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hournites · 3 years ago

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A lot of ways to love you (teach me through your eyes)

Hournite Week Day 7: Love Languages

Summary: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, Touch. Or, Rick, Beth, and their many languages of love.

Thank you for coming along on this first HN week journey with me! ❤️

~.~

Words of Affirmation

Beth found Rick by himself at the corner of their shared history class, carving his initials into the desk. She didn’t understand why he’d put himself there. It was like a brooding corner to be miserable.

“Hey,” she said, taking the seat in front of his desk. “What’s wrong?”

Rick dug deeper to splinter the wood. “They think I cheated on my chem test.”

Without asking, Beth unzipped Rick’s bag to pull out the test. Rick let her.

She gaped at him as she scanned over the F and comments from the teacher. He always treated Beth kindly when they passed in the halls, but she never actually had Mr. Geralds. Chemistry wasn’t her strong suit like Rick, but there wasn’t a doubt that she’d given some of the same answers with a great grade from the other science teacher. “Are you serious? That’s crazy. You’re going to contest that, right?”

“You’re not going to even ask if I did?”

“I know you didn’t, you’re too smart.”

“I used to steal shit,” he muttered under his breath and dropped his pencil. “Haven’t heard you say I’m too smart for that.”

Beth slipped his test into her folder to return to at a later time, right now focusing on Rick.

“Hey, that’s not fair.” When Rick wouldn’t meet her eyes, she leaned in closer. “Look at me.”

Rick did.

“You know you deserved a good grade. And you’ve done what you did to get by.” She glanced at the vandalism briefly. “There are people here who know you’re better than what the majority of the town thinks.” She lowered her voice to keep her next words between them. “You’re a hero. You’ve helped save everyone in this town. So show them who you really are.”

She smiled when he let out a small huff, she knew he was listening. “I’ll go to the principal’s office with you, and we can get Pat to vouch for us. We both know that for Chem you should be in AP.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” he lied, shifting uncomfortably from all her nice words.

“If it weren’t a big deal, you wouldn’t have done that.” She pointed at the roughened mess he’d made of the school desk. “I know you better than you think.”

Act of Service

“Has anyone seen Beth?”

Rick walked around the main area of Pat’s cabin. It was after 2 AM. Barbara and Jennie were making late-night comfort food in the kitchen. Pat was manning the first aid station, tending to Mike, Jakeem and Yolanda’s injuries from Sportsmaster. Courtney was bonding or something with the staff in some strange ritual she had after a life-threatening mission. Rick just stepped out of the shower, washing the grime from his arms and face.

“She’s upstairs, I think!” Yolanda called, holding her ribs from her seat on top of the table. Rick shook his head when Pat admonished her not to yell. Rick made it up the stairs two at a time, stopping when he found Beth with her packed school bag on the floor in front of the couch. She was searching through papers, openly crying. She hadn’t even taken her cape off yet.

Rick crouched down beside her. “Hey,” he said softly. She looked utterly exhausted. “Are you okay? You said you didn’t get hurt.”

“I’m not hurt.” She hiccuped, flipping through more papers, a little hysterical. It looked like it was for school. “I can’t find my math assignment. It’s due tomorrow morning.”

“Did you finish it?” he asked.

“I don’t remember.” She wiped at her tears as she cried harder. “I might’ve left it at home, I can’t find it. I’m too tired, I can’t think.”

“Yeah,” Rick agreed. His bones were weary but he had always felt the least affected after battling it out with the ISA. He suffered plenty of superficial cuts and bruises, but he hardly felt them because his hourglass really protected him. He couldn’t imagine the hit the night must’ve taken on Beth’s body. Pat was going to be driving them back to main Blue Valley at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning to get them back to school. It wasn’t ideal, but it was a random Wednesday. It’s not like they had a choice.

“Did you ask Chuck?”

“No.” Her lip wobbled, face contorting into another sob. Rick regretted asking. It was clear she was far too drained. It would’ve been simple to have asked Chuck to scan her bag to find out, but she hadn’t thought of it.

“Okay, okay,” Rick said. “Go to bed. You’re not going to be able to do the homework now even if you found it.” Rick got up to get to the top of the stairs, calling down for Barbara.

When he returned, he helped her up and managed to get her to let go of her school bag. “We’ll look for it before we leave, okay?” Rick ran a hand through his damp hair, his own eyelids started to droop. “I promise you’ll get it done before school.”

Barb joined them upstairs and coaxed Beth to change out of her suit, leading her downstairs with her regular clothes and a promise of a warm bed and tea.

Rick followed to grab Chuck when Beth wasn’t looking, turning him on once alone to help identify if this alleged math homework was even in her bag. Together they found what she was talking about. Ten problems of pre-calc. She was right. It was rushed and not done.

Rick sighed, tucking it under his arm. He said goodnight to the rest and retired to his assigned room. He turned on the lamp on the desk where he first solved the code of his father’s journal, spreading out the assignment and using Chuck as a calculator. It dawned on him an hour later as he rubbed at his tired eyes how he would be staying up all night to finish homework that wasn’t even his.

Gifts

Beth was immersed in her book when two hands landed on her collarbone. She looked down, touching the skin at the opening of her shirt when she felt the weight of something new at the base of her throat.

“What’s this?”

Rick murmured in her ear from behind. “An early birthday present.”

She let out a soft gasp when he finished with the clasp. A tiny brass hourglass pendant with sand just like Hourman’s trickled steadily beside her rainbow pendant.

“Woah.” She glanced up at him. “You got me an hourglass?” She bit down on her lip, dread creeping into her mind when she realized this had to be expensive. She struggled to voice what she was feeling out loud, but Rick must’ve caught the complicated expression on her face. He smoothed his hand along the sleeve of her cardigan and reassured her the cost didn’t push him into any kind of financial ruin.

“Did you not realize I’ve been working for Pat before school? I had some spare cash. Trust me, there’s nothing better I’d spend my money on.”

The puzzle clicked into place. Beth had been meeting Rick at the Pit Stop every morning before school for what felt like months now. It made sense he was there to work on the cars. Beth felt her face heat up at his implicit soft-spoken confession. “Thank you,” she said in a whisper, still in awe. The necklace was beautiful and she felt fuzzy ever since his hands were on her neck. “I love it.”

His eyes, usually hardened and defensive, skilled at warding off unwanted attention, now creased at the corners. Gentle, quiet, yearning, he watched her accept his gift. “I’m glad.”

Impulsively she asked, “Could you unclasp the rainbow one?”

Rick did. The chain pooled in her palm. She shook her head, pushing it to his chest. “You should have it.”

His brows furrowed in response. “You want to give me your... rainbow necklace?”

She flushed when he said it like that. She toyed with her new one, looking at him from beneath her lashes. “Well…” she said. “I have something of you, now you can have a symbol of me.”

Rick let out a small laugh. Beth was pretty sure if this were anyone else he’d say it was stupid, so she couldn’t help the surge of pride when he nestled her necklace around his own neck.

“How does it look?”

It was actually twisted. She flattened it so it would look the way it was supposed to over the collar of his shirt. Rick didn’t complain, but it was bright and cheery and clashed with his entire self. Beth bit her lip, withholding another laugh, and took pity on him, changing her mind to tuck the necklace underneath. “Perfect now.”

“Beth, I hate to interrupt this moment but you will be late for school if you don’t leave the Pit Stop in the next five minutes.”

Chuck broke them out of their weird double transfixion. They both found themselves smiling shyly at each other, neither truly wanting to move.

“Come on,” he said after another few moments of them smiling at each other without moving. “Put your bike in my trunk. I’ll drive you.”

Quality Time

When Rick stopped by at Beth’s locker, she was talking to Charity, a new close friend she made over the summer volunteering at the Blue Valley Community Centre.

“Hey,” Rick greeted, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, waiting for Beth to visit.

“Hey,” Charity said back. She swept her blonde bangs out of her face to continue their conversation.

“Charity had a great idea that we should enter for the sustainability case competition,” Beth filled in.

“We’re going to need at least a month to prepare. I was thinking we could meet Tuesdays and Thursdays after school?”

Rick stuck a hand in his pocket, sullen. Thursdays were their days, unofficially. Not that they’ve ever said so out loud, but with JSA training afternoons the rest of the week, Beth working on a case competition their days off basically meant not getting to see her. Which was fine. It happened. Rick just wishes it didn’t have to.

“I can’t on Thursdays,” Beth told her. She glanced up at Rick to give him a smile. He straightened up, meeting her gaze with obvious surprise. “Those are our nights.”

Charity paused, watching the two with curious eyes.

“We can cancel,” Rick found himself saying and actually meaning it. “You don’t have to stay on my account.”

Beth’s nose scrunched up as she shook her head, mind already made. “Nah. Sorry Charity, Thursday doesn’t work for me. Take out your schedule, maybe we have a shared free period somewhere.”

“Oh, yeah, sure! Okay!”

Rick ducked his head to hide his smile as Charity fished through her bag for her agenda.

Touch

When Beth stumbled out of the cell she’d been bound in, she hadn’t realized just how long she’d been gone. She was hungry and exhausted and felt horrifically dirty in her soiled Dr. Mid-Nite suit, but then she got a glimpse of Hourman nearly pushing the others in his rush to get to her all she could feel was relief.

Rick cupped her face, eyes squeezed shut as he held her close, his thumbs brushed along her cheeks, under her dry eyes. She felt the buzz of adrenaline rushing through him just by being so near, but the way he touched her was gentle, so gentle.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he whispered, a startling unfamiliar word to fall in succession like that, coming from Rick. His hands flew to the crown of her cowl, tugging it down to kiss her forehead again and again. “Thank you.”

I’m okay now, she tried to comfort him, though her words were choked, smothered out by the crushing weight of it all. He was crying as his lips brushed over her face. It wasn’t his stamina. The buzz, she felt. Rick was shaking. It hit her then, that maybe he wasn’t sure Beth was ever going to come back. Beth had scared him. He was scared.

Beth vaulted with her tired, numb legs, reaching to wrap her arms around his neck. Her mind went calm for the first time since before they left home, muscles relaxing as she let Rick scoop her up.

She was safe. She was home.

Beth was loved.

#hournite week #hournite #hournite week 21 #hournites fic #love languages #fluff #hurt/comfort #i'm proud of this one

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appleteeth · 4 years ago

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For @trekkies-unite! In no order and there's loads I can add to this, but these are the ones in my brain right now:

1) He was a bit of an arrogant prick before the accident. Not like a complete bastard but just a little too sure of himself and certain. This comes back now and again ("How many PHDs does Banner have? Seven.") but he checks himself because of guilt.

2) He absolutely wants to be touchy with people all the time. Like, just constantly interacting and being physical. He got really handsy with Thor on Sakaar because he had been Hulk for so long who has no such inhibitions and honestly? Thor is pretty.

3) After a Hulk-out, it takes him a while to get used to his body again. He thinks he still has these massive limbs and that he's going to reach out and punch a table across a room. Hence why in AOU he was ducking underneath a lamp that was too tall for him to walk into.

4) He is fiercely independent to a complete fault. Like, he will go out and buy a stepladder before he simply asks someone to grab something from up high. He slowly begins to unlearn that with the Avengers who just want him to know they're there for him.

5) His PTSD manifests in nightmares that make him jump out of bed and just start running. He's been found three floors down, hiding in a corner more times than he'd admit, and JARVIS/FRIDAY know to speak calmly with him until he knows he's safe and can go back to bed.

6) When he falls in love he falls HARD. Like with Betty he was doing so many nice things for her she got suspicious, like nobody is that considerate. Now with Thor he was worried he was going overboard at first but Thor loves affection and is just bowled over by all the kind things Bruce does for him.

7) He can throw together a meal from leftovers and he can McGyver things like cars and computers to get them working in a pinch. But just don't ask him to bake. He takes it as seriously as a science experiment and can be in the kitchen for days just working on one cupcake.

8) So there is mention of Rick Jones in TIH film but he's not included in Bruce's origin. So my idea is that Rick signed up for the human trial (because he needed the $200). Bruce realised something was off about the test but not what exactly, but Ross threw his weight around and threatened to fire Bruce if he didn't go ahead. So Bruce paid Rick from his own pocket and put himself forward for the trial, not wanting this kid to get hurt if his bad feeling was correct, but also still naive and proud enough to assume it would go fine.

9) He will make and join in with jokes about himself to no ends. But mention his parents or his upbringing and he will get as angry as it's possible to be without turning green. (I also think nobody knows what happened to him, as he spent a long time wiping that information from his files. If people find out it's by finding the court case information by chance, but other than that, it will take a while before he will open up. I imagine one day he just spills it all out in one long run-along sentence in front of the whole team who gape in shock.)

10) He doesn't drink but he does smoke weed, but not to the extent people think. It's usually when his brain is wired and Hulk is on edge too. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but he usually gets giggly and watches shit action films and it's a great distraction.

11) He tries to keep a vegan diet, but if he's had a long time in the backseat of his brain, he needs protein and FAST and he's not with the avengers, he may forgive himself a cheat day.

12) He hates press conferences or any interviews that aren't about his scientific work, so if pressed he gets Hulk to do them. They are always beyond hysterical and go viral every time, either because Hulk will punch a tank or throw something into space or his answers to questions are amazing. Bruce loves them because not only is Hulk funny but it's a joy to see how far he's come in terms of interacting with others.

13) Bruce still wants kids, he just won't talk about it. Him being a mentor for Kamala brought all those feelings back and now he volunteers to help out the younger supers like it's a chore but it makes him so happy to do so.

#headcannons #oh man i could go on anc probably will #bruce banner

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Cruel Love (10)

Words: 3,5

Chapters:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

(Y/N’s POV)

I have to admit at first I didn’t want to drive, I’m a terrible driver my car and the FBI’s car had a lot of scratches everywhere and I didn’t want to leave San’s car the same way something tells me he wouldn’t care but I anyways drove as best as I could but keeping it that way was hard since I could feel San’s deep stare while driving, it was definitely making me blush and giving me a thousand thoughts but I tried to ignore it for as long as I could.

“You know you’re not supposed to distract the driver right?” I say with a smile, without taking my eyes off the road.

“I’m not doing anything” He teased

“You’re staring at me”

“I just think you look gorgeous with my hoodie”

I unglued my eyes from the road to look down at my body, shit I forgot I’m wearing his hoodie. “I’m sorry I kept wearing it” He laughs and I chuckle, he sounds more relaxed now but not completely.

“You don’t have to apologise to me” There’s a red light and I take advantage of that to look at him “Like ever”

San is so sweet and I can’t help but feel like shit, my initial idea was doing something good for him to release the noticeable stress he was carrying on his shoulders but while driving I got the stupid idea of taking him to the FBI and forget this beautiful fantasy ever happened. I hated myself for having that second idea so I pushed it back, really back on my mind and threw it in a trash can. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to give Irene all the updates but for now I don’t want to think about that. The light changes back to green and I get back to driving.

“You look tense princess” He says with a frown.

“Is it that obvious oh god” I ask while I touch my cheek as I feel it warming up “I’m a terrible driver” I confess ashamed.

“You’re doing great” I snicker shyly. Anyone else in the world would get nervous if the designated driver suddenly admits they’re bad at driving, why is he so calmed?

“I guess you haven’t seen my car” I say while looking at him for half a second and get my eyes back on the road immediately “But it’s okay we’re almost there"

"We can play some music and maybe that’ll relax you” I’m hesitant, I think music distracts me even more but San’s hand is already turning on his radio.

“It’s all about finding the right song” The first seconds of around twelve songs passed but none of those convinced him he was about to give up and turn it back off but then he stopped in one and smiled at me “This one is perfect”

“The Beach Boys?” Wouldn’t it be nice was playing, in the corner of my eye I saw him and he looked pleased.

“Yeah why not” He playfully asks “We can sing it together”

“What?” My eyes go wide open along with a smile “You don’t wanna hear me singing”

“It’s only for relaxing purposes princess and wouldn’t it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?” He starts singing and I listen in awe, he had to be sweet, caring, handsome and have a gorgeous voice didn’t he? “Come on this is a classic I know you know the lyrics”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake up in the morning when the day is new? And after having spent the day together” I stop singing and laugh embarrassed “I can’t but you keep going”

“What? You sound perfect princess” He replies “Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray It might come true”

He keeps singing and clapping his hands and I actually pay attention to the song and I can help but feel upset a sigh leaves my body wouldn’t it be nice if I had met San under different circumstances. I stop the car abruptly and he looks at me surprised and confused.

“I need you to cover your eyes” I say softly he looks at me with squinted eyes but does as I say.

I drive just a little bit more and he grows impatient, are we there yet? He keeps asking and I keep saying no I have to admit he sounds… Adorable.

It looks like it didn’t rain around here and that’s a relief my plan would’ve been ruined a little if it had.

“Okay we’re here but don’t uncover your eyes yet” I say and I undo both of our seat belts.

I get out of the car and a nice breeze of fresh air hits me, this is one of my favourite places so I really hope he likes this. I open San’s door and I walk behind him covering his eyes so he doesn’t cheat.

“Okay here it is” I remove my hands from his eyes and he gasps.

“The ocean?” He looks around completely amazed.

“Yeah but that isn’t all the beauty of this place look up” San does as I say and he looks like an excited child and I smile at the sight of the stars reflected in his eyes “There aren’t buildings around here and as you can see it’s pretty dark and because of that the stars are more visible. And well you see, a sweet and handsome man once told me that after an orgasm you’re supposed to see the stars but I didn’t bring you here to have sex but I still wanted you to see the stars” He looks back at me and a soft smile grows in his face making his eyes slowly desapear.

“How do you do that princess” A confused expression shows on my face.

“Do what?”

“Make my heart flutter”

I felt shivers down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. San you make my heart flutter as well I thought to myself. If someone had told me that I would be feeling this way towards San when I had just started this case I would’ve probably laughed hysterically, and if someone had told me years ago that a man was going to look at me with such tenderness in his eyes and hold me and protect me like I’m the most precious diamond on earth I probably would’ve been sad and mad at them for making such jokes.

“There’s something I want to know princess” He lays his long black coat on the sand for us to sit “I just told you I’m the leader of a big Mafia aren’t you scared or curious about it, you look so calmed”

“Well yeah I’m a little curious, but when you told me about it it sounded like you were nervous about it I don’t wanna push you or something we have plenty of time” He looks touched at my words

“We can talk about it, I trust you enough, ask away”

To be honest I didn’t want more details, the more details I had the more details Irene had. But San wanted to talk about it and changing the conversation would be plain rude.

“How did it started” I say quietly

He sighs but doesn’t look bothered by my question “I didn’t build it on my own, I had a friend and we both worked as hitmen for his grandfather, I started getting closer with him and soon he considered me his grandson too and his right hand, I stopped being just a hitman to be involved in all the things he did as well” he takes a pause to look at me “But then age started doing things to him, he realised that he couldn’t work anymore and he left the big empire he created to the person he trusted the more, at that time we all thought it would be his grandson but he gave it to me”

“Did he die” I ask

“No, he’s still alive but he doesn’t remember a thing I think he still recognises some people but not so much” He says and his voice sounds sad I guess that man is someone San looked up to.

“But please don’t think bad of me princess, I know I was a hitman but I only killed bad people, real criminals, I always did my research and I never killed innocent people—”

I cut him off by placing one of my fingers on his lips I give him a quick smile and I rest my head on his shoulder while holding is hand “You really don’t have to explain that to me” I feel his shoulder relaxing as I let out those words “And what happened after that, it must have been a lot of pressure for you”

“It was, especially since my friend got really mad at me after his grandfather picked me and not him and that’s understandable but I had no control over that, I told him we could work together and make it even bigger but he left and made his own businesses” He rests his head on mine and sighs “After that Wooyoung, Seonghwa and Hongjoong joined me I felt bad since we were long time friends and I knew they had different plans for their lives but I needed men I could trust and they needed money so we worked together, later on Yunho, Mingi, Yeosang and Jongho joined, and we build it even bigger we got deals not only here but outside the country too, like Japan, Italy, Colombia, Mexico and many more and deals with politicians as well, I have control pretty much on everything around here and outside, my old man was scared to get this out of the country but we’re careful with everything we do and it has been going well so far”

I’m left without words, knowing all of this I think I can see and understand what I thought it was his dark side. He has this job not because he wanted to but because someone trusted him. Yeah he killed people but he only killed bad people, while being a detective I’ve known cops and judges who have killed or imprisoned good and innocent people and those cops and judges don’t get the punishment they deserve all because of their high positions those people are the real criminals.

“You still don’t look slightly concerned or scared” He saids and pulls me out of my thoughts.

“You want me to be scared of you?” He laughs as he shakes his head.

“No, I just expected a different reaction”

“It’s because I don’t have or had the best lifestyle and I don’t think I’m in the place to judge you or be scared of you”

“Being a sex worker isn’t something to be ashamed of princess” I wasn’t talking about that, or me being a detective.

“It’s not that, and I’m not ashamed about being a prostitute, I was talking about my past, I think I’ve killed a man” I take a second to process why I said it and why I said it as if it was nothing.

“You think?” He looks confused.

I don’t understand why but I keep going “Do you remember I told you about me being homeless for some time” He nods “And then how a man found me, I lived with him only for a few months, but it felt like an eternity at first I thought I was in love with him he took care of me and paid for my food and other stuff but” I start trembling a little but I force myself to endure it and stop “When I saw myself in the mirror and I finally noticed all the bruises I had I realised that that wasn’t love and I had to leave that place or else I’d end up dead” His chin trembled like he’s holding back tears and that pained my heart “One night I got him drunk really drunk, when he passed out in his room I set the place on fire and I locked all the doors so he couldn’t escape and I ran as fast as possible, so fast and so much that I ended up right here, I cried so much but it felt like a cry of victory not of sadness, I stayed here till the sunrise this place made me feel safe and at peace it became my secret and favourite spot” I sigh “I never went back or tried to find out if he died or survived, I survived and nothing else mattered”

The wind and waves is the only sound, he pulls me into his lap and I wrap my legs around his waist resting my arms on his shoulders. He’s lost at words just as I was after he talked about his life.

“You don’t have to carry that on your own any longer” He said while holding my cheek and he was right, I think at this point he already knows almost everything about me and it felt so relieving letting out all the secrets I held on my own for so long, it felt liberating.

“I just told you that I think I’ve killed a man but you don’t look scared of me Sannie” His sad puppy expression changes into a small smile.

I rest on my back with my legs still wrapped around San bringing him down with me, I give him a quick kiss and as I saw him and his sparkling eyes, his dimples, his gentle touch and my heart out of control I realised something. I like him… so much, and I don’t want to keep this going fuck Irene and this mission she and the FBI can go and fuck themselves, this is the only good and real thing that has happened in my entire life and I don’t want it to end, even if I end up in jail for not following my contract I won’t do this to San he doesn’t deserve this.

“What are you thinking princess?” He asks suddenly bringing me back

“Choi San I think I like you too” His eyes go wide open and his jaw drops, he gets up from our hold and he looks like he cannot believe what I just said, he points his index finger at himself and a soft almost inaudible me? leaves his lips. “Yes you, I like you”

He runs towards the ocean with his arms open “She likes me back” He yells with happiness and excitement as the waves touch him. I run to him and I jump onto his torso, he catches me and our bodies fit so well, Lucy was right and I finally found the missing piece of my puzzle. “Princess with those words you just made me the happiest man on earth” He kisses me, slowly, his hands are on my tights lifting me and I want to stay this close for longer. His lips feel so good pressed against mine, his tongue feels so good dancing with mine.

He walks back to our spot, with me still in his arms, the moonlight covering and protecting us, this doesn’t feel like the beginning criminal and undercover detective, right now this is just us, simply as that. I lie on San’s coat him by my side, he shifts his body to lie on his side, I cup his cheek bringing him closer to me I leave a kiss on his lips a long lasting one and move on to his neck.

“Don’t do that princess or else we’ll end up fucking right here” I laugh at his words

“That’s the point” A sensual grin appears on his face, I want to feel his touch and he understands my begging eyes, his wet hair drips water droplets onto my face. He kisses me rough and I can’t understand how just a kiss gets me on fire, I feel my entire body burning. He brings his hand to my neck and trails it down down the valley of my breasts, down my stomach just with his fingertips until he stops, he lifts my dress up and I no longer feel exposed or shy in front of him.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He goes back to kissing me and his hand back to my stomach right above my underwear. His touch is so slow but he knows exactly what he’s doing. His hand reaches into my panties, and a soft moan comes from my lips and I feel him smiling between our kiss. His fingers move a little “You’re so wet princess, you feel so good” he says as I moan “I love that sound princess moan for me” His fingers go faster, I feel like I’m gonna explode my hands travel to his neck and to his hair, his fingers still inside me going in circles, I bring him closer to me kissing and leaving a mark on his neck, he groans, it’s like music to my ears. “I can’t get enough of you, y/n” it’s been a long time since he called me by my name, his voice sounds raspy and deeper, filled with lust. it sounds so hot when he says it. “I want to kiss every single inch of you” He whispers. I’m hypnotized by his brown eyes staring fervently into mine. He kisses me, his lips are demanding, soft and slow, he leaves a trail of kisses down to my neck, my chest, my stomach, his fingers suddenly stopping and I wanted to scream, I want more, but then I felt something even better, his tongue, this feels like paradise. I run my fingers through his hair, I’m desperate I want him deeper inside of me.

"San please” I cried, his hands squeezing my tights, his lips felt so good, his tongue felt even better, I was moaning out of control. I look down at San looking up at me and grinning, his hair wet and pressed down on his forehead, his tongue extended, my back arched and my legs twitching, I throw my head back and I feel this huge relief. It’s almost painful yet so satisfying. I push him so he rests on his back I get on top of him taking him by surprise he took the lead for too long now it’s my turn. I wanted to kiss him forever, I kissed his neck and he loved it as much as I do. The bulge in his thin boxers growing, I reach down caressing San, Fuck he whines, my fingers go around him and I wiggle them a little. I lean down, opening my mouth I take him in, his moans are desperate and I just can’t get enough of that sound and how I’m the one provoking it, his hips rock upward to meet my mouth. I push myself further, taking all of him in, and look up at him. His eyes are rolled to the back of his head and his breathing is slow and heavy, he looks heavenly.

“Fuck… princess” he gasps my hand moves up and down on the bottom of him as my mouth works the tip. I look up at him and I love the way he is losing control because of me. I pull away teasing him, I get it inside of me all at once it’s painful but I get used to it in a matter of seconds, he wraps his arms around me, He groaned low in his throat when I started grinding against him. I moaned against his lips, his tongue swiping across my top lip biting it down as he thrusts his hips up.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stay here forever.

340 notes · View notes

mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago

Text

Not father by blood, but still your father; Roger Taylor x reader (oc! child)

*Author’s note*

Well after a full day of writing this idea in my head, I finally worked up the courage to post this. Sorry if it feels a little rushed with the romance stuff, but I hope the platonic stuff fills all of you with warm feels and gooeyness. There's not really much warning except for the arsehole Paul Prenter who has to ruin everything. So I hope you all enjoy this fic and don't forget to like and comment below and above :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

@mexifangorl

@platawnic

___________________________________________________________

Never did he think he’d be ready for this step so soon. But the second he set eyes on (y/n) (l/n), Roger Taylor was twitterpatted. It was 1971 when he first met her. Just shortly after Queen had recorded their first album, he was browsing through a record shop one day and that’s when he heard her recommend the new Hendrix album over the AC/DC.

From that moment on, it was love and first sight with Roger. But of course flirter that he was, she at first wasn’t interested but after a few attempts at being a gentleman at various occasions like whenever she saw him perform at the bigger pubs and small venues, she decided to give him a chance.

After about six months of being together, the longest he had ever had a committed relationship, (y/n) confessed something to him. She was petrified to tell him but he assured her that he wasn’t going to flee no matter what it was.

It was then she confessed that she had another guy in her life. At first Roger thought she was cheating on him but it was then she told him it wasn’t another boyfriend, but her son.

About a year before she met Roger, she and her ex-boyfriend dated for a good six years together, soulmates at college. That was until she found out that she was pregnant and at first she thought he was cool with it, until one day his stuff was packed and he was nowhere to be found. He never called or wrote to her telling her where he had gone, it was like he vanished off the face of the earth.

It was then any other relationship she tried to start up with, as soon as a kid was brought up, every guy high-tailed to the hills and didn’t want another date.

Surprisingly for Roger, he didn’t flee. I mean yeah a kid is a big responsibility but he was just in admiration of how strong she truly was knowing that even after all that she went through, she somehow still managed to keep a job at the café she worked in, raise a son all on her own and still somehow be this vibrant spirit he saw her to be.

Roger also decided that he would like to meet the little guy because if he was going to be in her life, then he needed the approval of the man who loved her most. And let’s just say the day Roger met little Caleb, he fell for him just like he fell for his mother.

Even at just 18 months old, Caleb immediately took to Roger and always wanted to be around him. He’d crawl over to him and try to stand up on his own by using Roger’s jeans as an anchor for pulling himself up.

As Caleb grew older, he came to see Roger as the father figure he needed. And Roger was more than happy to fill in that role. He taught Caleb everything from cars, to drums, hell by the time the kid was 4 he bought him his own mini-drum kit (hoping to teach him to play before Brian weaseled his way into teaching him guitar, or Freddie with the piano).

In fact all the boys of Queen grew to love Caleb like their own nephew and they couldn’t help but spoil the boy too much, especially Freddie.

It was now 1975 and the boys were off at Rockfield farm recording their 5th album “A night at the Opera”. But they were also prepping something else, for tomorrow was July 23rd, and that meant for the boys of Queen that it was going to be Caleb’s 6th birthday.

(Y/n) and Caleb were planning to get there by morning so that meant she was probably driving them all the way to the farm as they speak. Freddie and Brian were putting up the last of the decorations while Deacy tended to the cake.

“Please tell me the cake got done properly this time.” Said Roger as he came down the stairs with the gifts.

“No worries Roger, never doubt my baking skills. At least Brian and I know how to deal with eggs.”

“That was one time Deacy!” Roger exclaimed.

“Try seven. You’re lucky (y/n) came along when she did and at least tried to stop you from doing it the 8th time in a month.”

“Oh sod off! Fred, Bri the streamers up yet!?”

“Take it easy darling you can’t rush perfection.” Freddie said.

“I’m not rushing perfection, I’m rushing you!”

“Take it easy Rog, we’ll get this up in plenty of time.” Brian tried to assure his long time bandmate.

“Sorry, it’s just I want this party to be perfect for Caleb.”

“And it will Rog, you’re just overreacting. And as I’ve told you before darling there’s only room in this band for one hysterical queen.” Freddie said as he finished tacking the last of the streamers. “There, perfect!” he clapped his hands before stepping down the ladder.

“I honestly don’t get why we’re doing this. All this is is a distraction.” Paul’s voice piped in. Roger glared at him to see the snake leaning against the stairway and he snapped at him.

“If you don’t like it here then I’ll happily call you a cab back to London.”

“As your day to day assistant I have to be here.”

“Then if you’re going to complain take it up outside with the cows because they can take your shit. And I better not see you smoking anywhere near Caleb when he gets here!”

“For once I agree with Rog, so what’s it going to be Prenter?” asked Deacy. Paul knowing he couldn’t truly speak his mind, especially when Freddie was in the room he said.

“Just don’t make them stay long. Do the party for one day then kick them out.”

“They’re going to stay here as long as they want. Besides it’s been forever since I’ve seen the little tike. Why should you get to keep him all to yourself Roger?” Brian said. Roger grinned and said.

“Because I am his father and I forbid you to see him. Plus I know about those guitar lessons you’ve been trying to sneak him behind my back May.”

“Just saying, he’d look much better with a guitar in hand. Because the next thing we need in this world is another Roger Taylor. And god help us all when that day comes.” It was then Roger threw a birthday horn at Brian’s head.

“Children please. We can all murder each other but then who would be left to decorate the home for Caleb?”

“You and me Fred. So please both of you kindly set you rivalry aside and get back to work.” Deacy said as he got to work decorating the cake.

As the night went on by around 11:30 the boys finally got the house all set up for a six year old’s birthday party.

“Well I think that’s everything.” Said Roger.

“It looks good.” Said Brian admiring their hard work.

“Of course it is Brian because I designed the theme. That darling little boy is going to love it.” Freddie said.

“We’ll see come morning. What time did (y/n) say she’d be here?” asked Deacy to Roger.

“She said she’s be getting on the road at about 2-3am so that way she’d be here by around 7 maybe 8am.”

“Alright well my darlings I think after all this, we deserve a good night’s rest. Because tomorrow is party time!” Freddie proclaimed.

“Just don’t get drunk like last year Fred.” Lectured Brian.

“Don’t worry I took out all the booze this time around.” Deacy said. And with that the four band members heading towards their rooms and got a good night’s rest because tomorrow they knew they were in for a wild ride.

By dawn at the rooster’s crow, Roger groaned and placed his pillow over his face trying to block out the sound of the crowing. But then he also heard the sound of a car pulling up along the gravel driveway.

At first he thought nothing of it, that was until he remembered what day it was.

“Caleb. Birthday. Today! SHIT!!!” He quickly raced towards the window and saw (y/n)’s car pulling up and heard the engine shut off. “Fuck!” he quickly got dressed and of course in such a rush, he tripped a few times getting his pants on before banging along the walls trying to wake up Freddie and Brian. “WAKE UP YOU LOT THEY’RE HERE!!”

He raced out only to see that he wouldn’t be the first one to greet them. Ever the early rise he was, Deacy and (y/n) separated from their hug and they turned to look towards Roger.

“Well finally decided to wake up eh?” Deacy mocked.

“You…..I’ll deal with you later.” He sneered.

“Please Roger, no fighting with your rhythmic partner. Especially with the birthday boy present.” (y/n) said as she walked up to him and cooled his hot-headedness with a peck to the lips.

“Where is he?”

“Still asleep in the back. Little man slept through the entire ride over here. It hurt me to wake him up so early so that we could get on the road early enough to beat the London summer traffic.”

“Well it’ll all be worth it. I think he’s gonna love what we did for him inside.”

“And there she is! (Y/n) darling.” They turned to see Freddie and Brian standing along the porch. Freddie in his nightly kimono they got from Japan and Brian in a simple tank top and some shorts.

“Freddie, Brian. So sorry to have you guys wake up so early. Especially you Bri, I know how terrible you are in the mornings.”

“This is the one day of the year I’ll be okay with getting up at the crack of dawn. Need any help unloading anything?”

“Yes, I’ve got some of the remaining presents as well as some party games. If you lot could help me…..”

“Oh darling don’t be ridiculous, you will not be lifting a finger. You’ve already sacrificed some sleep just to get here, let us handle the unpacking while you and Roger handle the birthday boy.” Freddie said as he came up to (y/n) and placed both his hands on her shoulders.

“But—”

“He’s right love. The guys can handle the stuff.” Roger assured her. With the famed baby blue puppy dog eyes, she knew she couldn’t say no.

“Alright then you two. Come help me out then.” Deacy said as he unlocked (y/n)’s trunk and grabbed a few of the presents. Freddie grabbed the board games while Bri got the rest of the presents. As she went to open up the back door of her car, she told the guys to be quiet and they did as the three of them rushed back into the house.

“Here stay out of sight for a bit till I get him to wake up. Want to make this a surprise, I never told him where we were going.” Roger grinned and hid behind the car and got down so that he’d stay out of sight.

She opened the door and stroked her son’s cheek as she softly called out.

“Caleb. Caleb love.” He stirred and rubbed his hands over his eyes as he groaned and began to wake up.

“Mummy?”

“Hey handsome boy, time to rub Mr. Sandman’s sand out of your eyes. We’ve arrived at our destination.” Once Caleb became a bit more aware of where they were now, he asked.

“Where are we mummy?”

“Well baby; since I knew you were pretty bummed about the guys missing your 6th birthday party due to them recording their album, I thought I might bring you to a very special place. And there’s someone special who wants to see you.” (y/n) turned towards Roger and he slowly came into the frame and he said.

“Someone mention me?”

“Daddy!” Caleb called out. He struggled to get out of his seatbelt. Both Roger and (y/n) chuckled as (y/n) reached in to unbuckle him.

“Hold still sweetie, I know you’ve missed your daddy but you gotta stay still for a second.” Once she got him unbuckled, she moved out of the way and Caleb immediately flew into Roger’s arms.

Rog spun his boy around and playfully nuzzled him.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

“What? What?”

“Do you know what today is?”

“Hmm I don’t know is it…..Christmas?”

“No silly that’s still a long ways away. Although I wish it was Christmas.” Roger chuckled and he adjusted Caleb from his hip to around his waist.

“Okay is it……your first day of primary school?”

“Ewww no!”

“Then I don’t know, what is today bubs?”

“My birthday!”

“Your what?”

“My birthday!”

“It’s not your birthday.” Teased Roger.

“Yes it is.” Giggled Caleb.

“Oh really? Well if it’s your birthday then how old are you today?”

“Six years old, going on seven.”

“Six!? Wow that makes you a man now huh?” Caleb nodded enthusiastically while (y/n) playfully rolled her eyes.

“Please don’t make my baby boy think he’s too old for his mummy.”

“Oh never my love. No matter how old he gets, a boy will always need his mum, right champ?”

“Right! Love you mummy.”

“And I love you my little baby bear.” She cooed as she Eskimo kissed him while cupping his face and giving him multiple pecks all over his face. He groaned and ewed at the wet kisses he was receiving till he finally buried his face into Roger’s neck.

“Alright squirt, let’s get you inside.” Roger then carried Caleb into the house while the birthday boy kept asking if he could play with the farm animals, Roger answered with a maybe.

The three of them entered the house which had all of the lights turned off.

“Why’s it so dark in here?” Caleb asked a bit fearfully as he clung onto Roger’s jeans.

“It’s alright bubs, I’ll turn on the lights for yah.” The second the lights came on; Freddie, Brian and Deacy popped out from their hiding spots throwing confetti everywhere, blowing on small birthday bugles proclaimed.

“SURPRISE!!” Caleb’s face went full on ecstatic as he raced up to his uncle Freddie first who happily picked him up and spun him around.

“Happy birthday you lovely darling!”

“I can’t believe you guys are really here.”

“Better believe it lad, happy birthday buddy.” Deacy said as he placed the birthday crown on top of Caleb’s head.

“A crown befitting a prince, don’t you think so Roger? (Y/n)?”

“Indeed Freddie, and a very cute prince at that.” (y/n) teased as she gently pinched her son’s cheek.

“Mum! Prince’s aren’t supposed to be called cute!” he whined out as he rubbed his cheek.

“Oh right sorry, I meant handsome.”

“Alright Caleb, what would you like to do first?” asked Deacy.

“Presents!” the boy exclaimed.

“Uhh sweetie, how about we hold off on presents for a little while.” (y/n) told her son.

“Oh come off it (y/n) dear. Caleb is such a good boy plus it’s his birthday. If he wants to open up presents first, then he shall open his presents.” Freddie said as he playfully jostled the boy in his arms making him laugh.

“Fred you’re going to spoil that boy.” Roger said.

“I’m his godfather I’m allowed to spoil him. Now let’s open some presents.”

“Yaaaaay!” cheered Caleb as Freddie took him over to the ‘birthday chair’ (which was just one of the chairs from the kitchen but had some paper folded on the two top ends to make them look like a throne).

“Okay my darling Caleb you’re gonna want to open mine first because it’s the best present ever.” Freddie said as he gave him a very large (and when I mean large, I mean large, it could’ve been as tall as Caleb was standing up).

“Freddie what did you get him?” asked (y/n).

“Spoilers darling, go on Caleb dear open it up.” Almost immediately, the six year old boy is ripping up the wrapping paper and opened up the box to reveal a large shark bag chair with open jaw and everything. Since he saw the film JAWS, Caleb had been obsessed with sharks so when Freddie saw this while touring in America, he thought only one person had to have it.

“Wow!”

“You like it dear?”

“I love it, thanks uncle Freddie this is the best gift ever!” Caleb hugged his godfather thanking him repeatedly.

“Alright Caleb why not open the rest of your presents just so that your uncles and daddy don’t feel left out hmm?” he nodded and proceeded to open the rest of his presents.

From Brian he got some space coloring books and a Lego space set. Deacy got him some animal books and a new stuffed lion (he, Roger and Caleb considered themselves the lion coalition since they were all born under the Leo zodiac). Roger gave him some Hotwheels model cars as well as a new drum set that almost resembled the set that Roger uses on stage (Queen design included), and his mom gave him the typical mom gifts some new clothes (but she got clothes that she knew he’d like that would have sharks or monster trucks on them) as well as a new teddy bear.

After presents, Deacy brought in the cake and Freddie lit the candles. Brian picked up the birthday boy and they all gathered around the kitchen and everyone began to sing happy birthday to him. (Y/n) setting up the video camera began recording to keep the memory of this day forever in the years to come.

Caleb felt like the luckiest boy on earth because to him it wasn’t just his family that was singing to him, but when you can say your family is Queen, it makes you feel even more special. After the song, he closed his eyes to make a wish before blowing out the candles. Everyone clapped and cheered then Deacy began cutting the cake.

It was the typical family picture for a kid’s birthday party (minus all the screaming kids). Caleb telling the guys some of the things he’s done since summer holiday started for him, the four men listening intently, smiling and laughing. Pictures were taken all thanks to Brian, and for the rest of the day it was game time.

From musical chairs, twister, scrabble (of course they let Caleb win a few rounds), to pin the tail on the donkey. Caleb enjoyed playing each game because he liked playing with his family, especially his dad.

Later that night, Caleb was in the living room cuddled between his parents. He held his stuffed lion close to him as he leaned against his daddy’s arm.

“Did you have a good birthday bubs?” asked Roger. Caleb hummed tiredly as he cuddled closer to him.

“Seems our birthday boy’s tired himself out.” Said (y/n). She strokes her son’s cheek and she tells him, “Caleb, sweetie, would you like daddy and I to make you a bath before bedtime?” he nodded.

“Alright pal, I’ll come down and get you once your mum and I get the bath ready. Don’t fall asleep till then okay?”

“I’ll try.” Caleb says tiredly as he rubs his eyes. The two adults chuckle softly and stand up before heading upstairs to prep his bath.

As Caleb stretches himself out and yawns he then hears a voice say.

“Seems you had a good birthday.” He turns around and soon coming into the living room was Paul Prenter.

“Mm-hmm, it was fun.”

“The lads and your mum sure did spoil you.”

“Yeah. I like it when they do.”

“You know I shouldn’t probably say this but I’m not sure you know what exactly Freddie and the boys do.”

“I know who they are. They’re Queen, the greatest rock band ever.”

“That they are. And their fame is only going to keep growing, especially after this album.”

“Uncle Freddie says he’s gonna let me listen to some of the songs tomorrow.”

“And what a lucky boy you must be. I mean might as well let you have one final moment with them before they’re too busy for you.” Caleb turned to the Irish man and asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well after this album takes off, it’ll be nothing but non-stop tours, album recordings, concerts, press interviews, Queen will be the highest band in the world. Even bigger than the Beatles. They won’t have time for family matters.”

“Huh? But they always have time for me.” It was then Paul sighed clearly showing his annoyed impatience as he continued.

“Alright for your own sake I’ll be blunt. They won’t have time to spend with you. In fact you’ll just be a distraction to their work. Especially Freddie. He is the leader of Queen after all and he can’t have his vision compromised by a child. John and Brian will just grow tired of having to watch over a child constantly when they should be focusing on their rifts. And Roger…..well he’s always gotten the girls’ attentions. Eventually he’ll find there are better more flexible girls that won’t have a child to tie him down.”

“But he’s my daddy! He’d never hurt me and mummy.” Paul grinned and chuckled icily.

“To be honest I don’t even know why he calls himself that. He was never your father to begin with. Your real father abandoned you the moment your mother had found out you were created. Roger’s fooling himself because he’s just like the one who abandoned you.”

Caleb looked down sadly and could feel a lump in his throat and start to feel the tears pooling into his eyes.

“Caleb?” soon coming down the stairs was Roger. The second he saw Paul kneeling down before his son, he got defensive. “What’s going on Prenter!?”

“Oh nothing Roger, just asking the little tike if he had a good birthday.” Then like nothing had happened, Paul ruffled the boy’s head before heading on out for a smoke break. Roger eyed Paul skeptically knowing that something must’ve been up, but he set it aside and knelt down in front of Caleb.

“Your bath’s ready bud, you ready?”

“Can—can mummy bathe me tonight instead?” Caleb asked. Roger was surprised to hear that because bath time was usually their thing (in Caleb’s words, Roger was more fun during bath time when it came to battleship wars)

“Uhh sure. I’m—sure she wouldn’t mind.” Without another word, Caleb raced upstairs. As (y/n) was coming out of the bathroom, she felt something tackle her almost making her lose her balance. She looked down to see her son and she said.

“Caleb, what’s the matter love?” He spoke not a word but she did hear a sniffle and soft sob coming out of him. She knelt down and hugged her son and rubbed her back. At that moment, Roger came up the stairs and just stood there horrified to see his son crying.

(Y/n) shrugged in a ‘I don’t know what’s wrong’ manner but kept hugging and comforting her son.

After bath time thanks to Freddie, Caleb was allowed to sleep in his room while Fred took the couch. (Y/n) tucked her son in and kissed his cheek.

“Goodnight my sweet prince.”

“Night, night mummy.” He said. She stood up and replacing her was Roger.

“Sweet dreams monkey.” He leaned down to kiss Caleb on the opposite cheek but to his surprise, Caleb turned away refusing his daddy’s kiss. Heartbroken but still wanting to show his son some affection, Roger kissed the boy’s temple and patted his arm before standing up.

The two bid the boy goodnight before turning off the light and shut the door. As the two of them prepared for bed Roger asked.

“Did he say why he was so upset?”

“No. Why did something happen downstairs when you went to get him?”

“I mean I saw Paul kneeling in front of him, if he said anything to him I’ll throw him out the bloody window of the recording studio as soon as we get home.”

“You do realize you guys have the 24th floor of that studio right.”

“So?”

“Roger, I love you but I’d rather not date a convicted criminal.”

“Hey I’d become a criminal if it means protecting you and my son.”

“I know you would love. Let’s—just let him sleep and maybe he’ll come around tomorrow.” She kissed his lips and the two of them cuddled together for the night.

However the next morning Caleb shook his mum awake asking her if they could go home. Roger and her asked why he wanted to leave so early when they could’ve stayed a couple of weeks there, but the boy refused to answer. He just clung to his mum and asked if they could go home.

Giving into her son’s request, she packed up the presents and loaded the car up ready to head back to their home in London.

But when the four boys of Queen went to say goodbye to their number one fan, he hid behind his mum’s legs and clung onto her like a koala. He refused to make eye contact with them as he got into the backseat and hid under the window.

“What’s wrong with Caleb?” asked Brian.

“I don’t know.” Answered (y/n) solemnly.

“Roger what did you do?” demanded Freddie.

“Me?! I did—”

“Don’t go blaming him Fred, he wouldn’t talk to us last night. But—maybe I’ll get him to talk once we get home. I’ll let you four know when we get there.”

“Okay, drive safe love. And do you—mind if you check in on Veronica for me?” asked Deacy.

“No problem Deacy. I am you guys mid-wife after all. I’ll check on her and see how she and the future little Deacy duckling is doing.” (y/n) hugged all the boys goodbye before leaving Roger for last.

The two lovers embraced each other and Roger whispered to her.

“Please give my love to him okay?”

“I will Rog I promise. You keep making songs and don’t lock yourself in a cupboard again.”

“No promises love.” She rolled her eyes before kissing Roger softly while cupping his face. They eventually separated as (y/n) got in the driver’s seat and turned on the engine before finally pulling out of the farm and headed back into the city.

It was Christmas time and the boys were prepping for their live Christmas Eve show at the Hammersmith Odeon to help promote the success for “A night at the opera”. (Y/n) was getting ready to head over to the theater because afterwards she and the guys were gonna come to the house for a little Christmas gift exchange.

“Caleb love, are you sure you don’t wanna go see the show live?” (y/n) asked her son. She’s been noticing how lately Caleb hasn’t wanted anything to do with Roger or the guys lately and she was starting to get worried.

“I’m sure mummy. I’ll just watch it on TV.”

“Okay honey, if you’re sure.” He nodded solemnly as he fiddled with his new Star Wars X-wing he got from Deacy as a pre-Christmas gift. After putting on the last of her makeup, the doorbell rang and (y/n) went over to the door and opened it up to reveal her best friend since childhood Dani.

“Hey girl!” she proclaimed in an ‘I’m here’ fashion.

“Hey Dani, thank you so much for babysitting at the last minute.”

“No worries girl, I love that kid to death, he is my godson after all. Where is the little cutie?”

“He’s in the living room playing.” Sensing her best friend’s worry, Dani asked.

“You okay?”

“Honestly I’m worried about Caleb.”

“What’s going on?”

“Ever since his birthday he’s been acting a little strange lately. Anything having to do with Roger or the guys he’s—he’s been ignoring them or not wanting to have anything to do with them.”

“What? Really?” she exclaimed softly in shock. (Y/n) nodded.

“He won’t talk to me about it and I’m getting worried. What if he’s—”

“Hey, hey, hey don’t think about that right now. I’ll try and get him to watch their live broadcast and see if I can get anything out of him. After all when it comes to the really juicy stuff that gets to him, he’s always told me.”

“What exactly has he told you?”

“I’m sworn under oath to never tell mummy.”

“I’ll deal with you later, but right now I better get out of here if I want to get to the Hammersmith on time.” The two women hugged each other and (y/n) went over to hug and kiss her son goodbye before finally heading out to meet with the boys at the Hammersmith Odeon.

At the theater; the boys had gotten fully dressed and were about to start the live broadcast. When they heard a knock at their dressing room, Deacy went up and opened it to reveal (y/n).

“Hello (y/n).” he said.

“Hey Deacy, I just came back to wish you guys good luck.”

“Hello my love.” Roger came up and the two of them kissed. “Where’s Caleb?”

“He—”

“He didn’t come did he.” Roger said more as a statement than a question.

“I’m sorry love.”

“Is…..it something I did?”

“Honestly Rog, I don’t know. He won’t tell me.” He sighed and leaned his forehead against hers.

“You don’t think he hates me, do you?”

“No that can’t be it. He’s always loved you Rog. I wouldn’t worry about it now, you’ve got to focus on the show.”

“I know. But I just wish my little bud was here. It—really hasn’t been the same since his birthday.”

“We’ll figure it out soon my love.” She kissed Roger comfortingly and that’s when the producer came in and said.

“Queen, time to get on stage.” The couple separated from each other but took each other’s hands and the five of them walked towards the stage.

“I’ll be watching from right here cheering you four on.” Said (y/n) with a smile.

“We know you will darling. Hope the little darling is watching from home. I’m dedicating his favorite to him.” Freddie said. After Bob Harris gave the introduction, the boys raced on stage and performed their hearts out.

After the show, the boys and (y/n) arrived back at her place and there they saw Dani holding a sleeping Caleb on her lap. Dani looked and she smiled at the five of them.

“How was he?” whispered (y/n).

“He was an angel as always.”

“Did he watch the concert?” asked Brian. At that question, Dani looked down solemnly.

“I turned it on but he didn’t really pay attention. I tried to get him to talk to me but he wouldn’t tell me what’s going on.”

“You? His most trusted secret keeper?” asked Freddie bewildered.

“Yeah.” She said as she stroked his head softly. (Y/n) knelt down and gently picked her son up.

“Can I take him to bed?” asked Roger. His eyes filled desperate to hold his little boy again. Complying and fearfully thinking this maybe the only time he’d get to hold her son, she handed Caleb over to Roger.

He held him against his shoulder and took him upstairs to his room. Roger set Caleb down and tucked him in, he reached over and tucked the teddy bear the two of them won at the Autumn carnival last year. He stroked the little boy’s cheek with his thumb and whispered.

“I love you buddy. Merry Christmas.” He leaned down and kissed the boy’s forehead before sitting up and left his room. He came back down the stairs and (y/n) said.

“He still asleep?”

“Little guy didn’t even stir. That’s—the first time I’ve ever got to hold him since his birthday.”

“I know Rog.” She cooed as she hugged him and stroked through his long hair.

“Can we place our gifts for Caleb under the tree?” asked Brian. She nodded and the guys placed their Christmas gifts for Caleb under the tree, as well as the gifts they were gonna exchange to each other in the morning.

“I think I’m gonna hit the sack. We can start the gift exchange first thing in the morning.” Deacy said.

“Oh yeah cause you and Veronica are planning to go to her parent’s for dinner aren’t you?” (y/n) said as Deacy nodded. “That sounds good, we won’t keep you long Deacy. In fact I think you all deserve some rest after the show you all performed tonight.”

“You said it darling, 14 songs, four encores. I’m bloody exhausted.” Freddie said as he sighed heavily.

“Yeah. Goodnight you guys.” Said Brian.

“Night.” Soon everyone went to their guest rooms while Roger and (y/n) went into her room. As Roger collapsed onto her bed, she got on her night dress and crawled up towards him and cuddled up into his chest. Roger wrapped his arms around her and he nuzzled into her hair and without another word the two of them fell asleep.

By morning, the sound of little feet pattered towards the master bedroom. Caleb crawled up onto the bed and began shaking the figure underneath.

“Mummy! Mummy wake up wake up it’s Christmas! Wake up lazy mummy! Let’s go see what Santa brought!”

“Geez bud, you never cease using us as a bouncy castle do you.” At hearing the sound of a male voice instead of his mum’s, Caleb got off the figure and out popped out Roger.

“Sorry Roger.” Caleb said lowly as he couldn’t even look him in the eye. Feeling his heart clench that his son still wouldn’t look at him, he said.

“There’s no need to be sorry buds. So shall we see what Father Christmas brought you this year?” he asked trying to lighten the mood.

“Maybe later, excuse me.” He then left the room without saying a word. Roger tried to reach out for him but he knew it was pointless. He sighed solemnly and put on an old t-shirt and grabbed his robe as he went downstairs.

“What was all that racket I heard upstairs?” asked Freddie.

“Caleb woke up thinking I was his mum. But then as soon as he saw it was me he barely spoke to me.”

“Oh Roger darling.” Freddie stood up and placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“He couldn’t even look at me Fred. What did I do to him?”

“I’m sure it’s not something you did intentionally, not like you always do.” At that statement Roger glared at him. “Right not helping. Have some breakfast and maybe head back on up and see what’s going on. Cause more importantly I hadn’t gotten my Caleb hugs from him at all since his birthday and I’ve missed those so much.”

“Glad to see my problem makes you feel more like the victim than I am.” Roger muttered.

“Breakfast is ready!” (y/n)’s voice called out. As the boys of Queen gathered around to make their plates, Brian was setting up the presents so that while they were eating, they could quickly do gifts before Deacy had to leave to meet up with Veronica, their son Robert to head on out to meet her family for Christmas.

“Okay so I’ll be on the right side of the couch, Deacy you’ll be the left since it’s closer to the door, Freddie you’ll have the recliner, and Roger and (y/n) can take the loveseat.” Brian said.

“Sounds good to me.” Deacy stated as he came up towards his seat.

“Caleb come on down for breakfast love before it gets cold!” (y/n) called from the bottom step.

“I’ll be down soon mum!” he called out but she somehow knew that none of them would see him.

“Okay so….who wants to go first?” asked Freddie.

“I’ll go.” Roger said. As he went through each gift which included a new set of drumsticks with his name engraved on them, some new tools to help work on his cars, the latest “The Who” record, and some boat/yacht magazines. It was then he came across the last gift which was just a shoebox with a note that said.

To; Roger and the boys

From; Caleb

“Guys, this is from Caleb. And it’s to all of us.” Freddie, Bri and Deacy all came around him and Brian asked.

“Well what is it?”

“Open it Roger.”

“Alright, alright don’t get your knickers in a twist Fred.” He opened it up but the four of them were shocked to see what was inside.

“Are—are those…..” (y/n) started off.

“It’s all the little trinkets we’ve gotten him from our tours around the world.” Deacy said. The boys looked at each other worriedly as Freddie took out the tiny cat statue he got Caleb in Japan just last year. Deacy pulled out the snow globe of the Eiffel Tower that he got in Paris when he was 3 years old.

Brian took out the small spaceship he bought at a giftshop in Washington D.C. for his 4th birthday, and Roger pulled out the picture he had (y/n) take of them when Roger first bought him his first drumkit. Shaking his head he placed it back and said.

“Okay that’s it.”

“Roger, Roger what are you—” (y/n) tried to stop him but of course when Roger sets his mind to something, there’s no stopping him. When he finally reached Caleb’s room, he walked right on in to see the six year old on his bed twiddling with his thumbs.

“Care to explain this Caleb?” he tried his best to not shout at the boy but his tone couldn’t help but come off as betrayed, angered and heartbroken. “Caleb why are you giving us back all the stuff that we’ve given you throughout the years? In fact why have you been acting like we hate you?! You’ve avoided us for months, you can’t look us in the eye and you seem to not want to have anything to do with us anymore!”

Steadily Roger’s voice got angrier and angrier. But then just before he could blow off his top, he heard the sounds of Caleb sniffling. He looked down to see the little boy trying to hold back his tears but they kept coming out in tiny drops, like a loose pipe dripping water in the sink.

Roger’s anger immediately deflated and all that he was filled with now was regret.

“Oh Caleb, ohh buddy I—I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m so sorry, c’mere.” He picked the boy up and held him close as Caleb finally started letting out all the tears he’s kept in for five months. “Shhhh, shhh. I’m sorry buddy. I’m so sorry. I’m not mad at you, it’s okay, it’s okay shhh.”

“Y-you….can—gonna….leave…..”

“Caleb, pal I can’t understand you right now. You’re too upset to talk, take a few deep breaths with me, okay?” Caleb sniffled but nodded. Roger set him back down on the bed and knelt down in front of the boy.

He took his hands and helped guide him through some deep breathing exercises.

“In for three….one, two, three. Hold. Then out one, two, three, four, five. Good, again pal.” The two of them did the breathing technique together then once Caleb seemed to calm down, Roger softly smiled and tucked away the boy’s bangs away from his face. “You okay now?”

“Mm-hmm.” Caleb nodded softly.

“That’s good.” He gingerly wiped away the access tears that stuck to the boys face and said. “Do you wanna talk? I know something’s been bothering you for a while now. Tell me Caleb what is it?”

“I—I can’t tell you.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because……because…..cause you’ll hate me.” At hearing that, Roger’s heart broke.

“Caleb. You know that I could never, ever hate you. Nothing in this entire world could ever make me do that.”

“But this might.”

“You’ll never know unless you try. Remember when you said you’d never be able to ride a bike? Hmm? Or play the drums? And what did you do?”

“I learned it.”

“Exactly. We never know what will come unless we take the dive and do it. Or talk about it. So come on pal out with it. I’m not a mind reader like Professor X. I can’t look into your head and see what’s been bothering you.” For awhile Caleb remained silent and refused to look Roger in the eye just like before.

But somehow Roger was patient and waited until Caleb finally spoke up.

“Are…..are you…..” he trailed off before looking away.

“Am I what pal?” Roger said as he turned the boy’s head back to him by gently cupping his face.

“Are you gonna forget mummy and me?” Roger was horrified to hear those words come out of him.

“What? No. Absolutely not. What made you get an idea like that?”

“M….Mr. Prenter told me back at the farm that—after this album you, Uncle Freddie, Uncle Bri and Uncle Deacy were gonna be so famous that you’d forget about us. That more girls would come to you and that you would leave mummy for them. And that….you wouldn’t…..want to be my daddy no more when they did.”

Roger was now a field of mixed emotions inside. There was sorrow and heartbreak of Caleb having to think this for over five months, no wonder why he wouldn’t see him or the guys. But there was also rage due to the fact that Paul Prenter, a grown man had the nerve to actually say things like that to a little boy.

“That son of a…..I know I keep saying but this time I mean it. I’ll throw him out the bloody window!”

At hearing the anger in Roger’s voice and seeing his blue eyes turn ice cold and murderous, Caleb whimpered and started trembling in fear.

“Oh no, no, no buddy, buddy it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry I scared you. Come here.” Roger instantly reverted back to his calm state that he always used with Caleb and he immediately hugged the boy close to him.

He rubbed his back in soothing circles and rocked him back and forth trying to comfort him.

“I didn’t mean to scare you bubs, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. I vowed that I would never get angry around you.” He stroked Caleb’s head before planting a kiss on top of his head. “Listen Caleb. Forget everything that Paul said to you.”

“But…..”

“No buts, as your father I forbid you to mention him right now.”

“But he…..Mr. Prenter also said that you weren’t really my daddy. That my real daddy…..never wanted me.” Roger rubbed his son’s back and said.

“First of all Caleb, I want you to stop calling him Mr. Prenter. Mister is something you only use when someone respects you back. And Paul doesn’t deserve your respect.”

“Then what should I call him?”

“Whatever mean name you can come up with.” Caleb thought about it before saying.

“Poo-poo pee-pee!” Roger laughed and said.

“That’s perfect!” he playfully ruffled Caleb’s head messing up his inherited (h/c) from his mum. “Now everything that poo-poo pee-pee said to you, is nothing but lies. I love your mother, and I love you. You both are my whole world, sure there have been women while I was on the road trying to get a hold of me but every time I denied them because I already had my best girl and best bud waiting at home for me. And that they are the loves of my life.”

“But when he—said that you weren’t my real father. Is….is that true?” At that question, Roger knew he had to word it carefully because at this point Caleb was still fragile and if he said that what Paul said about Roger not being his real father was true, the poor boy would have a breakdown and feel like he’s been living a lie.

“I can tell you this Caleb. The man who—was with your mum before me. He lost a great opportunity. And his loss was my gain. Because just like Queen, you and your mum are my family. Just like I hope that I’m a part of yours. Family doesn’t always end in blood, it’s the bond we share with each other. And the love we give each other throughout our lives. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

“Yes daddy.”

“Oh you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to call me that again.” Roger said as he stroked Caleb’s cheek with his thumb and smiled down at him. “Can I get some lion cuddles and kisses?” Caleb nodded and cuddled close into Roger’s chest.

He clung onto his shirt before raising his head to kiss Roger’s cheek. Roger smiled and playfully devoured Caleb in wet kisses making him laugh and try to break free of Roger’s embrace. Roger chuckled and said.

“Now this is what I wanted for Christmas.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Your hugs and kisses are worth more than any presents Father Christmas can give. I’ve been denied this gift for five months so you better pay me back with as many hugs and kisses you can give me. Deal?”

“Deal.” The two men shook on it.

“Now tell me; who do I love most in the whole wide world?”

“Me and mummy!”

“You got that right pal. I love you so much Caleb.”

“I love you too daddy.” He hugged his father and Roger rubbed his back. “I’m—sorry I hurt your feelings daddy.”

“Shhh, don’t think of it anymore. All is forgiven. So long as you take back your gift.”

“I will. Do—Uncle Freddie, Bri and Deacy forgive me?”

“I’m sure they do. Freddie has been going on nonstop of how he’s missed your hugs. Wanna go down and see them?” he nodded and Roger picked him up so that he hung around his waist and the two of them headed downstairs. “Look whose finally decided to come down.”

“Caleb darling!” Freddie exclaimed. Roger set him down and Caleb immediately ran up to his uncle Freddie who picked him up and set him on his lap. “Ohh this is what I’ve waited for.”

“You happy now uncle Freddie?”

“Oh darling I am very happy.” As Roger came up to (y/n) she whispered.

“Everything okay now?”

“Yeah. I’ll tell you once he tires from playing with all his presents.” And with that the five adults watched as Caleb ripped open every single one of his presents and was all oooh and awe.

Roger finally got what he wanted and he was so happy to finally have his little buddy back on his side. Because even though he wasn’t Caleb’s birth father, he still looked at that boy like he was his own son. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 4 years ago

Text

Magnolia

I don’t know much about Magnolia or Paul Thomas Anderson, but I do know that it takes someone paying me to get me to watch a 3-hr+ drama that doesn’t star Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a really big boat. This is one of my mom’s favorite movies which is why she requested it for me to review. It’s packed with a balls-to-the-wall star-studded cast (Tom Cruise! Julianne Moore! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! John C. Reilly! William H. Macy! Felicity Huffman!) and I’m genuinely excited to see how they all fit together. Cause they have to all fit together in some coherent way, right? Well...

Do you remember in Sorry to Bother You when the Equisapiens came out and things just took like...a real turn? That’s kind of what this was like. Whereas StBY pushed a thought to its most extreme, but logical, conclusion, what Paul Thomas Anderson has done here feels like a magician doing a lot of impressive illusions - sawing a lady in half, making a motorcycle disappear, pulling smaller things out of bigger things - and then for his final trick, walking onstage amidst a grand plume of smoke, dropping his pants, taking a gigantic shit, and then saying, “You’ve been a great audience, thanks a lot and goodnight!” It’s not like you can say the experience was BAD. Everything up to the finale was a really great time! But when you’re left on a note that is that bafflingly odd, it kinda colors the way you’ll remember the whole thing.

Magnolia is the story of one long day in the life of 12 people living in Los Angeles who are all connected via an extensive web from acquaintances to married couples to parents and children to paid caregivers and beyond. It’s a day that has the same kind of ups and downs as any other day until it, well, turns into something else entirely. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but if you want to know more, spoilers will be spoiled below.

Some thoughts:

Patton Oswalt cameo! I am a massive fan and thought I knew his whole filmography and OMG how did I not know that he was in this!!

Ok, in spite of my skepticism this entire opening sequence about coincidence had me hooked IMMEDIATELY. Like, this is some damn good storytelling, if this were a novel, I would not be able to put it down - that pull, that’s what it feels like.

Am I the only person whose encyclopedic memory of character actors/roles gets distracted when they see someone from something that is wildly disparate compared to the role you’re currently watching? For example, I had to pause the movie and confirm via IMDB that I did just see Professor Sprout from HP scream “Shut the fuck up!” at her husband while brandishing a shotgun.

Would people really recognize a grown ass man from being a successful child game show contestant? I’ll tell you the answer, no they wouldn’t, because no one realizes that Peter Billingsley (aka Ralphie from A Christmas Story) is the head of the elf production line in Elf.

I knew this was a stacked cast, but holy SHIT this is a stacked cast. If I had $1 for every fantastic character actor I recognize in this, I would have at least $37, and these are people in the film who have maybe 2-3 lines each. It’s a deep bench is what I’m saying.

This makes me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman so, so very much.

Watching PSH care for and be so compassionate and gentle with his hospice patient, Earl (Jason Robards),makes my heart ache terribly. All of the people who have been unable to perform this kindness, this type of compassionate care for their closest loved ones as they lie dying in isolation of Covid...it’s overwhelming.

OMG I’m counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Very Good Dogs in the old man’s house!

I know Scientology is evil and he’s undeniably a complicated and morally grey person. I know all that. But goddamn I just love watching Tom Cruise COMMIT. Particularly when he commits to just absolute fucking sleazebag slimeballs. And boy oh boy is Frank Mackey an absolute fucking sleazebag slimeball.

Related - I know Frank looks like Tom Cruise, so he could get people to sleep with him no matter what, but I honestly feel like as a human being, this flesh suit is WAY more attractive balding and fat in Tropic Thunder than he is in this shiny brown shirt/leather vest/long hair combo.

I’m getting an uncomfortable vibe about these black characters being written by an artsy white dude, because I don’t know any young black kids who want to hang around with cops and offer up information about who committed a murder in their building. In fact, the way all of the black characters are treated in this film - as liars, criminals, the disingenuous “main stream media,” and thieves - feels rooted in some racist ass bullshit. We see a lot of nuance in our white characters, but even in a film that has, shockingly, more than one key black role, we don’t get that spectrum or nuance.

There is nothing I would love more than to learn that Frank Mackey is 1) gay 2) impotent or 3) both. He’s so disgustingly over-the-top misogynistic, it honestly feels like it should all be a complete act.

I confess I am on the edge of my seat trying to figure out how all these narrative threads tie together. It’s compelling as hell, even though half the time I don’t know why these people are having these long, meandering conversations. The pacing feels so deliberate, like a puzzle coming together. There’s real craftsmanship in how every scene is plotted to feel connected rather than manic or disjointed.

This pharmacist is being unprofessional as hell. Judgy McJudgerson, mind your fucking business, Julianne Moore’s father is dying! [ETA: ope, that’s embarrassing, Earl is actually her husband.]

NO THE DOG IS EATING THE PILLS OH NO VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG.

I think I knew this, but this soundtrack is fantastic. All Aimee Mann and Supertramp, and Jon Brion’s score is this thrumming, anxious thing full of strings that underscore all these nervous conversations, and then it shifts into these low, mournful horns when things start to take a turn and everyone is reaching their lowest points.

I love this interviewer (April Grace) who is taking Frank (Tom Cruise) to task. I think it’s particularly noteworthy that she is a black woman, because the kind of misogyny Frank peddles is rooted in white supremacy.

Stanley (Jeremy Blackman) is breaking my goddamn heart here. I think he and Phil (PSH) are my favorite characters.

Jim (John C Reilly) is the perfect example of how even a cop with the best intentions, with absolute kindness and love is in heart, is abusing his power and sexually harassing a woman he encountered in the line of duty, who is eager to appease him because she doesn’t want to be charged with a crime. This movie reads a LOT differently than it did in 1999.

I normally really love Julianne Moore, but she is a screeching mess in this. I can’t stop staring at her mouth and all the contortions it makes as she delivers every line in hysterics. She’s one of the few weak spots for me here.

Listening to Frank go on his whole diatribe about what society does to little boys to break them and victimize them HAS to be the source of where Keith Raniere got at least half of his NXIVM bullshit. Like, some of these points are word-for-word.

Also if Frank makes as much money as he seems to, there’s no way he would drive a shitty Saturn sedan.

It feels like the common thread of this movie is everyone is terrible and cheats on their spouses, and you should come clean when you get cancer so you can die peacefully. Weird moral, but ok.

If Jim is a cop, how does he not see that this woman he’s interested in (Melora Walters) is coked out of her mind?

Y’know for being a quiz kid, Donnie (William H. Macy) sure is kinda stupid.

I confess I’m not taking many notes throughout this because I’m just kind of sitting breathlessly still watching all these conversations unfold because I am on the edge of my fucking seat to find out how all this is gonna come together.

Secret MVP of this movie is the mom from A Christmas Story (Melinda Dillon) who is giving the performance of her goddamn life as Jimmy Gator’s wife.

Did I Cry? On the surface it appears ridiculous, but when Tom Cruise is having his breakdown at his dying father’s bedside, I admit, that really got me. If you’ve ever been faced with that kind of hysterical, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening, it feels like the whole world is ending kind of shock and hurt and anger, that’s what the crying looks like.

Are those......frogs?? That landed on Jim’s car? It’s raining fucking frogs???? OK for those of you sensitive to frog harm, this movie is going to take a real hard left turn for you, because I swear that came out of NOWHERE.

Um.

What.

Pray tell.

The fuck.

The climax of this movie - is when literal frogs rain from the sky.

And we finally got resolution about the dog, and the dog DID die, and I’m pissed about it. It’s offscreen but still.

I'm sorry - I know I’m fixating. But how is it possible that I knew about all the characters performing a sing-along to Aimee Mann’s (excellent) song “Wise Up” but I did NOT know that the climax of the film involves literally thousands of frogs falling to their death from the sky? How is that something that escapes entry into the cultural zeitgeist? I’m with it, you guys. I have been Very Online for over a decade, and before that, I read a lot of Entertainment Weekly, and like it just seems that this is something that pop culture really should have told me.

I think the funniest moment of this movie might be the credits in which I discovered that not only is Luis Guzman playing a man named Luis, he’s actually playing himself. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about it. That was a 189-minute setup to one dumb punchline.

I think I loved this movie but I don’t quite know. The frog thing really threw me. What I’m taking away from it is that even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it, we are all connected to each other, always, in ways we can’t see or know. As Wife astutely pointed out, it’s reminiscent of the pandemic - we’re all in the same storm, but we each have our own boats and our own experiences within that storm. And it’s kind of nice to remember that right now, that connection still exists even when it feels so far away. Just not if you’re a frog I guess, cause they really got the short end of the stick here.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #magnolia #magnolia review #paul thomas anderson #tom cruise #julianne moore #phillip seymour hoffman #John C Reilly #william h macy #movie reviews #film reviews #patreon review

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ilistenedin · 4 years ago

Text

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

Friend, Bianca

2 - When is your birthday?

June 27

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

No one

4 - What sports do you play?

Marching band, if you consider it a sport

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

Ana

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

Telepatia by Kali Uchis and Moon Song by Phoebe Bridgers

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

No one lol

8 - What do you feel right now?

Sad

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

Crunch bars

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

2 boyfriends, 3 girlfriends

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

My friend told me to

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

Don’t have one

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

Honestly, dead lol

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

I have no idea

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

Last night. Snapchat memories.

16 - Are you happy?

17 - Who do you miss?

A few people

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

Yes

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

Love

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

Maria

21 - What is your favorite dish?

Taiwanese spicy hot pot

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

I have a few.

23 - What is your biggest regret?

I have a few.

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

Yes

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

Myself

26 - Name someone pretty.

All of my friends

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

Maria probably

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

All types

29 - Are you over your past?

Nope

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

A number I saved from a “for rent” sign when I was looking to move a few years ago

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

No one

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

Yes

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

My sister

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

Jeans

35 - How’s your heart?

Healthy last time I went to the doctor

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

Nope

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

I go back and forth on it

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

Nothing.

39 - Do you have any phobias?

Yes; roaches

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

Yes

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

I think I’m a decent gift giver. So lots of things.

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

That would never happen

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

Bad

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

My sister

45 - Describe your dream date.

Dinner, movie, parking car and talking.

46 - Describe your dream wedding.

I don’t have one

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

None lol

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

Yes

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

Little over three years

50 - Do you regret your past?

Yes

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

Yes

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

Yes

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

54 - Are you a crybaby?

Yes

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

No lol

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

Yes

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

It’s a self fulfilling prophecy so like, probably

59 - Does anyone hate you?

Idk, probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

On myself, any color. On a potential partner? Any color honestly. But I do like brunettes.

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

Everything

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

I love plenty of people

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

Lol

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

I don’t go to school

66 - Can you live without internet?

Probably not

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

I don’t have a special someone.

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

No lol

69 - Are you a crybaby?

Yes

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

Yes

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

Not an avid one

72 - Do you study hard?

I didn’t when I was a student

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

Yes

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

Yes

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

Yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

I mean. It was an intentional accident?

77 - What kind of person are you?

A shitty one

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

Nope

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

Yes

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

Words of affirmation and quality time

81 - What are you thinking right now?

Not great things

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

Tony; some dude I marched with

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

Oh yeah

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

Yes

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

Yes

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

Yes

87 - Do you have trust issues?

Yes

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

Yes

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

My cat Artemis

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

Yes

92 - Who do you want to marry?

No one

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

Kinda

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

Lol yes

95 - How do you look right now?

Like shit

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

97 - Have you found your true love?

Idk

98 - What should you be doing right now?

Sleeping

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

Geo

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

All the time

#memhm

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dreamsofaparadox · 4 years ago

Text

Hey so I’m just gonna put this all out here. I enjoy talking to you on occasion, but I don’t like the person you’ve become or your friends. I think it’s rather rude of you to pretend you hate me and talk shit about my family and I when all we’ve ever done is be beyond kind to you and help you in any way. For your “friends” or stupid fuck buddies to drive by my house and scream obscenities is not only childish but rude as hell for you to let them act that way. The fact they’ve snap chatted me as well in the past to go out of there way to try and make me jealous is immature, and frankly it doesn’t do much besides disappoint me further at who you’ve become and the decisions you’ve made. Rationalize them however you need, but deep down you know everything I’m talking about. If you were truly happy and having as much fun as you try to prove to me, you wouldn’t have to prove it. You wouldn’t keep coming to my house, you wouldn’t say the things you have since we broken up, and you definitely wouldn’t still be fucking me when it’s convenient for you. So josh I will tell you what I’ve told you a million times over the 4 years. I think you have unlimited potential to be the most successful happy person in the world, but you need to change your life because who you are and have been for 3.5 years is not a good person. You were never honest with me, constantly cheated on me and put me down to make yourself feel better. You talked shit about me to everyone and all I ever did was be there for you despite everything, I did everything to make you happy and I can’t think of 5 things you did for me to make me feel the same way in the slightest. So the reason I am writing this is if you want to talk to me that’s fine. I care about you and will always be here if you need me, but I am annoyed with you trying to make me jealous with your hoe friends. I am over you pretending like the world hates you when everything that has happened is a direct result of your actions, from me to your parents and siblings. You are impulsive and angry and trying to prove things to everyone and get validation from them, there’s nothing wrong with that but it’s generally unhealthy. I am over you using me and lying to me and about me. You didn’t treat me well while we were together and not much has changed since we broke up. I know you don’t see an issue with how you act but I hope that someday you do. More so is I hope you’re still reading this because you get bored easily. Now I need to emphasize that I do not hate you by any means, I am just over you being petty and being a dick to me. I know this whole thing won’t make a difference and you will probably tell everyone and mock me because that’s what always happens, and that’s ok, but I don’t forgive you for it. I don’t forgive you for raye, Morgan, jessika, Elyssia, gabby, Tyler, Ashley, and there’s a few others I’m forgetting. It still hurts and I should’ve broken up with you 2 months in and not strung it out trying to fix it for years when you didn’t care. You never even had the decency to tell me why. That’s on me and it’s my fault for letting you think it was ok, but I can’t keep it up. You fucked me up and you say you’re sorry but sorry doesn’t fix what you did, and the things you said to me and I want you to know that so you don’t ever make anyone else feel how you made me feel, because you broke your promises over and over. The next girl she deserves better and you need to be better because to ever put someone through that is the most fucked up thing.

Despite all that I am still here and care, because I see the good you can be, the good you could do, but if you don’t change soon I think you’re going to ruin your whole life or try to change too little too late. So here is my conclusion if you need help and someone to talk to NICELY, if you need advice, if you need a hug that’s fine. If you want just a booty call that’s fine, but I’m done enabling you and if you keep acting how you have been all these years I will stop talking to you. I don’t want to, but I will if I have to, because being alone is better than continuing to suffer to make you happy. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in anyway but here it all is. I hope we last. I hope we do on some level. But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me: I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you. Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too. If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending. Remember the beginning. That is all, night.

Texts I’ll never send. 2:39am 8/6/20 j

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invisibletinkerer · 5 years ago

Text

Fic: The Secret Journal of 'Stanford' Pines

Size: ~3000 words AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864183

Stan Pines keeps a journal of brief daily notes during the summer of 2012.

Note: We all know that the Gravity Falls timeline makes no sense whatsoever. Therefore this is based on a headcanon timeline I made a year or so ago, trying to incorporate as many of the canon dates (in show and published J3) as possible, but ignoring the ones that were contradictory or made no sense. This still means some episodes did not happen in a strictly chronological order.

June 1

Kids are here. I have no idea what to do. Why did I agree to this.

Boy is a grump and girl made macaroni art in the kitchen. Did I even have macaroni?

June 2 Sunday

I think boy got spooked in the forest. He seems fine, though. Good taste in gold chains.

Girl is now dating some punk kid.

June 3

Kids looked like they’d been run over by the golf cart when they got back tonight. Not good.

Gave them some free gifts from the shop to cheer em up. Yes I know

Boy got a new hat. Should get him to wear a Mystery Shack shirt next. Girl found a grappling hook that was not in my inventory. Bold choice.

What would they say if they knew about me?

June 4

Fishing Season Opening Day – took the kids fishing.

Of course, they got excited about monster hunting instead. They’re listening to reason about as well as I and Fo did as a kid.

But. They came back to me in the end. We had fun.

I love those kids.

June 5

Soos found those cursed old wax statues I sealed up some ten years ago. Don’t seem all that cursed now. One had melted.

Mabel’s gonna make a new one for the wax museum. Meaning I’ll have to figure out how to make suckers pay to look at wax statues again.

June 6

Mabel’s wax creation nearly gave me a heart attack. It looks just like my twin me.

She’s crazy talented.

June 7

I’d say the wax museum reopening went well. Assuming “well” means “profit”.

Did anyone actually think I’d hand out free pizza?

June 8

Hanging out with my wax twin Stan, and the moment I turned my back he was murdered.

June 9 Sunday

Tried to hold a funeral for Wax Stan. Failed to keep it tounge-in-cheek.

Face it, Ford is long gone

June 10

Guess the wax people were still as cursed as I remembered. Kids killed them with fire – I should have done that long ago.

Dipper crawled in the vents all day looking for a wax head that got away.

If I keep telling him he’s delusional, he’s got to stop looking for trouble eventually, right?

June 11

Mabel decided I should date Lazy Susan. Couldn’t stop her. Now Susan and her cats keep calling me.

This was a bad idea. (I will never tell Mabel that.)

June 12

Went on a date with Lazy Susan to shut her up. That ended just as well as expected.

Need to figure out some more specific excuses.

June 13

The worst thing is, the Portal should work now. It’s functional. I just can’t get it to start.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along

I did fix that old copier. Don’t know if it still makes copies of people, but at least it makes copies of paper again.

Caught Dipper making oogly eyes at Wendy. I smell drama.

June 14

Did not expect “The Duchess Approves” to be that good.

June 15

The traditional Mystery Shack party that has nothing to do with any birthdays.

Mabel is a great singer, and that Northwest brat cheated.

Happy birthday, Sixer.

June 16 Sunday

Gideon Gleeful’s running TV ads again.

Of course my family goes to his show just to spite me.

June 17

Mabel played with Gideon today. Did not see that one coming.

As long as she’s happy, I guess.

June 18

I hate Pioneer Day.

Stupid people acting even stupider than normal, nothing works, then someone (me) ends up in the stocks.

June 19

Gideon and Mabel are dating!?

Seemed like a horrible idea, but Bud Gleeful has a point on the moneymaking opportunities if we play it right.

June 20

So if Mabel marries Gideon, his business will be incorporated into mine. I sure like the sound of that.

Bud is already making t-shirts.

June 21

June 22

OK, no. No deals with the Gleefuls. Not now or ever.

Mabel broke up with the little pest. Good riddance.

Got me a nice painting from Bud’s house, though.

June 23 Sunday

The Mystery Fair! It may look cheap, but it brings in the money.

Though someone broke all safety protocols and brought a futuristic laser gun to Dunkle the Grunkle. That’s unfair.

Mabel has a pig now.

June 24

Got roped into the gaming arcade with the kids.

Maybe get one of those games for the Shack?

June 25

Mabel decided to fix my fear of heights.

I can say this – being on top of a water tower about to fall over was unpleasant. Compared to that, a high but stable ground isn’t so bad.

Dipper got into a fistfight with Wendy’s boyfriend over teenage drama, but good on him for standing up for himself.

June 26

For some reason Gideon has gotten it into himself that he wants the Mystery Shack now.

Good luck, kid. I’m a better conman than you’ll ever be.

June 27

Mabel is slightly taller than Dipper. This is funny.

Gideon Gleeful trying to be threatening while throwing a hysterical fit after breaking my new mirror maze – mostly confusing. Wish I knew what went on in that kid’s head.

June 28

Kids made me wear the golden teeth. Guess they think I’m a dishonest man.

Fortunately, I’m good at bullshitting even when telling the truth. Think I scandalized the poor things. Hilarious.

Could have been disaster, though. Could have easily made them hate me.

June 29

Spent half the day falling down the Bottomless Pit.

June 30 Sunday

Summerween, now that’s a respectable local holiday.

Scaring children for fun and profit. Celebrating true evil together with family.

July 1

Hottest day of the year. Wax Stan was permanently murdered by the weather.

Closed the Shack and went to the municipal pool with the kids.

Gideon stole my perfect pool chair. It’s on.

July 2

Broke into the pool area at night to get the chair to myself. Which was a good plan, until I wanted to get up later in the day. The pest had coated it with glue.

The kids broke into the pool at night, too. Didn’t ask.

July 3

Opened the Shack again.

Can’t be too lazy. Tourists to fleece and all that.

July 4

July 5

Mabel bet she could run the Shack better than I can. Well. I’m nothing if not a gambler.

So, three days of vacation, in which I will make more money than she will make running the Shack. Winner takes the Shack, loser sings a silly song.

Best case scenario, she learns something about business and stops complaining. Worst case, she actually makes money and then runs the Shack for me the rest of the summer. Not bad.

July 6

Made it past the line to be a contestant on Cash Wheel, using my Old Man powers and lack of common decency.

Why is it so hard to sleep

July 7 Sunday

Well. I lost at Cash Wheel.

Guess that means I lost the bet with Mabel, too. Unless I go rob a bank or something in the time I have left. Hm.

July 8

Turns out Mabel barely broke even when running the Shack. She did win the bet, but she didn’t want my job, no surprise there.

I’m proud of her for learning something.

She still made me sing that song. On video tape. It’s kinda catchy.

July 9

Mabel’s friends came for a sleepover. They make a lot of noice.

July 10

Soos managed to uncover the door to Ford’s that old study I sealed thirty years ago the very moment the kids demanded separate bedrooms.

I never wanted to see that room again. His glasses were still there

Guess they didn’t want the room in the end, but now it’s open. Can’t re-seal it.

I think they messed around with the freaky carpet. Took it away at the end of the day just in case.

July 11

I fucked up, but I fixed it.

I got Mabel’s pig back, even when I had to punch a pterodactyl in the face for it.

She doesn’t hate me.

I love that kid so much.

July 12

That weird egg I pocketed from the dino-cave hatched. Dipper says it’s a compo-whatnot.

I call him Compy. He’s now my Mystery Pet.

July 13

Soos’ birthday. The kids tried to throw a party, which is. Bad idea.

Think he appreciated laser tag, though. And the magic pizza they got him. Never seen him so happy on a birthday.

July 14 Sunday

Turns out Compy is a very tiny dragon. Hoards stuff, mostly cash. In places I can’t reach.

It’s no good. Gonna hand the chicken-lizard over to farmer Sprott first thing in the morning before he bankrupts me.

July 15

Mabel and her friends went to some boy band concert. Got back late with a large pack of spoils. Probably robbed someone.

Wendy’s boyfriend is charming her with homemade music. Dipper suspects magic. Can’t rule that out.

July 16

There was a hypnotic message in the music, but telling Wendy about it only made the teenage drama worse.

Went bowling with Dipper afterwards to cheer him up. Should have a chat with Wendy, too.

July 17

Gideon I’m How could

Didn’t know Gideon was that serious.

As if half-lucid dreams about that yellow triangle wasn’t bad enough. (The kids know something. Not asking. I want them to stay away from that stuff.)

We’re staying with Soos as I panic figure out how to fix this.

July 18

I can’t fix this.

Gideon’s got the whole town eating out of his hand and I’m just a grouchy old man.

Doing the responsible thing. Got bus tickets to send the kids home tomorrow.

Whatever I do next, don’t want them to watch.

July 19

GIDEON IS A LITTLE SHIT AND I AM AWESOME.

Figured out his trick, proved it in public and now he’s in jail.

Got the Shack back. Got the kids back.

And. Get this. Gideon had one of Ford’s missing journals. I have it now.

July 20

I can’t believe it. Dipper. Had the third journal all summer.

All three of the dumb books are right here in front of me.

I activated the Portal. Simple as anything.

It’s scanning for Ford right now.

I’m actually bringing him back.

July 21 Sunday

Grand reopening of the Mystery Shack turned into a zombie-fest.

Kids could’ve died because I was too busy with the Portal to pay attention. That won’t happen again.

Should have talked to them about weirdness sooner. Hope they believed me when I said I have no more secrets.

A little worried that government might have picked up signals from the Portal.

July 22

Repairing the Shack. Too much undead slime to attract tourists like this.

July 23

Re-reopened the Shack.

Dipper got himself an old laptop computer from somewhere. Probably stolen. He tried to hide it.

July 24

Went minigolfing with the kids.

Mabel challenged Pacifica Northwest to a duel at midnight. I’m so proud of her.

Letting kids into minigolf courts at night to take a rich snob down a few pegs – finally putting my skills to good use.

July 25

I still can’t believe the Portal works.

It keeps scanning.

July 26

Tried to bring old Goldie back to the gift shop but apparently he’s unhip and scary. Had to throw him away before the parents sued me.

What I do need is a singing animatronic robot badger. That’s what kids like these days.

July 27

Soos missed work for the first time ever. Seems to be girl trouble, but the kids are handling it.

Would’ve stolen myself a robot badger if it hadn’t tried to kill me. Saved by old Goldie. No way I’m not keeping him now.

July 28 Sunday

Went for a Vegas vacation because I deserve it.

Not because I’m nervous.

Brought Goldie, might have gotten slightly drunk. And slightly married.

July 29

Mabel found herself a new obsession with hand puppets.

She’ll throw a big show on Friday. Made me rent Gravity Falls theatre for her. (Can’t believe I did that.)

July 30

The Shack is full of sock puppets and kids and Mabel keeps singing.

Guess this is my life now.

July 31

August 1

Soos went to his cousin’s wedding with his new girlfriend. Good on him.

Mabel’s still obsessing about puppets.

Dipper looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Can’t blame him with all this ruckus.

August 2

Play was good! Think it paid for the costs, too. Mabel’s got showmanship.

Don’t get the ending, though.

I mean. Children fighting always makes for good footage, but was it necessary to beat Dipper up that bad? I swear Mabel don’t know how strong she is.

A little worried about Dipper. He seemed high as a kite all day. Probably sleep deprivation. At least he’s sleeping now.

August 3

August 4 Sunday

Gravity’s going more crazy around the Portal the longer it’s on, but I don’t care.

It hasn’t found Ford yet.

It won’t find him if he’s dead

August 5

The Portal ate my notebook.

Got a nasty cut on the back of my hand from some debris, too. Could have been worse.

August 6

Tried to advertise the Mystery Shack for the kids at the Woodstick Festival. Hilarious disaster.

Being feared is worth more than being loved anyway.

August 7

August 8

IT FOUND HIM.

He’s alive. There’s a lock on his position.

Fuck I don’t I have to

I know how it works. It needs to calibrate for a while. It needs to be fueled for the big moment.

I’ll go rob a government facility right now.

(So glad the kids are off at the Northwest party tonight.)

27 hours and then I’ll see him again.

August 9

Ford is back.

I had to run from the feds and the kids found out everything the wrong way but it worked and he’s back.

But he doesn’t He still hates me.

Why would I expect anything else.

Don’t know what I’d do with myself if the kids weren’t here.

It’s fine. I fucked up everything, but. Mabel trusts me. Dipper forgives me. I’m fine.

not crying

August 10 Sunday

The Shack needs repairs again.

Spent most of the day making Duck-tective finale preparations with Mabel. We had fun.

Told the kids to stay away from Ford.

August 11

Dipper has predictably decided to be nerd friends with my brother.

Can’t stop him. He looks happy. Both of them do.

Still can’t figure out why Ford would have reality altering dice lying around in his sci-fi pouch.

Anyway. I knew Duck-tective had an evil twin.

August 12

I hate everything.

Ford will take my his place here soon enough, does he have to undercut me while I’m still here?

I’m running for mayor now.

August 13

Kids are helping me with a political campaign. Apparently I know nothing about politics and have unpalatable opinions. Bah.

August 14

The Stump Speech went great! I relax, words happen, people cheer.

Dipper got a lucky tie for me. Think it really works.

August 15

Should’ve tried being a politician before. Almost feels like people like me.

August 16

Nope. Politics is not for me. Too much mind control.

Should’ve known it wasn’t me making those speeches.

(The kids shouldn’t get into politics either. Can’t always be there to save them from murder.)

Turns out I’m not mayor material, but I’m a HERO.

Take that, Ford.

August 17

Rented an RV and took Soos and the kids and Mabel’s friends on a road trip.

Pranking the tourist traps. Good old Mystery Shack tradition for the last time.

Dipper’s practising flirting like a pro.

August 18 Sunday

Almost got eaten by a spider-woman. That could have gone better.

Have to admit, the kids are heroes too.

Don’t think Ford noticed we were gone.

August 19

Opened the Mystery Shack for the final stretch.

Two more weeks, then I’m gone for good.

August 20

Made a good deal on illegal pugs. Still got it.

Ford and Dipper put some magic mojo on the Shack. Not gonna ask.

Might have something to do with how badly Ford is sleeping.

August 21

Ten days left until the kids’s birthday and the end of summer.

Guess I’m doing a countdown now.

August 22

Nine days left.

August 23

Eight days left.

I’m gonna order a ponytail kit.

August 24

HELL NO I DON’T NEED THIS.

It’s the literal end of the world and the kids are missing.

Suddenly orange skies, goats turning into monsters, the whole shebang. I thought I had enough troubles.

That magic on the Shack seems to be protecting it, but. THE KIDS ARE MISSING. So is Ford.

??? 1

Day and night are replaced by eternal glowing orange and every single clock is busted, so no more dates.

Went out looking for the kids, but all I find is other people. Also demons. No sign of Soos or Wendy, either.

Been taking people to the Shack. Safest place on Earth for all I know. I have enough brown meat and elected myself Chief.

The kids are fine. Probably with Ford. That’s the ticket.

??? 2

Went out looking again. Found the Northwest girl dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She was crying and I don’t want to know, but she didn’t deserve it.

Been told the head honcho is the yellow triangle. He calls this Weirdmageddon.

Old McGucket showed up more coherent than usual, herding a whole flock of forest creatures into the Shack. Starting to get crowded here.

The kids are fine. Of course they are.

??? 3

There’s still people alive out there. I heard cars over at Gleeful’s place.

Didn’t see anyone else.

I’ve lost I couldn’t even

Mabel and Dipper are definitely still alive. So is Soos and Wendy. And Ford better be.

??? 4

They’re alive!

All four of my kids, bursting through the door like cops doing a raid but they’re alive!

Now all I want is for them to stay here and be safe. Why can’t they see that?

I’m done saving my brother’s skin and getting nothing but scorn for it.

Ford made his own bed with that demon. Forget it.

??? 5

Did I mention, the plan concocted by five kids, Soos, and a known madman is utterly insane?

They’re rebuilding the Shack. I just had it repaired, too.

It’s my house, but no one’s listening to me.

??? 6

I keep having this bad feeling about Ford.

It’s dumb. My brother has made it perfectly clear how he feels about being saved.

??? 7

Well then.

Not letting the kids lead an apocalypse rebellion against a demonic triangle without me.

August 25 Sunday

August 26

August 27

August 28

Huh. I can’t remember writing this, but it does ring a few bells.

It’s like I

I need to talk to Ford.

August 29

So. The apocalypse is over, and we’re all fine.

We killed the demon by burning my mind out when he was inside, pretty much.

My mind’s still there, but it’s kinda. Well. In need of repair.

Spent a few days reliving good memories.

Turns out there’s more than a few bad ones, too. But.

Everyone is so good to me

I don’t deserve this

August 30

I remember how Ford looked at me after I brought him back.

Now he acts like he likes to he thinks I’m

Now it’s like he’s my brother again.

He said. “Thank you.”

August 31

The kids have left. I’ll miss them, but I’ll see them again.

Until then, my brother and I are going sailing.

#gravity falls #fanfic #stanley pines #i still have feels about this old conman #it writes #unconventional writing

112 notes · View notes

crazy-little-cool-cat · 5 years ago

Text

Hand in Glove - Chapter 28 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: We’re getting closer and closer to the end here. The anxiety is strong. The creative juices are flowing. The hangover is mild but still real.

Warnings: Implied smut, and the usual.

Word Count: ~3.4K (disappointing, I wanted it to be longer)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22 , Chapter 23 , Chapter 24, Chapter 25 , Chapter 26, Chapter 27

“Bloody bureaucrats!” Annie barked, walking into Jamie’s trailer as he finished up his breakfast on Tuesday morning. “I hate everything!”

“What happened?”

“The amount of documents and appointments we need to hand out and set is just unreal!” Annie started ranting. “Also, guess what? Doesn’t matter if I don’t want a big wedding - we still have to exchange vows and -”

“Annie -”

“We need two witnesses.” Annie mumbled.

At that, Jamie smiled his best shit-eating grin and puffed his chest out. “Well?”

“What?” Annie avoided eye contact.

“Ask nicely.” Jamie’s smugness made Annie shudder. “Go on.”

“Will you be a witness at my wedding?” Annie looked down at the floor. “Please?”

“Try again. With more passion this time.”

“You know what? Fuck off.” Annie said and started to turn. She stopped when she realised that other than Jamie, she had no one else to ask. “Jamie, will you please be a witness at my wedding ceremony?”

“God, I love seeing you squirm.” Jamie chuckled. “Yes. Of course.”

“Motherfu -”

“Would you look at the time! I’m late for hair and makeup!” Jamie patted Annie’s back and left.

###

“We should ask Rami to do it.” Ben said, slightly out of breath.

“We most definitely should not.” Annie moved the phone from her right ear to the left, tucking it between her shoulder and her ear so she could start washing the dishes. “He’ll tell Lucy, she’ll tell Joe…”

“Gwil, maybe?” Ben suggested.

“Nope.”

“We’re kind of running out of options here.” Ben started to get frustrated with Annie’s stubbornness.

“Andy, maybe?” Annie suggested. “You’ve been friends since you were, what, two years old? I’m sure he’d love to be at your wedding.”

“He’ll snitch and tell my mum and dad, and they will tell everyone. Literally.” Ben sighed. “We’ll find someone. Don’t worry.”

“We need to have their names ready when we give notice.” Annie almost whined.

“Don’t worry. I’ll finish up here, come back, and we’ll find someone and give notice.” Ben said, suddenly rushing. “Annie, I’m late for something. We’ll talk later, alright?”

“Yeah.” Annie sounded a bit off. “Sure.”

“Annie, I love you and we’re going to do this even if we have to pay people to pretend to know us so they could act as witnesses.” Ben paused. “We’ll find someone. I promise.”

“I love you, too.”

###

Shooting for season three was the hardest work Annie had ever done. Not only were her personal life in constant whirlwinds, her character’s life was just as chaotic. After failing to produce a male heir for the king and losing her grasp on him - it was time for Anne Boleyn to meet her new lady in waiting and the king’s new crush, Jane Seymour.

Annie was quarantined on set for the entire day along with Mike and Clara to keep her company. There was no structured script for the meeting - Annie just needed to channel her inner Anne and react. Then, finally, it was time.

Annie sat at a cards table with Clara and Mike. They were playing Go-Fish for hours on end now as they waited. The director’s assistant showed up and started briefing them about camera locations and lighting directions. All Annie wanted to do was get this over with so Anne Boleyn could start falling from grace and lose her head.

While everyone fiddled about on set, the three Boleyn siblings felt like they were a bit stir-crazy. Annie started to dance a little jig, while Clara hooted ‘yee-haw!’ and Mike pretended not to have any association with the two lunatics.

“Places!” the director called and Annie and Clara both heaved a sigh of relief. Finally. One take. Just this one take and the day is done.

“Roll film!” the director called and put on his headset. “Action!”

The three siblings chatted idly when the door to Anne’s apartments flew open.

“The lady Jane Seymour!” the herald called out. Anne’s entourage parted and created a hallway for Jane to walk through. A plump blonde young lady walked over to where Anne was standing, her eyes locked on the carpets under her. She curtsied deeply.

Anne looked down in disdain at the newcomer and scoffed. George, her brother, sneered at the timid creature at his sister’s feet. Mary seemed preoccupied with her own dress.

“Your majesty.” Jane squeaked out, eyes cast down.

Anne side-eyed her brother with a smug smirk on her face and gestured at the girl to rise.

“Welcome to court.” Anne greeted her dryly, a snarl curling up her upper lip. “Milksop.”

“His majesty the king!” the herald announced and the entire room bowed down. All except for Anne.

“Ah!” King Henry waltzed in and stood between his queen and her new lady, his eyes fixed on the blonde. “I see you’ve met your new lady in waiting.”

“Cut!”

The cast members exchanged knowing looks. This scene marked the beginning of the end. Annie felt tears pricking at her eyes and blinked quickly, holding them back.

###

“What in the bloody hell?!” Annie barged into Jamie’s trailer, yet again, after she changed out of her costume. “What kind of fuckery is this, James?!”

Jamie tilted his head curiously.

“Sources close to the two castmates say that the ice-cold silent treatment has finally been broken. They reported the two Greensleeves stars are sharing meals, spending time together off-set and looking very snuggly on location?!” Annie roared as she read from the article on her phone. “I know this is your doing.”

“You know me so well.” Jamie shrugged.

“What on earth is wrong with you?!” Annie shrieked.

“Unbunch your knickers, Annie.” Jamie said, his jaw clenched. “Or if you can yell louder, that would be best. That means I won’t be the one to leak our lover’s tiff.”

“Fuck off!” Annie hissed. “Do you even know the colossal clusterfuck you’re about to unleash with Ben’s mates?!”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Annie repeated.

“Yes.”

“What the fuck, Jamie?!”

“You wanted to distract the world from what’s really going on, right?” Jamie asked, his voice calm and rational. “Stirring the pot is the perfect way to do that.”

“Does Ben know of this?”

“Sent him the link myself.” Jamie shrugged. “He sent me an audio note of himself, laughing hysterically.” Jamie smiled. “We’re all good.”

###

“She’s not bad looking.” Mike mused the next morning as he and Annie walked to set together after getting into costume and getting their hair and make-up done. “She’s just… plain.”

“See? Milksop.” Annie smiled proudly. “Best insult I could come up with, on the spot.”

“My God, woman,” Mike snickered, “you’re actually turning into Anne Boleyn.”

“Just calling it like it is.” Annie shrugged. “I’m sure Milksop won’t mind her nickname.”

“You’re evil.” Mike chuckled.

“Well, well!” Jamie rounded the corner and joined them. “If it isn’t my soon-to-be-headless wife and her incestuous brother!”

“Jamie, it’s too early for that.” Mike groaned.

“Mind if I steal her away for a bit?” Jamie asked with a wink.

“I… sure?” Mike frowned as Jamie took Annie’s hand and led her away with him.

###

“We should call Ben.” Joe was determined. “It doesn’t matter what the time is, he’s our friend and he needs us.”

“You’re overreacting, mate.” Gwilym yawned and sipped his coffee. “It’s probably just some bullshit article. He and Annie are just fine.”

“How would you know?” Joe asked.

“I asked her.”

Joe blinked at Gwilym, his face blank of any expression.

“What are you giving me the stink-eye for?” Gwilym rolled his eyes.

“She’s cheating on him. Why would she tell you, one of his best friends, that she’s doing it?!” Joe’s hands waved about as he spoke. “Seriously. Come on!”

“You know what?” Gwilym huffed. “Fine. Call him.”

Gwilym and Joe sat and waited for Ben to pick up the phone, bouncing their knees anxiously.

“M’lo?” Ben’s sleepy voice came through.

“Hey, mate!” Gwilym looked at Joe for guidance.

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“We just, uh,” Joe started, “we just wanted to check up on you. See how you were doing.”

“I’m fine?” Ben rubbed at his eyes.

“Was that a question or a statement?” Gwilym rubbed his stubbly chin.

“I meant, I’m fine.” Ben blinked into dark. “Are you?”

“Yeah, we just wanted to let you know we’re here for you.” Joe intervened. “If you need to talk about it and stuff.”

“Talk about what?”

“Uhm, Annie…” Joe looked at Gwilym, confusion splattered on his face. “We saw the article.”

“Article?” Ben mumbled to himself, “what...? Oh. Oh!”

“Yeah, we, uh, we know.”

“That’s just a bullshit article, guys.” Ben sighed. “I talked to her about it. She promised it’s just tabloids looking for trouble. Relax.”

“Yeah?” Gwilym quipped.

“Mhm. It’s fine.” Ben yawned.

“That’s not what Clara’s been telling me, mate.” Gwilym pursed his lips.

“Sorry?”

“Clara thinks there might be some truth to that so-called bullshit article.” Gwil added. “She says Jamie and Annie are very, very close and handsy lately. Not just during scenes.”

“Well, I trust her.” Ben rolled his eyes. “She’d never cheat.”

“Well, that’s true.” Joe agreed. “But just because she didn’t do anything with me doesn’t mean -”

“Look, I appreciate the concern and all,” Ben was more than done with the conversation, “but nothing’s going on between them. I know Annie. I can tell when she’s lying. If she said nothing is happening - I believe her.”

“So Clara’s imagining things?” Gwilym scoffed. “Really, Ben.”

“Maybe she’s jealous Annie started hanging out with Jamie again, I really don’t know what to tell you.” Ben yawned again. “Anyways, I have a super early morning. I’m going back to sleep. Miss you guys!”

“Miss you too, buddy.” Joe said. “Good night.”

“Night.” Ben hung up the call and fell asleep with the phone in his hand.

###

“What, you’re carpooling now?” Clara scoffed when Jamie and Annie got out of Annie’s car. “Are you joking?”

“My wheels broke down.” Jamie shrugged. “I live pretty close to Annie. She offered to help.”

Clara looked from Jamie to Annie and back again.

“Thanks for telling Gwil I’m cheating on Ben, by the way.” Annie locked her car and walked past Clara, nonchalant. “I really appreciate that.”

“I… Well it’s... “ Clara stammered.

“No, really.” Annie turned around, grinning happily. “Gave us a good laugh.”

“First of all,” Clara stalked behind Annie, “he asked me what I thought of that gossip site article thingy.”

“Clearly you thought they hit the nail on the head.” Annie noted.

“Well, no, but you two are acting very…”

“Friendly?” Annie suggested.

“Nice?” Jamie offered.

“Snuggly.” Clara corrected them both. “And I know both of you for years now. When you two get snuggly, it usually means your genitals are snuggly too.”

“I’m engaged, Clara.” Jamie took off his sunglasses and placed them on top of his head. “You’ve got it wrong.”

“Why are you so defensive, then?” Clara raised an eyebrow. Jamie opened and closed his mouth, seemingly at a loss. “Whatever it is you two are up to,” Clara chastised them as if they were schoolchildren, “it’s wrong and it’s going to hurt those you supposedly love so much.”

Annie scoffed and rolled her eyes.

###

“I’ve missed you.” Ben kissed the top of Annie’s head in the airport arrivals hall. Home. For good. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“You’re home now.” Annie mumbled, one hand on the luggage cart. “I’ve missed you so bloody much.”

It was still dark outside. The cold air hit Ben. The familiar, faint smell of rain made him feel at instant ease. He was home, for good this time.

“Rors?” he asked while yawning.

“At your parents’.” Annie led the way to the car. “I have work tomorrow but I already told them I’m coming in late.”

They idly chatted as they walked through the parking lot towards Annie’s car. When Ben collapsed in the passenger seat, he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

“M’so tired.” Ben mumbled and placed a hand on the back of Annie’s headrest. “How’s Jamie?”

“Good, good.” Annie started the car. “Always alert. Clara’s mad at me.”

“How come?”

“She feels like I’m hiding something and I’m pretty sure she’s ninety-three-point-eight-percent convinced I’m cheating on you.” Annie sighed. “And I’m not confirming nor denying it.”

“Gotta stick to the plan.” Ben smiled lazily. “I’ll keep her occupied. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, yeah?” Annie glared at Ben through the corners of her eyes. “What’s that mean?”

“Oh, relax.” Ben chuckled.

###

Award season was not a fun time for Annie.

At first it was fine. Late nights with Clara, rooting for their men while watching the live broadcasts. Shrieks of joy whenever Rami won. Waking Rory up with said shrieks and then having to bounce-bounce-tap her to sleep again.

Then, Ben started asking Annie to join him on award nights. While she tried to weasel her way out of it, he insisted and she complied. She didn’t mind the pretty gowns and spending time with her soon-to-be husband; what bothered her was how utterly boring these award shows were.

Annie’s stomach growled loudly. Loud enough for Gwilym and Clara to look at her with raised eyebrows. Loud enough to make the people in the table next to them giggle quietly. Loud enough to hurt.

“Hungry?” Ben leaned over and whispered to her.

“What gave it away?”

“The dinosaur noise coming out of your body.” Ben smirked.

“Was it that loud?” Annie blushed.

“I think the people on stage might have heard it too.” Clara interjected, making Annie slump down in her chair.

“I brought candy.” Ben whispered in Annie’s ear and kissed her cheek, whipping out a Snickers bar from his slacks. “There’s more where that came from.”

###

This wasn’t Annie’s first time attending the BAFTA awards. She’s been here before with Jamie for their rendition of Hamlet (and lost), but the excitement still consumed her. Ben and Annie matched. He wore a glittery black dress-shirt; she wore a glittery black evening gown with a plunging neckline.

“You two make a stunning couple!” the interviewer on the red carpet said. Annie and Ben exchanged smitten looks. “Will you two ever tie the knot?”

“Sooner than you might expect!” Annie giggled as Ben pulled her closer by wrapping an arm around her waist. “Who said we’re not already married?”

“You’re certainly acting the newlywed part!” the interviewer laughed with a confused look. “Yet, there are no rings…”

“Ben! You’re holding everyone back!” Joe called from a distance.

“Sorry to cut this short. Lovely talking to you!” Ben winked at the interviewer and tugged Annie along by the hand.

Once they were out of earshot, Ben turned around and stood still. Annie almost crashed right into him.

“What the fuck?” Ben asked, his palms open and facing upwards, jaw clenched. “Have you lost it completely?”

“What?” Annie giggled nervously.

“Either you want people to know or you don’t,” Ben glared at his girlfriend. “Pull a stunt like that again and I’m sending out invitations to everybody we know, you hear me?”

###

After-parties were Annie’s favourite part of award shows, and the BAFTA after party was fun. Open bar, great music and great company. The BoRhap group hung out on the balcony. Drinks were flowing, conversation was great and Joe pulled out all the stops with his dance moves. It was only natural for Ben to whip out his phone and film it.

Doing a simple two step, Joe slid from right to left and snapped his fingers. He shuffled his feet and popped the button on his tux jacket open and started moving backwards, waving one hand to the beat. Moving forward, he did a little turn and bounced his shoulders, his body swaying in perfect sync with the beat, lip-synching to Drop it Like it’s Hot as he danced. Shuffling backwards, he then step-touched once to the front, once to the back. Flicking his coat-tails back, he danced his way over to a very amused looking Ben.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” Clara’s eyes glinted playfully.

“My parents own a dance studio.” Joe shrugged once the camera was off. “It’s in my blood.”

“Amazing.” Clara laughed. “Truly.”

“Thank you!”

###

“Ooooh, don’t we look good together? There’s a reason why they watch all night long…” Clara and Annie sang, as they danced with each other. To appease Ben, who was still clearly pissed off at Annie for the interview slip-up, she knew how to make him forget all about it. The dance got frisky and handsy pretty quick.

“Yeah, know we'll turn heads forever; So tonight I'm gonna show you off!” the girls sang, stepping away from each other. Annie ran her hands down the length of Clara’s arms and held onto her hands. “When I'm walkin' with you; I watch the whole room change..” Clara pulled Annie closer in a spin and wrapped her arms around her. “Baby, that's what you do; No, my baby, don't play!” they swayed their hips together to the beat. “Blame it on my confidence; Oh, blame it on your measurements…” they rolled their bodies together, Clara’s hands running down Annie’s sides. “Shut that shit down on sight - That's right!”

“We out here drippin' in finesse; It don't make no sense! Out here drippin' in finesse; You know it, you know it!” Their bodies snaked and writhed together to the music, each girl throwing seductive looks at her man while Rami filmed them on Clara’s phone. Clara’s flowy red dress was a stark contrast to Annie’s glittery black gown.

###

“Finally!” Annie sighed when Ben unlocked the front door after four failed attempts due to being absolutely blitzed and the fact that it was dark outside. “Jesus!”

“Get in there, brat.” Ben muttered and nudged Annie forward before smacking her bum playfully. “You are a menace.”

“Me?” Annie wore the most innocent expression, batting her eyelashes and pouting her lips. “A menace?”

“Mhm.” Ben took off his jacket and undid his bow-tie, slurring his words. “Dancing like that. In public.”

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.” Annie giggled and yelped when Ben pulled her close. “Sounds to me like you were jealous.”

“Jealous?” Ben raised an eyebrow.

“Yup.” Annie placed her hands on his shoulders. “Super jell.”

“You think this is a game, huh?” Ben’s deep voice sent electric currents in Annie’s intoxicated brain, almost hypnotising her. “You think you’re so cute…”

“I know I am…” Annie purred, eyes closed.

“Yeah?” Ben smirked slyly. “You think I’m your little toy?” he bit his bottom lip. “I think you’ve got it all wonky.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You’re my toy to play with.” Ben bent down and threw Annie over his shoulders. “And I’m just getting started. This is going to be a long, long game.”

###

“Ah, the dynamic duo!” Mike grinned when the girls practically stumbled together onto set the next day, hungover and frazzled. “Nice moves!”

“Ugh.” Annie shut her eyes tight. “Not doing this right now.”

“Out here drippin’ in finesse…” Mike sang teasingly.

“Children, are we ready to listen, now?” the director and scriptwriter approached the trio. “Girls, I don’t care how much you’ve had to drink, get it together for Christ’s sake.”

“Lights. Too bright.” Clara mumbled, fighting the urge to rub her eyes. “So tired.”

“Annabelle, we want you furious for this scene. Your husband gave your lady in waiting trinkets and she has the nerve to wear them in your presence. Go insane on her.”

“Not a problem.” Annie stretched her neck.

“Take your places, then. Let’s get started.”

Once the director called ‘Action!’, hungover Annie was gone and fierce, jealous Anne arrived. They shot the scene in ten takes, only because of changing camera angles.

###

“We have a second witness. And a third one, in case Jamie nopes out.” Ben beamed when Annie came home later that night. “Trustworthy, they know both of us, would never tell a soul. You love them.”

Annie pondered over Ben’s declaration for a minute, trying to figure out who these mystery witnesses might be.

“Annie, my love, do you need a clue?” Ben chuckled and warmed up Annie’s dinner in the microwave.

“It hurts to think today.” Annie admitted.

“Does it hurt to walk, as well?” Ben smiled cheekily. “Feeling a bit exerted, hm?”

“Yes.” Annie blushed. “I have bruises everywhere.”

“Good.”

“So, who are these mystery witnesses?”

“Rock legends and honorary grandpas to Rory.” Ben tried to hide his smile. “Also known as -”

“No!” Annie’s smile lit up the room. “No!”

“Yes!”

“Ben! I’m… I’m…” Annie blinked quickly, indicating she was close to tears.

“You’re welcome.”

###

TAGLIST: @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

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theartfuldodger26 · 5 years ago

Note

For the prompt I'll be predictable: Harry Potter, Bellamort and Bellatrix 😁

Thanks for the prompts, @bellamort1993! Feel free to answer the same :)

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort.

Bella is the closest to my heart, but apparently I waste the most brainmatter on Tom/Voldemort, so *shrugs*

Harry is my favourite light character, he’s an admirable person.

Least Favorite character:

Umbridge, as is universally accepted.

Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Bellamort (which is canon, bitches)

Delphi/Harry (it will become canon, you just wait for TCC part3)

Tomarry but not Harrymort (nearly counts as canon judging by how often Harry gushes over handsome Tom’s face)

Drarry (I’m human and susceptible to fandom mainstream, plus there’s some fantastic fics out there)

Delphi/Victoire (cause two pretty, hot-headed ladies are my cup of tea any day)

Character I find most attractive:

Bellatrix, hands down. Then Voldemort can do things to me too, but Bella would be my first choice.it’s so nice being bi, isn’t it.

Character I would marry:

No one, I’m happy by myself.

Delphi can be my angsty fuck buddy with whom we meet every once in a while, bitch, get drunk, cry and fuck.

Character I’d be friends with:

Harry, tho I’m not the best of friends and he does bring an unappealing high mortality rate to any occasion. It’s fiiine.

a random thought:

The wizarding world makes zero sense in so many places. They haven’t had an Industrial Revolution, meaning they haven’t known first hand the new ideas that came with it, and they seem to be stuck in the Middle Ages in many ways, even if they dont seem extremely Christian as these times actually were. We know little about the political system and their beliefs are so random. It’s really confusing.

An unpopular opinion:

Idk what’s unpopular these days. Aside from Albus’ name, I actually liked the Epilogue.

It showed what we needed to know: that Harry and the rest made it out okay. They found the courage to face their destroyed community and rebuild, even though they had gone through enough during the war. I think JKR said it herself in an interview how important rebuilding is after a catastrophe, how it can daunt even the bravest people. The miracles of Japan and Germany bouncing back and better after WWII are relevant real-life examples here.

A married Harry, enthusiastic about hugging his kids goodbye on their first day of school, a day that to him symbolises a new beginning, is the greatest gift and it does not erase the pain he might feel every day for going through hell in his early life. In fact, it’s this snipet of normalcy what he craved as a boy and refused to daydream about because its weight would be too much,and now he gets to have it. Along with the nightmares and the PTSD and the new challenges yes, but now, in this moment, as he waves to the new generation that he helped create, he’s safe, loved and happy. He deserves it.

Second unpopular opinion: I don’t give a damn if McGonagall’s timeline is screwed up by bringing her to life in the 20′s. Didn’t really matter to the story before and she’s a freaking badass and comic relief, which is the best combo ever. Is it fan-bating or whatever it was called? Sure. But if she makes the story better with her presense I give minus two fucks about when JKR originally said she was born (also, newsflash: people have the right to change HC’s, especially people who don’t shit about maths, like our dear creator)

My Canon OTP:

BELLAMORT

Seriously, I have screenshoted the details of TCC where it shows they’re canon.

My Non-canon OTP:

Harry/Delphi

I know, I’m sick, it’s fine. *insert dog sipping coffee in the flaming house meme here*

Most Badass Character:

Bellatrix, handsdown.

McGonagall for good people.

Most Epic Villain:

Voldemort, we’d have no books without him. He can be dumb, but it’s cute.

Pairing I’m not a fan of:

I’m not huge on non-canon Hermione ships, and anything with Snape is gross.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

…Snape? Not his character, but the positive light she gave him by naming Harry’s kid after him. It appeared she was clear on him not being an admirable person, but then he’s the bravest bloke ever? No, ma’am.

On a Fantastic Beasts note, I do hope they handle the backstories of all characters well. We’ll surely get back to this after the FB series are over.

Favourite Friendship:

The Golden Trio, they work as a three-man-group better, I won’t devide them. Also, as a part-time writer I have to admire how the writing and dynamics were handled, it’s so hard to think as more than one person, not to mention three!

Character I most identify with:

PostAzkaban!Bellatrix feels she’s letting her master and herself down, and so do I. I keep looking for my former self. Who wasn’t much after all, but had some qualities I should recultivate.

Character I wish I could be:

… I’d like to have some Bellamort qualities that I lack, but in general I’m fine working on myself.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them:

After I finished the books, so that’s since 2007. 12 cool, angsty years.

My thoughts:

I love them, they’re my evil babies. In fact, I don’t even have reasons for loving them, as most shippers do, I’d just die for them, end of reasoning.

What makes me happy about them:

That they’re complicately made for each other in their unique goth way. And that in the end they had a kid, which I think helped Voldemort out a lot with his issues with intimacy and emotions.

What makes me sad about them:

That they died *sobs hysterically*.

Also in the books they have like two scenes together. (HE SCREAMED THO)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Seeing Bella’s character butchered down to a snivelling, slavish idiot, though these aren’t Bellamort fics usually.

In Bellamort fics, it feels like a cheat when it says Bellamort but it’s just Bella pining and Voldemort really not caring. I don’t have a problem with the POV, but it needs to be tagged as unrequited. Otherwise I’m open to perspectives.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Good writing, mostly.

I’m also a huge fan of Muggle!AU’s, so if you have that, I’ll read it, no questions asked XD

My wishlist:

On Amazon? :P Fine, I’ll show myself out

I presume this means wishlist on fics/art with these two, but do correct me if I’m wrong. I dont have one, since I write myself, so whatever I want to read, I write. Right now I’m eager to finish the following Bellamort fics:

1. Harry finds out about Bellamort via looking through Voldy’s stuff.

2. BellaDiesButVoldyWins!AU

3. Voldemort discovers his breastfeeding kink

4. A therewasonlyonebed!fic

5. Tomarry turns Bellamort in Easter setting, Muggle!AU, Harry wets himself in the process

In general I’d say I’d like to see more classic, tropy fanfics with these two, lighter ones, you know. Angst is great, but let us enjoy the coffeeshop!AU too.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Alone and miserable.

I guess Bella would have been okay with Rodolphus, had Tom/Voldemort never been born.

And Voldemort/Tom would have been fine too with some nameless pretty woman he did not love but had to marry to keep face.

But I think that they would have never been truly happy with anyone else. especially Tom, he’d never be really comfortable with anyone.

My happily ever after for them:

VoldemortWins!AU, they conquer Europe, Bella is Minister for War, Voldemort the Emperor. Maybe they have a kid, maybe a couple more or none at all, who cares, the point is they live and fulfull their dreams of revolutionising the Wizarding Wolrd.

I also have a sappy afterlife!AU where for a while Bella is imprisoned at the family castle for having a halfblood little bastard, goes half-insane as Voldemort seacrhes for her (they had a spat right after they got there), and Delphi kills herself and goes to find her dad in small-child form. They finally get tgether and live deathly ever after in some Norwegian fjord in the frozen tundra. (it’s also my personal happy ending, only it’s cats and snakes)

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character:

I love Bella. She’s a bitch and a sadist, but I love her.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:

The one and only, his majesty the Dark Lord himself.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

Rodolphus, he’s her only friend.

Also, sad HC: Bella was very close to Andromeda until she got too involved with Voldemort and his cause, and they drifted apart. No one wept harder than Bella after Andy left, and it was her who spent days banging on the Tonks’ door to let them speak to her. Voldy could squeeze tears out of his shirt after she fell asleep on him crying about it.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Again, not sure about what’s unpopular.

I believe she suffers from genuine mental illness that tortures her a lot and makes her life (and her shared life with Voldemort too) very hard. Also I find her more self-doubting and reserved than most authors, hard working and largely indifferent to people who aren’t Voldemort.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Actual romantic scene would have been nice, but HE SCREAMED after all. Let’s not ask for too much.

Favorite friendship for this character:

Rodolphus and Andromeda. Recently I’ve started Brotp-ing Sirius with Bella too, before they parted ways.

My crossover ship:

I don’t really have any other fandoms, sorry.

Well, that was fun! Thanks again!

#ask #bellamort #bellatrix lestrange #lord voldemort #bellamort1993

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oldladydatin · 5 years ago

Text

The Catfish Chef

My bestfriend watches these crazy reality shows all the time. When I first started talking to men that weren’t my ex husband her favorite thing to say to me was “Girl, you being catfished,” I would always say I don’t even understand what that means. She’d explain it to me and I’d think that doesn’t make any sense? Why would someone pretend to be something they’re not? The great thing about lies is that eventually they always get discovered? So if you lie about who you are, eventually the other person is going to find out? So why lie. But she’s said that about every guy I’ve gotten involved with and the crazy thing is how often she’s right. I’ve been lied to about everything! Occupation, financial status, marital status, other women, felonies, living situations, children, appearance, anything you can think of, I’ve been lied to about it. Being “catfished” is sadly apart of online dating that you have to be worried about.

I’ve been seeing someone the last few weeks. I had my reservations about this relationship from the beginning. But I did what I always do and talked myself out of my feelings. Honestly the things that concerned me were probably very real and valid concerns but felt judgmental. This guy is from Guatemala, he has hypertension and diabetes, and like a lot of people I run across with such issues he didn’t take care of it. Now he’s in renal failure in his early 40′s and he gets dialysis three times a week. I’m a nurse, I’m very aware of what that means for his life, and if I take him on what it would mean for my life. I’m worried about dating someone with such huge medical issues, but that feels judgmental. He also tells me he’s on the donor list, it’s a 5 year wait list, after I explained to him I love to travel and asked if he could even do that on dialysis. I asked a few friends would you date someone in renal failure and they all felt the same way I did. The other one was he alleged he was 5′3″, I don’t really like short men, to me my ex boyfriend was the shortest guy I had ever dated, and the shortest guy I’d consider dating. But then I’m 5′2″ and I show up to a date and I’m taller than him, so he’s not 5′3″ at all. I didn’t say anything because I thought maybe he’s self conscious about it, it’s definitely the number one thing men lie about. But the more we talk the more I think this guy is sweet and he seems caring, maybe this is okay, however I made it clear I wanted to keep it open and move slow, because let’s be honest here, I no longer trust men.

He’s so sweet and romantic. I have three vases of flowers in my house right now because every time he shows up to get me he brings flowers. He asked my favorite colors and he always makes sure they’re my favorite colors. He’s written me poetry, he’s extremely attentive, he checks on me all day. He got almond milk ice cream and we went up the mountain to see the sunset and ate ice cream together. He took me out on my birthday to get margaritas at my favorite bar and got me my favorite gluten free brownie. For my birthday after only seeing each other for a few days he got me roses and oddly a blue tooth vibrator we could use together. No one has ever gotten me a sex toy? I’ve bought sex toys to use with my partners but nobodies ever thought of me like that. This was fun and a surprise but also strange because we hadn’t had sex. We had kissed, cuddled and held hands, but no sex. He was always trying to come over and help me with things around my house, he was constantly offering to cook for me. As we talked he was literally assessing how he could help make my life easier. He’d wake me up with cheesy pick up lines, they were cute. We spent a night video chatting and playing with the blue tooth toy, I’d never done anything like that and it was a lot of fun. I love the way he says babe, and all the lovey nicknames he gives me. On the surface he seems like a dream come true.

The downsides come out one by one. First thing is he wants to text all day, and I mean ALL day, or spend all day together, I can’t get anything done. I ask him “don’t you have to work?” he says he just got out of the hospital for some GI issue and he’s taking some time off, that makes sense. He picks me up for our first date and we’re talking over dinner and he starts telling me about issues with his daughter. He tells me him and his ex are good friends and how when he first got sick his ex took him in, when that wasn’t working out she bank rolled an apartment for him, then she kicked him out and he had to move in with his mom. So, this guy lives with him mom. He told me he owned and operated a business so I ask about that. He tells me about this business his friend and him started and then he says when he got sick, two years prior, he had to step back because he couldn’t do it. Slowly I realize, he doesn’t work, he doesn’t have a job. He wants to text me and be with me all hours of the day because he literally has nothing else to do? He has nothing else to focus on? All he does is dialysis for 4 hours, 3 times a week. While I understand that’s a lot, and I understand that it wears you out, I know many people who find jobs they can do with those issues, he’s given up. So I start to notice he’ll ask me how I’m doing and if I’m not feeling great or I complain about something he turns it into a whose life is worse Olympics every time. So I quit telling him how I am, because my ex husband used to do that and I know all too well there’s no winning the whose life sucks worse Olympics, especially against someone whose hobby is self pity, I just don’t spend that much time on the negatives in my life. I also start noticing he’s wallowing in it, and suggested he see a therapist, he seemed offended by this and then starts to swear he’s the most positive person ever. He starts blaming all of his issues on everyone else. He takes me out another time and I find out “his” car is really his mom’s car. He takes me out another time and tells me he never does anything, like he won’t even explore the mountain on his own because he’d rather have someone to share every single thing with. I take this badly because to me he doesn’t even sound emotionally independent. He’s also missing a lot of teeth. So at this point he’s truly just riding on the fact that he treats me well, but I’m extremely nervous about being involved with him because he doesn’t have a lot to offer me, and his negative traits remind me of being with my ex husband.

The icing on this shitty cake. One night we hang out and I finally offer for him to come in my house. We have talked extensively about my insanely high sex drive, he knows I’m a very sexual person. He knows I’ve 700 male followers online and that I have some pictures out there, he knows I explored being a cam girl. He also knows about the bdsm stuff. He’s had a few freak outs about that, because he’s hella insecure. I worried because one day he asked me if I hated small dicks and when I said yes he kind of freaked out about how I’m going to cheat on him so I’m thinking does this man have a tiny dick? I’d mentioned I had a bbc fetish, he freaked he said all of his girlfriends have cheated on him with a bbc men. But then, I mentioned the fact that I had put it out there that i’d like to experience being with a women and he freaked out about how all his girlfriends have left him for women, so I’m not sure what to believe. We make out in my room and he plays with me with his fingers and it doesn’t go past that. I’m super frustrated by this. He rubs my back until I pass out and I wake up a few hours later and I’m horny, so I made the move that time. I start kissing him, I take my clothes off, I essentially tell him what to do, but again he stops short. So I grabbed his dick through his pants, which was in no way erect and it’s small. He says he’s sorry but with the diabetes he can’t get hard. I worried about him having ED with his medical issues. But I’m a little shocked because he’s aware I’m going to want sex and a lot of it? And this man can’t fuck me? I wish when they were explaining hypertension and diabetes to men, instead of telling them about what that does to their heart or their lungs, or eyes, that they’d start with the fact that it can give you erectile dysfunction. So now I’m in bed, naked, with a guy who can’t do anything for me and he says to me, well we can use your toys? I can use my toys, that’s for alone time? What a nightmare. I can’t believe this is happening to me again!

I go to work and I’m telling a friend about all this when all the girls started trickling in. Odd thing about my job is when I first started I was told multiple times, by multiple people, that these people were going to be my family now. I didn’t believe that but after about a year they were most definitely my family and I couldn’t have gotten through so much in this past year and a half without them in my life. I share this awkward sexual experience with all of them and we’re just laughing hysterically.

Friend: You tell him you gonna have to cheat on him? Cause I’d cheat on him!

Me: Girl even if he got a prescription for viagra it was tiny? There wasn’t enough there to do anything with regardless. I can’t be in a relationship with a man who can’t fuck me?

Then I told them the kicker, he left stuff at my house! He really did! I think he knew this was probably the end of us dating and he left stuff. He left his wallet? I was trying to get him to come right back and get all this stuff but he wouldn’t. He made some joke about how I could just mail it if I was trying to get rid of him. My friend said, girl did you get his address? I’d have been like what’s your address? I’ll send it out today.

So I met a man in his 40′s whose dating profile made it sound like he was a chef, with a business, and single dad, who has his shit together. What I got was a disabled, homeless, jobless, carless, toothless, dickless guy, whose adult daughter won’t talk to him, who definitely does not have his shit together, and been living off other people for years.

Today I woke up to 5 text messages and 3 snaps, when I suddenly remembered his drivers license is in his wallet, and that has his address on it. Bye Felicia!

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zareleonis · 6 years ago

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My Star Wars Top 10 of 2018

This year I fell massively in love with Star Wars, learned more about a galaxy far, far away that I ever expected and started this blog, first to liveblog Star Wars Rebels, and later to share my thoughts on whatever new (and old!) Star Wars media I came across. In honor of what, in my mind, was a really fun year for Star Wars, I wanted to share my top 10 list of my favorite Star Wars things that came out this year, across different kinds of media. Read more because it’s really long :P

Honorable Mention: Flight of the Falcon multimedia series (by multiple authors and artists)

Okay, if I’m honest, this gets honorable mention spot, mostly because I felt like putting it in top 10 when it’s really a BUNCH of comics and books would be totally cheating :P One of the more fun things to come out of Solo: A Star Wars Story, this series of loosely connected books and comics whose main connecting factor is the Millennium Falcon (and Bazine Netal’s hunt for it!) is an absolute joy. Cavan Scott knocks it out of the park with the ridiculously fun Choose Your Destiny: A Luke and Leia Adventure. IDW Comics does what’s it does best by bringing together some exciting and unexpected pairs of characters for the last couple months of Star Wars Adventures. In Lando’s Luck Justina Ireland gave us the coolest darn Princess in Star Wars since Leia, Rinetta Gan. And they’re not even done yet, with 2 more comics and Pirate’s Price left to go!

10. Star Wars: Scum and Villainy: Case Files on the Galaxy’s Most Notorious by Pablo Hidalgo

What an awesome and fun book! So much great art, and Pablo Hidalgo always gives 100% with his work. It’s such a creative concept, following Tan Divo and and his descendants, as they report on the criminals and rebels of their day. I completely geeked out over how it gave soooo much neat new information about characters and organizations from ALL OVER the Star Wars universe. It’s an absolute blast!

9. Solo: A Star Wars Story: Tales from Vandor by Jason Fry

This book is AMAZING. Even among the “replica journal” style books that Studio Fun puts out, it stands out as super unique, written from the point of view of the Midnight, the bartender at The Lodge on Vandor (where Han meets Lando), as if he is telling the story to a guest. It’s such a fun outsider’s point of view of Han and the other characters of Solo. The best part though, is the parts of the book that are just a shameless love letter to Star Wars Legends, with nods to stuff like The Wookiee Storybook, LEGO Star Wars: The Padawan Menace and several novels. Jason Fry’s love for the franchise really shines through.

8. Star Wars: Poe Dameron by Charles Soule and penciller Angel Unzueta

This year we said a bittersweet goodbye to Marvel’s monthly Star Wars: Poe Dameron and goodness gracious it was good. Between the Legend Found arc that was to be the original ending and the final The Awakening arc, where Black Squadron is reunited after The Last Jedi, this comic really touched my heart. The last couple pages of issues 25 and 31 still make me cry. :’)

7. Solo: A Star Wars Story directed by Ron Howard and screenplay by Lawrence and Jon Kasdan

THIS MOVIE IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED AND I’M MAD AT EVERYONE WHO LET IT FLOP. I’ll admit I wasn’t exactly desperate for a Han Solo Backstory Movie, but Solo was just AWESOME. Just some good, raw, Star Wars-y fun that you can’t help but smile the whole way through. It might not be groundbreaking, but it introduced some super cool characters in L3-37, Qi’ra and Enfys Nest, gave us Maul’s grand triumphant return to the public at large and has INCREDIBLY charming performances by Alden Ehrenreich and Donald Glover as the Han and Lando we all come to love.

6. The Mighty Chewbacca in the Forest of Fear! by Tom Angleberger

If Solo, is good, this kid’s book written to accompany it is even better. I mean, Chewbacca meets K-2SO meets Tooka cats meets teenage bounty hunter/librarian?? On a planet with scary monsters and a spooky evil Force user? Also Cassian is there?? And the daughter of This Funny Hat Dude from Return of the Jedi? Hell yeah!!!!!

The book is hysterical, ridiculously fun and I can’t recommend it enough. I just have to say if you do get it, try and grab the audiobook it’s got a full cast of voices for the main characters including Marc Thompson giving his best Shyriiwook as Chewbacca. I laughed so hard I cried at the narration and a K-2SO’s lines done out loud. You won’t regret it!

5. Star Wars: Women of the Galaxy by Amy Ratcliffe and eighteen awesome artists!

THIS is one of the coolest Star Wars books out there and a celebration of all the women we know and love (and sometimes hate) in a galaxy far, far away. It’s such a wonderful collaboration, created by all women (& non-binary) artists and author. I love that it’s got characters from practically everything—movies, books, comics, video games, you name it! We even got to see characters like Jas Emari for the first time which makes me SO HAPPY. it’s one of the books I come back to all the time just to flip through it and enjoy the illustrations.

4. Star Wars Resistance created by Dave Filoni and executive produced by Athena Yvette Portillo, Justin Ridge, and Brandon Auman

I LOVE RESISTANCE SO MUCH!! I didn’t quiiite know what to expect with the new animated series, but was super excited and it hasn’t disappointed one bit. It’s such a fun show and really enjoyable to have a Star Wars show that is almost just ‘slice of life’ compared to the others. The animation is so cool to me and the characters really cute. I’m ridiculously charmed by all of them, especially our main man Kazuda Xiono and really hyped to see where these characters go. It’s more happy and fun than anything, but I know it will break my heart to pieces soon enough (KAZUDA XIONO. HOME PLANET: HOSNIAN PRIME). I hope more people give it a chance because it really is awesome!

3. Star Wars Adventures: Tales from Vader's Castle by Cavan Scott and various artists

LET THIS BE MY LOVE LETTER TO CAVAN SCOTT AND ALL THE COOL AND AWESOME STUFF HE’S DONE WITH THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE!! I was soooo excited when these came out because it’s such an AWESOME idea, I mean? Star Wars Horror story one-shots connected by a wider plot??? YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Doubly so when they star Lina Graf, of the Adventures in Wild Space series by Cavan Scott and Tom Huddleston. I was soooo excited to see her again and it’s amazing to see how she’s grown from a young kid to a brave and capable pilot and Commander in the Rebellion.

Then the individual stories are just awesome. It was a joy to see Kanan and Hera back together again after Rebels (or, well, pre-Rebels). The Dooku story was just amazing and such an enthusiastic tribute to Christopher Lee as Dracula. The Frozen inspired Han and Chewie story was also pretty great and I LOVE that it referenced the events of The Mighty Chewbacca in the Forest of Fear! And, my personal favorite story, the spooky ewok story featuring a young Chief Chirpa and Logray was brilliant and I enjoyed getting a closer first-hand look at ewoks (something we don’t have much of, at least in canon!). All in all just an absolute masterpiece in my book and a great reminder of why IDW Comics’ Star Wars stuff has been so freaking awesome.

2. Join the Resistance: Attack on Starkiller Base by Ben Blacker and Ben Acker and illustrated by Annie Wu

I’M BACK AT IT YELLING ABOUT WHY MORE PEOPLE NEED TO CARE ABOUT THESE WONDERFUL, CHARMING LITTLE KIDS’ BOOKS!! This was such a perfect end to the J-Squadron kids’ story. To me, this series is such a hidden gem and I really hope more people give it a chance. It was wonderful how all the characters’ stories closed out. I loved seeing Jo finally openly defy his parents, Mattis putting his faith in the Force and his friends, the return of Klimo, AG-90 and Dec fighting as brothers but growing stronger for it, and Lorica becoming the hero everybody thought she was. There’s so many fun cameos, from Rey, to Hux to Poe and Black Squadron, with the backdrop of the actual climactic battle in The Force Awakens.

And, one thing I really want to talk about that I love, is how the book (in tandem with the first two) give us the first gay character in a Star Wars kids book, with Dec Hansen. I wish they could’ve said it a bit more explicitly, but we actually got the kid and his friends talking about it in the books? And, with most of the LGBT characters falling more on the “scum and villainy” circles of the galaxy, it’s so refreshing to see a brave and unambiguously heroic gay teenage starfighter pilot trainee. Like, holy shit that actually happened!!!! ANYWAYS READ THIS SERIES I LOVE THEM AND YOU SHOULD TOO.

Oh, also, Annie Wu’s illustrations are AWESOME and I hope she does more Star Wars stuff (Pirate’s Price, out in a week!)

1. Star Wars Rebels created by Dave Filoni, Simon Kinberg and Carrie Beck

I don’t think there’s way I could place anything but Rebels at #1. This show changed my life in so many ways and I’m just. ridiculously thankful it exists. without Rebels, I wouldn’t have this blog, I wouldn’t be up to my ears obsessed with Star Wars and I there’s so many friends I wouldn’t have either. It’s touched my heart in a way that.... gosh I don’t know if I can even think about anything that resonates with me quite in the way Star Wars Rebels has. Pretty sure most if not all of my followers have seen Rebels, haha, but if you haven’t. You won’t regret it. Well, you might. It hurts. I hate to say, but it does. But even if the end destination leaves you heartbroken and uh prone to randomly bursting into tears about it, you will never regret the journey. Everything I learned and experienced with Ezra, Kanan, Hera, Sabine, Zeb and Chopper is beyond precious to me and I’m thankful it exists because it made my year in so many ways.

#star wars rebels #star wars resistance #solo a star wars story #the mighty chewbacca in the forest of fear #join the resistance #tales from vader's castle #star wars: women of the galaxy #star wars poe dameron #tales from vandor #star wars: scum and villainy #flight of the falcon #star wars

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tori-cilia · 6 years ago

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Hey there

Everything I will say is 100% true. I’ve lived it all unfortunately.

So to start us off I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. My names Tori and I just turned 17 this year, I ended up switching to online school in the 10th grade and im now in 11th grade however im a few years back due to certain events that I will explain later. I have 8 siblings while my older 3 siblings were the ones that raised me. My parents were divorced before I was born so I was just thrown into the shit show I call my life, so its all ive really known. I simply want people who have experienced the same things I have to know that they are not alone and that someone understands them.

So lets start with my parents. My mom and dad met in California, now I have no idea why they were there but I do know its because they were both in the service at the time. My mom served in the navy and my dad was in the marines. my dad was in war at some point in time and my mother was lucky enough to not have to endure that. while they were in California they had my eldest sister who was born there, they both were honorably discharged and they moved to Michigan where my dad had grown up (my mom was born and raised in New York). about 2 or 3 years later my oldest brother was born and following him came my only other older sister. these three were the only ones out of the first 4 to be alive when our parents were together. I was told stories about how bad it was, my parents would constantly fight and beat on eachother. While my dad was out at bars and strip clubs after work my mother would be home drugged out and drunk and would be passed out on the couch. my siblings took care of eachother and luckily our grandparents(my dads parents) lived across the street, where they still live. Ive been told my mother would lock my siblings in their rooms while she would go and do drugs and my dad would be out cheating on my mom or getting drunk. My brother would run down the street in nothing but a dirty diaper until my grandparents would get him or the neighbors would bring him to my mom. in the middle of 2001 my mom told my dad she was pregnant in an attempt to trap him in their marriage, but clearly it didn't work. he was done with her at that point and had found someone else who would be my evil step mother for the next 9 years of my life. in april of 2002 I was born. my mom had kept me away from my dad and his side of my family for one year and the judges couldn't do anything about it since she was breast feeding me. my oldest sister told me I would always cry until my mom fed me.( she thinks its because I was going through withdrawls since my mom did drugs with me while she was pregnant). when I was 2 my mom had remarried to the biggest asshole prick I will ever meet in my entire life while my dad was married to the biggest slut and bitch that will ever exsist. so for the next few years of my life it mostly was made up of custody battles between my mom and dad with my step parents only making mine and my siblings lives worse. my mom had given birth to 4 more children who I love with all of my heart. I had moved a lot since I was born. I went from st,clair shores to Wyandotte then to taylor and that was just with my dad. I had gone to the same school until 5th grade, my step mother had forced my dad to take me out of the only place I knew that made me happy and that was eureka heights elementary school. I loved that school, its where my love for learning began. I had friends and the teachers knew me because of my siblings and the counselors already knew my home situation. I was outgoing and happy there. they moved me to blair moody in the 5th grade and I will never understand why my dad let that happen. I hated it there, I missed my teachers and I missed my friends. towards the middle of the school year my mom had moved us to grosse ile which I hated even more. its a very lonely island, the kids always thought they were better than me and made me feel horrible about myself. I started and finished middle school in grosse ile. When I was around 9 my step mom had cheated on my dad and they got divorced. she had multiple affairs throughout their marriage and eventually got pregnant one time. she told my dad it was his then aborted it and told him she had a miscarriage. later she got pregnant and this time it really was my dads but we found out later that it was a pitty baby. anyways she had given birth to my beautiful baby sister, the only good thing that came out of their marriage. after they got divorced my dad slipped into a deep depression and disappeared out of my life. for years my mom had told me it was because he didn't love me and didn't want me. I felt I would never be good enough for anyone because if my own dad didn't want me why would anyone else. My oldest sister had left my moms at 14 by telling the cops she would kill herself if she was forced to go back. my brother had just run away and never came back to my moms when he was 16. my other sister left my moms at 16 because my stepdad said we weren't allowed to see our brother anymore and i ended up having to raise my 4 younger siblings. but they all left for the same reason... they were tired of my moms bullshit, they were tired of seeing her get beat and every time we put my stepdad in jail for it she would bail him out. I watched my mom get beat up every single night for 15 years. during the 7th grade I began failing my classes and I wouldn't go to school everyday, I would bargain with my mom to let me stay home. I was diagnosed with extreme to severe depression when I was 12...that was also the year I watched my mom get taken out on a gurney while she was shaking and crying, begging for my step dad to not hurt her. I couldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't eat, I slept too much or too little. I didn't talk to anyone. I stayed in this little world in my head where things were perfect. in the 8th grade I moved to trenton with my mom. I started high school in Trenton and I made friends on orientation day for the first time in years they even convinced me to go to the homecoming game where I met my first boyfriend. that night we hit it off, we talked for hours and he stayed by my side all night and he even walked me home. he said I was beautiful and that he liked my natural hair which is curly and out of control. when I got home we started texting. we talked everyday and he eventually asked me out and I of course said yes. by then my dad had been out of my life for 5 years and my mom would never let me forget it. she told me that he wanted her to abort me and the moment she old me that everything inside me died. I hated myself. I told her I wish she did abort me. I was so depressed and full of anxiety. I was with my boyfriend for 4 months and it ended in march because of me. I had broke up with him because I met someone else. it was my little sisters birthday party and my moms friends had come with their children. I seen 2 walk in and I didn't pay no mind to them but then one boy came in..he clearly didn't want to be there. I actually had to do a double take. he followed me like a puppy that night and I would take quick glances at him. when they were about to leave he ran into my house and asked me for my snapchat and I gave it to him. we talked all night..and that was also the night I broke up with my boyfriend and it is now the one thing I will always regret. this new guys name was cj, he was dreamy and knew just the right things to say. I seen him again on his birthday that was the day we started dating. he was my first love. everything was great at first. my mom and step dad would go out with his parents and party so I would be at his house with him and my siblings and I would watch the kids and spend time with him. he showed me the love I didn't get from my dad or my mom. by this time I had stopped going to school. I was too tired from taking care of my siblings all night and then getting woken up at 3 or 4 am bc the parents were arguing and the kids were crying hysterically. I would get everything calmed down and stay awake for the rest of the night because I was too scared to fall back asleep. at the end of the school year we moved to garden city. we had been evicted from yet another house, I learned to not get too attached to places or people and for me...I didn't have a home. me and cj had been together for 2 months around this time. he helped me move into the new house and he came over every day since he lived 5 minutes away from me. I lost my virginity to him. in july I had finally left my moms when I was 15. something in me had snapped that night. my cousin didn't know who I was because my mom never let me see my dads side of the family. I called my sister because I was going to try to kill myself again. I had a handful of pills and the note on my dresser. my sister drove from grosse ile to garden city and saved my life that night. I packed my things and I left as fast as I could. I told my younger siblings that I loved them and that it wasn't their fault I was leaving..they were the only reason I stayed as long as I did..seeing them cry as I left that night made my heart break into a million pieces, they were my babies, everything I had done was for them. it was a fight every night I was gone. my mom had called the cops and reported me as a runaway. she said I was an ungrateful child. cj was kinda by my side. he didn't understand my situation. he didn't understand the hurt I was going through. I moved in with my brother a few weeks after I moved out. sometime in july cj had broken up with me. he said my family had caused too much drama and he couldn't do it anymore. the very next morning my mom came with the cops to come and get me. my entire world was falling apart around me. I was too emotionally and mentally drained to even fight it. my brother had been out of town on business so it was just me and his girlfriend. the cops told me I was just a kid who didn't like the rules and I had no reason to leave my moms. I was trying to tell them what happened at my moms but my mom kept denying it. so I gave up and just left with her. I got hack to her house and my room was used as a storage unit for them and I had to clean it by myself. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to stay in bad and sleep and wait for cj to come back. I thought maybe it was just a dream and I would wake up and id be at my brothers but it never happened. my mom and her best friend at the time would tell me I was stupid for leaving. they made me feel bad about myself everyday. I told my mom I had lost my virginity to cj and she called me cheap for giving it up to him. I got enrolled into garden city highschool. I went the first day and never showed up again. I lied to my mom and told her I was walking to school but I would leave for an hour then walk back and climb into bed and hide under the covers...she slept the whole time so she had no idea anyways. her friend had seen what it was like for me there and ended up getting me out of there. my mom raised hell when I left again. she hated me. I hated her....the night I left was the first time I had seen cj since we had broken up 4 months ago. and with my luck Nicole (my moms friend who had gotten me out of my moms) was dating cjs dad. I celebrated my 16th birthday with my dads side of the family. my siblings, my grandparents and my dad. after 7 years of not seeing him I seen him again only a month before my 16th birthday, one night my dad TEXTED me and told me him and my now step mother we’re engaged. everyone knew except me and I had to find out over text. I froze..i couldn't say anything and I just burst into tears. I was angry and I was hurt. my dad had put his girlfriends before me for years and now he was engaged. I called him and went off. I told him how him leaving effected me. how I couldn't trust anyone because of him...that night I made my dad cry..and I couldn't stop because it was his turn to feel what I felt. while I lived with Nicole I had found out my sister was pregnant. it was one of the happiest days of my life. I will always remember how I felt that day... I had also dated cj a few more times and each time he would break up with me after a few weeks. he would get me high and have sex with me and then he would leave me. I felt I was only good enough for a quick fuck. me, Nicole and her two kids moved in with her boyfriend and my ex. which only made things worse for me. we dated one final time. mine and nicoles relationship slowly deteriorated and we got into an argument and she kicked me out. I went to my grandparents cottage for a week and never heard from Nicole again. cj broke up with me again for the final time. he had cheated on me for the final time. he had broken my heart for the final time. I moved in with my dad and he went and stayed at his wifes moms house with her and her daughter while I lived alone with my sisters cats. I drank and got high every night to try to avoid the things in my mind. October 1st my niece was born. and the same day I got evicted from the place I was staying at since my dad wasn't paying the bills. so I moved in with my grandparents. I continued to smoke and eventually got caught and got kicked out. I felt terrible. I moved in with my dad and only 2 months later we got kicked out because him and his wife were acting like idiots. I got pissed off at my dad because he had let me down again. I called me sister (the same one who picked me up from my moms) and I lived with her foe a couple months. it was great, I got to see my niece everyday. I was in a really good place mentally and emotionally. I was on my meds and I was doing my online school which I was put into during the 10th grade. I celebrated my 17th birthday with my sister and brother. she got me cake and some painting stuff. now I live with my dad and here we are. I am still very depressed. im not currently on my medications due to money problems and I cant afford it. me and my dad are working on our relationship, me and my step mom are close kinda, I love my niece who is now 7 months, me and my mom are on good terms and she even threw me a birthday party. ive come a long way. and even if no one else is proud of me...I am. Don't get me wrong I still have things I need to work on but im getting there. and my siblings and grandparents have been here for me through every step. I love them and couldn't be more thankful. last year around this time if you asked me where I think I would be right now...I would say dead..but 7 months ago my beautiful niece gave me one more reason to keep fighting all the bullshit.

there is no way for me to be able to fully describe how my life has been..this is just the quick version.

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mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years ago

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Set it all free; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys, well after reading several Bohemian Rhapsody fanfics on some tumblr pages, I thought I might try to have my luck at it. Now please bear in mind this is my first time ever writing a fic about a Band. I don’t normally write about musicians (private message me about my reasons why) but after seeing the movie Bohemian Rhapsody last month, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Anyways I also got inspired after listening to Scar Jo’s song she did in the movie “Sing” to also help with this fic. So I hope you all enjoy this and any Queen fans out there, hope I didn’t make the boys to OOC or make this story suck.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, bit of angst, fluff over all.

_________________________________________________________

It was a typical day at the studio. Being a college student doing an internship is a luck of the draw, getting that one in a million chance of interning under the biggest band in the world like Queen. That’s practically almost damned near impossible. But yet here I am.

Jim Beach or as Freddie likes to call him “Miami” hired me to help assist with the band during recording sessions as well as 3 weeks of touring with them. While being their intern, I got pretty close with the guys, I looked up to them as not only my mentors for music and songwriting (since I play and sing a little bit but never really had the confidence to perform in front of a live audience) but they became like 4 big brothers to me.

Sadly however tomorrow would be last day of the internship before the next world tour of Queen, which meant I wouldn’t see the guys until 6 months until then. So I tried to make do with the time I had with the guys left.

I was currently lying on the couch watching Deaky do his solo bass recording for their current next smash hit. Once he was done he asked.

“How was that?”

“Let us turn to our younger audience for approval,” Brian said into the mic so that Deaky could hear it. The boys then turned toward me. Of course me being a college student, they always wanted a “younger” persons perspective just to see if young people like me would bang their heads, or drum on their attiring wheels while the song played on the radio.

“What do you say darling? Will your people love it?” asked Freddie.

“Oh um please hold,” I played along and made my hands into a phone and then said in my best snotty business voice, “Queen it’s the Grammy’s you’ve just won the awards for Best Producers, Best Vocal performance in a duo/group and Best song of the year.”

“Oh darling you are too kind!” Freddie praised.

“In all seriousness it was great guys, you don’t have to always rely on me to be the barrier you need. Your breakout for Bohemian Rhapsody already proved your musical talents. Much better than ‘I’m in love with my car’.”

“Watch it squirt, I was just starting to like you” Roger threatened. I stuck my tongue at him playfully giggling.

For the rest of the day, it continued on watching the guys record again and again until it was up to Freddie’s image. Once the recording was done, the guys were now just lounging around drinking some beers while I was packing up to head back to my apartment.

“Okay guys, I’m about to take off.” I said.

“Oh come now (y/n) darling, stay for a while and have a couple of drinks with us” suggested Freddie.

“I can’t Fred, I’ve got an early class tomorrow and a shit ton of homework, if I miss this bus right now I’m officially gonna be late for classes tomorrow.”

“But love tomorrow’s your last day with us, and after that we won’t see you for years.” I went to argue when Brian interjected.

“It’ll only be six months Fred. Go on love, you’re free to go. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Bri,” I then hugged and kissed the boys goodbye and said my farewells and they did the same for me.

I then raced out of the studio and headed towards the bus stop that was a few blocks away and thank God I made it just in time as the bus was coming. I paid my fee and took a seat and took out my journal and started writing my internship for the day, logging in how many hours I did and retailing the hours in total I now had so that they would count towards my Internship credit at the University.

By around 7pm I finally arrived at my neighborhood and did the remaining 5 block walk to mine and my boyfriend’s apartment. Oh yeah the one detail I left out, I live with my boyfriend Adam. We met at University, me being a music major as well as him so we hit it off pretty well.

He’s cute and pretty good looking, but sometimes his attitude can really be a real pain in the ass. Like when I first signed up for the internship, he at first didn’t want me to take it because that would mean I was always would be away from him. We had a fight about it till finally he just dropped it.

So things lately between us have been strained, so we’ve been trying to avoid each other, even though we live under the same roof which sometimes makes even going home awkward.

When I finally arrived at the door, I unlocked it and set my bags down with a groan and said.

“Baby I’m back.” But there was absolute silence. I thought it was a bit odd because he’s usually still here after dark, very rarely does he ever go out this late. “Adam? Adam you here?” I called out again. I looked around the usual placed of the flat where he would usually be but he wasn’t in the kitchen, the living room, not even his game room. So I decided maybe he was sleeping in our bedroom.

I walked down the hallway towards our shared bedroom and when I opened the door, my heart sunk.

Adam was asleep in bed alright, but he had another woman in his arms cuddled into his chest. I turned on the lights and screamed out.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Adam and the bimbo woke up and I saw that she looked like she belonged at a strip club with long blonde hair and possibly fake boobs.

“Hi, I’m Becky” the girl introduced herself in a bubble voice.

“Becky!?” I snarled.

Next thing I knew, I was tossing my now ex-boyfriend and his slut out of my flat. Adam was struggling to put his clothes back on as was Becky when Adam proclaimed.

“You were never around! What else was I supposed to do?”

“I did it for us Adam! You couldn’t have had the balls to breakup with me? No! Instead you bring this, this this—bimbo into our flat. And you sleep with her in our bed!” I then threw his prized guitar case at his chest which knocked him down to the ground.

“Oh sweetie I’m sorry. I think I left my hat in there could I maybe—” before Becky could even walk another step into the flat, I slammed the door in her face and pressed my back against the door.

‘Come on Becky, let’s get out of here!’ I heard Adam say.

I was in hysterics as I slid down onto my butt and tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t even be in this flat anymore. Without even thinking, I just bail out and took off running.

I didn’t care if people walking past me saw my crying, all I cared about was just getting as far away from my flat as I could. And I don’t know whether it was by some miracle nor do I know how I managed it, but I soon ended up back at the studio. And judging by the lack of the limos and other cars, I knew no one would be home.

Using my extra set of keys, I entered the studio and turned on a couple of lights so that I could see better. I first went into the loo and I finally saw how god awful I looked.

Blood shot red eyes, tearstains glistening on my cheeks, as well as mascara that made me look like a wasted raccoon. I turned on the tap and splashed some water on my face hoping to clean myself up before taking a towel and dapping my face lightly with it until I look slightly presentable.

I then walked into the recording booth and spotted the couch. I plopped down on it and grabbed the blanket that was over the top of it and covered my entire body with it, head and all.

Hoping and wishing that this couch would just eat me alive.

*3rd Person POV*

Around 8am sharp, the members of Queen well three of them anyways Brian, Roger and John arrived at the studio for another days of recording when they first took notice that the studio had been unlocked.

Worried that the place might’ve been ransacked, they rushed in but saw everything still in the right order. They noticed a couple lights were on so they walked towards the recording booth in the back of the studio and that’s when John noticed someone sleeping on the couch.

He quietly walked up towards the couch and removed the blanket just enough to reveal the head and that’s when he saw (y/n).

“It’s (y/n) guys.” He said quietly.

“What the bloody hell is she doing here this early?” Roger asked.

“I dunno” stated Brian.

“Should we wake her?” asked John.

“Good idea, you do it Deaky.” Roger said.

“Me? Why me why don’t you do it?”

“The last time I got on that girl’s bad side waking her up, I nearly had all my hair chopped off!”

“Hush you two! If you children keep arguing she will wake up.” Brian hissed quietly. He then shoved the other two out of the way and knelt down beside the couch and gently stroked her shoulder and whispered, “(Y/n), wake up love.” With that, (y/n) began to stir.

*My POV*

I grumbled as I felt myself waking up and the first thing I saw was Brian kneeling down in front of me. I looked up to also see Rog and Deaky standing a couple feet away from me. All three men looking at me with the same look.

Concerned.

“Hey” I stated tiredly with a hint of sadness.

“Morning (y/n). How long have you been here?” asked Brian.

“Don’t remember the time I got here, but it was pretty late. Ran all the way here from my flat.”

“Wait, wait hold on. You ran all the way from your flat to here? (Y/n) that’s like 3 bloody miles! Why did you come here?” Roger interrogated.

That’s when everything came back to me. Adam and her. Tears once again filled my eyes as I let out a couple of sobs.

“Way to go Roger you made her cry!” Deaky snarled.

“I didn’t mean to! (Y/n) love you know I—”

“It’s not you Rog. It’s not any of you.” I choked out.

“Then what is it? Come on love tell us,” Brian encouraged me as he had me sit up so he could sit beside me. Roger sat on the chair while Deaky came back with a box of tissues and sat on the other lounge chair beside Roger.

“When I got h-home last night. I—I found…..Adam. He was….He—he slept…..with another girl in our room!” I took a tissue and pressed it against my right eye as I let out a sob.

Now I have told the guys about my relationship. Around my 2nd week of my internship with the guys, we were all just hanging out and they were talking about their relationships/marriages and that’s when the boys started to interrogate me on if I had a special man in my life (mainly from Freddie) and of course when I said I did.

They wanted to know everything. It was like my four brothers became my four dads as they wanted his name, what he did for a living, how we met, how long the relationship had been going on for, and whether he was treating me right.

When I told them about the starting strain of the relationship, Roger almost wanted to go to my flat and beat the living shit out of Adam but I told him we were trying to work it out to avoid Roger Taylor being front page news of beating a young college boy. But of course he said, ‘so long as the headline say; ‘Roger Taylor defends girl’s honor’.’

“Where is he?!” Roger growled.

“Rog not now” Brian tried to keep the peace but Roger cried out.

“No! I made a promise that if he broke her heart I’d beat his bloody arse into a pulp! Now tell me (y/n) where is he?”

“I don’t know, and frankly I could give a shit. I should’ve just ended things when they got bad. This is my fault, maybe I deserved it.”

“Don’t say that love! You didn’t deserve anything. If anything he didn’t even deserve you.” Brian assured me as he rubbed my shoulder comfortingly.

“Adam was a dick to do that to you (y/n). And I agree with Brian he’s not worth it, not even your tears” Deaky said as he took another tissue and reached over and wiped away the tears from under my eyes. I looked between the three of them and just before I could say anything, the doors opened the Freddie came strutting in.

“Alright lads let’s get straight to—(y/n) why the long face darling?” he asked.

“Her boyfriend was shagging another girl last night in their flat.” Roger said clearly still wanting to kill Adam.

“Oh no, come here dear,” he came right over to me and took my hands and stood me up so that he could embrace me tightly in his arms. “Deaky, why don’t you and Rog go and make her a cup of tea, Bri see if we still got any leftover sweets.” The three of them left the booth leaving Freddie and I alone. “Did you stay here all night?”

“Yeah I just—I just couldn’t stay in that flat I…..”

“Shhh, there, there darling. Not another word about it, he was a wanker. All little boys are.” I managed out a smile. “There’s that smile I love so much darling,” he gently brushed his thumb against my cheek and lifted my chin to look up at him as he continued, “You can stay here and take it easy. You don’t have to worry about doing any work, and if anyone questions your lack of work for your final day, I’ll out in a good word for you.” He winked down at me just as Brian came back with the bowl of sweets Deaky bought a couple weeks ago, and both Rog and Deaky came back with a cup of warm tea.

The boys then guided me to a private room located next to the recording booth that felt more like a lounge room that the guys would use to just sit around if they ever needed a private moment to focus on songwriting or whatever.

Freddie set me down at the small love seat, Roger had taken the blanket that I had used last night and placed the blanket over my shoulder, Brian placed the bowl of sweets at my lap, and Deaky finally handed me my cup of tea. Judging by the smell of it, it was my favorite brand; Jasmine.

“You just take all the time you need to get settled, and if you need us, we’ll gladly drop everything and help you out.” Said Brian.

“You guys don’t have to do all that—”

“Nonsense darling. You’re hurting and we can’t allow you to be sad. It’s a crime in itself. We won’t take no for an answer. Whatever you need, no matter how big or small, you just let us know. No matter how busy we are” Freddie interjected.

I looked between the four of them and just couldn’t believe my luck. The biggest rock band in all the world, were my angels sent from above to help me through my heartbreak.

“I swear you should change the band from Queen to Angels.”

“Darling the only angel among us is you” said Freddie as he gently stroked down my hair and planted a kiss at the top of my head before leaving the lounge room. Brian gave me a sideways comforting hug before kissing my temple, Deaky came up and kissed my cheek then Roger came up and kissed my other cheek before ruffling my hair messing it up to which I playfully shoved him making him chuckle.

Once the guys left me alone to begin their work, I sat there drinking my tea and snacking on as many sweets as I could. About 10-15minutes into just sitting around, I just knew I had to play a song, but not just any song. I was getting inspired to make my next song that I had in mind. So finding some paper and a pen and noticing one of Brian’s guitars still in the lunge room, probably from the last time he must’ve been in here to just do some strumming or whatever.

I knew he wouldn’t mind cause he offered that if anytime I wanted to play, I was allowed to use his guitars so long as I didn’t break them cause otherwise he’d curse me for eternity. I sat down on the floor and just did some strumming while I hummed trying to find the melody of my song first.

I tried about three different tunes until I finally found the right rhythm of the song. Then came the lyrics. Now as mentioned before I have written songs in the past but like with any song it’s not always easy but thanks to some of the tips that the boys have given me, I simply wrote what I was feeling down on the page.

The first and second verse came pretty easy to me but the chorus was where I started struggling with the most. I quietly strummed the rhythm to myself as I sang what I was thinking.

“I can finally see it’s not just your name. When you set it all fr—free. No, no that’s not it,” I scribbled out the first few lines of the chorus and tried it again. I then turned Brian’s guitar and played the tune again as I muttered the new lyrics this time, “When you set it all free, all free, all free. You set it all free”.

“(Y/n)?” I looked up to see Freddie standing by the door way. His eyes widened almost in shock as he just stared right at me. “Have you—been writing that song this whole time?”

“Well, not the whole time. I’ve only been just finished the first half of it in what—” I looked up at the clock to see that two hours have gone by since I started. “Two hours, wow that long? Is it bad?”

“‘Is it bad?’ Darling, it’s amazing! You have to sing it for us!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa Fred slow down. You know how I feel about singing, I can barely sing in front of you guys without almost having a breakdown.”

“No worries darling, we’ll work on that. Just show us what you’ve got so far, please I would really like to hear it.” He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes of his and I knew I couldn’t refuse.

“Alright” I groaned before he cheered and took my hand and dragged me back to the booth.

“My darlings, our little rock angel has been working on a song of her very own and I say we give it a listen to it.” The boys turned toward me and Deaky said.

“Is it true (y/n)?”

“Yeah I’ve uhh—it’s just something I thought would help me out with—you know.” At that moment, the boys dropped their things and sat in front of me anticipatingly like little children ready for a story from their teacher. I knew then I had no other choice.

I sat down at the couch in the correct posture and tuned Bri’s guitar to the right key and strummed a couple of times. I then began to sing as much of the song as I had ready singing the first two verses and then the chorus. Once I was done, I looked to the guys and they all now looked like profession record producers as they muttered and whispered to one another.

“It’s not complete yet and I know it still needs work but I just—”

“Quiet for a second darling, the adults are talking.” Freddie said as he held up his finger gesturing me to be quiet. They continued talking before nodding and standing up.

“Well (y/n), you were right there is a lot of work to be done with the song” Roger started off, “First of all it needs more than just a guitar, the first few lyrics should be introduced by drums, not strums of a guitar.”

“Secondly you’ll need a base to pick up rhythm of your melody on the guitar” John said.

“And of course the lyrics need more, plus some rewriting just a couple of the words.” Stated Brian.

“But this song will truly be a smash hit.” Finished Freddie. I smiled at them and we all then got to work.

For months I met up with the guys to work on the song, improve on the lyrics and hear the accompaniment they’ve come up with on how the song will sound all together. I then got gutsy and whenever I would record my guitar solo I had in mind for the song after one day in class, I played it for the guys and they all sat there in shock, even Brian, “The Guitar playing God” of Queen was blown away with what I had done.

Finally Queen was ready for their second tour. This time worldwide. We were about to tour everywhere from coast to coast of Europe, across America, to Rio, Japan, China and even Australia. Then one day just before our show in New York City, the Big Apple itself. I was backstage helping some of the crew set up for the show when Roger called for me to their dressing room.

I followed behind him and when I entered I saw the guys all sitting around looked dead at me. I was confused and asked them.

“What’s going on?”

“(Y/n), we’ve been talking and it’s time.” Brian said.

“Time for what?”

“In the middle of our set, we are going to introduce you and have you sing the song that we’ve helped you with.” Said Freddie.

Shock doesn’t even compare to what I was feeling.

“No I—I can’t this is…..I can’t sing out there. This is a Queen concert not a Queen featuring an unknown college girl who thinks she’s a singer. I can’t I won’t sorry wrong number I refuse!”

“But you can’t darling, you’ve got to finally show that wanker Adam that he hasn’t won in breaking your heart. Show him up on that stage that he didn’t break you down, that he didn’t get to you. Own that stage just as I do.” Freddie said as he placed his hands on my shoulders looking me right in the eye.

“Freddie I—what if I screw up? You know how I feel about big crowds and this—this show is sold out. I know I’ll choke. Why can’t you sing it?”

“Because this is your song darling, and I won’t take credit for a song that isn’t mine. Especially one that is personal to you”.

“And you won’t be alone up there love, you’ll have us backing you up.” Brian said as he came up to me. I looked at all four of them and they all looked like they really wanted me to do this. I sighed deeply and said.

“How long do I’ve got to get ready till showtime?” The boys all cheered and they all guided me towards the makeup room. The boys each had an idea of how I should look on stage and what my wardrobe should look like, for they didn’t want me to be a frilly princess cause they all knew I hated that, but they didn’t want me making a slut of myself.

So in the end, I was in long black jeans that flapped out at the ankles, a wore a dark grey patterned black shirt with a black leather jacket. My makeup was a basic base with a dash of sparkling blue eyeshadow and to add to my eye makeup, my eyes were given wings to make them really pop out. And to top it all off, Freddie had actually asked Mary to go by apartment and I was given Becky’s light grey flat cap.

I looked at myself in the mirror and almost couldn’t believe that this was really me. I twirled a bit of my long hair and said.

“This is so—scary.”

“Honey you never looked better,” Freddie said as he came up behind me and looked at me in the mirror. “Our little angel is ready to fly, and she is going to give those two arseholes a reason to fear her.” A knock was soon heard and the stage manager called out.

“Five minutes till curtain gentlemen.”

“Stay lose to the stage, we’ll give a proper introduction dear,” Fred kissed my cheek and the boys all filed out giving me either a nod or a gentle pat telling me all would be well.

The right at 8pm on the dot, the introduction of Bohemian Rhapsody began to play on stage and the crowd went nuts.

The boys gave the audience a well earned Queen show, singing all the favorites like “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Somebody to Love”, “Killer Queen”, “We Will Rock you” followed by “We Are the Champions”, and “Crazy Little thing called love” and “Another one bites the dust”.

It was then Freddie gave the crowd as well earned “Ay oh” which they all echoed back. He kept the audience on their feet with how quick he would sing the note or have them screaming when he would hold a note. At the end he proclaimed.

“Alright!” The crowd all cheered loudly. “Now ladies and gentlemen, this next song is gonna be something different. It’s written by a wonderful friend of ours, heck she’s an angel to us. But tonight, she will finally break out and we shall witness first hand of a future Rock Angel being born. So New York we’d like you to give a warm, Queen welcome to (y/n) (l/n)!” The crowd all cheered and I was practically frozen backstage.

I almost didn’t want to move but I took a deep breath and slowly walked out onto the stage adjusting Becky’s hat on my head with my head held high and the guitar in my hands.

The audience cheered louder as I came up on stage and Freddie turned to me and embraced me and I somehow heard him say through the screaming crowd.

“Own the stage darling, we’re right behind you.” I then walked up center stage up to the mic that Fred had adjusted to my size. Even though I couldn’t see the audience, I knew what the stage’s size was and had seen all the seats before showtime and I already had pictured in my mind that all of them were filled and they were all looking right up at me.

I turned to Freddie and he mouthed to me.

‘Breathe.’ I took a big shaky breath in and exhaled out as I closed my eyes before opening them once more. I turned towards Brian, Rog and John and they all nodded to me.

I adjusted the guitar in my hands and had everything plugged in thanks to the team and I took my right foot and slammed it down on the stage.

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Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Like a heartbeat.

Roger then accompanied me with the drums and I turned to see Brian, Fred and John clapping their hands in the air to get the audience to clap along. Soon thousands of people were clapping in unison as I began my song.

*Me (Queen)*

I followed my heart into the fire Got burned, got broken down by desire I tried, I tried but the smoke in my eyes Left me blurry, blurry and blind

John and I soon picked up the accompaniment with the guitar and base. I turned towards Fred who stood at the piano and he gave me a confident nod before allowing me to take the stage for a while. I then turned the volume up on my guitar and once the chorus hit I just let go.

I picked all the pieces up off the ground I've burned all my fingers but that's gone now Got the glue in my hands

I'm stickin' to the plan Stickin' to the plan that says

"I can do anything at all” I can do anything at all

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down gonna let it all up Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big hello 'Cause I'm giving, never letting go I can finally see, it's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh)

Feeling more confident, I then took off Becky’s hat and tossed it into the audience and I continued the song. My boys backed me up on the vocals but for the main singing, they left it all to me.

I was a girl caught under your thumb But my star's gonna shine brighter than your sun And I will reach so high (so high), Shoot so far (shoot so far) (She’s) Gonna hit, gonna hit, hit every target

Make it count this time I will make it count this time

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down I'm gonna let it all out Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big hello 'Cause I'm here and never letting go I can finally see, It's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh)

It was then Brian and I doubled out on our guitar duets. But when the moment came for me to explode on the guitar solo I had in mind, Brian allowed me the chance to shine so that he wouldn’t upstage me (like I mentioned, even he feared me at this solo).

I then sang in acapella for a brief moment letting my sorrow take over for a brief second but refused to shed anymore tears as Roger came back up with the drums and the rest of the boys followed behind me as we finished the song.

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down I'm gonna let it all out Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big "hello" 'Cause I'm here and never letting go I can finally see, It's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free

I slid across the stage on my knees as I just allowed my final solo to take over and then die down. I was so overcome with the adrenaline the entire stage was almost silent to me. But when I began to recover, I could hear stadium cheers of a real Queen audience, only they weren’t cheering for Queen.

The roar of applause was for me.

I couldn’t even get up as I was overcome with emotion lowering my head and sobbing tears of happiness. I was soon lifted by Brian and engulfed into a group hug by my four boys.

“Didn’t I tell you all? We just witnessed the birth of a true Rock Angel! Give it up one more time for (y/n) everybody!” Freddie proclaimed into the microphone. I waved to the audience and raced backstage.

After the second half of the concert was done and our trip to New York was over, the boys came piling into the dressing room where I was recuperating after my performance and I was once again tackled into a group hug of them all piling up on the couch and hugged the hell out of me.

“Oh darling you were amazing out there!”

“You were fantastic!”

“You are a Rockstar now love, welcome to the club!”

All their praises made me feel so good in side and made me forget all about my heartbreak.

“I say this calls for a celebration!” Proclaimed Freddie. He then took out the champagne and poured into five glasses and we each took a glass and Freddie toasted, “To our lovely and sweet angel (y/n). Who proved today that heartbreak is never the end. You prevail through it and become one beautiful, shining star in the heavens. To (y/n)!”

“To (y/n)!” The boys praised as they toasted to me. I lightly clanged my glasses to them and I added.

“But none of this would’ve been possible without you guys giving me the confidence to get on that stage.”

“No love, that was all you. We didn’t do a damn thing.” I smiled at them and we continued the celebration long into the night.

*Extended ending*

It was another several months after and Roger and I spent the day together. He was actually helping me move into a nearby flat that was right around the corner of where he and his wife were currently living that was up for sale.

After helping me move in, we had lunch together and that’s when someone tapped my shoulder so I lowered my sunglasses and saw Adam standing over me.

“Hey (y/n).” he said quietly.

“Adam.” At his name Roger went to sit up but I took his wrist and held him back.

“Listen, I’ve been doing some thinking and I was a real wanker for bringing Becky into our flat and sleeping with her. I want you back baby, you’re my best girl the love of my life and I can’t live without you. Please will you take me back.”

Oh I knew exactly what kind of game he was playing. For you see shortly after my first concert with the band in New York, record companies left and right were trying to have a piece of me but I stuck close with my boys and had Miami be my record executive.

Currently now I am in the works of my first album and on a few songs I do have my boys featured with me. I was being paid big money while Adam here probably got dumped by Becky by the look of his unclean state and needed to be supported now, so he thinks he can crawl back to me and hope that I’ll forgive him for breaking my heart just so he can live off my well-earned money.

I put my shades back over my eyes and I said to him right in his face.

“You were. The way you turned your back on me after three years of a relationship that meant nothing to you but everything to me. You are worse than Paul if not up to his speed Adam. Which is why I am going to do to you what I should’ve done the very first day I met you in the University cafeteria.”

I then took my ice cold water that had just been refilled, took him by the loop of his pants and dumped the water down his pants. He cried out at the freezing cold on his balls while I took my pasta and dumped it all over his head and then topped him off with Roger’s pie to his face.

I didn’t even care if I had an audience watching me, he deserved to be humiliated just like he humiliated me.

“Tell Becky I said hi.” I sneered happily as I grabbed my jacket and walked away. I felt Roger’s arm go around my shoulder and he said.

“Couldn’t have done it better myself love, I’m so proud of you.”

“Really cause I can still feel my hands shaking.” We both laughed and he brought me close in a one armed hug as he kissed the top of my head and we headed back to my new flat.

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