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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Cruel Love 11

Words: 5,4k

Chapters:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

(Y/N's POV)

Waking up in the sunrise with San by my side is probably the best thing that has happened to me. Or maybe him driving with his hand on my tight, or maybe the long kiss he gave me while holding me tightly before leaving... Or maybe just San.

After last night is sure to say that I won't do this anymore and I'm most likely going to tell Irene to her face to fuck off. I've been driving for a few hours and the wind on my face feels so nice I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life, this feeling inside me is so fresh and nice and I like it so much.

I stop in front of my old building. It's been a really long time since the last time I saw this place. But I'm not undercover anymore so why should I keep sleeping in my car in the dark and cold streets?

The boss-like feeling inside me made me shoot a dirty look back to the lady who always yells at me whenever she sees me. So dirty that it made me feel bad and I immediately snap out of it.

"Y/N is been a long time since we saw you around here, where have you been, you went on vacation?" She says and I'm a little taken aback her voice sounds so docile and sort of kind, completely different to how she always speaks to me.

"Something like that" I'm about to leave to the elevator but she stops me.

"Actually you know how the mailman always messes up, I got your mail" Before I get to say anything she grabs my arm and pulls me to the elevator with her. "You look different, your vacation came in a great moment, you always look so shy and tired and people always look down on you because of that, besides oh God that expression of yours like you're so innocent and you don't know what's going on" She points her finger at my face. This is so sudden but this lady is always like this so I can't really say that I'm surprised "it drives all of us here crazy" The elevator opens and we walk to her apartment.

"Can I just get my mail I have things to do" She looks offended at my words like I'm the one saying hurtful things to her.

"No, no wait that's exactly what I'm saying, you don't look like that anymore you even looked intimidating when I saw you in the lobby" I wait for her and she comes back with my stuff.

"Just to let you know I'm not even that shy I probably looked tired because I work all the time but that's irrelevant it's just that… I don't like you" Her eyes go wide open but in my defence she started this "And I was right, ma'am you're so judgemental just because I looked shy or have an expression on my face is that enough to look down on me? You should go out or something and thanks for handing me my mail" I turn around "And have a nice day"

I'm actually in a good mood thanks to San, if I had been mad I would've probably said worse but I'm not gonna let this woman ruin my whole day.

I opened the door of my apartment and I almost shed tears. I missed this place so much, it's tiny but this apartment marked a new beginning for me years ago and since then it has been my safe place and my own little corner. I immediately run to my room and jump on the bed and hug my pillows. "Ah" The warmth of my bed makes me feel kind of sleepy, making my head and eyes get somewhat heavier but I don't think I'll fall asleep, I'm not tired at all.

...

An unknown noise startles me, making me wake up abruptly, completely confused, I rub my eyes looking at my surroundings "I can't believe I actually fell asleep" There's that sound again but now fully awake I realise that it comes from the kitchen. I grab the gun from my nightstand and head slowly to the kitchen watching every step making sure I don't make any sound, the lights are all on but I remember keeping all of them off, the noises and steps become more intense, there's definitely someone on my fucking home but they picked the wrong day. My hand is on the doorknob leading to the kitchen, I gulp one last time before opening the door, but a wave of braveness hits me and I end up opening it all at once with a kick. I gasp at the sight of the person standing in front of me.

"You" We both yell while pointing at each other

"What the hell are you doing here"

"I asked first"

"Stop saying exactly what I'm saying"

"You first"

"What do you mean with what the hell are you doing here this is literally my apartment" I say while I lower my gun "Dylan you know how I am I could've killed you, what if I had acted before thinking and you were dead right fucking now how could I even explain that to your boyfriend? Huh? Do you remember what he works on? He's a forensic pathologist he can easily kill me and just said that I died of natural causes and don't even get me started on your mom–"

"Are you a rapper or something, I barely understood what you said" He says and I get my gun back in position "Okay okay drop that, I'm sorry for scaring you I'll explain just sit and relax I'm making rice"

"You came here to make rice" I ask while I rest my head on my hands "Seriously?"

"No, the rice was just extra I just been coming here lately and before you ask why because there's that annoyed furrow of yours and you're clearly thinking that I'm a clown but let me elaborate the doorman already knows me because he has always thought that we're dating right" I nod confused since I don't know where this is going "Well I've been taking advantage of that and coming here every now and then to escape from my home"

"You have problems with your boyfriend" I ask, his story is just not making any sense to me

"Oh god no never, it's just the case I've been into I had files and pictures of dead bodies and other stuff and that's where the problem started, you know Kai doesn't care about that at all but my mother in law is staying with us for a while and she isn't really fond of you know graphic pictures and she has been yelling at me for the past weeks, you know how she doesn't even like me because she thinks I made her son gay or something so just imagine how she's been lately"

I don't say anything I should've known honestly, with Dylan is always silly stuff like this, he serves the rice and I just stare and the plate in front of me.

"So when you said rice you meant only rice" I pout with a dramatic pain in my heart. I'm really hungry and I really wanted something bigger.

"Well I didn't know I was gonna have company" He starts eating "Hold on I already told you why I'm here but why are you here? what happened to Let's follow the FBI's rules" He makes an irritating voice, clearly mocking me.

"Well it's sort of like… a long story…" I scratch the back of my neck avoiding his eyes.

"Spit it"

"I… I won't work on this case anymore" I murmur hoping he doesn't catch my words.

"Oh my gosh Y/N" I keep avoiding his eyes he's probably mad he's gonna yell and report me "You like him don't you I'm so proud of you"

"Wait what?" I was definitely expecting a different reaction.

"I was suspicious honestly, the last time I saw you you had a different glow in your eyes, I mean you've always had one since we've met I knew you were special right away but this one glow this one sparkle was different"

"Aren't you a detective too I'm basically siding with a criminal"

"Well yeah but I can't get in the middle of love" I push his shoulder I can't believe he just said those cringy words "Besides you know how I do my job to help people, not to help the government, I'll serve breakfast to the lady who always yells at us before I serve this country" He finishes his rice and opens a can of beer "Also you're my fucking best friend Y/N come on even if you were a criminal yourself I can't just ignore our years of friendship you were the first person who didn't judge my bisexuality, not even my family was okay with that my father doesn't even know yet but you always greeted me with a smile even when I introduced you to my boyfriend. I would never do something against you." He takes a pause and pats my head "I talk a lot don't I? My point is you're like a sister to me and if Choi San is who you want to be with who am I to stop you? If he's the one you're happy with then I'll be happy too"

I try to hold my tears but it's a total failure, I look away trying to hide them, I'm so thankful I have Dylan in my life and I really can't believe after this he is still taking my side.

"I thought you were playing, are you really crying?" He asks and I bury my face on my crossed arms "Okay no don't cry I take it back I'll report you if you want but please stop crying"

"Shut up I'm not crying" I discreetly wiped my tears while I had my face on my arms "I was just thinking if I should teach how to make rice, your rice is awful"

"I'm with you" He sounds so sincere he's the best best friend I could ever ask for.

"Thank you"

We move from the kitchen to the living room where he had a lot of files scattered on the table in front of the couch but he clearly doesn't want to talk about the case at least for now.

"I have plenty of questions right now but before that I'm so happy you finally have someone, first of all I've always told you to date and you've always refused because you're not interested and blah blah blah but the thing is I'm heavily wondering what kind of things he did for you to like him and open up I better than anyone know that you're really hard to approach"

"Well… It's… I don't even know he's just…" I can't seem to find the right words of why I like San "It wasn't his incredibly handsome face or the way he showed off his wealth. It was I think, the way he looked at me, the kindness in his eyes or maybe the way he made me laugh or… I don't know, also you know I always get like zero hours of sleep"

"Yeah because of your nightmares right?"

"Well the nightmares are gone and I'm pretty sure it's because of him, and that's another reason I guess, it felt like the universe was on my side for once and I think that's it… I don't even how it happened in a certain moment I just realised that I fell for him"

He chokes on his saliva and starts coughing like crazy, I give him strong but gentle pats on his back and he recovers his breath "So it's not only a liking thing you're in love" He says and the confusion hits my spirit.

"What?"

"You said you fell for him" Did I?

"No I didn't say that"

"You're in love with Choi San" He says louder than he should

"Shut up"

"You love him you love him" He sings, annoyed I throw him the cushion I had on my legs and he stops "But what are you going to do? Are you going to tell him the truth or?"

I freeze for a moment, I didn't think about that before "I will" How? I don't know, will he get mad? probably, but he deserves to know.

"From a man point of view you should tell him right away, if you wait more it's gonna be worse"

"I will, tonight actually I guess but for now can we talk about something else? For example how I was a suspect of murder"

"You killed someone?" He yells alarmed and I laugh.

"Of course not" I grab one of the cushions and hug it "That was actually after the last time I saw you Irene showed up with another two cops and I was handcuffed and everything, it's a long story but the thing is, is that I was the only suspect and for that they wanted to imprison me on the spot but Irene made a deal and I got out but as soon as I was done with San's case I was gonna loose my credibility as a detective and get fired because a detective and suspect of murder is not a great combo and it would bring a bad image to our department"

"This isn't making any sense, they had to get that to the court instead, and also you should've called me did they give you a right to a phone call?" He asks and I shake my head "This was so rushed Irene should've managed this in a different way"

"I know that's what I thought but since I was undercover I guess it was to bring the less attention possible" I leave the couch to sit on the floor and read some of the papers from the table.

"Leave that I'd rather not talk to you on this matter" I ignore what he says and I keep flipping the pages "Leave that just let's talk about your fake job or something"

"The bastard from my old case murdered twenty seven people again?" I hold the bridge of my nose and I try not to lose it.

"That's why I didn't want you to see it" He snatches the files from my hands before I get to see more details.

"I wanted to catch this motherfucker before he killed more people" He looks at me with his puppy eyes, he probably thinks I'm mad at him but that's not it right now. "Was it the same pattern?"

He sighs and hands me the files again "Not really, previously he just killed them and left messages like… carved on their bodies but this time, Kai examined the bodies and he said whoever did that didn't touch their heart for a moment, they were tortured this time"

"The message was the same? I ask

"Yes, you can see some of the pictures there, it was the same"

I Miss You So Much Please Come Back To Me I'll Take You On dates And Bring You Flowers Stupid Whore Can't You See I Love You?

Each word on each body, this is saddening, I know there's evil in this world but whoever is doing this, is sick on the head and if I get the chance I'll kill them myself the same way they did to these people.

"We'll catch them" He says while getting up and collecting his stuff. "But for now you better think what you're gonna say to your man"

I nod and I get up to walk him to the door, before he leaves I give him my number so he can tell me beforehand when he's coming so we don't get as surprised as today, he hugs me goodbye and I stare at his back and his coconut hair for too long as he walks away, please take care.

I sit on the couch hugging my legs, the more I think I really don't know how to tell San the truth I take a glance at the clock, 5pm, he might be at the bar tonight with Wooyoung, I'll be there so I can quit, say goodbye to Lucy and meet him and go to another place to talk.

I get in the shower, but I can't even think properly, if he gets mad or lied to I'll understand, I might have faked my lifestyle but I have to let him know that my feelings towards him are one hundred percent real as well as the things I said of my past. But if this comes to an end I don't know how or if I'll be able to handle it. The idea of San being rightfully mad at me or even sad immediately makes me cry, I don't wanna break his heart.

I get out of the bathroom, to sit on the edge of my bed. I feel like I'm losing my breath, my hands are shaking and I feel on the verge of tears again. I can do this, I can totally do this, I repeat it as many times as I can to actually believe my own words.

My phone starts ringing, my nerves are over the top and the sudden sound makes me jump. It's just my alarm, It's time to work! c: Shows on the screen. I blow my nose, wash my face with cold water and take a deep breath, I can do this, I've had enough of being nervous, I have to let him know that my feelings are real, no matter the outcome.

I change my clothes, I put on a white and soft romper I bought last year, I do my makeup with a heavy breathing and a little rushed to my liking and I'm ready to leave. I head to the elevator, I hold my chest in an attempt to calm myself down, this is the moment that can define everything.

I drive with the windows down at a fast speed and the radio is playing angry songs, the type of songs that make you feel like you can go to war and defeat everyone that gets on your way. And it's just perfect in this situation, I can do this. My phone starts ringing but whoever was on the other side just let it ring once and gave up. I'll check later who it was. Before I notice I'm already in front of the bar the tiny small percentage of confidence I had goes a couple of numbers down. I feel my palms sweating already and my legs are going to tremble as soon as I get out of the car for sure.

I walk into the bar but to my surprise the place is empty and I can't help but laugh internally what's going on? I see one of the girls who work here coming downstairs with empty bottles of champagne, she looks at me and sees my confused face.

"You're finally here our boss has been asking for you the last couple of hours, it's the special event remember?" I totally forgot about that but I don't really care after all I came here just to find San.

"Why is this place empty then?" I ask while she grabs brand new bottles of expensive liquor.

"We hold special events on the second floor. It's even more fancier than this one so our boss likes to go all out" She guides me up and I just say a small thank you before she disappears between all the people here. I definitely see a lot of familiar people, regulars and only the people who spend thousands of thousands on the daily. I look for San but he isn't around.

"Looking for someone princess?" I feel his warm voice on my neck and my anxiety just increases.

I don't say anything I just kiss him I don't care if it's not allowed to do this outside the VIP rooms I need to feel his lips against mine I even allow myself to bite his lip for I don't what's going to happen this could be our last kiss and I want to make it last. I step away and he looks surprised but happy "I was looking for you actually, can we go and talk somewhere else?"

"It sounds important let me just tell Wooyoung we're leaving and I'm all yours" We go downstairs together and he walks to the VIP rooms to look for his friend. I stay there in the empty bar waiting for San and suddenly I hear footsteps approaching me, that was faster than I thought.

But the disappointment comes to me when I see my fake boss in front of me "Y/N what a relief you're here I have someone I want you to meet"

"No no I'm already leaving but now that I see you uh… I'm quitting" I say firmly but he doesn't even look like he was paying attention to me and pulls me from my wrist and starts walking to his office.

"You can't leave, that night when Mister Choi San paid for you, that was the biggest amount of money we've got you're a goldmine I can't let you go" I tried to let go of his hold but the more I fight the more strength he uses. "Besides you have to meet my brother and do all he wants tonight, we have rules but tonight those don't count if he tells you to get on your knees and bark, you have to do it or else you'll see what happens"

He opens the door of his office and all I see is a man with Lucy on his legs, the man is kissing her neck, making it hard to see his face by the way she talked to me about this man, I just know that Lucy is surely dying inside of pure disgust.

"Mike leave that bitch for a second I want you to meet my golden girl" My fake boss says and I finally let go of his hold as I hear him calling Lucy a bitch. "We ran out of champagne let me bring some more you two get to know each other"

I tried to leave with him but he locked the door and I'm left with my friend and a pig. He didn't let go of Lucy for a moment and I still can't see his face, I smell some cheap yet strong cologne and also the liquor I just want to grab Lucy's hand and run she wants to leave as much as I do, she usually puts on a sexy smile while talking and flirting with clients no matter how they look or how they treat her but seeing her face right now it's obvious that all she wants to do is kick him in the balls and leave.

I turn around to face the door and just wait for my fake boss to return so I can run as soon as he opens it.

"Didn't you catch the signs from your superior you're supposed to respect me you rude bitch" My heart stops beating and the temperature leaves my body . That voice… it can't be.

13 YEARS AGO

The sun is so bright today and the sky is so clear, I'm getting taller and I think I look pretty nowadays, someone may adopt me today, I have to behave properly so I can finally be in a family.

"Y/N come here for a moment" I hear Mr. Michael calling for me but maybe if I act like I didn't hear him he might leave me alone. "You brat if you don't come here I'm going to use my belt again" That was a bad sign I got up from the grass and walk towards him, I definitely don't want the same thing that happened yesterday and the day after I still have bruises on my legs.

"Good morning Mr. Michael'' I look down at my feet, it doesn't matter how many years I have spent here, I still don't get used to his devilish stare.

"I see you decided to dress up today, I assume you know what day it is, right?" I nod and he starts laughing, I hate that laugh, other kids laugh when he does it, but to me that's the worst sound there is.

"Yes today is adoption day, who knows… Today might be my day" He laughs even more and pats my head but his hand is so heavy I wish he could stop, I feel uncomfortable as soon as I feel him near me.

"Y/N you're so naive or should I say stupid? I told you you're gonna be here forever and as soon as you reach eighteen you'll see…"

I ran to the music room, he's going to use the belt later on for letting him alone, but I'm just so sad why the other kids get to be in a family except for me? I… don't deserve one? I behave just as good as the others, my grades are as good as the others, what is wrong with me? I think I deserve to be happy too. I close the door of the music room and I realise there's someone hiding from me behind the piano I probably scared them.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you, go ahead and keep playing" I wipe my tears and I open the door again to leave but a shy voice behind the piano stops me.

"No it's not that it's just that I get embarrassed when I play in front of others my mom says musicians shouldn't get shy while playing but I just can't help it" That voice sounds so kind I don't think I know this boy, the other kids run away from me because they think I bring bad luck but I can't blame them though.

"What if I hide behind the desk, you won't see me and you won't get shy" Before he says anything I sit on the floor hiding behind the desk. "Now you can keep playing"

"My mom said to not get involved in other people's problems but I think I saw you crying, I'll play for you a song I'm working on so you won't be sad anymore"

Today

I felt a single tear down my cheek, I'd recognise that voice everywhere the man who tormented my childhood is here, the man who met me when I was five years old and was waiting for me to reach the age of eighteen for whatever sick reasons is now behind me, I thought I could run from my problems as I did when I was little, always running away to cry in peace to find even the smallest seconds of comfort, like the time I ran away and little boy comforted me and played the piano just for me to make me feel better. I'm sick of that. I'm sick of running away from my problems. I wipe my tears and I turn around to face him, he looks way older now the last time I saw I was only seventeen, he has gray hair now and wrinkles around his eyes. He gets surprised when he sees me but sooner he smiles with his horrible and disgusting yellow teeth.

"You should've stay in the orphanage you'd be my wife enjoying my wealth, but look at you now you're a filthy whore" He holds my neck pressing me strongly against the door "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, I want you to get on your fucking knees and suck my dick"

Lucy rushes to us and I just wish she could mind her business right now I don't want her involved in this "Sir, she's new, all the time we get complaints from clients because she doesn't really know how to do it I'll do it instead" He laughs and slams my head against the hard door I fall on the floor from the pain.

"Why? you can both do it if that's what you want or Y/N sweetheart are you still mad at me after all these years? You know, there was never nothing wrong with you, you thought there was and because of that nobody wanted you but in fact a lot of parents wanted to adopt you, but I always told them that other parents we're filling the forms of adoption to get them to pick another child so you could stay there, I told you I was saving you for myself" In another moment that would've been the last straw but right now that's what he wants and I won't give him the satisfaction.

"Sir let's just go to another room we were better on our own" Lucy gets in the middle once again but this time he pulls her hair and pushes her to the floor, she cries out of pain, in the corner of my eye I see her checking her head and when I see her hand with blood… That was the last straw.

"You got me all wrong, I'm not a sex worker and if I was there's nothing wrong with that, but I guess I can't expect much from you, I'm a detective" I push his shoulders and he looks startled "I can accept you fucking up my childhood and coming back and try to ruin my life once again but this" I point at Lucy on the floor "You just messed with my friend and as you said you don't know how long I've been waiting for this"

San's POV

I peep a look at her, this is the first time I see her wearing white she looks as beautiful as ever, but I can't stop thinking about that kiss, it didn't feel like the others, while holding her soft hand I notice that she's trembling which is making me upset, she might be worried about something but I hope she feels free to talk to me about whatever is going through her head. I give her a peck on her forehead and leave to look for Wooyoung, I want to do this as fast as possible if she's indeed worried about something I don't wanna be apart from her for too long.

I keep on knocking on the wrong doors, and all I get is men repeatedly yelling you wanna die? but retract from their statement as soon as they see my face, naturally. I get to the last room and I finally find a shirtless Wooyoung on the other side.

"Busy?" I ask and he tries to close the door on my face but I'm hand is faster.

"Be quick"

"Y/N wants to leave I'll see you at home" He looks fed up with my words.

"You interrupted me just to say that? You bastard—" A sudden scream comes from the other corridor, a petrifying scream that sends shivers down my spine. And I feel like the world stopped for a moment but I quickly came back to my senses and ran to get to her.

The only door here is the office of the owner. I don't hear any sound and it makes me wonder if there actually was someone screaming here, but I didn't see my princess where I left her and I just want to make sure she is safe.

I kick the door three times till it's broken and that image… She's on her knees with a broken bottle in her hand, expressionless just staring into space and shaking, her white clothes are now a bright red and my eyes move to the lifeless man in front of her. What the hell happened here.

I rush to her but she doesn't even look at me, I wish she was screaming or crying but it's like she isn't even present. I notice another girl here who is holding her chest and crying desperately "Tell me what the fuck is going on"

"I… he said horrible things about her… she was just a little kid" She can't make a full sentence without breaking down, but that's enough for me to understand what happened.

"Princess look at me" I carefully hold her face but she doesn't meet my eyes "I'll handle this, this isn't your fault alright? everything's going to be fine you're gonna be okay"

꧁Tags꧂

@rae-wo0 @jacksonbbygal @san-hoe @21shotglasses @lanbeibei @xxhzxqhxx @seoultraveller @cutieeariiss @yutacchin @deeppastawobblerbat @loonalovey @sanhwajoong @steeznbebe

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Heeey I'm updating Cruel Love very soon if anyone else wants to be tagged please let me know 🥰

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Note

I started reading about your mafia San on my other blog but now I am so happy that I found you on this one!!! Also, if it's still your birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Oh really? Thank you so much for reading 🥺 And it was the 17th but still thank you!!! ❤️💕

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Note

Happy birthday! I hope you enjoy your special day and it's everything you want and more~ 💖💕💓💗❤💚💜💙💛

Thank you so much! 💕❤️

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Hi, it's my birthday

#👉👈

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Cruel Love (10)

Words: 3,5

Chapters:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

(Y/N’s POV)

I have to admit at first I didn’t want to drive, I’m a terrible driver my car and the FBI’s car had a lot of scratches everywhere and I didn’t want to leave San’s car the same way something tells me he wouldn’t care but I anyways drove as best as I could but keeping it that way was hard since I could feel San’s deep stare while driving, it was definitely making me blush and giving me a thousand thoughts but I tried to ignore it for as long as I could.

“You know you’re not supposed to distract the driver right?” I say with a smile, without taking my eyes off the road.

“I’m not doing anything” He teased

“You’re staring at me”

“I just think you look gorgeous with my hoodie”

I unglued my eyes from the road to look down at my body, shit I forgot I’m wearing his hoodie. “I’m sorry I kept wearing it” He laughs and I chuckle, he sounds more relaxed now but not completely.

“You don’t have to apologise to me” There’s a red light and I take advantage of that to look at him “Like ever”

San is so sweet and I can’t help but feel like shit, my initial idea was doing something good for him to release the noticeable stress he was carrying on his shoulders but while driving I got the stupid idea of taking him to the FBI and forget this beautiful fantasy ever happened. I hated myself for having that second idea so I pushed it back, really back on my mind and threw it in a trash can. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to give Irene all the updates but for now I don’t want to think about that. The light changes back to green and I get back to driving.

“You look tense princess” He says with a frown.

“Is it that obvious oh god” I ask while I touch my cheek as I feel it warming up “I’m a terrible driver” I confess ashamed.

“You’re doing great” I snicker shyly. Anyone else in the world would get nervous if the designated driver suddenly admits they’re bad at driving, why is he so calmed?

“I guess you haven’t seen my car” I say while looking at him for half a second and get my eyes back on the road immediately “But it’s okay we’re almost there"

"We can play some music and maybe that’ll relax you” I’m hesitant, I think music distracts me even more but San’s hand is already turning on his radio.

“It’s all about finding the right song” The first seconds of around twelve songs passed but none of those convinced him he was about to give up and turn it back off but then he stopped in one and smiled at me “This one is perfect”

“The Beach Boys?” Wouldn’t it be nice was playing, in the corner of my eye I saw him and he looked pleased.

“Yeah why not” He playfully asks “We can sing it together”

“What?” My eyes go wide open along with a smile “You don’t wanna hear me singing”

“It’s only for relaxing purposes princess and wouldn’t it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?” He starts singing and I listen in awe, he had to be sweet, caring, handsome and have a gorgeous voice didn’t he? “Come on this is a classic I know you know the lyrics”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake up in the morning when the day is new? And after having spent the day together” I stop singing and laugh embarrassed “I can’t but you keep going”

“What? You sound perfect princess” He replies “Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray It might come true”

He keeps singing and clapping his hands and I actually pay attention to the song and I can help but feel upset a sigh leaves my body wouldn’t it be nice if I had met San under different circumstances. I stop the car abruptly and he looks at me surprised and confused.

“I need you to cover your eyes” I say softly he looks at me with squinted eyes but does as I say.

I drive just a little bit more and he grows impatient, are we there yet? He keeps asking and I keep saying no I have to admit he sounds… Adorable.

It looks like it didn’t rain around here and that’s a relief my plan would’ve been ruined a little if it had.

“Okay we’re here but don’t uncover your eyes yet” I say and I undo both of our seat belts.

I get out of the car and a nice breeze of fresh air hits me, this is one of my favourite places so I really hope he likes this. I open San’s door and I walk behind him covering his eyes so he doesn’t cheat.

“Okay here it is” I remove my hands from his eyes and he gasps.

“The ocean?” He looks around completely amazed.

“Yeah but that isn’t all the beauty of this place look up” San does as I say and he looks like an excited child and I smile at the sight of the stars reflected in his eyes “There aren’t buildings around here and as you can see it’s pretty dark and because of that the stars are more visible. And well you see, a sweet and handsome man once told me that after an orgasm you’re supposed to see the stars but I didn’t bring you here to have sex but I still wanted you to see the stars” He looks back at me and a soft smile grows in his face making his eyes slowly desapear.

“How do you do that princess” A confused expression shows on my face.

“Do what?”

“Make my heart flutter”

I felt shivers down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. San you make my heart flutter as well I thought to myself. If someone had told me that I would be feeling this way towards San when I had just started this case I would’ve probably laughed hysterically, and if someone had told me years ago that a man was going to look at me with such tenderness in his eyes and hold me and protect me like I’m the most precious diamond on earth I probably would’ve been sad and mad at them for making such jokes.

“There’s something I want to know princess” He lays his long black coat on the sand for us to sit “I just told you I’m the leader of a big Mafia aren’t you scared or curious about it, you look so calmed”

“Well yeah I’m a little curious, but when you told me about it it sounded like you were nervous about it I don’t wanna push you or something we have plenty of time” He looks touched at my words

“We can talk about it, I trust you enough, ask away”

To be honest I didn’t want more details, the more details I had the more details Irene had. But San wanted to talk about it and changing the conversation would be plain rude.

“How did it started” I say quietly

He sighs but doesn’t look bothered by my question “I didn’t build it on my own, I had a friend and we both worked as hitmen for his grandfather, I started getting closer with him and soon he considered me his grandson too and his right hand, I stopped being just a hitman to be involved in all the things he did as well” he takes a pause to look at me “But then age started doing things to him, he realised that he couldn’t work anymore and he left the big empire he created to the person he trusted the more, at that time we all thought it would be his grandson but he gave it to me”

“Did he die” I ask

“No, he’s still alive but he doesn’t remember a thing I think he still recognises some people but not so much” He says and his voice sounds sad I guess that man is someone San looked up to.

“But please don’t think bad of me princess, I know I was a hitman but I only killed bad people, real criminals, I always did my research and I never killed innocent people—”

I cut him off by placing one of my fingers on his lips I give him a quick smile and I rest my head on his shoulder while holding is hand “You really don’t have to explain that to me” I feel his shoulder relaxing as I let out those words “And what happened after that, it must have been a lot of pressure for you”

“It was, especially since my friend got really mad at me after his grandfather picked me and not him and that’s understandable but I had no control over that, I told him we could work together and make it even bigger but he left and made his own businesses” He rests his head on mine and sighs “After that Wooyoung, Seonghwa and Hongjoong joined me I felt bad since we were long time friends and I knew they had different plans for their lives but I needed men I could trust and they needed money so we worked together, later on Yunho, Mingi, Yeosang and Jongho joined, and we build it even bigger we got deals not only here but outside the country too, like Japan, Italy, Colombia, Mexico and many more and deals with politicians as well, I have control pretty much on everything around here and outside, my old man was scared to get this out of the country but we’re careful with everything we do and it has been going well so far”

I’m left without words, knowing all of this I think I can see and understand what I thought it was his dark side. He has this job not because he wanted to but because someone trusted him. Yeah he killed people but he only killed bad people, while being a detective I’ve known cops and judges who have killed or imprisoned good and innocent people and those cops and judges don’t get the punishment they deserve all because of their high positions those people are the real criminals.

“You still don’t look slightly concerned or scared” He saids and pulls me out of my thoughts.

“You want me to be scared of you?” He laughs as he shakes his head.

“No, I just expected a different reaction”

“It’s because I don’t have or had the best lifestyle and I don’t think I’m in the place to judge you or be scared of you”

“Being a sex worker isn’t something to be ashamed of princess” I wasn’t talking about that, or me being a detective.

“It’s not that, and I’m not ashamed about being a prostitute, I was talking about my past, I think I’ve killed a man” I take a second to process why I said it and why I said it as if it was nothing.

“You think?” He looks confused.

I don’t understand why but I keep going “Do you remember I told you about me being homeless for some time” He nods “And then how a man found me, I lived with him only for a few months, but it felt like an eternity at first I thought I was in love with him he took care of me and paid for my food and other stuff but” I start trembling a little but I force myself to endure it and stop “When I saw myself in the mirror and I finally noticed all the bruises I had I realised that that wasn’t love and I had to leave that place or else I’d end up dead” His chin trembled like he’s holding back tears and that pained my heart “One night I got him drunk really drunk, when he passed out in his room I set the place on fire and I locked all the doors so he couldn’t escape and I ran as fast as possible, so fast and so much that I ended up right here, I cried so much but it felt like a cry of victory not of sadness, I stayed here till the sunrise this place made me feel safe and at peace it became my secret and favourite spot” I sigh “I never went back or tried to find out if he died or survived, I survived and nothing else mattered”

The wind and waves is the only sound, he pulls me into his lap and I wrap my legs around his waist resting my arms on his shoulders. He’s lost at words just as I was after he talked about his life.

“You don’t have to carry that on your own any longer” He said while holding my cheek and he was right, I think at this point he already knows almost everything about me and it felt so relieving letting out all the secrets I held on my own for so long, it felt liberating.

“I just told you that I think I’ve killed a man but you don’t look scared of me Sannie” His sad puppy expression changes into a small smile.

I rest on my back with my legs still wrapped around San bringing him down with me, I give him a quick kiss and as I saw him and his sparkling eyes, his dimples, his gentle touch and my heart out of control I realised something. I like him… so much, and I don’t want to keep this going fuck Irene and this mission she and the FBI can go and fuck themselves, this is the only good and real thing that has happened in my entire life and I don’t want it to end, even if I end up in jail for not following my contract I won’t do this to San he doesn’t deserve this.

“What are you thinking princess?” He asks suddenly bringing me back

“Choi San I think I like you too” His eyes go wide open and his jaw drops, he gets up from our hold and he looks like he cannot believe what I just said, he points his index finger at himself and a soft almost inaudible me? leaves his lips. “Yes you, I like you”

He runs towards the ocean with his arms open “She likes me back” He yells with happiness and excitement as the waves touch him. I run to him and I jump onto his torso, he catches me and our bodies fit so well, Lucy was right and I finally found the missing piece of my puzzle. “Princess with those words you just made me the happiest man on earth” He kisses me, slowly, his hands are on my tights lifting me and I want to stay this close for longer. His lips feel so good pressed against mine, his tongue feels so good dancing with mine.

He walks back to our spot, with me still in his arms, the moonlight covering and protecting us, this doesn’t feel like the beginning criminal and undercover detective, right now this is just us, simply as that. I lie on San’s coat him by my side, he shifts his body to lie on his side, I cup his cheek bringing him closer to me I leave a kiss on his lips a long lasting one and move on to his neck.

“Don’t do that princess or else we’ll end up fucking right here” I laugh at his words

“That’s the point” A sensual grin appears on his face, I want to feel his touch and he understands my begging eyes, his wet hair drips water droplets onto my face. He kisses me rough and I can’t understand how just a kiss gets me on fire, I feel my entire body burning. He brings his hand to my neck and trails it down down the valley of my breasts, down my stomach just with his fingertips until he stops, he lifts my dress up and I no longer feel exposed or shy in front of him.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He goes back to kissing me and his hand back to my stomach right above my underwear. His touch is so slow but he knows exactly what he’s doing. His hand reaches into my panties, and a soft moan comes from my lips and I feel him smiling between our kiss. His fingers move a little “You’re so wet princess, you feel so good” he says as I moan “I love that sound princess moan for me” His fingers go faster, I feel like I’m gonna explode my hands travel to his neck and to his hair, his fingers still inside me going in circles, I bring him closer to me kissing and leaving a mark on his neck, he groans, it’s like music to my ears. “I can’t get enough of you, y/n” it’s been a long time since he called me by my name, his voice sounds raspy and deeper, filled with lust. it sounds so hot when he says it. “I want to kiss every single inch of you” He whispers. I’m hypnotized by his brown eyes staring fervently into mine. He kisses me, his lips are demanding, soft and slow, he leaves a trail of kisses down to my neck, my chest, my stomach, his fingers suddenly stopping and I wanted to scream, I want more, but then I felt something even better, his tongue, this feels like paradise. I run my fingers through his hair, I’m desperate I want him deeper inside of me.

"San please” I cried, his hands squeezing my tights, his lips felt so good, his tongue felt even better, I was moaning out of control. I look down at San looking up at me and grinning, his hair wet and pressed down on his forehead, his tongue extended, my back arched and my legs twitching, I throw my head back and I feel this huge relief. It’s almost painful yet so satisfying. I push him so he rests on his back I get on top of him taking him by surprise he took the lead for too long now it’s my turn. I wanted to kiss him forever, I kissed his neck and he loved it as much as I do. The bulge in his thin boxers growing, I reach down caressing San, Fuck he whines, my fingers go around him and I wiggle them a little. I lean down, opening my mouth I take him in, his moans are desperate and I just can’t get enough of that sound and how I’m the one provoking it, his hips rock upward to meet my mouth. I push myself further, taking all of him in, and look up at him. His eyes are rolled to the back of his head and his breathing is slow and heavy, he looks heavenly.

“Fuck… princess” he gasps my hand moves up and down on the bottom of him as my mouth works the tip. I look up at him and I love the way he is losing control because of me. I pull away teasing him, I get it inside of me all at once it’s painful but I get used to it in a matter of seconds, he wraps his arms around me, He groaned low in his throat when I started grinding against him. I moaned against his lips, his tongue swiping across my top lip biting it down as he thrusts his hips up.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stay here forever.

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Text

The new chapter was flagged 💀 IM-

#I'll make a different gif and post the chapter tomorrow 😭#Stay tuned for chapter 10

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel Love 9

Words: 3,7k

Chapters:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

(Y/N)'s POV

My choice was obvious.

Irene sent people to bring my car and all the things from my apartment, except for my papers about the case and my old phone since it was harder to hide in a car and it was dangerous to just leave those there.

I didn't say a word to her, I just went in and drove without a destination. Going back to the streets, my biggest fear in life was now my reality.

Everything vanished so quickly. Just a month ago I was helping a mother find her lost daughter and hugging her back when she was crying and thanking me for finding her. I felt so blessed for having a job that allowed me help people and I was thanking above for not being in hell anymore, just a few days ago I was in a planetarium with a man I barely knew talking about life and laughing and unexpectedly kissing him when he left me at my door, just two days ago I was feeling free and alive running in the rain and having sex with San enjoying myself but also admiring him while he was asleep and having all sort of unknown feelings when I was in his arms. Just a few hours ago I was laughing with a friend. But now there's nothing. Time felt so absurd.

I wanted to call San and confront him. He's the one who killed that man, this was all his fault but I lost the tiny paper with his phone on it. I drove for a few hours and then stopped a few blocks away from the bar since it was the only place I knew. I could only sobb. This is not real I kept repeating myself but looking at my surroundings and looking at my reflection in the driver's mirror, this was definitely real. My eyes were swollen and my head was hurting from crying so much I closed my eyes but did not sleep. I tried to clear up just how I felt but I cried to the point where there was not a single thought on my head.

I kept on working at the bar since the FBI cut the money they were giving me per week, the bar was the only thing that could help me to survive. But I looked like shit and nobody wanted to at least invite me drinks. I went to work every day hoping to see San I wanted to yell at him so bad but I didn't see him, two weeks passed and he was nowhere to be seen, I would constantly see Wooyoung and I wanted to approach him and ask him why San wasn't around but every time I tried to my legs would stop working and I'd walk away from him. Weeks passed and nothing I even started to worry what if something happened to him, what if he was just playing around and he just wanted sex those words were running in circles in my head I didn't even wanted to yell at him anymore I just wanted to see him again.

I wished I had spent more time with him and also wished I could remember the way to his home. I really needed to know where or how he was.

The only good thing about that bar was that I made a new friend, I grew closer with Lucy, she displayed a totally different image while working, the real Lucy was a bubbly and cheerful girl. Everyday she'd ask me if everything was okay in her words, you look like a puzzle that's missing a piece and I always lied with the same words what are you talking about I'm fine.

Since we couldn't meet each other at my ex apartment anymore Irene occasionally left different codes with secret messages on sticky notes on my car that at first glance looked like traffic tickets and it was always the same thing.

"Have you heard of him?"

"You're screwing up"

"If you don't get him soon we can sue you for breach of contract"

"Stop fooling around"

It was definitely way better than seeing her and yell at each other until getting tired.

A whole month passed, at the bar I was used to at least seeing Wooyoung around but recently not even him was showing up.

What if this what if that.

I just need to see him.

(San's POV)

The smell of smoke filled the house, the place was under attack and we needed to get out of here. There was only one man dumb enough to mess with me. That son of a bitch.

I ran through the long corridors of Hongjoong's house. The others following me closely as I lead the way I knew this place wasn't safe but he never hears what I say. I heard the others running behind me and Hongjoong clearing the back part as I cleared the front part. We couldn't use the front door since it was burning and falling apart, we needed a plan asap.

"Let's just use the window" Said Jongho.

I stopped to think about it for a moment, it's risky but we don't really have more options. Jumping to the balcony of the second floor and then to the trees is our only way out. I explained to them my plan and they agreed.

"I'll go first" I said as I made my way to the window. This was a huge risk one wrong move and it was over. Before jumping my princess and my loyal members crossed my mind.

I crouched into the window sill. Please let the others be safe. I jumped and I successfully made it to the second floor's balcony. I looked over at the tree that was about 3 feet away from the balcony, this was the serious part. But we didn't have much time and without hesitation I jumped, I managed to grab onto a branch. I climbed down and then jumped to the ground. I got only a few scratches on my face and my arms but nothing serious or painful.

While helping Yeosang who was the last I heard footsteps approaching us. We got on guard but the noise ceased. Yunho was the first one to lower his gun "Let's just go get the…" I heard gunshots and then Yunho fell on my arms, his face filled with pain and his back covered in blood.

"Lucca says hi" A man hiding in the bushes yelled.

"Go get that bitch but don't kill him I want to do it myself" I said as Jongho, Wooyoung and Mingi followed my instructions.

My attention was back to Yunho, the blood he was losing worried me we could lose him any second if we don't treat him on time, Seonghwa helped me to get him inside the car. We could've died as soon as we passed in front of Hongjoong's house but to our surprise there wasn't anyone there shooting or throwing Molotov cocktails anymore. The way home felt like a roller-coaster I'd see Yunho through the rear-view mirror every two minutes, Hongjoong kept talking to him to keep him awake and Yunho tried to answer all of it with his head thrown back in pain, my heart was beating faster and faster. I can't lose him, none of them I just can't.

I stopped the car in front of our house and Yeosang and Seonghwa got him carefully to the infirmary to treat his wounds. I felt useless, I'm their leader, I should protect all of them but this is not even the first time one of us gets hurt. I impatiently waited outside the infirmary for a few hours to get news from Yunho, why is this taking them so long?.

"I know that face" Hongjoong who was sitting in front of me said with his hands buried on his pockets "You're blaming yourself but this is not your fault, you always tell me to move in here but I never listen, blame me instead"

I didn't say anything this wasn't because Hongjoong's place was an easy target this was because I was unable to protect Yunho. The front door opened and I felt the weight on my shoulders vanishing a little they came back in one piece.

"You're gonna get mad" Said Wooyoung. "We got the guy but he's injured losing a lot of blood he could die any second, we already moved him to the basement so you better hurry"

"Did you ask him some questions?" Hongjoong interfered and Wooyoung tilted his head and squinted his eyes as I left them to hurry to the basement.

"We tried but that motherfucker didn't want to cooperate" I heard Mingi reply.

I went down the basement, Jongho was there too. That man didn't even need to be tied up, he was all fucked up and could barely move, I dragged a chair and sat in front of him.

"So you're one of Lucca's little toys?" I said but that bastard didn't even look at me, Jongho pulled his head up by his hair. "I'm talking, if you don't wanna die in a merciless way you better pay attention–"

"Lucca… he's closer… than you think he is and–" Heavily breathing he coughed leaving blood on his lips, I observed how he was slowly dying. "He's also stronger than you… think he is, his goal is displaying your head… in his leaving room… That's all I know man" He crawled, trying to get closer to me "But please don't kill me I—"

I laughed, this bitch is funny as fuck "Don't kill me? You hurted one of my members, you can thank Lucca for this" I pulled out my gun and I shot him right between his eyebrows, he didn't hesitate to shoot Yunho why should I show some kind of mercy?

"You know what to do with the body" I glanced at Jongho and I threw him my zippo before closing the door of the basement.

While walking through the hall I spotted Seonghwa sitting on the floor removing his gloves covered in blood. He looked exhausted.

"Before you say anything, he's fine we just have to wait for him to wake up" He says while looking up to meet my eyes. "I know you're the leader, but you're also young, you don't have to beat up yourself for this we've been through worse we're all gonna be fine"

"Yes as you said I'm the leader and…" I felt embarrassed and I slid my back on the wall till I reached the floor sitting next to him.

He shakes his head "We knew what we were getting ourselves into when we joined you, and none of us regret doing it, so please stop worrying" He suddenly pauses and looks at me scanning me whole. "I'm the one worried about you, have you been sleeping well? You look like shit"

"I'm doing alright" I say.

"No you're not and I think I know what's your problem"

"Well Doctor Park tell me what's my problem" I rest my head on the wall crossed armed paying attention to what he has to say.

"It's that girl"

"I'm not gonna have this conversation with you" I try to get up but he holds my arm.

"You looked like a totally different person when you were seeing her, you had a special sparkle in your eyes I never saw that look in your face not even when you were with—"

"Don't fucking finish that" I push his hand away from my arm.

"Okay whatever I'm sorry I won't bring it up again, but you know I'm right" He says with determination "But why did you stop seeing her?"

"She rightfully got mad at me" Looking away I say. "I gave her my number but she never called"

"And why didn't you call her?" He scoffs

"She didn't call me for a reason and I respect that I can't force her to love me back" Seonghwa looks at me with his eyes wide open and his mouth forming an O.

"So you love her" I realize way too late what I just said. Fuck. "I knew it" He grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me.

"Well it's… The thing is… I don't know what I feel for her" I say quietly.

"You just said that you love her"

"I know what the fuck I just said it's just…" I try to find the right words but that's the thing about her, she leaves me speechless and breathless and I can't explain what my feelings are towards her. "It's complicated"

"One thing I know for sure is that she feels the same for you" I look at him ironically, I don't think that's the case but I keep listening "Don't look at me like that, I just know, when Wooyoung introduced her to me and I mentioned how nervous you were when you invited her dinner you should've seen her eyes and how they lightened up when I brought you up in our little convo, none a single person on earth can fake that"

"I've thought about it and it's better this way, my life is a big dangerous mess, I have people who's loyal to me in every corner of this city but I also have enemies in every corner, I don't want to bring her into my life and put her in danger just because I'm happy with her that'd be selfish, if something happened to her because of me…" I'm explaining but he interrupts me.

"Yeah but you don't get to decide that, it's her decision, I know she doesn't know everything about you but that one time when you first met her, you shot a man in front of her and according to what you said she didn't look remotely scared of you she even yelled at you she even agreed to go out with you" He sounds so enthusiastic about this but he suddenly pauses "You should go and see her"

"Right now?" I chuckle "I'm waiting for Yunho to wake up besides it's late she's probably working right now"

"Yunho is resting the more he sleeps the better" He rushes me to get up.

"What if she hates me"

"You respect her decision and come back here but you won't know if you don't try to see her" He's already pushing me to keep walking till we get to the door and even throws me my coat. "And yes I don't think he will but If Yunho wakes up earlier I'll call you right away"

"This is a bad idea" I try to get off this situation

"Just shut the fuck and go" He says while opening the door and pushes me out and before I get to say anything he slams the door.

Shit.

(Y/N POV)

I stared at my fake boss with pure anger disguised with a neutral expression, I truly want to punch him in the nose he's been yelling at me for an hour because I'm the only girl bringing the less money and I could understand that but he had the nerve to stare at my boobs the whole time I sat there in front of him in his office.

"I don't get rid of you just because even if you haven't brought that much money these last weeks you're the one who brought more money in one night this month" He finally looks me in the eyes.

He's talking about the night I met San when he paid for me to supposedly have sex with Wooyoung but it was actually just to get me out of here, after all the shit I went through that night he just wanted me to go home and that was a gesture I'll never forget.

"Are you paying attention?" He snaps his fingers in front of me and I nod "Besides tomorrow we have a special event and I need every single girl for a little something so please don't be late"

"Is that everything?" I ask as I get up from my seat, he just nods at me then makes a gesture with his hand.

While closing the door of the office I run into Lucy. "You're still here? it's almost 4am you always leave early" She tells me.

"I was about to leave when our boss called me to tell me about a special event" I explain while we both walk to the dressing rooms.

"Oh, yeah it's tomorrow it's not as special as it sounds it's just his brother's birthday, he's a creep a total pig and girl I see pigs every night but this man" She gags pretending to throw up "I would rather if you just stay at home"

"I can't he even told me to not be late" Lucy changes her dress for a clean one she usually stays for longer than I do, in the meantime I put on the hoodie that San lent me the last time I saw him on top of my dress and get ready to leave.

"Well I hope you get sick or something, I think you're too pure to meet that man" she says and I let out a loud laugh.

"Is he that bad?" She nods and the disgust on her face says everything.

"But enough of that even talking about him grosses me" She looks down at the hour on her phone "You should go now and get some sleep"

"I was going to wait a little the rain sounds heavy" I say and she just rolls her eyes and puts up my hoodie covering my head.

"That's even better if you get wet you might get sick"

I don't say anything, I just wave at her goodbye and leave to the parking lot. The rain catches me off guard, it's definitely more intense than I thought it was going to be. I run to the front part of the bar and on the corner of my eye I spot a familiar silhouette, but I keep walking, it's probably just my imagination at this point.

But what if…

I turn around and I see San he's walking to and fro like he is debating if he should get inside the bar or not. I freeze on my spot when our eyes meet each other, he's completely soaked for how long has he been waiting here in the rain?.

For the last month all I wanted was to have him in front of me so I could yell at him but now… I don't know a thing. I freeze even more when he starts walking toward me and my legs involuntarily do the same till we're face to face. He looks tired and his eyes look red and getting a little swollen… like he has been… crying. I suddenly get this overwhelming feeling and this enormous urge, I approach slowly to hug him tightly. My action takes him by surprise but fastly he wraps me with his arms as well resting his chin on my shoulder. I softly run my fingers through his hair as we get closer and closer.

I missed this…

"Why did you disappear?" I say in a whisper. I let go of our hold to make eye contact.

"I thought you didn't want to see me again" I shake my head slowly "You had all the right to get mad at me and… I'm sorry"

"I wanted to call you the next day you left me at my home but I lost your phone number" Then I finally remember why I wanted to see him "Actually something happened and we need to talk" He holds my hand and we walk to his car.

All this time all I wanted was to ask if he's the one who killed that man but after seeing his sincere eyes something deep inside of me tells me it wasn't him. But I still want to hear it from his lips.

"The last time I saw you… did you…" I struggle to get my words right.

"What is it princess?" He holds my hand with both of his leaving a tender kiss.

"The man you hit that day he's, he's dead" He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh.

"I know I gained certain fame with my actions towards men that have hurt you but this time I promise you princess it wasn't me" That's all I wanted to hear "That day as I was hitting him you told me to stop and so I did and after that you told me to leave and so I did. If you had asked me to kill him I would've done it but you didn't so I forgot about him" Then who the fuck killed that man?

"I'm sorry for thinking it was you" He caresses my cheek and gets closer to me.

"It's okay princess" He says in a lower tone, we're so close and I feel my heart racing so fast God I missed that feeling. I meet his eyes, that gaze… Fuck, then stare at his lips, I end the distance between us with a lingering kiss.

But he stops it "There's something I need to tell you too" He rests his forehead on my mine "I like you princess, so much you have no idea but…" He looks troubled and hesitating.

"You can tell me anything"

"If we keep going forward you deserve to know the truth" He holds my hands again "I'm a Mafia leader and I'm not gonna lie to you, it's dangerous being around me and I'll understand if you don't want to see me anymore"

San's words hit me like a truck, I got it, I did it, I gained his trust and got him to confess. But why do I feel like this doesn't matter anymore? Why do I feel even guilty about it?

"I don't know what to say to that"

"You just have to tell me if that scares you if it does I'll disappear from your life" I shook my head, it didn't scare me not even an ounce I've been around danger all my life "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure" I say while cupping his face with my hands and he rests on one and kisses my hand again.

The rain stops and I get an idea "Can I take you somewhere?" I say suddenly and he finally smiles.

I think that's what I missed the most, that beautiful dimpled smile.

"You want to drive?" I nod and we switch seats. "And where are you taking me?"

"You're gonna have to trust me"

163 notes · View notes

heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel Love 8

Words: 3,7k

Chapters:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

(Y/N's POV)

He was the last man I was expecting to see at my door, what is he even doing here? He shouldn't be seen around here. I open the door and I quickly drag him inside.

"Are you insane?" I exasperatedly yell. Dylan was standing there with a pizza in his hands and confused for suddenly getting scolded.

"Well hello to you as well dear" He makes himself at home and gets directly to the kitchen "I know we're not supposed to be in touch but I think we seriously need to talk and I brought pizza because you always said to never show up at your place without food"

"I can't share details with you about the case you already know that" I sit at the table right in front of him.

"It's not necessarily about the case I just think something wrong is happening" He moves his bangs exposing his forehead he has a big bruise, what the hell happened? "You know how I called you and asked you about a paper?"

"Yes, but how is that connected with your bruise? What happened to you?" He starts eating a piece of pizza, why is he so calmed?

"I told you I was going to clean your apartment while you're staying here for God knows how long right?" I nod. "When I got to your apartment everything was a mess and I thought well Y/N isn't always precisely clean so it wasn't a big surprise and then since everything was triggering my perfectionistic ass I cleaned first and then later I searched for that paper, when I finally found it"

"Dylan just go to the point" I shrug playfully.

"I'm getting there, I found the paper and I left it on top your couch so I could just take out the trash go back to get the paper and then leave but that's where it got weird"

"How?"

"While I was taking out the trash I got beat up" His smile disappears. "You know how I always think positive before jumping to conclusions so I thought well Y/N doesn't live in the most secure neighbourhood so maybe someone confused me with someone, but then it got weirder. When I went back inside your apartment the paper wasn't there anymore"

I rest on my chair, not understanding what is happening right now.

"And I wanted to know exactly how close were you able to get with that man, what was his name Choi San?"

"So what you're saying is that you think it was him?" He nods and I chuckle without realizing. "How could this possible be him? For several reasons first my last case has nothing to do with him, he doesn't know you, he doesn't know I lived there and last why would he need that paper?"

"Listen I just have a big hypothesis, but first does he like you?" I keep quite genuinely not knowing how to answer that after all San only said I think I like you but didn't confirm it "Okay that silence confirms it he likes you, listen here I go he most likely found out about you being a detective but he likes you so he is just gonna pretend nothing happened to keep seeing you, but he is a jealous possessive man and just wants you all for himself and mistook our friendship with something else and beat me up and stole my paper just to mess more with me" This time I laugh loudly, hysterically.

"Ah I was having a bad day but thank you for making me laugh like that" But he doesn't laugh "There's a lot of not clicking stuff in your hypothesis first of all I don't think San is that type of man if he had found out that I'm a detective he would've killed me without hesitation. And I'll tell you why but you better keep it to yourself because I'm not supposed to be sharing stuff about the case with anyone but Irene"

"Who am I even gonna share it with? My dog? Just keep talking"

"One of his friends told me something about San, I don't remember his exact words but something about how he thought the whole relationships thing was over for San so It's been on my mind that probably he went through some bad stuff with women or was I don't know maybe betrayed and now he probably has a hard time trusting people so" I take a pause to finally get a bite "if he takes betrayal like a stab in the heart I don't think I would be alive if he knew the truth"

"And how did you manage to make him open up"

"I got lucky I guess, besides I don't really see him as a possessive man because.." I look up from my plate when I realise I was about to unveil San's recent crimes. "He doesn't have that vibe"

"Okay then maybe I'm a bad detective and I read everything wrong, but just be careful with this man the FBI sent you with zero undercover training"

"I think you're the one who should be careful, just connect the dots Dylan, you are looking for a murderer who kills people every year on the same day, when you arrived at my apartment everything was a mess like someone was desperately looking for something, the paper, the important clue to the case and then you got beat up and suddenly the biggest clue disappears. I think they know you're looking for them"

"Now I know why they didn't want me to go in your place you're a better detective than I am" He laughs despite all the things I said of the possibility of the murderer knowing his moves.

"You are the one who trained me does that mean the student surpassed the master?" He chuckles "But I'm being serious please be careful out there I don't want you dead"

"I'll be fine, you better than anyone else knows how tough it's our job we're always in danger but we keep going" He looks at me tilting his head a little bit "Being out of that office helped you a lot you look… alive"

I almost choke on my pizza "Are you saying I looked dead before?"

"No there's just something different about you, you needed some fresh air I guess"

Dylan stayed for the rest of the afternoon, we didn't really keep talking about each other's cases, he just rambled on about random things that crossed his mind. Talking with him has always been so easy and funny while working he made work less stressful. And this time it definitely felt refreshing talking with someone from my real life with no yelling like the times I talk with Irene.

The night came before we even noticed.

"Just call a taxi this street isn't really crowded and not many taxis pass around here you'll be waiting outside in the dark and the cold for too long" I said with a worried voice.

"It's okay mom, I can walk a few blocks and then take the bus no big deal" He smiles and rolls his eyes.

I cringe at him calling me mom, but I've always been protective when it comes to Dylan, my only friend "Did you even hear a word about my whole tedtalk of taking care? Or it went in one ear and out the other?"

"No, it didn't I promise I'll be careful and look behind my back wherever I go" He raises his pinky and locks it with mine.

"A pinky promise, really?" I cringe even more but he's always like this. He then smiles and waves goodbye.

I close the door and I can't help but feel worried about him, even if we got the conclusion of San not being the one who beat him up there's still someone out there who did it, who knows his moves and where I lived. If I could only remember what was on that paper but it's been quite a long time since I read all the things I compiled about all the people killed and all of the suspects.

I sit on the floor in front of the couch, there's this feeling inside of me like a pain or a knot in my heart, that makes me… sad? like a presentiment like some bad shit is gonna happen soon and it worries me, I don't want more bad things happening in my life I'm over it I already went through a lot of bad stuff I deserve a break.

I bury my hands on my pockets and I feel a tiny paper I take it out and it's San's phone number with a message

Princess I know you're mad at me but if you need me for anything don't hesitate to message me or call me whatever you prefer I'll be there as soon as I can.

When did he even put his phone number inside my pocket? A brilliant idea crosses my mind. I have his phone number, with that I can hack his phone in its entirety. Most people have their bank accounts linked to their phones so payments can be ten times easier. This way I can not only have access to his phone but all the payments he makes, all the phone calls he makes and know everything he's involved in.

Last time Irene forgot her laptop here, in just a matter of minutes I have it connected and ready to get in his phone, hacking has never been hard for me. I type all the codes I need to get inside I do everything correctly and perfectly and I finally have access to his phone. I stare blankly at the screen in front of me. Nothing. There's nothing in there no bank accounts, no contacts, nada. It's probably a new phone to communicate just with me, he really is smart and careful with everything he does.

Frustrated I go to bed and try to sleep, I've had enough of this day I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. And I can't help but feel useless normally I'm efficient in the way I do my job but right now I feel like I haven't moved forward at all.

…

"Do you really think that attractive and rich man likes you? Wake up Y/N now that he knows everything about you, he sees you with pity you're just part of a charity, his good action of the day. Be smarter for once in your life" That man yells right in front of my face "You're still ugly and useless, he just wanted to have sex and he got it and now he's just going to desapear" For once I try to speak back but I can't it feels like my words drown in my mouth and can't be released "What? you want to speak? Are you gonna be a bad girl? Just remember that nobody can hear you" He starts approaching me untying his red tie trying to touch me.

"No!" I wake up tearing up, shaking and completely covered in sweat. I thought the nightmares had ceased but I guess I was wrong. I get up to get a glass of water still trembling. In moments like this I really hate being all alone. I glance at the clock 6am when did I even sleep that much? A hard and desperate knock on the door startles me and makes me accidentally drop my glass of water.

"Y/N open the door it's me, Irene" She yells. But why is she here way earlier than she said she will? And knocking like that. I open the door and there she is but to my surprise she isn't alone she's with two cops by her side.

"What are you doing here so early I still don't have any updates"

"I ordered you to be a prostitute not a full time criminal" She pushes me hard against the wall handcuffing me "Y/N you're under arrest for the brutal murder of Oliver Miller"

"Who the fuck is that?" I try to resist but the cops interfere.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions"

"Get off me I didn't do shit" I yell and I kick but it's useless they're not hearing a word I say.

"You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time."

I try to run but it's all in vain, I don't even know who that man was, this has to be a big misunderstanding. They push me into the car handcuffed and barefoot. I know exactly how this works even if I speak and demand explanations, they see me as the criminal right now and they won't speak back to me and I'll just be wasting breath. I have to keep quiet till we get to the department to have an interrogation.

"Killing a man, I really don't know what was crossing your mind" Irene says without looking at me, using her sleeve to clear the fog accumulating on her window.

I know she's doing that on purpose to make me talk about it but whatever I say right now will be used against me later on. I won't fall in her trap.

We get to the station and I feel sick and cold, this just can't be real. I don't even know the man they're talking about. Irene is sitting next to me without saying a word.

"Get her ready for interrogation, the mother's victim is still in the room, she's gonna have to wait a few minutes" I recognise that man it's a detective but from a different department than mine I've seen him a few times but I don't remember his name.

I see a lot of faces passing by in front of me some familiar some unknown but this time it's different right now I'm seen as the criminal, as the guilty one and all the people passing in front of me look at me with a disgusted expression on their faces

"wasn't she a detective?"

"I saw it coming to be honest"

"but she's so young"

"I always thought she looked like a weirdo and a little suspicious"

I hear people murmuring things about me and I can't help but feel sad. I am innocent. But none of them stop to see the facts.

"You, come here we have some questions for you" Irene stands too "She has to come alone, we already have a lawyer for her" The detective from earlier says.

I go to the interrogation room I've been in charge of interrogation before but it's been just a couple of times. There's another man in the room my lawyer I assume.

"Miss y/n this is your lawyer Mr. Thompson and I'm detective Jones" He sits in front of me I'm really nervous and I just want to scream of frustration because I shouldn't be here but I have to look normal and calmed "We're aware of the case you're involved in right now, but miss you have to know that you're not above the law, why did you tortured and killed Oliver Miller?"

I keep quiet for a moment, I have to think this through and not just answer out of frustration.

"We have evidence of your previous actions against this man, it's footage of a security camera across the street from your apartment" He hands me a computer and now everything makes sense, it's the man who was harassing the other day. But this video shows what I couldn't remember, turns out this man not only said nasty things to me but he dared to touch my butt and I was right I punched him more than I remembered.

I know I didn't kill him but San… His words hit me like a thunder. Leave her alone or I promise I'll kill you. Oh God San why…

"That's you in the video isn't it?"

"It is me I just didn't know his name"

"It's obvious that my client was defending herself as you can see in the evidence Oliver Miller sexualy harassed my client" My lawyer says showing back the screen to detective Jones.

"Yes and that's why she had reasons to kill him, is that why you did it?" He yells and stomps his hands on the table. He's trying to intimate me and get me to confess out of pressure and fear.

"I did had an altercation with Oliver Miller but that was, like my lawyer just said self defense against a sexual predator and that was it I didn't see him again after that"

"The thing is miss, we don't have more footage after that little fight, did you delete it? We know how good you are at hacking" That's a good argument actually. But it's bullshit.

"No I didn't hack anything I don't have my computer with me in my new apartment"

"Really? Because we sent people to check your new apartment and there's a laptop in there and you know what we found? You were hacking something before the police showed up"

"My client said she doesn't have her computer with her in this new apartment" My lawyer replies.

"Yes my lawyer is right I don't have my computer, that laptop is not mine is Irene's, my supervisor"

"What were you hacking then?" This detective I swear… I know he's just doing his job but still.

"That was part of the case I'm working on right now and according with my contract I'm not supposed to share details about it with anyone but Irene" He looks at me exasperatedly, he knows I'm a detective and he knows getting me to confess out of pressure is not gonna work with me. He leaves me alone with my lawyer for a moment.

"Miss Y/N you need to tell me the truth so I can have good arguments did you kill that man?" My lawyer asks while opening his briefcase to get a little notebook.

"No I didn't, I swear"

He leaves the room as well. In my opinion I think I did pretty good. In a certain angle I lied, I don't remember beating that man that much or him touching my butt. But if I had mentioned it they would've imprisoned me immediately if I didn't remember beating that man they're going to think I don't remember killing him as well.

I also could've used Dylan as a witness, he saw me the whole afternoon till the night fell but they could punish him as we're not supposed to have contact. And last I could've blamed San on the spot so easily, but… I couldn't. Before throwing him to the FBI I want to speak to him directly.

Irene enters the room I thought she had left already.

"I got an agreement" She says as she sits in front of me.

"What is it?" I reply

"Mr Miller was found in front of his building his body stayed in the rain for too long and that erased every trail of the murderer. Since you're the only suspect the mom of the victim demands a punishment" She looks at me more serious than she ever looked "You're not going to jail, but you're gonna lose your credibility as a detective and after you're done with your undercover mission you're going to be fired since this brings a bad image to your department"

"You're crazy" I say shaking my head this just can't be happening right now.

"Careful with the way you talk to me I managed to get this agreement but if you don't want it we can send you to jail" She angrily gets up and stands in front of me.

I don't want to cry specially here, I hate crying in front of others. But this is so unfair. "Why should I keep going with the case, you can do it on your own then"

"It doesn't work like that you signed a contract" She sits again "The mother of the victim will think that you went to jail and for that she doesn't have to see you around the neighbourhood so you're gonna have to leave that apartment"

"Does that mean I can go back to my old apartment?" I discreetly wipe my tears away.

"No and the FBI can't get you another one, stay in the car we gave you for awhile"

This time I slam my hands on the table and she jumps startled for my sudden action "So I'm not only gonna lose my job but you also want me to be fucking homeless?"

She nods "Is that or going to jail, it's your choice"

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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If you guys saw something act like nothing happened I'm the biggest clown

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Cruel Love 7

Words: 3,7k

Chapters:

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(Y/N's POV)

The sound of the rain wakes me up, my head feels like it's gonna break into millions of tiny pieces, I'm not a heavy drinker what was I even thinking last night… Wait where am I? My headache distracted me from the fact that there's an arm around me and that I'm not in my room. Confused and not fully awake I look around to find a clock 6am.

I slowly turn around in bed and find a sleeping San, he looks so peaceful, sweet and… naked?! I notice I'm wearing a white shirt, probably his white shirt where's my dress? what in the world is happening. Suddenly almost all the memories come back to me I had sex with San in the back seat of his car. Oh my God who am I. I can feel I'm blushing like crazy, I cover my ashamed face with the white sheet and I accidentally wake him up.

"Princess?" He sleepily asks but I feel too shy to uncover my face.

"I-I" What am I even supposed to do in this situation? "Sorry I woke you up I was feeling cold" He gets up half asleep to look for something in his closet and gets back to my side and covers me with a soft and warm blanket and falls asleep immediately. He wasn't even fully awake but he's still so caring.

I try to sleep again but I can't and I can't get up because I have San's arm on top of me. I try to remember all the things from last night I remember men inviting me a lot of drinks and then San and I making out in the golden VIP room and then us running in the rain to his car but I wanted more than just make it out so we had sex but how did I end up here? Is this his house? I thought the information we had from him was that he never takes girls home never. What if I said too much last night what if I fucked up.

It's still raining and I feel extremely cold. I get so glad when I feel San finally moving his arm and I get up trying not to move much the bed and wake him up again. I get out of the room and there's a long hallway, it looks elegant and expensive this is definitely his house but it still doesn't feel real that he brought me here.

As I go down the stairs I hear a noise that startles me, it comes I guess from the leaving room. I see two men who I don't know drinking and laughing in front of a big TV when they see me they get as surprised as I am and they pull out their guns. They know, I'm gonna die for sure.

"No no put them down this is y/n the girl San doesn't shut up about" Wooyoung comes running and stands in front of me with his hands raised. "y/n, these are Jongho and Yunho, Jongho Yunho this is y/n"

"Hi" I say and my voice sounds too small, I genuinely thought I was going to die.

"Sorry if we scared you, we thought you were an intruder" Says the tall one Yunho. The other one Jongho doesn't say a word and just goes back to his seat and his beer.

Wooyoung speaks again "Come to the kitchen I'll introduce you to the rest of the family" Does that mean they live together? I do as he says and I walk behind him. Everything in this house looks like I would never be able to afford it in this life and the next life combined and the kitchen is not an exception it looks like a professional kitchen from a fancy restaurant. "Seonghwa come here to meet someone" A tall man that was initially cooking something comes closer to us "This is y/n, y/n this is Seonghwa"

"Nice to meet you, the restaurant San took you to was my recommendation" Seonghwa says he has a deep yet soft-spoken voice. "You should've seen him, he was so nervous and didn't know what to do, I hope you enjoyed your dinner with him" He looks so proud of his recommendation and I don't have the heart to tell him we actually missed the reservation. He goes back to cook when a burning smell fills the air.

The thought of San constantly talking about me with his friends and him being nervous about where he should invite me to makes me feel strange.

My curiosity wins and I ask Wooyoung "Why are you guys up so early?"

"We're not up early we just never went to sleep you know what they say, to get hangovers you have to stop drinking" He says playfully.

I really appreciate Wooyoung introducing me to San's friends but it would be better if I wasn't wearing only a shirt that's barely long enough to cover my private parts.

"I should go back to the room" I say hoping Wooyoung doesn't mind.

"Sure go ahead come down in a few hours for breakfast"

I slowly open the door to not make any sound for I don't know if San is still sleeping or not. I walk on my tippy toes when I see him still asleep. I really hope I didn't screw up last night, having sex was indeed reckless but after all it was consensual and it's not my major worry but me talking too much and maybe revealing things that should stay unrevealed is the thing that worries me the most.

I sit on the edge of the bed and to my bad luck he wakes up.

"Morning sleepyhead" he smiles and he has a natural morning blush on his cheeks.

"Good morning princess" Okay that confirms it if I had talked about me being a detective he wouldn't be smiling at me right? "Sorry if you got scared because you didn't recognise this place when you woke up"

"No it's okay you don't have to say that" I smile at him and he pats on the mattress to lay next to him.

"Come here princess we need to talk" Well turns out I did say something last night isn't this just great? Isn't this just fucking perfect. I react too late and I lay down on the bed with him as he asked me to.

"Last night you said some things that I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have said if you had been sober" He holds both of my hands in front of our chests.

"I-i don't remember all the things I said last night can you tell me what did I say?"

"Do you really want to princess?" I nod.

"You thanked me for being the first man who treats you right while having sex after that I tried to change the subject so you couldn't tell me more things that you probably didn't wanted to say but you said you needed to get it off your chest" He takes a pause to take a deep breath.

"You can keep going"

"You told me about you being an orphan and being verbally abused by a man that worked in that orphanage and how you were scared of never being adopted, about how when you were 17 you were able to scape that place but you lived in the streets for too long before you found a lost phone and you found out that you could sell pictures of yourself naked for some money and get to eat something and that you continued doing that till a man found you and you thought you were finally going to be okay but that man mistreated you. After that I held you close to me and you fell asleep" I immediately remember absolutely all the things I said and without even noticing I start tearing up and he holds me sweetly close to his chest.

Crying not because I revealed things that I never talked to anyone in my life but tears because even if I said all of that the way he looked at me wasn't a pitiful look, the way he looked at me stayed the same way, the same tenderness, the same fond way. And I just wonder how come not a single person made me feel safe and how not a single person was trustworthy enough to share it with them. But San was able to make me feel safe enough to share with him all the bad shit that happened in my past. I've been drunk before but nobody got a word from me about my life.

"I probably made you uncomfortable" I try to laugh it off.

"You would never princess" He wipes away my tears and I feel like crying again when he gets closer to leave a tiny peck on my forehead "thank you for trusting me"

"I never told that to anyone else in the world so you better keep my secret safe"

"But there's only one thing I asked and you refused to answer" The air in the room finally changes to a less serious one.

"And what was that?"

"What happened to your hand?" I looked down at my hand, I had totally forgotten about it.

"Well you know… Things happen"

"That's exactly what you said last night"

"Wait it's my turn there's something I want to know" He laughs softly.

"Don't try to change the conversation princess"

"How come we were both drunk and you can remember everything but I didn't even know what was my name when I woke up" He dares to laugh again "This isn't funny Choi San"

He catches me off guard when he pulls me on top of him, it's intimate but not sexual. We stay like that for a moment before I cup his face with my warm hands to look at him directly into his eyes.

"I don't mean to scare you off princess believe me I'm aware we just met but I…" He sounds nervous "I think I like you" I try to speak but he doesn't let me "You don't have to answer that I just wanted to say it"

I tried to answer but the truth is I didn't know what to say, why does he like me? Why would anyone see me in that way? A knock on the door saves me.

"I'm coming in I hope you guys are decent" I hear Wooyoung on the other side of the door. "Hongjoong is here early let's have breakfast all together" He leaves without closing the door.

"I forgot to mention that I don't live alone" He says embarrassed and he looks… cute.

"I figured, I went down and your friend Wooyoung introduced me to some other guys"

"They didn't say inappropriate things to you right?" There weren't words but two of them pointed their guns at me would that count?

"No they were nice well actually one of them said something about you" His face changes. "Something about you being nervous when you invited me dinner"

"I'm gonna kill Seonghwa"

"No don't I want to know more details about you being all cute and nervous" He looks away with a notorious blush on his face.

"They're waiting for us princess"

Before leaving San hands me a pair of grey sweatpants and a hoodie. This doesn't look like something he wears often since all of his clothes I've seen and the ones around his dressing room are all black and elegant but those are definitely his since those have his scent all over it.

"Turn around" I say shyly the confident woman from last night already went to sleep and the shy girl is back.

"I saw everything already princess" He says with a smirk on his face. "You don't have to be shy around me"

"I don't care I saw you naked too but I turned around when you were changing"

"You can see me naked anytime you want to" He starts taking off his shirt but I stop him.

"I know, but still turn around"

"I'll turn around if you tell me what happened to your hand" I gasp louder than I wanted too.

"Fine I'll tell you, I was going to buy some groceries and this man appeared out of nowhere and said nasty things to me" He clenches his jaw the cute guy disappeared and now there's a furious man in front of me "I tried to ignore it but he didn't stop and kept walking behind me so I got fed up and I punched him"

"Who?" He says with a gaze that would scare anyone.

"I don't know I don't really know the people from my neighbourhood and it doesn't matter anymore I handle it" I try to soften the situation.

"Look at me I'm okay"

"Next time call me and I'll handle it"

"It's okay Sannie I'm strong I can defend myself"

His mood changes completely after he hears me calling him Sannie. "I don't doubt you're strong just look at your hand is that man even still alive? How many times did you punch him?"

"Only twice"

"Only twice and you got your knuckles looking like this?" He looks at me with squinted eyes. "My point still stands next time call me I'll be there in minutes like I said I don't doubt you're strong but I don't want you getting hurt"

"I told you what happened with my hand can you turn around now?" I say with both of my hands on my hips.

"Okay you can get changed now" He closes the door of his dressing room.

Why is this place so huge? who even needs so many clothes so many watches and so many of everything. I keep getting more and more evidence of his wealth. If I could only find a receipt with a credit card number to find more payments and find out what business he's involved in that would make things easier for me but there's nothing around. My heart beats faster and faster, if I get caught it's five against one, it's a battle I can try but one I'll definitely lose. I keep on looking but there's nothing in here I quickly finally change my clothes so he doesn't start suspecting. And I open the door to his room but it's empty.

I go down the stairs and there's no sound around but I hear a man yelling in the kitchen.

"You were the one who made the rule of not bringing people we don't know into this house but you're the one who breaks it first do you even care about our safety? Do you even know her? She could be with Lucca" I stop walking and I freeze right there. They're talking about me.

"Lower your voice she is gonna come down any time soon"

"I don't give a shit about that, you might be the head of the team but just understand that it's dangerous bringing people we don't know in here besides why are you even taking so many risks for her? Killing that politician and beating up almost to death the owner of that stupid bar was the most foolish and reckless thing you've done and for what? For a woman you just met?" I feel sick to my stomach, he did what? So that's why my fake boss wasn't around.

"You didn't know hearing other people's conversations is seen as bad manners" I hear someone behind and I wish earth could suddenly open and swallow me whole. I turn around and it's another man I don't know.

"I didn't intend to I just" I stutter, completely fearing for my life.

"San!" The man shouts and San comes out with a shorter man by his side.

"Hongjoong, Yeosang please leave I need to talk with her alone" They do as he says and I just want to disappear.

"What did you hear princess"

"I-i…" I gulped all my fear "Why did you do that? Your friend said it better than I could, why did you kill a man? Why did you beat up my boss?" He has a different look on his face, a murderous one.

"They hurt you" He sounds serious his voice lowered and deepened.

"And so what? You just can't go around hurting and killing people that have harmed me. 'They hurt you' I don't understand how you're taking this so lightly this was definitely not necessary" I speak too fast, he tries to hold my hand but I move away.

"Just let me explain I-"

"San there's nothing to explain you killed someone" I sound brave but I'm actually trembling and dying inside I've only seen San's sweet and caring side but I know damn well there's a dark side on him and I'm probably about to see that side right now and that scares me. "I'll leave"

"I can't let you do that princess" This time he is faster and grabs my wrist "You're gonna go to the police"

I laugh loudly "Do you even remember what's my job? I'm a prostitute San and that's pretty much illegal if I go in there I'm gonna be behind bars too" I let go of his hold "I said I'm leaving" I walk to the door and to my surprise nobody gets on my way. I open the door and this has to be a fucking joke there's only trees around. He had to live in the fucking woods no wonder the FBI hasn't found this place. If I go out I'm surely going to get lost. But regardless of that I close the door behind me and start walking.

I hear a loud noise of a motorcycle approaching me "At least let me take you home you'll get lost if you go on your own"

"There's no need"

"Princess I know you're mad but please let me take you home I don't want you to get lost around here" He raises a helmet in front of me and I hate that he is right I have no idea of where I am let alone how to go back to my place. I hop on behind him without saying a word.

I tried to memorize the way to his home but it really was hard and tricky for a moment I even wondered if he was actually taking me home or somewhere else.

He stops in front of my building, I get off his motorcycle and I heavy hearted start walking away. I don't hear any sound of him leaving so I annoyed turn around. "You can leave now"

"I won't till I see the lights on in your apartment so I know you're completely safe" He rests cross armed next to his Ducati.

"Don't start now San…"

"You're the whore from the other day you broke my nose bitch" I recognise that angry voice immediately it's the nasty man I punched.

"Leave her alone or I promise I'll kill you" He takes off his jacket ready to fight but I stop him.

"San please no just…" The nasty angry man pulls my hair and I fall on my back. That was his biggest mistake.

"And who are you, are you her pimp? Because she's doing a terrible job as a slu…" The man couldn't even finish his sentence, San's fist was faster than the man's thoughts. He looked like a complete furious beast, the look in his eyes was just indescribably scary.

The man tried to fight back but it was in vain. San was taller, faster and stronger. I try to pull him back but he keeps on throwing punch behind punch. "San stop" I yell and he snaps back and looks at me there's blood on his face but it isn't his. The nasty man takes advantage of him being distracted and kicks him in the face opening a cut on his eyebrow. When he sees San on the ground he runs away.

I kneel next to San "Didn't I tell you to stop look at your eyebrow" I try to touch his eyebrow and he flinches because of the pain.

"But at least you're okay princess"

I don't wanna leave him like that even if I'm mad at him "Let me cure you first"

I hold his wrist and we go upstairs hoping and praying Irene doesn't show up earlier than she said she will.

"Sit there" I leave San on my bed and bring all the things I need from the bathroom. "I only have gauzes and rubbing alcohol and it's most likely going to hurt a lot but it's going to be disinfected" He nods and I proceed to gently press the wet gauze against his cut, with a groan he squeezed his eyes and clenched his fists tight. He opens his eyes and smiles at me "Don't even think I'm not mad at you anymore, please leave"

"I was protecting you princess" San says with a serious but soft voice.

"That's not the way you have to do it, you killed someone and you almost killed someone again just a few minutes ago" I cross my arms with annoyance. "Please leave"

He respects my wishes and leaves. When I hear the noise of his motorbike going away and then disappearing completely I lay down on my bed. This undercover bullshit is ten times harder than I thought it was going to be, I miss being in my tiny cubicle researching, hacking and going out to get the bad guys. But this is beyond me emotionally and physically. He killed someone because of me, this was technically my fault, someone died because of me. A wife lost her husband because of me.

The guilt was eating me alive. I wandered around my apartment to distract me from those thoughts but nothing was able to stop them. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I tried to eat but I couldn't. I knew San was a criminal from the start but meeting his sweet side first made the thought of him doing malicious things sound impossible to me. So actually hearing that he killed someone and beat up two people and one in front of me felt horrible.

Before going out of my mind, someone luckily saves me with a knock on the door. I look through the peephole and it's definitely someone I wasn't expecting.

152 notes · View notes

heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel Love [6]

Words: 4,3k

Chapters:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

(Y/N'S POV)

The last ray of dim light disappeared after closing the door I rest against the door holding my chest trying to control the unknown things happening inside of me I look through the peephole and he's still there he stares blankly into space while touching his lips he smiles so big and raises one of his hands in victory he's happy?

I go to bed thinking about how San is nothing like Irene's report portrayed him or at least he hasn't showed that side yet. He is a caring man who blushes easily. I feel my old phone vibrating under the mattress and I hurry up to see who it is if it's Irene I'm doomed.

"Hello?"

"Hey y/n how is the fake life going?" I sigh relieved after hearing Dylan's voice.

"Are you drunk or dumb? We're not supposed to have contact"

"I know" He laughs loudly "I just don't know if you remember that I'm working on your last case and one of the papers is missing I wanted to know if you still have it or if I have to ask our boss"

"Really? I left everything organised it shouldn't be missing but I probably messed up without realising it probably is in my apartment" I scratch my head trying to remember.

"Can I go to your old apartment to pick it up then?" He asks.

"Sure ask the doorman to open the door for you I'll call to let them know you're passing by" It's completely okay it's not the first time he does it I've known Dylan for two years almost three and it's not the first time he's there without me being present.

"Okay I'll call you after getting them, take care y/n" He ends the call.

I feel so troubled I feel really tired but I have to stay up to write a report that I don't even know where to start. Tonight San didn't show a single sign of him being a criminal we talked about our life and the FBI is surely not interested in his childhood. He did showed signs of his wealth the earrings, his expensive car and renting a whole planetarium just for us. I search around on the Internet to find how much the earrings are and my jaw drops as soon as I see the price 14,995 dollars. He must have a lot of money if he can do that casually buying expensive jewelry like it's candy. Me being an average human getting an average paycheck can't understand how he can spend that much on a woman he just met? My phone rings again, it's Dylan but is just a message this time.

Damn you must have been on a huge rush to leave your apartment like that 😭 since you can't come back for idk how long I'll clean it and tidy this place up for you but you owe me one.

What is he talking about? I call him immediately but he doesn't answer. What is he doing? I try again but it sends me to voicemail his message was sent only seconds ago why can't he pick up? But I try not to worry and just send him a message.

What do you mean? you're so dramatic not all of us are perfectionists and clean as you are I left my apartment as it always is and answer your phone I called you twice!!

I go back to my report and I write the little information I have I know Irene is going to yell at me because she gave me specific instructions of writing an extremely detailed report but the only thing I have is evidence of his wealth besides I'm doing a good job San is opening up and the whole point is gaining his trust Irene said it herself San was hard to find and me getting this close is in fact more than she expected.

I rest my head on the desk just to close my eyes for a little moment the tiredness is a lot but I have to keep on writing.

…

The sun dazzled me and I straighten up in my seat fuck I was supposed to just rest my eyes for a moment but I fell asleep. I stretch my arms and legs and I feel good It's been a long time since I've slept so well. My heart starts beating fast when I hear a knock on the door and I get up so fast to open just to find Irene on the other side.

"You must have had a rough night you look…" She looks at me from head to toes and tries to find non-offensive words or at least that's what she looks like. "Anyways remember my instructions? I'm here to see your report"

I don't really say anything to her I just guide her to my desk and give her the report.

"This is just" She holds the bridge of her nose and laughs then breaks the paper in half and throws it away "You think this is a joke? We don't give a shit about his money we're losing time" She yells at me, she looks furious.

I would usually lower my head and be a good employee but today that's not the case. "Don't you see? This is useful for the case knowing about his wealth we can get an idea of what he's doing find his credit history and see what business he's involved in" I yell back at her and she looks surprised "At least I'm getting things done you along with the rest of the FBI have been trying for too long to reach him but you failed you should be thankful I was able to get this close"

She's about to leave but turns back to look at me "Show me what you recorded"

Fuck not again.

"I wasn't able to get much" I get the earrings and I connect them to her laptop.

She tenses when she sees his face. In the short video I was able to get there he was it only showed when he gave me the flowers and the diamond earrings and before the video ends it shows how he took off my detective earrings.

"Flowers and diamond rings? You had a date with him right after you guys had sex? Seriously? Isn't supposed to be date and then sex" She says with saltiness in her voice.

"Listen, I'm aware that you're my superior and I should show you some respect but if you want that I want respect back if I had or didn't have sex with him that is the point of the investigation get close gain his trust so I don't know what you're getting so mad for but if you're really itching to know no, I didn't have sex with San"

"San? So you’re that close now" She nods and laughs sarcastically "Sure whatever you say I'll be back in a couple of days" She gets up to finally leave and I couldn't be happier about it "And y/n next time make sure to write something actually useful"

I sit on the couch for a moment, letting out a big sigh of frustration and anger why was she so mad about all of this? from the beginning she knew this wasn't going to be easy. My head hurts because all of this and I just lay back on the couch. I stare at the ceiling for too long my mind completely blank the last words she said definitely hit a nerve make sure to write something actually useful it remind me of stuff from my childhood and I get mad again can't she see I'm trying my best?.

I get up again to the kitchen to finally eat something and see if that can stop my headache but my phone starts ringing. It's an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this y/n?" Says a woman but there's a little bit of noise and I can't recognise her voice.

"Yeah it's me who is this?"

"Hi it's Lucy the tall girl from the bar I'm sorry if I catch you in a bad time but our boss isn't gonna be around for a few days and whenever he isn't around I'm in charge I was wondering if you could come to the bar earlier and help me with some stuff"

I think about it for a moment and I don't really want to go to that bar ever again but it's not like I have any other choice "Sure at what time do you want me there?"

"Around 4pm or earlier if you can, I hate being in charge here so if you can come earlier I'll really appreciate it"

"Okay I'll be there"

"Thank you new girl" She says and I end the call.

This is just fucking perfect the last time I was there, my confidence was left on the floor, I hated the way I had been treated. But I also wonder why the boss isn't gonna be around? He must be sick I guess.

I wonder if San is gonna be there tonight but that I remember he only goes there only once or twice per week so he might not be there tonight.

I take a shower and after that I finally eat something, but there's not much left to eat for the next week and there wasn't much food to begin with so I'm obligated to leave and get the groceries. I put on a hoodie some old jeans and I leave.

There's not many people in this neighbourhood it's nothing like my old one in my old building there was always noise always if it wasn't a couple fighting it was babies crying or if it wasn't that it was the same couple having loud sex in plain daylight. This neighbourhood it's nothing like that I've been walking and so far I've only seen one old lady taking out her trash.

"What are you doing outside gorgeous" Says a man but I don't even bother to turn around and I just keep walking. "Can't you see it's dangerous to be alone a girl with an ass like yours isn't safe anywhere" I feel disgusted and I just rush my steps. "Stop ignoring me dirty slut I've been observing you the other day you left with a short dress that made me so hard are you a whore beautiful? Because I'll gladly pay for your services"

I stop walking and I turn around to face him "Leave me alone or I'll scream"

"That won't do much honey have you seen this place? it's empty as fuck even if you scream for help nobody is gonna come and save you" He tries to get closer to me but I take a step back. "Come on gorgeous I just want a little taste of that pussy of yours you're a whore you want it too you're probably getting wet right now"

I've had enough of this man this time I'm the one that gets closer to him he probably thinks he got me, as soon as he lowers his guard I punch him in the face. He holds his nose and sees the blood in his hand and looks shocked "What did you call me? A whore? I'll show you what a whore can do then" I punch him again.

The man looks pissed but he doesn't stay for too long and runs away. He messed up with a good trained detective after all.

I finally get to the convenience store and get enough stuff for the next week.

"Your total would be" The cashier looks down at my hand "Are you okay!?" I get confused to what he means and I look at my hand and it's turning green and purple and there's some of my own blood I don't remember punching that man that much?.

"I'm okay thank you" I pay and I don't even bother to get my change I get out of there.

I hurry and I run as fast as I can to be safe, if that man appears again with this hand I won't be able to do much to defend myself. I get there and I close the door behind me completely breathless for running so much. I walk to the bathroom to wash and disinfect my hand, with eyes closed and itching pain I put a bandage on my hand. I've hit people before and my hand has never ended like this did I… punch him more than I remember?

I stay in the kitchen trying to rewind the tape but I only remember punching him twice and then he just ran away… But the blood on his face and my hand doesn't match up with my memories.

I glance at the clock 2pm I should start getting ready to head to the bar. I do my make up first a not so heavy smokey eye and red lipstick. I wear a short backless long sleeved black dress I'm gonna be cold at night but the other dresses are just as short and skin revealing as this one so there's no big difference. I eat something quickly before leaving and I just close the door.

With not so much enthusiasm I drive to the bar and I drive as slow as possible I don't want to be there and I don't want to be there this early. My hand still hurts I move the bandage a little and my hand still has a purple greenish color I knew it wasn't going to heal right away but I was hoping for a miracle because it's definitely going to draw attention.

I get there and in my head I definitely had thought that Lucy had called all the girls to help her too but we're all alone and as soon as she spots me Lucy gets so happy.

"y/n thank God you're here I was hoping to see you even earlier but it's okay, we're opening in a few hours and we need to get this place ready"

"You mean like clean and other stuff?" She nods "What happened to everyone doesn't this place already have another employees to get it ready?"

"Yes but I'm a woman and whenever I'm in charge not a single male employee does what I order they only listen to our boss and if he isn't around here they don't even bother to show up till it's time to open"

"Seriously? They sound pathetic" Lucy looks really stressed.

"I know right that's why I called you the other girls usually sleep all day to work all night so I got really glad we you picked up your phone I'll do most of the work inside but if you could wait outside for a delivery"

"Lucy, it's okay just breath for a moment" I hold her shoulders and she takes a deep breath "and relax we can do all the work on our own don't worry"

"Thank you y/n if you ever wanna go shopping or something, give me a call it'll be my treat"

I go outside as she asks me to but she didn't even mention what am I supposed to receive but I didn't want to give her more trouble.

I wait for a long time but there's no sign of any delivery the worst part is that it's a little bit cloudy it might rain in a few hours and I'm starting to get cold.

I sit on the edge of the sidewalk when I see a big truck parking next to the bar. Is that it? A man starts walking towards me and that confirms it.

"We got your boxes of Tequila Ley .925, Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne, Diva Vodka, Dalmore 62 that's a special one I've heard it's good ma'am and the last one is Penfold Ampoule just sign here please" Those are brand names? Even the names sound ridiculously expensive. I do as he says and he and another man start getting the boxes out of the truck.

"Now I know why Lucy preferred cleaning inside." I'm left with over forty boxes of expensive liquor that I'm supposed to move from the parking lot to the cellar. I take off my heels so I don't fall down the stairs and break the bottles and my ankles. This is definitely more tough that it looks like I keep going up and down till there's no more boxes on the parking lot I'm left exhausted with trembling legs and arms and I already want to go and take a long nap.

I lay on one of the red velvet sofas and Lucy sits in front of me

"Why you didn't call me to help you?" She was already so stressed and I didn't want to be a burden but I don't say anything "Our boss never makes such big orders unless a big event is coming I didn't know you'll be left with so many boxes and I also didn't see your injured hand I'm sorry" She sounds sincere and I just give her a smile.

"Don't worry about it I needed some exercise"

"But we can't stay here we're actually late to open so I need you to get up"

"What time is it? Did I already take that long?"

"It's 7pm we were supposed to open an hour ago but It's not your fault it was actually mine I took to long washing all the wine glasses"

She gets to the door and removes the lock and I just want the sofa to absorb me or something. It doesn't take too long for the other employees and the rest of the girls to finally get here and after around 30 min this place looks exactly like the first time I saw it. Men everywhere drinking and playing either darts or billiards.

I look around to find Lucy and she's already talking with a man.

So far I'm thankful nobody has asked me to have sex the only men who have approached me was just to flirt, invite me a drink and play billiards even if it was just so they could see my butt it's better than have sex with nasty drunk men.

I leave to the bathroom to get some air and stay away from the noise for a few minutes my knuckles hurt more than they did earlier. Carrying boxes all afternoon was obviously a terrible idea.

I go back and I see a familiar face it's San's friend Wooyoung and another man I don't know I try to avoid him seeing me but it's too late when I hear him calling me.

"You're the girl from the other night aren't you? What was your name" He closes his eyes "y/n! Right!" Shouts Wooyoung and I get closer so he doesn't have to be so loud.

"She's y/n? now I understand" Says the man next to Wooyoung even if they're sitting I can tell he is taller than him.

"Mingi don't be annoying" He tries not to laugh it looks like they're already drunk "By the way we couldn't convince San to come tonight but let me give him a quick call and let him know you're here"

"No no you don't have to" I try to stop him but he already has his phone out.

"San guess who's here she wants to see you" He laughs again he is definitely drunk but not a bad type of drunk. "He hung up on me I can't believe this bastard but don't worry y/n he's probably on his way"

A girl walks past Wooyoung and he forgets about my existence I think it's the same girl he was with last time but I can't remember her name. I look around and the other tall man Mingi left too.

Men keep inviting me drinks I definitely feel uncomfortable but again I rather this than sex. And I also start feeling a little dizzy.

"I can't believe San started liking another girl" I hear a deep voice that startles me I turn around to face him and it's Mingi. "After all he went through I thought this whole women thing was over for him but…"

One of the girls approaches me interrupting Mingi "A man paid for you he is waiting in the golden VIP room and please hurry we can't afford losing a client tonight" I look at Mingi and makes a gesture that indicates that it's okay.

I celebrated too early men not paying for me I jinxed it completely what am I gonna do? I don't want to do this. I walk through the green neoned hallway and I slowly open the door of the golden VIP room.

"I heard you wanted to see me"

A sigh of relief leaves my mouth when I see San. He looks so good he's wearing a black coat that makes him look so mysterious and elegant.

"Actually that was your friend Wooyoung" I say resting my back against the door.

"That's what I thought princess but I couldn't pass the opportunity to see you"

"Mr Choi San I don't know if you remember but the other night I got instructions to treat you like a God.”

He gets closer to me and the smell of whiskey fills the air. He wraps me with his arms and lifts me up I wrap my legs around his waist but he just looks at me with lust in his eyes I take the initiative and kiss him softly. And that feeling appears again it's unknown yet familiar and exciting. I remember where we are and if we're gonna do it I don't want it to be here.

"San let's go to another place." I say and San nods but before opening the door he pulls down my dress as it was before. He holds my non-injured hand and guides me outside where the rain takes us by surprise and we hurry to his car.

"Do you want to go to your house or my house" He asks and I smirk at him getting closer.

"Truth is I can't wait any longer" That's the alcohol talking for me. Those are enough words for San. We jump to the back seat and I sit on his lap he probably sees the desperation in my eyes because he tilts my chin up and kisses me. It’s rough but slow, he has his hands around my hips and I start teasing him grinding against his bulge.

"Princess…" He moans and that sounds so good.

It was obvious that both of us were drunk but none of that mattered right now. I desired him and he desired me. He switched positions resting my back on the seat, now he was on top. He takes off his coat he has a white shirt and black suspenders but my hands are faster than his and I unbutton his shirt revealing his abbs. I leave a trail of kisses first his lips and then his neck then his chest going lower and lower till I reach his pants I glance at him one last time he has his hands on my head caressing my hair. Without hesitation I unbuckle his belt and bring down his pants along with his boxers revealing how hard he is I kiss just the tip and he throws his head back I can feel how desperate he's getting.

"San you want me to keep going?" I whisper and he just nods. "What do you want me to do?"

"Princess please keep going I'm begging you" He sounds so desperate but I do as he says and I take it all at once. He moans aggressively and that makes me so wet, I can feel his legs twitching. He starts pushing my head and playing with my hair I go slow to tease him "You feel so good around me princess don't stop" I start going faster and faster I couldn’t get enough of him he felt so good. "Oh fuck" He groans and looks at me with a smile and kisses me right away. I couldn't believe all of this but I didn't want to stop either. He takes off my dress and I feel so exposed that I start blushing "You're beautiful princess" He's on top of me again I feel like my heart is gonna jump out of me anytime now. He kisses me roughly but there's tenderness in the way he does it. His hands go from my neck to my chest I feel like crying I'm desperate I want him inside of me.

"San please"

"I like that, keep doing that say my name princess" I feel the tip in my entrance God I can't do this anymore I want him inside of me now.

"San please fuck me" I wanted him in me, all at once I didn't care. His weight on top of me felt nice I wanted him even closer even deeper. "Hush" he said, and he kissed my eyelids, then my lips. His strong and gentle hands began to stroke me, his hands, his lips, his tongue this felt like heaven. He pushed further inside of me gentle. Knowing what he was doing. I felt my nipples rise, and it startled me, I felt like I was going to break in half. But it was worth it. He moved his hips faster and I was a moaning mess. I looked directly into his eyes and he held down both of my hands while leaving soft kisses on my lips. He was rhythmic, gentle, moving down my body.

San was making me feel yet another unknown feeling it felt strange and new but it felt extremely good. I throw my head back and let out one last moan there was a sharp brief pain It felt like a big explosion inside of me and then a sweet spasm went through me, no more pain just San's sweetness and tenderness.

156 notes · View notes

heavenlysan · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel Love 5

Words: 1,8k

Chapters:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

(Y/N's POV)

My heart skipped a beat when our eyes made contact with each other. There he was he looked so elegant and clean and his smile made him look so charming and attractive he really is breathtakingly handsome and I do everything in my power to not drop my jaw I surely don't want to make a fool of myself in front of him.

"Hi again" He enters for a moment. "You look spectacular"

"Thanks" I say shyly

"I brought you this" He gives me a bucket of red roses. And those are so beautiful and I'm left speechless this is the first time someone gives me flowers in my entire life and I'm so touched with this nice gesture.

"They're beautiful thank you I-i you didn't have to thank you really. Let me put these on water before we leave I'll be right back" I go to the kitchen and thankfully I find something big enough to put them on water.

"Wait that wasn't everything" He pulls out a small silver box from his pocket. "Close your eyes first" I do as he says and I hear how he opens the tiny box. "Open your eyes" I gasp louder than I mean to. Those are the most beautiful earrings.

"I-i can't accept that those look expensive" I try to close the box again but he doesn't let me.

"Come on princess see this as a thank you for the coffee you made me this morning"

"Harry Winston earrings in exchange of coffee? Choi San you definitely don't know how to make a good deal" I laugh a little and he smiles.

"Can I put them on you?" I nod and I take off my detective earrings that's surely going to be an inconvenience but I there's nothing I can do.

I take a look at myself in the mirror and he gets right behind me staring at me with a peculiar look on his face that I can't describe I turn around to meet his brown eyes and we're so close to each other almost too close.

"Let's go princess" He offers me his arm and I hold him without hesitation.

We walk outside to his car on this warm night and he opens the door for me but before leaving I ask "And where are we going?"

"Our reservation is at 9pm so right now we have time and we're heading to another place but you'll see princess" And he starts the car and I notice a tattoo on his wrist but the car is dark and I can't see what it's of.

"You have a tattoo?"

"You like tattoos?" I nod "Yes, I got them when I was 18" Them then he has more.

"Really? What a coincidence, I got my first tattoo when I was 18 too"

"What a good surprise princess I didn't think you'll be the type to get tattoos" I laugh softly. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"

"That's not fair mine it's not visible but I'll tell you what it is and where it is, deal?"

"Okay" He raises his wrist in front of me so I can get a better view, it's a bird but it looks like it's covering something else. "Now you have to tell me about yours"

I get embarrassed not really wanting to reveal it when I remember what San means but I can't back off "It's a mountain" He looks at me shocked with a smile but turns back to look at the road.

"Like my name?"

"Yeah but that isn't all of it under the mountain it's written Un jour je serai heureuse, it's on my ribs"

"Sounds like it has a big meaning" He says softly

"Kind of I got when I finally got out of a dark place and it gave me hope" And I stop before this gets to deep. "What about yours? does your bird means something special to you?"

He smiles with irony "Not really, I got it to cover something else that I wish I never had on my skin and I picked a bird because my mom used to sing me a song by The Beatles I think"

So I was right it's covering something else I really wonder what it was and why he decided to cover it.

"We're here" He parks the car and I have no idea where we are. "Wait here" He gets out of the car and opens the door for me. "Princess can I put this on you?"

"A blindfold?"

"You're gonna have to trust me" He gives me one of his best dimpled smiles.

For what I know he could be about to push me into the ocean so I can drown. "Don't let me fall then"

"It's okay princess you'll be fine in my hands trust me" He puts the blindfold on me and starts guiding me. He is the closest we've been, I can feel his heart beating fast. We keep walking and I get more and more nervous with each step I hear him opening and closing doors. He probably notices that I'm nervous and gently holds my hand.

"We're here" I try to take off the blindfold but he stops me "Not yet princess it's not ready" He guides me again but this time to sit "I'll be right back" And I'm left alone… I think.

I still have the blindfold on but I can see that I'm no longer in a dark room.

"Okay you can take it off now" I do as he says and holy shit the view leaves me completely speechless and I raise my hand to cover how my jaw dropped.

"A planetarium?"

"Well you see, people say that after an orgasm you're supposed to see the stars but as I said earlier princess I didn't show up at your place to have sex with you but I still wanted you to see the stars or in this case the planets and why not? The whole galaxy" I laugh a little at him and I slightly push his arm.

"That's a little bizarre reason to bring someone to a planetarium" I say as he sits and lays back next to me. "But I really like this I've never been to a planetarium before, since I was a child always wanted to visit one"

He doesn't say anything and we just look at the galaxy on top of us.

"When I was a child I was a nerd for the galaxy" I say without taking my eyes off the galaxy but I can feel how he's looking at me now "It must have been because my childhood sucked and all I wanted was to live in another planet" I stop myself when I realise that I'm sharing real details about me, my childhood was bad.

I look at him and he starts caressing my cheek his touch feels so gentle and soft like he is scared to break me. But we both jump when his phone starts ringing.

He looks at me troubled "Answer it it's okay it might be important"

"Yeah but I rather not" He says and turns off his phone.

He becomes aware of me not wanting to share more details about my childhood so he keeps on talking about his and that's how we spend the rest of the time talking and laughing, he looks more relaxed now than when we talked this morning, earlier he seemed a little bit stiff but still trying to look confident. And I am relaxed too it's really easy to talk with him and I feel safe and that's why I keep screwing up and sharing too much but it's okay because he shares as much as I do. Even though I never had this type of interaction with a man he makes me feel this familiar feeling that I'm unable to describe.

My phone makes a noise notifying that the battery is about to die but before it turns off I see the hour 11pm. I straighten up in my seat and he does the same confused at my reaction.

"It's 11pm" I cover my mouth embarrassed I kept on talking and we missed the reservation.

"Really? I didn't notice time flies talking with you" I lower my head but he softly lifts my chin "Are you upset princess?"

"You had a reservation but I kept on talking and talking and we missed it because of me I just made you waste your money.. I-I'm sorry"

I lower my head again and my heart stops when I feel him hugging me "You really are adorable princess, you don't have to worry about that and you definitely don't have to apologise besides we had a better time here didn't we? here we were completely alone and we got to know each other better" He pats my back and this feels extremely odd it sounds pathetic and sad but at my big age this is the first time I've been hugged that I even feel like crying but I hold back my tears.

"Choi San I never thought you'd be the type to like skinship"

"You know you can call me San right princess?" He proceeds to hold my hand and we walk outside to the parking lot, the way back to my place is just San reassuring me about our lost reservation because I kept on apologising.

We arrive and he leaves me at my door.

"Thank you for tonight I don't think I ever had this much fun" I say and I notice a discreet blush on his cheeks.

"You don't have to say thanks princess, I'm the one that is thankful because you accepted going out for little time with me" He rests his hand on the door's frame and leans a little bit closer towards me. "Goodnight princess" He whispers in my ear.

Even in the shadows of the hallway he still managed to look handsome, his face is so close to mine that I could smell his sweet yet manly cologne I didn't want to admit it but I really didn't want this night to end… our eyes are connected and there's tension a lot of tension, without breaking the eye contact I move my hand to my back and open the doorknob and once the door is slightly open still looking at his brown cat eyes I feel shivers down my spine I get this feeling that makes me unwittingly… kiss him. I can feel it takes him by surprise but he kisses me back, his hand travels to my neck our kiss starts as a soft one but I ask for deeper entrance with my tongue and I get so glad when he accepts it. I can feel how he smiles in the middle of it, my hand moves to his chest and I can feel his heart beating faster and faster. I have this unknown yet familiar feeling again if I had to describe it it felt like flowers blooming or like sunflowers naturally facing the sun or like a nice sunny day, natural. I gently push him when my lungs desperately beg for air.

"Goodnight San"

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Chapter 5 of Cruel Love is up tonight stay tuned 🤗

#author's note #Choi san writings

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heavenlysan · 5 years ago

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Cruel Love [4]

Words: 2,494

Chapters:

1 | 2 | 3

(Y/N's POV)

Through all my life I've been always treated like garbage but tonight… what a fucking night. What a fucking exhausting ugly night. I was kicked in the ribs and slapped on the face I haven't felt so humiliated in a long time if this whole fake identity is gonna keep me feeling this way I don't know what I'm gonna do and for how long I'll be able to keep it, I admit that it could've been worse but it wasn't and that was thanks to Choi San.

At least the way back home was in complete silence this man Wooyoung didn't say much he just gave me his jacket to cover my legs and after dropping me off at home he just waved goodbye and disappeared.

I decided to take a long bath and a shower after that mess. Being around men and being treated like meat and just like shit in general definitely made me upset. But then there was Choi San, his behaviour confused completely an old man got shot by him and then the same old man apologised to him and then the owner he called him Mister and I swear his hold felt shaky he was scared of him too. But to me he was a completely different man he didn't seem scary he was… a gentleman.

My old phone started ringing I tried to reach for it as it kept ringing and vibrating but when I finally got it whoever was calling hung up. I looked at the screen to see who it was. It was Irene. But I didn't call her back because I didn't feel like talking to people right now the exhaustion was draining me completely and I just wanted to sleep.

I dropped on the bed to try to sleep but the only thing on my head was Choi San. If he is a cold blooded murderer the big head of a Mafia and a most wanted why was he so nice and even charming? And why was he so nice to me.

As I kept moving and rolling on my bed to find a good position to sleep I abruptly got up remembering that I forgot to put on all the artefacts that were given to me to record my first meeting with Choi San. I fucked up big time. If I didn't die at the bar I'm surely going to die when the moment to give all my reports to Irene comes.

"You think somebody is going to love you? You really think that? just look at you you're nothing an animal has more value than you do. You're ugly and you don't behave like a normal human being. If someone ever shows affection to you is only gonna be out of pity." I look around and I'm in a big empty room the lights are pretty dim and across the room there's that man laughing hysterically at me, the room feels extremely cold and I'm shivering and crying, as I try to hug myself to make myself warmer I realise that I'm tied up in chair. Why? "y/n you're still pretty naive if you could only be smart enough people would consider adopting you" he laughs "But you're ugly and stupid and that's why you're still here and you'll always be here" The lights go off but they come back on in seconds but now I'm no longer tied up and the man is now dead in front of me. And then I hear in the distance "RUN"

I wake up abruptly when I hear there's someone knocking on the door. I get up to open the door and before opening I check the clock it's 10am? When did I sleep so much?

I look through the peephole and I fall on my butt. What is he doing here? He knocks harder after the noise I made by falling down and I'm unable to comprehend what's going on why is Choi San at my door?

"I'm coming" I run to hide all the papers and my old phone under the mattress making sure this place doesn't look like a detective is living here. And I try to look a little bit decent before opening the door.

I shyly open the door "Hey"

He looks so well dressed he's wearing all black and his shirt is unbuttoned just enough to expose a little bit of chest.

"Hi" He says with a smile on his face, "I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind, Wooyoung told me where you live, I just wanted to make sure you were alright"

"Oh you didn't have to, everything's alright after he dropped me off I just went to sleep" I say awkwardly and then I remember that we're still on the door "Shit I'm sorry you wanna come in? I can make you some coffee" He smiles again and just enters.

"You have a nice place" he says and I get so embarrassed because all my normal clothes and my fake ones are all scattered around.

"I'm sorry for the mess let's stay in the kitchen please"

I'm doing a terrible job I'm supposed to be a confident and sexy woman but instead I'm being my normal awkward self, he's gonna find out that I'm a detective and he's most likely going to kill me.

"Don't worry about that princess I don't mind, it's making you blush and you look adorable"

I don't even want to answer that "So how do you like your coffee?"

"Black is alright" He sits and stares at me.

I try to analyze him he's staring at me but it's not the way my boss stares at me or they way Dylan does or the way any other man has ever stared at me. His stare feels… Kind and just different and Choi San keeps confusing me. I snap back when I get embarrassed and turn around breaking our staring contest.

"By the way, it's good that you're here your friend gave me a jacket last night you can take it with you" I say still not looking at him.

"That was my jacket, before you got on your car I gave it to him for you, your dress looked like it was making you uncomfortable"

"Oh" I genuinely don't know how to keep the conversation going I turn around to face him and he smiles really big… he has dimples, beautiful ones "Thanks and thanks for everything last night" I give him his coffee and I sit down next to him.

He sips the coffee and looks back at me "You were new right?"

"Yeah it was my first day there"

"No no I mean new as a…" He tries to find a better word than prostitute.

"A prostitute"

"A sex worker"

"It's the same thing but yes I'm new why?" I try to figure out where this is going to.

"It's nothing princess" He smiles and flips back his hair "I just knew it the moment I saw you"

And then I laugh not so much since I don't want to offend him "Then I probably looked lost"

"Not exactly princess you looked fierce like you weren't up to let anyone touch you and if someone even dared to you'd probably jump on them, you have this gaze that amazed me"

I look at him almost confused and lost. Choi San what do you mean with that and why did you have to appear here. I know that he's lying just to make me feel better about myself If I had looked fierce like he said nobody would've touch me but two men did.

"But anyways, another reason I'm here is because last night I paid for your services" He looks at me and I freeze completely he wants to have sex? As in right now? If he tries something what am I gonna do? I realise that I probably look like a fool when he starts laughing.

"What things are you imagining in your head? I'm not here to have sex princess I want to take you out for dinner"

"Dinner?"

"Yes" He puts a single piece of my hair behind my ear.

He is so close I can see every detail of his face he has a mole close to his eye and I must admit Choi San is extremely good looking and I kind of want to punch him in the face for that nobody should be that handsome.

"I'll go" I say and he opens his eyes not believing what I just said I give him a shy smile and he does the same.

He finishes his coffee and gets up to the door "I'll come back tonight to pick you up at 7pm" he gently holds my chin and I thoughtlessly hold my breath. "I'll see you later princess" And then he walks away.

I close the door and I drop on the floor holding my legs astonished not knowing what just happened confused it's not even the word to describe what I'm feeling right now what am I even feeling right now?

My old phone starts ringing and it brings me back to this dimension.

"Hello?"

"Miss y/ln, it's Irene I called you yesterday but there was no answer everything went alright? We don't expect you to meet Choi San right away that would be impossible he's definitely unreachable but we'll get ther…"

"I met him" There's a silence on the phone

"You what? You recorded everything right? That's crucial for this investigation"

Fuck

"No I didn't" I pause and I close my eyes with fear "I forgot to put on the mic"

There's another silence. She's pissed.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, today you're completely free I want an extremely detailed report I told you this is important and you're not in the place to fuck this up"

"I'm actually not free I'm seeing him again tonight"

"That is not possible we've been trying to get slightly close to him for the last 2 years and you got this close in one night? There is no way" She pauses "You had sex with him didn't you? After all you're pretending to be a prostitute I guess you played too well your new role"

Her words are hurtful and I take a moment to absorb what she just said.

"Okay I want the report tomorrow morning" Before I speak she ends the call.

No I did not have sex with him you stupid bitch. "you played too well your new role" that was disrespectful and so unprofessional just because she has a higher position than I do more money than I do and more in general than I do doesn't give her the right to talk to me like this.

I get in the shower and after that I quickly grab something to eat if I'm gonna be busy with Choi San and I have to send my report in the morning I need to start writing now.

Choi San

…

Hours pass and absolutely nothing comes to my mind what should I even write? Choi San is a charming man that respects women? They would laugh at me. I can't write about him shooting a man it would be just like the people that tried to report him we have no evidence without evidence we're back to zero I don't know who's the man that he shot to have him as the victim so that's not really an option besides that man looked frightened he didn't even want to make eye contact with Choi San I'm pretty sure he would deny everything or blame someone else.

There's a knock on the door is that him? No way it's still too early and I look like trash. I see through the peephole and there's a delivery guy. He probably has the wrong address but I open the door anyway.

"Hello package for y/n" Says the delivery man.

What?

"You have the wrong y/n then, I didn't order it"

"No ma'am I got specific instructions to send it exactly here just sign here please" Oh shit I don't have a fake signature, I improvise one and the man gives me a big red box I say thanks and I close the door.

I've watched a lot of movies and I just know that this is from him but this can't be good a mysterious box out of the blue is a big red flag, he totally found out about the real me and he probably sent a snake, a deadly one to kill me. I stare for too long at the box across the room he was too nice to be real it was just a facade.

After over thinking for too long I grow a pair and I slowly open the box there's thin paper covering whatever it's inside but thankfully there's no sign of a snake I remove all the paper. It's a dress and at the bottom of the box there's a card.

Just a little something for tonight you can wear this or whatever you want, I know you'll look beautiful regardless of what you choose

San

Wait… I take a few steps back not believing what I'm seeing. I jump on the bed and I put a pillow on my face and I let out a big and loud scream. First of all what the fuck.

I get up again and I hold the dress pressed against my body in front of a mirror it's a beautiful tight black dress with long sleeves and exposed shoulders. It's so pretty and it isn't too short and that's such a relief it's the perfect length for me.

It's 6pm he'll be here in an hour so I have to hurry up. I put on the dress and must say I don't look bad at all it fits so well it's as if it was designed just for me I check tutorials on the Internet to do my makeup no the one I'd usually wear to work or any other simple day but something more fitting to the occasion. I look at myself in the mirror I feel weird in all this since I don't think I've ever looked like this but I feel confident and happy with myself.

I look up to the clock and I apparently took too much time on my appearance it's almost 7pm and he'll be here any moment now. I run back to the room opening the briefcase and search for the artefacts to actually record my meeting with Choi San this time I grab the mic and the mini camera that look like earrings and I put them on.

I hear a soft knock on the door and I stare at myself one last time on the mirror and I turn on both the mic and the camera before finally opening.

Oh shit

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