#former delivery person
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my obsession with roblox particularly with work at a pizza place is back anyway add me im oriict *ugh sound*
#why does it come back every 4 months#former delivery person#future manager#gotta love the roblox corporate world#add me on roblox#yes i am an adult
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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I used to work at a pizza place, and this looks eerily similar to what I walked in on the first time I worked a Superbowl Sunday.
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"Uber Eats customer service," beeps the Uber Eats customer service person.
"A bobcat just killed and ate the delivery dude," I express sorrowfully into the receiver. "I'm gonna need a refund."
You might criticize me for being cold to my fellow worker. This is fair, but I am also conditioned by a lifetime of marinating in capitalist ideology to extract maximum value from the $50 gift card I just found in the parking lot. And the Arby's dinner I bought with it is currently residing inside the stomach of Lynx rufus, or maybe just a really big stray tabby.
Either way, there is nothing that I can do for the former person that my phone tells me was named Emil. Even if I were to kill and eat the aggressive bobcat myself in a misguided attempt to avenge him, it would merely serve as a sort of tragedy turducken, and possibly even be illegal. While ruminating on just how long I have to wait for the bobcat to digest Emil's remains before it's no longer cannibalism-via-proxy, I notice that the line has been silent for quite awhile. As I have been trained by many similar systems, I immediately yell a compound profanity, triggering an elevation to the next level of call centre operator. No doubt the recording of this call is already in their private collection of "all-time bests," right next to the tape of the Uber guy who's afraid of clowns valiantly trying to deliver to a circus.
After a few seconds, a new operator switches onto the line. "Sir, we're going to refund your entire order, and rate Emil five-stars. His family will receive the customary Uber Eats death benefits, and he will be buried in our veteran's cemetery with full corporate honours. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"Yeah," I drawl, already becoming tired of asserting my rights as a consumer. "Do you know if Arby's still makes those deli sandwiches?"
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Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #19
May 17-24 2024
President Biden wiped out the student loan debt of 160,000 more Americans. This debt cancellation of 7.7 billion dollars brings the total student loan debt relieved by the Biden Administration to $167 billion. The Administration has canceled student loan debt for 4.75 million Americans so far. The 160,000 borrowers forgiven this week owned an average of $35,000 each and are now debt free. The Administration announced plans last month to bring debt forgiveness to 30 million Americans with student loans coming this fall.
The Department of Justice announced it is suing Ticketmaster for being a monopoly. DoJ is suing Ticketmaster and its parent company Live Nation for monopolistic practices. Ticketmaster controls 70% of the live show ticket market leading to skyrocketing prices, hidden fees and last minute cancellation. The Justice Department is seeking to break up Live Nation and help bring competition back into the market. This is one of a number of monopoly law suits brought by the Biden administration against Apple in March and Amazon in September 2023.
The EPA announced $225 million in new funding to improve drinking and wastewater for tribal communities. The money will go to tribes in the mainland US as well as Alaska Native Villages. It'll help with testing for forever chemicals, and replacing of lead pipes as well as sustainability projects.
The EPA announced $300 million in grants to clean up former industrial sites. Known as "Brownfield" sites these former industrial sites are to be cleaned and redeveloped into community assets. The money will fund 200 projects across 178 communities. One such project will transform a former oil station in Philadelphia’s Kingsessing neighborhood, currently polluted with lead and other toxins into a waterfront bike trail.
The Department of Agriculture announced a historic expansion of its program to feed low income kids over the summer holidays. Since the 1960s the SUN Meals have served in person meals at schools and community centers during the summer holidays to low income children. This Year the Biden administration is rolling out SUN Bucks, a $120 per child grocery benefit. This benefit has been rejected by many Republican governors but in the states that will take part 21 million kids will benefit. Last year the Biden administration introduced SUN Meals To-Go, offering pick-up and delivery options expanding SUN's reach into rural communities. These expansions are part of the Biden administration's plan to end hunger and reduce diet-related disease by 2030.
Vice-President Harris builds on her work in Africa to announce a plan to give 80% of Africa internet access by 2030, up from just 40% today. This push builds off efforts Harris has spearheaded since her trip to Africa in 2023, including $7 billion in climate adaptation, resilience, and mitigation, and $1 billion to empower women. The public-private partnership between the African Development Bank Group and Mastercard plans to bring internet access to 3 million farmers in Kenya, Tanzania, and Nigeria, before expanding to Uganda, Ethiopia, and Ghana, and then the rest of the continent, bring internet to 100 million people and businesses over the next 10 years. This is together with the work of Partnership for Digital Access in Africa which is hoping to bring internet access to 80% of Africans by 2030, up from 40% now, and just 30% of women on the continent. The Vice-President also announced $1 billion for the Women in the Digital Economy Fund to assure women in Africa have meaningful access to the internet and its economic opportunities.
The Senate approved Seth Aframe to be a Judge on the US Court of Appeals for the First Circuit, it also approved Krissa Lanham, and Angela Martinez to district Judgeships in Arizona, as well as Dena Coggins to a district court seat in California. Bring the total number of judges appointed by President Biden to 201. Biden's Judges have been historically diverse. 64% of them are women and 62% of them are people of color. President Biden has appointed more black women to federal judgeships, more Hispanic judges and more Asian American judges and more LGBT judges than any other President, including Obama's full 8 years in office. President Biden has also focused on backgrounds appointing a record breaking number of former public defenders to judgeships, as well as labor and civil rights lawyers.
#Thanks Biden#Joe Biden#kamala harris#student loans#student loan forgiveness#ticketmaster#Africa#free lunch#hunger#poverty#internet#judges#politics#us politics#american politics
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A lapdog at a farm - chapter 2
<-former chapter ~ AO3 link ~ next chapter-> I will block any ageless blogs. Call of duty. Explicit, 18+, minors do not interact. read the tags. wc: 6181.
Farmer!John Price x Hybrid!Reader, hybrid! Kyle Gaz Garrick x hybrid! Johnny Soap MacTavish x hybrid! Simon Ghost, John Price x Nikolai.
tags: Rape/non-con elements, dub-con, dog!hybrid!people being kept as pets, alternative universe - farm, dark, farmer!John Price, working-dogs, punishments, mating cycles/rut/heat (no omegaverse), the dove isn't dead but its dying, reader is a brat, knotting, animal tails and ears, mentions of trauma, violence, angst, hurt/comfort, collars, rough sex, breeding kink, biting, threesome, foursome, everyone is fucking your honor, enemies to lovers, chubby reader, reader has a pussy
Author's note: reminder that reader is kinda a bitch at some points, thinking mean, unjustified things about our 141 once in a while. Unreliable narrators, my sinner. Apologies for any grammatical errors , the bad russian and such. So uh, this got waaay longer than intended so here you go. It will be a couple of days before the next chapter, so enjoy this snack for u all, my sinners.
chapter 2: Delivery from the Hybrid's Den!
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“I have a friend coming over for a while,” John softly said next morning, hand resting on your head, fingers stroking your long ears now and again,, “to help us with getting the boys settled.”
You were on the floor, half way beneath the kitchen table, snuggled up against Price’s leg, feeling much more needy, knowing the ‘boys’ as your owner called them, would be delivered later today or tomorrow. They needed to be chipped and Price had asked for a full health check from his vet, as well as vaccinations and dental care. John was a caring owner; the mere fact that he did this from the get go was proof of that. He had done the same when getting you, made sure that any recent wounds or scarring were taken care of - getting your teeth fixed and your nails checked.
You didn’t have much of your fangs left when he got you; your earlier owners had taken those, the memories still haunting you once in a while. They had done it without anesthesia, not even by professionals. Same with your claws, that wasn’t beneath your nails anymore, thanks to former owners as well. Price had gotten the wounds cleaned and fixed up; they had almost grown closed by now. For most of the time that you lived with John, he had made sure your nails were always done nicely, however you wanted them.
John was a good master. You loved him, more than you knew you should, desperate for his attention, acknowledgment and praise. You didn’t want to share him, not with these hounds he had decided to get…
… not with this apparent friend.
You didn’t answer with anything but a displeased sound, tightening your grip on Price’s pants; when he offered you another piece of sausage you were quick to eat it, licking at his fingers while he chuckled. For a moment your tail wagged, eating the food and pressing against his hand.
He couldn’t be serious - abruptly changing so many things? and you were just supposed to accept it? Finally, you replied.
“Do I know your friend?” You didn’t bother to seem excited in any way, your skepticism seeping into your voice like poison. Price took another sip of his tea, not commenting on it.
“You’ve met him before but it’s been years. First year I had you, I reckon. Remember Nikolai?”
Nikolai. Nikolai. Different faces flashed for your eyes, trying to pinpoint who you had met that bore that name.
“No,” you finally admitted.
“Can’t blame you, lass. You were a little mess when you met him.”
You let out a huff at his words, embarrassment making your toes curl. It was true, your mind was muddled when it came to the first half year or so together with Price. You had been wary of every single person, desperately acting out and having to wear a muzzle, slowly getting used to the gentleness and rules of John. How he was fair and didn’t change his rules, didn’t punish you without reason.
You heard the front door open, ears peeking up a little, a small bark leaving you on instinct.
“‘Morning,” Laswell called out, making you settle again with a huff. While Laswell was strict and sometimes a meanie, she wasn’t a threat. Only to you and John’s private time.
“Good morning,” John called out, “I’ve made coffee.”
“Ugh if I wasn’t a lesbian I would marry you,” Kate groaned happily, by now so comfortable with John that she simply moved to take a cup in the cupboard, helping herself to the coffee and some food. They had known each other when younger, that was all you knew. Their stories always changed when you asked.
“Morning puppy,” she greeted, leaning over to give you a small pat that you leaned into, tail wagging once more, “are you going to misbehave again today?”
“Hopefully not,” John hummed, picking up his tea cup once more, “Nikolai is arriving in a couple of hours.”
“Ah, your old crush,” Laswell mused happily as she sat down across the table, once again making you wonder how long they had known each other, “going to pull yourself together this time?”
Wait. Crush… crush? Your head whipped up to look at your owner and oh fucking hell, John fucking Price was blushing. You huffed, clearly not pleased at all with this new knowledge.
Wonderful, wasn’t that just fucking wonderful? Now he was going to abandon you fully, to run around being a lovesick puppy and playing with the new hybrids.
“Don’t tease me,” John answered, clearly embarrassed, a rare sight indeed, “that’s none of your business.”
Kate just laughed. You let out a grumble, trying to snuggle even closer to Price, practically clinging to his leg by now. Price returned his hand to your head, petting you once more, looking down at you. You returned his gaze, doing your best puppy eyes, letting out a little whine. He smiled at you, his other hand scratching you beneath your chin.
“It’s been years,” he mused and you were pretty sure that he wasn’t even talking to you, “he had to return to Russia. His mother passed away.”
Russia? A memory appeared in your mind. A small party. Champagne, treats. Praise from Price’s friends and colleagues, attention and love that you had basked in. Other hybrids that sent you longing and lustful looks. A tall, broad man with a loud laugh and a strong accent. Wearing a gold chain. Long hair, rough hands when he scratched you. He would almost make your owner shy with his teasing but he would shower you in love.
“Did I meet him at a party once?” You asked, “big guy, strong accent ? Wearing a gold chain?”
John laughed, “yes, that would indeed be Nikolai.”
Huh. It was not much you could remember about him. You remembered liking him, but despite that, you weren’t really interested in him getting here.
“He is going to help with Soap, Ghost and Gaz,” John then said, almost as if to convince himself that was why he was here. You rolled your eyes at their names. Not that you had any say, you were usually just called different pet names, but you no longer bore the name your mother had once given you. It wasn’t unusual for pets to get their names changed with every new owner. Your legal hybrid name, with John, was Daisy, even though the man rarely ever called you that. He called you so many other names, Princess, Darling, Sweetheart, Birdie and so on. But apparently he had decided not to change these working dogs’ names.
“Sure,” Kate answered with amusement in her voice, taking another sip of the coffee before adding, “whatever you say.”
Price didn’t answer with anything but an annoyed grumble.
“Those are stupid names,” you muttered. A sharp tug on your ear made you yelp, one of your hands grabbing onto his wrist to get him to let go of your furry ear.
“Be nice, Princess. You’re going to behave, am I understood?” You didn’t meet his eyes, a little whine merely escaped from you.
“She just needs to be shown her place,” Laswell carefully said, John not letting go of your ear, much to your dismay, but he didn’t tug on it - just kept it there as a warning, “maybe they’re better at that.”
“Hopefully they’ll be better at it than me,” he muttered and you whined - the grip didn’t loosen and he didn’t look down at you.
“Nikolai is going to help with that too?”
“He had ideas, at least.”
Fucking wonderful.
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Nikolai was the first of the four men that you already hated, to arrive.
You stayed inside the house, watching John appear from one of the stables, almost lighting up at the sight of the man who exited the car.
He still looked like the old memory you had of him; big, long black hair and a grin on his face. He was taller than John but not by much, Almost seeming completely opposite to your owner. While John wore working clothes, a grey T-shirt beneath his blue flannel, dirt on his pants, Nikolai was wearing a pair of blue jeans, white T-shirt and leather jacket.
Even inside the house, you could hear the booming man that was Nikolai - he greeted your owner with a loud “John!”, before hugging him, even spinning him around. You couldn’t help but stare; John was far from small but the other man had swung him around like he had been a teenage girl.
John was blushing like one too. The sight made you curious - just like you wondered how he and Kate met, you wondered how this Nikolai met your owner.
You couldn’t help but wag your tail at how happy they looked. Despite how you hated the idea of the man staying here, even just for a little while, you liked seeing John happy like this.
Then two pairs of eyes suddenly looked directly into the window, both staring at you. It made your ears tip back a little. Your tail kept wagging, eating up the attention.
When they moved, you moved too - rushing towards the entrance, stopping in the doorframe to the living room.
“My my, if it isn’t the famous puppy,” Nikolai mused, his Russian accent strong, eyes almost twinkling as he looked you up and down, “up to trouble, da?”
You huffed, crossing your arms, though you felt your tail betray you by wagging a little, “I’m never up to trouble.”
Both of the men laughed, making you growl a little.
“Unruly - just like last time I met you!” Nikolai mused, looking over at John by his side, “you gave up on training?”
John shook his head, “don’t even get me started, mate.”
“You told enough over phone,” Nikolai answered, waving his hand at John while pushing his shoes off with his feet.
Ah. So he had talked about you with Nikolai already? The fact made you scrunch your nose a little. Maybe Nikolai was just as stupid as John when it came to realizing why you were upset.
Nikolai stepped into your personal sphere with no warning, almost backing you up against the door frame, making you panic and growl a little. Tail no longer wagging - you could see John tense up in the corner of your eye, but you were too distracted by the stranger.
“Nik—“
A part of you expected him to hit you - you had met plenty of strangers with your former owners, who didn’t even let you sniff their hand or anything. Some hurting you and —
He offered his hand. It didn’t hit you, but raised to your nose instead. You squinted at him, before taking a couple of sniffs, still not quite sure what to make of him.
“Don’t like you,” you growled in warning, showing your teeth a little, not even attempting to be polite.
“You don’t like farm life yet, puppy?” He asked, tipping his head to the side, voice demeaning, stupid smile still on his face. You wanted to slap it off his face. “Stupid little puppy.”
Instead you chomped down on his hand, Price instantly scolding out your name, moving to drag you away. But Nikolai didn’t even flinch - didn't move besides laughing again.
It made both you and John confused.
“If you want to hurt me, you would have to bite harder, Princess,” Nikolai crooned, “now let go.”
You wanted to piss in his shoes and rip his socks to pieces. Maybe scratch up that leather jacket of his. Yet you found yourself letting go of him, your teeth barely even having made a dent in his skin.
“Get your ass into your room,” John hissed, a redness in his skin that you weren’t sure came from embarrassment or anger from your action.
“No harm done, John,” Nikolai laughed; he scratched you behind your right ear, just a tad to the left and it was like your brain melted for a couple of seconds, your body reacted on its own, tail wagging and right leg moving as well, “she just attempt to be dangerous no?”
John let out a small sound that you weren’t sure what to make of before he grabbed you by the collar and dragged you away from Nikolai, “and that’s the kind of behaviour I don’t want.”
“He was being mean,” you whined in self defense, unable to not follow the hand dragging you into the living room, “he almost dared me to!”
Perhaps an overstatement, but you already knew what was going to happen the moment that Price pushed you over the armrest of the couch, “I bit him to defend myself!”
“You will not, and I repeat myself, not bite my guests,” he pulled up your skirt and down your panties with such a quick movement that you didn’t get to point out that you didn’t care, one hand grabbing your tail; his other hand collided with your ass cheeks, once, twice and then a third time, before he snapped out, “got it?”
A defiant bark left you, because while you knew it was bad behavior, you also wanted to prove that you weren’t afraid of this Nikolai. You twisted a little, knowing your ass and pussy was basically on display for both men.
The grip on your tail tightened making you cringe with pain, jaw tensing.
“Apologise.”
You shook your head in defiance, ears hitting your face. Price leant over you a little, hissing out, “I would advise you to apologize, princess. Now.”
A part of you knew he was upset because he liked Nikolai. If he actually had feelings for him, as Kate had pointed out and several things pointed towards, you knew he wouldn’t like being embarrassed too much. Your ass still stung a little.
You were the actual victim here, weren’t you? It wasn’t your fault he decided to change everything you loved and then accept that he had his lost love over, who immediately tried to push your buttons.
“‘m sorry,” you mumbled after two seconds.
“Louder.” John demanded, straightening up, so that you were no longer hidden.
"I'm sorry."
There was silence for a moment - then the sound of a lighter and as you dared to glance over at the bigger man, who was leaning against the door frame, you saw him staring right back at you, a lit cigarette now between his lips.
“Is okay, Lapochka.” He said, stupid smile still on his face.
With that John finally let go off your tail, pulling up your underwear and your skirt down, ignoring your whine. He didn’t even touch your pussy! Didn’t even give you some love!
You pouted as you looked over at them, sliding down from the armrest of the couch, hands going beneath your skirt to rest against your warm skin on your cheeks.
“Sorry Nik,” John once again apologized - as if it was him who John had just spanked! The audacity! You let out a little displeased bark.
“She usually doesn’t bite people,” he continued as he ushered Nikolai as if you weren’t right there, needing love and attention.
“Is okay,” Nikolai answered with a shrug, casting one last glance over at you, smirking for just a second, “some of it was my fault - wanted to see what she would do.”
Asshole.
“Room, princess - now.”
“But he literally ju—“
“I said now.”
“You’re being so fucking mea—“
“Crate then.”
“I’m going, I’m going.” You might have slammed the door to your room, growling as you plopped down on your big fuzzy dog bed.
It was about 30 minutes later than you dared to wander from the room to the kitchen again, standing in the doorway, watching the two men talk. Eyes moved to watch you again, as you whined and got on your knees. crawling to the two men, shamefully settling between Price’s legs on your knees - tail carefully wagging, sending your owner a pitiful glance.
“‘m sorry,” you whimpered, knowing John was easy to sweeten up, “‘m sorry, sir.”
A hand moved down to scratch you, though it wasn’t John’s- you carefully licked his hand, a pleased rumble leaving the guest.
“Smart one,” he muttered, giving your cheek a little pinch, “knows how to be sweet, da?”
“Always,” John answered, looking down at you with his usual loving eyes, “soft lass is hard to stay mad at.”
“Perhaps you need some more company,” Nikolai pointed out, “I worked with military pets before, they’re much different than you, milaya.”
“We don’t need them,” you whined, having no idea what Nikolai had just called you, “John will forget about me, will be too busy, he –”
John’s foot ever so gently pushed against your stomach, “don’t start that again.”
“Just insecure,” Nikolai suggested, making you huff.
“Am not,” you argued, but you still nuzzled closer to John, starting to move your hands to his inner thighs, moving to look up the best you could, looking from under the edge of the table, sweetening your voice a little, “It’s just a mistake, that’s all.”
“Spoiled, that’s what you are, darling,” John pointed out, but he still reached out to gently pat your head, “however, the boys will be here in a couple of hours and there is nothing you can do about it.”
You whined pitifully at his words, upset that your clear dissatisfaction with them joining the farm wasn’t clear. It was like John didn’t want to realize at all that he didn’t need to stay out on this farm. He needed to go back to the city, to the fancy penthouse apartment, to the parties that lasted out to the late hours of the night, where you could gossip with all the other hybrids.
“Milaya,” Nikolai repeated again, rustling with something in his jacket that hung over the back of the chair he was currently sitting on, pulling a little package from it. You watched curiously, though trying to seem disinterested. That was until he opened it and the most wonderful, mouthwatering scent you had smelled in a while appeared and you instantly moved from between John’s legs to Nikolai’s, making your owner chuckle.
The piece of jerky looking meat that Nikolai held in between his thumb and pointer finger, looked simple but oh the smell of it made it known that it was good.
“You behave and let us look through papers now, da?”
“Yes,” you said, unable to look away or stop your tail from wagging, “I’ll behave.”
The moment Nikolai offered you the piece, you were on it, barely missing his fingers with your teeth as you stole it from his grip. Nikolai was chuckling, putting the bag back into his jacket, while you chewed, a pleased moan leaving you as you settled beneath the table.
Hopefully these mutts would prove themselves too difficult - so that John would send them away again. You would happily wave goodbye to them.
With the sweet aftertaste of the meat in your mouth and their soft voices discussing fences, you closed your eyes.
You weren’t going to help with the pack settling in - that was for sure.
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You barely got used to your owner’s crush, before there were once again new things happening. Kate appeared, greeting Nikolai like an old friend as well. You hadn’t figured out much about the man, other than he had worked with a lot of hybrids throughout the years. And with helicopters. However that all fit together, you didn’t know… didn’t really care.
The big truck that arrived a couple of hours later, stood out against the farm houses; a colorful logo was painted on the otherwise steel gray vehicle.
THE HYBRID’S DEN! helping owners find their perfect hybrid pet since 1960!
You remembered seeing their logos everywhere when you were sold to the auction, years ago. The auction houses and facilities had often felt like an intermission from your former life to your new; never knowing what was going to happen, treated with the minimal care, but kept healthy enough for the auctions.
The staff wore the colorful logo on their black uniforms, exciting the truck a few moments later. You almost wanted to tell them to ‘get the fuck back into that truck and drive off’ again, but you figured it wouldn’t result in them actually doing so.
You kept your distance, standing on the steps of the front door - strategically keeping Nikolai between you and the closed metal crates that were inside the truck. There were nothing more than a few air holes in the boxes, from where some different sounds appeared. Barks and a growl or two, though they all sounded a little slurred. Nikolai moved, giving you a better look at them, as he joined John who was nodding along to some of the information, while looking through and signing some papers. Though you were mostly distracted by the crates, you could hear some of their conversation, catching words like sedated, muzzles, stressed. Your own trip hadn’t been nice either but a part of you wanted to point out to your owner that this only proved your point of this being a bad idea.
Some of the auction workers helped move the crates to one of the bigger empty sheds that Price had apparently been renovating without your knowledge. So apparently not so empty any longer. Not that it had been hard to do that, you ignored most of the different renovating and building jobs that both John and the helpers did.
Still… he could have told you. God, did your master tell you nothing anymore? It didn’t really help your mood, your growing annoyance clearly amusing for Nikolai if his smiles back at you were anything to go by.
Despite your repeated frustration with this entire situation and these new hybrids’ mere existence, you followed along inside the shed. It was nice… Isolated, with a tiny bathroom, an area padded with mattresses, which was clearly for them to sleep together, pillows, blankets… you wanted that too. Sure, you had loads, but this only made you want more, want more from Price, so that he could prove he still loved you.
There was a radiator, several windows, lamps and electricity outlets. You scrunch your nose with displeasure. They didn’t deserve that. At least they weren’t inside the main house.
There was a little notch in the other corner opposite the bed area, almost like a tiny expansion, another door next to it; it was almost like a small horse stall - a deep layer of hay covered the floor. You didn’t even step into the place, but you knew the hay would itch.
You wanted it. Not the itching of the hay, but the entire place, simply for the sake of having it, so that they couldn’t. Speaking of them, you watched from the main entrance as the metal boxes were opened.
The Belgian malinois and German Shepherd mix was the first one to stumble out of the box; he fell two steps later, directly into the hay, a deep sigh leaving him, eyes darting around. You could barely see him from the amount of people inside the stall.
“It’s alright, Gaz,” Price comforted, while you stayed in the door, keeping his distance to the hybrid, “You’re okay, boy.”
Gaz didn’t answer, just panted a little, ears tipped backwards - his eyes looked a little blown from what you could see.
“When will the sedatives wear off?” Laswell asked one of the workers, but you didn’t look at them, eyes instead at the other hybrid.
When you had arrived, you had been scared and angry, drugged as well. But you had been alone. While you grew up with your parents, in a nice enough place, you hadn’t seen them for years - and while you had befriended a lot of other hybrids throughout the years, you had never been a part of a “pack”. You were alone — but this Gaz wasn’t and a part of you envied him, even for that.
“In an hour or two,” the worker replied, pulling you from your deeper thoughts, “they weren’t too happy to settle down before we left. It was necessary.”
A small bark left the man in the hay. It was answered by the two other hybrids, who still hadn’t come out of their respective boxes. Nikolai gently tapped on the top of one of the boxes with a knuckle.
“Come join your friend,” the Russian suggested, voice not as loud as earlier.
A moment later the border collie mix, Soap, crawled out of his box, eyes instantly on Gaz, letting himself lay halfway on top of the other. A little growl leaving him, muffled from behind the mask. Not even a second later, Ghost got out of the last crate. The Great Pyrenees almost got on his legs, growling despite the muzzle and swaying from the drugs.
You watched the staff pull back the metal boxes, letting the hybrids get some space. Ghost didn’t stay on his legs for too long, eventually sitting down next to his pack mates, the lower half of his face hidden from view as he looked around the shed.
His gaze stopped at you; you were unable to sense the reaction from seeing you again, if there even was any.
“We’ll let you have some minutes, okay? Then we’ll take the muzzles off.” John gently offered, pulling the giant from the moment, so that he looked away, giving Price a small nod. Your owner was at the edge of the hay filled area but he didn’t step into it.
You stepped back, letting the staff members from the auction pull away the boxes, Laswell and another farm worker helping them. Nikolai looked from the pack, then over his shoulder at you, barely even trying to hide a smile.
Then he winked. You sent him an unimpressed look back, tipping your chin up a little, looking away from the three hybrids in the hay, pretending you weren’t curious about them.
Some more rustling in the hay and then a half croaked, “mah held hurts,” left Soap, voice a little slurred - you couldn’t help but look over at him. His accent was weird. His ears were tipped down, some hay already stuck in his hair. With the pathetic look on his face you didn’t understand how he was supposed to be a big bad soldier.
You weren’t being petty at all.
“It’s the sedatives,” John calmly answered the hybrid, who let out a big breath from behind the muzzle.
“If I take the muzzle off, will you behave?”
“We have water for you,” Nikolai added, keeping his distance - you kept him in between you and the dogs, not risking anything. You trusted the men to be able to defend themselves. But with no claws or fangs, you weren’t a fighter - more a runner. Even if you didn’t like running.
The two muzzled ones, Soap and Ghost, sent each other a look - but it was Gaz, half hidden beneath Soap, who let out a tired “please.”
Ghost gave a small nod then. John stepped into the hay, unhurried as to not spook them, and it was Ghost who tipped his head down first to let Price open the lock with a small key. The moment he was free, he smacked his cracked and dry looking lips.
Clearly, the man had never heard of chapstick.
Though, much more apparent, where the colony of scars on his lower half of the face. Trailing from around the lips, one over the nose as well - cheeks and chin. As he smacked his lips, you saw he had lost a fang in the bottom of his mouth. It wasn’t just sanded down like yours, the tooth was fully missing.
Price repeated the action with Soap, the hybrid instantly opening his mouth wide with a yawn, his jaw even making a popping wound.
Nikolai appeared with three bottles of water from a little cooler in the shed - you didn’t have your own cooler, which meant you would be demanding one… not that you needed it but still — giving the hybrids each one, that was always immediately opened. Gaz pushed Soap away and sat up too, while John backed away.
“My name is John Price -we met shortly at the auction. I’m the owner of the farm and you will all answer to me. Got it?”
“Yes sir.” For a moment you were impressed with the three hybrids’ synchronized answers. Only a short moment however. They were probably just beasts trained to answer like that. Yeah, yeah, you could do that too, if you wanted. But you didn’t.
“This is Nikolai, my friend, he will stay with me for a while, helping you all to settle in properly. You will follow his orders too - as well as a mean looking woman, Kate Laswell, who will appear at some point.” Humour tipped into the last part making Soap snort and Gaz give out a half-slurred giggle, while Ghost just let out a grunt.
“And this,” Price suddenly turned over to you, looking a little amused from the distance you kept between all of them, “is my pet, Daisy.”
“Well hellooo, bonnie lass,” Soap said, his tail immediately wagging, grinning at you, as he slurred, “aren’t ye a sight for sore eyes.”
Nikolai and John dared to laugh at his words, his rather pathetic attempt at being charming, while you growled, watching Soap get an elbow in the side from Gaz, while Simon just stared, almost differently than the scot, like a hungry beast. If you were fully inside the shed, you might be able to smell if they were turned on. Disgusting.
“Come’ere, sweetheart,” John crooned, clearly pleased with the reactions from the men, while you scrunch your nose, tipping your chin up a little - giving it a shake to reject the command.
“Do not be like that, milaya,” Nikolai suggested, “thought you were going to behave, no?”
You just growled a little again, unable to help your tail go between your legs a little; you didn’t really want to be spanked again, but you didn’t really want to become acquainted with these hybrids either.
“My princess isn’t too pleased with you lot being here,” John calmly explained without taking his eyes off you - they were still all staring at you - as John raised a hand, making a ‘come-hither’ motion that had you swallowing some spit, “but she isn’t going to chase away any wolves, are ye, pet?”
You huffed, crossing your arms before stepping inside the shed. The scent in there was nice and clean, even with the vague scent of the newcomers, and you walked to John, stopping halfway hidden by him.
However, as John’s arm snaked around your soft waist in a strong grip, you whimpered as you were pulled forward a little, unable to hide behind him. Both Gaz and Soap were wagging their tails at you, while you tried ignoring the scent of the room the best you can.
“I’m expecting you all to get along - and not hurt each other too badly, understood?”
While the others answered in agreement you just hid your face in his shoulder, twisting a little in his grip.
“No playin’ too rough,” Nikolai added, “Puppy isn’t used to other hybrids.”
“I am!” you snapped, “Just not…”
The shed was quiet for a moment as you mulled over your next words. What to call them. Military dogs. Strays. Mutts, un –
“Not what?” Nikolai almost seemed entertained by your declaration and you looked away, before finally mumbling.
“... working dogs.”
Simon huffed. You shot him a sharp look that he didn’t really seem to be affected by, in any way.
“I’m sure you all will get along,” John just mused, before looking down at his watch, “A certain princess has become too bored now we’re no longer in the city -” he ignored your mutter of ‘have not’, “- and I can’t entertain her all the time. Mentally or sexually.”
You whined with embarrassment, a little angry growl seeping into it, but Price didn’t really react, barely moved as you twisted in his grip, ignoring the grin of the several males in the house.
“ - Now, I will leave you three to get acclimated a little. But, there are a couple of rules that I expect you all to follow, if not there will be punishments.”
Synchronized nods. You still twisted, digging your fingers into his arm to no avail - then a hand snagged onto your collar from behind, choking you shortly as you were pulled back, Nikolai pressing against your back. Now free, Price pointed to a little map over the area, that you hadn’t noticed on the wall.
“Your jobs will essentially be to help keep the place safe. We have had problems with wolves and foxes, and so has the neighbors, since there lives a bunch in the area. You three will help keeping them away and Soap will help around my sheeps and goats in particular, given you’re a herding dog–”
Soap nodded, tail wagging, all three dogs staring at the map intensely.
“- I will find other things for the two of you to help with as well, but your main focus will be on keeping the animals - and the rest of us - safe. One of the neighbors got some horses stolen not too long ago. I would like to avoid that as well.”
You didn’t even know that. What you did know, however, was the heat of Nikolai’s body behind you, keeping you close and tethered so that you couldn’t run off.
“Most of the wildlife will go away if intimidated, but at times you might need to attack them. I am not going to give you any firearms yet though,” John looked over at them, his voice firmer than you usually heard it, “That will come along the way, if needed. We can discuss other weapons later on.”
The mere idea of John giving them any kinds of weapon made you want to throw up - or throw a fit. Had he gone fuckin’ mad?? giving them guns? They were going to shoot everyone, going to kill John and you. You really didn’t want to die.
“My farm includes these - and these fields. You will not and I repeat not, leave my land without a valid reason. There will be punishments if you do - you will all be given collars like another certain puppy–” all eyes watched you for a moment and though, you wanted to hide your face in your hands, you didn’t, merely crossed your arms, ignoring the low laughter from Nikolai behind you, “that are fitted with trackers, so I will know if you do.”
Great. So hoping for them to run off wasn’t a possibility for now.
“Biting or attacking my staff in any way will result in severe punishments. You will lose privileges if you don’t do as told, without a valid reason. Is that understood?”
“Yessir.”
“Good boys. Now, these upcoming days you will most likely be following me or Laswell around, while we get you in on all these. All dinners will be eaten in the main house and you will be given keys once I get them made one of these upcoming days. I will give you a couple of hours now –” Price looked down at his wrist watch, “Then call you in, an hour or two before dinner, so that you all can shower. Any injuries, allergies or anything that the Hybrids’ Den didn’t write down, that I need to know?”
They all shook their heads, behaving like synchronized swimmers in your opinion.
“Good. You’re all free to relax here or explore the farm if you wish so, when the drugs wear off.”
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
As you entered the farm house, you shrugged off your jacket and abandoned your shoes in the entrance, not caring to clean up after you, ignoring John’s irked huff.
“Insane!” you declared, walking further into the house, “You’ve gone insane! You’re all going to forget about me and those horny knotted mutts will be all up in my business!”
You flopped down on the couch, face first, continuing your ranting into the fabric.
“I might as well barricade myself inside my room - Because I dont have a tiny house!! but guns! SURE ! give them guns!” Your voice was muffled, but you were, perhaps a tad dramatically, loud in your ranting. You could just make out whispering between the two men but you didn’t care… not until you were forced to, quite literally.
“Little puppy,” Nikolai’s accent was heavy - his body even heavier as he settled on the back of your thighs, a fist coming to rest next to your head, that kept his full body weight from you, “Throwing a fit again, da?”
You could feel the slight bulge against your fat ass, making you swallow - and tail wag, hitting Nikolai against the thighs, making the man chuckle. John as well, who settled down with a cigar in one of the arm chairs opposite the couch. You didn’t even need to look to know that he watched as Nikolai tugged at your skirt.
#boolger#my writing#fanfiction#call of duty#cod fanfic#lapdog at a farm#ao3 fanfic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty soap#ghost call of duty#kyle gaz garrick#john price call of duty#cod nikolai#farmer!john price#john price x reader#nikolai x reader#x reader#reader insert#reader x simon ghost riley x Johnny Soap MacTavish x Kyle Gaz Garrick#johnny soap mctavish x reader#hybrid!141#hybrid!reader#hybrid!au#farmer au#nikolai x john price#cw noncon#cw dubcon
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Worthy Motivator.
Blade x Reader.
Warnings: Typical Blade morbidity, Blade's slightly yan because I can never write him as Normal, and not SFW implications. Word count: 1k.
Author notes are at the end of the story!
Washcloth in hand, you wipe away the perspiration clinging to your skin.
While doing so, you squint, an act your reflection obediently mimics, confirming that yes; this disheveled figure is indeed you. You smooth out your hair, moisturize your face, then apply a light layer of toner. The process is completed in a timely fashion. A few hand motions made midair dim the bathroom’s lights.
Yawning, the door slides open at your behest, retreating into the wall like a turtle does its shell. The room is dome-shaped and customized to your liking. A light birch wood floor, pale pink walls, and windows showcasing scenery of a tulip field stretching on for miles. Windmills dot the distance, turning at their leisure. Gentle orange hues from two rising suns envelop the room in a cozy glow.
If you hadn’t known any better, you’d believe you were actually on the planet Ethos, not traversing the cold, unforgiving space between galaxies.
While playing with the settings to change the time being depicted to twilight, it finally dawns on you that you’re not alone.
Blazing eyes freeze you in place and your breath catches in your throat.
“Blade,” you greet, wincing at how gracelessly the word rolls from your tongue, “I didn’t expect…”
You cut yourself off, figuring that finishing the sentence will strengthen the bizarre atmosphere. What can be said, anyway? ‘Thanks for that,’ or ‘couldn’t have done it without you,’ maybe? Both options seem equally terrible. To make matters worse, he doesn’t explain why he’s stuck around. He continues to stand beside your nightstand, arms crossed over his chest, his lips drawn in a straight line.
You’re the only one boasting signs of your previous tryst, the most obvious being your unsteady gait. Hoping to convey some decorum, you clasp your hands behind your back and straighten your posture. Surely, he’ll spill whatever’s on his mind and then make himself scarce. That’s been his modus operandi ever since this undefined relationship stumbled into existence. You tried not to take it personally. You’re both adults, if he doesn’t want to stick around for pillow talk, you won’t fault him for it.
His eyes sear through your being.
“You’re going to Illij.”
You blink, thrown off by the flat delivery and the intentions it conceals. He’s either painfully blunt or cryptic in his word choice. It’d be nice if he could find a middle ground between both extremes, but that’s wishful thinking.
With unusual impatience, he adds, “Alone.”
Ah.
A certain magenta-haired beauty’s previous words resurface in your mind.
“—Alone? Not taking Bladie along for the ride?” she had tutted. “You’ll hurt his feelings.”
You thought she was teasing, as she’s wont to do, yet your developing dilemma proves otherwise. That, or you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the truth in her words.
Whilst shifting your weight from one foot to another, you meekly reply, “Kafka gave me permission.”
He has the audacity to roll his eyes at you.
“Permission, huh?”
The condescension corrodes your former sheepishness.
Placing a hand on your hips, you reply, “That’s the word I used, yes.”
Your room pulsates with palpable tension. He stands to his full height — having been seated on your bed’s edge — sauntering over like a cat poised to pounce. You cross your arms over your chest as the distance shrinks. He’s yet to fully dress himself, wearing only his signature gray pants. His bare torso is marred with innumerable scars that vary in length and angle. Every time you both succumb to the heat of passion, his bandages occupy a new spot, depending on the circumstances of his latest battles. Presently, the cloth coils around his midsection and upper left arm.
He’s close enough now for you to notice the latter unraveling.
It isn’t anything logical that urges you forward. The sentiment resides deep in the recesses of your psyche, unsuccessfully shoved down by denial and trepidation. This formless substance takes shape as you meet him halfway. Blade towers over you. Given the massive gap in your abilities, you should fear him, but you know your pounding heart isn’t spurred by negative emotion.
Much to his perplexity, you set aside the nascent quarrel, focusing your attention elsewhere. Nimble fingers resecure the rebellious cloth.
“You’re terrible at taking care of yourself,” you mutter. “Honestly, what am I s’posed to do with you…?”
It’s subtle, but this shift in tone relaxes his muscles. That is, until you admit:
“I don’t like you being my bodyguard.”
Confusion contorts his countenance, then something more raw; something dangerously intimate.
“I don’t like seeing you get hurt because of me,” you continue, lowering both your voice and head. “It’s… it’s awful and— and then— you don’t even care!”
Hoping to avoid further humiliation, you stop there, taking deep breaths to prevent tears from flowing. This wasn’t the direction you wanted the evening to take. You wanted to take a bath, dip into a game Silver Wolf wouldn’t stop raving about, and then prepare for your imminent trip. The trip that’d put thousands of lightyears between you and a man whose blood spilled for your sake could rival an ocean.
“I’ll be fine on my own. I’ve got Silv’s disguise software and she knows how to track me. So — I don’t know — take it easy, or something. You’ve got the month off.”
His response is immediate. “I can’t.”
“Wh— did you not hear anything I just said?” you sputter.
“I heard,” he confirms. He raises his hand to the bandage you rewrapped, as if trying to savor your lingering warmth. “When you’re gone, I cannot ‘take it easy.’”
Blade uses your stupefaction to his advantage. He takes your much smaller hand into his and places it over his heart. It thumps at a slow, steady pace, like it hasn’t been obliterated and formed anew thousands of times. Your fingers twitch. His body, though colder than the average person’s, emits just enough warmth to indicate life. You feel the raised, textured skin that’s present above his every vital organ. It speaks of untold horrors; untold suffering.
His chest rumbles as he says, “If I’ve no choice but to live… you’d make for a worthwhile reason.”
You rest your forehead against his chest and squeeze your eyes shut.
Kafka… are you sure it isn’t my feelings that’re in the most danger?
A/N: owing to mental illness, aside from nexus, i devised another storyline for (slightly) less unhinged blade, this time with a stellaron hunter reader. while it has the material to make a series, i don't plan on starting up another multi-chaptered work until i make further progress into my current project 😭 still, i'm happy to talk about it if anyone's curious! here are some tidbits that give additional story context for this universe:
reader isn't super thrilled to be a stellaron hunter. a desperate situation ended in them joining the ranks. they're the emanator of the aeon of illumination, whose name i'm still undecided on. essentially, they're a 'consumer of stars,' capable of absorbing + storing well. you guessed it. stars. as you can imagine, this ability can provide immeasurable energy or devastation depending on its usage.
as a consequence, when reader's performing the sealing process, they're extremely vulnerable. it isn't exactly subtle, people tend to notice when their nearby sun is going cyaaaaaa ✌ and try to stop them. that's where bladie comes in. he kills anything and anyone that threatens them.
ethos is a pretty meadow planet that's known for harvesting clean energy (hydro, solar, wind) and using minimum technology. most of its inhabitants go their entire lives without ever seeing a computer. long distance communication is carried out through a dedicated fleet of carrier pigeons.
illij is a laissez-faire paradise. consumerism galore. ads projected in the night sky, ads projected in your dreams in certain low income areas where people can't afford space adblock™. it's a lot but sometimes reader appreciates the distraction.
#blade x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#stellaron hunters x reader#hsr blade#reader insert#blade brainrot#bf blade#my stuff
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satoru gojo knows he's not wanted. only needed - a weapon for killing curses and curse users, day in and day out, the lynchpin of jujutsu society.
he's fine with that, most of the time. the truth is, when suguru left, he thought that was the end for him. he was never very good at friendship in the first place, at making people like him.
he has a difficult personality, and he doesn't want to change. people willing to deal with him as he was were few and far between, and they never had that immediate connection like he did with suguru.
even if it left him unbearably lonely. it's just not in his nature to mince words, to hold back, to play nice. if he couldn't be satoru gojo, then what else did he have left?
and it's fine, most of the time.
but some of the time, it's not. it's really, really not. sometimes, it's worth it to try, just the tiniest bit, not to be a complete ass and drive away a pretty face who seems unbothered by his attitude.
that's how he ends up with you - a non-sorcerer. he hasn't told you about sorcery in general and doesn't want you to know.
to him, your shared penthouse is his safe space. he never walks or drives there, only ever teleports so that no one can trace him there. no one, not even at the school, knows that he primarily lives there.
he spends every spare hour (sometimes even just ten minute) he can there. finishing missions early, darting off after lessons, eating there whenever he can.
satoru only sleeps whenever you sleep. he never showers alone, never does his nighttime routine on his own.
that's all precious time he could be spending at your side.
washing your hair, your face, cleaning up alongside you. laughing and splashing and making a little more of a mess if he can get away with it.
here, there are no curses, no former friends turned traitor, no one who needs his help.
you smile as soon as you see him, hear him, run up to hug him if your hands are free.
he's on the lock screen of your phone. once or twice he's caught you just staring at it, delight painted all over your lips.
all you want from him is his company -
and god, is he ever aware, you're the only one alive who does.
most of his coworkers dislike him to various degrees. even his students have mixed feelings about him sometimes.
he does his best, he really does, but he can't bring himself to get attached to someone who might one day leave.
you won't, though (you can't), so he's free to love you all he wants.
he'll freely confess - he's overcompensating. pouring all the missed opportunities to bond, all the awkward moments where his attitude turned other people away, into the dam that is your relationship.
you don't mind his funky schedule (too much), you're a huge homebody who likes having date nights at home.
you smooth off all the rough edges of his personality - the arrogance, the smarmy comments - with a laugh and a taunt, a hand in his hair that he can't help but lean into like the domesticated pet he is.
god, he loves you. he loves you so, so much, unreasonably so - loves coming home to a "satoru! welcome back~", loves bringing home meals from different places and watching you try them with delight (you joke that his mysterious job must be as a delivery man, which he laughs at more than he should), loves coming home to your unnecessary attempts at cooking every now and then, something indescribable curling in his chest.
he loves sitting and talking with you about the latest show you're watching, telling you about his "coworkers" and "juniors" (sometimes he has to stop himself from giggling about it) and how annoying his latest day at work was.
sometimes it's sort of vague and vapid but it's fun when it's with you. sometimes it's deeper stuff, real stuff ("my oldest friend passed away recently" "one of my juniors at work has a complicated family situation") and you seem to always know just what to say. talking to you always makes him feel better.
he worries, sometimes, that he's not as good to you as you are to him. he tries - god, does he try - to show you the extent of his love, if he can't afford the words or time, then in deeds.
you're taken care of for the rest of your life, that was a given. the penthouse is in your name, various trusts set up in the impossible event of his death.
you have full access to a joint account that was actually just yours, set up for you by him - he just didn't feel like trying to convince you to accept the money.
he buys you things, of course. food mostly, to eat together, but also little trinkets and manga and souvenirs of the various places he goes to. little pieces of his life to share with you.
and when he can, he does do dates. every second he gets to spend with you is like gold, and he spends them all fully invested, eyes locked on you and yours, walking on air the entire time just from your presence. ready to talk about anything you had an interest in.
he's just that infatuated. satoru could talk for days to anyone, but you're the only one who'd listen, who'd chatter back just as enthusiastically. he wants you on speed dial every moment he's away.
shopping trips, too, he's always happy to play dress up, to dutifully compliment you even though privately he thinks you look best without any clothes -
and that, too, he does for you. he makes no secret of his affection for your body. spares not even a second getting to his knees, nuzzling against your thigh, cheeks flushed as he looks up at you with pleading eyes won't you feed me, pretty please, i'm starving~
he shows you he loves you. with hands and mouth and body, as a sorcerer should. silent curses falling from his lips as his body joins to yours.
it seems almost cruel of you to let him have this. why can't he live here forever? why can't he always be inside you?
satoru gojo knows he is the absolute last person who should be complaining about this, but why is life so unfair?
why can't he spend every minute of every day by your side? touching you? talking to you?
in his wildest dreams he's not killing curses or sorcerers or changing the world.
he's in bed with you, by your side from the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep. that's his dream, just you being there, always.
he worries most of all what he'd do if you ever fought.
you're not the type - you "need space to calm down" sometimes, which is usually just you going back to your room. you "want to have a calm discussion" where you sit and listen to him and talk about feelings, and you have this way of making him talk.
you're good at communicating, at making people feel better, and understanding others. sensitive in a way that he's not.
you're never out to hurt him, even when he can tell his time away is grating on you, his constant absences and flightiness rightly off-putting.
you never argue with him, never make demands, and that's how you got together in the first place, the perfect match.
(it scares him, really, being made for battle as he is. where's your fighting spirit? wouldn't you cry and scream and beg if he was going to leave you? wouldn't you go to war for your love? he knows he would.)
but deep down he knows it's there. a massive part of his life is hidden from you - things that are important to him; his mission, his students, his power.
he doesn't know what to do, really.
he wants to keep you safe, unworried. he wants to keep this island of peaceful, mundane happiness in his life.
he wants you to love him, wholly and completely, for all that he is. he wants to hear you tell him he's doing it right. that you're proud of him.
there's so much he wants now, compared to when his life was just teaching students, killing curses, and waiting for the day he'd have to kill his only friend.
satoru isn't sure which one is better. because even though he hopes he can have you how he wants, and the rest of his life too -
he's starting to think it might not be possible.
#jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo#gojo x reader#lemon#hints of yandere#really gojo is just Kinda Silly#but mostly he is sad and lonely#fluff#relationship study#mayyybe character study#the smut is very light but it's still there#if you saw the typo in the FIRST SENTENCE of this post when it went up... no u didn't
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DID YOU LIKE HER IN THE MORNING ? ! a part of ' BUZZ '.
'cause i don't know if i can compete with the former crowned head of your old ford's front seat, and the story goes you blame it on the lonely nights for it ever starting. but answer the question: did you like her in the morning?
SUMMARY : you try piecing the puzzle of jude's ex-lover together. PAIRING : jude bellingham x reader TAGS : reader's gender, ethnicity, nationality, and appearance is not specified. insecurity, angst a little bit-ish, jude is eepy WORDCOUNT : 1,218 NOTES : first one-shot in the series wooo!! 🎉🎉 make sure to check out the series master list!! this one-shot is also inspired by lacy by olivia rodrigo and girl crush by little big town ♡ masterlist.
Jude’s previous love was a nobody.
Which is to say that no matter the amount of models he follows on Instagram, and no matter the amount of sparkling cars and glamorous lifestyle that he effectuates, Jude Bellingham is, after all, capable of feeling at home with somebody who is a nobody.
Which is to say that you sound like a fucking unbearable, out of touch, bliss-tippled piece of shit whenever you think about her in your stupid little head.
Which is to say that you have not stopped thinking about her in your stupid little head.
How she wears her hair, how she lines her lips. You memorised how often she reapplies her hand cream, how often she takes that sunstick out her bag; you know what warrants a smile from her face and what draws in a laugh.
You might be in love with her just as much as Jude was.
The girl, you learned, had little to no Instagram presence. But she is there, and not a single person on Earth aside from Jude’s inner circle—and you—know about their relationship. She was there on Jude’s private account—you had known him shortly before they separated—filling up his Instagram stories with recordings on how she is cooking him her homeland’s cuisine, how Jude was the only living man on Earth that her pedigree cat would ever let pet her.
And Jude had deleted all of their pictures together the moment they broke up; he calls it bitterness, you see it as resentment. He blocked her everywhere: he blocked her number, he blocked her Instagram account, he blocked her Spotify account, he blocked her Medium account (you didn’t even know that blocking someone on Medium is a thing you can do).
But you don’t share the same pettiness as Jude, right?
No you do not. You still go to her page, even if you don’t follow her, and scan over the love poems she still posts, studying each line and wonder if Jude is still the muse of her writing—her delicate, brittle writing.
Ultimately, your concern lies in how Jude was not the one to break the relationship off. She saw a loss of spark, she saw that fame is getting into his head. And Jude? Jude wanted nothing but forever with her. Something she could not match.
God.
It would be easier if you just mind your own business, shut the case, and not bring her up in whatever chance you got. But it would also be easier if she was not someone he had loved.
A pizza delivery man fell from his Vespa and she was the first person to help him up, he once laughed a fond reminiscence, just a few months before you get together. No one even moved an inch—I certainly did not. I have tried helping others as much as I can since then, y’know? I don’t know, man. I just think of her every time I do something nice.
How are you going to fill such a deep gap?
You accidentally saw a text from his friend one night. “I don’t like this one as much.” You didn’t need much explaining, and pretended to not see how Jude typed a quick “Fuck off????”, but you thought about that comment for a long, hard week. The same friend had pointed out earlier in your relationship that Jude had only blocked her because if he were to hear her voice once again, he would come running back to her. It was something neither of you nor Jude appreciated.
But it made you think.
Thinking sure is the root of disdain.
You stare at your bathroom mirror, and Jude snores softly in the background, lying face down with his lips parted slightly. You wonder why loving Jude Bellingham has turned you into such a narcissist: always looking so deeply into every single crook of your face, every bump and scars and pores.
You have never paid attention to yourself this much, not since forever, not since your first love in middle school.
But somehow, this is worse. Much, much worse.
It’s seven-thirty in the morning, and the sun is barely up. You step out of your bathroom and take in how he lays upon your bed, unknowing how much bigger he is than the small cranny of your apartment.
“Mornin’,” he mumbles, opening his eyes for a quick second before quickly shutting them again. You step closer, sinking the bed with one knee. “Sun’s up early, eh, love?”
“Mhm?” Your fingertips reach to travel on his hairline, fading in clarity and needing another visit to the barber soon. “Sun’s not up, Jude.”
“Jude?” He let out a disgruntled groan, eyes still closed with his hand blindly grasping for yours on his face. “Why Jude? ‘Tcha mad at me?”
The sleepiness is as thick as his accent. You laugh softly and lean in to press a tender kiss against his temple, interlocking your fingers with his, but your mind cannot help but speculate on how she had kissed him like this before, how he would sleep on her ribbon-adorned bedcover, with her Birman just in the corner, curled up on a window sill, as pretty as she was.
“Am not, baby.”
Jude hums. “What’d I do?” He asks again, but before you can answer, he snuggles deeper into his pillow rambling. “Wanna sleep on your lap, wanna cuddle—can I?”
“My love,” you coo, climbing deeper into the bed, letting him climb onto your lap, “come.”
His ear rests on your thighs and arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, holding on you tight like your air conditioner is going to blow you away.
“Not goin’ back to sleep, candy?”
“That’s a new one,” you wonder if he had used that nickname on her before. “No, baby. I’ve been up a while.”
“Why didn’tcha wake me up?”
You shrug, trying to get comfortable with being in love with him. “You look peaceful sleeping.”
He answers with a grown into your lap, pressing a soft kiss on your thigh before nuzzling into his prior position. “Wanna be awake when you are, love.”
“You need your rest,” you rub your palm along the side of his neck, stopping to move just move your thumb.
“Rest comes everyday,” he says, “I don’t get to see you everyday now, do I?”
This time, you smile. The fear is consistent—it creeps up your veins like anxiety towering and taunting your every breath.
“Well, you’re awake now” —
If he is offering his love to you, though it was once someone else’s, would it be so much of a sin just to try it? Even if he ends up hurting you, even if he ends up leaving you for something that he knew was much sweeter?
— “what would you like to do?”
“Mhm,” Jude opens his eyes, turning his head to catch your eyes.
You freeze, and her face appears in your head: how does she talk about you to her friends? How does she compare you to her? The way you do your hair, or call Jude your baby?
“Dunno, love,” he mutters. “What do you want to do?”
You trace your fingers again on his hairline, drawing down to his neck.
“What about pizza?” You suggest. “Let’s order some pizza.”
#BUZZ !#໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა : 𝑬𝑼𝑷𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑨 𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑨#jude bellingham#jude#jude bellingham x reader#jude x reader#bellingham x reader#real madrid#real madrid fic#real madrid x reader#football fic#football x reader#one-shot
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Post-Veilguard Solavellan and Rook headcanons:
Because Lavellan is directly in the Fade with no Veil to separate her from it, it becomes a (relatively) simple matter for Solas to reconnect her to the lost immortality of the Elves. It only works while she's physically present in the Fade however, and at first he has to function as a go-between until that connection is strong enough on its own(like an unused muscle).
Lavellan no longer NEEDS food or drink as a result but being without it is extremely uncomfortable. Feeling like you're starving constantly sucks, even if it might not kill you.
This is fine though, because Rook teams up with Dorian to make a plan. The Sending Crystal Dorian gave Lavellan is infamously always on her person, so can act as a beacon to her location. Dorian gets things sent to the Lighthouse, and Rook facilitates the delivery of the goods via helpful spirits with the Sending Crystal being their guide.
Rook works with Archon Dorian Pavus to crush any black market slave trading that they uncover. The Lighthouse is used to ferry the freed people to safety, as it was in the past.
Rook becomes the new master of the Lighthouse. They end up getting a Sending Crystal pair of their own to share with Solas, and he and they collaborate on things as needed. It's an odd friendship. Bitch to bitch communication. It's scathing but heartfelt. They both know he needs a buddy.
Eventually Rook also is reconnected enough to the Fade to the point they also stop aging, but anytime they enter Thedas proper it resumes for the duration they are there. As a result, they will likely either eventually die like normal, or choose to work via proxies while remaining in the Lighthouse physically.
Lavellan and Solas, wherever their vague-ass destination actually is, end up creating a fairly comfortable home despite how 'terrible' wherever they're at is supposed to be.
Cole warns her when Dorian is about to pass away of age, and she says her heartwrenching farewells in his final dream. Dorian wills his Sending Crystal to Rook, with the stipulation that Rook find Lavellan someone equally charming to chat with so she doesn't lose her connection to the real world. It's...a tall order 😔 Dorian is no less dear to Lavellan than Mythal was to Solas, for perspective.
As the one who accompanied the Dread Wolf into exile, Lavellan becomes a mythological figure amongst the few Dalish who still keep to some of their ways, more or less against her will. Her name, Ellenere, means nothing in Elvish originally but becomes the name of the goddess who serves as the heart and guide that endears The People to the trickster Fen'Harel. Statues of a female wolf are placed outside of camps next to those of Fen'Harel, so that she will placate him and he will not trouble the clan. She and he guard or stalk the dreams of the world... depending on the story.
Clan Lavellan is an awkward guest at the Arlathvhen because of their former-First's new deific status. Members of the clan also no longer choose to receive Vallaslin as adults.
In the far, far future Solas and Lavellan have children. This follows the spinning of myths by the Dalish that claimed they already had, which flustered Lavellan greatly and prompted a conversation about whether such a thing would even be possible, let alone advisable. Being born in the Fade, these children do not lack the connection their cousins in Thedas would and are therefore immortal like their parents, at least until they leave it (they do).
Solas and Lavellan fuck like...a lot. There are Dalish myths about that too, eventually 😂 Like when a thunderstorm is happening, they're being too rowdy. The person who started these myths may or may not be The Iron Bull.
#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#solavellan#inquistor lavellan#solas#dorian pavus#dragon age rook#my stupid headcanons
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Another Spearmaster detail I wished was talked about or explored more because In all honesty, it makes feel So Normal /pos, is the fact in some of their sleep screens, they draw an iterator with a frown or themself with a smile
While these are both very small details, it does open up some very interesting implications
1: The fact that Spearmaster is intelligent enough to understand that frowning/smiling could represent different emotions, and draws themself/the iterators frowning/smiling despite neither of them having a mouth, alongside most likely never seeing a creature with an ability to smile/frown
2: The fact this heavily implies that they knew at least one of the iterators they were familiar with was unhappy, the iterator drawn here is most likely either Suns or Pebbles as well since those would the the iterators they were most familiar with... (I'm personally leaning on the former, since Suns is the iterator who's puppet they would have most likely seen the most, since they only did visit Pebbles once before their second mission... I wonder if that means they noticed how upset/distraught Suns was before they sent them out on their second delivery...)
That's not even mentioning some of the other drawings they do, which have different, but in all honesty equally interesting implications, such as how they draw a rot cyst in one of their sleep screens
This is probably me overthinking things, but, the best way I can explain how I feel about it knowing what rot is... It makes me sad in the same way a bird imitating the sound of a chainsaw would, they don't know that this thing, this monster, was brought into existence by the first message they delivered, the message they were made to deliver
#rw spearmaster#rain world downpour#rw#rain world#slugcat#rain world spearmaster#SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS FUNNY RAT WITH HARPOONS GUYS#SO NORMAL#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH#lex rambles
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Summer 2024 anime roundup: ALL IN ONE
hey! i also post these reviews on my ko-fi. this is a labor of love so if you like the stuff i write, i'd really appreciate it if you'd throw a few bucks my way. thanks!
Well, I'm much busier now than I was in the first half of the year, so that means less time for anime and less time for writing about it. I managed to watch only (ONLY?) nine shows this season, so might as well put it all in one post.
As always, each show's OP is linked in the title.
Let's jump in.
Returning anime
NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a, part 2
After a COVID-plagued production delayed the last few episodes of its first half last year, A-1 Pictures’ adaptation of Yoko Taro’s landmark action-RPG returns to deliver the real meat of the story. And as with the game, the first half of NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a was something I’d classify as “pretty good!,” while the remainder is what makes the entire endeavor worthwhile.
I’m happy to report that not only did the studio not lose a step, but they improved on the presentation of Ver. 1.1a immensely. The action sequences are superb and expressive throughout, and the CGI integration is actually, y’know, integrated this time out. The score, both original and borrowed from Keiichi Okabe’s contributions to the NieR duology, remains as evocative as ever. They also ramped up the cheesecake more than a little bit, and let’s be real, that was the draw for a lot of people in the first place.
If there’s any one thing Ver. 1.1a can claim as an advantage over the game’s narrative, it’s that the former does a lot more work in building on A2 as a character. There’s just enough to chew on in the game, but having more of her backstory from the YoRHa stage play and manga adaptation integrated into the narrative makes for more of a meal. Having A2’s history and real personality pinned up as a backdrop as she struggles to suppress both really fleshes out her journey and eventual resolve as shit continues to hit the fan. She’s also just a big ol’ tsundere sometimes. And not for nothing, but they gave her an absolute DUMPY for no reason, but I can’t really pin that as a negative.
9S’ whole thing happens too. I really don’t have much to add to that.
When I reviewed this show’s first half at the end of 2023, I mentioned that the initial concern with the anime’s very existence is that it’s adapting a narrative that is functionally being told through the very fact that it’s a video game. The delivery of the game’s true ending, especially, is so innately A Video Game that it’s functionally impossible to adapt directly into a television show. I’m happy to say that although that function is lost, Ver. 1.1a’s ending is still plenty satisfying (and I’m told especially so for Drakengard fans, without giving too much away). Something is still very much lost in the transition, though. In his review of the penultimate episode, Anime News Network’s James Beckett wrote:
What the anime of NieR:Automata has not been able to capture in these critical final moments is the way that the game makes its players complicit in the tragedy in a way that they could never be if they simply sat down and passively watched these events unfold from behind the safe veil of the fourth wall. It would be like if we were each individually guided on stage to place our hands on Hamlet's shoulder and push him gently onwards to his final destination. It doesn't change anything about what happens in the story, but it changes everything about what it means to us.
These acts of “ludonarrative culpability,” as Beckett called it, are the reason why Yoko Taro is considered an auteur in the gaming sphere. Both NieR games are tragedies writ large, and Yoko’s genius lies in making you, the player, carry out the tragedy, often well before you realize what you’ve wrought. And to Beckett’s point from his review, NieR: Automata is a perfectly fine sci-fi story in its own right, but the game puts the blood squarely on the player’s hands and inserts them into the narrative in a way that simply watching cannot. The connection I felt to the story was only there because I’d already played the game myself; I can only imagine how it would feel if this was your introduction to NieR.
So to return to a question I suggested at the end of last year: Do I recommend this to people who haven’t played the game? Eh, not particularly. It’s a well-made show, to be sure, but there’s enough missing from what makes Automata such an exceptional game that I’m not sure I can recommend it wholeheartedly if you’re not already familiar. Then again, I wouldn’t really know how it reads from the other side. To those who know and love the game, Ver. 1.1a isn’t quite the “Rebuild of NieR” some were hoping it to be, but it’s an interesting companion piece that takes surprising strides to tie it even closer to the preceding franchise. If you’re a newcomer? YMMV. Either way, play the game.
Oshi no Ko, season 2
I spent far more time than was necessary in the Discourse Mines following Oshi no Ko’s thunderous debut last year and a controversial (but fortunately inconsequential) turn of events in the manga shortly after the season finale. Though I remain one of the series’ foremost glazers, I’ve had my moments where I worried that maybe I overrated it a bit in my head, that I carried too much water for writer Aka Akasaka, and that I’m still riding the high of the series’ premiere.
Oshi no Ko’s second season completely erased any lingering worry almost immediately and reminded me and the world that yes, it Really Is That Good. The “It’s So Over” switch flipped to “We Are So Back” as soon as best girl Kana Arima and co-lead Taiki Himekawa dazzled their co-stars and one another with literally colorful displays of their acting prowesses. My expectations continued to rise as an active reader of the source material, and studio Doga Kobo continued to surpass them. This adaptation is just that good.
Aqua’s quest for revenge and Akasaka’s continuing examination of Japan’s entertainment industry both lead us into the world of stage acting, specifically 2.5D adaptations of famous manga and anime. Aqua is cast alongside Kana and his sham girlfriend and former reality show co-star Akane in an adaptation of the fictional smash hit shonen manga Tokyo Blade, along with several members of a theater company to which Ai once belonged. While Aqua is more concerned with getting dirt on Ai’s background than he is with acting, Kana and Akane have much more personal stakes as they try to show one another up and still put on the best play they can. Kana can’t stand Akane’s absolutist, matter-of-fact approach to acting (nor the fact that she’s fake-dating the guy for whom Kana’s down abysmal), while Akane, who idolized Kana as a child and is disappointed to see her take a step back as an actress, is trying her damnedest to rekindle the spark that convinced her to pick up acting in the first place. On the fringes, rookie actor Melt Narushima is trying to make up for a heinous performance in the first season that earned him the scorn of his more experienced castmates as well as a mangaka’s permanent ire.
A good amount of this arc does feel like Akasaka was still sorting through his feelings about the Kaguya-sama live adaptation when he wrote it, but he also gave himself some room for reflection on his own side of the equation as a mangaka. Tokyo Blade’s creator, Abiko Samejima, holds her creation very dear and is not impressed with the script. Her friend and former boss, Yoriko Kichijouji, is entirely too familiar with how badly the process can go; her own manga, Sweet Today, was horribly botched in this show’s first season, and she wants to help Abiko-sensei keep a level head. Kichijouji-sensei is the voice of reason this time out as she points out all of the concessions creators may need to take in order to get their work adapted and the unimpeachable truth that mangaka are basically crazy people (and you can practically hear Akasaka screaming through her lines; four months after Kichijouji said this in the manga, Kaguya-sama published its final chapter, marking Akasaka’s retirement from illustrating serialized manga). At her urging, in addition to an all-nighter helping Abiko-sensei make a deadline, the play goes off without any more hitches.
I didn’t much care for the Tokyo Blade arc in the manga but I knew full well that it would translate well to anime just as well as the acting sequences in the first season had. Akasaka’s decision to have the actors treat the stage as a battleground felt a little silly on the page, but experiencing everything again in sound and motion reminded me that this was the same genre of psychological competition that made Kaguya-sama one of my all-time favorites. Doga Kobo is just stupidly good at adapting manga. God, the animation is incredible. Character animation is as deliberate and mesmerizing as always, and emotional moments are punctuated by interpretive splashes of watercolors. Melt’s breakout on stage was a standout moment in the manga, but the abstract, expressionistic depiction of his redemption was so perfectly conceived on screen that life imitated art: Kichijouji-sensei cried in the anime, and manga artist Mengo Yokoyari cried in real life.
I could go on and on and on, but if you’re already this deep into Oshi no Ko I really don’t need to tell you anything else. This season, for all its gorgeous visuals and onstage glory, does not hesitate to remind you at the worst possible moments that this is still ultimately a revenge story and pulls the rug from you just as gleefully as it dazzles. The first season was already exceptional, but the second cements Oshi no Ko as an all-time great adaptation. As a fan of the manga, this is as good of an anime as I could ask for, and then some.
Mixed Bags
My Deer Friend Nokotan
I’m just exhausted.
I’ll admit, I bit a little too hard on the marketing. The preview trailers promised madcap, nonsensical fun on the level of Nichijou or Asobi Asobase, the cast was exceptional, and the OP’s refrain was a total earworm (Shikanoko Nokonoko Koshitantan! Shikanoko Nokonoko Koshitantan! Shikanoko Nokonoko Koshitantan!). It even has the cast jumping in the air! And we all know the Ryo Yamada rule! This was going to set the bar for gag anime!
Oh, how little I knew. Y’know how sometimes you see a trailer for a middling comedy movie and you can tell they already gave away all of the movie’s best jokes? Turns out My Deer Friend Nokotan did just that. I did temper my expectations; it’s not like I thought this was going to be the second coming of Nichijou or anything, but I guess I was still expecting something, I dunno, funnier?
The premise seemed to lend itself to a good comedy either way: Torako Koshi, a former delinquent, has successfully expunged her prior reputation and worked her way up to becoming her school’s student council president. All of that is nearly thrown away when a bizarre new student, Noko Shikanoko, immediately clocks her and almost spills the beans. Also, Shikanoko (who prefers to be addressed as Nokotan) has antlers and can commune with deer. She may even be a deer herself. She hoodwinks Koshi into starting a Deer Club at school, where they recruit Koshi’s upsetting younger sister Anko and the languid, rice-obsessed Bashame. Allegedly, shenanigans ensue.
Take this with a grain of salt, as humor is very subjective, but this show just plain isn’t very funny. Nokotan’s gags hit at least as often as they miss, and a lot of them just feel unforgivably dull. One bad segment can feel like an entire episode. The only reliable gags are gross-out humor, outsized slow-motion violence, or Nausicaä references. Everything else is just Koshi barging into the lower third of the screen to shout about how wacky the joke was just then.
Look, I know that humor doesn’t always translate across cultures. The things I don’t understand about Japanese humor could fill several libraries. I do, at the very least, get the basics of the boke/tsukkomi dynamic (fool and straight-man, basically) and how the reaction to a silly thing is usually the real punchline. I’ve absorbed enough Japanese media to adapt to that momentum. That nearly goes out the window here, because Koshi’s role as the tsukkomi is a straight-up momentum killer. It’s rarely just a “wait, what?!” or a “yeah, that’s rich coming from you;” it’s usually more like “wait, that is so ridiculous! You couldn’t possibly have pulled that off! And what’s that you’re wearing all of a sudden?” The rhythm is just gone. Comic timing? Don’t know her. Even if I thought the joke was funny at first, you could probably see any semblance of a smirk fading off my face by the time she was done. And hey, maybe some of this stuff doesn’t translate. Maybe it’s not that funny in Japan either.
The other characters outside of our main two really don’t help. Anko’s whole “yandere siscon” act isn’t very funny to start with, and she brings nothing to the table otherwise. Bashame is such a nothing character that even Koshi was sick of her by the end of the season. And while I feel like a good narrator can add a good level of je ne sais quoi to a comedy anime (see: Kaguya-sama), an overly intrusive one can actively take away from the humor (see: the Kaguya-sama dub). Nokotan’s narrator comes at it with a sort of winking, nudging “HEY, WE’RE A GAG ANIME” energy that gets too grating, too quickly. What doesn’t help is that he eventually affects a fake-desperate “please watch this show and tell your friends!” bent that called to mind Ron Howard’s narration in Arrested Development’s third season as it was approaching cancellation. Meta humor, as in the latter, can absolutely elevate the level of comedy; 100 Girlfriends in particular wielded it like a machete. In Nokotan, on the other hand, it betrays a clear lack of confidence in the writing, and there’s nothing less funny than comedy that doesn’t even believe in itself.
It’s not all awful, I swear. There are genuinely some very good gags; Nokotan’s cat-and-mouse game with an anachronistic matagi was a blast from beginning to end, and the skin-suit gag got a bigger laugh out of me than almost anything else I saw this season. Any good anime, especially a comedy, lives and dies by its voice cast, and Megumi Han’s performance as the titular Nokotan is this show’s whirring, beeping life support. She makes the absolute most of her considerable range as the jokes call for it, while somehow never stepping on her own toes by dipping into her Kana Arima voice from Oshi no Ko. Koshi shares a VA with Hatsune goddamn Miku. Bashame is pretty much only tolerable thanks to the languid performance of relative newcomer Fuuka Izumi, whom I’m very glad to hear in something that isn’t Gushing Over Magical Girls.
And aside from the music (the OP, to be fair, is infectious), that’s about all there is to like about the production. Did Studio WIT really make this? It looks like it could’ve been made by anybody, and that’s not a compliment. The uncanny CGI deer were the only real visual standout, and even those lost their shine before long. Something attempting to be this audacious needs to have a look to match, and Nokotan falls flat. Again, maybe that’s on me for trying to hold it to the standard Nichijou set.
I’d honestly be surprised if this gets picked up for another season. I’d be hard-pressed to come back for more.
No Longer Allowed in Another World
(CONTENT WARNING for discussion of suicide)
Osamu Dazai was one of the most complex and fascinating figures in Japan’s modern literary canon, right up there with his ideological opposite and real-life rival, Yukio Mishima. Dazai was, frankly, a disaster. He was a serial womanizer, terrible with money, repeatedly disowned by his family, unemployable, a deadbeat dad, and hopelessly addicted to drugs and booze. His magnum opus, Ningen Shikkaku, or No Longer Human, is a stark semi-autobiography, just barely fictionalizing his repeated failures of dignity and self-preservation, including his several failed attempts at double-suicide with his many illicit lovers. The same year it was published, however, Dazai was successful in his final attempt, drowning himself alongside his mistress in 1948.
But like, what if he got hit by the isekai truck instead?
Isekai Shikkaku, or No Longer Allowed in Another World, fully Goes There. The series begins with the legally distinct, unnamed Sensei and his lover Sacchan blindsided by an anachronistic truck along the riverbed. Sensei comes to, alone, in a monastery inspired by the JRPGs from well after his time. He doesn’t know what’s going on and he doesn’t care. All that matters is that he’s still alive, and that sucks for him. Sensei is greeted by Annette, an elf priestess in a virgin killer sweater, who is shocked to discover that not only has he not gained a single stat boost by coming to this world, but he’d also rather kill himself than take her up on the standard offer of an OP cheat skill (and he’d also just rather kill himself in general). So he bounces to go find Sacchan. His refreshing outlook on the new world, as opposed to the other excitable losers who got isekai’d before him, completely melts Annette’s brain to the point of falling in love with him on the spot, so she dons her sluttiest Persona 3 battle armor to chase after him.
Sensei hates this shit. Contemporary western fantasy hadn’t made its way to Japan yet in his time, so he has zero point of reference in this world, and he sure as shit has no clue what a JRPG is. The level-up jingles give him migraines. He has no self-preservation instincts and the only solace he has in this strange new world is a jar of toxic sleeping pills that he munches like M&Ms. He has no interest in or aptitude for fighting, so when he encounters a big-tiddy catgirl being squeezed half to death by a walking tree’s branches, Sensei sees the perfect opportunity to get himself killed. Unfortunately, his blood has become so toxic from said pills that piercing his skin instantly kills the tree, saving the young lady he incorrectly names Tama. Much to Annette’s consternation, she joins the party, and they set out on Sensei’s quest to find his lover and finally die in peace.
As you can guess, that’s not what happens. For some time, we see Sensei throwing himself in harm’s way, floridly imploring various fantasy monsters to kill him in one shot with their big bats, to the point where they get creeped out. His vaguely-threatening exhortations for death make for a fine formula, but one that can wear thin quickly. Before it gets that chance, though, the seed planted in Annette’s introduction bears fruit: The visitors to this world from our own aren’t here in isolation, and they have succeeded in completing the usual isekai goal of overthrowing the demon king. There’s now a massive power vacuum, and nature abhors that shit, so a cabal of erstwhile isekai protags dub themselves the Fallen Angels and decide to take over.
This turn was, to put it bluntly, the main thing that kept me watching. There’s a fine bit of commentary inherent to this framing that the type of wet-noodle, borderline faceless self-insert isekai protags tend to appeal to antisocial losers who would rather give into their basest impulses than see an opportunity to actually better themselves. This is not at all lost on Sensei; his keen eye for the human condition leads him to interrogate the Fallen Angels his party encounters so that he can write about their own failures as humans, as well as the gaping voids in their previous lives that led to them acting like petty tyrants as soon as they gained a bit of power and treating a brand new world like their own personal playground. Sensei’s writings reveal that he did indeed gain a power when he came over to this world; if he sees fit, a finished book will surround its subject and reanimate them back in their original world and afford them a second chance to right their wrongs or, in one particularly moving case, start over on the right foot.
For as audacious as No Longer Allowed’s premise is and as impeccable its comic timing and voice cast (you will find some absolute heaters completely buried on the call list), I just didn’t find it all that compelling. Isekai as a genre is so oversaturated that it was old hat to call it oversaturated even five years ago, so while I do try to pan for gold, sometimes I just come up with a neat-looking river stone. Hell, I can’t even say this one’s all that neat-looking; there’s nothing that looks all that great about it to begin with. The character designs and backdrops are pretty standard JRPG-style stuff that you’re just as likely to find in the likes of Helck, with lackluster animation to match. Didn’t care too much for most of the characters either. Even for its commentary on the isekai genre and the type of person it caters to, No Longer Allowed just ends up shaking out like another isekai series.
There’s clearly more at play here, and I might just go ahead and read the manga because I didn’t really find myself looking forward to watching the anime. Maybe it just didn’t translate well. No Longer Allowed in Another World does clearly have something to say under its silly premise, but its method of getting that message across is, ironically, buried underneath the usual trappings of the genre it’s trying to say something about.
Wistoria: Wand and Sword
I’m gonna preface this by saying that Wistoria is probably the best anime I watched this year that I’ve classified as a “Mixed Bag,” save for Jellyfish Can’t Swim in the Night. I’m generally of the mind that excellent production can make up for a middling story (my enjoyment of the likes of Solo Leveling and Wind Breaker this year was pretty emblematic of that), and that is the case here for the most part. Wistoria, story-wise, is nothing special; it’s your standard power fantasy set in a magical school, but the entire presentation is just almost fascinating enough to overcome that hurdle.
Hell, it’s almost not even worth going over the plot. Unassuming boy named Will goes to a magic academy, he doesn’t have any magical aptitude, so he makes up for it by honing his hand-to-hand combat prowess in the school’s designated dungeon. It’s Mashle meets Solo Leveling. Will gets picked on (like, a LOT), but he doesn’t care, because he made a promise long ago to reach the pinnacle of magical society to reach his childhood friend, who happens to be a genius mage. There are duels, there’s a tournament, there’s monsters, you know how this goes.
Will has allies in the school, namely a female friend who’s madly in love with him as well as a professor who covers for his shortcomings in magic-related subjects, but remember that this is a self-insert fantasy: There are also increasingly menacing bullies for him to put in their place. Will is challenged by a Snape-like instructor, a classmate who just hates him so much for not having magic aptitude, and a top performer at the school who’s just flat-out evil (and racist to boot!). And of course the latter two also have goon squads of snickering hangers-on. Will always succeeds, of course, because despite his shortcomings, he’s the strongest and most specialest boy. It’s almost like an isekai without the isekai. Too bad we find out that Will is hilariously shredded, which kinda blows a hole in the self-insert aspect.
Goofy shonen-isms aside, there’s still plenty to enjoy here. Varying types of magic, artifacts, and fantasy races abound, and lore is sprinkled throughout the show in character biographies in the commercial break eyecatches. The story does get gradually less stupid as the season goes on and characters are better fleshed out. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with watching a really strong dude beat the shit out of monsters and assholes.
The only thing that really kept me coming back to Wistoria was that, plainly, it looks and sounds fucking awesome. It’s not the best-looking anime I watched this season (that would either be Oshi no Ko or one of the next two anime on this list), but Wistoria takes such a surprisingly cinematic approach to such an uninspiring story that I couldn’t help but keep watching. The lighting effects are lush, combat animation is bonkers in its best moments, and the score is pretty darn good too. It definitely takes some big swings at simulating camera movements and perspective shots that don’t always accomplish what they set out to do, but I can appreciate the ambition bleeding through. I can see the vision, and that’s what counts.
The actual content is pretty paint-by-numbers, but Wistoria is well-made enough that it’s worth a shaky recommendation. Maybe just turn your brain off until the action picks up. I've heard the manga gets pretty good from here on out, so I'll probably stick it out for another season.
The Gems
The Elusive Samurai
If you’re not already familiar with this series, do me a favor and watch the OP linked right above. Pretty good character animation, right? Expressive, weighty, plenty of personality. The colors pop like crazy too! A lot of the time, an anime series will heavily stylize its OP to attract eyeballs and YouTube metrics, oftentimes bringing in outside animators and directors for a unique feel. In the case of The Elusive Samurai, I cannot stress enough that all that animation is the standard.
Yes, this show looks exceptional. Even putting aside the fact that it’s historical fiction, this show has a truly timeless look to it that I still struggle to put into words. The Elusive Samurai is clearly a modern production but bears all of the hallmarks of what great animation has always looked like when a studio is willing to invest in it: Colors are so bold and saturated that I want to take a damn bite out of them, backgrounds are painstakingly hand-painted even for brief cuts, and there even seems to be a film grain overlay to really sell the classic feel. It’s not perfect (I’ll get into that later), but holy shit is it a feast for the eyes.
Adapted from the pages of Weekly Shonen Jump, The Elusive Samurai is a heavily fictionalized retelling of the fallout of the Siege of Kamakura in the 14th Century. Tokiyuki Hojo, left without a family in a bloody coup of the shogunate, is prevented from committing suicide by enigmatic priest Yorishige Suwa and then thrown right back into the fire of the battlefield. Yorishige, who has prophetic visions of the future, foresaw Tokiyuki’s ascent to leadership and wants to see how he fares in battle. Tokiyuki didn’t bother with his training as a young master, instead playing elaborate games of hide-and-seek with the Hojo clan’s advisors, so in the face of certain danger, he’s left with no choice but to do what he does best and run the fuck away. And as with evading his training, Tokiyuki realizes that it’s way more fun than actual combat, and the future is suddenly even more clear to Yorishige: Evasion, not bloodthirst, will guide Tokiyuki’s path to revenge.
At Yorishige’s increasingly unnerving behest, Tokiyuki goes into hiding at Suwa Shrine and begins building a squad to take down the usurper, Takauji Ashikaga. Along with Yorishige’s daughter, Shizuku, he teams up with young warriors Kojiro and Ayako, and in their travels pick up the crass, kitsune-masked thief Genba and the food-obsessed swordsboy Fubuki. It’s fine as extended casts go, though we don’t get much from a few of them past their introductory arcs. Tokiyuki is an absolute delight, though. He’s a sweet and joyful kid despite his circumstances; real shonen protag material. And most importantly, he’s completely over Yorishige’s shit.
I’m a sucker for magical realism, and The Elusive Samurai delivers. Yorishige really does appear to be a prophet, to the point where he can even predict Dragon Ball Z (yes, really), and he and Shizuku are capable of pulling off acts that any actual person would consider a literal miracle. Mythical beasts roam the land and those that were slain appear to reside on a different realm accessible to the Suwas. All of Takauji’s top soldiers have senses and abilities far beyond anything human or animal, and Takauji himself seems to have borrowed some of his prowess from the devil himself. With this show’s commitment to top-tier visuals and animation, the sky's the limit for what we can see, and it kept me glued to my TV every episode. It almost made me want to watch Demon Slayer. Almost.
The cast has some solid performances from familiar names and voices: Yuichi Nakamura is his usual blusteringly silly self as Yorishige, Aoi Yuuki is a riot as Genba, and Katsuyuki Konishi (Kamina himself!) infuses Takauji with appropriate menace. There’s some Chainsaw Man and Bocchi sprinkled into Tokiyuki’s clan of rookie warriors as well. Good stuff, but what really caught my attention was a surprisingly familiar voice giving life to the bug-eyed villain Sadamune Ogasawara: None other than Yutaka Aoyama, the narrator of Kaguya-sama: Love is War. Nobody could have more perfectly infused Sadamune with the appropriate level of self-serious goofiness than the guy who narrated Kaguya-sama’s balloon game like it was an NFL Film. Perfect casting.
As incredible as this show looks most of the time, the remainder does have a critical issue: CloverWorks didn’t seem too invested in hand-animating horses or any of the show’s characters riding them, so it opted instead for CGI. Very poorly-implemented CGI. I really try to take stuff like this as it comes, but the modeling looks way too video-gamey for the style the rest of the show is going for, to the point where I’m taken out of it. There’s really no excuse for something this uncanny with the high bar The Elusive Samurai set for itself early on (and yes, Uzumaki is airing as I write this, and I’ll talk about the similar problem that show has at the end of the year).
I know I just said this about Wind Breaker last year, but this may be CloverWorks’ other Big Shonen Hit. It certainly has the juice, between the wacky gags and shockingly brutal violence, and CGI issues aside, the studio has clearly invested in it. A second season is already on the way, and I’d say it’s paid off. If the studio can iron out the kinks, this could end up becoming an all-timer.
Makeine: Too Many Losing Heroines!
If I haven’t made it clear enough, my anime journey has turned me into a bit of a romcom guy. Couldn’t tell you why. Maybe it’s because Tenchi Muyo was a formative anime for me, or maybe it’s because I got on Kaguya-sama relatively early in my return-to-weebdom trek and I’ve been chasing that high ever since. I could go on and on about the ones I’ve watched and which particularly stood out, but we’d be here all day. At the same time, though, a burgeoning market for the genre, particularly among the shonen demographic, means that there’s gonna be some real slop out there. Plenty of anime, manga, and especially light novels are targeted at the “lonely boy who wishes cute girls would attach themselves to him just because he’s A Nice Guy” type, and while there are some genuinely excellent series that cater plenty to that kind, there’s a well-defined line between the good and the trash.
Makeine is well aware of that line and elects to skip rope with it. Genre subversion is at its best when the work in question shows a genuine care for the milieu it’s satirizing, and Too Many Losing Heroines is to trashy light novel romcoms what The Eminence in Shadow is to edgy isekai and Bang Brave Bang Bravern is to vaguely homoerotic mech warfare. It’ll slap you in the face with every dumb threadbare cliche you’ve come to expect from the genre, and it’ll do so with a smile.
These stories are usually fronted by a total wet noodle and Kazuhiko Nukumizu is the soggiest soba you’ve ever seen. His main interests are water fountains and hey, wouldn’t you know it, light novel romcoms. As far as he’s concerned, he’s a background character with the personality to match. He’s thrust to the forefront, though, when he’s caught staring at his classmate, Anna Yanami, embarrassingly picking up the pieces from being brutally rejected at a cafe. She forces herself into Nukumizu’s booth and helps herself to several courses’ worth of stress-eating on his dime, which he never agreed to. As recompense, Anna decides to cook him lunch until her debt is more or less repaid, and would you look at that, Nukumizu just made a friend!
As the title would suggest, Anna’s not the only lovelorn maiden finding her way into Nukumizu’s school life. He’s exhorted into joining the school’s literature club, where he meets the track runner, Lemon Yakishio, and the lit club’s stammering stalwart, Chika Komari. He also has to bear witness to each of their own crushes backfiring and deal with the fallout. And amidst this chaos, there’s plenty of botched confessions, getting locked in storage closets, boob faceplants, and all the other nonsense you’d expect from the genre. And it’s terrific! And in the midst of all this, even as Nukumizu seems to be a passenger in this journey, you see him ever-so-slowly realize that he has some agency and grow closer to these girls. Makeine is plenty silly and more than a little stupid, but there’s plenty of heart in here as well.
The offbeat character dynamics and clever dialogue are what really make this. Everyone is just refreshingly weird in their own ways. Anna is a complete menace and totally convinced she’s the protagonist of life, and she may not even be wrong. I almost don’t care whether she and Nukumizu get together or not; they’re such a fun “serious guy/goblin mode girl” pairing that I’m not that interested in their dynamic changing. Komari and the lit club VP Koto are a dynamic fujoshi duo, ensuring that the club’s shenanigans aren’t too shonen-centric (and funny enough, Koto has her own idea for an Osamu Dazai isekai). Everyone in the student council has something demonstrably Wrong With Them, the homeroom teacher is a disaster, and the school nurse probably belongs in prison. I love every single one of them. I could’ve done without Nukumizu’s offputtingly-clingy little sister (and learning about her analogue in this season’s other romcom LN adaptation, Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings in Russian, was enough to put me off of watching it), but it looks like one of her own female classmates is in love with her, so that could be gold in later seasons.
A-1 Pictures, to borrow an industry term, put its entire pussy into this production. As with last year’s Heavenly Delusion, there was so much love put into the lighting effects, background art, and character animation that I felt like I was watching a Makoto Shinkai film at times. All of those elements working in tandem massaged my brain in such a way that when every episode ended, I was left confused because hey, where the hell is the rest of the movie? Makeine is also loaded with killer visual gags, and I give A-1 a ton of credit for letting those jokes land without calling too much attention to them, unlike a certain other show I watched this season. The opening and endings were real treats, with three different EDs as the season progressed, each depicting one of the titular heroines’ personal journeys (and performed by each respective girl’s VA, no less). This is some real investment on the studio’s part and it absolutely paid off.
I promise that every time I compare a romcom to Kaguya-sama, it comes at a great inner struggle to prevent myself from doing so, but if that anime is truly over and this is where A-1 is focusing its resources, Makeine may very well be a worthy successor. I really can’t say for sure whether this or The Elusive Samurai was the best new anime of the summer season, and it doesn’t help that they aired on the same day and I’d always watch them back-to-back. Just know that they’re easily two of the better anime I’ve seen this year.
Mayonaka Punch
If “mega-cancelled YouTuber starts up a new channel with a bunch of disaster lesbian vampires” isn’t enough of a hook for you, I really don’t know what else to tell you.
Masaki got kicked off her popular NewTube channel after punching one of her co-hosts, and the internet is letting her hear it. Maybe barging in on the “we’re firing Masaki” live stream and tackling one of them didn’t help either. Rather than film the bog-standard apology video, she figures she can just wing it and start up a solo channel. Masaki decides to start by playing the hits and drunkenly recreate her first channel’s breakout video in a spooky abandoned hospital, and finds more than she bargained for in a vampire named Live (pronounced like it’d be short for Olivia) who really, really wants to drink her blood in particular. Masaki nearly falls to her death in a panic, only for Live to save her and reveal that she has the very filmable ability to fly, so Masaki cuts a deal: If Live can help her get a new channel off the ground, Masaki will let her drink her blood.
This is tremendous content, so Masaki moves in with Live at Banpai Manor along with her vampire roomies to produce a new channel, co-starring the eternal 10-year-old day trader (night trader?) Ichiko, the soft-spoken fujoshi musician Fu, and the heavy-vaping gambling addict Tokage. They name the channel Mayonaka Punch (because mayonaka means “midnight” and because Masaki punched the shit out of her former co-host) and quickly get to work trying to beat Masaki’s former channel to their goal of a million subscribers (and a delicious lunch for Live). Even though they try to pass off their vampire shenanigans as Very Good CGI, they run afoul of a vampiric authority figure for exposing their identities, so they have to get internet famous the old fashioned way: Cute Girls Doing Cute Things.
I can’t quite put into words what a blast this show is. Mayonaka Punch frequently barrels along at a madcap pace, often punctuated by an electro-swing score, as its cast of loud idiots (and Fu) carom off of one another to chaotic effect. The voice cast really sells it, too: Ikumi Hasegawa (Kita in Bocchi the Rock!, Vladilena in 86, Übel in Frieren) owns every ounce of Masaki’s mounting exasperation as she deals with all the vampire nonsense while continuing to avoid the consequences of her own actions. Fairouz Ai continues her MVP-caliber resume for 2024 in style as Live, infusing her with a kind of desperate manic energy as she scratches and claws for Masaki’s approval. This was easily my favorite of her many roles so far this year, and two years removed from Chainsaw Man’s debut, it’s been a treat to hear her once again voicing a feral, bloodsucking loser.
As silly as Mayonaka Punch gets, though, it delivers some serious emotional blows when you least expect them. The fourth episode, centering on Fu’s history, is one of the best of any anime I watched this season. There’s also some very interesting history between Live and the head vampire’s go-between, Yuki, that was told through (though partially buried by) a series of video game facsimiles, and I hope there’s more there someday. And, of course, there’s Masaki’s evolving relationship with Live, with romantic undertones so tantalizing they might as well be overtones. I really thought there wasn’t enough time left in the season to reach a satisfying conclusion, and though it might not have fully reeled in the yuri bait, I was pleasantly surprised at how well everything tied together.
Mayonaka Punch’s ending is open enough that I can only hope it gets a second season, but I’m not about to hold my breath. That’s a tall order for original anime that don’t set the world on fire, but this one has all the right pieces for a future cult classic. Liked and subscribed.
Suicide Squad Isekai
When this was announced, the only reaction it really got out of me was “Sure dude, why not.” As far as what this show is, it does what it says on the tin. It’s an isekai featuring a motley crew of anti-heroes plucked directly from the David Ayers and James Gunn Suicide Squad films. You already know what you’re in for.
Sure enough, this is a straight up Suicide Squad story from the jump: Harley Quinn and the Joker (the latter sporting yet another heinous makeover) try to pull off a heist, it goes sideways, Harley gets arrested and forced into Amanda Waller’s scheme to mine rare resources in another world alongside Deadshot, Clayface, Peacemaker, and King Shark. It’s your standard JRPG-style isekai fantasy world, except the previous Suicide Squad of Enchantress, the Thinker, Ratcatcher, and Killer Croc seem to have run roughshod over tensions between races and kingdoms, leaving Rick Flag alone to pick up the pieces.
And what ensues is pretty much what you’d expect. Everyone looks appropriately anime; Psycho-Pass character designer Akira Amano did especially good work with Harley, to the point where I’m shocked that a billion-yen idea like “anime Harley Quinn” was slept on for so long. All of this makes it even funnier that Peacemaker is still very much just John Cena. Character designs aside, Suicide Squad Isekai only seems to look good when it wants to; most of the moment-to-moment stuff looks a bit muted but absolutely pops off when business picks up. There’s even a flashback sequence of Deadshot and Ratcatcher that has a sort of loose, crumbly Masaaki Yuasa look to it. Despite the genericism of the setting and inconsistency of the aesthetic, though, Suicide Squad Isekai still carries plenty of style with it. The intro and outro are both blasts; I didn’t realize until the season ended that the “Tank!”-style OP was by Tomoyasu Hotei, the composer of the most iconic piece of music from Kill Bill. The ED (content warning: Mori Calliope) heavily features Amanda Waller getting down in ways I can only hope to one day see Viola Davis recreate.
The fusion of American and Japanese styles is definitely awkward at times; the occasional references to other Warner Bros properties like Lord of the Rings and Tom and Jerry feel particularly shoehorned in considering this is a Japanese production, but the voice cast makes up for a lot of faults. Anna Nagase captures Harley’s freewheeling energy perfectly, and her penchant for nicknames is extra cute in Japanese when she’s calling the Joker “Purin-chan” or King Shark “Nana-chan.” Jun Fukuyama is a real standout as Clayface, channeling the flashy spirit of Joker (not this one, the Persona 5 one) to animate Basil Karlo’s irritating showmanship. Takehito Koyasu as Peacemaker doesn’t quite have the self-serious goofy energy we’ve come to expect from the live action version, but it’s such funny casting on its face that I don’t really mind. Can this tradeoff go both ways? I want John Cena as DIO yesterday.
For a Studio WIT production and a story by Re:Zero’s writers, Suicide Squad Isekai may occasionally feel like less than the sum of its parts (par for the course for the property’s recent adaptations, unfortunately, save for the Gunn film), but if you don’t come at it expecting too much you’ll have a good time. Far from my favorite this year, but it’s a crowd pleaser, and those, I like.
#anime reviews#nier automata#oshi no ko#my deer friend nokotan#shikanoko nokonoko koshitantan#isekai shikkaku#no longer allowed in another world#wistoria wand and sword#the elusive samurai#makeine#too many losing heroines!#mayonaka punch#suicide squad isekai
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@jegulus-microfic / february 29: address / word count: 376
During the two weeks James has been working as a delivery man for a small pizza chain something unusual has been happening. On his first day he had to deliver two family-sized pizzas, and when he arrived at the address he found a quaint, teal-coloured house with large windows. When he knocked on the door, it was answered by a handsome guy with dark curls who looked him up and down with a deep frown, paid him, received both pizzas and practically slammed the door in his face. James thought he'd never have to go back to the place again because of how disgusted he looked, but the next day, and every single day he's been working, he's had to deliver at least one thing to the same address, but not every time the same guy receives them, sometimes another guy welcomes him, who doesn't seem to hate James deeply and sometimes they make small talk, he said his name is Sirius.
During the third week, James doesn't know whether his shift never coincides with the calls of those he learned are brothers, or they just stopped ordering. Talking to Remus (the other delivery guy) one afternoon, he learns that it was the former, for when a grumpy grey-eyed boy answered the door the day before, the first thing he did was ask even more angrily "Where's James?", while Remus was only shocked to see the long-haired boy staring at him from behind Regulus.
That's how the next time James goes the exchange between them goes like this:
"Sirius, do you remember the delivery boy from the other day?" asked James.
"The handsome one?" replied Sirius.
"Yes! He asked me to give you his number, his name is Remus and he thinks you're handsome too."
"Actually James, I'm glad you are telling me this. Give me your phone." Sirius quickly types into it. "I just gave you the number of the most important person in my life, my brother, who has been insufferable thanks to you for the past three weeks. So please do us all a favour and call him, okay?"
"You're doing me the favour so thank you. Consider it done."
"Brilliant! Pleasure doing business with you."
The deal was closed with a handshake.
#jegulus#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#starchaser#sunseeker#jegulus microfic#marauders#the marauders#len writes
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Howdy!
Could I ask for romantic headcanons for what initially makes Blitzø, Stolas and Millie fall for the person they're interested in?
Hope that makes sense lol. Much love to you <3
Blitzo | Millie | Stolas [Romantic]
In which their initial interest in you begins to flourish
It was a tough mission, one far before Blitzo had formally established IMP
It was just him and his gun, payed hefty cash under a table to take care of a target
He hadn't expected the target would notice him, and the tables would turn so quickly
With his back pressed against the floor, and a gun placed firmly into his skull, he surely thought that was it
But the first shot was drawn not by the target, but another demon wielding an old shotgun
Blood was everywhere, splattered across the ceiling, himself, and you
And good lord, did that crimson ever bring out the colour of your eyes
One of those stupid slo mo scenes in his mind, at least until he realised you'd killed the target before he had- and- wait, why were there two of you?
" Good call on the client for bringing in a backup plan, huh? You ain't bad but you could be better. "
You had helped him back home after that, and to his surprise, split the cash amount equally, citing something about how bait was just as important as the kill
Since then, you were the only thing on his mind, and his new shining obsession
Growing up in Wrath, Millie was well acquainted with those around her, and found it easy to spot someone who wasn't local
And boy, you were anything but local
The delivery person who dropped off supplies for the ranch from various rings, you looked nothing like the folk around here, far more...modern
Eventually, she happily took up the 'chore' of handling drop offs and pick ups just for an excuse to talk to you, and learn about you
Your stories of the other rings drew her in, feeding the yearning she had to adventure amongst them
Her parents preferred to keep their rowdy girl home, where it was safer, but when you offered to take her with you on a delivery to the pride ring, she begged her parents until they reluctantly agreed
Not that it mattered, she would have snuck out if she had to
You brought her up to the pride ring, showed her the sights and even let her speak to one of your other clients, IMP
Thanks to you, she eventually got a job with them, and she still insists on taking care of any of IMPs drop offs
Stolas often felt isolated in the place he was pretty much forced to live in and continue to work from day in and out
Always the same faces, the same servitude, the same job, nothing ever changed
The only people he got 'close' to were other royals, since everyone else had to bow their heads to him and followed the speak when spoken to mentality
But like every royal, there were a few ceremonies and festivals he had to attend to where he got to interact with the denizens of hell in a more refreshing manner
That was where he met you, at the winter solstice celebration, which was annually held in the pride ring
You were a descendant of the former event runner, now tasked with welcoming the prince and shifting the temperature cycle of hell through an ancient artefact
Stolas found you far more welcoming than the last, having invited him into your home the day prior so he didn't have to travel so early, and asking him many questions of how his experience of it was in the past
This year, he opened the gate to the mortal sky far wider, and for longer, as a small gift to repay your kindness
He hopes you consider a summer solstice event, so he can see you more than once a year
Author's Note - Thank you so much for requesting!! I decided to be a lil creative and make something neat up, I hope it was to your liking!
#koko writez#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#reader insert#x reader#millie#millie x reader#blitzo#blitzo x reader#stolas#stolas x reader
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Kagari Amagase
Be My Lover, Be My Beast
Ch1 | Ch2 | Sweet | Premium | Epilogue| Bonus
Warning: Mention of blood
The second prince of Kogyoku, a country known for its tumultuous times and night cherry blossoms, is feared as a "demon" due to his love for battle. He’s always calm and composed, making it impossible to read what he’s thinking.
That’s why I wanted to know—the true nature of the fierce heat that occasionally flickers in his emerald eyes.
Merchant: "Oh... Oh no."
Emma: "Is something wrong?"
One day, after finishing my duties as Belle, I visited Kogyoku, where the cherry blossoms bloom all year round, along with the bookstore owner.
A merchant who had come to the inn where I was staying at to deliver a book I had ordered, showed me a package with a troubled look on his face.
Merchant: "The truth is, I thought your book was the last item to deliver today, but I just realized there’s still one more left."
Merchant: "If I deliver it now, I’ll keep an important client of mine waiting in the neighboring town, and that’s something I want to avoid..."
Emma: "If you’d like, I can deliver it for you."
Merchant: "What? But..."
Emma: "I’ve been wanting to thank you for always recommending such wonderful products, so please let me help!"
Merchant: "…Thank you, honestly, I appreciate it. The delivery location is somewhere you’ve been to before, so you should be fine."
Emma: "A place I’ve been to before?"
(Indeed, I’ve been here before.)
The delivery location was a grand castle standing proudly on a hill, with distinctive red tiles.
(It's strange how familiar this place feels... Oh, I remember, I’ve crossed paths with him here before...)
I glance down at the package I was holding carefully.
(It’s heavier than it looks... I wonder what’s inside.)
(Oh...)
When I lifted my head to climb the stairs, I noticed a figure at the very top.
Although they had their back turned to me, the fiery red hair tied in a braid told me who they were.
Emma: "Prince Kagari..."
(Huh? ...This scent...)
What wafted past my nose was the fleeting scent of cherry blossoms mixed with the thick smell of iron, as if to erase the former.
Kagari: "Princess, your timing is as bad as ever."
(...)
When Prince Kagari turned around, his clothes were splattered with dark red patterns.
As soon as I realized what it was, my body temperature plummeted.
Emma: "A-Are you injured...?"
Kagari: "Don’t worry, it’s just blood."
(So all of that... is someone else’s blood...)
A different kind of fear crawled up from my spine.
Kogyoku is known as a war-torn land, where battles are an everyday occurrence.
Prince Kagari had stood on the battlefield since he was young, achieving countless victories.
His overwhelming strength has earned him the fearsome title of "demon," something I was told about even before coming to Kogyoku.
(I first met him when he saved me from being attacked by bandits, but...)
(Even though he had saved me, when I encounter situations like this, I can’t help but feel my legs trembling.)
Kagari: "Do you need something from me?"
Emma: "Yes."
Kagari: "…Speak from there."
Kagari: "You can at least manage that much, can’t you?"
(Did I have a tense expression on my face?)
(...No, I can’t be scared over something like this.)
Though his words were blunt, the concern hidden within them gradually calmed my racing heart.
(I’m the one who decided to come to this country, knowing it would be dangerous.)
I steeled myself and started moving my feet again, standing beside Prince Kagari.
And the moment I looked up at his expressionless emerald eyes—
(Huh...?)
Kagari: "You’re quite the brave one, Princess. But don't complain if the scent rubs off on you."
A red-gloved hand covered touched my neck.
In a situation where it felt like my life was being held in someone else’s hands, I almost forgot how to breathe.
Kagari: "Didn’t you consider that I might be on edge after returning from battle?"
Emma: "I... I don’t think you’re the type of person who would take out their frustrations on innocent people."
(If he were, he wouldn’t have taken the trouble to keep me from getting too close to him when I was scared.)
The hand that had been gripping my neck easily let go, allowing me to steady my shallow breath.
Kagari: "You’re right. If I were to take it out on someone, it would probably be one of my attendants."
(I feel sorry them...)
Kagari: "Don’t worry. There’s nothing to gain from killing you... for now."
Emma: "Is there a chance that could change?"
Kagari: "Who knows?"
(That’s ominous...)
Kagari: "So, what do you need from me?"
I handed Prince Kagari the package.
Emma: "I brought this package addressed to you from a merchant."
Kagari: "Why you?"
Emma: "It just turned out that way. The merchant was worried he wouldn’t make his next appointment on time if he delivered it himself."
Kagari: "I see. So you offered to deliver it for him?"
Kagari: "You’ve been made to work for free, you kind-hearted Princess."
Emma: "...That’s not a very pleasant way to put it."
Kagari: "It’s the truth. Deal with it."
Kagari: "....."
After receiving the package, Prince Kagari seemed to think for a moment, then looked back at me.
Kagari: "Thank you for going to the trouble. I appreciate it."
Emma: "It was nothing. Well then, I’ll be on my way..."
Emma: "......... Um, Prince Kagari?"
Kagari: "What is it?"
Emma: "I can’t leave if you’re holding onto my arm."
(And he’s got a pretty firm grip; I can’t even move.)
Prince Kagari’s expression remained unreadable as he looked down at me, as usual, making it impossible to know what he was thinking or feeling.
Kagari: "Don’t you want some dorayaki?"
Emma: "Dorayaki? Not particularly..."
Kagari: "I do. I’m going to change, so wait here."
Emma: "Huh? Wait, Prince Kagari... And he’s gone."
(Why dorayaki all of a sudden? And without even asking about my plans... Well, I don’t really have any, so it’s fine.)
(If I go home now, he’ll probably come after me...)
(Prince Kagari is still as abrupt and forceful as ever.)
After changing with frightening speed, Prince Kagari and I were soon riding in a carriage to a sweets shop in the neighboring town.
.....
Emma: "Matcha, sakura, strawberry, chestnut, butter... There are so many options. Do you have a recommendation, Prince Kagari?"
Kagari: "All of them."
Emma: "...That doesn’t make it easier."
The sweet aroma of freshly baked dorayaki filled the air, making it hard to resist.
I kept scanning the menu from top to bottom, but I couldn’t decide.
(They all look so good... I’m leaning towards the classic red bean paste. But the butter one sounds interesting too.)
(No, since I’m in Kogyoku, I should probably go with the sakura flavor!)
Kagari: "Shopkeeper, one red bean paste with butter and one sakura, please."
Shopkeeper: "Got it, just a moment."
Emma: "...Did it show on my face?"
Kagari: "Your eyes are more honest than your mouth, Princess."
(It’s hard to hide anything from Prince Kagari.)
(Let’s see... The sakura dorayaki costs...…)
As I reached for my wallet, Prince Kagari suddenly grabbed my hand, stopping me.
With efficient movements, he used his other hand to pay the shopkeeper and took both dorayaki.
Kagari: "Too bad, I already paid."
Kagari: "Consider it as thanks for delivering the package."
(I see, so that’s why he brought me here.)
Emma: "Thank you. Then I’ll accept your offer and enjoy it."
(Woah...)
Still holding onto my hand, Prince Kagari led me to a nearby bench and had me sit down.
When I took the dorayaki he offered, the warmth of the freshly baked treat gently eased my heart.
Prince Kagari sat down beside me—and for some reason— turned to face me.
Kagari: "Princess, would you like to split the butter dorayaki with me?"
Emma: "Were you having trouble deciding too?"
Kagari: "...Something like that."
(Is he really fond of dorayaki?)
It was so unexpected that I couldn’t help but smile at the cuteness of it.
Emma: "I’d be happy to share. I was actually torn between the sakura and butter, so this makes me happy."
●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●
Kagari: "Your eyes are more honest than your mouth, Princess."
●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●
(Wait…. Did he order the butter dorayaki because he noticed I was struggling to decide between the two...?)
Kagari: "Here, Princess."
Emma: "Ah, sorry. I’ll split mine too."
I carefully broke the dorayaki in half and exchanged pieces with him.
(The slightly melted butter bean paste and the beautifully pink sakura bean paste... Which should I try first?)
(Which one did Prince Kagari start with?)
Kagari: "…That was good."
(What, he’s already finished!? It’s only been a few seconds!)
Ignoring my surprise, Prince Kagari stood up and spoke to the shopkeeper.
Kagari: "One more red bean paste dorayaki, please."
Shopkeeper: "Got it, coming right up."
(So... he didn’t suggest splitting because I was undecided; he just wanted more dorayaki for himself.)
(I never imagined Prince Kagari loved dorayaki THIS much.)
Prince Kagari sat down next to me again and, without changing his expression, began eating his dorayaki with complete focus.
(I still can’t quite read what he’s thinking, but from the way he looked out for me at the castle and thanked me with dorayaki...)
(He’s probably a kind person at heart.)
(Ah…. Both flavors were amazing.)
After finishing the dorayaki, a contented sigh escaped my lips without me realizing it.
Kagari: "Was it good, Princess?"
Emma: "Yes, very! They were so delicious; I’d love to try every flavor now."
As I nodded, his emerald eyes narrowed slightly in satisfaction.
Kagari: "I see. Then I’ll treat you again."
Kagari: "So, please be my lover."
Next
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Season 3's "Cause you're the BEAR™ and I remember you~" line was:
"Take us there bear. "
Ffs I really expected more from this show in handling Marcus' grief, but w/e - the visuals, editing and cinematography was great - the montages portrayed Carmy's fractured state of mind fantastically, the episode's Ayo and Joanna Calo directed, episodes 6 and 8 respectively were my favourites, Sydcarmy moments were subtle, but also in your face - e.g. hearing one of the Ever chef alums talk about, "The things you learn at dinner with your spouse!" after Carmy wheedled Syd into attending the Ever funeral dinner with him and just prior to him (hopefully) coming to the realization that emulating his asshole former boss Chef David was an exercise in bitter futility....but the things that were bloated and disappointed with this season sure did disappoint.
I would've felt far less underwhelmed had they given us less of Fak and Claire (and even Frank and Tiff to a certain extent) and more of the BOH staff's personal lives. Why are Manny and Angel and Ebra still relegated to a thankless non speaking background, why couldn't they sit with the impact of Marcus' mother's death on him in a way that didn't feel like such a, "swallowed my teeth" sort of, dare I say, whitewashed funeral instead of a vibrant celebration of life service, where is more of Sydney's backstory, when is Carmy's character going to progress, he can't keep regressing indefinitely, can he????
I wish I really couldn't see John Cena 😭
And why TF did they have Nat running herself ragged until the last moment until the delivery - I wanted to knock Carmy's head off when he was yelling at her to find more money, goddamn he has a long way to go in terms of maturation / character development and Sydney, Sydney, Sydney...as they say in Nigerian pentecostal churches a closed mouth is a closed destiny....I just need her to ream Carmy AT LEAST ONCE VERBALLY without holding back and if she dips afterwards so be it because omg he was maddening to watch this season much less work with.
#sydcarmy#the bear#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#the bear meta#the bear s3 spoilers#the bear spoilers just my opinions#the bear spoilers#i'm sorry lionel boyce 😔#marcus brooks#anti claire bear#anti fak too tbh#they did NOT need that many scenes#still the visuals and editing was gorgeous like honeydew and sundae and braciole up to eleven - joanna naugle my queen i love you forever#that's all i got for now
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