and others in the name of evolution. tied to the extinction.

Jurgen Leitner had 978 fucked up books in his collection at it's height, but we've only heard of 26 of them officially. So I thought it would be fun to come up with some possible additions of my own.

- a diet cookbook that the recipes when eaten will cause you to literally rot from the inside out, tied to the corruption.

- a version of the Little Prince where the prince never encounters anyone else in all his travels, every world is empty save for him and never makes friends. Slowly becoming sadder and lonelier throughout the book. Tied to the lonely and possibly the vast.

- a book of songs where none of the lyrics make sense and if sung the world too will reflect the complete nonsensical patterns of the music at least to the reader. Tied to the spiral.

- a version of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark that is even more sinister and as you read an overwhelming darkness weighs down on you until it swallows the reader whole. Tied to the dark.

- a guide to gardening that possesses the reader to dig, to feel the dirt beneath their skin, and to plant themselves deep within the earth. Tied to the buried.

- a cloud charting book that deceives the reader into seeing enormous beings in the clouds looming over humanity. Tied to the vast.

- a book on communication that makes the reader more and more paranoid as they read it slowly destroying any chance on actual communication. Possibly tied to the eye.

[the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

JURGEN LEITNER?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITENER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER. STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEIN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME.

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgein leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down. if i have to deal with jurgein leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive. i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am ANGY. he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham. BETTER have had a book make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him.

paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgeinLeitner

episode's not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his library and I lost it. where the fuck is jurgein leitner if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt.

crusty old man. ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish. im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone, and everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books

No need to say thanks :3

You're damn right.

[spiralling-spires]

Being jurgen leitner the day that gerry almost killed him was probably really surreal. Imagine you’re minding your business, collecting fucked up books, and out of nowhere this goth guy covered in eye tattoos shows up and beats you half to death, then stops, goes, “no you’re too pathetic to be jurgen leitner” and leaves without further elaboration. And you dont correct him, you like being alive after all, and after that you just… continue with your life. And then several years later you tell this to some random guy in the tunnels you’ve been hiding in, and he not only knows who the goth was, but seems somewhat fond of the goth. And then you get brutal pipe murdered by the random guy’s boss. Oops

[no-tengo-ojos]

Hey Gwen! I can't help but notice that you were looking for some handy manuals and guides for your new job and there just so happens to be a library full of books for that specific need! It's called the library of Jurgen Leit- [I am shot several times]

[ananxiousgenz]

my mental state rn <3

[gerry-keays-blog]

Opinion on Jurgen Leitner?

My blog header is the Jurgen Leitner rant, which kinda sums it up better than I could.

I will say that, when I came across him, I started beating him up (as one does). But the guy was SO FUCKING PATHETIC that I decided that it wasn't him for the longest time. I wish I'd finished the job.

If he shows up again, he's gonna be in a world of hurt, that's for damn sure.

[thatmoththoth]

Happy [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] day and “FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR TRAIN” Friday to all those who celebrate.

Have a morsel