#four seasons and the animation quality is still top notch

[melchess]

[ridley-was-a-cat]

Summer 2024 Anime Roundup

Anime of the Season - Yatagarasu: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master

I added this to my list of spring shows to check out purely for the key visual they released before the season started. It showed four women in beautifully styled kimonos standing on a large stone staircase, and the vibes just screamed "period drama for grownups", which happens to be one of my favorite foods.

While my read on the serious tone was on target, rather than a straight period drama, it's actually a fantasy series set in the royal court of a society of yatagarasu - a mythical three-legged raven from folklore that can take human form - that's in the midst of a succession struggle, with the four noble houses all sending a prospective bride to the capital for the crown prince to choose from. Joining the would-be consorts is a large cast of characters with a wide variety of interests and loyalties, from factions favoring the crown prince's older brother, to a scheming empress, and a clever teenage boy who'd just like to do his job and get back to his family outside the capital. The first two thirds of the series craft one of the best executed mystery plots that I've seen in an anime, with an incredibly satisfying conclusion at the end of a meticulous setup that made just about every detail count. While the resolution to the mystery in the last seven episodes lacked a bit of the punch the first one had, the setting details it revealed along the way made me wish for a sequel or an English translation of the source novels to get even more of this story.

This would have made its way into the top of the season on the strength of the story alone, but the production quality takes it to the top of the year. The art is nothing short of incredible, with gorgeous painted backgrounds, distinctive character designs, and beautiful Heian era-styled kimonos in vibrant colors. On top of the sparkling visuals, the soundtrack is rich and moody, the opening and ending are unskippable, and the voice cast is full of talented actors. It was the sort of series that comes around once a decade at most, and my pick for the best of the season couldn't have been easier. 9/10

First Runner-Up – Makeine: Too Many Losing Heroines!

Before the season began, I saw the premise of nothingburger boy collecting a trio of girls rejected by their crushes, I looked at those goofy bows on the girls' uniforms, and I took a pretty hard pass on this. Everyone's praise got to me by the end of the season, though, and I ended up checking it out and getting completely charmed by it. The kids are all pretty lovable, and the production is top notch, with fantastic character animation and excellent voice acting performances. 8/10

Second Runner-Up – The Elusive Samurai

Centered on the lone survivor of the coup that took down the Hojo clan and set up the Ashikaga shogunate to rule in their place, this shounen action series tells the lightly embellished story of his journey to take back what was taken from him. The balance of slapstick comedy and grisly violence walks the line between purposeful and disorienting, but the art and animation are spectacular, and there isn't a single boring character in the large cast. 8/10

Senpai is an Otokonoko - You don't often get stories like this in anime, where a girl confesses to her senpai she thinks is a girl, then still wants to go out after finding out they're actually a cross-dressing boy, forming a love triangle with another boy who also has a crush on him, and have it treated seriously like a proper coming of age romance instead of a big joke. The jarring chibi animated scenes, and the way it handles a couple of the issues it introduces, keeps this from being as good of a series as it could've been. The upcoming movie sequel may resolve some of these problems, though. 8/10

My Hero Academia S7 - The struggle between the heroes and the league of villains runs towards its climax in this penultimate season, and like much of the series leading up to this point, it's a bit of a mixed bag. At the highest points you get turbo-tsundere Bakugo putting his life on the line for Deku, and the emotional climax for the Todoroki family's struggles, while the lows include a poorly executed storyline centered on a persecuted minority turning violent, and a frustrating decision to make the one fight between two girls be about feelings and crushing on the same boy. I'm still looking forward to the final season next year. 7/10

Pseudo Harem - A girl joins the theater club at school, where she goofs around with a senpai by acting out the different archetypal characters of harem romance, and it's somehow one of the sweetest, most genuine romance series I've seen. It takes a couple episodes to settle into its groove, and the transitions between sketches could be a little jarring, but the couple's chemistry is fantastic, and their relationship steadily progresses up through a perfectly charming and satisfying ending. 7/10

Mayonaka Punch - P.A. Works original anime series like to take a group of clumsy but earnest girls with a dream, and put them in a situation. In this original series, the girls are vampires, the dream is to earn a million subscribers on (not)YouTube, and the situation is avoiding homelessness. The characters come in different shades of girl failure, the stunts are amusingly familiar to anyone who watches YouTube, and the comedy comes with a generous helping of heartwarming friendship moments. A fun ride that stops just short of great. 7/10

The Magical Girl and the Evil Lieutenant Used to Be Archenemies - It was a little hard sometimes to watch this knowing that the mangaka passed away while she was writing this. The characters were so charming, the chemistry between the leads was so electric, the art was so beautiful, and the story hook was so catchy, that it hurts to know we'll never get any more of it because a talented woman left us far too soon. I'm thankful that we got such a beautifully produced series for her final work. 7/10

The Fable - As consistently entertaining as this dark comedy about a legendary hitman trying to live a normal life was, and as fantastic as the voice actor performances were, any recommendation for this show needs a big asterisk for the visuals, which combined poor animation with characters that frequently went off-model. The large cast of rogues, and the deathly absurd situations they got into, had me interested enough to watch week after week despite the production flaws. 7/10

Shoshimin: How to Become Ordinary - I wasn't sure what to think about this high school set mystery series at first. The cases were extremely mundane, the production was oddly ambitious, and the characters were a little hard to relate to. Over the series run, however, the characters showed their true nature, and the Holmes and Moriarty vibe came through loud and clear. I look forward to the second cour next year. 7/10

Dungeon People - A lone adventurer gets a big surprise when her fight with a monster breaks through the dungeon wall, revealing a woman's bedroom on the other side, and leading to a new job as that woman's assistant, managing the day to day minutiae of the dungeon. Setting a cozy slice of life series in a monster packed dungeon shouldn't work, but the two main characters had a fun dynamic, and the monsters and humans in and around the dungeon had enough variety and personality to pull it off somehow. 7/10

Twilight Out of Focus - Set in a boys high school with a dorm, this anthology BL series follows three separate couples in the school's film-making club, and like most anthology series, the vibe and enjoyment varies a bit from story to story. The roommate friends-to-lovers first couple was merely ok, the enemies-to-lovers second couple was a step up, and the opposites-attract third couple was straight up great fun. Taken altogether, it's a solid entry in the genre, and a rare romance series that includes sex scenes. 7/10

Days with My Stepsister - Based on the series' title, I assumed this would be a trashy romcom full of light novel cliches, but it turned out to be a nicely directed, low-key drama about two teenagers who happen to become step-siblings. It does a remarkable job of capturing the awkwardness of suddenly living with strangers and calling them family, and the changing relationship between the two was just messy enough to be interesting without being melodramatic. It was a little slow at times, and there's one weird scene between them early on, but it was generally a solid romantic drama on the grounded side. 7/10

The Ossan Newbie Adventurer, Trained to Death by the Most Powerful Party, Became Invincible - For a one-note comedy that's basically two tournament arcs stapled together, this was a surprisingly fun action-comedy series in the style of the manly action shows of the 80s and 90s, where men talked it out with their fists. There were a few characters whose main job seemed to be having breasts, but the main character was such a great guy, and everything happening around him was so over the top and silly, that I can't really complain. 7/10

VTuber Legend: How I Went Viral after Forgetting to Turn Off My Stream - Knowing approximately nothing about VTubers myself, I can't speak to how well this series does or doesn't capture the streaming scene, but being an outsider did not stop me from laughing at the cast of eccentric streamers and their nonsense. From the main character forgetting to end her stream before cracking a cold one and drunkenly visiting her fellow streamers, to a dramatic game of Among Us, to copious amounts of sexual harassment (affectionate), it had something to make me chuckle every week. 7/10

Quality Assurance in Another World - Without spoiling the premise, which is genuinely surprising when it's revealed early on, this series takes a couple of popular isekai and isekai-adjacent sub-genres, and makes a fresh and clever story out of them. The production won't win any awards, and the story cuts off abruptly at the end with no announcement for a second season, but the setting nailed the feel of buggy video games, and the characters were a lot of fun to watch as they navigated a freaky situation. 7/10

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin - Adapted from a video game, this follows a lazy young goddess who has her peaceful days of lying around in the lofty realm interrupted by a group of humans who wander in and cause an incident that gets them all sent off to a demon-infested island as punishment. I enjoyed watching the characters learn how to cultivate rice over the course of the early episodes, and there were some nice twists and character developments in the second half, but the human characters could be pretty annoying, and the monster fighting action lacked excitement. 7/10

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime S3 - After spending the first half of the season bogged down in meetings, the second half gathered most of the enormous cast together for a low-stakes festival arc. A few episodes of action between the two halves offered some excitement, but the season as a whole felt pretty subdued. It feels a bit like the anime doesn't know what kind of show it wants to be, and is now bouncing between dialogue-heavy drama, action-adventure, or slice of life, and it's not equally good at all three genres. 7/10

A Journey Through Another World: Raising Kids While Adventuring - We're drowning in paint-by-numbers isekai every season, and I'm part of the problem, since I usually pick one of them as a potato chip watch. This season's selection features a man accidentally isekaied by a clumsy god, who finds a pair of young overpowered kids and takes them with him on his adventure. Vapid, but cozy. 6/10

Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings in Russian - I very much was not the target audience for this romantic comedy about a Russian-Japanese girl and a boy who doesn't tell her he understands what she's saying when she talks about him in Russian, but it was kinda fun by the halfway point with the full cast of girls, so I stuck around. A decision I regretted once the school election plot fired up and the story got tedious, with too much telling and not enough showing. 6/10

Wistoria: Wand and Sword - Since I enjoy the writer's other series, I figured I'd enjoy this as well, but week after week, it kept tricking me into thinking it'd turned a corner and become good, then suck just as hard as ever. It has an insufferable protagonist with the idiotic character motivation of chasing after a girl over a promise made as children, a dreadful case of Proper Noun worldbuilding vomit, and a painfully derivative setting, but it was nicely animated I guess. 5/10

[golden--doodler]

Soooo, what are YOUR thoughts on the movie 👀?

OMG YES thank you! I've been so excited and waiting to give my thoughts on the movie, glad this ask trade worked out.

As I mentioned when I asked this to you, I was lucky enough to catch this in theaters (I went with my dad :D). It was one of the most entertaining theater experiences because of how excited I was and how GLORIOUS it was to see all the Bob's Burgers characters on the big screen (spoiler alert: I love the movie). The animation was 11/10 chef's kiss on a theater screen. Also, for some reason, the sound system in the theater we were in was TOP NOTCH and had such good quality, it made everything sound amazing too, especially all the songs.

Speaking of the songs, I love all of them so, so much. I've listened to all of them on repeat so much, it's insane, especially "Sunny Side-Up Summer". It's just so catchy and upbeat and fun and just gah, I can't get enough of it. It encapsulates the feeling of summertime so perfectly, it's hard to put into words. I just wish there were one or two more of them to listen to and geek out about! I especially love the very brief "Sunny Side-Up Summer" reprise that Linda sings. It just shows off her and Bob's relationship so well, as well as Linda's personality--her giddy nature and boundless optimism getting through to Bob, even for just a second, is so freaking wholesome. Also yes, everyone's muppet dancing is brilliant and I can't get enough of it.

Well, just the upgraded animation in general is SO GOOD. It helps that they got the largest team possible to help give the character designs more detail and to make the animation so much more fluid and bouncy! Comparing it to the show's animation feels like night and day, it shows that they were determined to make it look worthy of the big screen. But if another person ever tries to comment on the Bob's Burgers style being ugly, I shall immediately point to the movie (I do actually enjoy the Bob's Burgers style though, even just for the show).

The plot itself is also super fun. Some people have commented on it just feeling like an elongated episode, and while I can see that, I do appreciate how they managed to up the stakes for the movie in a meaningful way whilst not deviating from the nature of the show. It would've been so easy for them to have something super insane happen to kickstart the plot, and while what actually happens IS insane (I mean, hello, murder!) it's not so insane that it feels unfaithful. And in general, having the movie be a murder mystery is wonderful--I mean, not the murder part, obviously, but it makes for quite an intriguing mystery that needs to be unraveled. The fact that they foreshadowed the sinkhole exploding by having people trip over the sidewalk in Season 12 is amazing.

Tbh, I don't even care that it's VERY obvious in hindsight that Grover did it (I mean, they would never remove Calvin or Felix from the show) it still surprised me, and I think he's my favorite villain the show has had. He's even more deliciously evil than Felix was in the two-part season four finale, and "Not That Evil" is just a masterpiece, it had me wheezing so hard the first time I saw it. I mean, his weirdly high-pitched voice and flailing dance moves? Yes. Also, the way the song is structured as well is just satisfying to me, for some reason. I think it might be the transition from Calvin asking him if his entire plan is about his mega park idea, and him singing about his entire idea for the mega park, I don't know, the way he sings that is great. And Linda going "Ooh giftshops!" is hilarious. He's so horrible and it's a delight to witness his insanity unfold.

The humor in general is also very great and very well done. I mean, it's Bob's Burgers, of course, the movie is going to be funny. But the jokes just keep coming, especially from my boy, Gene. I mean, him going "Can I say, 'Honey, no!'?" lives rent-free in my brain. Also, Mickey going "Cops don't dance around like that. They dance like this!" and then him doing some strange, unexplainable dance moves is peak comedy. Plus, I think Sergeant Bosco's role in this is what solidified him as one of my favorite side characters. He's too funny, trying to insist that being in Robbery is great while being terrible at going undercover--and then he gets a legitimately awesome moment in the end when he gets to arrest Grover! Love that for him.

And YES, I one-hundred thousand million percent agree that Bob and Linda are SO FREAKING SWEET in this movie. They might be at their best here, or at least almost at their best. Not only in how they interact with their kids but with each other, of course. Linda beginning her role in "Sunny Side-Up Summer" by insisting that Mr. Dowling is going to say "Oh wow" to their food, and nothing's going to stop their business? Yup. She is always giving him the encouragement about the restaurant that he needs, and it shines so well in this number. Not to mention I just love John Robert's singing voice as Linda for some reason, especially when it blends with H. Jon Benjamin's. Very satisfying. Plus, she shows off even more of her partner of the year tendencies with that wonderful scene of them in bed together, having that extremely touching and real conversation. The flashback of Linda being pregnant? 🥺

She's such a good wife for reminding him why he started the business in the first place. Then punches him in the nuts as "a metaphor". God, I love her.

Plus, that scene of them all in the sinkhole near the end, with Linda actually straight-up giving up for once, and thinking that they're all gonna die? I mean, Jesus. Rip my heart out, why don't you. I kinda wish they spent more time on this, Linda being so downtrodden and how that's affecting her. And as for Bob, he definitely shines at this moment. His realization that he needs to step it up and give back Linda's optimism is something I didn't know I needed. Then he actually succeeds in getting them out and saving their lives! But not before that scene of him talking about his mother, COME ON. My heart couldn't take seeing his mother's face for the first time, plus toddler Bob!!! I also love how he wants to go save the Fischoeders on his own immediately when they escape, but everyone else joins him without hesitation.

I also gotta mention Louise's whole arc, because it's also what makes this movie. I love how it's mostly centered around her thinking about her bunny ears and what they mean to her for the first time. It was super interesting seeing her doubt herself and her bravery so much, to the point where she gets convinced by melted Kuchi Kopi to go into the sinkhole because she always seems so self-assured on the outside. It's really nice seeing her actually crack the murder case eventually, and even save the Fischoeders' lives in the end. Plus, gain the courage to do the "Dead Man's Drop" and ultimately feel okay without her hat for a few seconds.

Going into the not-so-positives, I also agree that Gene deserved more! It feels like everyone else in the Belcher family got more to do than him, it would've been interesting to see him doubt his musical abilities again--it did seem like they were laying the groundwork with that, with his daydream nightmare about the robots insulting his music skills. Maybe even having him being in a band be useful for something in the plot. Though, his bonding with Mr. Fischoeder over playing the organ was very wholesome. And he's still probably the funniest one in this movie. I also definitely agree with wishing the side characters got more time to shine. Teddy got a ton to do (his enthusiasm about the cart/the olive bar is incredible) but the other side characters, like the ones at Wagstaff, are just kinda there and then gone (even Courtney just gets a blink-and-you'll-miss it cameo in "Sunny-Side Up Summer"). And while I appreciate the fact that Mort appears in the movie, he also gets literally nothing to do.

I get that they needed to focus on the main characters for the movie, but it is still a shame. I honestly enjoyed what they did cook up (hah, I didn't even mean for that pun to happen, if you can call it a pun) so much that I just wanted more. Seeing some of the deleted scenes they had definitely solidified this, they NEED to rework that deleted scene with Bob, Linda, and Teddy in airport security for an episode or another movie or something, because it's pure gold.

There's just a lot you can do with these characters and this world that they weren't gonna be able to do everything or please everyone. However, they did make a solid movie, in my opinion, and despite the fact that I've already watched it three times, I highkey want to buy the Blu-ray just to listen to the commentary and go through all the other behind-the-scenes stuff. Even though it's definitely not perfect, I will fight for this movie if I need to.

Also yes, the fact that out of all the characters, Jimmy Jr. is not given a dance sequence during the end credits also haunts me. Like, what?? Seriously, Zeke and Andy and Ollie got dance sequences, what was the excuse not to put in Jimmy Jr.??? That being said, though, seeing Tammy and Jocelyn dancing in perfect sync was actually really sweet, a nice surprise.

Anyway, wish there were more Gene and more side characters and more Jimmy Jr. dancing (I think I just want more in general) but I do have a soft spot for this movie. I might revisit it soon, I want to write more about it on here, haha (mainly because I'm sure I forgot a few things I liked here).

[exit-path]

Is anyone else really hyped for The Power of Two?

This is the intro to The Power of Two, where it appears in the series’ first video at 16:06. And it’s incredible! The animation is very dynamic and high-quality. The audio is top-notch. Every character in the show is shown.

The first video of The Power of Two, or “TPOT”, was released in January 2021. In just four days, it had 1.5M views.

[Image Description: a screenshot of TPOT Episode 1: “You Know Those Buttons Don’t Do Anything, Right?” The video was uploaded 4 days ago and has 1.5M views.]

So that raises the question: if the animation in the intro sequence is so good, and the video got so popular so quickly, then what is TPOT?

TPOT is the sixth installment of the YouTube show called “Battle For Dream Island”. The show has been running for eleven years now, and it’s still going.

[Image Description: a collection of all the intro sequences from each of the seasons of BFDI. The seasons in chronological order are BFDI, BFDIA, IDFB, BFB (twice), and now TPOT.

(Note: the “4th” and “5th” seasons both called “BFB” are technically the same season, but it’s easier to visualize the changes in video production when it’s in this format.)]

The show was created by the Huang twins: Cary and Michael Huang. This show has followed them for most of their lives! And in that time, the quality of Battle for Dream Island, or “BFDI”, has grown with them.

[Image Description: a collection of scenes from various BFDI episodes over the years. Notice how all the scenes have Pencil or Match in them, and how changes in art style between seasons are evident in their design.]

Cary and Michael came up with the idea of BFDI when they were just twelve years old. It was based off reality TV shows like Survivor and Total Drama Island.

However, BFDI was also its own unique thing: it was completely Flash-animated, and it used fictional “object” characters rather than actual people. They voiced every character, wrote every storyboard, and animated every scene.

[Image Description: Cary and Michael Huang in 2009. They were in the 7th grade, and this was the year they brainstormed the idea for BFDI.]

The show was a success. They had pioneered the “object show”: a show in which inanimate object “characters” battle for a common prize, and get voted out if they lose. The last one standing gets the prize.

Cary and Michael would continue to develop the show alone until they went on hiatus in 2013. They wouldn’t touch the show again until three years later, when they returned to the show in 2016 with a new season.

In that time, the two of them had graduated high school. Cary got accepted to Stanford University. And on YouTube, a bunch of other high-quality object shows inspired by BFDI had sprung up in its place.

Having not lost their fanbase in their absence, in 2017 Cary and Michael teamed up with a new team of animators, voice actors and storyboard writers to reboot BFDI with a fourth season: BFB. They were back, and back for good.

[Image Description: Cary and Michael Huang in 2020. They’re now college students, in their first year for a master’s degree as of the time of this photo.]

Now to make sure episodes of BFB were being produced regularly, Cary and Michael took a more resigned role. They went from being head of show management to simply being voice actors. Their new team took the bulk of the work.

Their roles as voice actors weren’t a small task, however. Because they had voiced so many characters when the show was first created, they continued to voice those characters when they recurred in later seasons.

[Image Description: all of the characters and their respective voice actors in BFB 1. Note how although there are eleven voice actors, Cary and Michael voice over half the characters in the episode (31 of 59 total characters).]

(Don’t worry, I’m allowed to talk about all this information because they made it public.)

And now it becomes clear why the animation in the intro sequence to The Power of Two is so good. Cary and Michael came up with the idea of BFDI, but they didn’t animate the new intro. That was the work of the animators in the new animation team.

[Image Description: all of the animators for TPOT Episode 1. Notice how although there are fourteen of them, not a single one is Cary Huang or Michael Huang.

(Also, just a fun fact, many of the people on this list had created object shows themselves back in the time of BFDIA. Their animation skill had grown so much as a result that they were eventually hired to the animation team of BFB.)]

The change in management from Cary and Michael to the team was also made apparent with the new “host”, Two! Although Cary and Michael created the character “Two” back in 2008, Two would be voiced be neither of them.

The real voice actor of Two would be Niall Burns. Also known as “XanyLeaves”, he started his own object show called “Object Overload”, which lasted from 2012 to 2013.

His animation got so good as a result of working on the show that he was hired to the animation team for BFB, and later got the voice of Two in TPOT! (Fun fact, XanyLeaves also made an MCYT animation recently! You can watch it here.)

All this raises another, perhaps more confusing question: we know now that BFDI is a cultural phenomenon, but... why? What is the appeal of BFDI? What made it so popular back then, and what makes it still relevant today?

At some point, the whole point of “Dream Island” stopped mattering. You don’t watch to see these characters winning Dream Island, because they’re never gonna show it on-screen.

Instead, you watch these characters to see the infinitely complex interactions between them. Every character has their own personality, and how they face new tasks or obstacles are the subject of entire episodes.

[Image Description: the 22 contestants competing in BFDIA. At this point, Dream Island didn’t exist anymore, but they didn’t address it until Episode 4, because it was so fun to see them compete.]

Plus, there was the interactive feature. The losing team of an episode was put up for elimination, and you would go to the YouTube comment section to vote for who you wanted to get eliminated in the next episode!

I discovered BFDI in the summer of 2014. At the time, I was browsing htwins.net because it happened to be the website that hosted “The Scale of the Universe 2”, which Cary created. (I saw Vsauce promote it in a video of his.)

I clicked on the “More” box in the bottom right of the screen, and lo and behold, on the top right-hand side, there it was: a link to the playlist of all BFDI episodes.

[Image Description: the Htwins website back in 2014. (“htwins” stands for “Huang twins”.) At this point, Cary and Michael were high school seniors.

Notice how there’s “The Scale of the Universe 2” in the top left corner. Also, the second part of BFDIA 5 happens to be just below that, I just didn’t notice it at the time.]

I was in elementary school at the time, so I couldn’t stick around for long. But now I was a part of the BFDI community. We were in the midst of their hiatus, would they ever come back? It honestly seemed like they never would.

But they finally came back. All it took was three years. I witnessed the release of IDFB, then BFB, and now TPOT. I voted in a couple of videos. A whole new community of people jumped on board with the creation of BFB, and now here we are.

So now that you know what Battle for Dream Island is, do you like what you see? If so, then you can join the fandom!

BFDI has an active community on YouTube, but it also has an active fandom on Twitter! Even Tumblr has it’s own little community, with posts that get dozens of notes each.

[Image Description: artworks of TPOT that I snatched off Tumblr today. They’re pretty good :)

Art by oodl3doodl3s, maaaak, leafirnn, and littlbigplanet.]

The first episode of BFDI, posted 11 years ago, now has 60M views. BFB and TPOT are still going on, and the series will continue to evolve. So I recommend you be there when it happens.

You can watch Season 1 of BFDI here! (warning: I recommend you watch it on YouTube and not Tumblr. This is the entirety of Season 1 compressed into a single four-hour long video.)

And you can watch Season 2, known as BFDIA, here. (warning: same warning as the previous one. This is a single hour-and-a-half long video.)

[danwhobrowses]

Castlevania Season 4 - My Thoughts

So we return, for the end Well, the 'end', there's possibility for expanded universe stories they say but for our current trio this is how we finish it

I've just binged it all so it's fresh in the mind, so I'm gonna look at the ups and downs of it all

You can also look at my review of season 3 if you'd like

Spoilers for Season 4, Watch it and get back here

So yeah, another great season, it had its downs but a lot of it had its ups too, which we will get to soon - but first let's get the negatives out of the way

What wasn't so good Nothing is perfect, and while a lot of these will be negatives they are mostly small negatives, stuff I felt could've been done a little bit better.

Saint Germain's heel turn could've been hidden So Saint Germain turning bad under the deception of death was a good way to establish conflict and pull back the rebus thing he mentioned in Season 3. But I kinda wish we didn't immediately know that he had broke bad, like we could've been super sly and coy about the fact that he's back and this time encountering Alucard only to be the orchestrator, like imagine the shock we could've had with learning what he was doing in the Castle then getting the flashback which drove him to it.

The rules of the ring change Last season Hector made the foolish decision of trusting Lenore, and while he got to bed a sexy vampire it had cost him all his freedom and the ring would prevent Hector acting against the coven of four sisters. But come this season it turns out that Hector was easily able to scheme against the sisters and invite the downfall of Camilla. Was a bit weird to establish that last season only to ignore it in the next.

The Patented Slow Start Castlevania has had a bit of a knack for starting slowly and Season 4 kinda did the same, things only really kicked off halfway through. Now of course we had to establish things; Trevor and Sypha being exhausted, the plans to resurrect Dracula, Alucard taking in the village and whatnot but we did linger on it a bit too much.

Striga's 'Day Armor' doesn't get enough time Striga took an ambush like a champ with a specialized armor that allowed her to fight in daylight. It was awesome and striking and looked absolutely badass...but that's the only time we saw it. It was just a shame really, granted it ended up that this was Striga's only time to fight, but we could've then used it for other characters, like the ambush dude who had his armor picked apart by the trio, or the Slavic vampire, just felt we could've done more with it.

CGI is sometimes a little shoddy The animation quality was mostly excellent, but that made it very glaring when some of the 3D rendering kinda hit an uncanny valley. I think the one that was most iffy was when Varney jumped into the mirror and then the mirror fragments just kinda wiped into the ground - even though Isaac's mirror tore a hole in the air - it was just a bit off-putting at times.

Couple of things left behind So when we ended it felt like we wrapped a lot of things up...except 2 things. One, where is Saint Germain's unnamed kickass lover? We caught her silhouette just walk away so we know she wasn't killed by Death, she's just 'out there' now. We also never got back to Targoviste, whose survivors must be wondering how to function since Sypha their only hope kinda disappeared on them, they'll also learn that their royals are dead, so it would've been nice to wrap that up.

Our heroes decide to use weapons sparingly In terms of arsenal we knew that our trio had a lot. The weird thing is that in some fights they just wouldn't use what would've been handy to them. There's of course Chekov's god dagger - which we didn't get too much explaining on - but Trevor would often just not use his Morningstar or Vampire Killer at times, even against two vampires, Sypha also seems to have forgotten how to use her wind magic or used her ice buzzsaw extremely sparingly and now Alucard can suddenly have bird wings...which could've been useful in prior fights.

We still lacked intelligent Night Creatures, and the badass vampires were underused So I still feel like it was very missed that the sentient night creatures of Season 1 didn't return still, especially since they were death's creatures. The one's dialogue with the priest is still among Castlevania's best and it's a shame we missed out on seeing more of it. In addition, the Ambusher's squad of vampires looked pretty cool, but like Dracula's council ended up just being swatted away after one fight, the same can be said with the Slavic vampire that was rolling with Varney. They didn't even get the pre-battle slaughter that Dracula's council did, Godbrand got more than these guys and that's a shame.

We don't get Bloody Tears or the Full Opening So the music was good, but we didn't get Bloody Tears again. For the final chapter of this saga it would've been better than using the opening song when the trio were together. Speaking of the opening song, we could've had the full length opening that we loved to see, small stuff but it would've elevated it.

Sypha is pregnant, because...because! So Sypha being pregnant is sweet, but it wasn't really needed aside from the throwaway 'trefor' joke which Alucard did better. Also that baby has gone through a lot, it's not like Sypha's been skipping in a meadow these past few weeks. Also they really gloss over how Trevor knows this and she doesn't

Some of this could've been done in a Season 5 This is more the fault of Netflix I'm guessing, since it does feel like after Season 3 we had much more to tell, but it did feel like some of the characters skipped a load of development. At the end of Season 3, Hector was beside himself in the fact that Lenore enslaved him, Isaac was still very bent on killing everything, Camilla is soaking in her genius and Alucard is more closed off than ever, but in Season 4 Hector is much more content and now has some legitimate connection to Lenore, Lenore is treated as sympathetic, Isaac is eating berries with a new outlook and Alucard decides to rescue a village because they asked, also he has a shield now. It does feel like half of what Season 4 had could've been in a Season 5, and then Season 4 could've built between having the growth be showed; Lenore feeling left out and confiding in Hector, Isaac deciding to bury the dead and rebuild the city, Trevor and Sypha having some friction in their relationship and Alucard not helping someone in need and then regretting it. As I said, this is probably not the show's fault, they were likely told that Season 4 would be it and they had to make do with it but in a vacuum it would've been nice to have had a little more build.

What was Awesome about it So I could easily just say 'the rest of it' but I guess I can afford to be a little more detailed.

Great Animation Aside from the CGI at times the animation was a top grade of excellence. I mean I watched the current My Hero Academia episode which really was pushing its budget and still I'm impressed by this animation, the artwork and settings were excellent too.

Downside: You're turning into Trevor, Upside: You get a strong warrior woman as a love interest While Alucard could've used some more time to go from emotionally scarred by 'the twins' to sympathizing with the town's plight, his character dynamic with Greta was great. Greta herself proved an excellent late addition being both a capable fighter, a strong independent leader and someone who was more than just an Alucard love interest. If you don't like strong women you're doing it wrong basically, and Alucard realising how he's turning into Trevor was some lightheartedness to Alucard combatting his loneliness and depression.

The Dialogue remains just as enthralling as the combat One of Castlevania's great strengths especially in seasons 1 and 3 were their use of gripping dialogue, the philosophical confrontations of different parties envelop the characters in greater depth thanks to the excellent script, primarily for Isaac and his chat with the bug man. The Slav Vampire also had a fantastic monologue.

Characters remain complex After four seasons it would've been easy to make some characters one dimensional, including the side villains, but Castlevania kept with the morally grey. The psycho noble clung hard to her delusions but her motives remained pure, as much as she was someone on the heroes' side she also infuriated Sypha, Saint Germain was driven to evil out of desperation but he still believably made amends in the very very end, Striga, Lenore and Morana were all on the side of the villains but had doubt about the scope of Camilla's ambition and made them consider their very nature. Simply put, it bodes well when characters have struggles that affect their motivation.

Layered Scheming 'Bring Back Dracula' was a simple premise, but the show did really well in connecting the channels between 3 plot areas, Trevor and Sypha learned of the plot by continually walking into scholar vampires attempt it, in Season 3 it was via a Night Creature in Isaac's name to start it all too, this connects to the Hector & Isaac story through Varney who schemes with the former to enact the plan, but this also connects to Alucard's story thanks to Saint Germain also plotting too. It was a clever way to entwine all three separate stories which would eventually bring things together.

Action still kicks a lot of ass Castlevania has good action? In other news water makes things wet. But still we got some great brutal action we've come familiar with in Castlevania. It could've been easy to go overboard like other shows had, which'd zone in on one thing like gore or nudity but Castlevania remained consistent in their action, looking for new lengths of creativity that never pushed its bounds. Of course building up to the final battle where we took it up a notch for the crescendo. Also I continue to call her Sypha 'Fatality' Belnades because god she kicks ass.

Isaac and Hector grow up It could've been easy and satisfying for Isaac to just roll up to Styria, take his revenge on Hector and leave, acting in both anger and mercy. But instead the characters grew beyond it, Isaac finally decides to heed what the shopkeeper and ship captain were saying rather than the crazy witch, Hector accepts his fate but works to try and make amends his own way. When the two finally cross again we see that both have accepted their humanity and instead of working for someone else they look to seek their own happiness, they forgive humanity in a way and it saves themselves. Their understanding to 'let Dracula rest' also grants them payoff from being Dracula's loyal commanders.

Camilla goes out swinging Where was this Camilla hiding huh? Brutal, Lightning powers and a crimson sword, I mean the wardrobe seems to be a bit less than last season and not battle-suited but dammit did Camilla grip you in her scenes. Her desperation and madness in taking over the world set her up to her downfall where she was betrayed and overwhelmed by Isaac's forces, but rather than let him have the satisfaction she kills herself. It could've easily fell flat because Camilla had just been sitting around like a vampire Cersei Lannister last season and end up proving her frustrations right by having a man take her life but instead she took control of her life and went out strong.

The bittersweet ending of Lenore At the end of season 3 the scheming Lenore claimed herself 'the diplomat', but having been shelved and fonder of Hector than usual it opened the door to explore her own grasp of control. The theme of enduring being prominent in this season for all the arcs we had. We learned the tragedy of Lenore's situation though, as a child of war diplomacy was her escape, she isn't comfortable with peace or total control, she can only live for conflict. While she does like Hector, she ends up valuing her own freedom in the end; and though we could've given more time to earn that sympathy we still accept it as she decides against a quiet life of surveillance freedom with Hector - ironically as Hector has lived under Camilla's captivity - and instead chose death. It was a much more poetic death than gruesome as well, after mulling how she mourned her sister because she understood the nature of greed she elected to make a choice rather than live without making any, looking at the sun for once and getting one last banter with Hector before immediately fading to dust. In a show that almost prides itself on hypergore and graphic deaths, this one was perhaps the most tranquil deaths of the show.

Striga and Morana overcome the greed Which leads to the final two of the four sisters. Camilla consumed herself with greed and died fighting for it, Lenore had no greed but also had no freedom so chose to die in order to be free, but lovers Striga and Morana were not in Styria for Isaac's attack, they were on the outskirts fighting and seeing the struggle firsthand. Their conflict over how they agreed and disagreed on certain aspects of the fight was intriguing, with the intermission of Striga on a tear in her swanky armour to tilt the tone to Striga's side of the argument. A Soldier and a Politician, both agreed though that Camilla's ambitions only worked on paper, so when confronted with their castle overrun and their sister dead it became a matter of duty or survival. Instead of dying in a good fight, Striga looked past her desire of battle and agreed to follow Morana in living, and Morana gave up any political power she could have under an empire to be a mercenary. They didn't overreach, and it spares them their lives in a surprising conclusion where the 'bad guys' still kinda get to live happily ever after.

The ReHumanization of Alucard Alucard has always been a fan favourite, but in the world of Castlevania he still acts as an outcast. While helping the village and getting close to Greta helps bring out some positive emotions in him, it's his dedication to saving the people that gives the show some of its lightest moments, especially when he toys with the kids. In a way it's what he wanted from the twins, but they had lived to not trust and wanted to kill rather than survive, and he grew a community out of it. Allowing the town to settle is the ultimate payoff for Alucard too, because it fulfills his mother's dream, now there are people who know the knowledge that his father did.

Bringing the old band together We all knew that Trevor and Sypha were gonna reunite with Alucard sometime near the end, I mean it's a shame they ditched a city that cannot organize themselves but they were kinda needed in the castle. What's best is that the moment came in it was like they never left, perfectly in sync and bantering off each other, when they fought the top level vampires it was their teamwork and synergy which made them overcome - which is great battle narrative too because alone they were getting beaten. It's just the stuff you love to see.

Trevor is tougher than Death The final battle being Trevor vs Death was a proper Attack on Titan-esque boss fight, just peeling away at the enemy and trying not to get hit. As well as a feast for the eyes it proved to be an entertaining climax - in spite of the limited info we got on the magic 3-piece dagger - and in a way it paid off Trevor's character journey. When we first met him he was an outcasted drunk that wanted nothing to do with the world let alone his family, but now he's here fighting death to save innocent people, his half-vampire buddy and his pregnant speaker magician girlfriend, being willing to give his own life for something bigger than himself, and succeeding...thanks to Saint Germain who owed him a favour and one very clever unsung hero of a horse. To tell you the truth when I saw the trailer I was expecting Sypha to have died and Trevor to be pulling her out of hell by fighting death, but this still worked really well and was perhaps a bit more logical to the canon they set.

Death is temporary, Dracula is forever With all the attempts to revive Dracula one had to work eventually. But back at Season 3 I'm sure we all thought about what would Dracula's reaction be anyway. I mean, yeah he's dead but his wife is there, you really wanna be the guy who ripped him from his wife a second time? It worked though because the people loyal to Dracula never truly understood his grief, they only wanted to further their own agendas through him. So when Dracula does come back in the final scenes with his wife, we see that Vlad Tepes is no longer the vicious killer he once was, not for now anyway. Reviving Dracula may make people think that Trevor and Sypha's actions in Season 3 and 4 were worthless because he still revives but you do have to remember that they do still save a few lives and make a few less night creatures. In addition if they want to expand the universe long into the future they can bring Dracula back in older and disillusioned again if they see fit.

He has many faces, but you still know him At about episode 8 I was really ramping up to tear into the Alchemist and Varney for being practically useless characters, but then the show went and hit me with a great twist by having both characters being guises of Death itself, the proper big bad of the season. It was a fantastic twist which validates the characters, because it was super suspect that the alchemist know where the girl was and said you can't look at her rebus, and that Varney felt like a beta Godbrand but still managed to slither away from the fights. His design was excellent too, the crown was really menacing.

A Surprise Happy Ending! Like, could any of us imagined that? The fight ends, Trevor and Sypha live happily to make a family, Alucard has his friends, a girlfriend and a community that appreciates him, Isaac has his own kingdom, Hector doesn't get the girl or a finger but he still has his freedom, Striga and Morana have each other, it mostly wrapped up very neatly and was earned, a satisfying end which closes the chapter on our trio.

Conclusion

It is sad to see great shows end, Castlevania's use of anime-style animation with gore and a strong voice cast has done extremely well, especially for a show who only got 4 episodes for a first season. It did feel like Netflix didn't give it a chance, but it pulled it off big time and escaped Netflix's cancel hammer long enough to bring a satisfying story, and one can hope we see more of this style and universe either in more Castlevania stories or even the rumored Devil May Cry adaptation.

[kirk-spock-in-the-impala]

Between You and the World (5 of 6)

CHAPTER 5: Touch - Early Spring, Year 1254  (on AO3 here)

CW: mentions of hunger and associated weight loss caused by food scarcity; non-consensual touching (not sexual and NOT between Geralt and Jaskier); Geralt's headspace

Approximately 6,100 words under the cut.

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This year, after spending the winter apart, Jaskier and Geralt reunited in Novigrad.  Jaskier had received a lucrative offer from the family of one of his schoolmates from Oxenfurt to be the noble family’s bard in residence for the winter season – no doubt prompted by Jaskier’s recent win at the Bardic Continental Championships – so Geralt had returned to spend the winter as usual with his fellow witchers in Kaer Morhen.  

 After the long, dark winter had finally started to lift and the snow cleared from the mountain pass, Geralt had set out from Kaer Morhen to make the several weeks long trek across the Continent to Novigrad with Roach, clearing up minor contracts along the way.  The winter past had been a long and hard one, bitter cold and heavy snows resulted in a lean spring, with many plants and animals having failed to survive the winter. It would be a difficult growing season and villages would face a run of hungry weeks before the spring crops flourished.

 When such conditions struck, merchants and innkeepers were unwilling to share their food stocks with a Witcher, preferring to keep the valuable goods for “good human folk”, as one particularly outspoken merchant had put it.  Geralt was used to such a reaction and had packed as much as he could carry to tide himself over until he reached Novigrad.  Strips of jerky, dried fruits, and hard biscuits from Kaer Morhen’s stores shared limited saddle bag space with Roach’s oats on his ride out from the old keep, but he could only carry enough for half the journey – less if he failed to strictly ration himself – so he alternated hunting with eating from his stores.  

 With harsh spring conditions following a bitter winter, hunting days often ended as fasting days, and Geralt quickly turned from lean to thin, what little fat he carried burning away to keep his body moving.  He wouldn’t die from the lack, witchers could survive long periods of total deprivation, but he was looking forward to the fresh, warm meals he would share with Jaskier in Novigrad before they set out on the Path once more.   Perhaps they could spend the next winter together again in Oxenfurt.  Geralt could never abandon his Path, but Jaskier had shown him that little breaks, little indulgences, could brighten his existence without threatening his purpose.  Geralt’s heart warmed and a small, private smile crossed his face as he thought of his friend, fond memories lending eager anticipation his journey.

Geralt reached Novigrad on a blustery, overcast day, soaked through and covered in mud from the heavy rains that had followed him the past several leagues.  The sea breeze was bracing and flocks of gulls screamed overhead.  All around the large, walled city, hardy, coastal plants were just starting to come into bud and leaf as the days warmed from winter’s chill.

 Jaskier must have paid the guard to watch out for him because he met Geralt at the gate, dressed warmly in a thick, woolen cloak and doublet, winter breeches and boots all new and of the highest quality.  

 Jaskier beamed when Geralt approached, embracing him firmly, headless of the mud and water soaking into his fine clothes.  Geralt breathed in Jaskier’s scent, rosin and honey immediately soothing, and returned the quick embrace before following Jaskier deep into the wealthiest part of the city.

 Jaskier had spent the winter with the family of his dear friend, Lady Annabelle de Rottermund, the daughter of Countess Rottermund, a wealthy, noble lady who had settled in Novigrad after the death of her dearly departed husband to be closer to the arts. She was a patron of all the bardic students at nearby Oxenfurt, ensuring the instruments, instructors, and facilities remained top-notch, and was known to employ a special favorite bard or two to provide entertainment for her winter social gatherings and elaborate balls.

 Jaskier told Geralt about his season as they walked through the cobbled streets, sun just starting to peek through the heavy clouds, the sound of Roach’s hooves echoing off the surrounding buildings.  He told Geralt about the thrill of performing for a large, appreciative crowd, about the many long discussions he’d had with Countess Rottermund about the history of the bardic arts, and about the slow, quiet hours he had spent composing and practicing, improving his craft day by day.  

 As they approached the large townhouse occupied by the Countess Rottermund, its large, stone façade taking up an entire city block and climbing up four, glided stories, Jaskier spoke of long nights, of endless days spent looking out the window, restless for adventure.  Just before they entered the yard, halting Geralt with a soft hand on his elbow, Jaskier told him about how often he thought of Geralt and how glad he was they were reunited.  Geralt was so touched by the words that he didn’t know how to respond, so he let his instincts dictate, touching his forehead to Jaskier’s and closing his eyes for a moment, feeling Jaskier’s warmth against him.  As usual, in Jaskier’s remarkable way, he understood.

 With a broad smile, Jaskier took Geralt’s arm and led him through the large, wrought iron gate, nodding to the guard as he passed.  He showed Geralt the stable he’d chosen for Roach, a spacious corner stall with thick, sweet smelling straw, and introduced the young stable hand.  After leaving strict instructions, and watching to see if the boy was competent, Geralt was satisfied and left Roach to be pampered, following Jaskier up into the house.  

 To Geralt’s surprise, Jaskier not only led him in through the front door, rather than the servant’s back entrance, but up to a large guestroom on the main floor of the home.   Geralt was conscious of each speck of mud he left on the carpets, of each drop of rainwater he left in his wake, and felt his shoulders tensing, waiting for a manicured footman to jump out at him in a rage.  He slunk behind Jaskier like an old hunting dog who knew he was breaking the rules, trying to make himself as small as possible in the grand space.  

 Jaskier, of course, was comfortable as anything, striding confidently through the finely appointed halls and greeting each servant as they passed.  This is the life he deserves, Geralt thought, comfortable, safe, warm, nothing like the Path.  But he knew by now that this life was not what Jaskier wanted. For some inexplicable reason, Jaskier preferred jerky and campfires with Geralt to all the trappings of noble life. After all their years together, Geralt accepted that Jaskier’s choice was made, but he didn’t think he would ever fully understand it.

 Jaskier finally stopped, pushing open a richly carved wooden door and leading Geralt inside the well-appointed bedchamber.  There was no question that they would share, as was their wont.  An enormous, four-poster bed dominated the space, draped in thick, soft furs.  A fire burned merrily in the hearth, chasing away the chill, and carpets and tapestries ensured no speck of stone was exposed that might chill an unwary occupant. Off to the side of the room was a separate bathing chamber, an unimaginable luxury, with a deep, soaking tub cut into the floor, steam rising from the surface of the water.  

 Jaskier smiled as he saw Geralt’s attention latch onto the bath.  “I knew you’d like that,” he said. “I had them draw it for you before I left to pick you up.”

 Geralt hummed in appreciation, dropping his dirty pack carefully to the side of the hearth, far enough away from the flames to be safe, but still on the flagstones and well away from the fine rugs.

 Jaskier continued as Geralt peeled off his boots and armor, carefully placing each piece by his wet pack to clean and dry later.  “Countess Rottermund wants us to attend her for dinner.  She recently acquired a large plot of land about thirty leagues up the coast and wants to update her bestiary and determine the best possible monster deterrents to keep her new vassals safe.  If you’re amenable, I believe she wants you to visit the site and help oversee implementing the protections and training the village overseers.”

 “Hmm, sounds like a long job.”  Geralt said, stripping off his soaked tunic and leggings, heading toward the bathing chamber in only his smalls.  

 “A couple months at least, I would think.”  Jaskier agreed.  “But Countess Rottermund pays well and it could help save the villagers from running afoul of the local monsters.  I’m sure she’ll tell you everything at dinner.”

 Jaskier watched as Geralt settled himself in the bath, averting his eyes as he removed his smalls before stepping into the steaming water.  

 A knock suddenly sounded.  Geralt started, eyes focusing on the outer door, which was just visible from the tub, but remaining relaxed for now.  He was safe in Jaskier’s chambers and would only become concerned if Jaskier showed any sign of upset.  Geralt watched as Jaskier opened the outer door, speaking to a man on the other side, before he stepped back and allowed the man in.  The new arrival was accompanied by two young maidservants. Jaskier looked mildly annoyed, but not worried, so Geralt sat back in the steaming water, waiting to see what unfolded.

Jaskier led the man and the two maidservants over to the bathing chamber, gesturing for them to wait at the door while he knelt next to Geralt where he sat in the bath, feet level with Geralt’s shoulders because of how the bath was cut into the floor.  

 “Geralt, Countess Rottermund sent her under-butler and two maid servants to help you bathe and dress for dinner.  I know it’s a bit heavy handed, but they’re trustworthy and it’s well meant.  Are you all right with them helping you?”

 Geralt studied the three newcomers in the doorway.  They showed no signs of aggression or disgust, simply waited patiently with a blank expression as all good servants were trained to do.  If Jaskier believed them trustworthy, then Geralt would trust his judgment.  He nodded.

 Jaskier smiled down at him.  “All right then.”  He motioned to the others to get started.  “Enjoy your pampering!”  Jaskier clapped a hand on Geralt���s shoulder and retreated into the bedchamber, closing the inner door behind him to keep the bathing chamber warm.  Geralt heard him settle onto the lounge by the fire, pulling out a book and flipping through it before starting to read.

 The under-butler, a portly man in his late middle age, bowed slightly to Geralt.  “Master Witcher, I am Boris and these two maids are Agnes and Catherine.”  He said, gesturing to each young woman in turn.  “We are here to help you bathe and dress for the dinner with Countess Rottermund tonight.”

 Boris rolled up his sleeves and lined the edge of the bath with towels while the two maids prepared bath oils, brushes, sponges, and scrubs.  The scent of the various products merged together, strong enough individually, but together they gave Geralt a slight headache.  He ignored it.  It wouldn’t do to offend Jaskier’s patron over something so insignificant as bathing products.

 Geralt ducked down under the water, wetting his hair thoroughly.  He hadn’t had a bath since leaving Kaer Morhen, and the dirt, monster blood, and body oil left his hair a dull, knotted mass.  It would take some serious work to make it presentable. Under the water, he scraped his fingers through his thick, white hair, dragging his long nails across his scalp to try and loosen the matting.

 When he surfaced, Boris was behind him, a large bar of oil soap in his hand.  Soap was uncommon given its expense, so the Countess was clearly invested in making sure Geralt was as clean as possible before meeting him. Geralt started to see Boris looming in his blind spot, but quickly suppressed it, turning and reaching out a hand for the soap.  

 Boris pulled it back. “No, no,” he said.  He knelt behind Geralt, soap in hand, and gestured for him to face forward.  “I am here to assist with your bathing.”

 Geralt glared up at him.  “I can bathe myself.”

 Boris placed a hand on Geralt’s shoulder and spun him around.  Geralt flinched at the contact, but allowed Boris to move him, unwilling to risk hurting him or appearing aggressive.  Boris dumped a small basin of water over Geralt’s head and followed it immediately with the bar of oil soap, scrubbing it into Geralt’s hair.  

 Geralt sat forward and away from Boris’s ministrations.  “Stop it!”  He said sharply, unable to keep the growl from his voice. “I can bathe myself!”

 Boris frowned at him, looking down at him much as he would at a dog who peed on the Countess’s carpet. “This resistance is most unbecoming, Master Witcher.  Countess Rottermund instructed us to assist with your bathing and dressing to ensure you were presentable.  We will not allow this behavior to interfere with the performance of our duties!”  His voice sharped toward the end, frustration and distaste breaking through his professional demeanor.

 Agnes whispered to Catherine behind the stack of towels she was holding, assuming Geralt couldn’t hear them.  “Given the state of him, I wonder if he’s ever had a bath!” Geralt could hear Catherine titter in response.  

 Geralt turned his glare on Agnes, making it clear he heard every word.  She gave him an insincere nod of apology.

 With Geralt’s attention on Agnes, Boris again grabbed his shoulder from behind, pulling him back to sit against the back of the tub.  Geralt flinched at the contact, but again allowed it.  Boris was a human, and a servant of Jaskier’s patron, and Geralt couldn’t risk resisting and being cast as an aggressor.

 Geralt clenched his teeth until his jaw cramped, but forced himself to stay still as Boris resumed his work soaping up Geralt’s hair.  Boris’s frustration with Geralt was clear in the rough way he scrubbed the soap in to the matted locks.  As he worked, he looked up toward the maids, gesturing at them with a flick of his double chin.

 Agnes and Caroline immediately complied, leaving the fresh towels to the side of the chamber and coming to kneel by the edge of in-ground tub, one on each side of Geralt. They rolled up their sleeves and, with clear looks of distaste, each reached into the tub and grabbed one of Geralt’s legs, lifting them up onto the edge of the tub.

 Geralt fought the urge to pull away, fists clenching under the water.  “What are you doing now?”  Geralt ground out, careful to keep his voice calm, quiet, unintimidating.

 Caroline looked down at him, a haughty look on her thin face as she scooped some strongly-scented sea salt scrub onto a foot brush.  “Helping you bathe, of course, Master Witcher.”

 Agnes nodded, mirroring her compatriot’s actions.  “You’ve been travelling so long and in such dirty conditions that we must help you clean up properly before you’re fit to see the Countess.”

 Agnes and Caroline started in on his legs and feet, scrubbing at them with the brushes as if he were a cooking pot with caked on food.  The rough bristles caught in his leg hair and the sea salt stung the small scrapes left by the hard brushes.  They took no care to avoid the small, healing wounds littering his legs either.  It took every scrap of control Geralt had to avoid kicking them off.

 As the maids scoured Geralt’s legs, Boris continued his assault on Geralt’s head, pressing the oil soap hard into Geralt’s hair as his fingernails scraped along Geralt’s scalp, catching his sensitive ears with each pass.  

 Geralt felt trapped. With the way the tub was set into the floor, the three servants loomed over him, a maid on each side and Boris’s large bulk behind him, setting his hackles on edge.  They scrubbed, scraped, and pulled at him, and Geralt felt himself starting to panic.  

 “Stop it!” He demanded.  “I don’t need your help!”

 Boris pulled hard on his ear, pinching it like he would an unruly child, servant’s blank breaking and letting his disgust of Geralt come through in his tone.  “Enough of that!  You may be satisfied living like an animal, but we will not subject our Lady to your filth!”  Agnes and Caroline tittered, sneering down at Geralt.

 Geralt’s heart rate rapidly elevated, his pupils narrowing as his adrenaline soared.  It was too much; it was all too much.  He was exhausted and hungry, unused to human touch or contact after his winter away and his long journey alone.  He couldn’t fight back, couldn’t physically resist and risk hurting them, so he was trapped in the tub, under and beneath antagonists who forced their rough touches upon him in the name of following orders.  

 He’d asked them to stop, demanded that they stop, and yet they refused.  To leave the tub, he would need to physically move at least one of the servants.  The risk of that was unacceptable.  

 His vision tunneled, body taut with tension.  The servants continued their unwanted ministrations, uncaring of his distress or of his clearly stated lack of consent to their touch, pleased that he finally ceased moving.

 Tell me before it becomes too much.  The memory of Jaskier’s voice cut through Geralt’s rising panic.  He drew a breath and called out before he lost his words.

  “Jaskier!”

 His panic must have been evident in his tone because he heard Jaskier’s book fall to the floor as his footsteps raced across the chamber outside.  Jaskier flung open the door to the bathing chamber, taking in the scene.  Geralt was surrounded on all sides, Boris behind him with his hands in Geralt’s hair, Agnes and Caroline on the edges, each scrubbing roughly at one of Geralt’s legs with a brush.  

 Geralt’s eyes were wide and wild, his pupils pinpricks.  He looked up as Jaskier entered, deep lines of tension cutting across his face, begging Jaskier for help without words.

 Jaskier felt a calm rage settle over him.  “Leave us.” He commanded, looking every inch the Viscount he was, voice demanding obedience.

 Boris stood immediately, bowing to Jaskier.  “My Lord, we have orders to ensure Master Witcher is prepared for the dinner with Countess Rottermund tonight.”

 Jaskier’s eyes narrowed, managing to look down his nose at Boris despite the portly man having nearly half a head on him in height.  “Do you doubt my ability to prepare Master Geralt properly?” He demanded, emphasizing Boris’s failure to afford Geralt the respect of calling him by name.

 Boris swallowed hard, his smile gaining an obsequious edge.  “Of course not, my Lord.”

 “Then go.” Jaskier ordered, stepping away from the door in clear command.

 Boris bowed, gesturing for the maids to obey Jaskier’s command.  “Yes, my Lord.  We’ll ring the dinner gong after the seventh bell.”

 Jaskier nodded, watching all three leave, bowing or curtsying to him as they passed.  After they’d cleared the room, Jaskier shut the outer door, locking it behind him before returning to the bathing chamber and closing that door as well.  Geralt stared up at him as if he were a savior, tension melting from his frame. Geralt heaved a sigh and settled back into the steaming water, drawing his legs back into the tub, sinking down until the water reached his chin, white hair fanning around his neck.

 Jaskier lay down next to the tub, eye level with Geralt, chin resting on his crossed arms, headless of the water soaking into his fine woolen clothes.  

 “What happened?” He asked gently.

 “They wouldn’t stop.” Geralt said, his eyes regaining a hunted edge.  “They just kept touching me, scrubbing me.”

 Jaskier pressed his lips together.  He had expected better of the Countess’s servants.  “And none too gently from what I saw.”  Jaskier said.  “I’m so sorry about this, Geralt.  I wanted you to have a nice, relaxing bath after your journey.”

 Geralt sighed, looking down at the water before catching Jaskier’s remorseful gaze.  “I still can, I think.”  He offered a small smile, quirking an eyebrow.  “Will you help?”

 Jaskier smiled, eyes softening.  “Of course, whatever you need.”

 Geralt gestured up at his hair.  “I can take care of the rest, but I need help with this mess.”

 Jaskier chuckled, shaking his head fondly.  “You never do take proper care of your hair.”

 Geralt scowled in mock annoyance.  “Well, I’ll be sure to carry a bath with me next time I travel.”  His lips twitched around a smile.

 Jaskier laughed out right, poking Geralt’s shoulder.  “You’re impossible,” he said, indescribably fond.  He sat up, removed his boots, and carefully rolled up his breeches.  “Is it all right if I sit behind you?” He asked, tone carefully neutral.

 Geralt looked up at him, trust apparent in his open gaze.  “You’re the only one I trust at my back.”

 Jaskier smiled, warmth filling his chest.  Geralt showed him all the time how much he trusted Jaskier, but it was unusual for him to say it so bluntly.  

 “All right then, lean forward a moment.”  Jaskier instructed, positioning himself behind Geralt, one bare leg in the bathwater on either side of him.  Once he was settled, he placed a gentle hand on each of Geralt’s shoulders, guiding him back to rest between Jaskier’s spread legs.  

 Geralt shifted slightly before settling, letting out a sigh of contentment.  

 “All right?” Jaskier asked, picking up the discarded oil soap.

 “Hmm.”  Geralt nodded.

 Jaskier inspected Geralt’s hair, seeing the matting near the scalp and the small flecks of detritus throughout.  Satisfied it wasn’t a lost cause, he worked up a lather from the soap by rubbing it between his hands before setting the bar aside and applying the foam to Geralt’s hair, rubbing it in with long, gentle, circular strokes.  Geralt let out a hum that was practically a purr, melting back into the edge of the tub between Jaskier’s legs and closing his eyes.

 Jaskier hummed a light tune as he worked the soap through Geralt’s hair, carefully picking out bits of detritus.  When he was satisfied, he filled the small rinse basin from the tap used to fill the tub, and tilted Geralt’s head back to rinse the soap out of his hair.  Geralt’s eyes stayed closed, his face relaxed.  If it was Jaskier behind him, then there was nothing to worry about.  Jaskier’s touch was both tolerable and welcome, soothing a part of Geralt that had lain dormant since his childhood.

 With the soap rinsed clean, Jaskier uncapped the bottles of oil one by one, sniffing each before settling on a bottle of lightly scented lavender oil, hoping the calming scent would help ease any remaining tension from Geralt’s unfortunate experience with Countess Rottermund’s servants.  

 He poured a generous amount of oil into his hands before carefully working it into Geralt’s hair, finger combing out the tangles and patiently working through the matted sections.  Geralt thought he might melt.  Or fall asleep.  Jaskier had helped him bathe before, whether because of injury or because the grime in his hair required it, but there was something different about this time. Something was shifting in the air between them, something that had changed with the embrace they shared back at the Alderman’s hut in Lindenvale the summer before.  

 As Jaskier worked the last tangles out of his long, white hair, Geralt leaned over, nuzzling his face into Jaskier’s clothed thigh.  Jaskier’s hands stilled for the briefest moment before continuing to work, moving from Geralt’s clean hair down to massage the knots out of Geralt’s neck and shoulders.  Geralt let out a sigh of contentment, relaxing completely into Jaskier and letting Jaskier take care of him.

 As they heard the sixth bell ring out in the distance, Jaskier dropped a kiss on the crown of Geralt’s newly cleaned head.  He reached for one of the towels, wiping the oil off his hands.  “We have about an hour before dinner, so I’ll set out your clothes while you finish up, all right?”  Jaskier waited for Geralt to nod and sit up before he pulled his legs out of the tub, drying them off before standing and heading back into the bedchamber. He left the door open behind him.

 Geralt stretched his arms up, cracking his neck and rolling his newly loosened shoulders.  He felt more relaxed than he could ever remember being, despite his earlier panic.  It was as Jaskier had told him all these years, if he asked for help, Jaskier would willingly give it, and all would be well.  He felt the slightest twinge of guilt at his indulgence, at allowing Jaskier to care for him, but he ignored it.  Jaskier was his own man and he had shown Geralt time and time again that he wanted to take care of him and that he was pleased if Geralt allowed it. Geralt was even starting to believe that Jaskier enjoyed his affection and his touch, something Geralt had never dared to hope for in all his long life.

 Geralt reached for a small towel, lathering it up with the oil soap and ignoring the rough scrubs and brushes, and washed himself thoroughly, scraping off the grime of his several weeks of travel that had been loosened by his long soak in the tub. Finally satisfied, he stood, pulling the plug to drain the tub, and rinsed himself carefully with the small rinse basin, letting the clean water wash away the last of the soap.  

 He stepped up out of the tub and dried himself with the thick, clean towels before applying the lavender oil Jaskier had chosen all over his freshly cleaned skin.  Warm, clean, and relaxed, he wrapped a fresh towel around his waist and joined Jaskier in the bedchamber.  

 While Geralt had finished bathing, Jaskier had changed into formal dinner clothes, the cut of the fine silk doublet and breeches accentuating his figure and the deep blue color bringing out his eyes.  Jaskier smiled at Geralt and gestured to the clothes he’d laid out on the bed.

 “What do you think?” He asked.  “I had the tailor make them up for you.”  Jaskier had chosen a simple cut for the doublet and breeches, letting the quality of the thick, dark grey silk speak for itself.  There was a subtle pattern across the doublet, embroidered in the same color as the piece itself, adding interest without being ostentatious.  A pair of soft, black, knee high boots rested on the floor beside the bed.

 Geralt hummed, pleased with the simplicity of the clothes but otherwise largely disinterested in the fashion.  Jaskier didn’t take offense, he knew Geralt neither knew nor cared about fashion. His only goal had been to choose something comfortable and inoffensive.  

 He frowned slightly as he studied Geralt’s thin frame, concerned about the drastic weight loss. Geralt caught him looking and raised an eyebrow.  “It was a lean winter, Jaskier.  I’ll gain it back in due time.”

 Jaskier huffed. “I’m not worried about the look of you, I’m just concerned that you get enough to eat.  Can’t have you fainting from hunger during a hunt!”

 Geralt snorted, taking the good-natured teasing as intended. “I’m sure you’ll fatten me up again before we set out.”  

 “Damn right I will!” Jaskier said, handing Geralt a fresh, silk chemise and smalls. “Go on now, get dressed before we’re late.”

 Geralt shook his head fondly, but complied, pulling on the cool, soft underclothes and fine silken formalwear.  The doublet and breeches hung a bit loose, but not enough to be sloppy, Jaskier having accounted for a certain amount of winter weight loss. The soft boots fit perfectly, molding to his feet and calves like old favorites.

 Dressed, Geralt turned to Jaskier, spreading his hands in an unspoken request for Jaskier’s review of his appearance.  Jaskier looked him up and down appreciatively. “You’ll do.”  He said, smiling.  “Now, come here and let me fix your hair.” He gestured to the chair by the fire.  Geralt sat obediently, letting Jaskier smooth out his hair with a long-toothed comb, pulling it back from his face and tying it half-up as he preferred.  

 The seventh bell rang out in the distance, followed almost immediately by the dinner gong. Jaskier squeezed Geralt’s shoulders. “Ready?” He asked.

 Geralt nodded, standing up and heading for the door.  Jaskier stopped him with a gentle hand on his elbow before they exited the room. “Remember, if you need to leave for any reason, just tell me and we’ll leave.”

 Geralt nodded. “I know you’ll take care of me.” He said simply, patting Jaskier’s hand where it rested on his elbow before opening the door for him.  

 Jaskier blinked at him, surprised but pleased by the easy acceptance.  A huge smile spread across his face as he led Geralt out the door, his hand remaining in the crook of Geralt’s arm.

  _________________________________________

  It was near midnight by the time Jaskier and Geralt returned to their chambers.  Countess Rottermund had set an elaborate table for their dinner, an intimate evening with just the four of them in attendance: Jaskier, Geralt, Countess Rottermund, and Lady Annabelle.  The food had been superb and Geralt had eaten his fill, pleased to finally have the chance to fill his belly completely.  

 While they ate, Lady Annabelle and Jaskier had entertained them with tales of their exploits at Oxenfurt and giving Geralt plenty of ammunition with which to tease Jaskier in the future.  

 Unlike her servants, Countess Rottermund, though stern, was kind and treated Geralt with respect.  He imagined the treatment was partly a result of her tolerant nature and partly a result of her clear and genuine affection for Jaskier.  Whatever the cause, Geralt was relieved.

 After they finished their meal, Countess Rottermund got down to business.  Sipping a fine cordial, Countess Rottermund described the land and villages she had inherited on the northern coast above Novigrad.  A distant uncle had died without an heir, and she was his closest blood relation.  The Countess had never met her uncle and had never lived on a country estate, having grown up in Oxenfurt and then in Novigrad, and so was relying up her uncle’s old staff to run the holding.  

 She had been up to her uncle’s manor to meet the men he employed to care for his land and vassals, and she was satisfied they were trustworthy, but all had spoken about monsters plaguing the villages they oversaw.  All the villages suffered from drowners given their proximity to the coast, but one also had a wyvern problem, another lost livestock to endregas, and yet another was devastated by noonwraiths.  When she had reviewed the beastiary the overseers used to help protect the villagers, she’d noticed it was nearly a century out of date.  And, upon review of her uncle’s accounting book, she saw that the last recording of a witcher being hired in the holding was over six decades prior.

 And so, she explained, when Jaskier informed her Geralt was coming to Novigrad, she’d asked him to set up a meeting.  Her plan was simple, but would require several months of work.  She proposed to hire Geralt to update her beastiary, to clear out the monsters currently plaguing the villages, and to help the villagers set up protections and practices to discourage new monsters from taking up residence in her holding.  

 When Geralt had protested, saying that eliminating monsters forever was not possible, she made it clear that she understood monsters were an endemic problem, but that she wanted to give the villagesr in her newly acquired holding the best possible chance against them.

 Ultimately, for a hefty sum that would last Geralt close to a year, paid half in advance, they settled on a plan.  Geralt would clear out the drowners, endregas, noonwraiths, and wyvern currently in residence on his way north out of Novigrad for the season.  Then, in the late autumn, he would return with Jaskier to her holdings, taking up winter residence in a small cottage by the coast in the center of her territory.  Countess Rottermund would ensure the cottage was properly repaired and stocked before they arrived, and would arrange for one of her overseers to bring the beastiary to him, with ample parchment and ink for her edits and additions.  Over the winter, Geralt would update and expand the beastiary.  He would also travel to each village to meet with the village overseer and set up a deterrent plan to protect the villagers going forward.  If any monsters settled in the area after he cleared out the ones currently present, Geralt would eliminate them for an additional fee.

 It took hours for Geralt and Countess Rottermund to settle on terms, but both left the negotiation satisfied.  Jaskier was delighted it had worked out and looked forward to spending the winter on the coast with Geralt.  As they returned to their room, Jaskier chattered about his plans for the coming season, the songs he would work on, the dishes he would prepare to “keep you in good weight, Geralt!”, and how much he would enjoy spending that quiet season with Geralt again as they had years ago in Oxenfurt.  He even promised to arrange for a selection of books to be brought to the cottage for Geralt to read, assuring him the library still had his record and would not send him something he had already read.

 Geralt let Jaskier’s words wash over him, exhaustion creeping up as he prepared for bed.  He removed the finery, folding it carefully, before flopping back onto the bed in his smalls and chemise, Jaskier joining him shortly after, blowing out the candles by the bedside.

 There was nothing new in them sharing a bed – they did it all the time on the Path in much smaller beds than this – but the change Geralt felt earlier made itself known again. The atmosphere was comfortable and quiet, but there was a new weight to it.  Nothing tense or heavy, but a new significance to their shared space that simply hadn’t been there before.  It made Geralt feel like he wanted to bare his soul.

 He turned on his side to face Jaskier, watching the dim light from the dying fire cast shadows on his still youthful face.  Jaskier felt his gaze and turned to him, resting his head on a bent elbow, smiling gently.  They were inches apart.

 Geralt wanted to recapture the closeness he’d felt earlier, wanted to feel that same soul-deep contentment.  He placed his hand, palm up, on the bed between them, offering what he dared not take. Jaskier immediately accepted, placing his hand in Geralt’s and squeezing lightly.  

 “I am glad we will spend the winter together again.”  Geralt said softly, still afraid to speak his thoughts aloud, but made daring by the warm, intimate environment.

 “As am I,” Jaskier said, smiling gently, affection clear on his face.  “I am honored to share your Path.”

 That touched something deep inside Geralt, and he felt some long-held fear, some long-held resistance, give way.  He didn’t know how to express what he felt in words, so he let his instincts lead, trusting that Jaskier would understand, would accept what he offered in the manner intended.

 Geralt stretched forward, closing the small distance between them and placing a gentle kiss on Jaskier’s forehead, mirroring the soft, affectionate gestures Jaskier had bestowed upon him in the past.  Jaskier’s eyes widened in wonder, his mouth dropping open softly.  Geralt searched Jaskier’s eyes and found only steadfast affection.  

 As Geralt studied him, Jaskier drew closer, resting his forehead on Geralt’s and synchronizing their breathing.  He kept his eyes open despite the closeness, watching for any sign of hesitance as he gently, slowly, leaned in and pressed his lips to Geralt’s.  

 The kiss was soft and affectionate.  Loving without demanding, passionate without burning.  It wasn’t a carnal act, but one of the deepest feeling, the sort of quiet, eternal love built up over years of trust and companionship.

 Geralt felt the depth of love Jaskier conveyed with his soft kiss and felt his eyes fill with the strength of his emotions.  He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to, he simply closed the distance between their bodies, winding his arms around Jaskier and burying his face in the crook of Jaskier’s neck, breathing deeply of the comforting scent of rosin and honey. Jaskier cradled him close, nuzzling at his hair and pressing soft kisses to the crown of his head.  

 They didn’t say anything further, they just breathed together in their warm bed, surrounded by soft furs, and slept, content in the knowledge that they were each exactly where they should be.

Requested tags for updates: @thesunshinemanman @animaniac1017

[nightmarenoise]

Just comparing two cartoons I love

I understand that nobody asked in any capacity, but here I go anyway:

It feels fair to compare Ducktales 2017 to Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018), not only because they're only about a year apart and truly, what is a year, but also because they

1. Both use this style that looks like it jumped straight out of a comic book. Okay, it's mostly the solidly inked shadows, but it gives me, personally, comic-y vibes.

2. They have taken what's arguably the main characters (the triplets for DT, the Turtles for TMNT) and shaken the formula up a good bit. Were the triplets formerly indistinguishable and all had the exact same personality, interests and voice actor, they are now three entirely separate entities with different traits and appearances. And while the turtles had about one defining personality trait and looked basically the same, save for the color of their masks, Rise made them different species of turtle to justify giving them radically different designs and three-dimensional personalities. Both shows faced criticism for this decision from people who cannot deal with change. Despite this, in both cases, it just works and does so incredibly well.

3. The oldest bros wear red.

4. We have two middle bros associated with the color blue who are both voiced by Ben Schwartz.

5. Both shows have a focus on family, with Ducktales especially focusing on found family and Rise on brotherhood.

6. Anime references!

Ducktales has a larger cast overall, with a lot of different characters all interacting with each other and they all have the most pleasant voices I've ever heard in my entire life. It's all solidly animated, the style is consistent and the animation is fluid, the characters are diverse and they're all lovely in their own right, except for those who aren't. The writing is top notch. Everyone feels consistent despite the large cast and it's delightful to watch all those interesting people interact with each other in their own way. The show also handles its mystery elements and occasional action scenes incredibly well, building suspense and delivering laughs and gut punches without hesitation. They juggle different tones like a professional clown, except the true clown was us, the audience, all along, for ever having doubted them.

The overarching plot of Ducktales, for its first two seasons, was mostly to uncover the mystery of what had happened to the mother of the triplets and all that would entail. Mystery and mythical elements will likely continue to be afoot for season 3.

Rise works with less focal characters, we have the Turtles, Splinter and April as well as various bad guys, but more than makes up for it with a lot of animation. A lot a lot of animation and it's all high quality. There's usually so much going on on-screen that a watching it once isn't enough to catch it all. Despite that, it doesn't feel crowded or rushed. Lots of dynamic shots and incredibly-choreographed action scenes, but nothing the thoroughly solid writing has to hide behind. Even when the baddies aren't the main concern, they're still well-rounded, interesting characters with unique abilities and motivations. Although, most of the mutants are just really feral. Still a delightfully diverse cast.

The turtles on the other hand spent their first season trying to foil their various foes, from a yokai trying to mutate all of humanity, to his mutants, to dealing with random mythical stuff, to the nefarious Foot Clan trying to reassemble the Dark Armor in the shadows. It's generally a more action-driven show, but they still find the time for some heartfelt moments.

The triplets 2.0

Despite their conventiently color-coded caps, they were really mostly the same character possessing three different bodies at a time. Well, the times of eerie The Shining like-twins, except extended to triplets, are over!

We have Huey, the oldest brother, voiced by Danny Pudi. He's a gentle, intellectual soul who values red hats, science, scout badges and checklists. Huey is arguably the closest in characterization to the original triplets, with some additional neat freak sprinkled in for flavor. He tries to be the responsible older sibling and keep his brothers under control and out of trouble. He also seems to have the most fiery temper of the bunch and should clearly not be pressed to the breaking point. He's my personal favorite and I heard season 3 will bring more focus to him, which makes me elated to hear. 888/10.

Middle child Dewey, the blue one, voiced by Ben Schwartz, who will inevitably come for all the iconic blue characters. He's very clearly the middle one, because he craves attention and validation and occasionally dreams of being an only child. Dewey is the one who started the investigation into their mom's disappearance and kept it from his brothers, partially to save them from hurt, but also because he wanted to feel special. He's the most interested in going on adventures with their uncle, but can get reckless when doing so. He's a bit of a spotlight hog, who has his own talk show that nobody watches and sings his own theme song when he needs to get hyped up, or just to fill this silence. This may sound kind of negative, but rest assured, he's a good, sweet boy. The focal triplet for the first season. 500/10.

Louie, the evil triplet, a schemer and a conman. Voiced by Bobby Moynihan.  The youngest of the bunch. While they call him evil, he's really far too lazy to cause serious harm, except for when it's his laziness that's causing him to take dangerous shortcuts, oops. He dreams of making a fortune, but without having to work for it and preferably without any responsibility either, thank you. He also occasionally dreams of being a spoiled fat cat. Despite his chill demeanor, he can be a bit of a crybaby and those tears are only fake 50% of the time. I feel like he likes getting babied, but mainly because that means there's less work for him to do. Season 2, which focuses more on him, reveals that he's actually quite brilliant, capable of seeing all the angles and giving him some chessmaster-like qualities. He needs to learn to use those abilities for good. 665/10.

Hi, she's Webbie! The honorary triplet, who also got a massive makeover, from annoying token girl tagalong to socially awkward, adorkable action girl. Be careful who you call ugly in middle school, indeed. Like a more ferocious  Mabel Pines, she has a grappling hook and years of martial arts training under her belt. Webbie can absolutely decimate you, but won't, because she's a sweet girl. Voiced by Kate Micucci. She continues to like unicorns and the color pink, but assuredly in the most badass of ways. She helped Dewey with his quest to uncover the mystery of his missing mom, but works well with all of the triplets, with Huey taking her under his wing a bit and Louie trying to get her to chill out more. Webbie is a sweetheart and I would die for her, were it not completely unnecessary, since she's more than capable of taking care of herself. ∞/10.

A lot of the supporting cast also saw updates and changes, for instance Gyro being a genius without social skills and Fenton being an adorkable scientist, but again, they work really well. They're interesting new takes on beloved characters. Even the new additions to the cast are great. In short, I love me some birds and am excited for season 3, Disney, get your scheduling together.

The Turtles 2.14.2 - I upgraded my upgrade in the middle of the upgrade

Also, these guys have seen so many different iterations in their, what, 30+ years of existence. As someone with no prior attachment to the turtle brand, I don't have a lot to say here. Leo's not the leader in this one and Raph has more personality than being angry at Leo for being the leader. Donnie is not just a random nerd spouting technobabble and Mikey has more depth than yelling the catchphrase every now and again. Apparently, this made people upset. I don't know how to help you with that.  The middle brothers exude some high chaotic energy and should not be left unsupervised, but the oldest and youngest seem fairly stable.

Raphael, the red-bandana'd alligator snapping turtle is an imposing figure. He's the oldest and therefore team leader by default. Raph has no reason to be upset at Leo, so he isn't. Despite his ferocious appearance, he's a soft guy, who likes teddies and doting on his brothers, but fears puppets. He's a bit of a knucklehead, most of his plans involve smashing things with his tonfa and he may refer to himself in the third person in the heat of the moment, but he possesses emotional intelligence, is open about his feelings and looks after his brothers. He is big and and strong, but his heart is bigger and stronger. He especially loves small animals animals, who don't usually return his feelings. RIP in F. This responsible guy is voiced by Omar Benson Miller. 300/10, very soft. Somehow both the heart and the big guy of the group.

Donatello has been upgraded from second-to-youngest to second-to-oldest, not that it makes much of a difference. His color of choice is purple and he continues in the character's tradition of being a nerd, although this time, with self-confidence. Donnie is very sure of himself and his abilities. As a spiny soft-shell turtle, he's less sure of his shell, but that's okay, he's made robotic battle shells to make up for it and his bō is the mother of all multitools. This guy can build you a tank out of a buggie and upgrade your animatronic into something to give the FNAF franchise a run for its money. He's the smartest of the four and when not focused on his phone, very focused on the mission. Due to having to deal with his bros, he can be exasperated a lot. Thinks of himself as an emotionally unavailable bad boy, even though he's just really sensitive and wants his dad or someone parent-aged to tell him they're proud of him. Theater kid. 999/10, give the middle child a hug and some coffee, you can't tell me he has a healthy sleep cycle. This sarcastic nerd is brought to you by Josh Brener.

Leonardo, Ben Schwartz's second blue character (Sonic (2020) being the third under his belt) and also his second ninja after Randy Cunningham. He's not the leader. He's still a good character. Leo has approximately 800 charisma and unwavering faith in both, his family and himself. Mostly himself though. Like Louie, season 2 revealed that he is a master of prediction and playing people like the cheap kazoo you can't tell me he doesn't have to play Darude's Sandstorm on. He dabs, he boards, he will pun you to death and back and he has an Odachi that can cut through space. Leo likes hogging the spotlight when given the chance and wants to be showered with attention and praise. Having four kids really only means twice the middle child nonsense. Leo is a red-eared slider, the original species of the TMNT, as I've been told. He's also the best at being a ninja, but usually too lazy to really apply himself. He's younger than Donnie, but tumblr suggested to read the two as twins, since they're approximately the same age, which sheds a whole new light on their dynamic and frankly, makes way too much sense. 420/10, for our memelord Leonardo.

Michelangelo, the eternally youngest of the bunch. An artiste, who puts stickers on himself, tags the lair, has a spiritual connection to his skateboard and the color orange. Mikey loves all things arts and craft, but he also tries his hands at cooking. He idolizes famous TV chefs and can do pretty much anything out of and into pizza. He's funny, without being annoying, like I feel a lot of other iterations of this character are. It's an easy pitfall for comic relief guys, but this one is more than that. If that's an issue, feel free to leave my house. Mikey is genuinely sweet and happy, optimistic and soft, but also the one brother who knows when it's time to take off the gloves and just get straight to the point. He's open about and in touch with his feelings. He's just baby. Don't treat him as one though. A lot of promo stuff says Leo has taken him under his wing, but he's had more episodes together with Donnie. Not that I'm complaining, they work very well together. Mikey and Raph are both the emotional centers of the group. Does not mind being yeeted after retracting into his shell, as box turtles may do. (Disclaimer, do not yeet actual box turtles!) His weapon of choice is a Kusari-Fundo that can turn into a fire-demon and is about as unpredictable as he is. Likes to jump and bounce around. Probably does parkour. Voiced by Brandon Mychal Smith who is audibly having a blast. 500/10, just an all around Kusari-fun guy.

For last, but certainly not least, April O'Neil, my girl, who saw an upgrade from flip-flopping love interest who was vaguely ninja-ing, but mostly damsel in distress-ing, to all-around spunky powerhouse and by God, she is glowing. Rise has her more as a big sister figure to the turtles, and I will not be told otherwise. She is independent and don't need no man, mutant or no. She has her teleporting pet, her faith in herself, her pinpoint baseball hitting skills and the a complete and utter lack of fear. Despite being a weirdness magnet, April is perfectly comfortable. She would like to be able to keep a job, maybe, but she has loving friends who respect and love her. Surprisingly good a ninja, fearless and fun. Occasionally thinks about being popular at school, but it's really not a big concern, she's not gonna throw a tantrum over it or anything. April is very chill. Not likely to be damseled. More likely to run after the turtles and clean up their messes or save them and everyone involved is fine with that.

The late 10's are really coming in to show us how dynamic and well-written female characters that aren't just "strong", but three-dimensional and relatable are done, huh?

An iconic performance by Kat Graham and ∞/10 for being the honorary better ninja non-mutant non-turtle and best big sister.

Here we have it, two older properties, having new life breathed into them to make them fresh and enjoyable. Have a new spin put on them, to better fit in with our current world. You can feel the love oozing out of every frame. At the end of the day, of course, it all boils down to taste and whether or not you like something. I gave Ducktales 2017 a go because a lot of the staff from Gravity Falls went to work on it and if you don't know me, I love me some Gravity Falls. It's a good show and I enjoy it. I recently got into Rise and while I don't know much about the people working on it, it is also a greatly enjoyable show, easily on the same level as Ducktales, if not above, yet with far less people speaking about it. Which is frankly saddening. I can only recommend the two of them wholeheartedly. If you love animation, yourself and occasionally feeling things, these are for you!

[whatsyourcolor]

Psycho-Pass 3 - Episode 4 review [SPOILERS]

I think I was very vocal in my dislike for this episode, which is a pity because I thought the first three episodes were top notch. I still hope that the four episodes that are left have the same level of quality of the first three. I’m not trying to spread negativity; I love Psycho-Pass and have been waiting since the Psycho-Pass movie came out for a third season. Please feel free to disagree with me or call me out if I’m wrong. These are the reasons I didn’t like this episode:

1. There’s barely any investigation and deduction. 

Erie happens to "catch” a lead regarding the professor that pulled an Epstein in the last episode. Not much is said except that a place was rented in the abolition blocks under the name of his daughter. When Arata, Erie and Tenma show up there, an AI tells them everything they need to know. It makes their job so much easier and convenient.  

2. Karina is not really “evil”, she’s just a really bad public speaker who doesn’t like immigrants. 

So turns out Karina is pulling a Milli Vanilli type of situation when she has a holo that has been created by the aforementioned professor to perform better as a politician and thus better influence the masses. There’s some interesting commentary by Yayoi and Arata at some point about how easy is to manipulate humans that want to be manipulated and don’t want to make decisions for themselves. Coming from Yayoi, I get it. Coming from Akane, I get it. But how does Arata have such skepticism for the system? Maybe we’d know if they told us something about his past. Oh well. Tenma made a similar comment in the last episode about how immigrants are used by both politicians as a way to manipulate the people. 

3. Is this Infernal Affairs?

So we know the reason why Arata couldn’t read Karina was because she was wearing a full-body holo all the time. How holos can send our little hero into full catatonia is still to be explained. We know she’s wearing a holo because the AI told Arata, but how do the terrorists that came onto the stage know that she’s fake? Did the Bifrost, foxes, Roundrobin and all other people tell Enomiya’s guys what Karina’s deal was in order to manipulate public opinion? In that note, is the MWPSB being blatantly manipulated too? Is Erie a mole for the foxes since he’s the one who came up with the lead? Who knows if any of these questions will be ever answered. 

4. Arata is Spiderman, Sherlock Holmes, an X-man, Dr. Manhattan and Harry Potter all at once.

I like Arata, I do. I just wished there was more depth to his character than knowing everything and doing everything right. The ultra-optimist character in anime is a little overused. What’s the weakness of this guy? Where’s his anxiety, his deductions, his contradiction, his conflict? Not even Akane Tsunemori is this optimistic. Him and Kei believe the system isn’t everything, but why? Akane saw with her own eyes the flaws of the system. How do these two know the system isn’t everything? It would help if they gave us a little backstory. There has to be a reason why they say things like these that in other seasons (including S2) would get at least a soft reprimand from others. 

Look at that inspired face!

5. The animation 

Yes, okay. This one is petty. We’ve had top quality in the first three episodes and we got spoiled. We shouldn’t expect every episode to have the same quality. It still wasn’t as crappy as episode 18 of Season 1, true. But it was still sour to the eye. 

6. This stupid action scene. 

I hated everything about it. It was unrealistic, silly and unnecessary. I’m still trying to figure out what the point of it was. 

Interesting things about this episode and personal theories

• I do think Erie might be a mole playing for both sides and that he may be personally involved in Akane getting incarcerated. We know he was her informer. His ex-colleague tells him that since Irie started giving information to Akane Tsunemori... 

• We know that both Irie and Tenma worked in the investigation where the “accident” happened. It’s clarified in this episode that it wasn’t an accident, but plain murder. An Inspector died and no one has told us who that Inspector was.

• Tenma is “protecting” Erie from getting into trouble. Why? This is the second time an enforcer hides one of these business cards. 

• Still, Tenma goes and gives the cards to both Inspectors and says another non-clue to them (that the Inspector that was investigating with Tsunemori got murdered.) Was Tenma hiding the cards from someone else? From Roundrobin, Bifrost, the foxes and everyone else who still has not appeared this season? . 

These two are about to meet the fool below:

I’m so glad he got punched on the nose. 

[otonymous]

hiii, could you possibly do some "first times" HCs with Ikesen Masamune? (obviously both him and MC have prior experience, but just their first time together!) I loved the one you did for Yuki! Thank you! 💕💖💞💘💗💝💓

Hi lovely Anon!  Thank you so much for this ask!  Masamune is so much fun to write for and I always have a blast doing it.  Happy reading!

Warning:  NSFW/18+: explicit/graphic language - reader discretion is advised

First Times With Masamune (Ikesen Headcanon)

Your relationship in general:

CHEMISTRY 101

You and Masamune together is like fanning a flame, adding fuel to fire: both of you burn brighter in each other’s company

Masamune is already rowdy to begin with — he gets downright unmanageable in your presence (Hideyoshi doesn’t know what to do with him and is ALMOST on the verge of giving up)

The other warlords all remark that the more time you spend with Masamune, the more of his qualities you take on (especially Ieyasu, Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide)

What they don’t realize is that you’ve always had a wild streak, it was just tempered by what society expected of you (e.g. growing up feeling like you had to be an obedient child, respecting authority figures, conforming to society’s image of what constitutes a good student/employee/etc.)

They never could do away with your smart mouth though, as Nobunaga can attest to

Masamune, who gives zero f-cks about what anyone else thinks about him (aside from you) and does what he pleases, is only drawing out from you what was already there to begin with

You were initially scared out of your wits in his presence, but then soon realize that it all just feels so…natural

Of course, you still have a very different stance compared to Masamune when it comes to physical violence and war

But rarely have you ever felt such simpatico with another human being, whether back in your own time, or here, 500 years in the past

All the other warlords, while supportive, are secretly envious of Masamune’s relationship with you (except Mitsunari, who doesn’t really know what’s going on): it’s almost criminal for a couple to have that much fun and look at each other with such smouldering passion in their eyes

Of course, all of this translates into HOT SEXY TIMES…

First kiss:

Were you always this turned on from a kiss alone?

Masamune is a skilled kisser - knows how to make you melt with just the soft press of his lips against yours and his tongue will bring you to your knees…literally

The moment you feel him slide that tongue into your mouth, you are gone, putty in his hands

Cocky bastard knows he’s good at this.  He’s had enough experience with women swooning in his arms from his kiss alone

What he didn’t expect was how affected he would be by yours

Once your lips meet, he’s suddenly ravenous, hungrily exploring every inch of your mouth and sucking your tongue into his.  He’s gently sinking his teeth into your lower lip and tugging playfully

The rest of his body responds in kind: he’s grinding into you, hands freely roaming over your clothes (is that his erection you’re feeling against your thigh through his hakama?!)

Masamune can’t quite put into words why he’s responding so fervently to you, he just knows he never wants to stop

Perhaps it’s the grip of your fingers on his hair, tugging gently as if to tame a wild animal.  Or perhaps some hidden note in the warm fragrance of your skin that he detects at the base of your neck.  Or the way your moans are reminiscent of a kitten’s purrs before he greedily swallows them into his mouth.  There’s just something about you that brings out the beast in him

”I love you.”

The first time Masamune tells you he loves you, it will be completely spontaneous

You find yourselves in another near-death situation (no surprise there), the two of you looking wild with ripped clothes, disheveled hair and dirt on your faces

And when you each finally catch your breath to take in the sight of the other through wide eyes, you crumple against one another in belly shaking laughter, both trying not to embarrass yourselves further by becoming incontinent as well

When the laughter finally dies down, he’ll suddenly reach out to gently brush the mud away from your face, softly saying, “I love you, kitten”

You are dumbstruck, frozen in place.  Never once did you think he would be the first to say it.  You love him to death, but were afraid to tell him because he just didn’t seem to be the type to ever settle down with a single partner

Masamune surprises even himself when the words leave his lips as naturally as breathing: he’s never made this kind of declaration before nor even had the inclination to do so.  But then again, he’s also never met someone quite like you before.

The man has had his share of women, but they’ve been a rotating door of one-night stands with the sole purpose of sating a physical need

The thought that you could be the one to “tame” him actually frightens Masamune a bit: suddenly his reckless behaviour on the battlefield can have consequences.  What if he never returns to see you again?

But it’s already too late.  If the words didn’t seal his fate, the passionate kiss you give him in return does.

The first night:

OH.  MY.  GODS.

While neither of you are virgins, your first night together makes you wonder what the hell it was that the two of you were doing with other partners in the past, because it certainly never felt like this

You didn’t know sex could feel this good: the two of you are so physically compatible, the chemistry is insane

We are talking hot, sweaty, wild sex

All inhibitions fly out the door and nothing is taboo.  There is no room for self-consciousness when you are making hot, passionate love with Masamune

Your nails leave crimson trails down the length of his back, while his fingers dig a bit too deeply into your hips as he’s thrusting passionately into you from behind.  You won’t notice the bruising on your skin until dressing in the light of the afternoon sun the following day, having needed to sleep in after an entire night of going at it

As things usually are with Masamune, your first time together will be unplanned: the mood is right, the stars align, and you fall into each other’s arms as naturally as the seasons cycle

Once again, it all begins with laughter.  And then, in the midst of shoulder-shaking heaves, you catch a glimpse of something in that cerulean eye, an instance where he’s completely serious, earnest…and irrevocably in love with you

He says your name.  Not “kitten” or “lass,” but your name.  Whispered like the word itself is sacred and powerful, and perhaps it is, because in that moment, held in the sway of whatever magic was conjured up by that spell, you fall on him, lips hungrily seeking Masamune’s, hands working feverishly to tear open the collar of that blue kimono, needing to feel the heat of his skin beneath your greedy fingers

Masamune is taken aback for all of 2 seconds.  You’ve never been this forward before, and he is used to playing the role of aggressor, especially when it comes to amorous activities.  But he finds that he quite likes the change and is open to becoming your prey for the evening

Sex with Masamune feels like some animalistic courtship ritual, cycling between periods of playfulness and passionate solemnity, with your naked bodies naturally finding themselves in a myriad of different positions where both of you will have the chance to experience what it’s like to dominate and be dominated

Some of the many positions/activities encountered on this first night together include: face-sitting, 69, doggy, cowgirl, missionary, lotus, reverse cowgirl… god, there are so many - some positions aren’t even named yet (now you know why it took all night)!

This man will leave no stone unturned when it comes to the pursuit of pleasure

Oral skills are top notch (the guy loves to cook, so of course he’s going to have some kind of oral fixation) and he enjoys giving as much as receiving

Your blow job is the best one he’s ever had, hands down.  The entire time, when he’s not moaning and groaning, Masamune is trying hard not to entertain fantasies of cutting down the lucky guy you got to practice on with his katana

Speaking of moaning and groaning, the man is loud and doesn’t care.  In fact, he would like nothing more than to turn up the volume so that everyone knows what a good time the both of you are having

You won’t mind swallowing: the man eats his fruits and vegetables and has healthy, home-cooked meals

Magic fingers.  Masamune has had ample experience mixing, kneading and shaping culinary delicacies by hand.  Finds that G-spot like its got a GPS tracker.  You never knew you were capable of squirting before

Dimensions: a beauty to behold, his cock is long and thick, curving slightly upwards to hit just the right spot when he’s plowing deeply into you from behind.  Nice.

Energizer bunny: Masamune can go all night…and he does the very first time he’s with you (you can bet he’s making up for lost time)

Loves to cum on you (and later on as your relationship progresses, in you).  The first night, he paints your stomach, breasts, inner thighs and ass cheeks during four separate rounds of love making

Best aftercare ever: Masamune will wipe you clean, bring you water and whip up something delicious in the kitchen to help you revive (hard core sex does tend to make one ravenous, after all).  Prepare to drift off to sleep with your head on his chest, the steady beating of his heart the sweetest lullaby

Thanks for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

[hamliet]

Hello hamliet-san! I recently wanted to start Bangou stray dogs but I didn't know which one is better: the manga or the anime!? You know, everytime I wanna start a new anime I'm afraid the adaptation might not follow the actual plot so which one do you prefer? (I used to be a TG fan and the anime totally betrayed me haha) Thanks in advance! ^^

Oooh! So it’s funny you say you were a TG fan, because I actually think BSD has some pretty similar existentialist themes to Tokyo Ghoul; suffice to say I think/hope you’ll enjoy it. It’s definitely my favorite ongoing (and not on hiatus) series. Also, BSD has fantastic female characters, even if more male ones. 

Honestly, I think they’re both excellent. I’m up-to-date with the manga and just finished season 2 of the anime (starting season 3 tonight; bless @linkspooky for watching it all with me). The manga has the advantage of being ahead of anime, but honestly the anime is of at least equal quality--plus it adds some things (the first four episodes of season 2 are a backstory that is canon but not in the manga + it adapts the light novels). The anime doesn’t really cut anything, and it’s paced well. The humor also comes across better in the anime than in the manga.

Both are gorgeous artistically. At first I thought the manga’s style wasn’t my favorite, but that changed when I started appreciating how intricately the artist uses blacks and whites and hard edges. And the anime is just stunning in its use of color, the animation is superb, the voice acting top notch, and the soundtrack (including the OPs and EDs) are beautiful. 

And the anime also has a film that, regardless of which medium you choose, you should watch, because it’s canon and the first anime franchise movie I’ve seen that fits perfectly in the canon series without disrupting anything yet still managing to add to it, gives the characters fantastic arcs, and is wonderfully made. It’s called Dead Apple. 

Like with HxH’s anime, I think it’s fine to watch the anime if you prefer it and read the manga once you’re on par. It really depends which medium you prefer; I prefer reading, hence why I read it first.

[fictionstuff]

Plot: Despite being bullied, scorned, and oppressed all of his life, a thirty-four-year-old shut-in still found the resolve to attempt something heroic—only for it to end in a tragic accident. But in a twist of fate, he awakens in another world as Rudeus Greyrat, starting life again as a baby born to two loving parents. Preserving his memories and knowledge from his previous life, Rudeus quickly adapts to his new environment. With the mind of a grown adult, he starts to display magical talent that exceeds all expectations, honing his skill with the help of a mage named Roxy Migurdia. Rudeus learns swordplay from his father, Paul, and meets Sylphiette, a girl his age who quickly becomes his closest friend. As Rudeus' second chance at life begins, he tries to make the most of his new opportunity while conquering his traumatic past. And perhaps, one day, he may find the one thing he could not find in his old world—love. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

Episodes: 11

Main Characters: Rudeus Eris Ruijerd Roxy Paul Sylphiette Ghislaine

Points: 7.5/10

Let me firstly say that I enjoyed it and you might question yourself if I am still sane now or probably a degenerate human who's pedo and into animes who “defend” such behaviour, but no, I don't think I am and I can distinguish between fiction and reality while saying what is right and wrong, but still enjoy a fantastic story set in a medieval fantasy world with a mediocre main character who hasn't done much to redeem himself yet but disgustingly show off that he's a 40 year old human from earth who enjoys his lolis and touching them or is just generally consuming his lolis like I am consuming my vegetables each lunch. Either way, there is as much love as there is hate for this anime and I understand both sides just fine.

Mushoku Tensei is a typical jrpg fantasy story about an otaku who was an extreme loser in his world (and no, saving a human isn't considered a redeeming act in itself that deserves my praise) and died to be reborn as a cute boy named Rudeus in a different world. The one thing we can probably all agree on is that the studio did an amazing job at animations, designs and the inclusion of music. This anime is top notch in his regard, probably even the best of the entire winter season. The love lies in the details, in very detailed backgrounds, in vivid beautiful areas in interesting and well done character designs and so much more. You can definitely easily realise that this is a high budget project from start to finish and I am glad that it will be a long run anime split into seasons. Which makes sense, because for now it was just the introduction of the show and meanwhile probably just a showcase of what an asshole and degenerate Rudeus actually is.

Meanwhile Mushoku also uses your usual isekai tropes, because the very first thing we actually get to see with Rudeus' eyes are two very jiggly melons that belong to his new mother while the baby wears the ugliest grin seen in human history. We may also just admit that the urge to demonstrate perversion at every other chance is the solemn downfall of the anime. Touching a young girl in between her legs while she's sleeping while trying to justify himself a bit later is strange to me and downright wrong as well as immoral and absolutely repulsive. I don't watch anime to be reminded of real life, so I just looked past that and tried not to focus my attention on this heavily obvious problem, but even that is hard when the anime tries to push it into your face while never even thoroughly punishing Rudeus. The way he goes without punishment (besides a kick in the guts) doesn't redeem the anime either, so I do understand when people drop it. It's entirely wrong, I do understand, but to judge the entire story and anime because of that seems wrong to me, too.

I do agree on the other hand that the show could have easily showed one of those scenes or dialogues and it would've been enough to display Rudeus' disgusting behaviour, but the ones that follow are highly unnecessary which dampen the overall enjoyment of the anime, but doesn't make the rest of it feel super bad either. I do think it is refreshing that Mushoku Tensei showcases actual lust and sex and masturbating, because it fits the medieval theme as well as... parts of real life. Most animes just stay away from that. Bonking your maid here almost seems normal and there are openly disgusting pieces of scum here which actually are quite popular among the female race. Yes, I do speak about Paul and there is more content which is morally questionable but that still didn't take away the joy from the nice plot progression, the slightly redeeming path Rudeus has chosen, the fantastic special effects and uses of magic as well as the interesting lore which very sadly isn't much within the focus of the anime.

Apart from that there is a huge support cast which doesn't receive much attention or development, while I do have to mention that they are interesting, but 11 episodes couldn't achieve any of that, so I truly hope to be able to judge real character development with the upcoming seasons. I shall review the next season and then make another statement, cause around 20 episodes should be able to reveal some sort of development. For now I can give this 7.5 points, say I enjoyed it quite a bit and also mention that the main character doesn't appeal much to me now while also mention that the character / story development needs an upgrade in the next season hopefully. Wonderful splendid art is after all no excuse for bad story writing or repulsive characters without redeeming qualities. If you're put off by ecchi or degenerate disgusting characters, then this probably isn't for you.

Animation/Character Design – 9.0

Characters/Story – 6.5

Enjoyment – 7.5

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2017 - Best TV Show

2017 was the year that Peak TV broke me. There was so many shows I wanted to watch (Star Trek: Discovery, American Gods, The Handmaid’s Tale and especially the new Twin Peaks) but they were spread too thin across various subscriptions (CBS All Access, Starz, Hulu, and Showtime respectively) for my even thinner wallet to handle. However, even without the shiniest new toys, I still found an overwhelming amount of quality TV to watch this year. Here are The Aarons for Best TV Show:

#10. You’re the Worst (Season 4) – FXX

The show’s fall from my number two entry last year to number ten this year may initially appear worrisome, but, while the scattered focus made it feel like a less comprehensive experience than prior years, You’re the Worst’s fourth season was perhaps the most important piece of the show’s overall story. Splitting up the four main characters into different storylines was a bold choice, but allowed the show to reveal just how much each one has personally grown since the show began. The gang may have been no less funny this year, but perhaps they can no longer be considered “the worst.”

#9. Rick and Morty (Season 3) – Adult Swim

While the Szechaun sauce fiasco may have shown just how poisonous some of its fanbase has gotten, that doesn’t discredit that Rick and Morty was once again in top form for its long delayed third season. In fact, in stark contrast to the fanaticism on display in its real-world fans, Season 3 was the show’s most emphatic rebuttal yet of Rick’s arrogant nihilism as something worthy of emulation, instead finding strong emotion in exploring Rick’s failures in his various familial relationships. As always, Rick and Morty’s clever genre takedowns, including a superb Mad Max-parody and a ridiculous superhero episode, make for one of the smartest and funniest shows on TV, but it’s this perceptive deconstruction of its own nature that really earned the third season a spot on this list.

#8. Riverdale (Season 1-2a) – The CW

When word of a dark-and-gritty reboot of Archie Comics was first released, I was ready to hate-watch this sure-to-be bastardization of a favorite brand in the same way I put myself through all those agonizing episodes of Scream: The TV Series. However, Riverdale’s dark noir-influenced spin on its beloved characters turned into this year’s most pleasant surprise, and one hell of an addictive TV show. While the second season may raise questions about the show’s long-term sustainability, its pitch-perfect cast of young stars and its gleefully twisted blend of camp and carnage for its previously wholesome material makes it the kind of show you’re glad is “ruining your childhood.”

#7. BoJack Horseman (Season 4) - Netflix

In consideration with You’re the Worst and Rick and Morty, “personal growth” must have been the theme of TV this year, as BoJack Horseman’s fourth season was imbued with unexpected hopefulness for a series known for its emotional gut-punches. That doesn’t mean this season didn’t contain the now-expected-but-no-less-devastating penultimate episode kicker, as a delve into BoJack’s past once again brought the tears flowing, but Season 4 was a welcome suggestion that these characters can get on a better path. It makes for another powerful season, but, you know, the show could have once again claimed a spot on this list for having Jessica Biel’s definitive best role ever and for its abundance of top-notch animal wordplay.

#6. Mr. Robot (Season 3) - USA

Each year, I feel less compelled to insist Mr. Robot is much more than the sophomoric anti-capitalist screed that it may have initially appeared to be, because, each year, the show’s clear-sighted intelligence becomes more and more unmistakable. Season 3’s dissection of its own revolutionary ambitions was its most culturally-relevant entry yet. While occasionally dispiriting in its despotic depictions, it was another show to find surprisingly emotional resonance this year, taking a Camusian approach to its Sisyphean conflicts. Season 3 may have toned down the experimental inclinations of last year’s ALF-cameoing season, but it was no less thrilling, thanks to its heightened struggle for control between Mr. Robot and Elliot, and particularly through its anxiety-inducing one-take middle installment.  

#5. Better Call Saul (Season 3) - AMC

While Season 3’s (re-)introduction of Giancarlo Esposito’s Gus Fring may have brought the world of Better Call Saul much closer to its parent show, Breaking Bad, the show has been at the former’s level of quality for years. Season 3 appears poised to be the show’s dark middle chapter, the major turning point in its heart-breaking presentation of Jimmy McGill’s inevitable tragic downfall. Knowing Jimmy’s eventual transformation into Saul Goodman, and dreading what fate may await the rest of the cast, may make Better Call Saul hard to watch from an emotional-investment standpoint, but the show is endlessly compelling thanks to its fantastic performances and its impeccable plotting.      

#4 Legion (Season 1) – FX

Fox has been taking some significant risks lately with the X-Men franchise, including the hard-R Deadpool and Logan, but their most ambitious production was actually on the small screen this year. Legion is the very definition of a mind trip, a psychedelic adventure that breaks all the rules of conventional narrative and visual storytelling. The show is perhaps best enjoyed as a quick binge, but the intrigue of its unreliable narrator, the awe-inspiring special effects, and its blood-curdling, existentially-terrifying villain means the show is guaranteed to linger in one’s brain for a long time. Legion’s creative-daring, an embrace of absurdity that gave us Jemaine Clement as an extra-dimensional scuba diver, is hopefully something that can endure Fox’s potential buyout from Disney.

#3 The Good Place (Season 2) – NBC

The Good Place is an oddity among the current dystopian state of network TV, not just for its high-end quality and bingeable format, but for its willingness to challenge its own status quo. Season 2, building off last season’s daring cliffhanger, brought this risk-taking to new heights, making each episode more unpredictable and exhilarating than the last. Ted Danson is clearly having a blast unveiling more layers of his afterlife-architect character, as are the writers working with the seemingly endless possibilities of the world they’ve created. One wonders how long this boldness can persist, but with a talented cast and a confident, experienced showrunner at the helm, The Good Place looks to be in a… well, you know.

#2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Season 2b-3a) – The CW

If “personal growth” is indeed the theme of 2017 in TV, then no show did it better than Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. The already-magical show became an absolute masterpiece this year, with a back-half of Season 2 that energetically reinvented the dynamic proclaimed by the show’s title, and a front-half of Season 3 that quickly subverted that new direction for something even more enjoyable and profound. Digging even deeper into the show’s realistic depiction of the hardship of suffering from mental illness made for several difficult episodes, but the talent both on-camera and off handled it with graceful ease that didn’t lose any of the show’s comedic brilliance. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend earns a top spot for its willingness to bravely push past oft-considered uncomfortable boundaries. In its representation of mental illness, certainly, but also in its network-standards-challenging and always hilarious songs.

AND THE BEST TV SHOW OF 2017 IS...

#1. Fargo (Season 3) – FX

It took until the very last minute of Fargo’s third season for me to realize that it was the best television show of the year. The show’s continued ability to collect an all-star cast (including Ewan McGregor playing both twins), the franchise’s trademark dark humor, and its layered, poetic writing kept me engaged through the season’s early episodes, but it was only in those closing moment that all the pieces fell into place, and Noah Hawley’s genius vision for this entry in the show was revealed. In those last few seconds, as Carrie Coon’s determined cop character faces down with David Thwelis’ boorish criminal mastermind, the show left us to wrestle with the defining question of a tumultuous 2017: do we believe that there is an objective truth, a right and a wrong, and that justice will be served? Or, is it all a farce, a game to be exploited, a universe that bends to the will of those who contort it to fit their desires? Taking advantage of the show’s anthology format, the season ends in ambiguity. It’s not a question for the show to answer. It’s a question that every one of us must wrestle with, whether just for the immediate future in a dangerous political climate of “alternative facts,” or for a long time coming. It is a question that defines one’s philosophical, social, and moral being, a question distinguished by a season of fascinating characters, thrilling adversity, and audacious storytelling. It’s this lingering question, contextualized by perhaps the best Fargo season yet, that makes the show the best TV of the year.

NEXT UP: THE 2017 AARONS FOR BEST TV EPISODE!

[furederiko]

This is the LAST post for December, meaning it's also the FINAL post for the year. Anything special to publish in the conclusive day of 2017? NOPE. Just this... uhmmm, random ramblings. Ahahaha...

My internet went down completely for around 2 weeks since December 13th. The unexpected 'incident' (I apparently has burned my modem *sigh*) made me switched into my creative side and did genuine FUN non-internet related things instead. And I got all caught up by it... that I practically did NOT prepare anything for Tumblr.

Had a Random-News-Digest prepared for mid-December, but ditched it completely because the content would be highly outdated now. Wanted to do my monthly recap-view for "Kamen Rider Build", but haven't finished it so it'll have to wait until next month. The only thing I could pull off was the recap-views for "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" last 2 episodes of the year. Though to be honest, that amazing show was part of my 'offline fun' as well. So yeah, unlike last year, there is no TOP 10 list this year. Didn't even publish anything for Christmas, because I completely FORGOT about it! LOL... (^^;)

Anyways, to make up for all of that, I've written a rough 'RECAP' of what went through my life this year. Entertainment-wise, of course, and not all but just some of the highlights. In list form! Why? Because I feel like it *grins*. Here goes nothing...

Movies, Oh movies...

- Watched even less movies on the theatre this year, and opted to wait several releases on home video. Only went to see the big guns, thus there isn't any disappointment. - Surprisingly, I loved the live action "Beauty and the Beast" more than the animated original. Dan Stevens' solo number "Evermore" is stuck in my head ever since. - Haven't seen "Coco", and really want to. Here's hoping the home video will be released soon. I guess I should see "Cars 3" first, huh? - "Dunkirk" was magnificent. War movie is usually not my forte, so I'm pleasantly surprised that Christopher Nolan managed to make me enjoy one. Was it the short duration, the all-out jerks of the army, or the non-stop intensity? Don't know. But if there's at least one thing I've gained from it: I disliked Harry Styles ever more now. No kidding. Poor French soldier... - I'm a visual guy so when I saw a disturbing scene, it usually stayed on my head for a good while. That bloody scene after the bomb explosion on "Stronger", for example? *sigh*. I hope Jake Gyllenhall receives an Oscar nomination for his work on this movie. - "Death Note" and "Ghost in the Shell"? Enjoyed the first one more, but both deserved better. - Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" was mediocre, but I'm among the minority who actually want to see more of Universal's Dark Universe. Even if just to see more of Russell Crowe going Jekyll. Charlie Hunnam's "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" was the movie's kindred spirit, while "Kong: Skull Island" was the opposite. Kong will be meeting Godzilla in the coming years! - Comic book adaptations were generally top notch. Naturally the three Marvel Studios' releases; "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", "Spider-Man: Homecoming", and "Thor: Ragnarok"; would be my top picks. Don't ask me to choose which one is the best though! All three were amazing and marvelous in their own unique ways, so I'd gladly rank them in the same spot just to be fair. - I admit, "Logan" and "Wonder Woman" were great too, but I didn't like them as much as everyone else on the planet. Not sure why, I guess... none of them was my cup of tea? Let's just say, there were problems on each of them that I couldn't quite tolerate and it reduced my overall impression on them. - Don't ask about "Justice League". I'll wait until I can borrow a copy when it's out on home video. Not wasting my money on a poorly reviewed DC Films. For now, "The LEGO Batman Movie" remains to be the best DC release of the year. - "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" was just NOT as good as the prequel. It was fun, but it felt like it's repetitive yet also missing something and trying too much.

Show Must Go On...

- Just realized that I've seen MORE TV series this year! Both the currently in broadcast, or titles from previouse years like "Westworld". Oh WOW... - Both Marvel's "Iron Fist" and Marvel's "The Defenders" were genuine duds. Both TV series were underwhelming and disappointing, that I have lost any urge to see Marvel's "The Punisher". - Haven't seen Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." 5th season as well, because I haven't been feeling it. Though that will change in the near future because I'm itching to see its 5th episode. Hey, my boy Fitz and Hunter are the star of that episode, right? THAT I just have to see! I wonder if seeing that episode would be enough to convince me to watch the previous four episodes... - Currently following Marvel's "Runaways", though this 1st season might be my first and last. Don't know why, but not feeling it either. I think CW's "Riverdale" was a more watchable show, and even that one have been dropped after Season 1. LOL. I guess teenage soap-opera is just NOT my thing. - The 5th and final season of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" was kind of... all over the place too. This show should've ended with Season 3, if you ask me. It had a bittersweet ending, akin to "Samurai Jack". But it also did not ended gracefully, and far less enjoyable to follow. - "Stranger Things" Season 2 was amazing. It had a somewhat different vibe compared to the 1st one, but equally enjoyable to watch. Poor characters whose name starts with 'B'... - I think the 3rd and 4th Seasons of "Voltron Legendary Defender" were initially meant to be one unit. The show's first two seasons were impressive, but these latter two were... okay? I don't know why, but it felt like it has waned a bit. - "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" was somewhat similar. I had great time with Season 1 and 2, but Season 3 was a bit... uneven. Many of the jokes didn't quite hit, and some of the story development started feeling like a recycled trick. Still, I would love to see a 4th Season, and hopefully with better improvements. - Was expecting "Big Hero 6: The Series" to be as amazing as the Oscar-winning movie... but alas that didn't seem to be the case. Didn't quite enjoy the 2-episodes premiere as much as I wanted to. A complete opposite to "DuckTales", that hit all the right notes. The sole complaint I have about this reboot/remake, is that Scrooge McDuck's adventure isn't airing new episodes on a weekly basis! Aaaaargggh, the long wait is making me angry. - If you haven't seen "Thunderbirds Are Go", then what are you waiting for? I feel the 2nd Season had more and more amazing moments, to the point that I hope Season 3 will come sooner than later. - Comedies are taking my leisure time now! Have been following Seth McFarlane's "The Orville". It was mediocre to good, and desperately in need of improvements (hopefully in Season 2). Yet I keep going back and see it. Is it the star power of its guest stars? - Adam Scott and Craig Robinson's "Ghosted" is on my top priority watch. Sure, the quality has reduced a bit since the pilot, but the supernatural agents aren't going anytime soon from my house. - The same with Kevin Finn! Great goodness, I have only started watching "Kevin Probably Saves the World" since early this month (the benefit of NOT getting preoccupied by the internet LOL), but I'm already regretting why I didn't start sooner. Now I honestly can't wait to see more! Kevin is such an adorkable, likeable, and surprisingly relatable quirky lead. The kind of guy I would totally love to be best friends with in real life. Really though, the show is infectuous with its acts of kindness, heartwarming with its pleasant vibes, and also surprisingly engaging through its personal conflicts. If you hear me giggling, laughing out loud, or sobbing lately, you can probably thank Kevin, his guardian Angel, family, and friends for that! Seriously...

A Spoonful of Anime and Toku

- Turns out, "Kekkai Sensen & Beyond" wasn't the sequel that I expected to be. It's... 'different' than the first season. But when you get to see what the other members of Libra (even the team's butler) are doing in their daily lives, should one even be complaining? In the end it was indeed as amazing and fun ride as the first season, even if lead protagonist Leonardo Watch took a back seat most of the season. I'm already crossing my fingers to see more adventure of the team. But it likely won't happen in the near future, huh? Bummer... - "Ballroom e Youkoso" was a peculiar dance. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half, but after Tatara changed partner things got... hectic and irritating to follow? It was still good, but a rather uneven show if you ask me for honest impression. At the very least, it wasn't a wasted opportunity like "Kabuki-bu!" was. - "Houseki no Kuni" was of similar situation. Its animation was gorgeous, story was peculiarly engaging, and world building was great. But there were episodes that were undeniably better than the rest, and I didn't quite like how it ended. I guess that finale was teasing for more seasons? Hmmm... - It's been years since I follow a Pretty Cure series, and "Kira Kira Precure A La Mode" wet my appetite and got me back to the game. Unfortunately, while the design was interesting, and the sweets angle was neat, the story was somewhat weak. I have lost my initial enthusiasm after the first half, but I still watch it because it's going to end pretty soon. Not quite expecting a mindblowing finale though, especially if the animation quality is any indication. A common problem of TOEI Animation. Remember "Sekaisuru KADO"? - Dang it, what an impressive year it has been with Super Sentai. "Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger" was kind of dull and boring last year, but had a great ending this year. And it was quickly followed by something even better. Yes, another show that has dragged me on a pleasant roller coaster ride is none other than TOEI's "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger". Since its premiere run on February, until its Christmas episode that wrapped up its 2017 run, I haven't been disappointed once with the series. Yes, I had an issue with the spin-off series of V-Cinema "Episode of Stinger", but that didn't count as the broadcast lineup. Though it's painful for me to soon say goodbye to this amazing season, I hope its last month will be memorable and a blast. Particularly because I'm currently having second thoughts about the 2018 season... - Just like its weekly storyline, "Kamen Rider Build" is still moving me back and forth. I'm honestly on the verge of dropping it completely, but I guess I'm going to check out several episodes from the next "Kamen Rider Wars" arc. I kind of feel it takes too long to get to this point when it could've been done earlier, but who am I to argue, right?

Name of the Game

- "Nintendo Switch" was a hit! Ever since its release on March 2017, the buzz and hype for this hybrid console only continue to increase. I wonder if I will be able to purchase one next year? Perhaps, just in time for the next Pokemon gen? - Speaking of Pokemon, the addition of Generation III from Hoenn region has made me go out and explore "Pokemon GO" again. The whole Raid Battle system and Niantic's handling of the Legendary Pokemon had disappointed so bad that I was close to give up on this App. Thankfully, now I have a horde of new reason to walk around the neighborhood. Problem is, can the same premise work in the long run? Niantic really need to consider new social features that enables players to engage with one another. - "Street Fighter V" had a weird set of DLC characters this year. The 2nd Season contained mostly new characters, that was a hit or miss with fans. Thankfully, things seem to be picking up next year with the Arcade Edition. Not just because my man Cody Travers is all dandy clean and returning to the game, of course. Question is, will I be able to play the game eventhough I don't have any plans to pick up a PS4? *giggles*. - I also haven't been able to play "Persona 5" due to the exact reason. LOL. Thankfully, "Persona 5 the Animation" has been announced to air next year. Sure, I'm a bit skeptical with the fact that A-1 Pictures and not Production I.G. will be doing the animation, but at least this will be my way of enjoying the game... WITHOUT actually playing it. - LEVEL-5 should do more of that worldwide Puzzle Quest! That was meant to be a prelude or some sort to "Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and The Millionaires' Conspiracy", but I think the game developer should learn by now that it could work as a stand alone project. It made people come together in surprising way, and attracted fans to come back everyday to check out the new worldwide puzzle. Real FUN!

Oookaaay, that went A LOT longer than I expected. And I'm 100% sure that there are items that completely slipped my mind. As of writing this line, it's only just a few hours before the year ends! Aaaaarggggh *grumble*. Gotta publish this one soon then!

With that said, 2017 has been a difficult and challenging year. Particularly to a very discriminative and straight-out evil political atmosphere. One that allowed people to show their true despicable nature and selfishly trampled others for it. Last year I did say that "There's so many reasons to be hopeful about 2017", but reality had spoken differently as it turned out there were plenty more to discourage us throughout the year. Many people have even lost their fate in humanity this year.

But you know what? I'm going to say the same thing this day as well. There are SOOO many reasons to be hopeful about 2018. I don't know if it's because I'm currently caught up in the holiday spirit, or because I've been feeling extra thankful and blessed this month. One thing I can openly attest, is that things DO GET BETTER. So don't ever lose hope, and keep fighting the good fight in the name of just and goodness. I'm being lazy right now, so I'm just going to copy and paste my own words from last year: "Life can sometimes be hard, but all we need to do is stay strong, stay high spirited, and more importantly, keep moving forward! Happiness and blessings will surely find its way, in ways you might not imagine!".

And also this next one... because I'm going to be saying more or less the same kind of statements anyway: "Thanks to those who have been reading my blog all year long. I know I haven't spent much time (or any) to address you one by one, and heck, I might not even know you're there. But please know that I'll always be grateful for your presence, your time, kindness, and more importantly patience to walk through my long and sometimes pointless ramblings. What you've been doing means a lot for me, and I hope what I've been posting has and will somehow benefit back to you in return.". 2017 ends in just a few hours away, so let's enter and stride through 2018 with a hopeful and brave heart, the biggest and earnest smiles, the most sincere love and compassion for others regardless of their religion, race, or skin color. More importantly, let's make 2018 a year that we can be proud of. Where we take a stand for what's right and good! Where we become better human being than we are this year!

SEE YOU TOMORROW IN 2018!!!

[erictmason]

Top 10 Disney Cartoon Shows

Turns out that last list didn't quite get all the Disney out of my system, so I'm at it again.  Only this time, it's about Disney's efforts on the small screen. It's actually kind of hard to overstate the significance of Disney's choice to get into the television animation game back in the 80's.  Before then, whatever else one could say about its merits, animation on TV meant one thing: cheap (well, OK, that and "short films imported from a radically different era", but let's not split hairs here).  That isn't to say quality animation could not be found on television pre-Disney, but rather that said quality (both in the visual and writing departments) was rarely if ever the priority.  But when Disney came along, with a mission statement of bringing with it the level of craft that had defined their theatrical films (though naturally they were never really aiming that high), that changed, and animation studios of all stripes suddenly had a reason to pour a lot more effort into their animated TV shows.  I don't think it's unfair to say we're still living in the world Disney helped create, in fact, whether it's the overt influence many of Disney's shows have had on the newest generation of animators or else by virtue of the space they helped to make where such shows can exist and thrive.  So, with the reboot of "Ducktales", the Disney TV animation studio's first breakout success, having recently launched, I thought it would be an appropriate time to look back at that vast, storied history of Disney TV cartoons and pick out my personal picks for the best of the bunch. As usual, there are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos if you will.   1.) It has to be a show made by a division of Disney Television Animation, not just airing on a Disney-owned channel.  That means no Lucasfilms, no Marvel, and no imports from, say, Canada or Japan. 2.) TV shows only, no shorts or compilation shows.  So much as I adore them, the current run of "Mickey Mouse" shorts will not be on here, sorry. 3.) It has to have aired in its entirety.  I feel like it's unfair to judge a TV show on a list like this without being able to see it as a whole, so as intriguing as, say, "Star VS. The Forces of Evil" is, it isn't eligible since it's still producing new episodes. With the rules established?  Let's make some magic!

10.) Aladdin: The Series (1994-1995): Here's a bit of irony for you: half the reason Disney ventured into television animation in the first place is that, at the time, the future of their theatrical animation division seemed in doubt.  Not long after, however, along came "The Little Mermaid" and the Disney Renaissance, and suddenly it was the television side looking to the theatrical side for source material.  Quite a few Renaissance pics got the TV show treatment as a result, but for my money the best of the bunch remains "Aladdin: The Series", mainly because it's the one that feels most of a piece with the original movie.  Part of that, of course, is that "Aladdin" was already a bit more suited to the adventure-a-week formula, since that's kind of where the roots of the original story already run.  But part of it is also that the ways in which the show expanded on the original's world were genuinely clever.  Pulling not only from Arabian mythology, but Greco-Roman, Aztec, Egyptian, and beyond, the show managed to deliver remarkably-solid adventure stories, few of which ever continued from the other but all of which worked surprisingly well together to create a world that felt remarkably alive and vibrant.  Sure, Aladdin himself remains a fairly uninteresting protagonist, Dan Castellanata can't hope to replace Robin Williams as The Genie, and Iago is a lot less fun when he's asked to be a constant lead presence rather than a humorous diversion.  But even so, "Aladdin: The Series" succeeded at taking the original's lead, running with it, and in the process delivering a show that felt exciting and interesting to watch week from week just to see what new corner of its world it would uncover.

9.) Phineas and Ferb (2007-2015): OK, confession time?  I actually don't like this show very much.  I hardly dislike it or anything, but I was never able to really get into it the same way I could other entries in the remarkably-specific sub-genre of "TV Cartoons Aimed At Kids Which Manage To Also Garner A Sizable Teen/Adult Audience" like, say, "Steven Universe" or another show that's probably on this list.  Nonetheless, I can't deny this thing is maybe the success story of modern-day Disney television animation, lasting longer by far than any other show on the list.  Nor am I unaware of what made it so popular: the strong, heavily-geometric character designs, the charming musical numbers, and the mad-cap, self-aware comedy.  It's that last piece I find most interesting, because I think it speaks most strongly to what helped "Phineas and Ferb" stand out from the pack: it's kind of like the kid-friendly version of "Family Guy", at least in the sense that it derives its humor less from the story or characters, who are deliberately archetypal, and more from its ability to use those archetypal characters as delivery machines for rapid-fire punchlines predicated on equal parts dry wit and pop-cultural reference.  In other words, it never becomes itself an "adult" series, indeed its whole perspective is an exaggerated version of childhood, but it does use an "adult"-oriented style of comedy most other kid's shows didn't really utilize back when it started.  That kind of unique creative choice can often do a lot of help a show stand out from the crowd, and, with four seasons, seven years, and over 200 episodes (to say nothing of TV specials and movies), I think it's safe to say that's exactly what this show did.

8.) Fillmore! (2002-2004): Man, why don't more people remember this show?  Following up on the renewed popularity of crime procedurals thanks to both the "Law and Order" and "CSI" franchises being at their peak, it takes the structure and tone of a 70's/80's-style crime drama and refits it into the world of Middle School.  Cops become Hallway Monitors, overzealous politicians become overbearing teachers, and Grand Theft Auto becomes bicycle theft.  It's that last part that proves the most amusing; since murder is pretty obviously not going to fly on a kid's show, the crimes they do come up with display a remarkable breadth of creativity.  Trying to chase down a graffiti vandal turns into a "Silence of the Lambs"-style criminal vs. criminal scenario, fandom obsession leads to dangerous sabotage, smuggling food into school is treated like something akin to drug-running, that sort of thing.  And best of all, while the show is entirely aware of its own absurdity, its sense of humor is 100% deadpan, and the result is that it really does play like a "straight" Cop Drama despite its setting.  It's a unique tone that is equal parts engaging and funny, and it creates this really interesting one-of-a-kind style that no other show has ever really tapped into, either before or since. Top it off with a great pair of lead characters-the titular Fillmore himself, a Good Guy With A Past played with a crisp cool to match the show's tone by Orlando Brown, and his reformed-ex-con partner Ingrid Third, another notch in veteran VA Tara Strong's belt, and you've got a great kid's show that's every bit as gripping as the shows it parodies, even as it also gets some solid laughs along the way too.

7.) TaleSpin (1990-1991): For the most part, it's easy to draw the lines that connect the Disney Afternoon's initial shows to the pre-existing Disney properties they're based on.  "Goof Troop" is really just those old-school Goofy shorts about domestic life updated to match with 90's-style family sitcoms, "Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers" plugs the titular duo into kid-friendly adventure romps, and so on and so forth.  But "TaleSpin" is just so weird in that respect: it may borrow three of its key characters from there, but it can't really be said to be based on Disney's 1967 version of "The Jungle Book".  Instead, those characters-or rather heavily modified versions of those characters re-conceived to fit in to the show's new setting-are placed into an entirely new world, which itself is something like a steampunk fantasy version of 1920's America, guided by the spirit of old-school Adventure Serials.  But the very oddity of its construction allows "TaleSpin" to feel at once familiar and new, able to ground itself by way of those "Jungle Book" characters you know and love (with the twists it puts on them being endearingly clever, like making Shere Khan a Lex Luthor-style corporate mogul) while also spring-boarding out into a wide variety of classic adventure stories.  Daring duels with pirates, high-stakes air races, and even the occasional flight of overtly-magical fancy...there's a lot of Tales to Spin here, and the show consistently does so with an admirably clear-eyed sense of its own genre and how to best play with it.  And again, it's all connected to a charming cast of characters.  "TaleSpin" is a tricky little thing to pin down, then, but for that very reason it's way too memorable to overlook or ever forget.

6.) The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1988-1991): "Winnie the Pooh" stories are a tricky thing to do right.  They'd been around for close to half-a-century even back when Disney first adapted the property into a trilogy of animated short films during the mid-to-late 60's, and that history, combined with the stories' enduring popularity, means we all have a fairly solid idea of what they "feel" like.  Moreover, by their very nature, the best "Pooh" stories are short, simple things with only the barest hint of narrative intent or moral center.  Which means trying to expand on them in any significant way runs the risk of stuffing them with more familiar story-telling tropes and styles that simply do not belong there.  So "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" deserves a lot of credit, if not for dodging that fact entirely (as was increasingly common in kid's TV shows of the time, it made sure to center a lot of its stories around "lessons" in a fashion much louder and more overt than the source material), then at least for managing to make a show that consistently felt like it captured and exemplified the right spirit even so.  A lot of that, it should be said, comes down to the voice actors; not only did Paul Winchell (Tigger) and John Fiedler (Piglet) return to reprise their iconic roles after having sat out the previous "Pooh" TV show, "Welcome to Pooh Corner", but this also marks the first "Pooh" project where the title character is voiced by Jim Cummings, who has played the role in every other "Pooh" production to come out of Disney in the nearly-three decades since.  Their performances aren't just consistently entertaining, they also lend a sense of spiritual continuity that benefits the show greatly.  More to the point, though, the animation has an intriguing physicality to it that recognizes the stuffed-animal nature of its core cast, as well as a delightfully-poppy color scheme.  The writing, meanwhile, uses a particular blend of sweetness and humor that feels at once akin to the original Disney short films, but also distinct and enjoyable unto itself.  Wordplay, slapstick, and gentle philosophizing, hallmarks of a good "Pooh" story since the very beginning, all show up in "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh", but the show always puts a just-so slightly-modern touch on each one.  To be sure, "New Adventures" plays in the same ballpark as more typical Saturday Morning cartoon fare, but it does so with the invaluable lessons of Pooh himself pretty clearly having been taken to heart in the process, and the resulting show is simply delightful.

5.) Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1985-1991): Technically speaking, the first Disney Television series is the short-lived plush-toy spin-off "The Wuzzles".  Meanwhile, the first real breakout hit for the studio was unquestionably 1987's "Ducktales".  But the one that first really established the studio, granting it the foothold from which it would build its future successes, is "The Adventures of the Gummi Bears".  On paper, it sounds very much like a "Smurfs" wanna-be, centered as it is on a tribe of small, magically-inclined creatures with matching names set in a vaguely-Medieval England fantasy world.  But in execution, it winds up weaving a remarkably-compelling tale with a surprisingly-dense internal mythology which it treats with an impressive degree of respect and earnestness.  That isn't to say it's some Super Serious Epic (we'll need to go a bit up the list for that show), but even as it keeps things primarily centered on kid-friendly slapstick and gentle goofing off (and does a fine version of it in both cases too), there is nonetheless an underlying spine of genuinely weighty world-building to it that adds just the right amount of extra heft to even the lighter aspects of the series.  The way our main characters, the Gummi Bears of the title, slowly but surely discover more and more aspects of their history and culture (much of it tangled up in an ugly war stemming from prejudice and distrust), all the while hoping for the day they'll be able to reunite with their own people, underlines almost every episode, pulling you in and often taking you by surprise.  As well, while all clearly archetypal (in the old Seven Dwarves tradition of being named for their defining traits, even), those characters are all delightful to spend time with, again thanks to a strong cast of voice-acting veterans like Paul Winchell, June Foray, and Bill Scott, and a dynamic that feels warm and lived-in.  Moreover, this is the show that Disney's TV animation really used to show off its skills, with some of the most fluid, engaging use of motion in any cartoon of the era; some episode are naturally stronger than others, but the best of them are genuinely gorgeous stuff.  It is, in other words, a show with an intriguing story that feels very much like the best sort of Bed-Time Story, inviting and friendly on one level but with a deeper center just beneath the surface to pull you in and keep you coming back, and realized with a strong, compelling craft.  So it's really no wonder that these "Gummi Bears" were, in their way, the ones to start the long-lived legacy of Disney's TV cartoons.

4.) Recess (1997-2003): There came an interesting point of transition for Disney's TV animation studios toward the end of the 90's.  The Disney Afternoon block, long the most visible home for their shows, was finally shutting down after a solid seven-year run, and a new once-a-week block, fittingly named "1 Saturday Morning", was rising up to take its place.  The block managed to last a decent five years, but very few of its shows managed to make much of an impact.  But among the ones that did, the clear front-runner, to my mind at least, is "Recess", a love letter aimed not only at the nostalgia of the playground but also to the iconic TV comedy "Hogan's Heroes" (compare the theme songs to both shows, and then look at the mix of archetypes that comprises the core cast for each one).  That mixture allows the show to present a vision of childhood that is simultaneously deliberately hyperbolic-the age-old notion of schoolyard hierarchies is here portrayed as a rich, thriving society unto itself, complete with its own king and economy-while still grounded in relatable ideas and characters, especially as regards the oftentimes contentious relationship between the students and teachers.  That latter aspect especially speaks to why "Recess" is probably my pick for the best overall show of the "1 Saturday Morning" era, too; yes, as is typical of a show aimed at kids, it plays to their own feelings by painting the teachers as alternatively cruel and inept for the most part (while quite a few episodes focus on the difficulties the kids have with their parents, too), but it never forgets their own humanity in the process, and some of the show's best moments stem from that fact.  Still, at the end of the day, it does really come down to that "Hogan's Heroes" influence I mentioned.  No real kid has ever assembled the complex schemes and adventures that are "Recess"' primary source of stories, but I promise you every last kid has dreamed of it, and by placing those scenarios in the world it does, where the audience can at once recognize how much this is an exaggeration but still grasp what reality it draws from, it makes this really intriguing atmosphere that sparkles at once with a kid's sense of wonder and an adult's sense of humor (a lot of the best jokes stem from sharp wit that connects a young adult's perspective to adult concepts like a full-time job or balancing responsibilities).  It's a style quite a few shows, cartoon or otherwise, have tried out over the years, but "Recess" is one of the very best examples of the form.

3a.) Gravity Falls (2012-2016): If you were paying close enough attention, you may have noticed something about the opening credits of animated television shows around the beginning of the '00's: series creators were being prominently credited.  It was indicative of a larger amount of trust and control being placed in distinct creative voices as the industry slowly eased out (or tried to, anyway) of the merchandise-driven business model that had defined it for most of the 80's and 90's, and across the board it led to some very distinct visions making their way onto screens.  For Disney, the example du jour is Alex Hirsch's "Gravity Falls", a show whose existence is all the more surprising when you consider just how very Not Disney its premise-kid-oriented "Twin Peaks" riff by way of "The X-Files"-really sounds.  And yet here we are, with a show that is at once a razor-sharp comedy, a poignant examination of what it means to grow up and what we do and do not have to leave behind in the process, and a veritable parade of some of the most off-the-wall horror-sci-if-fantasy mash-ups of all time.  And the thing of it is, the glue holding all of that together and keeping it coherent, allowing the show to build effortlessly both towards fantastic punchlines and deeply emotional culminations, stems from Hirsch: in interviews, he talked about how much of the show's premise stemmed from reflecting on the tourist-trap vacations he himself took as a child, and indeed, a lot of the series' best moments (an early episode centered on a haunted convenience store springs to mind in particular for me) succeed by tapping into that particular vein of childhood, where the simple change in environment that comes with vacation lends even the most mundane things an air of mystery.  By the same token, so too do the characters feel keenly drawn from reality (even as they do still possess a cartoon's foibles and exaggerations); Dipper and Mabel are two of the most believable pre-teens I've ever seen on TV, both in their own way smart enough to no longer be children but struggling with the greater maturity necessary to really become grown-up, Grunkle Stan feels like every huckster you've ever seen on TV right down to the niggling sense that there is a tremendous amount more to him than what we see, and the change in perspective the show gives us on Wendy, initially kept at arm's length because of Dipper's crush on her only to emerge more fully as a person once he recognizes her own feelings on the matter.  And then on top of all that, it's connected to a genuinely-compelling mystery that the show gradually teases out more and more, and those who are paying attention really do have an honest shot of piecing the puzzle together before the characters do, adding a new layer of visceral excitement to the experience.  But the real strength of the show is that those twists and turns, as much as they might pull us deeper into the puzzle box, are really more about exploring and growing the characters first and foremost.  That's the key to "Gravity Falls" above all, to my mind: yes, its internal mythology is uniquely well built, and yes, pushing the envelope on how genuinely scary/dangerous it's allowed to get is fascinating, but it never loses sight of how much its characters are the real heart of the story, and how much that fact helps this weird, wild mixture really come together.  

3b.) Darkwing Duck (1991-1992): Yes, the #3 slot is a draw, because when it came right down to it I simply could not pick between the two shows I was considering for it.  Leaving "Gravity Falls" off felt simply unacceptable to be, but neither could I find it in my heart to axe this, maybe my personal favorite of the entire Disney Afternoon era, from the list.  Because the thing of it is, when you really think about it, "Darkwing Duck" shouldn't work at all.  Superhero parodies were old hat even by the early 90's (indeed, at that point they probably outnumbered actual superhero shows), while spin-offs had long ago developed a reputation for being cheap-and-easy cash-ins (though the extent to which "Darkwing Duck" is, in fact, a spin-off of "Ducktales" is a touch debatable, I suppose, even as they share a handful of characters).  But despite the odds against it, "Darkwing Duck" does indeed prove to be a consistently entertaining piece of work, and a lot of why boils down to the remarkably-multilayered construction of its title character.  That isn't to say Darkwing is the only good thing about his own show; his rogue's gallery is an amusing assortment of pastiches of classic Villain archetypes-the plant-master, the crazy clown, the evil double, and so on-while the supporting cast, including "Ducktales" veteran Launchpad McQuack and excitable youngster Gosalyn Mallard (a character who, by rights, should be insufferable, but is instead genuinely endearing thanks in no small part to her voice actor, the late, great Christine Cavanaugh), is equally enjoyable.  As well, the show's sense of humor has an ahead-of-its-time sardonic edge to it that was nowhere near as commonplace in kid's cartoons by that point, but which here provides just the right level of sharpness to the comedy.  And the animation is fascinating, too, with a far more "Looney Tunes"-style sensibility to a lot of its best moments (which in turn informs the characters a lot; there's more than a touch of Daffy to Darkwing, but we'll get to that in a minute), while also showing just how far the iconic Disney "duck" design could be stretched while still being recognizable.  But it really is Darkwing himself who makes the show, because despite the core conceit being fairly simple-poking fun at the inherent egomania of the superhero by portraying one as a glory hound interested more in publicity than actual heroism-there actually prove to be quite a few layers to him when you really get into it.  For one thing, he's actually quite good at his job; for as many times as his inadequacy is the butt of the joke, "let's get dangerous" is more than just a catchphrase; it's a sign he's about to show you what he's really capable of.  For another, his sincere affection for and protectiveness of Gosalyn shows there really is a heart underneath all that bluster, and that if he could just get out of his own way, Darkwing might well be capable of true greatness.  But all too often he is, in fact, his own worst enemy (there's that Daffy Duck influence again).  It's all played mostly for laughs, sure, but, especially thanks to Darkwing's VA Jim Cummings, who navigates each of those layers coherently and effectively, it comes through clearly even so.  And it elevates the entire show to this unique, interesting place that has helped it stand the test of time. 

2.) Gargoyles (1994-1997): As established during our introduction, the entry of Disney into the world of television animation in the mid-80's was a real paradigm shift in the industry.  But a few years later, in 1992, came another, arguably even more profound game-changer: "Batman: The Animated Series".  Every last element of that show-its writing, its visual style, and especially its revolutionary craft-proved profoundly popular, not only with viewers but people inside the industry.  Soon enough, almost every TV animation studio around mounted a response: for Marvel Television, it was the "X-Men" cartoon, for Hanna Barbera it was "SWAT Kats".  But far and away the best answer came from Disney, in the form of Greg Weisman's fantasy epic, "Gargoyles".  From stem to stern, this is maybe one of the richest, most satisfying stories Disney TV ever crafted, and in stark contrast to just about every other show on this list, that doesn't come with a "but it's not as serious as all that" caveat.  There's comic relief, to be sure, but still, this is nonetheless an entirely-earnest Modern Fantasy Epic, comprised of equal parts deep-cut cultural/mythological references-everything from Shakespeare to Arthurian Lore to the tales of Anansi the Spider, all realized with a remarkable degree of understanding and specificity-and exceptionally well-structured characters.  Stoic Goliath, striving at once to protect what little remains of his kind while also seeking to do good in a world he struggles to understand; Elisa Maza, a sharp-minded detective who is always determined to stay on top of the situation no matter how crazy it becomes; Demona, a tragic figure consumed with anger and grief who seeks greater and greater means of destruction; Xanatos, one of the greatest masterminds of all time, always one step ahead, always a new scheme at the ready.  "Gargoyles", in other words, weaves an impressively intricate tale that inhabits a sprawling, detailed world with rich, compelling players, by way of some of the most impressively-intricate long-term story arcs I've ever seen in a cartoon show.  Whether it's the gradual transformation of Xanatos from inscrutable antagonist to complex Family Man (even as the extent to which he can ever really be trusted remains in question) or the slow-burn, exceptionally rewarding progression of Goliath and Elisa's relationship, or even things like the young, impetuous Brooklyn slowly growing up into a possible leader, "Gargoyles" hones in with perfect precision on how best to expand these characters over time.  Likewise, watching as the scope of the world, and our own understanding of it, expands to include concepts like aliens and mutants amongst its gods and monsters is impressive and fascinating.  And the series paces itself equally perfectly.  There is a genuinely organic quality to "Gargoyles"' arcs, both character and plot; it never feels static or overly obsessed with the Status Quo, but it also does not rush through anything.  Each plot twist, each character epiphany, feels earned, and all the more powerful as a result.  And, cherry on top, the animation is top-tier stuff; it is perhaps not as overtly stylized as "Batman: The Animated Series" (though its focus on night-time settings and a darker color palette feels evocative of that show), but the combination of a Disney-esque sense of character design with the show's strong narrative backbone leads to exceptional results even so.  "Gargoyles" may have been made in "Batman"'s image, but it wound up being a one-of-a-kind classic in its own right. 

1.) Ducktales (1987-1990): There are a number of reasons "Ducktales" more or less has to top this list.  Its pedigree, for one thing; drawing a lot of its premise (and directly adapting several of its best episodes and story lines) from the famed Carl Barks "Uncle Scrooge" comics (though notoriously, Barks' most famous successor, Don Rosa, has a less-than-sunny attitude toward the show) provides the show an exceptionally well-built and endearing structure.  Whether it's outer-space epics or intercontinental treasure hunts, espionage action or magical mayhem, there's no breed of adventure "Ducktales" cannot comfortably tap into.  Another thing to consider is its place in history; almost every other show on this list owes its existence to one degree or another to this show, which proved to be exactly the sort of powerhouse success story the Disney TV studio needed in order to prove its chops, and that means "Ducktales" holds a special place in animation history too, given how much Disney TV has played a part in it as a whole.  And naturally, there's the animation to consider too; it may seem a touch standard-issue today, but compare "Ducktales" to just about any other contemporary cartoon of its era, and you'll realize just how much care goes into keeping characters on model and letting them movie not just fluidly, but also in a way that's enjoyable to watch.  And last but hardly least, there's the stellar cast of characters (and voice actors); Huey, Dewey, and Louie may all be interchangeable, but their dynamic is lively and enjoyable anyway.  Webby, meanwhile, is a fantastic foil, not only for them, but for Uncle Scrooge.  And naturally, Scrooge himself (given an iconic performance by the late, great Alan Young) is just fantastic, a multi-layered, larger-than-life character who is nonetheless so much fun to simply spend time with you never want to stop.  But the thing of it is, "Ducktales"' real claim to #1 is a bit harder to quantify than all that, because even as it excels on just about every level, it doesn't have, say, the same depth of theme and character as "Gravity Falls", or "Gargoyles"' tapestry of plot lines and character arcs.  Its animation is certainly high quality, especially for the time, but it's not that much better than "Adventures of the Gummi Bears".  And yet, even so, "Ducktales" is the one everyone remembers, and I feel like that comes down to it adding up to something more than just the sum of its parts.  There really is this unique, ineffable energy to "Ducktales" that is equal parts charming, endearing, exciting, and thrilling, and it enhances each and every one of the things the show already does so well to a special level all its own.  Some of that can be chalked up to nostalgia, sure, but a lot of it, I think, can also be ascribed to the sheer sense of discovery innate to the show.  Not simply in the various people and places our heroes encounter (though there's that too, naturally), but in the fact that this new effort on Disney's part was hitting its stride, and in so doing opening up a whole new world of possibilities, for the show itself and for the future.  Which is maybe being a touch too grandiose about it, but even so, "Ducktales" has endured enough to make me think there may be something to it.  And hey, if literally nothing else, it really does have one humdinger of a theme song.  

[stevecanmakeanythingnerdy]

The Vinyl Four Battle #1

1 ) The Stipjes: Out To Lunch (Side 1)

Vs.

6 ) The Twins : Passion Factory ( Side B )

All right, let’s get right down to brass tacks. These are the 4 biggest calorie burners of season six, so let’s cue up the stylus and go!

1 ) The Stipjes: Out To Lunch (Side 1)

So I’m not really sure what else I can state about these guys that I haven’t already. Rip off records, so you know it’s extra sloppy (intentionally). They’re foreign (to this country anyway) so there is some slight accent, but I promise you, you will not care. It’s just the fun, drunk, buzz pop, lo-if garage you’re expecting from this label. Recorded in the middle of the 90s garage rock fever (June ‘96) and right on target for the demographics. Lo-fi = hi-times! Piss poor quality, “F*#@ you’s”, drunken yells, and your going to love every minute. The Stipjes awkwardly fit too many words into a sentence like no one’s business. Hits like “Better Things To Do”- with it’s buzzy fuzz punk. It’s over before you know it. “Baby, I’m a Rockstar now” will act as a retainer for your lame brain 3 chord chain. Relentless, shredding beats. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Sexmuziek” is definitely a different vocalist and not for the better, IMO. There are still SOME rules for this genre dang it! “Beaversong” is about...hmmm, well...gee what on earth could he be singing about?! I’m certain it’s just about little woodland animals that build dams. Yup. Actually there is a bizarre marriage proposal present. For real. “Problem” ends the album (after just 11 minutes!!!). These dudes are definitely 20 something when recording. At least I hope this isn’t an album a 40 year old would make! This tune is the faster one and more pop and IMO the best cut. This is about as basic as punk rock gets, and what I imagine most uninitiated think of when they hear the words punk rock.

6 ) The Twins : Passion Factory ( Side B )

It just dawned on me that Germany’s The Twins are also foreign and that makes this an INTERNATIONALRANDOMRECORDWORKOUT! Seeded in sixth position they have some “Stipjes” competition ahead, but the synth pop duo creates some smooth and catchy tunes, so I feel their German craftsmanship is up for the challenges. They waste no time and start straight off with their Gary Numan-esque “The Desert Place”. Their thickly accent is both distracting and attractive all at once. The melody employed is fantastic! Harmonies too for being only two (#seewhatididthere). “Nights, Lights, and Shadows “ is another tuneful twist. The one note accent drives the fear, the rest drives the infatuation. Playful but wicked. In fact, there is a dark edge throughout. “Younger Days” is the third cut. Tempo is slowed and Men Without Hats vein takes over. Missing Persons come to mind, and and some well timed pauses and hooks are employed. I guess that’s what I enjoy about this group. They at least show some diversity. “Wet Season” is more or less an instrumental track that bridges the gap between the last song and the next. It has a dark wave feel, but leads perfectly into what I might consider the BEST track on the whole album, “Synthetic World”. Let’s just say that the great keyboard sound of the 80’s was not lost on these two. Worthy of note is the stellar production too. Top notch. I think with a little better promotion these guys would have been huge in the states! You know a song is good when it’s stuck in your head after only one listen. The Twins are more than just a baseball team in Minnesota, they may well be the best new wave act you didn’t know about! These guys are German and they know it! They get right down to the Kraftwerk (#seewhatididthere) and SPROCKET!! (#seewhatididthere). Good luck finding any releases though, small label and considered an import. Dohrow and Schweitzer: two dudes, 2 geniuses. So good, you’ll think it was genetically engineered (#seewhatididthere). Synthy-staccato and supremely satisfying!

So today it was number one seeded The Stipjes Who were out to lunch. They ripped through 5 songs in 11 minutes and burned 67.2 calories in the process. That is 13.4 calories burned per song and 6.09 calories burned per minute. The Stipjes earned 11 out of 15 possible stars. The Twins took their passion and manufactured it in a factory setting. They took 18 minutes to run through 5 songs and burned 123 calories doing so. 24.6 calories were burned per song and 6.83 calories burned per minute. That earned them 11 out of 15 possible stars. It looks like our international battle ends with Germany’s The Twins on top!

The Twins: “Synthetic World”

https://youtu.be/RUyMPboyaCU

#Randomrecordworkoutseasonsix

#Randomrecordworkout

#randomrecordworkoutmadness

[tipsoctopus]

New roles for Ake & Zaha: This combined Bournemouth and Crystal Palace XI would soar into 7th

The likes of Wolves, Everton and Leicester have done their utmost to bridge the gap between the top six and the rest of the league this season but the fact remains that there is still a huge gulf in terms of funding which, unfortunately, is what football is determined by these days.

For many teams placed seventh and below, a successful season constitutes survival, with anything else deemed a big achievement – Palace and Bournemouth, despite the outstanding quality they have on paper, are two of these teams.

The southern pair’s respective groups of fans surely feel that they could be doing better than their current mid-table finishes, so they will be expecting a big summer in terms of transfers to push the team that extra way.

But what if the two teams combined? With the likes of Ryan Fraser at Bournemouth and Wilfried Zaha at Palace, it’s a frightening prospect.

With Callum Wilson leading the line and the aforementioned Fraser and Zaha on the wings, this is a front three to strike fear into the hearts of any opponent.

Both Eddie Howe and Roy Hodgson’s sides thrive on the counter, with the Eagles and the Cherries scoring for fun on the break this season, but by merging the attacks you have a different animal.

Wilson and Fraser are one of the league’s best partnerships this season, while David Brooks has chalked up seven goals and five assists for Bournemouth since signing from Sheffield United last summer.

Capable of playing all across the midfield or behind the striker, the 21-year-old is best suited in a central role, where he can pull the strings and feed Palace’s Zaha in behind, for instance.

The influential winger may have played his last game in red and blue by the time Bournemouth leave Selhurst Park this weekend, having had a fantastic campaign, notching a personal-best 10 times and assisting eight.

He typically operates on the left side of the attack but he would be forced to move to the right wing to accommodate Fraser.

The 26-year-old offers plenty of speed out wide and has a box of tricks to rival that of Ronaldinho – he’s a full-back’s nightmare and arguably this combined XI’s standout player.

A defensive midfield pairing of Luka Milivojevic and Jefferson Lerma form a hardened wall of Serbian and Colombian steel in front of a back four that’s surely the best outside the top six.

Be sure to check out the incredible story of the man who rose from a Tanzanian refugee camp to become one of Australia’s biggest football stars in the video below…

With Patrick van Aanholt and Diego Rico enduring respective struggles this campaign, Nathan Ake shifts out to left-back, where he impressed in the 5-0 thrashing of Brighton last month, while the Eagles’ pairing of Mamadou Sakho and James Tomkins is difficult to split up.

Aaron Wan-Bissaka needs no introduction. The 21-year-old was named both players’ and fans’ player of the season recently and has established himself as one of the best young defenders in the Premier League.

This combined defence would be a real hassle to get through.

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