#friends car self drive cars
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i think everybody should think about how much of a privilege driving is before they judge people who don’t drive for being immature or whatever. like do you not realize that not everyone had a high school with driver’s ed or parents/older relatives who could teach them, not everyone had time to learn when they were younger, not everyone can afford a car and car insurance and any repairs that a car might need, not everyone lives in a place that is drivable anyway, and not everyone has good vision or a healthy enough brain and/or body to drive. and nobody needs to explain to you why they don’t drive! all you need to know is that the can’t, don’t want to, or it doesn’t make sense for them at this current time in their lives. fuck off!!!!! the response to inadequate public transportation isn’t that everyone should drive instead!!!!!! also everybody complains about bad drivers but people are incentivized to drive regardless of their actual driving ability because it’s shameful not to drive even if it’s a personal choice. and like maybe some people are just not self aware about their own driving abilities but some people just don’t understand that they are in control of a large machine that is dangerous if they don’t operate it properly and they have to be more responsible for the people they’re putting at risk because they don’t care enough to pay attention or follow the rules of the road or keep their tempers under control while they’re behind the wheel. anyway not everyone can or should drive, that’s all
#apropos of nothing i just was thinking about how judgmental my ex and her friends were in college that i didn’t drive#and i was not as bothered by that as i should’ve been lol#because i was low key deeply embarrassed about it so i thought it was kind of fair that they were being dicks about it#it was mostly this one guy. i tried to explain my reasoning but he just didn’t get it and kept pushing that it was dumb not to drive#and like. yeah sometimes it can be limiting but for most of my day to day life it’s not a problem at all#having a car would be a bigger problem to figure out rn#anyway now i think he should just go to hell#he was kind of judgmental a lot actually and had a pretty big ego imo with no reason to be that self centered#my ex was kind of egotistical too but at least she was an extremely interesting and bright individual#it was grating that she thought she was the most interesting person in the room all the time but she actually was lol#anyway. whatever this isn’t about her it’s about ME and not driving#it’s not gonna happen until i have enough money for a car and time to learn how to drive#and probably not until i actually get assessed (+ treated if diagnosed) for adhd bc my biggest fear is being a distracted driver#if anyone has a problem with that they can suck my dick#anyway. anyway.#that’s all i guess#i fucking hate drivers rn the drivers in my city are nuts
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Got up early (for me), ate a light and healthy breakfast, applied to some jobs, took a long mental health walk with the dogs, gave one of them a bath, and even did some phone calls and messaging regarding my medication and pharmacy problems and managed to sort it out without breaking down!!! And! Showered!! Kicking ASS at mental health today
#im studying myself like a bug. with no judgement or compulsive self hate when i see the results. and then doing something different based on#those results#and its working#ive noticed that im much more productive when i have someone else to help or listen to. its a little uh sad because im not easily able to#to take care of myself and do things for MYSELF. but if its for someone else then its like i gain momentum#going out to clean out MY car? well i dont care how gross it is im not worth the effort.#cleaning out my car for my brother who i drive to therapy every other week? fuck yes its going to be nice and clean because therapy is impo#rtant and i want to help you stick with it and so we make it not a chore but lighthearted sibling time#like do you get it#anyway slow progress is still progress#the number of good days are slowly catching up to the number of bad days#post beginning of the pandemic 2020 was so brutal on me. moving back in with my parents especially#but i have a plan now . a real one. and friends to help me as well !#oops rambling in the tags haha#long tags
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And now, for the results:
Apart from just over a third of you (which I am skeptical of your honesty), it seems everyone has some kind of computer issues. At least at some point.
So, why was I asking about this? Here is your answer.
These results are exactly why I am strongly resistant to self-driving cars being unleashed on the world!
Self-driving cars are entirely computer controlled. For them to be safe, those computers need to be infallible. Yet, as far as I know, there has never been a computer in existence that didn't have occasional problems, glitches, or even crash entirely. Especially not with long-term use.
Even if the software is perfectly written and coded, hardware wears out. Sensors get weak and die. Cameras get damaged. Storage and memory can only be accessed, read, and written on the various sectors of the drives so many times before they become corrupted. So the cars, or at least their components, would need regular replacement and upgrades to continue functioning properly. Which would hopefully be done in advance of the failure (at an expensive cost), and not after something goes horribly wrong.
Not to mention, as with every computer, phone, or almost any electronic device, whenever software is upgraded, it increases the possibility of "bugs" or conflicts in the code. It has happened numerous times that various companies have pushed out an OS update and ended up "bricking" devices and rendering them useless. At least when it's just an Xbox or cellphone, there is minimal risk of someone ending up badly injured or killed in a crash.
As a side-note, I don't only feel this way only about self-driving cars. I also have this feeling about our increasing dependence on the "safety features" that are constantly being added to newer "regular" cars each year. That automatic braking feature you rely on to prevent you from rear ending someone or backing out in to moving cross traffic, it will fail eventually and you will crash. Unless you are paying attention and maintaining full control of your car yourself. You know, the traditional, old school way of driving.
This is basically a long-winded way of saying I believe we have an extremely long way to go before I will ever trust anything other than an attentive person behind the wheel of any vehicle.
#personal#mine#self driving cars#I do not want them#I actually enjoy driving#I just hate traffic#poll results#survey results#technology is not always your friend#you need to trust your own instincts and training more than any computer
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a little collection of cass and audy hanging out, being coworkers,
#cassaudy#counterweight#friends at the table#fatt#my art#old stuff - 2019 2020#fish and robot is the ideal divine universe combination it would seem#cassaudy...balence....#a funny thing is that i designed audy's head based on self-driving cars at the time but i think they might not look that way anymore?#obsolete audy RIP
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got home and immediately scribbled a meme
space friends belong to @8um8le
#2024#idk what made me think to draw this while i was in the car driving home#stellar city#sc space friends#sf hills#sf night#sf spot#sf crown#i also dunno why this would make crown flustered but it felt right#yknow when i said i was going to draw night this is not what i meant- i was going to make an oc to draw kissing him#i need to go draw my self insert with geo and sunny now bc i was at a wedding and miserable so i need some dopamine#anyway have a great night/day/whatever xoxoxo mwah
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Trying to not be sad bc it’s unreasonable and unfair
#Aaron’s been so sick. couldn’t bring me into work today.#but now’s he’s up and playing his moba#I feel so fucking alone tbh. it’s my fault bc I’m a bad friend to my non romantic relationships like.#but like. idk though#my other issues with this can’t be solved by friendship#he’s been sick and basically the second he’s healthy he will have to go to Alabama for work#I kinda doubt I’m gonna get any intimacy before then. it’s been a bit#which is another can of worms#but like overall not really his fault or anything so I feel like an evil selfish predator 🤷#and like. I don’t wanna ask him to get off the game bc tbh I value free will and I want him to spend time with me bc he wants too#plus it feels unfair bc he puts up with my weed over use and tbh I’d probably be having#an easier time keeping myself company and staying self entertained if I did currently have weed#but we don’t have a car and since he’s been too sick to drive me most days#I can’t get any
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If you can not forgive you are destined to never heal.
Like, sorry, you can not be mad at someone for making a mistake and then be angry about it for 3 years and be like "why am i not over this".
#friend of a friend died two years ago driving under the influence of some injection. ran a red in the dark and wraped her car around a pole#friend came to me last night while i was mid break down and explained his breakdown.#he apparently introduced her to the drug and she got more on her own#got addicted and was sent to rehab. my friend self admitted to keep her alive.#they worked together on steps to get off hard drugs.#one of the rules is that you can never ever drive if you happen to be on them. not even like one puff of weed or half a Mike's hard.#she got more of the drug when she got home after about a month. some jackass who lived across the street.#needle was dirty and it felt itchy. told my friend about it. he said that she should go to the hospital.#so she got in her car and drove it. without her lights on#friend said she broke a rule and did it on purpose (she didn't. she was just high and panicked.)#said he'd never forgive her for taking his best friend away in such a betrayal. led my friend back to drugs.#said that every year her memory still forces him into agony and he feels he needs something stronger to dull the pain of his heartbreak.#i told him to take double his usual dose of melatonin and a drink of whiskey. came back to me this morning and said that i was right.#he still said he'd never forgive her though. told him about something else I'm going through and asked ''is that what you want?#agony every time someone mentioned her name or at the very least once a year?''#he's saying he's pondering on that.#meanwhile work's going on and I'm under 200 mgs of caffeine already and 3 hours of sleep while having 10 more hours to go.#happy thursday
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#i havent come to terms with the fact that one of the people i held closest to my heart has graduated and i wont see him for a good while#until i can shell out the money to fly to singapore. i get the feeling this is the conductors first shift on the train.#(all the black and breathing rapture) so welcome to charing cross? are you ready? an adminstration error#you are covered in the metallic stench of the rusty chains of command. its time to make four thousand pounds. i thought of you.#here in the garden of england she scrapes the shards of glass from the black sea. first with a spoon and then a knife and the with the#hairdryer that belonged to his mother. in the back of his car i can feel the stutter and jutter of the wheels the same shaky-straight path#of a beginner driver. i love you and the trees. hes finally growing his hair out. here is an enclosed metal room#more man than machine. i wont see you for another year. driving dangerously close to an 8-wheeled tall box i feel safer with you#than i ever will at home. weve already started a campfire in the backseat of your car ive got you didnt i?#we laid in the luxury of a four-person tent next to the mass of campfires and stars and i told her i thought you hated me#I've never hated you. ive never hated anyone except my father. here is how to forgive unspeakable things.#i am really all that ive been looking for. youre not a narcissist baby youve just got a lying problem. take molten gold#and glue the fragments of yourself back together. we cant stop crashing into the sky. drink wine straight from the grapes in the vineyard#and when you give it give it all. studies have shown you view your own future self as a seperate person#and oftentimes you have less empathy for this other person than for a friend. it is time to extend your kindness unequivocally.#the aviation tax attorney on the train floating on water told us a short story of her life. a smile full of charisma and#feeling old retiring at 47. theres a lot about you we shouldn't know. GRAB A GUN AND SHOOT THE IMAGE OF YOURSELF STRAIGHT IN THE MIRROR.
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if i could go back and change one thing about my choices in the past decade I would force myself to be more committed to finishing learning to drive and getting my driver's license. while legitimate things came up every year that made it challenging to find time, when i was a teenager the excuses were flimsy and i could have put much more effort in to making time. Or even when I was in undergrad. because not having a car and not having a license is fucking up my whole adulthood and trying to schedule a driving school on top of grad school is fucking hard and so many jobs require a license i have a hard deadline to get a license by. And i know my reasons for putting off learning to drive years ago and they are not good enough to justify the inconvenience I have wrought upon my life. Plus if i had done it years ago it would have been taking the test in sprawling NV in my parent's car and it would have been much easier than taking it in an urban city in FL and learning from strangers instead of my dad.
#words cannot express how frustrated i am with myself for digging myself into this hole.#listen some of my self hatred is irrational I will admit that but this one is very very rational and tangible. I created this problem#it is not going to cost money and time that i barely have to solve#some of it was me wanting to goof around in summer rather than get in a car to drive when i was like 17 etc#i had little motivation to drive when i was a teenager bc my friends lived further away than i would be allowed to drive
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yall i feel bad. BAD bad. i dont know why
#idk why im telling tumblr this#these people have been setting me off more than usual#everything feels More. too much. everything they say makes me want to scream#ive been thinking about my family. i miss them all so much#i cant get a job and i want my dad#i feel like a failure. i feel like im trapped in a cage.#i get in my car and drive into a town i hate to get a drink and make myself feel better for a moment#then i come back here. to hell#to my own personal purgatory#it feels like ive been living every moment in waking dread#my anxiety hasnt gone away its just shifted. im not scared for myself anymore#my paranoia used to be so self centered#now i check my phone sick to my stomach hoping my friends are okay. hoping theyre safe.#my mind never stops moving and never stops imagining horrific things#im so tired. im so tired.#vent tw
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals & followers!! <3
AW i love this!! sorry I am late on the reply here. thank you for asking, friend!! five things that make me happy??? okay, let's dig in.
the way my cat cuddles against my pillow every morning
cooking with my forever plus one
playing crib with my best friend
a crispy diet coke on a hot day
the little 'take one, leave one' book libraries in my neighbourhood!!
#these are recent ones off the top of my head!!!#but also singalongs in the car#and a delicious cold brew#and buying a new book or just walking around Indigo#daydreaming about vacations#laughing with my best friends#a cozy sweatshirt#hearing my nieces and nephews laugh#a good glass of wine during a family dinner#a YUMMY loaf of bread#when people leave nice comments on my fics#screaming along to the bridge of getaway car with j#long drives with my best frieds#when a stray cat says hello#my neighbour who gives us veggies from her garden#j's laugh#simmer in real life#a reminder#note to self
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Me telling my best friend how much better I'm feeling compared to how shit I felt at my worst four years ago
My brain: LAUNCH THE INSECURITIES, IMPOSTER SYNDROME, AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES!
#literally told my friend how much better im feeling#within a week i feel like im bothering them#one comment combined with one long week created suisidal ideation!#didnt realize how long it had been since i had daily suicidal thoughts#hreat trip#spend a practically silent 45 minute car ride wanting to die and drafting notes#also had to reflect on how awful i am as a person#great trip!#glad i drove to see deadpool woth my two best friends that wanted me to save gas by driving 20 miles farther one way than carpool with them#we have spent a lot of time together this week so i guess after today theyll need a break#watch out for more piece of shit depressed self doubt posts!#maybe i should see a therapist?#oh well
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I domt believe in relying on medications but honestly if they medicated me I'd probably just be fine. Like sometimes I think that my problem is that I'm the only sober person in this medicated world. I honestly dont even get high on life anymore. I get high on dragon ball sometimes. I dont want drugs but if they could facilitate a leap of faith into the better unknowns then honestly that's what they're for yknow. Wouldnt be forever. Unfortunately I have no money
#1. buy car 2. stop being aftaid to drive it 3. pick a career path OR drop out of school and do smth else#4. scrounge together smth that resembles financial security 5. have friends 6. love ❤ 7. ??? 8.??? <- The Eightfold Path#Honestly having the self-faith and bravery to experiemtn with legal drugs and/or discuss prescription medications w a doctor is like#well it says smth abt you i think. That youre comfortable in your body enough to try fucking it all up .
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𝐗 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
—jjk men and their favorite x rated videos of you.. nsfw twitter [p⚝rn]
ft. gojo, geto, toji, nanami, sukuna, choso
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
Gojo making you ride him
Gojo’s obsessed with how good you taste
Gojo breeding you
Gojo fucking you from the back
Gojo taking you for a ride in his car
Your step bro Gojo got distracted while teaching you to play the piano
Gojo fucking you in an elevator
The reason Gojo invested in a self driving car
Gojo can’t stop messily breeding you full
Gojo eating you out in a new position
Fucking your son’s best friend Gojo
Gojo overstimulating you with his fingers
Gojo waking you up on the weekend
𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
Geto spanking you on camera
Geto loves your ass
Geto giving you backshots
Geto fucking you in his car before he brings you home to your parents
Your fuck buddy Geto is careful to not cum in you
Older bf Geto fingering you
Geto taking his anger out on you
Geto making you suck him off
How older bf Geto eats you out
Geto recording him fingering you in the mirror
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
Dilf! Nanami’s cock is too big to fit, so you improvise
Nanami fucking you
Riding Nanami’s face
Fucking professor Nanami
Nanami eating you out
Nanami playing with his baby girl’s pussy
Nanami breeding your cunny full
Nanami making you squirt through your panties
Taking Nanami’s thick cock
Your boss Nanami filling you, his work slut up
Nanami’s big cock bulging in your belly
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈
Toji fingering you in the store
Toji making you get a back tattoo for when he fucks you from behind
Toji’s way of stopping you from squirming
Fucking your best friend’s dad Toji
Dilf! Toji fucking you in the ass so your boyfriend doesn’t notice
Your dad’s best friend touching you
Car sex with older bf Toji
A compilation of all the videos Toji’s recorded fucking you
Toji overstimulating you with a vibrator
Toji fucking you in handcuffs
Bouncing on professor Toji’s cock
𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀
Sukuna putting a leash round your neck
Sukuna fucking you, his best friend’s sister
A walk with your boyfriend Sukuna turns into him cumming on your face
Sukuna making you watch porn and telling you to recreate it
Sukuna fucking you slow
Riding dad’s best friend Sukuna
Sukuna fucking and breeding you hard
Sukuna cumming from fucking your panties
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎
Giving Choso a handjob
Choso licking your clit after cumming in you
Choso eating you out
Choso asking his step sis to pull down her panties for him
Giving Choso a thigh job
Choso cumming from rubbing his clothed dick on your clothed ass
Choso making both you and him cum from just a vibrator
Choso making you squirt whiles he breeds you
Choso sucking on your tits as you ride him
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#geto smut#geto suguru smut#choso smut#choso kamo smut#sukuna#sukuna smut#toji smut#nanami kento smut#nanami smut#toji fushiguro smut#gojo satoru
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shouldn’t have — lumberjack!logan x fem!reader
listen usually i would hate this plotline but like ?? are yall seeing what im seeing ?? feminism exists and is alive and well until we see this man and suddenly we’re all damsels in distress
as always, warnings: reader was in an abusive relationship, logan the savior (i have issues ok), dom logan, bratty reader, choking, slapping, rough p in v sex, swearing, breeding kink tee hee
mdni!!!1!!1!1!1!11!
————
you had been with your boyfriend — well, now ex-boyfriend — for about three months before you had noticed something was wrong. just a few things, you thought. nothing bad. nothing to worry that much about. it felt like he was doing so many things too much; sleeping, drinking, smoking, video games… yelling…
you thought by getting him a job with some men you knew would be fine — that it would solve every problem. why would it not have? he just needs a job, you thought. just something to get him up in the morning… something to give him purpose…
you were wrong — oh, you were so wrong.
at first, everything was fine — up every day, home every night, and only so many hours at the end of the day could be dedicated to all of those bad little habits you hated so, so much. he was drinking, smoking, playing video games so much less — you almost forgot why you were so annoyed and insistent on this new job in the first place.
...until he stopped coming home before midnight.
...until the yelling got worse.
until he got worse.
you almost left him — almost. until, one night — he asked if you could pick him up from the bar after work so he wouldn’t have to wait before he could drive home. you could've squealed you were so relieved, so happy. it seemed like a step in the right direction, and you were hopeful. you thought the kinks were working themselves out, making it so you could finally work out your issues with him. like the good girlfriend you were, you drove to the bar promptly for half past ten and waited in the parking lot for him.
after a few minutes, you sent a text.
a set of ten minutes had passed as you sat there, waiting.
...then another.
...and then another.
you called him, but there was no answer.
no fucking answer.
you ground your teeth when the call was sent to voicemail. voicemail? fucking voicemail? you stared down at the screen like it mocked you — showing you the reflection of your face in the glass like you were some joke, and embarrassment flooded through you.
all you could think about was self-respect — how if you didn't have any respect for yourself, how could your boyfriend respect you? how could anyone respect you?
it brought tears to your eyes, but you blinked them away.
and there went the last straw…
you got out of the car and slammed the door. you were buzzing with anger, shivering like you were cold. anger filled you, but adrenaline was what carried you on its back through the doors of the bar and past its threshold. it was the only friend you had in that moment, and you grasped at its hand — letting it lead you to your doom.
what you didn't expect what form your doom would take.
…your doom came in the form of a hot blonde with legs and cleavage for days.
she laid horizontal across the bar — shot glass in her belly button, line of salt up her abdomen. you watched a man, dirty from the work day, eye the blonde with hunger in his eyes. he wrapped his dry lips around the rim of the shot glass, and threw his head back. almost immediately, he licked the salt trail with a flat, heavy tongue. the blonde above him giggled at the texture of his tongue on her tanned skin — and once he was done, she grasped both sides of his face and pulled him towards her.
that’s when you saw the guy’s face — smiling and drunk — your boyfriend’s face. men around them hollered as he pushed her against the bar top, kissing her hard. all you could do was stare — adrenaline left you high and dry when you needed it most. you were just cold now — cold, lonely, and embarrassed. so embarrassed. so fucking embarrassed.
“you’re his ol’ lady… aren’t you?”
your head cocked to a stool near you, occupied by one of his coworkers. he had a cigar in his mouth as he cocked an eyebrow at you, barely looking at you. his hand was around two fingers of whisky — and it had never looked so tempting.
“was,” you whispered, politely correcting him and locking eyes with him.
“good,” was all he said before he threw back the rest of his whisky and stood from his chair.
you were still in shock, frozen in place. all you could do was watch as the man pushed through the crowd, and stood in front of your boyfriend. you stared at the man's shoulders — covered by thin flannel that would never stand a chance against the muscles underneath. you gulped as he stood toe to toe with your ex-boyfriend, but the man didn't look half as scared as your ex did.
“you’re fired," was all the man said.
everyone around the man, including the blonde and your boyfriend, went silent. jaws were on the floor — no one knew what to do. what could they do? they weren't expecting this — not when the fun had been going on for so long. the man couldn’t have cared less — he waited for a split moment, awaiting any sort of rebuttal from your ex-boyfriend… and that was when your ex noticed you, staring at him. instead of running to you, begging for forgiveness… he started begging the man that had fired him for his job back.
you scoffed and rolled your eyes. of course.
“not happening, bub,” he spat. “now — i’m going to go buy your ex-girlfriend a drink with your last paycheck. ask your buddies for a loan on the tab with the blonde."
and with that, the man turned on his heel back towards you. when he turned, he didn’t bow his head or look at the floor — he looked straight at you. and for the first time that night, you saw what he really looked like — a man. the man radiated masculinity like he was the poster child for the hard working all-american man. worn jeans, work boots, faded flannel… the works. his body was thick with muscle, and impressive sight that was definitely thanks to his job. the years showed on his face — but in a way that was handsome and reliable. life seemed to have chewed him up and spit him out, but he didn’t look the type to go down without a fight.
with a moment or two, he was in front of you. he sat down on the stool, and patted the one next to him — gesturing to you.
“what’re you having, sweetheart?”
you stared up at him with confusion and surprise in your eyes, but a blush across your cheeks. your mouth fell open, stammering — as if you hadn’t been embarrassed enough tonight. your eyes darted to your ex — the intoxication starting to wear away as realization set in. he lost his job, girlfriend, and ego all in a matter of a moment — and you knew how these things ended.
“i think i should —“
“he won’t bother you,” the man responded, gesturing to the bartender for two more drinks.
you took a cautious step back — eyes on your ex who was talking with his work buddies now, eyeing you and the man. the blonde had been discarded, scoffing as she found herself in a similar position as you — chewed up and spit out, but not willing to fight.
you were fumbling for your keys now, anxiety beginning to take over. you were shaking as you took several steps back, not knowing whether to run or start crying was the better answer.
the man who had stood up for you then stood, sighing. he saw your ex walking towards you now, and he rolled his eyes in the way an owner would be annoyed with a dog going back for something they were explicitly told not to. the man drank his whisky, and handed you the other glass.
the man only had a take one step towards your ex before your ex had stopped in his tracks, eyes and mouth wide.
“got all the time in the world, bub,” the man spoke. the man had his fists balled at his sides — and, within an instant, sharp bones almost two feet long had sprung from between his knuckles. the man didn’t wince — but everyone else did. with a cocked head, he then continued, “do you?”
when your ex didn’t move, and the man was satisfied that none of his friends were going to make a move… he turned on his heel and stalked back toward you.
“finish your drink, sweetheart — we’re leaving.”
within five minutes, you had finished your drink before you went outside. there was logan — same bone swords unsheathed, but now stabbing into black tires on a familiar truck. you smiled — now your ex didn’t have a ride home.
“can i give you a lift?” you asked.
few hours later — there you sat with the man, who you now knew as logan. you were on one side of the couch — you curled in the corner on the end, and him in the middle turned towards you. the alcohol was flowing, so you didn’t need a blanket over you to keep warm. now, sat across from logan, both of you appearing to feel the effects of whisky — all you wanted was his warmth.
“good hostess,” he spoke as you refilled his whisky glass.
you blushed. “nothing compared to what you did for me back there — least i can do.”
“i gotta ask —“ he said, taking a sip. “why him?”
you shrugged. “guess i learned the hard way you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.”
he looked at you then — almost through you. you wondered if he could see the same ghosts in your eyes that you could see in his.
he shook his head then, chuckling — appearing to want to break the heavy air. “you’re too young for talk like that, doll — won’t allow it.”
you returned his laugh, realizing you were happy for the subject change. “not every man is like you, logan — first one i met that would’ve done what you did.”
he set his glass down then, and you were struck with the realization of how broad his chest and shoulders were. how the fabric of the stretched across his muscles. how heavy the scent of whisky, maple, wood, and cigar smoke hung on his clothes. you stopped staring at him to meet his eyes then, but he was already looking at you.
logan caught you staring. a blush rose to your cheeks.
“there was a time where men i knew would’ve killed to be served whisky by a pretty girl like you,” he spoke, voice gruff. “time where i would’ve.”
you smiled, insecure under his gaze. “you’re easy on the eyes, lo — can’t imagine you had to put much effort into getting with someone you wanted.”
“oh, doll —“ he spoke, leaning in towards you. his face was barely inches from you, and you wanted him to touch you. you wanted those big, calloused hands on your soft skin — wanted it so fucking bad — but he wouldn’t put them on you. not yet. not quite yet. “sweet, pretty things like you? worth all of the effort in the fucking world.”
you felt one of his hands — his large fucking hands — slide down from your knee, to the side of your thigh. he squeezed lightly on the flesh, loving the feeling of your soft skin. you met his eyes then, dark and hungry. he wasn’t hesitating — he was waiting for your approval or disapproval. he wanted you to know he wanted you, but also that you had the final say.
“y’gonna let me show you how a real man’s supposed to treat a woman?” he asked, tucking a hair behind your ear. “hmm, sugar? climb in my lap, and i’ll show you.”
curiosity killed the cat, but not before it found out what the secret was.
logan fell back against the couch — man spreading, hands on the tops of his thighs with his eyes on you. only on you. there was no more of the adrenaline from earlier, no — but there was the confidence from the warm, dark liquid flowing through your veins. it gave you the push you needed, making you throw a leg over his hips, and sit your ass down right over the tent in his jeans.
“that’s a girl, yeah…” he spoke, his hands ran up and down your thighs. his eyes were raking up and down your body in the way that your ex had looked at the blonde, and it only added to your confidence. you wanted to be wanted — and logan made you feel more sexy than your ex ever had. “tell me, sweetheart — when you look at me, what do you see?”
“a man,” you respond, before you can stop yourself.
he raises his brow then — surprised, but not displeased at your answer. “ — yeah? and what makes me a man?”
you thought for a second, as the alcohol clouded your ability to be witty. you couldn’t pinpoint why — you just knew. while you were thinking, almost stammering — you felt his hand snack underneath your skirt and find your lacy panties. you were struck with the sudden realization of how badly you wanted to show him what they looked like, convinced he would like them — but he wouldn’t let you take off your skirt. you eyed him, confused.
“not yet, doll,” he spoke, voice hoarse. his eyes never left yours. “not taking off this skirt — no matter how much i want to — until you know for sure that i deserve to.”
“logan…!” you grumbled, throwing your head back in mock laughter and frustration. “y’gonna make me beg? come on —"
“beg? not tonight, darlin’,” he laughed. you felt one of his fingers prod at your folds through your panties, poking through your lips to find the hidden sensitive parts of you. you sucked in a sharp breath at the feeling — curious and turned on. “but you are gonna tell me everything you’re going to look for in a man from this point on. when i’m satisfied, then i’ll let you cum.”
“didn’t think you liked games,” you breathed, curiosity, pleasure, and anxiety mixing in your blood.
“i don’t,” he said with finality and sincerity. “i teach lessons, sweetheart — and now i’m gonna teach you how a man should treat you."
“yeah?” you breathed, keeping your lips barely centimeters from his. “and how are you going to accomplish that?”
“rock those pretty hips against my hand, baby —“ he spoke, pressing his fingertips against your clothes core. “and tell me types of guys you're goin' to avoid."
you went to question him, confused — but he pulled you right back in. he pressed two finger tips against your panties, creating the most devious fiction against your sensitive bud. you jumped at the feeling, but he kept your hips steady.
“there’s one —“ he chuckled. “didn’t know how to touch you, yeah? so sensitive — ‘s like he never did.”
“he didn’t know how,” you whined, rolling your hips against his fingers and letting your eyes drift close.
“not surprised,” he grunted. “never a good worker either. so, what’re we avoiding next time, sugar, huh? tell me.”
“i don’t know… i don’t…” your mind was warm and fuzzy now, leaving you unable to answer.
he swatted at the flesh of your ass then, causing your hips to jerk and your eyes to open in shock. he looked up at you, unfazed. “you don’t wanna cum, do you? want me to use you just like him — leave that pussy wet and wanting?”
you giggled. “don’t tempt me.”
his hand reached for your throat, an evil smirk on his lips. “you’re a naughty fucking thing.”
you nodded feverishly, loving the grip on your throat. “for you, lo. i’ll avoid lazy men, i promise —“
“you better,” he warned, his eyes looking up at you with hunger. his wingers were rubbing hard against your clit, and you wanted him oh, so badly to dip into the fabric and roll around your clit or supple hole. “another — tell me. now.”
“careless,” you whined, your hips jerking. “i’ll avoid careless men, logan, i promise —“
“fuck that,” he spat, the grip tightening on your throat. “you’re mine, darlin’.”
he threw you down onto the couch then, landing on your back with a thud. he gave up on his own game, and your confidence bloomed within you. to be so sweet, so pretty — to make a man like logan stumble? forget what he was doing, all because he wanted you so bad? to be in between your plump thighs, round lips, and encircles in those pretty arms? your cheeks were burning pink as your gaze came back into focus above you. there stood logan, on his knees on the couch, as he unbuttoned his flannel with an animalistic chase in his eyes. you couldn’t help but put yourself on your elbows, rubbing your thighs together to keep the friction and heat up. but your eyes? oh, your perfect, big eyes? they were on logan’s. they told you everything you needed to know as he tore off his belt.
“you want me to use you, baby?” he asked as he unzipped his belt. “that’s what my girl wants?”
“by you, lo — a real man,” you breathed, stroking his cock and lining his cock up with the entrance of your pussy.
“good fucking girl,” he growled, plunging his cock into your pussy.
his hips snapped against yours, causing you to jump into the arm rest. you held onto the arm rest, your pillow, to keep you steady. logan liked the sight — pretending that you had your hands tied up above your head as your breasts lifted with your arched back, preening upwards just for him. he watched the shivers run up and down your spine, causing your nipples to peak. he watched them hungrily as they bounced for him and only him, wanting to pull both into his mouth and show you just how greedy real men are.
and when he saw you release the grip held by one hand, and watched it travel down the length of your abdomen, with the end goal of your clit — he swatted your hand away, angry. his gaze — it screamed how fucking dare you?
“fuck off with that shit —“ he spat, pushing your hand back down to hold onto the head rest. “this first time, darlin’? i make you cum — and you lie there, and you take it.”
you whined at his words, your big beautiful eyes on his hungry irises. you folded your lip in between your teeth before you curled your hips up to meet his, wrapped your legs around his hips. never had you been treated with such confidence, such ease — but you wanted him to work for it, see how far he could go to prove to you that he was the best. “you promise, old man? you can keep up?”
the air went still then — but your smirk didn’t falter. it should've, you would realize later. you should've been afraid of the man, knowing what he was capable of when someone tested him. the difference was... logan welcomed the spice in you, as long as it was his to silence. logan’s eyes went wild and dark then, realizing the challenge. he held back so much with you, trying to keep the man awake and the beast dormant — but the greedy girl in you just kept knocking.
he flipped you then — forcing you onto all fours. he bent you over the arm rest, your throat in the crook of his elbow. his free hand groped and pulled at the flesh of your ass, letting go only to smack it. smacksmacksmack. his tough and calloused skin would leave marks, you were sure of it — but it only made your pussy wetter. the sounds were pornographic, filling the room and his nose and ears.
“wasn’t much of a brat tamer, was he?” he spat, fucking into your puffy pussy. his grip on your throat wasn’t tight, but it kept you in control. there was no moving, and there definitely wasn’t enough air to mouth off. “nothing sweet about you — just a greedy fucking girl with the neediest fucking pussy. i'll get'ya there, doll — don't worry now."
you held onto his forearm for dear life, trying to keep your balance as you arched your back up into him. you felt your juices leak around around your sopping wet cunt and down both of your thighs and logan’s. the air was thick with your scent and sounds, pricking at logan’s heightened hearing. your whines — oh, your whines, your fucking whines! — were filling his ribcage and warming every part of him that wasn’t touching you. his lips were sucking at your neck, nipping at the skin . he felt the vibrations of your moans against his lips and he had to fight every instinct to sink his teeth into your shoulder, ruining you for everyone else.
“please — please —“ you choked, smacking against the arm rest. he pulled your free arm back behind your back, forcing you to take everything he gave you.
“not stopping until that pussy creams, baby,” he spat into your ear. his hips were relentless against yours, plunging in and out of your wet folds as he kept them tight and controlled for his use. “when that dumb fuck comes back, to get his stuff? i want him to know who’s pussy this is now. that fucked out look on your face? yeah? that’s all that sack of shit is gonna see before i slam the door in his face.”
“fuck, logan —“ you whimpered. “i’m so close. f-feels so good. please, don’t stop —“
“i know, baby, i know….” he moaned. you reached underneath him, grabbing at his heavy sack and rolling his balls with your finger tips. he jumped at the feeling, curious how a fucked out little thing like you still had so much energy to tease. “never ends with you, huh, does it? always wan’ more?”
“cum with me, lo —“ you choked out. “come on — make me feel it.”
he smacked your ass once more, grasping onto the rippling skin. you could feel your tight muscles, like cement — knowing they would be sore in the morning. you rolled his balls in between your fingers, keeping as controlling of a grip on him as he kept on you. his breaths were ragged against your neck, broken and feverish. your eyes were screwed shut, trying to find his lips in the darkness as you fought with and against logan.
“fill my pussy, baby,” you whined, reaching to any part of him you could grab.
when he saw your eyes, most of the begging in them rather than your tone — he couldn't help it. it took over him before he could even realize it was happening. how could he deny you so,ething you wanted so badly? asked for so sweetly? logan came before you did — much to his dismay, but only for a moment. he felt his skin shiver before his hips snapped forward once to meet yours, trapping you against the arm rest. he rutted into you as the walls of your pussy were coated — dressed in his seed, his spend, his claim. you could hear a growl rumble low in his chest, tearing up at the sound of such a big and strong man at his most vulnerable, his most peaceful state — only for you.
when you reached for your clit again — whining and wanting, ready to take advantage of hearing his satisfied moans in your ear — he smacked your hand away. you scoffed at his movement, but he shut you up quickly. his own fingers found the spot, and his fingers felt better than yours. you should’ve known they would, with the way they attacked you through your panties.
“pussy’s filled to the brim, sugar —“ he grunted. “now i wanna feel it shake while you’re full of me.”
he was so tired, but not his muscles — definitely not his muscles, nor his grip. it held you tight and upright — forcing you to take it in your weak, fucked out state.
“you want me to fuck my cum farther into you, darlin’?” he rasped, fighting his exhaustion through gritted teeth. “i’m too deep, aren’t i? i’ll fuck my cum into your womb if i’m not careful… but you'd like that, wouldn't you? dirty little thing..."
his warning was a threat, but your mind was too soft to realize. too pliant, too ready for him. all you could do was stare off into space as he held you close to him. his fingers spun circles around your puffy clit, his still hard cock piercing into you. “so very deep, lo…”
and when he smacked your clit once before continuing the assault, you came. you came harder than you ever had before — alone, or imagining something in your head as someone else fucked you. it was like your primal nature was being ripped from you, wanting to show and present itself to match logan’s — to show logan you were his match, that you were his equal. you bucked your hips back to meet his, letting the tip of his sensitive cock graze your sensitive walls as you screamed his name. it filled the room more than anything had for him — and it was all he would think about in the days to come. this woman, so worthy and so ready for him — only for him, and all for him.
“that’s it, sweetheart. work for it, that’s right…”
and as his seed slipped into your womb, open and ready for him as you came, you felt his lips press hard, sloppy kisses against your jaw. your own mouth was open, cries falling from it.
“my good girl learned her lesson, didn’t she?” he rasped. “don’t matter now, anyway — no one but me is gonna be in your bed. i'll burn his shit later."
———
i need to touch grass - L xoxo lmk what u think
#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#the wolverine#logan wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#logan howlett
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Don't Call Me Kid - chapter 1
(Rafe Cameron x Reader, series, 3.9k words)
series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
The drive down to Miami was idyllic. Windows rolled down, you and Carter sang along to the playlist you’d made for the trip and ate your favorite childhood snacks. Blue skies above you as Carter’s new Jeep flew down the coast, you actually started to feel excited for the week ahead.
Then, you pulled up to the Airbnb, and it all faded.
The second you saw all of Carter’s high school friends in the driveway, unpacking their cars and exchanging hugs, it all came rushing back. The way you felt like you never really fit in, how they’d tease you for being quiet, how the boys’ eyes would skip right over you in search of your sister.
Carter turned down the radio when she noticed the way you were biting your lip with trepidation.
“It’s gonna be fun,” she tried to assure you. “Promise.”
You put on your best fake smile, determined to make this a good week for her. After everything she’s done for you, if all she wanted in return was a fun week at the beach, you’d give her that. You pushed your anxiety down as best as you could and hopped out of the Jeep.
“Oh shit!” Topper called, standing at the open trunk of his Range Rover. “Is that who I think it is?”
He rushed over, sweeping Carter up and throwing her over his shoulder.
“Put me down, Top!” She yelped, not entirely convincing that she wanted him to.
He set her down and smiled wide at her, just as smitten as ever. She gave him a playful pat on the head, like a dog, and went to get the bags from her car. Topper’s eyes shifted over to you and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
“No way, Little Carter is that you?” He teased, using your least favorite nickname.
“What’s up, Topper?” You tried to sound unannoyed.
Before he could answer, still slightly gawking at you, another voice emerged from the front door of the house.
“Yo who is it, Top?” Kelce yelled down from the top of the front steps.
“Come see for yourself, jackass!” Topper shouted back.
Kelce hopped down from the top step and approached you in the driveway, throwing his arm around Topper’s shoulder.
“No fucking way,” he said, when it finally dawned on him who you were. He looked you up and down and added, “what do they put in the water at that fancy school of yours?”
“Smoothe, man,” Topper smirked at him.
Your cheeks burned, you rolled your eyes at them to try and seem unaffected. They had never talked to you like this before. The majority of your interactions with Topper and Kelce in high school consisted of them teasing you about Rafe and asking where your sister was. They never even came close to flirting with you, and now you couldn’t decide whether you liked it or not.
“Can you two stop drooling over my baby sister and come help me with these fucking bags?” Carter called to them from the back of her Jeep.
“Yes ma’am,” Kelce winked at you before going to help your sister carry in the hundreds of dollars worth of beer she’d made you stop to pick up on the way here.
“You assholes better pay us back,” she told them, passing Topper a couple of 12 packs.
“Okay, give me your sister’s number and I’ll Venmo her right now,” he responded with a smirk.
You actually laughed at that one, which caused his chest to puff out with pride. Boys had always been somewhat of a mystery to you, but these two were painfully easy. Their playfulness helped you relax a little, wondering if this week might not be so bad after all.
Once you were inside, you and Carter each chose your own rooms, all your recently opened trust funds allowing you to rent the biggest house in the neighborhood. After unpacking, you walked down to the beach with Topper, Kelce, a couple of Carter’s girlfriends, and a guy you’d never met.
Topper and Kelce introduced him as their friend from college, a frat brother. His name was Tom, he was on the taller side, brunette, super cute. The way his toned arms flexed in his sleeveless shirt was the first thing you saw, but his bright, dimpled smile is what really caught your attention.
When you told him your name, offering him your hand to shake, he held it for a few seconds longer than any of the other girls and Carter gave you a knowing look. You’d never wished so badly that you knew how to turn off your blush.
Once you got down to the water, you helped Carter set up the umbrella and volleyball net you’d brought. You played intramural volleyball for your college and had actually gotten really good at it, you were excited to play with Carter, who’d always wanted you to get into sports with her.
When everything was set-up, you started to take off the bathing suit cover you had on over your bikini, but quickly realized there was a problem.
“Shit, Car, did we even bring sunscreen?” You asked your sister.
“Fuuuuck,” Carter said with a careless giggle. “Guess we’ll just burn.”
“Um no, I’m not listening to you whine about your sunburn all week,” you scolded her. “Top, did you bring sunscreen?”
“I hate to say no to you, beautiful, but…no,” Topper answered.
“Great, so we have eight hundred Natty Lights but no sunscreen,” you huffed.
“Sounds like a perfect vacation to me,” Kelce joked, already cracking his first beer.
“I brought some sunscreen,” Tom offered helpfully.
“Ah, my hero!” you smiled at him playfully.
You could feel all eyes on you when you said it. None of them had ever seen you flirt so comfortably before, or really even heard you speak. This was the person you were at school, but they had never met her before. You cleared your throat, feeling uncomfortable.
“Could I borrow some?” You asked Tom, who appeared oblivious to the shift in atmosphere.
“Yeah, it’s up at the house, I’ll go grab it!” You watched him run up the beach, his toned back muscles flexing, Carter bumped her hip into yours.
“Five minutes and he’s already whipped for you,” she teased. “Told you this trip was a good idea.”
By the time Rafe finally pulled up to the house in his truck, all the rooms had been claimed except for the shitty basement, with its low ceiling and lone twin sized bed. After dropping his bags, scowling at the mildew smell in the small space, he filled one of the coolers he brought with some imported beers and white claws and headed toward the beach.
“Yo, Top!” He called from the back porch, beckoning Topper up from the beach to help him carry the heavy cooler.
“Jesus, what you got in here?” Topper grunted, struggling to lift his side of the cooler.
“Nicer shit than anything you brought,” Rafe said. “I’m not drinking cheap gas station beers all week.”
“Fine by me man,” Topper added a second hand to the cooler to help him lift it.
As they carried the cooler down the beach, Rafe mocking Topper for his inability to lift his share of the weight, Rafe scanned the private section of the beach to take a manual headcount of his housemates for the week.
He saw everyone he expected, the same people that would gather at the island club every time there was a break from school, the party always finding its way back to Tannyhill. The same girls that hung around him and his friends in high school, Carter, who he had never gotten along with, Kelce, who he had seen just last week, and…someone he didn’t recognize.
The mystery girl was facing away from him, but he could still tell she was gorgeous. Her bathing suit wrap hugging her body, her shiny, bouncy hair flowing in the ocean breeze. She bent down to set up her beach chair and he nearly dropped the cooler.
“Woah, man,” Topper laughed. “Now who’s got butterfingers?”
“Who is that?” Rafe asked sternly, ignoring Topper’s harassment.
“Dude, are you serious?” Topper eyed him.
Before Rafe could ask what Topper meant, you turned around, looking up towards the house in his direction, shielding the sun from your eyes and smiling a big, beautiful smile.
This time, Rafe really did drop the cooler. It was you. He hadn’t seen you in four years, and nobody told him you were coming on this trip. Nobody told him you looked like that now, either.
Everything that happened between you was so long ago, but he assumed you still hated him. But now, you were looking right at him and smiling. His lips started to turn upward for a moment and he almost lifted his hand to wave at you, when someone bumped into his shoulder.
“Shit, my bad man,” Tom said, his eyes not even looking at Rafe, glued to you. He ran off and approached you, and Rafe realized with a punch to his gut, it was this random guy you were smiling at and not him.
Rafe and Topper dragged the cooler a bit farther down the beach, dropping it behind all the umbrellas. Rafe immediately grabbed one of his expensive IPAs and twisted it open, throwing back a sip bitterly as he watched Tom hand you something, you smiled and touched his arm gratefully.
Carter approached the boys and the cooler, following Rafe’s eyes to you. She twisted her lips, trying to hide her smile, everything about this day going exactly as she had planned.
“Hey, Rafe,” She smirked. “You good?”
Rafe looked at her, eyes narrow as he tried to catch her meaning. When he realized she had caught him staring, he cleared his throat and took another sip of his beer, trying to seem nonchalant.
“Fine,” he mumbled.
Rafe reached in the cooler and grabbed a white claw, offering it to Carter. Things had always been chilly between them, though they’d still been cordial with each other. Aside from that big argument senior year which they never talked about. Now, it hung in the salty air so prevalently, your presence after all this time stirring up old tensions.
Carter accepted the drink with a thank you, cracking it open and looking back to you. Both Carter and Rafe’s eyes went wide when you took off your cover-up, revealing a barely-there bikini and the new body none of your high school friends had seen yet.
Everyone on the private beach was staring at you, but Rafe was staring at you, his knuckles going white around his beer as he eyed you up and down. His heart pounded so loudly in his chest he was afraid Carter and Topper would be able to hear it. Then, when you handed Tom the sunscreen and asked him to rub it on your back, an unfamiliar feeling bubbled in Rafe’s stomach and crawled up to his chest. He glared at Topper.
“Who the fuck is that guy?” He barked.
Carter and Topper’s heads both snapped towards him, neither surprised to hear the usual edge in his voice, though while Topper looked at Rafe with concern, Carter’s face only portrayed pure amusement.
“Who, Tom?” Topper asked, watching as Rafe’s eyeline returned to you, starting to catch on to the source of Rafe’s irritability. “He’s a brother from Alpha Tau.”
“I thought this was supposed to be a high school reunion trip,” Rafe snapped at him.
“Wow, someone’s pressed,” Carter beamed at him, delighted in his discomfort.
“I’m fine, just didn’t know we could invite people, that’s all,” he insisted.
“Sure, Rafey, that’s all,” she goaded him.
Rafe and Carter gave each other a knowing look, Topper’s eyes flashing between them, utterly out of the loop.
“What did I miss?” He prodded.
“Nothing,” Carter assured him. “Let’s play chicken, you’re on my team, Topper.”
“Oh hell yes,” he dashed after her like an excited puppy.
Rafe ignored the interaction, eyes glued to you in the distance as you settled into your beach chair and pulled out a book, Tom leaving your side and heading toward the water to join the game that had started. Rafe smiled, of course you were reading while everyone else was partying. Maybe you hadn’t changed that much after all.
The spine of the brand new book cracked as you opened it, you sighed happily, loving the sound. You rarely ever got to read just for fun, always so busy with schoolwork, and you were so excited to dig into the fluffy romance you’d bought off tiktok and turn your brain off.
But then, just as your eyes grazed over the first sentence, you heard a voice from behind you that made your sun-kissed skin go cold.
“Whatcha readin’?” Rafe asked, his tall frame casting a shadow over your sunbathing spot.
You had pretended not to see him when he arrived a few minutes ago, throwing your attention at Tom instead, who took it happily, no idea that he was just a distraction from the flips your stomach was doing at Rafe’s arrival. You actually thought for a minute you might be able to avoid him this whole trip, but of course, he was pouncing as soon as you were alone. He always preferred talking to you when no one was around, sharing hours of meaningful late night conversations together, yet ignoring you at parties and in the halls at school as if you barely knew each other.
You closed the book slowly and placed it in your lap, any clever words you had to say to him flew suddenly from your brain. Regret swept over you, it was foolish to think you could pretend to be unaffected by his presence. He’d said two words to you and you were already nervous, overthinking every movement you made.
When you didn’t answer him, Rafe took it upon himself to plop down in the beach chair next to you, leaning over to read the title of your book.
“Is it any good?” You still didn’t look at him, but you could hear the teasing smile in his voice.
“Wouldn’t know,” you looked down at your lap. “Just started it.”
“Well let me know what you think, might need to borrow it,” he kept his eyes on you, running over your body, making his own face go warm.
“Since when do you read?” You finally lifted your eyes to him.
Rafe’s jaw went slightly slack, all the swagger he’d brought on this trip with him suddenly disappearing. You were even prettier up close, your features more defined and striking than he remembered.
“People can change,” he finally mustered up, less bravado in his voice.
You gave yourself exactly three seconds to look at him, eyes sweeping quickly over his nose, lips, chin, anything but his eyes. His eyes were like a prison you’d once been held in, and you swore you’d never go back.
After your three seconds were up, you shifted your gaze to the ocean, hating that you wished you had three more to take him in. He was just as, if not more, gorgeous as you remembered. His features somehow sharp and soft at the same time. His lips pink and soft, skin a golden bronze even though the summer had just started. His hair was a little shorter now, but still long enough to stick up in the back in that messy way you liked.
The familiar red hue crept up your neck slowly, making its way to your cheekbones. You needed him to get up and leave you alone before you broke into an all out blush. You picked up your book and pretended to start reading again.
“You should go play with everyone else, looks like Kelce could use someone on his team,” you threw out, hoping he’d take the hint.
“What if I’d rather stay here and talk to you?” He asked, voice dropping just a hint.
You thought you could handle this, but you couldn’t. Was he seriously flirting with you right now? If you knew Rafe, the second you tried to flirt back, he’d grow uninterested and blow you off. With him, it was always like he convinced you to jump off a cliff with him, but then at the last second, he’d step back, watching apathetically as you fell all alone.
“I need to go unpack,” you said, standing from your chair and grabbing your book and beach bag, knowing full well your stuff was already neatly sorted in your room.
He looked up at you as you collected your stuff, and you hated the way you were sucking in your stomach. You spent four years working hard to love your body the way it was, and now, in front of him, all that self-consciousness came flooding back.
You hurried away, catching Carter’s eye as you beelined for the house.
“Where are you going?” She said, slightly out of breath by the time she caught up to you.
“I can’t do this,” you explained, still walking fast.
“Wait,” she grabbed your arm, causing you to halt, hot sand burning your feet. “What happened?”
“He’s here,” you didn’t have to explain any further for her to understand.
“I know,” she said sympathetically. “But we knew he would be. We’re gonna ignore him, remember?”
“I don’t think I can, Car,” you sighed. “I think I should just go.”
“No, please please please don’t go,” she begged. “I need you here. And you were having fun before, right? Tom’s cute! Just hang out with us and tell Rafe to go fuck himself.”
“That sounds more like something you’d say than me,” you smiled at her.
“Okay, fine,” she agreed. “I’ll tell him to fuck himself and to leave you alone.”
“No, don’t, I don’t want to cause any drama,” you requested.
“Well I think storming out twenty minutes after we got here would be pretty dramatic,” she argued.
Your lips in a tight line, you gave her an annoyed look, but she did kind of have a point. Everyone would ask why you left, and how would Carter explain it to them? Plus, you didn’t want to give Rafe the satisfaction of knowing he affected you this much.
“We’re about to play volleyball,” Carter said. “Come show them what a beast you are now! And then after you kick everyone’s ass, if you’re still miserable, you can leave and I’ll tell everyone you got sick.”
You squinted back at the group on the beach, considering her offer. Topper and Kelce were wrestling in the sand, somehow both losing. You smiled affectionately at their antics, you were really enjoying hanging out with them before Rafe got here.
“Okay, fine,” you agreed. “One game.”
It took half of one volley for you to get comfortable, head fully in the game. You were tempted to put your cover-up back on before playing, well aware of Rafe’s eyes on you through the net, but you decided not to, determined to love yourself the same way you had grown to when you thought you’d never see him again.
Tom was on Rafe’s team, also eyeing you through the net, but with a much more innocent, friendly expression.
“You’re pretty good!” He said when you’d spiked a ball into the sand right next to him.
“Thank you,” you smiled sweetly. “I play at school.”
“Hey man, stop flirting with our opponent and focus,” Rafe snapped at him from the serving line.
Tom just raised his eyebrows at you in amusement and mouthed “I’m in trouble.” You giggled and Rafe seethed, slamming the ball so hard on his next serve that his hand was red.
After a few more volleys, you had rotated until you and Rafe were face to face across the net again. As you waited for one of your sister’s friends, Sabrina, to make her third attempt at serving, Rafe eyed you up and down.
“You look good,” he said quietly, so only you could hear.
It lit a fire in you, but not the one he was hoping for. You locked-in, bent low in a competitive stance, ready for the setter to tee you up. When Sabrina finally made her serve, you went all out, diving in the sand and running all over the court to keep the ball in play. Rafe’s athletic instincts took over, and he met every one of your attempts to score with a firm block. Eventually, your lungs burning with your heavy breathing, Rafe spiked the ball and you slipped in the sand, letting it get past you and land next to your feet with a thud.
You looked up at Rafe, who was high fiving his teammates and looking down at you with a smirk. He ducked under the net and reached out a hand to help you up.
“Sorry, kid,” he grinned as he lifted you to your feet. “I’m just that good.”
Kid. It all came back as you stared at him. The hours spent in your car, waiting for him dutifully. All the late night texts that meant everything to you and nothing to him. The cheek kisses and side hugs that fueled your fantasies. His hands around Cassie’s waist as he kissed her in broad daylight, though he’d only talk to you behind closed doors.
Your cheeks turned red as they so often did, but this time, it wasn’t from embarrassment, it was from anger. He wouldn’t make you feel small anymore, you wouldn’t let him.
You turned to your team to fire them up, “let’s go, fucking lock in guys! You got me Top?”
Topper nodded with excitement, loving your new energy, as he got ready for his turn to serve.
“Fuck yeah, I got you, captain,” he saluted you.
Topper served. Rafe tried to dominate again but you were two seconds ahead of him on every play. Now it was you that had him diving around in the sand like an idiot. The smug smile wiped from his face, his jaw now clenched in frustration as he grunted with effort every time he hit the ball.
You were on fire, un-fucking-stoppable. After a few more volleys, your team was winning, one point from game.
You wiped the back of your hand across your forehead and down your neck, flicking off the sweat that had pooled. You felt two sets of eyes on you, Tom’s and Rafe’s, but you didn’t care, laser focused on your next play. When you lifted off the ground, body stretching to reach for the ball, you threw every frustration into the hit, hand colliding with the ball as hard as it could. Rafe dove, but he couldn’t get it, he crashed down hard, sand flying in his face as he whiffed, and you won the game.
Your side of the net broke into cheers, high fiving and whooping obnoxiously. Tom approached the net to offer his sportsmanlike congratulations, but you didn’t notice him, already making your way towards Rafe, who still sat defeated on the ground, eyes burning from the sand.
He smiled as you approached, reaching out his hand, thinking you were gonna help him up. But you just stepped around him, bending down, lowering your voice so only he could hear as you said,
“Sorry, kid, but I’m better.”
You left him sitting there, hand reaching for nobody like an idiot, dumbstruck and down bad as you sauntered up the beach.
(chapter 2)
a/n: I know I literally just posted the prologue but I didn't want to wait to get into the actual story. I'd love to hear what you think and where you want to see the story go! xoxo
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