#from regular retail workers
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One of my favorite things about retail was the "kill them with kindness" approach.
Thieves in the store? Oh my goodness let me help you, what's your shopping list? It looks like you're not sure where to find something how can I help you? Oh! You almost put that back in the wrong spot, let me just take that to where it goes. Why am I in the aisle with you again? Well I just wanna make sure that everything is alright!
Someone looking to bitch about anything in particular? Oh my ma'am let me ask for the most specific instructions possible and make sure that I do this correctly. Oh you're in a rush? Well I'm sorry then we can either do it the way you want or we can get you out of here fast, both will have the same results, what do ya say?
Someone complaining about something I have no control over? Just agree with them! Oh you think it's dumb that we have to do this this way? Gosh, me too! You hate how we have to start closing? Oh me too I'm a night person I wish we stayed open a little longer, I've really hit my stride around 9pm.
Just straight up agreeing with them throws them for SUCH a loop. I've gotten scolded by superiors for not "defending the company" or for "badmouthing us" but like.. the customer was doing it first, most of the time I DO agree with them and would like it to be changed, and it keeps everyone from being yelled at. The higher ups didn't have much to say after that.
On the flip side, if you can get away with it being sassy is also very very fun.
Someone will eventually gripe about you being happy with a "crappy job" or tell you to go to school, get a real job, etc etc. Cranky with me for being "happy" (trust me 90% it's fake buddy) and asking what I'm so glad about? Dark humor time. Well sir I'm happy that I was able to get out of bed today! I'm happy I'm able to make some money! Or just straight up tell them, if they're really nasty and probably not coming back, that I'm not happy. I'm not happy but I have to pretend to be because people prefer that. I'd like to be left alone and be paid for being sleep.
Tell me I have a crappy job and ask me why I'm here? Well sir they hired me, and without me you wouldn't be able to get your stuff this conveniently. Tell me to go to school or get a real job? I'll tell ya that if I could afford to do it without massive student loans, I would. Plus I don't even know what my preferred profession is!
#retail#tales from retail#retail tales#retail stories#not always right#fuck customers#dollar general#dg#kill them with kindness#thieves#theft#karens#bullshit#yes i actually used all these#sometimes i miss retail#then i remember#my store was local#everyone knew me or my family#and i worked there for 5 years#the privileges i had#were very different#from regular retail workers#i got away with alot#cause they knew what would happen to a store#that fired a beloved or well liked person#the gas station down the street did that#they changed hands and fired the guy that worked there forever#they lost 80% of the customers#samble ramble#sambles rambles
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The Summoning
summary: so now you’re fucking your roommate on the regular, what could possibly go wrong? It’s just for the camera, right?
an: You guys!! I’m so so happy with the feedback if received for the first chapter of this fic, I want to give you guys as much camgirl!Ellie as I possibly can. So, as before, let’s keep this short and sweet so we can get into it, love you so so so much (also shout out to everyone’s comments and asks on what they wanted to see for this chapter! Yoi all helped me sm! You all know who you are hehe)
warnings: smut!! 18+, MDNI, camgirl!ellie, roommate!ellie, biker!Ellie (there’s lots of tropes in this one lol), JELOUS!ELLIE, mentions of an older woman but it’s so brief, mentions of alternate love interest, face sitting, fingering, filming of intercourse, use of strap, mentions of the word cock, ANGST!, slight fluff??, lmk if I missed anything!
You can read part 1 here!, and part 3 here!
A soft puff of air blew past your lips as you finished organizing the last shelf of records, your eyes looking down at the remainder vinyls that most definitely wouldn’t fit into any of the space you had.
God you hated the holidays.
Well you didn’t, you loved the colder months. It was so cozy, and welcoming, however you hated it as a retail worker. With the changing of the seasons came your manager with boxes of new vintage records that he explained were in high demand for the customers coming in and out of the city, all of which you had to change out and organize from the last collection you’d had for the summer time.
So the holidays were fine, just not when you were working.
Not to mention, the only thing plaguing your mind these days was a specific brunette who had quite the tongue on her.
After that night, Ellie had you rewatch the video, making sure you were okay with it, and it was okay to post. It was weird, because you’d never really seen yourself that way. You never moan too loud, or put on too much of a show during sex, it just was what it was, and it wasn’t ever really done with an audience in mind. But seeing yourself in Ellie’s lap, her strong hands running up and down your body, working on your pussy like a fucking pro, you had to admit.
You looked damn fucking good on camera.
And you weren’t the only one that thought so. After you gave Ellie the okay to post and edit the video, the response was amazing. Gone where the comments asking where Ellie’s usually girl was, missing the chemistry they had, her whiny moans and pretty body, all of which were replaced by a sea of comments and donations coming in, all on your behalf. They asked Ellie to please keep you around, putting in suggestions of what they wanted to see next, what they wanted to see her do to you, next.
Ellie wasn’t wrong, the crowd fucking loved you.
So? You filmed another video. And another, and another, and another, until you and Ellie had created nearly an entire box set of home movies for her adoring fans, all of which had become your adoring fans practically over night.
And fuck, did Ellie know what she was doing.
Sure, you’d had your fair share of good sex in the past. Your ex was pretty good with her hands, and there was that one girl you were seeing for a few months, she was okay with her strap.
But Ellie? Jesus Christ, you quickly caught onto why Julia acted the way she did after Ellie was done with her.
It was all you could think about, the way that Ellie treated your body when you were filming. The way she never failed to pay attention to every part of you before herself, the way she kissed you, the way her hands ran down your body, the way she simply knew how to pleasure a woman.
And it wasn’t like there was any real harm in any of it, right? In helping your roommate with her line of work? That’s what it was after all. You helped Ellie make her content, and she fucked you until you could barely think straight.
In simpler terms, Ellie knew how to fuck, and she knew how to fuck good. Filming with her only further proved that.
Your eyes scanned the record store once more, a stack of records in your hands as you tried looking for another place where these god forsaken vinyls could go. You were close to simply shoving them underneath the cash register, calling it a night and going home before the drunk tourists eager to visit the city got in your way of getting to your bus stop.
You spotted a spot on top of one of the shelves, which made you huff softly in annoyance. You usually avoided it since you couldn’t reach it, vowing to never put yourself out of your way for a bunch of records no one will want to buy, but there weren’t many and you figured you already had them out, so might as well finish what you started.
As you struggled to push the records up into the tall shelf, you heard the little ding at the front door of your shop over the soft music that you had playing. You couldn’t even bother to turn around, knowing it was most definitely some drunk idiot trying to buy a last minute gift for someone.
“Sorry…we’re…fuck…we’re closed” you huffed out as you struggled even further, the tips of your fingers finally pushing one of the records up and sliding it into place. You didn’t even realize you didn’t hear the usual apology paired with the bell ringing again, signaling that the person had left.
It wasn’t until you felt a hand push into the sliver of skin that was slightly exposed between your jeans and your top, making you shriek loudly and recoil from the persons touch. Once you turned around, you were prepared to smash the stack of records you had over the idiots head who thought it was okay to come in and touch random girls while they worked.
But you only came face to face with those gorgeous green eyes that you seemed to constantly see, even when she wasn’t around.
You let out a soft gasp, reaching forward and landing a not so friendly punch on her leather clad arms, a soft huff leaving your lips as you watched your roommate snort softly at you, trying to stifle a laugh.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Ellie?? I could’ve dropped these” you whine, looking down at the disheveled records before you turned around, going back to trying to pushing them back into their spot.
Ellie sighed softly as she came down from her laughing fit, setting her helmet down on the row of records next to her as she leaned against it. “Shouldn’t you be locking the door once you’re closed? Sounds like a safety hazard to me” she hummed out, clearly trying to get under your skin.
You could practically hear that stupid fucking smirk on her lips, which makes you roll your eyes, even if she was right.
“I had a customer before I started putting these away…I’ll lock up once I’m finished” you explained, still struggling with the second record you had, which makes Ellie chuckle softly.
She pushed herself off of the row she was leaned up against before she stood behind you, her chest pressing against your back, one of her hands resting on your hip, giving it a gentle squeeze, before she reached up with ease and pushed the record in with ease.
You let out a soft huff softly, looking down at her hand on your waist before you turn around, looking up at her and narrowing your eyes at the girl. “Is that really necessary?” You question as you gesture to her hand, which only makes her shrug before bringing her hand down and giving your ass a firm squeeze, “not at all. Gimme those and go grab your stuff, I’m taking you home” she explained before she promptly took the records and put them away on the shelf for you.
You simply stare at her in disbelief, watching as she put away the records with ease. She looked over at you, nodding her head towards the back where she knew you kept your stuff while you were working. “Go on. I don’t wanna get stuck in traffic” she explained, which makes you roll your eyes at her before you stomp off to go and grab your things.
Damn her for being so fucking hot.
Soon, you had your jacket on and your bag was slung over your shoulder. When you walked out to the store front to shut off the lights and the music, Ellie was scrolling through her phone, leaned up against the cashier, seemingly waiting for you. She gave you a soft smile when she noticed you were there, pushing her phone into her pocket. “Ready?” She asked, moving to grab her helmet.
You nodded, returning the soft smile before you grabbed the keys, nodding your head towards the door. “Ready” you confirm.
She followed behind you, waiting for you as you locked up the store before leading her out.
You shivered slightly when you both step out into the cold air, watching as the lights of the city illuminate the street, welcoming everyone who was in need of a night out. You just wanted to get home.
You watched as Ellie walked in front of you, setting her helmet down before she opened up her seat to grab her spare and handing it to you before she put hers on and swung her leg over her bike to get on.
Usually, Ellie didn’t pick you up from work. She was most likely busy filming with Julia, finishing up far too late to meet you at work. Sometimes, she’d be in the area and she’d pick you up, but that wasn’t something that happened quite often for you two.
But, ever since you took Julia’s place, Ellie had been picking you up a lot more often.
You took the helmet from her, putting it on your head before you got onto Ellie’s bike, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your head along her leather clad back. You heard a soft chuckle muffled by her helmet, her head turning to the side a bit as she felt you cuddle into her from behind.
"Don't need to tell you to hold on tight, do I?" She teased, which earns a soft pinch to her side from you.
Before you know it, Ellie is turning on the engine to her bike, revving it a bit, and you two are speeding down the streets of the city towards your apartment.
The feeling of the cold breeze kissing your exposed skin as Ellie drove you both down the streets made your blood pump. It was fucking stupid, but drives home with her had a way of truly making you feel alive for a bit.
You’d never tell her that, though. It would blow her head up way too much.
Ellie had a tendency to show off in many aspects of her life. One of those manifested whenever she was on her bike. She’d rev her engine when she saw a group of pretty girls, tattooed hands gripping the handles of her bike as she watched them swoon over her. She’d get a kick out of it whenever they’d squeal over her, trying their best to call her back, an attempt at trying to get her to turn around and give them more attention.
You thought it was stupid. It was just Ellie on a bike after all.
Ellie stopped once she reached a red light, her back straightening out a bit as she rested one of her hands on her thighs, patting a mindlessly rhythm into her jean clad leg as she waited for it to turn green so you could both get moving again. Your hands loosened a bit on her waist as you waited as well.
You noticed from the corner of your eye a car pulling up next to you. It’s a sleek black 1969 dodge charger, the lights of the city bouncing off of the shiny paint. It isn’t too flashy, but enough so that anyone can appreciate. You can’t help but gawk a bit at the beautiful car, not at all noticing the window slowly rolling down.
You hear a whistle, which catches both yours and Ellie’s attention. In the car, is an older woman. You took not of her features, noticing how pretty she was, long hair tucked up into a bun, body adorned in what you could only assume was an expensive suit. You notice her lips tugged beneath her teeth as her dark eyes bore holes into your direction, and you can only assume she’s gawking at Ellie, as one usually does when she’s out on her bike. As you look closer, you realize she isn’t looking at Ellie.
She’s looking at you.
And you can’t even deny that your chest doesn’t warm up, because she’s clearly extremely beautiful. Her strong, ring clad hands gripping the steering wheel as her eyes travel down your body. You didn’t think that when you tugged on your favorite pair of jeans and your old brown jacket that same morning that you’d be getting attention from anyone, let alone from a fucking rich milf in the middle of the road.
But you aren’t the only one to notice, because you feel Ellie shift forward, her own hands going back to grip the handle bars of her bike, her head never leaving the direction of the woman who’s shamelessly undressing you with her eyes. You gasp softly underneath your own helmet when the feeling of Ellie revving her bike catches you off guard, ripping you away from the trance the woman has you in. You turn your head to look at Ellie, hands tightening a bit around her waist to prepare your take off.
But Ellie’s head never leaves the woman.
This catches the woman’s attention, and she merely chuckles softly before she sticks her hand out her window and gives Ellie a slight wave, as if to silently tell her she’d back off. The light turns green, and while you think that’s the end of it, you catch a glimpse of the woman sending a wink your way before she zooms off, which prompts Ellie to do soon after, just as fast, knuckles turning white as she gripped her handle bars.
If you weren’t holding on tight enough to Ellie, you’d probably have gone flying.
When you both get home, you decide not to question the very bizarre interaction you both had with that woman, figuring it was just Ellie being Ellie, and there wasn’t really anything to it anyways.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
It makes it even stranger that when you both walk through the door, Ellie doesn’t show a single sign of annoyance, which makes you feel like you’re hallucinating even more than you were before. She’s walking into the apartment, tugging off her jacket and tossing it on a nearby chair, and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before plopping down onto the couch.
So yeah, you’re probably just tired.
You let out a soft hum as you tug off your own jacket before hanging it up, grabbing Ellie’s and hanging it up as well. She had a bad habit of shedding her layers off as soon as she got through the door.
You stand before Ellie in the living room, her legs spread as she babysits a bottle of water, eyes never leaving yours. You watch as she pats her lap quietly, which forces you to give her a look of disbelief.
Usually, you’d have a witty remark for that sort of gesture from Ellie, which would often times be paired with a pillow to her face. But there’s simply something about the way her legs are spread out on the couch, looking so fucking inviting, that makes you quietly follow her orders, and straddle her lap.
Now, most intimacy was supposed to be saved for the camera, it was an unspoken rule of filming with Ellie, or it was a rule you set for yourself. Apart from warming up before filming, letting Ellie get you nice and wet for her before you got on camera with her, there wasn’t really a reason to have any sort of intimacy with her. Things were supposed to go back to normal when you weren’t on camera, back to how things were as roommates.
But, you’d be lying if you said that’s how it was. You and Ellie had always had an affectionate relationship, one that never went without cuddling, caressing, even crashing in your bed from time to time when she couldn’t sleep. You were no stranger to Ellie’s strong hands on your body, because that was just Ellie. She had a thing for gripping and groping, always wanting her hands to be occupied with something whenever you were near, you assumed that’s how she was with everyone.
There just seemed to be something about getting regularly fucked by Ellie that made the intimacy take a different level, a different course that made things feel…different.
And of course, there’s no harm in that. You watched Ellie kiss Julia goodnight every time she left the house, always taking an extra few minutes to hold her when they were done. If they could do it, why couldn’t you two do it?
Ellie let out a soft hum of approval when you straddled her lap, disregarding the water bottle so that both her hands were free to grip your hips, pulling you closer to her. Your hands went around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck as she pressed her face against your neck, giving your skin a deep inhale.
“Missed you today…” she mumbled softly against your skin, which makes you roll your eyes playfully, yet still keeping her close. “You saw me this morning before I left” you argue softly, which only earns a soft whine from Ellie, you can feel her lips form a pout against your throat before she presses soft kisses to it.
“So? Still missed you” she explained, her voice low as she spoke. You can’t help but giggle softly, staring down at the girl as she litters your throat with soft kisses.
But this feels way too fucking intimate, even for you and Ellie.
You clear your throat, tugging her hair back a bit to force her to look at you, which makes Ellie groan softly, half in annoyance, and half in pleasure. She loved it whenever you did what you wanted with her.
“We filming tonight?” You ask quickly, a sorry attempt at trying to interrupt this soppy little scene you and her are having.
You see a flash of something ripple through Ellie’s green eyes, something you can’t quite put your finger on, because she’s changing her expression much too quickly, giving you and eager nod as her hands go from gently caressing you, to gripping your ass tightly. This makes you whine softly in her lap.
“Eager to have me…aren’t you baby” she chuckles softly, the shift in her personality clear as her eyes quickly darken with lust. You swallow nervously, always feeling small in front of Ellie whenever she looked at you that way. You feel the way she slowly begins grinding your hips down into her lap, strong hands gripping you and moving you as she pleased. You can only nod, your lips forming a gentle pout before a gentle sigh leaves them.
“Always…” you moan out softly, which makes her smirk up at you proudly. You’d gotten so good at voicing what you wanted these past few weeks, it made warmth pool at Ellie’s core.
She gives your ass a firm spank before she nodded her head towards her room. “Go get the camera, baby” she ordered gently, that delicious tone of dominance lacing her words, you quickly followed her instructions, getting up from her lap and going to her room to get the equipment.
That was another thing, with your new presence in Ellie’s work, came a change of scenery in her videos.
Ellie usually kept her videos and streams exclusive to her bedroom, having the common courtesy to not fuck all over your shared apartment. But now that it was just you two, there was a new sense of freedom when it came to filming with you. It happened one day when Ellie was finger fucking your pussy on the couch, and had the bright idea to grab her camera, because it was just too fucking good to not hit record on.
Once again, another example of intimacy outside of filming.
You returned with all of the filming equipment, never knowing what Ellie had planned for a shoot, so instead opting to bring everything so she could choose from.
Ellie smirks softly as she sits up from her spot on the couch, eyes low and filled with lush as you walk back into the living room. You lift up her camera and her tripod, a confused frown on your lips as you look between the two. “M’not sure what you wanted to film, so I brought both. I can always go back and-“ she’s quickly cutting you off, standing up from the couch and slowly making her way to you before she takes both out of your hands gently, and sets them down on your coffee table.
“We can focus on that, later…I need to make sure you’re ready..” she purred out, making you swallow back a whimper.
Her hands go down to yours, gently gripping your arms before she pushes them to rest around her neck, her own hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush to her body.
‘Making sure you were ready’ was just Ellie’s way of saying she wanted a moment with you off camera.
You simply give her a nod, your head already tilting forward as you lean in to press a kiss to her soft lips. Ellie groans in approval, her head tilting to the side a bit as soon as you were pressed against her, deepening the kiss. Her nimble fingers slide down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze while also using the leverage to pull you closer, pressing your chest firmly against hers. This make you gasp, and as always, she uses that opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.
Ellie smirks into the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth as her hands massage your ass through your jeans.
“Been needy for me, baby? I’ve been needy for you…” she confessed between the feverish kiss. It was slow, and dirty, and so fucking erotic, it had your panties soaked already.
All you could do was nod, desperately pushing your lips back against hers as you tugged at her shirt. “Thought about you all day…” you said mindlessly, which makes Ellie chuckle softly against you.
“Yeah? God…me fuckin too…kept thinking about your pretty cunt all day…fucked my self so many times to the thought of you…” she groaned out. Her words make you moan a bit louder.
You’re so fucked out already, that you can barely register what it is that she just confessed to you.
Ellie hums softly as she breaks the kiss, looking down at you as you stare up at her with lust filled eyes and a needy pout. She tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, her own swollen lip tugged between her teeth.
“Bet you loved when that woman was staring at you…didn’t you.”
This catches you off guard.
Your eyes widen a bit, shocked over the fact that Ellie was even bringing it up to you, especially when all you wanted was her hands on your cunt, not the image of another woman in your head.
You don’t know why, but your first response is to quickly shake your head.
“What? She wasn’t…I didn’t notice her staring” you try, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Ellie chuckles softly as she watches you, catching your chin between her thumb and pointer finger as she angles your face up a bit more to stare up at her.
“It’s okay baby…she was very pretty…” she agreed, giving a slow nod before she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, head cocking to the side in a teasing manner before she hummed out softly.
“You think she could make you feel as good as I do?” She questioned, blown out pupils surrounded by a sliver of green staring down into your own.
And again, you’re quickly shaking your head, because you know for a fact that there is probably only a handful of people on this planet that can fuck you as good as Ellie can, and that’s being generous to the general population. Ellie fucks good, and anyone who gets to experience that is fucking lucky.
They’re also ruined for anyone else who comes after her.
“Fuck…you know no one can…come on El…need you so bad…” you whine softly, giving Ellie a whiny little pout as you tug at her shirt further, feeling like you’ll explode if you don’t have her hands on you in the next few seconds. Ellie simply chuckles, watching as you whine and pout for her, a sorry attempt at trying to find your way out of the conversation.
“You’re damn right they can’t…such a good girl…” she praises, which makes you whine softly.
Ellie hums softly as she stares down at your body, giving your waist a gentle tap. “Stay here.” She ordered softly before she moved over to set up the camera.
You watch as she sets up the tripod, making it level with the couch, low enough so that it stops right where the back of the couch ends, so that it doesn’t catch your kitchen in the background. She turns it on before she goes behind it, bending down a bit to make sure the angle is good before she nods to herself before she moved to sit down on the couch much like she was earlier, legs spread wide, her dark jeans stretching over her toned thighs. Her arms stretched along the back of the couch, dark eyes boring holes as she watched you.
“Strip” she ordered.
Fuck.
You immediately began slowly stripping for her. Staring with your t shirt, then with your jeans, leaving you in your bra and panties for a moment before you removed those as well, until you were fully naked in front of Ellie, her eyes eating you up like a hungry animal.
“So fuckin pretty…Jesus…” she groaned softly underneath her breath, letting you simply stand there, naked for her, under the dim lighting of your cozy living room.
After a moment passed, she nodded her head towards the camera. “Start recording, and then come over here.” She instructed once again, and she didn’t need to tell you twice.
You slowly walked over to the camera. On the screen, you could see Ellie on the camera, only her body visible, looking so fucking strong and confident. You knew from the angle of the camera alone, that Ellie’s viewers were in for a treat with this one.
And so were you.
When you hit record, you made your way over to Ellie slowly. She hummed softly, eyes staring up at you as you stood over her before she looked down at her lap, as if silently telling you to take a seat. You straddled her lap, the rough material of her jeans on your naked body making you hiss softly.
Ellie hummed, her large hands roaming your body the second you were on her lap. “Fuck…look at you baby..came home to all this?” Her words make you frown in confusion for only a moment, yet you quickly catch onto the fantasy that she’s trying to sell to her viewers.
You give a soft giggle, nodding as you lean in to press a soft kiss to her temple. “Missed you so much…wanted to surprise you..” you purr out softly, a soft whine leaving your lips once Ellie began to slowly grind you down on her lap as she was earlier, yet this time it makes you huff softly, the rough material of her jeans dragging along your sensitive core.
“Aren’t I lucky…coming home to my pretty girl like this…fuck…you’ve been on my mind all fucking day…” she groaned out, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked down at your naked body, a soft hiss leaving her lips as she let her hand come in between you both, catching your slippery clit against her thumb. She watches your facial expression change, a soft moan leaving your lips as you rest your hands on either one of her shoulders, looking down at her hand toying with you.
“So wet already…stand up for me baby” she hummed out softly as she gave your hip a gentle pat. You listened, standing up from her lap, which allowed her to lay down onto the couch, one of her knees bent up as the other leg laid down. She gestured you over to her.
“Come sit on my face princess” she ordered.
Her words alone made you whine, and you wasted no time straddled her face, either side of your legs shielding her face from the camera.
As soon as you were settled, her tongue was out, inviting you down to take a seat as you rested a bit of your wait onto it, your pussy pressing against the warm muscle. You moan out loudly, back arching as you slowly began rocking your hips back and forth on Ellie’s flattened tongue.
The apartment was soon filled with the sounds of your moans, and Ellie’s tongue lapping away at your soaked cunt. It was times like this that Ellie had to depend on you to carry out the vocals, seeing as her mouth was a bit…occupied.
“F-feels so good…missed you so much today…” you moan out shyly, testing the waters with your voice a bit. Ellie groaned below you, her own hips bucking upwards, grinding into nothing as she gave you a quiet gesture to keep going.
You whined, giving her a slow nod as you kept going.
“You look so pretty…fuck…I love your tongue so much…” you moan out again, which earns another moan from Ellie, sending vibrations onto your sopping cunt. You moan loudly again, one of her hands coming up from around your thigh, to snake up your body and toy with your boobs, massaging the skin, pinching your nipples, her hips still bucking up into nothing with need.
You notice, turning around a bit and catching the way her hips bucked up with need. You whimper softly, reaching a hand behind you to undo her jeans before you push them down her pants, her own clit throbbing against your fingers as you begin rubbing her, watching as her eyes roll back when you begin doing this.
“Feels good? Fuck…you’re so fucking wet…fuuuckk…wanna…wanna cum with you…please” you practically beg, your arm already becoming sore from the uncomfortable position, yet you still paid the upmost attention to her poor needy pussy.
Ellie always prioritized your pleasure, it was time you do the same.
Ellie moaned and groaned against your pussy, her tongue speeding up the closer she got, her pussy grinding into your fingers desperately. You arched your back, eyebrows furrowed as you let your head fall back, the pleasure becoming too much.
You knew she was close, the grip on your thighs was almost deadly, and you were too. It wasn’t long before her hips were sputtering, her arousal soaking your fingers as she came. This alone was enough to make you shriek with pleasure, nearly falling back as your arm nearly gave out from behind you, but Ellie’s strong arms were already on your hips to keep you up, pulling you further up as she lapped at your core, helping you ride out your orgasm.
The thing you hated about filming with Ellie the most? You couldn’t even scream her name when she made you cum.
You breathed hard, your exhausted pussy shying away from Ellie’s tongue as you stared down at her, body back in its upright position, her gorgeous green eyes staring up at yours, cheeks red as she gave your pussy kitty licks.
“You should stay out late more often..” you tease, which earns a soft giggle from both of you.
Ellie gives your pussy one last kiss before she pushes you down her body so you’re straddling her waist, her eyes low and hazy as she stares up at you, gently massaging the skin of your thighs.
You always enjoyed the aftermath with her, the silence that came with it, the come down was almost as good as the sex itself. You were both so fucked out, so utterly satisfied, the warmth that overtook you was almost unbearable. You could stay there forever if you truly wanted to.
But alas, it never lasted long enough.
You felt the familiar tap on your thighs, a silent reminder that Ellie had to indeed get up and stop the camera recording. You roll off of her with wobbly thighs, cuddling into the couch and grabbing a nearby blanket to shield your body from the cold air of your apartment.
You watch with sleepy eyes as Ellie gets up, buttoning up her jeans and turning off the camera before pulling it front the tripod to look back at the footage, making sure it was all recorded correctly.
You hear your moans echoing from the device, which makes you whine softly. You always hated hearing yourself, no matter how hot you and Ellie looked. Ellie chuckles softly, shaking her head as she watched the video for a moment longer before she shut off the camera.
“That improv of yours was pretty damn good…they’re gonna like that” she added, making you giggle softly before giving her a shrug. “I always like playing with your pussy” your words make Ellie groan, and she’s suddenly giving you a look of warning, a smirk playing on her lips to match.
“Don’t play with something you can’t handle sweetheart” she warned you, and you can’t help but roll your eyes, despite the fire you feel from that look alone.
“Please, you wouldn’t know how to fuck me even if you had the chance” you challenge her.
Oh yeah, that was another thing. Ellie still hadn’t properly fucked you yet.
You huffed softly as you tugged yet another top off of your body. You’d tried on nearly every article of clothing you had in your closet, yet it just wasn’t fucking working. It was times like this, that you simply wanted to burn all of your clothes and never leave your house again.
You were currently getting ready for a date, a girl you’d met at the record store had ended up asking you out on a date while you were showing her to the new age rock section that the store carried.
The first thing that went through your mind when the girl asked, wasn’t how pretty she was, or how nice her fingers looked wrapped around the edge of the thin vinyls in her hand.
No, none of that went through your head. The only thing that went through your head when the girl asked you out was Ellie.
And that scared you.
Because it’s Ellie for gods sake. The girl you’ve been living with for almost three years now, the girl who you watched eat dry cereal from the box instead of making herself a proper meal, the girl who you’ve watched genuinely find family guy funny…
The girl who’d been playing your body like a fucking guitar for almost a month now.
You realized, you needed this date.
So you agreed, giving the girl your number and telling her to text you so you guys could set up a date.
The guilt was eating you alive, because while Ellie would be fucking you with a dildo, her lips firmly on yours, you knew in the back of your head you had a girl waiting to see you at the end of the week.
And it was conflicting because did you even have to tell Ellie? Would it be stupid if you did? Would it be wrong if you didn’t? It was still just Ellie, after all. Sure, she’d seen you naked now, and she’d made you cum more times than you could count, and you her, but she was still your friend. She was still your normal roommate, your Ellie. And there was nothing really holding you back from going on dates.
Right?
You chalked up all your guilt by convincing yourself that Ellie was probably talking to other girls too, actively searching for a girlfriend, or even a permanent filming partner while you temporarily filled that spot.
Because while you guys never formally spoke about it, that’s all you were, temporary.
It worked out perfectly, because Ellie had gone out for the night, texting you and telling you she had some stuff to do, errands to run. It gave you the place all to yourself to get ready. You would’ve felt extremely stupid sneaking out of your own apartment to avoid any awkward interactions with Ellie. Even though you weren’t even sure if it would even be awkward.
You ended up settling on a little black dress, a pair of black boots and a leather bomber jacket, an outfit you had long since ran dry with how many times you wore, but you looked good, and you weren’t going to to stray away from that.
You fluffed out your hair after you finished up your makeup, spraying on your favorite perfume before you grabbed your phone, sending record store girl a quick text, letting her know that you’d be leaving your house now to meet her at the bar that you two had agreed on going to for your first date.
You couldn’t ignore the sour taste in your mouth, and the aching feeling in your belly as you looked around your room, making your final rounds before you left. There was something about the entire ordeal that just felt…dirty. The fact that you were sneaking around, hiding something that you felt needed to be hidden…
Leaving Ellie for the night.
All of it made you feel ill, and the fact that you felt that way made you feel even worse.
But regardless of it all, Ellie was out and it was all in your head. Ellie probably wouldn’t even care if you went out with a girl! She’d be happy for you, she’d send you out of the apartment with an encouraging slap on your ass before telling you to wrap it up before you-
Suddenly, you could hear Ellie opening up the door from the other side of your apartment door. You feel like you’ll freeze up and die in that very moment.
She walks into the house humming a tune you can’t quite find, probably some song that had been stuck in her head. She has her helmet tucked under her arm, and a brown paper bag with the logo of your favorite take out spot slung along her long fingers. She doesn’t notice you at first, because she’s too busy cursing under her breath as she tries to get herself inside, a low groan leaving her lips a she tosses her keys into the entrance bowl, kicking the door shut behind her.
“Babe? You home? I brought dinner” she calls out.
You feel sick to your fucking stomach.
Because it feels too domestic, too romantic, too fucking far for you and Ellie for her to be calling out for you that way, to be ordering your favorite dinner and bringing it home for you. You aren’t even entirely sure what prompted her to do this, and you don’t know who you’re more annoyed with, her for doing it, or you for not being honest with her.
You’re too caught up in your thoughts, because you barely realize that Ellie’s eyes are finally on yours, a confused frown as she stares at you up and down, clearly readying yourself to leave the apartment.
“You…look so pretty. Are we going somewhere?” She questions slowly, her sentence slipping into a tone of worry, as if she’d forgotten about something that you planned for the both of you, her big green eyes frantically searching yours.
You can’t fucking do this anymore.
You inhale deeply, shaking your head as you clear your throat, your fingers tugging at the bottom of your dress as you try to find your voice, find your words to break it to Ellie.
“I um….I have a date tonight” you mumble out softly, barely loud enough for Ellie to hear, hoping that she doesn’t and some miracle snatches this ridiculous conversation away so you don’t have to experience it.
But she does hear you.
Her face goes from worried to annoyed almost instantly, her brows knitted together as her lips form a confused frown. “A date? With who?” She spits out, and the tone is too accusing for you. It makes you wince slightly, your lips forming a frown of your own as you let out a soft sigh.
“Girl I met at the record store” you sigh out, and you hate this, because it feels so far from what you and Ellie are. It feels to reminiscent of a jealous girlfriend cornering you, confused as to why you’d ever leave her when she was there waiting for you, why on earth would you pass her up for anyone else when she gives you everything anyways?
The energy you can feel radiating off of Ellie is the same thing you felt when that woman was looking at you on the road. It feels hostile, and possessive, it feels like she has some claim on you that you aren’t even fully aware of, and it’s the reason you decided to go on the date in the first place, because regardless of not fully knowing what it is that’s happened between you and Ellie.
You know it isn’t good.
Ellie moves to drop the food onto the coffee table, a bit too harshly in your opinion. Her strong hand goes up to run through her brown hair, one hand on her hip as she stares at the floor for a moment. You should’ve just taken that as an opportunity to leave, to avoid all of this. But you don’t.
“It’s���it’s Friday night. We’re supposed to film. We film every Friday” she argues.
Fuck.
You chew your maroon tinted bottom lip, feeling like a kid who’s done something bad and is now facing the repercussions of a disappointed parent. You feel small, and stupid, and you can’t believe you forgot about it. There had been such a blur between the schedule you had with Ellie, with far too many moments of making out with her on the couch, or her fingers finding their way into your pants whenever you were watching a movie together, that the intimacy in your brain was becoming confused with the intimacy that was needed for the camera and the camera only.
And in that moment, you realize that this needs to end.
Because maybe you and Ellie can go back to normal, maybe you can forget about this and she can find someone who is better at this stuff than you are. It’s too confusing, and it’s putting you in a bad position of thinking too deep into things while also missing the bigger picture, and you’re fucking exhausted.
You inhale deeply, opening your mouth to speak, to tell her that this isn’t what you want anymore, that this isn’t for you anymore. You have it all mapped out, how you’re going to finally tell her that this simply can’t go on anymore.
But suddenly, your phone goes off.
You frown, looking down at the glowing device in your hands. It’s a text from record store girl, she’s telling you how she just left her house, and how excited she is to see you tonight. This catches Ellie’s attention too.
She looks down at your phone, her angry and annoyed expression still present on her face.
“Is that her?” She asks. You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head as you try pushing your phone in your jacket pocket. “Ellie I…when I get back I really think we should talk about-“ she quickly cuts you off, her voice a bit louder than it was when she first asked.
“I said…is that her?” Her words are slower, clearer, as if she wants you to hear every goddamn syllable that leaves her mouth. You know she isn’t fucking around, and you simply inhale deeply, taking your phone out of your pocket and looking at the message that was still lingering at the bottom of your Lock Screen.
“Yeah…it is….” You admit, ignoring how fucking stupid you feel for telling Ellie this. You should have left, you should have ignored her and gone on your date and had a good time so you could come home and tell her that she needed to find a new filming partner, because you weren’t cut out for this shit anymore.
She begins taking slow strides towards you, the closer she gets, the more you can smell her cologne. It makes you swallow back a whine, because her scent is the single most euphoric thing to you right now. It haunts you in your sleep, and it makes your mouth water whenever she’s on top of you.
Soon, she’s right in front of you, her green eyes staring down at your outfit, taking in everything that you have on, how pretty your hair and makeup is. Her slender fingers come up to tug at your jacket slightly, a soft puff of air exiting her nose before she speaks. “What’d she tell you? That she’s on her way? So excited to see you?” She questions, her voice low and taunting as her nimble fingers dance along your jacket, ghosting along the fabric of your dress.
“Fuckin idiot…she’s on her way to some shitty bar and I’ve got her girl practically shaking for me..” she hummed out softly.
And it was true. Ellie had hardly touched you, yet your fists were balled at your side, body practically begging for her as her skilled fingers barely gave you what you wanted. The second she was in front of you, your brain was clouded with her, with all the things you wanted from her, all the things you knew she could do to you.
“Had so much planned for us tonight, baby…wanted to finally show you off live..wanted to take care of that pretty body of yours…and you were getting all dolled up for some asshole who probably wouldn’t know how to make you cum even if she got the chance” she explains, her voice low, minty breath fanning across your face, making you whine softly.
“You’ve never dress like this for me before…” she groans out, and it makes your eyes widen a bit. Before you can open your mouth and say anything back, her skinny fingers are grabbing your chin and angling your face up to fully look at her, her green eyes staring down into yours as she licked her bottom lip slowly.
“God I can’t stand you sometimes..” she sighed out softly before she pressed her mouth against yours in a needy kiss. Your hands instantly wrap around her neck, keeping her close as her own arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against her body.
It’s as if any and all moral high ground that you had was gone, replaced by only thoughts of Ellie. You let her fill you up, breath life into you as her warm tongue explored your mouth, dominated the kiss and took you on a wild fucking ride that only consisted of a single kiss from her.
Soon, she’s breaking the kiss, and it makes you whine and chase her lips. She chuckles softly, the sound dark and taunting as she stares down at your needy eyes and swollen lips. “Now you’re chasing me…poor thing…” she tuts out, clearly mocking you with a pouty tone.
She slips her hand into your jacket pocket, taking out your phone and looking at the message. She rolls her eyes, pushing the phone in between you two.
“You’re gonna call her, and you’re gonna tell her you aren’t coming” she demands. Your eyes go wide, looking up at Ellie before you quickly shake your head. “What? No! Ellie I can’t! I…can’t I just text her?” Even your own words shock you a bit, because are you seriously staying with Ellie when there was a perfectly willing girl waiting for you at a bar down the street?
If Ellie said so, then yeah. Yeah you were.
Ellie shrugged before she unlocked your phone, having learned your password way back when you two first moved in together. “Fine. I’ll call her” she nodded, her fingers scrolling through your phone to find the girls contact. This makes your eyes go wider, and you quickly snatch your phone from Ellie’s hand, because you know that Ellie will be shameless with it, and it’ll make you look way worse than you already do by flaking so last minute.
“No! No…fine…I’ll do it. Just…please be quiet, Ellie” you plead, giving her a look of warning before you sigh softly, looking down at your phone for a moment before you click the girl contact, set it to call, and put your phone to your ear.
Ellie smiles proudly, pearly teeth gleaming as her hands give your hips a firm squeeze. “That’s my fuckin girl…” she praises. Her words makes your insides flutter, core tightening around nothing as you wait for the girl to answer, a gentle pout on your lips despite the fact that your arms were still wrapped around Ellie, and she still had your body pressed against hers.
After a few rings, she finally answers. Her voice is bright and bubbly and you want to kick yourself for doing this to someone so fucking sweet.
“Hey….look…I’m really sorry but I think I’m going to have to-“ your words are cut off by Ellie’s lips pressing against your neck, wet mouth working against your skin, bitting and sucking, sure to leave marks in the morning. It makes you gasp softly..
Because Ellie never left marks.
It wasn’t something that ever really bothered you. It helped in all honesty, you didn’t really want to be walking around littered in Ellie’s hickies, it would’ve resulted in too many questions from your coworkers and friends, and you really didn’t want to deal with that. It was just an unspoken rule, Ellie didn’t mark you, and you didn’t mark her. That was too far along the lines of being a couple for you.
But clearly, that had all changed tonight.
There was a sense of possessiveness that you could feel when she did it. Teeth and tongue sucking and biting at your soft skin, eager to claim you in any way that she possibly could. Between the feeling of it, and the fact that she was doing it, it made it hard to talk, your eyes rolling back into your head as you bit back a whimper, covering it up with a couch as you tried finding the words in your fuzzy head to speak to the girl.
Ellie smirked against your throat as she listened to you struggle, listened to the muffled words of the confused girl on the other line try to understand what it was you were saying.
You tugged at Ellie’s hair slightly, yet still kept her close as she mouthed your neck. “I…I can’t…look I’m really not feeling well..I…mph…I can’t come out tonight. I’m sorry” you quickly ramble out, knowing you were too close to moaning out Ellie’s name to keep this going on any longer. Before you were able to hear what the girl had to say on the other line, you hang up, turn your phone off and toss it onto the couch.
You moan softly, tilting your head to the side to give Ellie better access to your neck. “I can’t believe you fucking did that…” you moan out as you began shrugging your jacket off, tossing it somewhere in the living room. You felt too hot, too fucking needy, everything was just too much and you struggled to wrap your head around what exactly was even happening.
“Me? I didn’t do anything…you’re the one that cancelled on the poor girl” Ellie teased gently, which earns a swat to her arm from your end.
You sigh softly, tugging her hair back so that she’s pulled away from your neck. You waste no time in crashing your lips against hers, your tongue pushing into her mouth with need as you kiss her feverishly. Ellie groans into the kiss, her hands going down to give your ass a firm squeeze. “Eager are we?” She grunts against your lips.
You huff softly, ignoring her words as you begin pushing her backwards towards her room, your lips never leaving the sloppy kiss. It’s so fucking erotic, and messy, and needy, and there’s so much filling it that you can both clearly feel. You decide to ignore it.
“I decided to stay with you…you better make this worth it” you groan out softly, which only earns a smirk from Ellie as she stares down at you, her heart fluttering at the way you pushed her around, did with her as you pleased.
“I always do, baby” she chuckled softly, and all you want to do is wipe that smug fucking smirk off her beautiful face.
Once you’re in her bedroom, you press your palms against her chest, shoving her back to lay on her bed. She lets out a soft moan, clearly happy with the way that you’re handling her.
You tug your dress up a bit as you move to straddle her, her hands instantly moving to grip your thighs. She lets out a soft hiss, her lust filled eyes eating up the way your dress hugs your curves, pushes up your boobs. For a moment, you see a hint of something flash through her eyes as she watches you, taking in the dress that you wore for a date, wore for someone else.
You don’t ignore it this time, because it’s clearly jealously.
You don’t know whether or not you should say something, or kiss her, or do anything else to get your mind off of it, but you don’t have to. Because as soon as you’re settled down on her lap, you can feel a foreign bulge pressing into your clothed core, and it makes your eyes widen and Ellie smirks and rolls her hips up to grind it into you, and then you realize what the surprise that Ellie had was.
Ellie was finally going to fuck you tonight.
And not with her fingers, or with a sex toy, it would be with her strap. She was going to fuck you, something you’d already assumed wasn’t going to happen between the two of you.
She must have noticed the shocked look on your face, because she chuckles as she continues grinding her cock into you, making you whine softly as you press you hands on her hips to give yourself leverage as you roll your hips to meet her movements.
“Feel that baby? It’s all yours…went out and brought a brand new one just for you…” she explained, revealing what it was that she’d been out doing while you were getting ready for your date.
She was buying new toys to fuck you with, and picking up dinner for after.
You felt like you were dreaming.
All you can do is moan in response, eagerly undoing Ellie’s jeans, wanting nothing more than to feel her fill you up, fucking into you deliciously, giving you what you’d always wanted.
Ellie is quick to grab your wrists, pulling them away from her jeans. “Ahh, not so fast, princess….we’re gonna do this the right way” she hums out softly. You can’t help but pout, a soft huff leaving your lips as you open your mouth to complain, but Ellie is already sitting up, gently pushing you back to lay on her bed properly as she crawls over you.
She hums softly, staring down at your body for a moment, silently taking you in before she pushes your dress up, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as her hands find its spot cupping your clothed pussy.
“Hmm….so wet already…I’m gonna have so much fun taking you, baby…” she groaned against your lips, swallowing up your moans as her slender fingers pressed against your clit, rubbing you slowly, forcing the cotton material of your pantries to go translucent as your arousal soaked them almost entirely.
And your head is spinning as she kisses you, because she’s being so slow, so gentle, treating your body with so much care. And it’s not unlike Ellie to do this, but you just assumed this would have gone differently. You expected her to be rough, fucking into you while telling you how no one could ever fuck her like she does…
But she’s not. She’s so gentle, and soft, and it’s making your heart do dances it’s never done before..
Ellie lets out a soft sigh as she tugs your panties to the side, feeling your velvety folds better now without the fabric constricting her. She rubs you slowly, building you up, getting your sopping little pussy all warmed up for her cock. Soon, her hands leave your core, and she pulls you up to tug your dress off before laying you back down, and tugging off your panties as well, leaving you entirely naked before her.
Ellie hisses softly under her breath as she eyes you, sitting back on her legs as she begins tugging off her own shirt, before she crawls off the bed to tug her jeans off, leaving her completely naked as well, eyes never leaving your body.
“You’re so fucking beautiful…” she mumbles out softly before she crawls back onto you, pressing her naked chest against yours. The feeling makes you moan loudly into her mouth as she kisses you, because you’ve never felt Ellie like this. You’ve never had her body pressed up against yours this way, and it feels like the single most intimate thing you’ve ever felt in your entire life.
Ellie’s hand goes down to her cock, gripping the base before she brings it to your core, running it along your sopping wet folds, against your clit before she slowly feeds you her length, earning a whiny moan from you.
Ellie quickly nods as she kisses you softly, one of her hands giving your waist a squeeze. “I know baby…I know it’s big…you can take me…I know you can” she praises you, and it makes you moan softly into her mouth as she rubs your clit, pushing further into your weeping cunt.
“Ellie…fuck…more…need more” you moan against her, the empty feeling still present as she waits for you to tell her it’s okay to keep going. She groans softly, pushing more of her length into you until she bottoms out completely, her thighs flushed against yours as she waits for you to adjust to her size.
You roll your hips slowly, already feeling yourself leaking around the length, and you give her a nod, staring into her green eyes as your hips buck up into her. “Need you, El…need more of you..” you moan out softly.
And Ellie feels like her head is spinning when you say that.
Her strong hand goes down, gripping your thigh as she slowly fucks into you, moaning as her clit bumps against the back of the strap with her movements.
Her eyes never leaves you, watches as your face contorts in pleasure, moaning loudly for her, arching your back when the tip of her cock rubs against your velvety walls, watching as you fall apart on her length.
Her thrusts are slow, and calculated and she’s staring down at all of you as she fucks into you. You suddenly feel her long fingers wrap around your cheeks, pulling you to look up at her because frankly, you’re having a hard time looking anywhere.
“Eyes on me, baby…need to see you right now…f-fuck…that’s my good fucking girl…taking me so well” she praises, and it makes you moan loudly with her. You grab her wrist, watching as she fucks into you faster, both of you getting closer and closer to what you’ve been needing for who knows how fucking long.
Suddenly, Ellie’s hand leaves your face and instead, grabs your hand, bringing it above your head as she interlocks your fingers. Her gaze is so intense, and the grip on your hand is so tight, you feel tears prickling at the ends of your eyes because whatever the hell is happening is too goddamn intense, it’s taking over you completely, and it’s making it all too much.
“Ellie…Ellie I…I…” you choke out between little moans and whines, your eyes growing glossy as you stare up at her, and Ellie is already nodding despite your lack of words, because she understands, she feels it too, and you don’t even have to say it.
“Come on baby…give it to me…fuck…cum with my angel…please” she’s practically begging, her own moans cutting off her words as she fucks you faster, the grip on your hand almost lethal as she stares down at you, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth.
And you feel it, how could you not? Your orgasm washes over you almost painfully, making you close your eyes shut as your back arches, squeezing Ellie’s hand as you cum hard on her cock. It’s too much, too intimate, too fucking intense, and you feel like you’ll explode just from the feeling of it.
Ellie has no other choice but to smash her lips against yours when she sees it, she can practically feel the way you grip her cock with your pussy and it’s the catalyst that sends her into her own sea of pleasure, euphoria swallowing her up and almost drowning her as she kisses you with everything she’s feeling, pouring it all out into you as her hips slowly fuck into you, riding out both yours and her orgasm.
The come down is hard, because she’s on top of you, and it’s quiet apart from the heavy breathing between you and hear, and her head is resting on her chest…
And all Ellie can think about, is how utterly fucked she is..
Because she’s in love with you
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie tlou#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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AU idea
Me and my friend were discussing Dungeon Meshi and how Laios would work at like, target. kinda made a whole reality where they all worked at a mall. but for each character what we thought would fit was. kinda a modern AU? me and my friend refer to it more so as the mall au. Laios party: Target Kabru party: Subway Chilchuck: works retail part-time (tough times guys) he needs some extra cash. Target, probably has worked there for a while, his co-workers often assume he is younger than he is. Most experienced employee, does what he's paid for, has a main job. Laios: I think he would work at like target, tries really hard at his job. He probably would try some other places but couldn't find any better work. (him and Falin likely share an apartment in the city), I'm assuming he either ran away or got kicked out from home. Falin: more so a college student, but her and Laios live together so she contributes. the same place as Laios, I imagine it brings them both some peace of mind. I imagine she would be studying medicine or something along those lines. Marcille: took up the job to spend more time with Falin. Probably the first to find gossip about her co-workers, especially Chilchuck and his age or random drama. Her and Falin attend the same college. I believe she would study something like history or literature. Kabru: subway. employee of the month EVERY month. lord of sandwiches. he would be ridiculously good at his job and give great customer service. I'm assuming he moved out of home to gain some independence, learning to provide for himself. someone, please give me Subway worker Kabru. Izutsumi: The newest employee, definitely gives attitude. no one lets Izutsumi handle annoying customers. high school student getting work experience for later. They can't fire her, they need the staff. Senshi: likely owns a small food place near the target. appalled after witnessing everyone's lunches, gives them food free of charge once and the party has been regulars ever since. They visit Senshi as often as they can to try new menu items.
#delicious in dungeon#laios dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#izutsumi#falin touden#falin dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille donato#chilchuk dungeon meshi#senshi#senshi of izganda#kabru of utaya#kabru#laios touden#delicious in dungeon laios#laois#dunegon meshi#kabru dungeon meshi
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oh i know why im still mad i remembered
so there a supervisor position open at work and theres this guy who is kinda young but is the hardest worker in the store and is like. genuinely a good worker a good person, like he rocks. but because walmart is such a vile company they see it as an opportunity to overwork him and not give him anything extra while also completely discluding him from any chance at the position and i have literally been fighting for him for the last month and the reason he's not being picked is "he doesnt have the experience" (he's worked here for three years) and "he's not ready" (they use him as a stand-in supervisor when no one else is available)
then they just hired someone off the street with no previous retail experience who im pretty sure is stealing and not good at his job and not trying to get better or learn it and they won't fire him because its easier to keep the first guy a regular associate and work him harder and not pay him for it and keep teasing him with "you'll be a supervisor/manager one day"
it sucks so much
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So apparently the conveniece store clerk that Spot talks to when he's experimenting with his powers is from the Venom movies.
I honestly thought it's supposed to be our universe with a joke about retail workers having to deal with crazy bullshit on the regular.
#I did watch Venom 1 and I vaguely remember her#but man that movie is forgetable#spiderverse#spiderverse spoilers
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Name: Tenshi
Debut: WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$!
I know what you're thinking. It's been four grueling days since the last post about some kind of fictional cube. Don't worry! Cube delivery right here! Even the most humble of gray blocks is a beautiful and valuable thing. Far too valuable for some schmuck like ME to touch with my oily, mortal, mammal skin. Only the divine can be trusted with delivering this block!
This gray block is the ground for our feathered friend Pyoro! He needs to eat those Beans, and if he can't stand on a solid surface while doing so... well, I can't stand to imagine such a calamity! The beans are ruthless. Just a single gently drifting bean can obliterate a poor block, making a gap Pyoro cannot cross, restricting his movement! What Bad Beans!
But even among Bad Beans, there are some Blessed Beans! When this funny bird eats the right bean, something happens. The heavens are notified. God must intervene. Even if He may have been watching over the entire universe, He knows something dire has happened in one small area. He can't let the beans prevail. He must send His angels!
That's what Tenshi means! It means Angel. This is one of those funny situations where an entity's name is just a regular word in Japanese, but it has never technically been referred to in English, so we gotta just accept the Japanese name as official until further notice. They come bearing gray cubes from above for Pyoro to scuttle atop! Anything to let him eat some more beans! It's a very important matter!
In WarioWare Gold's remake of Pyoro, as well as Super Pyoro, the Blocks have received a makeover! Please let me know if you were a Gray Block Enthusiast who is miffed about them now being made of real dirt and grass and looking kinda Minecrafty! I feel neutral to good about the change, though. It's a handsome block. Maybe it can be argued that it lessens the strange ambiguity of Pyoro's whole situation for the blocks to be more "realistic". But if that is a concern to you, then maybe you should think about other things. Sorry. Look, Tenshi now has a halo in game! Yay.
Super Pyoro introduces a few new mechanics to the classic gameplay, including a new Hidden Bonus Area in space! Here, beans abound on conveyor belts, being put there by food service Tenshi wearing little uniforms! Retail workers are the real angels!
To get to this stage, you must allow a beanstalk to grow by letting a bean fall through a hole in the ground... will you sacrifice one of our beloved Blocks to let this happen? Is it worth it? Does the presence of unique Cloud Blocks in the bonus area make up for it? It is up to you! And up to Anubis when he inevitably weighs your heart someday! I hope you made the right decision!
Tenshi is a very Ko Takeuchi character design, by which I mean it is one of those very simple Little White Guys he is always drawing. All the time! Rhythm Heaven is full of them, not nearly limited to just the Chorus Kids, and WarioWare gets its fair share of them, too! What can I say! The man just loves to draw Little White Guys!
#tenshi#angel#pyoro#super pyoro#warioware#warioware inc mega microgames#warioware gold#mario#mario allies#wario#wario allies#mod chikako
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coming from one of those "born in mid 2000s and is now suddenly an adult, making everyone feel old," people, do you have any resources to learn how to bullshit your way through getting a job with zero experience. cause i cant even put like "babysitting" or anything since covid prevented literally any teenage-typical jobs and i kinda dont know what to put on a resume beyond the university im currently attending and the high school i graduated from. and they still dont teach you this in school even though we've complained for years 😭
Okay my chilluns, listen up. This is how to bullshit your way into a basic 1-page resume even if you think you have absolutely dum-dum-diddlysquat to put on it. I completely feel you, as it's hard as hell to get a job even in the ordinary course of things, and especially when everything seems to want 10 years of experience and a bachelor's degree (and still pays like shit). But you gotta be persistent anyway. So here follows the step-by-step guide of How To Resume:
Open a new Word (or other word-processing software of your choice) document.
Pick a nice, professional-looking font (for the love of God, no Comic Sans). Times New Roman is fine; you don't have to overthink it. My own CV is currently in Perpetua, because it's a nice serif that looks crisp and a little different, but it is still clean and readable. Garamond or Cambria or other starter typefaces are fine too. Make sure it is the right size, usually around 12pt.
Put your full name at the top, centered, in BOLD CAPITALS. Increase the typeface size a few more points on this, to make it stand out and to make it take up space.
Underneath this, in regular-sized text, put your contact information: mailing address if you're comfortable sharing it, or if not, at least your phone number and email address. Use a school email if you have it, and not some weird/in-jokey personal email.
Start a new paragraph. In a slightly smaller font (italic if you want to make it look classy) write a few words about yourself. This should be something like I am a [Major] student at [University] looking for a part-time, entry-level position in [sales, retail, office, etc]. A [year] graduate of [High School] in [City, State], I am [prompt, reliable, detail-oriented, mature, friendly, etc] and a hard worker who is eager to gain experience and positively contribute to your business.
Start a new paragraph. Change the alignment from Center to Left. Create a new heading in bold underline labeled Education.
Under this, fill in your education (college first, followed by high school). Include the institution name, city, and state, the year you graduated or expect to graduate, any honors or awards, any extracurriculars, any grade-point averages if they're good (i.e. 3.0 and above), and your expected major in college.
Start a new paragraph. Create another heading: Experience.
This is where you put absolutely anything you can think of (in chronological order, most recent first and counting backward). Did you volunteer for something ever in your life? Put it down! (Title of work, dates, location, brief description of work). Did you do yard work for someone for a weekend? Put it down! Were you (or are you) part of a student club or organization in high school or university? Have you organized or taken part in any local initiatives in your community or neighborhood? Put it down! Basically, absolutely any kind of work, paid or unpaid, that might be relevant, regardless of how long it was or when it took place.
Under that, put the new heading/paragraph Skills and Interests.
Have you worked with Microsoft Word, Outlook, PowerPoint, Adobe, Photoshop? Put it down! People love that shit! Do you use social media and/or know how to work it better than the average grandma? Put 'er down! You get the idea. Think of anything in your daily life that can be put in Job Language and then see if you can do that. You are in university; do you have any projects, papers, or other things that you're proud of? Have you successfully managed a (gasp) group project? Do you make any kind of art? Are you a registered voter who has taken part in civic/political organizations, drives, or events? (If not, REGISTER TO VOTE! This is your angry grandmother speaking). All of that can go down. Even if it's not job experience per se, it's life experience and shows that you are someone who is engaged with the world and working to gain more.
Last paragraph and heading: References. Ask a few trusted adults who know you well and aren't related to you, such as a favorite high school teacher or a university faculty member/degree advisor, if they'd be willing to serve as referees. Put down their full names, titles/place of work, email addresses, and phone numbers.
Voila! You have a full page resume, probably even a little more if you're lucky. Proofread, make sure the spacing is even and the alignment is right, it doesn't look weird, the text is a consistent size, it's all the same color, there are no glaring typos or grammatical errors, etc. etc. Save it as a PDF.
Boom. Done. You are now a Job Hunting Maestro.
If you get an interview, you don't need to pretend that you have tons of experience or that you're something you're not, but you can present what you ARE in a positive light anyway. Don't apologize for yourself or play yourself down pre-emptively; be confident about yourself and what you can offer. You're a college kid looking for your first part-time job, COVID prevented you from a lot of normal teenage work experience, you're willing to work hard and learn new things. Here's your resume. What would be a good time to talk again.
Good luck! I believe in you.
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Sefirah Castle Retail au
All the transmigraters are employees of Tianzun who couldn’t decide if he wanted it to be a diner, grocey store, or just a normal gas station so he mashed it all up together, nothing is normal and the place may or may not teleport over the world but they have a job so they don’t really care about that.
No one has the correct name tag, at first Tianzun gave out regular sounding names such as Klein Moretti and Roselle Gustav, but then he started out giving such as Hidden Blade and Periodic Table and never looked back
Klein has multiple different name tags that he switches by, some customers such as Emlyn know him as Sherlock Moriarty, others like Fors know him as Gehrman Sparrow
The Curly haired baboon gang are split between who the owner of Sefriah castle is, some like Franca think it’s Klein and others like Loki think it’s Tianzun
Tianzun rarely appears in store, the only one who knows who he looks like is Klein, Amanises, and Roselle
To the rest, he’s just some long-haired weirdo that likes to bother the workers
Lumian would occasionally come dressed as Aurore to cover her shifts, everyone knows it’s him but hey it’s free labour
Every week or so, some crackhead named Antigonus would come and bother Amanises, no one knows the beef between them
Franca wore an assassin’s creed cosplay on her job interview cause she got the days mixed up, luckily it was Klein who was a fan of the game and half of the interview was them talking about the game
There’s a chalk board menu and everyone writes their own reviews on it that range from 1/10 to this sucks ass to a full on food review you’d see on a blog
The only ones in a healthy and loving relationship is Professor and Associate Professor, everyone hates it
All of them have other jobs than just Sefriah Castle, Amanises is a successful business woman, Roselle is a CEO, Klein’s a history professor, Franca works for the Mafia, Aurore’s a author, etc
Why they work there? cause Tianzun made them sign a life-long contract and their souls are bounded there until they die
#retail au#lotm#lord of mysteries#lord of the mysteries#coi#circle of inevitability#curly haired baboon society#transmigters
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Universe thingy (title in progress i guess)
Hi lol.
Part 2
CW: gunfire: you know, regular cod stuff
Indulge me; imagine this.
You had finally gotten home from a long day of work. Bitchy coworkers, upset clients, stupid issues that should've been fixed already, --- needless to say, you were stressed out. What better way to wind down than playing one of your favorite games, hm?
You boot up your console, searching through your game library in hopes of finding something that could distract you. Eventually, you decide on the Call of Duty Modern Warfare games (the new ones). The campaign is good, the characters are great, it should get you out of the frazzled, careworn mindset you've been in all day.
Oh. Boy, were you wrong.
You select your game, and your vision goes white. Your first thought was, 'did this job finally give me an aneurysm?' Your hearing had disappeared too, yet it was the first sense to come back.
Gunfire.
When you could finally see, you were no longer on your sofa wallowing in sorrow; you were in a fucking warzone. Not that you were prepared for this clothing wise, in your hoodie and sweatpants.
The only thing you manage to get out is,
"Holy fucking SHIT-!"
And you start running. And running. It's dark, but you keep going. And the first shelter you see is a downed helicopter.
You're about to go in when you hear a voice you know: "Get your gun on that tree line."
Ghost. One of your favorite characters. But now you know you shouldn't attempt to enter. On the other hand, you need to. You'll wind up shot if you don't. So, you slowly start to get in. (ha, you thought they wouldn't notice?)
And now three guns are aimed at you: an Alpha soldier, Ghost, and Soap. You know this mission like the back of your hand. You could help them. But your fight or flight turned instead to freeze, both hands up to signal that you were no harm to them.
"A fuckin' civilian?" Ghost mumbled, followed by Soap's "Steamin' Jesus..."
"Th' fuck are you doing here?" Ghost questions, staring you down, still aiming his gun at you.
"I don't-- I don't know?" You manage to get out. This big man with a skull mask and his buff Scottish friend are both aiming guns at you. Sure, they are the good guys, but they still will probably shoot you.
"I can help you!" You yell out quickly. Jesus Christ, why did I-
"Shut up." Soap loudly whispers at you. "But how cannae y' help us? Why should we trust you?"
"I know what happens. Trust me."
They both look at each other, confused and slightly angered.
"Better no' be a fuckin' spy, or I'll shoo' you myself." Ghost mumbles, grabbing you by the wrists.
"We cannae jus-"
"Might give us a shot a' Hassan."
Ghost gestures for you to stay down, as he aims his gun out the helicopter window. And lucky (not really) you, there's a gun on the floor! As the AQ fighters pour in you decide to test your luck with a gun.
Long story short,
You were just a simple retail worker, how were you supposed to know how harshly the gun would recoil? You also got a souvenir from the ordeal (you got shot in the arm).
The men did not like your pain tolerance (may have complained too many times), but you got through it all, even the snipers on the roof.
But as you approached that area and told them there would be snipers, they didn't believe you. You can't tell them they're in a video game you've played too many times to even count, so 'trust me' is the only thing you can say.
This earned you looks from the entirety of the Bravo team, which made you realize that, shit, you probably will be interrogated later.
Eventually, you made it to the warehouse. Soap walked up next to you, looking down at you.
"Now whats in this one?" He asked sarcastically. This might be something he should find out on his own, you thought. But you said it anyway. Shit.
"Enemies. and uh- anamericanmissile." You say quickly hoping he doesn't notice. But this causes him to go into the warehouse faster than you could think.
Once all the enemies were KIA, you brought them to the missile container. He presses a button causing the team to see the launcher and the American flag on the side.
"We found a weapons cache. Hassan's got missiles... they're American." Ghost said into his radio. "And you," He points, "I've got someone who's gonna have a bloody lovely talk with you later."
Ghost handcuffs your wrists, handing you off to have Soap bring you to exfil.
Shit.
-------
AAAAA
#call of duty#cod mw2#ghost mw2#captain price#soap cod#john price#john soap mactavish#price cod#ghost cod#sergeant garrick#kyle gaz garrick#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley#ghost#price#captain johnathan price#john mactavish
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hi I'm sorry, I just saw your post about not ratting out on sex workers in retail etc and I just wanted to ask what part of work would you do in an environment like that ? is it for first meeting with clients ? or is it like for clients who would like an escort type of experience ??
For retail environments, it's common for more sugar daddy/regular type clients to take sex workers out shopping. Often people will assume this is an age gap relationship with a younger person seeking money, frequently referred to as a "gold digger" in a derogatory manner, but on other occasions clients end up making it more obvious by making comments that reveal they're paying for the sex worker's time directly.
Hospitality environments are where it's often a lot more obvious, like at hotels or even restaurants. Early in my sex work career I'd have clients take me to dinner a lot (these days I just meet them at a hotel or at their home and we just have sex, we don't go out) and sometimes clients would give me an envelope of money across the table. Super awkward and obvious to happen in public, but as sex workers we can't stop clients from behaving that way. I'd warn them about this kind of thing and they'd do it regardless.
Hotels are the most obvious, because we'll usually be trying to walk past the front desk unnoticed to go to a room (in my case I used to do this wearing revealing clothes and in heels lol, I get noticed way less since transition wearing a t-shirt and jeans to meet clients) or if we book the room ourselves our clients might do ridiculous stuff like name our room number and give our work name. If you question a sex worker or a client who seems nervous going up to a room, we also won't usually know the name of who we're seeing, which can make us obvious! Best thing you can do is look the other way!
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The anti sex work movement act as if abuse can't/doesn't happen in so called regular working environments
You can easily get abused working at McDonald's or retail
you can have a whole ass high paying career and still get abused
These people are just icked out by it and believe sex work shouldn't exist even if the environment is safe
You're absolutely correct, anon.
And you want to know something else? In my experience, I've been less protected in traditional working environments than in sex work.
At 18, I had a man stand in front of me and my manager, yelling at me for something I wasn't even on shift for. He asked if I was an idiot, if I was that stupid, etc. And I just had to take that.
When I was camming, I had full control to kick someone from my room if they were behaving in a way I didn't like.
When I was stripping, there's not a chance in hell the owner would ever let a customer yell at one of the dancers or speak to them like that.
When I was doing videos/pictures/etc, I had full control to block and delete those comments. I was even able to report them as abusive.
In sex work, I've never had to just smile and take that kind of abuse.
In my experience as well, I had people treating me way shittier in retail situations than they did in sex work. (Most the time.)
I like to compare sex work to the media industry.
There is so much abuse that happens on movie and TV sets. Physical, sexual, financial, mental, emotional abuse. They all happen and they're all pretty common with movies/TV shows.
Yet, nobody is boycotting movies/TV as a whole because this abuse happens. Hell, a lot of people won't even boycott a movie/TV show where they know abuse specifically took place.
Nobody's screaming on their accounts that you're abusive if you watch movies/TV shows. Nobody's telling "normal" actors that they're automatically being exploited if they're in any movie/TV show. Nobody's discounting independent movies where all the actors are happy and there's no signs of abuse as "still abusive" just because abuse happens in the industry.
At its heart, the anti sex work movement is anti sex.
The only real difference between porn and a regular movie is the intention. Porn is meant to arouse (in most cases), it's meant to be enjoyed sexually. And so many people still have such puritanical, conservative views on sex that this that's meant to arouse is worse because its "only" purpose is to arouse.
If you want to talk about people getting their autonomy taken away, sex work is another huge aspect for that. And not just in the way people think.
Yes, we get our autonomy taken away by predatory studios/clients. But we also get our autonomy taken away by lawmakers. We get our autonomy taken away by anti sex work people when they tell us that actually we "can't consent" to that. We're routinely told what we have to do or cannot do with our bodies, regardless of what we want to do with them.
And in my experience, most of that autonomy (in the current day) is stripped away by people who are anti sex work. The same people who hide behind "I'm pro sex worker" and "I just want to protect these poor people (usually they say or mean just women)"
#pro sex work#pro sex worker#sex work is work#discourse#social discourse#asks#brett answers#brett does discourse
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So I've seen a couple of modern One Piece aus that imagine the gang in a bunch of different sports and I've notice Sanji typically gets assigned dancer roles (no shame, live your best fandom life) But follow me on a little counterpoint for a minute
Sanji is, at heart, a mixed martial artist with anger management issues. Similar to dancing, these sports require lots of technique, plus insane balance and flexibility. Sanji is a ridiculously high strung individual (is straight up introduced beating up a customer who annoyed him, the retail worker dream), he would need regular sparring sessions to survive the real world. Like imagine, line cooking by day, sparring by night. He cooks, cleans and has great hygiene. The secret is that he has no rizz. Man's a cringe-fail gentleman who hangs out with much cooler martial artists (iva and the drag queens) on the weekends.
In a similar vein, imagine Zoro as a prima ballerina. I have no experience with other forms but any type of dance requires an insane amount of training and focus to perform (professional ballet alone is a 6-7 hours a day, 6 days a week kinda deal). The details of some techniques MATTER to the point (ha) a person needs to start practicing from like 5 to pull off correctly. These people are insane, they will actively ignore injuries to keep going. Like, many ballerinas will jump back into practice after casually pulling off their toenails.
So picture Roronoa "I will keep fighting while actively bleeding out" Zoro as a trained dancer. One of the most dedicated people you will ever meet, who also categorically refuses to wash his clothes. Yes, he can easily lift any of his partners, his fouettes are to die for, and no, he hasn't showered or worn deodorant in a year.
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Thinking about how people think retail work is "easy", the idea that "unskilled labor is a myth", and some discussion/discourse I've seen about workers preferring to do sex work over retail. And I think many people just don't realize that retail work has a physical danger to it – and no, not just from other people.
Exactly what people do in their jobs will vary depending on the business, but as for me? I work with sharp metal and plastic at high speeds. Heavy objects could be dropped directly onto my head if I'm not extremely careful, and even then, all it takes is a slip of the hand. Due to our refrigerators and freezers, I am jumping between temperatures several hundred times a day, which leaves my body suffering from the whiplash. I am thankful to have a manager that enforces breaks, but my job takes a toll on me even on the mildest of work days. I could get seriously hurt, and a lot is already being asked of me.
"Retail/fast food/etc. is unskilled labor –" okay but I am not selling expert labor to you, I am selling my well-being. I am being paid to do not just the things you don't or can't do, but to damage and risk my body and overall health in these specific ways so that your day might be a little better.
And honestly, I'd be fine with that, if I got some recognition for it (in both pay and general attitude). I am fine with a little risk and damage so long as it's for proper compensation – I don't view this work as demeaning by nature, and I take pride in my skill at doing it. It's just that I wished others around me cared more about this side of my job.
On a similar note, restaurant/fast food/etc. workers are not just being paid to make and bring out your food. They are being paid to risk oil burns, regular burns, scaldings, being stabbed or sliced, their hands being mangled by equipment, their fingers being crushed by machinery, any number of diseases that food can carry before it's prepared, and death if something goes wrong with the gas. All for your convenience.
It doesn't matter if it's unskilled, or if "anyone can do it". A good salary is one that takes into account what one is sacrificing and risking to complete this job. It takes into account the damage to one's body and the everyday dangers they are in. Salary is, as people know, payment for energy and time, but it is also a reimbursement for the expense of putting oneself in harm's way, and a person's salary should reflect that.
This isn't meant to shame customers. I think it'd be a little silly to shame people for taking on my services when I am well aware of the risks in them (although I acknowledge that gets complicated when people have to take these kinds of jobs regardless of the risks, due to desperately needing money). It's more of a perspective I don't see others talk about often. Even before factoring in shitty bosses, crappy work environments, and the like, these sorts of jobs have dangers and cause damages that should be acknowledged. And people should be properly compensated for taking them on.
#politics#retail#front soup.txt#bvie.txt#silver.txt#looking at the scrapes I got today without realizing whoops#and the injuries I've gotten from things going wrong#something something osha regulations are written in blood and this is a workspace too#blood can absolutely spill here
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revalink flower shop x tattoo shop omgg... who runs which shop how do they meet are they competitive with their businesses do they give each other cute things from their shops 👁
god it would work either way, but ultimately i think link would own the tattoo shop and revali would own the flower shop. i only decided it because revali seems like the type to have to do multiple sessions for the tiniest tattoo because his pain tolerance is low for tattoos LMAO bro is sitting there like "it doesn't hurt i swear" meanwhile his face is red and he's sucking in his lips trying not to burst into tears ready to shit his pants, but the needle hasn't even touched his skin yet ✋😭
this au could go in a couple different ways: (1) link and revali hate each other and fight all the time about being the better store (boring!), (2) there's no rivalry and link and revali are mutually interested in each other (better, but a bit ooc i feel), or (3) link moves in and becomes more and more curious as he catches glimpses of his (((attractive))) store-neighbor while secretly hopeless romantic revali is grumpy and annoyed about how off-putting a tattoo shop will look next to his flower shop and there's a very mild one-sided rivalry mentality on his end, but as link tries to get to know revali better, revali thinks, perhaps this wouldn't be so bad. you already know what i'm about to write about rn lmfao.
revali's flower shop "the meadow" has been open on tabantha street for a couple years now. he thinks of himself as a very good florist, probably the best in the entire city of hyrule, and he's actually won a couple floral design competitions??? revali inherited the shop from his parents after they passed and he gets fairly good business, especially because everyone who lives on this street are hopeless romantics who are always buying bouquets for dates or to bring home to their spouses. revali will roll his eyes and scoff lightheartedly to his customers about how mushy it all is (but inside, he wants the same for himself; to go home to someone he loves with a bouquet of flowers. revali wonders sometimes, when he watches customers leave with red roses in hand, if he was meant to ever find love. he looks over at the vase of forget-me-nots on the counter; perhaps, one day).
the retail space next to revali's shop has been empty for a couple years and revali is thinking about expanding into the space when suddenly, the space gets rented out and in moves some blond twink with a fully tatted up arm with his dumb little tattoo shop called "master ink zero" or some shit. revali comes in to work one day only for there to be construction going on in the empty space he's been eyeing for a while, and that cute blond twink is standing in front of it talking to one of the workers. what the fuck. all this construction noise is going to scare revali's soft-hearted hopeless romantic customers away! the blond notices him and holds a hand up to wave a little, but revali just glares and turns away to unlock the door to his shop. he could really let that kid have it, but he holds his tongue because he needs to open the store. (he is kind of cute though... stop it, bad revali!)
the day continues as smoothly as it can with construction noise muffled through one of the shop's walls giving revali a migraine. fortunately, his regulars still come but unfortunately, every single one of them comments on the construction.
"you're going to get a new neighbor!" amali says as revali rings up the regular bouquet for her husband kass. "how exciting! you won't be lonely anymore."
"what a curious mix," muses saki when she enters the shop. "a flower shop and a tattoo parlor next to each other. you know, my teba and i are quite the opposites ourselves and they say opposites attract, so—" and revali flushes, squawking and ushering her out. she only laughs at him and bids him well.
the moment his friend urbosa steps into the store to visit, revali knows that she knows and immediately regrets his entire life. "have you proposed marriage to him yet?" she asks, smirking and sits on the counter.
"get off of my counter, i just wiped that down," revali snipes at her, frowning. "whatever do you mean, propose?"
"to blondie next door," she says, cocking her head to the side towards the construction. revali rolls his eyes but she continues. "he's your type down to a T."
"and he's going to scare off my customers," he replies and returns to spraying his vase of forget-me-nots. "i could care less whether or not he's my type."
urbosa hums. "well he's cute and he seems like a nice kid." suddenly, her gaze shifts into something more serious and revali's shoulders tense. "revali... forgive me if i overstep, but i know you've been alone for a while. you've been running this shop for years, working nonstop. i don't think you've ever had a moment to yourself. it might be nice to take a leap of faith on this one, you know?"
revali reverts his attention back to the forget-me-nots and doesn't say anything else, touching the petals with gentle fingers. urbosa sighs. "just consider it, okay? i care about you and i want you to be happy."
"i know," he murmurs. "i know. i'll think about it. only because you asked me to, though. not because he's my type." urbosa smiles and punches his shoulder lightly, to which revali wrinkles his nose at her. he'll think about it.
somehow, the tattoo shop finishes construction in the next week (that bolson construction company sure is efficient...) and opens. revali should probably go over to congratulate his new neighbor with a bouquet of daffodils and white carnations, but he's already glared them down the first time he saw them. with an oddly uncomfortable feeling in his chest, he keeps to himself in his little flower shop, tending to his vase of forget-me-nots and all his other flowers.
(but just because revali doesn't want to visit doesn't mean that link won't 👁️)
the soft chime of a bell alerts revali that a customer has stepped into the store. "welcome to the meadow," he starts, looking up from his computer to the door, "what can i help you with—?" and the rest of his words are stuck in his throat. there, in the threshold of his store, is the blond twink with the fully tatted arm staring at revali with wide, bright blue eyes.
revali never actually got a good look at him when they saw each other the first time. the blond is wearing a loose green tank top, black leather jeans, and combat boots, and his tatted arm is fully on display, swirling with deliberate strokes of ink. he's quite toned and lean, now that revali has gotten a closer look. definitely not his type. he's not!
"hi," the blond says, his voice as soft as the doorbell. "i'm link. i'm the... owner of the tattoo shop next door." he's got freckles, revali thinks faintly before he can actually process any other words.
"really? i wouldn't have ever known with your entire arm covered in tattoos," he says instead. "perhaps you were actually a receptionist or a dog walker who stumbled upon my humble shop." revali cringes internally after the words leave his mouth; he didn't mean to come off that rude for their first proper interaction. he just wanted to be a little rude.
but link only smiles at him, small but genuine, and a feeling grows in revali's chest that he can't quite name. "i'm not sure i'd be very good at either of those things," he says and steps a little closer to the counter, hands in his pockets.
"and who's to say you're any good at tattooing either?" revali mutters, and he doesn't mean for link to actually hear it, but he does, much to revali's chagrin.
link cocks his head, still smiling. "you could come by and find out," he says, and revali blinks at him. they maintain each other's gaze for a couple moments, link's eyes bright and wide, until revali finally tears his gaze away back to his computer. he can't read a single word on the screen.
"revali," he says instead, still keeping his eyes on the screen. it's almost feels difficult to get the words out. "my name is revali."
"hi revali," link says, leaning against the counter now. "it's nice to meet you." then, he glances up at the clock mounted above revali's head. "i have to get back now, i just wanted to properly introduce myself to you now that we'll be working next door to each other. i hope to see you around." with that, link stands up, bows his head a little, and gives revali another smile before leaving.
(and if revali stared after him and the way those leather jeans hugged his figure quite nicely, no he didn't.)
and that's how it starts 😳 at first i considered having link also keep to his own shop at first, but i don't think that does his "character" justice in the game. if you consider us as players to be equivalent to botw link's character (i.e. how we maneuver link in-game, what dialogue options we choose, etc), then link has this natural curiosity about the world around him and wants to explore and talk to new people. so of COURSE if he sees that his neighbor is hot, he's going to want to come over and say hiiiii *twirls his hair*
revalink shenanigans ensue <3 in the beginning, link would randomly drop by during the week for a minute or two, to say hi and make small talk with revali and at first, revali wouldn't say much eyeing the blond. but his short responses and cold demeanor don't deter link; it seems to spur him on, the blond smiling brightly at him with every greeting and with every goodbye.
one day, link comes in and after he says hello, he starts walking around the store looking at the flowers like he's a customer. revali blinks and watches link walk around, dumbfounded.
"what are you doing?" revali says.
"looking at the flowers," link says. he gently touches the edges of the flowers' petals as he moves between the aisles, the same way that revali treats the flowers. "i want to put some on our reception desk. i think it would look really nice." he stops before a cluster of sunflowers and then looks at revali. "can i get some of these?"
revali faintly notes how well link resembles the bright flowers, before scoffing. "if you're going to get flowers to greet your customers, you might as well put some effort into it!" he snips, crossing his arms. "sunflowers are a good choice, but sunflowers only are bland. here, if you were to add some of these—"
he ends up walking link around the entire adding flowers to the ones in link's hand and talking about the different meanings and nuances of flowers, until the arrangement has become a bouquet of sunflowers, gladiolus flowers, jasmine flowers, and calendulas, surrounded by a bunch of little white chamomiles.
"there," revali says, putting his hands on his hips and puffing up proudly. "now that is a bouquet worthy to greet customers."
"it's very beautiful," link comments. he gazes at the bouquet and touches the flowers with those ever so gentle fingers skirting the edges of the petals. "thank you for helping me put it together. how much does it cost?"
and that stops revali in his tracks, his hands dropping to his sides. he totally forgot that link wanted to get flowers for his own store and came here acting like a customer. "yes, the matter of payment," revali starts, blinking and brain scrambling, "well, then, just think of it as a welcoming gift."
"a welcoming gift?" link echoes, cocking his head at revali with those wide blue eyes.
"yes!" revali says, his face beginning to flush. "because your store is still brand new and i hadn't welcomed you properly either..." revali looks away, feeling his cheeks burn. "it's the least i can do..."
when he looks back at link, that familiar smile has returned to his face, eyes sparkling. "thank you, revali," link says, voice soft. "that's really nice of you." and revali's heart flutters.
"well, of course!" he stammers, willing his face not to burn brighter than it already is. "you're fortunate enough to be neighbors with me, the kindest, most benevolent, and gentlemanly florist in all of hyrule." link smiles brighter at him, holding the flowers to his chest and revali looks away, the pounding in his heart so intense he wonders if it will punch through his ribcage out onto the floor.
link starts coming in on mondays and wednesdays during his lunch break just to talk to revali, and gets him to talk more about the meanings of the flowers and the nuances of different colors, the best way to arrange flowers, etc., link happily listening along. it takes some time for revali to get used to, the sound of their voices filling the usually quiet shop for that sacred half hour but once it's set into place, revali looks forward to it every week (though he'll never admit it out loud).
"don't you eat during a lunch break?" revali comments once, after finishing a spiel about invasive flowers to never plant. link hums questioningly at him. "it's a lunch break. aren't you hungry?"
"oh," link says. "i guess?" and right on cue, a rumble comes from the blond's stomach and he looks up at revali with a sheepish smile. "ahah... i got so caught up talking to you i forgot i had to eat."
revali rolls his eyes, then sighs looking up at the clock. "we still have 20 minutes," he says. "come on, let's go to the cafe."
"cafe?" link repeats, as revali grabs his phone, wallet, and keys. "there's a cafe here?"
"had you paid much more attention to anywhere else but me, you'd have known," revali says, but link still stares at him with his head tilted, waiting for an answer. "one of my regulars, amali, runs the 'birdbath' cafe just down the street. she has an assortment of meals for you to choose from, you can just get one to-go."
they enter the cafe and amali starts greeting them until she realizes it's revali and then realizes it's revali with a guest and she's like IS THIS YOUR NEW NEIGHBOR??? and he's reservedly like Yeah... and now amali is fussing all over link and asking him about how he's settling in, is everything going okay, is revali nice to you, you can come in anytime you'd like! revali is like Pls....... we have 15 minutes until link has to go back to work just give him food girl
link is very excited about the entire menu because everything looks really good. "i'll have to come back here to try everything!" he tells amali and she's ecstatic. "i'm telling you, come back anytime! you're always welcome here," she says warmly.
and when link gets ready to pay, revali brushes him aside and offers his card to amali. amali gives revali a knowing look and accepts the card, but link looks up at him confused. "you don't have to..." he starts.
"i'll pay for you this time," revali mutters, averting his eyes. "i'm the one who dragged you out here after all." and link stares with those huge blue eyes.
"thank you," he says softly. "you're so kind, revali."
"that's our revali!" amali chuckles, handing revali his card back. "he might seem like all high and mighty, but he's really just a softie inside. why do you think he runs a flower shop?"
"amali!" revali gripes, flushing. "please just get link his food." he glances back at link, who's still gazing at him with an expression that revali doesn't know how to read. he looks at revali so softly, so tenderly, and... fond. revali swallows and adjusts his collar. is it hot in here or is it just him?
god this post is already so long but there is so much potential for so many revalink shenanigans in this au 🥺
link coming to get bouquets every week for his own store and learning how to make bouquets with revali
link showing revali his portfolio of tattoos and offering to give revali a tattoo for a discounted price only for revali to decline and link gets sad, until revali quickly says that he's scared of needles and link is like ohhh (but he's still kind of disappointed because he likes the idea of tattooing revali)
link secretly sketching and designing tattoos in his off-time that he think would look really beautiful and fit revali really well. and fantasizing about touching revali's biceps to tattoo him LOL
what if link had a tramp stamp. link with a tattoos on his ribcage and groin. tattoos behind his ear. he shows revali all of these irl in the shop and revali's face is so red he's just like Um. Yes Those Are All Very Nice. Yes. Please Put Your Clothes Back On.
link coming in to buy a bouquet of lilies for zelda and revali goes all tense and upset and is like. is that your gf. and link is like GOD NO that's my twin sister and lilies are her favorite flower and revali relaxes and is like oh. that's nice of you to get her some (but is secretly pleased that link doesn't have a significant other)
urbosa coming to visit the store at a time when link is there on his lunch break, and they get to introduce themselves to each other properly. revali is sitting there sweating the entire time and when link tells urbosa about how he comes here to spend his lunch breaks, urbosa smirks at revali, who's ready to shit himself
(urbosa texting revali later congratulating him on tapping that ass. revali screams at her that he has NOT done that. and she replies with "yet?". he threatens to block her)
everyone else on tabantha street realizing that link and revali are kind of having a Thing™ going on between them. and they all start planning to try to get them together. there's a reason why i have "i won't say i'm in love" from disney's hercules on my revalink playlist because everyone is getting in on Operation: Revalink trying to push revali into asking link out and he's like no nothing is going on between us i swear except he's spends all his breaks and off-time with link, taking him to cafes and paying for everything link orders, sitting in on tattoo sessions because link invites him over, teaching link how to make bouquets... ok so maybe they have something going on, leave me alone saki, i'm not going to ask him out
THIS WILL BE THE LAST SCENARIO I TALK ABOUT bc this post is so damn long now, but i imagine a scene where link asks revali about the vase of flowers on the counter and what kind of flowers they are. revali looks over at the forget-me-nots he's been carefully tending to and inhales, and tells link.
"those are forget-me-nots," revali says, in a voice that's uncharacteristically soft and vulnerable. it makes link sit up, becoming much more attentive to revali's demeanor. "they're perennial hardy flowers that die in the winter but regrow again during the spring. there's an old story about these little ones, where a knight and his lover were walking alongside a river. the knight reached down to pick the flowers that were growing near the river, but his armor was too heavy and he ended up falling in, only to be swept away by the river's current. if you ask me, it's a foolish way to go; why was he wearing such heavy armor anyway? but as he floated away, he threw the flowers he picked to his lover and shouted, 'forget me not!' and the flower was named as such."
revali reaches over to pull the vase closer and places it in between him and link. the flowers are small and delicate little things, a sweet shade of blue with a yellow center. both he and link touch the flowers as they do, with gentle fingers against the edges of the petals.
"these were the flowers that my father offered when he was courting my mother," revali says, gaze faraway. "as you can see, it worked out." he gestures to himself and link smiles. "they're supposed to represent everlasting love, a love so true and strong that it can't be forgotten." he pauses, rubbing a petal in between his fingers before continuing. "i've always wanted to offer a bouquet of these to someone that i love, in the same way my father did for my mother. as sentimental as it is, it's... romantic and meaningful."
"it is," link agrees softly. "whoever you give these flowers to will be very lucky to have someone like you." and revali makes the mistake of looking up to meet link's gaze, because that's where everything about him changes.
when he looks at link, the sun is shining through the windows of the shop, casting a golden glow over the blond. he gazes at revali with those wide blue eyes, the ones that revali has become increasingly enamored with in the time they've spent together, the same color as the forget-me-nots. beautiful, revali thinks and this time he doesn't shy away from the thought because it's true.
then, he takes a flower from the vase and reaches over the counter to slip it behind link's ear, tucking his hair as he goes. link stills, his eyes growing wider and his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink as revali's fingers touch his skin, gentle and featherlight, and for a moment in time, they're the closest they've ever been to each other since they've met. revali could probably count all of the freckles on spread across link's nose and cheeks. in this moment, revali wouldn't mind if they got closer than this. he'd like it a lot, actually.
but he pulls away and sits back down, admiring the way the flower sits prettily behind his ear, contrasting against link's golden hair and tan skin in the sunlight. link is still wide-eyed and pink-faced and it makes revali smile (just a little!). "yes, they'd be very lucky," he murmurs. "blue is definitely your color, by the way. you should wear it more often."
"th-thanks," link whispers, reaching up to touch the flower in his hair. "i'll keep that in mind."
yes, they could be closer than this. revali hopes that one day they could.
#revalink#loz#botw#loz botw#legend of zelda#amihan's revalinkverse#ask#cryiling#i was thinking about that one post i wrote about 'next door' by amelia moore ft astn while writing this#anyways did you catch the pun for revali's flower shop name lol#“the meadow” = “vah medoh”#on a superficial level the first option of revalink being store rivals makes sense and is pretty in character imo#but i cannot for the life of me not imagine link as quiet and bright-eyed and curious about revali#and revali being grumpy and trying to keep to himself but ultimately falling for how sweet and warm link is#i focused really heavily on the flower shop part of this but i just really love flower language shit#can you try to figure out why i chose certain flowers for things#plot twist: what if this was a hanahaki au#you guys i LOVEEEEE hanahaki aus so bad#i wanna write a revalink hanahaki au and i have a concept of one drafted in my revalink doc teehee#i wanted to include this one in the actual post but it's already too long so#imagine revali giving link a bouquet made of forget me nots + gardenias + sweet williams + snowdrops <3#crow when you read this YES i was thinking of jungkook and his sexy ass full sleeve of tattoos when i said link had a full sleeve
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Guys men irl are so scary like what I'm going to rant about is completely unrelated to what usually goes on my blog but I just need to go on an undeserved tangent cause WHAT
So, I work throughout the week in retail/drink service job in the tourism industry. Small island, all that. It's towards the end of work but the line is busy and wouldn't you know it, a man comes up to order. Now that I think about it, he was handsome, but he was just...staring me down, right in the eyes. Unblinking. I was a little uncomfortable.
And me, being the greatest talent to ever grace customer service and the tourism industry, makes decent eye contact back. Some people are confident like that (and I don't assume the worst or most suggestive of him). It's the same where I don't make much eye contact with customers who are shy. I'm not here to make customers uncomfortable or like they're not important, I'm here to make da bank with da load of tips.
So, he's friendly and I'm friendly and I notice his bank card is one of a local bank so I tell him he's getting a discount and honestly you guys I really just thought he was excited I was giving him a discount and when I ask him where he's coming from, he says a nearby area just off of work which automatically makes me assume he's a teacher. His attire and the time he's getting off of work just makes me assuming he's coming from school (which is important). But he's even nicer in the end and tells me it's nice to have met him, he'll see me around.
I'm also assuming he is NOWHERE near my age. I'm 19 turning 20. He's at least in his thirties, at most...maybe in his late twenties and he looks older? That's important too.
Great, my co-worker makes him his order and while I'm helping the rest of the line, I just see him staring in my area. But I'm humble so I'm thinking he's staring to see if his drink is coming out, that's until I'm glancing in his direction and he's staring right at me. He picks up his order and I thought he left, great.
Then it's twenty minutes later, we're ten minutes to closing and there's nobody out at my counter except for him. He comes up and just starts making small talk - and as someone who does not want a bad review or someone snitching to my manager, I'm very friendly. And stupid, cause if I saw what he was playing at, I wouldn't have cared if I seemed bored or turned off by him in hopes he picks up social cues. But nope you guys I'm a fucking dumbass and I'm just answering all his questions.
He asks me how long I'm working here and "Wow, that long? Never seen you around here before and I've been coming for the past couple of months, cool." And "What days do you work?"
I give him the fucking days I work!! Regulars have asked me that before so I think it's a harmless question and luckily I only have one sure day I work out of the week (Sunday). But I'm just throwing him information.
Then it's "Can i ask you a personal question?"
That's where I knew I fucked up. Then I fucked up even more when I answer no to the question "Do you have a boyfriend?" like BRUHH
I'm just so honest, so kind and so honest I'm fucking honest abe out here and it gets him to ask me if he can have my number...and I think yall already can tell I'm not interested (I dont have any interest in dating rn and just him asking me the first time he's met me at my work place, and other things which we'll get into later, I'm not for it)
So, Ik...I KNOW it's my complete fault for giving him my number. I do I know I KNOW-
I thought about giving him a fake number, but it's now obvious he is a local and a regular who now knows the days that I work and I'm lucky none of my coworkers (at the time) really witness what was happening but I'd hate for him to come on Sunday and just call me out in front of everyone. Ik they would completely support me in giving a fake number but it's just that I'm...extremely concerned what people think of me? I know it was mistake to not just say no or at least say "Oh I'm flattered but I'm at work I don't wanna get in trouble maybe if you see me out of here?". But yeah, always terrified of conflict. Even with strange men who, turns out - are correctly middle school teachers.
After I give him my number (the entire time I'm saying it'd be okay if I didn't and he's like...Yeah, but look at you - you're giving it to me now lol?), I asked him where in the town he works and he said the school.
Oh...and if there was any interest then, it just left me. Listen, maybe I can appear more innocent in the fact that sure, I secretly actually wanted to go out with him, then gave him my number only to find out a piece of information that completely turns me off.
I ask him if it's the high school or the middle school and he goes "middle school". It doesn't matter, I went to both. It just...weirded out, because another thing you may want to know about me is that I am 19 turning 20, but I still look 14, which fun
I'm not even exaggerating, it shows in when I told my story to my co-workers, all of whom got kinda weirded out that a man who looked to be in his thirties asked me out because they said, I quote "No offense, but you look...younger than you are. Like, not above the age of 18 younger...so I can't imagine someone even in their mid twenties thinking you'd be able to date." Like damn alright ig if you say so, but I know it too, so that's probably another reason why I just found him...weird? Like, I know you're thirty and over and I'm almost twenty, which fine. But you KNOW I might not be of age or don't look it, so that mixed in with the fact that he works at a middle school that my sisters only left a couple of years ago...I just, idk man. I know I'm an adult but in my head, my old teachers and teachers in general are just mentor and near-parental figures in my head so it's like...I can't date that.
Maybe if you were ten years older and a cartel member or a whiny billionaire or SSA Hotchner sorry dude
Which, that shows when he asks me how old am I. Then he goes "At least college aged?"
I say "19 turning 20" and he just tilts his head from side to side and goes "Yeah, that's doable."
I want to give the world a peaceful thought, that this man was meaning to say "Yeah, that works or that's okay" and not doable. Like, YOU ARE do-able because
But even with the "Yeah, that works" option out of the two, it's still weird IDK but it's still WEIRD. And it turns out he's not even a long-time local, he's moved here pretty recently within the year, and now he's texting me to see if I should go out to dinner with him. I, now with the whole doable thing, have managed to not care if he thinks I'm a flaker or a coward, But I'm thinking I should straight up just apologize and say "Sorry, I'm super flattered you thought me worthy of taking me out and I wish I was at a time where dating would be easy, but to not waste your time, I'll just say that as much as I want to, I can't really be going out right now".
It sounds like it's easy enough to message so I can just get it over with, and a soft enough rejection that even if he does show up, that my immense anxiety is just gonna have to be shoved down my throat. I'll take that over him still pursuing me or just 'wasting his time' and 'leading him on'. I'll probably do that and just come to the conclusion that if I do, he won't think me so worthy of pursuing (harassing), even though I'm super amazing at my job
Not only are fictional men more tolerable but this would be more tolerable and easier if I was a fictional woman - and sorry for the overly long rant that is not even nearly as interesting or as terrible as some of these types of stories are. Writing just helps get the shivers out lol
#misc#ew plsss#makes me realize that the fictional stories of Madman are FICTIONAL#am I a hypocrite?#yes#but I am not Princesa#THIS experience proves that
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I'm so curious about the responses about the customer service regarding shu, I just know they would be really funny. He's a freakazoid weirdo
sure, i can copy & paste them! they're under the readmore because it's 29 responses and the post is super long
Shu responses
his demands are not on my level sir...
him or izumi. i feel like i would start crying instantly
Just remembering that one time he axed a pc, I know this isn't the same situation but it's still worrying.
He would be so rude. it was between Shu and Izumi aka the Karens of ES. Like sure wataru would pull some weird shit but that would be funny and I’d play along. Shu and Izumi would just scream at me as if it’s my fault that their favourite ice cream flavour ran out on a regular ass Thursday afternoon I’m not being paid enough to care about
i feel like it should be obvious. nightmare customer.
It. It's Shu. What else is there to elaborate, bro fought with a first year junior over bread in the cafeteria you think he's gonna cut ME some slack??
Shu was banned from using Twitter, I feel like he would be an awful Karen if he had to use customer service
he would have a really hard time speaking into the phone and following directions. i can deal with angry, miscommunication kills me
Karen energy
i feel like he would yell at me and i would cry then he would proceed to yell at me more for crying. or maybe Izumi would do that idk
I vaguely remember hearing that there was an incident where he axed (or almost axed) a computer bc of online comments or smth… so uhhhhhhhh yeah
if i mess up ONE THING he's going to start screaming at me in french
I hate the French language (I am French)
He can be really mean. And I don't speak French
i love shu but he's insufferable
itsuki shu axed his computer. itsuki shu is banned from social media. i have no doubts in my belief that he would be the WORST customer to be ever dealt with. you will hear this man be insanely specific about whatever kind of thing he's dealing with while you're stuck in your shift wanting to jump off a cliff as you speak to him. at some point in his complaints it strays away from what he actually wants from you and starts ranting about eichi and how he fucked up his life. if itsuki shu ever calls me im declining and blocking his number ASAP.
I would cry he's scary
can you fucking imagine.
I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH HIM 😭😭😭😭 LEAVE ME ALONE (NO HATE BTW)
shu would have me killed i fear he has the strongest karen energy out of the entire enstars cast
shu seems like he would feel entitled to getting a discount because i mispronounced a french word which offended him
He’s my silly little bingus freak but god he needs to calm tf down every once and a while… he also famously had his socmed privileges taken away by single hardworking mom ibara if i remember correctly… in conclusion, i’m handing the phone to someone else bruh never meet ur idols
i can't elaborate i'm getting scared just thinking about it
Not only do rich people have no idea how to treat retail workers like human beings, but Shu has a history of lashing out, sometimes violently! Love Shu with all my heart but is so picky and sensitive and i know that I will be yelled at
The second he pulls out 'non!' im gonna throw myself into a river
He’s really fucking perfectionistic i would cry but mayoi as a close second because he would just stay silent and not say anything but also not hang up for like 3 hours, he would be breathing heavily in the phone before letting out a squeak and hanging up ountil someone convinces him to call again and it just repeats
shu would yell at me :((( and i would start crying :((((
he's just kind of unbearable (complimentary) especially as any kind of customer
Everyone else's flavour of weird I can handle but I'd hand in my resignation if I needed to deal with Shu regularly. And I live a car ride away from France—I mean it.
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